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#i'm sending you more hugs 💕
alexcutecolly · 3 months
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oh no I hope ur ok n you feel better soon!! get good sleep too ok??
Oh thank you so much dear anon 😭😭 I just got home and my head hurts, I'll probably go to sleep earlier tonight to rest more ;-; I should feel better tomorrow though, hopefully at least
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heffrondriving · 2 years
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I'M BEING VERY BRAVE AND NORMAL ABOUT THIS BTW!!!!!
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coffeeshib · 2 years
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So I’m not asking anything, I’m here to state something. I wish I could put things into words as you do. You my friend are quite literally one of the best writers I’ve found in my life. The way you write emotion, it’s something that makes you stop and say to yourself “ that’s exactly how I feel, someone finally gets it” it’s like a sense of relief. I just needed to tell you this, I honestly don’t care if you have ten thousand people telling you this every day, I am one of those ten thousand people because they see how talented you are. I wish I could hug you or something. You literally touched my heart. You will be someone I think about at night. I will remember you. I really wish this becomes more because I know you can do great things with this. Like go back and reread one of your works and act like you didn’t write it, and think about how freaking good that work is. I inspire to be like you. I hope you live a full life of joy and happiness. Xx
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joelscruff · 11 months
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feelings on fire (joel miller x f!reader) 18+ PART SEVEN
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previous chapters | welp. it's here. this one is a DOOZY, and i'm so sorry. i never expected it to get this long but oh well!!! go grab a snack and get settled cause this one is kinda wild. love u guys sm. i proofread this very quickly so i apologize if there's any mistakes!! and here's my kofi if you'd like to leave a tip 💕 chapter summary: the pressure is building in more ways than one. rating: 18+ explicit warnings: age difference (joel is in his 50s, reader is in her early 20s), innocent/inexperienced reader, praise kink, dirty talk, pet names, mentions of religion, catholic guilt, sexting, n00ds, oral (m receiving), lap-sitting, thigh riding, alcohol, lemme know if i missed any! word count: 15.6k ao3
You're beginning to learn that Joel runs hot and cold.
There have been moments with him, intimate and special and warm, moments that make you feel light on your feet and send butterflies wilding through your stomach. Moments where he's open and present and wants all his attention to be on you, on your body, your pleasure. His touch sets you alight, his words send tingles down your spine.
And then weekdays happen and you start second guessing yourself all over again.
On Sunday you'd attended church with your parents, another attempt at appeasing your mother in lieu of all the lies and deceit. You've only gone to a select few services since you came home, something you know they've been silently judging you for and just waiting to hold above your head. Admittedly you'd been afraid of bumping into people you knew, having to switch on your teenage persona of Good Catholic Girl™ and lie through your teeth about how good it feels to be back home again. Luckily in the few services you'd attended, you'd only run into some elderly family friends, managing to avoid anyone you went to high school with.
Your luck had to run out at some point, though. This service you'd been accosted by none other than Bethany, one of your childhood friends who you'd practically left in the dust when you'd gone away for college. Her friendship was always full of judgement, perfection, and not to mention heaps of Catholic guilt. She'd taken one look at you, appraising you up and down as if assessing you for imperfections, then pulled you into a tight hug.
"It's so good see you," she'd said when she'd pulled back, a wide - and borderline frightening - grin plastered on her face, "My momma told me you were back, thought I woulda heard from you by now!"
Your mother, standing beside you in your pew, had furrowed her brow at this, clearly confused. You hadn't understood her reaction completely until Bethany had headed off to go say hi to someone else.
"I thought you had lunch with her and Alice the other week," she'd murmured softly to you under her breath, giving you an accusatory look, "Said you'd be helping them out over the summer. That's what you told me, anyway."
Fuck.
"O-oh, right," you'd had no idea what else to say other than that, biting down on your lip and staring straight ahead as the service began. She hadn't said anything else about it, but you'd sat in discomfort and anxiety for the next hour.
In a panic, you'd found Bethany after the service and quickly asked if she needed any extra help at Sunday School, to which she'd responded with enthusiasm - a little too much - that they always needed extra hands on Thursdays to help with lesson planning. You'd jumped at the chance, telling her you'd be there.
That night you'd texted Joel. You hadn't heard from him all day despite it being a weekend, and part of you had been hoping you might go over and see him once your parents were asleep.
guess who's volunteering at church now? this idiot.
You'd expected words of comfort, maybe a joke, at least something that would make you feel better about the situation. However, his response to yours had been brief, short, simple:
Rough. Get some sleep x
This trend of short responses has only continued throughout the rest of the week. He's distant when you text him, responds with a few words at best, short and simple and almost like an entirely different person. It's hard to believe it's the same man who whispers good girl in your ear and tells you how well you're doing, how wet you are, how pretty you look. His texts are some ghostly version of him, constantly fading in and out, barely showing interest or desire - that is, if he texts you at all.
It makes your skin itch, sends your insecurities into a tailspin. Why does this always seem to happen? You can't make heads or tails of it - you know he's busy, know that his job takes a lot out of him, and yet you can't help but feel that there's something more he's not telling you. He'd told you on his back deck all about how he wasn't very happy at his job, how he'd prefer to be retired by now, living life on his own terms - so why can't he just do that? It's clearly taking a toll on him, and while part of you feels empathetic and yearns to comfort him, another part feels angry, irritated.
You'd gone to your friends with these concerns, hoping for some sort of answer or solution to the problem. Instead, they'd been more sympathetic to Joel's plight than yours.
you gotta remember you're not in a relationship with him babe
right!! men are v simple creatures. they see things black & white. ur his fuck buddy and he prob doesn't rly want it to go beyond that.
now THAT'S going too far. she's more than his fuck buddy definitely. he wouldn't have told her his whole life story last weekend if that were true.
telling her he had a fucked up childhood isn't necessarily his whole life story. most guys had shitty childhoods lbr
but he opened up!!!!! fuck buddies don't do that.
exactly
i wish you guys were here :(
i'm honestly 5 secs away from booking a flight to texas bestie. gotta use my dad's frequent flier miles somehow.
--
"My friend Tasha is coming to visit this weekend," you tell your mom on Wednesday evening with a smile, turning your phone toward her to show the Airbnb you'll be staying at, "We're gonna stay at this little bungalow, have a girls' weekend."
Her brow furrows, "Why can't Tasha stay here?"
Because Tasha would terrify you, you want to say, because Tasha doesn't wear pants unless absolutely necessary. Instead you just smile again and say, "I think a change of scenery would be good for me, it'll be like a mini vacation. Plus there's a hot tub."
"Now that's something we need," she turns back to her book with a shake of her head, "I swear, your father is more interested in buying that boat we'll never use instead of something new for the backyard." You hadn't been asking for her permission, but her indifference sends a wave of relief through you; you've still been trying to be on your absolute best behavior lately to make up for the lies.
You head out to the backyard and seat yourself in a lounge chair by the pool, unlocking your phone again and swiping to your last conversation with Joel from last night.
hope you had a good day :)
I'm sure yours was better. Sleep well x
Curt and to the point, not at all what you'd wanted him to reply with. You recall one of your first phone conversations, the one where you'd been experiencing the same lack of interest in his texts, what he'd said to you: Don't think for one second that I don't think about you. But how can you not? How are you supposed to feel desired when he's being like this?
can you call me tonight?
You try not to wait too long before biting the bullet, not wanting to talk yourself out of it, but you do stare at the message with your finger hovering over the send button for longer than you really need to. The sound of the back door sliding open forces you to send it, locking your phone again as your mother walks over and seats herself beside you in another chair.
"It's nice to see you wearing that again," she says with a nod to your chest, referring to your crucifix - after wearing it again last weekend you'd thought that keeping it on might please her. "You're starting to really settle in here again, aren't you?"
You try not to grimace, "Yeah, it's nice being home."
She leans back in her chair, letting the suns rays hit her for a little bit without speaking. You sit there waiting for her to say something else, discomfort flooding through you. You're reminded of how easy it was to sit with Joel in his backyard last weekend, how little pressure there was to put up any kind of front - sitting here with your mother is the exact opposite.
"So, you lied to me," she finally says, voice quiet.
Your eyes widen and you sit up a bit, turning to her with panic already rising in your throat, "Wh-what do you mean?"
She doesn't turn to look at you, continuing to stare at the sky, eyes covered by her comically large sunglasses, "You know what I mean."
You sit there, staring at her with a mix of confusion and fear. There's no way she knows about Joel, how could she know? Who would have told her? You wonder if perhaps one of her neighborhood friends saw you leaving his house, saw you in his car... but the guise of lessons is your cover now, so how would any of that point to your relationship?
Some relationship, you can't help but think to yourself, based entirely on sex and only communication on the weekends.
"Bethany and Alice," your mom finally states, and you feel the panic in the pit of your stomach loosen immediately - oh.
"Mom," you say immediately, shaking your head, "I-I know. I'm sorry. I know I told you we met up but..." you bite your lip, trying to come up with some kind of excuse but coming up empty.
Instead, you do something that surprises you entirely - you tell the truth. Or at least... half of it.
"I really feel like my friendship with them has passed," you admit with a frown, "I'm... I'm different than I was when I left, you know that, don't you? I'm sure you've noticed."
She's still not looking at you but you catch her nodding slowly, thoughtfully.
"I'm sorry I lied but... I didn't want to disappoint you. And I didn't want you to worry about me being alone all the time. I'm actually rarely ever alone at college so it's been nice to have some time to myself," you smile, thinking of the girls in your group chat constantly waiting for new updates, "Having lunch with two people I haven't talked to in years just... didn't seem appealing to me. I have different friends now, you know? I'm older, people outgrow each other."
"Friends like Tasha," your mom states, bitterness in her voice, "Tasha who you don't even want me to meet."
You make a face, "Mom..."
She puts her hands up in defeat, shaking her head, "It's fine. You can do what you want and so can she," the words are drenched in judgement, "But you should remember that there are rules for staying here, young lady. And honesty is one of those rules."
You take a deep breath, swinging your legs around the edge of the chair and placing your arms on your knees, your face in your hands. You're so close to snapping back at her, making a comment that'll surely start an argument, but you shove it back down as best you can, counting to ten in your head.
"I'm sorry," you finally say through gritted teeth, "It won't happen again."
"It better not." She stands up then, disappears from the chair as quickly as she'd settled in it. You watch as she walks to the back door again, reaches for the handle.
Your mouth can't stop itself.
"Have you told Dad about my guitar lessons yet?"
She freezes, turns and stares at you for a moment without saying anything, then opens the door and heads back inside, slamming it behind her.
Checkmate.
--
I will when I get home.
Your anxiety is through the roof as you pace back and forth in your bedroom after darkness has fallen, freshly showered and pampered and already out of distractions. Without really thinking much about it, you pull Joel's flannel from under your mattress and wrap it around your shoulders, breathing him in as you sit on your bed and try your best not to keep checking your phone. When it finally vibrates you're not even embarrassed when you pick up on the first ring.
"Hey," you murmur, settling into your sheets and closing your eyes, "Is everything okay?"
"With me?" he asks, voice tired and gruff, "Thought it'd be the other way around."
Your brow furrows, "What do you mean?"
"Thought you'd wanna talk about this church volunteerin' stuff," he's moving around as he talks - you hear the sound of a cupboard banging and the clang of a glass against a countertop.
You don't speak for a moment, listening to the sound of liquid being poured into a cup and Joel taking a swig. There's no sound of the tap - you'd be willing to bet that it's not water he's drinking.
"No, I..." you frown, "I was worried about you."
You hear him take another sip, swallowing loudly and then placing the cup back down with a clink. More pouring. You swear you hear the faint sound of a chuckle before he takes another swig.
"Well that's silly," he states, and you suddenly notice there's a strange difference in his voice, a heaviness you're not used to.
"Are you drunk?"
He chuckles again but there's no humor in it, "Nowhere near as drunk as I'd like to be."
You frown, readjusting yourself against the pillows. You hear him take another sip, "Did something happen?"
He sighs then, deep and tired. You hear him put the glass back down on the counter, "No, babygirl, nothin' happened," hearing him say your pet name makes you feel a little better, the anxiety ebbing away a bit, "It's just that my job is the bane of my fuckin' existence."
He sounds genuinely exhausted, words tinged with resentment. You pull his flannel tighter around yourself, breathe him in, pretend you're in the same room as him, "Talk to me," you say softly, "Tell me what's wrong."
He doesn't reply for a moment - you can make out some footsteps on the other end, the creak of his stairs as he goes up to his bedroom, "No, darlin', it's nothin'. Shouldn't be talkin' about this with you."
"Hey, if something's bothering you, I wanna hear about it. I wanna make it better... if I can."
You hear him settle onto his bed, a satisfied little noise emanating from his throat that makes you smile, "That's the thing, babygirl. You can't. This is just the way life works. You do shit you hate and then you die, plain and simple."
"Joel," you admonish quietly - it's the first time you've said his name aloud since last weekend, it feels right on your lips, safe. He sighs but doesn't say anything else, breath evening out in your ear. "What is it? Really? I've been worrying about it all week."
"Oh honey," he murmurs softly. "Shouldn't be worryin' about me, there are more important things."
"Not to me," you admit, closing your eyes and shaking your head even though he can't see you, "First I thought maybe you were just busy, but-"
"Busy," he scoffs, "Right, yeah, busy. That's my middle name at this point. Fuckin' busy."
He really doesn't sound like himself - you know you still don't know him very well at this point, could be wrong about so many things, but part of you just knows that this isn't Joel. You know his softness, his safety, his kind eyes and crooked smile. This version of him sounds so sad; you can't help but wish you were in his bed right now, able to hold him close and run your fingers through his grey curls. You want him to open up to you.
"You don't wanna hear this shit, angel, you don't," he continues, voice gentler this time, "I know you're thinkin' somethin' is wrong, thinkin' somethin' in particular happened to make me feel like this, but the truth is..." he sighs again, deliberates for a moment and then simply states, "Truth is I'm just bein' stupid."
"You're not stupid," you say immediately, and he chuckles.
"God, you're so sweet, babygirl," he murmurs softly, "It's nice to hear your voice."
Your feel your skin heat up at the words, crossing your legs together unconsciously, "It's nice to hear yours too," you whisper with a smile, "I've missed you this week. Every time you've texted me it's felt like it's not really you."
"I'm sorry, baby," you can hear the sincerity in his voice buried underneath the tiredness and alcohol, "I'm just... I'm a mess." You hear him shuffle a bit in bed, like he's turning onto his side, "Work is always puttin' me in a shitty mood lately and I just...I don't want you to see this side of me."
"But why?"
Another sigh, then-
"'Cause I don't want you to look at me differently."
You bring the sleeve of his flannel to your lips, "I could never look at you differently, Joel," you whisper, "Promise."
He's quiet for a moment and you hope you haven't upset him, hope he's just thinking about what to say. You mean your words; it really would take a lot for you to look at him differently. You know you probably shouldn't feel that way considering you've known him less than a month, that the feeling should scare you... but it doesn't.
"I'm tired, angel," he finally says, voice sad and distant, "I'm too old to be doin' this job."
You wait for him to speak again, listening as he takes a shaky breath on the other end of the line, almost like he hasn't told anyone this. And maybe he hasn't.
"But it's hard to admit that to myself," he continues, "And even harder to admit it to you of all people. I don't want you to see some washed up, tired, old geezer, ya know?" he says it with humor but you can tell that he means it, "I mean I used to... god, I used to be able to do shifts like this no problem. Be up at five and home by midnight and able to do it all over again the next day. Now it's like I'm runnin' on a half empty tank of gas. Got no joy in this job anymore and my back is killin' me and-" he cuts himself off suddenly, "And I need to shut the fuck up before I scare you away."
"You're not gonna scare me away," you whisper, and you mean it, "I'm not going anywhere."
He laughs softly to himself; you're not sure if he believes you, but you're choosing to hope that he does, "Ya know, I didn't even wanna tell you my age when we were first together? I wasn't gonna tell you, I really wasn't. But then you were so sweet and vulnerable and honest with me-"
You scoff, "Yeah, lying about knowing how to play guitar, that's certainly honesty."
"That's not what I mean and you know it," he chastises - you can hear the sudden smile in his voice, "No, darlin'... when you told me you hadn't done anythin' before. That's when I knew I had to tell you, 'cause it wouldn't have been right otherwise," he makes an odd noise in his throat and then corrects, "Not that any of this is really right, but..."
"It feels right," you say softly, staring down at the plaid lines on the flannel shirt shrouding your body, reminding you of what it means - that you're his.
"It does," he agrees, voice rough and low, "Right and wrong in all the right ways, huh babygirl?"
You nod to yourself, unable to help the grin that spreads across your face, "Exactly."
The both of you are silent for a few moments but just like last weekend, it isn't uncomfortable or awkward. It's calming and safe, just listening to each other's breathing. You can tell he's tired, can hear it in his slow exhales; again, you can't help but wish you were lying beside him. And you can't help but wonder if a more sober Joel would have even said any of this to you, would have just kept it to himself and continued to deal with it in silence, not bothering to tell anyone how he's been feeling. It breaks your heart a little bit.
"It'll be okay," you whisper gently, soothingly, "It won't be like this forever, Joel."
He sighs, deep and sleepy, "You really are an angel," he murmurs, "So sweet and lovely, babygirl. Love hearin' you say my name like that."
His words send warmth throughout your body - no one has ever spoken to you the way Joel speaks to you, makes you feel the way he makes you feel. You close your eyes and bury your face in the sleeve of his flannel, listen as his breathing gets slow again.
"You should get some sleep," you whisper, even though you really don't want to end the call - but Joel is tired and you want him to feel better, "Text me tomorrow, okay? Even if you're grumpy."
He almost laughs but he's so close to sleep that it comes out slurred and low, "Okay, baby, I will. Promise."
"Goodnight, J-"
"Wait wait wait," he suddenly sounds a bit more alert, rousing himself from sleep, "You didn't tell me 'bout this church thing. You okay with it?"
You giggle at his sudden concern, "It's nothing, really. Just helping an old friend out with lesson plans for Sunday School. Not very exciting."
"Fun," his voice is sleepy and low again, "What're you gonna wear?"
You have to bite down on your lip to stifle another laugh, shaking your head even though he can't see you, "Go to bed, you perv."
He chuckles, "Okay, okay. Goodnight, angel."
"Goodnight, Joel."
You're about to end the call when you hear him murmur one final thing, so soft you're surprised you can even make it out - but you do:
"Hope I dream about you."
You fall asleep with a smile glued to your lips.
--
You end up wearing the same outfit you'd worn to Joel's last Saturday, though you leave the stockings at home; you doubt the women at church will be offended by your bare legs. You fasten your crucifix around your neck and make sure your mom gets a good look at you before you leave the house; you haven't spoken since yesterday afternoon but you still want her to see you're putting in some effort, as surface level as it may be.
She's in the living room when you come down the stairs, and her expression can't help but turn to one of surprise when she looks up from her book to see you standing there in your Sunday best.
"I'm going to the church," you explain softly, "Gonna help out Bethany with the lesson plan for Sunday School."
She assesses you up and down, eyes fixing on your crucifix for a moment before trailing back down to her book. She doesn't say a word.
Silent treatment. Typical.
Fifteen minutes later you find yourself being greeted by Bethany, blonde hair flowing down her dress as she stands outside the church with a bright smile plastered on her face. You recognize the forced expression immediately, one that you yourself have become an expert in feigning, though for different reasons. You haven't seen her in years but you still know her well enough to tell when she's less than thrilled about something - this time that "something" is you being there.
"I'm so excited you're here!" she tells you, voice shrill as she immediately takes a step forward to envelop you in a haphazard hug that feels neither excited nor genuine.
You should have known it would be like this. When you'd left for college a few years ago you'd promised to keep in touch with both Alice and Bethany, the only "solid" friends you'd managed to keep throughout all the studying, the tutoring, the church services, the extracurriculars, volunteering, etc. It's a miracle in itself that your friendship had even lasted through high school, if you're being honest. You'd begun to distance yourself from them a bit in those final years as you started to lose your faith while theirs only seemed to grow stronger. Leaving for college had been the last nail in the coffin.
"Me too!" you lie, feigning a similar smile as you both pull back from each other.
Though her grin is unrelenting, you can see the distance in her eyes, the sourness and disdain for your presence extremely evident. She doesn't like you. There's an awkward few seconds of silence where she assesses you up and down again, like she had at the service on Sunday.
Why did you even say yes to me coming here? You want to ask as you stand in front of her awkwardly, not really knowing what to say. If you didn't want me here you could have just said there wasn't anything for me to do. But you already know why you'd still been invited despite her obvious disdain for you - keeping up appearances means everything to these people; actually being honest about her feelings would have been disastrous for her reputation.
"Was sure you'd forgotten all about me," she finally says with an edge of malice still shrouded through her smile, "Haven't heard from you in what? Three years? And then you just show up outta the blue, huh?"
You grimace, "Uh, yeah, sorry about that. There was... I mean, I've just had a lot going on, I guess." You kick your feet awkwardly; this is not the conversation you want to be having right now.
"A lot goin' on, huh?" she echoes, eyes still scanning you up and down, "Right. Busy with college?"
You nod quickly, "Yeah, it's been kinda crazy."
She raises an eyebrow, "What are you studyin' again?"
"English Lit."
She snorts then, shaking her head and taking a step back, "Right. Reading. Sure sounds crazy."
Your brow furrows, "It's more than that."
"Oh, I'm sure it is," she puts her hands up in defense, fake laughing and smacking her lips together, "Just find it funny that an English Lit degree takes up so much of your time." She's being pretty bold with the sarcasm but you suppose she has a right to be angry, though you'd never assumed she'd be this pissed about you cutting her off, "Anyway, we should get inside, they're waitin' for us."
"Bethany," you take a step toward her, softening your expression, "I'm really sorry."
She just shakes her head again and turns away from you to reach for the handle on the front door, forced smile finally fading into a natural frown, "Forget it."
Great start.
You don't talk much after that, not after you're led into a side room off the chapel where a few other women are sitting in a circle with binders in their laps. Bethany simply gestures for you sit down in an empty chair and the meeting begins. Everyone immediately begins their rapport, discussing their plans and reading quotes aloud from their binders while you just kind of sit there unsure of what to do or say. A few of the women give you a tentative smile or two, but the way Bethany periodically glares at you is enough to keep them from actually speaking to you directly. You're okay with it though; as awkward as this is, you'd rather sit in silence than have to pretend. Still, if you'd known it would be like this you never would have come - it's not like your mother appreciates it anyway.
Your phone vibrates at one point, a text from Tasha confirming her flight information with lots of !!!!!!'s that make you smile. As if sensing your sudden mood shift, Bethany puts her hands up with another grin that doesn't reach her eyes.
"We keep phones in our purses" she says sweetly, "So we don't get distracted."
You nod and slip it back inside your bag, a gesture that's more of a peace offering than anything else; it seems to appease her.
It's strange being inside this part of the church again after so long. You'd attended your own Sunday School lessons here, prepped for choir and readings, learned your scripture. It certainly doesn't feel as safe or inviting as it once did, though you have to admit that there was always an undercurrent of pressure, of judgement - an energy that still remains today. Bethany watches you closely, quietly assessing you as you nod along to everyone's suggestions and ideas and try to keep up your long-time façade of obedience. You push down the new parts of you that long to take back a bit of control, maybe say something shocking or suggest something ridiculous just to see how they'd react.
You've been sitting in silence for about forty five minutes when Bethany announces its time for a quick phone break. Like clockwork everyone in the room pulls out their devices and starts checking for missed calls from their kids, their husbands. You pull yours out and your eyebrows go up in surprise when you see a text from Joel on your lockscreen:
How's your day going angel?
He didn't forget his promise. A smile plays at your lips as you start typing out your reply, but it quickly fades when you feel Bethany's eyes on you, watching.
"I'm, uh-" you stand up, smoothing out the creases in your dress and gripping your phone tightly, "I'm gonna take a bathroom break."
--
The bathroom is the same as you remember it, high ceilings and white walls, your footsteps echoing loudly as you walk over to the sinks and lean your back against the countertop. You continue typing out your reply to Joel:
well all the church ladies are giving me the silent treatment til i'm worthy of being here again lol. but jokes on them cause my mom is also giving me the silent treatment so i have training! anyway i miss you. wanna hug you. hope you're feeling a bit better today 💕
You turn around and face the mirror while you wait for his reply. You're still smiling - it's impossible not to when you're thinking about Joel, but this smile is bright and genuine, unlike the forced grins you've been sharing with Bethany for the past hour. God, you can't remember the last time anything made you feel as free and happy as Joel makes you, like nothing else really matters. Your phone buzzes and you tear your eyes away from the mirror to read his reply:
Aw baby I'm sorry. I wanna hug you too. Wanna do a bit more than hug if I'm being honest, but you know that already.
You bring your other hand up to your mouth, smiling even wider into it as his typing bubble pops up again only seconds later:
And I'm sorry about last night. If I said anything stupid please forget it ever happened. Me and alcohol don't mix that well sometimes. I'm alright, don't worry about me x
But I do worry, you want to say, I want to make you feel better. But how can you do that from a church bathroom, miles away from wherever he is right now? You're suddenly reminded of something he'd told you a few weeks ago, something you hadn't quite understood in the moment - You can text me whenever you want, tell me all about what you're doin', brighten up my workday. Maybe send me some pictures.
Oh.
You look at yourself in the mirror again and carefully place your phone down on the edge of the sink. Your hand slowly comes up to push aside the collar of your dress, pull the stretchy material past your shoulder and down your arm. You do the same to the other side, slipping out of your sleeves and tugging down the high neckline of your dress to expose your bare chest to the mirror, putting your cleavage on display. You bite your lip, willing yourself to see what Joel sees, a pretty girl in a pretty dress, bra straps clinging to her skin and a crucifix hanging from her throat. Filthy.
You grab your phone and turn it toward the mirror, opening up your camera app and moving it close enough so he can see only your torso, sleeves hanging limp at your sides while your other arm comes up to squeeze your breasts together a bit, accentuating your cleavage even more. You snap a pic and send it to him before you can talk yourself out of it.
He replies seconds later:
Fuck
A grin spreads across your face and you make quick work of slipping your bra straps down your shoulders as well, just as another text from him comes in:
Send me another baby. Please.
Already one step ahead of you, you think to yourself as your cheeks warm and you pull down the cups of your bra, your breasts spilling out into the cool air of the bathroom. You squeeze them together again, nipples hardening tightly as you take another picture and send it along with a coy message:
better?
He must be staring at his phone, waiting for it, because his typing bubble appears instantaneously. You can't help but feel a sense of pride at the power you're holding right now, a change of pace from your usual naivety.
Oh babygirl. This is just what I needed.
i know :)
You glance at the bathroom door and then at the time - you still have a few minutes before the meeting starts up again and your mind is already racing with what you can do with those few minutes. With barely any hesitation you tug your dress up over your thighs, pulling your panties to the side and aiming your phone underneath. You frown when you pull your phone back up to find that it's dark and blurry.
"Hold on," you whisper to no one, then carefully lift your leg and place your heel on the countertop for support, pulling your dress up again and aiming your phone a little better. You pull back your panties and aren't surprised in the slightest to feel that they're suddenly damp.
This picture comes out much better. Your pussy is bare and a little wet, clit poking out past your lips, panties pulled against your inner thigh. You already know it's gonna make him crazy as you hit send.
Jesus Christ
He's already typing something else when you receive it and you can't help but giggle, covering your mouth and trying to picture where he is right now, what he's doing. Is he in a bathroom too? On a break? Or is he in the middle of a job, surrounded by other people? The latter thought makes you even wetter somehow.
Fuck you have such a pretty pussy baby.
thank you mr. miller :)
Will you hold her open a little for me? Show me that sweet little hole?
Who are you to deny such a request? With heat radiating all over your body you bring your phone down again and scissor your lips apart, exposing the innermost part of yourself to your phone camera. You can feel your own slick on the tips of your fingers, and when you push yourself open you feel a bit of your wetness dribble down onto your palm. Fuck. This is hotter than you'd expected it would be. You'd thought it would be a good way to make him feel better, get him through his work day like he'd said; you never thought you'd enjoy it this much.
Oh sweetheart. Look at that.
You feel another rush of pride as you take your leg down from the counter and tug your dress back down, rubbing your thighs together and doing everything in your power not to touch yourself again even though you want to. A quiet whimper unconsciously tears itself past your lips at his follow-up message:
Who's that perfect pussy belong to babygirl?
You've never typed a message back so fast in your life.
you. it's yours mr. miller.
That's right. Good girl.
Your skin is on fire, body tingling in all the right places. You smooth a hand down your bare chest, cup one of your breasts, gently squeeze. It's impossible for your eyes not to roll back a bit when you imagine Joel's hand on you instead, big and firm and callused and perfect. Your pussy throbs in your underwear and another whimper slips past your lips.
i'm really wet now :(
I know angel. Come over tonight and I'll take care of it, Ok?
Your heart leaps at the invitation, even more wetness pooling in your panties at the thought of what Joel might want to do tonight, if there's another “lesson” he has in mind.
yes please
Eyeing the time again, you bite your lip in disappointment when you realize you should probably be getting back. You wait until Joel has finished typing his final response, a message that makes your skin burn with anticipation:
Don't touch yourself til you see me. Keep that soft little pussy hidden, baby. Promise me.
i promise x
Just as you hit send you suddenly hear the unmistakable sound of footsteps down the hall, quickly approaching the bathroom. Your eyes widen in the mirror, gaze snapping to your bare breasts, sleeves still hanging loosely at your sides. In a panic you hurriedly attempt to stuff yourself back into your bra before you have company – but you're not that lucky.
The bathroom door bangs open and you freeze with one arm halfway through your sleeve, breasts still completely exposed in the mirror as you turn on the spot to see none other than Bethany standing there, frozen in place.
“I-” she looks flabbergasted, expression one of pure horror as she takes a step back from you and grips the knob of the door like she could rip it off at any moment. Your free arm that isn't trapped in a sleeve comes up to cover yourself as best you can, but you know she's already seen everything.
“I'm- I was just-” You're similarly taken aback and at a complete loss for words, unsure how the fuck you can explain what exactly she's just walked in on.
Her eyes fall to the phone in your hand, like she's putting the pieces together, then she shakily takes another step back and leaves without saying another word, the click of her heels echoing back at you loudly until the door finishes closing behind her.
Shit.
You don't have time to stand around thinking up an excuse; you do briefly consider escaping through one of the windows to avoid facing her, but you know it would just delay the inevitable. Instead you hastily finish pulling your dress back on and stare at yourself in the mirror for one final moment.
Your smile is gone. So is the light in your eyes. You suddenly begin to feel that familiar sense of guilt creeping in, the shame, the sin. You blink a few times and find that there are tears welling up in your eyes, a lump in your throat. A tiny voice in the back of your mind, one you've been attempting to mute for years, whispers to you: What have you done?
--
Bethany doesn't speak to or look at you for the rest of the meeting. It's not much of a change from before you'd gone to the bathroom, but there's something new in her silence now, something you can see in her eyes as she stares down at her binder while the other women talk. Fear. You've known her for most of your life, can sense certain mood changes from a mile away; you've frightened her. And somehow that just adds even more to the guilt building in your stomach.
You'll apologize to her after the meeting, it's all you can do. You genuinely feel horrible that she'd walked in on something so private, seen something she never intended or desired to ever see. You wonder if there's anything you can use to pass off as an excuse; maybe you spilled something on your dress and were cleaning it off? Maybe it was too tight and you needed a breather? Anything is better than the alternative – the truth – but you somehow doubt she'll believe anything you say at this point. That bridge was broken the second you left for college; there's no repairing it now.
The meeting ends with a few pleasantries exchanged and several comments about picking kids up from school, getting home to cook something for dinner, normal things that remind you how abnormal your own situation is in comparison. Half an hour ago you'd felt on top of the world, in control, had power in the tips of your fingers. Now you just feel small again, inconsequential.
You wait until the other ladies have left before taking a step toward Bethany, ready to unload your apologies and beg for forgiveness. She surprises you by speaking first.
"I'd think twice before wearing that again,” she hisses at you, venomous and pointed. Your eyes widen.
"Excuse me?"
"I said,” her words are slow and full of bitter intention, eyes glaring daggers at you, “I'd think twice before wearing that again" she gestures to the crucifix around your neck and you unconsciously reach up to take it between your fingers, glancing down at it before looking back up to meet her angry gaze.
“I'm...” you feel overwhelmed, tears pricking in your eyes again at the sudden burst of rage being directed at you, “I don't...”
"You might not understand this,” she practically spits through her teeth, “but that symbol actually means something to the people here."
"I know what it means.” It comes out as barely a whisper, voice shaky as she takes an intimidating step toward you with nothing but malice in her expression.
"So that's why you've got your breasts out in a public bathroom? A church bathroom?”
“Bethany, I-”
“You're not welcome here anymore, understand?” her voice is full of finality, “You can come to church with your parents-” The mention of your parents sends your anxiety into a tailspin, heart beating frantically in your chest as she continues to step closer and closer toward you, “And you can pretend you're their good little girl. But I know the truth. And it's not welcome in my Sunday School ever again. Got it?”
My Sunday school. The superiority complex is strong and you know deep down that this is all completely rooted in her own fears, her own desires, her pride, but none of that seems to matter when she's staring you down like this, holding you captive with her hostile words.
"Got it,” you whisper, nodding shakily.
"Good. Now go home and take," she points toward the crucifix, the tip of her finger close enough to faintly brush against the shape of it, “that,” she suddenly prods it, giving you one final sneer, “off.”
It takes you twenty minutes to leave the parking lot after that, tears blurring your vision as you cry in your car and try not to let the shame completely envelop you.
--
Going to Joel's that night carries none of the anticipation you'd felt earlier this afternoon; instead you feel nothing but shame as you steal your mother's house key from its dish in the hallway, closing the front door behind you as softly as you can and hurrying out into the night. There's no excitement or rush like the last time you'd done this. You feel like you could cry at any moment as you approach Joel's house, climbing his front steps with a heavy weight on your shoulders that wasn't there before, that hasn't been there in weeks.
The door opens before you can even turn the knob – he must have been watching from his window, waiting for you in anticipation for tonight's “lesson”. Your stomach lurches.
“There's my little Sunday School girl,” he murmurs, taking your hand and tugging you gently inside.
“Please don't call me that,” you say quietly, head down.
He shuts the door behind you and takes your hands in his – you can feel his eyes on you but you're unsure of the look on his face, what expression is on it. Does he sense there's something wrong? Or is he waiting for you to jump his bones?
“Hey,” his voice is soft, concerned, “Hey, look at me, sweetheart.”
You shake your head, still staring at the floor.
“What happened, babygirl?” he murmurs, one of his hands releasing yours to come up and stroke your cheek gently, thumb grazing the wetness beneath your eyes, “Why're you cryin', darlin'? C'mere.” His finger travels down to your chin, pushes your face up to look at him.
His expression is worried, brow furrowed and forehead creased, a frown playing at his lips. You feel your heartbeat slow, the weight on your shoulders decreasing just a little bit as safety settles in your bones. He cares.
“I had a horrible day,” you whisper, feeling tears trickle down into the corners of your mouth, “I know you want to...want to...” you shake your head, “Whatever we were gonna do. But I don't think I can tonight, Joel. I don't feel good.”
“Oh, babygirl,” he breathes, releasing your chin and immediately wrapping you up in his embrace, arms tightening around you as he pulls you against his chest, “We don't have to do anythin', don't even worry about that.”
You bury your face in his chest, breathe him in. His flannel underneath your mattress is nothing compared to the real thing, the real smell of him overtaking your senses and filling you with a true feeling of warmth and safety. His arms are so big – he's so big – and without meaning to you find yourself going completely limp in his arms, bones turning to jelly. It's like finally breathing in the fresh air after holding your breath underwater, a natural reaction to finally being where you belong.
He doesn't question your body's response, almost seems to understand completely as he pulls you up from the floor and adjusts you slightly to cradle you in his arms, carrying you past the living room, past the kitchen, up the stairs and to his bedroom. You just close your eyes and bury your face in his shirt, inhale the scent of sawdust and sweat and cedar and Joel.
He tips you gently onto his bed, presses a gentle kiss to your forehead before settling in beside you without saying anything. You feel his arm wrap around you, tug you in closer beside him as he noses your hair and lets you just exist.
Minutes pass before you finally break the comfortable silence, voice quiet and small - “I feel so ashamed.”
You feel his brow furrow in your hair and you turn around to face him, bringing your arm up around his torso and pressing your hand firmly against his back. He looks at you with confusion, concern.
You tell him everything. About Bethany, your friendship with her and Alice before you left for college, the way you'd already begun to lose your faith even then. You tell him about your mom, about the silent treatment and her reaction to the white lie, the lie that's practically nothing in the grand scheme of deceit you've been weaving these past few weeks. You talk about church and Sunday School and all the guilt you'd felt in that little room growing up, how being there again felt wrong and uncomfortable. You tell him how free you'd felt in the bathroom with your camera, the power you'd felt, reclaimed, and how all of it had been snatched away from you the second Bethany had entered. How she'd destroyed any semblance of confidence you'd been able to find today, how she'd shamed you for the crucifix that you don't even want to be wearing. It's the most you've ever told him, the most you've ever talked to him about anything.
And he listens.
He doesn't seem put out by your venting, annoyed or irritated or ready to send you home at any minute. He just nods, frowns at the right moments, strokes your arm and your cheek, kisses your forehead when you start to cry. Wipes the tears away when you apologize for crying. He stays with you and remains present and attentive, lets you talk and talk until you start to apologize for how much you've been talking.
“I know this isn't even what you signed up for,” you blubber, shaking your head and bringing your hands up to cover your face, “I'm sorry I keep bringing so much- so many complications into your life.”
“Shh,” he soothes, placing his large hands on yours and pulling them away from your tired eyes, leaning in to brush his nose against yours, “Stop apologizin', baby. Stop. You've got nothin' to be sorry for.”
You suddenly sit up in bed, leaning back against the headboard and bringing a hand up to touch the crucifix still clasped around your neck. You hadn't taken it off like she'd told you to do; you'd felt like doing so would have made you weak, would have been like giving up, even though you'd never wanted to even wear it again in the first place.
“Why does this little thing have so much fucking power over me?” you ask aloud, not directed at Joel but more-so to yourself, “My whole life, no one has ever seen me, they've just seen this.” You shake your head, squeezing the tiny cross in your hand. “And wearing it again has just brought all that shit back, it's done absolutely nothing good. Wore it for my mom and she still gives me the silent treatment. Wore it for Bethany and she still treats me like garbage, tells me to take it off. It's just a fucking necklace.”
Joel sits up beside you, places a warm hand on your thigh and peers at you with those soft brown eyes, lulling you back into a sense of calm, of serenity.
“Give it to me,” he says quietly.
Your brow furrows in confusion. You stare at him for a moment, then watch as he carefully brings his hands up to graze his callused fingertips against your neck, brushing the chain.
“I'll take it off your hands for a bit,” he murmurs, “Outta sight, outta mind. And if you want it back, I'll have it ready for you. How's that sound?”
You nod slowly to yourself, feeling your eyes begin to sting again at his words, “...Good. Th-that sounds good.”
Without saying anything else you hear the sound of the clasp being undone, feel the chain slip away from your skin as Joel takes it from you. You turn your head to watch as he fists it in his palm for a moment, gaze thoughtful and faraway as he traces the shape of the cross with his thumb. A few seconds later he opens his bedside table and carefully places it inside, then shuts the drawer.
And just like that, the weight is gone.
--
You take a shower in his bathroom again, wanting to wash this day off you and start over, clean slate. You could have had one when you got home from the meeting earlier but you'd instead opted to just lay in bed feeling sorry for yourself for much longer than you'd needed to. Now you close your eyes and let the hot water envelop you, wash yourself with Joel's body wash and allow yourself to become his again, picturing him laying in his bed in the other room, waiting for you. This is what matters. This moment. Right now.
You enter his bedroom wrapped in one of his towels, drops of water still spilling down your skin onto the hardwood floor. He's sitting up in bed, shirtless with his legs hidden under the covers. He's seemingly deep in thought as he stares at his phone screen, brows scrunched together. You watch as he pulls the phone away from himself, eyes squinting and lips parting a bit, then pulls it back, like he can't see what he's looking at properly. You realize that's probably the case.
“You need glasses,” you say with a soft giggle, and his expression relaxes when he sees you standing there, phone going back on his nightstand.
“I have glasses,” he admits sheepishly, giving you a tender smile, “Just hate wearin' 'em.”
“Of course,” you roll your eyes and take a few steps forward, still gripping the towel around yourself. His eyes fall to the parts of you that are bare, revelling in the way the lamplight reflects on your wet skin. You feel tingles erupt through your senses under his gaze.
“Are you naked?” you ask softly.
He shakes his head, “Wearin' pants, don't worry.”
You stand there for a moment, staring. He just stares back, eyebrows going up a bit while he waits for you to say something else. When you don't, he tilts his head slightly, appraising you.
“Do you want me to be naked, babygirl?”
You're answering before you even really know what you want, "Yes."
Without needing to be told twice he reaches under the covers with both hands and shimmies his way out of his pajama bottoms, staying hidden under the sheets as he tosses them out onto the floor. You bite your lip, still just standing there staring at him without moving. You're still dripping everywhere, a little puddle of water forming at your feet the longer you stay frozen.
He raises his finger and playfully curls it toward himself with a smile, "C'mere, baby," he murmurs, "Be naked with me."
You don't need telling twice either.
The towel drops from your body, landing in the puddle of water on the floor - easy cleanup. You feel heat radiating through every inch of your bare skin as you walk toward the bed, avoiding Joel's eyes and quickly slipping in beside him. You really don't know what you're doing - you'd said when you got here that you didn't want to do anything, not tonight, and it's still true. But part of you just aches to be close to Joel, to feel his warm heat, his rough skin, be connected to him somehow. It's what you've wanted all week.
You inch in beside him, back against the headboard, your bare thigh touching his lightly beneath the sheets, and you find yourself tensing up unconsciously. He clocks your reaction immediately.
"You don't gotta be nervous, angel," he tells you softly, soothingly.
You swallow and take a deep breath, "It's hard not to be," you whisper, though there's no reason to, "I'm just... I'm so..."
"What?" he asks, brown eyes seeking yours in the dim light. His hand comes up to cradle your face, thumb swiping beneath your eye again like he's checking for more tears - luckily you're feeling much better in that department.
You sigh, shrugging slightly, "I don't know what I'm doing," your eyes fall down to the duvet, knowing that if you pulled it back you'd see your bodies touching underneath, his rough and tan skin pressed against yours, soft and untouched, "I mean, I don't even know why I came tonight. I knew I didn't- that I didn't want to-" you sigh again in frustration, unable to find the right words, "I just... I missed you," your eyes travel back up to meet his, "I just wanted to be near you."
His expression softens, still stroking your cheek as he peers into your eyes, "You feel safe with me, don't you?" You nod. "You know I won't do anythin' you don't want me to do, right?" Another nod. "So it's okay to just relax when you're with me."
You grimace, "How can I relax when we're naked in bed together?"
He chuckles, dropping his hand from your face and shuffling down into the bed a bit, away from the headboard, "Okay, time for another lesson."
You feel your heart sink again, worried that he's not understanding - probably because you can't explain it right - but he smiles reassuringly at you and curls his finger slightly, urging you to follow him downwards. With a quiet inhale you slowly inch away from the headboard and further down into the bed, beneath the duvet. You both stop moving when your heads hit the pillows, laying down fully beside each other.
"Gettin' naked doesn't always mean there has to be sex," he says softly, and you watch as he very slowly brings his hand down beneath the duvet; you know where it's going before it touches you, but you still shiver when you feel his fingers brush lightly against your bare arm, "Us bein' naked in bed together doesn't mean anythin' has to happen."
"But earlier today I said..." you trail off, shaking your head, "I promised that-"
"Earlier is earlier," he brushes your arm again, tender and comforting, "Circumstances change, your day got shitty. Mine was no better. It happens."
His hand travels downward, toward the skin of your hip. He curls his palm around your bare flesh and gently massages it, thumb stroking the edge of your tummy. It's intimate and new, but somehow it feels more safe and comforting than sexual, like he's simply doing something casual, normal.
"Sometimes you just wanna lay in bed with someone" he murmurs, still touching you tenderly, "No expectations, no pressure. No nothin'. Sure, it's fun to touch each other and be together like that, but if you just wanna sleep..." his fingertips brush your back gently, then press firmly into your skin as he pulls you a bit closer toward him, "If you just wanna lay here with me, that's okay too."
You're not sure what to think, staring at him with a million different thoughts flooding your mind. Your interpretation of what men want has always been a bit of a grey area, but you've heard enough from both your family and your friends to know that most of them are just after one thing. You'd heard it from your parents your whole life who always warned about non-Christian boys and their sinful thoughts, then from the girls at college who dealt with disrespect and catcalls, men who turned on them in an instant the second they realized they weren't getting any.
Joel isn't like that. Sure, he wants sex - that's been obvious since day one, when he'd invited you inside his house within minutes of meeting you. He'd only had one thing on his mind, just like your parents had always said. But he hadn't thrown a fit when you'd said no, and up until this point he's made it abundantly clear that the ball is in your court, that it's up to you what happens between the two of you.
"I know all this stuff can be scary," he continues softly when you don't reply, "I know you're embarrassed about bein' so inexperienced, but you don't need to be. I'm here to make it easier for you; I want you to be comfortable."
He nudges forward a bit and slowly begins to wrap his arms around you, warm and inviting. You let him, body going loose and comfortable in his grasp as you feel your eyes close; safe. You feel so safe.
"You're so warm," is all you can think to say, loving the way it feels to have his broad and hairy chest pressed up against your bare breasts, his big and strong arms winding around your smaller form.
He chuckles softly and you feel him press a gentle kiss to your cheek, beard scratching your skin in your favorite way. You bring your arms up and hug him back beneath the blankets, feeling your naked thighs press firmly against his. You're aware of his cock - it's hard not to be, not when it's pressed gently against the base of your tummy, soft against your skin - but he doesn't rub himself against you or do anything to initiate more than this, more than just being together like he'd said.
He really means it, you know he does.
"I can't wait to have sex with you," you hear yourself whisper in his ear; it sounds dirty but you don't mean it to be, "I just...I'm really glad it's gonna be you."
And I'm pretty sure I'm falling for you.
--
You wake up the next morning to a firm and solid presence at your back, bare and warm and comfy. You're surprised you're awake before Joel's alarm, wondering what exactly woke you up in the first place - and then you feel it. Something wet and sticky against your lower back, something pulsing and twitching every so often against your skin.
Good morning.
He hadn't pressed his cock against you like this last night when you were cuddling, hadn't asked you to touch it or even acknowledged its presence. But sleeping Joel is an entirely different person, his big arms wrapped around you tightly, one splayed across your belly while the other holds your right breast, cups it like it's meant to fit there. He holds you in place firmly, breath at your neck, nose in your hair.
You're not sure how much time you have left before his alarm goes off. The sun is only barely starting to come up outside the window, so it could start ringing at any time now. All you know is that the sensation of having him so close to you like this, his most intimate part so close to yours, so wet and warm, it's making you all wet and warm. Your skin almost feels itchy, especially at your neck where his warm breath leaves a damp spot beneath your ear, a spot you're suddenly longing for him to kiss, to lick.
"Joel," you breathe, unable to wait any longer, scared that at any moment he'll have to leave the bed and start getting ready for work.
No response.
"Joel," you repeat, a bit louder this time, and with his name you carefully grind back against him a little bit, the wet head of his cock trailing back and forth against your warm skin. He makes a grumbling noise in his chest, pulls you in a bit closer, "Joel, wake up," you moan, painfully aware of the shape of his balls against your ass, big and heavy and suddenly the hottest thing you've ever felt in your life.
"What?" he groans, rousing from sleep, "What is it?"
It's all the confirmation of awareness you need to suddenly turn in the sheets, bring the duvet down to expose your naked bodies to the both of you. His eyes are bleary and tired as he watches you from beneath heavy eyelids, sees where your gaze has settled.
His cock lays long and thick and loose against his tummy, round tip drooling precum into the hair smattered above his belly button. God, he's so big. Your lips part, saliva filling your mouth like it had the last time you saw it, like somehow your body knows exactly what the next step is.
"I wanna put my mouth on it," you whisper, pushing your hair back behind your ears and turning your gaze back to Joel's face, "Please."
His eyebrows go up in surprise, eyelashes fluttering with sleep. He's probably wondering where this is coming from, how the girl in his bed right now is the same one who just wanted to be held last night, but he doesn't seem to be complaining. He nods quickly, stretches his arms above his head and tries to rouse himself even more from sleep.
"Of course you can, baby," he mutters huskily, voice deep and dripping with arousal, "Go ahead."
"Tell me if I'm doing something wrong," you murmur softly, and before you can even fully process what you're doing or question if you'll even be good at it, your lips are pressing against the warm heat of his wet tip.
He hisses immediately and you pull back, frightened for a moment that you've already fucked up somehow. He shakes his head quickly at you, "No, no, you're good baby, that's good," one of his hands comes down to settle against the back of your head, fingers tangling gently in your hair, "Give it a kiss, just like that."
And you do. Time is already not on your side - you feel like there's a countdown clock hanging over your head as you press another kiss in the same spot, his precum sticky on your lips. You'd thought it might be gross, had heard lots about blowjobs from your friends and how unpleasant they can be, but when your tongue darts out to carefully prod against where he's leaking, you find that it doesn't bother you that much at all.
"Tastes funny," you murmur softly, peppering a few more kisses around the wide head and then down to his shaft, thumbing the prominent vein on the underside as you do it.
"Kinda gross, huh?" you hear him say softly above you, a strained edge to his voice that makes you smile against him.
"I think I like it, actually," you admit softly, tongue darting out once again to slowly lap up a bead at the tip. You're not lying; there's something masculine and sexy and inherently Joel about it, something you hadn't been expecting.
"That's good, sweetheart," he murmurs, stroking the back of your head gently, "That's so good, angel." You don't know whether he means your opinion on the taste or simply a reaction to the things you're doing with your tongue, but either way you keep going, hoping that the alarm doesn't interrupt you.
You wrap your lips around the tip carefully, pulling it into your mouth and sucking it gently - very gently. He makes a breathless sound above you and you can't help but bring your gaze up to his face, your eyes meeting his as you swallow him down.
"That's it, that's a good girl," he breathes, thumbing a strand of hair at your temple and pushing it behind your ear, eyes dark, "Look at you."
You swirl your tongue around the tip, still making sure to keep eye contact with him as you carefully slip more of him inside your mouth. He's so big, there's absolutely no way you'll be able to fit all of him inside, at least not without some practice. He doesn't seem to mind that you can only take a little bit of him, his thumb coming downward to stroke gently at the corner of your mouth. He wipes away a bit of drool pooling there, brows furrowing.
"You're doin' so good, angel," he whispers, nodding slowly to you in reassurance as you very slowly begin to lift your head up and down, up and down, eyes going hazy, "Takin' that cock so well."
His words spur you on, encourage you to take a little bit more. You've got about half of him in your mouth and you already know you won't be able to take anymore, the spongey tip pushing dangerously close to your gag reflex. You absolutely do not want to choke, don't want to ruin this in any way. You want him to feel good. Feel better.
"Oh, honey," he groans softly when you begin to palm his balls, rolling them gently and feeling their fullness, round and heavy, "This mouth," he touches the corner of your lips again, a bit harder this time, trails his fingers downward to grip your chin, "Made to have my cock in there, huh?" his eyes are boring into yours, pupils blown wide, "You like havin' your mouth full like that, babygirl?"
You nod and whimper around his length, speeding up a little bit and never breaking eye contact with him, obsessed with watching his eyes get darker and darker, filling more and more with lust as he watches you pleasure him.
"Yeah, you do," he murmurs, voice soothing again like last night, calm and safe, "What a good girl you are, wakin' me up to suck my cock. Couldn't wait, could ya, baby?" you shake your head and the head of his cock slips past your throat a little too far, so much that you have to pull off him quickly to be sure you don't gag, "Aw, baby, that's okay," he reassures you gently, "It's a lot, I know."
Your eyes are hooded and your jaw is already starting to ache - you're not used to doing something like this and he knows it, strokes your cheek gently as he takes his cock in his hand and carefully pushes the tip against your lips.
"You just kiss it, baby," he whispers, dark and deep, "Kiss that cock 'til I come, okay?"
You do as you're told, lips parting slightly as he rubs the head of his cock against your lips and strokes himself a few more times, bringing himself close to the edge. He's so gorgeous like this, so rugged and almost animalistic as his chest heaves, groans escaping his mouth as he watches your lips. His hand is still in your hair, grip getting tighter and tighter as you lean down a bit so he can gently fuck the tip of his cock back into your mouth. Your eyes close involuntarily and you can feel your pussy throbbing against the mattress with every thrust, lips tight around him.
"Ah, fuck," he grits out suddenly, then pulls his cock away from your mouth and releases all over his chest and stomach, thighs tensing up as you watch his eyes practically roll back into his head. Your eyes are wide and attentive, locked onto the white ropes of come that spurt against his bare skin. You find yourself wondering what it would feel like at the back of your throat instead, on your tongue, what it would taste like...
Your thoughts are interrupted by Joel's alarm going off, loud and obnoxious. Before he can pull himself up to turn it off, you lean over to the nightstand and do it yourself, swiping it off and turning back to his blissed out form. He lies there panting for a moment, eyes closed. You can't help but smile, feeling pride swell in your chest again at the knowledge that you made him feel like this.
"Don't go back to sleep," you whisper softly, "You gotta go to work."
He groans then, but opens his eyes and gives you a crooked smile and a wink, expression still sleepy and satisfied, "Who needs an alarm clock when I got you, huh?" He gestures with his finger for you to move closer and you do, leaning down to press a soft kiss to his lips, "Mornin', darlin'," he murmurs against your mouth.
"Morning," you whisper back, and you revel in the smile on his face when you pull away, "Sorry for jumping your bones so early."
He just shakes his head with a wide smile, "Never apologize for jumpin' my bones, baby." His eyes fall to your naked body, settling on your pussy, still wet and aching against the sheets, "Aw, sweetheart, lemme take care of that for you."
You shake your head, pointing to his phone, "We don't have time, you gotta get to work and I gotta get home before my parents wake up," you slip out of bed and reach down to pick up the clothes you'd stripped yourself of last night before your shower. He starts to protest but you put your hand up with a soft laugh, "It's okay, Joel. I wanted to do this for you, start your day out right. Give you a chance at a good day."
He peers up at you from the bed, face smooshed into the pillow as he watches you get dressed, "Doesn't seem fair."
You just roll your eyes, pulling on your panties and shorts and pointing to his phone again, "Really, we need to hurry," you bite your lip as you slip your t-shirt over your head, "I have keys this time but I still don't wanna risk it."
"Okay, okay," he grumbles softly, "I'm goin'."
He slips out of bed and stretches, tilting his body back and forth. You both hear the way his bones crack, the noise that emits from his throat when he bends his back a certain way. You watch his expression change, going from content and sated to embarrassed and grumpy in seconds.
"And just like that, the illusion is gone," he mutters to himself, limping away from the bed and toward the door without so much as a side glance to you, clearly upset by the sudden reminder of his age. You frown, watching him go and feeling an ache in your chest that makes a home there for the rest of the morning.
--
He'd made you breakfast last time, so it's only fair that you make something for him today. Unfortunately cooking has never been your forte, so about fifteen minutes later you're waving a dish rag at the fire alarm while the sausages you'd managed to burn are smoking in the sink. Joel comes running down the stairs after his shower with a look of concern on his face, only for it to fade into one of amusement when he sees the situation.
"Now why am I teachin' you guitar when you clearly don't know how to even use a stove?"
"Oh, shut up," you can't even pretend to be mad at him, grin spreading across your face as you shake your head and breathe a sigh of relief when the alarm stops going off, "Help me clean this up."
You end up making toast instead.
"You know, we've still got about ten minutes," he says across from you at the table as you eat, peering down at his watch quickly.
"Yeah, 'cause I fail as a cook," you mutter, making a face at your slice of toast, "I was gonna do eggs too, you know."
"Let's not reach for the stars too quickly now," he says with a sly smile, putting his hand up quickly when you prepare to retort, "Anyway, that's not what I meant."
"What did you-" you look up from your toast and see him beckoning you toward him again like he had last night, finger curling toward himself with a sly smile on his face.
You look at the clock on the oven, biting your lip.
"It'll take five minutes tops," he says, and you raise your eyebrow at him.
"Really?" you challenge, "Five minutes?"
"Five minutes."
That, you'd like to see. Dropping your toast back onto the plate, you stand up and walk to the other side of the table, unsure what exactly he wants you to do. He spreads his legs a bit, points to his thigh.
"Sit here, babygirl," he says, voice low and hypnotic, "Wanna show you somethin' new."
Yes please.
You situate yourself on his lap, one leg going between his thighs while the other dangles carefully off the other side of the chair. He pulls you down, big hands coming up to palm your hips and hold you there firmly. You swallow tightly, unsure exactly what he has in mind.
"You know what feels really good?" he murmurs, thumbs slowly stroking the bare skin between your shirt and your shorts.
"What?" you whisper, peering down into his eyes with intrigue.
"This," he says softly, then very slowly begins to move your hips, dragging you carefully back and forth along his thigh. Your eyebrows shoot up, lips parting as you feel the ache in your core immediately return, the pressure of his thigh and the movement of his hands setting your nerves alight.
He looks down at his own handiwork, watches as he moves you back and forth, back and forth, rocking you over and over again until you're whimpering in his lap, your hands coming up to grip his shoulders. He just smiles up at you, doesn't stop his movements.
"Yeah, that feels good, doesn't it?" he breathes, watching your expression closely, "Feels good to finally have somethin' touchin' that pussy, huh baby?"
You moan at his words, hands slipping from his shoulders to wrap around him as you lean forward to bury your face in his neck. He just starts to move you faster, chuckling softly to himself when your hips buck against him. It's amazing how such a simple action can feel so fucking good, the constant stimulation against your clit through layers of material making you writhe and whimper.
He removes one of his hands from your hips and slips it inside the leg of your shorts, fingertips tickling your inner thigh gently. You grapple onto him even tighter, hugging him like a koala as his thumb slowly begins to stroke you through the wet spot of your panties.
"Couldn't stop thinkin' about this pussy yesterday," he murmurs, thumb rubbing your clit over and over in little circles, "Those pictures were so filthy, baby."
You moan against his shoulder, gripping him tighter as his thumb begins to pick up speed. He presses a kiss to your neck, wet and hot; it makes your eyes roll back.
"And this little hole," he murmurs in your ear, suddenly adding a finger inside your shorts to circle your entrance slowly, "Kept thinkin' about this tiny little hole, all open for me."
God, when he talks like that you can't even fucking think, brain running on autopilot as he pulls you impossibly closer and lets you bare down on his thigh, his finger and thumb trapped under your weight, pressed firmly against your core.
"Who's gonna fill up that hole, babygirl?" he whispers in your ear, soft and secret, "Huh? Who's that hole belong to?"
"You," you whimper into his shoulder, eyes shut tight as he strokes his finger up and down through the fabric, adding even more pressure to the overwhelming sensations you're already feeling "It's yours, Mr. Miller."
"And what's gonna go inside it, sweetheart?"
"Hnhng," you can't speak, inhaling shakily as Joel's other hand presses harder against your hip and continues to guide you, fucking you back and forth against his thigh. He just watches you, eyes dark, lips parted, brow furrowed.
"Words, babygirl," he reminds you softly, "Use your words. What's gonna go inside that tight little hole? Huh? Tell me."
"Y-your cock."
"That's right," he murmurs, the tip of his finger prodding inside you gently, taking the damp material of your panties with it, "Gonna fill you up so deep with my cock, honey. You're gonna feel it right here," he moves his hand up and places it at the base of your belly, pushes against it softly, "Gonna be so big inside you, sweet girl."
Oh fuck.
"I want it so bad," you groan, wrapping your arms even tighter around him, "I need it Mr. Miller."
"You do need it," he agrees softly as he kisses the top of your head, bringing his hand back down from your belly to guide you again, moving you back and forth "Need to be fucked so bad, don't you baby? Til you can't even think straight."
You nod frantically, continuing to grind yourself down against his thigh over and over and over, "Please," you whimper, almost a squeak, "Please, Mr. Miller."
"Shh," he soothes, pulling you in closer and moving your hips against him, looking at you with those big brown eyes full of lust and safety, "I will, babygirl. Soon. I'll fuck you so good, honey. I promise." Your body hitches in his lap as you near the edge, eyes going wide and mouth popping open as your orgasm starts to hit you, "Yeah? You like thinkin' about that, huh? Me fuckin' this soaked little pussy into my mattress? Fillin' you up so deep you can feel me in your stomach?"
You can't hold on anymore, eyes shutting tight and high pitched whimpers flowing past your lips as you start to come. He pins you against his thigh, holds you there tight and firm as your pussy pulses and throbs through his pants. You lean forward to bury your face in his neck as you ride it out, feel his hand press against your back.
"Oh, good girl, that's it, baby," he murmurs, kissing your temple gently and stroking your back in little circles, "Come all over my lap, sweetheart. Show me how wet she can get, there you go. Good girl."
After a moment of catching your breath and willing yourself to pull your face away from his neck, you both bring your attention to the clock on the stove - five minutes have passed.
"Told ya," he murmurs, pulling you into one more hug, hitching his chin over your shoulder and rubbing your back gently as your head lolls against him.
You're too blissed out to tease him back.
--
The arrivals gate isn't as busy as you'd expected, thankfully. You lean against your car a few hours later, still reeling from your morning with Joel as you wait for Tasha to show up. You'd told him about your weekend plans before you'd left, insisting that despite spending time with Tasha you'd still be attending your Saturday lesson.
"Can't wait," he'd murmured to you, low and deep in your ear after giving you one final kiss at the door, "Got somethin' real special planned, babygirl."
You'd practically melted down his front steps.
"THERE'S MY FAVORITE SLUT!!" you suddenly hear someone shout, and you look up to see Tasha at the sliding doors, bags dropping to the ground as she sprints at you head on and collides with you seconds later, wrapping her arms around you tightly.
She's just the same as she was the last time you saw her, high spirited and excitable and sweet, practically vibrating in your arms with joy. Only she could rock a bright purple cowboy hat and sweatpants, not to mention the lime green flip flops.
"Oh my god," you gasp in her ear, hugging her back and spinning on the spot, "You're insane."
"I'M EXCITED!" she squeals, pulling away from you and clapping her hands together, "We're going out tonight!!! Together!!! For the first time ever!" She brings her hands up and places one on either side of your face, lips turning down into a pout, "My baby bird is leaving the nest," she sighs dreamily, shaking her head, "I never thought this day would come."
"Please get in the car," you laugh, popping the trunk and gesturing to her bags, "before I change my mind and send you back."
--
You give Tasha the complete run-down on Joel as you get ready at the Airbnb, updating her on everything that's happened since you'd last checked in. It feels so good to actually talk about it, not text or simply mull it over and over in your head. She gasps at all the right spots, makes ridiculous faces in the mirror as she curls her hair, nearly drops the curling iron on the floor when you tell her about this morning.
"AND YOU LIKED HOW IT TASTED?" she practically screams, running out of the room and then running back in like she has no idea what to do with herself, "Oh my god, you are down bad. Jesus Christ," she makes a face, "Sorry, I mean- uh, fuck."
"Tasha," you roll your eyes, "You can say Jesus Christ."
"I can?" her eyes widen and she sighs in relief, picking up the curling iron from the floor, "Thank god."
You're going clubbing tonight for the very first time; a night of dancing and cocktails and flirting and living out all the college dreams you still have yet to experience. You're a bit tentative about the flirting part though, a concept that floors Tasha immediately.
"You can't go clubbing and not flirt," she says with faux shock, spinning in front of you as she assesses her dress in the mirror, "It's the best part!"
"I have a-" you cut yourself off, making a face at your reflection.
"You do not have a boyfriend," Tasha says immediately, "There has been no definition, babe. You need to keep reminding yourself of that."
"But it's not just fucking," you argue with a grimace, "I mean, it's not even fucking at all, we still haven't taken that step yet."
"I know, I just don't want you to get your heart hurt, honey," she frowns, leaning toward the mirror and applying some lipstick, "Boys are mean."
"Well, Joel's not a boy," you say quietly, fingering the hem of your own dress, a short and cute pink number that Tasha had brought specifically for you to wear, "He's a man."
"Mmhm, so you keep telling me," she raises an eyebrow, "I think I need to see this man for myself. Give you my honest opinion, see if he's really this gorgeous, perfect hunk you make him out to be."
You bite your lip, trying not to smile as you think back to this morning, how he'd looked in the early morning light, naked and sleepy and beautiful. And all yours.
"He is," you murmur softly.
--
You're supposed to be going clubbing, supposed to be out dancing and drinking cocktails and living out all your college dreams for once in your life. But where are you instead?
"O'Neil's!!" Tasha says excitedly, pointing to the red neon sign outside the bar you've just arrived at, throwing you a shit-eating grin that just makes you playfully roll your eyes.
You never should have told her the name of the bar Joel frequents, because she's now made it her mission to find him, get a good look at him and judge for herself if he's really all you're making him out to be. It's your own fault, you suppose, considering that you don't have any pictures of him or any frame of reference to articulate exactly the way he looks. For Tasha he's shrouded in mystery, but not for much longer.
Your ears are already ringing when you get inside the bar, the chatter and buzz of other people's conversations flooding your thoughts. You're not used to being out like this, being around drunk people or high people or literally anyone whose ideal night out is spending time at a bar. It's nerve-wracking and you instantly feel like a fish out of water, gripping onto Tasha's arm after showing your ID to a man who ogled both of you way more than he needed to.
"So this is where he hangs out," Tasha says, assessing her surroundings and leading you towards the bar where most people seem to be gathered, "Quaint. Little divey. Definitely not for our crowd but hey, we're learning new things tonight." She taps the counter and tilts her head toward the bartender with a smile, "Watcha got on tap?"
You wrinkle your nose, "I thought we'd be having cocktails."
"Oh we will at the club, don't you worry. But if we want the authentic dive bar experience, beer is necessary," the bartender lists the options and Tasha orders, though you barely hear what either of them are saying over the loud music and conversations. Your eyes scan the bar for any sign of Joel, but people are packed so tightly in here that it's hard to really see anybody, faces and bodies melding together.
The bartender hands Tasha the drinks and she throws him a wink, "Thank you, darling."
You envy how easily she navigates a situation like this, so natural and graceful despite her surroundings that are anything but. She hands your beer to you with a smile and holds hers up in front of her, tilting it toward yours until they clink.
"To you finally coming out with me," she toasts with a grin, "It's about damn time."
You smile back and take a sip, trying your hardest not to wince at the bitter flavor. It's not like you've never tried alcohol before, you just already know that you hate beer.
"Delicious," you lie, and Tasha just laughs and gestures toward a suddenly empty booth in the corner of the room.
"Let's sit there while we suss him out," she mutters to you, pulling you along with her and slipping inside, "Now, what's he look like? You've been pretty vague about those details." She waggles her eyebrows, "Be honest, is he bald?"
You almost spit out your second sip, shaking your head furiously, "No, he's not bald. Full head of hair."
She puts her hands up in defense, "Hey, it's not that crazy to assume!"
You just shake your head and laugh, turning back toward the bar and the people and trying to get a gage on where he might be. You know he usually comes here with his contracting crew, but what the hell does a contracting crew even look like?
"Help me out, gimme a description!" Tasha says eagerly, wiggling in her seat a bit and following your gaze, "He has facial hair, right?"
"Yes, it's kinda messy and scruffy," you bite your lip, squinting a bit as if that'll help you.
"And what's his hair color?"
You don't look at her as you reply, "Um.. grey."
Tasha's hand slaps down on the table and you jump, eyes going wide as you turn back to her, "What?"
"Grey? Girl, how old is he?" she doesn't sound angry or judgmental - she sounds intrigued. And almost... impressed? You gnaw on your lip, scrunching your eyebrows together as you look back toward the crowd of people.
"Um... he's..." you stop short, freezing when your eyes land on a familiar shirt near the bar, a red and black plaid button down that you'd seen only hours ago, "There! He's there!" You point at him quickly, ducking your head a bit and motioning for Tasha to lean in closer to get a good look.
"Oh... my god," she breathes, and you feel a rush of pride at her response, unable to stop the grin from plastering itself to your face as you peer at him.
There's something different about him that you can't place - maybe it's just because you haven't seen him in a public place like this, aren't used to what he looks like when it's not just the two of you. You try to put your finger on it, and while you're doing so he does something that makes your heart positively swell in your chest.
He smiles. That beautiful crooked smile that pulled you in the day you met him, set your skin on fire and brought you to the point of no return. Those crinkly eyes, the grey in his beard, the softness of his eyes, they send that familiar feeling of safety rushing through your bones. And you realize there's nothing different about him at all. That's your Joel, sitting on a bar stool after a long day of work, nursing a glass of whisky and chatting about his day. He's the same Joel who you'd woken up with this morning, just in a different setting.
You're so distracted by his rugged beauty out in the open like this - overwhelmed by his charm and his smile - that it takes you a few seconds to see who exactly he's smiling at.
You feel your heart in your throat.
There's a woman sitting beside him. Not just beside him, but so close their stools are touching, so close her legs - long and lean and beautiful - are brushing his. It's not subtle the way her ankle moves against his calf, up and down, up and down. She's wearing jean shorts and a halter top, skin dark and gorgeous and exposed in all the right places, beautiful brown braids cascading down her back and shoulders. You can't see her face but you already know she could be a model. She probably is.
No. No, something isn't right.
Maybe it's not him.
Time feels like it's frozen, like everyone in the bar has stopped moving except the two of them, like a giant spotlight is shining directly on where they sit, where they touch, where they smile at each other. Because it is him. It's him in all his gorgeous Joel glory, peering into the eyes of a woman who isn't you, a woman who's probably more his type, closer to his age, a woman who's somehow making him smile like that when she shouldn't. That's how he smiles at you. That's your smile.
A woman who's now leaning in for a kiss.
No. Please no.
A woman who he kisses back.
This isn't happening. This isn't real. This is just some sick and twisted nightmare you're about to wake up from at any second.
His hand comes up to cup her face.
"I'm gonna throw up," is all you manage to gasp out to Tasha as you yank yourself from the booth and sprint out of the bar, hand splaying across your belly as you bend over and release the contents of your stomach all over the sidewalk.
You feel Tasha's hand on your back, pulling your hair behind your ears. She's saying something but you don't understand it, ears continuing to ring despite being outside in the cool air, away from the loud music and chatty conversations, away from them.
"Oh honey," you finally hear her say, soft and kind as she rubs circles into your back, a comforting action that brings no comfort to you, not now, not after what you've just seen. "I'm so sorry."
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steddieas-shegoes · 3 months
Text
always you
wanted to wish @rozzieroos a very happy birthday! you've been so supportive of me since the beginning and it makes a world of difference to someone who is always just a bit nervous to share the things they write. i am unfortunately not a very crafty bitch, so i can't return the friendship bracelet favor right now, but i hope this is a nice little sappy gift for ya! sending you big hugs and all my love 💕 - mickala
rated t | 1,324 words | no cw | tags: fluff, established relationship, the most miniscule hurt and almost entirely comfort, boys in love, side platonic stobin stuff but robin isn't technically there
💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
Steve always had an adrenaline crash after a visit from Robin. The first time it happened, Eddie was convinced they would have to move to Boston just so Steve could get out of the funk. Luckily, they figured out what to do after a couple of days.
And every time it's happened since, they manage to get him out of it pretty quickly.
But this time seemed worse, and Eddie wasn't sure why.
As far as he could tell, everything about the visit was normal. Robin came for a long weekend, they all went to dinner together the first night, Eddie had to work on Saturday so Steve and Robin had their fun together. Sunday, they all went to brunch together before dropping her off at the airport.
And Steve was fine! That evening he was cooking dinner and dancing to music while Eddie wrote some notes for a campaign he was running with work buddies. They ate together and Eddie did the dishes while Steve went through his nightly routine of locking up.
They even gave each other blowjobs in the shower.
But this morning, as soon as Eddie opened his eyes and smelled the bleach, he knew it was bad.
He sat up and looked out the open bedroom door.
"Fuck."
He got up quickly, throwing on the closest pair of pants he could find, probably Steve's since they felt baggier than his own, and made his way down the hall to the bathroom.
Steve was on his knees, scrubbing the shower like it personally offended him.
"Hey sweetheart, everything okay?" He asked hesitantly.
"Fine," Steve answered, clearly very far from fine.
Eddie sighed and sat on the closed toilet lid. "Stevie, it's okay if you wanna have a sad day. I know it's hard when Robin goes back home. I'm off today so we can just relax in bed if you want."
Eddie would never tell Steve that the reason he was off was because as soon as he knew when Robin was going back home, he'd requested the day off to be here for Steve.
"I don't need a sad day. I'm fine."
"Yeah, that's why you've scrubbed the shower until it's literally sparkling at way too early in the morning," Eddie reached out and covered his shoulder. "It's okay to miss her. I know it's hard."
Steve stopped scrubbing.
Eddie prepared for what was likely to be a very ugly and loud sob.
Steve turned to him with his lips quivering and eyes watery.
"Oh, sweetheart," Eddie said as he got on the floor with Steve and pulled him into his lap. "It's gonna be alright. We're gonna visit her next month, remember?"
"I know," Steve said against his shoulder, voice wobbling like he was still holding back tears. "I just don't wanna keep doing this."
"What?"
"I hate being so far from her. We were supposed to live close enough to see each other every weekend and have sleepovers and now she's in Boston with her girlfriend who is amazing, and I'm here with you and you're amazing, but I miss her. And I know she misses me." Eddie could feel tears soaking his shirt. "And it's stupid that we're so codependent still, and I feel bad that you probably feel like you're not enough."
"Sweetheart, I don't ever feel that way. I've never felt that way. Have I made you feel like I feel that way?" Eddie tightened his grip around Steve.
"No, not really," Steve shrugged. "It's just I know we're a lot. And I know it sometimes probably seems like I need her more than I need you, but I don't."
"Sweetheart, I know that." Eddie kissed the top of his head and smiled. "You're a package deal. I knew that the moment you kissed me in the hospital room. I was getting Steve and his platonic soulmate Robin, or I wasn't getting Steve at all. I know how important she is to you. Don't you think she's important to me too?"
"I guess," Steve shrugged again, sniffling against Eddie's shirt.
"Well, how could she not be? She helped make sure you stayed safe before I was there to protect you. She knows exactly what to do when you have nightmares, taught me everything she could so I could be there for you. She sends me tapes she thinks I'll like when she sends you care packages. She was the second person I ever came out to! "
"Wait, I thought I was the second person you came out to."
"You were the third. She was a practice run when I saw her staring at the young nurse who checked my vitals the day I woke up. She's the one who told me I should tell you," Eddie nudged him away for a moment so he could look down at him. "I wouldn't be on this floor with you five years later if not for her. She's kinda important to me."
"I just hate that I get like this!" Steve finally said. "I hate that this happens every time. It's not fair to you."
"Love, it's okay. I know how to help." Eddie kissed his forehead. "Go ahead and wash your hands and go get back in bed. I'm gonna grab a book and we're gonna cuddle for a bit."
"But-"
"And then!" Eddie continued, louder. "We'll get pizza delivered for lunch even though we shouldn't. We'll call Robin. We'll take a bath. I'll wash your hair. I'll make us that roasted chicken stuff you like for dinner. It'll be perfect."
"Okay."
"And then-"
"There's more?" Eddie could hear the smirk in Steve's voice even though he'd buried his face against his neck again.
"Of course there's more." Eddie poked his side. "And then we're gonna start talking about moving closer to Boston so we can visit her more than three times a year."
"Eds, we can't afford Boston."
"I know. But we can afford New England if we find the right spots. We'll have her send us some ads for places for rent. I can transfer within the company. You're a teacher, you can work anywhere."
"You make it sound so easy."
"It is so easy. Making you happy is the easiest thing I'll ever do."
"But you have to be happy too."
"I will be. You wanna know why?"
"Why?"
"Because I'll still have you. And let's be honest, it's way more likely that one of the New England states is gonna let us get married before fucking Illinois."
Steve chuckled. "Married? Who said anything about getting married?"
"Oh, did I forget to mention? I planned on spending the rest of my life with you."
"I know that, goofball." Steve let out another genuine laugh. "I just didn't think you'd ever wanna actually get the law involved if they ever let us."
"Steven, I don't involve the law, the law involves me."
"I don't think that's how it works, babe," Steve kissed his neck before pulling away. "I think all that sounds nice though."
"Then hop to it, Harrington! We've got a bed to get back into."
Once they settled in their bed, Steve curled into Eddie's side while he opened the book they'd been reading for a week now, he looked up at Eddie with a soft smile.
"I love you a lot, you know?"
"I know, angel. I love you a lot more," Eddie replied, leaning down to kiss his lips softly.
They'd spend the day exactly as Eddie said they would.
They'd find a place only two hours from Robin and move less than a month later.
They'd get married as soon as it was legal for them to do it.
They rescued a dog.
They even adopted twins.
And every single time Steve wanted to see Robin, they packed up the car and went to visit her.
Because Steve had Eddie, and Eddie had Steve, but they both had Robin.
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almond-tofuuu · 3 months
Note
Maybe dawnbreak! Zayne eventually finds a way to get to the world he 'dreams' about, and meets the mc. (yandere tho???)
Oooh I love this idea!!!! Thank you anon!!!
Hope you enjoy 💕
The Reaper's Embrace
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Dawnbreaker! Zayne x reader
Warnings: slight yandere/possessive elements, possibly ooc Zayne/Dawnbreaker (I tried my best)
lmk if I missed anything ☺️
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Something was wrong with Zayne.
When you left work to find him waiting for you outside the building, a strange sense of unfamiliarity washed over you, as though your subconscious was screaming about a danger your brain couldn't register. Which was absurd, right? Zayne wasn't a stranger, far from it.
Maybe it was the clothes he was wearing. The sleek, black suit hugged his broad shoulders perfectly, and the long, dark coat he wore over the top blended seamlessly into the night. He looked intimidating, almost scary, his imposing form striking an eerie resemblance to that of the grim reaper.
You shake your head in an attempt to clear your mind, "I'm being ridiculous! It's just Zayne, so what if he's dressed a little differently. I must be even more exhausted than I thought" after mentally reprimanding yourself, you make your way over to Zayne, ignoring the unsettling chill running down your spine.
"You must've gotten off work early today if you're here to pick me up! Sorry if I kept you waiting" you greet him warmly, soft smile on your face despite the increasing paranoia building inside your mind.
Zayne doesn't respond, his eyes that are usually filled with a tenderness and warmth now appear cold and lifeless, but there's a hint of something else in his gaze, something almost crazed and predatory. It makes your blood run cold, as if the ice of his evol was flooding your veins. It's as though you're in a trance, your mind is begging you to run, to get away from the man in front of you, but your body won't respond, frozen under the intensity of his gaze.
Zayne takes a careful step towards you, one hand slowly reaching out but stopping just short of touching your cheek. He hesitates, as though he's afraid to actually touch you. And he is. He's afraid that this is just another dream, a cruel trick his mind is playing, and the moment he touches you, you'll disappear, slipping through his fingers like the early morning mist.
Zayne has dreamt of this moment for so long, thoughts of you haunting him, consuming every fibre of his being until the only thing he could think about was you, you, you. For years he had been forced to watch you through the eyes of the doctor, taunted by the other version of himself that got to hold you.
But not anymore. Now that he had finally found his way to you, he wasn't going to let you go. The doctor could never love you the way he did. You were a ray of sunlight that broke through the darkness that shrouded his life. You were his saviour, his guiding light, you were his.
As Zayne's hand hovers inches from your cheek, you feel a shiver run down your spine, a primal instinct urging you to flee. But you're rooted to the spot, unable to tear your gaze away from his intense, icy eyes. With a trembling breath, you brace yourself for his touch, unsure of what to expect.
Finally, his fingertips brush against your skin, sending a jolt of electricity coursing through your body. His touch is surprisingly gentle, almost tender, but beneath the surface, there's a palpable intensity that sets your nerves on edge. For a moment, the world falls away, and all you can focus on is the sensation of his touch, the way it sends a rush of conflicting emotions swirling through your mind. Fear, desire, uncertainty—they all mingle together in a chaotic symphony that threatens to overwhelm you.
And Zayne feels it too. The warmth of your skin underneath his cold, calloused fingertips is enough to cloud his mind with desire, all thoughts of logic and reason are forgotten as his eyes darken. The tender hold he had on your cheek turns into a bruising grip of your jaw, his other hand encircling your waist, pressing your body tightly against his, strong arm preventing you from escaping. Lowering his face beside your head, 'Zayne' finally speaks, warm breath fanning over your cheek. And although the smooth, deep voice is familiar to you, the darkness of his tone has your body trembling in fear.
"I've waited for this moment for so long. Finally, you're mine. And now that I've got you, I'm never going to let you go."
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ozzgin · 7 days
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Hi hello Ozz the Great hope your having a swell day. Just wanna let you know your OCs, drawings and stories are absolute fantabulously amazing. I usually never had any form of attachments to OCs in general but yours had me in a tight grip ☝️😔 I still vividly remember waking up sweaty and all after I had a dream about being crushed by Suma. Plis send my regards to Suma and give him a lil kiss on the cheek for me.
Hugs and kisses,
Microbial anon 🦠💝
I'm very glad the characters are to your liking, anon! 💕 I was wondering under what context I could draw your fever dream, and as you know my mind mostly works in comedic anime scenes, so…
Suma: Oh? Are you challenging us? I haven’t had my warmup today, what do you say we teach them a lesson, (Y/N)? Suma: ...(Y/N)? You: Can’t…breathe… Suma: Oh! Sorry, I got all heated up. Are you okay? Your face is kind of purple…I hope I didn’t crush your throat. Maybe ask Sakaki to have a look. Sorry. My bad.
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[More yokai harem] | [Character Guide]
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katiemccabeswife · 5 months
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Interactions AWFCxBallerina!Reader
(Fan Girl Pt.2) A social media part of Y/N interacting with the arsenal ladies.
PS I literally hate this but I finally got it to a point where it could be done, please send ideas for the next part 😘
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yourusername
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like by lottewubbenmoy, ballet4_ever and more
yourusername my favourite season with my favourite people 🤍
view 872,990 comments
emily.osborn92 i was there! you were soo good 💕
yourmumsuser endlessly proud ❤️❤️
royaloperahouse always a pleasure working with you
nicol.edmonds favourite girl 🩵
lottlewubbenmoy stunning performance 😍
lottewubbenmoy posted on their story
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yourusername posted on their story
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yourusername posted to their story
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y/nfanpage
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liked by secondhalf.senal and y/ndoesballet
y/nfanpage Y/N interacting with @arsenalwfc and @lottewubbenmoy! does anyone have screen recordings of her live when she was talking about them?
view 43 comments
y/ndoesballet i do! i posted it, let me know if you'd like me to DM it to you 🫶🏼
lw6lover532 who is she?
amandapier32 she's like the world's most famous ballerina??
warsenal231 i love her interactions with Lotte, they are both so wholesome!
As you were cheering from your seat in the crowd after Arsenal succesfully beat Watford 3-1, Lotte caught your eye. She quickly ran over to your section and the people around you started cheering and asking her to sign their things.
"Oi, Y/N get over here!" She shouted into the crowd which made many people turn to you and a light pink blush washed over your cheeks.
As you walked down the stairs towards the barrier you were mumbling apologies to those you bumped into and heard a few people recognise you, "Great game you had, hey?" You offered shyly to the Arsenal player.
"You might be our new lucky charm," She quiped and you both let out a light laugh, "You should come down and meet the girls, they've been buzzing to meet you!"
Your eyes widened at the statement but before you could get a word in she turned to the left slightly and pointed, "Theres Laura and Leah there, come on I'll take you over," She grabbed your hand and directed to you over to where the girls were sitting.
When Leah looked up and noticed you she stood up with a smile on her face, "Oh my god, Y/N hi," She stepped closer to you and wrapped you into a friendly hug.
"Hi," You said breathlessly, in awe of the player infront of you.
"Y/N this is Laura and Leah, girls, this is Y/N. Big fan she is," She teased snarkily.
You turned towards her in betrayel, "I thought we were friends?" You asked with a hand on your heart, "And now your trying to embarrass me infront of some of my favourite players? How dare you?" Your turned you back jokingly on Lotte and gave Laura a hug, "It is so nice to meet you guys, she was right thought. I am a huge fan!" You smiled sheepishly and Lotte shook her head at you in bemusement.
"I'm a big fan of yours aswell, I've been to a few of your shows and every time you amaze me!" Laura complimented.
You placed your hand on your heart, "You have no idea how much that means to me," You pretended to wipe away a tear.
"How about we go say 'hi' to the other girsl?" Leah implored.
A large smile quickly overcame your face, "I would love that!"
The girls lead you to the pitch and you had to take a minute to look around in awe of how many people had come to watch the game, "I think I'd pass out if this many people came to watch me dance," You stated, wonderstruck.
They laughed at you and as you were still looking around the stadium you failed to notice a certain group of players heading your way.
"Hey, is'nt that Y/N?" Viv asked the group as she was looking at Lotte, Leah and Laura talking to someone she couldn't quite recognise.
Beth's head snapped over and she quickly recognised the ballerina looking around the stadium with a dazed look on her face, "Oh, it is! We have to go say 'hi', come on ladies!" She grabbed Viv by the hand and gestured to the rest of the girls to follow.
Movement on the pitch caught your eye and brought you out of your daze but panic was quick to fill you, "Lotte!" You whisper-yelled and grabbed onto her arm.
She looked at you concerned, "What? What's happened?" She looked around for threats becoming confused when she saw none.
You let go of her arm with one hand and placed it on your heart, "They're all coming over," You confided meekly.
Lotte, Laura and Leah laughed lightly at you and looked over your shoulder, "You've got nothing to worry about. They are all lovely and I know most of them have been wanting to meet you," Laura comforted.
Beth had released Viv from her grip and skipped eagerly over to your small group, 'Hiya, y/n/n!" She waved before pulling you into a hug which she broke before you could reciprocate, "It's lovely to meet you, Lotte's talked about you, all nice things of course, and mainly because I've asked about you maybe a million times. I am a huge fan by the way, I've seen quite a few of your shows and you are just magnificent! I can't imagine even trying half the things you do, and you do them with such grace! And-" You were blushing as the blonde continued to compliment you and she was beginning to turn red from lack of oxygen.
While you loved getting compliments, especially from people you look up to, you were grateful when Viv stepped in, "Beth, love, maybe take a breath or you'll pass out," She joked and Beth joined in with the group's light giggling, "It is lovely to meet you, y/n/n, Beth talks about you a lot and I've seen some of your performances, you are incredible," She wrapped her arm around Beth who sunk into her side.
You laughed awkwardly, you could admit you loved being complimented but you could also admit you never knew how to respond, "Thank you, it means a lot." You smiled brightly around the group, "I have to say the same for you lot though, I could never run for 90 minutes or even kick a ball straight for that matter, congratulations as well for the win! I don't actually know all the rules but you guys won so you must of been really good!" You flushed when you realised you had just admitted that you didn't know the rules of football to a group of professional footballers.
"Don't worry, Katie over here sometimes forgets how to legally tackle," Kyra poked.
"You little shit," Kyra took off running when Katie began to chase her.
"She's going to get punched one day that one," Caitlin laughed.
Lotte went around the group that had formed and introduced you to all of her teammates. You guys were stood there for at least 10 minutes just chatting when Lotte turned the conversation back to you, "Would you like to come out with us, y/n/n? We're going to a little restaurant to celebrate, you're more than welcome to come. I'm sure everyone would like to get to know you better," Lotte offered and there were quiet sounds of agreement coming from the girls.
You beamed at the group, "How could I say no?"
yourusername
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like by leahwilliamson, laura_wienroither and others
yourusername i didn't do the best at containing my screams this time, thank you for not running away from me ❤️ congrats pookies x
bethmead_ honour to meet the sugar plum princess
yourusername stop it!
leahwilliamson not only talented by funny as well
yourusername don't worry, everyone already knows that about you
katie_mccabe11 you're not as graceful when you're cheering as you are on a stage 😉
yourusername no need to be nasty now
lottewubbenmoy so nice to see you again!
yourusername my fav pookie x
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bunji-enthusiast · 4 months
Note
I'M IN LOVE WITH YOUR WRITING!!!! 💕💕
No joke, I love reading your stuff! It always has me kicking and giggling :}
I hope you're not stressing yourself out with the writing tho!! I know you prod want it perfect or close enough to it, but please remember it always doesn't have to be 💕
I love dogday as much as the next person but- huggy was my first and even tho you barely even write him I still end up loving him so much when you do lol. I really liked your jealousy one! I was hoping you could do one with huggy?? With an employee reader pls. So sorry if that's every little information, not rlly the best at requesting still.
Tysm!! 💕💕
{So sorry if I send this when request r closed}
Jealous, Jealous Toy
Note || AHHH your so sweet, absolutely I’ll try to write Huggy for this :)
WC || 642
Sypnosis || What happens when a jealous toy gets possessive of an employee?
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Order was an important piece to your life, you liked to be orderly and keep things to an absolute T. Even if it had meant fraternizing with your superiors, though you weren’t much of a sociable person really. Being more so closed off and introverted, you simply had opted to be straightforward and cold when necessary, never to employees younger then you or even lower then your position at Playtime Co.
Many had viewed you as odd when you began talking to the life-sized huggy, made real and ready to always interact with children. Benign enough to be harmless one would guess, just nobody would ever truly understand the level of ferocity one would possess if you were there. If anyone in the room had seen the same thing you did when that very event had happened, nothing was estranged enough to be sure – yet you still couldn’t explain it to this day.
Huggy Wuggy was interesting, strange but very cuddly to hug (as he was made to do). You always had thought he was neat, clean and cool to a point. 
“Hey Huggy! How are you?” Yet ever as always, the Huggy Wuggy statue had remained cold and conclusive, never moving unless it was in strange specific circumstances. “Right.” You never expected him to move anyway, another voice had snapped you out of your thoughts. 
“Hey brat.” Your superior, though he was one of the many, he was like an older brother to you. You thought he was lazy for lack of a better word, but his work ethics and accountability of words from other employees had proved that otherwise. You let out a large breath, stifling a feigned huff. “Yo, what’s your deal Daniel?” You asked him.
He nodded his head at your weaponized words, then walked up to you, laying a hand on your shoulder. “Just needing you to fill out some paperwork, ain’t nothing major then I’ll–” A choked noise escaped his throat, causing you to look up from where you stood, eyeing him wearily as you began to get concerned as to why he looked so pale.
“Daniel.. You alright man?” His hand on your shoulder fell off from where it had laid so gently, Daniel’s other hand raised to the spot he seemed to be in such a ghostly panic about. You too had been shocked, seeing Huggy’s row of teeth hanging over Daniel’s head, you didn’t know what to do. Huggy never had behaved in such a way, leaving you to raise a brow – lips pursed as you maintained calm in the inconceivable silence. 
“Huggy..” You began, raising your hands as a gesture toward Daniel to back away slowly. “Chill out, that’s just my friend.” Daniel had obeyed you, inching away from Huggy who clearly seemed to be pissed off. Conveying a means of anger as his hands were outstretched toward Daniel ever so slightly, Daniel nodded once more and slowly he had done so, trying to get him to cool off at the same time as you were.
“Can you get him to stop.. This?” Daniel whisper-shouted, you shrugged. Then you looked up at Huggy, maintaining a sense of eye contact with his own eyes. It struck a sudden chill throughout your spine, causing you to flinch as you had noticed his murderous intent, now it was slowly dissipating the further away Daniel had gone. “I think he doesn’t like you very much, I’ll come later for those papers all right?” To which he had nodded with an exasperated sigh.
Finally once he was out of sight, Huggy seemed to be less tense now – teeth relaxed and resuming his original position. You sigh, crossing your arms as you try to coerce your own mind about the events that had happened just mere seconds ago.
“Jealousy is not a good look on you my friend.”
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teddywook · 24 days
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anon's request and i loved to did this cus i just love sungchan and good lord i need him as my boyfriend as i need oxygen for live 😩💔
i'm not sure if you was expecting this in spanish or nah but well. i just wrote the way i usually do, hope you like it and not be a big deal for you. thanks for your ask my dear💕
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
bf!sungchan who sends you photos every minute of the day when he can't be with you. pics his lunch, mirror selfies when he's at the gym or photos of random objects that he finds in his way to home
bf!sungchan who secretly (not really) loves it when you shower him with compliments about his appearance. he would send you selfies making cute faces and photos of his outfits so you could tell him how good he looks
bf!sungchan who whenever he can't sleep by your side, video call you so that you are the last thing he sees and hears before closing his eyes
bf!sungchan who wouldn't pass up the opportunity to come to your house with gifts just because he loves to spoil you. your favorite candys, a cherry blossom that fell next to his feet, a new nail polish because he just remembered you wanted to try a different color. no matter what he´s getting for you, he just doesn't want to come to your house and feel like he didn't bring anything to give you
bf!sungchan who as soon as he crosses the door of your apartment, goes in search of you to give you the biggest warmest hug. he picks you up off the ground and spins with you in his arms easily, saying how much he missed his baby
bf!sungchan who plops down on the couch with you locked in his arms. your head buried in his chest, allowing you to hear the hammering of his heart against his chest as he leaves kisses on your head and forehead
bf!sungchan whose favorite nights are the ones spent at your house. lying on your bed, his arms around your waist keeping you as close to his body as possible. his face hidden in the crook of your neck, breathing in the almost faded aroma of your perfume. whether your hands are drawing shapes on his bare biceps or playing with his hair. he proudly assures that it is the best way to sleep
bf!sungchan who his friends tease of comparing him to a puppy, because of the way he behaves around you. always glued to you when you go out, demanding your attention. he can be a little clingy, but please don't blame him, he's just a boy who loves your kisses and cuddles
bf!sungchan is real life prince. holding each door in front of you so you can pass through, opening your chair at restaurant, bending down and putting your foot on his knee to tie your shoelaces, he will give you the first bite of his food so you can taste it and if you like his more than yours, then he'll changes it without doubt. if you're tired of walking, it won't take him two seconds to carry you on his back
bf!sungchan is the sweetest, most thoughtful, caring, and simply the best boyfriend. always showing you how much he cares about your well-being, making you feel safe, loved and respected
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joeys-babe · 5 months
Text
Joey B Blurbs: Yogurt
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Summary: You leave Joe unattended for five minutes, and he thinks that your newly mixed homemade lotion is yogurt…
(Part One to - Part 2)
Warnings: Fluff
Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader
Imagine Universe: Into The Mystic
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*30 weeks pregnant*
Joe and I were at the beginning of getting ready for date night.
It was a pretty chill day at the house so far, we all slept in, had breakfast, and spent the day chilling on the couch.
Joe even tried to teach the twins how to play Super Smash Bros, but I intervened and shut that down pretty quickly.
Now, Joe and I were upstairs in our bathroom getting ready.
I just ironed Joe’s clothes, which I also picked out, and sent him to the bedroom to change while I used the bathroom.
In all honesty, I wasn't using the bathroom, I was setting up a prank.
After posting a couple of my pranks that I've done on Joe on TikTok as a Christmas present to his fangirls, a couple of the other WAGs have sent me ideas to try on him.
Tianna, Cody Ford’s GF, sent me this idea where the girl leaves an unmarked jar of seemingly yogurt out on the counter with a spoon inside of it, her boyfriend thinks it is yogurt and eats it.
Joe has always been one to steal a bite of my food when I wasn't watching, so I knew he'd take the bait.
After I was finished setting up the prank, I called Joe into the bathroom to see his outfit.
“Watcha think?” - Joe
“You look amazing. It's screaming dilf.” - you
“Yeah?” - Joe smirked
He reached out and grazed his fingertips over my bare bump.
It was a date night tradition for me to put my outfit on last. It would be revealed to Joe as he stood at the door, and I walked down the stairs to him.
So for now, I'd wear my undergarments and a robe, or when I'm pregnant, I'd opt for one of Joe’s t-shirts.
“Wait I need to go put some juice pouches in the fridge for the boys’ dinner later.” - you
My phone was already set up discretely in our heated towel rack, so when I left the room I hit the record button on my Apple Watch.
I actually did go downstairs and put juice pouches in the fridge like I said I would and came back upstairs to hear any reaction from Joe.
Just as I am striding into the bathroom, I hear a gagging sound.
Joe was under the faucet, frantically rinsing his mouth out.
“What happened?!” - you
He leaned up and wiped his mouth off with the towel above the toilet, giving me a stank face as he pointed to the jar of lotion.
“Whatever that is, is fucking disgusting.” - Joe
There was so much sassiness behind his tone that I couldn't help but bust out laughing.
“Probably because it's lotion, Joe.” - you
“Lotion?! I thought it was yogurt. It literally has a spoon in it!” - Joe
“That's because I just mixed it up.” - you
That's a lie, I squeezed it out of a bottle into a jar. 
“This is another prank, isn't it? Where's your phone at?!” - Joe
I pointed to the towel rack and Joe slowly rolled his head toward it.
When he saw it, his shoulders dropped defeatedly, and Joe let out a big sigh.
“I got you back.” - you singsonged
I poked him in the stomach repeatedly, and Joe didn't even move just shifted his eyes from the camera to me as he playfully glared.
“Bruh.” - Joe
Giggling as I hugged Joe against me, he patted my back dismissively. He was annoyed but wouldn't ignore my touch.
“You’re lucky I love you.” - Joe
“I know.” - you laughed
Joe ended up laughing with me before pressing a kiss on my forehead.
“Yay. More footage of me getting pranked my teammates are gonna shove in my face.” - Joe
“It’s okay, Joe, I'm sending their girls ideas to prank them too.” - you giggled
“That's my girl.” - Joe kissed your forehead again
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Authors note: the last blurb of the night!
Requests for this fic;
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Hope you enjoyed! 💕
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minisugakoobies · 5 months
Text
It's You - Choi San | First Kiss
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Pairing: San x Reader Genre: smut, crack, fluff, angst, roommates to lovers, BFF's Lil Bro!AU Series Rating: M (18+) Drabble Warnings: angst!, mutual pining comes to a head, or more accurately to lips, aka kissing Word Count: 1.8k (ok it's a little more than a drabble) Disclaimers: NSFW, obviously I don’t own ATZ - they just inspire me
Summary: He was only supposed to be a temporary roommate. Your best friend's little brother, crashing on your couch for a few weeks. That's it. How did this happen?
A/N: Hi, I'm back. This is the first vignette that's not from an ask but just from my own head. I just really wanted to write their first kiss, so I did! I hope you enjoy. 🥰
Taglist is open! Reblog, comment, or send me an ask to be added! You can also send me any ideas/thoughts you might have for a future scenario - who knows, it might end up in a drabble! 💕
It's You Masterlist 🐈‍⬛ ATZ Masterlist 🐈‍⬛ Main Masterlist
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A few weeks after Halloween, Hongjoong invites everyone to a friend’s deejaying gig on the other side of town. Your roommate opts out, saying she’d rather spend one of her rare nights off at her boyfriend’s, so you, San, Wooyoung, and Hongjoong check it out together.
After the gig ends, your ears still ringing, feet aching from all the dancing you did, the four of you make your way home. Wooyoung and Hongjoong both seem hyped from the show, talking excitedly as you wait for the train. You watch them with a fond smile, leaning against the wall and taking turns lifting your feet to take some of the pressure off. 
San joins you. “You okay, Noona?” 
“Yeah. Just wore the wrong boots tonight,” you say. “Didn’t realize we’d be dancing so much.” 
“Oh, yeah. I guess I could’ve warned you,” San grins. “Sorry. We’re not the type to sit through a set.” 
“Clearly,” you reply, smiling back. Honestly, you’d been pleasantly surprised at how well San and his friends dance. They were so free with their movements and their energy had been infectious. You couldn’t have stood still if you’d tried. 
Of course, now you’re paying for it, wincing as your throbbing feet scream at you. You shuffle again, and then, ever-so-gracefully, you lose your balance, tipping over, letting out a loud expletive that draws everyone’s attention. 
Hongjoong and Wooyoung cackle as San grabs your arm, pulling you back upright. 
“No worries, Noona, I’ve got you.” 
He murmurs the words reassuringly, arm sliding from yours to loop around your shoulders, squeezing you into his side, but only for a second, before he scolds the other two for laughing so much. You giggle along as Wooyoung and San pretend to fight, but your heart’s not in it, because it’s still yearning painfully for San to hold you again. Every time he touches you - hugs you goodbye, cuddles with you on the couch, even the briefest moments of contact like just now - it leaves this black hole inside your chest, an endless gnawing need for more and more and more. 
At some point, you won’t be able to withstand it anymore. You’re not sure what will happen then.
The train car is crowded when your group enters. Unfortunately for your tired feet, there's nowhere to sit, and blessed little space to stand, so everyone splits up, trying to find room for themselves. Except for San, who guides you towards the opposite doors with a gentle touch on your back, and then stands beside you, reaching overhead to hold on while your hands curl around a pole. 
Some creepy guy already too close on your right leans over, trying to get an eyeful of your chest, and San smoothly slides around, blocking you from the asshole’s view. You smile gratefully, and he gives you an intimidating look but undercuts his mean mugging with an eyebrow wiggle, and you giggle, which then makes him grin, a chain reaction of happiness that leaves you buzzing. 
The gentle sway of the car as it hurdles down the tracks shakes you. You bump into San with a horribly steady rhythm, feeling sheepish for not having a strong enough core to keep yourself upright and balanced for more than a second at a time. He just laughs, finally throwing an arm around your back to help.
His hold is light, leaving a big sliver of air between you, a respectful distance that frankly makes you wish he’d be disrespectful. But he maintains it, supporting you in the most polite way, and somehow it still makes your heart jump fast as the wheels spinning beneath your feet.  You turn your head, focusing on the window on the door, watching your reflection as the dark tunnels roll by. 
At the next stop, more people pack themselves into the car. The small bubble of space around you pops as the wave of humanity rolls you into San, and you bring your hands up, bracing yourself against his chest, eyes widening at the solid warmth beneath your fingertips. 
“Shit, sorry, sorry.” You apologize profusely, trying to step away, but the train jerks again, jostling you, and San tightens his grip, pulling you back into his arms. 
“It’s ok,” he mutters, in a quiet voice. “I told you. I’ve got you.” 
When your gazes meet, it’s like the air has been sucked from the car. Something shimmers in his dark eyes as they roam your face, and you utter his name unthinkingly, a tiny “San” just slipping from your open mouth, but it feels like a rogue confession of something you’ve been denying for so long. You’re not sure if he heard it but he definitely saw it because he’s been staring at your lips for a few seconds now.
You lean in at the same time he tilts his chin forward, and your mouths meet in the middle. A light kiss, feather soft, like testing the waters. The next one lingers, his lips firmer against yours. His hand splays on your back. You twist your fingers into the front of his t-shirt. 
A third press weakens your knees, as his mouth slots against yours. Lips move together, part, allowing him to breathe in your little gasp. 
The train emerges from the tunnel, and suddenly the lights in the car blast on as it comes to a slow stop at the next station. Immediately, you spring back, and so does San. 
His expression is searing, and you glance away, looking to see if any of your friends are nearby, but the only one you can glimpse is Hongjoong. He’s got his back to you, a few feet and a dozen people away. 
When the train starts up again, a few riders lighter, San loosens his grip, hand gliding up to a spot between your shoulders, far from the small where it had just been resting. By the time you reach your stop, his arm is more hovering than touching.
You and San find Hongjoong a few feet ahead of you when you depart. Wooyoung’s still on the train, since his place is closer to the next stop. Hongjoong slows his quick stride enough for you to catch up. 
“You guys up for some ramen?” he asks, like he always does on late nights like this. You and San look at each other, and you don’t know if it’s the dim streetlights or what, but you can’t read his expression.
“Nah, I’m good,” San answers.
“I think I’m just gonna go to bed,” you start to say at the same time, cutting off to let San finish and then repeating yourself with a nervous laugh.
“‘Kay.” Hongjoong bears the rejection with his usual nonchalance. “I’ll see you later.” He crosses the street, heading for the convenience store on the next block. 
And it’s just the two of you now, walking in silence. Two more blocks and you’ll be home. One more block. Just up the stairs now. Key in door, door closed, shoes off. 
You stare at each other. He blinks first.  
“Should we - “
“Did you want to - “
“Hey guys.” 
Your roommate comes padding out of the kitchen, cup of tea in hand. 
“Hey!” you nearly shout. “I thought you were staying over at Jongho's?” 
If she’s surprised by the volume of your voice, Haneul doesn’t show it. She shrugs. “Yunho was being annoying, so I left.” 
Yunho is Jongho’s roommate. He’s rarely at their apartment on the weekends. Just your luck that this would be the one night a year he strikes out and goes to his own bed instead of someone else’s.
Or maybe it’s for the best. Because it’s not too late to stop now before you do something else. Something potentially foolish. Let it just be a kiss. A one-time loss of rationality. Of caution. 
Even if you can’t stop thinking about that night at the bar. Sitting there with San’s arms wrapped around you just felt so right. 
Even if it’s been ages since you felt this way about someone. 
Even if you’re pretty sure you’re falling for San. 
“Are you going to bed or are you gonna stay up for a bit?” Haneul asks, taking a seat on the couch. 
“Um…” you fight the impulse to glance at San. “I don’t know. I’m not really tired or anything….” Truth be told, you’re a little wired now. “Why?” 
“I was thinking of starting that new drama Jongho told us about. Wanna join me?” She pats the space next to her.
San mumbles something about taking a shower. You watch him leave the room, and it feels like whatever happened on the train is already fading away. Did it really happen, or was it just a dream? Are your fantasies bleeding over into your waking hours now? 
San joins you and Haneul near the end of the first episode, taking a spot on the floor in front of the couch so he can stretch out. He looks so soft, with his dark hair freshly fluffed from a towel, dressed in his favorite hoodie and sweats, and it’s a struggle to keep your focus on the television and not wonder what would’ve happened had Haneul not been home.
Part of you wishes San would catch you looking. But you’re not sure you could handle it if you met his gaze right now and didn’t find what you were hoping to find. 
It’s actually a little odd how quiet he is, staring so intently at the show that you are completely ignoring. Is he doing the same thing you are, replaying the moment in his mind? Trying to freeze it in your memory?
Your stomach drops as you consider another possibility. What if he thinks the kiss was a mistake? 
By the time the third episode is over, you’re exhausted, from your night out but also from the mental gymnastics you’ve been performing, silently twisting yourself into knots thinking about San and the train and what could happen versus what should. So you excuse yourself for the safety of your bedroom, where you can dream in peace.
Nero’s already curled up on his favorite spot on your bed, right next to where you lay your head. He cracks an eye open as you flop down beside him, and you reach out to give him an apologetic scritch, when you catch a scrap of paper poking out from beneath him. A note, with San's handwriting. He must’ve slipped it on your pillow after his shower. The first sentence sends relief flooding through you.
I don’t regret it. 
But it’s what’s written next that has you rereading the note over and over. It’s a simple sentence, just a pleading command, but to you, it’s a revelation. 
Please tell me you want more too.
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If you liked this fic, please consider reblogging! Likes do not help it get seen by other readers. 💕
Taglist: @sweetnspicy-noona @krystal-a @jennylychee
© 2023-24 by minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost. I do not allow translations of my work.
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abigails-gf · 1 month
Note
can you write reader and Abby watching a sad movie and Abby sees reader crying so she comforts her 💕
abby anderson x f!reader.
a/n: hiii nonnie !! thank you sm for sending this request. :3 i cry so much while watching movies. omg. the last movie i cried for was puss in boots 2 :(( saw it for the first time two weeks ago and it was so so good. cried when mama bear said that they'll love goldie even if she decides to give up on them for her wish n stuff. aah. anyway !! i hope you enjoy this. it's a bit short, but i think it's cute !! <3 also, 'm working on a longer request which (hopefully) will be up next week. and i'm sooo excited !! okiii byeee !! mwaaahh 💌💕
how you can help palestine, israeli themes in tlou, more ressources !
you and abby had decided to have a movie night once a week. you'd spend the night at her apartment, bringing some snacks with you. and she'd take care of dinner.
tonight, you two were watching a movie she had picked. you ate while watching the first part of the movie, and then cuddled on her couch.
"oh, no! what is she doing? she can't just leave them like that!" you said, talking about the main character deciding to leave her family. abby stayed quiet and squeezed your hand in hers.
as the movie progressed, nearing the end, she looked at you. you were focused on the tv, the glow of it lighting your face – she noticed tears falling down your cheeks. she chuckled. "baby..." she cupped your cheek as you finally turned to her, sniffling. "oh, honey..." she smiled softly at you as you shook your head. "'m sorry, it's so stupid. it's just a stupid movie..." she laughed a little and hugged you. "oh, baby..." she kissed your cheeks. "it's okay. don't apologise for that." she hugged you until the movie was over.
"it's already over?!" you yelled at the tv. abby giggled and caressed your arm. "calm down, baby. it's just a movie." you hugged your girlfriend as she kept on rubbing your arm. "this movie was shit."
abby laughed and kissed your head. "yeah. the movie was so shitty, you cried." she teased. you looked up at her, slapping her chest. "shh. don't make fun of me." she couldn't help but chuckle. "not making fun of you, baby. would never do that."
you rolled your eyes and kissed her. she kissed you back softly, pressing you against her. "sweet girl..." she whispered into the kiss. you smiled and kissed her some more, as her hands travelled to your lower back. "seriously, abby, don't you ever pick a movie like this." she looked at you and caressed your cheek. "next time you'll pick the movie." she said, giving you a peck. "don't like seeing my sweet girl cry." she kissed you once more.
you two laid down on the couch, cuddling. your head on abby's chest as she rubbed your back. "baby? you alright?" she spoke softly, starting to play with your hair. you didn't answer, soft breaths coming out of your mouth.
you had fallen asleep. abby smiled at the sight. she continued to play with your hair for a few minutes before gently getting up, putting your head down on a pillow. she leaned down and kissed your head. "goodnight, sweetheart." she whispered before picking up the dishes.
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proxima-writes · 9 months
Text
𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀, 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓?
PAIRING: Ex-Boyfriend!Dieter Bravo x Female Reader
RATING: Explicit (18+ MDNI)
WORD COUNT: 3k
SUMMARY:
Your ex-boyfriend, Dieter Bravo, is in town and sends you a text. Meeting up with an ex, especially one you’re still in love with, is a bad idea, right? Based on the song “bad idea, right?” by Olivia Rodrigo
DEAR READER:
My first Dieter Bravo fic! If you enjoy, please consider leaving a comment or reblogging 💕 You can also support my writing through my kofi Dividers and banners by @saradika
CONTENT WARNINGS:
explicit sexual content (18+ minors do not interact), no use of y/n, no referenced age difference, dubcon - alcohol consumption prior to sexual activity, domme/sub dynamics, sub!dieter, teasing, masturbation (f), oral (f receiving), praise, pet names, begging, unprotected p in v, love confessions, dieter being bad with feelings and words. please let me know if any are missing!
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Dieter sits on the couch in the penthouse hotel room he's currently renting in New York, phone in one hand and a fresh Salty Dog in the other. The TV flickers with a porn he rented after not finding anything worth watching on the limited number of free channels and to be honest, he likes the background noise of moans and skin slapping against skin to fill the silent void.
He scrolls through Twitter as he sips his drink. There's one tweet that catches his eye, a familiar name in the hashtag that gives him pause. A glutton for punishment, he clicks the hashtag, his screen flooded with cell phone quality pictures of you, enjoying a night out.
In New York.
It's a blurry photo of you on a rooftop in a sexy outfit that looks like it was made just for you, a shimmery black fabric hugging all your curves just right. You're surrounded by people he doesn't recognize and your head is thrown back in an easy laugh.
Dieter frowns. He used to make you laugh like that.
Dieter scrolls some more, a glutton for punishment, and comes across another picture, a different angle, but this time there's a man leaning into your space, mouth close to your ear and an arm settled at the base of your spine. He takes a hearty sip of his drink, wincing at the bitter taste as he sets the glass on the coffee table.
He closes Twitter and opens his messages, scrolling until he finds your name.
wyd?
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Your phone buzzes in your hand and the name that flashes across the screen has your breath catching.
Dieter: wyd?
You roll your eyes at the message. Of course.
You set your phone down on the table and look up, catching the judgmental stare of your best friend, Melanie.
"What?" You ask. She raises her eyebrows at you.
"That was very much the Dieter Bravo eye roll," she says, tone accusatory. "Did he just text you?"
"No."
Your phone buzzes a second time and her eyes drop to the screen, her hand reaching across the table to snatch it before you even have time to blink.
"'I'm in New York'?" She reads. "Oh my god, he did not send you a 'wyd' text!"
You're in a nice restaurant with a six month long waitlist for a reservation so you're desperately trying to keep yourself from launching across the table at her to get your phone back but the urge is certainly strong. Pinching the bridge of your nose, you hold your hand out to her. "Give me my phone."
"Are you going to text him back?"
"No." Yes.
The look she gives you momentarily leaves you wondering if she can actually read minds. You straighten yourself in your seat, tilting your chin defiantly as you say, "I am a grown adult who can make her own decisions."
"Yes, but that doesn't mean you always make good ones," Melanie replies, handing you your phone.
"It's a bad idea, right?" You ask. "Like...an extremely bad one?"
"Catastrophic even," she agrees. “He’s your ex for a reason!”
“Okay, but can’t two people reconnect? Isn’t the goal to be like…friends or something?”
You stare at each other for a moment. Her smile falters. "Oh my god, you're going to answer."
"I'm going to answer." Your fingers fly across the screen and hit send before you allow your logic to return.
Address?
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The car you ordered pulls up to a boutique hotel, the kind that has a symbol for its sign instead of a name, and the driver comes around the front of the car and opens the door for you, holding a hand out to help you from your seat. You thank him and take a deep breath before entering the glittering lobby.
There's a separate elevator for the penthouse suite and the attendant on duty asks for your name, checking an iPad in his hands before pressing the button with a gloved fingertip. Once the car arrives and the shiny golden doors silently slide open, you step inside.
You stare at your reflection in the doors as the elevator rises, wondering why you're doing this. Your relationship with the actor lasted about eight months - long enough for you to fall in love and long enough for him to decide he was bored of you. After citing scheduling issues as his reason for breaking things off, you went back to hearing about him rather than from him and trying to fix the cracks in your life that he had left behind.
When the elevator stops and the doors slide open, Dieter is standing there with his familiar messy brown curls in disarray, a hotel robe open over his chest and tied loosely around his waist. He opens his arms wide as he grins.
"Hey, baby. Miss me?" He asks. You roll your eyes.
"Like a cavity, Bravo,” you reply, but your feet still guide you forward and you let yourself get enveloped in his embrace, the familiar smell of faded cologne and weed invading your senses. “Why did you text me?”
“Why did you come?” He asks.
“I asked you first.” You pull away, stepping around him and entering the living room of the large suite.
“You want a drink? I got you that wine you like,” Dieter says, pulling a bottle from an ice bucket set on a room service cart. He holds a glass up and you nod, watching as he fights with the corkscrew.
He finally gets the bottle popped, pouring each glass to the brim and stepping carefully across the room with one in each hand, settling beside you on the couch. He passes one to you and you take a quick sip to prevent disaster. Dieter opts to chug half of his serving in one go.
“So,” he says, drawing the word out, “You wanna have sex with me?”
You drain the rest of your glass, leaning forward to set it on the coffee table beside his. You kick your heels off, shifting in your seat until you’ve got your knees beneath you, pressed into the cushion. Planting a hand on his shoulder for stability, you swing one leg over him and settle on his lap.
“This is a bad idea, right?” You ask, face close enough to his that your lips nearly touch when you speak. His hands slide up your thighs.
“Probably,” he agrees, brown eyes half lidded as he stares at you.
“Fuck it, it’s fine,” you decide, pressing your lips to his. Your mouths move together hungrily, six months apart fueling a fire that’s ready to burn you alive.
“Fucking hell,” Dieter groans, hips bucking up and dragging his hardening cock against your center. “Want you so goddamn bad.”
“How bad?” You ask, already breathless as he trails his lips down your neck, his beard scratching the thin skin over your rapid pulse.
“Thought of you every time I fucked my hand.” A bite to your throat has you hissing from the combination of pleasure and pain. You tangle your fingers in his hair, tugging his head back in retaliation. “Even bought one of those pocket pussy things. Didn’t even come close.”
That gives you pause. With six months gone between the breakup and now, you would have thought he’d been drowning in women and men clamoring at the chance to fuck him.
You kiss him again, your tongues sliding together in a messy, dirty dance you’ve missed more than you care to voice. Your hips move over his while his hands explore every exposed inch of you they can find.
“Take your clothes off,” he demands when his lips break from yours.
“Ask nicely,” you chastise. His brown eyes go wide, a pathetic puppy dog glimmer in them.
“Please,” he begs. “Pretty please, with a cherry on top?”
You stand, laughter spilling from your lips as you reach for zipper at your back, tugging it down slowly while he watches. He licks his lips like he’s being presented a six course meal and his hands curl into the material of the robe that’s fallen open, giving you an unobstructed view of a broad chest and soft tummy. You turn your back to him, easing the sleeves of the dress off your shoulders slowly.
“Come on, baby,” Dieter whines. “Quit teasing.”
“Good things come to boys who wait,” you tell him, shimmying the fabric over your hips, bending at the waist to ease the dress over the curve of your ass and down to the floor. This leaves you in only a thong, the red straps of it a gorgeous contrast to your skin that you know he’ll go crazy for.
“Fuck. Me.”
You turn back around to face him, the man’s eyes dropping immediately to your breasts. He raises his arms, making grabby hand motions toward your chest that have you giggling.
“What if,” you tap your finger to your chin in thought, “I just wanted you to watch me?”
Dieter pouts. “I could be a lot more help with my cock,” he argues.
“Hmm.” You take a seat on one of the cushy arm chairs in the sitting area, spreading your legs wide. “I’ve been doing just fine these last six months without it,” you tell him, sliding a hand beneath the elastic of your panties.
“This is fucking cruel and unusual punishment,” Dieter says. “A violation of the Geneva Convention.”
“Always so dramatic,” you reply as you circle your clit with your fingertips. He leans forward on the couch, hands gripping the cushion tightly as he watches. “You want a closer look, baby?”
He nods his head rapidly and you lift your hips to shove your panties down your legs, gathering them in your hand and tossing them at his face. The wad of fabric drops to his lap and he balls it up in his fist and brings it to his nose.
“Pervert,” you say affectionately. You hook your leg over the arm of the chair, spreading yourself wide for his gaze. You tease your clit with two fingers, trailing them lower to your entrance and dipping one inside, your head dropping back against the chair with your moan.
The sound of skin sliding over skin reaches your ears and when you look up, you find that Dieter has shoved his boxers down to where they now sit looked around his ankles, his thick cock caught in the tight grip of his fist. You lift your hand away, closing your legs and leaning forward with your eyes narrowed.
“Now, Dieter, I don’t remember saying you could touch yourself,” you say.
“Can’t touch you, can’t touch myself,” he whines, releasing his cock and gripping the couch cushion. “C’mon, baby. Please? I’ve missed yo—“
“Cut!” You yell. Dieter’s mouth snaps shut in surprise. “That wasn’t a very Oscar worthy performance, Di. I think you can do better than that.”
His blank stare morphs into heated understanding and you watch as he slowly slides from the couch and lands on his knees. He slips the robe from his shoulders, leaving him gloriously naked. You take a moment to appreciate the muscles of his chest and arms, his softer belly dusted with hair that draws your eye to his flushed cock and his strong thighs.
Then he starts to crawl.
Those big brown eyes of his look up at you with so much desperation and, dare you say it, adoration that your heart skips a beat as he moves closer. When he reaches your feet, he sits back on his heels and settles his hands on his thighs.
“Please, baby,” he murmurs. “Let me touch you. Let me show you how much I’ve missed you. You know me, my tongue is much better at giving you an orgasm than it is with words.”
“Fine,” you say, tone implying he’s inconveniencing you with his desire. He grins, his hands immediately grabbing at your thighs and tugging your ass to the edge of the seat. He positions your legs over each arm of the chair before diving in with his talented tongue, licking through your slick folds with practiced finesse.
“Fucking hell,” he groans, sucking your clit between his lips. “Your pussy is even better than that six course meal we had at that pretentious restaurant in Paris.”
“L’Arpege?” You gasp, fingers tangling in his hair. “You never told me you didn’t like it. I only picked it because of your two month experiment with veganism!”
“Wasn’t there for the fucking food,” he says. Two fingers press to your soaked entrance, sliding into your tight heat with little resistance.
Your head is spinning, stars bursting in your vision as his thick digits curl against your G-spot. His other hand presses on the top of your pelvis and the look in his eyes tells you exactly what his goal is.
“Dieter,” you say, his name a warning as you squirm beneath him. He grins up at you from between your legs.
“How’s my performance now?” He asks. “Oscar worthy yet?”
“Nominated at best,” you bite back through gritted teeth despite the pressure building in your core. He wraps his lips around your clit and sucks hard, tongue flicking rapidly against the bundle of nerves until that pressure bursts as you cry out, “Oh, fuck!”
The orgasm he pulls from you is overwhelming and leaves you gasping, vision blurry as you look down at Dieter’s smug expression and dripping chin. He runs a hand over his chin, collecting your release on his palm and using it to ease the friction of his hand as it pumps his cock roughly.
“‘Nominated at best’,” he says, voice pitched higher to mimic yours. “Please, that was the performance of a lifetime.”
“Don’t get cocky, Di,” you mumble, planting a foot on his chest and pushing him back. He topples over, landing on his back with an oof.
You drop from the chair and crawl over his body, making sure to drag your soaked pussy across his cock. Your hands are planted on the floor on either side of his head and you stare down at his blissed out face as you rock over him.
Dieter’s hands grip your hips tightly. “Don’t good performances get awarded?” He asks, voice tight.
You reach down between your bodies to hold his cock steady, allowing you to sink down slowly, his thick length damn near splitting you open. You’ve missed this, the way he fills every inch of your hungry cunt, the way he looks at you like you’re the best damn thing he’s ever laid eyes on.
Which is saying something because the man knows art and is constantly surrounded by beautiful people but you’ve only seen this look when you’re alone with him, at the end of a long day on set or when you finally stumbled home together from a night out. It’s the way his eyes go soft and his touch grows reverent, fingertips gliding over whatever skin he can reach with a featherlight touch, and the combination wipes the dust off memories with him you’d been trying to forget and move on from.
“Dieter,” you say, voice shaky. You rock your hips, lifting slightly to your knees and relishing the drag of his cock inside of you before you slam your hips back down. “God, fuck, feel so good.”
“Your pussy was made for my fucking cock,” he says through gritted teeth, his hands gripping your hips tightly and encouraging each rock of your body. “Missed this, missed you, fuck. Love you so much.”
You stop abruptly, the man beneath you whining. You grip him by the chin as you ask, “You what?”
“I…uh…shit,” he mumbles. “I didn’t mean to say it.”
“Oh.” You let go of his face, sitting up straight. “I see.”
“No, no,” he rushes to say. “That’s not what I meant.”
It occurs to you that you’re still impaled on his cock and this doesn’t exactly feel like a conversation to be had in that position. You make a move to get up but strong hands hold you steady in his lap.
“I just meant,” he say, fingers flexing nervously against your thighs. “I didn’t mean to say it right now. Like…I wanted you to maybe not hate me for a bit before I professed my love or whatever.”
“I don’t get it,” you admit. “I thought you just texted me to hookup because you were in town.”
“I’m in town for you.”
“For me?”
Dieter nods. “I’m not good with words that aren’t written for me. Too much going on up here,” he says, tapping his forehead. “But I haven’t stopped thinking about you since we broke it off and I feel like that’s a cosmic sign that we’re meant to be or whatever.”
“Oh my god, you really are bad with words,” you say with a laugh. “Meant to be, huh?”
“Or whatever,” he finishes. “Marriage is a scam.”
“Right, right,” you murmur, rocking your hips the slightest bit. “Total scam.”
“It’s just a way for the governme—oh, fuck,” he says, words trailing off into a moan as you pick up your pace again, your hands on his chest to steady yourself. “Just like that, baby.”
“You’re lucky I missed you, too,” you tell him, gasping when his hips flex to meet yours. Your communication with each other devolves into moans and the movement of your bodies until the desperation you feel for one another reaches its peak.
Dieter wraps both arms around your lower back as you cum, holding you to him as your cunt squeezes around his cock. It’s only a moment before you feel him pulsing, warmth pooling inside of you as your orgasm starts to fade. You collapse against his chest, breathing heavily and listening to the rapid beat of his heart beneath your ear.
He rubs his hands up and down your back as you both catch your breath, sweat cooling between you in the chill of the hotel room.
“You wanna order pizza?” He asks. You turn your face into his chest, muffling your laughter into his skin.
“Absolutely.”
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maidragoste · 8 months
Text
Things I think Jacaerys Velaryon would do if he were your boyfriend
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This whole week I was thinking about Jacaerys so I ended up writing this
Reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated. I hope you like it 🥰🥰💕💕
Disclaimer: English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.
•Let me tell you that if English is not your first language then Jacaerys LOVES it when you speak in your native language. He is always very curious about the difference between their languages, he asks you if some words have a different meaning in your country. I see him going to the supermarket with you and at some point he starts asking you what they call a certain product in your country.
•Jace would work hard to learn your native language. Most of the time his pronunciation is clumsy but every time you hear him speaking in your native language you feel like you fall in love with him ten thousand times more.
The word he knows how to say best is "I love you" because he never stops saying it to you.
•If you are vegetarian or vegan I can see Jace searching the internet for good places to go eat together. He loves trying new food with you.
Plus his house is always stocked with a couple of vegan products. One time he got mad at Luke because when you came to see him there were no more of your vegan cookies left because his brother ate them and didn't tell him.
•Sometimes when you feel like painting your nails but you're in lazy mode Jace ends up being the one to do it for you. The two of you talk nonsense while he carefully runs the polish over your nails.
•Every time he sees a tik tok from a series or a book that he knows you like, he sends it to you.
•Whenever you're too caught up in studying, Jace reminds you to hydrate and eat something. Most of the time he orders something from your favorite fast food place to give you a pamper after so many hours of studying.
•I see Jacaerys as someone very touchy. Every time you go out together he can't be without holding your hand or his hand around your waist or at least hugging you by the shoulders. He needs to have you close.
•After seeing your reaction to letting her hair long. Jacaerys stopped wearing it short. He loves seeing how nervous you get every time he catches you staring at him. He always teases you by making you pout and he loves kissing you.I only know that Jacaerys pretends to forget his clothes at your house but in reality he does it on purpose because he loves to see you later wearing his clothes.
•My man has two playlists about you. One with all your favorite songs and another with the songs that make him think of you. In the latter there are these songs:
"You can hear it in the silence, silence, you
You can feel it on the way home, way home, you
You can see it with the lights out, lights out
You are in love, true love" — You Are in Love, Taylor Swift.
"Cause all of the small things that you do
Are what remind me why I fell for you
And when we're apart, and I'm missing you
I close my eyes and all I see is you
And the small things you do" — Those Eyes, New West.
"I wanna be your vacuum cleaner
Breathing in your dust
I wanna be your Ford Cortina
I will never rust
If you like your coffee hot
Let me be your coffee pot
You call the shots, babe
I just wanna be yours" — I Wanna Be Yours, Arctic Monkeys.
I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you
(I can never look away)
I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you— Daylight, Taylor Swift.
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Taglist for all my House of the Dragon works:
@chaotic-fangirl-blog @venus-flytrap3 @ajordan2020 @iloveallmyboys @sweethoneyblossom1 @fudge13 @crystal-faith @cicaspair418 @tita004 @ichanelvxgue @snowprincesa1 @joyouart @rosey1981 @alastorhazbin @papichulo120627 @apollonshootafar @jasminecosmic99 @diorchaiamet @partypoison00 @camy85 @fluffly @rebelliuna @bxdbxtxh15 @impartinghades @targaryenmoony @thegirlnextdoorssister @angeliod @snh96 @aleemendoza2425-blog @lizlovecraft @natashaobo @nyenye @savagemickey03
Tumblr won't let me tag them: @arabis-world @nzygftoji @lauufeysonnn @Snileykiddie08 @pictureofcaroline @sydneyyyya
@minaxcarter @marytargaryen @bugheadkids @missusnora @sabi127 @buckysmainhxe
If you want to be part of my taglist
hotd masterlist
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yelenasdiary · 5 months
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I had a random idea for a fic and just wanted the share! Basically Florence meets R at a meet and greet type thing and notices the cuts on her arm and reaches out after the meet and greet? Just an idea 💕 Sending love and if your not comfortable with this request that’s okay!
A Little Change
Pairing: Florence Pugh x Reader 
Summary: Meeting Florence at a comic con was a dream come true & being so caught up in the moment, you weren’t aware that Florence saw how much you were struggling. 
Angst, Comfort
Warnings: Mentions of self-harm & cuts, Depression | 1.4K
AC: Please only read this if you are comfortable! My asks/dms are always open for anybody who needs somebody to talk too, even if you just need to scream! I’m sending everybody love and hugs! I used reference from another message Flo sent to a lucky fan and tweaked it a little! I hope you enjoy x 
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Nerves filled your body as you waited patiently in line to be the next person to meet one of your idols. You've been counting down to this moment since your local comic con announced the guest line up. 'Florence Pugh'in black bold letters making your heart skip a beat as you make sure to set a timer on your phone for when the tickets went on sale. It was no doubt one of the most stressful 20 minutes of your life when they went on sale, but luck was on your side, and you were able to buy a meet and greet token as well as an autograph token. 
"Please place your phone in the basket" the security spoke kindly to you. Professional photos were being taken and mobile phones weren't allowed in the room, you didn't care though. You were meeting Florence Pugh in a matter or seconds. You placed your phone in the small basket and smiled softly at the security guard. 
"Don't be nervous" he said, catching you slightly off guard. "She's lovely, you'll love every second of it" he added. 
"Thank you" you replied with another soft smile just as the photographer called for the next person, you. 
The security guard spread open the curtain for you as your eyes saw the first glimpse of Florence who was wearing a pink tank cropped tee with denim jeans finished with a white and light pink striped shirt. She smiled warmly at you as you nervously walked up to her. 
"Hi! What's your name?" she asked in her thick, raspy British accent. 
"Hi!" you smiled, "I'm Y/n" you added. 
"I'm Florence! It's lovely to meet you, Y/n" she smiled before embracing you in a welcoming hug. She smelt of vanilla hint of floral citrus, no doubt it was probably one of the many Valentino perfumes. The hug lasted longer than you thought, going into these events you knew the interactions would be short and sweet, two minutes at the most. 
"I just wanna say how much I love you in Little Women, but I will always love Black Widow!" you said once you were both looking at one another again, Florence's hands on your biceps as she smiled softly. 
"Thank you so much, I'm glad you love them" she replied, "I love your necklace, it's beautiful!" she added while eyeing off the gold necklace that had a heart pendant with the first letter of your name on it. "Oh this? it's just an old necklace I've had since forever" you chuckled, "but thank you!" you quickly added so you didn't sound rude.
"Shall we take a picture?" Florence asked, her smile never leaving her lips. Somehow Florence was able to make you forget that you were meeting somebody you looked up to a lot and more like you were just having out with a friend. Your nervous had disappeared and your smile only grew bigger knowing you'd never forget this event. 
The two of you turned to face the photographer, "Do you mind if I put my arm around you?" you asked out of respect. Florence nodded, "you're so kind for asking" she said before looking back towards the camera. "Do you mind if we pull a silly face?" you asked. Again, Florence nodded before the two of you pulled a goofy face as the photography's camera flashed it's bright light. 
Once the photo was taken, you turned to face Florence once more, accidentally dropping your paper token on the floor. As you reach down to grab it, Florence noticed the red cuts on your wrist. Out of respect she didn't say anything, but she couldn't understand why somebody as sweet as you was hurting so much. 
"Thank you so much for coming today, it was an honour to meet you" Florence smiled soft at you once more. "I should be thanking you! Coming all this way, it means a lot and I will remember this for the rest of my life" you replied.
"Oh, stop it! You're too kind!" Florence chuckled before embracing you in one last hug, "have a wonderful rest of your day!" she added. 
"I will! I'll see you again at the autograph table!" you smiled as you were being rushed out for the next person. 
----
Later that night after checking the comic con's website over and over for the uploads of the meet and greet photos, your photo was finally uploaded. Saving it to your phone and making it your new wallpaper, you decided to post it to Instagram. 
"yourusername: It was a dream meeting you today! Thank you so much!! @florencepugh" 
A smile tugged at your lips as you stared at the image on your phone before falling asleep. 
The morning sun warmly kissed your face as it crept into your bedroom through the crack in your curtain, waking you softly with its warmth. You groaned softly before stretching and reaching over to see what the time was. 10:45am in bold stare back at you until your eyes dropped to the notification that made your heart skip a beat. 
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You read the notification to yourself a million times thinking you were just dreaming before you unlocked your phone and punched in your passcode. Your thumb hovered over the Instagram app for a moment before opening it. Your mind was racing as to why Florence would be messaging you, or how she even found your Instagram. There it was, 1 message notification and over 20 notifications from people liking and commenting on your meet & greet photo with Florence.
The blue tick next to Florence's name only made your heart beat faster knowing it was actually Florence and not just some poser or a fan page with a similar username. You took a moment to calm yourself before opening the message, curious as to why she was reaching out to you, it just felt like a dream.
-Florence Pugh:
Hey lovely! I hope it's okay I reach out like this…it was lovely meeting you yesterday, you're a very sweet and funny person! I hope to meet you again someday soon! 
I don't mean to overstep anything, but I noticed something that worried me when we met yesterday, and I just wanted to make sure you're okay and that you're not alone. 
I can understand how feeling low and broken can feel. It's so hard pulling yourself out of a pit when you feel like you're sat at the bottom of the pit. I just want to say I'm so sorry you feel this way and that you feel the need to self-harm. 
Sometimes I feel the same as you, I feel weak and broken and I don't know how to look up but I have learnt that the moment you sense yourself falling, you HAVE to kick your mind and body into a different gear. Moving your body will automatically release serotonin and will help your mood!
Make a happy playlist, add music from all around the world that makes you happy. Add to it daily, I do this when I am sad. 
You're human and sometimes we feel extremely happy and sometimes we feel extremely low. Learn to acknowledge that this happens and be kind to yourself. You're amazing, you deserve happiness, you deserve to love yourself, you deserve good friends, and you deserve to be a good friend. All these skills take years to learn about yourself, so I'm not expecting you to turn it around tomorrow! Just do a little bit a day. 
A little change here and there and most importantly, don't think of yourself as a screw up or that you're worthless! The world is at your fingertips! 
Can you promise me something? No matter how low and broken and weak you feel, always try and find something that you know will make you get up and move. Whether its doing a stupid dance to a song in your bedroom or walk around a park and see all the colours around you, cook something colourful, fresh and tasty! 
You're amazing, never forget that! 
All my love, 
Florence xx-
Her message brought tears to your eyes, leaving you speechless. You took a mental note on some of the tips that Florence mentioned. You promised not only Florence but yourself to try them when your thoughts got dark again, when you felt low and alone. You wanted the cuts on your arm would fade to scars, you wanted to be happy and overcome the darkness that had a hold over you. You wanted the next time you'd meet Florence you'd be able to tell her how far you've come and just how much you needed her message without even knowing it. 
All these things you mentioned in your reply, promising her that next time you both share a hug that you'll hug her a little tighter and thank her for being the inspiration and role model she is too you.
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