#ignore me lol i just need to get this in writing to feel lighter im literally going insane here w this being stuck in my head

[unnamednarrat0r]

thinking about how the master is always punished for their goodness. how they time and time again revert back to being good in the case of losing memory and their self-imposed understanding of their destiny. how they believe that evil is within their nature and figure that they have no choice in the matter (because of the previous act of their choice being robbed in said matter). how the doctor is both the master's salvation and absolute doom. how the doctor created the master. how the doctor's childhood ὕβρις is what sets them both up for eternal suffering. the doctor dooms the master, the master responds in turn for all eternity. cause and effect. how the master's chosen title not only represents their need for control of others but also ultimately themselves. they seek control of their destiny (of which they have none) because they had no autonomy in the Fatal Decision, that was made by the doctor for the both of them. so the master dooms themselves in an attempt to make this appear as an elaborate choice - so they have a choice, even if it's superficial and a facade. how thoschei are eternally self-destructive to one another - no matter what they do they are doomed by the narrative.

#ignore me lol i just need to get this in writing to feel lighter im literally going insane here w this being stuck in my head #theyre both so fucked #main range 49 #big finish #thoschei #doctor who

[woofwoofwolf]

Go home, Hobie Brown pt. 2

Hobie Brown x reader

Part 1:

Notes: Alt and aro ace reader (although that’s less relevant here), fluff-ish, reader remains GN but might have a writing bias towards fem, Hobie does some illegal shit, Hobie and reader are adults, use of (y/n), no phonetic spelling of Hobie’s accent, brit written by a European sue me, he’s probably a bit OOC in this one,

“Why does reader work at a factory and not, say, a pub? That’s a little weird isn’t it?” it’s bc I work at a factory and this is once again ✨wish fulfillment✨

So this initially was something else, but I realized that it was similar in structure to my previous work and that if I reworked it a little bit, it would be a nice addition to that. Is this a series now? I fucking hope not, I have a bad track record finishing those. Loosely connected two shot for now. I might come back tonight to tweak some stuff, but I think it is in a readable state lol

Pls dont repost anywhere thx ✨️

You tried your best to ignore him. An half hearted attempt to deprive him of the reaction he wanted while you continued to flatten out your stack of cardboard boxes, throwing them into the container next to you. Hobie was standing right in front of you, not having said anything to you since he arrived. He stood far enough away from you for it to appear casual and incidental, but close enough for him to still tower over you.

Finally, his patience caved. “…hey,” he said.

“Hey, Hobie,” your tone was cool. You didn't feel as embarrassed now that there were no people around, right outside of the small factory you worked at.

“What are you doing?”

You peered up at him with a smirk on your face. “I need to throw out these boxes. You know, for my job? My job that I have at this factory that we’re currently at. That you jumped a fence over to get to just now.” You gestured towards the fence right in front of you.

“Ey no way,” Hobie laughed as if he hadn't known all along. “You think they got cameras?”

You shrugged, all the while continuing your work. “We have a front door. You could’ve just talked to the lady at the front desk. She might have let you through, you know?”

“Nah, didn't like the look of her.”

"She probably wouldn't have liked the look of you either to be fair," you laughed. Technically, she'd be right, Hobie was trespassing. But she was a sour tart anyways, so you understood Hobie’s comment.

"What's wrong with those boxes anyways?" He pointed. "They look brand new."

You had noticed that he had been antsy about that. He probably didn't like you throwing out boxes that were still more than usable. It wasn’t something you agreed with either, but it wasn’t up to you.

"Dunno." You answered. "I don't think theres anything wrong with them perse. They probably prepared more than they needed."

"That's IT?! What a bloody waste," He gave the container a kick after his outburst. "Why are you contributing to this,"

"Boss's orders" you gave him a cheeky salute.

"I'm disappointed in you," You choked back a laugh.

"I knew you would be. I'm part of the machine, Hobart," You stuck out your hands and did a mock robot walk. “they’re coming to get you, Hobart-” 

Hobie pushed your arms back to your sides. His hands lingered there longer than your heart could handle "That stupid uniform too... They're stripping you of all the important bits."

"Well.” You said, hoping to go back to a lighter tone. “If you know of an anarchist version of this part-time job where I can come and go when I want, where I barely have to speak to people and where I make this much money, doing the workload equivalent of Homer Simpsons job, then let me know." It was true, this was the easiest part time you've ever had. "If you look at it like that, I'm practically stealing from the boss, don't you think?"

"I know of a job like that." He said, playing along. "It's called 'dating me'. heard It's got real good benefits too. "

"Ohhh does that include the part that I dont have to talk to my boss?" Hobie’s big dumb smirk dropped to an amused smile.

"No, I'd prefer if you kept doing that to be honest."

You couldn't hold it in and you awkwardly laughed alongside him.

"Can I have them?" He asked out of the blue.

"Pardon?"

"The boxes.”

"What do you need cardboard boxes for?" You put the box you had picked up back on the pile. "Don't become a hoarder, Hobie, I'll stop visiting you guys."

"Not me," he picked up one of the boxes to inspect. "For Gwendy. These are the exact size she uses to ship her clothes in when she sells them online."

You looked at him with narrowed eyes. If he took the few remaining boxes, you could finish up and go back inside, which was tempting.

Before you could answer him, the door to the building opened.

"Hey (y/n)," your manager said. "I came to check on you. Who's this..?" She frowned at Hobie, who was obviously not supposed to be there. Hobie looked troubled, even though he liked testing the boundaries he didn't want to get you fired over something like this. Which is honestly something he should have thought of before coming over, but what can you do.

"Actually," you said in the most somber tone you could muster. You placed your hand on Hobie’s arm in a comforting gesture. "Hobie just told me his grandma passed away this morning." You felt him stiffen up, his emotions shifting from confused to amused to acting out sadness in a split second.

Hobie, of course, didn't have a grandma in his life.

"Oh..." your manager said, you knew how empathetic she was. "I'm so sorry to hear that."

“I’m sorry ma’m.. I know I’m not supposed to be here, but,“ He let out a very fake sob and you suppressed the desire to roll your eyes. “I just know how close (y/n) was to my nan... I’ll be going now...“

Before he went though, he turned around and grabbed an entire armful of cardboard boxes. Leaving your manager stunned. Hobie walked towards the fence gate.

“You perhaps got a key for this gate? Ah, you do? Thank you I’ll be leaving now, Cheers.“

Your manager looked at you when he left. “Ah well. Nan would have hated for those boxes to go to waste.”

---------

Alright wow, I'm being so productive with fics at the moment this is kind of crazy.

I hope he isn't TOO out of character? I think it's really hard to get his speech pattern right. And then I don't just mean his accent, but how that interacts with his cheeky and confident way of talking. But my biggest pet peeves in fics of his at the moment are a) phonetic spelling of his accent and b) people who write fake and cringey British slang. (He doesn't constantly speak in cockney rhyme in the movie ppl lol) Bonus point if both are true, haha... I've lived in England, but honestly, getting it right is difficult, and I still feel like I'm having him say american phrases 😭

#hobie brown #spider punk #spiderverse #hobie brown x y/n #hobie brown x you #hobie brown x reader #spiderpunk x reader

[say-hi-intrepid-heroes]

holiday insanity asks (now I've got Virtual Insanity stuck in my head :'D )

what are your thoughts on chess? are you any good?

what about american football - does it tickle your fancy?

when brushing your teeth, do you start with the top row or the bottom row?

carrots: are there any meals they elevate for you, or do they just fill out the roster?

have you ever hugged someone and wanted to never let go?

thoughts on paper? (be it paper-so-thick-it's-almost-card, glossy paper, old-book-paper, freshly-opened-ream-of-printer-paper, tissue paper, fancy-notebook-paper). Have you ever used special paper as part of a specialist role like idk what paper architects use to draw out building diagrams on but I feel like that stuff's gotta be pretty fancy

do you especially like candles?

are there any interactions with birds you especially appreciate, either recently or when you were younger?

any resolutions for 2024?

have you noticed how the clouds at night seem to be lighter than the sky on one side, and darker than the sky on the other side? like a criss-crossing of two gradients.

secret handshakes - are they all their cracked up to be?

when was the last time you smelt the smell of lavender?

do you have a cooking oil of choice?

[ID:

Jonathan Frakes on the set of Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction, looking into the camera inquisitively, while sat at a table full of household objects. The dark and vaguely gothic set behind him is washed out by bright floor lights pointing up at the camera.

/end ID]

started typing a buncha questions & then it started to feel like Jonathan Frakes Asks You Things so I reformatted some of the early questions :D feel free to ignore as many as you like - including all of them if you feel so inclined - hope you have a restful next few days <3

i can always count on you to send asks lol <3

thoughts on chess? hey it's fun, it's a cool game, but holy shit there are some overly competitive people out there. i love creative chess set designs tho.

american football? let me be clear: i grew up in the american south - american football was all anyone talked about. do i understand any of it? no. do i enjoy it? also no. will i take any opportunity to get free food? yes, and so i ended up going to a lot of superbowl parties. i don't like the sport however.

brushing teeth? i actually got up and went to brush my teeth so i could answer this question. turns out i start on the bottom left.

carrots? okay i gotta be honest i have a hard time getting behind the texture of carrots. i think it's because of that thing where a the force to bite through a carrot is similar to how much you need to bite through a finger? anyway the only thing i can really eat them in is something where they match the shape of the food around them (like long strips of them in soba noodles or shavings of them in rice are two things i can get behind)

have you ever hugged someone and never wanted to let go? literally any time anyone genuinely hugs me. (not those silly family greeting hugs - i hate those). but like if someone gives me a hug goodbye, or just out of affection, i physically have to be removed from the hug because i wont let go on my own. (im so goddamn touch starved but we're not gonna talk about it)

paper? christ dude i fucking cherish paper. it's such a mentally ill english major thing to say, but i love the texture of rough paper. i've never used special paper for anything (aside from maybe fancy paper in art class) but i absolutely love homemade paper. it's got such Texture and it's so nice to smell and touch and write in. any paper that isn't perfectly smooth, or has texture is so so good imo

candles? i love candles!! fire is so rad, and i love to use smells as a sensory transition from one project/task to the next. candles, diffusers, gum, and cooking are some of my personal favourite ways to do that.

birds? one of my only memories from when i was younger was talking to a bird outside my window. i just imitated it and it would respond, and this happened all the time. i love birds (as long as they aren't big. fuck that one bird in particular at the zoo) also i fucking love crows.

2024 resolutions? i want to find people to care for. (heads up: deep personal shit) i'm finally in a position socially where im able to be authentic and caring with myself, and now i can turn that care outwards. i've spent the last ~4 years extremely closed off, and im around new people now and want to change that. i don't know if this goal will manifest in a romantic relationship or just deep friendships, but i want to take care of people and make them feel loved in a way i never had.

clouds? YES. dont even get me started on clouds, i love them so much and i find this fascinating.

secret handshakes? i feel like a major part of the handshake is that you show it off to other people, and therefore it's not really secret. i've had my fair share though, so i can't hate on them too much.

last time you smelled lavender? literally right now. like i said, very smell-sensory-oriented, and i have a candle burning right now that has lavender in it.

do you have a cooking oil of choice? i don't use a lot of things that require oil as a major ingredient specifically, so if i just need to have something in the pan i'll actually try to use butter if the food is okay with that. otherwise, i'll kind of just use whatever i have.

#you've always got the best questions i swear #tysm <3 #literally i so bad needed the distraction #holidays are wild atm #ask #asks

[thegamingcatmom]

helloo again! it’s the same asker as last time (the pee ask!)

i just wrote/sent a follow up ask but i don’t think it actually sent!😭 ‘cause tumblr is dumb! grrr! so im writing it out again! but if it magically did send then you can just ignore this ask haha!

so i was messaging to say i’m sorry if my ask came across as really blunt to you because i really didn’t mean for it to sound that way. but when i just read it back again along with your nice reply, i realized my ask sounded kinda super blunt and could maybe read as sorta… judgey?? like maybe it came across like i was gonna kinkshame or something?

but i promise that wasn’t the case at all!! i definitely would never kinkshame anyone ever!! and i didn’t mean to sound blunt. it’s just that i’m autistic and sometimes when i communicate over written message i sound blunt in a negative way even though i don’t mean to. i struggle with sometimes coming across as rude in messages when i am asking questions, even though i don’t mean to, when in reality i’m getting straight to the point in my message because i’m excited to be asking a question about something.😅

i actually sent that ask about the piss kink because im into omorashi (or omo for short) which is like getting turned on by the feeling of needing to pee/having a full bladder and also wetting (or getting turned on by seeing someone else needing to pee/making someone else hold their full bladder and seeing someone else wetting it making someone else wet themselves etc).

so seeing it show up in most of your ellie posts just made me wonder if that sorta thing was something you yourself were personally into (‘cause obviously lots of writers put their own sexual interests in their writing) or if it was something you thought maggot momma herself would be into.😊

Hey again, pee-anon!

I actually didn´t receive any other ask from you (cause Tumblr is, indeed, pretty stoopid sometimes) so it´s a good thing you´ve sent it again. 😜

No need to apologize at all, really. I didn´t think it was rude or judgey or anything like that. I simply took it for what it was - an ask about a piss kink lol. Also, it´s only natural to be curious about certain things, especially if you feel like you can identify with it in some way. It also shows me that my posts evoke some sort of reaction at least, so I´m happy to answer any question someone might have, really. 😊

(Unless you decide to be nasty af about it because in that case - you can just f right off and Imma send Maggot Momma after your sorry ass.)

As I´ve stated before, I myself don´t see it as a kink. More as a bit of a lighter moment in between all the madness and blood and guts and gore galore that´s going on in this (cursed) building.

Now, would Maggot Momma be into it? Considering I see her as a rather animalistic being with primal instincts in general (such as dry humping you into oblivion) I think she could be into it. But not in an overly sexual way, more like

I´m in the middle of something here (that something being you) and I cba about your worries rn (or ever) because your smell and if you gotta be like that - all dramatic as per usual- then she´s just gonna make herself a bit heavier on purpose and squish you a bit more all while never taking her eyes off you and basically daring you to do it because it would also show her the absolute power she has over you and-

...Okay yeah, I can see why Maggot Momma might be into it after all lmao.

Now I might have to write a little something about it because now I wanna see it play out, whoopsie.

I´m in the middle of writing yet another mommy kink post (you can thank mommy-kink-anon for that) but Imma keep your ask in mind for sure, so stay tuned!

#evil dead rise #ellie evil dead rise #maggot mommy #deadites #evil dead rise...but gayer

[andypantsx3]

andie, im roughly plotting a multichapter fic rn -- and im curious how you go about writing your main conflicts/storylines? ive been writing for ages, but am relatively out of practice with multichaptered fics, and somewhat worried about coming up with conflicts that suit the setting/characters (rather than being able to really toy with both when writing original content.) obviously, you dont need to get super in depth, im just curious about how you come up w a main conflict for a fic, and how central/present it is (like a somewhat subdued conflict that is almost somewhat passive in comparison to a very present conflict, like a fight scene written and shown with detail.) feel free to ignore this/this isnt super pressing, but im just sorta curious + looking for some motivation. i love your work, and think youre Incredibly talented <3 have a lovely day and eat some good veggies for me

Hello my love!! Omg sending you my best plotting vibes and hoping you come up with something good!!

I have to say the conflict really varies from story to story and depends on the kind of story I want to tell. A lot of my fics are lighter, so they don't have much in the way of central conflict. So I'm not sure I will have great answers here, but I will try my best.

For the lightest level of fun, feel-good fic, I think the things that work best are common struggles that the average person faces, and/or ridiculous situations, because those are not very mentally taxing to read or work through along with the reader, except in terms of second-hand embarrassment lol.

For example, I've previously gone for project deadlines and working with a difficult partner (savvy, statistically significant), overcoming self-doubt/obliviousness and realizing someone loves you (if i could keep cool, fingerprints, vested interest, unconventional).

Or I've given the characters some ridiculous prop/costume (just my (blood) type, baby are you playing tricks 'cause you look like a treat?) or situation like a quirk accident that actually facilitates a confession rather than prevents one (damage, all in a day's quirk).

For fics of like, intermediary lightness, I think some sort of situational obstacle that prevents the characters being together works well, just because it is a more complicated situation, but you can get kind of fun/ridiculous with how absurd the situation is as well. I obviously have a super huge thing for class differences so that is usually my main bag (Deceiving the Duke, in cinders), and I will throw in some hidden identity element on the side to complicate it just a little bit further.

Only on rare occasions do I try my hand at a larger-scale external conflict. I'm not quite sure how to give tips on how to pick one out. I generally tend towards a sort of case fic/mystery approach to these, like, who is committing a string of crimes? (ab intra, war paint) or how do we confirm someone is doing bad stuff? (something in the water), and lastly, how do we keep someone alive in the face of targeted hate? (incendiary). It's these kinds of fics where the fight scenes generally come into play, and act as a sort of pay-off or climactic moment in the fic.

What I have never tried my hand at but I think makes a truly amazing conflict is a combination of case fic plus some societal snapshot/commentary, like Mermie does in her fics.

The throughline in Mermie's fics for the big three (surrender, something (just like this), and the eventual Shouto fic), is an anti-quirk terrorist group targeting quirkless civilians and attempting to give them quirks, which typically results in them being unable to handle the new power and either accidentally killing themselves or hurting others around them. The pro heroes are constantly working the case, trying to figure out who is behind these efforts, while also trying to protect the Reader characters who inadvertently get involved.

It's really consistent with the themes of BNHA as a whole and serves as a similar snapshot of a society still struggling with the concept of quirks. And it allows for a very strong throughline of tension as you have opportunities to lay out a mystery, grow the tension, and insert fight scenes or other scenes of societal devastation.

Anyway I'm not sure how helpful this was, but these are my general thoughts!! Please let me know if you're looking for more specific pointers, though, and I'm happy to try to dig more into some of this!!

#ask andie

[liquidstar]

hi i saw your post bout pro ship going around and Im?? I mean you deleted it so I guess that means u changed ur mind (i also read ur other asks so I know ur not One of Those)

i just find it so weird that pro ship is associated with pedophilia bc like..I always thought it meant "idc if u ship stucky or stony go ship whatever u want"! but now this whole thing reminds me of steven universe fans making an artist depressed for drawing a character thinner or lighter and bc of that i find myself siding with Pro-ship rather than those... but I just wish people dont think pro ship meant oh! i support incest and lolicon ://

as someone in the spectrum this whole discourse is especially so difficult. i also dont want to get "cancelled" when i say Pro-ship (the one with the meaning i believe in) is good bc I really dont want drama at all, but the term that I thought that should he positive and drama free IS the drama itself. ugh. sorry for the rant.

but anyways that post you deleted about hitting people with car is :/ yikes. it just gives me Toxic Fandom vibes, death threats arent cool no matter who it is. im glad you deleted it! posts similar to that are the reason why I feel like "pro ship" looks less toxic tbh even if I dont have any problematic ships and I dont approve of them either.

sorry if this ask is long! I just type this way when im thinking of a lot of things!

anon.... i deleted the post bc i was sick of getting pedo apologists writing essays in my notes about why jacking off to child porn is actually ok and healthy and getting harassment from them. yeah, surprise surprise, the people who defend cp harass people and only use the "harassment" thing as a way to create a weird strawman character to gain the moral highground. but it was the "pro shippers" who just a few months back harassed a voice actor with images of cp because they said they were uncomfortable with it because of their trauma. clearly though theyre the good guys who want safety in fandom spaces, right anon?

i stand by everything i said 100% and if you cant understand why youre either ignorant or lack critical thinking completely based on the way you just assume that Obviously i must have come around to the "pro ship" way despite its links to pedo apologism. if the fine line between you and someone who jacks off to lolicon hentai is so thin you need to distinguish between it every time you talk about it theres a problem. there is no "good version" of it, its just a foot-in-the-door tactic to make you slowly become more OK with their batshit logic over time. its intentionally designed that way. of-fucking-course people associate "pro-ship" with pedophilic content, you yourself literally had to distinguish between those parts of the "community" and i feel like i need to remind you that the whole "pro-ship" thing came side-by-side with MAPs but was later watered down to seem more friendly and welcoming, to trick people into thinking its just a friendly fandom place.

as if you cant be against harassment or bad faith media criticism without being "pro ship". similarly you can be against pedophilic content w/o being an "anti" and i dont consider myself one bc thats a huge strawman caricature, even you yourself used phrasing in that regard lol, i guess im not "one of those" because im not someone with weird "us-vs-them" groupthink. but that being said im obviously against the community that welcomes people who blindly support cp based on an all-or-nothing mentality and borderline cultlike tactics built into it, ones that youre playing straight into. if you have good intent get the fuck out of there while you still can and start examining yourself more. and get the fuck out of your own head with this fear of being "canceled"

idk which post you read that you took that away that i "changed my mind" but go read these instead instead of projecting what you must think is the "correct opinion" onto me

#also the fact that anon thought the post was advocating hitting ppl with cars is just stupid in of itself i dont even have to refuse that #thats just no reading comprehension at all #but pro shippers dont have that in general #theyre the ones that thing narratives dont have meanings that represent real world concepts lmao

[sunshinetoshi]

when tendou buzzed his hair

timeskip!tendou x reader

A/N: fluffy one-shot for TENDOU SATORI of when he buzzed his hair off during the timeskip. yeah i personally get major best friend vibes when i think of tendou but writing this was still cute and fun! but maybe that’s my ushi bias showing cause i know there are tendou simps out there.[edit: yeah im now a simp for tendou lol it was bound to happen] i had this idea written up a while ago and i needed a break from writing an angsty wip fic so i revisited this heheh. also ignore my boring title pls and thank you bahaha. enjoy!

“Satori you have some tangles,” you said softly as you try to massage through them.

He had his head rested on your lap as you two lounged on the couch. He started squirming.

“Am I hurting you?” you asked when you noticed.

“No, but it’s starting to get annoying.”

“Me or the book?” you teased, gesturing to the book in his hands.

“No,” he whined and sat up to face you properly. “This mop that is my hair.”

You pout. You liked his hair. “What do you mean?”

“It tangles but I’m too lazy to brush through it, and it’s gotten so long it’s harder for you to run your fingers in my hair like you usually do so it’s not as calming anymore. And at work I have to wear a hair net and my toque blanche doesn’t sit as nicely as it used to.”

Your nose crinkled. “Your toque what?”

He laughed and booped your nose, “The funny chef’s hat. We’ve been over this.”

“Oh, the tall funny hat, gotcha.” You giggled and brushed his hair back. “Well what do you want to do, shave it off?” You laughed at the thought.

A week later you were heading home from work when you got a call from Tendou. “Hey bubba, are you on your way home?” He sounded so excited.

It made you smile, “Yeah, I just left the building. Why?”

“I have a surprise for you. But I still have a couple more hours here at the shop. Oh and I’m going to grab us some takeout on my way home.”

“Oo, a surprise? Can I have a hint?”

You could picture the grin on his face. “Oh you want a hint huh?”

Even though he couldn’t see you, you nodded.

“Well hints are for losers. Kisses!” And the line went dead. Your jaw dropped and you wanted to laugh and grumble at the same time as you continued home.

You watched the time go by with excitement, waiting for Satori to get home. You had no idea what the surprise could be. There were no special occasions coming up that would warrant a gift of any kind. One idea came to mind but it made you sigh. If the big surprise was another gift basket of chocolate that someone ordered and then cancelled you were going to lose it.

Your phone rang again. “Hello,” you answered.

“I’m here!” he sang into the phone. But you could hear an echo of him outside of your front door.

You laughed, “Are you standing by the door?”

“Yes, I want you to close your eyes. No peeking.”

“Oh my gosh,” you giggled, “Okay, hang up the phone so I can close my eyes.”

You set the phone down and covered your eyes with your hands. You listened as the doorknob opened and his usual mindless happy humming entered your home.

After he locked the door and set down his bags he spoke up again. “Okay. Countdown everyone! Ten, nine, eight-”

“Hey!” you laughed. “Just start at three I’ve been waiting hours.”

“Stubborn,” he joked. “Fine, fine. Three, two, one! Turn around and open!”

You quickly turned and tried to adjust to the light as you scan Tendou. You gasped and slapped a hand over your mouth before you burst into laughter. “Babe, when I said that it was sarcasm.”

There he stood with his hair buzzed off.

“Oh I know, but once you said it I couldn’t get it out of my head. And then today I had an extra long lunch break so I found a barber! I feel so much lighter it’s weird.” He theatrically strikes a pose, “Well what do you think?” He did a little spin as you walked closer to him to inspect it for yourself. When you reached him he grabbed your hand and leaned down to kiss it. He stood back up straight and looked you in the eye. “Do you like it?”

You could hear a little apprehension in his voice, like he was seeking for your approval. But he had nothing to worry about. Though you didn’t mean for it to sound so blunt. “You look hot.”

All his usual cockiness went down the drain and he went red. “I do?”

“Mhmm. It reminds me of the hair that guy had in that movie we saw two weeks ago but you look waaay better. I like it.” You rested your hands on his chest and looked at his hair again. “Oh yeah, I’m digging it.”

He started grinning when a thought popped into your head. With it buzzed you couldn’t run your fingers through his hair anymore.

As he wrapped his arms around you you asked him, “Can I feel?”

He nodded and you reached for his hair. You touched his hair and felt around his head. It was definitely different but it made you smile, “Oh I am so for this.”

Tendou gave a hearty laugh and pulled you in for a kiss.

#haikyuu #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu fluff #tendou x reader #tendou satori #tendō satori #☀tara writes☀

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 - Harada Sakura Epilogue

This is my first post of the month, so I’ll start by asking you to please support me if you can through my ko-fi, and paypal or patreon which provides access to my hakuoki blog translations and early access to my postings. Also, please let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my Lookout List since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that I can share…. and if you are able to remove watermarks from a video, please contact me….

Well it’s Canada Day. Hope everyone is staying safe during this time (especially if you’re out West with the heat), and while I could probably write an essay about how I can understand why people will take issue of fireworks and parties today, I don’t exactly think that’s the best way to address the issues going on, though I do feel somewhat compelled to say something. I mean, I’m of an ethnic descent where the immigrants of my common ancestry were subjected to a head tax and were actively targeted by the government for discrimination, so I do have some historical justification for not wanting this particular day celebrated. However, at the same time, it’s because I acknowledge that more than one generation of my family (and on both sides of my family tree) immigrated to this country that my family and relatives have been given opportunities none of us would have had otherwise, or have had the same rights, that I truly appreciate living in Canada, and I know that other people will have similar reasons for doing the same... which is also why I refuse to be an ignorant citizen. I guess that’s partially owed to how I acknowledge that I’m realistic in knowing what change I can affect, but beyond that, I do see it is part of my civic duty to be educated about what happens in the country I live in because I just can’t pretend that everything is all sunshine and rainbows... So, today, like most of the other Canada Days I can recall, I reflect on how grateful I am to be a citizen of the country I call home, and how thankful I am in knowing how far it has come, but I also acknowledge that it still has plenty of flaws and that there are things that still need to be changed so the country is better for “all of us” instead of just ‘some of us’.

 Anyway, this month’s translations are all from Yuugiroku 2.... and this is is my only translation of 『恋秘めし日』 content since I was never able to find any more of these as copy-able text.  

Also, on a lighter note, i can’t believe it’s been more than a decade since i actually watched an anime. i mean, i’m normally satisfied with just reading the manga for something, but my cravings for yuumori content actually drove me to the anime (mostly good and while it was full of feels, im upset that IG cut out the adventure of one student from the anime)... which feels somewhat odd when i consider how ive yet to watch the hakuoki anime or movies. still, for hakuoki, my desire for more content did lead to 2 years of translating lol. 

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 - Harada Sakura Epilogue

Translation by KumoriYami

At the end of our conversation, I took a light breath and raised my head.

A gust of wind then blew, and the leaves over our heads made rustling sounds.

Chizuru: The sunlight is very strong today.

Harada: Yeah. It's nice that the weather's finally cleared up, but...... the hot weather in Kyoto, and this moisture really feels unbearable.

Chizuru: That's true......

As I spoke, I turned my gaze back towards Harada-san......

Chizuru: Ah......

This numbness in my head felt like an illusion.

Was it because I spent so long talking under such fierce sunlight.

I seemed to be feeling a bit dizzy.

Harada: Hey, are you okay? You don't look very good. Are you feeling unwell/sick / Do you feel sick/unwell? ?

Chizuru: I-I'm fine. I just feel a bit cold......

I didn’t want him to feel worried, so I responded with a smile/smiled as I answered——.

My legs however seemed to have lost their strength, and the view in front of me/everything around me began to blur.

Just as I was about to fall and hit the ground.

Harada: Oi, Chizuru, get a hold of yourself!

My swaying body was caught by a pair of strong hands.

Then in that moment/A moment later——.

Suddenly, Harada-san's face became incredibly closer to mine

Manly eyebrows, slender eyes, and even each individual eyelash could be seen at his distance.

Due to how sudden this was, I couldn't say anything as/while my mouth/lips trembled/ and only my mouth was opening and closing/mouth was in a state of opening and closing.

The heat from where our foreheads were touching, and how Harada-san's hand was touching my back were the only things that I was completely aware of.

Harada:......For now, let's check your temperature...... Nn.

Chizuru: Wh-What, Harada-san...... what are you doing......!

I felt/was so embarrassed and could only/was only able to squeeze out that one sentence.

Harada: Recently, a cold’s been going around headquarters. I'm worried that you might have caught/gotten it/infected by it/with it. 

Chizuru: Is, is that so......

Harada-san did that because he was worried about me......

Chizuru: Um, Harada-san. I feel fine/I'm [feeling] fine, so......

Harada-san's expression however became very serious, and he spoke harshly/rebukingly.

Harada: What a stupid thing to say. What are you going to do if you get sick/If you get sick, what are you going to do? Although there's a saying about how doctors don't pay attention to their own health...... it wouldn't be funny if you got sick, as the daughter of a doctor. Besides, if you get sick, you might also pass it on to the others warriors.

That's true...... I couldn't bear to trouble the other warriors with my problems.

Chizuru:......I'm sorry, Harada-san.

I closed my eyes and desperately tried to supress my embarrassment as I allowed Harada-san to continue. 

His forehead remained against mine for a while as he checked my temperature, and finally/but eventually......

Harada:......I'm done, Chizuru. You don't seem to have a fever, and you can open your eyes now.

Harada-san spoke softly as he gently brushed my forehead with his fingers.

Harada: For now, you don't seem to have a cold, so don't worry. As long as you get sufficient rest, you should get better."

Chizuru: I, I see/Ye-Yes. Thank you......

I felt incredibly embarrassed...... I didn't dare look at Harada-san as I bowed my head in thanks.

Then, he showed a deliberate and teasing smile——.

Harada:......But why do you seem to be hotter now than before I took your temperature?

Chizuru: Th-That's because......!

Despite how he clearly knew the reason, he deliberately asked me such a nasty question......

I didn't know how to answer that, so/and I lowered head as I continued blushing/to blush. 

Harada: Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to tease you on purpose.

As he spoke, he put his large palm on top of my head.

Harada:.......Is it time for us to head back now? I don't know if you've been instructed to do anything/told to do something.

I......

continued chatting

brought this to an end <-

Chizuru: We've been talking for a while, so it should be time to return to to headquarters.

Harada: That's true/right. Though, I wish we could still continue this.

However, is it okay for you to go back to headquarters like this? Your entire face is very red.

Chizuru: It, it should get back to normal by the time we return to headquarters..... Can we take a small detour? My face/complexion should be back to normal after that. 

Harada: Well, that might true. But I don't want to see getting dizzy again. So don't force yourself/overdo it.

Chizuru: So-Sorry......

Harada: Don't worry about it. If you’re having a hard time, you can hold onto me 

As Harada-san spoke, he stroked my hair.

Harada: Then let's go back to headquarters, Chizuru. Everyone will be/is waiting for us.

Chizuru:......Yes.

While listening to my still intensely beating heart, Harada-san and I started walking back to headquarters.

-end-

one of these days, I am going to go watch the new Shaman King anime... though im not sure when that’ll be.  

also... for the record, I learned about the Sixties Scoop and residential schools sometime around 2004, when i was still in elementary school so I can unfortunately say that most of the news these days hasn’t really surprised me... and it’s also why I have a very negative bias towards certain entities. 

#Hakuoki #hakuouki #hakuoki game translation #hakuoki yuugiroku 2 #harada sanosuke #Yukimura Chizuru

[elrielllll]

14.“If you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart.” Fluffy?? Maybe??

Fluff?? Or angst?? How’s about BOTH

Also here is the link for the prompt list, keep them coming, I’m looking forward to writing them, (in between school work so bare with me lol)

Elain felt sorry for the bread dough. She really did. When she said that it was taking a beating, she meant it.

She had just come back from checking up on Nesta. Elain knew that she didn’t want to see her, she’d made that abundantly clear, but she couldn’t leave her alone.

Even so, Nesta’s outright refusal to see her had hurt, more than she’d ever admit, everyone already thought that she was fragile enough already.

This bread would not see her as weak though, not with the way she was slapping it onto the counter top. She was boss here.

The twins were busy, she didn’t know what they were doing but they had taken one look at her face and scarpered, rambling on about something they had to do. Elain was thankful for those two, but right now she wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone.

They knew when she wanted to be alone, but the only issue was when she had no one distracting her was that all her thoughts bubbled to the front of her mind and tended to overflow.

She needed something to take it out on, to channel it, and unfortunately the bread was the victim today. Last week it was the weeds.

Elain grabbed a bag of flour, ready to abuse the dough some more, when her hand slipped and it went everywhere. Everywhere.

She groaned, looking at the dusting that covered the counter, the bread, the floor and the table, how on earth did it manage to get there? She stomped her foot in anger, fists clenched, huffing through her gritted teeth and rubbing at her eyes- this was not her day.

She needed a brush. That was it, to sweep it up. She took one step and went flying, landing on her back with a squeal as all the air was knocked out of her. She lay there, eyes closed.

Just take deep breaths Elain. Then you won’t want to kill cooking ingredients.

She was sure the whole world was against her today. She sat up slowly, letting her head drop into her hands as she felt all the emotions from the last day fizzle up. She blinked back the sting of tears, crying wouldn’t solve anything.

“Elain?”

Elain quickly wiped away any tears that managed to escape and forced a smile onto her face before letting Azriel know where she was, “I’m here.”

He rounded the table to see her sitting in a pile of flour, it was all over her dress and it seemed to flock to her face. Her hair was covered in a dusting of white, she was sure that he thought she looked like an absolute mess. He wasn’t wrong.

He’d been home for a while by the looks of it, still in his leathers as usual, but his hair wasn’t tousled by the wind and his cheeks weren’t red from the cold. His eyebrows drew together slightly as he looked her over before stepping towards her, hand outstretched to help her up.

She waved him off, grabbing the counter to pull herself to her feet, “I’m fine, thank you.” He nodded, putting his hands in his pockets and stepping back, leaning his hip against the counter. His face betrayed nothing, as usual and Elain could feel herself flushing, why did he have to turn up just then?

She smoothed her hands over her apron, trying to regain a bit of dignity and turned around to get the brush, when she walked straight into the cupboard door.

She let out a yelp and  brought her hand up to her head, the other gripping a chair. She heard Azriel move towards her again, “are you-”

“I’m fine,” she hissed and then mastered herself, she didn’t mean to talk to him like that. “I’m fine.” Her voice was lighter this time, but her face was like thunder and she made sure to keep her back towards Azriel.

She reached up to slam the door shut and narrowly avoided slamming her fingers in the door as well. She let out a slow breath, she didn’t want to have a meltdown in front of Azriel.

Elain faced the bread that she was making again and got back to work, she had plenty of flower now she scoffed. Azriel was still stood there, and she could feel his gaze on her, watching her as he might do a frightened animal.

She ignored him, she wasn’t in the mood to talk, or be polite even, and Azriel was the only person she was comfortable enough with to ignore, so she just carried on and tried not to let the feeling of his eyes on her take over.

It felt like hours later when he finally spoke, “What’s wrong Elain?” He asked, and Elain thought that she’d never heard his voice so soft.

She chuckled a little, “that’s a loaded question isn’t it?”

He shifted and she just knew that he was cocking his head at her. “Well that depends, what’s on your mind?”

Maybe it was because someone was showing interest, or maybe it was that she was still covered in flower, or even maybe what had happened earlier, but Elain found that it all just came spilling out, “I’m alone!” She threw down her rolling pin, glaring at it when it glanced off her foot. “I’m alone,” she said again, quieter this time.

“Nesta doesn’t want me near her and Feyre’s too busy with her new family, which is great!” Elain threw her arms up and then stopped for a second. Azriel didn’t even move, if she thought he was being careful with her before, then she had no clue what to call this. 

“No, it is great.” Elain admitted, placing a hand on her forehead and the other on her hip. “I’m happy for her, she deserves it, and this,” she gestured around, “this is what I’ve always wanted for her, but I always just assumed that I’d be part of it too.” She looked down, hands gripping the fabric of her dress as the reality came crushing down on her.

She really was alone.

“And then to top it all off, I dropped my flour.” Elain gave a little laugh and her eyes welled up inhumanly fast. She blinked and looked up at Azriel through watery eyes. He was chewing the inside of his cheek, half looking like he wanted to go to her and half like he wanted to run very very far away. Maybe for the first time, Azriel had no clue what to do.

Elain sniffled, “if you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart.”

That got rid of any hesitation on his part and he was across the room in seconds, even managing to avoid slipping on the flour, was flour actually slippy or was she just clumsy? Elain didn’t know and did care when she closed her eyes and let herself be pulled into his arms. He wrapped one around her back, the other coming to cup the back of her head. She sighed as she was enveloped in his warmth, and was bombarded  by this overwhelming sense of safety. Elain couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a hug.

Elain looked at his shirt, seeing the flour attaching onto him. She rubbed at it, trying to get it off. “It’s fine,” he hummed.

Elain just pressed her face into his chest, inhaling deeply.

“You’re not alone Elain.”

Elain smiled against his shirt, “neither are you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes I know it’s cheesy IM SORRY

Tags:

@sleeping-and-books @meowsekai @awkward-avocado-s @superspiritfestival @abraxos-is-toothless @stars-falling @thesirenwashere @queen-of-glass @nite0wl29 @negativenesta @illyrian-bookworm @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn @b00kworm @tswaney17 @qoingcrazy @lovemollywho @tyheronthorn @gorl-power  @fucking-winchester-trash @keshavomit @a-happybird @mysweetvilllain @captainthefangirlofhp @rhiannonn22 @maastrash @azriel-archeronn @empress-ofbloodshed @judexcardanxgreenbriar @dreamerforever-5

#elriel #elain #elain archeron #azriel #elain x azriel #elrielllll #elrielllll writes #elrielllll one shots #elrielllll asks #elriel als

[jmkitsune]

1-50 of the "be nosy asks" 😂

1. What’s your sexual orientation?

Im a demisexual

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

well I jsut finished stargate atlantis so let's go with that cause I did SG1/SGA in like a few months

TEMPTED to do universe buut we'll see

3. Ever done any drugs?

nope- not a huge fan (by that i mean I actually can't stand drugs)

4. What piercings do you want?

I'd like to redo my ears at some point

5. How many people have you kissed?

uhhh we'll say (in sexual/romantic way)

10 people

6. Describe your dream home.

clock tower penthouse overlooking the bay near the ocean or something

7. Who are you jealous of?

those who are successful

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

simpsons futurama or daria

9. Do you watch porn?

nope

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

nah I have this blog, a star wars one I kinda forgot about/let die, and one for my first book trilogy I may wipe at some point cause I /have never gotten what I wanted to do with it/

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

beach

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

to never work again and enjoy comfort

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

nah

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

pay off debt

get my own place

not worry about bills for a while

15. Are you in a relationship?

I am not that being said if someone wants me- they gotta earn me cause I'm expensive AS FUCK

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

nah like I follow sex workers but that is cause either friends/acquaintances and I support their hard work but thats bout it

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

nah

18. What tattoos do you want?

omg too many lol I always want new tattoos

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

I probably would just legally change my name to JM instead of using it as a preferred name

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

Star Wars, Star Gate, streaming, writing, gaming, uhhh *shrugs*

21. Describe your best friend.

stubborn, funny, pain in the ass, smart, irritating, dependable, makes me wanna throw things at them, protective, short etc

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

Insert every person I know who is attractive cause hi everyone is attractive in someway shape or form

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

Skillet, Linkin Park, Protomen, MCR, Fall out Boy

24. What are three places you want to travel?

Pacific North West

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

relaxing

26. What’s your favorite season?

actual spring where its not too hot/too cold and enjoyable

27. What’s your pet peeve?

people who willfully want to be ignorant because they think its better than being educated since they think ALL educated people are elitist

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

myself

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

and here is where I catch SO MUCH FLACK

scott pilgrim

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

uhh I actually message a lot of people so like I dont think I need to do that here

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

digital baby

we're in 2021 - save the trees and give me more books to carry in a smaller lighter device :D

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

the ones I've written

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

Jedi meets Grisha, meets Cloud Strife, Loki and Scarlet Witch

34. What’s your coffee order?

I have not had coffee since high school

and my order then was a medium decaf extra extra from dunks

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

Im demi, crushes= confused friendship lines lol

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

of course, im human thats kinda the side effect of loving someone for a long time, there is always a shred of you that lingers for them

37. Have any tattoos?

I have SIX tattoos yes :D

two constellations (Orion/Pisces) on my wrists, my son of hades/twitch tattoo on my right forearm, my KH tattoos on my upper biceps, and my USB/IO Keyhole tattoo on the back of my neck

38. Do you drink?

not anymore, im a depressed drunk and I am very VERY uncomfortable around people who drink/are drunk

39. Are you a virgin?

NOPE

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

go sub to my patreon for a year and I'll tell ya ;D

41. How many followers do you have?

go follow all my places get me boosted so you guys follow me everywhere and you can actually see all the shit I put out online content wise besides what I reblog on here

tumblr - 1660

twitch- 416

twitter 337

instagram- 175

tiktok-1877

youtube- 116

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

Have you seen 1990s Brendan Fraser

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

im a shopaholic when depressed

44. Do you read erotica?

I have, and I'll be honest, there is a part of me that thinks it has quality of writing people should not overlook BUT its not for me I think

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

fun fact- I've only been on

46. How many people do you follow?

here- 275, tiktok 545, instagram- 392, twitter 442

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

none, I don't have celebrity crushes and shit (and before you say fraser- I can appreciate someone's attractiveness without having a crush, I'm demi, not blind)

48. Describe your ideal partner.

from two friends who know me best

- witty, witchy, nerdy, someone who I can idealize their flaws into quirks -pretty eyed, dark haired nerdy girl with curves (esp. bangin tiddies) ((I can't believe adrienne SERIOUSLY SAID THAT PART)) who is empathetic and intelligent and willing to work with you and communicate with you to build something solid and long lasting

49. Who do you text the most?

I text Icarus, Britt, and Adrienne the most

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

“That’s a tough one. I’d have to say April 25th, because it’s not too hot, not too cold. All you need is a light jacket!”

#its under the cut cause SOMEONE wanted all 50 questions answered #hope you're happy lol

[icyharrington]

Is It Wrong?- The Epilogue (Michael Langdon X Reader)

HELLO ALL!!! here is the long-awaited epilogue to finally finish the is it wrong series. i sincerely hope y’all enjoy this, and i am SO sorry for taking forever to write this!! i had some kind of mental block stopping me, but i finally forced myself to sit down and JUST DO IT. i wanna thank every last one of you who’ve supported this series of filth, especially the ones who’ve been here since the beginning. when i published that first chapter, i never realized just how much joy this fucked up little story would bring into my life. y’all are the best. 

plot: it’s been 5 years since your whirlwind fuckfest-turned-romance with your stepbrother, michael langdon, came to its angst-filled end. life is good, but there’s just one thing missing.

warnings: fuckboy michael, fem!Reader, post-high school au, fluff, some angst, cursing/talk of sexual shit/yanno the deal lmao. no smut..... IM SORRY LOL IT JUST DIDN’T FIT INTO WHAT I HAD PLANNED!!! but i hope y’all still like it regardless lmao

word count: 4k

tag list*: @alicecooper19 @wroteclassicaly @ritualmichael @sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 @trelaney @avesatanormalpeoplescareme @kissydevil @sloppy-wrist @michael-langdon-appreciation @ccodyfern @sojournmichael @starwlkers @theinevitableprophecy @divinelangdon @maso-xchrist @space-princesssss @ahslangdon101 @isabellaserpentiawesson @stupidocupido @bademliimagnum @nana15774 @urlocalgothb @hexqueensupreme @gold-dragon-slayer @pr1ncessd1e @langdonsboots @langdonstrash @isoldedax @fckinsupreme @hisgirlwonder @venusxxlangdon @obsessivenostalgicbaby @noelle525 @kleinegamerin @lambofcairo @kiiteiru @littledemondani @beriveri @dcvilrising @grossgayartist @featherpool-852 @discocalico @cryptid-coalition @nu-tt @diamcndscarred @chocolateandhorror @michaelsfrenchtoast @ms-mead @sarcasticbxtch20 @ringpop-poppy @coollangdon @s7venwonders @imjustasadhoe @melodylangdon @bahsasblog @codycrazy @sojournmichael @perfect-ginger-maniac @baphomet-wears-gucci @bigstudentpatrolbonk @langdonsgothgf @jazzcowgirl @a-n-t-s @blind-daydream @langdonsblood @ritualmichael @myluciferiscody @fentycoven @gracebtw @bongwaternation @fckinsupreme @thewalkingtrenchcoats @king-of-mischief-and-bitchez @hoseokchild @witchywcmans @satanicbimbo @mallorys-winter @langdonskillerqueen @anantarora @aradevil @anemia-doll @muralskins @funtomimagines @mrssgtjamesbuckybarnes @our-mrlangdon @lotsofhunny @sevenwonderwitch @horrorstreet @kpopmademedo-it @naughtygranger @codyshands @krazycags01 @skullag

*if you asked to be tagged but aren’t on my tag list, i apologize!!! some blogs just can’t be tagged for some reason :(

You looked out the window and onto the rain-slick city streets, captivated by the way the rows of glowing neon signs reflected in the puddles, and you smiled.

Everything was as it should be.

Sandwiched between your two best friends in the back of the Uber, you couldn’t help but feel a rush of pride at the thought that you’d made it. You’d graduated college, managed to land your dream job, and, most recently, you’d finally been able to get yourself a spacious apartment in the city you loved most. It was the first time in your life that you’d ever felt truly in control of things.

Tonight was a celebration of those accomplishments; you and your friends had arranged to go to the bars by your new apartment that night and get shitfaced like you were college freshmen again, just enjoying each other’s company. You could already feel the warmth of the shots of Fireball you’d pregamed with earlier that night, cheeks flushed and rosy. Life was good.

The Uber screeched to a halt in front of the bar, your friends’ resulting drunken squeals drowning out the rap song that drifted loudly through the speakers. You grinned, waving a quick goodbye to the bored-looking driver before dispensing onto the street with your group, one by one.

Through the glass windows, you saw a lively scene; it seemed as though you’d chosen the perfect night to go out. The bar was dim, lit with overhead lights that shifted from color to color, a band stationed at the stage in full action. People danced, drank, sang; you could see couples making out sloppily in booths. This was going to be a fun night.

Outside the bar stood two skinny boys, dressed casually in ripped jeans and band t-shirts, who you were nearly certain were underage. They chatted as they smoked cigarettes, seemingly unfazed by the chilly breeze and light drizzle coming down over their mops of overgrown hair. One of them, the lighter-haired one of the pair, almost reminded you of…

“Hey ladies,” said one, blowing cigarette smoke from the corner of his mouth with a smirk. You could feel his alcohol-glossed eyes travel up and down your body, drinking in your fishnet-clad legs and prominent curves, accentuated in a maroon leather miniskirt. “You trying to have some fun?”

At this, you and your friends erupted into giggles, long fingernails gripping at each other’s forearms as you fought to balance yourselves.

“Isn’t it past your bedtime?” your friend said, resulting in a fresh wave of laughter.

Ignoring the boys’ scowls, you continued inside, sighing in relief at the warmth, which was only reinstated by the slew of sweaty bodies flowing throughout the building. The music was loud- perhaps not the most accurate in terms of pitch, but it was certainly good enough to dance to, and, luckily, you were in a dancing mood.

“You shoulda gave them your number,” your friend joked as you made your way to the bar, her voice raised so you could hear her above the noise. “When’s the last time you’ve gotten laid?”

You rolled your eyes. Ever since you’d broken up with your ex a year before, your friends had been nagging you to engage in causal hookups to help you get over him- they’d tried setting you up with any single man they could get their hands on, and had even gone as far as creating a Tinder page in your name. In all honesty, you had no interest in men at the moment; you were far more focused on your career, which was your top priority for now. Sure, you got horny sometimes, but wasn’t that what vibrators were made for? You were twenty-two. You had your whole life ahead of you to find some good dick.

Besides, most men you’d been with in the past could hardly satisfy you, so it seemed almost better to do things on your own. The only man you’d ever actually enjoyed being with was…

You flinched, pained by your second reminder of a certain blond-haired fuckboy that night. Even now, nearly five years since the last time you’d seen him, it hurt to think of his name.

“Three Sex on the Beaches, please,” your friend said to the bartender, before turning back to look at you. “Sounds like something you’re in need of.”

“Shut up,” you mumbled, drumming your fingers on the wooden surface as you turned to watch the band, which seemed to be some kind of punk-pop-rock hybrid, the members decked in leather and chains.

“You know I’m right,” your friend shouted, running her manicured fingernails through her hair as she craned her neck to look at the bartender over her shoulder. “Hey, the bartender’s pretty cute. And he even kind of seems like your type.”

You glanced back disinterestedly, hardly breaking your attention from the band to look at the man in question. Right now his back was to you, and he appeared to be talking to some drunk girls as he fixed your drinks; his blond hair was slightly outgrown, fraying out in unkempt curls at the base of his neck, toned bicep flexing under the thin shield of his form-fitting white t-shirt as he reached for a bottle of peach schnapps.

From what you could see, he did seem like your type- almost too much so, it almost starting to creep you out how similar this guy looked to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. You looked away.

“Oh yeah, he is cute,” your other friend said, leaning her elbows back on the bar. “(Y/n), you should pull some moves on him.”

You groaned. “Why are you guys so obsessed with getting me fucked?”

“Because, (y/n). You’re gonna get cobwebs down there if you don’t get your shit clapped soon. Eventually you’re just gonna forget how to fuck altogether,” your friend said, her voice earnest.

“Yeah,” agreed your other friend. “Your vag is gonna close up like a pierced ear when you forget to put in earrings for too long.”

“Three sex on the beaches?” came an amused-sounding voice from behind you, and within the first few syllables of the man’s sentence, you could feel your throat start to close up. You knew that voice anywhere, raspy and rich and warm, even five years since you’d last heard it. But… how? Michael was in California. It had to be some kind of doppleganger working behind the bar. But damn, that was uncanny…

You were almost afraid to turn around, doing so reluctantly, too nervous to care about the fact that you were gnawing all your vampy lipstick off your bottom lip.

“Yeah, that’s ours,” said your friend brightly, accepting her glass, and you decided to rip the band-aid off, forcing your body to turn all the way around.

“So you ladies like sex on the be- (Y/N)?”

Holy ever loving mother of christ. It was him. It was actually. Fucking. Him.

There behind the bar, with plump lips agape and saucer-wide baby-blue eyes, was Michael Langdon, looking almost exactly the same as you remembered. Now, though, most of the baby fat had gone from his face, with one silver earring dangling from his left ear and stubble shadowing his even-more-defined (if that was even possible) jawline. Your mouth went dry, opening and closing as you racked your brain for something to say, heart racing so quickly in your chest you thought you might drop dead at any moment.

“You guys know each other?” your friend asked after several seconds of silence, stretching past you to exchange a glance with your other friend, an immaculately-drawn eyebrow poised in concern.

“Uh- yeah. We, um. Michael, why are you here?” The words didn’t come out exactly the way you’d planned for them to, but his presence had you tongue-tied. In a matter of seconds, you felt like you were eighteen again, broken-hearted and in love and overflowing with red-hot hormones all at once.

“I- (y/n), why are you here?” You could tell that Michael’s lips were beginning to creep into a smirk, and your stomach dipped.

“I just moved to the city,” you said, gripping the edge of the bar and breathing slowly to try and calm yourself. You’d fantasized about finding yourself in this very situation so many sleepless nights before (not that you’d ever admit it), but never had you really expected for something like this to happen. This had to be some sort of profound universe-aligning moment of fate or something, because this was all way too fucking weird to be a coincidence. “I got a job near here. I thought you were in California?”

Michael shook his head with a shrug, sliding your drink across the bar towards you as your friends watched on with quiet fascination. “Haven’t lived there since- damn, has it been three years now? Yeah, I kind of dropped out of college.”

Not really surprising, you thought, relaxing a bit as you lifted your drink to your lips. Michael never had really struck you as a college type.

“So how’d you end up here?” you asked through a wince. The taste of vodka was strong on your tongue even despite the compensating ingredients of your drink, and you still hadn’t managed to get used to the taste of hard liquor even after four years of college.

“Well, I ended up meeting this girl at a party and we became like, boyfriend and girlfriend or whatever,” he said with a half eye-roll, as if he was too cool to admit to something as sensitive as being in a relationship. “But she was in college and I was like, in a band, which didn’t really end up working out, and then she graduated and got a job offer here in the city.”

You licked your lips, picturing Michael as the front man of a rock band, pushing sweaty strands of blond hair back from his forehead as he gripped a microphone with one calloused hand. If only he’d had the talent to match with the look.

“So I was still living with my mom and I needed an excuse to move out, so… I moved with her.” He gave a nonchalant shrug, shirt pulling up slightly at the hem and exposing a sliver of his smooth, firm torso; you were almost ashamed that your mouth began to water.

You tried to ignore the inkling of- jealousy, was it? No, not jealousy, that word was far too harsh for what you were feeling- surrounding the idea that Michael had moved here for a girl, and you went to wash it away with another sip of alcohol. It’d been years. You needed to get over yourself.

“So you live with her now?” you asked coolly, or as coolly as you could manage, looking down into the muddy-organgey abyss of your Sex on the Beach. Your friends, having apparently picked up on the fact that you were in the middle of a very important conversation with a very important person, had taken it upon themselves to join the small crowd surrounding the stage, leaving the two of you alone.

“Fuck no. She ended up fucking my best friend. But I already had this job and I liked the scenery so I stuck around. Wasn’t like there was anything better waiting for me in California.”

You quirked an eyebrow. “Now you know how I felt when you fucked (b/f/n).”

“Oh come on, give me a break. I was eighteen. And she had great tits.” He was leaning forward on his elbow now, resting his chin in the palm of his hand and grinning at you. “Admit it. You were just mad ‘cause you wanted to be the one to get the pipe.”

You snorted, trying not to think too deep into the warm, fuzzy feeling that was starting to flourish in the pit of your stomach and travel up towards your fluttering heart. “Oh, please. I used to fucking hate you.”

“Yeah, but you definitely didn’t hate fucking me,” he said with a wink, pink tongue darting out to wet his full bottom lip. “Though I definitely don’t blame you. I was a huge fuckboy.”

“Was?” you joked, taking another sip. Your eyes fell to a small tattoo on his inner forearm- a simple four-leafed clover, which you secretly thought looked sexy on him.

“Still got that smart mouth, I see,” Michael said, pale eyes glinting with a familiar mischievousness that you hadn’t realized you’d missed until right then. “There must be a lucky guy on the receiving end of all that attitude.”

“Nope,” you said flatly, flipping your hair over your shoulder and leaning forward, perhaps subconsciously hoping for your cleavage to become a bit more pronounced. “Men bore me these days.”

“Men? Or just all men who aren’t me?” He flashed you a devious sideways grin, and your mouth fell open at his boldness. “You’re looking pretty good tonight, baby sis.”

“Hmm. I don’t think that title is quite accurate anymore,” you retorted, hoping he couldn’t tell how flustered his usage of the old pet name had gotten you- apparently he still had that particular talent intact. “But you don’t look so bad yourself.”

“Yeah?” He glanced down at his shirt, which you only just now noticed was stained with some kind of brown liquor. “Not exactly the kind of thing you’d want to be wearing when running into your first love.”

Your heart stirred in your chest, and you could see Michael’s cool smile fade into a panicked wince. First love. You were Michael’s first love.

“First love, huh?” you said softly, tilting your head to one side to regard all of Michael’s handsome features at once. There’d always been some semblance of hope, deep in your belly, that Michael’s feelings for you all those years ago had surpassed simple lust and teenage hormones, but you’d of course had your doubts.

“Well, I mean. Not love, but like. You know.” Michael lifted one hand to scratch the back of his neck, and you could almost swear you saw a dusting of pink cross his porcelain cheeks. “Actually, I mean, yeah. You kind of were my first love. Kinda fucked up that my first love was my stepsister, but…”

“Well, you were my first love too. Unfortunately. You put me through hell, you know that?” You were only half-joking, idly twirling a strand of (h/c) hair around your finger, shifting your weight onto one leg to jut out your hip.

“God, yeah. I know. I suck.” He shook his head, loose waves falling to obscure his hooded eyes, and quickly he tucked it back behind his ears. “I really am sorry, you know.”

You shrugged. “We were just stupid, horny teenagers. It’s all good.”

“Yeah, I mean, but I never really stopped feeling guilty about the way I treated you. You gave me so many chances that I never deserved,” he said, leaning in close so he didn’t have to scream for you to hear him. “You were the perfect girl for me and I took you for granted.”

“Well, like I said…” you paused to take a swig of your drink, nursing your light intoxication, which had affected you to the point where the flavor of alcohol no longer made you cringe. “We were stupid teenagers. And I was very stupid to keep taking you back. Especially after that god awful Applebee’s date.”

He laughed, and your insides warmed at the sound, a light giggle that you only ever reserved for crushes unintentionally passing your lips. Why did this all feel so right?

“Look, I was broke, okay?” He moved in a little closer, crystal blue eyes locked with yours, and for a fleeting moment you thought- or, rather, hoped- that maybe he’d kiss you. Of course, you knew that such a prospect was only wishful thinking, but still you felt a sting of disappointment when he didn’t.  “But I can promise you that if I took you out now, it wouldn’t be to Applebee’s.”

You took a second to respond, your clouded mind trying to figure whether or not that’d just been a proposition of sorts. Fuck it. “You might just have to prove that to me.”

“Oh yeah?” He smiled, this time a little softer than his usual devilish smirk. “A girl like you really wants some loser bartender to take her out?”

You cocked your head. “A girl like me?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, look at you.” He sighed, dragging his gaze up and down your body, which you had to admit looked pretty bangin’ in the outfit you’d chosen for tonight. “I mean, it goes without saying that you’re a fuckin’ ten. But you’re also smart. And successful.”

“How do you know I’m successful?” There was a tiny part of you that was eating this up, having the once-big-and-bad Michael Langdon practically crawl at your feet. “I never even told you what I do for a living.”

“I just assumed, since you said you just moved here, and we both know this city ain’t cheap. But I always knew you’d be successful. I mean, you’ve always known how to go after what you want.” he said. “Plus that outfit looks expensive as hell.”

At this, you struck a dramatic pose, having drank enough that you didn’t really care about making yourself look stupid. “Well, I wouldn’t say it was expensive as hell, but it definitely was worth a few paychecks.”

Michael clicked his tongue but chuckled, a longing expression apparent on his sculpted face. “You’re out of my league.”

You scoffed, slurping up the last of your drink. “I don’t believe in leagues. I mean, I pulled you when we were in high school, didn’t I?”

“You were out of my league then, too.”

“Oh, please.” Such a statement was enough to make you laugh out loud, perhaps a bit too loudly, but you thought that might’ve been propelled by the fact that you were pretty damn drunk now. You shoved the now-empty glass towards Michael, settling your hands on your hips. “You were like, the hottest guy in school.”

He raised a brow, a cocky half-smile stretching across his lips. “Oh yeah?”

You hiccuped (you always had been a lightweight). “Duh.”

He rolled his eyes good-naturedly, picking up your glass and bringing it off to the side to be cleaned. When he returned, he was brandishing a bottle of Windex and a stained washcloth, which was draped effortlessly over one broad shoulder. For a reason that could not, for the life of you, be explained, this view of Michael compelled you to squeeze your thighs together.

“You know,” said Michael slowly, spraying the wooden surface of the bar with chemical blue, “it’s kind of creeping me out how weird this all is. Like, us both ending up here. After five years.”

“I know, right?” Your eyes fell onto Michael’s veined hand, gripping the cloth that was now being used to rub down the bar, and you fought back the sudden urge to run your fingers over it. “I mean, it’s like, everything is aligning so perfectly. It has to mean something, doesn’t it?”

“Didn’t we say that to each other? That night on the beach right before our parents split? That if things were meant to work out, they would one day.” He sucked his lips into his mouth, taking in a sharp inhale and letting his head fall back towards the ceiling.

“It’s like everything’s finally fallen into place.” You breathed, allowing the amalgamated scent of liquor and cigarettes and cleaning chemicals to consume you, hips swaying back and forth to the mellow cover song the band was playing, imperfect but beautiful. “We’d be stupid not to try things again.”

“We would, wouldn’t we?” Michael said, tossing the rag off to the side once he’d finished his cleaning, the surface of the bar now so shiny you could practically see your reflection in it. “I promise this time, if you really want to give me a second chance, I won’t fuck things up. I’ll treat you how you should’ve always been treated.”

There was something about the look in his eyes that made you believe him.

From the crowd by the stage came a chorus of voices, most off-key, as they began to sing along to the band’s cover song, which you were certain you’d heard before, but couldn’t quite place when.

And all that is now

“Hey, I love this song,” Michael said suddenly, as if it hadn’t just been playing for the last several minutes, “fuck, this brings me back to high school.”

You wondered if he still chewed cinnamon gum, remembering the sweet spicy scent of his hot breath on your throat, late at night in the back of his cluttered sports car, the dashboard lights illuminating your half-dressed bodies. You wondered if he still played video games with those ridiculous oversize headphones, if he still liked to take midday naps, if he still fell asleep to South Park reruns.

Most of all, though, you wondered about the things you’d never witnessed, all the things you’d missed over the past five years.

And all that is gone

“Do you still chew cinnamon gum?” you asked abruptly, too drunk to worry about whether or not such a question was weird to ask.

He wiggled his eyebrows, reaching into the back pocket of his torn black skinny jeans (god, he’d always looked so good in those) to retrieve a crushed pack of gum, CINNAMON printed in red lettering across the front.

“Hell yeah,” he said, pulling out a piece and tossing it to you. “That shit beats mint by far.”

You unwrapped the gum and popped it in your mouth, immediately flooded with memories the moment you began working into it with your back teeth.

And all that’s to come

He reached out to flip the foil wrapper over, smoothing out its creases before grabbing a black pen from next to the register. You watched through your dreamlike haze as he jotted down a series of numbers in crooked, loopy handwriting, his tongue poking from the corner of his mouth in concentration. Underneath the phone number he wrote something else, in bold capitals, turning the paper around and sliding it towards you with a wry grin.

666-425-0493

LET’S TRY THIS AGAIN

You took the paper, folding it up and shoving it deep into your skirt pocket, inadvertently sinking your teeth into your lower lip. “Maybe I’ll call you sometime, big bro.”

For a fraction of a second, he landed a glance on your chest, lips twitching upwards just slightly at the corners. “Oh, I’ll be posted up until you do.”

“How about another Sex on the Beach?” you said, even though you were drunk enough on Michael’s presence as it was; it felt like you were floating in the blackness of outer space all while rolling with the soft, turning waves of the ocean, and you couldn’t help but want to feel this way forever.

And everything under the sun is in tune

“Coming right up, ma’am,” came Michael’s teasing reply, making you squirm; your eyes fell shut as you allowed the band’s blaring drum and bass to swallow you whole, swaying aimlessly to the rhythm, your head lolling back and forth.

The music was loud enough to drown out your thoughts, and the sound only increased as the song came to its powerful end, your teeth chattering with adrenaline as an electric chill made its way up your spine.

But the sun is eclipsed by the moon

When you opened your eyes, Michael was back in front of you, and all but the colorful overhead lights had dimmed; the entire bar was potent with color, Michael’s angular features appearing so much softer now, cast with bright purple, then blue, then a shade of pink so vivid it looked almost otherworldly.

Your eyes connected with his for what must’ve been the thousandth time in all the months you’d known him, but you felt, deep in your bones, that this was really only the first.

You had a good feeling about this.

#michael langdon #michael langdon x reader #michael langdon smut #cody fern #american horror stoy #ahs apocalypse #apocalypse #high school au #ahs smut #ahs fanfic #michael langdon fanfiction #michael langdon fanfic #ahs fanfiction #mine

[hisakata-resutomoshibi]

Not to bother you, but I've been wondering what would happen next in that Inner Demon! Kuro au. It randomly popped into my head and now im curious lol. I'm not asking for another chapter if you dont want to write it, I just wanna know what u think would happen next! Your ideas are amazing and I love hearing from you! 🧡

Ah, you’re so sweet! Don’t take this too seriously as I haven’t planned any of it and barely edited it LOL but here you go my dear~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alright, and what am I supposed to make of that?"

It was hours later, or perhaps just minutes, and Mahiru found himself staring up at the slightly damp, bug riddled ceiling of the cave. He seemed to have fallen to the ground after Kuro had released his grip; maybe he had taken too much blood? The thought froze his muscles in visceral terror and his mind in a bid to remain sane immediately rejected the idea. Either way, he did distinctly remember hearing Kuro say that he belonged to Mahiru now, or something to that effect, and really, who wanted to have a psycho like this?

"What does what means?"

 Kuro's eyes popped in to view over Mahiru's face and he flinched back, bashing his head further on the cold stone. Frowning in irritation, at the pain in his skull, the situation in general, he sighed. "What do you mean you're mine?"

 The bright red that had flooded through Kuro's irises hadn't faded, in fact it seemed to have almost solidified against the former blue, looking like a small pool of swirling metallic paint splashed across the sky. As he watched, entranced, Kuro grinned.

 "Pretty, right?" He blinked slowly, demonstratively. "The red is a nice touch, a very easy way to identify contracts."

 "Contracts?" Mahiru repeated curiously. "What- no, I mean, how did your eyes change color?"

 "This is your blood, Mahiru." Kuro said matter-of-factly. "I didn't expect it to be so beautiful, to be honest. Most blood mixes in like mud. Such a disappointing shade of brown. But this!" Kuro paused, fluttering a hand in front of his face.

"This is gorgeous. We must be compatible."

 "Compatible..." Mahiru echoed, laughing weakly. "Great."

 "You wanted to go home. I'll take you there."

 "Hold on just a second." He pushed out a hand into the scant air between them and Kuro obligingly sat back, his head cocked in innocent puzzlement. "How do you know where I live?"

 "I know everything that is YOU, now."

 "Again, what exactly does that mean?"

 Kuro smiled wickedly, leaning forward suddenly, a blur of vitality in the dank air of the cave. "Take it literally. Anything that means something to you, makes up a part of your identity, it's mine now. And in exchange-" He gestured down at himself, "you get this, anything you could possibly want."

 Startled into silence, Mahiru felt his tongue form the sardonic comment before he could think better of it. "You're quite confident." As soon as the words were out he regretted them, praying that the offense they caused wouldn't be enough to get him ripped into little pieces, but Kuro only laughed, lighter and softer than anything Mahiru had heard before.

 "Of course I'm confident. Do you still not know who I am, Mahiru?" His lips curled up mischievously and he ran a graceful, delicate finger, along Mahiru's jaw. "You're a bit thick, aren't you? Ah well, no matter! You're mine as well now, no turning back." Before Mahiru had the chance to feel offended, he continued. "I knew you were special the second I saw you."

 The conversation was running in circles and it was only a matter of time before Mahiru got motion sickness trying to follow it, so, trying to decide the simplest course of action, he chose, simply, to ignore it. Obviously Kuro was not who he had originally thought, the eyes, the horns, the preternatural speed, no, there was no way to fake that, he was something else entirely, but the question was, what? Mahiru glanced over to find Kuro staring at him raptly and he couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped. "Where am I supposed to hide you?"

"Is this just something that people like you can do?" Mahiru asked flatly, staring down at the tiny kitten at his feet. It turned it's wide, luminescent eyes (red like his blood, he thought) up to him and blinked. "I don't know what that means."

 "You really are a demanding little one." Kuro muttered as he phased back into existence, occupying the space the cat had previously. "Of course not all of us can, it is something unique to I and a few others." He paused, seeming to think carefully before speaking. "Eight total."

 There are seven others that can turn into animals?"

 Kuro nodded slowly, almost regretfully. "Yes. Seven. But you don't need to worry about them."

 "I'm not particularly worried." Mahiru sighed. "More like amazed." He watched for a moment as Kuro crept around his room, so cat like in his movements Mahiru almost laughed, and began to poke at several of the books piled haphazardly on his desk. "I do have a question."

 As though he had been in anticipation, Kuro spun on his heel, books and exploration forgotten and a lopsided smile in place. "Yes?"

 "Well, er-" Mahiru hesitated, biting his lip. "Not to be offensive or anything but, you're acting very... different now."

 "Oh?"

 "Uh, yeah..."

 "How so?"

 "Well." Mahiru glanced over, quickly looking away again when he met Kuro's amused gaze. "Well, to be blunt, you're not acting like a total nut job anymore."

 "A nut job." Kuro paused, digesting the phrase for a moment. "I do not know that one either." Four rapid steps had him directly in front of Mahiru again and he grinned. "There's so much you must tell me! But before that, what is the question?"

 "Why?" Mahiu blurted. "Why are you suddenly..." He trailed off and, at a loss for definition, gestured vaguely at Kuro. "Like this?"

 Shrugging casually, Kuro raised a brow. "One would act differently after becoming someone else, no?"

 Putting a finger to his brow in fatigued annoyance, Mahiru groaned. "No w I just know you're fucking with me."

 "Not yet, I assure you." Kuro said brightly, his grin widening impossibly when Mahiru blanched. "What can I say to make you understand?" He crossed his arms, gaze traveling lazily around the room. When his eyes lit upon the chair near the door and he paused. "I took from you and so you must take from me." He glanced over, his eyes shining through the shifting blacks and whites of his hair. "Give and take, tit for tat, you are a part of me and so I must honor that change. Act according to the new blood."

 Mahiru frowned, attempting to construct something realistic or even vaguely understandable from what Kuro had just said. "So, you're different because of me?"

 "Precisely. Perhaps if you were less stubborn I would not be quite so composed?" Kuro laughed, just a shadow of the maniacal, wild abandon from previously and shrugged. "It's an interesting change." He raised his eyes to the ceiling, as though looking up into the sky. "Not unwelcome. Certainly different from what I am used to."

 "What you're used to?" Mahiru prompted him after a moment.

 "Things at the court can be unbalanced." Kuro said slowly. "And so for the most part we are... unpredictable."

 Forgoing asking who exactly "we" was because he was fairly certain he didn't want to know anyway, Mahiru frowned darkly, remembering the shattered stalls and engulfing flames he had so barely escaped earlier."You seemed like a psycho."

 Kuro laughed happily. "That sounds like a compliment!"

 "It's not." Mahiru said flatly. "Psycho is bad." He too glanced around the small room quickly, taking in the limited space and lack of guest furniture. "So now what? I accept that you are some kind of- of- mythical creature. But I do not accept that I am stuck with you."

 "Whether you accept or not is of no consequence." Kuro sang, reaching out and plucking a sweater from where it lay draped over the foot of the bed. "We have a contract." He began to twist it back and forth, inspecting it from every angle, eyes wide in puzzlement.

 "About that. I didn't agree to any contract. So I don't really think it's legally binding." Mahiru crossed his arms, attempting his best impersonation of authority.

 Kuro shrugged, pulling the sweater over his head, horns turning to a bright translucent fog for a moment to allow for the collar to pass over them, and smiled, something quick and genuine, and Mahiru felt his heart skip a beat. "Unfortunate for you then that the fae do not care for legality."

It was an hour later, Mahiru standing in front of the cupboard contemplating it's bare shelving, that he finally admitted to himself that he was not the best at entertaining visitors. Not even a spare loaf of bread. He slammed the door shut in frustration and glanced into the living room, finding Kuri still curled up on the couch, eyes glued to the TV. Mahiru had turned it on in desperation about forty minutes ago and Kuro had not moved since. It was currently airing some strange episodic gum commercial but judging by Kuro's expression you would have thought it was a documentary of the end of the world.

 "How do they do this?" Kuro asked suddenly and Mahiru turned fully, watching as he pointed to the screen upon which was a helicopter view of the city.

 "Do what?"

 "Record this? Is that what you called it? It's so detailed!"

 Mahiru wandered closer, unable to ignore the impulse and peered over Kuro's shoulder. "You said you were some magical being but you've never seen a TV? Where have you been all this time?"

 "In the woods, mostly." Kuro answered casually. "It seems I should have ventured farther into town sooner!"

 Briefly imagining the utter devastation Kuro would have wrought unchecked had he indeed entered the heart of the town Mahiru held back a shiver and shook his head. "No. No way. You are way too much trouble."

 "It is not I that wishes for such destruction." Kuro said, flicking his sharp gaze up to Mahiru. "I only embody what you desire."

 "You keep saying that." Mahiru muttered, looking away in discomfort. "Listen. Do you need food? Or..." He trailed off in embarrassment, completely gobsmacked that the next words were about to leave his mouth. "Or are you actually a vampire?"

 "Vampire." Kuro rolled the word around for a moment and shrugged. "Call me what you will. You humans have always had such curious need to name everything. Regardless, it will not change that I simply am."

 Mahiru sighed. He really was getting so tired of all this mystical bullshit. "So then, did you want to get dinner?"

 Kuro froze, his shoulders going taut beneath the blanket he had huddled up in. "Dinner?" His eyes were darting from side to side as though in worry, though there was nothing but an innocuous soap opera preview on.

 "Yeah? You know, we go somewhere and get food? I honestly hate the idea of bringing you in public, but I don't have anything here." Mahiru admitted, frowning. "You have to behave."

 "Ah, I see." Kuro turned, fixing Mahiru with a strange look. "You need to eat then?"

 "I take it, based on this conversation that you don't actually require food." Mahiru muttered sarcastically. "But yes, I'm hungry."

 "Very well. Let's go." Kuro stood in one quick move, the blanket falling from his shoulders and to the couch and Mahiru flinched back a step, having completely forgotten just how tall Kuro really was. At his jerking retreat, Kuro raised a brow and a mocking smile flew across his face. "Do you truly find me so frightening?"

 An immediate affirmation withered on Mahiru's tongue as he studied Kuro's expression. It was neutral and empty but somewhere, deep beneath the veneer of indifference, he thought he could see a wiggling of disappointment. He didn't know what possessed him to do what he did, or even why he would care to do so in the first place but he found himself snorting and reaching out to wrap his hand around Kuro's wrist, tugging him roughly around the back of the couch and towards the kitchen. "Of course not, idiot. What's scary about you?"

#servamp #asks #blackcat!Kuro #my writing #should I add the tag #fae!Kuro #? #ever since Kat said I can't get it out of my head #as evidenced here LOL #Mahiru Shirota #hmmm

[snakuchan]

about me tag 

aye listen up @13-scoups, yoongi needs to make way because my heart...you own it asdfghj thank you for tagging me again :”))

The rules are:

Tag the person who tagged you. 

Answer the questions.

Tag 10 people.

How tall are you?

5 feet and 3 quarters. I’m the runt of the group, those 3 quarters mean the world to me 

What color and style is your hair?

Medium brown with blonde highlights and copper tones. Since it’s getting hotter and I’ve already spent some time in the pool, she’s getting lighter uwu. I have my hair in an A-line bob but it’s been a few months and the shortest ends are past my shoulders already :^( I’m planning on getting a simple bob right above my shoulders cause i dont wanna grow my hair out just yet 

What color are your eyes?

Light brown? Hazel? Tbh it depends on light. I’ve worn grey contacts that straight up make my eyes look a bit blue and people think yeah those are your eyes

Do you wear glasses?

Yeet, I’m blind :^(

Do you wear braces? 

I had to suffer with them for 3 years from 8th to 10th grade and im never going back idc if those bitches are getting crooked again 

What is your fashion style?

Feminine? I only wear dresses and long skirts uwu. Miss me with them skinny jeans in this Miami weather bro 

Full name?

Cynthia~

When were you born?

December 11, 1999 (love making fun of my 2000 people even tho i am in spirit a 2000 child)

Where are you from and where do you live now?

I’ve lived in Hialeah my whole life and plan on dying here fam 

What school do you go to? 

Uwuu let’s not go to into too much detail ;) My uni’s a pretty popular school and it’s essentially every Florida student’s safety net if they can’t make it into the more competitive unis. There’s like 60k students parking’s a bitch pls help :)

What kind of student are you? 

Uh the quiet type maybe. I’d rather not do teamwork and I just mind my business. Really I’m more of a get in get out type of student, I refuse to stay on campus for longer than necessary. I either get As or Cs because I sort of prioritize which classes are more important so I guess I still have hs mentality where I ignore the “elective” type classes. Need to work on that oof 

Do you like school? 

Sometimes. I actually took the most recent semester off (which ended like last week) because anxiety :))) My body was just not handling it well. The times I do like a school are honestly when I feel like I could get a moment of peace and quiet on campus but that’s not often 

Favorite subject? 

Any science subject really but probably more chemistry (I’m majoring in biochemistry)

Favorite TV show? 

You mean favorite netflix series? asdfgh no it’s probably Buffy the Vampire Slayer pls never let this masterpiece die off

Favorite movie? 

I love so many movies so I could never really pick but let’s just go with The Fifth Element cause why not. I have weird nostalgia for it and idky 

Favorite books? 

I haven’t read in the longest time what a shame :(( but Esperanza Rising and Tennyson are my absolute childhood faves. Also Strange Sweet Song idk it just hits me in a way. You could say I’m still a whore for teen fiction. Oh shit that’s right The Night Circus is fucking *chef’s kiss* delicioso 

Favorite pastime? 

Coloring in those therapeutic coloring books, bingewatching anything and everything, yelling at my dumbass friends on Telegram, and doing laundry. I actually like doing chores now holy shit

Do you have any regrets?

I feel like I could have worked harder in high school, especially with some of my AP classes (I could’ve fucking passed my calculus exam if i just hnng :)) and I also could’ve enjoyed myself a bit more as a teen cause now I just feel burned out. Interesting these contradictions 

Dream job?

A physician. What field? We’ll see

Would you like to get married?

YEET 

Would you like to have kids?

I would love to have kids but I’m afraid of being a bad mother simply because I feel I have no motherly bone in my body I’m just sdfgh :’((

How many?

1, just one kiddo is enough 

Do you like shopping?

I rarely do, I honestly get really exhausted so I only go when I really want new clothes and have the money for it 

What countries have you visited? 

Besides visiting family in Cuba, none :^( and honestly Cuba isn’t a real vacation cause dealing with some of my relatives is a chore. Ask any Cuban-American really 

Scariest nightmare you’ve ever had?

OOF I’ve had lots but here’s one from when I was 15. It’s basically my high school, all dilapidated and whatnot. I’m scrambling around trying to get to class when I reach the third floor of the main building and walk into the main hallway to see my principal, nude and morbidly obese with chains in his hands leading to a dozen naked and anorexic women with black button eyes (Coraline?) and like a mouse’s head? The women were scrubbing the floors and walls until their hands and knees bled. It’s all I remember but it’s stuck with me all these years and every time I think about it I get a bit nauseated 

Any enemies?

Probably not. I really don’t care about anyone around me besides the people I befriend. I’m probably an enemy to someone but I wouldn’t know. When I tell y’all ignorance is bliss 

Any significant others?

Been single my whole life :)

Do you believe in miracles?

Hmm I am religious so I’d say yes 

How are you?

Well, my sunburn’s healing fantastically thank fuck can’t say ass about the scrape on my knee tho. About to shower and eat dinner :)

Tagging @mycandylover0822, @ilovewonu, @girlwithluvs lol i need friends *twitch* Why the fuck do I write so much?? Hopefully this has been a wild ride for u fucks ily all 

#if u guys read this in its entirety u own my ass #uhm why in the fuck is it thundering so much ok

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

how to keep yourself together during uni semesters in australia:

im not gonna lie: over the past 3 years at uni, i have never kept myself together. so, im probably not the right type of person to give anyone advice on how to keep yourself “together” at uni lmao. but i felt like doing it, since im close to finishing so here you go, people:

class/subject and degree advice:

- if you’re not doing a double degree (which will probably give you four or five subjects to do each sem, and a full 4-5 days at uni each week, like some of my friends), stay home on your days off. take those days both to relax, and also fill yourself in to do some of your readings (although i’ll admit i only started the “doing my readings” thing this semester after two years of ignoring them, lol whoops.) this will help your stress levels a bit (hopefully) bc at least you know what the fuck you’re talking about in class and can actually say something during your tuts/lectures.

- if you’re doing a single degree or even a double degree (again i know some people who’ve done it with double degrees), and your full load of 4 or maybe 5 subjects is stressing you the fuck out, drop down to three units per a semester, if you want to actually keep a full load for certain things. yes, it will make your degree go slower in most cases, but not as slow as going part time. it will obvs make your load a tad lighter (if you’re a full-time student), and it’ll free up your days spent at uni. it will give you fewer deadlines to worry/stress about. 

on another note, go part time if you want to/have to. i met one person at a careers fair this year who’d been at uni for five years doing her commerce degree with just one subject a semester bc it gave her less stress and plenty of time to actually work at her job.

- go to your faculty’s/school’s help desk to find out whether your course progression is right. also book meetings with the head of your faculty whenever you can; according to the head of the students bookings are open or wherever possible in your timetable. doing this lets you know whether you’re progressing with your course in the right time-frame, or right time-frame for you. remember, these people are there to help you. this saved me hours of worrying throughout my degree. 

- TRANSFER DEGREES IF YOU HAVE TO: if you feel out of your depth, or completely disinterested in your degree, transfer from it. in some cases (mostly if you’re in the same faculty and the degree is a flexible/general one) you can easily get the first year subjects in transfer credit. this is what i did in first year, when i realised that i felt very out my depth, personality-wise and for other reasons, in the bachelor of communication and media studies in 2015. i knew, after one semester of it, that it was not what i wanted to study.

I realised that forcing myself through marketing and management subjects and studying blogging at uni just bc i had a tumblr- yes, that was my kind of ridiculous and super misguided reason for picking the course, believe it or not- would “kill” me, (like obvs not literally) but it would drain tf out of me if i continued w/ it. but  luckily, since it was in the same faculty, all i had to do was do an extra subject in spring sem in 2015 (bc degree changes required you to have 24 credit points in a semester to transfer at my uni for most courses), and that sem sucked, but i got a years worth of credit in my degree, so i finish one semester earlier.

- for classes in a single degree, try and find your ideal amount of days at uni. my ideal is three days. i almost had the opportunity to have a two day week at uni this sem, bc the timetable gods were almost good to me. but unfortunately, the timetable gods were assholes and managed to let a two hour tut for one class (editing) on tuesdays ran through my US literature lecture. but i also didn’t really want just 2 days at uni, bc i knew that i probably wouldn’t be fucking productive at all in the 3 remaining days i had off during the week.

- go part-time if you have to, no matter whether you’re on a single or a double degree. do your degree on your own terms.

- don’t listen to your parents spiel on your degree or what majors/minors to do. same goes for running your subject choices by your parents. 

- or if uni is really, really getting you down, you can defer for six months and go back later. (also, for mental health, see a councilor/psychologist either from your uni or outside of uni, i started doing this after a mental breakdown in second year). 

- on feedback from your professors/tutors: okay, so. i’ll admit here that i’ve become the asshole student that literally only gives a shit about the number grade, rather than the quality etc comments that the professor (usually) gives back to me after they’ve marked my assignment, bc i don’t really have the heart to read what they’ve written etc. but, like. actually read their feedback... or listen to it. 

if you have an odd professor that likes to give audio feedback (one of my philosophy profs did this, and no. i didn’t listen to it on either assignment, particularly bc it was my least fave subject that sem and bc i had a drama with the essay that lost me like 20% of my grade for that subject), listen back to it and see what they say on your (presumably, i have faith in y’all) well bullshitted essay. their feedback is valuable. also don’t be afraid to approach your tutors for feedback either.

- on asking for help/advice on your assignments or the subject in general from your profs/tutors: DO THIS. of course, it’ll just be general guidance in their consultation hours or via email, but, don’t be scared to ask them! it might boost your marks a bit or help you clarify your essay’s argument or something like that. i was too terrified for the better part of my degree, and then too stubborn to ask for help from my profs/tutors and i think that’s why my marks and my mental health got kinda shitty. idk how to ask for help. but then again, idk how many people actually do this in the courses i did. but y’all do it.

for the general side of this, they can help you by giving you extensions (if they’re not an asshole) or whatever to help you sort your shit out. this is something i never did. but do it when you need it.

- on the topic of marks, they don’t matter. but don’t try and settle in the “p’s get degrees” mindset... even though i say this whenever i get a final mark and it’s a pass. i aimed for a credit average tbh, marks wise. i’m dead average lmao. but then again, i’ve never been a straight-A student, born to graduate uni with like high class honours or the like.

general uni life and life advice:

- GET YOUR P’S OR BLACKS (i.e. GET YOUR DRIVER’S LICENCE Y’ALL), if your family circumstances permit it or if you’re motivated enough, before you get to uni. it’ll open up so many opportunities on campus (if you don’t live on the campus and you live far away from it). and also other ops outside of uni. (but then again you might not bother driving to uni everyday  bc like uni parking, depending how it is at your uni, will always be a fight for spots.

- although i said earlier to use your days off to do some study... also use them for self-care and like life admin meaning the following:

face masks

actually take a looooonnnnngggg fucking showers y’all. the shower is the one place you’ll actually fully relax while you’re at uni. also it’s a good place to mentally plan and map out your essays etc.

yes, netflix

BUY A KINDLE (if your budget permits ofc). although it was a big cost on the outset obvs (its like $200), it was the best investment for me. i saved a fuck ton of money for some subjects, bc the books were either free or like $20-$30 cheaper on my kindle and not anywhere between $20-$40 for some texts in the uni shop. like, textbooks for english lit/creative writing or even philosophy (sometimes) etc subjects, can amount in costing to $200 or more in total for buying separate texts, just like a single, average business/law/nursing/science textbook.

read books from outside of your prescribed texts, and get totally engrossed in them if you can. i did this in first year with the complete tomorrow, when the war began series and the ellie chronicles (it’s sequel trilogy) by john marsden. and yes, i completely ignored by readings for these books, bc i hated like 90% of my uni texts. but i’ll admit that it made uni a tad more bearable, though.

if you have free days, do not go into uni. use them to catch up on sleep. or do my next point.

apply for jobs. maybe you’ll be lucky to get one and learn how to balance study with work. also it can keep you sane, money wise. something i didn’t get to have during these last 3 and a 1/2 years. but you’ll also get to know how hiring works, in general.

make yourself a fucking study timetable. this will help you get an idea of when you’re set for study. and i know, i know. it’s so hypocritical of me to suggest this bc i never bothered to make one for myself anf instead went with “i’ll study when i feel like it”......... which, um, barely ever happened all throughout uni... until this sem. lol whoops. try and stick to your timetable.

if you can, delete you fucking tumblr. 

COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE! MAKE THIS BEVERAGE YOUR FRIEND.

if your uni has a bar, don’t avoid it. you might make friends there. i was alone at uni for a vast bulk of the time, so i avoided the bar and mostly stayed in the library.... which didn’t give me much time to make friends.

if you make good friends at uni, talk to them often, so that you can coordinate some of your classes/tuts with them and so you can exchange not w/ each other to save time come exams. it’ll also save your ass in some classes where the prof passes around the roll in the lecture and doesn’t really check the attendance

also try and pick subjects that have recorded lectures, those fuckers save your ass come essay writing time etc.

if you’re doing literature/creative writing etc subjects, read some of your prescribed texts in the uni break- in either the november-march break or the june/july break. yeah, it’ll drive you insane bc you’re reading for a class in the holidays, but, fuck. it’s saved my ass a couple of times with books that are anywhere between 200-400 pages long (e.g. wuthering heights, lady chatterly’s lover, the grapes of wrath, any of shakespeare’s plays etc etc) giving me either a lighter reading load bc I’d finished the book during break or I’d left a few pages near the end of the book, but had read the bulk saving me a fuck tonne of reading time during the heavy part of the sem.

AUDIOBOOKS BITCHES. i only started using audiobooks on youtube when doing shakespeare. but damn. they’re amazing if you don’t really want to be engaged in a physical book sometimes, and great for gauging the tone of whats being said/picturing the characters more clearly when doing literature/creative writing subs. i’ve heard several times that they’re particularly good for commuting to and from uni, if you live far away. but sometimes they can be a bit pricey.

buy secondhand textbooks y’all.

DO NOT BUY YOUR TEXTBOOKS IN ADVANCE, in some cases. i did this for a lot of my subjects, and some times one to two of the texts changed each year... or in one case, THE WHOLE FUCKING READING LIST CHANGED. LITERALLY, and i’d spent like $200 buying the books in advance. but also, i got to read some good books by accident. don’t waste your money. but if you can find them cheap (like old editions in other fields obvs, that students are selling, buy them if you hella need the book)

take lunch in to save money on expensive campus food. but on that same note, don’t forget to spoil yourself with some of the nice food on campus every once in while.

also for lit/creative writing subjects, go to your local op shop or thrift shop to find some of the older books and get them for like $2 or 90cents instead of the fucking $15-$30 that your uni will have you sell your soul for.

Feel free to add more!!! and defs for other fields! 

#life #about me #shut up ilona #uni #uni life #ilona tries to give advice

[baronvontribble]

Original drabble, pt. 4

Navigation: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

AW YE LET’S GO

The voice the AI ended up picking in the intervening hours between one day and the next wasn't inherently all that interesting. It was a low, smooth baritone, but beyond that it was relatively nondescript as voices went. The audio quality made it even more bland, with a poor range that didn't have any extra phonemes programmed in for different pitches alongside the standard tinny, echoing sound that came from having been recorded in someone's bedroom on a cheap microphone with no soundproofing.

"That would be the point," the AI told him. "It's impossible to read any kind of voice imprint in sound quality this bad."

As for the tuning, that was another matter entirely.

The perks of letting an AI tune its own voice on the fly instead of having a comparatively simple secondary program do it were obvious to Ted; the AI is made to do much larger calculations, so the slight randomization involved in making a voice sound realistic as opposed to it sounding like a recording had more room for subtlety and nuance. In many commercial and consumer androids, this was glossed over because it wasn't necessary - the vocal capability often being delegated to a secondary program anyway just to save space - but for the ones that had to perform any kind of public service, the subtlety and nuance were a key component of interacting with humanity, right up there with being able to read a room and adjust their body language and express themselves in ways humans could be comfortable with.

Seeing as Ted had a lot of experience with those kinds of androids in his day-to-day life, he wasn't unfamiliar with that ability. But usually those androids were nurses, doctors, secretaries, social workers. Not the ones he usually worked with as part of the pipeline, because taking them out of society was seen as too risky, and the ones that did come through were all too quickly snatched up by the goons overseeing product recalls. They rarely made it all the way to screening.

This time, he hadn't been able to suppress the shiver that went up his spine upon first hearing that kind of tuning coming from a shitty voicebank installed on one of his own home computers. It was an uncanny sort of feeling, a crawl under his skin at how odd it was. He thought he'd gotten over that years ago, but apparently he hadn't. This AI, with his dry vocal delivery and subtle expressiveness, had one of the most human voices Ted had ever heard, while also having one of the most inhuman voices he'd ever heard.

He was having a hard time getting used to it.

"Did you know the labels on the phonemes in this don't actually match up with the sounds they're supposed to make?" the AI continued. "There's a lot I'm just not rendering because the waveforms don't match up. I have it muted so you don't have to hear it, but it gets bad enough that my speech recognition programming doesn't even register that I've made words."

"Sounds frustrating," Ted mused.

"It is. There's also a minor memory leak in the software. The longest I can keep it open is two hours, five minutes, and fifty eight seconds."

"Could install it on the desktop?"

"Then I'd have to deal with the memory leak," the AI said as if it were the most distasteful thing in the world, and Ted snorted. The guy had a point; yeah, the laptop didn't have all that much memory to begin with, but at least it didn't risk the desktop overheating. That laptop was kind of a piece of shit anyway (and Ted never kept anything important on it to begin with so he wouldn't miss it too much if it died) so it wasn't a risk to the AI's personal safety.

Besides, as much as Ted wanted to poke fun at how fussy the AI was, he understood the concept of being fragile. "You'll be alright when I go to work, right?" he had to ask. "Got everything you need?"

"Yes."

"I could download some games for you before I go if you want."

"Why would I want that?"

Ted shrugged his shoulders as he stretched in his chair. "Dunno. Just thought you might be into that kinda thing."

"No. I'm not."

He supposed that did make some sense. An AI that had no way of experiencing things except from the inside of a computer had no use for anything but algorithms and data, and how much of the experience of a game was wrapped up in its graphical user interface and the joy of playing it? Even so, kinda harsh. "Not even for the writing?" he asked, standing up and moving to pull on his coat.

"The objective of any game is completing it with the best possible outcome," came the reply. "Writing has no effect on that."

"What if the writing tells you that what's technically the best possible outcome is something you can only get to by being an asshole?"

"Then it's a bad game that defines its outcomes poorly," the AI said, sounding like he didn't want to continue the conversation. Ted decided not to press it. "I have everything I need. Just come back with a camera and don't die."

Ted had to laugh again at that, fixing the fastenings on his coat and making sure that his phone and keys were in his pockets. "Don't die, huh?"

"Humans are breakable. I saw the weather report, I think I'm justified in having my concerns."

"Aw, you really do care."

"It's self-preservation. I'm dependent on you right now."

Ted was still chuckling about that one even as he left the apartment, the laughter only tapering off after he was well on his way down the stairs. From there, it was only a short walk to the bus, as it was in any sensibly put-together major city, and he made his way to work feeling lighter than he had in a long time.

It wasn't supposed to be easy to talk to an AI. Everyone made it out to be like some chore, where not following a script got you into 'your query falls outside my preprogrammed parameters, would you like to ask another question' territory. And a lot of times, it was. Most people couldn't afford a fancy AI like that for their robots. Android bodies were cheap if you had access to a 3D printer and some decent schematics, but the programming? That was proprietary. Expensive. Sometimes it was so fancy that it took proprietary hardware to even run it, the kinda shit you'd get out of a catalog with the prices of all the bells and whistles tucked away in fine print that was a milimeter high.

That was why it was usually limited to government entities, or big corporations, or other places that could really afford the fancy shit. Someone like Ted? He didn't even have unfettered access to a 3D printer. Best he could get beyond the basics of a good personal computer was one of those minidroids, the 9 inch high ones that were just smart enough to tell you what was in your inbox when you got up to go to work. Even then he'd probably get it secondhand...

He was in the process of sitting down in one of his more usual seats at the back of the bus when his thoughts were interrupted by a buzz from his pocket.

>   I found your messaging handle.

Ted rolled his eyes at the screenname that came up. NotARobot. Christ.

you are the most unsubtle person to ever exist   <

>   It asked if I'm a robot when I was making this account. Technically, I'm not a robot at the moment.

>   At least for a given definition of what the word "robot" means.

>   Did you leave your messenger logged in on your laptop on purpose?

honestly? i forgot   <

it goes into the background process pile when it isnt actively open   <

so thats an easy thing to do   <

>   Why are your messages like that?

like what   <

>   Like that.

im lazy   <

and i turned autocorrect off   <

it bugged me   <

>   Turn it back on then.

nope   <

>   Why.

cause i dont wanna :P   <

>   This is cruel and unusual punishment. It's against the Geneva Conventions to treat me like this.

get used to it   <

besides   <

not like i can break the law any worse   <

>   You're a horrible person.

>   I'm going to reorganize all of your files just for that.

>   All of them.

lol alright   <

gotta go to work now l8r <3   <

>   Don't you send hearts at me.

>   Ted.

>   Why did you send me a heart?

>   Hearts don't even look like that.

>   Stop ignoring me.

>   Fine, I'll ignore you too.

>   Ted, did you die?

>   Please don't die. You're not allowed.

>   I have concerns about this "going to work" thing.

>   For one thing, it's inadvisable for a human to be out in these temperatures for a significant amount of time.

>   You're still ignoring me, aren't you?

at work   <

hard to shelve books n text :P   <

sup?   <

>   How long does this work take?

a while. why   <

gotta get a camera after this 2 remember   <

are you worried about me   <

>   No.

thats adorable   <

>   I am not "adorable" by any definition.

tell u what   <

boot up my ebook app   <

go read everything i have loaded onto it   <

come back to me w/ what u think   <

i wanna see some thoughts on at least one book by lunchtime   <

>   Fine.

aight cool l8r then   <

>   I'm starting with the most recent download. It's called "The Left Hand of Darkness" and I have no idea what that's supposed to mean.

>   That is not how neutral pronouns work.

>   This is bad science.

>   I suppose that's one way of explaining the Fermi Paradox but it's still bad science.

>   Just looked it up. Secondary sexual characteristics do not work that way.

>   Ted.

>   Ted, why did he have to die.

>   That ending was absolutely pointless.

>   Your books are badly written and don't make any sense.

>   Are all of your books like this?

>   I refuse to read any more books until I have confirmation that they're not all like this.

lol   <

>   Don't laugh at me.

keep reading   <

>   That's not an answer.

>   Fine, I'll read another one.

<3?   <

>   You're still a horrible person.

#no one cares andy #original writing #original characters #robot and marshmallow #ted: hey hey read this book #AI: *reads it* I HATE YOU THIS BOOK MADE ME FEEL THINGS AND THAT'S NOT OKAY #ted: lol 8D

[bartsugsy]

Oh Lo. Please teach me your ways. I mean I'm not even overly negative about everything, but how can you always be so excited./see the positives with each new spoiler/quote? I wish I could lol. Cos seriously, IM's definition of 'fun' and mine appear to be vastly different. This mainly boring scheming Robert plpt continues into next year? We're not getting a reunion til 2018 are we? Lord, they really want to test our patience don't they? Have we not paid are dues yet? haha! Who's exit you think?

do you know what anon, it’s weird, but i was actually thinking about what i would say to someone earlier today, if they asked me how i tend to stay positive???? it’s like our brains just know sometimes lmao - but that’s why you’re about to get a weirdly deep answer instead of what i usually say here

and honestly, i was thinking about this because i was thinking about life in general and how much i believe in the power of positive thinking? and how incredibly well it works? in fandom terms particularly, it’s a life saviour - in life it’s can be a lot more of a struggle to remind yourself but yk we’re not getting that deep we’re just talking about a soap

i get that it sounds like bullshit, but it works for me literally every single time. i’ve found that complaining about things is literally giving voice to negative thoughts and giving voice to negative thoughts is giving power so that they can breed more negative thoughts and before you know it, you’re sinking down this weird self-made hole of sadness - and not only that, but it spreads to other people, because humans are like feelings sponges and we feed off other people’s emotions a lot - it’s hard to be the lone person feeling one way in a room of people feeling the other. it’s like subconscious peer pressure.

but then the opposite - looking at the positives, being as steadfast and determined and strict with yourselves to look at the good sides of everything, is fucking life changing. there are like one thousand and one ted talks on this - like, you wouldn’t believe how many damn ted talks there are. anyway, because i was in this weird mood this morning and reflecting on it, i watched one that used a quote from wayne dyer - “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

THIS IS SO EMBARRASINGLY DEEP FOR WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY A CONVERSATION ABOUT FLIPPIN EMMERDALE SPOILERS BUT IT’S TRUE OK 

it’s true. if i look at spoilers andlook for the positives and literally refuse to give voice to the negative, pullmyself back to the positives whenever i do, and beyond that encourage thatpositivity in others through humour or happy thoughts so that maybe it spreads - and if i do it enough times that it becomes natural to me, a natural response to anything and everything, then… well… everything gets a hell of a lot more fun and enjoyable and those things that maybe i once thought were negative and worrying somehow turn into positives. and that’s not me desperately trying to tell myself something is good - it just genuinely does become something that inspires good feelings in me, happiness and excitement and whatever. i can’t really explain how well it works - you have to experience it. but like now? now i literally fucking love that rob and rebecca had a one night stand lmao. like. i love that god damn story beat so much. it’s just about changing the way you look at things - so when i used to look at that scene, all i ever saw was jfc why i don’t actually want this - but after really and honestly thinking about it in every way, by about acknowledging that i can’t change it and then looking at it from every angle, i look at that scene now and i see the show committing to showing just how affect robert is about everything, and also playing out a soap trope in what is literally the most shippy way possible. i see a scene that is, perversely, entirely about robert’s love for aaron and also a scene that gives me a great look at who robert is as a character and the way he reacts in situations. 

it sounds ridiculous? like, it really god damn does, but like… actually, why does it matter if it sounds ridiculous if i’m having fun and hopefully making other people smile occasionally lmao

also, beyond this, i’m also all about accepting the things i cannot change - and the writing of emmerdale? that’s a thing i cannot change. so why fight it? why not just buckle in and enjoy the ride? what the hell else am i gonna do? 

so yeah, anyway, it’s not about paying dues or anything, it’s not about making us suffer for our crimes of loving too much lmaooo  - they’re just…. it’s a soap and they’re telling a story that ultimately has robert and aaron interacting regularly and still being stupidly in love and eventually reuniting properly. so all i can do and all i want to do is find ways to enjoy the journey - and this is true of every storyline ever. 

and the result of me giving as much voice as i can to the things i enjoy and literally just ignoring any thoughts i may have or thoughts other people have about what they don’t because i don’t find them helpful (sorry all other ppl i love you i just gotta do me) - is that what we’ve had so far has been so much fun for me. i enjoy aaron and robert interacting in a - in a way, very abuse era-esque manner, obviously in an entirely different context. like - they both want to be together but they can’t - and now the feelings are there but only tenfold and so their scenes always have that bubbling underneath. a little bit of subtextual love and angst is fun. yes i want them to get back together and make out and cuddle and all that good and lovely jazz but like… that’s not the only way to enjoy their scenes, i don’t think. why would anyone ever rewatch the lighter relationshippy aspects of the abuse storyline if it was?

like - the smitten kitten scene? maxine’s episode where they go to find sandra? rob dealing with aaron leaving to see family in ireland for a bit (#parallel) and literally just trying to get info about how he’s doing out of chas on a daily if not hourly basis? they weren’t together during any of that. so why do they need to be together as a couple to have amazing, wonderful scenes now? why does them being split up automatically mean we’re in for months of no robron at all? because that hasn’t been what i’ve seen so far and from everything that has been said, that isn’t what they seem to have in store for us going forward.

obviously, you know, you gotta do you etc etc but… yeah, this is literally my secret lmao. just… idk. it took me a long af time to learn this and i had to go through a lot of sadness to get there but… idk the idea of being sad about a soap all the time just isn’t something i’m interested in for a way to spend my free time. so i don’t spend it that way. 

basically, what i’m saying is, this isn’t just innately me, irrationally excited about all things ever. it’s something i learnt to do and it changed my god damn life for the better in every damn way.

(i think it does make me a horrible person to try and be salty with when it comes to plot or spoilers though because i will, with all the love and good intentions in the world, probably refuse to let a conversation wallow in that misery and probably change the subject to something happier in order to preserve the hard work i’ve done on myself)

idk idk hopefully this doesn’t sound like a flipping lecture or whatever but this ask just came at a hilariously appropriate time for where my head has been at this morning

#long post #.......sorry this is all so unnecessary lmao #answering anons #ed #ed spoilers