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charlesswife · 1 year

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Una Noche En Mónaco i

Vaya noche la de anoche. (What a night last night)

unem master list

pairing: charles leclerc x latina! reader

summary: after a one night stand between you and charles, charles continues on with his f1 career. until two months later, you come back claiming to be pregnant with his child.

warning: bad writing, charles is a bit of an asshole at first, is going to be a series. google translate because I do not speak french. teen pregnancy (very cliche, I know. I'm sorry)

a/n: this is based on the idea i posted yesterday, which you all seem to like a lot. i want to clarify that english isn't my first language so please be kind if you see any error, i am trying my best. Also I am very new to formula one, i am binge watching drive to survive and the races. also i hope the timeline is correct lmao. ALSO i am not very great at writing smut so don't expect to see smut until i get better at writing it. enjoy!

word count: 1,771

Just to clarify: If I'm not wrong. In 2018, Charles was 20, turning 21 in that year. Reader is going to have an age gap of two years. So reader is 18 turning 19.

gif is not mine! i love this gif tho, he looks so good.

March 2018

Everything from last night was a blur. I remember his green eyes on me. And then his lips. And then his skin. And then a bit more.

The music was louder than my thoughts. Monaco is a beautiful country with even more beautiful people.

Steph grabbed my hand and dragged me to the bar. "One Jack Daniel's with coke and one Cosmopolitan, please." She told the bartender.

"Cosmopolitan?" I asked.

"Oh girl, it's so good. It's vodka with cranberry juice, lemon juice, syrup, and..." She stopped for a second while her eyes drifted to something behind me. "Oh god, he's cute." I was going to turn around and look until she stopped me. "Wait, don't turn yet!"

By that time, the bartender put our drinks in front of us. I thanked him. "Girl, he's looking at you."

"Is he your kind of cute or mine?"

"I would do it sober, on a Monday." Okay. I have to turn around and see said man. "If he wants anything, he'll come to us." She dragged me to another part of the bar.

We danced and drank, and slowly I was forgetting about the 'gorgeous' man. I checked my phone. 12:00.

It has been two hours since we got to the bar.

When the song ended, we headed to the bar area, I asked the bartender for another drink. "Wait here, I have to run to the bathroom," Steph yelled in my ear and then made a beeline to the bathroom. I took the scenery in. The music was louder than before and everyone was dancing to a song I don't know of.

The bartender put the drink in front of me, and I thanked him again. I lost count of how many times I have thanked him.

"This is your fourth drink, is it not?" I heard a male voice next to me. I turned to see the owner of the voice.

Green eyes. Dimpled smile. His body leaned to mine.

"You're keeping tabs on me?" I asked.

"Hard not to," he said. He turned to the bartender and said, "Fermer la onglet. apporte-elle de l'eau. Je paierai la facture." (Close the tab, and bring her some water. I will pay for her bill.) The bartender nodded. The man turned to me again.

"What did you tell him?" I'm not even going to lie. His accent was very sexy.

"Nothing much. C'mon. Let's dance." he grabbed my hand and dragged me to the dance floor.

He pulled me close to his body. Very close. His green eyes and hands were all over me. And I let him.

He leaned closer to my ear and said, "So are you going to tell me your name or will I only know as the beautiful foreign girl?"

"You think I'm beautiful?" I asked laughing a bit.

"Everybody in this room thinks you are beautiful," he smiled, "So?"

"y/n," I told him. He repeated my name again, trying to see how my name feels on his lips. "And you?" I asked him.

"Charles" I repeated his name and his smile got wider. Deepening his dimples. "Leclerc"

Somewhere in the room, a phone rang. I was entangled with Charles that I just let it ring. His face is so calm, without worries.

"I can feel you staring at me, mon cherie," he murmured. "do you always stare at people when you wake up?"

"Not always," I said. "you're the only exception." He smiled at my comment and opened his eyes.

"Hello"

"Hi," I whispered.

"Was that your phone or mine?" He asked.

"I don't know. If it's important, they'll ring again." As soon as the words left my mouth. The phone rang again. I let out a little whine that made Charles laugh.

"That's your phone, that's not my ringtone." I got out of bed and looked for the phone.

"I can feel you staring at me, mon cherie" I mocked him.

"A sight like you should be stared at all the time." I smiled at his comment. I found my phone in between the pile of clothes that was left on the floor. Steph <3 appeared on my screen.

I lay on the bed again with Charles and answered the phone.

"Hey bitch, I've been calling you all morning"

"Sorry" I answered "I just woke up"

"Are you still with the French boy?" Steph asked with a joking tone. I can't remember most of last night. But she knows about Charles and the fact he speaks French.

"I'm Monegasque," He said a bit loud, just for her to hear.

"He says he's Monegasque" I repeated.

"Uhhh, native. I like it. Well, text me when you're on your way back" With that, she hangs up. I looked back at Charles.

"So, another round?"

At first, Steph was excited for me. She was hoping for Charles to be the next thing to occupy my mind instead of my parents.

She wasn't wrong. The Monegasque lived in my mind rent-free for the past month. Especially after I found out I was pregnant.

Two pink lines.

Positive.

"So? What does it say?" Steph asked. I didn't say anything. Tears started to form in my eyes. "Oh god, I need a drink" She disappeared from the bathroom to the kitchen.

Steph made me take a pregnancy test after several different random cravings that I had. She had enough of me after I ate a burger with extra extra pickles, and then more pickles on the side. For context, I hate pickles, with my life.

Fuck.

"y/n... what are you gonna do?" I haven't realized that she came back into the room, a glass of wine in her hand.

"well... what's done it's done. it's my responsibility to take care so it." I answered.

"Yeah! But so it's his! He has to be responsible too!" she yelled.

I let the tears run down my face. "And how?! I don't have his number! It's not like I could just send him a text saying 'Hey! remember when we fucked a month ago? well, I'm pregnant now, congrats! be responsible and take care of it"

Steph stayed quiet for a moment, just staring at me. After a while, she said, "Do you think he is on Instagram? I mean, think about it, almost everyone is on Instagram." she waved her wine at me.

"And if he's not?" my voice broke for a moment. This is all too much for me. I am overwhelmed and drowning in my own feelings.

"We can only hope so." She put her wine on top of the dresser and reached for her back pocket for her phone. "What was his name again?"

"Charles," I said.

"Love, I'm going to need more than that"

"Umm... His last name was a hard one. It was Lec... Lec-something"

For a moment, she looked at me and then back at her phone. "Leclerc?" She asked, doubt very clear in her voice.

"Yes! Leclerc. Why? Did you find him? You should get a job in the FBI" I commented while fidgeting with my hands. I was very nervous.

"Is it him?" She turned her phone towards me. The first thing I see was a black and white picture of Charles sitting on top of a counter with an Alfa Romeo jacket. The date was March 4, 2018. Just a few days before we met.

"Yes," I confirmed, "Wow, you are better than a PI" She slide her finger up a little and I looked at the username. Charles_leclerc with a verified check. "He's verified? Why is he verified?" I felt my heart going eighty miles per hour.

"You fucked and got pregnant by a Formula One driver," Steph said, in a monotone voice.

Oh fuck.

"What do I do now?" I asked her as I made my way to my bed to sit down.

"Well, you know who he is now. You just gotta find a way to find him and tell him." She said as she sat down and wrapped her arms around me.

Yeah. Right. Like that's going to be easy.

May 2018

"When will the phase of puking stops when pregnant?" I asked Steph as I rubbed my small bump.

"You're asking the wrong person. I am not Google" She replied.

"You would be more awesome if you were Google" I joked as I sat at the dinner table.

The aroma of pho and fried dumplings is drugging me right now. Steph is a great chef. So am I, but I hate washing dishes.

I am glad I have Steph to take care of me. Steph has been my best friend for the longest, she's a year older than me, but she treats me and takes care of me as if I'm her daughter. She was there for me when my parents died. She dropped everything and came with me across the world. And now she's taking care of me while being pregnant. I truly don't know what I would do without her.

Steph served me chicken pho and eight delicious fried pork dumplings. I waited for her to sit down.

She glanced at me for a second and then smiled. "You look like a child, waiting for permission to eat."

I laughed. "Well, I'm sorry I waited for you," I said as I grabbed the spoon and put some of the broth in it, and then took it to my mouth. It is so savory. "This is so good" I grabbed the chopsticks and grabbed a dumpling. I blow a bit into it so I don't burn myself. I took a big bite. "Oh my gosh, this is the best dumpling."

"You know what's better than a fried dumpling?" she asked while she wiggled her eyebrows.

"A soup dumpling!" I said. As soon as the words left my mouth, I heard a ting! coming from my phone. I thought my phone was in silence. We both laughed a bit at the timing and sound of the phone.

I turned my phone, immediately illuminating from the raise to wake mode. My smile dropped.

+377 123 456 7890

Hey, this is Charles. I'm in Monaco for a few weeks, mon cherie. Do you want to meet? 😉

I slammed my phone back to the table and looked at Steph. "What?" she asked. I looked back at my phone, making sure it wasn't a hallucination in my head. The text message was still there.

With shaken hands, I hand her my phone while I eat the other portion of the dumpling. She looked at the text, then at me. "Oh fuck..."

Oh fuck indeed.

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Ahhhhhh!!!!! This is the first chapter of many more to come! Please let me know what you think of it. I would very much appreciate any type of comment, whether it is your opinion or just anything! It would def motive me more to keep going.

@mac-daddy-210 @infinite-wanders @rbrsavage @itsyogurlkel @bbygrlllllll @nerdreader @imnotcryingyouare1 @killerangel88 @obx-mylove-things-blog @triorion @daniellarogers @insssanemindd @bosinclairsgff

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hotwaterandmilk · 6 days

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I just want to take the time to say thank you to everyone who follows this blog and enjoys the scans I post. They're not the best, my posting is sporadic, and I have a lot of things I'd like to share that I still haven't gotten around to loading. Unfortunately between my illness and work, I tend to be limited in the amount of content I can upload and for that I am sorry.

This blog is my way of showing love for (generally) more obscure anime and shoujo manga titles that still linger in my heart after years of fandom. If I had the capacity for meta, fanwork, or translations I'd be sharing those with you as a way of shouting my love for these series from the rooftops.

Since I don't have the talent to do any of those things, I've settled on sharing what I've collected over the last couple of decades. I still love these series (including the not-so-good ones) and it means a lot to me to know that I'm not alone in loving them all these years after they were first released.

A lot has been happening IRL these past few weeks that has left me feeling a bit flat about everything. When I look at what I post on this blog I end up feeling frustrated that I can't do more or be better at this very basic thing I do. But in coming to terms with my IRL limits I'm starting to accept that being a perfectionist with my silly little scanning hobby isn't helping anything.

So, I'm going to keep posting what I can, when I can. And I'll just have fun with all of you lovely people who take the time to interact with me on here. Thanks for the support.

#personal #oh i hit a new follower milestone that’s what brought this on #lol #midlife is just like this

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din0lover · 2 months

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Funny post of all the little "ghosties" talking moments in the captions

(It's ccbbh but also there might be some missing I did the best I could in trying to get it all lol enjoy!)

Signs of Pomme and Ramon

"Fudge I missed the sign"

"Maybe bad should stay dead a bit longer"

"Stress never killed anybody, except for the people it did"

"Isn't that cannibalism " (referring to pomme apple die comment)

Zinc cave

"Richas is going to die" (richas digging straight down)

" Oh Fudge not this one" (referring to cave they went into go collect zinc)

"This is limestone not zinc"

"Look how pretty"

"Let's go mine proceeds to mine limestone"

"These statements are now canonical ghosty thoughts"

"The block looks chewable" (referring to the limestone block)

"Canonical ghosty bathroom break"

"And canonically left alone" (after he got back from the bathroom break)

"There are going to be so mad at us when the eggs die" (after richas digs straight down deeper into the cave)

"Ghosties have bad hand eye coordination" (after falling in lava)

"50 zinc that's enough to make 1/10 of a drill"

"Free stuff"

"Lucy what are you doing over there"

"Later peasants I'm warping away, what the Fudge, that's crazy" (referring to richas warping out of the cave)

Leaving Zinc Cave

"All your stones belongs to me"

"Give me your stone I'm going to eat it all"

"Nom nom nom nom nom nom"

(ramon and pomme digging up out of the cave)

"Well this is the end for me I'm afraid"

"Should've taken those swimming lessons"

(Water bucket was placed down for a split second this guy is so dramatic LOL)

"You know, I'm holding sugar cane, it's magic, but why am I holding sugar cane? Is it a coincidence Or is there a higher meaning to it? Not even caption viewers will find out"

"Yep some of you realized all stream it was me reading the signs."

"Yep what you thought it was magic?, no I was reading them."

"The entire time thats where the captions come from."

"No way /j"

"The poor people without the captions right now."

That's it Ramon takes one call, I'm going to narrate their actions"

"Pomme looks around aimlessly "

"Ramon thinks I'm done cave mining it's probably best to leave"

"Pomme thinks Fudge dirt that means we're close to the surface but I hate digging through it."

"Don't worry we're good"

"Now it's off to do more adventuring"

"Sorry I'll stop being silly"

Finally out of the Zinc Cave

"You got this

You got this

You can do it"

"Freedom of fudge, worst ad time ever"

"Actually no we had some horribly timed ads."

"Dumbo, the moon, why did it translate it to that? I think there was a mistranslation chat."

"And pomme sacrifices Ramon to the squids" (Ramon fell out of the boat)

"Hey guys maybe we should take that zinc to Badboyhalo house instead"

Repairing the town of Fobo farm

Richas : "I mean I am not human I don't know, that works with tio dad and my dad's"

Ccbbh aka "ghosties" : "he's onto something "

"Huh bird"

"Nosy ghosties"

"Lucy Hi"

"So wholesome"

"3 minutes till restart"

"One minute before void"

"Toxic not the backup"

"The lore killer"

"Sometimes I still hear his voice" (referring to bbh it's almost like we can still hear him in the after life)

"There comes a day in every pet owners life" (referring to richas killing his caged amethyst crab)

"It is a good way to keep memories, if only bad was doing that." (That vile man he needs to be put in a panini press)

"I'm running out of sad music"

"Guys stop trolling the Chatters and telling them I died IRL"

"I can still hear his voice"

Group hug for all

"And it's a group hug"

"Get down here richas it's group hug time"

"Oh my gosh he is dying"

"Okay now he is good"

"Group hug richas, don't let him go up"

"Don't let him wiggle his way up there"

"He can't get away from The Angst train,there's a train and it's full angst"

"I love angst"

"I'm going to be honest this has been a very wholesome night but it is a lot of angst."

"Choo Choo"

Richas getting down again

"Crazy people oh my gosh"

"Gave me a heart attack right now"

"Oh my gosh they actually just trying to kill him in front of me"

"That's crazy"

"Where's you armor ?! He's not wearing armor!"

"Oh my gosh just let him die, finish him now"

"That be the worst time for a creeper to just slither its way and explode right next to them "

"Like actual nightmare fuel"

"You're going to give me a heart attack"

"He's going to die chat like if we don't see the death and no one else is online it doesn't really happen."

"It's like a tree that falls in the forest, and no one around here it doesn't make a noise."

"Pretty sure that's how it works chat mathematically "

Slight BBH love <3<3

- "I'm sorry chat thus has been a long stream, I'm trying to keep myself chucking along, I'm enjoying it but it is a long stream."

"Two really long streams in a row"

(Peace and love ccbbh thanks for the long streams with the eggs and other memes <3<3)

Back to richas and his vendetta against group hugs

"Rebel Richas, no hugs, hugs are for the weak"

"Oh my gosh they're going to actually kill him, I need to make sure to look away before he dies"

*looks away*

"There we go"

"If I dont see the death it doesn't count"

"This is like a slightly unhinged nature documentary "

"Bros really going to fall and die literally if he's not careful oh my gosh"

*commentating*

"Quick everyone lets vandalize their building even more."

"Oh my gosh please just don't do it."

"He's going to drown."

"No don't die drowning underwater it will kill you instantly "

"Stop"

"Bro really said that I'm going to maybe die someday and choose that day to be today."

"He's crazy chat, oh my goodness."

"Oh my goodness please holy crap."

"Let me build or I will die, thats your only two choices here" (even after death bbh still having beef with richas that's crazy)

"Yippee!"

"Bro better-" ( looking to see if richas is wearing armor and then proceeds to find out he's wearing diamond pants)

"I've been wearing pants this whole time. "

"Someone who doesn't have their cosmetic armor off and they just see pants walking around."

"Mimi"

Back home

"Confused but following "

"Where am i?"

"He's still not wearing armor either "

Fin (I just realized that didn't bbh say he be recording his audio too? I just transcript all this for nothing I'm done on a serious note though it was fun to read the captions and hope you find slight entertainment in what I was able to capture lmk if I missed any which I probs did well im off) (also forgive me if I did some misspelling I did this really late)

Extra clip:

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apollos-olives · 4 months

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If I may ask - and this is a question that is genuine and by no means trying to dehumanize of offend you - but what is it like to be queer and Palestinian? Palestine is a majority muslim country, altho I am aware that that does not mean that you are Muslim or belong to any other religion that Palestinians follow but if you do follow a religion, then what is it like to be queer because again, to my knowledge being queer or rather engaging in non-hetero relationships (i apologize for my wording) is forbidden. So how does it work, if you follow a religion. I'm truly sorry if this is in any way rude but my question comes from wanting to know more and not from a place of malice

i've actually talked about queerness in palestine before and honestly it isn't more or less special than any other country. almost every country in the world is homophobic as well. palestine isn't special with it's homophobia just because it's a majority muslim country. i'd get hatecrimed in the america more than i'd get hatecrimed in palestine, i can tell you that.

i am muslim, and i follow what i think is best for myself. i've studied the qur'an and have looked into queerness in relation to islam from the qur'an directly and yk what i found? nothing. the qur'an never mentions homosexuality. the story of prophet lut 3alayhisalam is the only thing the qur'an even gets close to mentioning about queerness. i'm not going to go into the full story but basically god destroyed an entire village for committing "indecent" acts, which were rape, pedophilia, premarital sex, infidelity, and along with that, the people of the village also were having same sex relationships. it's very explicitly clear that rape, pedophilia, infidelity, and premarital sex is not allowed, since those rules are mentioned in the qur'an more than once, but homosexuality was never even mentioned in the qur'an at all. it's only implied outside of the qur'an through passed down stories that the people of the village were homosexuals, and the islamic community decided to basically discard the rest of the story and focus on homosexuality only, so they translated the story into "god crushed a village of homos bc they were bad ppl so being homo is bad" even though the context and the direct translation of the qur'an never even brings up that the act of homosexuality itself is a sin. god didn't punish those people because they were gay, he punished them because they were commiting horrible sins like rape and pedophilia. they were just having same sex relationships on top of that, which god never directly condemned or even mentioned in the qur'an.

god always has rules for a reason. premarital sex is a sin because you may become diseased, and god wants the best for you so he forbids it. eating pig is a sin because pigs carry diseases and are generally unclean, and god wants you to be clean and to be well so he forbids it. etc. etc. etc. god has rules and reasons for everything because he is fair and just. there is simply no rule about homosexuality being wrong, and also no reasons as to why it would be wrong.

and even with all of that, so what if being gay is wrong? why would god create me this way if he didn't love me and accept me for how HE created me? doesn't god love all his creations? doesn't god love me for being true to myself and loving others as well? i don't think it's wrong, in any sense of the way, to love people. because if there is no harm in it, what's wrong with love?

and one thing i love about islam is that doing one sin only counts as one sin. we believe that certain actions and good deeds can count for many times it's weight. praying 5 times a day counts as many good deeds as praying 50 times a day. reading surah al-ikhlas even once counts as reading 1/3rd of the whole qur'an. our good deeds are magnified, while our bad deeds are only singular. while one good deed may count for 50 of them, one sin will only ever count as one sin. a muslim eating pork one time will only be counted as a single sin. a muslim having premarital sex one time will only be counted as a single sin. and IF homosexuality is a sin?? well. that only counts for one single sin. it's so easy to go to heaven. if you're a good person, you'll make it, even if you're gay or trans or whatever else. it doesn't matter. one sin compared to a mountain of good deeds is not going to affect you. that's why i love islam. god is kind to us like that.

and being trans comes into the equation as well. many muslims are against trans people because they believe it's a sin for a "man" to be effeminate and that it's wrong to change your body bc god created you perfectly. but like... there is literal science proving trans people exist. and the topic of dysphoria proves it even. if trans people are so dysphoric and so mentally harmed by not being able to transition or pass that it affects their mental or physical health, isn't it wrong to forbid them to receive treatment?? and what if the only treatment that works is for them to directly transition? god allows any permanent altercation to the body as long as it's for health reasons, and being trans is most definitely a health reason. god wants us to love ourselves, not harm ourselves. and the people who complain that it's "changing how god created us" make no sense because what if someone was born deformed and wouldn't survive without a surgery that changed their appearance? are you going to just let them die because you don't want them to change their appearance because that's disrespectful to gods creation? no, of course not. being trans is a health related thing and god always wants the best for us, especially when it comes to health and wellbeing.

as for me, i have an uncomfortable relationship with my own queerness. i don't like or use labels, and i don't consider myself part of the lgbtq+ community, because i don't feel welcome there. but i'm still queer. i've had queer relationships before and i'm open to having them again, but i'm just very skeptical of actually being in one. i've kind of resigned myself to a point of "semi-celibacy" where i don't actively seek out relationships nor do i imply that i want one, but IF one day, something happens... well 🤷‍♂️ something happens. i don't think i'll ever get married though, because that'd be a whole other religious story, but as much as i'd like to go out and have relationships, i think my safest option is to be celibate until i've decided for myself later what i want to do. not to punish myself but just so i don't get distracted and stray away from god accidentally.

in the end, being queer as a muslim depends on the specific muslim and how they view their relationship with their queerness and their relationship with god. it's different for everyone and it's only up to a persons own self to decide what is best for them and their religion. i've done research about queerness in islam for myself because i simply could not live with myself if i actually knew that being queer was wrong, and it isn't, so i'm alright now.

muslims aren't horrific with their homophobia, just misguided and misinformed. that doesn't mean i hate them or try to convince every muslim i meet to agree with my views abour queerness, no, because it's only up to the person themselves to decide not to be a bigot. the reality is that most muslims are homophobic and that's it 🤷‍♂️ they may be wrong, but it doesn't mean anything in the end.

we as palestinian muslims need to be given our basic human rights to EXIST before we move onto queer liberation. we must be liberated on a humanitarian level before we are liberated on a queer level. palestine simply hasn't had time for queer liberation because we're too busy fighting to survive. and even then, i do believe it's absolutely justified for palestinians to be anti lgbtq when many lgbtq people are actively calling for our genocide. doesn't mean it's right to be a bigot, but you must understand that if my entire family got massacred in front of my eyes and my entire house got bombed with me inside it, and the people who did it were raising a rainbow flag... well. i would hate whoever stands behind that flag as well. bigoted hatred comes from a place of fear and hurt and misinformation. if palestinians haven't had time to unlearn homophobia, of course they will be misinformed about the queer community and fear it. it's only fair.

this was a wonderful question and i'm glad you were curious to learn more :)

#palestine #free palestine

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eldritch-nightmare · 8 months

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Mk, so, how about Liu, and any other characters of your choice with an S/O who has selective-mutism, but one day they just randomly decide to say something, but it’s in a completely different language. Idk where I got the idea from.

a/n: i saw liu's name and i couldn't restrain myself. i'm monolingual so i had to use various translation sites so if these are incorrect then i am so sorry. nd i opted to just have the reader randomly say 'i love you' because that seemed like an easy phrase to not butcher. except for liu. with what i wrote, i did have to give a full phrase other than 'i love you' and i put it through multiple translation sites so uhm fingers crossed that it's accurate uhm if you speak danish and it isn't then first off i am so sorry and second off can you please tell me what the actual translation is anyways this is a long note sorry fdhjfh hope you enjoy!!

with a selectively mute s/o that speaks in a different language.

includes: homicidal liu, the doll maker, nurse ann, and clockwork.

warnings: gn reader, it's honestly mostly just sappy, liu downplays a stab wound but that's really it.

HOMICIDAL LIU.

Liu doesn't really think about your selective mutism. You'll talk to him whenever you're comfortable, and if that's never then that's fine with him. All he cares about is your comfort.

Besides, if you ask him, he does enough talking for the both of you. At least... he thinks he talks a lot. It definitely feels like it. And who knows, he probably just teaches you morse code so you two can communicate like that.

And little did either of you know, today was the day you'd speak to him for the first time. And not for good reason, sadly. You see, Liu... isn't necessarily a careful person when it comes to his own safety.

So he may or may not have gotten hurt. But it's not like it's a life-threatening injury or anything like that! Besides, he's taught himself how to treat minor wounds like this. Really, it isn't that big of a deal.

You think otherwise, because, uh, he was fucking stabbed. Who the hell considers a stab wound a 'minor' injury?!

So when you saw him cleaning and stitching up a stab wound, this obviously led to some bickering between the two of you. Liu is telling you that he's okay, while you're aggressively telling him via morse code that he's been stabbed and that he needs to get professional medical attention. But Liu was fine. He's gone through way worse than this, so you really don't have to worry.

But him saying that just leads to you throwing up your hands in frustration as you say, "Dammit, kan du ikke se, at jeg er bekymret, fordi jeg elsker dig?!"

And... well... Liu doesn't really know what you just said but he feels really bad knowing that this is what made you speak to him for the first time.

He'll sigh and apologize for not taking his injuries seriously, and he promises to get professional help rather than just treating it himself. He... is legally classified as dead, so he can't go to a hospital but... I mean... he knows a guy who was studying medicine. And a very suspicious doctor.

THE DOLL MAKER.

Vine's native tongue is Russian, so more often than not he'll mutter to himself in his mother tongue rather than any other language.

He doesn't really care if you speak or not, mostly because he feels more comfortable in the silence. He's not the best at holding conversations.

He was busy making a doll with non-human parts this time around. And you were roaming around his little workshop, inspecting all his half-finished projects and sketches of future dolls he planned on making.

Vine trusts you to be around his work, so he's not worried about you accidentally making a mess or breaking anything but he does find himself feeling a little nervous.

Dollmaking is his passion, it's something he loves doing. And he loves you as well and values your opinion more than anyone else's. What if you think he's not doing a good job? What if you think he could make something better?

You've never given him the impression that you dislike dolls or find his creations and passion to be 'childish' but it's still a thought that lingers in his mind nonetheless. Thoughts like this constantly plague his mind.

But when he glances away from the doll he's working on to see you gently straightening out the dress of another one that's on display, a small smile gracing your lips as you admire his creation...

"Я тебя люблю." The words just sorta slipped out of his mouth, and it took him a moment before he went to repeat what he said in English but you spoke before he could even open his mouth.

"Я тебя тоже люблю." And oh. That's the first time he's ever heard you speak, he thinks.

NURSE ANN.

She too is selectively mute, though she doesn't speak because it physically hurts to more often than not, and also... she sees no real reason to talk, to be honest.

You two probably communicate via sign language or writing, though she'll quietly whisper to you if she has to.

Ann doesn't care if you talk or not. She gets it, even if you two have vastly different reasons for your selective mutism.

She's not going to have that big a reaction when you do talk, though she will tilt her head to the side a bit when you speak in an entirely different language.

It'll probably happen while the two of you are spending time together in silence, Ann doing her own thing while you're sitting nearby.

She was caught up in her own little task, mind empty. She was vaguely aware of your gaze on her, but she only really came back to reality when she heard you sigh and softly murmur to yourself.

"Ich liebe dich."

She blinks, taking a moment to process your words. She... doesn't understand German, but the way you softly spoke the words, and the way you were looking at her with such fondness... well, she had a vague idea of what you said.

And very quietly, she whispers back, "Love you too."

CLOCKWORK.

Natalie seems like the type of person who wants to learn a new language, and even begins starting to, but her motivation for it just evaporates two days after starting and she stops trying to learn. And it's just a cycle that rinses, washes, and repeats itself.

Anyways, she overthinks a lot and needs constant reassurance more than she would like, so at the beginning of your relationship, communication was probably a little rocky.

But you guys manage to come up with other ways to communicate rather than vocally.

She'll catch herself wondering what your voice sounds like, and she'll sometimes wonder if you'll ever feel comfortable enough around her to speak but she doesn't push you to talk.

She understands, trust me.

But she's definitely surprised when you wake her up from her nap just to look her in the eye and bluntly say, "Anh yêu em." and you don't even give her a chance to process it before you walk away.

She's just baffled and confused. What the hell did you just say to her? You just spoke. What the hell did you say? Is she dreaming? She feels awake. She's definitely awake.

Natalie has to dig around for her phone to try and search for the translation of what you said, and it takes her a few tries before she finally manages to type it out correctly. She definitely buries her face in a pillow when she reads the translation. And she ends up falling back asleep.

It's only when she wakes up again that she'll go and find you. She'll wrap her arms around your waist and rest her forehead on your shoulder before placing a gentle kiss there and tiredly murmuring, "I love you too."

#anon #homicidal liu x reader #the doll maker x reader #nurse ann x reader #clockwork x reader #creepypasta x reader #homicidal liu x you #the doll maker x you #nurse ann x you #clockwork x you #creepypasta x you

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maniculum · 6 months

Text

Bestiaryposting Plan

So the poll is still running, but I think I'm safe in saying there's sufficient interest, so I'm going ahead and typing up a "how we're going to do this" thing, which I will schedule to post after the poll ends properly. As of the time I'm writing this, over 500 people have voted for the "yes I want to draw things" option, and I had been expecting to get maybe a dozen, so we definitely have enough participants. Let's get started then:

Our Source

I had originally planned to translate an Old or Middle English bestiary, but haven't been able to find a good one -- the best option I was able to dig up only has thirteen critters, which I feel like isn't enough to really have fun with. I was debating the idea of translating a Latin one -- this would have been far more time-consuming since my Latin is terrible, but also I do need to practice it, so I figured it evens out -- when I found a solution that doesn't involve me spending hours and hours on translating.

It seems that when Aberdeen University created their digitized version of the famous Aberdeen Bestiary, they released it under a Creative Commons license. (Assuming I'm reading their copyright policy correctly; I'm not a lawyer.) It does not seem to specify whether the transcriptions and translations they attach to the scanned images are also covered by Creative Commons, but since all of those are already freely available online through their website, I can't imagine they would have a problem with me posting them here as long as I provide attribution (which I am hereby doing right here on this post) and am not using it for commercial purposes (which I am not).

The Aberdeen Bestiary is missing a few pages, but there exists a very similar manuscript, the Ashmole Bestiary (they're sometimes called "sister" manuscripts), which is not missing those pages. And I happen to have a translation of the Ashmole Bestiary in hardcopy on my bookshelf, so I can just use it to fill in the gaps. Edit: whoops, the one I have is the Bodley Bestiary. They are in the same bestiary "family", though, so it still works well enough. (I think that should qualify as "fair use", since I'm only taking excerpts and not using them commercially.)

The upside of using the Aberdeen Bestiary is that it means when I round up all the art of each critter, I can include their very nice illustrations alongside the reveal of what animal was being described.

The downside of using the Aberdeen Bestiary is that since it already is free online, people might be tempted to "cheat" by looking up the entries and finding out what animal they describe. For that, please see the next section...

Guessing the Animal

Guessing what animal is being described is not the point of the exercise. (Feel free to have theories and whatnot, but please keep them to yourself so as not to influence the artists.) If you see an entry and think, e.g., "oh that's describing a raccoon"*, and then you create a picture of a raccoon... well, you could have done a perfectly good raccoon at any point and didn't need this framework to do it. So just don't worry about what animal is meant, and do your best to draw (or paint or stitch or whatever else) based on the description! You're not getting ranked on accuracy and there are no prizes forthcoming, so... just have fun with it.

*Example chosen as something that will, for obvious reasons, definitely not be in a 13th-century European bestiary.

Edit after starting to type these things up: some of these are going to be super easy to guess, though, to the point where I don't know how possible it'll be to block out prior knowledge. Sorry about that.

General Procedure

I'm going to schedule a post every Monday (I'm thinking of queuing them for 6pm Eastern Time) with a new entry. It will be the translation of an entry from the Aberdeen Bestiary with all references to the animal's name replaced by a randomly-generated nonsense word. (Henceforth to be referred to as "nonsense-names". I'm Googling* each one before using them so I don't accidentally generate one that actually means something.) These posts will all be tagged maniculum bestiaryposting, so you can follow that tag if you want to make sure you see them.'

*Later Note: Did you know that if you search dozens of nonsense words within a short span of time, Google makes you prove you're not a robot? Repeatedly?

Anyone who wants to draw the critter being described should do so. (You are encouraged to describe your thought process re: why you've depicted it the way you have.) You can put it in its own post, or reblog the description with an image, or however you want to do it. Then tag your art with the nonsense-name I've given to the animal.This will let me and others find it. (You should probably employ copy/paste there to make sure the spelling is the same, since nonsense words are hard to spellcheck.)

A week after posting the bestiary entry, I'll go through that tag and round up all of the art contributed. Then I'll put the images in a big post (or series thereof, considering how many people might participate), along with an @ and a link to your original post.

If you want...

to not have your work included in the round-up post

to have only a link to your post included and not an image

to have me include a link to your website / other social media / etsy shop in addition to or instead of your tumblr

to have other information included alongside your work

anything else along those lines

... then just say so in your post and I will follow your instructions to the best of my ability.

I will also include, at the end of the round-up post, an image of the creature as depicted in the Aberdeen Bestiary and what it is actually called.

All posts I make on this will be collected at https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting so that people can look at previous ones without scrolling through the tag.

Various Notes

I'm going to trim out any religious digressions in the original entries -- bestiary authors had a habit of adding stuff like "and the raccoon is symbolic of god in such-and-such fashion, which teaches us...", and I just don't think that's relevant here.

The entries will also be presented in a random order. This is because they're sorted into categories in the original text, so if I don't change the order we're going to get stuck with, e.g., a few months of All Birds All The Time.

You should all be aware that the animals described are not guaranteed to be, you know, real. There are several entries describing animals that straight up do not exist -- some of which are mythical creatures familiar to most people, others of which are extremely obscure.

Explanations of the animal's name within the entries will be redacted.

If other animals are mentioned within the entries, they will not get replaced with nonsense-names. Originally, I was going to make the switch globally, so that if, e.g., the entry for "raccoon" read "a raccoon is about the size of a possum", and the random generator had decided that a raccoon was a balzikhear and a possum was a flunggrish, the "raccoon" entry would now read "a balzikhear is about the size of a flunggrish". However, I decided that it will cause more problems than it solves to obscure any comparisons to other animals -- so the name-switch is now localized only to the specific entry. A possum is a flunggrish only in its own entry, and remains a possum everywhere else.

I was originally going to do one post for every single entry, but there are a lot of them and they vary wildly in length & quality. So I've cut it down to exactly 52 posts, meaning that if I queue them up for once a week, this will run for roughly a full year.

Most of that cutting-down mentioned above was done by combining a bunch of the really short entries into categories -- the last half-dozen posts in this series will be group entries. You can choose to make art of any of them that strike your fancy, or do a group portrait, or just ignore them --I dunno, I'm not a cop, do what you want.

I did also directly cut some, mostly domesticated animals because there's a somewhat different approach to them based on author and audience familiarity.

So yeah, that should cover everything.

#maniculum bestiaryposting

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bonefall · 5 months

Note

Hi Bones!! Thank you for you hard work on this project and for sharing it with us!

I've seen your posts about weird representation of society (regarding the "natural order of things") in xenofiction, especially in lion king, so I wanted to ask:

could you recommend any xenofiction media that has all (or most of the) animal species sapient? Or is the only solution to make just one or two species sapient while the others (especially prey) are plain animals?

Really sorry if you've seen this ask from me before - my account had a weird laggy period when I couldn't send or receive messages and asks, so I don't know if you got the previous one! I just know that now it's fixed so I double all the asks sent haha

Honestly I'm not totally sure! If any 3rd person has some good recommendations for "every being is alive" xenofiction types, feel free to weigh in.

If you want to jump in with me though, I am following the webcomic Africa. It updates every Wednesday. Africa is about a mother Leopard on the verge of a great ecological disaster, the relationship between her children and the animals around her, and the strength of both instinct and choice as the characters face an uncertain future.

Since it's ongoing, I still don't know how it's going to end and can't judge it as a full work! But it's absolutely fascinating and I think the author is doing a fantastic job so far. Bonus points for the way it portrays humans, btw.

No more spoilers though, if you're interested, it's on Webtoons.

(I'm also planning to read Oren's Forge soon. Ask me about it again in a few months over on Bonebabbles and I'll give you my thoughts)

As an aside though, funny you mention it because like... ever since I was a kid I've had a story I want to tell with the premise. It's a scintilla I've kept close to me for well over a decade but haven't done anything official with. So this is actually a theme I've thought about a lot.

It's rare to see it done well though because like... its very premise butts heads with reality. The "natural order" that an animal follows is not something it moralizes. A tiger doesn't have the capacity to think about how fucked up it is to kill to stay alive, the deer doesn't know that if its population isn't controlled it will destroy the forest.

They're animals. They don't HAVE that agency. Your dog does not care about being sterilized. A snake doesn't differentiate between a pinky and an adult mouse except in terms of if it will fit in its mouth. But the minute you put human morality in there... they have the ability to reason, create and agree on the rules of a society, make choices about MORALITY.

If nothing is going to change about their world, you just end up putting human arguments about "natural order" in their mouths and, well... start telling a parable justifying this "natural order."

(Genuine) Does what I'm saying make sense? Animals DON'T rationalize or negotiate. HUMANS do.

So the minute you're approaching a world with that logic, like it or not, you are invoking those "arguments from nature." And you're putting them in a being that is not fully an animal or a human, but an anthropomorphic mix which CAN rationalize but WON'T make an effort to change their world.

(Which is why tbh the best examples i know of are works with a theme of "change.")

OH WAIT I also remember another that's interesting!! Leafy: Hen into the Wild actually has a fascinating take on it. It's not interested in "moralizing" or really being about an animal society. It's a very emotional sort of movie, and it's about joys in adversity, the freedom that choice gives you, how bad things are going to happen and you can never completely prevent them.

INTENSE movie emotionally, the ending will wreck you (especially in the English translation which leaves out a really important theme making it feel abrupt x_x) but it's really good. Check that one out.

OH and also You Are Umasou. That one has more pitfalls imo (it does try to moralize a bit) but it's super unique as a movie. And is about dinosaurs.

#Don't take my opinions as gospel tho #There's no ONE RIGHT WAY to tell a story or handle a theme #And every person can have a unique reading of any story #Some stories can even be interpreted super differently by going in with different readings #Media isn't a box you take the lid off of to loot for objectively correct objects #It's more like eating a meal #Examining ingredients/tropes and how they were used #Trying to identify what the author set out to do and if it accomplished it in its current form #And sometimes idk chicken noodle tastes like hot saltwater in one moment but then hits different 2 months later when surrounding--#--circumstances (like being sick or cold) make it hit different #Point im getting at is that we could objectively say 'they used chicken and noodle' in this dish #But analysis and opinions and expressing them are an art of their own #Bone babble #Anyway prolly gonna be quiet the rest of the day so I can do clanmew prep lads #Media analysis #Xenofiction

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gellavonhamster · 1 month

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assigning each straw hat pirate a knight of the round table

because I am currently obsessed both with One Piece and Arthuriana; not any kind of serious AU material, just silliness; I Wrote This for Me but You Can Read If You Like

Luffy: Arthur, not due to any similarities in characterization but purely on the functional level - the boy king, the inspirational leader and, as Sun God Nika, a mythical figure believed to return when people need him the most

Zoro: Lancelot, the perfect warrior who embodies that post that's like "it's not my fault that my love language is acts of service and all I know how to do is kill". There is no Queen Guinevere here, so all the undying devotion is aimed at the king instead. Canonically has massive tits. Mihawk is thus implied to be the Lady of the Lake, and I think that's hilarious

Nami: hear me out: Kay. Sharp-tongued, rather cynical, but loyal to a fault to his king/adopted little brother. Nami as part of the Coward Trio vs. Kay being unlucky on quests and generally the butt of the joke. Isn't known to be a great warrior but occupies an important position (navigator vs. seneschal) that keeps the ship/court going. Besides, looking from the opposite direction, I just think Kay deserves to be the hot girl

Usopp: Usopp, sweetie, I'm so sorry, but I gotta say Tristan. Because Tristan is constantly lying about his identity in the most ridiculous manner possible and it somehow works. That part in Le Morte d'Arthur when he's asked what his name is and goes "Tramtrist" and no one suspects a thing even though "Tramtrist" is just "Tristram" with syllables switched around has big Sniper King energy. Also, can't forget the beautiful blonde healer girlfriend

Sanji: oh, that's the easiest one. Gawain. The Maidens' Knight, the ladies' man, a great warrior and one of the king's closest and most trusted men. If you put together Gawain's characterizations from different texts, from SGATGK to Le Morte to the Vulgate & Post-Vulgate to Chrétien de Troyes to everything, you end up with a contradictory character who is simultaneously the best and the worst guy you'll ever meet, which is how I often feel about Sanji, tbh. Would totally fight at a tournament on behalf of a little girl. Has some kind of an epic gay thing with Lancelot

Chopper: Yvain. Son of a sorceress - ah, pardon, a woman of science; associated with animals; known to be nice and kind (the Vulgate Cycle describes him as the one "whose heart will be filled with every kindness"). Occasionally goes insane in the woods (Monster Point), but, like, who doesn't

Robin: try as I might, I can't pull any direct parallels out of my ass, but I do think that narratively she can be seen as kind of a quasi-Mordred. Since her very childhood she was proclaimed to be bad news and expected to eventually cause a catastrophe, but where Mordred, whom no one tries to persuade the prophecy doesn't define him, ends up becoming exactly what he's expected to become, Robin has people who support her and trust her even after witnessing her be the bad guy in the past, so she never becomes the evil others expect her to turn into

Franky: Sagramore the Desirous (or the Unruly, depending on the text/translation) is a big, strong, good-natured knight who probably has low blood sugar needs to have a snack after fighting because otherwise he'll pass out, much like a certain cyborg needs his cola. In the Post-Vulgate, he and Mordred were raised together, which can be linked to Frobin's fates being intertwined since childhood, because I've Connected the Dots (you didn't connect shit)

Brook: I wanted to pick a character of the older generation who nevertheless isn't a mentor figure to Arthur, and I struggle to think of a better option than Pellinore - not the predatory piece of shit in the medieval texts, but the eccentric but loveable old man in Camelot (1967). Brook is also on a quest focused on an extraordinary beast! Only he's not hunting it, he's trying to get back to it because that beast is his friend 🥺

Jinbei: I honestly don't remember if he counts as the Knight of the Round Table, but I am hereby appointing him Ector - Arthur's adoptive father and one of the nicest parental figures in Arthuriana (and probably one of the nicest people in Arthuriana, period). I've also considered Galehaut for the "(partially) non-human ruler who allies himself with Arthur" angle, but that would imply Jinbei/Zoro and I'm not ready to deal with that.

#one piece #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #cat burglar nami #god usopp #black leg sanji #tony tony chopper #nico robin #cyborg franky #soul king brook #jinbei #gella talks one piece #talk talk talk #initially this included a line about sagramore being a himbo & franky being a genius engineer easily mistaken for a himbo #but i ctrl+f'd through a couple of volumes of the vulgate & i can't find what prompted me to think of sagramore as a himbo. besides Vibes #wouldn't wanna throw unwarranted accusations around

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leclerqueensainz · 1 year

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A Family of Three (C.L 16) - Part.I- Discoveries, Reunions, and Surprises

Paring: Charles Leclerc X OC!Marie Anderson

Synopsis: Charles and Marie ended any chance of a relationship years ago. They just didn't expect to have to share custody of a child after the death of their best friend.

⚠️ Warnings: Mention of death and murder, swearing, Charles being a little aggressive in his reactions, mention of sex and drug use. (This chapter may contain triggers!) (+16)

**In this story, Jules Bianchi died in 2019, not 2015, which changes some facts in the careers of the drivers.

A.N: Hello! How are you doing? After a long time, I finally brought Part 1 translated into English! Remembering that English is not my first language, so there may be some mistakes! I tried my best!

Feedback is always welcome. Let me know if you liked it!

Word Count: 7.882

Read the prologue here!

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January 15th, 2023 - Milan, Italy

"Good morning, Marcella!" I greet my secretary as I enter the office. "Any news for me?" I ask the blonde girl who is sitting with her eyes fixed on the computer in front of her.

"Good morning, Marie! And...HA! I did it!" Marcella suddenly jumps, startling me. "I'm sorry! It's just that I managed to schedule the meeting with Fred Lacroix for next week." She says, trying to compose herself, and I smile."

"That's great! You're amazing," I say, leaning over next to her at the table and taking a peek at her computer. "Do you think he'll be in a good mood? He's not exactly known for being pleasant when it comes to selling and buying his art," I ask and Marcella just shrugs.

"I don't know, and honestly, I don't worry about it," she says, and I can see a smug smile spread across her face. "Either way, we're awesome! We always get what we want," she finishes, and I laugh at her enthusiasm.

I agree with Marcella. We are awesome and always get what we want when it comes to work.

After Jules died, I moved from Monaco to Italy. I felt like I needed to leave it all behind, even if it meant burying a part of who I was with my past. I needed a fresh start, and I closed my eyes to my old life. I had nothing left in Monaco. Nothing held me back or was even worth staying for.

I needed time and a new life, and that's exactly what I found when I came to Italy, where I was able to enroll in arts just in time to continue the school year. And a year and a half later, I graduated and started interning at one of the best galleries in Milan. Shortly after that, I realized I had a lot of potential for curating and dedicated myself to the field, of which today I am still a part, with the highest success rate in recruiting and selling new artists.

Today, I can say that my life is more than comfortable, and I spend so much of my day occupied with work that I hardly have time to think about everything I left behind a few years ago.

"Ah!" Marcella screams and catches me off guard, making me take a few steps back.

"Oh my god, Marcella! You're going to kill me, girl!" I say and put my hand on my chest, feeling my heart skipping like crazy.

"Sorry! I just remembered you got a letter this morning," she says, and I swear my confusion is written all over my face. "I mean, you didn't really get it, it's more like 'they passed the envelope under the door while we were closed, and I stepped on it when I got here'," she says and pulls out a crumpled white envelope with a half footprint on it. "I tried to clean it up, but as you can see, it didn't go very well. Seriously, someone should clean the streets of Milan more," she says and hands me the envelope.

I examine the envelope to find the sender, but I only find "Marie Anderson" written in delicate handwriting.

"There's no sender. That's strange." I say and Marcella nods.

"I thought it was kind of creepy too. I mean, who still sends letters In 2023? Isn't it easier to send a message on Insta? Or like, an email?" I nod my head and shrug.

"Well, let it be," I say and start walking towards my office. "Please let anyone who wants to speak to me know to leave a message. And that includes my mom, okay?" I say and Marcella nods. "Great, thanks," I say, entering my office and closing the door behind me.

I throw my bag on the desk and sit in my chair. I analyze the envelope in my hand again and for a moment, I feel a strange sensation as I stare at it.

"Okay, let's end the suspense, Marie," I say to myself and I grab a staple remover from the pencil holder, passing it over the glued part of the envelope.

Opening the envelope, I take out a sheet of paper with the same handwriting as the envelope, and two photos of a little boy with dark hair and eyes who I swear I've never seen before, but who somehow seems very familiar to me. I turn over the photos to see if there's anything written on the back.

"Vincenzo. 24/12/2021"

Was written in one of the photos. The little boy was sitting next to what looked like a Christmas tree. I took a look at the next photograph, where the same boy, who seemed a bit older, was sitting on a mat surrounded by toys. "Vincenzo. 19/12/2022."

Feeling even more confused and with a strange sensation spreading through my chest, I picked up the letter I had left aside on the table and began to read it.

France, January 2nd, 2023.

Marie,

I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've thought about how I would write to you. You don't know me, and to be honest, I don't think anyone in his circle of friends and family has even heard of me.

My name is Cecilia, and that's all you need to know about me right now, aside from what I'm about to write to you next: I was engaged to Jules Bianchi.

I know this is strange and perhaps even unbelievable, but it's true. Jules and I had a brief but passionate love story. I loved Jules, and I can say that he loved me too.

Two days before his death, I found out that I was pregnant. I gave birth to Vincenzo on December 24th, 2019. He was a healthy and strong little boy, very similar to Jules.

I loved him from the moment I found out he was growing inside me. The result of something so pure and beautiful, from my relationship with Jules.

I know it's a lot for you to process right now, but so that you can know that I'm telling you the truth, there are two photos of Vincenzo. I want you to look at them and see Jules, just as I do every time I look at my son.

"I've been wanting to write to you for a long time. Jules saw you as a sister. I'm sorry I hid this from you and his family too, but I was so afraid. Afraid of rejection, of being seen as a liar. I couldn't go through any of that. I only had Jules, and after he left me, there was no one else I could trust, so I've been raising Vincenzo alone until now, but I don't think I can do it anymore. Vincenzo has a family besides me. And I need him to grow up knowing that he is loved.

I promise I to explain everything you need to know. Please meet me at the café where you used to meet every time you came together to Nice. January 18th at 4 pm.

- Cecilia.

My hands tremble as I put the letter back on the table.

What the hell is this? Is this some kind of sick joke?

I take the two photos back in my hands and stare at them, now realizing why I found that boy so familiar. It was Jules. That boy is the spitting image of Jules.

But how is this even possible? Why didn't Jules tell us he had someone? That's not like him. Jules was always an open book to us. He told us everything, just as we did with him. He wouldn't hide this from us...would he?

With my head swimming with questions and my heart heavy as lead, I found myself shouting Marcella's name, and less than a minute later, her short locks appeared through the door.

My hands tremble as I put the letter back on the table.

What the hell is this? Is this some kind of sick joke?

I take the two photos back in my hands and stare at them, now realizing why I found that boy so familiar. It was Jules. That boy is the spitting image of Jules.

With my head swimming with questions and my heart heavy as lead, I found myself shouting Marcella's name, and less than a minute later, her short locks appeared through the door.

"Yes?" She asks before looking at me for a moment and entering my office complete with a worried expression. "Are you okay, Marie?" She says kneeling by my side.

"Book a flight for tomorrow morning. I need to go to France."

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January 18th, 2023. - Nice, France.

I stare again at the clock hanging on the wall above the counter of the small café. 3:45 PM.

15 minutes. Just 15 minutes until I could find out who Cecilia was and why she decided to contact me now, after all this time. And why me? Yes, Jules, Charles, and I were always very close despite the age difference. But why reach out to me? If she intended to introduce the boy to Jules' family, why didn't she contact Christine or Philippe?

I hadn't seen Jules' family in a long time, we didn't even exchange messages. I left them behind when I decided to move on to Italy. They were buried with my past in Monaco.

The bell on the entrance door rings, indicating that someone has entered the premises. My head quickly snaps toward the sound.

And it's like in one minute, everything I struggled so hard to forget and leave behind comes back with force and without control like waves of a tsunami.

Standing just a few meters away from where I'm sitting, my gaze meets Charles'.

Charles. My ex-boyfriend whom I haven't seen in almost four years. The part that hurts the most from my past, besides the death of Jules.

He looks different. So different from the last time I saw him at Jules' funeral. This time he's not dressed in mourning black, no. He's wearing casual clothes, dark jeans, and a moss green sweater with the word "FERRARI" stamped in black. There's a scruffy beard on his face and his eyes...damn. The eyes that last time reflected so much hopelessness were now more alive, but still with certain traces of concern.

Charles walks up to where I'm sitting, his steps quick and wide as if he wanted to corner me before I could escape again. He stops half a meter away, and his gaze curiously roams over me. His expression is stern but also covered in doubt. I bet that, like me, he wants to understand why I'm here.

"Charles..." I'm the first to say, my voice low and uncertain. He nods slowly, his gaze still fixed on me, as if he wants to uncover all the secrets I gained during the years we were apart.

“What are you doing here, Marie?" he asks, direct and determined, without any hesitation. It's a tone I would have never expected to hear from the Charles I left four years ago. Yes, he really has changed.

I wished I could answer him with the same intensity, but honestly, I don't think I could. There's so much going on here and my head is spinning with so many questions and emotions. Why is Charles here? What the hell is going on? Did he set all this up?

"Is this some kind of joke? Because if it is, I swear to God it's not funny," he says, his tone now rough.

I sit there staring at him, completely confused.

Charles runs his hand through his hair, messing up his brown locks even more. He sighs heavily and closes his eyes, his tongue quickly passing over his lower lip. He used to do that all the time when he felt anger or frustration. At least that hasn't changed.

"What are you doing here, Charles?" I ask, and he opens his eyes, once again staring at me.

Charles's hand reaches into his back pocket and pulls out an envelope identical to the one that was left for me in the office in Italy. The difference is that I can see that this one was addressed to Charles, only his name, and also without a sender.

"Please tell me it wasn't you, Marie," he says as his eyes shift from the envelope to my face. I look at him with all the sincerity I can muster and answer, "No, it wasn't me." He nods his head, his expression softening a bit. He moves and sits in the vacant chair in front of me, his hands going up to his face to rub it.

"Jules has a son," he says.

"I know," I reply.

"Charles lowers his hands and stares at me once again, confusion etched on his face. Before he can say anything, I reach into my bag on the table, open it, and take out the white envelope. Charles looks at my hand for a moment before reaching over the table to take the envelope from me."

"You got one too," he says, not looking at me, even though it's not a question, I nod my head in agreement.

"It seems she arranged to meet with both of us. I think it's easier if we hear the story at the same time, that way there's no risk of getting the wrong versions," I say, and his gaze shifts from the envelopes on the table to me.

"Do you think it's a lie? That the boy isn't Jules's son?" he asks seriously, and I just shrug in response.

"I believe it could be Jules's son. I just don't know why she waited all this time and why she chose us. Obviously, we're not the best people to show Vincenzo that he has a family on his father's side," I say, and I see Charles's jaw tighten.

"We were friends with Jules. He trusted us," he says, once again his voice sounding rough.

"It seems he didn't trust us enough to tell us he fell in love," I say, and immediately regret it.

I look at Charles and if we were part of a cartoon, he would have flames in his eyes.

“You don't know what happened. You don't know his reasons, just like me,” he says through gritted teeth. “Don't doubt his motives. Not when he's not here to defend himself.”

In all the years I've spent by Charles' side, I've never seen him so angry. And if I didn't know him, I'd be scared.

But do you still know him? I silently ask myself.

"That's not what I meant," I defensively reply. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way. Of course, Jules had reasons and we'll find out when Cecilia arrives." Charles relaxes his jaw and adjusts in his seat.

I look at the clock on the wall again. 4:10 PM. She's late. I look at Charles, a little anxious.

"Do you think she's coming?" he shrugs, but his hand goes into his hoodie pocket and pulls out a cell phone.

"She's late," he states what I already know. "But I think so, she's coming." Charles carelessly tosses the phone onto the table, his anxious fingers fidgeting with his rings.

"Congratulations on the runner-up, by the way," I say, trying to ease both of our anxieties, and he looks back at me.

"Did you follow the races?" he asked, a little surprised.

"Yes," I admit, somewhat embarrassed. "My secretary is a huge Formula 1 fan," I add, which is not a lie.

Like all Italians, Marcella is a devoted Tifosi. And even though I wanted to leave everything I knew behind, I couldn't escape one of the most beloved sports in Europe, especially in Italy, the home of Ferrari.

Charles lets out a low laugh, his look adopting the expression of a mischievous boy. Oh no.

"Your secretary, huh?" he says with a teasing and suggestive tone.

"Ah, shut up, Leclerc!" I say, trying to sound serious but failing when I let out a laugh. "I'm serious! My secretary is a diehard Tifosi. She can't shut up for a minute about Ferrari and makes me watch all the races," I say, shrugging.

"Yeah, yeah... And I bet I'm your 'secretary's' favorite driver, right?" he says, making air quotes with his fingers and having a smug smile on his face.

"Actually, she prefers Sainz," I say, and instantly his smile turns into a serious expression, which makes me laugh.

Soon, Charles' dimples appear on his cheek and my heart skips a beat at the sound of his typically somewhat flawed and exaggerated laugh. Oh, how I enjoyed hearing that horrible but at the same time very cute laugh again.

At that moment, even though I hated to admit it, I realized how much I missed that feeling of familiarity and lightness. And even though just a few minutes ago, I was doubting whether I still knew the person that Charles had become, I could see that regardless of the years and tragedies that life had subjected him to from a young age, that kind and playful boy that I had once fallen in love with was still there. And maybe he would never leave. And I liked that.

Looking at Charles smiling, sitting in front of me, I wonder for just a second if it would have been different if I hadn't left. But as soon as the thought came, I pushed it away. Because even though I was happy to know that Charles still had something familiar to me inside him, we were not meant to be even before Jules' death. And I doubt that we could have maintained a good relationship with all the pain and mourning that surrounded us. I made a good choice. Yes, I did the right thing.

Leaving Monaco was one of the hardest things I had to face. But it made me grow and become a strong woman. I learned to deal with loss, even if it may not be the healthiest way, it still worked for me. I was able to finish college, got the job I wanted, and met new people. I fell in love, and even though I didn't love them like I loved Charles, I still allowed myself to feel and try happiness. Clearly, it didn't work out, but the experience was worth it.

And I can also say that Charles has achieved what he wanted, or almost everything. He is one of the best Formula 1 drivers and drives for Ferrari, which is almost every motorsport athlete's dream. He has a successful career and is known worldwide for it. And even though he didn't get the title he so desperately craved last year, he may get it this year. He is focused, grateful, and kind. The golden boy. Il Predestinato.

Even though Charles is so young, he has given his family and friends everything they ever dreamed of. Pascale must be so proud of him, and if Harvé were still alive, I'm sure he would also be proud of the son he raised. And Jules would also be proud to see Charles' progress.

And then the emptiness appears again. Jules. I try my best not to think about him. The memories are still painful even after all these years.

I think I let my thoughts reflect too much because Charles, who was laughing before, now looks at me with a compassionate expression. He probably thought of Jules too.

"I miss him too," he says and I nod my head. "And I missed you too," his hand meets mine on the table.

There were no ulterior motives. Just a gesture. A gesture to affirm what he was saying. And it hurt. It hurt in my heart and soul.

I quickly withdraw my hand from his and stare at the table. Charles withdraws his hands and keeps them close to his body.

"I know you didn't owe me anything, Marie. No explanations, not loyalty," he starts, his voice a little broken, making my heart tighten. "But Jules died and you left. Why did you leave?" he asks, and I can hear the hurt in his voice.

I wished I had the strength to lift my gaze and tell him while looking him in the eyes that everything I did was out of fear and thinking that there was nothing left for me in Monaco. That I still loved him even after he broke up with me and that losing Jules to death destroyed me, but knowing that I would lose Charles while he was still alive would only ruin me even more. I couldn't see him every day and know that he no longer belonged to me. And that every minute I spent mourning and heartbroken without him reminded me that love was impossible for me. That I didn't deserve to be loved. That there would never be anyone to love me.

"I had to go," I say, still staring at my hands. "I don't expect you to understand or forgive me. Because I'm not asking for any of that, Charles," my voice sounds firm but my eyes burn.

I take a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds before releasing it. I raise my gaze to meet his when I'm sure the tears won't fall.

"I had to make a choice and I did. I chose myself," I say simply, perhaps trying to convince myself.

Charles nods his head and goes back to fiddling with the rings on his fingers. This time it was difficult for him to look at me.

"I'm happy to see who you've become, Marie. And I hope you've achieved what you wanted when..." he pauses for a second, unsure of what to say, "when you left Monaco." A tired laugh escapes his lips. "I'm not going to judge you, especially since when you left, we were no longer a couple. But I was an idiot to think that we were still friends." He looks back at me. "I was foolish until I realized that there would be no possibility for us without Jules being here."

I wanted to scream. I wanted to stand up and throw everything in front of me at him. I wanted to curse at him and tell him that he didn't have that right. But to be fair, I could never do that. Not when I left, when it was me who left what was left of the three of us. Jules had died and I had fled. When I left, I didn't think of Charles or his feelings. I only thought of myself and how I could never live with that.

I don't regret it. I did what I thought was necessary and would do it again. Charles might have needed me, but I needed to leave and heal. And that's what I did. Charles still had friends and family to rely on, and I had no one. No present family, no friends, and no boyfriend. Charles and I both mourned, of course, but we mourned in different ways. He had lost a friend, and I had lost everything.

There was no one to come home to and hug. There was no one there to tell me that they were sorry for my loss and that everything would be okay. So I went after what I thought I needed and I got it. I went in search of myself, a new life, new choices, and opportunities, and I found them. I found myself. Of course, I let go of a lot, and the void left by Jules and Charles was never filled, but I learned to cope and use it to my advantage for other things, and that was enough, at least for now.

Before I could respond to him, I'm interrupted once again by the sound of the damn doorbell.

Charles and I turned our attention to the door at the same time. Both of us were staring at a slim blonde woman, wearing a green coat and leggings. But what caught our attention the most was the little boy in her arms. He was about 3 or 4 years old, with dark hair, lying with his face hidden in the woman's neck, and his small hand clutching onto her collar as if he were afraid she would leave if he let go.

Charles and I stood up in rehearsed gestures, all at the same time. He stopped beside me, his hand resting on my shoulder, covered by my own coat this time. The woman looked at us and came slowly towards us. When she got closer and stopped about a meter away from us, I could analyze her.

Her face was thin and perfectly symmetrical, and even though it seemed like she hadn't slept in days, her tired eyes were a beautiful shade of greenish-brown. She is very beautiful. Her lips opened in a small smile, and there I could see that she easily fit Jules' type.

"I assume you are Charles and Marie, right?" She says, her voice sweet and tired.

My gaze moves from her to the little boy in her arms, and then they cross with Charles'. He tells me through his eyes the same things I am thinking. We return our attention to the blonde in front of us and nod.

"Great!" She clears her throat before continuing, "I'm Cecilia, and this little guy here is Vincenzo." She gently shakes the child, who tightens his grip on her coat collar even more. "Jules' son."

Charles' grip on my shoulder becomes stronger, and I swallow hard. I can't take my eyes off the little boy, and now up close, I can see his profile. His chubby childlike cheek and long eyelashes, just like Jules'.

Cecilia shifts uncomfortably, her feet shifting the weight from one to the other, and she adjusts Vincenzo's position in her lap.

"I know you must have thousands of questions, and I promise I will answer them all. But before that, would you mind if I sit down? Vincenzo is a bit heavy, and I walked here with him in my arms," she says, embarrassed.

"Of course not. Please," Charles approaches her and pulls the chair he was sitting in a few minutes ago. Cecilia sits down, careful not to make any sudden movements and wake Vincenzo.

Charles points to the empty chair, and I sit down. He takes a few steps hto the table next to us and takes an unoccupied chair to sit on. Once the three of us are seated around the table, Charles calls the waitress, whom I only now notice has been staring at us this whole time. The redheaded and smiling girl, who probably can't be more than 19 years old, approaches with her gaze fixed on Charles- she probably recognized him.

Charles is the one who orders. A cappuccino for me- which causes a sensation in my stomach that he still remembers- an iced tea for himself, and he asks Cecilia what she would like to drink, to which she responds that coffee would be enough. The redhead writes down the orders and asks for permission to leave. Her eyes still glued to Charles.

I roll my eyes internally, but I know I can't blame her. After all, it's probably not every day that she serves a public figure. When we used to come here with Jules, the employees were different, and the small café is located on a somewhat isolated street in Nice, so it's unlikely that many famous people come here.

I take my gaze off the waitress and turn back to Cecilia, who was already looking at me attentively with a small smile on her lips.

"Well..." Charles begins. "Why are we here, Cecilia? Why only now have you contacted us?" He leans forward a little more, his arms resting on the wooden table.

Cecilia shifts in her chair carefully and her eyes briefly glance at Vincenzo before turning back to us.

"I wanted you to meet Vincenzo. While he was alive, Jules always mentioned you as part of his family. He loved you both very much," she says, and I feel my chest tightening.

"But why only now?" I speak for the first time. "I know you wrote in the letter that you were afraid, but it still sounds strange that you would come looking for us now, without any reason," I say, trying to keep my voice steady.

Cecilia falls silent for a few seconds as if she wants to formulate the next words carefully.

"There's a reason," she confirms. "Look, I know it's strange, and I assure you that I'm not looking for any money or anything like that." Her gaze shifts from me to Charles, as if she wants to confirm the latter part specifically for him. "Jules and I met about six months before he died, and it was love at first sight."

"He never told us about you," Charles responds cutting her off and she nods.

"I know he didn't. I asked him not to," she says and Charles and I exchange confused looks before turning our attention back to her.

"What do you mean? Why would you ask him not to?" I ask, finding it all very odd.

"When I met Jules, I was in a complicated time in my life," she answers and I see her face darken. "I was only 19 and had run away from Italy." Her voice trembles as if it's hard for her to mention those times again.

I wish I could tell her that she didn't need to tell us if she wasn't feeling comfortable, but the truth was that it was really necessary. After all, that's what Charles and I are here for.

Charles nodded for her to continue and I could feel his tension.

"I got involved with the wrong people in Italy," she continues. "There was a boy I had been in love with during my teenage years, Paolo was his name. We were very young and stupid, you know?" Cecília laughs and her eyes fill with tears. "Like every teenager, we thought we were invincible, but we weren't. When I was 17, I spent most of my time at parties and clubs with him. We drank and did drugs, and everything was fun and happy until it wasn't anymore. Over time, the drinking and drugs stopped being just for parties and began to become necessary for anything. From being able to concentrate on studies, to being able to get out of bed. My parents assumed that Paolo was to blame for my addiction and banned me from seeing him. I obviously went against them and they made me choose between a life with them or my ruin with Paolo. I, being young and foolish, chose love and abandoned my parents without looking back. I left the life I had to chase adventures with Paolo and he did the same, running away from home. But the thing is, we were two addicted people without a home and money. There was no more money from our parents, so we started doing whatever we could. Small thefts and even..." She stops for a moment, thick tears streaming down her face.

"Here." Charles extends a napkin and she takes it, wiping her face immediately after.

"Thank you," she says and he offers her a half-smile. "Even prostitution," she continues, and I feel my stomach churn. It wasn't disgust, but rather a pity for imagining someone in that situation. Beside me, I could see that Charles was equally uncomfortable. It was hard for him to put himself in her place.

Charles grew up with great parents who did everything for their children, and even though they weren't millionaires at the time, they still managed to have and offer a comfortable life for them. And I bet that if any of the three, Charles, Lorenzo, or Arthur, had gone the wrong way, Pascale would never have abandoned them.

And me, well, I was lucky. I spent my teenage years with Jules and Charles, who had a structured enough family to share with me because my parents were absent.

Obviously, Charles and I had our rebellious phase with occasional drinking and smoking weed. But Jules, being almost ten years older than us, always kept us in line like a good older brother. And if he knew that we had crossed the line at parties or anywhere else, oh God! He would freak out.

- "Cecilia, I know it's difficult for you to say this, but I think it's important for Charles and me to understand," I say and she nods.

Cecília takes two deep breaths before continuing, and that's when I'm sure the story would only get worse. I try to prepare myself to hear what she had to say.

"I prostituted myself a few times without Paolo's knowledge. Some traffickers gave me drugs in exchange for sex and since many times I had no other choice, I accepted. But one day he found out and that ended us. With us." Tears returned to stream down her face. "Paolo went crazy when he found out and went after the trafficker I had slept with. He got a gun and killed the guy. We were on the run for a few weeks, but it was too hard for two homeless addicts to hide in Italy. Soon they found us and..." She closes her eyes and sobs.

I stretch my hand across the table and take Cecilia's hand. There was a lot of pain there and part of me wanted to curl up and stop listening, but I couldn't. I glance at Charles and he meets my gaze, his eyes reflecting distress at hearing everything that came out of her mouth. It was too surreal for him to hear all of that.

"They killed Paolo and thought they had killed me too. But by some miracle, I managed to survive and ask for help at a church. The priest there was friends with my parents and managed to find a family in Nice who were willing to help me. So I came to France, went through rehabilitation, and started attending meetings for drug addicts." Her eyes become distant again, and I continue holding her hand. "It was on the way back from one of those meetings that I met Jules, and that's where I understood the reason why I survived. We fell in love, but he had a public life and I couldn't expose myself because I was afraid that they would come after me. I told Jules what had happened and unlike what I thought he would do, he embraced me. He promised me that he wouldn't tell anyone, not even you two until I was ready and safe. And he did that. He kept us a secret for months. We saw each other every time he came back to Nice, after the races." She finishes.

Charles and I watched as Cecilia tried to calm her breathing, her grip on the sleeping Vincenzo's body tightening as if afraid he might disappear from her arms at any moment.

It breaks my heart to see all her pain and gives me a completely different perspective from when I walked in here today. She loved Vincenzo, and that was clear, just as she had loved Jules. And that's the part that hurts me the most.

Knowing that the reason Jules never mentioned her to us, his friends and family, was sole to protect her, made my heart heavy and warm at the same time. That was so Jules.

I remember months before he died, he started to spend more time in his hometown and whenever we asked him about it, he said he wanted to spend a little more time with his family. We even found it a little strange, but Jules always had a great relationship with his parents and closest relatives, which made us simply let it go and just enjoy the time we spent together before he and Charles had to go back to racing.

"I'm sorry for all of this, really, Cecilia," Charles is the first to say after she seems calmer. "But we still need to know why you're only coming to us now," he says, and I agree.

Cecilia nods and looks at Vincenzo in her arms. The tension emanating from her makes me shiver, and Charles probably noticed it too as his hand finds my thigh under the table.

"About two days before Jules' death, I found out I was pregnant with Vincenzo," she says and I nod in understanding. "Jules was racing in Shanghai and I was scared and alone here." The tears that had ceased returned in stronger waves.

My mind teleports back to 2019, to Jules' last race. He was so happy to finish seventh that day. But, all of a sudden, he just wanted to go home and rest, not even celebrating with the boys on the grid.

"I sent him a message after the race. I said I needed him to come to Nice as soon as possible because something had happened," Cecilia looks at Charles as she speaks. "Then he sent me a message saying he would take the first available flight back to France."

As Cecilia talks, Charles' grip on my thigh gets stronger. I look at him from the corner of my eye and I can see the moment his Adam's apple goes up and down.

"So that's why he left so quickly that day," Charles' voice sounds low. "He left before I could talk to him..." His eyes fill with tears and his breathing becomes a bit unstable. Cecilia just nods and closes her eyes tightly before continuing.

"When Jules arrived in Nice, it was already early morning and it was raining heavily. He tried to get a taxi or Uber, but couldn't get either," this time I feel my breathing falter a bit as she continues. "He managed to rent a car from a nearby 24-hour agency and sent me a message saying he would arrive soon and that I didn't need to worry because no matter what was happening, everything would be okay and that he loved me."

Charles stood up abruptly. His face adopted a look of disbelief.

"It was you..." his voice was weak and accusatory. "It was because of you that he... My God!" He flinches and his hands pass through his face and his hair.

"Charles..." I try to calm him down, even though I am also anxious. "Charles, please sit down and try to calm down." I try to grab his hand, but he recoils in a sudden movement.

"Calm down? It's her, Marie!" he says, pointing to Cecilia who only shrinks into her chair and holds Vincenzo even tighter, as he moves uncomfortably in her lap. "She killed him! IT'S HER FAULT THAT JULES DIED!" he screams.

My breathing becomes difficult and my heart races. In front of me, Cecilia sobs and holds Vincenzo even closer to her body.

All that commotion made some employees start to appear and approach at a safe distance from the table.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Cecilia pleads. "I swear I never wanted this to happen, I was so scared and..." She stops when she hears Vincenzo's low cry.

Charles' attention goes to the little boy as he realizes he is now awake. He shakes his head in a negative motion and leaves the café in a hurry, slamming the door hard behind him. We are startled by the noise and the little boy cries even louder. I quickly get up to go after Charles, but before I do, I turn to Cecilia.

"Please wait here, okay? I'll try to calm him down. Don't leave," I say, and she nods, her face stained with tears that continued to fall, and her breathing accelerated as she rocked Vincenzo, trying to calm him down.

A dark-haired waitress approaches with a glass of water in her hands and places it in front of Cecilia. I thank her with a gesture and quickly leave through the door to find Charles.

It doesn't take me long to find him, he was in front of a black car. His body leaned against the driver's side. Even from a distance, I can see his body shaking and hear the sound of his erratic breathing. I approach him slowly, so as not to startle him.

When I get close enough, I think about touching him, but the thought leaves my mind when I realize it's not a good idea.

"Charles..." I call him softly to get his attention. "I'm sorry, but we need to go back there. She-"

"No!" he exclaims. "Please, Marie! Don't ask me to go back there. She killed him! It was her fault!" He stares at me with red and swollen eyes.

My heart tightens at the sight of him like this. I find myself being sent back to the year of Jules' death, specifically to the day of his funeral.

I wanted to hug Charles and tell him that everything would be okay, but in reality, I didn't know if it would. Jules had died almost four years ago, and yet it still hurt every time his name was mentioned. And hearing today from a stranger the reasons that resulted in his death was not easy. But there was a reason why Cecilia wanted to contact us after all this time, and we needed to know.

I take a deep breath and decide to approach Charles more. One of us had to try to be rational at this moment, and if it had to be me, okay. I wasn't going to go back to Italy without an answer.

"Charles, I understand that it's difficult to hear all of this suddenly," my hands go to his face. "I know it hurts, Charles. I'm feeling it too." He closes his eyes and I feel tears rolling down my face. "But we can't blame her entirely, Charles. She was scared and just wanted to talk to him.”

“And it resulted in his death." He says, his eyes opening and meeting mine. "Marie, if she hadn't done what she did, he would be here now. He would be alive and he would have met..." His voice trails off. "He would have met his son." He cries and I pull him into a hug.

Jules died without knowing his son. Jules died without knowing that he would have a son. Jules died in the dark without knowing what was happening to Cecilia. Jules died alone and worried, and nothing we can do will bring him back. He died. It's over. But Charles and I are still here.

"Jules died without knowing his son, but we're still here and we can do this for him," I say and he squeezes me tighter.

"We're still here, Charles. And we can do this." He breaks the hug and looks at me with a face full of sorrow. I nod.

"We need to go in there together. Together," he looks down at his feet. "Charles, I need you to go in there with me because I can't do this alone." His eyes come back to me and he understands that I used the same words he did a few years ago. "Please, Charles. I don't want to do this alone. I can't." He nods and I take his hand and slowly lead him back to the cafe.

When we walk through the door, my eyes meet Cecilia's. I nod my head to let her know it's okay, and she nods in understanding. I look at Charles who stares at her expressionlessly. His gaze is icy, totally different from the one I once knew.

Still holding Charles' hand, I walk toward the table where she uncomfortably waits for us. I notice that Vincenzo is no longer in her lap and feel momentary concern that quickly passes when I see him playing with the same red-haired waitress who had served us.

We sit in our chairs and I see that our orders are placed on the table. I feel my stomach churn just looking at the cappuccino in front of me. I take glance around and notice the employees trying to avoid looking at us. I make a mental note to "solve" this problem so it doesn't follow us when we leave.

"Just say what you want," Charles breaks the silence, his eyes still staring at Cecilia who nods and swallows hard.

"I understand your anger, and I know I have no right to ask for what I'm about to ask," she says and my hearing sharpens. "I live with guilt for years. Whether it's for Paolo or Jules, guilt and remorse follow me wherever I go. No matter what I try to do, they're always there." She looks at her hands. "Last year, I relapsed. I used heroin, once, but I used it. After years of resisting and not even going near drugs, I let my messed-up mind fall into the hole and I shot up." She lets out a desperate laugh and her eyes fill with water.

My body freezes and Charles makes a sound of scorn beside me. When he opens his mouth to say something, Cecilia cuts him off.

"Yes, I know I'm a whore, and I deserve the worst shit life has in store for me. But that's the thing. I deserve the bad things, but my son doesn't," she says firmly, looking at us seriously. "I need Vincenzo to have a good and decent life. I need to make sure he grows up loved and that he never lacks anything." She looks away for a moment to the table where Vincenzo was happily playing with the waitress and then back to us.

Cecilia takes a deep breath and leans forward. I could swear she was capable of asking for anything at that moment. Money, a house in a distant place, a period in rehab, anything.

"I can't take care of Vincenzo anymore," she asserts, her tone exuding bitterness. "I promised Jules that I would do everything to make him different from me. And that's why I came to you after all these years."

My head spins. She's asking for...? No, it's not possible.

"What do you mean by that?" Charles asks anxiously.

"Cecilia wipes the tears from her face with her hand, blinks a few times, and adopts a determined look, a look that I knew well. The same look I gave to myself in the mirror when I decided to leave Monaco. Suddenly, I feel afraid because my suspicions are confirmed.

"She wants us to take care of Vincenzo," I say.

#charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc x black!reader #charles leclerc x reader angst #charles lecrelc #pierre gasly #carlos sainz fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #lewis hamilton #formula 1

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darcylightninglewis · 5 months

Note

Good morning!!! Sorry to bother but since you are the most knowledgeable person I know about Hellcheer can I ask you if you have ever read a fic where Chrissy survives Vecna and then joins the group to defeat him? Thanks in advance and have a great day!!!

Okay, first off, you're never a bother, ever.

Secondly, I am honored by your ask. Sorry for the delayed response, it's...it's been a weird emotional exhausting few days but we're back!

Where my brain immediately went to

Chrissy and Eddie’s Infinite Mixtape by @little-scribblers-heart

What may be (to my reading knowledge) the most epic rewrite of S4, really can't recommend LovelyThings enough.

(sooner or later it comes down to fate) i might as well be the one by @majicmarker

Another great one and one of the best stream of conscious Eddie writers I've ever come across. Their fics always make me laugh.

someone reaching back for me by @enoughtotemptme

Okay, this one is gonna make you sad, but eventually very happy too! It was the first groundhog style fix its fics I read for season 4 and introduced me to the writer's work who I also can't rec enough.

EDIT

OMFG, I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T INCLUDE @hangon-silvergirl!! Thank you for pointing out my mistake, @majicmarker <33

Bonus Tracks by @hangon-silvergirl

Everything by her is amazing and this is no exception. I love it when folks use things we learn from con's in fic (like Chrissy's would be Vecna song), superb. A WIP, but off to a killer start.

Now below these are ones that have been on my Marked for Later list because I'm just in need of pure uncut fluff these days but come highly recommended.

the pleasure, the privilege, is mine. by melodicvinyl

I just love the starting premise of this one, I can see it being a thing Eddie does to make her smile or it's actually his mundane superpower that finally comes in handy. Also love their other fics too.

Linger by CircusBones

Hawkin's High 10 Year Reunion! Class of 86! Chrissy Cunningham has built a life in California, far from the demons of her youth, from her mother to Vecna. There's people who were always good to her, though. Healing might have taken her away from them, and coming back has its own challenges. This story moves between the events of 1986, and Chrissy experiencing Hawkins ten years later.

I've read their shieldshock fics and love them so I'm sure I'll love this too.

like hands that tick on a clock by theredhoodie

What if Chrissy Cunningham wasn't Vecna's first victim, but she survived instead? How would that have changed things for everyone? A ST4 shippy rewrite.

aesthetic chills by sloelimbs

"aesthetic chills" is the literal translation of frisson, which is the feeling you get when listening to a really good piece of music.

put your lips close to mine, as long as they don't touch by Percyjacksonfan3

Here's the thing about Chrissy Cunningham: she actually is the straight laced dependable good girl that everyone thinks she is. She's also, until she starts having these weird visions that make her feel like she's going out of her mind, insanely bored. Or, alternatively, the fix-it AU where Chrissy doesn't die and she and Eddie try and figure out what the hell is going on with her. And with them. Also, the usual gang is there. Eventually. Because these two need some serious help fighting demons and figuring out that they are not just friends.

If I missed an author's tumblr name please forgive me, I'm preeeetty brain dead. If I missed any fellow Hellcheerios, please drop them in the comments as I'm sure this isn't an exhaustive list. But hopefully enough to get you started babes!!

Hellcheer to canon:

#fic rec #hellcheer #eddissy #st au fic #otp: you're a freak

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thatfreshi · 2 months

Text

A Post-party Interlude (Uni AU P. 19.5)

Hello everyone! Here is an interlude to catch up with our characters after the fated Halloween party, divided by hours of the night.

TW - mentions of self-harm, mentions of grooming, mentions of drug abuse, mentions of alcohol, extensive talk about sexual trauma in the 5AM section

-1 AM, the RU Rooftop, Gale and Shadowheart-

"You want a hit Gale?"

"No, not now."

...

"I'm sorry I dragged you out there like that. You can't just say that kind of stuff about people. Especially not about me."

"That's hardly fair, considering how you've been about Mystra."

"Two entirely different situations."

"Shadow, you're hurting yourself."

"So are you."

...

"I just don't get why you can't be happy for me."

"Because, she doesn't love you. Not like your friends do, not like your mother does, not like I do. I've been your best friend for how long Gale, how long? And you don't trust me on this?"

"But you clearly don't trust me either."

"It's different! Things at the church are very-"

"Very what? Private? Painful? You've been different ever since you stepped foot in that place, and I just stayed quiet. I just never thought it would go this far."

"It's a religious reminder Gale-"

"Bullshit, it's a way for her to control you all."

"And Mystra isn't controlling you?! How you're always on the phone with her at her beck and call? You're no better than me, so don't get on your high horse as if you can judge me. School is hard, studying medicine is hard, I need something."

...

"I can't watch you hurt yourself."

"Then don't. Maybe someone else will get it, but you don't have to. Go cry to your girlfriend about it."

-2AM, Lae, Shadow, and Tav's Dorm, Lae'zel-

(This conversation has been translated from Lae'zel's native language.)

"Yes?"

"You haven't called in a while. You're supposed to call."

"Yes, I know. I've been-"

"Training, right?"

"Of course, what else would I be doing?"

"Really? Because a little birdy told me you've been slacking. You think those 'injuries' are really that serious, don't you? You think you're allowed to make the K'liir family look like this?! We're warriors! You're, a warrior!"

"Of course. I will not disappoint Grandmother. I shall be healed soon."

"Perhaps it should be 'Vlaakith' to you for now, until you can earn the right to call me kin again, if you ever earn it again."

"Yes Vlaakith, I'll call you back soon."

-3AM, Karlach's Dorm, Karlach-

"I know Coach won't stop bothering me about it, but should I really do it? It's tricky I guess, seems more like she's threatening me than anything. Purposefully injuring people in my matches isn't enough for her I suppose. Steroids though? What even are the side effects of that?

...

Aggression, stomach pains, sleep problems... is that really so bad? I have those sometimes. Everyone has a good ol' bout of insomnia from time to time... right?

...

If I don't though, and she kicks me off the team... I can't get kicked off the team, I would lose all my funding, my friends, Shadow... I'm sure it'll be fine, right?

...

Where did she even find these? Are they safe? I mean, she wouldn't want to kill her best wrestler, right? This is to enhance my performance not, uh, de-hance it. So, I guess I just go for it? Maybe one to start, it's not like there directions on this thing right? Nope, thought so.

...

No turning back now I guess. Tell Coach, secure my place here, get to stay with my favorite people in the world... it'll all be perfect.

...

Right?"

-4AM, Wyll's Bedroom, Wyll-

"Deal Wyll Ravenguard, I'm Professor Mizora, although I'm sure you know me more as an administrator. I've seen your work around campus and would love to offer you the opportunity to do more good, especially since your father doesn't get many things moving around this school. Please reach out if you're interested, in haste if you can. I look forward to hearing from you. Best Regards, Professor Mizora.

...

Huh, odd. I've never heard of her before. You think my father would've mentioned her at some point. Then again, he doesn't talk much to me anymore, so I guess not. I cannot believe Astarion said that to me at the party. I mean, he wasn't wrong, but still, how impolite.

...

Maybe I need to hear it though. That perhaps what my father and I had... it's beyond repair. This Mizora character though, she seems to know about how he is now, and she clearly knows about me.

...

Dear Professor Mizora..."

-5AM, Astarion's Dorm, Tav and Astarion-

You wake up to pacing around the wooden floors, trying to turn in a bundle of blankets and sheets that have been strewn about. You sit up and try to wipe at your eyes, only crusted over from a few hours of sleep.

"Aster?"

Your voice comes out a little torn up from laughter and words shared hours prior. You certainly spoke for a long time, and not all of it you can remember. It is him pacing, as you could only assume in your half-asleep state.

"Hm? Oh, I didn't mean to wake you darling. You can go back to sleep."

"Are you alright?"

He pauses, stopping his eyes from darting around for your question.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because, if your pacing woke me up, then it's probably not just for fun."

"No dear, I was simply cleaning a little. I woke up, I figured I'd do something useful with the time."

"Don't start this out this way."

Your sentence comes out more strained that you would've liked, but it's true: you don't want to start things with him with secrets.

"You didn't lie to me before, don't lie to me now."

You pat his side of the bed, beckoning for him to come sit. He follows reluctantly.

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

You furrow your brow and pick up a nearby pillow, threatening to start a fluffy fight.

"You know what! C'mon, talk to me."

He sighs, and you put down your weapon.

"Fine, if you insist on being open and honest or whatever... I got a little more drunk at that party than I wanted to admit, especially after I told you I can handle my liquor and all-"

"Out with it Astarion."

"Hey, don't you full name me."

You try not to smile at his banter, but it feels nearly impossible.

"I'm serious, out with it."

He runs his hands through his hair.

"We didn't... we didn't do more than kiss, did we? Ugh, that sounds ridiculous, I sound ridiculous!"

He gets up to anxiously move around again, and you get up to go after him.

"Hey, hey, no, that's not ridiculous! That's not ridiculous at all."

Astarion turns to face you.

"Why do you think that's ridiculous?"

Your question sounds meek, sad.

"You know... I mean I've slept with plenty of people, and I don't really talk about it with you because I didn't want you to see me that way, but I know other people have probably told you, and I know what happened when we met and I-"

You lightly grab his hands.

"Hey, as if I'd listen to other people. The only facts I've ever taken about you, are from you, okay? And sure, I've heard things, but it doesn't matter. And no, we didn't do anything else, and I wouldn't have done anything without your clear consent to do so, I hope you know that."

You gently pull him to sit back down with you on the edge of the bed.

"It just... it wasn't really up to me before. It was a survival tactic, you know? For money, because Szarr told me to... And that night? I only did it because I was scared you'd go off and tell someone the wrong thing at the wrong time, that it would only end up worse for me, and so I did what I always do. I did what I've always been taught to do."

"And you didn't want to do that this time..."

He seems embarrassed, as if he's trying to close up away from you.

"I don't think I've ever really had a healthy relationship with that kind of thing? And I just got really- really scared that I did what I've always done, that I did something I wasn't ready for. That just feels so stupid though."

"Why? Why does not wanting to sleep with me have to be stupid and ridiculous?"

"Because! Because you could go hook up with anyone you want. Everyone at this age, we're all doing it all the time. I'd be the weird one, right? I'd be the weird one, and you'd run off to someone else who actually wants to do something with you and then I would've ruined this before we even started it."

You pause, trying to find words.

"And this is why I didn't want to say anything."

"But if you didn't say anything-"

"Yeah. Yeah, if I didn't say anything, I suppose..."

He starts to choke on the sadness a little, that overwhelming feeling he's been trying to keep bottled up for hours.

"Astarion, look at me."

He does, with a look in his eyes as if he's been punished.

"I would never want you to do something you don't want to do, ever."

"But-"

"Nope, there's nothing else. You just never have to do anything you don't want to, ever again, unless it's like homework, or I don't know... not murder someone? Starting now, your body is entirely yours again, as it always should have been. Okay?"

He wraps his arms around you.

"Okay."

A mumble into your tattered adventurer's shirt from the night before.

"To be very clear though, I still want to kiss you, often."

You laugh as he leaves a kiss on your cheek, still crying some, your face matching.

"Of course."

You go on to talk for a while that evening, about boundaries, about various little things, even about how apparently one time he dyed his hair in middle school. Somehow, you get him to show you a picture. It's one of those nights, or rather, mornings, you know? One of those mornings where you laugh a lot, and then go back to crying, and you share that one traumatic story you thought you'd never remember. He tells you a lot that evening, good and bad, and you share a lot of tears. They're good tears though, tears that mean something. That morning, the good and the bad, it all means something.

#astarion x reader #astarion x tav #freshiau #angst #comfort

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reiynm · 4 months

Text

NEWS

First of all- HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! I hope you enjoyed the holidays and had a good time ✨ I wish you all the best and may this year be productive!! :D

(tw vent) I'd also like to take this opportunity to leave you this little note, a little note which does not particularly bring good news.

So… as you have probably noticed, I'm no longer very active on social media. Especially over the last three weeks. I'm still trying to post some drawings, but other than that, nothing regarding the story of my vn.

I received hate messages, messages that basically make fun of my poor writing skills and my bad english. I know it only comes from one person, and most of the time my game is well received despite these flaws, but I never thought I would attract so much hate from someone just because I created a game that doesn't suit their taste or standards.

And it hurts, because these aren't constructive messages… but also because it's true. I wanted to create texts to help me learn english. One thing led to another, these texts became a story that I subsequently made into a small Visual Novel. I don't speak English, nor am I a writer. I learn everything by myself. So, it's normal that it's not excellent. (and I never claimed it was) And I loved learning on my own. But now, not so much.

I don't know why I take this so seriously. Especially since I deleted all their messages… But all that led me to have my friends read the script, and their opinion was unanimous. The version in my mother tongue is, obviously, way much better… So, yeah- I will keep the demo online, but the final version will be in french. Maybe one day, if I feel able to, I will translate it into english. I'm very sorry, everyone.

And even if my mood isn't so great about my novel right now, I'm sure I'll get through it. In the end, I'll try to keep the positive things from this little experience.

I also wanted to say thank you. For your kind words, your kind criticisms (those who try to help me evolve, and who genuinely helped me) Thank you for your patience and kindness. This means so much to me.

So here we are, see you later everyone, I love you ♥ (and sorry I really had to vent, I've been keeping this inside of me for days oof <<')

#tw vent #vent post

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eddiebabygirldiaz · 6 months

Text

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @captain-hen @anxieteandbiscuits @lemonzestywrites @forthewolves @king-buckley @hippolotamus @watchyourbuck @shitouttabuck @lover-of-mine @thewolvesof1998 @heartshapedvows @jesuisici33 @hoodie-buck @wikiangela @monsterrae1 @exhuastedpigeon

thank you all! sorry it took me so long to do this <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

582,638

3. What fandoms do you write for?

only 911 at first but now i have a fringe fic and a wolfsong fic in the works

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head (eddie comes out to buck and to be supportive buck buys eddie a very gay mug)

today i live for a single drop of you (5 times buck dreams about sucking eddie's cock and 1 time he actually gets to do it)

when the violence causes silence (set after 6x10, eddie dealing with the aftermath of the lightning strike and working out how to confess his feelings)

we live and breathe words (buck finds eddie's poetry and realizes eddie is in love with him and decides to do something about it)

slowly getting sober from the taste of your skin (pwp, threesome between buck, eddie, and evil doctor buck)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i do! at least, i do my best, i know sometimes i get the notification and look away and completely forget asdfghjkll, but i love responding and weeping about my gratitude

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ummm all of my fics have happy endings sooooo i don't have an answer for this

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

ummm maybe red life might stream again because eddie and buck went through a lot of shit in that fic so i made it my mission to give them the happiest and sappiest ending possible

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i have been very lucky in that i haven't

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

oh yes i do. and i suppose it's very emotional and sappy smut. i do try to balance filthy and sweet

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

never written one

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to me knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

me and @elvensorceress started writing a s2 rewrite where shannon lives that i absolutely adore, it's taken a bit of a backburner but it lives forever in my heart. also me and @spaceprincessem plan on writing one that im sure will be so very self-indulgent

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

gotta be buddie (though polivia from fringe is a close second)

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

im not sure. i plan on getting all of my wips done at some point and i don't really think there is one that i won't (at least not at this point)

16. What are your writing strengths?

descriptions i think. i can paint a pretty picture and definitely have flowery purple prose. and a lot of people have told me i am good at characterization which i always worry about but am glad to hear that's it's something im good at even if i doubt it

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i cannot shut up. everything i write is so lengthy even when it doesn't need to be. being succinct definitely isn't my strong suit. and uhh i struggle with writing dialogue because i will get lost in the character's headspace and forget people are supposed to be talking

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i absolutely love it though i don't do it often because i get nervous about it. thankfully i have friends that i can ask if i am unsure about something and im trying to get more comfortable doing it

19. First fandom you wrote for?

supernatural

20. Favourite fic you've written?

gotta be to you i'm just a man (to me you're all i am) because i put my heart and soul into that fic and i really loved delving into the 118's dynamic and everyone's relationship with buck and creating new circumstances for eddie and buck to fall in love

no pressure tagging (and sorry if you've already been tagged) @elvensorceress @spaceprincessem @bvckandeddie @colonoscopys @housewifebuck @prettyboybuckley @rogerzsteven @paranoidbean @911onabc @honestlydarkprincess @bigfootsmom @try-set-me-on-fire @bucks118 @devirnis @giddyupbuck @disasterbuckdiaz @transboybuckley @rewritetheending @eddiediaztho @callaplums

#tag game #about me #fic writing #buddie fics #ryan writes #ry rambles

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dulcesiabits · 7 months

Note

hope i'm not over stepping my boundaries but i am curious. you said that there are some tactics you use in fanfics that cannot be used in "serious" writing. what are some of these things? or what do you think the differences between fanfic and "serious" writing is?

Hi!! This isn't overstepping at all! I'd be happy to elaborate on my thought process, but I do want to make several caveats!

I think "serious writing" wasn't a really good term for what I meant, so I regret that wording! A better term would be original writing instead. I do take every piece of writing I do seriously, even if it's considered "lowbrow," and I didn't want to imply that fanfiction was less serious or important to me. Every piece of writing deserves respect and love, because an act of creativity should be celebrated!

These are my personal thoughts, and mostly pertain to my own style of writing, so the advice I give here might not be applicable to everyone. The issue with creative writing is that there are no real rules as to what makes a piece good; it's all subjective. There might be some general guidelines for good writing, but every rule has exceptions, and can be broken if done right. This is partly why it's so hard to write, haha.

But let me answer your questions! Let me start off with your second question, just so it can set the groundwork for the first.

What do you think the differences between fanfic and "serious" writing is?

There are a lot of different categories for writing; an instruction manual is writing, just as much a piece of poetry or a short story can be. When I say "serious" writing, I meant my original writing, or my more "literary" works (said with quotations because even the very definition of literature can be debated endlessly; what gives a work merit? Sorry if I keep giving vague answers! These ideas can be approached from so many different angles that I want to give it justice and acknowledge the various complexities).

(Original writing might not be the best term, either, because non-fanfiction genres are so varied... YA, adult, literary, sci-fi, fantasy, etc... but I'm trying to keep this as general as possible).

In this case, I think that both fanfiction and original writing have their own merits; they're just different subcategories of writing, and it's like comparing apples and oranges. They're both fruit, but the flavors, taste and growth process are different, even if they share similarities. So, they're both forms of creative writing, but the skillsets that they require are different.

There are some similarities, though; they both require knowledge of prose and how it functions, characterization, the use of literary devices (similes, metaphors, etc), an understanding of pacing and how plot moves, and so on.

However, one of the major differences isn't even the craft of writing itself: it's "public perception." Fanfiction is seen as lowbrow, or embarrassing, and "original writing," while it can also be mocked, is seen as a bit more "highbrow" (not a hard and fast rule, as I'm generalizing here). Because fanfiction draws on a source material, people assume it's not as creative, silly, or requires less effort, when fanfiction writers know that's not true.

Some of the major differences between these writings involve characterization and world-building. In original writing, you'd need to build these completely from scratch, but in fanfiction, these worlds and characters are already there. Instead of building a character from the ground up, you interpret and translate an existing character into your own work (I use the term interpret and translate because all fanfiction writers are analyzing and writing their own versions of an existing character, so no one interpretation is more correct than the other (unless you completely disregard the source material), because none of us are the original author. If we were, it wouldn't be fanfiction). At the same time, fanfiction authors might build off existing characters and world-building to formulate new understandings of both (ie expanding a character or world beyond what we seen of them in a story). Both forms of writing require the ability to analyze and understand characterization and world-building, but apply them differently (creation vs interpretation).

Additionally, there are certain conventions to original writing and fanfiction writing, respectively, and the troupes utilized in both are different because they're different forms of writing. In fanfiction, you're working with a world and characters that your audience already recognizes. They already have context for the world, which means you can focus on other aspects of the narrative. "5+1," drabbles, headcanons, "AUs": these are all structures of fanfiction writing that we're familiar with, that are made possible precisely because the material you're working with is fanfiction. You couldn't necessarily do the same thing in original writing, when the audience doesn't have an attachment to or understanding of these characters.

In original writing, however, your audience doesn't know who these characters are or what the world is. Since you're working to build that connection, you have to develop the narrative as a whole, instead of taking pieces of it. "Insta-love," "boy next door love interest and brooding dark haired love interest," "secret evil religious institution," "it was all a dream": these are also some troupes that take place in some forms of original writing, which happen because original writing follows different patterns from fanfiction writing, but nonetheless, still have their own patterns and structures (which vary from genre to genre).

I do want to recognize that there are still similar troupes in both original writing and fanfiction writing! Forced proximity, pining, etc... these are used in both forms of writing (though potentially applied differently), because sometimes original writing can be just as self-indulgent or wish-fulfilling as fanfiction writing, just like how fanfiction writing can be just as literary and thoughtful as original writing.

Another difference is that, structurally, fanfiction can be shorter than original writing. You can write drabbles, snippets, and even multi-chapter fics that take years to complete, if they finish at all (I'm guilty of not finishing my own multi-chapter fic). But in original writing, you have to build the narrative yourself. You decide the plot, the character arcs, the ending, and the whole course of the story and its characters. Especially if you want to get published, you can't drop a story halfway through like you can with fanfiction (though there's no shame of getting bored with a WIP and dropping it), and there's no fandom to build your world for you.

You said that there are some tactics you use in fanfics that cannot be used in "serious" writing. What are some of these things?

When I said this, I was venting a bit about the frustrations in my own writing! I found that in my original writing, my literary writing, I'd skipped over the foundations of world-building and characterizations. I'm the sort of person who writes from the top down: I tend to focus on themes and motifs first before I decide on characters and individual scenes, and plan the end goal before I plan the details. But when I do this, sometimes the details get lost and my piece loses strength because I focus more on making my characters symbols instead of people. Fanfiction ties into this because I'm used to not having to build context for my characters and world, and when I don't do this, it's disastrous for my original writing. In fanfiction, people already know who Lyney and the Fatui are without me explaining it, but in original writing, people have no clue who my OCs or world are! If I forget to establish fundamental details of my world (like rules on how magic works, explaining the roles of certain institutions etc), it messes up my overall execution. I focused too much on the forest instead of individual trees, so to speak.

I also have a habit of making clean little sections in my fanfiction; I might do several drabbles that, together, make up a whole story, and I can skip scenes I don't want to write. However, sometimes my original writing requires that I write an extended scene, including all the "boring" set ups and character-building moments. Instead of certain context being built in, I have to write the context myself, which means I can't just skip around from emotional bit to emotional bit; I have to do the proper build-up for it (ie like how in my ruggie fic, I don't have to elaborate on what happened with Leona, and I jump around from emotional point to emotional point. But in original writing, I'd need to build the context for their relationship, why it fell apart, what made both of them act like that, their respective pasts, what NRC is, how the magic system works, etc).

When I write reader-inserts, I can be vague with details on who the reader character is, to make sure anyone can self-insert into them. However, if I were to use second-person POV in original writing, I'd need to think about intent (why this POV and not other POVs? what's effective about it? what purpose do I use this for?), and ensure I make the reader-character their own distinct person; you're not always supposed to self-insert in the reader-character in original writing, because the reasons for using second person POV are different.

In fanfiction writing, I can "let loose" and not worry over motifs or themes or other literary devices. I can just write for fun, but with my original writing, I'm more conscious of those things. Each detail has a purpose (my purpose in fanfiction is usually self-indulgence, but my purpose in original writing might be, say, to do a piece on the nature of grief, and as such, I have to pay more attention to the structure of my writing the devices I use).

Additionally, when it comes to fanfiction writing, I can lean on troupes (if I write a royalty AU, for example, there's no need to establish too many rules for the world because it's more about the characters playing different roles than the world itself), but in original writing, troupes are used with more care and purpose. Leaning on troupes and refusing to develop them beyond troupes can, in my opinion, lead to flat and uninteresting writing (if they're royalty, why? What's the world like? The system? Is there opposition? How does the government work? What's the history of the world? How does being royalty affect their interactions? Why did I make them royalty?). I can't do "short-hands" (ie leaning on troupes) in original writing, not if I want to be successful.

Also, in fanfiction writing, I can get away without a proper resolution. I can write a series of events, and explore a character's motivations and backstory, and never make it an actual "plot." But in original writing, I need resolution and a plot. I can't write a series of events, where we jump here and then there because I want to; I need those events to link together (or not link together) with a purpose (resolution is used loosely. If it's an ambiguous ending, or one where nothing changes, why? What's the purpose of that? What am I trying to express through a lack of resolution?).

So, the skills I've picked up from fanfiction writing have helped me become a better writer, but some of those skills don't translate quite as well to original writing.

#liya answers #THIS WAS SO LONG OMG....#My apologies if you were expecting a different answer anon TT TT #It was just a really interesting question so i found myself wanting to do it justice and give you a thorough answer!!!!#i can say a lot more on the subject... but i wanted to keep it general + brief #bc if i went in further with the nuances i'd be dropping a whole 20 page paper on your lap LOL #anywayz i love talking about the craft of writing!! hmu #id love to run a writing workshop sometimes lol (maybe for fanfic?)

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