#i've got 80 books i want to read but i will never get to them at this rate

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Too big to care

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in BOSTON with Randall "XKCD" Munroe (Apr 11), then PROVIDENCE (Apr 12), and beyond!

Remember the first time you used Google search? It was like magic. After years of progressively worsening search quality from Altavista and Yahoo, Google was literally stunning, a gateway to the very best things on the internet.

Today, Google has a 90% search market-share. They got it the hard way: they cheated. Google spends tens of billions of dollars on payola in order to ensure that they are the default search engine behind every search box you encounter on every device, every service and every website:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/03/not-feeling-lucky/#fundamental-laws-of-economics

Not coincidentally, Google's search is getting progressively, monotonically worse. It is a cesspool of botshit, spam, scams, and nonsense. Important resources that I never bothered to bookmark because I could find them with a quick Google search no longer show up in the first ten screens of results:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/21/im-feeling-unlucky/#not-up-to-the-task

Even after all that payola, Google is still absurdly profitable. They have so much money, they were able to do a $80 billion stock buyback. Just a few months later, Google fired 12,000 skilled technical workers. Essentially, Google is saying that they don't need to spend money on quality, because we're all locked into using Google search. It's cheaper to buy the default search box everywhere in the world than it is to make a product that is so good that even if we tried another search engine, we'd still prefer Google.

This is enshittification. Google is shifting value away from end users (searchers) and business customers (advertisers, publishers and merchants) to itself:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/05/the-map-is-not-the-territory/#apor-locksmith

And here's the thing: there are search engines out there that are so good that if you just try them, you'll get that same feeling you got the first time you tried Google.

When I was in Tucson last month on my book-tour for my new novel The Bezzle, I crashed with my pals Patrick and Teresa Nielsen Hayden. I've know them since I was a teenager (Patrick is my editor).

We were sitting in his living room on our laptops – just like old times! – and Patrick asked me if I'd tried Kagi, a new search-engine.

Teresa chimed in, extolling the advanced search features, the "lenses" that surfaced specific kinds of resources on the web.

I hadn't even heard of Kagi, but the Nielsen Haydens are among the most effective researchers I know – both in their professional editorial lives and in their many obsessive hobbies. If it was good enough for them…

I tried it. It was magic.

No, seriously. All those things Google couldn't find anymore? Top of the search pile. Queries that generated pages of spam in Google results? Fucking pristine on Kagi – the right answers, over and over again.

That was before I started playing with Kagi's lenses and other bells and whistles, which elevated the search experience from "magic" to sorcerous.

The catch is that Kagi costs money – after 100 queries, they want you to cough up $10/month ($14 for a couple or $20 for a family with up to six accounts, and some kid-specific features):

https://kagi.com/settings?p=billing_plan&plan=family

I immediately bought a family plan. I've been using it for a month. I've basically stopped using Google search altogether.

Kagi just let me get a lot more done, and I assumed that they were some kind of wildly capitalized startup that was running their own crawl and and their own data-centers. But this morning, I read Jason Koebler's 404 Media report on his own experiences using it:

https://www.404media.co/friendship-ended-with-google-now-kagi-is-my-best-friend/

Koebler's piece contained a key detail that I'd somehow missed:

When you search on Kagi, the service makes a series of “anonymized API calls to traditional search indexes like Google, Yandex, Mojeek, and Brave,” as well as a handful of other specialized search engines, Wikimedia Commons, Flickr, etc. Kagi then combines this with its own web index and news index (for news searches) to build the results pages that you see. So, essentially, you are getting some mix of Google search results combined with results from other indexes.

In other words: Kagi is a heavily customized, anonymized front-end to Google.

The implications of this are stunning. It means that Google's enshittified search-results are a choice. Those ad-strewn, sub-Altavista, spam-drowned search pages are a feature, not a bug. Google prefers those results to Kagi, because Google makes more money out of shit than they would out of delivering a good product:

https://www.theverge.com/2024/4/2/24117976/best-printer-2024-home-use-office-use-labels-school-homework

No wonder Google spends a whole-ass Twitter every year to make sure you never try a rival search engine. Bottom line: they ran the numbers and figured out their most profitable course of action is to enshittify their flagship product and bribe their "competitors" like Apple and Samsung so that you never try another search engine and have another one of those magic moments that sent all those Jeeves-askin' Yahooers to Google a quarter-century ago.

One of my favorite TV comedy bits is Lily Tomlin as Ernestine the AT&T operator; Tomlin would do these pitches for the Bell System and end every ad with "We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company":

https://snltranscripts.jt.org/76/76aphonecompany.phtml

Speaking of TV comedy: this week saw FTC chair Lina Khan appear on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. It was amazing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaDTiWaYfcM

The coverage of Khan's appearance has focused on Stewart's revelation that when he was doing a show on Apple TV, the company prohibited him from interviewing her (presumably because of her hostility to tech monopolies):

https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/apple-got-caught-censoring-its-own

But for me, the big moment came when Khan described tech monopolists as "too big to care."

What a phrase!

Since the subprime crisis, we're all familiar with businesses being "too big to fail" and "too big to jail." But "too big to care?" Oof, that got me right in the feels.

Because that's what it feels like to use enshittified Google. That's what it feels like to discover that Kagi – the good search engine – is mostly Google with the weights adjusted to serve users, not shareholders.

Google used to care. They cared because they were worried about competitors and regulators. They cared because their workers made them care:

https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2019/4/4/18295933/google-cancels-ai-ethics-board

Google doesn't care anymore. They don't have to. They're the search company.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/04/teach-me-how-to-shruggie/#kagi

#pluralistic #john stewart #the daily show #apple #monopoly #lina khan #ftc #too big to fail #too big to jail #monopolism #trustbusting #antitrust #search #enshittification #kagi #google

[pippin-katz]

I need a cast audiobook of RWRB. If no one else, then at least Taylor and Nick reading Alex and Henry. I need it in my life.

And in ACD fashion, here’s a few lists of lines/conversations from the book that I am desperate to hear them say. I want to hear them read all of the lines, but these are the ones that pop out to me!

Post Writing Note: These turned out to be way longer than I thought they were going to be 😭😂

Alex Lines:

Oh yeah, that was a wild night. Two whole keynote speakers. Nothing sexier than shrimp cocktails and an hour and a half of speeches on carbon emissions. - page 5

'Archnemesis' implies he's actually a rival to me on any level and not, you know, a stuck-up product of inbreeding who probably jerks off to photos of himself. - page 7

Jesus Christ, it’s like they can see into your soul. Cornbread knows my sins, Henry. Cornbread knows what I have done, and he is here to make me atone. - page 77

I always thought you’d kill me in a more personal way. Silk pillow over my face, slow and gentle suffocation. Just you and me. Sensual. - page 80

Shut up, shut all the way up, oh my God. - page 131

For fuck's sake, man, you just had my dick in your mouth, you can kiss me good-night. - page 145

What in the rich-white-people-sex-dungeon hell? - page 149

Bisexuality is truly a rich and complex tapestry. - page 194

Listen: I'll fly to London right now and pull you out of whatever pointless meeting you're in and make you admit how much you love it when I call you "baby". I'll take you apart with my teeth, sweetheart. - page 204

You don't get to sit up here and pretend like it's someone else's problem. None of us do. - page 209

i want to see a cage match between your grandmother and this fucking ghoul running against my mom. - page 221

I do think I got a gut feeling with you, I just didn't have what I needed in my head to understand it. But I kind of kept chasing it anyway, like I was just going blindly in a certain direction and hoping for the best. I guess that makes you the North Star? - page 244

Henry! Your Royal fucking Highness! - page 269

Really nice. Fuckin' ghost me for a week, make me stand in the rain like a brown John Cusack, and now you won't even talk to me. I'm really just having a great time here. I can see why y'all had to marry your fucking cousins. - page 270

I fucking love you, okay? Fuck, I swear. You don't make it fucking easy. But I'm in love with you. - page 271

I'll leave, as soon as you tell me to leave. - page 275

Okay, I'm into making history. - page 280

I completely fucking love you. - page 291

I'm there for whatever you decide you want to do, just, like, let me know if I need to start practicing gazing wistfully out the window, waiting for my love to return from the war. - page 296

AN INCOMPLETE LIST: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HRH PRINCE HENRY OF WALES Note: just the entire list, I need it, but I'll point out some of the best ones anyway lol

9. How hard you try. 10. How hard you've always tried. 11. How determined you are to keep trying. - page 303

16. Your huge, generous, ridiculous, indestructible heart. 17. Your equally huge dick. 18. The face you just made when you read that last one. - page 303

20. The fact that you loved me all along. - page 303

God, I want to fight everyone who's ever hurt you, but it was me too, wasn't it? All that time. I'm so sorry. - page 303

Listen, I'm telling you right now, I will physically fight your grandmother myself if I have to, okay? And, like, she's old. I know I can take her. - page 312

You and me and history, remember? We're just gonna fucking fight. Because you're it, okay? I'm never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you. - page 312

Sería una mentira, porque no sería él. (It would be a lie, because it wouldn't be him.) - page 317

but i've kissed your mouth, that corner, that place it goes, so many times now. i've memorized it. topography on the map of you, a world i'm still charting. i know it. i added it to the key. here: inches to miles. i can multiply it out, read your latitude and longitude. recite your coordinates like la rosaria. - page 319

give yourself away sometimes, sweetheart. there's so much of you. - page 320

Zahra, you're my mean friend. - page 339

I've never... I haven't been through anything like that. But I've always felt it, in him. There's this side of him that's... unknowable. But the thing is, jumping off cliffs is kinda my thing. That's the choice. I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose. - page 344

For what it's worth, that is the bravest son of a bitch I've ever met. - page 347

My life is a cosmic joke and you're not a real person. - page 371

You are, the absolute worst idea I've ever had. - page 372

FIRST SON ALEXANDER CLAREMONT-DIAZ'S ADDRESS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE, OCTOBER 2, 2020 - pages 372-375 Note: just, the entire speech, the whole thing

America: He is my choice. - page 374

Henry Lines:

Hmm, I always liked Luke. He's brave and good, and he's the strongest Jedi of them all. I think Luke is proof that it doesn't matter where you come from or who your family is--you can always be great if you're true to yourself. - page 45

The turkeys are not going to Jurassic Park you. You’re not the bloke from Seinfeld. You’re Jeff Goldblum. Go to sleep. - page 82

You are the thistle in the tender and sensitive arse crack of my life. - page 73

fucking eyelashes - page 142

I shall just have to make it the best orgasm of your life. What can I do to make it good for you? Talk about American tax reform during the act? Have you got talking points? - page 196

How is a man to get anything done knowing Alex Claremont-Diaz is out there on the loose? - pages 202-203

They wanted something less fruity than the truth, but truly, what is gayer than a woman who languishes away in a crumbling mansion wearing her wedding gown every day of her life, for the drama? - page 205

Someone else's choice doesn't change who you are. - page 229

Most things are awful most of the time, but you're good. - page 230

The phrase "see attached bibliography" is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me. - page 241

Should I tell you that when we're apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I've been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all? - page 242 Note: based on the parts of this we did get to hear Nick say in the film, I think this would kill half the fandom lol

When have I ever, since the first instant I touched you, pretended to be anything less than in love with you? - page 272

I never thought I'd be stood here faced with a choice I can't make, because I never... I never imagined you would love me back. - page 273

The Mail will write mad speculations about where I've gone, if I've offed myself or vanished to St. Kilda, but only you and I will know that I'm just sprawled in your bed, reading books and feeding myself profiteroles and making love to you endlessly until we both expire in a haze of chocolate sauce. It's how I'd want to go. - page 294

Here lies Prince Henry of Wales. He died as he lived: avoiding plans and sucking cock. - page 298

"Because I'm not like the rest of the men of this family, beginning with the fact that I am very deeply gay, Philip." - page 298

But the first time I saw you. Rio. I took that down to the gardens. I pressed it into the leaves of a silver maple and recited it to the Waterloo Vase. It didn't fit in any rooms. - page 300

I thought, this is the most incredible thing I have ever seen, and I had better keep it a safe distance away from me. I though, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire. - page 300

And then, inexplicably, you had the absolute audacity to love me back. - page 300 Note: I really wanted to just type out most of the page, but I restrained myself lmfao

I don't know if I would have chosen it yet, but it's out there now, and... I won't lie. Not about this. Not about you. - page 338

Bit short for a stormtrooper. - page 340

I've bloody well had it. I've sat about long enough letting you and Gran and the weight of the damned world keep me pinned, and I'm finished. I don't care. You can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse, Philip. I'm done. - page 347

I've been as gay as a maypole since the day I came out of Mum, Philip. - page 353 Note: there's never too many times to hear the words "gay as a maypole" and the emotional infliction here is lot different lol

Both:

Am I offending you? Sorry I'm not obsessed with you like everyone else. I know that must be confusing for you. Do you know what? I think you are. Only a thought. Have you ever noticed I have never once approached you and have been exhaustingly civil every time we've spoken? Yet here you are, seeking me out again. Simply an observation. - page 18

This is idiotic. Let's get it over with. I'd rather be waterboarded. Your country could probably arrange that. Go fuck yourself. Hardly enough time. - pages 36-37 Note: yes, I know Nick read this part in his book-to-screen video thingy but it's not the same as having them both saying the lines fully in character.

What does Jedi have? Fuckin' Ewoks. Ewoks are iconic. Ewoks are stupid. - page 52

yo there's a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe I BEG YOU TO NOT - page 84

I'm going to die. I'm going to kill you. Yes, you are. - page 133

You were jealous. You want me. Yes, you preening arse, I've wanted you long enough that I won't have you tease me for another fucking second. - page 137

Hi. Hello. I'm gonna take your pants off now. Yes, good, carry on. - page 141

Ugh, you look ridiculous. Should I-- What? No, of course not, keep them on. Oh my God, what are you doing? I can't even look at you. No, Jesus, I just mean--I'm so mad at you. Just, come here. Fuck. I'm quite confused. Me fucking too. - page 150

I'm not... historically great at talking about things. Well, I wasn't historically great at blowjobs, but we all gotta learn and grow, sweetheart. - page 165

Bitch, you took me there. alskdjfadslfjad NORA YOU BROKE HIM - page 212

D'you know what I want? What? I want, to do the absolute last thing I'm supposed to be doing right now. Then tell me to do it, sweetheart. Fuck me. Well, when at Wimbledon. Just so we're clear, I'm about to have sex with you in this storage closet to spite your family. Like, that's what's happening? Right. Awesome, fucking' love doing things out of spite. - page 217 Note: I think this conversation could singlehandedly kill the fandom if we got to hear Taylor and Nick deliver these lines

Can't you ever just do one thing without having to be so goddamn extra about it? That is bloody rich coming from you. - pages 260-261

What do you want? I want you- Then fucking have me. -but I don't want this. - page 273

You seem... less pissy. You're one to talk. I wasn't the one who stormed the palace in a fit to call me an 'obtuse fucking asshole'. In my defense, you were an obtuse fucking asshole. - page 277

I honestly have never thought I deserved to choose. But you treat me like I do. You do. I think I'm actually starting to believe that. - page 279

What about you? What about me? Christ, Alex. The whole bloody time. The whole time? Since the Olympics. The Olympics? But that's, that's like- Yes, Alex, the day we met, nothing gets past you, does it? 'What about you,' he says, as if he doesn't know- Shut your mouth. - page 283-284

Hello, what was that for? I just, like, really love you. - page 286

What are you doing? I'm taking a picture of a national gay landmark. And also a statue. It's funny. I always thought of the whole things as the most unforgivable thing about me, but you act like it's one of the best. Oh, yeah. The top list of reason to love you goes brain, then dick, then imminent status as a revolutionary gay icon. You are quite literally Queen Victoria's worst nightmare. And that's why you love me. My god, you're right. All this time, I was just after the bloke who'd most infuriate my homophobic forebears. Ah, and we can't forget they were also racist. Certainly not. Next time we shall visit some of the George III pieces and see if they burst into flame. - page 289

If Alex from this time last year could see this. He'd say, 'Oh I'm in love with Henry? That must be why I'm such an arse to him all the time'. - page 387

#red white and royal blue #rwrb #rwrb movie #rwrb book #alex claremont diaz #taylor zakhar perez #henry fox mountchristen windsor #henry hanover stuart fox #nicholas galitzine #firstprince #history huh #bet we could make some

[killerpillar]

any book recs? looking for something to hold me over inbetween your updates! anything you’ve found yourself pulling inspo from for your fic or that you think a fellow levi fan would love?

hi!!! ofc, i've got plently of fic recs, i'm pretty sure i've read 80% of all levi fics on ao3 atp😭 I sadly have not had the time to read as many fics nowadays like I used to, but here are some of my all time favs!!

(also i apologise, my summary skills are terrible and so it's just me gushing over the fics for a whole paragraph🧎‍♀️)

Death's Door by SongsOfApollo

one of the first fics I read, and a fic that has literally never left my brain since then. It's amazing. It's very popular so I'm sure you've heard about it already if not read it, but if you haven't, it's a must read!! levi x doctor reader!

Dust, Diamonds by maokitty

the best way i can describe this fic is that it drove an iron stake through my heart multiple times, pulled it out, then delicately rearranged the pieces and stitched it back together with gentle fingers. take it how you will but after a certain chapter i stopped reading it bc it was too painful, and then came back two months later to finish it off AND I AM SO GLAD I DID.

A River Of Three Crossings by maokitty

this fic literally ruined my life it was so fucking good but its incomplete and hasn't been updated since 2020 i am SO SAD. but please read this, it's so good, so heart crushing and sweet and amazing I love it sm

ALSO I JUST FUCKING REALISED ITS THE SAME AUTHOUR WHILE WRITING THIS LIST😭

reciprocal sin by captain-hawks (@captain-hawks)

SO UNDERRATED!??! must read, i cannot say anything else but READ THISSS. its a kinky smutty oneshot so make sure you read the content warnings, but its sooo good😭 amazing writing too!

silver soul by oi_levi

sadly this one is incomplete and hasn't been updated since 2021, but it's brilliantttt. if you're craving some good post-war levi fics, then this one's really good!!

also read In the Land of Gods and Monsters by them for a fun time😊

a sip of sunshine by taomyou (@taomyou)

speaking of post-war fics, this one is amazinggg. super cute and fluffy, angsty ending for part 1 (😭) but I know for sure their next part will be worth the wait. also they've got a complete modern au fic called The Romance Of Reimbursements which is so fucking beautiful, definitely read this!!! (also mchs, acoc... yeah just read all of them tbh)

silver underground. by tothestrongones (@amywritesthings)

this one's a recent read, but omfg i cannottt get enough of it. absolutely love this, it's levi x underground reader, amnesia trope done right. 10/10 must read!!!

we all bleed red by littlerequiem (@littlerequiem)

also a recent read, but omfg this fic is so good. it's vampire au, victorian era, slowburn brilliant writing, and healthy communication!?!? no way. checks all the boxes for me😫

Percolate by heichoe

modern coffee shop au, its so good omfg. it's such a cute fic, classic grumpy levi, friends w benefits, lots of smut and the DRAMA gosh. i was so invested, it was so good. (also ur gonna need an account on ao3 to read the fic!!)

this is a story of the sea by shinzouing

this one is levi x erwin x reader (i read it for the levi x reader bc erwin was gonna die anyways lmao) but i fell in loveeee with it!! wonderful writing, amazing story, 10/10 angst & slowburn, a definite must read! (also 20/10 smut, it was so fucking good)

(also literally every fic by wellitcouldbeworse3 on ao3 is amazinggg, check them out if you haven't already. which i'm sure you have, and that is the only reason i haven't listed out all of their fics here😭 The Feeling's Mutual is my fav modern au fic of all time no questions asked)

THIS IS A JUST A FEW!!! if you want more, then feel free to ask, i will gladly rec more <33 and ty for reading my fic btw!! LOVE U LOADS🤗

#fic recs #asks #levi x reader #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan

[aziraphales-library]

Heya!

I've read a LOT of GO fics in my time, but I can't remember if I've seen crossovers/AUs of the following movies with Aziraphale/Crowley, can you help please?

So my favourite rom coms of all time are the following, and I'd love GO versions (if they don't exist I may have to write them)!

French Kiss (Meg Ryan and Kevin Kline)

You've Got Mail (Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks)

When Harry Met Sally (Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal)

Runaway Bride (Julia Roberts and Richard Gere)

Never Been Kissed (Drew Barrymore)

I won't bother asking about Pretty Woman because I've read so many versions with either of them in either role lmaooo (and I have loved Every. Single. One.)

Or basically any late 80s/early 90s rom coms with Meg Ryan (except Sleepless in Seattle because I find it incredibly boring) or Julia Roberts!

Thank you so much for everything you do! You've helped me discover so many amazing fics and writers and it is much appreciated!!! 💖💖😇😎

Hello there!

Did you know there is a whole collection from the Good Omens Rom-Com Event that was run a couple years ago? You might find what you're looking for there! (Some of the fics are unfinished so keep that in mind)

We have previously recommended a bunch of You've Got Mail/She Loves Me fics HERE, so check those out.

As for the other ones you've asked about:

French Kiss AU:

A Bit of Crumpet by Fyre [E]

With a handsome, successful fiance and a respectable home in Manhattan, Aziraphale Fell thought his life was more than adequate. He never expected to be jilted in a long-distance telephone call and so he sets out for England to find out exactly what's going on and gets a lot more than he bargained for.

When Harry Met Sally AU:

it had to be you by curtaincall [M]

“What I’m saying,” said Aziraphale, looking fixedly ahead, “and please don’t take this as a personal insult in any way, is that an angel and a demon can’t be friends.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” said Aziraphale, firmly. “It’s against the order of things. You’re supposed to tempt. I’m supposed to thwart. We can’t go being friends.”

*

A canon-divergent AU inspired by When Harry Met Sally.

I don't know of any fics with your two last wishes but there is also:

Notting Hill AU:

Soho by Lurlur [E]

Aziraphale lives a quiet kind of life, running a quiet specialist bookshop in one of the liveliest districts of London. He's content with his lot, happy with his friends, tolerant of his probably-human housemate, living vicariously through the gossip pages.

One day, a chance encounter with Anthony Crowley, lead singer of wildly successful rock band The Demons, threatens to turn his whole world upside down.

Music and Lyrics AU:

pop! goes my heart by attheborder [E], WIP

When has-been musician Anthony Crowley is recruited by pop singer Anathema Device to write a song for her new record, he jumps on the chance to resuscitate his career with a hit. There's only one problem: he can't write lyrics to save his life.

But a chance meeting with a stranger by the name of Aziraphale, with a poetic streak that's a perfect fit for the song, changes everything for Crowley. Together, they'll create something beautiful, fight the forces of the music industry, and perhaps even find a way back into love...

A Music and Lyrics AU for the GO Rom Com Event, complete with all-new original songs written and recorded by the author!

Kate & Leopold AU:

Until by Nadzieja [T]

“I don’t want to go home.” Half-asleep Aziraphale murmurs into his ear and Crowley's heart clenches. His grip tightens reflexively around the warm soft body in his arms, around the smell of old books and sandalwood.

“Then don’t.” He’s trying not to sound like he's pleading, but his throat is tight and his voice hoarse.

*

Crowley lives his average life, working in a high-end advertising company at London that pays just enough to get him a room in a shared accommodation. That's just his luck that he ends up living with a literal witch. One day she brings home an even more eccentric man that has a taste for 19th century fashion, as if Crowley didn't have enough things to worry about. Little he knows that the man will turn his world upside down. Literally. And that's just the beginning of his problems.

~Mod N

#good omens #ineffable husbands #rom com #human au #canon divergent au #adult omens #mod n

[magpod-confessions]

@ doorkeay-disliker anon

You do know that most doorkeay shippers were shipping it before knowing anything about the age gap? And that these are two consenting adults in at least their 30s? And that after that information showed up, Jonny came out saying he fucked up the timeline like an idiot? That he fucked it up many times? Nobody in that group of people wants that age gap, and shipped them before knowing of said age gap. The general timeline of TMA has so many mistakes, and so many Michaels. The Michael that worked with Eric could've been a different one, or he could know about Michael because Mary told him after binding him to the book to make him feel bad.

If you don't like. A ship, that's fucking fine. It's not your thing. Nobody's telling you that you have you like it. But you need to get over yourself with this whole righteous bullshit. If you actually read what people write for doorkeay, you'd notice they're always making them healthily consenting adults.

Moreso. I've never seen a doorkeay shipper harass anyone, or cause any fights. But people who claim "doorkeay has a problematic age gap!" even led harassment campaigns and told artists and writers to off themselves repeatedly for weeks on end for shipping it, when said artists and writers made it explicitly clear that they had always seen the ship as being about 2 to 3 years different maximum.

I hate when people come after ships between fucking grown adults. Why are you so fucking obsessed with it?

Care when they're shipping a minor with an adult.

Gerard Keay is not a child, he's in his 30s, and before we got his birthyear from Protocol, he could've been born anywhere in the 80s. Including 1980. No matter how much you whine, he's in his 30s. That's an adult worldwide as far as I'm aware in this dimension, bucko.

If we didn't get the exact year, he could've even been 43 at the oldest today (1980 to 2023). Doorkeay shippers have been under this understanding since forever (timeline's fucked. Play with it). And they almost always picture Michael as being close in age. Hell, I know someone who made a whole timeline trying to catch all the options that the mistakes cause and found that there's a chance Michael could've been a year younger than Gerry (before getting the set year from Protocol. That timeline was made over 2 years ago)

And the few times there's been a larger age gap, the authors/artist always make sure to clarify:

THESE ARE TWO CONSENTING ADULTS, NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF EACH OTHER, AND CAPABLE OF LEAVING THE RELATIONSHIP IF THEY NEED TO.

Smh. G/d forbid girls like anything

.

#anon im very tired but im nodding in agreement #i dont ship doorkeay much personally but ppl who claim its problematic due to an age gap are so weird to me #2 consenting adults. no canon ages. weird ass timeline. chill #idk if its not your cup of tea all good #you dont need a reason to dislike smth outside just disliking it you dont need to try claim smths problematic #and everyone who engages in it is also problematic to dislike it #idk i think some ppl need to learn that #magpod #the magnus archives #tma #gerry keay #gerard keay #michael distortion #doorkeay #magpod confession

[ohbo-ohno]

bo, first of all i adore your writing!!

but you've mentioned a few shall we say 'darker themed' books you've read in asks here and there, can you give some recs of your faves?? pretty please??

first of all, i love you! and also yes always, i never mind giving book recs! i sorta ramble under the cut, sorry lol

alright i'll start with the darker romances. these are hard noncon, and depict abusive relationships that aren't always framed as bad. when i say dark i mean dark lmao, always be aware of what you're going itno before you read a dark romance

If you like my fics, I can almost guarantee you'll like Taken by Felicity Brandon. This is about an author who writes dark erotica and gets kidnapped by a fan, who forces her to live out some of her scenes. Includes petplay! I have my issues with the book (and I DNF'd the sequel) but ohhhh the smut is so good

I mentioned them a while back, but Measha Stone's Owned and Protected series is a 6 book series with noncon/dubcon petplay in every single book. Calling these "romance" is a stretch, but god if you like my noncon petplay stuff (and you're alright with reading explicit noncon and forced relationships), you might like these

I haaated the ending of Distorted by Nyla K. but dear fucking god it is a good prison dark romance. Also it is SO Ghoap coded, I would recommend reading the first ~80% of it lmfao

Corrupt Idol by Dinah Harper is the first book in a series that will probably never get finished, but honestly it's pretty good as a standalone. Dark step-brother romance, and I thought the writing (at least in the first half) was so good, I genuinely felt for the FMC at times (even if I was screaming at her)

Ok I'm not confident in this rec because I'm still not suuuuper sure how I feel about this book, but Torment by Dylan Page is a dark step-brother biker romance. The FMC is the MMC's "rock", and the only thing that keeps him from flying off into a violent rage when he's upset, and he develops an unhealthy attachment to her that everyone around them allows because they don't want to deal with him. I never read the second book, but this is another one where you really feel for the FMC

One of my favoriteeee dark A/B/O (specifically the first book) is Born to be Bound by Addison Cane. I would suggest not reading anything past the third book, and I'm not a huuge fan of the side plots, but the stuff with the FMC and MMC is just. God it's the perfect brand of dark A/B/O (in MY head)

I've recommended it before, but for my truly fucked in the head followers - Under His Heel by Adara Wolf is probably the darkest book I've ever read. It's a four book series (and I think the whole thing is worth reading) and it's got every single trigger warning except for (i think) scat, pedophilia, and necrophilia. it has rape, incest that's also rape, extreme body modification (though it's not permanent), severe public humiliation, severe mental torture, and just about 0 aftercare for our MMC. The book follows a man in a far distant future who's working as an indentured servant to pay off his debts & his incredibly sadistic and evil master. These books are far from "for everyone", but if you really want some fucked up romance (with heavy smut) I think these are worth reading!

aaand some softer dark romances. to me, these are books with some lighter kidnapping or soft noncon, abuse in a mental but not physical way, and MMCs who just think they're in the right

Gemma Weir's Montana Mountain Men is like an acid trip and it's kinda crack, but i read all 7 in like a day, so take that as you will. Each book is about a different brother in the same family as they fall in love - except, in this family the men supposedly know who their soulmate is the moment they lay eyes on them. So there's some light kidnapping, some manipulation/unhealthy behavior, and some birth control tampering in these. For what they are, I enjoyed almost all of them lmao

The Darkest Temptation by Danielle Lori is like a kidnapping romance written for non-dark romance readers tbh. It toes the line of noncon/dubcon, and it's definitely a kidnapping romance, but it's really not that dark.

Nicky the Driver by Cate C. Wells is (in my opinion) not as good as the first book in the series, but it's way lighter in terms of darkness level

Shiver by Ella Frank & Brooke Blaine is a stalker romance that fell a little short for me, but was overall enjoyable (iirc lol). It's about a young man who goes into a kink club and attracts the attention of the owner, who then stalks him. I think it just wasn't as dark as I wanted tbh, but if you like lighter dark stuff I think you might like this!

#recs #this got long sorry #asks and answers

[lowkeyrobin]

Mid90s gang reacting to reader writing a book about them and their friendship and reader wins a writing contest!!

- ♣️ (I'm giving you fluff okay I've decided I've tortured you enough with angst 🙄)

LMFAO YES YOU HAVE and I've been procrastinating those oneshots you sent me 💀💀

MID90S ; writer

includes ; fuckshit, ray, fourthgrade, ruben (platonic), & stevie (platonic)

warnings ; language, mentions of alcohol and drugs

masterlist

FUCKSHIT

you were no writer what-so-fucking-ever

while high, he dared you to enter some writing contest for school

"how funny would it be if some random junior won?"

honestly it would be funny, considering you're not a writer, you're a skater

you entered just for the fun of it, plus you had a great chance at beating some of the other contestants because you knew their writing was shit

you didn't even know what to write for the first two weeks

then it popped up in your head, like holy shit it was so obvious

you decided to write about yours and fuckshits long friendship history

from how you met, to your nicknames and to your other friends

let's just say, other than the profanity, the judges/senior english teachers loved it

you wrote like a whole motherfucking novel too

you got second place, considering they'd be in trouble for awarding a book with so much inappropriate content with first

plus the person who won first definitely deserved it

teachers were literally suggesting you publish the fuckin thing too like calm down ⁉️⁉️

fuckshit was too lazy to read it at first, but once you told him it was about you two and that you won second place? nah reading that was all he did

I honestly hc that he's a little dyslexic so he was struggling a little bit

but he loved it, it was genuinely moving to him and its literally about him

brought him to tears that he tried to hide

which he did to help his fragile ego by hugging you and hiding his face in your shoulder

genuinley so grateful for you

RAY

you were kinda iffy with writing

but once you saw the amount of money you could get from winning...?

shit sign me up

a thousand dollars to win first off of something you wrote? okay let's go LMAO

you didn't know what to write about because it's not like there was a given prompt so you just kinda spilled out stories and shit about you and ray

you made sure to leave out all the drugs and shit because you weren't gonna try and get in trouble LMAO honestly real

the judges loved it though

it was about 104 pages, so you made the actual like minimum, which was 80 pages

but thankfully for you, quantity doesn't equal quality

you actually got third surprisingly

that's still 400 dollars though

you didn't actually tell Ray or the others about you joining that contest so when you walked in with 400 dollars, a smile on your face and your skateboard and 52 sheets of notebook paper connected by a keyring under your arm, damn

you quickly explained and set your stuff down and Ray just scooped you up and spun you around while he hugged you

he's a simpleton but you got him giggling and shit okay??

genuinley so flustered that you wrote about you and him of all people like huh

he reads it front to back at least 3 times

FOURTHGRADE

you were pretty passionate about writing

so when your school was promoting a novel contest you knew you had to join

a thousand dollars would've done you a lot

you spent the next six months writing about you and fourthgrade, stories, how you met, favorite memories, random blurbs, etcetera

you told him about it but never that you were writing about him

you wanted it to be a surprise lmao

i also hc that he's a little dyslexic so 💀

you actually won too

apparently it was so "inspiring and moving amongst the youths" that you won ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS for it, IN CASH

you sprinted over to Motorz and immediately wrapped fourthgrade in a hug

"thanks for being such great inspiration"

"huh?"

you genuinley just retold some of his camcorder tapes for a bit of the book too so you had to give him some credit

you gave him 200 dollars because he refused to take any more

the duo

RUBEN

bro couldn't care less that you joined a writing competition

"whatever you want"

you have the annoying sibling dynamic what can I say

"dude I'll give you 100 bucks if you just be supportive"

"fine"

you wrote about him and your awesome sibling relationship

you made sure to cut out all the abuse and just say "growing up in a rough household" and "growing up not as privileged as everyone else" and shit bc you weren't getting cps called on anyone

you wrote like 70 pages

you got third

but you got 200 dollars so you basically split it with him

he ended up reading it because he was bored at motorz one night and you left it laying around

he's never smiled while crying before

you come in the next morning and he just silently hugs you

you see the book thing on the couch where he slept and you just kinda knew

"why are you crying?"

"i'm not!"

STEVIE

you also have a very sibling like dynamic

although instead of annoying each other you're kind of the comfort siblings you've both never had

so when you brought up the fact you joined a writing competition because you had a good chance at winning, he was like "oh cool"

"i'm writing about you"

"what the fuck why?"

he's supportive tho

he'll ask how it's going and stuff and you'll just give a vague answer

by the time they're due and judged, he asks what you placed

you shrug and pull out a thousand dollars cash from your backpack with a smile

"holy shit!"

you smile and hand him half of it

he's confused as to why but accepts it graciously

I mean half of its about him so he deserves some credit

gives you a little hug and shit

#lowkeyrobin #mid90s x reader #mid90s imagine #mid90s preference #fuckshit x reader #ray x reader #fourthgrade x reader #stevie mid90s #ruben mid90s #a24 films #skater film #fuckshit mid90s #ray mid90s #fourthgrade mid90s #gn reader #gender neutral reader #they/them reader

[steampunkforever]

Dune Part 2 is once more proof that Denis Villeneuve is an incredibly calculating director. And it should be good. He's been storyboarding Dune since the 80s. Of course Zack Snyder also released a film recently that'd been his passion project since before he was making movies, and Rebel Moon sucked, so that's clearly not a metric for success, but you get my point.

Right on the heels of releasing the phenomenal Sicario, Villeneuve got the keys to Dune. This is a moonshot take the money and run opportunity. I love this type of film. One of those "They may never let me do this again" movies like Magnolia or (to a lesser extent) Apocalypse Now! that build on previous success to sucker studio funding for something you really want to do. Usually this involves jumping to it and spending as much money as possible before accounting changes its mind about sending all those blank checks, but Denis was just as calculating as ever with it.

Adapting two more scifi properties at differing scales was the right idea for this, both allowing for more time to develop Dune and for Villeneuve to find his footing with less ambiguous science fiction (considering that my friends who watched Enemy barely understood it to be about aliens). Villeneuve is calculating. His steps are measured, and I've yet to see a film of his that feels outright rushed.

I think that this is in part due to Villeneuve's understanding that he is (at least up until the release of Dune) not part of a generation of directors who get whatever they want. This generation of director has been waning for a long time, but Nolan and Tarantino really mark the last generation of directors allowed to experiment on blank checks no matter if their last film flopped. Zack Snyder is also technically ranked among them but his decade-long slump is clearly an outlier. Villeneuve has to put out solid movies to earn the right to take creative risks, and Dune has clearly been another measured step in his film career. Which is to say that Dune Part 2 is fantastic.

I have a deeply nuanced relationship with Dune screen adaptations, so do note that there is some bias here, but regardless, this is a wonderful film. Did I wish they'd stuck to their guns and shown Alia for real? Did I kind of hope they kept it to just two films instead of the projected 3+ that are sure to come? Am I still outraged that they didn't recast Sting? Of course. But when it all boils down, this film is a science fiction accomplishment that you SHOULD go see.

The set design, sound design, acting, and cinematography were all top notch. There was rarely anything in this film I did not love (read: Timothee, my archnemesis). Of particular note were Pugh, Ferguson, and Bardem's performances. Bardem's Stilgar was an absolute delight, and I found myself losing the fact that he was acting in his performance. The plot, spectacle, and inclusion of Christopher Walken all sold me on the film.

Another detail that was clear evidence of Villeneuve's extremely calculated process was Zendaya's role as Chani in Part 2. Chani (largely sidelined in the books after showing up partway) is positioned as sort of the soapbox character to remind you that colonialism is bad at predetermined intervals. And while this is certainly not a choice I would've made for the character (I prefer to do my soapboxing in different parts of the text) I can't help but find that I didn't hate Chani's direction in the film. This is in spite of the fact that I detest Soapbox characters (except for in Spike Lee films. Love you Spike Lee) and find their usage lazy. Somehow it works for me here, even if it could've been more subtly rolled into the narrative. Man I'm really reaching for nitpicks, I should go back to demanding they show me a creepy toddler Alia.

Anyway if Sting was the one fighting Timothee's Paul that twink would get stabbed to death so hard you have no idea.

#sting metal diaper zone #dune part two #dune 2 #filmposting #dune

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2024-04-29

back from the work conference.

Listening: Podcast entry here, I am just into the part where I think The Magnus Archives starts getting good, around the late 80's when we start getting some answers for why the Institute is like that.

I have often been a person who complains when a monster-of-the-week story stops being monster-of-the-week to pursue drawn out plotlines, so it's nice that there's the regular supply of statements that occasionally intersect with the main plot.

Reading: Didn't feel like taking Piranesi on the work trip so it's been on hold, instead got through the back half of the Harrow reread. She's so broken up over Gideon she drives me insane. I'll get to Nona at some point. Once again it really is a different book when you have all the facts in your head ahead of time.

I do desperately want to see extended versions of some of the dream river bubble AU's that show up when she unfucks her brain. I know some of them have names you can search on AO3 I just can't remember what they are now.

Watching: Rewatched Titane (2021) because sometimes you need some distressing body horror. Truly one of the gender movies of all time.

Titane has me constantly yelling at the screen going "what is your plan here. what is your next move. why are you doing this."

Playing: A couple coworkers brought interesting card games to the conference and I hung out for a couple hours playing them on the last night.

6 nimmt! is a really clever compact card game that takes the form of a modified game of Reverse Nim with closed hands and multiple stacks. Supports a very large number of players efficiently.

Spot it! which is a game I've seen around but never played, a kind of hyper-snap. There's a deck of 55 cards with 57 symbols laid out so that every card has one and only one symbol in common with any of the other cards. Reveals how astoundingly hard it can be to pattern-match on two large sets of complex images.

Making: More progress on the lua ws2812 driver, running into memory issues that I need to understand rather than just winging it. As always I could utterly trivialize this by just using an application processor but it feels like overkill.

Tools and Equipment: If you use a terminal on a computer I have to recommend bitmap fonts. Conventional vector fonts look nice and smooth and they work well when you don't know what size text will be displayed but being able to do perfect pixel alignment on all your characters makes them both bold and compact, allowing for crisp neat edges and high contrast.

#last monday of the week

[demadogs]

Do you know any good wlw movies/ TV shows on netflix? I've watched a few, I am not ok with this, Carol, duck butter, but im LESBIAN DEPRIVED!

~🌈

YOU AND ME BOTH GIRLY.

unfortunately almost all my favorite sapphic shows have been canceled especially the ones on netflix but i do still think theyre worth your time. but it might also kill you bc the story isnt finished. all these shows are also just amazing plots too. like i would love them just as much even if there wasnt wlw relationships.

heres what i got for shows but not all of these are on netflix.

the wilds. this is an AMAZING SHOW. its on amazon its about a staged plane crash where 8 girls are stuck on an island but they dont know that its all a fucked up social experiment. a lesbian relationship became established before it got canceled after s2.

cable girls. this is on netflix and it actually DIDNT GET CANCELED HALLELUJAH. its an amazing show but it actually doesnt really count as sapphic bc one of the characters in the wlw relationship ends up being trans. but its still a great queer love. this shows spanish and set in late 1920s madrid at a telephone company. its one of my favorite shows ever literally every season is better than the last plz watch it.

everything sucks. this is on netflix and it did get canceled but the lesbian relationship was mostly established before the end of the first season. its set in the 90s and its just a really cute show im mad it got canceled.

paper girls. this is on amazon and ngl this is one of the most painful sapphic show cancelations ive ever suffered through so if you dont wanna watch it just bc of that i dont blame you. its about these four young girls who accidentally time travel from the 80s to current day and meet their future selves. the gay girlies are heavily implied and foreshadowed but they dont get together before the end of the show :(

the last of us!!! not canceled its still going!! this show has an episode that shows a past sapphic relationship with the lesbian main character but the first season doesnt introduce a new relationship yet. the second season will tho. im sure youve heard about this or already watched it but its about a zombie-like pandemic from a deadly fungus and its total post apocalyptic. also AMAZING found family father/daughter trope. dare i say i actually think i like them more than el and hopper.

i really need to find more great sapphic movies.

my favorite lesbian movie of all time is portrait of a lady on fire. its a french period piece and its just beautiful and THERE ARE LIKE ZERO MEN IN THE WHOLE MOVIE. i think the only line a man has is “bonjour” and thats it. MY KINDA MOVIE!!!!! INSTANT 5 STARS!!!!! i love this movie. the initial premise is that a woman needs to be painted but she cant know that shes being painted so the other woman has to just study her while hanging out and then paint her from memory. it ends up being much more than that but gaaahhh if you only watch one of these make it this movie.

another iconic sapphic movie is but im a cheerleader. way different tone much less dramatic and more comedy but still never gets old.

you didnt mention books but im gonna give you book recs anyway.

seven husbands of evelyn hugo!!!!!!! im sure youve heard about this. i dont think its overrated at all it really was such a good book and dont let the title fool you its gay as hell. if youre really not a reader tho this is going to be a netflix movie soon.

an amazing duo book series is criers war. i LOVE scifi and fantasy and this is my favorite sapphic scifi story ive ever read/watched. i want this to be a movie or show so bad. its about a world where some people are people and some are what they refer to as “automa” which are essentially cyborgs but they look just like humans. crier is an automa and the daughter of a king and ayla is a poor human and she has a vendetta against crier bc her father was responsible for her familys murder but crier doesnt know this! so then ayla gets the job as her maid for the goal of killing her basically but of course it gets super gay instead. its such an interesting take on the enemies to lovers trope bc its one sided, cryer has no idea ayla considers her her enemy. also neither of them are white i think crier is brown and ayla is black.

i hope you like these! and if anybody else has lesbian story recs plz put it in the replies or rbs cuz i also need more lesbian content!!!

#people plz give me more recs im begging #every new gay shit that comes out is mlm and i still eat it up usually but god where are the gay girlies :(( #byler #bc a lot of you guys are lesbians #sapphic #lgbt movie #eden answers

[latenightbreezeinheaven]

Synastry chart (Marilyn Monroe and Johnny Hyde)💕

So, I read the book named "The secret life of Marilyn Monroe" because I really adore her and I was also extremely curious about her childhood, how she got into the film industry etc. And I discovered the relationship between her and Johnny Hyde, who was a powerful person in the whole film industry and who was a protector and a father figure for her. My astro nerd ass went straight to the astro.com and calculated their synastry chart and I found some aspects which may indicate their chemistry. (I hope this doesn't seem creepy though because I definitely don't have bad intentions.)🤍

Johnny Hyde's sun conjuncts Marilyn Monroe's MC

This indicates that the sun person can help massively in MC person's career or become like a pivotal for MC person's success in public. The sun person just knows what MC person needs or wants in their life as a purpose or a goal. The sun person will also always support the MC person to achieve their dreams. I shared this aspect with my ex-crush. I was the sun person and he was MC person. I was willing to do everything I could to make him shine in the crowd. I wanted to be his cheerleader and like a sponsor (LMAO I mean sponsoring him in a business way and not about those sexual things😂). I wanted to solve things together with him whenever he told me about his job problems. But our fate just ended really quickly so that didn't get to happen in real life but I had never felt so much desire to support someone chase their dreams in my entire life.

Johnny Hyde's saturn conjuncts Marilyn's IC

I found out that Johnny Hyde was strict towards Marilyn even though he loved her so much. According to the book, he made her read books about acting and stuffs and he didn't want her to waste her time on superficial matters. He wanted her to do activities which would be progressive in her career all day long. In short, he was like a teacher not only in the business cases but also in her daily life activities. Once, I have shared a conjunction of saturn and MC with my childhood teacher. As a teacher, he was strict towards every student but it was way far different for me. He always tried to control how I represented to the public, how I acted and talked with other people and he even wanted to decide for my future career. It was like interfering my privacy and whole life. But he also taught me etiquettes like how to eat, how to make an eye contact while talking to others, how to fight back in a graceful way etc.. so thanks to him though.😶

They both shared venus-sun conjunction as a double whammy

I saw someone saying that this aspect is overrated but I think it is very wrong. This aspect is clearly NOT overrated. I don't know how to explain this but I've seen multiple charts of married couples and 80 percent of them have someone's venus conjunct to other person's sun. This aspect indicates pure love, adoration and attraction. It may not be like steamy hot and wet but the attraction between two people just comes naturally and you have no idea why or how and you just love that person as they are. No wonder why Johnny Hyde felt thunderstruck when he first met Marilyn. I also had this aspect with my ex-crush (oops I have too many crushes🤭). My friend also has his venus conjunct this unknown girl's sun and he told me that it was a love at first sight and that he has loved her purely since then. Basically, the venus person loves the sun person and sees them as their ideal type and the sun person loves the attention they get from the venus person and appreciates it most of the time. Even if it's platonic, the venus person loves the sun person as their bestfriend!🥺

Johnny Hyde's lilith conjuncts Marilyn's moon

I also saw someone saying that lilith aspects are overrated in synastry and I felt very disappointed. I don't know if it's only me but lilith contacts are too intense and scary for me. I know lilith is a bit not too personal in a person's chart but it at least holds some power which can make one person obsessed with the other depending on the planets and aspects of course. He literally was obsessed with her emotionally and it was a really deep connection in my opinion. I have shared this aspect with some guy. I was the lilith person and he was the moon person. I was emotionally obsessed with him and I wanted to get all over his whole body and into his deepest heart and soul. It's not the same as the pluto aspect and it's a milder one but somehow I was just obsessed. That's all I can say. O-B-S-E-S-S-E-D.🤒

Johnny Hyde's pluto conjuncts Marilyn's sun and mercury

Here comes the intense one. I have never experienced a conjunction between sun and pluto or mercury in pluto BUT I believe that I am always drawn to people who have their pluto conjunct my moon. As the moon person, I feel like I can rely on the pluto person on a spiritual level and I feel like they just get me. They always understand me in a unique way. I feel like I can share about almost everything and they will never judge me. So back to Marilyn's story. Marilyn finds Johnny intriguing from the start and I feel like Johnny might also be a bit manipulative towards Marilyn. For instance, he persuaded Marilyn to marry him so that when he died, she could become super rich.

Johnny Hyde's sun conjuncts Marilyn's chiron

Generally, the sun person can heal the chiron person's wounds just by their existence. Marilyn used to call Johnny "daddy" and she also mentioned that he was a safe place for her and the person she could fully open up to without having to worry about other things. She also had an absent father so he was like a comforting and powerful father figure who could protect her at all costs. However, this seems a bit dangerous in my opinion though because my recent ex had his sun and mercury conjunct my chiron and yes his existence and his words were truly healing for me but he also gave me some wounds even though they are not actually that deep. I consider him as my enemy now and I don't even know why but maybe because he was disrespectful towards me aside from being supportive or encouraging. He triggered my past traumas too. And our conjunction was also in my 7th house, so this can also be the reason why he became my enemy. (7th house is considered as a lovey-dovey in a synastry chart but be careful, these people can also become your enemies one day, this is not for everyone though)😬

I'm really surprised about how I even decided to write this because I was simply reading that book and out of the blue, their relationship made me feel inquisitive about their synastry chart lmao😂 my astro addiction can never end😭. Anyways, thank you so much for reading and have a great day! Stay happy and healthy little fellows! 🌻🐝

#synastry observations #synastry notes #synastry #astrology observations #astrology notes #astrology #sun conjunct venus #sun conjunct pluto

[holly-fixation]

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

Does personal lore mean it has to be about me?? I'm gonna assume yes?? I can't tell what this question wants. My personal lore is that I hated reading for most of my life. I mean more than 80% of my life. Ironic, I know. It's still incredibly difficult for me to pick up a book and just read! Somehow this did not transfer to fanfic. It's one of the few things I can read without getting fatigue.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairing

Let's stick with good old Zack and Sephiroth for this one. I head Canon Zack is very good at brushing Sephiroth's hair. HOWEVER, in the wing AUs where Sephiroth's wing appears while he's still sane, Zack is garbage at preening. It takes too long! It's not intentional that he gets impatient and less and less careful. This has lead to tearing multiple chunks of feathers from brushing too fast.

The biggest problem is accidentally ripping a feather out from its root. Sephiroth's instincts kick in and he suddenly attacks the offender, no matter who it is. He only injures Zack once before having enough control to stop himself. Zack never holds it against him. It becomes a quiet night of the two being close until Sephiroth no longer feels overwhelming guilt for what he's done.

Sorry, got a little carried away. A well known bit of personal lore: everything I write becomes angst.

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

Hojo is incredibly interesting. Yes the man is a complete sociopath, but I cannot deny the steps to his madness and how it grew throughout the game and fascinating to me.

I really don't have many unpopular opinions (at least not with the Tumblr crowd). Ships though? Different story.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

So in The Last Straw, I came up with this completely bullshit idea: a child with a significantly higher concentration of Jenova cells cannot absorb any nutrients except meat based protein (or the lab made equivalent). This is based off the fact that Jenova in that world survives on the lifestreams of planets, and if you look at a food chain and think of the planet as one more link, Her species is Always a predator.

I realize now, after writing all of this, that the question does ask for backstory. Woops.

Anyway, I was trying to BS a name for this condition. Then I found the significantly less severe condition of malabsorption. On a surface level, it's a condition where the body does not absorb nutrients/absorb them properly. So because this was so different than anything else I've researched, it sticks out.

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

The blond landed on the vehicle and Strife swiftly removed the blade. Every second they wasted on this transition meant more firepower on the truck. Cloud grabbed the handlebars with his left hand and the Buster Sword with his right. Together they swept through Shinra's ground forces, men knocked off their vehicles and onto the unforgiving pavement.

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

@altocat - always kind and let's me steal her ideas

@prismaticpichu - a font of kindness who always has a Fluffy idea cooking. Great when I need some joy.

@winter-doggo - his art always makes me smile. And he still leaves great comments on my fics despite my sudden lack of online interaction.

And you! Yes you, @shadowbanshee , because you're one of the only people that's left me asks like the ones I see for everyone else I follow. I still see likes for the "CC Sephiroth finds CCTV footage of Lucrecia" from December!

I'm not saying there aren't others. I just don't want this post to be any bigger lol. Know if I didn't mention you, I still appreciate you!

#ffvii #final fantasy vii #ff7 #sephiroth #final fantasy 7 #jenova #zack fair #asks #answers #cloud strife

[tlgtw]

Aside fromsoft, are there any fantasy game settings/stories you're into?

Like what was the first game that pulled you in and before you realized you were checking dialogue for inconsistencies?

Zoooooomg, I *wish* had any other answer for this but the first game that "pulled me in" indeed WAS a Fromsoft game; and it was Bloodborne.

This came around a few months after it came out, (Meaning I was 14.) and I'd wanted Bloodborne the whole time because of how wicked fucking awesome it looked. (even if perhaps I was a little too young for it.)

I can't remember how, but by some means or another leading up to or concurrently with Bloodborne's initial release I got into all the "Loretubers" from that time, as they're known now.

VaatiVidya of course--most likely he was the first person I ended up watching, but also the other ones. Like the one who wrote that big book about it basically called like "The Paleblood Hunt" or something, and a few others!

The most significant of which I can tell you for a fact was the 'late' Jerks Sans Frontieres.

Her videos shot straight into my spinal cord because she wasn't a summarizer. She, in a similar sense that I am now, was a detective.

At that point I was still purely an audience-member for that latent genre of YouTube videos. As the consumer I enjoyed all of them, but I liked her's best. And I must've rewatched each of her Bloodborne videos at least a half-dozen times before I finally got my hands on the game myself--for my 15th birthday--and I got *so* scared by my experience in Central Yharnam that I think it took me days to pick up the controller again the second time.

I legitimately considered returning it! It was my first FromSoft game. I'd never played something that just, say, *didn't* have background music all the time, for example. I remember it still, clear as day, how unnerving it was just walking around the early areas hearing just your footsteps and the background rumble and when I was unlucky the screaming sounds of the crows and other enemies.

Precisely, when I first came up that ladder to the Central Yharnam checkpoint, when I heard the scream of the Cleric Beast, it scared me out of my wits so goddamn hard that I stopped moving for like 15 seconds.

I was still *just* turned 15, but at that point I had watched all of Bloodborne over and over again like 80 times. I'd watched tutorials and build guides and cheese strats and weapon movesets and everything else I could about that game, before I finally got my hands on it. I thought I would be, at least, ultimately okay. Cause I would still know everything I'd have to do.

I was wrong.

But I did get through it, hahaha.

In-fact I ended up getting through it so hard that by the time I got my hands on the actual DLC, my main save file was in NG++. So the first time I beat The Old Hunters was in NG++.

Fortunately I was very grinded-up so I think ultimately the experience balanced out.

And nowadays I've beaten Bloodborne so many times that I have the entire level of Central Yharnam actually memorized. Until a few years ago could've draw an accurate map of it from memory (and I have).

With Bloodborne being my introduction, as it were, to the concept of Videogame Story Explained Videos, it was also my introduction to the concept of seriously reading a videogame's story in the first place.

What this wasn't, yet, was me actually going in *myself* to actually cross-reference item descriptions and dialogue, for my *own* understanding. You don't do that sorta thing unless you're specifically involved in discussion. And I was involved in *no* discussions in 2015, or 2016, or '17 or '18 or '19 or anything all the way up to until 2022, because online I have the tendencies of a weird hermit.

Although that is me exaggerating. In truth prior to my dealings with Elden Ring I had been a Redditor and I talked (argued) about the story details of Little Nightmares 1 and 2 (My favourite games.) on the subreddit for those games. By then I had already become the kind of person I am still now, most of all in my disinterest in finding any answers regarding a fictional story that can't account for every extant element... of that story. (As you've seen, and will see more of in Episode X of ERwSET. When an idea I have appears to conflict with work in subject, I drop the idea. And develop one that doesn't conflict with it instead. This is opposed to the alternative of making up reasons or justification to keep the initial idea regardless)

No doubt doing that instead would probably make me a lot more content to make money with... Personally, doing so isn't engaging to me, because I am already someone who writes fiction. And in my opinion, "Videogame Story Explained Videos" are fundamentally a non-fiction genre of video, and for me are more interesting in general when they conform to that, because they interface directly with the media itself, and the material that media's author's put into it. Rather than just the individual video creator's personal experience of that media, of that material.

In part this comes from my background as someone who writes poetry and fiction. Of course.

*Of course,* an author who writes and puts meanings into material themselves, finds themselves more interested dissecting the material and creative decisions of *other authors,* who do the same thing, as opposed to the material and creative decisions of just *other readers.* Who most of them don't--generally maintaining more humane professions and areas of expertise instead.

And probably this is rooted into my tendencies as a 'weird hermit,' too. But, from my perspective, if I wanted to see what a fellow member of the audience thinks are the inner working of this character or imagines regarding the off-screen elements of a story, I would read their fanfiction.

...

...

That is of course reductive, but I think saying it like that is really funny, so that's why I'll be still saying it xd.

"Everyone consumes, but not everyone makes," you could say. The same way there are less farmers than people in the world. There are less writers than readers in the world. When I analyze a work of fiction, underneath it all what I'm looking for is to see what decisions the authors made, for *their final product:* "What does that do?" "What does this do?" "If it was different, what would that make?" "What does this matter? Does it?"

"Would I do this too?"

And this interest excludes the question of 'why,' predominantly. I'm not interested so much in wanting to know 'why,' because the only way to learn that is if the author themselves actually decides to share "why." I'm interested just in what the final decisions "are."

"Why'd the author decide to make this character do this?" Well, maybe they were really hungry that day. Or maybe they saw an ad on TV. Or maybe they were talking to their friend about something unrelated and their friend happened to say a phrase in a peculiar and cool way and the author decided he wanted to make use of that, too. And everything else that encompasses the spectrum of the human experience.

"Why" is whatever it wants, it's not like it would change what the final product "is," right?

And of course this doesn't preclude the fact that author's can just *lie* about their motivations too. For that reason, actually trying to find out 'why' is generally an impossible task.

And I'm not interested in pursuing those/I'm not interested in not #winning.

Perhaps this, you could say, then, is the ultimate source of my attitude. Not in the way that it's why I actually decided to write and draw and voice and edit my 80% Elden Ring lore series and 15% weird cartoon; "Elden Ring Explained with Snake-Eyes Teieruji." I did all those for completely circumstantial reasons! (And I go into detail about them in Issue #0 of the Kinda-Monthly Newsletter.)

Nor even in how my show is... the way it is! 'Cause even that is just me being really really slow and meticulous, (as you've no doubt suffered) and anyone can act like that~!

But it is, perhaps, what made me come up with the idea of making such a show as ERwSET, at all, in the first place. (And you can also read about the *second* major exclusion in my recounting here from that same article in Newsletter #0, which was the Sekiro-related project for which Snake-Eyes Teieruji was actually created, that didn't end up going anywhere.)

You'd have be a pretty specific kind of chucklehead to actually think of doing, specifically all this; y'know?

But you may be surprised to learn that I'm normally not like this at all, when I play videogames. Most of my creative energy in such regards are channeled into my poetry, art, and fiction. When I eat games, or movies, or books or TV, I don't really feel a want to find out "exactly what the author did for this character" or "exactly what elements of this scene connect with another scene" because I guess, perhaps, I'm too occupied with enjoying myself...

Hm.

Well, maybe it'll be more accurate to say that what I'm presenting, "of myself" in ERwSET, is effectively extremely extremely scripted and deliberate.

I spend months writing my scripts. (sorry about that.) And those months include the meticulous cross-referencing and fact-checking that gives those videos their noticeable pow.

It's a large amount of *work,* that that is. The desk-jockeying kind. And it's not something that can just do itself when you're relaxing playing any game normally. (I'll never just stop what I'm doing while playing a game to fact-check whether I'm currently right about something, while I'm still in the middle of playing it.

For example in my first playthrough of Elden Ring: I wasn't actually sure how Marika's name was spelled until I had finished my first playthrough. That I wasn't sure if it was "Marika" or "Merika" at the time just legitimately didn't concern to me. I just didn't pay that close of attention whenever I passed a Church of Marika or whatever to actually remember how it spelled her name, afterwards.

I actually kept a journal to keep track of all of my sidequests and stuff for my first playthrough, too! So maybe here's another example, haha:

And here's one more dfbjkskjdbfbkjsdkjbfsjdsf. These are all things I actually wrote down in the middle of playing the game so reading these myself is really fucked up I just remember what I was doing when I wrote them:

What I'm referring to as 'the fucking castle' there is actually what I thought the Siofra Aquaduct was, the first time I saw it, hahaha. I was even a little bummed out when I actually got to it, I'll admit. I thought it was gonna be an entire dungeon.)

In any case;

The experience of *creating* something, and the experience of *consuming* something, are just fundamentally incomparable things.

You could never figure out how houses are built by just living in one, even if you lived in one for a really long time. Right?

It's that very sort of thing; in terms of cross-referencing dialogue and noting game-wide consistencies and inconsistencies for discrepancies and explanations, no playing a game inspired me do that, or could. It was my becoming an author of fiction that inspired me to do that, and my burgeoning desire to understand the decisions *other authors* made, for *their* fiction.

"I wanna know how to do that too." Right?

Eventually this desire lead to me writing poems instead.

Which lead to me (once I finally became good enough at writing to realize--as related in that poem I flashed from highschool in ERwSET1) disavowing the written word entirely! TOO limited for me, I though...!

Pictures have WAY more pow than words!!!

And that's how I got into drawing...

(which are like *way* more powerful than words, right, like it's not even comparable, the only thing words are up-to-down unbeatable at is, indeed, non-fiction... but also in being a trillion times faster than everything else to actually work with. I have returned to the written word, since then, as you might tell. And I'll tell you that writing also has one advantage that no other skill on Earth has--and that's you can practice it using only your head. Every other skill needs equipment, lit only needs words.)

...which is lead me to my foray *now;* the likes of 2-dimensional medias like video! (visual + audio)

:DDD

But that's maybe not the kind of question you were actually asking, either... so...

Y'know... maybe it actually *is* Elden Ring, that's what 'pulled me in'.

I'm pretty far-in-deep right now in this, aren't I? And I've certainly never been this deep in something before!

How... did I get here...!?

I talk all about this in Issue 0 of the Newsletter as well but it's because of how Elden Ring served to combined FromSoftware's skills in atmosphere, the acting of the characters, visuals + audio, and gameplay, with George RR Martin's skills in actually have a coherent plot to present with those elements.

I've stated so before so I'll say so again that earlier FromSoft games such as Bloodborne and (especially) Dark Souls 3 are, to *a* meaningful extent, "not worth" looking into closely from a narrative perspective. In the way that their stories were never purposely finished.

The Soulsborne games have the reputation of having stories that are predominantly based on vibes, and that's not by accident. They are based on vibes.

Gameplay, atmosphere, acting, etc. Those are things that dictate the vibes. But they're not precise. You can't find the definitive answer to a character motivation in their boss theme, that's music.

*Power,* of course, they have in spades, but obviously not any 'precision.'

As we know, Bloodborne had a lot of cut content. And Dark Souls 3.

And as a result of the same internal situations (i.e. real life reasons like time, budget, and workforce) that lead to all that content being cut, a number of the questions you would ask regarding the plot details in those games, literally do not have answers *in* those games.

The stories of Bloodborne and Dark Souls 3 are ambiguous. But not in the way that there are multiple answers: In the way that there are *no* answers.

Again, that isn't by accident. The games themselves are obviously, literally, finished products. It was deliberate decisions made during production to *remove* material communicating parts of the story, for variable reasons, from what would become the finished product.

Thus, leading to parts of "the story" being, for the reader; missing.

Most people will frame this as equivalent to "the audience deciding what the truth is." And I think this is completely inaccurate.

"The audience can choose what the truth is" is when there would be multiple possible answers. (Little Nightmares 1 and 2 are my favourite games.)

"The audience can *never* know what the truth is" is when there are no possible answers.

And in my opinion they are completely different narrative outcomes. They shouldn't be equated.

...

...not acknowledging, of course, the *massive* amount of subjective legwork the word 'possible' is doing there, with those vibes-based definitions:

"Possible" as in, coherent with what is (percieved to be) in the text... by the reader?

Or "possible" as in, literally possible to be imagined by someone... such as the reader, whoever that happens to be?

The topic is only more complex from there. (All into academia and shit tho I wouldn't know I'm an art school dropout.)

And... almost definitely that's also not what you asked, either...

Hm...

Well, I ask that you forgive me.

As for *why* Elden Ring was special to me, circumstantially, such that it lead to my actually making ERwSET, the explanation for that will remain in Issue 0 of the Members-Only Kinda-Monthly Newsletter.

As to *what* lead to me becoming this way, as you see before you? (Insane.) I hope I was able to answer it.

As for RECOMMENDATIONS, for games in general, that inspire ME, personally!?!?!? (Specifically, in the way that they inspired me to think about the setting and wonder about how things in there connect. These listing might look random but I'm positive they're exactly what you might mean in you including, specifically, what "settings" I'm into. Albeit, you are getting this from a poet. So... there is that as well. I hope if you end up looking into any of these that you do end up pleased with the experience.)

Hohokum (2014), for PS4 and PC

GRIS (2018), for basically everything

Bloodborne (2015), but note it standing directly *on* Elden Ring

Minute of Islands (2021) for PC and consoles

The surrealist artbook "Codex Serafinianus" by Italian artist Luigi Serafini (originally published in 1981, but still added to by him occasionally with an updated 40th anniversary edition having been released in 2021.)

Gorogoa (2017), for basically everything again

Child of Light (2014), also, for basically everything, somehow

Flower (2009), available on PC (and I really cannot overstate how important 'Flower' is to me, I didn't even know games could *be* like that, before I played this)

And of course, my all-time favourite book "The Vine That Ate the South" by the band The Legendary Shack Shakers's basically only actual member, JD Wilkes. (A book that has all-but baked itself into my genome since I first read it in highschool, and the additional 29 times I've read it since. 'Cause I have been counting. I voraciously recommend the Audible-licensed Recorded Books and RB Digital audiobook version; the narrator T. Ryder Smith's voice is a trillion bucks for that book.)

And y'know what I think I'm wanting to mirror this answer directly into the Kinda-Monthly Newsletter itself. Not all my readers follow me on Tumblr, even fewer'll be online at the right time as to actually *see* this post this before it's buried under everything else I'll post afterwards, and I've just spent the last few hours enjoying the hell out of myself writing all 3100 words of it, gyahahahhahaha!!

So, for those who aren't reading this!

Look forward towards seeing it the first time, in Issue #1 of the T-L-G-T-W Official Fanclub Members-Only Kinda-Monthly Newsletter. (The Issue that'll be available for free.)

My reader, I also hope you don't mind your ask ending up inspiring me to do this. But you might be the first of more, too.

So for now, going forward for any questions and answers such as these asked to me (even anonymously) on Tumblr blog, that activate me like this one has; *they* might just end up in the *next* Issue of the Newsletter, too...!

I can't say for certain I'll announce every that do, ahead of time.

But, maybe... you'll just be able to just... tell. Somehow.

Hm

#tlgtw ask #did not expect all of this to come out of me i will not lie #but... i guess I am just predilicted towards this kind of thing. too. #not even gonna lie I really loved writing this xd. Literally brightened up my day. #Thank you anonymous asker. I really appreciated your question.

[cascadiums]

Ooh, come back here and tell me more about Quincey never needing to be woken up (I am 80% sure I am aware of the Thing with Quincey Morris)

(under a cut because I'm talking about the end of the book so first time readers, please skip. also forgive me, I got distracted and ended up on a wider thing of what the hell is up with Quincey in general)

I first encountered the Something Is Wrong With Quincey Morris theories in university. My seminar tutor was convinced that Bram Stoker had been to the US between drafts of Dracula and something happened to make him disillusioned with the politics of the country, and so he edited Quincey Morris to be more ambiguous and less heroic. Before that I hadn't noticed Quincey was sort of weird, but once it got pointed out, I couldn't drop it, and that led me to this:

Simmons, James R. “‘If America Goes on Breeding Men Like That’: ‘Dracula’s’ Quincey Morris Problematized.” Journal of the Fantastic in the Arts, vol. 12, no. 4 (48), 2002, pp. 425–36.

I don't have the pdf but jstor gives you free online access to so many papers per month if anyone wants to read.

It's not the first published text on the topic, but it's the first one I read that argued Quincey is a vampire. It's a very entertaining read, it sets up all the evidence like an Agatha Christie plot and makes Quincey seem really suspicious, for reasons such as:

There is no evidence in the novel that he sleeps because he's always patrolling for bats or happens to have already got up when people go to wake him

His transfusion doesn't help Lucy

It's never explained who drugged the servants in Lucy's house right before he coincidentally appears

He fired a gun into the house, what the hell Quincey

Why the hell is a cowboy here anyway? Seems suspicious, he must be undead

For me it veers between very compelling and verging on silly, but it's definitely fun. It sort of feels like the middle ground between literary analysis and a conspiracy theory. But let's face it, there is definitely something wrong with Quincey.

So many people don't even know he's in Dracula. He barely ever makes it into adaptations despite being the man who kills the Count. Arguably, the Big Hero of Dracula. The first guy to mention vampires in Dracula. He should be iconic. Instead, even a lot of gothic lit textbooks forget he's even there. He just sort of.,, falls out of the narrative. I don't know what it is, but something about the way Quincey is written makes him lose significance. His death scene is actually really fucking interesting too! Ties in with some major symbolic themes, is really sad, and yet doesn't make much impact outside of the text. Something is Weird with him.

Some of the theories I've seen include him being a double agent and he's Dracula's real assistant (I guess Renfield is just the distraction?), he's undead, he's a werewolf (okay, I can't find any evidence of this one now but unless it was a weird dream, I swear I read it somewhere), and that he's the result of a passive aggressive character assassination of the US by Bram Stoker because he fell out of love with the notion of cowboys.

I have to confess, I am obsessed with all these theories. I don't really think most of them work, but I am obsessed with them regardless. Because whatever is going on, Quincey Morris is an Outsider. He's like the Count and Van Helsing but in some ways moreso. They get so much more dialogue than him to give you an idea of their mindset, so however separated from the other characters they are, the reader can access them. But Quincey is laconic. His past is ambiguous, his necessity to the plot is apparently debatable, and his actions are kind of baffling. The story treats him very strangely, and theories like that try to bridge the gap.

I don't know, I guess this is sort of reader-response theory? For me it's less about the content of the theories and more about the existence of the theories. Something Is Wrong With Quincey Morris is evidence of some weird stuff going on in the text with the narrative not knowing how to treat him. The novel simulated a battle between historic Europe and modern Britain, and somehow America won, which nobody realised was an option and so the whole thing folded in on itself and erased the cowboy from our collective consciousness.

#dracula daily #quincey morris favourite weird guy #animate-mush

[tolerateit]

TW: I keep hearing people in their twenties complain because they're "old". I keep telling them that's a good thing. You wanna have as many years as you can. Who cares if your body changes and becomes frail. You're still alive, having experiences and being surrounded by people you love, and who love you.

I never wanna tell them when I developed this thought process. Going from a teen that just wanted everything to end, to seeing someone I was close with pass away too young, it made me realize life is the best and only thing we got. It's whatever we make it, and even getting to 80-90 years old, it no longer feels like it's gonna be enough time. There's so many experiences to have, so many things to make, so much stuff to see, so many people to love! Sure, you get literal and metaphorical scars along the way, but you still get to experience sunrises and sunsets. Still get to have your favorite little drink. Still get to read a book that will change your life. Still got blorbos to obsess with. Animals to cuddle with. Pretty things to collect. Music to listen to. And most importantly - to me right now - see the people you love achieve the things they're striving for, change and grow, be happy for them and love them for it.

I had to share this on anon with someone, it's been weighing on me for months, and I hope it has what you (whoever's reading this) need. Have as many years as possible. It's the best thing we get.

<3

this is quite literally one of the nicest things I've read this week and i really appreciate you sending this 🥺💖

#you ask for the tab*

[littlesubbyflower]

Slow Dancing — S.H.

Modern!Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Summary - You slow dance with Steve outside of his BMW

3.5k Words

Warnings: None? Actually— Friends To Lovers, Admission of love? idk man this feels like absolute, tooth rotting fluff.

A/N : Doing this as a modern!Steve because when asking my parents about how things were in the 80’s, they responded with “We were between the ages of 1-10 during that time, our teen years were in the 90’s” so Modern!Steve it is! I would also love to shout out all of the wives in the Coven for helping me 🫶🏻 and @myobmaya for always reading my late night screenshots that I send and always helping me run with my ideas 💖

Don’t forget to like and reblog!

— 🍓 — — 🍓 — — 🍓 —

“Ah, I don’t know Robin, I just don’t think she sees me that way.” Steve said, stacking the pile of books on the counter after scanning them in.

“Oh my gosh, you’re such a dingus! She totally has the hots for you.” Robin calls a few aisles over, putting away the cart full of books.

“You think?” Steve asks, looking down at his feet, a slight blush rising to his cheeks. Steve had never been so smitten with a girl since Nancy Wheeler. Steve will never forget how she looked him in his eyes and said he was bullshit, him asking her if she loved him, and her repeating that ‘it’s bullshit.’

Steve was heartbroken, everyone in the party knew it. Robin found out how much damage had been done when she and Steve were in the bathroom together while Steve spilled his guts out in a toilet after drinking too much. Eddie could tell there were tensions between Nancy and Steve, but no one spoke about it really. Dustin tried to give Eddie a ‘long story short’ version, but it was way too confusing for Eddie to put together pieces because the curly haired boy was speaking too quickly.

You hadn’t lived in Hawkins long. You moved in the late spring from a small town in Texas. Being the outcast at your new school, you kept mainly to yourself. The students of Hawkins High made fun of you for your accent on your first full day in the cafeteria, which had caused you to cry in the bathroom your whole lunch period. Robin had heard you crying when she had walked past the bathroom and comforted you as best she could, and the two of you had been inseparable since. Eddie Munson had also managed to rope you into his small group after Dustin wouldn’t shut up about how cool you were

Steve thought the shift was dragging on, despite it being a Friday night, one of the busiest nights of the week for the small bookstore. Every time the bell on the front door would chime, Steve would secretly hope it was you and would quickly hide his disappointment when he saw it wasn’t. The bell rang and Dustin sauntered into the store.

“You will never guess who I just saw at the record shop next door!” Dustin runs up to the counter “Your girlfriend!”

“For the last time, she isn’t my girlfriend. We are only best friends, that’s all!” Steve said, running his hand through his hair. “She’s probably getting that new record from Eddie, they’ve got the same music taste. Who still collects records? I told her I've got an extra spot on my music subscription.”

“No one wants your spotify login, Steve. She’s going to come in, and besides, I think it’s cool as shit that she still collects records, makes her so much cooler! ” Dustin said, seeing the tips of Steve’s ears turning a tinge of pink at the mention of you. Dustin had gone straight to the D&D display to grab a new book before returning to the counter.

“It’s fine if she doesn’t come in, you know.” Steve replied, taking a book from the younger boy.

“You damn near break your neck every time that bell chimes because you secretly wish it WAS her walking in here.”

Steve’s face flushed a bright red at the accusation.

“Can it, Henderson.” He replies, scanning the book on the register and placing it to the side. “Are you renting this one, or buying?”

“Knowing how Eddie gets with his campaigns, I’m going to buy this one.” Dusting grimaced, remembering how he had rented a book a few weeks ago and had to pay for another book.

“Wait, are we talking about -” Robin seemingly pops into the conversation out of nowhere.

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Anyways.. Stevie, are you going to ask her to the party at Bugsy's tonight?” Robin teases.

“Yeah Stevie, are you?” Dustin mocks, fluttering his eyelashes and clasping his hands under his chin.

“Oh my god you two are insufferable.” Steve hides his face in his hands. “The actual worst!”

“You never answered my question, so I'm going to take your silence as a yes.” Dustin smirks, handing Steve the money for the book.

Just then, the doorbell chimed and the three turned their heads quickly to see who had come in.

“Whoa, why are you guys looking at me like that?” you laughed awkwardly, walking up to the counter. You dug the two books out of your bag and smiled at Steve. “Anyways, thanks for the book recommendations, Stevie! They were great!”

“Y-yeah, no problem!” Steve rushed out. “Hey uh, so there’s this… party tonight, and I was won—”

“Sure!” you reply. “Pick me up at 7. Bye Rob, bye Dustin!” you wink, blow Steve a kiss and walk out the door.

“I cannot believe that just happened.” Steve said to no one in particular. Robin and Dustin only shook their heads.

“It happened and he doesn’t even believe it, total Steve move.” Dustin throws his hands up in exasperation

— 🍓 — — 🍓 — — 🍓 —

Back at your mother’s childhood home, you pace back and forth, half dressed, ranting to Eddie.

“Oh my god, what if I was too confident? I mean, I didn’t even give him the chance to answer! I mean for fucks sake I blew him a kiss before I walked out the door!” You throw yourself onto the bed rather dramatically and Eddie just looks at you.

“Sunshine, you’re overthinking this. It’s going to be okay, I promise.”

“What if he doesn’t show up and I'm just sitting on the porch like an idiot?” You ask, sitting up. “Eddie, I’m terrified of that happening again.”

“That’s not going to happen. Steve is different, trust me.” Eddie says, standing.

“Yeah, well, that’s what the cheerleaders said about Andy.” You reply and roll your eyes.

“You wound me, darling, I would NEVER lie to you. I’ve spent some time around him, and he’s not anything like those asshole jocks.”

“I guess I'll just have to take your word for it.”

“Guess you will.” Eddie shoves you. “Please get dressed, people who can see into your first floor window will get so many bad ideas.”

“Sorry, sorry!” standing and grabbing a sweatshirt off of the chair at the desk in the far left corner in the room. “That's it, I'm not going. I'm going to tell Steve that I changed my mind!” You slam yourself down in the chair in a huff after yanking on the sweatshirt.

“No, for the love of heavy metal— absolutely fucking not.” Eddie says, staring at you. “For my own sanity, you are absolutely going to that fucking party with Steve. I can no longer take the pining. You both like each other but are too chicken shit to do anything about it.” Eddie points his finger at you playfully, but his stare held a serious undertone. “If I have to hear from Robin that Steve cannot stop talking about how great you look in that stupid red bikini or any other clothes for that matter and if I hear you talk about how great Steve looks in anything one more time, I'm going to absolutely lose my shit.”

Your cheeks flush a deep red in embarrassment. You open your mouth to speak, but Eddie continues.

“Listen, I love you, but you and Steve need to get your asses in gear before Robin and I take matters into our own hands.” Eddie stands and walks into your closet, pulling out a baby pink and floral white sundress. “Harrington hasn’t shut up about this since you wore it a month ago.” before tossing the garment onto your bed.

You gawk at the boy, eyes as wide as saucers. “You cannot be serious? This dress?” Your face manages to flush a deeper color. “H-he talks about this dress?”

“Serious as a heart attack.” Eddie says, drawing an ‘x’ over his chest.

You look at the dress, weighing your options. You could put on the dress and go to Bugsy’s party and maybe air out your feelings, or you could stay in your room and probably wish you were at the party. Grabbing the dress off the bed, you look at Eddie.

“Guess I'm going to the party.”

— 🍓 — — 🍓 — — 🍓 —

Eddie had left not long after you had decided you were going to the party. He promised to see you there, he just needed to run by Rick’s to stock up on his supply before stopping by to make some deals.

Applying a last swipe of lipgloss and a final spritz of hair spray into your hair, you take one look in the mirror. You adjusted the sleeves of your dress and your fingers immediately dropped to the bottom hem on the skirt, rubbing the fabric between your fingers. You check the clock in the wall for the time, and your heart rate picks up when you notice it’s 6:57. Steve should be here any minute.

Rushing around your room, you find a small purse and shove your lipgloss, a pack of gum, your phone and wallet into. Picking up your strappy sandals, you rush down the stairs calling out your goodbyes to your parents. Once you reach the front door, you stop and put on your shoes and glance at your hair in the mirror next to the door once more, fixing a strand that has now been misplaced. Ruffling your roots and twisting the strands once more, you smile at your reflection and take in a deep breath. On the exhale, you open the door and take two steps before your cheek collides with someone’s chest.

“I’m sorry!”

“Oh god, my bad!”

Steve steadies you, grabbing your upper arms. “I-I should really watch where i’m going.” He looks you up and down before blushing. “Are you okay?”

“I'm okay, Steve. Maybe I should be the one to watch where I'm going.” You blink up at him before your own blush tinges your cheeks and you immediately cast your eyes to the ground.

Steve’s hands are still holding your arms and his touch feels electrifying. He clears his throat before gently dropping his hands. “Y-you ready to go?”

“Oh, sure!” you say looking back up at him and smiling nervously. Steve holds his hand out to you to lead you to his car. You take his hand, feeling electricity jolting from your hand up your arm. Steve felt it too, the way his breath hitched and he could hear his own heartbeat in his ears as you grabbed his hand and he led you to his car.

“Ever the gentleman.” you giggle out as he opens the car door for you and lets you get settled before closing the door and jogging around to the driver’s side before getting in.

“Um, i-if you want, we could listen to your music? Don’t tell the kids though— they’ll be out for my neck.” Steve laughs. “Dustin especially.” He looks over at you and smiles.

“Oh, you— we don’t have to!” You rush out. “Your music will be just fine!”

‘Stop being so nervous!’ You shout at yourself in your head ‘It’s just Steve!’

“No, I insist, really.” Steve smiles again. “Bluetooth your favorite playlist, I’m sure it’s great, plus i’d love to hear what you listen to on a daily basis.

“How would you know? What if it’s all Taylor Swift? Or Harry Styles?” You laugh, turning in your seat to look at him as he starts the car and begins to drive off.

“Well, I guess that’s a risk I am willing to take with you.” He looks over at you and smiles when approaching the stop sign at the end of your street. “You’d be surprised at how much of her music I know, all thanks to Max and El.”

“Well in the wise words of Dean Winchester, ‘driver picks the music, shotgun shuts their cakehole’ therefore, you’re picking the music.”

Steve shook his head in laughter. “Guess we will be listening to nothing.” A moment of silence passes before Steve speaks again

“I think I'm going to go off on a whim here, okay?” He looks over at you. “I don’t want to go to that stupid party.” He admits, taking a left down a street to head towards Lover’s Lake.

You visibly relax, breathing out a sigh of relief. “Okay, great. I thought it was just me.” a somewhat nervous laugh bubbles from your chest. “I really don’t like parties.”

“It’s okay, really. I don’t like them anymore either.” He looks at you and smiles again. “We could uh, go out to the lake, maybe? For talking, not- not anything else.”

“Oh! S-sure!” Jumbled thoughts raced around your head. You knew why most of the town’s youth went to Lover’s Lake, it wasn’t that hard to figure out, but Steve Harrington taking you there to ‘just talk’ seemed highly unlikely… However, you decided to humor his spur of the moment plan change.

“Great!” Steve looked over at you and winked.

The drive to the lake was a quiet one, but not the awkward, suffocating type. The type of quiet that was comforting, that people could sit in for hours and not have any issues. Reaching down and playing with the hem of your dress as the passing houses turned into woods, where the asphalt turned into a dirt road leading off towards the lake. Steve parked in the middle of an open field, right in front of where the sun was setting over the water. He rolled down the windows in the car before turning it off and turning to face you.

“You know, you look beautiful.” Steve said to you, voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t mention it earlier when I should’ve.” He reaches up, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Y-you think?” You stutter and look down into your lap, a blush covering your cheeks.

“Oh it’s not that I think, it’s that I know that you’re beautiful.” Steve carefully lifts your chin with his hand. “I am so serious, sweetheart. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” His brown eyes bore into yours, flakes of amber and dark brown catch your attention as he leans closer to you and smiles.

Your breath catches in your throat as he leans in closer, the blush on your cheeks deepens. “You’re way too nice to me, Stevie.” You whisper out. “You gonna stare at me all night?” You giggle out, feeling a bit more confident.

“Only if you’ll let me.” He says, voice dripping with honey and a bit of truth. His free hand slowly makes its way to your knee as it gently rests there. “I know you, the you that lives here in Hawkins, but I want to know what you were like before you moved here.”

“Oh, still the same old me.” You speak slowly, the skin on your knee feeling about ten degrees warmer. “Still always collecting records and whatnot.” Smiling that Steve actually wants to get to know you. “I like reading too and I’m pretty decent at crocheting things!”

A boyish laugh bubbles past Steve’s lips. “You crochet?” His eyes hold a half impressed, half curious look. “What kind of things?”

“Blankets.” You murmur out sheepishly. “Like the lavender and cream colored one on Robin’s bed.”

“YOU made that? That’s the softest blanket I think I’ve ever touched.”

“O-oh, yeah I did. I had to learn how to do something while the military packed up my house and moved us here.”

“Military?” Steve looked shocked. “Who’s in the military?”

“Oh, my dad is! He’s stationed in Indianapolis, but my mom grew up here, so they bought her childhood home, and he comes home on the weekends.”

“That’s… interesting.” Steve says, rubbing absent minded circles on your skin, fiddling with his hair with his free hand before bringing it under his chin and resting it there, genuinely listening to every word you’re saying.

“It’s alright I guess. I was very lucky and only moved around a handful of times. Unfortunately, I missed my junior prom because we moved here.” You admit, your voice holding a saddened tone. “So I can’t wait for my senior one this year.”

“Didn’t get your romantic slow dance, did you sweetheart?”

“No Stevie, I didn’t.” You admit.

Steve stops rubbing circles on your knee, looking at you, cocking his head to the side.

“You serious?”

“As a heart attack, Harrington.”

Shaking his head and muttering to himself, Steve starts fumbling with his phone and car stereo, quickly scrolling through his music.

“Everything okay?” You ask, trying to lean forward a bit to look into Steve’s eyes.

“Hm? No, sweetheart, it’s not.”

Disappointment bubbled in your chest, a white hot feeling that you weren’t entirely used to. “Oh..”

“No, no, I didn’t mean it that way. We are going to get you your romantic slow dance. I just need to find the perfect song.” Steve says, placing his hand back onto your knee, still scrolling through his music. “Where is that playlist?” he mutters to himself.

“Aha!” he said after a moment or two, clicking the screen of his phone, then reaching forward and turning the dial to his radio to increase the volume.

“Steve, what exactly are we doing?” You ask, eyeing him down.

“Getting you that slow dance you missed out on.” He says, before getting out of the car and jogging to your side, opening the door and offering you his hand. “May not be super romantic but, it will be something special.”

You’re rendered speechless for a moment. Why would Steve Harrington offer to slow dance with you in the middle of a field? Surely Robin and Eddie were right, maybe he was different than all of the others.

In the back of Steve’s mind, all he could think about was Robin telling him how you weren’t like the girls their age. You were different and he just had to go out on a whim and see it for himself, and god was she right.

You take Steve’s hand and get out of the car, Steve the door closing behind you. He brings you right to the front of his car, in the glow of his headlights.

“Can I have this dance, sweetheart?” He asks, smiling at you as the opening chords of Etta James’ “My Dearest Darling” begin to fill the air.

All I need is someone like you, My Dearest Darling, please love me too

“Oh Stevie, this is such a classic.” You blush and grab his hand. “Who knew you’d be such a charmer.” You giggle, standing closer to him as you place a hand on his shoulder and he carefully places his free hand on the small of your back.

“Is this okay?” He asks.

“More than okay.” You whisper out as he pulls you impossibly close.

Ooh, My Dearest Darling, I offer you my heart.

His brown eyes bore into yours, both of you taking shallow breaths, swaying to the music. The sunset casting the perfect hue onto his face, making his freckles pop against his tanned skin.

“Sweetheart, I need to tell you something.” Steve whispers, slowing the tempo down a bit, but still staying in time with the music.

“Yes?” You ask, never breaking eye contact.

“I-” He stops, taking a deep breath. “Bare with me here.” He laughs nervously. “I am pretty much in love with you.” He takes another deep breath. “I am in love with you, actually. I have been, for months.”

Oh nothing, nothing, nothing in this world could keep us apart.

You stare up at the boy in front of you, heart beating wildly in your chest. You open your mouth to say something before he starts talking again

“You don’t have to say anything back. I-I just wanted to get my feel—”

You cut him off by bringing your fingers up to the nape of his neck, gently pulling him closer and bringing him down for a bruising kiss. His hands immediately grab at your waist and you grab onto his shirt with your free hand.

It was everything you hoped it would be. Steve’s soft lips captured yours, moving in time with your own, deepening the kiss. He wanted to frame this moment in a glass box forever, he wanted to keep every moment, every emotion, every feeling he had in his pocket to replay over and over again.

You pull back after a moment, Steve looked at you with wide eyes, before smiling at you. A wide, toothy grin

“I'm in love with you too, Steve.” You smile. “I think even before I admitted to myself, I think I knew.”

Steve pulls you back in for another kiss, bringing his hand up to cup your jaw. Seemingly out of nowhere, water droplets began falling from the sky, causing you to giggle into the kiss.

“Hope kissing in the rain is on your bucket list, Harrington.” You say after pulling away.

“Only if I can kiss you, sweetheart.”

“Always.”

— 🍓 — — 🍓 — — 🍓 —

Ahh! Thank you so much for reading! As always, reblogs and likes are always appreciated! First published Steve piece! 💖

#littlesubbyflower #steve harrington #lsfwrites #stranger things #littlesubbyflower: steve harrington #Modern!Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader