#idk abt this brush like ive been using it a lot but idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

meruz · 3 months

Text

another ask post

i mean i also read it because a friend whos rly into queer SFF fiction circles recced it but she did kinda lead with "the writer used to write hs fanfic...tasmyn..taz...?" to which i replied

of COURSE I read the locked tomb because i heard taz had written a book. of course. ill consume most any media made by a beloved homestuck bnf. thats also why i played undertale. and read like..snotgirl. and idk... watched the new dub of neon genesis evangelion.

if u made homestuck fanwork 10 years ago and havent even made it since chances are I still remember and I love you for it.

sdlkfhsg its funny you sensed that because that drawing did in fact start kinda more........ well, I'd be lying if I said my hands never wrought a drawing toeing over the pg-13 line LOL...

NOT to say i have a secret stash of porn or anything. in general im more interested in the implication of sexuality or mature themes over any explicit depiction. like everything i draw is so softcore itd almost feel silly to make a nsfw acc for anything.

but im not rly jumping to post anything on main either bc i get the sense i have a lot of kids in my social media following. it varies from site to site and fandom to fandom but the themes in my work often circle around childhood, coming of age etc and in general i like stories about kids so the fandoms i draw for have a lot of kids in them. even stuff like IT (stephen king) which is about kids but isn't necessarily for kids.. there were a lot of kids in that fandom lol.

actually thats why ive been censoring swears in comics lately because the tmnt fandom comes across to me as a little young...IDK I've had MULTIPLE people ask me what "sodomize" means because of the joke in this post and I'm like... I Cannot be the one to explain this to you. you have to look it up on your own klfsdhsdg like i wouldn't be doing this if i were doing a comic for mgs or even homestuck wherein the characters textually swear constantly LOL but sometimes u gotta change tacks depending on the faces u see in the crowd yknow.

i HAVE been thinking abt drawing nsfw of sunspot/richard rider/kobak from x-men red just because that comic seemed to be really asking for it. who knows.. if the need rly arises maybe my separate account policy will change.

its rly more a matter of the fact that i havent read/watched much of any other iterations... im sure id like most lol. I like most things related to my interests regardless of quality. i rly like the marvel ultimate alliance games for instance. sometimes seeing my fave guy is enough he doesnt have to be well written LOL. i dont exactly have a wealth of free time tho thats the real impediment.

i did watch the 2007 movie on new years eve and found it quite charming overall. and i have read about 30-40 issues between the mirage and idw comics. still feels like im barely scratching the surface but i liked em. i rly want to read all the sophie campbell stuff bc i think her work is interesting. jason aaron will be a mixed bag i think lmao. i say as the worlds biggest Wolverine and the X-Men (2011) fan.

hmm this is kinda hard bc i feel like i naturally draw very loose and the hard part for me is tightening it up. maybe some suggestions tho...

1) hand excercises. i think its easy to forget this when many artists sit in front of the computer all day but drawing is a physical activity u do with ur actual...bodys...muscles lol. if u feel urself tightening up it might help to strech (any google search for "artist hand excercises" should yield good results) or do a page of loose practice strokes like..big circles. long lines. scribbles. that kinda thing. whatever feels good for ur hand. this is also just good to do as a general warm up before u sit down for any drawing sesh.

2) draw further away from the canvas. as a general rule...when ur painting traditionally you do the big strokes with your whole arm outstreched and a long handled brush. and when you do the details its smaller wrist movements and a shorter handled brush. so it might help to take a step back or push back from ur chair a little.. or hold ur tablet a little further away. and hold your pen further away from the nib.

3) change mediums / brush types. some brushes and mediums are more suited to loose sketching and some more inclined towards detail work. so changing ur tool could help. also! i personally have this problem where sometimes if im using a brush i feel really familiar with the pressure to make a "good" "finished" "perfect" drawing is greater... if i want to force myself to loosen up ill switch to a tool i dont use as often so it feels like the pressure is off. a lot of times for me this is switching from digital to traditional. but sometimes its switching from a small pen to a big marker. or a smooth pen to a textured one. or a nice brush to a shitty dried up marker.

but also every body is different so i dont think these tips will work for everyone. u should listen to what ur body and mind tell u and how drawing feels to you

bro just sign up and set it up i dont think theres much to it... i dont rly think too much abt my itch.io store because its digital goods so u just upload the file and let it do its thing. no distribution work needed on ur part. youll notice i barely even advertise my itch unless i have smth new on there lol.. its easy. but good luck!!!

idk if im the best person to ask this im more a comic fan than i am a comic professional... a comic hobbist.

well. scott mcclouds understanding comics and making comics are good books on the craft. i think i had to buy them for a class in art school once.

other than that idk just keep at it. comics are really laborious i think for a lot of people the hardest part is sitting down and doing it.

i think a lot of people have a very instinctive understanding of how to read comics and what they look like so whatever you think seems like good way to tell the story you have in mind, its probably right. if u get stuck, study comics that have done something similar. most people in comics are relatively self taught and actually it can be problematic bc you can tell when a lot of comic artists are all copying the same like 5 old white guys LMAO. but on the flip side if you make sure to reference and study broadly your comics will almost assuredly feel unique.

sorry im responding to this anyways. this is just a really nice ask. i like when people reference my older work bc i feel like sometimes theyre subtly implying it wasnt very good LMAOOO. but its true! at least compared to the work i make now ^^ and the fact that im still making art is whats keeping me from being embarassed abt how much of my old art just floats around online lmao im never ashamed to be growing and learning. isnt that a nice thought <3

#ask #too much art talk in this one

41 notes · View notes

tiredstressedemotionalmess · 4 months

Note

hey this is kinda random but I was wondering if you had any advice about making patches? I��ve been wanting to make some of my own but idk what kind(s) of fabric & fabric paint would be good to use for it

YESSSS MY TIME HAS COME I LOVE GIVING PPL PATCH MAKING TIPS!!! im actually working one a zine abt this rn so ive totally got you covered

so pretty much any fabric you can get your hands on will work. i mostly use fabric from shirts ive cut into tank tops or crop tops, and denim from old jeans. both work just as well, but the tshirt fabric is thin and stretchy so i usually find it easier to paint less detailed designs on that. if i want a detailed design and im using tshirt material ill usually use a stencil bc it helps me keep the lines cleaner. using something like an embroidery hoop or some cardboard and safety pins to keep the fabric taught and hold it in place works wonders too

as for paint, i use a mix of fabric paint and regular acrylics. usually ill do a three base layers of white fabric paint, then go over top with a layer or so of whatever color acrylic bc the acrylics tend to be more vibrant and more opaque

using just straight up acrylic on fabric will work, but it may crack a bit and will probably fade in a wash a little. if ur just doing acrylic, try and limit the number of layers you do bc the thicker the paint is, the easier it will be to crack. personally, ive found acrylic tends to crack more on denim than on tshirt fabric- i think because the shirt fabric is thinner so the paint soaks all the way through instead of just sitting on top like with the denim. if im using shirt fabric and the design is simple ill usually just go right in with the acrylics and not even bother with the base layers bc of that

fabric paint is more flexible than acrylic bc its literally made for fabric. i use the tulip brand MATTE white paint, and im specifying matte here bc they have a fucking glossy version called "slick" that goes on soooooo fucking think when you paint it with a brush it just. its horrible it takes so many fucking layers to get any possible color the matte is so much better it only needs two or three to really pop

ANYWAYS- i use that most often bc my local craft store has it for cheap and like i said i literally only use the white stuff for base layers and shit. they have other colors but ive never tried them bc acrylic over the white works out just fine for me so. idk maybe using the colored fabric paint would save time in the long run- less layers and shit- but ive never tried to myself so who knows

you can make a pretty damn good fabric paint substitute yourself though too!! its like the middle ground between the store bought fabric paint and the acrylics in terms of flexibility. mix equal parts fabric softener with acrylic paint. ivr used this method a fee times and it works well. its definitely less cracky than regular acrylics but depending on the ratio it might take a few more layers and a bit longer to dry. its not as flexible as the fabric paint but its a bit more opaque so depending on how you want ur patches to look it might require less layers

uhhhh other things. stencil are my best friend when im trying to copy a specific logo or do a more complex design. i never fucking freehand letters- use chalk or a pen to get letter placement done first bc the grief of painting half a patch and realized the rest of the work doesnt fit is REAL. thrift stores have a lot of cool fabric with little designs and patters which i personally think are super fun to paint over and use as patches. if you have access to an iron ik some people like to heat set their patches by ironing them when theyre dry (ig it helps the paint stick to the fabric? ive done it a few times but im too lazy to commit to it regularly. might be good if ur just using acrylics tho). pretty much any fabric you have access to will work (hoodies, old socks, old bedsheets, ANYTHING) but knitted fabrics are hell to paint on and so id recommend avoiding those

thats everything i can think of off the top of my head!! sorry this turned into a whole fucking novel. i really like making patches and telling other people abt how i make patches :p

#asks #THANK YOU SM FOR ASKING ME AGAIN SORRY THIS TURNED OUT SO LONG I HOPE THIS WAS HELPFUL #i seriously love talking abt this sm god i need to finish that zine-#save #<bc im totally stealing parts of this for the zine later lmao #OH! and you should totally absolutely send me oics of whatever patches you make iyw :]

9 notes · View notes

forecast0ctopus · 1 year

Note

i loveee ur art its sooo expressive and it has such a 90s feel to it.. if i may ask, how do u pick ur colours? do u have a specific colour pallete u adhere to? thanks!

thanks so much :DDD im curious what might make it feel 90s 🤔 thats so interesting

anyways stuff abt coloring below

honestly i kinda just fuck around with color, technically i somewhat understand color theory but despite that im bad at choosing the right colors straight from the color wheel so a lot of times i just hsb adjust things until theyre right

ive got two different ways i color things currently:

softish shading with a marker brush in greyscale, applying too many color adjustment layers, and then coloring a little on top of the greyscale to make things not monochrome. usually i color on top of a clipping mask bc its a lot easier, which i did in the ace attorney one but not in the merlin one for ?? no reason i guess i just didnt think abt it lmao

the other way is i decide what color i wanna cast the whole drawing in and i make that the base clipping mask layer (which ive been making like. neon green a lot lately lmao) and then i block in color on top of that, and shadow color on top of that. the cybersix ones a great representation of what im doing there but its a little chaotic since all of the sketches were meant to be cropped oops. the cowboy danny phantom ones a lot cleaner of an example haha

i really like doing the second method because it also works great with lineless and also i really like comparative colors? i know theres a better phrase for it but like. when one color looks like a different color when its put in a different colored space. like when im making things green, id color blue things in the scene green and red things in the scene a muddy orangey color. or when i was really into yellow id make the blues purple. idk usually the “blue” in the scene is first color i like to figure out im not sure if its because its my favorite color or if its because i love drawing jeans but thats just how it goes lmao

oh also putting things on a or neutral bg helps to pick colors a lot easier than keeping the default white bg, i always turn it off and leave it transparent until im finished lmao. i use procreate light mode so its still rather light but not too bad

i dont really have any palettes that i intentionally adhere to, no, but i do get kind of stuck using the same colors for a few months before moving to something different. rn im very stuck on green and need to accept that not everything needs to be the grossest greens ever and ive been stuck on it for about six months? in the past i was really stuck on yellow haha

#coloring method is fuck around and find out #ask #anon #very surprised abt all these questions abt how i do things recently #not in a bad way #its just interesting #how i draw

46 notes · View notes

aropride · 10 months

Text

oh my god . okay i havent complained abt it in a while but since december 2021 when i got covid for the first* time (*you’ll see) ive been getting dizzy/lightheaded a lot, have random coughing fits, am even more sensitive to heat (i cant breathe in hot cars Like i start choking which was already a thing bc asthma but its worse now), and have frequently almost passed out after walking around for too long or just after standing up. (idk how many times ive actually passed out bc i cant remember really but its happened at least once). at first i chalked it up to Being Out Of Exercize and then i was like wait this isnt normal. and i wasnt eating well at the time and brushed it off as that but it continued even after i started eating somewhat better (altho it was a little less bad)

anyway eventually i was like yeah i probably have long covid or smth (also have pots symptoms guessing caused by covid) but i dont have a doctor (& dont know how to get one & dont have money & dont have transportation) so i havent been officially tested for anything

but the one thing that kept me from being like yes this is definitely bc of covid is in my senior year of highschool (started in sept 2020) (a year i have very few memories from so hard to compare symptoms) i remembered always being super out of breath + dizzy + lightheaded after walking up the stairs to my classes on the second floor. like id have to stand there for a second and breathe n shit and my friend was like “thats not good u should tell ur doctor” . but yeah i was like well maybe its just asthma and im exaggerating and its always been like this

WELL. i just remembered. in february 2020 i had this really awful cold. oone of the worst id ever had. coughing my fucking lungs up, couldnt breathe well, everytthing tasted weird. it lasted abt 2 weeks. You can see where this is goingg. i literally remember my mom saying like “wouldnt it be fucked up if tbat awful cold u had a couple months ago was covid” during like may2020.

and EARLY 2020 IS WHEN MY SYMPTOMS STARTED. and they got worse for a couple months and then stayed the same and i guess i got used to it UNTIL. i got covid in dec2021.

(ID: the “newsflash asshole” meme but the guy speaking has been edited over with a stick figure wearing a mask with wide eyes. the caption reads “newsflash asshole! it’s been long covid the entire goddamn time!” end ID)

#text #IM GONNA LOSE IT .#need to add ‘first covid infection’ to my List Of Big Things I Forgot About #health tag #<- new tag just dropped bc i know im gonna forget this revelation in like a week

9 notes · View notes

haloburns · 1 year

Text

yknow. i dont talk abt being disabled a lot on here past making jokes but like

i was gointhrough emails on my uni account and deleting a lot of things, and watching my condition raipdly get worse in spring of 2021 through those was surrel. like i remember most of it because of constant recounting to the doctor's (the amount of doctor's messages too is wild), but it's also so weird for me to read an email to my Chinese lang prof telling her I couldn't participate in class that day because brain fog was so bad even after sleeping all fucking day.

like, in my mind, i went from a normal able bodied person to pretty severely disabled over the course of two years. i told my other disabled friends i hurt all the time and theyre like "well how long has this been going on" and i was like "oh two years, but im thinking maybe more. but i dont have chronic pain, it just Happens To Me" and this was BEFORE i had a chronic fatigue crash that cemented CFS in my body as a real and present thing. now i have to contend with it every day, along with the complications its brings.

now, i've been dealing with chronic pain for. an inordinate amount of years now. i've been disabled MUCH longer than i've been aware. the further back i think, the more i realize i've hurt and i either didnt realize that wasnt normal or i told people and they brushed me off.

my knees hyperextend. they have my whole life. (i had to go back and find picture evidence of this because my mom didnt remember) this causes a lot of pain on my feet, and has at least since middle school. i didnt like playing outside bc it hurt and was exhausting, but everyone assumed it was bc i was a bookworm and fat. i remember sitting next to the older family friend i was at the zoo with because both of our feet hurt from walking. i was 10. she was 60.

and i just wonder... how much did my doctor not notice??? i went through precocious puberty and she was never concerned. i started puberty at 7, and got my first period at 9. i havent grown since age 11. my tits are massive for my height bc THEY didnt stop growing until i was 21. she never mentioned my knees bending back, but she did mention my back/posture being a little weird (not weird enough to FIX apparently. ps i have a small unnatural curve of my spine, not sure if its scoliosis or not). my mom constantly feels guilty bc no one noticed, but tbf i never brought it up. i never thought i was hyperflexible/double jointed but it turns out i AM which means i was just a dumbass adhd kid who assumed everyone was like that.

and like. my joints are causing more and more problems. i started having more problems after my surgery as a result of the stress on my body, who knows what's gonna happen now that ive had covid??

i hyperextended my middle finger in my sleep and now it hurts to use. my right hip hyperextends and possibly subluxes on the regular and i cant fix it. my shoulders are WAY more mobile than they used to be, and i can force my left shoulder out of its socket to some degree while laying on it. the tips of my fingers bend super far down and my thumb apparently "looks like rubber" bc of how far i can bend/wiggle it.

idk, i had a point but i lost it. being disabled is weird and surreal for me, and most days i dont mind bc it makes me the funniest person in any room, but some days it REALLY fucking sucks

#ecto speaks #my posts #disabled talk #disability talk

6 notes · View notes

waywardsalt · 1 year

Text

ok since tears of the kingdom is coming out like. insanely soon i figured i’ll just dump how i’ve been feeling abt it here. i wont tag for them and i dont intend to share any but because i have been actively seeking out spoilers i will vaguely reference them here so… idk really long musings on this game and my feelings abt it

(im just writing this out mostly for myself since i really kind of just. want to really figure out how i feel about this)

i… am not excited for totk?

i’ve figured out a bit ago that my severely waning interest in botw and general anxiety and discontent surrounding totk is just that… these games arent for me. i dont enjoy open world games with half a million things for you to do like it’s basically a sandbox. i struggle to really enjoy singleplayer minecraft. the space stage in spore gives me genuine anxiety, both when i played it as a kid and again when i reached it as an adult.

botw and totk are not games for me, and that’s cool. i’ve figured that out.

so why am i getting so damn anxious about this new game?

i am getting totk- not entirely of my own volition, i live with someone who is very genuinely excited for it, so it’s pre-ordered digitally on our switch. i am going to play it and complete it at least once.

the gameplay and world of botw never really got to me, and even what snippets of gameplay i see for totk dont really entice me. it just makes me anxious to think about the sheer amount of new stuff i’ll be dropped in the middle of and how i really dont care about this version of link or zelda or anyone else in botw’s hyrule

and some of the story spoiler stuff and general direction this game is going in has me just worried that the zelda series is moving away from what it used to be into an entirely new direction, that being a direction that it seems like i wont enjoy as much as everyone else seems to

so then i guess my main worry outside of totk is that i just end up struggling to really feel connected to the rest of the community about this? being a contrarian is fun until everyone is enjoying something you for some reason can’t get yourself to

i dont have a lot of hope in the story of totk to harken back to… ANYTHING of worth that past games have built up and made to be so important and interesting. hype is a dangerous thing for a not-yet-released game, and while i think the insane amount of speculation and theories and hype around totk will cause a lot of people to be disappointed with the final story, i dunno if i really wouldve liked it even if the story actually piqued my interest

maybe totk’s gameplay will really hook me. maybe i’ll enjoy the massive open world and gmod-ass gimmicks. but what ive seen of the story makes me less interested and the snippets of gameplay i see just make me remember how bored i now am with botw

at the end of the day this is just a video game with tags on this site i can blacklist and videos i can ignore and lore i can brush aside because at this point loz canon is a suggestion more than anything

i just cant shake the discomfort of once again being an outlier as everyone i see loses their mind about this new game while i just feel overwhelmed by it. i have played botw for a long time and have long since worn it out. i played age of calamity to completion and have not touched it or cared for it beyond the music since. i am not excited about totk and i feel like i am in the wrong due to my opinion

#salty talks #kinda personal? just angsting abt totk and being a lil negative abt it #at this point im not expecting it to blow me away. i no longer have fun playing botw. i do not care for the story or characters #this if anything is to soothe my nerves and is for the sake of my own wellbeing to articulate how i feel about this #it is cool to like. put your feelings into words. this is a lot more eloquent than ‘i miss linebeck’#it feels kinda selfish to bitch abt a game thats not out yet and complain abt it not seeming enjoyable to me #but it looks like a genuinely good game. but its not for me. and thats what im ruminating on here #like i love linear stories games that limit you and fun little gimmicks and characters with complex arcs and all that #i played a little bit of skyward sword earlier and was finishing up the cistern dungeon and was so delighted to see the main statue lowered #i love the dungeons with gimmicks that flip everything around and force you to really think abour your next move #im excited to reach the water temple in oot again to swim around and tinker with the water level #i cant wait to finish oot and move onto mm and its wonderful gameplay and areas #id love to revisit albw and get back to playing ph (and maybe finishing triforce heroes idk abt that one i just want the linebeck outfit)#i played botw for like ten minutes a few weeks ago and then put it away without a second thought #so. if anyone wanted to know how i feel abt totk. its a bit alienating #i might blacklist every variation of ze/ink tbh. sayonara you weeaboo shits and your bland fucking milquetoast ship thats kinda irritating #i may delete this bc it errs on the side of being too personal but i really just need to write this stuff downh #anyways. going back to writing my thing abt my oc n linebeck hanging out and being gay

4 notes · View notes

chaudharis · 2 years

Text

hey ! would YOU like to know more abt him? awesome because im gonna dump my design notes and lore notes for him here for funsies! i just wanted to make an info post for him! thank you for reading if you do!

its a bit of a long one btw, so apologies for thwt. i am very much open to ideas and suggestions for developing this little. interpretation? au? whatever you might call this. feel free to play around with him as u like hes not my oc :^] just a fun idea

DESIGN NOTES:

i want to make it clear most of the design stuff is bc i thought it was cool. then i bullshit my reasoning behind it. remember this.

i also dont know how exactly to organize this so smth more lore related might be in the design section and vise versa. i dont care enough to make this better

also design is still very subject to change because i enjoy constantly fiddling with things. fun! might update if its different enough.

uses mostly reds/purples to directly complement athetos's greens and blues. trace takes comfort in this, for the most part.

just a fun idea but i rhink its neat to have traces Not Human-ness be biological, to contrast with indras being entirely technological/robotic. adds to their parallels. (and both of them being physical at all is a parallel to hammond being fucking dead /j)

wonder why his mouth has those faint marks at the corners? because it can do this now!

why you might ask? i dont know. ask someone else. i thiught it was cool. the orange line on #3 is supposed to indicate where his mouth normally wouldve ended. so he has a wider mouth technically!

hes much more movement based now! since this also acts as a fun idea for what if in a future av game(s) we got gameplay that was even more abt the movement. so hes pretty good at parkour now. specifically climbing. ive been imagining he moves a lot like u do in celeste, except probably more stamina and faster climbing. less focus on dashing. but he can air dash too!

he has his gun i promise he has the gun i just dont like drawing it it sucks to draw

yea so he is covered in carapace, since ive had to scrap that with a different chatacter (if you know, you know) i get to put it on the same character but in a different direction. i can do whatever i want forever.

size comparison over his weird. tentacle things idk what ud call them exactly. they got bigger because i can do anything. also bc when i originally drew them i didnt look up a ref (i rarely use refs for charas and prefer to go off of memory unless i need to) and so i was like ok so thwyre big right? right. well turns out theyre not. but guess what. now they are. it is so awesome for him

for funsies i think trace can put stupid shit in his hair. its a tangled mess stuff will very easily stay in there. he hasnt brushed it in years man. he always forgets what he puts in there btw so its always a surprise for him

oh also his labcoat also is Different but i cant figure out what hed have that isnt already in av1. so imagine he does smth new WOW WOW SO COOL !

LORE NOTES:

this whole hashtag Look is either from the original bioflux mutation getting worse or a few different ones. i havent decided which one i wanna go with. either way this is a gradual change. it will get worse!

see i dont have much for What hes doing because i dont have any ideas for what the rusalki are doing now so thats very much up in the air. all i have rn is that hes helping them somehow. not of his own choice really.

has a very. Not Great relationship with the rusalki. hes incredibly bitter about his situation (lack of any real control) and so. well they arent besties. hes a lot more snarky and rude to them. which is fair i think how would you feel in a situation like that huh. not so great huh.

his best friend is oracca bc shes the only person who hasnt lied to him and has only been helpful and he loves to chill with her. she never speaks or does much of anything but thats fine with trace, he doesnt mind. likes to do the rubber duck thing with her (says thing out loud to pin point whats wrong with whatever hes working on). she also doesnt mind id like to think

hes. a little more aggressive but as a defense mechanism. hes in hostile territory all the time and under incredible stress all the time, can you blame him realky? stress can make people aggressive, it turns out. crazy.

also with this, i say hes more aggressive but hes just more all bark no bite. hes like this

but if you take like, anothwr step closer hes like this

see. hes still kind of a weenie dw. i understand

he really wants to be kinder again. but hes not in a situation where he can. this kills him

also! heavy unreality issues. this is what happens when you spend months if not years thinking ur living ur life as usual until it gets revealed actually you were in a dream simulation the whole time. unrelated but i think he hates the movie inception.

the unreality is still a massive issue but he copes with it by after so long just going "ok well ill just assume Everything is a dream no matter what because the opposite would be horrifying and i have no evidence that disproves this. but i can act like i dont think this on the off chance rhat it is real. but i know its not"

doesnt come up much at all because hes not ever around someone New but he is pretty self conscious about how he is now. i think hes also a very touch swnsory person so he develops lots of touch related tics. like when nervous he starts to pick at himself, runs hands through hair a lot, etc etc. very touchy. with the parts hes most self conscious abt.

massive identity issues, especially because of his distinct lack of humanity. how can he really be trace anymore if hes changed so much, etc etc. those questions. he can feel his connection to The Trace Identity sorta fading as he becomes his own kinda guy away from this but it fucking sucks for him. because if hes not trace then what is he. who is he. if you tell him athetos hed curl up and cry

speaking of curling up and crying, thats what hes kinda doing a lot internally. he really wants to go home man and for real this time he wont want to go back to sudra this time he promises. but also if he does go back he will be 100% convinced that isnt real. which is fair

if you ask him how long hes been there he'll tell you "a few months, i think." this is not true, he has been there for years doing somethinh, couldnt tell ya what tho!

Generally Not Doing Too Great On Many Levels But Hes Dealing With It

ok thats abt all i can think of atm? ill update this if needed. otherwise hi if you read this ur very kind and i appreciate that. it feels nice when people read my stuff. makes me feel good :^] i hope you feel good today too. today is a good day

#txt #trace #beast mode #my art #wheeeeee !!! wheeeeee

22 notes · View notes

schzunabe · 1 year

Text

big bundle of oc thoughts pray emoji

srry. thinking abt ls calling up void crying so hard he can barely talk or breathe. void showing up and he has to take a small approach when he does arrive to check up on him because he can tell ls is Petrified at him showing up. ls is too deep in his head to realize its actually his bf instead of some Clone of him with malicious intent and needs reassurance from void to make sure hes like.. Actually safe. starting by holding ls hand and giving him lots of room to move around and moving farther up his arm and Will Back Off if ls wanted him to. but if he didnt! hed end up hugging ls and giving him gentle kissies to ease him back into touch. LS typing in his phone to ask him to check the rest of the place for anyonw that may be hiding. ALSO not relevant to that at all but loid high kissies. ls approaches ven one day like Hey do you think you can get me something? Ive been super stressed recently and shes like Yeah i gotchu! and she gives him an edible or two and he takes one and it sets in over the next few hours and by the time hes at voids place he is Stoned he can barely see straight. void giving him so many kissies but then ls gently pushes his face away bc Every little touch feels Huge but also so small at the same time. he gets overwhelmed by the kissies a little quick but void does not mind he can and WILL respect his boyfees boundaries. them talking and ls Trailing off mid sentence because he completely forgot what he said just a split second ago. him and void laying together and tryig to watch shows and they both chuckle at how ls is trying So Hard to see straight. BUT void will not laugh at him if he starts getting #scared he will then try his best to be comforting. i also think loid sloppy makeout could be sooooo real( EXTRA SLOPPY SINCE LS IS HIGH OFF HIS ASS ). idk i just think theyd have fun ls would feel super nice throughout( if he needed to walk anywhere hed get void to help him bc he does Not trust himself to walk on his own. he has horrific balance usually like he will go Plummeting to the side out of nowhere ). i think hed chuckle about it too bc hes not in any danger of getting hurt so hes moreso just giggling abt how he can hardly keep his eyes still. him and his Infectious giggles+snorts seep into void and now theyre both chuckling and bouncing off of eachptjer and GRAARAARARRARAA they have so much fun. end it by simply laying together and probably dozing off (on ls part. he is so eepy all the time).

another thought i had was umm. ls can click his tongue really really loud and i had the idea of 1. void using it for a basic yes/no answer(if he is unaware that its a vessian phrase) (void vc Hey, do that clicky thing if you DONT want me to come in.) 2. him accidentally saying a full phrase in spiple+veevees language. like he clicks a few times just for fun and he actually ended up saying the vessian equivalent of a phrase of reassurance or Yes(its ok! or something along that). seeing spiple and veevee turn to him with strange looks of both Understanding and BEWILDERED CONFUSION(as to how he knows that phrase) and when they explain (bc he was Terrified when they turned their heads so fast in his dirección) what he just said hed get really giddy(he feels super smart) bc he didnt expect to say something In Their Language. oh fuuuck void knowing some vessian lang and using that 3-click reassurance when ls cant speak and Understanding what he says. spippy teaching him more click-only phrases perhaps(bc ls just . Doesnt have the anatomy for the trills. vaguely gestures i have my own idea of vessian anatomy in my mind.) oughhhh another way of veevee showing affection by putting their neck around yours or ontop of your head and doing a gentle trill. imagining how that would feel garararrurururururu... also never forget veevee sensitive gills. i think they try to hide how bad it can startle them sometimes(if you brushed your hand against them or gave them a surprise kissy). OH YEAH veevee is a hashtag drugs fan too. i think People Drugs would affect them in negative ways so they have their ownfrom their own planet. they get very loopy and kind of dazed? a lot more publically affectionate too( they usually prefer to smother osiris in kissys and head bumps and trills on their own time instead of where Everybody can see). theyd also have a constant gentle smirk on their face they genuinely cannot help it then. oh fuuuuck them leaning In to gill kissies. youd start to hear a gentle trill because they are Loving it.( they like them w permission Usually but the mushrooms from their planet affect sensation and like. vaguely gestures hard to word the mental images are vivid for me. ) a bit more sloppy walking(they have their tail for balance though!) and you can see the frills on their tail Fluctuating with how they may be "standing up". they usually make a Conscious effort to keep those frills up 1 out of pride. they looove how their frillslook i think they deserve to put (perhaps bioluminescent?) piercings in them sometimes for an extra glow or like. Pizazz. Idk. 2 to seem like.. Bigger? theyre big on their own(6 ft. no less) but they like rhe idea of people being a little intimidated of them(esp since they arent at home anymore theyre on a Ship in Space with new people entirely and they dont quite have the reputation that they did at home)

also a thought abt ls i think he is immobile for a few seconds after he stretches. he just gets so lightheaded and hit with a Huge wave of exhaustion he has to actively recover from it. he also has bad knees and hips and he cant really run for long periods of time(unlike venus she is Super in-shape compared to him. she has big strong arms that umm he wishes she would hold him with.) bc well One his legs give out entirely. TWO his throat can and will start closing up. i think it makes him freak out Super fucking bad when it happens but thankfully being on a high budget ship in space you dont really need to run that much if at all(although recommended to work out to keep your muscle mass to a healthy amount but hes mentally ill he never has the motivation for any of that so ven hypes him up and pushes him to do it out of necessity. shed hate for him to get the opportunity to go on a planet but his muscles+bones arent. Integrous? enough? to support him). speaking of breathing if someone lays on him while hes on his back he will struggle SO BAD to breathe his lungs and chest fucking SUCK!!!! i think he also has rly stiff joints and can never crack his back or neck or anything(can only do his shoulder Consistently). he also gets horrific phantom pains ever since he lost his left arm to cancer. ven deciding to come to his place and sit with him while he Writhes and offer some support(as best she can shes not all that good with words. Also on her own accord he would hate to waste her time but shes like No no man its fine i promise u. ion mind sittin with you for a bit.) i think also if he lays on his side for too long his hip gets Excruciating pain so thatsa reaosn why he lays on his back so much. OH YEAH HIS BACK i think it aches . very often. especially when he sits down? he also has SCOLIOSIS so thats not fun. i think hes a little conscious of like.. he has kind of a hump. another reason why he avoids looking in mirrors. theres a looottt of things he doesnt like about himself sometimes he feels like an Amalgamation of parts used to make a human body. HOWEVER. i think lovey-dovey spinoff of main void au void should praise Every little bit of him so the next times hes looking in the mirror he feels just a Little less shit about himself. appreciates his curves a little more and his flaws and that hes no less worthy for having them. ofc it doesnt fix his Depersonalization and just feeling like hes separated from his body but he can still start to simply appreciate it w some pushes from his partners and his friends(mostly ven). SPEAKING of eating actually i think LS has issues with eating regularly( he genuinely thinks he doesnt deserve it ) and void wouldnt jab at him for eating so little but instead reassure him that Hey just let me know if you wanna go out somewhere, i got all the money in the world babe i can treat u to anything<3 and his heart would melt at that. However he has a hard time straight up Asking for things so he ends up bumping his head against voids shoulder and looking around while struggling to say " Can We Go To That Fancy Restaurant Again I Liked The Steak ". bitsy is the more emotionally intelligent one of the voiditsybitsy trio so she would be the best at picking up on ls subtle little signs. so he does the thing he did to void To Bitsy so she guesses like. You hungry? and her heart kind of skips a beat seeing him light up and nod because it is So cute. pros of being as tall as itsybitsy include looking down at your boyfriend and seeing how cute he is and the glimmer in his eye and and and* i get shot dead *. speaking of i think ls LOOOOVES bitsys voice. how it rumbles and how its so deep and how she calls him such a sweet thing. How she says ' good morning, baby.' followed by a slow kiss on the forehead. How she holds him so close and he can Feel her voice in his bones he ffFFFUCKING LOVES IT!!!! he loves voids voice too and how well he can hold a note. sounding so graceful and pretty even when theyre laying on their sides in a hotel bed near voids next performance venue(IMAGINING VOID SINGING HIM TO SLEEP).every word coming out of his mouth so smoothly. HED PROBABLY WRITE A POEM ABT IT TO BE HONEST.. hed also love when void decreases his mass so he gets like No joint pain. also startles him at how easily he can move up and how its kind of hard to go Crashing into a wall. also his relationship w the apodo " Elsie ". i think his ex used to call him that so theres kind of some Negative connotation until ven comes up w it and starts calling him that regularly so he then starts to associate it with Venus one of the loves of his life instead of the TOTAL CRINGE his ex was. he forgets abt his ex almost entirely with the nickname Elsie especially when void+itsy+bitsy start calling him by it and when they call it out with such Love in their tones. when will bitsy call him elsie-baby for the first time while theyre laying together and he Melts. when will ls cry because he feels so loved. THE SAME FOR VEEVEE xeyre not used to genuine loving relationships where they arent taken advantage of and expected to sit and be pretty but iurrororougiguhugu when they start Officially dating osiris( i think they had a good few months time of them just being very intimate and close before they both were like. Oh. Are we together now. before making it Official official) they are still accepting how osiris is completely genuine and she just loves them so so much and they should do the equivalent of crying over it( i dont think vessians can straight up cry but they can do everything else associated w it ). cuddling w osiris one day and it sinks in just how good they have it now and now theyre Clutching onto osiris and kind of whimpering. its a happy 'cry' i prommy. Oh yeah and them getting to visit their home planet again. them getting fucking PISSED at other vessians for giving nasty looks at spiples appearance. anyone who made comments abt it shut the fuck up REAAAL fast when v- starts yelling them down for it. perhaps jabbing at them like You should have a look at your-fucking-SELF before you even CONSIDER ragging on my dear friend here. Just bcuz veevees been gone a while i dont think theyre any less like.. Respected? than before. the vessian theyd yelled at definitely gets a little shunned by their friends for a while after. they also find themself chatting up other vessians ( a lot less Condescendingly too) that theyd usually avoid for being 'Unattractive' since beauty standards were Heavily ingrained in them a few years back. The growth is fucking crazy.

OH YRAH and v-enus FIGHTS. i think theyd be snippy with eachother early on before v- actually gets good at seeing other people on the same level as theirs. theyd probably give her nasty looks bc shes so unapologetically Herself. shes loud and rambunctious and rough and they dont Like that. theyd make sure she knows it too and Usually ven takes it pretty well. but when veevee starts jabbig At Her or How She Acts i think thats when it can start with her Shoving v- out of her way. v- then is like DID SHE JUST DO THAT? bc they hold themself Far above her and for her to have the audacity to do that? UNHEARD OF! that results in a Swat from v-( WHO HAS VERY SHARP CLAWS) then venus lets out a GRAOW FUCK! and thats when. A full on fight starts. they get broken up sooner or later but it gets nasty anddd now their perceptions of eachother are Tarnished. not forever but for a Good long while. hissing things abt one another under their breath and only holding back on full on arguments if their friends were in the same room. example osiris+veevee+spiple+ven. imagining them all on the couch and v-enus are doing passive middle fingers at eachother every once in a while but not sparking a full on fight. over the next few years i think veevee gets their nose a little broken and they get the Terror of having thought that they killed venus(THEYRE STILL VERY ELECTRIC) but really she just blacked out for a moment. v- wants to kick her ass and come out on top but good god theyd never want to Kill her. theyre Horrified of killing people especially having seen it first hand back at home w/ the Ever deadly tridacts. electrocuting venus and watching her instantly fall to the floor without her getting up righy after and staring blankly into the ceiling their heart would Drop. any rage they had before is completely gone and now theyre on their knees shaking ven trying to get her to wake up but she Wont( theyre too panicked to check for a pulse but trust me shes alive ) and theyd start choking up and the frills on their tail would Drop and and andnandnnand. Until ven groans and shes blinking the bright ass lights out of her face and rolling over confused on what was just happening. It doesnt help that when she turns over to veevee kneeled beside her seemingly Frozen with terror shes like. Hhuh? and veevee goes on this Tirade like OH MY GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING DEAD! dont you EVER do that shit to me again do you HEAR ME? and ven who just woke up from crashing on the ground and her heart feels soo heavy is so confused cus everythings still a little muffled and her teeth feel weird and shes being Yelled at and barely remembers the fight they were in before. i think v- would actually help her up but the second she teases them about it theyd let her go bc they are So upset about thinking they murdered her. osiris would have limited sympathy hearing abt it bc she Would explain to them that. Veevee i love you with my whole heart and more. But that was kind of your fault. and theyd only be mildly mad about it until theyre like. Okay. Yeah. Youre right. and groan while rubbing their face because they Need to say sorry to ven about it<- emphasized by osiris. ven wouldnt accept their apology because Holy Fuck That Could Have Been So Much Worse but she appreciates them doing it at all. more years go by and (in main void capture au) i think theyd fight less over stupid things because the ships radar has been detecting some. Weird things trailing behind it. Sort of like heat-seeking missiles. and they dont quite have the time to fight over petty diferencias when theres something This Strange going on they Need to be working together. which is perfect timing wise because when the accretions finally manage to catch up w/ the ship and break void out ( venus spiple and LS and veevee were all on an external ship a safe distance away from the main one doing maintenance ) osiris is Killed in the process and i think venus would be a good comfort when theyre coping. their heart would beBroken. their chest would Sink seeing the ship get ripped apart and knowing shes in there and there being No goddamn way she survived. theyd start banging at the glass screaming and wailing because one of the few genuine loves in their life is Gone and this time it wasnt a breakup shes dead. i think theyd be inconsolable for a month their mental+physical health would Plummet. spiple and ven are there for them too but they Arent Her. i think they deserve to scream and Shriek about having lost her. when they think about why it happened for a moment theyd regret having helped void be saved at All. keeping the secrets of why venus took so long in the dyson sphere under wraps. All of it they regret so horribly theyd be tempted to give up all of the info they have about void to assist in his Recapture but they wouldnt because i think theyd be a little aware of how emotionally compromised they are and ven being Very impulsive can tell that they would do it out of impulse( also being Horrifically traumatized but you know). also going back i think v-enus would also fight over them tormenting LS. back then theyre unaware of how emotionally repressed they are and they subconsciously take it out Mostly on him because hes shy hes vulnerable hed Never stand up for himself. which is why ven does it for him! they could be berating him to the point of tears and him agreeing w everything theyre saying Just So They Go Away but god forbid venus shows up. seeing how upset he is and how hes basically backed into a corner shrinking into himself crying harder and harder the more they go on she would be fucking FURIOUS i think shed shove them REAL hard to give him space to retreat so she can give them a piece of her Fucking mind. ls walking out feeling awful 1 because v- cornered him and yelled at him 2 venus standing up for him. he feels like Such a burden for her needing to stand up for him (despite it being completely on her own volition. shed def talk to him afterwards though like You cant let em talk you down like that man!!!!!) i think ven is a lot physically stronger than veevee(never really felt the need to workout) so theyd back off of him for a while because theyd def walk away with some Nasty bruises a few hours later bc ven is a HARD hitter.

#my ocs #others ocs #vs void

4 notes · View notes

simonstamenovic · 11 months

Text

fate summary ummm bc i havent been doing these and i rely on brush too often

ummm okay. im really not like entirely. ill do my best. we cut in this session w mo, w magic enhancement for drawing from evelyn, drawing the uhhh bike (no wheels) type vehicle he saw

theres a roll (i do it bc its for like, mythic stuff. everyone else is too slow and afraid so ive done most of them. idk if it was a joke but inno said im banned from rolling next session bc i roll 1 or 10) someone from hell (wrench, one of the older people so a defacto "leader" of sorts, is the person you go to for the overseeing of most of the maintenance and such in hell) ended up being there, he aggressively asked what i was doing there, i asked what He was doing there. he said that he saw me and i answered that he was here before he knew i was. in general a lot of talking in circles.

jack pulled out a gun to convince wrench to leave. it worked so he did, though it was shaky

i spent a lot of my time trying to figure out the bike thing mo drew. 50+ drawings in figured it out (rolled an exceptional success) and discovered that its modular, and that weapons can be added. i woke everyone but evelyn up by shouting abt the discovery. they talked abt gangs using it but i (and bug) think thats stupid and thinking too small

close to docking theres a storm that comes out of nowhere, everyone else stays inside but i dont bc well. its fun bug has mostly been underground forever. anyway its bad. in the distance theres another boat that is being barraged by waves r in a distinctly unnatural way. i go to tell the captain, theres several people there and i end up basically hearing from the captain that the sea will do what it wants, which confirms bugs suspicions

i watch as the ship is torn in two, two waves coming down perhaps like jaws or tentacles to rip it apart. people dive off the boat however there are no survivors.

despite information from inno that implies that something controlled it (well. that is was unnatural, but he said something that made me think that it was an act of a person) bug is fascinated and becoming mildly spiritual, convinced that there is some deity or being involved

i chuck a music/puzzle box into the ocean as an offering. we arrive to our destination only to find it much less nice than was advertised. thats it.

#outgoing transmission #fate posting

0 notes

16woodsequ · 2 years

Note

sorry if this is a lot

adults always talk abt teenagers and their teenage years as wild and regretful, and, while im not like that, (ive always been called "wise" and "old soul" for context, im just a deep thinker i guess) someone mentioned that i talk more like a teenager now which felt sorta condescending and insulting though she then told me that isn't a bad thing

i think it's becaus emy anxiety is starting to go down so i use more slang and less restraint in sarcastic responses but isn't being "like a teenager" doesn't that have a sort of ignroing all rules and being a menace to society connotations?

i mean, i dunno. the thing i said was "whatever" so doesnt that make me a bratty mallgoing idk idk idk it feels like these are just stereotypes and they are obviously but i cant get it out of my head shouldnt i want to be old?

i know this is on anon but u can probably guess which of ur readers this is, ha. im just worried abt anonymity of strangers ig.

Hi! Glad you reached out.

I feel your frustration. I think teenager stereotypes can actually be super harmful. For one, the 'depressed, reclusive teenager' trope can often be used to brush off signs of mental illness, and the 'troublemaker teen' trope gives all teenagers a bad reputation even if they aren't doing anything wrong in the moment.

Did you know the idea of a teenager really didn't start growing until the 50s? When suburban culture began growing and teenagers began to have the time and space to pursue their own interests. That is when catering towards teenagers really took off and we began to recognise the developmental progress teens go through.

Anyway, history lesson aside, ever since the idea of the teenager was born, common ideas of teenage behaviour have lived on.

I can still remember being around 11, and my mom talking/ranting to me about teenagers and I told her "when I'm a teenager I'm never going to act like that." She laughed and told me that in a few years I'd see I was wrong.

Well jokes on her but I never got into partying or going out. I didn't even have very many behaviour problems because I was repressing all my feelings and stressed about my future.

In that way I was also 'mature' or 'wise beyond my years'. Now that I've got my own place I've found I spend more time with friends in a way that some might view as stereotypically teenagery, but really I'm just comfortable and having fun.

As for your situation, it seems to be the same. You're more comfortable speaking up. That doesn't mean you're 'talking like a teenager'. Perhaps your coworker could have worded it more as 'talking like a young person'.

In any case, I believe teenagers need to be approached with more understanding. Teenagers aren't inherently bad, and they don't automatically act a certain way. Acting like they do, sort how your coworker did, isn't really helpful for anyone.

Hope my response was coherent haha.

Have a good day!

#asks #anon #teenagers #society #stop stereotyping #stereotypes

1 note · View note

meruz · 2 years

Text

ive been neglecting my inbox so im answering all the asks rn. sorry...if you’ve been waiting for a response.

yes go ahead!! Also ik it is hard to access my FAQ from the app but btw this is in my FAQ its very comprehensive because I get this type of ask a lot LOL. dw it’s not annoying though its easy to answer and I’m glad ppl like my art enough to use it and also care abt crediting!! its in my faq not because i dont like to answer but more so u guys dont need to ask LOL

thank you!! I dont see much infinity train content ever either. when i was making infinity train fanart everyday i felt like i was on an island LOL...

honestly I feel like cahiers are decent with posca because theyre not really absorbent and posca marks tend to sit on the page as opposed to soaking through anyways. umm i wouldnt like... use it to do a whole posca piece or anything but i use poscas just for pops of color in my sketchbook pretty often and it holds up ok. sometimes u can see the shadow of the color through the paper bc its thin but thats mostly it. i took pics of some sketchbook pgs and how the back of the page looks so you can see for yourself ( cw for bakudeku LOL ) ...theres a lot of like.. normal brush pen ink and india ink that penetrates the paper more like even compared to the black posca

thank you!!!! I love drawing assorted cephalopods... their proportions remind me of drawing digimon characters LOL.

not right now u_u I’m busy.... but you can always email me at [email protected] to check abt it! sometimes i will do commissions even if im busy because it sounds cool LOL...

lol thank you!! idk if i ship(?) them either but its interesting to think about!!! theyre funny characters to bonk together and i feel like most fanart ive seen doesnt address how funny their relationship could be if it were more exploratory i guess

yk that scene is kind of a meme now but it like genuinely still makes me emotional. when colette makes lloyd promise not to tell the others at the end it breaks my heart

yeah here you go

I feel like I’ve probably talked about this before in another ask post but i dont really think about style because its one of those things that artists should try to change depending upon intention, what you’re drawing and what you want to communicate etc. what people often recognize as style are quirks that an artist maintains throughout changing their subject and approach.....ANYWAYS. thats all to say my style probably just comes out of normal stuff like looking at other art and thinking “I want to do that” or trying out different mediums and methods and settling with whatever feels the best LOL. It’s always changing & growing! Because I’m always learning new stuff!

Theres a lot! I really like the scene when daisukes lying awake in bed thinking abt how ken’s heartbeat felt. And the scene when they have a sleepover and ken wakes up first and looks over to daisuke sleeping LOL idk subtle stuff you can read very clearly as like burgeoning queer moments.. theyre recognizable from my own queer childhood and i love that in a kids anime. also at the end of the series when theyre fighting the final boss dude and ken grabs daisukes arm to ask him to jogress but hes shivering and daisuke just turns to say “youre shaking....” and in revenge of diaboromon when ken goads daisuke into endurance running by taunting him about soccer LOL (jock romance). but one i rly want to mention is theres this youtube video about how ken and daisuke’s honorifics change over the course of the series and how significant it is when they switch over to first name basis and honestly i think about it a lot THEY HAVE GREAT SCENES!! I love ken and daisuke

wow!! thats rad... the sad truth is its just my name with like a shitton of letters taken out. sometimes i abbreviate it even further as mrz and i think to myself haha ... mister z.

#ask #xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx #pepsiiwho

31 notes · View notes

carouseldreamdiary · 9 months

Text

09.08.23

i was in the streets of cornwall i think and i saw kim trying to get into this door of his house sneakily so i went up to him and was like kim kim kim heyyyy what u doing and he was like im busy and was kinda serious so i was like let me help whats going on so he let me come inside with him and immediately was like shut the door quickly lock it so i did. i asked him why and he explained like the police are coming to get him because he has his cats in the house so we have to hide him and he asked me to give him a leg up so he could climb on top of the closet and hide up there and i was like ok but i think the better idea would be to hide your cats and as i said that i heard banging and yelling at the door from the police telling him to open up so i quickly put the cats up on top of the closet with him (stupidly) and opened the door and they came in so fast they knocked me down. then once they came inside the cats immediately jumped back down but they ignored the cats and instead arrested me for the disappearence of kims mum

i dont remember being in jail but i remember arguing in court with them and being like WHY would i fuckin steal his cats i care about him so much we talk abt his cats all the time. and i think i got out on bail or smthing but when i got out i was walking around and i noticed i was next to kims same house again and it was all crime scened up and closed.

then i think i encountered kim again and he was rly sad abt his mum so i was like hey lets go to spain and for some reason he agreed to come with me so i got us this hotel and we were on the 6th floor and the room was so crazy huge it didnt really have any walls but it had all these sections for like the bedroom, the lounge, the balcony. it was really nice and he started to cheer up a bit more when we were there. i think i was sitting doing something close to him like reading and he suddenly leant his chin on my shoulder and i wanted to cry from happiness, so i think i reached out and took his hand and he held hands with me and it felt so innocent and pure. i felt like a child again. i think i was scared to kiss him so i just brushed my lips against his hand but then we did kiss and i was laughing and so was he and it was just like , not laughing at eachother but from happiness idk it was rly cliche but so nice.

and i think what was so nice about it was ok ive been battling a lot with how like messed up my sex drive is from abuse and how like i jump to sex so fast with people and try to use it to exchange for love and care, its something ive been working on and like i remember even in the dream thinking about that and thinking i dont want to do this yet because it may weird him out. and idk that made me feel happy inside too. to grow like that even if it was a dream cuz it felt incredibly real.

i think i asked if he was hungry and if he wanted to explore the rest of the hotel and he said yes so we wandered downstairs to this like big wide open dining room that had a terrace smoking area and we sat outside on it , it was so high up above the clouds and he linked arms with me which is something i love to do with people it feels so cute and like for him to do it to me felt really cute too IDK im smiling thinking about it now. it was cute it felt like he wasnt ashamed to be seen with me , he was happy and that made me so happy. i think we sat down on a table next to some other people and kim did something to offend them i cant remember what so i explained the situation and they were very kind and understanding and i talked with them a bit about the city and stuff and translated for kim and he was like not very shy i always thought he was quite shy and tbh i am shy too i would never talk to someone like that in real life but we both did and it was nice. then i think we wandered back up to our room again and i was pointing out to him like all the weird shops this hotel had inside it somehow like a bowling alley and a supermarket and a tailors . it kinda looked like asturias alisios centre the bit near carrefour lol.

anyway once we got back to our room i think i offered kim some mushrooms and he was like ok, i was kind of high in the dream already i think so i was struggling to think of a correct doseage for him so i told him eat half this mushroom and it was a pretty small one. i think he was okay but the next thing i remember was being naked in bed with him, i dont think we were having sex but i remember thinking oh hes probably never touched breasts before and then i woke up

0 notes

junipeach · 3 years

Text

#unhappy hour #ed tw #body image tw #mother tw #now tht those r outta the way. boy howdy have i had an evenin #so were broke as fuck rn so my moms like i can make us dirt soup.. ig.. before i was like fuck it ill buy us a lil pizza ive got 5 bucks #and shes heein and hawin abt me spendin my money and i get it she feels weird tht her kids buyin the food but cmon #so we get the pizza & given thr weve got no food ive had like 1 meal today so i scarf down half tht damn thing #qnd i was just thinkin in my head haha its good i worked out today but even if i didnt im still allowed to b hungry :^)#and then she butts in w "WELL. U sure ate a lot for someone who didnt do anything today' UNPROVOKED????#i didnt bite bc im too sick of her shit but maam. lol. haha. rofl. lmao.#THEN as im brushing my teeth she comes in. stares at me. n goes 'mija u gotta excersise more... gnight' OKAYYYYYY #worst part is i cant tell her i HAVE been excersising consistently since april. bc then its gotta become a whole Thing w her.#idk. everythings always a Whole Thing w her she was just extra vile tonight lol sry for buying us dinner and ruining ur power play #ask 2 tag i think i got it all at the start but jic #i try jot to vent as much on here but hot damn. a doozy of an evening lol

5 notes · View notes

hornime · 3 years

Text

watch and learn | iwaizumi hajime x f!reader x team japan

there were two things they all had in common: the growing bulges in their pants that they were urgently trying to distract themselves from, and the fact that their full attention was on you.

warnings: 18+, timeskip!everyone, BIG MANGA SPOILERS BASICALLY, exhibitionism, voyeurism, orgasm denial

w/c: 3.1k

a/n: now i don’t know if iwaizumi hajime (27) athletic trainer learned about female orgasms when he was studying sports science at irvine BUT he def knows how to show a girl a good time which is reason enough for me to write this. also, i read this article to prep for this piece and it was super enlightening, so i do recommend giving it a read if you’re interested!

in the middle of his morning run, iwaizumi slowed momentarily to check the repetitive buzzing of this phone, curious as to who was messaging him this early. when he’d left the apartment, you were sleeping, and you had the tendency to still be sleeping by the time he returned, so who else could it be?

he unlocked his phone, quickly finding the source of the notifications: the team japan group chat.

[06:43 AM] miya: hey @iwaizumi—you know stuff abt the human body right?

[06:43 AM] miya: cus like you studied it in college and shit??

iwaizumi rolled his eyes. i spent four years in america to earn my degree, came back home to support my country’s olympic team, and dealt with the biggest idiots of volleyball, only to get treated like this?

[06:44 AM] iwaizumi: yes, miya. i took many courses on the human body. in fact that’s the purpose of my job. to know the human body. because i am a fucking athletic trainer.

[06:44 AM] miya: okay okay i get it. dumb question

[06:44 AM] iwaizumi: why? is something up? you need help or anything?

[06:44 AM] miya: uhhh kinda

[06:44 AM] miya: @hinata i’m not fucking asking this

[06:44 AM] bokuto: bro just do it

[06:44 AM] miya: @hinata @hinata @hinata

iwaizumi cocked an eyebrow. what the hell are they going on about?

[06:45 AM] iwaizumi: so am i needed or...

[06:45 AM] hinata: YES

[06:45 AM] hinata: we had a question

[06:46 AM] sakusa: by “we” he means him, miya, and bokuto

[06:46 AM] suna: yeah don’t bring us into this

[06:46 AM] hinata: don’t listen to them! both suna and sakusa wanna know too

[06:46 AM] iwaizumi: okay. what’s up

[06:47 AM] hinata: we wanted to know how to make a girl cum

he chuckled in disbelief.

[06:47 AM] iwaizumi: you’re telling me that you guys are in your mid-20s, literal olympic athletes, and you don’t know how to make a girl cum

[06:47 AM] iwaizumi: have you never done it before??

[06:47 AM] miya: NO

[06:47 AM] miya: FOR THE RECORD IVE MADE MANY GIRLS CUM

[06:48 AM] bokuto: ME TOO

[06:48 AM] bokuto: i think

he laughed out loud, briefly startling another runner on the sidewalk.

[06:48 AM] iwaizumi: you guys are unbelievable

[06:48 AM] hinata: i mean she says she finished but idk what i did to make that happen

[06:48 AM] bokuto: ^^

[06:48 AM] hinata: so like i wanna know how to actually do it

[06:48 AM] suna: actually im kinda interested in this too

[06:48 AM] aran: i pray for your future girlfriends. this is painful to see. im out

[06:48 AM] kageyama: i’m with aran on this one. you guys are dumb

[06:48 AM] hinata: shut up. you suck.

[06:48 AM] miya: cmon iwaizumi, help a guy out

[06:48 AM] sakusa: it wouldnt hurt for you to give us some pointers at least

iwaizumi sighed.

[06:49 AM] iwaizumi: @miya @hinata @bokuto @suna @sakusa meet in the locker room after practice. ill give you guys a lesson in the art of pleasing a woman

to teach effectively, he needed a volunteer, though he was sure you wouldn’t need much convincing. you’d always loved the attention, and the biceps, of the pro athletes. he spun on his heel and jogged home.

you woke up to the sound of your apartment door opening, your boyfriend creeping inside, forehead damp with sweat.

“hey,” you said quietly, making your way towards him.

“hey, baby. sorry for waking you up, i was trying to be quiet.”

you giggled sleepily. “s’okay, haji. you spoil me too much anyway, always letting me sleep in for hours while you’re off doing god knows what.”

at that, his eyes crinkled in amusement, and as you tried to step into a hug, he shuffled back. “woah there, baby. i gotta shower, ‘m all gross from my run. and then,” he gave you a peculiar look that you couldn’t quite place, “i got a proposition for you.”

after his shower, he waltzed out of the bathroom, steam wafting out from behind the door. his tanned body made you feel things you definitely shouldn’t be barely an hour after the sun’s risen, and you reached out to massage the tension in his shoulders. “so, what’s your proposition?”

“well,” he hesitated. “it’s a bit... unconventional. the team asked me to show them how to make a girl cum,” he took in your intrigued expression. “and it’d be a lot easier to explain if i had someone to do a live demonstration with. so,” his eyes flicked up to you. “that’s where you’d come in.”

“a... live demonstration? like you’re gonna make me cum in front of them?”

“yeah, essentially.” he gave you a devilish grin. “you want that, baby? wanna show those boys how a real man treats a gorgeous woman like you?”

you rubbed your thighs at his words. “yeah,” you purred. “i do. wanna show them how good you are to me.”

and that’s how you found yourself nestled between iwaizumi’s muscled thighs, back pressed against his chest, completely naked, with five of japan’s best volleyball players staring at your body in awe.

practically an expert in his field, iwaizumi knew the human body inside and out. this had many benefits; of course it allowed him to catapult up the ranks and work with the country’s best athletes to keep them at the top of their game, but it also had a unique side effect: an overwhelming vault of knowledge on how to make a woman feel good anywhere.

you’d seen the proof firsthand; he knew exactly where to push, prod, stroke, and tease to have you cumming in seconds, over and over, as many times as you wanted. he was amazing, and you were well-aware just how lucky you were to have such a talented man in the sheets.

“oi,” iwaizumi snapped his fingers, drawing each of the players’ eyes away from your glistening cunt. “pay attention. i know more than anybody that she’s hot as fuck, but you gotta listen to what i’m saying or else there’s no point to this.”

he lightly pressed his lips against your collarbone, slowly tracing them against your jaw, the contact making you squirm. “if you wanna make a girl cum, first thing you gotta do is make her comfortable. if she’s worried about how she looks or sounds or smells she’s gonna be too stressed to let go.” he moved his hands to grope your tits, his calloused fingers brushing over your hardening nipples. “so reassure her, tell her how irresistible she is, how pretty her moans are, how tasty her pussy is. shit like that. the sexier she feels the better it’ll be.”

he leaned into you, whispering into your ear. “feeling good, baby? we can stop whenever.”

you nodded weakly, afraid to open your mouth, barely holding in your whines as his palms worked wonders on your chest and stomach, sending shocks of heat wherever they touched.

you craned your neck up to observe the men before you. atsumu was flushed red, wringing his hands as if he was worried they’d do something embarrassing if he didn’t keep them occupied. hinata was bouncing his leg up and down, wiping his palms on his shorts as he took in the plushness of your thighs. bokuto was basically drooling, greedily tracing your soft curves with his eyes. suna maintained his indifferent expression, but the reddening tips of his ears showed that he was a lot more hot and bothered than he let on. sakusa stood quietly to the side, leaning against the wall, mask tucked under his chin as if he’d just realized how much the temperature had gone up in the room.

there were two things they all had in common: the growing bulges in their pants that they were urgently trying to distract themselves from, and the fact that their full attention was on you.

"make sure to try different things; there’s multiple ways to make a woman cum. only like a quarter of women experience orgasms just from penetration,” someone made a sound of shock. “yes, the number is that small, bokuto.”

his fingertip slowly trailed past your belly button, dipping into the mess between your thighs, causing you to slightly arch your back into the solid chest supporting you. “foreplay with the clit is your best bet; even stupid fucks like you probably wouldn’t screw it up too bad.”

hinata opened his mouth to speak, but iwaizumi anticipated his question and continued.

“i know you’re wondering where the clit is. it’s around here, under this hood of skin,” he slid his digit between your labia. “s’not gonna come with a label so you gotta explore a little bit. i know where hers is like the back of my hand, but for you guys, with your girls, you’re gonna have to move your fingers around. slowly. and pay attention to her expressions.” he began to rub in a circular motion around your clit, causing you to make small whimpers of pleasure and shift your hips to meet his movements.

“if she clenches up or twitches when you feel a certain spot, like this,” your legs flexed as he increased the pressure, “that’s the clit. be kind, it’s not a volleyball. be gentle n’ make small circles, whether it’s with your fingers or your tongue.”

he thought for a second. “speaking of which, oral’s important. very important. most women cum when they’ve been eaten out, so use your mouths for something more useful than just dirty talk. suck on the clit, maybe tongue-fuck her a ‘lil, but your main focus should always be the clit.”

he removed his hands from your sopping pussy, and you made a pathetic noise of frustration. “’m sorry, baby,” he muttered seductively in your ear. “don’t wanna have you finishing too early. lesson’s barely started.”

he turned his attention back to your audience, his lustful tone being replaced by a more instructional one. “there’s other places that’ll help a woman orgasm, too: her nipples, her neck, her ears—”

“her ears?” sakusa questioned. he blushed profusely as everyone turned to look at him, surprised that he’d opened his mouth. “what? we were all thinking it.”

“s’a valid question,” iwaizumi said. “yeah, you can lick ‘em if they’re sensitive. hers are.” as if to prove his statement, he licked a stripe on the shell of you ear, making you wiggle helplessly at the stimulation. “‘n leave kisses everywhere else. feels good for them just like it does for us.” he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him and forcing your movements to stop as he traced patterns with his tongue all around your neck.

“something you should know about an orgasm is that it’s something called a positive feedback loop.” he looked up and was met with five blank stares. shouldn’t have expected anything from these dumb jocks, he lamented. “basically that means that, once you start releasing sexual tension, things will feel better and better until you climax.”

“oh!” atsumu chirped. “like how my sets get better and better throughout a game.”

“no, not really,” he quipped. “your sets suck throughout.” atsumu frowned at that.

iwaizumi exhaled exasperatedly. “the general idea is that the body gets more and more sensitive, muscle contractions become more and more frequent, and touches feel more and more stimulating until you cum. all right?”

they all made noises of understanding except for bokuto and hinata, whose eyes had glazed over at the first mention of an academic term. whatever, iwaizumi thought. they’ll get it through example.

"don’t worry about it too much if you don’t get it, that’s just an orgasm on paper. in practice, though, this is the crucial step: listen to her. she knows what feels good. never forget that you’re just an idiot with a cock.” he took a breath, gathering his thoughts before proceeding with his lecture.

“if she tells you to slow down, you slow down. if she tells you to go harder, you go harder. if she tells you to keep doing what you’re doing, you...”

“keep doing what you’re doing”, they all chimed in at staggered times.

“that’s right. don’t go faster or else you’ll mess up the rhythm and she won’t cum. and you wanna make her cum, don’t you?”

they nodded simultaneously.

“so if you keep up the tempo and force that feels good to her, you’ll be fine. questions?”

suna spoke up. “what about,” he choked on the word. “penetration?”

hinata hummed in agreement and bokuto jumped in. “yeah, what if i wanna make her cum on my cock?”

iwaizumi made a weird face. “that’s some pretty advanced stuff, but i guess i can go over it. when you try it, though, you have to be patient. with both of your bodies. s’not rocket science but s’not always easy. also it depends on the woman but sometimes she physically won’t be able to finish from penetration alone. just make sure you’re communicating.”

his swirled two fingers over your hole before shoving them in, your wetness making it easy for him to thrust in and out as your entrance stretched to accommodate him. “f—fuck!” your eyes flew open at the intrusion and you body lurched forward, but you were held back by his strong forearm. “ohmygod, oh my g—ah! feels s’good haji, s’good!”

“i know, baby, i know. you’re taking it so well.” he turned his attention back to the men, each of who were gulping heavily. if that didn’t signal to you that they were evidently affected by your moans, the way they shifted in their workout shorts did.

“boys, focus.” he curled his fingertips, brushing at the spongy spot at the top of your walls, ripping a pleasured wail from your throat and causing tears to prick at your eyelashes. “when you’re fingering her, you’ll feel an area inside that’s a bit soft and squishy. that’s the g-spot.”

you trembled in his arms as he mercilessly struck the same place over and over again with his fingers. “when you’re fucking her, try to keep the pressure building there, but it’ll be harder to make her finish since you can’t see what you’re doing.”

your breath hitched as iwaizumi’s incessant movements brought your body tantalizingly close to your release. he suddenly stopped and you almost sobbed in disappointment, until he plunged his fingers impossibly deeper.

a guttural scream of ecstasy came from within you, and your eyes rolled back as he began playing with another part of you, your body putty in his hands. “hngh, haji, ah! so good, s’good...” you threw your hands back around his neck, nails digging into the skin as you desperately tried to keep yourself grounded. your soft moans filled the air.

“stop clenching,” he hissed. “can barely move my hand.” you tried to relax but failed miserably as the tips of his fingers grazed your cervix.

“holy fuck,” suna muttered. “you’re a god.”

“she sounds so pretty,” atsumu said in amazement.

“i wanna make a girl feel good like that, too!” bokuto sulked.

“you can do it, bokuto!” hinata hit him on the arm. “just listen to iwaizumi. clearly he knows what he’s talking about.”

their eyes refocused on your figure, writhing in pleasure, prompting white hot waves of arousal to pool in their stomachs.

“yeah,” sakusa said. “clearly.”

“stop talking,” iwaizumi ordered. “and listen. beyond the g-spot is the cervix, which is basically the end of the vagina. if you’re long enough,” he briefly scanned each of their faces, “which i’m sure you are, you’ll be able to reach it if you bottom out.”

“haji—hajime, please.” the stimulation was coming absolutely unbearable, and you could tell he was sadistically holding you at the edge, refusing to give you the satisfaction of finishing. “lemme cum, please. please lemme cum, please, please, i can’t—i can’t take it ‘nymore!”

“what was that? you can’t take it anymore? gonna cum?” you helplessly bobbed your head up and down, hoping that he’d give you permission. “well,” he growled, “we can’t have that happening, can we?”

he abruptly halted his thrusts, pulling his fingers out of you with an embarrassing squelch and popping them into his mouth. pearly tears rolled down your cheeks as you grieved the loss of contact and relief.

your viewers looked on in horror, feeling immense sympathy for you; you just looked so dejected from being denied yet another orgasm.

“why didn’t you—why didn’t you let her cum?” bokuto asked.

“why do you think?” iwaizumi snapped. “don’t want you guys to see her when she does. that’s for me, and only me.”

“oh, okay,” he responded, disgruntlement clear in his voice.

iwaizumi’s glare could cut glass, it was so sharp. the possessiveness that had enveloped his mind made him hyperfocus on just one thought: being alone with you. “so, any other questions? if not, we’re done here.”

you pouted at that, not wanting the demonstration to be over. “but haji,” you mumbled into his collarbone. “i di’nt get to cum. and i wanna.” you looked up at him, eyes wide with want. “please make me cum.”

iwaizumi sent a harsh glance to the players that nonverbally communicated his message loud and clear: get out. they shuffled awkwardly out of the locker room due to the hardness between their legs that they would most definitely need to deal with soon.

your boyfriend turned his attention back to you. “’m sorry, i know i had to deny you a bunch of times. i just really hated the idea of anyone but me seeing the cute way you look when you cum.”

you made a small noise of acknowledgement and a little whisper of it’s okay, haji. he looked down, sensing the way your poor, desperate cunt was pulsing around nothing, the erotic sight injecting him with the pure need to ravage you.

he shifted his head to kiss you passionately. “why don’t i make it up to you?” he breathed between your parted lips before picking you up by the backs of your thighs, forcing you to lock your ankles around his waist.

he delicately situated you onto one of the recovery beds at the back of the room, before murmuring something that made your pussy throb in anticipation: “i’ll make you cum whichever way you want, however many times you want, all right? all you gotta do is lay back and take it.”

#kinky.inky #haikyū!!#haikyuu smut #hq smut #haikyuu iwaizumi #iwaizumi smut #iwaizumi x reader #atsumu smut #hinata smut #bokuto smut #suna smut #sakusa smut #iwaizumi #sakusa #bokuto #hinata #suna #atsumu

4K notes · View notes