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a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual · 10 months

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Nimona headcanons just cause

Nimona and Ambrosius are both like sentient space heaters

Nimona runs hotter than the average human being because obvi

But Ambrosius is a whole nother ballpark

I just know this man hates summer more than the average person

Poor baby is just a miserable sweaty clammy mess and if anyone tries to touch him during summer he threatens to bite them

Nimona and Ambrosius always refuse to let the ac get higher than 60 degrees and Bal suffers

Bal should be classified as a damn reptile

Poor baby has terrible circulation

It’s bad enough that Ambrosius has dragged him to the doctor multiple times

He clings to Ambrosius and Nimona in the winter because this man is constantly freezing

I just know he’s a damn menace the second it gets a little chilly

This little brat will shove his hands up Ambrosius’ shirt the second he gets home to “warm up”

And he’s got a metal hand so it’s twice as cold

Ambrosius has been woken up from a deep sleep by freezing hands or freezing feet and will whine about how it feels like waking up in an ice bath

One time Ambrosius walked into the living room to find Bal chasing Nimona around while they were screaming “Frosty the snowman is trying to kill me with his icicle hands”

Ambrosius is weirdly good with all kids he’s been described multiple times as a “natural parent”

Does he like kids…. That’s up for debate

Like he doesn’t hate them if their parents raised them right but if that kid is a little bully then fuck no he doesn’t like them

Nimona is also really good with kids

He’s a little cautious around elementary school kids cause you know trauma and has weird beef with all middle schoolers

Bal is fucking terrified of babies

One time someone asked him to hold their baby and then walked off and which sent him into a panic attack

He’ll go on hour-long rants about how fragile are and how he can’t be trusted with something that can suffocate if you don’t lay them down the wrong way

He’s okay with elementary school kids and doesn’t mind middle schoolers but he has massive issues with highschoolers for some reason

A high school once asked him to visit and give a talk to the students and Ambrosius had to take his laptop away before he emailed them back saying “I’d rather chop my other arm off”

Honestly I think even though Nimona craves stability she also needs freedom

So every couple of weeks she’ll go on little solo adventures

She keeps the boys updated constantly about where she is but she never tells them when she’s coming back because she doesn’t even know

Most of the time she’ll come back when she wants a homecooked meal (and when she misses the boys)

The boys are pretty used to this routine so they aren’t surprised anymore when they come home to a note saying she’ll be gone for a bit

They also aren't surprised when he climes through their window at 2 in the morning to wake them up and demand food

Could he make it himself? Absolutely

Does he want to? Fuck no where’s the fun in that

Plus he knows no matter how much the boys complain about messed up sleep schedules and how he “gave them a heart attack” they'd rather be woken up in the middle of the night so they can make sure he’s healthy and fed

When they do come home the boys “force” them into a sleepover in the living room where they eat a stupid amount of junk food and watch old horror movies

And they call out of work so they can catch up and learn everything that can't fit in a text

#nimona 2023 #nimona movie #nimona headcanon #nimona #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #ballister x ambrosius #goldenheart #I am Ambrosius #but I'm also Bal #I have terrible circulation but I also hate summer #summer can suck a dick #Nimona is like a cat #they come and they go as they please #the boys never try and stop them #cause they know it's not their place #oh they miss her for sure #and they worry about her all the time #but they also know she needs her freedom

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serpentinerose · 4 years

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hi! this isn't supposed to be ship or character hate, I'm just genuinely having a conflictual time reading 2ha. i'm on chapter 60 (so obviously I'm already pretty invested lol), but how do people get past the fact that cw is in love with a 15yr old disciple? maybe I'm just not at the part in the novel where that is somehow justified (i know he doesn't DO anything to moran, really its vice versa, but it's still kind of the thought that counts). does this q make sense? rly not supposed 2b hate!!

Hello anon! Thank you for your question. I think this is a morally gray point and surely will be one of the most common criticisms levied at 2ha, especially once it gets big when Hao Yi Xing is released. Some people would definitely classify Chu Wanning’s love for 15-year-old Mo Ran as very clearly immoral. I don’t love the minor thing due to my own ethnic Asian but Western-raised perspective, but I can kind of see why Meatbun made this decision. Keeping in mind how Chu Wanning was written as a character in the context of fantasy ancient China, I have a few thoughts on this. I tend to ramble a lot, so here is my word vomit:

1. Modern Western age of consent vs. classical norms. I think it is worth examining our own understanding of various constructs of the modern age, including the age of consent. It is no surprise that there was pretty much no such thing as an age of consent in the past; for women, it was whenever they started their period, and then they were eligible to marry. I think it is great that we now care a lot about age of consent; there is an enormous differential of power between a relatively young person and a more established, mature person, and knowing what we now know about prefrontal cortex formation (continuing until roughly the age of 25), it is good that we establish some boundaries. However, there does seem to be a mismatch between the biological point at which we are counted as fully mature and what we consider to be an appropriate age a person can be eligible for guilt-free sex. The age of consent is arbitrary to the point that it still varies in many parts of the world. What is considered immoral varies depending on context. Meatbun wrote 2ha following an established tradition in wuxia novels following the norms of that world. In the world of ancient China and especially fantasy ancient China, the fact that Mo Ran is a minor will not make anyone blink an eye. What is very scandalous, however, is that Chu Wanning is his teacher. One of China’s most famous wuxia stories, the Return of the Condor Heroes, features the love story between the protagonist and his female martial artist master. It has been some years since I returned to this story, but I am 99% sure that the disciple Yang Guo was a minor when their relationship began. Even removed from the Eastern world, Western classical traditions also extol the virtue of the erastes/eromenos sexual relationship. This does not mean I am saying it’s ok for someone to be attracted to whom we consider minors if we just move everyone to a historical setting, but we also have to be critical about how future generations will look back at our current norms and how we, too, will become abhorrent to them in some respect.

2. Chu Wanning as a person and the concept of love. The xianxia world of cultivation seems to de-emphasize the concept of sexual love even as sex itself is widely acknowledged as a method of cultivation. However, dual cultivation is also thought of in-universe as an inferior technique of cultivation, with self-cultivation held to the highest standard, meaning abstinence (I cannot find the reference for this, sorry, but probably somewhere in Book 1). I do not read Chu Wanning’s attraction to Mo Ran as sexual at all in book 1. [minor spoilers] Chu Wanning was raised by monks in a removed temple at the top of a mountain [/minor spoilers], and sexual desire is considered taboo and suppressed. Chu Wanning was so successful at this suppression that he quite simply does not even think about sex or sexual matters until [minor spoilers] book 2, when Mo Ran is much older and way hotter [/minor spoilers]. I think for Chu Wanning, the love he feels for young Mo Ran is romantic and protective, in that he would do anything to keep Mo Ran safe, puts Mo Ran’s interests above his own, and is quite divorced from sexual interests. One may note that every romantic touch between Chu Wanning and Mo Ran at that age was initiated by Mo Ran himself, and Chu Wanning just kind of sat there in shock, and if he did take comfort in those moments, I can’t really blame him with the heavy amount of seemingly unrequited love going on. Chu Wanning saw a spark of something pure and good in 14-year-old Mo Ran when Mo Ran first became his disciple, and through their time together, the spark only grew stronger and fueled Chu Wanning’s love. I don’t think Chu Wanning considered Mo Ran as a sexual being, nor did Chu Wanning consider himself a sexual being. Until book 2. Also, a re-emphasis that it is just so arbitrary that an adult having feelings for a 17-year-old is not ok, but it’s fine when that person turns 18, which leads me to...

3. Thoughts vs. actions. This goes into a philosophical slash kind of religious point about at what point does sin begin, at the thoughts level or at the actions level. Chu Wanning quite clearly believed it is the former. He suffered tremendous guilt over his love for Mo Ran because Mo Ran is his disciple, even if everything I said about the age thing did not count. The master-disciple relationship in ancient China is as sacred as the father-child relationship. There is a famous idiom, which goes “One day as a teacher, a lifetime as a father,” signifying how well this relationship is valued under a Confucian system. Flash forward to 1984 and the thought police, and then taking into account how Meatbun is writing this novel in censorship-happy Communist China, I think it is a pretty deliberate choice on Meatbun’s part to make Mo Ran’s starting age in the novel below the 18-year-old threshold of acceptability. Do we condemn Chu Wanning for what is in his heart, unvoiced, or for what he does? For all that Chu Wanning pines for Mo Ran, what he ends up doing can only be seen as virtuous. Even if someone reads his love for Mo Ran as sexual, does it negate what he chose to do instead? Contrast this with Nabokov’s treatment of the narrator in Lolita, which is a clear example of abuse. Chu Wanning loved Mo Ran at all ages, through all stages of both of their lives; it is not a fetish for him to seek out youth. It just so happened that Chu Wanning met Mo Ran at that point in both their lives. Overall, I think the moral judgment of Chu Wanning’s feeling is up for each reader to answer for themselves.

With all that said, my own context is that I’m a woman in my late 20s with relatively little trauma history raised within both the Sinosphere and “the West,” and so my experiences reading this novel and my own understanding of the characters and their motivations are colored through my own lenses. I am of the opinion that literature (I don’t think I’m being too generous in saying that 2ha counts as a piece of literature) should challenge your perception, expand your horizon, and get you to think critically about what you are consuming. Of course, I would prioritize your own mental health and safety if reading this novel is traumatizing to a more serious degree than feeling conflictual about the subject matter. Thank you for the very thoughtful question. It really helped me work through my own feelings about this pairing and Chu Wanning as a character.

#2ha #chu wanning #mo ran #ranwan #erha #meta #ish

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starks-parker · 5 years

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Last Summer- part three: home sweet home

A/n: sorry this took so long my life is hectic rn. anyways i think this is the last part- maybe there will be an epilogue? pls enjoy and as always send in any requests or messages you have :) <3

warnings: fluff and big time smut

summary: peter finally works up the courage to ask y/n out. time jump to college and peter and y/n get nostalgic and hang out in y/n’s old room at the tower. Poor Steve sees some things he did not want to see.

“Pete”

“Mmhmm?” He lazily mumbled, still trying to kiss you.

“I think- um - we should uh go to uh the beach now.” You breathed through your words, struggling to talk since he was attacking your neck with kisses, finding your sweet spot.

He broke away, staring up at you with a guilty look. “Oh yeah, good idea. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry just- I think we got caught up in the moment. Um, let’s get ready.” You didn’t want the first time you admitted your feelings to Peter to be the first time you hooked up with him. What kind of signal would that send?

Peter nodded and grabbed two sweatshirts, handing one to you.

“I know you were gonna ask for one anyways.”

“Thanks,” You said cautiously, noticing that the mood had definitely shifted. You took the hoodie and threw it on, getting ready for the most awkward walk of your life.

When you and Peter got to the beach, everyone was already there. The sun was setting and the breeze was cold. Normally you would make an excuse to look at Peter, he always looked so beautiful at sunset, but now was not the time.

“Y/n!” Flash called. “Why the hell is it so cold? I thought we were swimming!”

“You don’t swim on a beach in San Francisco at 9 pm. It’s never hotter than like 76 degrees here.” You laughed at the sight of all of your friends in swimsuits when it was 60 degrees out.

“But it’s California!” He whined.

“Yea, Northern California dumbass.” You snapped back.

“Whatever, I’m swimming anyways.” MJ shrugged and turned around to walk into the water.

Brad hesitated at first but followed MJ, scooping her up as he ran full speed into the water. Ned and Betty followed, holding hands and playfully splashing water at each other. Flash took this an excuse to pretend like he was drowning, or dying from hypothermia or something so that Spiderman would come save him. You and Peter giggled while you watched your dumb friends jump into freezing cold water.

“Guess we can’t follow them, huh?” You joked to Peter.

“Yeah too bad we didn’t bring suits,” He joked back.

All of a sudden you two were alone again. It felt like the universe was doing this on purpose, any excuse for you two to be alone and it just happened. An awkward silence fell over you two, normally any silence was never awkward, since you were just so comfortable with each other. But now it was awkward, you hadn’t talked about what happened before yet you both wanted to, it was like unspoken secret you both knew.

“Y/n?” Peter began to talk but you interrupted him

“Peter? Oh sorry.”

“No you go.” He said with a sweet boyish charm.

“Okay, I just- I really liked what happened earlier. I just stopped it from happening because I don’t want this thing to begin that way.”

“This thing?” Peter blushed, already knowing what you were talking about

“Oh god- okay um. This isn’t how I wanted it to happen but um- I don’t know, I really like spending time with you. You’re my best friend and you’re really sweet and funny and cute, and I just really like being with you.” You rambled. Everything was coming out- not all of it made total sense but you were like a car with no breaks. “And earlier- kissing you felt so natural and it was all I’ve ever wanted to do for so long.”

Peter couldn’t hold his smile back. The way you were nervously rambling, the way you opened yourself up to him, pretty much everything about you gave him butterflies. He never wanted to stop looking at you, or holding you, or kissing you.

Everything Peter wanted to say filled his mind until it all became scrambled and he couldn’t figure out what to say. One thought was looming in his mind, one thought that he couldn’t get out of his head.

‘Will you go out with me?” He blurted out, probably not the most appropriate reaction to your confession of love.

You smiled at the awkward boy in front of you. “Of course I will Peter Parker.” You blushed as he leaned down to kiss you, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist.

“What’s going on here?” Brad walked up to you two making out.

You broke away from the kiss smiling up at Peter. “Um, I guess we’re dating now.”

“You guys weren’t already dating?” Flash asked, following behind Brad.

“Wait that wasn’t already a thing?” Brad asked, confused.

“About time, Peter has been such a wimp about it.” Ned giggled.

“Cool, thanks for the support guys.” Peter mumbled.

“Of course we support you! But it kinda feels like this was a long time coming.” Betty said as she held back a chuckle.

You looked back to Peter, gazing into his loving eyes.

He smiled back at you, never taking his eyes off of you. He loved that he officially got to call you his. He loved that this confident, caring, sweet, funny, smart and perfect girl was his.

MJ interrupted your deep, but kind of annoying to your friends, stare. “What are you guys gonna tell Tony?”

“Shit.” You both muttered, your smiles and blushes turned to frowned looks of worry.

It had been almost 3 months since your summer vacation with your friends. You and Peter were still still dating and you were starting at the same college. Of course you felt bad that you never told your dad that you two were dating, but you were moving away, you didn’t want to hurt his heart anymore than you already have.

College was everything you ever dreamed it would be. You had to deal with the snotty and entitled Columbia kids, but otherwise it was perfect. You and Peter hung out almost every night, you made some really cool new friends, and the parties were insane. Tonight your dorm mate refused to go stay somewhere else, so you and Peter decided to sneak into the Tower and hang out.

“My dad won’t be home anyways, don’t worry babe. We’re adults now.”

“Okay,” He said reluctantly.

You and Peter fell asleep, watching TV and eating pizza. It felt like high school again, being in your old room, sneaking around the tower, it was nostalgic. Except now you were dating. You were wrapped in each others arms, and no matter how much you loved being as close as you possibly could be to Peter, it was wildly hot in this room.

You tried to shuffle out of his arms gently so you wouldn’t wake him up. You brushed his arms off of you and sat up on the bed. You were literally drenched with sweat. It was obscure, but the one thing you hated was waking up and being sweaty. That’s why you always kept your windows open at night and never slept in sweatpants. You must have forgotten about all of those things, because here you were about to shower at 2 am. You sat yourself up and wiggled the sweatpants off of you and took off your shirt. All of that commotion woke Peter up, as he groggily rubbed his eyes. He opened his eyes to a very peculiar sight, you were sitting there in your underwear looking back at him.

“Oh good morning,” He said with an eyebrow cocked.

“Oh shut up,” You said playfully annoyed. “I got sweaty.”

“Oh really?” He speculated.

You smirked and rolled your eyes. “Really.” You said crossing your arms, unintentionally pushing your breasts up.

“You know, now that you say it, I’m getting a little sweaty too.” He chuckled while he took his shirt off. Normally Peter was a shy boy who had the confidence of a loaf of bread, but in times like this he was cocky little shit. And you loved it.

You giggled while he pulled you under him, your back was now on the bed and Peter was hovering over you, his arms on either side of your shoulders. You looked into each others eyes before he lowered himself down, kissing you.

“Peter I’m sweaty!” You laughed while pushing him off, but not trying that hard.

“Yeah me too.” He whispered as he went back to kissing you.

You loved when Peter took charge, his weight now pressing down on you. He let his hands roam to your ass, giving you a squeeze and you whimpered at the sudden pleasure. You flipped him over so you could get a better look at the boy who you loved. His face was glistening with sweat, his curls were perfectly askew, and his torso was as toned as ever. His hands made their way to your bra, unclasping it and tossing it to the side.

He kissed your neck and chest as you grinded against his hips, he was getting hard against you. You moved down to his sweatpants as you slid them down, along with his boxers. You took him into your hand, pumping up and down eventually putting your lips against him.

“Baby girl?” He asked out of breath.

“Mmhm?” You hummed against him.

“Fuck- I- need to be in you.” He said with an urgency that meant he was close.

You moved yourself back up to his hips, and slowly slid down. You’d gotten used to how he felt, so the pace picked up pretty quickly. After a few times of you going up and down he flipped you over and slammed into you. He grabbed your hair, slightly tugging it. You groaned at the pleasure mixed with pain as you grabbed the sheets under you, needing something to grab onto.

“Harder Peter please,” You begged, needing a release.

“Fuck baby-” He groaned, doing what you asked of him.

His pace got quicker, and his grasp that moved down to you hips strengthened. He kissed your neck, for sure leaving a few marks.

“I’m so close princess,” He growled into your ear.

“Me too-” Your moan was interrupted

“Who the FUCK is FUCKING in here- OH JESUS CHRIST” Steve screamed as he slammed your door closed and ran away from the door.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit!” You panicked as you scrambled to put some clothes on.

“That did not just happen.” Peter said breathing heavily as he slipped his pants back on.

You ran out into the hallway to find Natasha laughing her ass off and Steve sitting down with fear in his eyes.

“I- I can’t breathe- oh my god that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen!” Nat wheezed.

“Nat!” You hissed, embarrassed.

“Young lady,” Steve said standing up. “You and Peter are in big trouble.”

“For what? We’re adults.” You protested. “How are you gonna punish me if I don’t even live here?”

Probably should not have said that.

“I’m telling Tony.” Steve said sternly.

“NO NO NO NO NO!!!” Peter came into the room running with pure panic in his eyes. “I’m sorry Mr. Steve- Mr. Captain - America Rogers - MR. ROGERS.” Peter finally got it right, completely flustered. “Please sir, if Tony finds out what I was doing with his daughter - I - would never be able to see her again!”

“And same with me! Come on Steve.”

He looked at you two with careful thought. “Fine, but you have to tell him that you’re dating- I really hope you are- it’s not good to lie to your parents.”

“Fine.” You gave up and walked back to your room, Peter following you.

“Nope, get back here son. You’ll sleep on the couch.”

Peter looked back at you, but you waved him off. Steve was angry and you were not going to make him even more mad.

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