fuck it. guys look at these goddamn edies. edie1 edie2 edie3 edie4 edie5???
i havent finished the game yet just wanted to share some of my drawings these next days : ) im on crimson flower bit. id appreciate no spoilers after that.. ty : )
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hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x
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saiki being in a romantic relationship (or alternatively, actually trying to be in one) for the first time and having no experience or knowledge on what to do, so he falls back on behaviors hes picked up from the people around him..
but the most romance hes seen close up are his parents, aiura + teruhashi + yumehara with crushes and trying to flirt, etcetc (toritsuka does not count cuz what he does is hardly romantic, and that one time kuboyasu was ready to drop everything and marry a girl immediately doesnt count either cuz saiki expressively thought that was too much)
PLUS his own 'secret' obsession with romance stories and cliches..
so like.. crushy honeymoon romance is the only romance he KNOWS..
he would definitely find it too embarrassing to actually be as consciously lovey dovey as his parents are, and wouldnt want to try and be some 'knight in shining armor' like yumehara imagined him at first, but i think that 1) it would be a lot more subconscious and he would just not know any better than to latch onto his partner and 2) he would just choose (consciously AND subconsciously depending on the situation) to just try and do what he knows but in a subtle way..
like, he wouldnt write a love letter and pair it with a homemade chocolate heart like yumehara did, but he might write little notes (which are probably more like encouraging little phrases and paragraphs like a mom would put in her kids lunch than sweet love notes) and make baked goods for someone..
its probably mostly his mom that he models his behavior after, so he cooks for his person a lot and his most notable love language is probably acts of service
thats obviously not his only love language though, quality time was always his biggest until it came to romance and acts of service just barely weighs it out. words of affirmation is a big one for him too.. physical touch is also important for him, but not in the way that it would be for most people i think. its part of his love language more in a way that if he wants to touch a person at ALL, its an expression of love.. i think he would be big on sitting close together so his thighs and hands are just barely touching theirs, holding onto someones arm or having his arm be held, stuff like that..
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