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samandcolbyownme · 1 month

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Summary: anon request - "can you do a zach one where he like exposes him and readers secret relationship and she just goes with it , like " you weren't so quiet last night " and she just has her jaw dropped and says something back and it ends with smut"

Warnings: this one shot will contain reader having sexual daydreams during the podcast, those dreams will include, oral (m rec), unprotected sex, the rest will contain Zach's usual banter and fluffiness

Word count: 2.1 k | not edited

Also - I know it might get confusing, but the italics are what happened the night before, but in the form as if it's happening right now, like you're replaying the night in your mind. Hope that made sense, enjoy!

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

"You want to know what I think is crazy?" Zach asks as his fingers drag up and down your arm.

"Hmm?" You hum quietly as you keep your head on his chest. You feel him laugh slightly, "That no one has figured us out yet."

You laugh, moving your head to look up at him, "Well now you just jinxed the hell out of that."

He shrugs, a smirk on his face, "I mean I like us being a secret and all, but it's so hard for me to not say certain things when you're on the pod with us."

You nod, "Yeah, I know what you mean." You smirk, "So what, is that your way of telling me you're going to out us at tomorrow's show?"

He raises his brows, "I'm full of surprises babe. Guess you're going to have to wait and see."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

The next day, you're sitting on the red bench, headphones on and you're getting ready to do the show, but your mind just isn't there.

Instead it's elsewhere.

Specifically, replaying the time spent with Zach the previous night.

The way you felt coming back from the restaurant, you needed him, his hands resting on your hips as you unlock your door made you crave him.

When you finally got the door open, it was like the energy that craved one another clashed, As soon as you push the door open, he spun you around, lips on yours as he backs you into your apartment.

"Hey." A hand is woven in front of you, "Earth to y/n."

You look over at Tara and blink as you take your headphones off, "Yeah, hi. I'm here."

"Where the fuck did you go. You were like-" she mimics how you were staring, "Zoned out."

You laugh, "Sorry. I'm tired. I was up all night." Zach and Jared walk onto the set, "Oooh. Up all night doing what?" Zach teases and you roll your eyes, "I was coming up with a list of places that've already been to for Sam and Colby."

Zach sits down and raises his brows, "Wow that was very specific." Zach sighs, placing his headphones on and you can't help but laugh.

Friends around friends, lovers when it's just you two.

You lean back, placing your headphones back on and Tara speaks up, "So I have to ask, how does it feel being better than two of the most liked ghost hunters in the world?"

You laugh slightly, "What do you mean?"

"I know you do paranormal investigation stuff too, and just the fact that Sam and Colby are coming to you for stuff.. I don't know that just.." Tara laughs and you tilt your head, "Are you just saying that to make a jab at them?"

She nods and lean in to your mic, "Well then it feels pretty damn good."

"Alright, alright. Anymore and we'll be scraping your brain off the walls from your head swelling to the point of exploding." Zach tries not to laugh and you shrug, "Hey, I take it when I can."

You give him a quick and subtle wink then quickly change the subject, "Cat got Zach's tongue so I'll just go ahead and do the intro for him." You laugh, "What's up guys, we're here with Tara, Alyssa, me, Jared and oh, I guess Zach is here too."

Zach just stares at you and you can't help but laugh.

"Okay, but I love the fact that she announced Tara and me first." Alyssa laughs and you point to her. Tara nods, "Yeah, I'm going to have to say that we need to all vote to make y/n the person who announces the show."

"Like a pre-recorded track because there are days she isn't here." Alyssa points out and you nod, "I agree. All in favor." You raise your hand and instantly say, "Three versus two. Girls win."

"Youre ridiculous. Who invited you here anyway?" Zach rolls his eyes and you furrow your brows, "Um, you?"

"Can you just like, zip it." Zach motions at his mouth and you smirk, "Make me. Take my headphones away."

Zach tries not to laugh, "I mean, I can. But you might moan a little."

"Oh my god. No. No. No." you close your eyes and look away from him, but in secret, you'd be on your knees in seconds for him.

Zach places his hands on your shoulders, urging you to your knees. You drop down, complying to his every silent request.

You stare up at him as he shrugs his black jean jacket off, eyes locked on yours as his jaw is slightly slack from your hand sliding over his throbbing cock that's being held back by his jeans.

"I don't think.. you should say that to our guests?" Jared says with a nervous laugh, "I'm actually surprised you haven't gotten sued yet."

"Please." Zach shrugs, nodding to you, "She won't sue me."

Tara points to you, "I think you should just for his reaction.

You laugh, "Thinking about it."

You weren't thinking about that at all, Zach undoes his belt, followed by his jeans. The quick sound of the zipper going down causes your skin to perk up with goosebumps, caused by excitement.

You rise up from your calves, licking your lips as you work fast to free him from his boxers.

Zach speaking pulls you back into reality, "So now that we're past that embarrassing ensemble.."

Zach trails off and so does your mind, You loved hearing Zach's little moans and groans as you held his cock with your lips and tongue.

The way his fingers gentle drug over your head, slowly pulling your hair as his pleasure grew larger, "Fuck."

Zach didn't really swear in general, so when he did, and it was because of you. It was even fucking hotter.

You blink, snapping back into reality.

"So I thought we could talk about something serious today." Zach says and Jared laughs, "Oh no. Someone's getting fired."

"Yeah it's you." Zach says, pretending to be serious and Jared laughs, "I'd love to see you try, I'll just tell you no and you'll listen."

You laugh and nod, "No that's so true."

"Yeah whatever." Zach rolls his eyes, "No I have an exciting announcement."

Your heart thumps and your head snaps towards him slightly.

His eyes move to you and he smiles a little bit, "So, I have some news that may shock a lot of people, but I think everyone should know this, from me."

"What's the fuck is happening?" Tara asks and Zach sighs, speaking quickly, "We're going to be doing a live dropouts show."

You let out a breath and keep your stare on him, "Wow, Zach. That's great."

"Better be, because they want all of us who are here right now." Zach gives a thumbs up, "What a relief it was to get that off my chest."

You laugh slightly as your eyes trail down his neck to his necklace that's lying comfortably on his chest.

Your back slams onto the bed, Zach's lips kissing over any skin they can reach. You let out a moan as he sucks a hicky into the skin over your hip.

He kisses up over your boobs and up your neck. He leans up and you feel his cock slip between the folds of your pussy.

The shiny necklace dangling from his neck as you feel him slide into you fully. You find it so hot when it swings back and forth with each thrust.

"Hey, I can't lie." Jared laughs and Tara cuts him off with a yell, "Say it!"

You look over, at Tara, laughing as she keeps pointing to jared. You look over at Zach and he gives you a look that would make your legs go weak if you were standing.

It wasn't a weird look. It was him just staring at you, knowing why you keep zoning out, and he was just making it worse.

"I liked y/n's intro." Jared sighs and you look over at Jared with a clap, "Thank you."

"You definitely thought it was better than Zach's intro, right?" Alyssa asks and Jared laughs, "I'm not answering that."

You yelling with excitement, "Fuck yeah! Because you know that girls are just better than boys!" You motion between you, Tara and Alyssa.

"Whoa, whoa!" Zach says waving his hand out in front of him a few times, "Settle down. Settle down, I'm getting flashbacks."

"War flashbacks." Jared snorts and Tara asks with a laugh, "Flashbacks of what?!"

You look at Zach, laughing and he shakes his head while furrowing his brows, "I don't know what you're laughing about because these flashbacks are of how loud you were being last night."

It all happened so fast you blank, "What the fuck."

"What did he just say?" Jared asks, mouth dropped with surprise.

"Oh yeah, okay." Tara rolls her eyes and as you're still staring at Zach, he tilts his head slightly, giving his brows a quick flick.

He outted you at tomorrow's show.

Might as well roll with it.

"You gonna tell them or you want me to, princess?" Zach smirks and you shrug, letting out a dramatic sigh, "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"Oh, you know exactly what helps me sleep at night." Zach winks as you look at him and you shake your head, looking down to rest it in your hand.

"I can't tell if they're joking." Alyssa laughs and Tara cuts in, "Yeahhh, I mean, okay. I've actually been extremely suspicions about these two for weeks now."

"Oh please tell us what made you think that, Tara." Jared leans in, super invested into the conversation.

You look up and look from Tara to Zach and he shrugs, "Hit me." He nods to Tara and she smirks, looking between you and Zach, "Well for starters, he stares at her every time she looks away."

"I like looking at the back of her head. It makes it so I don't have anything mean to say." Zach shrugs and you just laugh.

"What else you got, Tara?" Jared encourages and Tara laughs, "Another thing is, they'll stop answering me at both at the same time. Like I'll be texting both of them and then all of a sudden.. radio silence."

"I have a very strict bed time, Tara." You and Zach both say, just adding fuel to the fire and you just laugh, knowing that you're caught.

"See!" Tara tells pointing, "See!"

"Well.. if you don't know you do now." Zach laughs and Jared eggs him on, "Know what? Zach. Care to enlighten us with a perfect confirmation?"

"What's my lawyer?" Zach yells looking around as he raises his hand.

"So isn't true? You and.." Alyssa points from you to Zach and you laugh, nodding your head slowly.

"Wow." Jared says, "I honestly did not expect this is come out onto the podcast today."

Zach reaches for his water and takes a sip, "Listen, we played dumb, but we knew what we were doing." Zach scoffs, "Alright. You can't tell me that you weren't fooled."

"I knew my suspicions were there for a reason." Tara laughs, "How long?"

"Two months." You laugh and they don't believe you. Zach nods, "No she's serious. It was after the episode with Jake and Johnnie."

"Oh shit, yeah I guess that was two months ago." Tara nods, "I'm just like.. having a holy fuck moment."

"Yeah." Zach laughs, "She came to see if I was as rich as I bragged that I was, and I must have passed inspection because she didn't go home that night."

"Oh my god." You laugh, "That's not.." you shake your head and Jared laughs, "I just.. that really does shock me, like.. y/n. Why him?"

You shrug, smiling as you look over at Zach. He glances at you and smirks, "What can I say? I'm full of surprises."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

Thank you for reading! Let me know how you liked it. Love you all! Thank you so much for reading!

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

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woodsfae · 11 days

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Babylon 5 S03E20 And the Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place previous episode - table of contents

It's kinda wild how much b5 is exactly to my tastes. Take this (and many other!) episode titles for example. Pretentious? Maybe. Poetic? Certainly. Full of allusion? Definitely. Makes me get shivers? Absolutely. They even give me things to complain about. I'm well settled into complaining loudly about Londo bullshit.

Last episode's beverage (for data point purposes) was straight tequila with pepsi chaser. The hangover was vile and I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep for three hours. Today's beverage - Bitterroot Brewing Co "Dirt Church" ipa. It's alright for an IPA.

"Z MINUS 14 DAYS"

I see we've moved several letters on from "t."

Yeah!! It's another Susan Ivanova personal log episode. The telepaths they've recruited are being dispersed. Sheridan is tired, and Franklin is still pacing the halls.

All the telepaths are being accompanied by a single Narn bodyguard. Fingers crossed for some of those bodyguards to start developing some telepathy of their own after spending a long time in close quarters with a telepath!!

Londo thinks it's time to "take care of" G'Kar?? FUCK OFF. He wants G'Kar tricked back to Narn and executed. Thanks to the previous flashbacks, I am well aware that this plot won't play out with G'Kar's actual death. But I still want to strangle Londo. Can I isekai into B5 just long enough to goddamn murder that man??

Religious Theo of the religious group whatevever is being highlighted this episode. In theory I appreciate how diverse B5 is, religiously speaking. In practice....ehhh. At least when it comes to people quoting the KJV and referring to "the lord" every other sentence.

Sheridan does look rough. And there's Delenn!!! Pretty in pink.

"[Ivanova] said you were carrying on cranky. I looked up cranky, it said grouchy. I looked up grouchy, it said crochetly. No wonder you have such an eccentric culture. None of your words have their own meaning!"

LOL!! Delenn is so cute. Also, very seriously, I apologize to every person who needs to learn English as an adult. It's a mess.

Once I saw a gif of Delenn propping herself up on a elbow in bed with Sheridan and I have been FERAL to see that scene ever since. Maybe today will be the episode? Delenn climbs in bed with Sheridan to make him sleep??

Na'Toth might be alive. Or her name might simply be a trap for G'Kar. I don't think Londo's plan is going to work out. If he didn't go back to Narn for literally every other Narnuan, I'm not sure he'd go back for his aide who is probably dead. Also I 100% have more faith in Vir than this. Idk where he got them, but he has a surprisingly well-developed set of morals and empathy.

Vir: "I won't. I won't go. I won't do it."

VIR BABY. Just say you'll do it, then go and collude and G'Kar. Londo is unhinged, threatening to have Vir's family stripped naked and whipped through the streets of Centaur's capital. What a fuck. He ought to be directing his energies towards getting back Lord Whatshisface who killed Adira on behalf of the Shadows. Refa. The show reminds me in a timely manner.

Speaking of Refa, he's giving very desperate vibes. Trying too hard to suck up, and that puts blood in the water for the sharks to scent!!

Well. Hopefully even if Vir gives into Londo's threat and tries to trick G'Kar, his obvious nerves give away that something's wrong.

Back to Londo and the Centauri court shenanigans. Londo is, undeniably, good at putting on the type of political front that works well on Centaur.

Susan's blowout is so good every day I have to assume it's part of the high-tech auto-dryer when you step out of the shower...or something. Because there's no way that SUSAN IVANOVA is spending twenty minutes every day achieving the most ideal blowout that has ever been hair-dried into existence.

OK I like the religious cabal a bit better now that I know they're smuggling up-to-date information about Earth politics into Bably 5.

GODDANG IT. G'Kar is trying to sneak back onto Narn. Well. At least I know he lives to die another day.

Vir, I am disappointed in.

Centaur attack on Vir!! He lives to become Emperor another day as well. Stakes drop considerably when you know certain characters' ultimate fates.

You know who I'd love to see again? AUNT PROPHETESS! Majel!!

Lord Refa's eyebrows deserve their own acting credit.

oooh, Centauri telepathy attack!!

Poor Vir. If only he had been able to keep his position on Minbar. He looked less stressed-out when he was spending most of his time surrounded by a tranquil environment.

The Baptist pastor is hanging out with Sheridan, who is struggling to relax enough to fall asleep while also doing paperwork. Maybe. don't do paperwork while getting ready for bed. Which the pastor is also bringing up, more delicately than I would.

the Pastor: DELEGATE IDIOT.

OK he can stay. He is speaking common sense.

"When youre worry tank gets full people stop coming to you, because they don't want to add to it."

Smart. "figure out how to relax or your people will stop reading you in in an attempt to protect you."

"Z MINUS 13 DAYS"

Zha'ha'dum minus 13 days??

G'Kar made it to Narn. There's climate change from the orbital bombardment. Constant wind, particulate coming down from the upper atmosphere, poor air quality. And I doubt they had recovered from the previous Centauri occupation, and possibly not even the Shadows' occupation before that!

Emperor Cartagia is going to be traveling to B5: that seems like a significant security risk! Maybe he'll get nerfed and we'll see the glorious ascension on Emperor Londo.

Refa's plot is to capture G'Kar instead of letting Londo do it. Fingers crossed for neither of them getting that glory.

Delenn says there's no pattern to the Shadows' attacks. The lack of pattern is probably the point - all over the place and unpredictable so the united forces are spread as thin and widely as possible. And the tactical data sorta supports that! They haven't attacked anything in the center of the sector, so refugees are going there. And Sheridan is picking this up now, too. They could nail all the refugees at once.

"I think this is as much about terror as it is about territory."

Yeah.

Hm, Delenn is horrified by Sheridan saying he needs to think like them to beat them. Unless she has a really compelling argument against it, I'm going to have to disagree. How can you counter a tactic unless you understand it?

Londo just knocked out a Centauri guard with a punch to rescue Vir. He gets no points from me, because he put Vir in that position.

Unfortunately G'Kar won't get to kill Londo for quite a few years, but maybe he and the resistance will get to kill Refa and his goon squad instead.

Damn it, Londo was two steps ahead of Refa this whole time. f.ucking annoying. Well. all Centauri warmongering genocidal politics are annoying. Refa being personally in charge of the bombardment of Narn is backfiring on his right now.

Oh so this means that Vir was an unwitting stooge in the plot all along, and that's extra scummy, considering it resulted in Vir being mindraped and made to believe he'd just given up his mentor and employer. Very very cutthroat politics. No wonder Londo didn't name the embarassment he was planning to remove on behalf of the emperor to prove House Mollari's value.

Baptist Pastor brought a gospel singer along with him, lol. That's very on brand. And super fucking amusing juxtaposition between her music and Refa being pursued and killed. "There's no hiding place down here." Refa being beaten to death.

Buuuut as much as I dislike Londo, I am a fan of the person responsible for untold suffering and death getting a tiny fraction of that delivered back to them. So...annoyingly... *sigh* go Londo...

It's so fucking funny that Londo had the ability to slip refa the other half of the two-part poison all along but instead he had him beaten to death for political purposes.

Vir is angry, but probably not enough to make him break from Londo entirely.

Delenn has a surprise for Sheridan - "the White Star was never intended to be one of a kind, only the first..." and now there's a whole fleet.

Hm. As far as first kisses on screen go, that one was pretty dated. I'm happy for them, but the "smear your face against the other person's face" is a style I'm glad has mostly gone away. It doesn't look very pleasant, hahah.

Mrs Sheridan, I presume?

#woodsfae b5 #g'kar #londo mollari

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namusthetic · 1 year

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The Weird Relatives at the Family Reunion

Half the rumors at the dining table involve them, but they attend family reunions just to cause drama. Their alliance still stands, and gets stronger each gathering.

No.1 - The Chaotic

Is made 70% out of anger issues and 30% out of spite

Does not care about people's opinions and judgement

Has no patience

Mom friend, scolds you first and then takes care of you anyway

Has their life organized, knows what they want

Only listens to a few selected people whom they trust

Devours sexists for breakfast

Their resistance to caffeine is the same as that of a 5-year-old to sugar

"Bold of you to assume I've reached my peak of dumbass"

Avoids physical touch

Their love language is food giving / cooking

A public danger when driving (and in general)

Eats cereals from the box

Falls completely silent when angry

Probably made a deal with the devil for clear skin

Hates the government with a passion

Listens to hard rock, metal and techno, not necessarily in this order

Helps children with mischievous plans

Ready to throw hands and chew people out if someone is getting bullied

Slapstick humor

Plots new, fun ways of causing mayhem

Catchphrase: "Improvise, attack, overcome."

Playlist:

Don't Stop Me Now by Queen

Istanbul (Not Constantinople) by They Might Be Giants

all the good girls go to hell by Billie Eilish

Cigarette Ahegao by Penelope Scott

LA ESPADA by Eternal Raijin

Scopin by Kordhell

Besos I by Bo Burnham

Supermassive Black Hole by Muse

My Ordinary Life by The Living Tombstone

Maneater by Nelly Furtado

spy? by WHOKILLEDXIX

Let's Groove by Earth, Wind & Fire

No.2 - The Neutral

Always looks half asleep or annoyed or both

Sarcasm and dark humor

Done with everyone's shit

"save the bees, punch a racist"

comes off as kind and easy-going, but would watch the world burn and not bat an eye

Is inclined to tollerate you better if you offer them coffee or cookies or if you start talking about books

Will cover for you if they like you, tell on you if they don't, you'll never know which one it is until the last second

They'll sit down in a spot away from the family chaos to either ignore or judge everyone

Has a keen eye for body language and nonverbal communication

Bad at managing anxiety and stress

"binarism is for computers, do I look like a fuckin MacBook to you?"

Says they don't like kids but carries candy in their pockets for their nephews

Commitment and trust issues

Starts yelling when they get really mad

Their love languages are acts of service and quality time

Not easy to impress, unless you start the conversation quoting Shakespeare or Dante

Passive aggressive

Listens to literally anything except country music

Hates parents who don't take their children seriously, so they're always ready to lend a ear and give advice

Helps no. 1 plotting by giving technical details and suggestions

Catchphrase: "Oh, I haven't told them good morning simply because I don't think they deserve one"

Playlist:

These Times by Far Caspian

Treehouse by Alex G, Emily Yacina

Tired by beabadoobee

Summer Child by Conan Gray

Young by Vacations

Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now by The Smiths

The Adults Are Talking by The Strokes

O Children by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

Sex, Drugs, Etc. by Beach Weather

Bitter Taste by Billy Idol

Obstacles by Syd Matters

No.3 - The Lawful

Sensitive, must protect

Love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch

Cannot cook for the life of them

Made of sunshine and rainbows

"Please, assume I have dignity"

Sweet but awkward

Wears sunglasses to hide the eye bags

Always rushing somewhere

Loves children

Takes things personally and thus gets hurt too often

Quotes cringy positivity lines

Hard working

Always brings something to eat

Is actually the most insecure about themselves and their body

No.1 and no.2 are ready to physically fight anyone who is mean to them

Cheers you up and has your back

Ready to forgive and forget, rarely blames people for stuff

Too willing to give second chances

Gives stern scoldings if they're mad

When something goes wrong they take it badly and get really sad

A cinnamon roll inside and outside

Knows how to play several instrument so they sing and play for children

Tries to keep no.1 and no.2 from achieving world domination

Catchphrase: "Even if the world is big, you're enough for it"

Playlist:

El Mismo Sol by Alvaro Soler

Brazil by Declan McKenna

OUR SUMMER by TXT

Baby I'm Yours by Arctic Monkeys

Hey Lover! by Wabie

Watermelon Sugar by Harry Styles

NIGHT DANCER by imase

HOME by BTS

Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) by Edison Lighthouse

Bossa No Sé by Cuco ft. Jean Carter

Swing Lynn by Harmless

Promise by Jimin

#moodboard #aestethic #character aesthetics #types of people #tag your aesthetic #character concept #tag yourself #song suggestions #playlist #chaotic #lawful #neutral

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charmedreincarnation · 1 year

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hi!i'm new in your account.

i'm so tired of my 3d,i want to enter the void state,as someone who's manifested nothing,who's obsessed with void,who' lazy af,who's always complains and all that shit,what you would recommend?

i would be happy to have an answer, I don't know what to do, I don't wanna live as me.

and i'm bad person, everyone hates me,i want to be loved :(

Ok long response incoming!!

If you're someone who is feeling stagnant and is looking for a way to break free from your 3D reality and enter into the Void state, I have a few tips for you.

Firstly, is to find your inner calm. It's important to be mindful and practice mindful exercises, such as meditating or even just focusing on your breath. This can help to quiet your thoughts and tap into the creative energy of the Void.

Second, take time out for yourself to relax and reflect. We often forget to take time out of our day to focus on ourselves and our inner needs. Find activities that help you relax and rejuvenate, such as walking in nature, art, reading, writing or even just having a hot cup of tea.

Thirdly, focus on harnessing your intent and visualizing your desired outcome. The Void is all about potential waiting to be realized. Spend time visualizing what it is you want to create. Get into a space of stillness and focus on sending out your intentions into the world. Believe that you can bring into existence what it is you wish to experience and attract it into your life.

Lastly, don't be afraid to take action when necessary. The Void is a creative space, and you don’t have to put it any work if you don’t want but you’re already speaking negative about yourself and habits so maybe you should to put in some work to manifest the things you desire. Be willing to step outside of your comfort zone and trust in your intuition to show you what is possible.

As for your last two statements, outside from an loa perspective, I've seen many people in similar situations where they start to feel like everyone around them hates them or don't have the same love for them that they would like. It can be a difficult situation to deal with, and trust me I would know and I’ve been here.

it is important to acknowledge that feeling of being unloved and take ownership of your own emotions - no one else is responsible for how you feel, not in a harsh way but in a way I mean that we create animosity toward ourselves. I promise no one feels towards you what you’re projecting that others feel towards you. All this is coming internally.

Second, try to shift your mindset and focus on more positive thoughts like how much you do love yourself, what you appreciate about yourself, and how you are unique. Remind yourself that everyone has faults, but that you are worth loving.

Thirdly, be kind to yourself. No one will love you more unconditionally than you can for yourself. You are a soul stuck in this body remember that, you might as well treat yourself with maximize kindness and love okay? Take the time for self-care and do something for yourself that brings you joy. Take a relaxing bath, read a good book or write in a journal. Journaling can help process your thoughts and emotions, so taking the time to write out your feelings can be beneficial in understanding your emotional state and helping address any underlying issues. I also want to add going outside and laying in the sunlight and listening to birds chirp and life’s beauty helps! I hate to minimize depression and self hatred to being solved by going outside but I promise the sunlight and earth helps from personal experience

Finally, if you feel like no one loves you, and that you are bad person, try to think of someone that does care about you and show appreciation for them. You can also try reaching out to a friend or even a mental health professional to discuss how you feel and get some guidance and support.

I know it can be hard to cope with feeling unloved, but it is possible to take steps to cope with this feeling and build better relationships with others and yourself. Remember, you are never alone and there is someone out there that cares about you. If you ever need someone to talk to, please reach out.

Now through an loa scope.

As we know law of attraction states that your thoughts and emotions are the most powerful tools for creating the life that you want. For example, if you are feeling bad about the current situation you are in, the law of attraction says that if you focus on the positive aspects of the situation, you will start to attract more of what you want.

For example, if you think to yourself “I don’t want to live as myself because everyone hates me”, try to shift your focus to why people may not hate you. Maybe you are an incredible listener or have a generous spirit. Whatever it is, focus on those qualities and start to believe in yourself.

It is also important to speak positively about yourself and the situation. It can feel silly at first but studies have shown that speaking positively about yourself is one of the most powerful tools for creating change in your life. So instead of telling yourself “I am bad person” try replacing that thought with something like “I am doing my best and I will get through this”.

As you start to focus on the positive aspects of the situation and tell yourself encouraging words, you will start to feel your energy shifting. You will become more confident in yourself and be able to take control of your life. You will know that even if people don’t always love you, you have the power to make your life something you can be proud of.

Even scientifically (long study ahead sorry I’m a psychology nerd :p)

Smiling, even when we’re feeling down, can actually be beneficial to our mental health. This phenomenon is known as the Facial Feedback Hypothesis, which is a suggested psychological phenomenon derived from the study of Charles Darwin, where he suggested that facial expressions can influence emotional states.

So how does this work exactly? According to the Facial Feedback Hypothesis, when we move certain muscles in our face, it can trigger the autonomic nervous system to react and send signals to our brain to change the emotional state we’re in. For example, when we smile, certain muscles in the face need to be contracted. This then sends signals to the brain, which in turn releases endorphins—a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and happiness—in the body. This then can make us feel better.

Studies have also been conducted to further support this hypothesis. One of these studies found that even forcing a person to smile—even though they may not be feeling happy—can lead to cognitive changes in behavior which resulted in a positive emotional state. So even if you don’t necessarily feel like smiling, if you force yourself to do it then, according to this study, it can lift your spirits.

Another study has also made the connection between facial expressions and mood. In this study, participants were asked to maintain a neutral expression while appreciating different positive and negative images. The results of the study showed that when participants were asked to maintain a neutral expression, they tended to be less impacted by the images that were presented. On the other hand, when participants were asked to smile while looking at the images, they felt their emotions were impacted more significantly. This is thought to have been because of the Facial Feedback Hypothesis, as the act of smiling activated their brain’s reward system, leading them to feel more emotionally engaged with the images they were looking at. I’m not saying smile through your misery, I’m saying there are ways to help you no for one not feel the need to hate yourself because you are so loved. I just want you to understand that you have the power to create positive change in your life and it’s a liberating feeling, and I hope that this knowledge helps you feel better when faced with difficult circumstances.

The tongue is powerful and you found the law so you can make the best of your life and be your dream self but that change starts within.

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lisutarid-a · 2 months

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[Gakuen K] Yatogami Kuroh Route Translation

Why it tastes better than before

LIST OF CHAPTERS

[Translation under the cut]

Saya: Good morning, Kuro-kun. Are you feeling better now?

Kuroh: Yeah, I'm fully recovered now. Thanks to you, it didn't end badly.

Kuroh: Sorry to have caused you so much worry.

Saya: Un-uh.

Kuroh: What about you, are you all right?

Saya: Eh?

Kuroh: I mean, your ability. And any changes in physical condition…

Saya: Nothing so far. But I feel a little better than before.

Kuroh: I see. Good then. By the way, Konohana…

Kuroh: Do you promised someone to eat at lunch break today?

Saya: Un-uh. I didn't promise anyone. Why?

Kuroh: You said you wanted to eat my cooking at the school festival.

Kuroh: I made a little more bento today. If you don't mind, I'd like you to eat it.

Saya: Uhm! Of course! I can't believe I'll be able to eat Kuro-kun's cooking again…I'm so excited!

Kuroh: If you're that happy about it, it's worth the effort I put into making it. Well, see you at lunch break.

Saya: Well then, let's get started…Can I have an omelette?

Kuroh: Yeah, please enjoy.

Saya: Thank you for the food!

Kuroh: How does it taste?

Saya: Uhm! Very delicious! It was tasty before, but I think it's even tastier now.

Saya: Did you change anything since the last time you made it?

Kuroh: No, I didn't change any seasonings…

Saya: I see. Oh, maybe the way you fried it…?

Kuroh: No, I didn't change the tools and the cooking degree should have been the same as usual.

Saya: Huh, I see. But it's really delicious. You are a really good cook, Kuro-kun.

Kuroh: But, could it be…

Saya: …Kuro-kun?

Kuroh: Sorry, I just remembered I have a few things to do. Please keep eating.

Saya: Eh, what's wrong? I won't be able to eat this much…

Saya: …He's gone. I wonder what on earth happened…

Shiro: Haa, I'm tired~!

Neko: The lecturing was too long~! Sensei is Wagahai's enemy!

Saya: Huh, Neko-chan, Shiro-kun. You two look tired.

Shiro: Hey. Actually, Neko accidentally knocked over the vase. I was with her, when it cracked, and got called out too.

Saya: That's…tough. Are you okay?

Shiro: I'll manage with cleaning toilets and weeding somehow.

Neko: Shiro~! Wagahai is hungry!

Shiro: Ah, okay-okay. Wait a minute.

Neko: Whoa, Gohan have two bento?

Saya: Un-uh. This is Kuro-kun's. He suddenly left earlier…

Shiro: Come to think of it, we also passed Kuro, but he looked really serious. …Are you guys in a fight or something?

Saya: Un-uh, I don't think we are…Kuro-kun's omelet tasted even better than the last time I ate it.

Saya: So I asked him if he changed the way he made it, but

he said he hadn't chande anything particularly, then he said he remembered something he had to do and left…

Saya: I wonder if I might have offended Kuro-kun…

Shiro: Umm…I see. Maybe he had an idea why the taste changed.

Saya: Idea?

Shiro: Right. Kuro is the kind of person who acts immediately when he has an idea.

Shiro: And I have a rough idea where he's headed.

Saya: Does Shiro-kun know anything about it…?

Shiro: Well, who knows? Fufu. This is getting interesting. Well then, let's have lunch.

Saya: (I wonder if Kuro-kun is back…Ah, there he is!)

Saya: Kuro-kun!

Kuroh: A-Ah…It's you.

Saya: I was so surprised. You left so suddenly. Here, your lunch box.

Kuroh: Lunch box…I see, that reminds me, I left it there.

Saya: Neko-chan and Shiro-kun came over, so we ate together…

Kuroh: It's okay. I didn't have time to eat.

Saya: Where have you been?

Kuroh: That's…I'll tell you later. Can you come to the rooftop after school today?

Saya: Eh? Okay, but…Is this something you can't talk about here?

Kuroh: Yeah, it is.

Kuroh: I got it. I'm on cleaning duty today, so I'll be there as soon as I'm done.

Saya: (I guess he figured out why it tasted so good…Let's finish cleaning quickly and go!)

[Prev chapter][Next chapter]

#k project #gakuen k #gakuen k wonderful school days #otome translation #yatogami kuroh #isana yashiro #neko

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a-cloud-for-dreams · 1 year

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Hii 🥰

I saw this picture and thought it might inspire a fic or an edit (no pressure 🥰)

omg this cake looks so good!!! i am literally obsessed ty!!! this may be angstier than i thought but:

Once A Shattered Heart

Book: Open Heart (Post Book 3)

Pairing/Characters: Bryce Lahela x F!MC (Chandini Ramakrishnan), feat. Aishwarya Pillai (F!OC)

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Childhood trauma/Insecurities

Category: Angsty Fuff

Words: 1.7k

Summary: As Chandini and Bryce work on planning their wedding, he helps her deal with a heartbreak that never healed

A/N: lol i don't know what came over me idc how tired i am i love angst <333 also a lot of Tamil people have their last names as their father's first names just a random note in case anyone was curious

Of all the things Chandini went through, it was a surprise to find that wedding planning would be so excruciating. Why on earth were there so many things to look through? Venues, guests, catering, and organizing between a Hindu wedding or a classical reception. Not to mention her phone's incessant buzzing. She sighed as she planted her face into one of the couch pillows.

She felt a strong urge to nap after such a day. She would have collapsed on their couch earlier if it wasn't for Bryce helping her. He currently sat at the island calling Keiki and asking her opinion on the table settings.

"Ugh, I don't know Keiks, that's why I'm asking you! I'm 100% sure she would prefer the NAVY blue tablecloth"

She chuckled to herself, keeping her gaze on her fiance. Her charming, hilarious, supportive husband who she still felt like she didn't deserve. He cut the phone call and walked towards Chandini, planting an eager kiss on her forehead. A giggle slipped before she could control herself.

"You're so adorable, you know that?"

"How dare you insinuate I am anything less than bold or intimidating," she retorted before taking his arms and placing them around her cold shoulders.

"Whoa, Nini you're freezing!" he said. Chandini rolled her eyes. "Are you sure you don't have a fever or something? I don't think we can move our wedding to a hospital on short notice."

"I'm always cold. Besides all the sweaters are in the wash because someone keeps stealing them."

"Okay, that was only one time-"

Her phone rang, for what felt like the tenth time that day. Who could it be? She craned her neck to see the lock screen on her phone and saw one person she would never want to see in her life ever again.

"I...have to go Bryce. After all the work we just did I believe I deserve a nap." She left his arms and he was able to see the woman who kept calling her.

Oh for God's sake.

He played the voicemail she sent and physically restrained himself from throwing a pillow across the room.

"Chandini. I know you are purposefully ignoring my messages and frankly, it's just disrespectful. I'm sure none of your other friends do this to their mothers. I need to speak with you immediately after I meet with one of my clients."

~~~~~~~~

There are moments in Bryce's life where he regrets everything he does during intense moments. This was not going to be one of them.

He rang the doorbell to Chandini's mother's condo that she coincidently bought a month after she announced their engagement. He scoffed when she tried to argue she wanted to have more real estate in the Boston area. The woman answered shortly after the first ring and gasped in surprise when she saw her future son-in-law in front of him.

"Miss Pillai."

Sometimes, he forgot how similar Chandini was to her mother. From the thick wavy hair cascading off her shoulders to her prominent facial features, not to mention her intelligence. It wasn’t a surprise. Banerji was a brilliant doctor on her mother’s side and that family genius must have passed on somehow because there was something about the woman in front of him that exuded a feeling of superiority. She knew she was better but unlike Chandini, she wouldn’t feel guilty tearing other people down to bring her up.

She laughed deeply. "Please, Bryce. If we are to be family I insist you call me Aishwarya.”

He squirmed before continuing, eager to leave back to Chandini as soon as possible to make her a bowl of soup for her potential cold. "Okay, fine. Aishwarya, you need to leave Chandini alone."

Her facial expressions tightened with anger and stared deeply into his. “Excuse me?”

"She doesn't want you there, and you need to get off her back."

“I can’t believe this,” she muttered, delicately bracing her head with a hand, something Chandini did all the time whenever she was in distress.

"For the record, she doesn't want Mr. Ramakrishnan there either. Or Ramakrishnan? I guess that's his first name, right?"

She ignored his somewhat rhetorical question and muttered something under her breath. "After so many years she's still being this dramatic."

His blood started to boil against his wish. "Excuse me?" he asked, repeating her tone.

"I believe your hearing is working just fine, Doctor Lahela. She's so dramatic. She has the audacity to leave and go against her mother’s wishes not even thinking of apologizing. Even you forgave your mother. What is her excuse?"

He balled his hand into a fist at his side. “It’s not an ‘excuse’ to not want to talk to a parent who took her anger out on her daughter because of her cheating father. God, how do you not understand how messed up that is?!”

She wasn’t startled at his exclamatory tone, almost as if she was prepared to make him mad. “I did no such thing! I don’t care for what her cowardly father did. I know for a fact that I raised a poignant, hardworking, and successful young woman or she wouldn’t be where she is today!”

Bryce stepped closer to her and laughed scornfully. “You’re the reason where she is today?! In a career, you didn’t want her to pursue?”

“Don’t speak on things you don’t understand, Doctor Lahela. I admit she would have been a better lawyer but I can admit I am proud that she is a well-known doctor. You would have never met her if it wasn’t for me. It’s simply pointless to deny my role-”

“In what? Making your daughter feel like she doesn’t deserve to be loved? For making her feel like she has to do everything all on her own or she’s a burden?” his hand started shaking, and it took him so much of his willpower to not tremble with emotion.

“It’s not my fault she thinks of herself that way. I don’t know what she did with her father but I know for a fact I gave her all the tools she needed to succeed,” she threw her hands in anger.

"That doesn't mean she's happy!" he yelled. He took in a deep breath before proceeding. "When I started talking to her for the first time about her family, she never said anything. She always seemed closed off and she never told anyone anything. Do you know what that does to a person? Shoving your emotions so low to the point where you feel weak for being human?"

“I-uh”

“Speechless huh? Not something you see every day in a lawyer,” he jests. She glowered at him, and Bryce could have sworn he saw tears forming in her eyes.

"You don't know my life, Dr. Lahela, and you never will. I have made sacrifices for her-"

"That doesn't mean you didn't make mistakes!" his voice started rising again. "You need to accept that she's not ready to see you right now. Even after helping her in the Martinez trial. Even when she was almost on her deathbed."

He was almost out the door before she spoke again.

"I don't think we'll be getting along as much as I thought, Bryce."

He scoffed. "If it means being on Chandini's side, I'm alright with that..."

The slam of the door sent a ripple of pain through Aishwarya. Was it guilt? Anger? Shame? A text from Chandini popped up on her screen.

I am tired of arguing with you and Appa. I’m not changing my mind. Please stop texting me.

Aishwarya cradled her face in her hands. She cut a gaping wound in their relationship from the day she was born and now she would bleed the consequences.

~~~~

He made it back to their house and sighed happily when he saw Chandini, making a large pot of soup with baked bread. She heard his footsteps and turned around eagerly. "Bryce, you're home!"

He raised an eyebrow. "You're excited. Did you think I would get lost?"

She laughed. "No, I found a cake you would like!" Chandii swiped through messages on her phone Sienna sent her. "She sent me a few pictures from the first bakery we went to together to pick up Rafael's birthday cake, remember? And look at this!"

A glazed marble cake with intentional cuts seeping with candy jewels and a heart-shaped jeweled decoration dominated his vision. He fell in love. "This is perfect!"

She squealed, unexpected for someone like her. "I know! Sienna really did a good job finding a cake, though I should probably request a navy blue color instead..."

Bryce wrapped his arms around Chandini as she was talking, desperate to hold onto this moment forever. "You're amazing, you know that, right? I'm so excited to wake up and spend the rest of my life with you." He kissed her nose softly.

She smiled, sniffling to hide any unwarranted tears. "Well, at least I'm glad I'm marrying someone with excellent taste."

Perma Tags: @peonierose, @jamespotterthefirst, @choicesficwriterscreations

#this might be my favorite thing i've ever written tysm peonie!!!!#i have another fic for my babies almost done soon! feat. kehlani because i can <3 #chandyce🌙#bryce lahela x mc #bryce lahela #chandini ramakrishnan oc #open heart #playchoices #choices fic writers creations

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scalamore · 1 year

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Ch 94-95 Proposal Analysis (Rupert's side)

A continuation of my thoughts from

Starting off, I love this panel so much:

Lari's face just screams: I'm so done. Idk what's going on with you Rupert, but it's been a long day, please shut up with your nonsense. I don't want to deal with it right now.

But the panel right before this, I found interesting:

Either way, Lari is absolutely offended that he even resorted to bribing her to stay at the palace. First he tried to promote her to various positions, then even the position of crown princess through marriage (it's not even a promotion anymore but a life-long commitment with its own problems), and as a last resort he offered up a bag of precious jewelry that literally came out of nowhere as a dowry, with the same, blank, bored face this whole time. This was too much randomness for her, so she tells him to please stop, she's tired now. AGAIN, I LOVE THIS SCENE

Its a misunderstanding, but it's so consistent with their characters thus far: Rupert, who never experienced love, who doesn't know how to lo

Lari, who believed that no one would love her, can't recognize love.

In this arc, we see Rupert acting so differently than usual: He doesn't yet realize it himself, but he really really likes Lari. He was so worried for her that he had to run down to Belois immediately to check up on her himself, him getting jealous at both lehan and Sir Baileys when he sees Lari giving them attention. He was jealous how Lari nagged at Lehan about his smoking when she never nagged at him, and how she really appreciated that flower that Sir Baileys gave her. He sees how happy she is to be home... and for all he knows, she might want to quit her job at the palace and go home at any time. So to prevent that, he offers her incentives to stay at the palace, even money, but she declines it all. As crown prince, one would think he's the best candidate ever: money good looks highest political standing Yet Lari rejects it all. Things that a normal person would want, she doesn't want any of it. So then, if she doesn't want any of that, then what on earth can Rupert do to encourage her to stay by his side? Their promise was literally "as long as he is in power, to protect House Belois from harm". To him, that's nothing. If he needs to, he'll have his army protect them, he'll sign orders for them to be protected. It's ridiculously easy. He literally doesn't have to do anything to fulfill it. But he doesn't feel that it's enough. Again, why does Lari want to be his ally although she hates/fears him so much? He really appreciates and wants her to stay beside him in the place, but he literally has nothing that would entice her to stay. She's getting closer to marriageable age - one of these days, for all he knows, she'll meet a nice young gentleman and choose to get married to him and leave the palace. He's going to be Emperor soon, he already has the money, prestige, and good looks, but yet she doesn't want any of it. What the heck should he do to keep her with him? There's not much he can do right now, so the status quo continues - she works as his head attendant, and he treats her nicely because he wants to. -- As a very straightforward guy, I love how it's consistent with Rupert's character that he knows that he wants Lari to stay at the palace, so of course, the best way to get someone to do what he wants is to give them encouragement with the most common things: political power, having them fall in love with him, or money/riches. Lari is literally the only one who he can't persuade in this manner: - she doesn't want his money (she can't be bribed) - she has no interest in elevating House Belois' or her own power (can't bribe her with political power) - she doesn't want to marry him, because they don't even like each other that way (which is true). --- Interestingly, I'm not sure how to translate the above line when Rupert offers her the jewels: Taking it in context, all the below are valid: I'll give you everything (all that he owns) I'll give you everything (just the bag of jewels) It's all for you.

Either way, Rupert is literally offering Lari riches. In this context, I'm wondering if they rearranged a scene in the next arc to this one, in the sense that Rupert has completely accepted her as his ally, and in turn, he's willing to do anything for her and make all her wishes a reality. So she's understandably suspicious and wary when Rupert offers her "everything". She didn't want that much, but yet he so easily gives it to her? What's the catch?? what does he want from her?? That's what it means to truly be Rupert's ally - everything he has, also belongs to that person. He just wants to share everything he has with her. Lari will realize it's a very heavy responsibility.... and once she realizes the extent of Rupert's feelings for her, that simple offer of his is just tremendously heavy and she knows what it means if she were to accept it...

#your majesty please spare me this time #rupelali #manhwa #otome isekai #YM 95

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adarkrainbow · 11 months

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Hello!

Turns out I was lecturing about my own history too ! I'm also French and I kind of studied the 19th century in depth years ago 😅. Though I've also studied litterature, but I'm more a history student and my brain went 'trump card activated'!

As for Castles, I agree, with all the big Castles in Ile de France (Fontainebleau, Versailles, Le Louvre etc, it's not surprising that in our minds Castle = BIG

I've discovered this blog a couple of months ago now? And it bring me great joy. Fairy tales were always an area of interest to me but I never studied them so I'm devouring all your posts on them.

Thank you so much for the blog!

Oh I didn't meant it as "it is vexing when I'm lectured by a foreigner about my own history". The thing is... in general when someone points out you don't know your own history, whoever they are, no matter the time, the condition, the intention, you'll always feel embarassed and vexed because that's how human body works X) Be it a British tourist who knows more than you as you chat by the sea-side about the big battle-ship nearby or your very French neighbor who points out the classic French book you praise wasn't written by the person you think wrote it... You know it is just one of those embarassing moments. Didn't meant to sound like the archetypal xenophobic French "Those damn foreigners putting their nose where it does not belong!"

Yeah - I studied literature myself, and while I do casually enjoy history (and am forced to know about it), I am not at all a history hack. I can tell you the full history of fairytales but do not ask me to list you the order of French kings.

Well this blog has been around for... a couple of years now? At least two years around - so while it is pretty "young", you managed to dig up one of those ancient posts nobody comments or reblogs anymore X) But at the same time that's literaly what I created my Masterpost list for - so newcomers can dig through the old archives they might have missed.

I have to say you're welcome! I admit with this blog I have my ups and downs - being literaly an over-stressed Master student trying to scratch some last-minute time to finalize a mémoire you one day believe is the greatest thing on earth, the following day reject as a stupid piece of overbloated uselessness... This blog is literaly an anti-stress system I put together originally to act as a side-way to my actual fairytale studies, so it can be quite moody X) And the periods of relaxation and calm usually coincide wth the "grandes vacances".

But anyway - all of that to say, that I do appreciate your compliments! It is just that you know, trying to bring forward French stuff to a side of Tumblr that is not big or keen on French culture (it comes to no surprise that when I work on a long, complex, full post about Perrault it gets reblogs I can count on a hand, but a throw-away hasty short post about the Grimm gets dozens and dozens of reblogs in a day), I always get tense when I make a mistake because my whole credibility is blown into little pieces by the overtly-critical and always-judgemental eye of the dreaded RANDOM AMERICAN GUY WHO COMES OUT AND SAYS HA TURNS OUT YOU ARE NOT AS FRENCH AS YOU SAY YOU ARE...

... I usually do not get as expressive and agitated in a post, especially an answer post, but I am tired and overwork so i'm just having a quiet little mania moment :)

#how do you tag a post #where you just ramble like a madman #prophetizing about the end of the world #and how lawn gnomes will take over our jobs #i don't know #i am tired #but the giggling for nothing kind of tired #need a friggin drink #pure cold water #that's the stuff

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paleneckauthorcowboy · 5 months

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I'm posting the last I have fic I currently have written in the c!Kestin timeline, more might come later but I'm not sure. I don't really have any TWs other than HABIT being in this fic, and c!Kestin is slightly spiraling.

Life's better now, I'm happier, and things are actually normal. I don't know how I'm alive though, but I guess that doesn't really matter. I'm here now, somehow I ended up in New Jersey. I sit up from my bed and stretch a bit letting out a groan. I'm not a morning person. I get out of bed and make my way over to the bedroom door, I open it and am face to face with my boyfriend(s). I jumped a bit, not out of fear or anything, I just didn't expect it.

"Morning starshine, the earth says hello!" Habit greets me, or at least I think it's Habit. I smile at him as he gets out of the way so I can pass through the doorway. "Good morning, who am I talking to right now though? Sorry it's just really early." I ask as he rubs his chin, "first of all, it's 11 am, that's not early. Secondly, you gotta guess. If you get it right, you get a kiss." He chuckled and looked at me with a smirk. I sighed and looked back at him, he likes playing games even when I'm tired. "I'm gonna say... Habit, mainly because of how you greeted me, and how you're looking at me." I didn't add the fact that Habit always makes me guess, while Evan just tells me upfront who he is.

"Ding-ding-ding, bullseye! Good job, sweet pea! You want that kiss now or later?" He leans his face a bit into mine, waiting for confirmation before he does anything, so I just lean in the rest of the way and give him a peck on the lips. "I'll take that as a 'now' then." We both laugh as he leans back and starts walking to the kitchen, I follow behind him. "So, any big plans for today?" He asked as I sat down at the table, he placed a cup of coffee in front of me, it's made just how I like it. In his words 'overwhelming sweet with a shit ton of creamer.' But no matter how much he critiques, he always makes it the same. I really love that about him.

"Well, Evan and I are going to go walk around downtown, maybe stop by some new stores, and then we're going to go walk a few trails!" I described our day in detail, mainly because I've been looking forward to it all week. I always love spending time with Evan and Habit, even if I can only talk to one of them at once; I always know that the other is listening. It feels nice. "Right, I forgot about your little date today." He replied, I doubt he actually forgot, he's just teasing. "Yeah, so I'm gonna need Evan back, hun." I retorted, smiling sweetly at him. "Yeah, yeah, I know. I just wanted to see my pretty boy first." He grinned as leaned over and kissed my cheek. I can't lie, I love it so much when he calls me his, well anything. I just like knowing that I'm his.

"Well, it's good to see you too, but Evan and I need to get going. I love you." I beamed and kissed his cheek. "Fine, fine." He sighed and basically just flung Evan back into control. Evan does a little stretch and smiles at me. "Morning, are you ready to go?" Evan wastes no time to get going, in case a certain demon with a BAD HABIT of interrupting chooses to butt in. We get into the car and drive downtown, chatting about random topics ranging from new video games we want to play, to talking about ideas for stories, to even stories of the past.

We stopped by a few stores, the first was a beautiful antique store. We bought a few things, I got an old looking typewriter and a few stuffed animals; Evan grabbed an adorable tea set and a gorgeous jewelry box. Next we went to a vintage record store, mainly at Habits request; and a bargaining chip to get him to leave Evan alone for a little while. Finally, we went to the trails and hiked for a while, although I couldn't shake the feeling that we were being watched, but I kept it to myself.

I must have been spacing out while walking because I felt Evan nudge me a little, I looked over at him."Did you hear what I said?" Evan asked as I stared for a second. "Oh, no, I'm sorry. I think I zoned out for a second." I admitted that I hadn't been paying attention, he nodded. "It's fine, I just asked if you wanted to head home after this trail." He repeated himself, being patient with his boyfriend, like he normally is. "Oh, yeah. That'd probably be a good idea. We most likely don't wanna be out when it gets dark, I don't need to deal with ghosts and stuff." I stated, which was true; I don't want to deal with any supernatural forces. Well, other than Habit. Life is normal now and I don't want that to change.

We finished the trail, Evan had to just give me a piggyback ride to the car because my back hurt. He didn't seem to mind though. He was rambling on about Bioshock and I was about half listening, mainly because my mind started to wander to other places. The past. Both Evan and Habit know that I have an issue of reminiscing on time long gone and that sometimes it makes me kind of spiral. But it's not going to be like that this time, things are normal. I am better.

Before I even seem to realize it, Evan is pulling into the driveway. I lift my head from the passenger seat window and stretch my back a bit. We get out and Evan walks me to the door. "I've got to pick up my sister and drive her to her friend's house, but I'll be back. Are you going to be alright by yourself?" Evan asks, he seems a little worried. He probably noticed that my mind had been drifting quite a bit. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm just tired from talking almost all day." It wasn't entirely a lie, I was tired from today. But, I think we could tell that wasn't the whole truth. "Well, okay. But if you need anything, and I mean it when I say anything. Whether it be a hug, some food or to help you beat a video game. Just call and I'll be over as fast as I can." Evan finished his spiel, I smiled. He always seems to have a way of making me feel less tense. "I know, and thank you. It really means a lot." I kissed him on the cheek and he did the same. I watched him pull out of the driveway and waved goodbye before I entered the house.

I head upstairs and plop onto our shared bed, pulling out my phone and just scrolling on a random app. I do that for about 30 minutes before I see on my timeline, an 'on this day, 18 years ago.' A picture of me.... and Brian. I felt a small ping in my chest, a reminder of how much I miss him, not just him but my old life too. I stare at the photo for what seems like forever, my mind running through old memories, good and bad. But before I could let myself spiral I put my phone down and exited the app.

I'm better now, I can't let myself get dragged down by the past. I sit up in bed, knowing damn well it'll do me no good moping and burying my face in the pillow, just hoping for something that's never going to return. I get up and walk down to the kitchen, grabbing a glass from the cabinet. I walk over to the fridge and dispense some water, taking a mouthful before I pop an ibuprofen in my mouth and swallow. I walk over to the counter and stand there for a little while. Then I heard a noise behind me, I assume it's either Evan or Habit, so I turned around with a smile; but what I saw quickly wiped the smile off of my face and the glass out of my hand.

It was Brian, or I guess more accurately Hoodie. He's looking down at me as I stare back at him, too stunned to speak. But I was quickly pulled from my trance when the glass cup that was in my hand shattered on the floor. I looked down, almost in a panic; though I swiftly recovered. Opening my mouth to speak, although it took a few minutes for my thoughts to fully process into words. "Brian? Is that really you?" I sounded almost hopeful, so astonished that he might actually be in front of me. We stood in silence for a few moments before he finally said something.

"Yeah, it's me." I couldn't get a good reading on how he was feeling but I did notice a slight shake in his voice. I stepped forward, over the broken glass. "I... I'm happy to see you again.." I just barely mumbled, but I'm pretty sure he heard me. We stood in silence again. "I'm also sorry for how things ended. I'm sorry for what you had to see and that you had to find me, I mean.. I assume it was you..? Either that or it was him.." I rambled a bit trying to break the awkward tension. "Before you ask, no, I don't know how I'm alive or why." I added in. I just want him to talk, say anything.

Suddenly, he opened his arms. I just let myself fall into them. We had our arms wrapped around one another. "I missed you, like, a lot." I just blurt into his chest. "I missed you too. It's good to see you too, even though I was shocked." Brian rubbed my back like he did all those years ago, I felt tears well up in my eyes. "I'm still so sorry for leaving like I did." I spouted, he stopped what he was doing and put his hands on my shoulders. "Hey, No. Don't apologize. It wasn't your fault, you were hurting and you took the only way out that you saw. And I'm not going to get mad at you for it. All that matters is that you are here and you are happy. You are happy, right?" He ranted a bit but still checked on me.

"Yes, I'm very happy." I smile at Brian. He lifts up his mask and takes it off. He's smiling too. That same goofy gapped tooth smile that I remember. My heart felt warm, it's been years and yet he can still make me grin like an idiot. "I also saw that you have a new boyfriend." He teased me, poking my cheek. "Yeah, I do. Well, technically I have two new boyfriends." I retorted as he raised an eyebrow. "Two?" He asked with a slight smirk. "Yes, two, by technicality. The guy you saw is possessed by a demon whom I am also dating." I explained as I saw Brian rubbing his chin. "Damn, I guess you'd call that..." He paused, I looked at him. "Brian, don't you dare!" I exclaimed as he chuckled. "A two for one deal." I groaned as he laughed at his own joke.

"I see some things just never change. But that's good, I like you goofy." I hugged him again and he returned it. Things are good, they can finally really be normal. I finally have my reunion with my beloved brother.

#brian thomas #hoodie marble hornets #i am cringe but i am free #marble hornets #cross over #self insert #slenderverse #habit everymanhybrid #emh evan #habit emh #evan myers #everymanhybrid #emh habit x reader #oc x canon #emh evan x reader

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thirteensfavoritetoy · 2 years

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OK, I've spent the last coupla days trying to codify my thoughts on the whole concept of Yaz sacrificing something of herself for 13's sake, and even though I very much doubt this sort of thing will happen in the centenary special, I'm still gonna post about it here 'cuz I'd like your takes on it.

Anyway here's the idea: a situation arises where Yaz has to remain on Earth for some reason and the possibility of 13 staying with her on Earth comes up.

For her own part, I think Yaz would struggle with this idea at first because adapting to a "regular" existence back on Earth would seem rather mundane compared to all the adventures she's had with 13, but ultimately I think she'd be happy with it.

Why? Because as much as she loves everything that comes with The Doctor (adventure, danger, exploration, etc.), she loves the Doctor (the person) even more. And in the end, again for her own part, she would find happiness in them living out their lives together on Earth, still finding adventure and all that, just on a smaller scale.

However...in that moment, when truly considering the question of 13 staying with her on Earth or not, I think Yaz would ultimately say no.

Why? Again, because she loves 13 and would sacrifice something of herself for 13's sake; in this case, she would sacrifice her own happiness.

Yaz would feel that 13...a being who she knows has spent millennia traveling throughout time and space...would grow tired of an everyday existence on Earth, even if it's only for a few decades. And ofc 13 might protest against this, bringing up how she'd spent centuries on Trenzalore, 24 years on Darillium, decades in the Judoon space jail, etc.

But Yaz knows the Doctor; she knows that the Doctor would've left those places and those situations if she'd been able to do so, and if she hadn't felt obligated to stay. And Yaz does not want 13 staying with her out of a sense of obligation.

She also knows how important the Doctor is, how many worlds and lives she's saved throughout her travels. If 13 remained on Earth, who knows how many other beings throughout time and space would suffer, simply because 13 wasn't there to help? Yes, Earth needs the Doctor, but so does the rest of the universe.

And finally...even if 13 did stay with Yaz on Earth...and even if Yaz lived a very long and very happy life with her...Yaz is still completely mortal and would eventually die.

Sooner or later...it'll hurt.

And the last thing Yaz would ever want is for the Doctor to hurt.

I believe 13 loves Yaz so much that she would be willing to stay with her on Earth...but Yaz loves 13 so much that she would be willing to let her go.

#whew that was a lot #doctor who #thirteenth doctor #13th doctor #yasmin khan #thasmin

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discet · 2 years

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Hey again! I was curious about a couple things. 1.Is Marcy Autistic in your AU? Cause well, the whole fiasco revolving the is she/is she not autistic in canon is... tiring as a person with Autism, and having my favorite AU incarnation of Marcy be Autistic would be real cool. 2.What are your general thoughts on how canon handled Marcy's arc? Because I'm curious how closely AWIW will follow it. While I get they were really trying to push the whole change message, it seems like they do so in favor of ignoring a lot of Marcy's very real trauma and hurt, and so watching them put her back in a situation she was so clearly terrified of was... uncomfortable. Specifically in regards to returning to her parents. Because like, they kinda brush over the fact that Marcy, as opposed to Anne and Sasha, actually ran away from home, and usually happy, well cared for children don't tend to do that. Plus everything in regards to the indicators of her parents being at best neglectful (her considering being alone with them as still alone, the desire to live in Amphibia, her immediate attachment to Andrias) makes it feel like maybe they didn't fully think through Marcy's story end point while writing her, and just kinda threw in the line of 'can you call our parents' to be like "see? Marcy does want to go back to her parents, so they've definitely been nothing but good people this entire time, despite the fact that they dropped the bombshell of moving on Marcy's childhood best friend's actual birthday". And with you leaning into the whole "Marcy's parents aren't very good", I guess I was just, idk, pretty worried about the potential for Marcy to wind up in the same situation as canon, isolated for ten or so years with no decent adults in her life that we know of.

Hello again! Analysis and spoilers down below

1.Is Marcy Autistic

So I hate to answer like this cause it sounds like a cop-out, but Maybe?? Marcy's characterization in the AU is partially details I picked up for the show, partly things I inferred from the show, with maybe a few traits from myself to round her out a bit. I am not diagnosed one way or the other. But there have been a number of times I've read or heard autistic people/friends talk about their experience and thought to myself, 'Oh that's relatable'. So I might have written her as such on accident

As much as I would love to enthusiastically say, 'Yes!' to your question, my deep fear is that I am going to have Marcy do something/somethings that are atypical for an Autistic person to do. Then you and anyone who would take comfort in my confirmation at this moment, would then be disappointed by my inability to follow through down the line.

So I'm sorry that this is a wishy washy answer, but the honest one is this: I did not intend to write her as autistic. If she reads like that, awesome, I have no issues with that reading. I am not confirming for fear of disappointing people later if I am incapable of follow-through.

2a. How do I feel Marcy’s Arc was handled in canon?

I think we’re mostly in agreement here. There’s a lot of baggage from True Colors that the creators just kind of... pretend isn’t there for season 3? I wouldn’t be surprised if executive meddling kept them from really dealing with it.

The fact that no one brings up Marcy through most of Season 3 is always going to be a thorn in my side. Marcy’s last 3 actions Marcy takes in Season 2 are

1. Save Sprigs life. Sprig nor Anne ever bring this up again.

2. Manage to open a portal and save Anne and the Plantars, even though this put a target on her back and led to her being

3. Impaled through the chest. Her last words being a desperate apology for her mistakes

No one ever brings this up after true colors. This is not a moment of grief before they are going on silly adventures on Earth. Note: I like the silly adventures on Earth, I think those are good episodes, but they do absolutely squander the narrative momentum of True Colors.

I’ve read analysis that says Anne’s desperation to get the Plantars back to Amphibia was really subtext about getting back to her friends. Which I think is a fine reading, and maybe the intent, but I really wish they had put that on the page. I wouldn’t need much. It could have been Sprig asking in one of their late night chats ‘Hey do you really think Marcy is alright?’ and Anne hesitating for juuuuust a moment before answering‘Yeah, of course dude.’ Just to put that on the actual page. Just an emotional stinger at the end like we got back in S2 with Hopping Mall

Sasha is stuck in Amphibia but seems to make no effort or plans to try and rescue Marcy on her own, even though she has no idea if Anne could get back. Again a throw away line of ‘I’ve looked into ways to save Marcy, but we just don’t have the resources’ would have been enough to establish that yeah, Sasha was worried about Marcy and they really need to gather allies so we can help her.

I’ve written before about the main thing you asked about vis a vis Marcy’s parents here. So yeah, the little ‘hey, let our parents know we’re good‘ did ring a little hollow for me too. Kind of a cop out.

2B. Am I going to follow the same path as canon with AWIW?

No. Like usually I don’t super confirm or deny things like this but no. The ending I have sketched out currently is very different from canon, and if there is a grand moral to be learned, its not that change is a natural part of life we need to embrace it.

I think that is a fine lesson mind you, but canon already did it, and I have my own story to tell.

Note: I don’t know if its necessarily going to be better, its gonna be rough, but I think it is a happy ending for everyone

#awiw #Marcy wu #question

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lightdancer1 · 2 years

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A brief scene from a future chapter of Valley:

Himiko was alone in the Palace, save for Princess Usaki. Her cousin, in a sense, was sitting beside her very quietly.

"I had a cousin, once."

Himiko blinked and looked at her.

Usaki's face was a mask of grief.

"Her name was Jiren. She was....hurt. By her parents. Hurt very badly. For years. Everyone knew about it. I knew about it. And I did nothing. I wanted to survive." Himiko would long remember the look of sorrow on her face.

"Her parents hurt her in the way that Hideyoshi hurt people. For years. One day she got tired of being hurt. So she killed them. My cousin, Princess Sakura. Her father, Prince Akira. Burned them alive. Down to the bones."

Himiko was very still and very silent then.

"It was the Fire Lord, then, our cousin Azulon, who found her after that. She was in the middle of a furious rage and with great vengeance and furious anger launched herself at him because he hurt her. He told me this, you see."

Silence.

"I think it was a confession or maybe he was taunting me. I could never tell. Maybe it was a sense of guilt. We all knew. I'd seen the aftermath of....of some of it and I just sat back and I did nothing because I was afraid. A coward."

She leaned forward slightly.

"He killed her with a lightning bolt to the chest."

Himiko's eyes were wide.

"Because she fought to defend herself. Because she thought he might attack her, too. That's why I care, Himi. I was a coward, once. I let something horrible happen and someone who trusted me and was betrayed was murdered for it in cold blood."

Himiko's gaze was a wide, uncomprehending one.

"That's why Azula left, you see." Now her expression was a sad smile.

"She knew how poorly it would go in this Palace if people killed without sanction of the Fire Lord. I don't know how she found out, but she did know."

Himiko stood when she saw Usaki brandishing a scroll.

"That's her diary!" Her voice was angry.

Usaki's voice was cold and the shift was so abrupt that Himiko found herself staring in blank incomprehension to how that shift could happen that swiftly.

"She's a corpse in an anonymous grave in that hellscape of a city, no doubt. Killed in a war of gods and monsters. Lu Ten and the old Fire Lord are supposedly ghosts, now. If I see her ghost telling me to put it back, I'll put it back. Until then I'm not going to care what a corpse thinks, and I'll take being yelled for propriety on her behalf from anyone but the person who murdered her."

For a moment Himiko saw something very dark and unpleasant in Usaki's manner, a reminder that she too was of the blood of Enzozhu and that fire and fury would and could blaze out unpredictably. She sat back down.

"You were right, though. She was sentimental. Weak. In the end she did have a heart just like dear sweet little Zuzu." The contempt in her voice brought Himiko up short. "Zuko was always too weak for this place. Didn't have the brains or the brawn for survival. The war will kill him at some point, that's what war does. She was an ideal Firebender and the perfect Princess. And where is she now?"

Usaki sighed.

"I thought until now that I was the only one to even remember my cousin. And in this scroll, and a few others, her name survives."

She stood up in turn.

"So the next time you ask me why I still stand by you, I'll remind you of the last person I failed. Father asked me to stand by her and I didn't. He asked me to stand by you."

And with that Usaki stepped out, as Himiko sat in a room lit by torches.

In the corner of the room sat her sister, as she had last seen her in Earth Kingdom green. Azula said nothing, and the worst part was that she knew this was a mind-phantom. Her sister did not judge her. She stared at her with the kind of warm smile she'd hated in life and longed for nothing more in death.

"I'm sorry," she rasped.

The mind phantom said nothing and then in an eyeblink it too was gone.

#atla aus #in the valley of the shadow

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mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune · 2 months

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Of Course Toxic-Religious Guy Is Clueless About Hazbin Hotel...(I Will Talk About Sailor Moon Too)

[Note: Reading This Is Optional, but this will be for Mature Audience Readers Only. I will also be talking about a 3rd Close Call Dream I had before, which I may have already talked about. also I love Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, and I hope that Toxic-Religious Guy will not be so Toxic in the future...oh, and make sure to watch all the episodes of Season 1 of Hazbin Hotel before you read this, because it will be talking about Charlie's Adorkable Apple Goober of a Dad at some point and a few but not all stuff that happens in that Season. and I will talk about Sailor Moon at some point as well. ]

so, I will try to keep this not too long...

because I need to do some editing from my last posts I had did a few days ago, because I notice I made some mistakes and forgot to had certain words and well, I will have to look them over again today, cause I know I may have forgot what it was that I forgot to put down...guess half the time that can happen, because of the whole being tired and had to go to sleep...

anyway there was this video, that had some Toxic-Religious Guy, who I'm not gonna say who he is, but when I'm able to, I'm adding his name along with a certain woman who dared bad mouthed Nonbinary People in such a Toxic way that had to do with Transformers Earthspark's Nonbinary Character Nightshade.

so excuse me to that man and woman, if this Nonbinary Earth Angel Princess ain't on their side...

well, depending on the type of level Toxic-Religious that guy is...

he could either be on the same level as that one jerk from a few years ago, that hurt my feelings pretty badly, and who kept misusing those words at me that were either "may the lord have mercy on you" or "may god have mercy on you"...

it really did hurt my feelings pretty bad during that time, I was crying and everything, and even though like I pointed out many times when bringing this up, when I told that person it was hurting me and I think I did try to tell them to stop, but they wouldn't listen...

excuse me if I believe in the Goddess now, well I can still believe in God, but did that even matter that insensitive jerk...?

anyway I couldn't really bring myself to watch the full video of that guy, who just peeved me off a bit...but from what I can tell from checking if he was really watching the full episode in a reaction...

well it does seem to be a big no, but at least some people no matter their religious or spiritual belief or them being not religious or spiritual at all and some of them who are atheist.

wouldn't cross a line and take a fun show the wrong way, and understand that any form of "religion" in the said show, will be slightly different from real life, even if some of the said religion that is from real life could be added in a Fanon Timeline in a AU of the show.

I don't go by Christian anymore, and which I'm still in the Multi-Closet when it comes to that...because of my family.

I mean yeah, I was finally able to explain and talk to my Mom again about the whole Asexuality, and explain to her and get her to finally see that Asexuality can have any Romantic Identity.

but coming out to her and say "Hey Mom and Everyone Else In The Room, I'm Aroaceflux but I'm also Fictoromantic." is perhaps a step I'm not ready yet to take.

I mean the whole being Fictoromantic isn't the part to worry about when it comes to their reaction, and I think it is possible that I may have been Demiromantic before but I'm not sure...

I mean I'm glad I'm using my gem bracelets for certain multi-purposes, and one of them being to protect me from the toxic-lust energies, which like I pointed out before, I believe the toxic-lust energy that I was being exposed to, was part of the reason I would feel a certain way at times, and not everyone has to believe it.

and I might of brought this up or maybe I haven't, but I had a 3rd close call, even with the dream-catcher outside hanging on my door.

and well the problem has been solved, and the dream-catcher I have in my room now (while the other is outside on the door) is working perfectly so far...

I'm not sure if many went through a type of dream-walking, where they get into a type of trance and only become self-aware before it becomes too late and then understand whats going on.

unlike the other two close calls, the first one where I was only outside the room but understood what was going on and by luck the dream changed, and the second call that happen at some point when I had the dream-catcher (that is outside on my door now.) put away for a while, because of reasons...but at some point, I had that second close call dream, and I had to run, and for some reason I was being protected by two people I think who I can't really remember the face of the old man, and well there was a woman with long white hair and pale skin, but I didn't really see her face either...

but in that 3rd close call dream, which might still be a type of dream-walking but running into a double of someone I know in real life, and that double being made out of toxic-lust energy...

I think I was lucky in the third close call dream as well, but I was clawing at that Thing's eyes, fighting back as best as I could.

and what was when I had a different dream-catcher up, I mean with the dream-catcher on the door, and the prayer I did before, to pray for a type of barrier around the room, and even on the floors, door, windows and ceiling. that thing shouldn't of got through.

which is why I had figured out it was a dream-catcher that had some bad energy on it, which is why we got a new one now...

so I have a new good one for in my room, and still the other dream-catcher on my door outside my room...

and as for the dream-catcher that couldn't stop that disgusting thing from getting through and the third close call made me decide to take it out of the room and put it in those zip bags but throw some of that food salt in it...well I had to pray with the salt in my hands and then put it in the bag that bad dream-catcher is in...

I know not everyone will believe it, but maybe some would if they had experienced a type of nightmare even when you had a dream-catcher that is suppose to keep you safe.

I still think that my seizures that I had before, which started when I was a baby, I think I was a year old or almost a year old...I will have to ask about it again sometime.

I still think they might really be cause by some overwhelming energies, and the reason why I haven't had them since moving to the town we live at now, is because the energy is less dangerous, both the people and the place don't give off a dangerous level of the same type that would cause my seizures...

I mean there can still be people who do need to take the medicine, who while they have seizures, but aren't caused by people or a place that has really bad energy and possibly has some kind of supernatural stuff going on.

there is just some stuff that can't fully be understood, plus even if not everyone has to agree with me but I'm still going to question the Masculine Energy, well the Toxic parts of it.

and even if I do point out about the Domestic Abuse on the Feminine Energy, only some might acknowledge it and some might not.

even if the balance between the energies has gotten a bit better over the centuries, it might still be in a very fragile state.

which the whole thing that some part of the Masculine Energy, well the ones who are are being influenced by the Toxic-Masculine Energy, and end up doing more harm than good.

even though I do like how Charlie's Dad is a Adorkable Apple Goober,

him talking about how violent sinners are, is like saying that some angels and demons aren't the same way...

some humans, aren't the only ones who can cross a line, and some percent of humans are descendants of Nephilim.

there can be different theories in multiple ways how humanity came into being, and well I still believe that humans with other species from other planets, could be considered a part of Omnimanity.

and for all we know, Heaven is very VERY large and is made up of different sectors and ours has been on quarantine for a super long time, which could mean in theory, we can't reincarnate outside this Solar System until that quarantine on our Solar System's Sector of Heaven is over with.

and yeah I can believe that Adam's first wife was Lilith, but I will also believe that there is more to the story.

I believe that Adam, in his younger days before he matured, he was a selfish, self-absorbed, egotistical, immature Peepaw.

who couldn't understand that Lilith needed space, and him treating her like his property, wasn't helping, and those three angels were part of the problem as well.

some times, couples need space, and you can't just force your partner to come back to you when they aren't ready and they might need some time alone.

I know that some of my Ancestors come from different religious beliefs, I know that one of them was a Rabbi, but I forgot his name and how many Greats he is that makes him my Ancestor-Grandfather.

but my believing that Lilith is real, and well there possibly being humans before her, Adam and Eve, comes from a different view that can be seen as both Spiritual and possibly Scientific view.

and well, one of the views I can have is that some percent humans could of been born the same way as Gems, you know like from one of my other favorite shows, that is Steven Universe.

my believing that Lilith is real and how she was treated was wrong, and how she was broken past a very bad breaking point is just one of the messed up things on the list, it doesn't have to do with some parts of my heritage of some of my Ancestors being Jewish, cause once again, my Ancestors had been a part of different religions, which wasn't just Christianity.

and some other people can say the same thing.

I'm still not gonna say who that guy who peeved me off, is...

but by the look at some of the comments he got, half of the people who saw his video and probably watched it all, and didn't stop watching it after hearing the bull slag coming out of that guy's mouth...well, it does seem that some people do disagree with him.

well, if the whole Feminine Revolution of some Earth Angels happens, don't say I didn't tell ya so...

even if it might end up being around a defense...I mean it could be possible, though I'm not sure if other Earth Angels have figured out there is is something bad wrong with some parts of the Masculine Energy, and well yeah there is still that Toxic-Feminine Energy, but it isn't as high or as dangerous as the Toxic-Masculine Energy.

I don't think many Earth Angels who are also Human, will agree about the whole problems with the Patriarchy and there needs to be a peaceful way to fix it....

even if I still want to give Lucifer (of our universe, not talking about Charlie's Dad...) the cold hands to face punishment for doing that Rebellion during a fragile time when The Goddess was wrongly dethroned.

but I know that is not possible, and trying to get through to some Toxic-Religious people like that guy who peeved me off today, as well as the one who had emotionally hurt me a few years ago...

is easier said than done, and if that guy is like that person from a few years ago...it is possible he wont listen to reason either.

shows with different points of view and some being of a ficto-religion, wouldn't be a bad thing, even if the said ficto-religion in a show or video game or book series, can have some elements from different real life religions but at the same time have a slight different stories to it, being a bit of alternate version of it.

plus humans even the earth angel ones, shouldn't feel that they have to be 100% perfect, I mean ya can be perfect in your own way, but no one can be truly 100% perfect, but be perfect in your own way.

I know I might never work 100% the same as Other Earth Angels, and one of the reasons being that I know I'm a Defective, and it could of been when my Soul was born, or too much trauma from past lives.

and yeah I wouldn't surprised if that guy, is one of those who will think that all descendants of Cain are automatically evil.

I'm a descendant of both Cain and Seth, which I'm still gonna view that meaning they are both my Grunkle-Grandpas, even if they are half-brothers who's distant descendants ended up meeting and marrying each other...

well, hopefully that guy doesn't bring that up in any of his videos, but if he has already then well, I guess that would be a surprise...

and not everything has to do with some kind of conspiracy with Satan, even if it is true that the whole "Satan" was originally a title for certain Angels....which I forgot most of what it was about and have to try to look it up again some time...

even if there can be some people you can reason with, when it comes to the possibility of them being Toxic-Religious or being a different type of toxic...but can be able to work on their toxic and be less so.

but some might not listen to reason, and I'm not sure if that guy would listen to reason.

I also want to say, that the whole horns, wings and tail that Charlie's Dad has in one of the episodes of Hazbin Hotel in Season 1.

reminds me of what I had talked about before, which was way before Season 1's episodes finally came out.

that I apparently have ethereal wings, a type of lion tail and deer like antlers...and how I get really mad or upset my ethereal wings go into flame mode and my wings will hug around me if I feel a certain way.

even if I can't see them, but still, maybe I'm not meant to see them.

but yeah, it is a interesting coincidence, same thing when seeing Ozzie from Helluva Boss go into Flame Mode when he gets really mad, is a funny coincidence as well.

I think when I did go into flame mode when I was a little kid, my body wasn't able to handle it and I would get too hot and would need cool air right away...

I can't really handle when it's too hot or too cold, I mean despite what some could view about some people with RH Negative blood, not everyone will be the same even those with a slight same blood type.

I was my Mom's weird little surprise, but even when she was still pregnant with me, I was still her weird little surprise.

I don't know how many people who had a newborn come out looking like a 2 week old, and well maybe it is only a few that go through that.

I can't help that I was a big newborn, it could have to do with my being RH Negative or maybe it doesn't...

also I'm glad I decided not to watch the full video by that guy who would end up not really watching the full episode of Hazbin Hotel, and learn that Charlie is trying to save sinners.

for all I know, if I did decide to watch the full video, that guy would probably end up peeving me off even more, even if I did try to skip ahead a bit in the video but it still didn't look good even seeing the bad mouthing and toxic-religious elements.

it might be for the best that I don't try to watch that full video right now, because it is possible I would get really mad at that guy even more than how he was getting me when I was only watching a little of it.

if I decide to, I might try to watch it again but if I decide not to, then that is my choice...

I think shows with some form of magic and sci-fi is awesome, plus it is good to have a type of escape through works of fiction, when there is some stuff that can make you feel a little down...

and well thanks to something I wrote before that I got some bad feelings out in a way of a song type poem, I think I'm remembering that the second depression I had, may have happen around 2016...

so that was a bit too close to the first one that happen in 2015, and lasted only a few months during that time...

some time, maybe later today, I can talk about it and how I can still be the weird me but it's just gonna be bittersweet at times and I might not reply to some messages right away, and I might close myself off at times, even if it might not seem like that.

I don't think it would be the first time I closed myself off after being emotionally hurt, it could be possible I did that when I was a little kid, I mean I think that might of happen, I know that when I was little, I did at some point start to keep to myself...

I think I still do keep to myself, and there is nothing wrong with it.

but some might misinterpret and I hope some don't misinterpret.

but it's like ya can't force a introvert to go out to some places, I mean I think I am a Introvert and there can be different types of Introvert, where they could be okay going out sometimes.

and yeah, I hope some can understand why I want to keep to myself most of the time, and how I don't fully trust Male-Angels now...

like there can be some I could trust, but I will need to keep my guard up.

and yeah with how the Toxic-Masculine is right now and some lines that it has crossed, one of them being the Covid-19.

isn't really helping with my trust issues with some percent of Masculine Aligned Angels.

I'm still going to view that some percent of the Masculine Aligned Angels, have some sick and twisted form of justice, even ones where they will just end up proving I can't fully trust all of them...

and even if there are still some good type of guys in this world, some of them will still be reasons why I have Semi-Androphobia.

which of course has to do with a Fear of Men, but with the "Semi" it is suppose to be not so bad, and I believe that along with another certain reason, is why I had that panic attack in 2015.

I also want to say that I love Sailor Moon, and well when I'm able to, I will try to find the time either today or tomorrow to try to watch more episodes, it shows some form of hope and love in some of the elements of the show, but it might just be me that views it like that or maybe some might also agree about that...

and even if Sailor Moon herself is suppose to be with Tuxedo Mask, I still wouldn't mind Crossover shipping her with someone else.

the show has Reincarnation, and how a Princess from a Fallen Kingdom ends up being reborn with others from her fallen kingdom into the modern times, is a interesting story.

and well if my theory is correct, only half of the Earthly Queendom had fallen, and what had fallen had to be placed under quarantine that would later become "Heck"...

it could be possible there were Princesses who ruled each of the parts of the Earthly Queendom or whatever else it was called, before it had fallen and had to be placed under quarantine and was taken over by the Seven Deadly Sins, but not everyone has to agree about that.

if I had some kind of Gem that was like the Silver Crystal from Sailor Moon, I would use it to make a protective around the Earth to stop anymore Toxic-Masculine Energy getting through and only allow the good masculine and feminine energies through, to help protect and heal the earth.

I don't know if any other Earth Angels would get mad at that guy, who I'm still not gonna say the name of.

but for all I know, it could be possible half of them will be on that guy's side....I don't know how many other Earth Angels would even be "Earth Angel Princesses" and yeah I'm weird enough to have that pop into my head after figuring out I'm technically a Earth Angel Princess.

of course it might not even matter to some Toxic-Religious people, who might still crossing a line.

I hope that today will still be good, even with the whole finding that video by some Toxic-Religious Guy, it might be best I don't say the name of the video right now...and it really might of been a good thing I didn't watch the whole video.

anyway I'm going to go and check my last few posts I did a few days ago, and try to find the mistakes I made and try to edit it as best as I can, and well I wanted to talk a bit more about Sailor Moon in this, but maybe next time....at least I got to bring up the whole Charlie's Dad from Hazbin Hotel, is a Adorkable Apple Goober.

that is one of the positive things that I talked about in this, the negative sides has to do with toxic-religious people, and hopefully that guy that I found out about will no longer be toxic-religious in the future and actually watch the full episode of the show they are being a jerk about, cause...

"Every Demon Has Rainbow, Just As Every Angel Has Rain-Cloud."

well the whole "Every Demon Has A Rainbow." is from Hazbin Hotel's Pilot, and the whole "Every Angel Has A Rain-Cloud" is possibly inspired from the whole sad stuff that I and others end up going through a times....

I think I will try to work on what I need to edit in those posts from a few days ago, maybe in a little while...also this wasn't suppose to be so long, but I ended up making it a bit more longer...

anyway I hope some can understand why some people might get mad and become a bit sensitive with some toxic-religious people, and some of the sensitivity can have to do with trauma caused by some toxic-religious people who end up hurting some who are religious or not religious at all, and well anyway, I'm going to lay down for a little bit, maybe for a hour or so and then I will get to work on fixing my posts from a few days ago and then I will post up a drawing and some other post that will talk about some Magic Spells...

anyway if some have had some trauma caused by a Toxic-Religious jerk, I hope you stay safe from people like that and remember that not every religious person is like that, and hope more people can be healed in some way from that really bad toxic-religious energy.

and when I'm able to, I might talk more about Sailor Moon.

but for right now, I just need to slay down for a few, just maybe for a hour or so.

and I love Hazbin Hotel, and it can be possible that some Toxic-Religious people could misunderstand and not understand the whole Hotel in the show, is suppose to be a place to redeem sinners and let them become angels and go to heaven.

anyway I'm just gonna go lay in bed for a hour or so, and try to relax and not think about that video or that Toxic-Religious Guy.

also maybe when I'm able to, I can talk more about the whole dream-catcher thing, I'm not sure if others have experienced the same thing but if some have, there could be ways to fix a dream-catcher that gives off bad energy and let's some bad energies through while you sleep. because dream-catchers are normally suppose to protect you, and if one doesn't and you have a nightmare while it's up, then something it possibly wrong with the dream-catcher, and you could put it in a bag and hold some food salt and pray and throw the salt into the bag that has that dream-catcher in it.....

anyway I'm just gonna just go and lay down now, but I will stay log-in and then once I feel a bit more relaxed and well if I do end up falling asleep, I will work on fixing those posts and then post some drawings up.

and well even if there is some toxic-people in this world, at least there are good people... and it can be the toxic-people that could possibly get on your bad side the most, even those who aren't toxic only getting on your bad side only once in a while...

#do not reblog without permission #mature audiences only #toxic people #good people #my thoughts #talking about feelings #hazbin hotel #sailor moon #i love that show #february 2024

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spacecadetspe · 3 months

Text

A year ago today…

Jan. 16, 2023

Having read some of the top listings on Lj today, I realize wholeheartedly that the account of my daily life may seem fantastical... or perhaps just unhinged. The primary reason I keep this alternate reality confined to this journal is so that I can live a normal life on Earth. I have responsibilities to which I must regularly attend, and I can't afford to let it interfere with my daily life.

I suppose I should institute some "rules" or something, to keep things clear, since it's plausible that whoever is reading this will be justifiably confused.

Nearly anything is possible. If it can happen, it probably will at some point. How I react to the goings on is how I measure my personal growth.

I say "nearly anything" because logically there are just some things that wouldn't be necessary, appropriate, or may even be detrimental to the beings that exist in that space, including myself. (Could there be a castle made of candy, guarded by marshmallow unicorns? Certainly. But... why? Who does that benefit?)

As Virtue of Hope and Chief Lady of Dreams, I can do a lot of things that my peers cannot. I can regrow limbs and heal scars (mine or anyone else's). I can split myself into projections or excise different aspects of myself. I have 300 wings, where most Virtues start out with ten.

None of this applies to my life in the Mortal coil. My mortal life is really rather mundane. I'm a divorced mom living in a comfy apartment, have equal custody of my son, and hold a raging grudge against my ex-husband (which I try not to project onto my child).

My therapy affects both sides of my existence. Because therapy does that. It changes who you are at a basic level, and so my actions and reactions reflect that on both sides.

Many of the entities I encounter in the Dream World exist on the mortal coil, as well. I have attempted to make distinctions between their roles in this life and the one on the other side of the Veil.

Now that that's cleared up, maybe I'll sound less like a crazy person when I talk about my walks on the other side.

And speaking of, by last few such walks haven't been pleasant. My evening routine in the Mortal realm has consisted of drawing a sacred circle on my chest every night to keep X away, much like the uses of Solomon's demonic sigils. And, two nights ago, I forgot to apply it. I really should know by now that those little spells aren't permanent. I got too complacent. I'm not sure why, since I'm well aware that X will try to subdue me by any psychic means necessary. Perhaps I'm just tired. I yearn for a sense of "normalcy," whatever that means. I suppose I shouldn't be so disillusioned.

As far as I'm concerned, I think placing wards like this every night serves to beautifully illustrate the idea that I am, in fact, unhinged. Drawing sigils and swearing up and down that some entity somewhere, nay, my ex-husband, is out to get me? It just screams paranoid delusion.

Which is one more reason that X might continue such attacks, I suppose; just to undermine me further in a society that doesn't tend to believe in the stuff I see.

Don't get me wrong, dear reader; I'm exhausted with this. I would love nothing more than to let down my guard and just... be. No more sigils, no more spells... no more journals where I write myself in as the victim. But waking up in the manner that I do... it's more than enough to make me a believer.

I dreamed that he cut off my left arm above the elbow. I could probably play it off like I fell asleep on my arm and cut off my circulation, but it wouldn't do justice to the pain. I woke up, of course, and tried to shake it off, but the ache shot down all the way to the joints of my fingers. It was so severe that the following day, I couldn't play the piano. This is in the mortal world, mind you. So the fact that it was affecting my physical body is a serious matter.

He cut off my arm... butchered every joint... so that when I stitched it back together, I can feel the seams holding my flesh in place. Even now, I'm having some difficulty typing.

Nothing on earth could describe how much I want to just... stop. But until X is finally broken, I'll have to settle for looking a little crazy.

Jan. 16, 2024

I’ve tried to get back into doing the rounds again. Morpheus and other oneiroi have approached me to try to keep me calm, but after my come-to-Jesus with Fortitude, I’m feeling a little fragile.

Two nights in a row now, any attempt to ease my frustrations has been thwarted. Night before last, Morpheus was called away just as he was about to crawl into bed with me. And last night I came away from one of my rounds shaking and anxious, feeling my chakras broken, and one of them came up behind me and held me for awhile. I turned around and he kissed me (keep in mind I’m not sure who this is) and I felt myself relax. But it didn’t go further than that. He escorted me to a bedroom somewhere, but I was awoken by a phone call.

The timing always seems to be just slightly off. I’m not to the point where I can be angry about it, but I feel it approaching.

Today is a rare snow day for my state, so Fortitude and I are staying in, for now. I’ll go get W later today, if the roads are clear.

Métis wants to have a “girls’ day” at her apartment in the dream world, which sounds pleasant. I might join her later.

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