#i'm sad about that like park

[shepards-folly]

one last night together

#shep arts #empires smp #esmp #jimmy solidarity #solidaritygaming #scott smajor #smajor #uhm tbh there was an idea that was more like canonish but it ended up as some kinda au… #this is mainly season 1 based kinda but I took inspiration from season 2 for parts of their outfits #scotts cardigan thing and jimmys leather coat specifically but there’s just general influences I pulled from outside of that too #actually like besides the green and the fishes most of jims outfit is more like country/cowboy inspired kinda sorta? #I did make the executive decision that heelys were vaguely spur equivalent… they’re like both shoe things…. so yeah…. #idk man i was just goofin by that point #they'r silly and I like drawin them so yeah i spent a week struggling to draw a park about it.... #this was actually supposed to be like sad and generally darker but then working on it made me sad so i changed things lol #tbh interpret it however you want I'm calling it a goodbye but it can be a reunion or it could be two people goofing off no coming or going #just them hanging out or something.... #idk lol. im gonna go scamper off back to my art cave now. will be back with simple doodles on a regular basis again when im more regulr

[that-girl-glader]

Ugh I have a problem with watching and liking cancelled shows. Like, let me be happy once. There's a reason I gave up tv. Anyway, shoutout to The Hollow for making me lose sleep, and write this at like 2 in the morning. Watch it if you haven't, but....

#the hollow #the babysitters club #anne with an e #I'm about to do myself dirty by watching dead end even though it's cancelled #like I watched the first episode liked it went about my life found out it got cancelled and was sad about it #the owl house #dc super hero girls #I can't win once???! #you couldn't even give me the hollow #atleast bluey wouldn't do me like that and by bluey I mean australian tv #we should just give australian tv all our animations so they don't get cancelled #renew the babysitters club #pleaseeeeee #please give me one show pleaseeeeeeeeeeee #dead end paranormal park

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID: three digital illustrations based on episodes of the owl house. The first image is based on Understanding Willow and features Amity and Inner Willow. Amity looks at Inner Willow regretfully, holding a hand to her chest, as Inner Willow stands surrounded by pink fire, yelling at Amity with steam coming from her eyes. Lyrics are written crookedly across the background: "I'm not here for your entertainment/your the kinda guy that likes some fun/am I just here for a bit of amusement?/you'll never be my NUMBER 1!!!".

The second image is based off For the Future and features Willow and Hunter. Hunter hugs willow, his face obscured, as she sobs and vines glow green around them both. The lyrics this time are written more neatly in the middle of the image and read "are you bored?/or are you scared?/what happened to secrets we shared?/ Did I say something/? Have I crossed the line?/you know I never meant it/when I said I was FINE!".

The final image is both drawings on one canvas with no lyrics. Each image has a dark blue background. End ID]

Thinks about Willow's repressed emotions and eats glass. Cutely (song is Con Man by The Tuts!)

#the owl house #toh #willow park #amity blight #hunter toh #hunter noceda #(aw i haven't used that one in a while :')) #Understanding Willow #For the Future #i have to go shower so i can't add tag commentary rn all i can tell you is RRRAGH GO LISTEN TO THAT SONG AND GET FEELINGS ABT IT LIKE ME #I'VE WANTED TO MAKE THIS FOR WEEKS AND I FINALLY GOT AROUND TO IT #i wish you could see hunters face but it just didn't work with the proportions so i had to live with that #SAD. ah well there's other blonde boys (<- cruel joke abt grimwalkers) #not about him though. it's about willow #i think (and this is a big maybe) once I'm done my rewatch of s2A (and the frog show cause I'm rewatching that too) #I'm gonna rewatch EVERY willow ep right before ASIAS and then go from there #she's special she deserves it #same way i might rewatch the gus episodes before Labyrinth Runners. it's just a little ritual i have sometimes :] #anyway. oooooh you want to appreciate willows repressed rage and fear and sadness soooo bad #also I'M SORRY IF THE HAND LETTERING IS BAD FONTS JUST LOOKED TO GOOFY. I'M TRYING BARE WITH ME

[soulrph]

i’m seeing an awful lot of people reblogging memes here and in the tags, going “i know i have some memes in my inbox” or “i promise i’ll answer the last couple of memes in a minute”, and i think we all know there’s very little i can do or say to soften the situation, so allow me to tell you the exact number of memes i have on my own rp blog, which contains precisely one muse!

i have 298 memes in my inbox.

nobody hates me for it. nobody is organizing a little mob of mutuals with pitchforks and torches to tear down my house and drag me for a shame walk through town!

they also didn’t hate me at my highest number of memes, which was 724. 

we need to re-evaluate how we talk about ourselves on this site, bc frankly nobody is entitled to hate you or dislike you for a silly number in your inbox, okay? you’re a fantastic bunch of people. you’re wonderful, talented, kind and creative. you don’t go around hating others for their inbox count! nobody does! don’t allow anyone to think it’s okay for them to have a problem with your inbox, and for the love of god, stop thinking your mutuals are a pack of wolves who’ll rip you to shreds for having more than zero memes in your inbox at a time!

you are all amazing, and wonderful, and talented, but 2023 is the year we start developing a little more self-confidence! doesn’t matter if you have five or fifty or five million memes in your inbox! you’re not a bad person for having them there, because you’re not a good person for having none there at all! the things that make you good are the things that were always there, regardless of that inbox. okay? now go reblog some memes. nobody in the world with an ounce of decency and good sense will say a thing against you for it, that’s a promise! and if anyone does say a thing against you for it, that just means they’re dummies.

#OOC. #PSA. #( it makes me v sad to see you guys talking like you're at work ) #( this is a hobby ) #( you are here to be happy and chilled ) #( idk when we became so anxious about stuff here ) #( but i can guarantee you ) #( the good friends won't give two craps if you have a bazillion memes or not ) #( we're just people having fun ) #( let's try and remember that from now on! ) #( i will fight ur insecurities and ur enemies in the car park of a tesco express ) #( except u don't have enemies ) #( except ur insecurities ) #( okay i'm cold now peace out besties be good drink water unclench ur jaw )

[actual-sleeping-beauty]

I having lots of emotions about not graduating this spring this evening and I don't appreciate it.

#my friend just got offered a national parks job #which is what he's wanted for years #we took a class together two falls ago and he was talking about it then #and i am so so happy for him #he has worked his ass off and deserves it #but i am also so sad for me #i feel like i've lost so much time to being sick and like i haven't accomplished the things i wanted to in college #but everyone else around me is #national parks jobs. fulbright finalists. grad school applications. editor of the school paper. starting a band. getting engaged soon. #idk i know this will pass and five years from now this will not seem like a big deal #but right now it is so heavy #and also i'm pretty lonely in my real life right now #my roommate spends so much time with her boyfriend who lives an hour away #my other friends are so busy i rarely see them #i don't live on campus anymore so i don't have a nearby community #i get most of my social interaction with my residents at work #and i love them but i do desperately need other kinds of social interaction #anyway everyone ignore this

[victimized-martyr]

Ok, for the ask thing, hope this isn’t too much, 24, 11, 13. If you feel like answering, thanks! You have fun posts/thoughts about SP

24 and 13 are answered :)

11. Is there a popular character you like that the fandom doesn't? Why?

I know that the younger (more active) fans dislike Cartman, and tend to exclude him in works. But idk if that alone makes him unpopular? He's definitely the most controversial. Against my better judgement, I do indeed, like Cartman.

He's not a character you're supposed to love. He reflects the biases and the bigotry we're all capable of, and like most sociopaths in media, he's extravagant, loves to entertain, and is charming. His saving grace is that he's only a little boy, an animated one at that, and that degree of separation to his many many crimes makes it easy for us to laugh at him. That's another thing about Cartman-- he's genuinely funny. Trey Parker puts his all into even the most offensive jokes and he finds a way to tailor them to a character's personality. I can't believe it, but I love singing "too many minorities" and "safe space" to myself while working... it's so catchy.

I used to despise Cartman and found him one note (this was watching bits of season 4 and 6. I was bareelly getting into sp. It wasn't until I saw scott tenorman that I sat down to reevaluate him) but after seeing the episodes dedicated to highlighting just how messed up he is under the surface, what drove him to act the way he does, and the few snippets we see that he's truly capable of change (and it's shocking that according to trey, it doesn't take a lot to turn Cartman around.)

He fascinates me. There hasn't been a villain/ main character quite like him before or since.

#asks #south park #eric cartman #cartman #and he's a deeply complex character too so when I talk about him I feel like I haven't said all there is to say #I could talk about how episodes like Gay Fish show there's a specific line of logic he follows #I could talk about 1% where he can't let himself feel ashamed and let go of his stuffed animals #he has to make himself suffer a story of murder and betrayal orchestrated by his vengeful doll #he has to make it entertaining. a Whole Thing #same with 'losing' liane. he can't whine and beg her to stay. he has to drive up the housing market to insane degrees until they're both #put in danger #he doesn't feel sad that he doesn't have a dad. he pretends to be sick on father's day and makes his dolls say he's awesome and kewl #I could talk about the SA trauma he went thru and how it forms his view on sex and this is told to us thru a funny back n forth by kyman #in tfbw #there's just. WAY too much to talk about with this character #and he's so unpredictable. I have no idea where his character is going next season (two months babyyyyyy) #and it's interesting for a character who acts shameless there's... a LOT of shame boiling inside. Shame that he isn't even aware of #that i'm not sure if he'll ever LET himself be aware of #shame is such an important part of his ch is why I feel he's a 3 but i wont get into ennea (yet) ghjfkdh

[moonchild-in-blue]

make yourself a musical fruit salad using songs by your favorite artist. choose a song to go with each fruit you select (you need at least five fruits, but i shall not police your fruit selection-- make the tastiest, grooviest fruit salad your heart could possibly desire🖤)

Oh my worm, this is such an interesting question! Thank you Em!! 💙

Okay, so my two favourite artists would probably be Linkin Park and BTS, for very similar close-to-my-heart reasons. And since they are WILDLY different sound-wise, I will give you two different fruit salads hehehe

First, the fruits!

Orange 🍊 -> obvious choice, zesty and sweet, brings everyone together with its juice; a refreshing favourite

Apple 🍎 -> solid, classic, reliable ; probably an oldie throwback

Mango 🥭 -> smooth, sexy lady with a groove; perhaps slightly unexpected

Strawberry 🍓 -> tangy, slightly acidic; a bittersweet one

Grapes 🍇 -> underrated bops bursting with flavour once you give them a try; a fun one

Melon 🍈 -> my favourite fruit so my personal favourite

Now for the salads:

Linkin Park Fruit Salad:

🍊 In The End - the song that gets everyone turned up, she's the mainstream queen for a reason!!

🍎 Numb - had to get this one here as well because, really, you can't leave it out

🥭 Lost In The Echo - Living Things is a very important album to me (and my second favourite from them), and I do NOT see enough conversation about it. Lost In The Echo is a fenomenal song, and probably one of my favourite Chester x Mike moments

🍓 The Messenger - just typing the name of this song got the water fountains going. "When life leaves us blind, love keeps us kind" is a lyric that I will carry with me until the day I die

🍇 In Between - for the sake of "underrated" I purposely chose something from after the first 2 albums. In Between is criminally underrated imo, which is a shame since it's such a sweet song sung by Mike (which is rare since he hardly ever gets a solo song). Bonus underrated AND fun - When They Come For Me

🍈 Breaking The Habit - I could go on and on about why I love this song so so much, but I don't want to get sad. 13 yo me made it this far thanks to her 💙

BTS Fruit Salad:

🍊 Fire - THE hype song ever, it's physically impossible to be sad listening to her, helloooo 🔥 🔥

🍎 Spring Day - the fan favourite, of course I had to get her in here. Queen of the charts

🥭 Autumn Leaves & Home - this is my salad so I'll put extra mango if I want. Both of these are SO sexy in their own way, and since they're pretty far apart it'd only be fair to get them both in here

🍓 We Are Bulletproof : The Eternal - at first I thought about either 2! 3! or Young Forever, but We Are Bulletproof holds such a special, heavy meaning, considering the time it was released, and the overall theme of the album. I can't really listen to it without getting all choked up 🥺

🍇 Hip-Hop Lover & We On - putting 2 songs again because I can. These are VERY old BTS songs, and still remain some of my favourites. It's a shame so many newer fans outright refuse to listen to their older, not-so-polished stuff, cus it's fantastic really

🍈 Run - my mostest absolute Bangtan favourite, she's beauty, she's grace, she's so fun and devastating and aaaaaaa. AMAZING era that was, superior mv, just overall wowowowow

#this was SO HARD to choose omg I feel like a bad parent for leaving so many great songs out #kinda telling that most of these songs are sad/have sad lyrics #the emo girl is very much alive even if she branches out genres lmao #thinking about LP for so long made me incredibly sad ngl. it's hard to listen to them still #ANYWAYS #this was genuinely such a fantastic ask to answer omg i wanna do this to every single band I listen to wowowow #I'm pulling a uno reverse card and running to your blog with this question #thank you for this! sorry it's so long! i can't shut up about my favs!!!! #darya answers #darya's mixtape #linkin park #bts

[spacemancraig1111111111]

i want to follow more people and see more content i like, pls hmu if you hate popular ships/like rare ships. i want to be in the fandom again but i can never find any content i like :/

i also want to follow more crenny/dip blogs. and bratters <3

or if you post a lot of pip or nichole pls hmu. they are my faves <3

#idk this fandom makes me sad and it makes me nervous bc i see death threats and hate comments :(( #And i would like to make friends but i'm shy ☺️ #I prob look up content once every two years bc it makes me uncomfortablw bc people are mean 😔</3 #south park #crenny #sp crenny #sp dip #dip #pip pirrup #sp pip #pip pirrip #nichole daniels #sp nichole #bratters #sp bratters #sp bradley #rare ships #kevin stoley #//i'm mostly just talking about creek i want nothing to do w that part of the fandom #but i also don't rly like style or fanon bunny//but idc i'll still reblog if i like it #sp tokole #tokole #token x nichole #ignore tags i just want to follow more blogs #anti creek #anti-creek

[slippery-minghus]

i want to paint, but autism is hungry and needs to be fed 8hrs of skyrim a day

#i'm trying to set up to paint bc i want to!! but every bone in my body says no #i'm gonna feel sad and disappointed in myself if i don't paint because i want to actually *do* something #and not spend this whole weekend having barely even scraped the surface of what i truly genuinely wanted to do #and instead just burn away the time looking at skyrim #i'm not even really having all that much fun playing it!!! but i can't break away from it #which isn't always a bad thing especially on week days but? on a long weekend where i want to enjoy myself?? #and i can't because my brain won't let me??? not fun!!! #painting is so boring and understimulating and my brain is way too foggy right now to think about mixing colors and layering #(secretly i don't even want to paint i just want to feel satisfied at creating a thing!!) (my brain is too fried to hold a thought long #enough to do the physical action of painting! it sounds wayyyy too daunting and taxing right now!!) #but if i spend this whole weekend having sat on my ass doing nothing will i feel rested? no!!! #but if i spend all my energy doing A Hobby will i feel rested? also no!!! but then i'll at least have something to show for it #i'm riling myself up and i feel like i ALMOST could make myself paint right now #but as soon as i think of what it will feel like to sit here and focus and move my hands to do the painting my brain screams NO #and sure i can argue i'll feel better if i do it i'll be glad if i do it and it'll be easier once i start #but this isn't the walk i took yesterday (that i was glad i took but still felt like garbage after) #i WANTED to take a walk. i was just struggling with the level of exertion i could manage (walk my neighborhood or drive 30min to the park?) #my brain is latching on to 8hrs a day of skyrim bc that's all i have the energy for #work has been killing me #and it's so painfully bright in my apartment but i can't close the curtains bc i need all the sunlight i can get #i WANT to have the energy to paint and enjoy it but i just don't.... (but i feel like if i Give In to the exhaustion then i'm #no better than my mom who just sits around all day refusing to live her life bc she refuses to take care of herself. #and calls sitting perfectly still—instead of actuvely managing her condition—'not letting her disability win') #(so i don't want to be that. i don't want to waste away like my mom bemoaning how i Just Can't when i totally can!!! #i could push through this exhaustion and hype myself up but the only thing i'm going to be thinking about is Am I Done Yet? Can I Rest Now?) #and i can't convince myself that 'just paint for 30min' is worth it bc mixing paint and setting up is Just So Much #enough that 'just 30min' is a lie and not a legitimate out if i need it to be #i need to commit or not do it. and i just can't......... my eyes hurt and i'm tured and i just wanna play my game #and all this indecision and feeling like i'm wasting time is just making me want to cry. im gonna close the curtains and boot up the xbox;( #personal

[azol-otl]

So while I know that asking dc to make decent Jason Todd content is futile at best and a monkey paw’s curse at worst, there are some ideas I wish that they’d explore.

Imagine, a story that shows us more of pre-homeless Jason’s life and contrasting that with current Jason’s isolation. No overt tragedy. No focusing on Catherine’s addiction or Willis’ abuse/crimes. Just a normal ass day where the angst is created by the juxtaposition of happy baby Jason and current depressed Jason. Like I love angst and tragedy, but sometimes instead of showing us how fucked up his life is, why not just show us some good days and make the reader sad via fluff.

This is going to be kinda long and rambly so I’m putting the rest under a cut.

Have the story follow Jason on a day off. Just straight up no vigilante work. No costumes, no planning, no crime. 

When he wakes up, have him already be kind of melancholic (and for a free fanservice shot because it’s a Bat comic and those are a requirement now I guess) and make sure to show the date as May 10th *.  There is a message from Stephanie on his phone telling him, “Thanks for agreeing to cover me on Sunday.”

Have us follow him to a corner store that he used to go to when he was a kid. Have him be known as Cathy’s Boy instead of Willis’ kid. Fuck Willis we’ve had enough of him, show us Catherine’s relationship with Park Row. Have the shop owners call Jason “Flaquito”, because we’ve seen the Harlowe’s call him “Skinny Jason Todd” and nicknames never die. As George Lopez once put it, “You shit in your pants one time, you’re Caca for the rest of your life. It could be a grown man, fucking Caca. “Guess who’s getting married.” “Who?” “Caca.”  

Have it so that not everyone knows what happened to the Todd family (even in tight knit communities you have to remember that people are self-centered and sometimes someone just disappears and you hope that it was because they moved. Plus would you think that the kid you once knew got adopted by a billionaire? Also, despite everyone making the Waynes celebrities, I can assure you that most people don’t know shit about them.) and they’re happy to see Jason again. 

Have Jason pick up ingredients for a recipe he remembers Catherine making when they had money (because I don’t know how to tell you guys this, but when you’re poor you still splurge on some things. Money is always tight and money is never a guarantee so you need to enjoy things when you’re able to). Maybe she learned it from some old neighbors. Maybe Jason knew these old neighbors who moved away from Gotham. (Give the boy some fucking bonds that didn’t end in tragedy dc!)

 Have Jason go to a family selling flowers by the road. It’s a different family then the one he remembers, but over a decade later and there’s still people here selling flowers. He specifically buys some pink carnations with a flashback showing Jason ask Catherine for her favorite colors so she could get the prettiest flowers. She says favorite colors are pink and yellow but she doesn’t like yellow flowers because, “Yellow is too depressing a color for flowers, Jay.” **

On his way back home Jason passes by a group of people having a party in a small plaza near the apartments. There’s a bunch of people dancing but it seems to mostly be middle-aged women having a blast with one another. Have a flashback to the exact same women but younger dancing with Catherine who encourages Jason to dance with them because “Women love a man who takes them dancing.” 

Have Willis be someone who used to take Catherine dancing because my god do authors try to fit Jason into this toxic-masculine role (which they can I guess) but if Latinos, a group of people who are entrenched in a toxic-masculine mindset, still have some non-violent or oppressive ways of expressing themselves physically (dancing) then so can Jason. Please let me give my son some sort of physical way to destress that isn’t tied to cape-life (I know Dana called Jason a shit dancer but here’s the thing, you can be good at dancing some good things and horrible at others. The amount of people I know who can fucking slay at rumba, samba, bachata, cumbia, etc. but are lost as hell when it comes to American music is staggering. Even more when they only know how to dance with a partner). Plus there needs to be a reason why Catherine stayed with Willis pre-Jason, might as well make him be a bomb-ass dancer. 

Jason gets roped into dancing with the group of aunties because you can’t say No to aunties it's against the law.  Have him be a little clumsy before getting back into the hang of it (again flashbacks of a happy Jason dancing with the same tias because if there’s anything a tia loves, it is a polite (which we’ve already had confirmation that Jason was a polite boy from the Harlowes) boy who listens to them and can dance) and have the exact woman he danced with as a kid be the one he’s dancing with now but years older.

Just keep going through his day and have him try and connect with his old neighborhood in memory of his mom. Let him bring his walls down for one day.

The story would end with simultaneous panels of child and adult Jason putting on music (with child Jason putting on a CD while adult Jason is using his phone) before cooking dinner with the words of Juan Gabriel’s Amor Eterno playing in the background as we slowly zoom out.***

Some info for things I didn’t really explain:

* May 10th is Mother’s Day for Mexico and Guatemala but I’ve seen other Latinos adopt it. My own personal experiences with this day are that several working class Latina moms would take this day off to celebrate and then pick up extra shifts on American Mother’s Day so they can make more money by working all day while other moms try to get the day off. I believe Catherine would do the same so she could spend the day with Jason and not lose money.

** This quote is straight from my mom’s mouth. Yellow flowers aren’t generally seen as depressing, but cempasúchil (Mexican Marigolds) are famously used for Día de los Muertos so some people associate yellow flowers with funerals.

Catherine’s favorite color being pink is also a little nod to fandom’s take on Talia being like a mother figure to Jason. Since her main outfit for a good while was a pink jumpsuit I made it Catherine’s favorite color so Jason can honor them both in one action.

*** Amor Eterno is a famous song created in 1984 by Juan Gabriel about his mother after her passing. It is an incredibly famous song and one that is played both at funerals and Mother’s Day.

#this mother's day issue would be very latino but I am Latino and I don't know how non-Latinos celebrate Mother's day #yes this is me pushing my Latino Jason Todd agenda #sometimes you get tired of tragedy and melancholic nostalgia is enough to get you sad #listen we barely know shit about Catherine and I'm so tired of focusing solely on the fact that she was addicted to heroin #there's no way she lived at least a decade in Park Row and not make an impact on *somebody* #so while this still puts the focus on Jason it at least gives some insight into what Catherine and Jason's lives were like #Give me the forbidden Catherine Lore dc #Jason Todd #Catherine Todd

[trans-xianxian]

having trauma and making new friends is like. before I say this it's funny. it's not sad it's funny you can laugh I'm making a joke

#every time I make a dead mom joke 😭 #but also last night when my housemates and I were talking about all the things wrong w my room/the house #but I just like don't care #and they were like you really were the perfect person for this room haha #and before doing the 'well I was homeless as a child so you can really only go up from there. can't really complain' bit #I had to be like. this is not sad this is funny I'm making a joke its Not Sad #funnily enough I now live like. two blocks away from a place we used to park all the time lmao #theres definitely a place and a time to joke about trauma but for me its like #well if its not funny then it's sad #and I don't want to be sad about it anymore #so lets make it funny #and I get to because it happened to me #anyway my dead mom and childhood homelessness jokes are Hilarious #ghost posts #text

[smallblueandloud]

at some point do i just start. posting the almost 10k i have of the aos ds9 au despite the fact that i'm pretty sure it's never going to be fully finished?

the format/tone lends itself pretty well to a bunch of tiny chapters so i think it would be fun to post it that way...?

#i would still love to finish the 3rd chapter of the dog park meetcute au because like. it's basically done? #so i'm probably going to wait for that one #but the ds9 au is like less than 2/3 of the way done and it's probably never gonna get much further #i don't like having unfinished wips up but like. you're a candle in the window also exists and will also probably never be finished :( #that fic is my baby so i'm sad about it but it's the truth :( #sb and l rambles #sb and l is writing #aos ds9 au #i just!! AAA i have so much drive to write/share writing these days and NO TIME AT ALL #this is why we write oneshots. i say having fully planned the ds9 au to be a oneshot even though it again is [checks notes] 10k

[yesyourstalker]

Taka: BOO

Neta: *gasp* COD fuck! takaaaaaaa! Mmmmmmm hey, You scared the shit out of me haha. Don't. fucking. do. that.

Taka: You know you're so cute when you're startled

Neta: yeah.... I get scared easily. What are you doing? in my store..... while I'm trying to close.

Taka: Oh you know I just I just came here to look around and stuff. One of my piano strings isn't working so........ Why not visit this lovely store and see if they have anything to offer me and maybe chat with the store owner for a bit. Maybe catch up from where we last left off

Neta: well, unfortunately we're closed and we don't have anything piano related besides a keyboard so you know you might need to go to a different store, maybe online get on your computer in your own home.

Taka: You play hard to get. I see that and I respect that but I'm just going to lay it down on the table. I think we have something

Neta: oh no no no we're not doing this

Taka: I was never really into the base player. You know they tend to be wallflowers and always so melodramatic

Neta: cod fuck off

Taka: but you......You're different....... What does your knuckle say 'back line' I'd love to know the history behind that tattoo

Neta: I was a backliner. Don't touch me

Taka: You're so bold. You're confident you're so extroverted but so down to earth you intrigue me. I want to know more about you

Neta: you don't

Taka: Your interests your passions, your goals what makes you tick. who is Neta Vern's . I want to see you again

Neta: no

Taka: Maybe make this a normal thing you and I. This could be love that I'm feeling.

Neta: ...................................................................If you knew the things that I've done, The things that I've seen and the environment that I came from you wouldn't be in here. Matter of fact you wouldn't even look at me the same way....... the Neta that you saw in that bar was just drunk and bored. And I guarantee that you would not love me if you truly knew me. You would be forced to love every part of me including the broken and ugly parts. Daddy issues, night terrors, flash backs, prolonged grief so much shit! I know the minute I have a panic attack or an episode you're out of the fucking door! The second I start feeling survivor's guilt and is unable to get out of bed are you still going to love me? When I can't eat without being fed are you going to still love me then? When I'm unable to take care of myself ?when I start smelling like sweat and pee because I stopped showering and catatonic?!?! You still going to think I'm intriguing when my beak is fucking yellow cuz I haven't brushed it in weeks!!? huh!? Are you going to drive my daughter to her mom's house for a while because her dad is suddenly scared to go outside the house and provide for her!!? When I have to be physically dragged out of my house to a hospital because I became a danger to others and myself!!??! Are you going to stay?!! Are you going to love than!?? Are you still going to see this confident extroverted fun-loving fuck you made up in your head?!? Are you still going to see that person?!!!

Taka: h-

Neta: you don't need to answer that because I already know the answer. You're not. You're not going to love me! You're never going to love me! and you're not able to love me! Why the fuck would I believe someone like you would!?! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY STORE!

Mhai: ...................hey boss.......you ok? You seem to be really upset right now.

Neta: yeah! I'm fine heh.....*Sniff* yeah uh... wow! Heh that was a lot. *Sniff*..... I'm sorry you had to witness that... and hear that. Cod some of that was embarrassing. why did I say that? ...*sniff*...I don't even know where that came from. *Sigh* I'm gonna........ I'm gonna go smoke in bathroom maybe call my therapist. I'll come back when I stop shaking....... hehehe *sniff* Cod he's such a pretentious piece of of shit. I don't even know how he did that he just triggered something I don't know what.

Mahi: do you want me to fist fight him in the parking lot?

Neta: You're just asking me that so you can have an excuse to do it.

Mahi belongs to @fish-at-fish-fish-resort

#wow he is not ok #but yeah no neta has gone through a lot of relationships and not a lot lasted so love is a strong word #he hates it when it's used so loosely #after squid squad he hit the lowest point of his life.....so far #He likes to keep himself busy to distract himself from his thoughts and inner feelings of guilt and loss #ikkan is one of the rare ones who stayed when shit really hit the fan which is why he's so ride or die for him #He's mentally stable at the moment. he's just very emotional and sensitive to certain subjects #they did fight in the parking lot #he only smokes when he's really upset #I watched the death of evangelion so now I'm writing more sad shit. I deleted most of it but now I'm back at it again #I'll write something funny later maybe neta bugging mhai about mizole

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #storytime sexcapades #sadness is canceled. met a really cute cool dude visiting town for work and stayed up all night talking and uhhh. other things. #I really am so ready to move. I wanna be in a college town with community music groups and a larger visible queer population ugh. #anyway. the more I experiment the more I realize I'm actually definitely trans and I would like certain bits lopped off 😕 #I will literally never shut up about the connection between sex and gender. I'm sure there's some shortsightedness to it #because I'm speaking largely from my own experience with it. so obviously there's an implicit perspective bias there #but like. turns out when you're dissociated from your body it can be hard to enjoy certain body activities. #I'm mostly over showers now. it's way easier to see myself the way I want to be. still things I want fixed. but things are livable. #but yeh. sex is difficult when you're at war with your skin. #also. why do people do poppers. your head spin for a minute and you smell organic solvent for a while. my head spins all the time #like. “it's just like sniffing glue” bro why do people sniff glue I don't get that either“. #“it's like being drunk for a short time” I don't get why people do that either. #throwback to that time someone said I needed to not become an alcoholic and I just pointed to my four month old vodka bottle in the fridge. #idk. there's a use for it. alcohol is a CNS depressant and I love it for that. but only sometimes is that necessary. #anyway. I'm curious to try other substances but I fully expect to walk away going “eh. I don't get what the deal is with that”. #but we keep doing new things. for science. to learn about the world. and to become a more understanding person. understanding is everything #anyway. cool people do exist. I literally said that thing about not meeting people I like and the universe decided to be a joker about it #did I already say that we stayed up all night? sitting on the trunk of you car watching the stars on a warm desert night is a good vibe. #I like getting out of the city and finding a patch of desert to park in and just bathe in the night air. and it's better with company #the end. bye. I have an age of empires game to finish cause I paused it to go meet up with him. and now I have to finish it #ALSO. yeah I know.. vodka in the fridge. I've started putting it in the freezer just cause there's not as much room in the fridge

[wild-at-mind]

Any time a bird is in captivity of any kind without fail there’s someone who shows up and goes ‘:( so sad, it should be FREE!’ Which, I’m very aware of the problems with cagebirds, but someone does this every time including when the bird in question is very clearly a genetic freak of some sort. For example, a rescue aviary near me used to have a lovely fantail dove, who according to volunteers was extremely friendly and loved cuddles and sitting on people’s heads. She’s passed away now, sadly, but on the aviary facebook there’s an old video of her and someone has put one of those comments along the lines of she should be in the wild. But she was so visibly a product of human selective breeding it was unreal. She had a huge, bulgy chest and her neck was bent so far back that the resting position of her head was on her back. If her eyes weren’t on the sides of her head she wouldn’t have been able to see over her own chest. Not all fantail doves look like this, but this one was so extreme looking that they had a little sign on the aviary reassuring people she was alright. I just wondered where exactly this commenter imagined she would belong if all the birds in the aviary were released into the wild and somehow back into their ideal habitats. There’s nowhere in the world outside of in the care of humans where a bird looking like that would be remotely ok.

#i'm going to start saying 'oh how sad #it should be FREE :( ' when i see a dog #honestly i miss this sweet dove so much #you may wonder what her quality of life was like and tbh all signs pointed to 'fine' #pigeon fanciers and breeders of some poultry like the chickens with vestigial wings on their feet and those weird long tall ducks #get less scrutiny than dog breeders re health problems but also we are all just used to regularly encountering dogs that are genetic messes #with a bird it's a bit of a shock at first #but it's worth also remembering that the farm animals we eat are also genetic freaks #my only point really is that people are very very weird about birds in captivity of any kind #even a rescue aviary- they have 2 incidents in the past 20 years of people realeasing all the birds and then guess what they died #because most are tropical species and need the heater #they are as happy as possible in that aviary i think #many common cagebird species are flock birds and in this aviary they have their flock and social interaction #it's big enough for flying and they have loads of enrichment and can make as much noise as they want as it's in a big park #in a perfect world no one would breed genetic freak animals and there wouldn't be tonens of uncared for cagebirds that need homes #but we don't live in that world #forgot to say that the reason i say the dove's quality of life was probably fine was because of her behaviour and feather condition

[hyunjinz]

ahhh.....

#so #after a day boys planet ended i decided that i wanted to watch it lmao #ha.... i have so so many emotions and thoughts rn as i finished it #i actually predicted 9/8 of the final lineup lmao #and 9/6 made it out of my top 9 picks #first of all i am incredibly so very very sad about hanbin #park hanbin i mean #he's been my number since the very beginning #the most surprising part is that yujin made it at 9th jiwoong 8th and that hanbin was not number 1 #I have such bittersweet emotions hsdhhd #i actually really like this lineup and i wanna support this group #so i really hope their debut album will be good #ahhh hanbin .. ... I'll need some time to recover sbbdbd #I'm also sad for keita #i accidentally spoiled that he's not gonna make it but he genuinely deserved it 😭 #ahhh 😂😂😂 #idk just wanted to let all this out of my system haha #also I'm so happy i can finally open social media jshdbdbd #boys planet #personal