#if you notice how bad the colors are

[stiwfssr]

#detroit: become human #detroit become human #dbh #video game #video games #hank anderson #connor #my gifs #540px #10mb #then i did do it big #and was right about the coloring #I replaced two gifs #after reblogs #cuz i noticed frames I didn't like #hopefully you didn't notice #Hopefully you didn't see how my computer struggles with rendering this game #Those frames are gone now #You've likely only seen the bad versions though

[dayurno]

this is somewhat of a vent post & something i said i would not do again but has been plaguing me enough that i think getting it out might feel better. so. has anydoggy else been. Baffled and upset by nora sakavic’s refusal to speak on how terribly aftg has treated its characters of color? with the author of the series coming back with a new book and starting up on her online activity again, and questions of what she’d change about aftg bubbling up, it’s particularly glaring to me that we are all playing this very long game of pretend where we ignore how badly the non-white cast has been treated & her lack of thoughts on it

and i understand not wanting to bring up nicky and thea because people pick on her for it. i’m not trying to discredit nora sakavic’s terrible history of getting harrassed online by aftg fans. but i think it is very cynical, and it is very juvenile, and most of all very cruel, that she gets to ignore the very real ways the books have set up these characters to be hated. i think it’s obvious why the characters who get the most hate are the only canonical characters of color, and i think we do not get to treat this like a deliberate decision on the fandom’s part when the books have put these same characters in degrading and embarrassing and terrible positions in the first place. aftg is not a story about nice characters with clean pasts, but there is a very specific nastiness to the only characters of color being a brown man who sexually harasses and later assaults the main character, a black woman whose only scene is her lashing out at her love interest after being ignored for the first two books, and the japanese villain who gets maybe two lines of complexity before he goes back to being a terrible person. the white cast, in comparison, while not at all free from flaws, are never shown to commit mindless evil; all of their actions are ultimately justified. the book goes out of its way to give them concession after concession. we know exactly who to side with, because aftg tells us who these people are. does nicky’s assault ever get addressed in the books? does riko’s reasoning to be the way that he is ever gets more than briefly aluded to? is thea reserved even a shred of humanity or grace in her one scene?

anyway. it’s been years of talking about this and the fandom has been constantly hostile to criticism in this regard, and more recently any criticism at all, and it’s Grating to be on the other side of this discussion. it’s exhausting to know that in ten years we do not get even an acknowledgment besides the author saying she will not answer questions about nicky and thea anymore. it’s upsetting and it’s ugly and i wish no one had to talk about this again, but we do because what i thought was common sense has been washed away by a sudden influx of no-nuance adoration for the trilogy. basically i hope we all explode

two hours later edit: you're allowed to reblog this! sorry about the confusion

#this has been so upsetting to notice but 🥹whatever #there is a different kind of bitterness to thinking about how ten years have passed #and we are getting new content that changes and maybe even rectifies many of the ways we see and interact w aftg #and none of it not a bit of it addresses the racism #how it’s been ten years and the only thing we really get to show it is a book about a ship between two white men the fandom came up with #after seeing them be Suggested to interact in canon #i understand not wanting to hurt nora sakavics feelings by asking her about this #but imagine how tired we are. Imagine how tired we are #do you know how bad it feels to read through nicky’s worst moments in aftg #and know that he was written this way because he looks like me? #do you understand how exhausting it all is. can you imagine? #the fandom has been so quick to undo the criticism fans of colors have been making since day one #and for what. for what! my doves. for what? #have we come out of it any greater? have we done anything but lie to ourselves? #and anyway this is not some mindless pessimism #this is not me telling you that aftg is bad and you cant love it; cant have it mean anything to you #this is me saying that when we acknowledge these things it makes us better readers and better people #nora sakavic if you are reading this from whatever hellhole america you find yourself in #grabs you by the shoulders. This is not the end #this is not something to sit back and feel bad about #you have opened the floodgates of hell with tsc. kick the door in and release a revised version of aftg #there is a real material way for you to make this better. it is possible and it will not kill you #i would read a revised aftg. my mutuals would. many many many many fans would #making mistakes is not just a human right its a human inevitability #but we do not have to let ourselves get defined by them. We can do hard things #lets go of nora sakavics shoulders. anyway. where were we #aftg #txt #tsc

[pendr4gonz]

sure. whatever. yuri chaeya dressed as shuake. okay.

#this hopefully appeals to An Audience. however niche it may be #chaeya #childe #kaeya alberich #genshin fanart #my art #shuake #? #drew them a week apart. one at like 2 am the other at 4 #also while i was looking at references for the hair i noticed how PALE they actually are in game #like we all know that 99% of genshin characters are almost paper white but i didnt remember it to be THIS BAD #like. im pretty sure the color i used at the highlight for kaeyas nose IS her skin color in game. its insane to me #but what can you expact from mhy #okay erm rant over? #yuri #artists on tumblr #genshin impact

[makeitlookdecent]

face

#i draw kalsit but she ends up looking kinda like siege; i use her face i look like jessica i cant win #sadge #its her 90's hair air vents -n-) #arknights #arknights kal'tsit #arknights doctor #also very happy mspaint doesnt erase transparent anymore! #i mean i cant draw with the eraser like before but the change in size for the pen is nice so not that bad #also idk if mine just glitches but i'd go to color erase (turn a color a diff color by singling it out w/eraser) #and it just deleted parts of my picture as if i held erase and moved screen (i was zoomed in so i didnt notice) #and i couldnt undo it. idk what happened but i guess i'll save more often and color erase zoomed out #anyway back to kaltsit: i hate her clothes its easy when simple but so so hard when u wanna draw it on...whats the word #on file? on chart?? when you draw them with the details a character is supposed to have. on reference???? #anyway idk how things connect ;;0;; #edit: ITS CALLED ON MODEL!!! it hard to draw her clothes on model

[ichthyorelationships]

only just processed that luca added the flames to the colander helmet...implicitly b/c of alberto’s “also i added flames” dream vespa design alteration...

#like evidence afterwards that someone was paying real attention even when at the time the other party felt ignored / tuned out....So sweet. #which also my audhd life experiences like. if i learn anyone ever absorbed anything i said it's like oh whoa living large lmao #anyways the point is it only occurred to me the other day lol. like i'd noticed the flames but just didn't piece anything else together #i Love how many like. threads & details you Can piece together like that but are just kind of quietly in the bg otherwise #and fun how everything luca needs for the race is definitely like Somewhere Underwater...colander fell in the sea...bike by the sunken boat #god knows what color situation i fumbled my way into here. so the classic spin of just like Also there's more stripped down versions #who knows if i'll like do more of a full color approach version. they can't stop you. nor stop you from just posting lineart #or stop me from going off the walls w/their tail lengths lol #luca #luberto #lucalberto #😚😚😚 #fish freckles you are everything to me... #eta not me forgetting to save the [solid bg color]less pngs as transparent....i was up all night #didn't help w/the color selecting that i'm bad at anytime lol #ok hopefully now they're actually transparent #smhhh now i've realized i forgot a little line to indicate webbing betwixt alberto's fingers there #not as big a deal as how i ALMOST forgot to include any of their arm/leg fins. i'll fix it if i do the [full coloring] deal lol. imagine it #yet another eta: occurs to me i could've made alberto purpler & the bg blue. well;

[luck-of-the-drawings]

I LOOOVE LOVE ALL THE NPCS IN PRIME DEFENDERS!! THEYRE EACH SO UNIQUE AND COOL, WITH THE GREATEST THING YOU CAN POSSIBLY GIVE TO SUPER HEROS IN A SUPER HERO UNIVERSE: WAAACKY FUCKIN SUPER POWERS!! (MADE WITH ONLY PEN AND COLORED PENCILES, MISTAKES CORRECTED WITH PAPER N GLUE)

#jrwi prime defenders #jrwi fanart #jrwi show #QUIIIICK TAKE IT BEFORE I NOTICE MORE PROBLAMS!! THIS TOOK TOOOO LONG TO MAKE #I STRUGGLED WITH THE COLORS BECAUSE you see. i had ONLY red pens and orange pens but NO pencils of the color #ALSO no brown pencil so i HAD TO COLOR MIX FOR THE SHADES. It was only today that i got a brown pencil (not even a good one) #i scribbled on a paper with the red n oranges to put it on lightly and it was HARD but i think it worked okay #NOT BAD FOR MY STUPID SEt up where i only use what i can steals from left over things at the school i work at #ANYWYAY SO PRIME DEFENDERS HUH #SIUDDENLY GOT OBBSESSED WITH IT AGAIN OUTA NOWHERE AUUGHHH THE BRAIN ROOOOTTTTM #I REALLY LOVE HOW THE NEW EPISODES HAVE BEEN GOING TEHEHEHEEE #I LOOVE THAT ALASTYR CROSS IS HERE MY BABY BOOYYY LOOK AT HIM ALL GROWN UP #HES SO STRANGE AND ODD AND SILLY AND POSSIBLY DANGEROUS #I ALSO LOVE FLOW!! IVE ONLY KNOWN HER A DAY AND UHH I WOULD UHH I WOULDD WAVE AT HER N SAY HAIIIII :333 #OH ALSO UH #SO THE UH #SO LE FROG AND WORDSMITH HUH #YOU HAD ME AT 'but i LOVE youu' #LIKE IMAGINE RIGHT? LIKE JUST THINK ABOUT IT? JUST PONDER IT FORA SEC #IMAGINE THOSE TWO ON A COFFEE DATE WITH LEFROG IN FULL COSTUME AND WORDSMITH ACTIVELY TRYING TO LEAVE #I SHIP EM NOT BC THEY WORK WELL TOGETHER IM SHIPPIN EM BC ITS SOOOOO FUNNY #BUT REMEMBER. THE SLIPPERY SLOPE OF CRACKSHIPS. CRACKS CAN LEAD TO CAVERNS. AND 40 TO 50 PEOPLE GET LOST IN CAVES PER YEAR #ANYWAY THAT S MY RAMBLE I AHVE TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW #BAIII THANKS FOR READIN MY RAMBLES

[honeysweetcorvidart]

reaching levels of Normal About Joker never before thought possible, actually

#persona 5 #persona 5 protagonist #akira kurusu #ren amimaya #art #digital art #sketch #you know i have it bad for a character if they can make me add COLOR. #lookin cool joker etc #the way this went was me saying ‘how slutty should i make him on a scale of 1-10?’ and having two different people tell me. confidently. 12 #if you notice anything about him in that lowest one. no you don’t.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent

#I am still very into trash collecting at the moment and even went out and got one of those grabby sticks for cheap and a little #bucket I can carry around and put trash in. so I am going on walks in nature a bit more (not really to enjoy nature but more to play the #very fun Real Life Hidden Object Point And Click Game that is 'hunt for bottle caps and cans' .. but eh.. whatever gets me out of the #house lol).. anyway.. some nature places near water will have cool rocks #Which I know you're not supposed to take them and I MOSTLY dont.. but every once in a while it's like... when else will I ever find a #gouda rock... I have cleaned up 4 buckets of trash today.. I have helped the environment.. mayhaps.. i could take a One Single Rocke as a #treate... ANYWAY. but yeah. I don't know the names of rocks but there's a rock that's a matte muted marigold yellow sort of #color and I call them 'cheese rock'. I'm pretty sure this one is of the 'cheese rock' species but it just has weird brown coloration #like maybe it got stained or something on one side of it. Most of the other cheese rocks have no markings. though sometimes there will be a #auburn reddish sort of hue on a corner or something.. hrmm.. curious. I also got a Beginner's Hobby rock tumbler and some supplies #so I might try polishing some of the rocks from my enormous rock collection. even though they're all street rocks I picked up from sidewalk #and stuff. I saw a video where someone put random gravel and stuff in a rock tumbler and none of them were Stunning Gems or whatver #but some still turned out cool enough that I would be pleased with the result... OUgh.. I want to post more I need to like do costumes and #sculptures and stuff and be Active On Social Media and think about my Future and Career and how it always benefits artists to keep an #active social media or etc. but I just feel so tired and bad lately. I think the summer heat waves have really exhausted me. I also have #been trying to make new friends + on a weird schedule so I've been socializing and also watching media too much. I notice I always start #to feel this kind of unsettled stress of not making any forward progress in my life if I do that for too long. like 'Okay this week I've #done nothing but meet up with two friends & watch like 10 episodes of tv and only worked on a few projects on the side.. this is HORRIBLE!' #(ppl who follow me here that I talk to on discord: this isn't about you! Im specifically just referencing being tired of introductory talks #with a new round of random strangers during my Friend Hunt. Just clarifying so it couldn't be misinterpreted as vaguepost implying that I'm #secretly bothered by talking to you or etc. lol.. anyway) . Which I know to MOST people 'I talked to a lot of friends and watched some cool #stuff!' sounds like a GOOD relaxing time but.. to me it is not ghhj.. Those are 'external' focuses on things outside myself which bothers #me if not moderated. Like.. i MUST retreat internally to work on my worldbuilding and my own thoughts and etc. at very regular intervals or #it will really start to bear on me too much. Brain Mandated Hermit Isolation lol. Just being too detached from my world and stuff for #too long feels increasingly bad. PLUS. every day I don't make tangible progress towards my goals is a day wasted that I could have been #investing in my future by working on novels/games/sculptures/actual career relevant stuff. Not even in a Capitalism way i just genuinely #enjoy Completing Tasks & feel miserable if I don't for too long. EVEN the media I'm watching I turn into A Task since I rank in a detailed #google doc list after viewing lol.. Like EW movie too boring on it's own. NEED to turn it into something I can categorize and analyze ghghj #LOVE to make things more complicated than they need to be. like YAAAY organizational tasks! yaay meticulous sorting!! BOO ''mindless fun''!

[st4rstudent]

Questioni, whoms art thou? (What does your toon look like?)

👀

Orb Giblets (Imagine I'm looking off to the sky)

If you're talking about ingame, here's what he looks like!

I usually go with the right one bc I think it looks better, but the yellow hypno glasses were apart of the fit for so long (++ they help bring out the yellow) that sometimes I still wear them for fun

Art wise, here's a quick sketch-that-got-out-of-hand of him

I have an older post of the first time I drew him so the styles a bit.. outdated but its colored.

I'll write more about him in the tags as to not make this post longer than needed

#orb giblets #clemart #not putting this in the ttcc tag #nevermind it went in the tag anyways im embarassed #anyways the first time i drew him i didnt really draw his snout bc i didnt understand how to. #the theme with him is graduation bc of the hat so the gown he's wearing is supposed to be a sort of graduation gown. this was mainly just t #match with the hat but also bc i started to pick back up ttcc a lot more when i was closer to graduating hs #he has a little mouse tail as a reminiscence of his old self (used to be a mouse) and also bc i like drawing long tails but have found out #loathe linearting them #ongoing bit that after he graduated he runs a berry review channel on yt but theyre all rotten. all the berries in his basket are rotten an #smell really bad and also he loves to burrow and dig so the gown is torn and dirty at the bottoms and hes not helpful at all to the #resistance. no one invited him . he sees a cog and starts burrowing #also his fingers are claws but i decided to be merciful and give him cartoon physics so he can move them now #also clem funfact the star on the top part of the gown is not a button its just a design with the shirt bc ever since i was young #ive had this weird discomfort of (the texture of) buttons which is also why if you've noticed. i dont draw suits or anything with buttons #felt the need to share just for clarity . scratches my head you probably didnt need to know that #anyways i hope this answered your question ! smile #i might color that drawing in later i kindof like it #clemask

[uncaught-coolfish]

unpopular opinion the Maya models don’t look bad at all. But at the same time the only ones that look good to me are the ones in darker clothing, with darker skin, etc etc because YOU CANT TELL THERES NO FUCKING TEXTURING!!!!!!!!!

#rwde #also mostly talking about how the Maya models looked in v4-5 and somewhat 6 because #Wow the moment they put in that really chunky shading that looks ugly. IT LOOKED UGLY #characters like ilia looked good to me. no im not saying that cuz im her bff bestie forever friendship bracelet im genuine #adams design fucking sucked but I will not lie he looked good. and he looked fucking stellar in the short with his old design. #though again. that short had bloom lighting. and bloom lighting clutches all #they made his horns look like horns! yes we lost the mask texturing in the war but also WE GAVE HIS ASS ACTUAL HORN LOOKING HORNS!!!!! #ok enough stroking the only two characters I talk about on this account. #nora looked good! she wore bright colors yes but she also had that blacker jacket. #Ruby’s design also sucked but imo i feel it translated decently into Maya! #but then we get to v7 and you can noticeably tell stuff starts looking shitty outside of the backgrounds. #They smoothed out the girls faces. Will not lie it sometimes looks like they just copied Ruby’s base four times #and only editted the busy size or height to make the girls. The shading makes stuff look bad. The bloom lighting is gone. #Obviously I’m not wanting to blame the animators or modelers as they are for sure overworked to make this. #And as A 3D animator and modeler myself I do genuinely hope these people can be treated well. #But sadly just…. the models after v7 ain’t it for me

[blackstarising]

sowing (getting more men of color as antagonists and or villains in media which is indeed sexy and great) and reaping (fandom primarily associating them with sexual aggression and animalistic traits and not giving them the same emotional and intellectual depth they do for white antagonists for Some Reason)

#copied and editied this from a text i sent my friend but....listen #key word is primarily!!! #like yes this is about atsv and m***** o**** atm but. i'm a coward so it stays in the void for now #don't think i didn't notice it with namor when wakanda forever came out either!!!!! #it's not that men of color Can't be sexual! if we're starting with that bad faith argument but like. there is so much smut #especially violent smut in these characters' tags #the implications are not good! they're not great!!! #something something how men of color are framed as hypersexual and aggressive by default #how can loki get paragraphs of meta-analysis and with antagonists of color it's “he throws you into a wall” All The Time #innieways

[widevibratobitch]

.

#coming to tumblr for the first time in three days just to bitch because i feel like shit <333 #sorry if i havent responded to your message i will as soon as i get a grip but rn im just too busy #both with uni and with crying because a friend said a mean thing to me lol #and because im tired of this new friendship already and tired of hearing this girl talking how great she is lol #am i jealous? fuck yeah i am. #and it's not like she's mean like straight up. cause like. #when i say im really considering quitting and dropping out she tries to encourage me ig #but then she follows it up with 'ofc *I* never had a problem with this and that because it always just came naturally to me teehee #but yknow. dont give up uwu' #and she keeps sending me recordings of her singing to tell her how good she is and always tells me how her teacher praises her #and like. its cool. like i get it that its a nice feeling when you do something well and wanna share that joy with a friend #but idk. i just think its kinda. well not mean but a litt #*a little tone deaf? when ive just been telling her that im in a Bad Place rn and my voice isnt working as it should #and my pianist is bullying me and i end up crying on almost every lesson #and she hits me with a 'damn that sucks fuck that pianist dont give up tho <3 #now do you wanna listen to me sing bel raggio lusinghier like a pro and my professor telling me i am sublime?' #also when i tell her that im sorry that im not very social and i just cannot stay and chat cause im having a horrible day today #and really dont feel well and she's like 'yeah i havent noticed anything you're always like that... *side eye*' in a way that suggests #im a horrible friend cause im not talking with her enough and yet again im disappointing her (aint that familiar lol) #i just. idk. the last two-three weeks have been absolutely horrible to me. i cant get out of bed i havent done a single colorful make up #in so long ive basically forgotten how to do that. and i loved doing fun make up looks that make people tell me i look like a clown. #but i just dont have the energy to do anything more than put on a random tshirt and spray dry shampoo on my unwashed hair #i dont even wear my rings anymore. ive stopped caring about being the pinkest slayest queerest looking bitch in the room cause i just. cant #and even some casual friend of mine asked me yesterday if im okay cause they can see something is Not Right. but SHE not only doesnt notice #anything. i have a feeling she feels like im disappoing and neglecting her because i cant be bothered to text with her 24/7 #like idk. maybe its just my imagination but i barely even feel like an actual person. more like just a homunculus made to trail after her #and listen to her bragging about how pretty/talented/unbothered she is #oh and also for her to keep dissing m/ozart lol like idk why it hurts me so bad but then ig its not that unusual to feel shitty #when someone keeps talking shit about something you really love and are passionate about and making you feel like an idiot #because you like it. because its stupid and boring and you're a simpleton for enjoying it instead of liking sth more 'ambitious'

[twilightarcade]

meow :3

color refs for me 🔥🔥🔥🔥

nevaeh thompson, she/he - secretary but not in a sexy way more of a bit of a loser way. They’re all losers

Jacob “”””””jake””””” Mulligan, he/they - always put a particular amount of spiteful emphasis on his nickname being jake if you do mention it, unless you just want to be normal about it

going to let you in on a little secret everyone here really uses any pronouns because like. That’s not my job. Make ur own pronouns dude. But also they CANT so I’m sitting here assigning arbitrary pronouns to them

#notwordswordstag #caustic corp #this pose was originally for a bigger piece I doubt you’ll see but if you do then this drawing doesn’t exist ok? #you may notice they all have slightly different tints of white it doesn’t really mean anything unless you make it which you can #but it’s mainly what goes with their design #iris' white is literally off magenta and I'm not really sure how that happened #they all end up either red or blue and it's super noticeable when they're standing next to eachother and I'm going to try to remedy this in #the future #but also it's not too big of a big deal because 90% of the time I go a bit off ref anyways #their EARINGS' colors however are chosen with a tiny bit more care #idk why this is captioned meow but it's staying <3 #I need to start drawing at a reasonable brightness because I swear to you nevaehs face was near unreadable as I was drawing this and I fel #felt bad because I couldnt see what was going on but couldn't fix that #looking at it again it's not nearly that bad #I also neglected to color some of the outlines because they looked about the same color and I figured coloring them wouldn't make much of #a difference but I was WRONG like a fool but it doesn't effect the drawing as a while much #I didn't make the upper half of jacobs arm defined but that's just a him problem I think. I'm not responsible for his arm (I am) #eventually I'll do a wip dump and you'll get to look at all the art that's never getting finished but would be pretty cool if it did #she's holding her clipboard close to her chest which is something I changed from the original because she was #going to hold it behind her back but you couldn't see it then. rude. #specifically with the papers facing away from her

[caffeinatedopossum]

It's kind of jarring to be reminded that everyone around me has always had more than me (aside from a select few). Like I just forget until it comes down to something mundane like buying shoes and I don't know my shoe size because for most of my life I've had one pair of shoes that I wear until they break. And it was usually something someone either got me as a gift (horrified that my shoes were wearing out. As if thats not what shoes do when you wear them) or they were passed down and I grew into them.

Like that's just normal for me. It doesn't bother me either, this isn't a pity party. It's just surreal that it bothers other people sometimes

#i don't really feel like ive been that poor either #most of the things i needed and didnt get were things me/my family could have afforded but refused to #i figured 'if I'd rather save up my money to get some new coloring books than to buy some new shoes i probably dont need them that bad' #maybe those are decisions they havent had to make #i cant be jealous because i cant imagine what thats like #i simply cant imagine it #oof now im remembering the only time i actually had to ask for new shoes and i didnt #i was growing out of my shoes and getting blisters from it but i kept putting off getting new shoes #because idk i guess it just didnt bother me that much until it started to hurt really bad #and i didnt want to ask my mom for anything either because yeah #she was the type of parent you dont ask for things from #eventually someone else noticed and said something along the lines of 'if you dont get him new shoes then i will' to my mom #and then she got mad that i didnt tell her? #it was all so confusing to me then but i understand why now. she just wanted to hide the neglect. she didnt really care about anything else #its why everything was fine and she never thought i needed anything until someone else said something about it #even with my eating disorder... she knew what i was doing but she didnt interfere until someone else told her i looked sick #but that wasnt until years after the problem started. funny how that works isnt it

[star-ocean-peahen]

oh i don’t like this I don’t like this at all

i took a decongestant today and it’s being Really Weird because all my thoughts are round and soft and I’m not constantly aware of all stimuli and my thoughts keep stopping and starting and I can daydream for hours and hours without moving but I can’t make myself think about other people or plan for anything and I kinda feel like I’m not all here and did I mention the worst part:

i!! cant!! stim!! anymore!! none of them are comforting like they used to be and im not falling apart right now because this state of mind makes me feel nice and not need them and i felt exactly this way for years a few years back this is so fucking weird

#im probably gonna be fine dw #its probs gonna go away by tomorrow #and i am going to miss a few things about processing this way #(not in the least the constant tenseness in my muscles holy shit this is sounding bad) #but I like having my sense of empathy so give it back fuckers I miss what loving people feels like #something something grieving something something #I have no idea what’s going on right bow #hey anybody who knew me a year ago can you say if I sound noticeably like I did back then #bc this tag rambling ease feels familiar #anyway if I sound high yeah my mom thinks so too ✌️ #my thoughts are orange right now and usually orange is a bad color for thoughts but it’s a good color right now and I don’t know how #i feel about that #lassie vents #vent #lassie’s feb 2023 mental breakdown

[goldkirk]

on the one hand, my desperation to vanish safely behind a large hoodie and jeans out in public the whole day today is overwhelming, but on the other hand, it is literally august and one of the hottest days yet and I WILL get sick if I wear anything more than a light shirt and shorts inside OR outside

#i need to not be perceived #but i get stressed out trying to even buy a hoodie for myself bc there are too many considerations and I don’t know what shape or fabric or #color or size to get #and that’s all moot anyway because a hoodie will kill me temperature wise even if it’s light #and i also can’t risk wearing oversized hoodies and stuff in public because that could make me a target you know? #like i already am struggling to figure out what clothes let me fly under the radar and #what clothes make people here notice me weird #and drawing attention #is bad and makes people think I’m Off #and i already get enough odd vibes from just like the plain tshirts i wear bc it’s obvious they’re not #normal brands or fabric quality or whatever #etc etc blah blah blah #and Im probably overthinking it but I don’t know HOW to pick out clothes from the full range of options and I don’t know HOW to blend in #in the right ways I just know what it looks like when it doesn’t happen #etc etc #this is a non issue #but i don’t want to have to learn these things and I don’t want to have to make decisions and I don’t want to be terrified of both my body #and all other people anymore this is so wrong and it shouldn’t be this hard #personal #shh katie