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queenofcoquette · 9 months

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anti-aging: the good and the bad

not to be all “we live in a society” but i’ve noticed that on social media at least, there’s horrible discourse about anti-aging, pushed by beauty companies that pressure people into botox, fixating on their apperance. etc. so i want to talk about the good and the bad- agingin healthily vs. being superficial.

anti aging- the good:

good mobility/flexibility. a lot of older people get injuries due to their lack of mobility and flexibility. as we age we naturally lose these skills, but by working out and staying consistent we can ensure that we’re strong even when we’re older.

healthy diet. younger people usually don’t think too much about their diet, since our bodies just kinda take care of themselves most of the time. but for an older person an unhealthy diet can lead to a whole lot of problems, so it’s important to invest in a good diet that keeps you healthy and happy.

healthy lifestyle. staying active now and when we’re older is another way to stay young, mentally and physically. having good hygeine, having hobbies, things like that. take care of your body, not just for the sake of looking good, but for the sake of feeling good.

staying mentally sharp. another factor to anti-aging is constantly learning. keeping an open mind and being fascinated by things. continuing to learn instead of being stuck on the past.

living life to the fullest. life shouldn’t stop when you turn 60 or whatever. my grandma’s sister is one of the strongest people i know. she lost her son and her husband yet even in her late 70s she volunteers, she went to Hawaii. her life is still fun and she’s surrounded by people she loves!

anti aging- the bad:

fixating on wrinkles. having good skincare and sun protection is important for the health of our skin, but fixating on not having wrinkles can be damaging. certain skin conditions can lead to getting wrinkles younger, or just if your skin is drier or oilier. i’m tired of seeing influencers pushing ‘anti wrinkle straws’ or telling people to smile less. its dumb- we’re all gonna get wrinkles.

fixating on a youthful appearance. we only have a bit of control over how “youthful” you look. like if you have a more angular face and dry skin, you’ll look less youthful then someone with a rounder face and oily skin. there’s no way to control that, so who cares?

what we can do:

stop giving in to these toxic ideas. i see so many girls on TikTok freaking out about wrinkles and all those things. i was scared a while ago cuz when i smile i have tiny lines on the corner of my eye- but i realized everyone my age has those! stop engaging in toxic content.

health over beauty. focus on longevity- working out to be strong in the future, eating good to feel good when we’re older. when you prioritize being healthy you’ll automatically look younger. so you’ll look and feel good- it’s a win win!

keep learning. even when we get older we should always prioritize learning new things and broadening our mind. my grandpa is 83 but he’s still open-minded, he’s willing to hear different political points and that keeps him young.

reflecting. age only brings wisdom if you’re willing to learn and reflect.

remember that life never loses meaning as old as we are. the people who think life stops being fun when you’re 40 are the people who act old. plenty of people can be old and have fun. i saw a 97ish year old guy who goes to the gym everyday, a 93 year old lady on Instagram celebrating pride and going to parties with her friends. life only stops being fun when we close off our minds.

conclusion:

instead of fearing what we’ll look like in 60 years, let’s think about how we can live our best life 60 years from now. anti-aging should be about health, to live life to the fullest when we’re older, instead of worrying about little things that don’t matter. life is kinda short, so we should make the most of it, and ensure that we can always have fun. we shouldn’t spend our whole lives worrying about wrinkles or living in the delusion that life stops being fun with age. living long is a blessing that we should all use to the best of our ability. life only stops being good when you give up.

#self improvement #that girl #that girl 2023 #queenofcoquette

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abruisedmuse · 1 year

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Idk if you're ever gonna see this but did you ever end up writing the Elucien full fic you wanted to make back in April? The one where he meets and startles her late at night. I just couldn't find the link and I really wanted to read it. No worries if it doesn't exist! Just thought I'd ask :)

*Sorry for any typos. I can’t find my glasses and my vision sucks lmao

Hey Love!

I've been sitting on this ask for about a week unsure how to answer. (I didn’t mean to have it sit that long I was busy with Halloween.) Even though it's a relatively easy answer I wanna take this opportunity to state why my answer is what it is. I made a post a few months back but I can’t locate it.

Wouldn’t be surprised if I upset some people with this response but I need to get it all out. To be honest and transparent (blame the trauma and anxiety hooray!) I’m going to preface this by saying when I say acotar fandom, mention shippers or character stans I don’t mean all of them. I’ve met some amazing people within this fandom who I love to bits, it’s just better to use broader terms. I don’t mean to offended these are just my personal thoughts and how I feel as an individual. If anyone reading this does get offended well that says more about you than me doesn’t it?

Short answer: it’s in my docs. No I don’t have plans to finish it at the moment.

And here's why aka the long answer:

I am taking a huge step back from acotar. To put it simply, since acosf especially it hasn’t been a good fandom. There's been so much toxicity and immaturity within it. And Its honestly exhausting to see. No matter what social media you're on people are just...well they're ugly about alot of topics. Whether its ship wars, characters, or the story itself. It's just this circle you know? It's not just the E/riels or the Rhys can do no wrong stans. There's negativity in every corner of this fandom. Yes, all fandoms have this. Were all human and we wanna defend what we enjoy and what characters we like. However with the length people go to in this fandom to attack one another is shocking. People will literally chase someone on social media to drag them because of their opinions. I've seen this type of behavior in Harry Potter, Supernatural, Star Wars, Game of Thrones, a little in Stranger Things etc. Name a fandom I’ve seen it. I’ve never seen it to the magnitude that is Acotar. I mean I got dragged for posting a vote for overlays that I’m buying, people have poked fun of Sjm’s kids, bullying artists on insta, fic writers to the point they don’t want to be active anymore, commenting/reblogging fics with how much they hate the ship, among other things.

Around the time I began working on this fic there was more E/riel, Gwynriel, Elucien drama. On top of my recent experience with the voting this just added to my unhappiness and cause me to realize that I had fallen out of love with this fandom. I didn't wanna write for it. I didn't wanna make edits or posts for it anymore. Because why? Why dedicate my time and energy for such a hateful fandom? You’d think the toxic fans would be tired. But no. It’s always the fans that wanna be active and enjoy the space that become tired. That’s what I am. Tired. I’m over it. I know I’m not the only one.

I would really love to finish that fic and perhaps one day once I’ve distanced myself for some time and feel good going back I will. I do know what happens and it gets bad before it gets better. Because your ask was so sweet if you want the breakdown/outline of what happens I’d be happy to answer that. Aside from that consider me on hiatus from the acotar fandom. (You can still send me asks about acotar or anything sjm. but as far as original content it’s gonna be a long time.)

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survey--s · 2 years

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369.

What weird food combinations do you enjoy? The main one that comes to mine is apple slices and mayonnaise. I tried it once by accident (had a load of stuff on a plate and dipped the apple into mayonnaise without looking) and it was really nice, haha.

Where do you get your news? Mostly social media, but when the Queen died we did put the TV on and watch it on there for a bit as it was such a historical moment for our country really.

What social stigma does society need to get over? Women having children by different fathers.

What was the last photo you took? My three cats all sitting in a row and staring at me, lol.

What are you currently worried about? I’m not really actively worried about anything right now. I just have a feeling I’m about to get my period and I could really do without that this week, ha.

Do you think aliens exist? Absolutely. Not in the sense of little green men, but I think the universe is way too big for us to be all there is.

What mythical creature do you wish actually existed? Unicorns.

What are you interested in that most people aren't? Taking surveys, lol.

What's the most ridiculous thing you have bought? I’ve bought plenty of daft things over the years, to be honest. I couldn’t pick one particular item that stands out though.

What sounds hit you with major nostalgia every time you hear them? The song Umbrella by Rihanna, the Neighbours’ theme tune, the Disney “home video” music.

If given the opportunity to open a museum, what kind would you create? Honestly, I have no real interest in opening any kind of museum. They’ve never appealed to me at all.

When was the last time you immediately regretted what you said? I honestly couldn’t tell you.

What's the silliest thing you've seen someone get upset about? Oh, all sorts of things. I had a customer yell at me because we’d sold out of breaded ham once, hahah. I mean, honestly. What was the best thing that happened to you today? It’s the weekend so I got a lie in, lol.

Do you consider yourself a good cook? I’m not a bad cook, but I don’t enjoy cooking so it’s not really something I ever bother with. It’s just too time-consuming for me.

What's the dumbest thing someone has argued with you about? Oh who knows - I can argue about anything given half the chance, lol.

What did you google last? The photo that’s on the top of this survey.

What fashion trend makes you cringe or laugh everytime you see it? Crocs. I DON’T GET IT. Also high-waisted “mom” jeans.

What's your favorite holiday movie? Love Actually, Elf, Nightmare Before Christmas, The Holiday.

How ambitious are you? It depends. If it’s about something I love, I can be incredibly ambitious but I’m also naturally quite a lazy person, hahah.

What topic could you spend forever talking about? Beagles or dogs in general.

Which way should toilet paper hang, over or under? Over, always over. Only psychopaths hang it under, lol.

What word is a lot of fun to say? Discombobulation.

If you didn't have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? If I never felt tired, I’d probably work some more and earn more money, ride more often and be more sociable.

Are you usually early or late? I’m always early. I find it really disrespectful when people are late.

What do you wish you knew more about? Dog training and behaviour.

What is the most annoying question you've been asked? It annoys me when people ask about whether we’re going to have children. I think some people don’t realise just how intrusive that kind of question is.

How different was your life 1 year ago? Not very different, really.

What quirks do you have? I’m really sensitive to certain food textures.

What movie title best describes your life? I have no idea. What was the last lie you told? Again, no idea.

What type of music do you listen to? All sorts - country, musical soundtracks, rock, pop, indie etc.

Are you a good listener? No.

What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Raspberry or chocolate.

Do you think you're brave? In some respects, yes.

What are you most grateful for in your life? My health, my marriage, my family and my animals.

What is a relationship deal breaker for you? Abusive behaviours, controlling behaviours.

What are some things that give you complete peace of mind? A good night’s sleep, being at home with my animals and my husband.

Would you like to explore another planet? Yep, that would be absolutely amazing. Who was your favorite cartoon character as a child? Arthur.

What would you do if you were the president of your own country? Sort out the universal credit system, and make sure everyone was eligible for full sick pay if needed.

#survey #surveys

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livingwithlosingyou · 2 years

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Living with Losing You - 8/26/2022

I am EXHAUSTED.

Today was a good day, but a very tiring one. I started off with laying in bed until 7:00am (this is late for me, I am usually up at 6:30am doing stuff). I completed my EDD form, and then took Sadie on a quick walk. Then, I came back and made a smoothie, then dropped her off at camp so I could run some errands before the cross country meet later in the day.

After I dropped her off, I headed to Walmart to grab a few things that I’ve needed. I also had the intention of trying to get a stop watch, but I couldn’t find one there. After I grabbed what I needed, I decided to check Play It Again sports for a stop watch as well. Unfortunately, they did not have one either. I ended up texting Teague and luckily he had a spare. I should have just checked a Big 5 or something. I feel like I still have “Grief + Sickness” brain. I did remember to mail in our Jury Duty letters and my 401K transfer from when I worked at Daybreak (I know, super late). I was happy with my productivity today.

I then headed home because I told one of your buddies that I would give him a call so we could talk. It’s been nice to connect to people who knew you because I feel like it keeps you alive, but also allows me to process it all. We had a really great conversation about addiction, my past, his past, our past, etc. I am trying to be as open about it all as possible. It can be hard sometimes because I try to block the bad.

I ordered Chipotle during the call, and it was not good. This is what I get for trying to multi-task. This is the second DoorDash order that has not been good, so this was disappointing. You know how I am with spicy. I cannot hang. I just ate what I could and put the rest in my fridge, This is when you would come in and eat all my leftovers / spicy food. I miss sharing meals with you. I powered through it though as I was on the phone. I knew that right after the call I would immediately have to get ready for the cross country meet.

I quickly changed, packed my bag, and headed to the meet. I felt a little flustered, because this would be the first time I had to manage all the boys on my own. Fortunately the women’s head coach was able to ride with the team on the bus and sort through the bibs, etc. This was honestly a huge help.

I love that I am coaching. It is so much fun, This boy’s team is so great, and i feel fortunate to have the opportunity to be their coach and mentor them throughout this season (and more). They all ran well and tried their best today, and we had some great performances. Another aspect that is really great about coaching is that a lot of people that graduated within a year or my (or my year) are back and coaching. It makes me feel old, but also goes to show the positive impact that all of our coaches had on us. Now, we want to be able to be to them what our coaches were to us. I miss you pretty consistently, but this is a healthy distraction. I am manifesting that we will win league, do top 3 in CIF, and then go to state. It’s going to happen.

I was pretty tired today though. It’s really the first time I have done anything that active in weeks. I am already in bed and it’s none something. Luckily my parents agreed to pick up Sadie which was super helpful. After the meet, I went to In n Out to grab dinner then headed to my parents to quickly grab Sadie.

I got home and caught up on most of my texts and messages on social media. It has meant a lot. So many people have reached out to check on me, or just say that they appreciate my vulnerability with my grief. I believe that it is SO important for me to use platforms like this to create normalcy to the rollercoaster that is grief. I have already been looking back and seeing how it evolves each day. Everyday is different. No day is necessarily easier yet, it’s just that some days I am able to hone in on that gratitude more than others.

I ate my In n Out and was completely planning on eating some ice cream after I ate my meal, but I honestly just wanted to shower and get ready for bed. That’s how you know I am tired. If I skip dessert.

I love you. Thank you for loving me too, as much as you could.

Rest in Peace, James Burton Nichols

10/1/1993 - 7/16/2022

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softmafia · 2 years

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Fluffy Hisoka Headcanons

Warnings: blank

A/n: might be a little bit ooc buttttt I couldn’t help myself, I want this man to be normal so bad I have a problem.

Cooking together every night, although if he gets home before you he’ll start dinner right then. And you’ll come home to the house smelling delicious, and Hisoka surprising you with food. Sometimes you guys will order take out or something too and eat it together, snuggled up on the couch.

He’s not really talkative, but he’ll enjoy hearing you ramble about your day and so forth, especially after a big mission.

If you come home with wounds then Hisoka’s got you, he has experience with patching himself up when nobody is there to help him, so he’ll definitely help you considering he somehow deeply cares about you.

Flops on you, or sometimes he’ll just hug you tightly and put all of his body weight on you. Sometimes you’ll both tumble to the floor, or you’ll just laugh at how cute Hisoka is being, but never call him cute; that’s literally asking for an early death.

If you’re a coffee person, he’ll make coffee for you in the morning, just the way you like it. It’s honestly kind of creepy if you never even tell him how you like your coffee, and he ends up making it exactly to your tastes.

He’ll come on missions with you when he has nothing better to do, but he won’t help. It’s your mission, he’s just there to observe. Sometimes he’ll pop up for one second to give you a small kiss on the cheek, or gift you with a random card to show his twisted love towards you.

Loving stares from across the room. Sometimes he needs his space, physical touch sometimes gives him too much emotions and he doesn’t like feeling that 24/7, but he will still admire you from his place. Even though he says he wants to have his personal space for a while, he’ll still be in same room as you, and will follow you if you try to leave.

Gentle strokes through your hair, massages, back rubs, belly rubs, etc.

Hand holding, he loves holding your hand, just the feeling of your hand in his, the size difference, the texture of your skin, that’s his favorite kind of contact.

Late night walks. He used to do these alone, but ever since you slithered into his life you decided to come along with him, it’s sort of romantic sometimes, maybe you two will have a picnic at night on top of a cliff or just stroll together in the woods or in the streets hand in hand.

He lets you into his social medias, honestly he only lets a couple of people follow him(Illumi, the whole phantom troupe in order to not seem suspicious(he probs removed them immediately after he left).. etc.) he likes to be a very private man, I don’t see him as somebody to want a lot of followers; but when he lets you into his account then you’re all he ever posts about; on his stories at least, he never uploads posts, at all. Although he has only one post but it’s from 2016 and just a picture of a joker card with no caption. He’s most active on his Snapchat and Facebook, but it’s usually just to text or look at things.

He opens doors for you(any doors, door to the house, door to a cafe, car doors, etc..), he gives you his jacket when you’re cold, and he lets you lean on him when you’re tired.

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mythmica · 2 years

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Hi again

So it’s been a while! I wanted to make this little update post to let y’all know why I’ve been inactive for a long while and how things are going.

Putting the rest of this under a read more just because I will be mentioning some health stuff:

So long story short, the first half of 2021 went great for me, but during the second half of 2021 I went through a rough time. (I’ve still been trying to pull myself out of that funk right now to be honest). It was rough for a couple of reasons, one of them being how I got covid last fall! Which sucked! (And before anyone asks yes I was fully vaccinated and masked, but I ended up getting it at work anyway). I was basically stuck in quarantine for a month and I can’t emphasize how much it sucked. Even after recovering, I’ve still been dealing with chronic fatigue and other health stuff, and that time didn’t do my mental health much good either. I have also been struggling to even bring myself to read, draw, or write for fun at all as well, both due to how I’ve been doing mentally lately and how I just in general have been feeling pretty negative about anything I create. Due to the fatigue my energy levels have also been pretty much halved, to the point where I feel sleepy a lot of the time and just tired after completing only a few tasks.

All that along with the constant influx of bad news from around the world, discourse that would sometime pop up in my timeline, along with my depressed state kinda led to me avoiding social media for a lot of my time, to the point where I still get anxiety from opening up tumblr, twitter, discord, etc. I’ve been getting help and I’m in a much better place than I was last fall thankfully, and I want to try and be more active online again. I want to thank everyone who’s sent me a message or tried to check in, and I also want to apologize to anyone who’s sent me a message and haven’t gotten an answer from me since then. I’m not ignoring you intentionally or anything, it’s genuinely just been due mental health stuff and I can’t really put into words how hard it is to push yourself to respond when all your brain wants to do is hide away from everything. But overall, please stay safe and protect yourself from covid y’all, it’s no joke. And take care of yourselves too. These past few years have been rough on a lot of people and it’s ok to still be dealing with stuff as a result of that, and your mental and emotional health are super important. Thanks, Myth

#myth blabs #vent

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xseaxwitchxkpop · 3 years

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Bad Body Image Day

Howdy! I've struggling lately with body image issues and figured I'd make a little comfort reaction for Ateez; I know this has been done to death, but I personally never tire of seeing it, especially because so many people have different ideas about how the members would react. Anyway, without further ado! Also there is more of a focus on a plussize!reader in this because I myself am plus size, but that is not to say that my thinner peeps can’t have insecurities!

Disclaimer: I, in no way, personally know any of the ateezers, so take this with a grain of salt -- or don’t, I’m not one to tell you what to do lol

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Hongjoong

I can see him being a little angry, ngl -- no one hurts his baby, not even his baby

he’d ask why you felt that way, if anything triggered it like clothing not fitting right, scrolling through social media too much, looking at yourself in the mirror a little too hard

he’d spend the night with you at your place and cover all the mirrors in your place (yes, even the bathroom) so you wouldn’t have to catch a glimpse of yourself accidentally

make it point to shower you in praise, reminding you that you are more than your body

would also make a point to compliment your body anyways, pointing out everything you hate and saying he loves them because the are a part of you and he has phenomenal taste in his partners, thank you very much

Seonghwa

this man is too perceptive to not notice your depressive mood

might want to take some pictures together with some cute cat filters, but he knows what’s wrong the moment you decline

turns his phone to do not disturb and pulls you into his lap

honestly is sad that you don’t see yourself the way he sees you: gorgeous, stunning, beautiful, and perfect

peppers your face with kisses in an effort to make your fell better but that just ends in you crying

he then just holds you and rubs your back in soothing motions, whispering assurances in your ear

Yunho

does literally everything in his power to cheer you up

pounces on you from behind and folds you over like a blanket

tickles you in your most ticklish spots and following that up with kisses

would definitely force you to watch your favorite comfort shows as you forces you yo sit on his lap or lay against his chest

he may even force you to focus on him and by that I mean he’d ask you to do his makeup and tell you to take your time with it (gives him an excuse to stare at you and love you and tell you all the things he loves about you without you running away or shutting him up)

Yeosang

if you don’t know how to skateboard or use roller skates/roller blades, etc., he’d take you on a walk with him; if you do know how to do any of those things, he’d take out his skateboard and you’d skate next to each other

he’s a very quiet person, so I suspect he’d catch you body checking in the mirror or fidgeting with your clothes more than usual or looking over your shoulder at social media at see you looking at “prettier” people

if you can fit into his hoodies, he’d give you one with the excuse that you “looked cold,” regardless of the weather; if you can’t, he’d give you a plushie that was wearing one of his beanies (sprayed with his cologne) to cuddle with or squeeze if you don’t feel like being touched or he’d grab the blanket from his bed and wrap the both of you in a giant burrito on the bed or couch if you don’t mind being touched

basically he’d give you something of his to remind you that he is here for you, he isn’t going anywhere, and you are the most beautiful person to him (he comes off as more “action” than “words” for his displays of love, but I could be wrong lol)

would probably also offer to perform a roasting session just for you about the other members or any other mutual friends the two of you had

may even draw hehetmon comic strips in cute situations to cheer you up a little

San

cuddle monster activated

this man’s love language, or one of his love languages, is very clearly physical affection, or skinship, so be prepared to not leave the couch or the bed

again, another observant member, so he caught you doing something like Yeosang did

another one to force you to watch your comfort movies or cartoons

the bed or couch or just be an absolute mess of blankets, plushies, and pillows to help you feel safe and loved

he’d have your favorite snacks on deck, but if you don’t feel like eating, that’s okay, too, he’d have your favorite drinks -- you can argue against food, but you’re not arguing against the drinks, he won’t allow you to forgo both, it’s one or the other lol

instead of you leaning on him, he’d lean on you

you would probably be on your side or something, but he would make sure he could use your tummy as a pillow and your thighs as stress balls

he’d be a sneaky bastard and try to sneak kisses on your insecure spots -- his level of success is dependent on how much you’re paying attention to whatever he’s doing and your determination to fight him

however will respect any boundaries you lay out to him, even if it disheartens him to some degree

Mingi

he’s an extremely empathetic person and probably really good at reading people, so he probably knows before you do on a conscious level

cute faces? you got it! ridiculous antics? of course! telling you fantastical stories he makes up on the spot? absolutely!

if he happens to be going to the studio that day, he brings you along so you don’t have to be alone with your thoughts if you’re not working that day

he would show you either the mixtape he’s working on (I know for a FACT that man is currently sitting on a fire mixtape or is at least working on one) and/or give you a sneak peek into what the music might be for the group’s next comeback

I can see him wanting to take a shower with you, nothing sexual

he’d want to bathe you to show you that he genuinely finds you gorgeous and is more than elated that you are his and his only

Wooyoung

he’d another whose love language is skinship, so definitely cuddles from this one as well

kisses on your face every five seconds with “I love you”s thrown in

would offer to cook your favorite dish or one of your comfort dishes

another one with antics up his sleeve

he’d tone down his usual teasing or even stop it completely because he loves you and doesn’t want to accidentally say something that would end up making you feel worse

would try to act all cute to make you smile (laughing would make him feel better because he knows than that you are felling better, even if it’s temporary)

might invite you to join him in brainstorming pranks to play on the other members

Jongho

“want me to break this apple?” // “no, Jongho, I will not be entertained by you breaking an apple for the millionth time.” // “yes, you will.” *breaks the apple*

“part of the fun of breaking the apple is you getting annoyed.”

he does this in good fun because he thinks your annoyance is genuinely funny to him

while he’s not too much into skinship, he’d be more than happy to give you all the hugs and cuddles in the world to make you feel better while he hums or softly sings to you

probably drags you to the convenience store or a restaurant and buys you food, even if you protest with whatever insecurities you’re feeling at that moment

he doesn’t take no for an answer because having a full tummy even if you don’t want said full tummy always feels good

soft, gentle forehead kisses while holding your face

will offer you piggy rides and will not take no for an answer -- he will argue with you and roll his eyes when you say “I’m too heavy” or something like that

#ateez #ateez reaction #hongjoong #seonghwa #yunho #yeosang #mingi #san #wooyoung #jongho #plussize!reader #insecure!reader

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lovelystay · 3 years

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Bᴇɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴀ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴅɪsᴛᴀɴᴄᴇ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ғɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ s/ᴏ- Sᴛʀᴀʏ ᴋɪᴅs 🎬

(Request)

Chan 🐺

It has been such a long time he haven’t seen his s/o .

Everything he did made him think of you , even when he was casually eating he was thinking of eating with you .

You were dominating his mind 24/7 .

But holidays were coming , and he knew you were free and could come .

So you two prepared everything , he was coming to get you and take you home with his car .

This little boy couldn’t manage himself to stop smiling and giggling on his way to get you back .

When he finally sees you , a really big and warm hug will be given .

Chan would be so happy he can’t stop touching you , like holding your hands , putting his hand on your thighs on the ride home , cuddles , hugs etc...

Would spend every single minutes he have with you .

Only care about you .

Minho 🐱

Minho was the one going to see you this time .

Even though most people say that he is a tsundere type of boyfriend , I would say that yes he is but he’s more of a really cute softy person when he is with his s/o .

He bought so many things for you .

Suddenly became like your sugar daddy .

Pays you everything , want to spoil you as much as he can .

Minho became extremely clingy , which you found adorable .

Would follow you everywhere like a stray kitten, scared of not seeing you for a long time again .

Changbin 🐖🐇

Changbin is always really sad when he’s not with you .

Which led to having facetimes every 3 minutes .

It’s honestly really cute , but you got tired of seeing through a screen . And you wanted to surprise him .

So you packed all of your stuff and was about to stay and live with your lovely boyfriend for 2 entire weeks .

Changbin would cry when he opened the door and saw your beautiful face with suitcases beside you .

Instead of doing a lot of activities outside you two mostly stayed home and did cute activities like cooking , starting a new series together or even buying dumb things online together .

Hyunjin 🦙

This poor man hasn’t seen you for like 1 month .

It was so much ...

But you lived so far .

You felt really bad too , you loved this man , he cried while you were calling him because he missed you a lot .

And that’s exactly what made you want to see him face to face .

So you got everything ready so you can see him the sooner as possible .

Last time you stayed at his house he gave you the double of his keys so that you could feel free to come whenever you wanted .

And THAT was the moment you could use those .

His friends helped you to prepare the surprise, they told you that that day hyunjin would be busy and would come back late , that’s why you made those own self home and waited for your boyfriend to return ,

Gosh you were so excited!

When hyunjin came home , he could sense something was weird . There were new shoes in front of him and his television was on .

He got scared really quickly and asked to make sure « is anyone there ? »

And that’s when you popped out of where you were « hiding » to meet him .

Hyunjin dropped everything he had and ran to take you in his arms .

« Y/n you don’t know how much I missed you , I was feeling so lonely without you by my side »

You hugged him even tighter and cried a little in his neck , he eventually cried too .

Hyunjin and you would literally be those couple goals that we all saw on social media and that we all envy .

Jisung 🐿

Jisung’s birthday was coming soon .

And you wanted to be here to celebrate with him .

His friends and teammates helped you a lot .

At the end you sneaked into his birthday party , he didn’t knew you were here at all .

Jisung has literally no idea .

You dressed really good for him .

You knew it was an outfit that Han would absolutely loved , so you wore it just for him .

He was talking with a friend when you tapped lightly his shoulder to get his attention .

He turned around and didn’t really got it was you at first , he thought he drank a little too much even though he didn’t even finished his glass .

He suddenly scream and take you in his arms almost making you suffocate .

People around were supportive and happy for both of you but they soon got back to focus on their selves after you and Han got upstairs .

You both missed each other a lot and that make out session was a real need .

He was touching every part on your body .

So... yeah , birthday sex .

Felix 🐨

Felix is the cutest boyfriend ever .

Even though you were busy and kind of overwhelmed by studies and work he always managed to make you feel better , by playing with you online , sending you snacks he recently discovered and thought that you might like etc

But he was having a hard time missing you .

He didn’t had that dose of cuddles he wanted to have with you .

Would legit dream of you .

He had free time for a week and the first thing he thought he could do was seeing you.

He gave you some hint that he was going to come but you couldn’t really believe him , it felt too good to be true and you didn’t wanted to get high expectations, it would hurt too much after .

But- he actually came , he casually knocked on your door and waited outside .

As soon as he got inside your home he asked you to get changed . So you did while sobbing of happiness .

Felix had the cute idea to go and watch the sunset while having a picnic with his favorite person on the planet .

Softest couple ever .

Felix would make you feel like a real princess , he missed you way too much to not treat you as.

Seungmin 🐶

You and seungmin made a « pact » where you and him had to met at least 1 week in a month . But even though you two had that sort of contract and could see each other more often than other long distance relationship couple .

Seungmin would still whine and miss you every time you go .

So to remedy when he got to see you again a lot of pictures would be taken , a lot lot lot .

Seungmin is like artist and considers you as his piece of art .

So every single time you two meet it would be extremely cliché and cheesy but adorable and innocent at the same time .

Seungmin just want to create good memories and save them with his camera .

He know that when you’ll go back home he’ll miss you terribly again , and instead of calling you he would just look back at the breath taking pictures he took of you .

He is completely whipped for you .

For your 2 years anniversary seungmin would probably offer you an album which contain every single pictures he’s taken during the time when he could see you and be with you .

Jeongin 🦊

Jeongin isn’t normally very emotional when it comes to crying , but when it comes to seeing his s/o again after a long time he wouldn’t hold back .

He would treat you like a princess just like Felix , because he love you with his whole heart and missed you really badly .

And when he’s done admiring and crying about you .

Jeongin would take you out in a date every day you stayed with him .

One day it’s in a cinema , the other it’s to the swimming pool , the other is to go shopping with him ...

And it’s honestly a lot of fun .

It makes him want to stay with you even more , even though he know he can’t just make you stay like that ...

#stray kids fanfiction #skz imagines #stray kids fanfic #stray kids reactions #hyunjin #seo changbin #bangchan #felix #jeongin #minho #seungmin #jisung #stray kids fluff #stray kids soft #Stray kids long distance relationship

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chaoshomeschooler · 3 years

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1/29/21 - 3:40 AM

this is pretty long so here’s a read more

I’ve come to accept the fact that I simply do not operate in the daytime. The past several days I have ended up staying up until 4 saying “I’ll go to sleep soon” while getting nothing done. Then I sleep until some ungodly hour the next day - not like I’m in my bed sleeping until noon. No. I get up, go to work, then doze off at work between customers. Every time I fall asleep at work I get... scared? I hear these clicking sounds and I feel dread while I’m sleeping but I still just kind of sleep. It’s really not fun. But either way, I’ve been getting almost nothing done in the day because I sleep until really late (today I stayed home and I ended up being up for three hours then taking like a four hour nap) and then I get nothing done at night because I keep thinking I’ll go to sleep soon.

So today I’m just staying up all night, getting things done, and hopefully I’ll be so tired that I can get to sleep at a decent hour tomorrow, even if I end up dosing off all morning.

And guess what. It worked. I got an assignment done and I started on my next one. I’m still awake enough that I’m going to go work on a scholarship and a commission after this.

For me everything is about results and not method. Ideally I’d operate during regular hours but ya know - it may not be the right way but it’s the only thing that’s working for me right now.

Oh yeah and I’m actually using my desk for once in my life so I feel like a real student for once lol.

Stu-dna challenge days 27-29:

27. study in groups or study alone?

What’s a group?

JK umm when I used to be in co-ops (Classical Conversations or CC, for the initiated) and that one year I was at the career center I did have several group projects and breakouts in classes - I hated the group projects because either I was the only one who did any work (career center) or I was stuck with someone who hated me/the group was so big it was hard to get anything done (CC). So nah, in most cases I would rather study alone unless it’s with my one friend who actually cares about her grades like I do.

28. do you like the cold? what are your favourite winter activities?

I don’t necessarily like the cold but it’s better than the heat bc you can put on layers or use a space heater - in the heat there’s only so much you can do.

Uhhh my favorite winter activities would really just be anything Christmas related. Just hanging out at home and decorating or baking or making gifts for my friends or anything like that

29. do you have any hobbies?

I find it hard to define hobbies? Like I sew and crochet but that’s also my job. I learned embroidery over the summer and I also write but I don’t have time for either of those things any more.

I also play piano but it’s kind of a school subject due to the like intensity of my learning that (wow I can’t english rn). Cello is more of a hobby for me because I don’t take lessons anymore - but that’s another thing that I don’t have much time for.

spell-studies challenge:

3. Wed. Jan 27: what are you most excited for this semester/challenge?

This isn’t school related but it’s happening this semester - I’m going to go visit Belmont University and my Adult Friends aka my favorite band who all went there are gonna meet up with me there.

I guess describing them as my favorite band makes it sound really unrealistic - they’re a super tiny band and I met them when they were even way less famous - I started talking to them and one of them commissioned something from me etc etc now we talk on and off on social media and whenever they come to my area we hang out. Also they’re not that much older than me I think they’re like 7 or so years older.

4. Thur. Jan 28: Wanna post a work space pic?

I added the pic at the top of the post before I even saw this prompt lol :)

5. Fri. Jan 29: TGIF what’s today’s ~vibe~?

today’s (yesterday’s???) vibe is ✨disappointment✨ I slept way too much and got nothing done yaaayyyyy - so by the time my parents got home (they work like a million hours a day so I don’t get to see them much) I was still working so I couldn’t spend any time with them. I’ve been trying to spend more time with them bc I’m graduating this spring/summer (*barf*)

but the vibe going into the rest of today is ✨fuck you you better get some shit done and tire yourself out so you can go to sleep fuck you and your bad habits✨

#high school #stu-dna challenge #SpringQuarantineStudyChallenge #spring quarantine fall challenge #study challenge #homeschooler #homeschooling #home school studyblr #homeschool studyblr #home school #homeschool #studyblr

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morwensteelsheen · 3 years

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History as an academic discipline is quite a bit more scientific than I think people on tumblr are really interested in giving it credit for. I don’t want to diagnose the root cause of the problem too much, but I do think it’s quite intimately related to the way in which lots of folk on here are driving by emotional politics rather than ideological politics — which is to say, people feel that something should be the case, and therefore believe X, Y, or Z, rather than people have a structural analysis of something, and therefore believe X, Y, or Z. This goes hand in hand with the rise of popular individualism in the anglo west in the late 70s, early 80s (see Emily Robinson et al.) and the various associates political/cultural elements therein. I won’t say more here, but this is a lot of what my research is on, So I do have thoughts.

Anyways — history is a far more scientific discipline than people are really ready to accept on here. When you go through training as a historian, you’re trained in a variety of methodologies and historiographical philosophies, and a lot of them sit in tension or contradiction with one another. However, even the most hardline subjectivists (like EH Carr, for example) would agree with this premise: historiographical narratives cannot be disproved on sentiment alone. They can only be disproved with sufficient research or reinterpretation of extant evidence. They cannot be disproved simply because they don’t feel right.

What that means — and this is an emotionally and politically complex reality of the field, please don’t assume that I’m endorsing it — is that as historians, we have to accept certain things as historical fact, even if we don’t necessarily agree with them morally or politically. For an example from my field, I think it’s incredibly gender essentialist and degrading to assert that ‘women tend to tell more emotive life histories and men tend to tell more event-oriented life histories.’ But the existing research says that this is true. In my research, I’ve worked to overturn this orthodoxy by uncovering new evidence of women who don’t tell emotive life histories and instead choose event-oriented narrative structures. I have also reinterpreted existing evidence to argue that the initial conclusions are wrong. However, given that my research has not yet stood up to peer review, nor has it been published, I have to accept that the state of historiographical play says that the above statement is true. I feel as if that’s wrong, but insofar as proving that it’s wrong goes, I haven’t met the criteria yet. I intend to, but I’m not there yet.

This is fine, this process doesn’t cause problems for trained historians, for archivists, museologists, etc. The problems arise when laypeople — particularly laypeople on social media — misinterpret how and why this process of knowledge production exists the way it does, and through that misinterpretation extrapolate information that they should not reasonably be extrapolating to draw illogical conclusions. To continue the example of my research, it would not be unsurprising to see people on tumblr call me a gender essentialist for accepting that historiographical premise in my work. It would not matter that politically I am not a gender essentialist, nor would it matter that my work seeks to problematise that gender essentialism, the very fact of my beginning with a widely-accepted (if politically and historically incorrect!) premise for my research would be enough to earn the GE label. You see this frequently with the generalisations that history as a discipline is homophobic, that historians are all colonisers, or that historical work is inherently misogynistic. The problem here is that it erases and complicates the work of historians who are trying to unsettle those norms — and the historians who are not homophobic, imperialist, or misogynistic and who are not working to unsettle those norms, but whose work nonetheless remains valid and important.

We, as historians, cannot problematise every bit of knowledge at all moments. The orthodoxy has to be chipped away bit by bit. I’m not going to say that it isn’t frustrating, tiring, or even (tbh) dehumanising, but it’s the state of the state in academia. But that we are forced to work within these incredibly tight parameters does not make us morally or politically illegitimate; if there is a way to secure a revolution in the academy that has not yet been tried, I would welcome advice on it. Such as it is, reform is the only plausible path forward (in the academy!!! Not generally!!!).

When people on tumblr, typically people who are not aware of how the historiographical process works, pontificate about historians writ large being homophobic/misogynistic/racist/whatever, they are actively damaging the historians who most need to be heard. The pale, male, and stale bourgeois academics aren’t hurt by those accusations, because they simply don’t give a fuck. Historians like me, however, queer, disabled, nb historians (for just one case), are hurt by those accusations. It functions as a delegitimisation of the research that I do, of the serious and credible political work I am undertaking both as a researcher and as an activist, and it encourages me to give up on this small corner of a wider struggle. If historians like me — or indeed historians not like me, but who do not fit the bourgeois academic mould — are chased out of the academy, you will not have succeeded in making history more accurate, more diverse, or more politically correct in its analyses. You will have, essentially, ceded the ground to the regressive orthodoxy. And for whatever criticisms I have of tumblr’s liberalism and general detachment from practical politics (go touch some fuckin’ grass guys!), I do not actually believe that you’re trying to undermine the effort to decolonise and democratise knowledge. I think a lot of you are being incredibly unhelpful and even very damaging, but I think it stems from ignorance, not malice.

Anyways, it’s really late, I’m very tired, I’ve had an incredibly difficult day dealing with people (historians! yes! bad women historians!) who promote rank misogyny in their obsession with emotive politics above serious politics, so I’ll do everyone a favour and stop talking and go to bed. But I do really wish people would approach this stuff with more sensitivity and respect than they do right now. Ugh. Okay. Night.

#me #I’m just so bored of this shit honestly

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katiesthoughtson · 3 years

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22 Lessons I’ve Learned in 22 Years

In honor of my impending 22nd birthday, I decided to do one of my favorite things and self-reflect. I’ve complied this list of some important lessons I’ve learned over the past 22 years. Please enjoy.

1. Just do the thing.

There are so many experiences I’ve wanted to do that I’ve put qualifications on – ‘I’ll do that when I’m older/fitter/more confident.’ I’ve also had the habit of thinking that I can’t do something because it’s outside of a trend or an aesthetic that I’m trying to achieve. I’m a little bit ashamed to even admit that last statement, but it’s the truth.

I now try to keep myself conscious of when I’m having those thoughts and reframing them. There are, naturally, things that I have to save money or wait until I’m legally allowed to do something. However, for the most part, I can do these things now. I can wear that dress or those shorts now. I can learn what an IRA and an ETF and a mutual bond are now. I can be happy now. Not when I’m older or in a new city or achieve a certain goal. I can be happy now.

2. Doing things alone is not unbearable and can even be fun.

One of my most vivid memories of my Disney College Program was my first alone trip to a Disney Park. It was something I put on my bucket list, so I figured I had to get it done. I boarded the infamous CP bus and headed to Epcot, promising myself the entire way, like a mantra, that I could leave as soon as I felt uncomfortable and stopped having fun. I could enter the park, walk around, and leave, if that were all I wanted to do.

I ended up spending almost the entire day at Epcot, thoroughly enjoying my own company and taking my sweet time exploring every nook of the World Showcase (my personal favorite activity during my Disney Days). I love being able to do things at my own pace. In a real twist of fate, I even got to the point where I would intentionally turn down plans with others to have a day to myself in the parks. I’ve tried to continue this practice outside of Walt Disney World – movies, restaurants, parks, shopping. And I’ve had fun doing it.

3. Sticking to what I think is right is worth it in the end.

There are times, in all of our lives, when we are challenged between what we want to do and what others want us to do. It’s hard to stick to what you believe is right, the values that you hold deeply, in the face of adversity, but it’s well worth it. Keep at it.

4. Some things simply don’t matter as much as I think they will.

a. I’ve agonized over so many things – hard conversations and grades and mistakes at work – and honestly…they’ve almost always went better than anticipated. I’ve had hard conversations that have improved my relationships, not ruined everything like I feared. I honestly can’t remember most of my grades, especially from high school. I’ve spent weekends worrying about a mistake I might’ve made at work, just to come in on Monday and be told it wasn��t a big deal. Overthinking and I are close friends, but often, it’s very wrong.

5. Most of the good things in life require risking some degree of failure.

There’s a lot of failure associated with putting yourself out there in search of the goals you want. It takes strings of bad dates and ghosts in order to find someone that you really connect with. It takes endless rejection letters and interview ghosts to find a job that works. Choosing the safer path, the path that offers less rejection and pain, might seem like a good choice, but it comes with the sacrifice of missing all the beautiful things that could result too.

6. Mental healthcare is a very real necessity.

I’ve learned a lot about mental health since my initial discovery of the topic 4 years ago. Lately, I’ve been trying to reinforce mental healthcare in a proactive and reactive way. I have started to incorporate healthy behaviors in my daily routine, like meditation, yoga, and journaling. I have also started taking care of myself when I notice dips in my mental health. I used to have the terrible habit of telling myself that I could just push through it, but now, I stop and take care of the small things to genuinely try to feel better. I drink a glass of water, do something I enjoy, eat a snack. It is well worth it for me to take an hour to step aside, take care of myself, and get back to work, rather than keep trying to do things while my brain is screaming at me the whole time.

7. Making one small positive change can go a long way.

This is another recent mental health tip I heard lately and it’s been so helpful, even in the short time it’s been in my practice. As soon as I notice my mood dip or my anxiety start to build, I change something in my physical environment to make things just 1% lighter. I might light a candle, change into comfier clothes, drink a smoothie, or listen to a favorite song. All of these engage my senses and make my environment a bit better. No, it’s not curing the mental illness, but it’s a mood booster in a small way and sometimes, that’s enough.

8. Real friends grow with you. The friendship will not always feel the same because people change, but if you’re lucky, the friends will stay.

The friends that I currently have in my life are some of the longest friendships I’ve always had. After years of school with people moving or growing out of touch, this is the first time that I can look at my group of best friends and proudly say that I’ve known all of them for 3+ years. Naturally, we are not all the same people we were when we first met, but my friends and I have grown with each other through life’s challenges and successes. Our dynamics have shifted. The way we communicate has changed. But our friendship is still there and it’s beautiful.

9. I have never regretted a learning opportunity – a good book, podcast, seminar, event, etc.

This is a true Ravenclaw trait right here, but I love learning. I have never regretted any opportunity to learn, even if it’s not in my particular fields of interest. I loved my general education requirements in college because they gave me so many opportunities to learn and become more well-rounded. I attended random on-campus seminars and learned so much, even when I walked in knowing nothing about the topic. Now, in my post-graduation days, I still try to find opportunities to learn with books and podcasts and I’ve never regretted any of it.

10. There is no shame in making things easier (even if that requires sacrificing the aesthetic).

Literally this is just about wearing sweatpants and leggings. I used to feel that I always had to dress up or I’d be wasting the day, but I’ve had many, many productive, positive days while wearing leggings. It’s just easier.

11. Things that are popular are popular because they’re good. There’s no point in not liking something just because it’s ‘popular.’ (I’m referring to Taylor Swift here.)

For a long time, I never liked to admit that I liked ‘popular’ things. I’ve been listening to Taylor Swift since elementary school, but finally admitted that I liked Taylor Swift last year. There’s no shame in liking the popular things because they’re popular for a reason – they’re good. (Side note: I’ve made and rekindled so many friendships thanks to Taylor Swift, so it’s also a great bonding experience.) So here I am – turning in my hipster card – and proudly proclaiming that I like Taylor Swift and Starbucks and white nail polish and all kinds of pop music and there’s nothing wrong with any of that.

12. Setting boundaries over your time is essential.

I’ve learned that I need to stop having so many distractions. In particular, social media has sucked my time away. Setting time limits on my apps is one of the best changes I’ve made for myself and my time. I have 10 minutes on Twitter, 20 minutes on Instagram, and 25 minutes on TikTok a day. This has helped me be more mindful, instead of endlessly doomscrolling, and has given me a sense of control over my time again. How lovely.

13. One break from routine will not ruin my progress.

Last night, I didn’t dry my hair before going to bed. I was tired after working out, hopped in the shower, and then went right to bed. My hair, albeit, was a mess this morning, but it didn’t ruin anything. A night without flossing isn’t the end of the world. My teeth will be okay. My habit will be okay. I can pick up right where I left off.

14. Perhaps it’s all just about trial and error to discover what works for me.

I’ve had many expectations about how things would go – from internships to my career to dating – and been incredibly surprised by the reality. I had an ideal list of qualities for a romantic partner, only to go on a series of dates, and have to reconstruct the list entirely. I had to see how I actually fit with different people to determine what I was really looking for. The same goes with jobs. I’ve had plenty of jobs over the years and I’ve had to piece together what I like and dislike about each of them to inform my next moves. For example, after years of retail, I pined over a desk job. My current position is exactly that and yet, I’ve discovered that I kind of miss the busyness and the action. I never would’ve known that, however, if I didn’t try the alternative.

15. I actually like being outdoors.

This is a recent quarantine discovery. I spent my entire life thinking that I didn’t like being outside. It was even a joke among my family members – that I never went outside. You still probably won’t found me outside on extreme weather days, but I have found a love for a walk around a park, reading outside at sunset, or the refreshing feeling of walking through a rainstorm.

16. Advocating for myself is hard and very uncomfortable and sometimes an upward battle, but it feels very empowering in the end.

It takes a while for some people to believe or trust you. It’s a hard process, especially when you know something is wrong, but others don’t see it. However, the persistence makes all the difference. It’s worth it to keep going until you find the support you deserve.

17. Being in pain is never okay.

Another one of my bad habits was delaying treatment for pain, both physical and mental, for as long as I could. One of my goals in 2020 was to take care of my ailments as soon as they occur and it’s been such a relief. (I am incredibly privileged to have access to healthcare and a way to pay for it.) Instead of waiting until my symptoms leave me wiped out, I focus on prevention and helping myself when things only feel a little bad, instead of continuing to push until it was unbearable.

Also – if a doctor belittles or ignores your pain, leave. Just walk out of the office. Ignore them and find someone who does care. This quote comes directly from a doctor I spoke to last year, who after being ignored for an endless amount of time regarding my pain, hit me with this powerful statement and it’s stuck with me ever since. I’m incredibly grateful for her and her attention to my care.

18. The beginning sucks.

During a transition, the beginning is not going to be easy. The first days in a new job are going to feel chaotic and overwhelming. The first days in a new city are going to feel lonely. With time, it always gets better. The beginning is only a temporary phase and I just need to adjust.

19. Everyone is working at their own pace. I’m on my own pace and that’s okay. Things unfold as they are supposed to.

One of the most confusing things about being in your 20s, for me, is that everyone is at a completely different stage in their life. I find myself often comparing my progress in certain areas of life to my friends or people online, when we’re all on our own trajectory. Everything will come to me when it’s right and rushing the process wouldn’t help me. Patience is a virtue.

20. Some people make me feel warm and fuzzy inside and those relationships are incredibly, profoundly meaningful.

My favorite feeling is when I leave someone after spending time with them or hang up the phone on a Facetime call and feel incredibly warm. I can’t stop smiling or replaying our conversation. It feels like I’m consumed with light. That’s the feeling that I want to nurture. I’m so happy there are people in my life who make me feel this way.

21. “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”

I am often afraid of big decisions and making those leaps. Moving to Florida. Moving to Florida again. Switching majors. Applying to graduate school. Actually deciding to enroll in graduate school. I’ve been afraid of the unknowns involved in all of these big life changes, but did them anyway. I’m so grateful that I stuck through each of them, pushed through the fear, took care of myself in the transitions, and emerged better for it every time.

22. I’m 22 and don’t actually know that much at all.

I feel a lot of ways about turning 22. I’m equal parts excited and intimated, but here we are. I’ve learned a lot in these past years and I know that I have so much more to learn. Who knows – maybe in the future, I’ll even look back at this list and disagree with these lessons. I’ll think back on this time in my life with a fond nostalgia, appreciating my naivety. But for now, all I can do is embrace what I think I know and keep moving forward. There’s a beauty to youthfulness, to not knowing what’s going on, to stumbling through life, and I don’t want to miss any of it.

So here’s to another chapter of life. I’ll make the wrong decision sometimes. I’ll make the right decision other times. There will be curveballs and winding roads and pain, but there will also be magic and light and resilience. I can only hope that 22 will be kind.

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local-troubled-writer · 3 years

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Five Faves of 2020

I’m late to this party but what else is new? @mercurial-madhouse tagged me so lets get right to it.

RULES: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work.

WRITING: Dear Darlin

Dear Darlin is my baby and its the reason I got back into writing and specifically writing for this fandom. It feels so familiar and hurts so bad because it centers on such a common experience: letting someone go when you don’t want to.

Louis and Harry made me hate them while writing this and each for their own reasons. They couldn’t seem to get out of their own way for a few moments there and there were definitely tears shed both in frustration and because what I was writing was tearing my heart out.

One of my friends who read it said it brought her to tears because she remember how she had to let a partner go because of similar reasons as the fic and I remember crying reading her message.

I have two more parts of this coming after I finish my Big Bang fic.

WRITING: More Than My Hometown

More Than My Hometown was written in one evening and it absolutely shredded me in the way that only ideas that hit you like a ton of bricks can. It is inspired by a Morgan Wallen song by the same title and while that song isn’t overtly sad, it birthed one of the saddest works I’ve written to date and that includes some in my back file.

It also hurts in a very familiar way, kind of same as Dear Darlin because we all have had or will have a relationship that just doesn’t work out, whether due to going away for school, getting a new job and moving to a new city or the relationship has just run its course. Definitely cried writing it because I dipped into a few of my own experiences with relationships like this and it hurt more than I thought it would.

I’ve got a particularly brutal coda coming for this one. Y’all just aren’t ready.

EDIT:

Oh this edit. This edit was made in Adobe Spark, so thanks Adobe. This edit was made for an extra magazine article that won’t be written but is mentioned in my Big Bang fic. Both Louis and Zayn are tattoo artists who run a shop together. I can’t say much else about these two edits without giving away some major plot points in the fic so if you’re interested, the fic will be posted with the rest of the Big Bang fics!

Plus, I just love Louis edits.

EDIT:

This was made in Adobe Spark, so thanks Adobe. But I loved including this because while the fic its for is Larry-centric, it also features Ziam. Zayn doesn’t actively appear a lot in the actual fic but he’s always just kind of this presence, encouraging and talking Louis through things.

This edit was made with the intention of being part of a magazine article not seen in the fic, as just a little something extra. Both Zayn and Louis get featured.

EDIT:

This edit, like the previous two, was made for my fic for Big Bang. This fic is self-aware in the way that it acknowledges that fandom engagement is part of it. I also just really adore Larry! social media so there will probably be quite a bit of that in the actual fic itself. But this particular edit just makes me smile.

tagging: absolutely anybody that wants to do this. I’m very tired and can’t think anymore so.

All pictures belong to their owners. I do not own the pictures, just the edits.

#tag game #writing #my writing #edits #my edits #larry edit #larry social media

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #315

“can’t breathe to scream / suffocating in this dream / long way down”

Who was your first big crush? I would probably say this guy in high school named Sebastian. We sat beside each other in Art, and I definitely liked him a lot. Man, my freshman-sophomore years honestly involved a handful of crushes before Jason popped into the picture and I lost all romantic interest in everyone else. Where was the first place you drove after you got your license? N/A Is it a blue sky outside right now? No. All North Carolina has known for weeks on end now is rain. We've had very rare sunny days, but for the most part, it's just gray and gross. Was your last breakup a bad one? Nah, I'd say it ended maturely and with a mutual understanding of "why." When was the last time you were surprised, in a pleasant way? Hell if I know. Is there an ice-cream flavor that you strongly dislike? Which one? Yeah, like strawberry. What was the last sitcom you watched? No clue. ^ Do you have a favorite character in that sitcom? Why is that character your favorite? N/A What does the last group you joined on Facebook concern? I am 90% sure it was this group I joined that is literally just about cute yet dangerous animals lmao, mostly reptiles and invertebrates. "Misunderstood biteybois and where to befriemd them" or some stupid shit like that. Has there been a spider in your house at any time recently? Not that I've seen, no. Do you like wearing make-up? Not at all. I only like wearing it for pictures and then taking that shit off. ^ If so, how old were you when you first started to wear it? I started consistently wearing it my freshman year of high school. Then some time later I just showed up one day without any, shocked all my friends, and then only wore it when I felt like it. What foods are you craving lately, if any? Nothing, really. What were some of your favorite foods as a child? Chicken nuggets of course, as well as spaghetti, peanut butter sandwiches, just the typical stuff that kids tend to enjoy. When you were younger, did you ever have a friend that your parents hated? No. Have you ever talked in your sleep before? That's very normal for me, especially now that I have nightmares like every goddamn night. What was the last song you heard, that reminded you of someone? Well, not a real someone, but "The Ordinary World" by the Hit House is 110% one of Fetch's soon-to-be themes. What has brought you joy today? Nothing brought me "joy," really. When was the last time you won a prize in a raffle? What was it? I actually recently won an art rafle on deviantART hosted by a truly amazing artist, like I thought I had no chance, and she's going to be drawing Moondust!!!! :'''') What is the next non-essential item that you intend to buy for yourself? I'm still paying the bulk of my tattoo in May. Is there anywhere in your town/city that's rumored to be haunted? Oh, I'm sure. When you were younger, did you ever think that a certain place was haunted? Bitch I still do lmao. What were your school meals like? Did you enjoy them? This really depended on the menu for the day. My school lunches were nowhere near as bad as some people make theirs sound, but most things still weren't great. I think school pizzas are the most notoriously bad. What kind of granola bar did you eat most recently? I had a cashew bar earlier today. Do you have any books on your shelf that you've read multiple times? I never reread books. What did your last post on social media concern? That I personally wrote, something regarding subtle racism still being racism, pretty much. How do you feel about people using graphic images as a scare tactic to promote their beliefs? (i.e.: PETA, abortion…) I have mixed feelings on this. Like sometimes seeing the brutal side of certain things is definitely useful in opening someone's mind to things they don't want to see/think about, but then there's that, too: it can just be so invasive and unexpected, and thus very upsetting and even scarring. I'd say I'm most for the "appropriate" social media route: using censorship that the viewer can decide whether or not to remove. But you obviously can't do that in like, a public protest with a sign, so idk. Which is harder for you: writing creatively or academically? Honestly, both are pretty easy for me. I enjoy writing creatively far more, though. Do you think gender neutral bathrooms are a good idea? I think it's fine to have them as an option. When was the last time you voluntarily went outside of your comfort zone? Just talking about stuff in group therapy recently. Would you ever use a dating site that costs money, like Match.com or eHarmony? Have you known anyone who had good experience with such sites? No, and yes. Do you think it’s fair that people are able to make a reasonable salary and live comfortable lives just by making YouTube videos? Yes? It takes charisma and talent in some area (humor, education, etc.) as well as consistency for it to be a reliable career, and just consider how often you hear about creators burning out. That happens for a reason. Entertainment is a valid job category and should not be seen as an unfair joke. Whether you’re in college or not, do you become fearful about whether or not you’ll find a good job? Story of my life. What is something you can only understand if you've experienced it first hand? Deep heartbreak. Do you think it's a double standard that a woman can hit a man and expect to get away with it, but if a man hits a woman it's assault? Obviously. Abuse knows no gender, and hitting another person is just that. I do, however, believe in self-defense, also regardless of gender. In terms of a wedding, put these things in order from what would be MOST important to be perfect, to LEAST important... Engagement ring, dress, hair, venue, ceremony, food, pictures, decorations, honeymoon. This requires too much thinking, haha... but I do know the quality of my honeymoon would be most important to me, given that that's personal time with my new spouse and not a public celebration. I feel like what goes on behind closed doors is more important and heartfelt than how you act publicly. Do you have a go-to small talk conversation topic? Probably video games or music, idk. Define "small talk." Does anyone owe you money? Do you owe anyone money? (Besides credit cards) Mom does. She just a few days ago had to borrow $100 for rent. If someone was going to buy you any practical gift (anything except a house or car), what would you choose? It'd be dope as fuck if someone could pay for Venus' next terrarium, but that's a big purchase that I'd have a hard time accepting. How many people do you know with the same first name as you? At least one, but her name is spelled differently. What in your opinion is the best love song ever written? I'm not sure, but I can tell you that "When It's Love" by Van Halen has always been high on the list for me. Was your mother married when she had you? No, actually. I thought she was until my most recent bday, I think. It was just part of a conversation. How old was the first person you kissed? He was a few months into 18. The first person you were in a relationship with, do you still care about them? Of course, he's a sweet guy. We don't talk or anything, but that doesn't mean I don't care about him. Has anyone ever sang to you? Yes. So, what if you married the last person you kissed? That'd be pretty rad. What are you listening to at the moment? "Long Way Down" from the The Evil Within soundtrack. It's funny, like I've loved the game for many years, but I'm now in a serious semi-obsession phase after watching another let's play of it. Have you read the The Hunger Games trilogy? I only read the first book. I loved it, but just never continued. What is your boss’ (or school prinicpal’s) name? N/A Who is the person you dislike the most? That I personally know, probably a former best friend, oddly enough. Do you text your parents often? If Mom's not home, it's not unusual for us to text. I don't text my dad much because he's not a fan of texting. Do you watch YouTube videos often? Pretty much always. Do you know anyone with celiac disease? Sara, my aunt, and my cousin. Those are the ones I know of, anyway. Do you currently have any alarms set? No. How many cars can fit in your driveway? Barely even two. If someone else is here, they usually just park where the road meets the sidewalk of the cul-de-sac. Do you have the ashes of a family member or a pet? Of my dog Teddy, yes. Have you ever been involved in a car crash? Yes, as a kid. Do you prefer flash or no flash on a camera? Definitely no flash. It's more natural, and especially with people, it obviously prevents red eye. How often do you use hashtags? Just about never. Have you ever had whiplash before? No. Have you ever given another person or an animal a bath before? Pets, yes. I could never bathe another human. Is there a birdbath in your yard? No. Weirdest place you’ve ever had a cramp? Nowhere weird, I think... How many lamps are in the room you’re in? How many are actually turned on? Technically three, if you count my snake's heat lamp. Right now that's the only light that's on. Are there any activities you enjoy doing, but can only do for a short amount of time before you get bored or tired of them? Yeah, reading comes to mind first. Is there anything coming out soon (books, albums, movies, video games) that you're looking forward to? I'm not up-to-date on this stuff at all, not even video games. What is something someone recommended to you that you disliked/hated? I know Girt's recommended me music I haven't been a fan of. We like the same general stuff, but there are specific sub-genres we differ in opinion about. Can you unwrap a Starburst in your mouth? ... There are people who do this to even know in the first place??? What is the last thing you ate? Popcorn. Who is your favorite person to spend time with? Sara. Do you know how to grill a steak? I don't know how to cook, period. Do you have a large dog? We don't have a dog currently, but Mom is looking for one pretty intently. We don't know the size it'll end up being. Do you like walking places? Absolutely not. I can't walk far at all without my legs starting to scream at me because leading such a sedentary lifestyle led to muscle atrophy in my legs. It's incredibly embarrassing. Are you a fan of bands most people don’t know of? That's not uncommon for me. Have you ever sent an X-Rated picture to someone? No. Do you think your voice is higher or lower than average? It's deeper than the average woman's. Do you have a pool? No, but I really, really want one... Given how easily I sweat, I would love to use swimming to strengthen my legs. I could also stop the very moment I feel I need to; it in general sounds like something I could quite easily do. How many times have you been on a plane? Ummm including the trips going back, at least six times. Favorite ice cream flavor? Oh my gooooood, if you haven't tried Ben & Jerry's "phish food"... fucking try that shit. It is innnnnncredible. Do you have a TikTok? Nope. Do you enjoy driving? Fuck no I don't. Your favorite store as a teen? Hot Topic was and still is my fave, ha. Favorite YouTuber? There's this one called Markiplier that I think's pretty cool. How many online accounts do you have? A LOT. My whole life is essentially on the computer, so... .-. Do you tend to always be in some sort of drama? Quite the opposite. Do you collect quarters from every state? No. When was the last time your living room furniture was rearranged? Not since we moved into this place. When you were little did you like watching Cartoon Network, Disney or Nickelodeon more? Disney probably topped Nickelodeon. I didn't watch much CN. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Either my niece or nephew when saying bye. Have you ever seen a magic show? Yes, as a kid. I even had a magician for my bday once. When was the last time you vomited and why? It's been a year or so. It would've been a side effect of starting a certain med that I didn't stay on because it so consistently made me sick. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? Either in my bed (I know) or at the dinner table if Nicole is here to eat with us. What time do you usually go to sleep at night? It's typically around 7:30-8:30, occasionally a bit later. I can't believe as a teen, it was my "rule" that I couldn't go to sleep before 10:30 because it was "too early." Nowadays, I can barely imagine regularly staying up that late. Do you avoid using public restrooms? As best as I can. I've seen some nasty shit. What’s your favorite type of cookie? Chocolate chip. How basic.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''long way down'' - the evil within ost

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kcifeanyi · 4 years

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Just a few words...

Hey everyone,

I haven’t been able to adequately put into words how I’ve been feeling lately.

The phrases “I’m so tired” and “I’m still processing” have pretty much been all I can muster. But I feel odd not saying anything at all. I’ve never really been one for a hot-take (not in written form, anyway). Plus, I ran through the gamut in my mind of, “what can I possible say that hasn’t been said one million times before?” and “my social media presence and platform isn’t that huge, so will it make a difference?”

Well, because the systemic oppression and blatant murder of Black people is a tune America refuses take off repeat, I’m ok with adding one more thought to the million before mine. And I’m actively thinking of videos, articles, podcasts, etc. that I can do to leverage Fast Company’s larger platform than mine (I have some thoughts already but please hit me up if you have some as well). But in the meantime, this small audience of mine will do. And in this audience, I’d like the white people to step forward. I know y’all are nervous already, but we need to have a talk.

If you’re a white in my life—and I know plenty of you—I beg you, please continue (or start) the work of addressing your privilege (triggered, I know) and unpacking how that privilege contributes to this very broad spectrum of racism.

That is what I don’t want to ever get lost in these conversations.

I believe so often certain white people live in a false sense of comfort, thinking they’re not racist because they would never shoot a Black person jogging in their neighborhood or they couldn’t possible dream of kneeling on the neck of a Black person for a whole 8+ minutes until they—you guessed it—died. That is great. Continue to not do those things—I implore you.

However, racism is also dismissing a person of color’s experience with what they know is racism.

Racism is absolutely getting unnecessarily lost in the semantics of saying, “well, don’t you agree that ALL lives matter?” You know what we mean when we say Black Lives Matter. Stop it.

Racism is thinking that only bad things happen to “those” kind of Blacks. And let’s pull over here for a second.

I have never been quiet in acknowledging my own privilege in coming from a decent family and scraping my way up to and through an Ivy League institution. I know that it’s practically a miracle that growing up in Louisiana, I only experienced two incidents of overt racism: 1) not going to my junior prom because my date’s mom didn’t want her daughter going with a Black person; and 2) being called a nigger in a drive-by racism while playing tennis.

I know that, to some whites, because I talk a certain way or dress a certain way, that I’m somehow less “threatening,” or they don’t worry about me because the cops would never stop-and-frisk me, or wrestle me to the ground just because they felt like it. But not once have I ever fooled myself into thinking I’ve somehow pimped the game and I’m above racism.

Dear God, no—not for one second.

Black people—all Black people—should be able to exist without the threat of their extinction, no matter how they dress, walk, talk, present, whatever. And if you think an itchy-finger Karen would daren’t call the cops on someone like me or another version of me in your life, you’re wrong.

I know so many of you immediately shut down when you hear the word “privilege.” You feel guilty. You feel like someone just framed you at the scene of a burning cross on someone’s lawn. But, it begs repeating, racism is a very broad spectrum. And it can only be dismantled if you start to have these hard conversations with yourself—and, just as importantly, with the other whites in your life.

It’s ok if you’re confused, white people. It’s ok if you’re frustrated and feel like there’s nothing you can do. But now (or ever, really) is not the time to make something like this about you. If you find a Black person with the patience to sit you down and go over all of this in detail, consider yourself blessed. Hell, I think I got the ball rolling in some way. You’re welcome.

But it’s 2020 and we’ve been through this for literal centuries. There are think pieces, documentaries, TV shows, narrative films, books, in-depth articles, and more breaking it all down for you.

Do your homework.

I’ll even help you again by resurfacing some links I’ve come across:

“Anti-racism resources for white people” “White Supremacy in the Age of Trump”

Again, you’re welcome.

And if you have it in your budget, please donate. So far, I’ve given to the ACLU, National Bail Out, and Black Lives Matter.

I hope all of the above makes sense. I’m writing this with my brain oddly on fire and empty at the same time. And if it’s me just repeating what you’ve already heard or seen on your timelines for the past couple of days, well, maybe that’ll show you how important this is.

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princess--catherine · 4 years

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Maybe y’all will hate me for this, I’m all for women’s rights and the Me Too movement but has it maybe taken a turn it shouldn’t have? I can already feel the hatred

Just in the past couple weeks I’ve seen at least 3 “predators/rapists exposed”, and after looking into it I saw no predatory behavior to expose that was given. And people are losing their shit over this “cancelation?” The evidence for this one? “Had a minor backstage”...you think that didn’t and doesn’t currently happen with idk, every Disney star EVER and boy band on the radio? I’m sure a portion of Billie Eilish fans who’s parents buy backstage passes are REAL young, is she cancelled too? Since when does having a minor in your presence = any type of sexual behavior? This allegation causally mentions “backstage minor” and quickly moves to “predator” with no cohesion there. Since when does an adult simply being around a minor automatically make you guilty of doing sick shit? The “evidence” shown was pretty pathetic: cropped and blocked out texts with no name as to who it’s from, no name but said star predator, no time stamp or date, no pics, no voice memos, no emails, no proof of any kind that there was any truth to the claims, no detail, no real allegation actually even made from what I saw. Unless the “so and so did this” part was in invisible ink. I could literally google the date of a ‘insert famous person here’ concert or general tour dates, and do the same with a texting app or with someone else’s phone. This is an Accusation on someone of a serious sex crime on the sole basis maybe 5 texts, some of which are hidden, and ALL of which are anonymous, detail no criminal activity, are never worth ending or attempting to make sure someone’s career over.

Another one I saw was an explanation that another social media person made a somewhat crude comment/gusture towards a woman he knew but wasn’t super familiar with. One time, no actual touching. He was later told by a friend “not cool, other lady friend did not like”, he did as he should have and apologized, and it didn’t happen again- admittedly on both sides. The two girls told him everything was cool and okay, no harm no foul, don’t worry about it. It didn’t happen again and the friendship continued. Days later, “evidence” comes out from one of them citing him as a sexual predator for this situation. This incident. Yeah, it’s not cool to get in peoples space or compliment them in certain ways if your friendship is not on that level and it hasn’t been established. That I agree with, that it simply wasn’t very polite, but a) no one was actually touched physically in anyway and b) the “crude” comment from my understanding was about an outfit fitting her well or being firm fitting. Yeah, that might make ya feel a lil icky, but there was no sexual suggestion or threat. There’s a huge difference between unwanted attention and sexual harassment. Someone else later gets involved but says she’s “not comfortable/willing to discuss” but still insists he’s a predator but doesn’t show a single shred of any involvement or information. If I was these people being falsely accused, getting death treats and doxxed, and ultimately, “cancelled”/therefore loss of income possibly long term , with basically no evidence or someone saying shit like “yes, that’s a predator. Nobody gets to know why I’m saying that though. I don’t want to relive it, my bad. You horrible people need to stop supporting this sex offender!” I’d be sueing the shit out of someone and everyone for slander. Like this is unreal to me. It really blows my mind.

Before you message me hateful shit, hear me out. I’m not saying these guys are stand up, amazing, perfectly well behaved dudes. I’m not saying they’ve never done anything predatory or wrong before in their lives or careers. Lord knows narcissistic and higher than thou types run entertainment. I’m sure they all got their attitude and behavioral problems. I’m just saying the info I just read and described is almost nothing being real generous, no rational person sees that and labels someone a sex offender. You’re accusing someone of a very serious crime, in a lot of cases a fat ole felony, being a RSO list sometimes for a lifetime. Bill Cosby? Deserve it. Weinstien? Deserve it. Epstein? Deserved to be under the jail. I understand there’s not always physical evidence, or maybe there’s not enough to build a case/a case is unwanted by victim. Some say they want people to know and be warned. If that’s what you truly want, you truly truly are trying to protect others, go in 150%. Everything you got. But when this person publicly and openly calling someone out by name for being a “rapist/sexual predator”, absolutely dragging them thru the mud, and the reasoning, the justification for this is that he was dating other women? nah sis. That’s not how this works, getting played, while scummy, is NOT RAPE/SEXUAL ASSAULT/etc. (*this is excluding things that don’t apply to this particular story like recanting consent or knowingly passing on an STI) So sure, he’s a probably a POS, clearly unloyal, he’s maybe learned the art of sweet talkin his way into this one way monogamous relationship, and I frankly wouldnt feel bad if one of those girls who got played popped 3 of his tires, bought a fuck ton of spiders and sneak them into his bedroom or something. But not jail or prison. What he did (unless other info comes out) isn’t something to be uplifted or encouraged, it’s poor, unfair behavior. But what he did is not CRIMINAL. It’s just shitty and inconsiderate. And I know y’all are reading this thinkin “fuck this bitch”, making assumptions before you read a fraction of what I’m saying.

So let me explain a situation I was accidentally involved in a few years ago with someone who was “famous” around those parts and had lots of fans and groupies. Let’s call him “Lee”. Long story short, a friend and I were with him and different other people basically from like 8-9 pm to around 4 am. He was alone (out of my sight) only 3 times: once to use the bathroom at my friends before leaving, once in the men’s bathroom at a club, and for maybe 5 minutes when I had to change at my friends place before going back over. They lived in the same complex and stuff so it was basically throwing on some sweats and taking an elevator down. We hangout, drink, smoke, talk. Lowkey, chill.

I wake up the next day, someone texted me this link about “Lee” raping a girl. I’m thinking “holy shit, that’s scary and insane, we were just with him last night drinking and shit.” Keep reading...it says it was the night before. Same date we were with him. And the time the assault supposedly took place was when we had come back to his place, where other people were already there, we were sitting there forever talking/whatever, this girl who pointed the finger was not even in the room and left before we did. She poked her head in once and asked where Lee’s roommate was. He told her cookout, it’s late so it’ll be a minute. Asked her if she wanted to hang out with us. She declined. So I figured maybe this info was wrong somehow and at the time I wasn’t making the connection between that girl and this story. I was like, no way a girl would lie about that of all things and especially knowing it’d likely get picked up by the local media, or at least local gossip. Her life here would be over. My friend and I decided to go talk to the police even though I avoid the damn police at all costs. The first thing I asked this officer was: “are you POSITIVE this is the date, place, and time, and are you POSITIVE “Lee” is who she is accusing?” And I asked that mostly because I was not about to defend or vouch for someone about a situation I wasn’t present for. Also, I wasn’t the biggest fan of “Lee”, so I sure as shit I wasn’t getting myself involved and going to bat for him without knowing it’s right. The Officer was very adamant that all that info was correct, victim was very sure. I explained to him everything I explained above, but I’m sure in better detail and included texts, pics, videos all with times, plus receipts showing how this isn’t adding up. He wasn’t alone the entire night and early morning. Officer ask me if she (the victim) was visiting a roommate of Lee’s, if they were sleeping together during her visit, I told him the truth which was that I didn’t really know for sure but it was a possibility. He told me somebody else had claimed she was no longer welcome for unknown reasons and believed this to be be related. I explain to the officer that I won’t speak on her time with the roommate because I saw her only long enough for her to ask a question and respond to another. Before she peeped out the door, I had no clue anyone was in there. I said I think she told me her name but I’m awful with names even sober so. He started getting kinda hostile and cutting me short. I repeated exactly what I told him the first time: I’m only speaking on what I witnessed and what I know to be true. So, if you and she are correctly reciting the time, place, person being accused, this accusation is untrue. He first makes a bitchy threat like “you know these girls who lie for these athlete boys can really get in trouble? They all end up broke after the NFL anyway if they even make it. Lying for a friend is illegal, that’s breaking the law and will get YOU in jail.” I lost all my fear of speaking to a police officer at this point because they KNOW this man did not just call me a liar to my face despite my 1:2 of the evidence already fucking up this accusation. I told him that I honestly wasn’t a fan either professionally or personally of “Lee” and I would lie for no one regardless of friendship or status about this, I’d turn in my own flesh and bloood brother and sing like a bird if I caught him doing any sex offender shit. So again, I told this slow man with 2 braincelle this was the reason I asked about how sure he was and he believed the victim was, on the time, place, person, etc. Officer says something along the lines of “well, something happened to this girl and this boy’s gonna be hurtin for it. Someone’s getting charged here.” Which I dunno bout y’all, maybe I’m reading it wrong. But What I gathered from that is: “I’ve decided to be judge and jury in this situation and moreorless declare this young man guilty despite evidence in front of my own eyeballs that shows that there is a good chance the accused is innocent.

I have no idea why this happened. But after we spoke to that dickhead cop it was dropped relatively quickly. I don’t remember now if she pulled the charges herself or the state denied to prosecute. And even still, this followed him. The internet is forever. When his great grandkids google his college career, that will show up. Please keep in mind this was a black athlete, playing ball for a big college in the south, with a white girl accuser, all the cops I saw at that station were white in the short time I was there and at least the one I spoke to had his mind made up. He was loud and clear about that. He said basically the same to my friend who was interviewed separately, that he was determined to convict him, he was “the one”. This city I’m speaking of has been sued for police brutality against BPOC and I’ve heard my friends/classmates getting called the N word (hard ER) in the broad, open day light. So yeah add that info in with the rest and come to your own conclusion.

Before anyone comes for my throat again: idk exactly what DID happen but I know what DID NOT. Which to be clear, is pretty specifically: this rape with this person, did not happen here and at this time. So I’m not saying something didn’t happen but under different circumstances. I know trauma can mess with memories and if something did happen under different circumstances, I am so sorry that happened to her, I wouldn’t wish sexual assault on my worst enemy. I’m also not saying she necessarily had ill intentions or knew it would proceed and go viral as it did. The point is I just don’t know, no clue. Not throwing any blame or shade her way, all blame and shade on that cop though. ACABs, no excuse for his ass.

Anyway, y’all don’t gotta believe this since it’s been a few years and I highly doubt that stuff is anywhere in my phone like 4 iPhones and two laptops later. No reason to front, I don’t gain anything by lying but a guilty conscience. But this scenario that I btw, very much did not wish to be a part of, showed me another side of things. Can we agree to yes of course, trust and support women but also trust evidence and testimony? While, yes, stats show few women lie about this, can we at the same time understand questioning and thoroughly investigating such a heinous crime? Can we also recognize the system is literally built to “serve & protect” some by severely and systematically oppressing others? There are people, too many damn people, who have lost absolutely everything, served major time in big boy maximum security 23-1s, and have been put to death, based on biases and little to no evidence.

Next time you see an accusation, regardless of what it is, please do a little research. Make your own conclusion. Put yourself in their shoes, would you want to be “convicted” (either legally or through SM bullshit) on a snip it of convo with almost no information/context? Called a rapist cause you led someone on? No. You wouldn’t. Actually for any crime for that matter. You would reasonably ask and expect for it to be fair, two sided, and with as much evidence or info as possible. So let’s treat musicians, athletes, influencers, celebs the same way. Let’s not condemn before gathering as much information as possible. If not, I am so afraid we will drive an innocent person to suicide. We would all feel so guilty if someone was driven to suicide over false or misleading statements. Let’s avoid this, please.

#2020 #people aint gon like this one #assault #SA #metoo #accusations #incarceration #also most importantly ACABs

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