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bobby-r2d2-floyd · 1 year

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behind the glass part one | (tgm x nhl)

note: i've finally sat down long enough to actually write this and im so excited that it's finally here!

warnings: a few swear words, nothing too bad. not a lot of dialogue, mostly background stuff, time jumping, mentions of the covid-19 pandemic

beta'd by the lovely @sarahsmi13s

word count: 4.2k

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The first time your parents took you to a hockey game, it was 2008 and you were 13 years old. You remember it was glass seats, home-shoots-twice side right off to the left of the net for the Pittsburgh Penguins in Mellon Arena, affectionately named The Igloo for the white domed top and it being home to the Penguins.

Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin, the Penguins Two Headed Monster, had a combined 68 goals and 148 assists that season. They both racked up career 100 goals with Crosby earning his 200th career assist and 300th career point. Malkin earned the Art Ross trophy as well as the Conn Smythe trophy with a nod to the Hart Memorial trophy, whereas Crosby only received a nod for the Mark Messier Leadership Award.

The Penguins had a decent regular season that year as a team. 45 wins to their 37 losses (28 in regulation and 9 in overtime) but they went on to beat the Philadelphia Flyers, then the Washington Capitals, then the Hurricanes over in Raleigh before finally beating the Detroit Red Wings for the Stanley Cup at the Joe Louis Arena.

Your dad used to joke that you didn’t blink the entire time that you were there, not even during the intermissions between periods. From that moment forward, you were hooked. Hockey consumed your life, you begged your parents for the chance to go again, and again, and again. You went to every home game that took place on weekends. The glass seats were a gift as a back to school surprise, but you never minded sitting further back if it meant you had a better view of the ice.

Over the next 12 years you must have attended nearly 500 games (professional and college), and when you weren't at the games, you were watching them on TV. You, with the help of your parents and grandparents, cultivated your childhood around the sport. Games, practices, meet-the-players events… you attended as much as you could; you even played on a rec team for a bit.

In high school you convinced the head of the newspaper to let you write all four years instead of just your junior and senior years. You specialized in sports, aside from hockey, you were well educated with baseball and football. You graduated high school with a full ride to Penn State University where you double majored in digital journalism and telecommunications and received a certificate in sports journalism.

You thanked whatever god there was above that you managed to bag a position with the Penguins as an assistant photographer for the team. You became a permanent fixture on your favorite team during year one of their back-to-back Stanley Cups, one away at San Jose (2016) and the second one at Nashville (2017) and you were just as over the moon as the players were as you watched Sidney lift the cup for the third time in the last decade.

As you made your way onto the ice, you threw some of the Predators players condolences and “good game [insert player here]” as they worked their way off the ice.

You had developed a close bond with the Russian half of the Monster, and with his wife at home with their newborn son, you made sure to facetime her as Geno skated up to you with the cup, cheering to her in their native tongue. You leave him to talk to his wife while you go off and take pictures of the rest of the players and staff that made it out to Nashville while they’re still celebrating on the ice before moving into the locker room.

The summer of 2017 was a whirlwind event.

Between attending cup celebrations for the friends you made on the team and then almost immediately getting right back to it with pre-season at the Penguins practice facility, UPMC Lemieux Sports Complex, in Cranberry.

On a rare day off, you and fellow Penguins photographer Leland Hawkins were at PNC Park watching the Pirates play the Cubs when the news came through.

“Jesus Christ.” you mumble as you look at your phone screen.

“What?” Leland asks, eyes not leaving the field as she shovels popcorn into her mouth.

“San Diego just announced that they were approved for their own NHL team and they broke ground on an arena that’s expected to be complete prior to the start of the 2020-21 season,” you paraphrase aloud as you scan the article. “We just went through a draft with Vegas and now we need to go through it again?”

“You’re joking, right? We just lost Fleury and now we’re about to lose ANOTHER person? Unbelievable…” Lee mutters before taking your phone from you and reading the article for yourself.

You watch as Rizzo hits a line drive to left field to take first base and you smile a bit, he was your favorite player after all, but the Pirates were the home team. Either way you would be happy with the outcome.

Expansion drafts were never fun for anyone. You remember the hot coal feeling in your stomach as you watched Marc-Andre say his goodbyes to Sid, Geno, and Kris. Players he had known for his entire career to go somewhere completely new.

“I hope I never get asked to go somewhere new. I don’t think I could ever leave this view,” you say as you kick your feet up on the seat in front of you, stealing Leland’s popcorn as you look out past the outfield to the Allegheny River and the Pittsburgh Skyline. For it being Father’s Day, the park wasn’t that packed considering the weather was absolutely beautiful.

“Yeah I think I could. Isn’t there a Navy base in San Diego? All the hot seamen.”

“Is there even a market for another team there? There’s already three teams in California, two of them are not even three hours away.” you say before cheering as Rizzo crosses home plate, bringing the score to 3-0, Cubs.

“New York has two basically next door to each other and then there’s the New Jersey team, ALSO right there.” Leland tries to rationalize and you shake your head.

“Madison Square Garden is in Manhattan and the Barclays Center is in Brooklyn, there’s a forty-ish minute difference and the Prudential Center is an hour away from Madison,” you correct her before standing. “Want anything from concession?”

“Get me a beer please? And why do you know all that?”

“I make it my job to know!” you yell back as you walk away from her.

While in line, you scan through the article again. The old Pechanga Arena will be demolished and then rebuilt to become a new top of the line facility, not too much different from the newer Little Ceasar’s Arena in Detroit, and will only be a 15 minute highway drive from Petco Park.

You shake your head and slip your phone back into your pocket before ordering two beers and a couple of pretzels before pressing the thought of another expansion team to the back of your mind.

The rest of the game flies by and the Pirates lost the series 7-1 which you weren’t surprised by. Tthe Cubs are a good team who’re just coming off the tail end of winning the World Series only eight months prior.

The news of another expansion was the talk of the locker room the next time you were at the Sports Complex. You were sitting in the hallway leading up to the locker room taking pictures when a little blond boy came running up to you.

“Lens!” You hear and you have barely enough time to set your camera down before you’re being knocked over by Nikita Malkin.

“Nik! What are you doing here?” you laugh as you wrap your arms around him.

“Gonna skate with daddy,” he says, his English is good but you know that Anna and Geno speak Russian primarily at home.

“That’ll be fun, gonna score some goals on Muzz?” He nods and you smile, “Good, score one for me.” you say before he bounces off and you manage to get a few photos of him and Geno walking down the hallway.

During the first half of the 2017-18 season the Pens were 19-21 and 28-14 in the back half. They managed to take second in the metropolitan division and head into the playoffs, where, unfortunately they had a second round exit after losing to the Capitals in game six.

As sad as you were for the team to go early, you were thankful for the opportunity to take a bit of a break. You and Leland were able to travel around Europe for a few months before reporting back to Pennsylvania before the players were due to return.

You were taking some pictures of new players’ jerseys that were hanging up when you heard the door open. You look over and see the captain standing there and you give him a small smile.

“Hey Sid. Ready to be back?” you ask as you move over to the next stall.

“Oh yeah, hopefully we’ll make it past round two this year,” he says and he takes a seat and starts pulling stuff out of his duffle that he had slung around his shoulder.

“Well, you never know. I’m just glad Ovechkin can finally shut up now about not having a cup,” you say and he laughs. His rivalry with the Russian has always been a big thing on the ice, but off you knew that the two were friends.

“Right, happy for him though,” he says before looking over at you. “What happened to Leland? Doesn’t she usually do this?”

“She actually moved to Denver. So it’s just me now. Well, at least until my assistant gets here.” you say and he laughs.

“A promotion? Good for you. You always deserved it.” He hesitates, “No offense to Lee.”

You smile and nod, “I’m sure she wouldn’t take any offense, Sid. How was your off season?”

“It was good, Nate and I did a lot around Cole Harbour. Spent a lot of time relaxing at home, played a bit with Taylor while she was in town. What about you?”

“Went to a lot of Pirates games, helped Lee move, spent a lot of time outside with my younger siblings, hung out with some of the WAGs that stayed in town..” you say before taking a seat next to him. “Did you read that on top of the San Diego expansion, Seattle is getting a team now too? Making the even 32 teams and odd 33? Wonder who will be next.”

“Yeah I heard… It’s weird though, that Bettman has allowed so many expansions.”

“It’s Bettman, are you surprised? Why does he do half the shit he does?” You roll your eyes, your disdain for the NHL Commissioner very evident on your face.

“Don’t say that too loud, he might hear you,” he bumps your shoulder and you laugh.

“Right, the last thing I need is to be fired, or worse… transferred.”

“Hey, you work for Mario and he loves you. He won’t let you leave.” Sidney tells you and you can tell he’s being honest. Crosby may be many things, but a liar? Never.

You notice the proximity between the two of you and you take a deep breath, his cologne filling your senses before you clear your throat and stand up. “I uh.. I’ll leave you to change. See you on the ice, Cap.”

You shake the thought of being so close to him off, he’s Sidney Crosby and you’re just a photographer for the team.

You wait for Sid to take the ice before moving down to the bench so you can get pictures of him without the glass being in the way.

You remember the day that he got drafted to the Penguins in 2005, you remember all the things that everyone had said about him, “he was going to save the Penguins”. All the injuries he had, all the concussions, the year of missed games… He was one of the best skaters in the game after some of the legends. Watching him skate is the reason that you took up skating yourself, he was your on ice hero but you would never tell him that.

After taking some pictures of him skating, you make your way out from behind the bench so you can head up to your office and get started on picking what pictures to send to the digital media team.

Before you know it, the season is already ending with a first round exit, swept by the Islanders despite winning 44 games in the regular season.

By the time March of 2020 rolled around, the Penguins had 40 wins and 29 losses, a comeback that they needed.

Until everything came to a standstill.

Commissioner Bettman paused the season due to the threat of Covid-19. All non-essential positions were suspended due to the virus.

For the next four months you didn’t leave your home. All groceries were ordered from people who were brave enough to do Shipt, you taught yourself how to actually cook, spent a lot of time talking to your parents over Zoom, you started to write more, making mock articles to get back into the swing of the journalism aspect of your job again.

By the time that July had come around there were two hub cities named for the play-offs, Toronto and Edmonton. You traveled with the Penguins to Toronto for the modified tournament but left after the Canadiens knocked out the Penguins after three games.

September 28, 2020 the Lightning were crowned Stanley Cup Champions, and the 20-21 season began officially on January 13, 2021. Only 56 games would be played before the Cup would be returned to the Lightning again only a few short months later.

The San Diego expansion draft took place just after Stamkos raised the cup for the second time.

You watched as players got drafted to the San Diego Tomcats, shocked as some teams traded away some of their best skaters, knowing that they didn’t go lightly. Just like what happened with Vegas when Fleury left, you felt a sinking feeling in your chest.

You watched as the last six players were drafted: first was Bradley Bradshaw, center from the Capitals; Reuben Fitch, left defense from the Predators; Mickey Garcia, left wing from the Rangers; Jake Seresin, right wing from the Stars [you rolled your eyes at his name, good luck Tomcats]; Javy Machado, right defense from the Bruins; and the fortieth man drafted was Robert Floyd, goalie from the Blues.

Floyd and Bradshaw were the two you recognized the most between the six of them. Both were on cup winning teams in the last five years so you were surprised to see them there, but then again they weren’t the only Cup winners on the team, some guy named Brigham Lennox from the Lightning was also there. He was going to be a cocky asshole.

You were driving into PPG Paints the next morning when you got the phone call, it was a number you didn’t recognize so you were hesitant when you finally did answer.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Y/N Champaign?” a deep voice asked from the other side and you sucked in a breath before answering.

“This is.”

“My name is Beau Simpson, I’m calling to inform you that you’re being relocated to San Diego. You’ll need to be here when players report for training.” he says and you pull over to the side of the road.

“Sir I’m employed directly with the Penguins, not the NHL-”

“Oh I know. You’re being sent over by recommendation of Mario Lemieux.”

“Oh.”

“I know you’re comfortable with the Penguins, I know that you’re from Pittsburgh so it’ll be hard leaving home. But I’ve seen your work both on the ice and off, as well as behind the glass. You’re talented and as a new team, we could use some talent everywhere it counts.” he says, and you throw your head back against your seat.

“Of course, sir. I’ll be on a plane before the afternoon.” you tell him and you can hear the relief in his voice.

“Wonderful. Bradley Bradshaw will meet you at the gate, he was the first one here so he can get you to the facility.”

“I’m assuming this is an office phone, so I’ll email you the details of my flight.”

“Don’t worry about it, Mario already has them. I’ll pass your number along to Bradshaw.” he says before the line goes dead and you look at your phone as the line disconnects.

You pull back into the road and continue your drive, the last one to PPG Paints as a home team member.

Mario is in his office when you make your way upstairs. A gentle knock on the glass alerts him to your presence and he gives you a smile, “come in.”

“Beau Simpson called me while I was on my way over.” you tell him as you sit down across from him.

“Yeah, he called me last night. I’m sorry I didn’t-”

You hold your hand up and stop him, “don’t worry about it. It’s… okay. It’ll suck leaving the team and everyone behind but new opportunities, right? Plus it’ll be nice seeing the sun for longer than three out of twelve months.” you joke and he cracks a smile and laughs with you.

“You’ll be missed.”

“I know.”

He passes you an envelope and it has your last check as well as a flight itinerary and contract for the Tomcats for you to read through on the plane. “Well, I’m sure you have some owner stuff to do so I’m gonna go say bye to the team.”

He stands and pulls you in for a hug, you were close with everyone, players and staff, so it wasn’t surprising when he pulled you in gently. “I’m gonna miss you, kid.”

You pull away and give him a gentle squeeze on his arm before walking out of the office and down to the ice, stopping along the way to say goodbye to familiar faces in the hallways.

You take a look out to the ice, you watch as the team laughs and smiles, passing the pucks to each other as they all run their own drills. Coach Sullivan is the first person to notice you, skating over and leaning against the boards.

“No camera today?”

“No.. not today… or tomorrow… or next week.” you say and his smile drops.

“No, where to?”

“San Diego.”

“Well, they just got a great person added to their team, it sucks it comes at our loss.” he says before blowing his whistle, getting the attention of all the players. Sidney is the first to skate over to you, slowing down before hitting the boards.

“What’s going on?”

“I’m being relocated. So I just wanted to come by and say goodbye to the team.” you tell him with a sad smile. He opens the gate for you and you set down your paper work on the bench before taking his hand and stepping onto the ice.

One by one, all players new and old (mostly old) pull you in for a tight hug, ignoring the sting of the hard pads digging into you at odd angles. You laugh as Geno hauls you into the air before setting you back down on the ice, only slipping a little bit but he’s quick to steady you.

After wrapping up your goodbyes, you head back to your apartment and pack up just the necessities before meeting your mom downstairs.

“You ready sweetheart?” she asks, helping you with your camera bags and you sigh.

“As ready as I’ll ever be to move away from the two homes I’ve ever known.” you tell her and she gives you a small smile.

“You’re going to be just fine over there.”

“I know, it's just… this city means so much to me. It’ll suck only being back for a few games a season.”

“And holidays.” she says and you laugh.

“And holidays.” you confirm and she smiles.

The drive to the airport went too quick for your liking and before you knew it, you were in the air above the steel city, watching as the skyline and the yellow bridges fade into the distance.

Six hours later you were landing in Fightertown, USA. Stiff from the flight, you do your best to work out all the kinks and cracks that your body goes through as you walk over to baggage claim. It’s easy to find your gear bags due to the giant Penguins logo on the sides, and the small bright yellow suitcase came shortly after.

You turned your phone back on and the first notification that you get is from an unknown number and a text that reads

Waiting for you at the Starbucks in term. 2. See you soon! -Rooster

“Rooster? Who the fuck is that?” you mumble before making your way to the Starbucks. You do a quick scan of the area, you know what Bradley looks like, so you know that none of the people around you are him.

15 minutes go by when an out of breath, lanky brunette walks up to you.

“I am so sorry I’m late, I was here but then I had to go to the bathroom and then there was some kids that recognized me and-”

“Take a breath, I’m not mad.”

“Okay, give me a minute,” he takes a few deep breaths before holding out his hand, “I’m Bradley Bradshaw, or Rooster, if you want.”

“Rooster?” you ask, his palm large and warm against your own as you introduce yourself as well and you take the moment to take him in, his brown hair is already sun bleached at the front and he dons a pornstache that he somehow manages to pull off.

“Yeah, Ovi started calling me that when I joined the Caps so..”

“Oh trust me, I am well versed with Ovi nicknames. He used to call me chicken because my family had chickens a few years ago.. He’s the one who started calling me Lens, actually.” you say as you stand up and pull the handle up on your suitcase.

Bradley is taking the strap of your gear bag when you grab it from him and he looks at you wide eyed.

“Sorry it's just.. There’s a lot of expensive equipment and-”

“Hey, it’s okay. I get it. Would you rather carry it or…?”

“Yeah, sorry I know it's weird and I know everything is packed really well, but I know it was probably thrown around during loading and unloading.” you say and he gives you a small smile.

“Well, then I’m taking this.” he says as he takes the handle of your suitcase from you. “Welcome to San Diego, Lens.” he says as you make your way to the front where his Bronco is waiting for you.

You two make idle small talk as he makes the short drive from the airport to where the new Pechanga Arena is located.

“It’s going to be weird not seeing you in the Caps uniform anymore.” you say as you climb out of the car and he laughs.

“Yeah, but it’ll be nice to see you everyday now.” he says and you notice the flirty smile on his face and you roll your eyes.

“Just remember to smile for the camera, Bradshaw.” you chirp back to him as he opens the door for you.

Standing in the vestibule of the arena, you take everything in. The Navy timeline that wraps around the wall, the Top Gun memorabilia that's displayed behind glass. Bronze statues of the old San Diego Gulls members standing proudly. Bradley gives you a gentle nudge before looking up and you do the same, a replica F-14 Tomcat is hanging, wings in, right above your head.

“Wow… I’ve been to Little Caesars many times over the years, for various reasons, so I knew a little bit of what to expect but this is… Amazing.”

The two of you wander down into the bowl seating and you watch as the ice gets painted, the steel blue and slate gray of the logo is being carefully brushed onto the stark white ice. You follow him around the rest of the arena, a small tour of the locker room where there’s various players in a state of undress after a voluntary workout before going to the offices.

Your office was a bit bigger than the one at PPG, the only difference was the F-14 that was painted on the wall instead of the Penguin from the 90’s that you loved so much.

“Simpson, Coach Kazansky and the rest of the coaching staff are going to be waiting in the review room whenever you’re ready. It’s down the hall to the left, and then it's the third door on the right.” Bradley says before leaving you to settle in.

You pull out your phone and send a quick text to your mom that you landed just fine and were already settling into your new office before you put your hands on your hips and let out a sigh as you looked around, it’ll be a long road of making your office comfortable like it was back home, but you honestly couldn’t wait to see what this new city would bring you.

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dylansslutt · 11 months

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Business/ Joel miller

age gap/ the reader is 28 while joel is in his 50s

summary: you were mean to be alone but so was he? staying away leads to wanting more

warnings: smut, violence, cursing

you found jackson, after a long time out in the open infested land of the dead. you weren't old but you weren't young, being only 28. 8 when the infection began.

your mother was a nurse and taught you every life skill she knew. you became good friends with maria, and eventually tommy. you went on runs, helped plan and on talk on things about jackson.

your nursing skills ended you a nicer room, more so a small house. thankful for it but you sure deserved it patching up folks.

yet when time comes around about tommys older brother joel showing up with a young girl named ellie well things changed. you stayed to yourself, never actually talking to him.

"y/n, come over here i want you to meet someone."

your eyes shift over to marlene and the infamous joel miller. swallowing down your sudden nervousness, you make way over towards them. knowing this would happen eventually.

"this is y/n, i was telling you about. great nurse as well as she's helped a lot of people. oh y/n great, this is joel tommy's brother." she rambles as you make eye contact with the man.

he looks you up and down before offering a nod, "joel."

you give a small nod back, "y/n. uh what's up, i was about to ride out soon?"

she sighs, "i need you to take joel, show him our spots." you wanted to protest, ask her to ask anyone else. yet you give him a tight lip smile.

"hope you know how to ride." he scoffs almost, a small smile appears on his face. something you figure rarely happens.

"honey i was riding horses before you were born, let's go." he walks past you making you give her a look. who only stifles a laugh motioning for you to go forward.

biting your lip, you turn and jog a few steps forward. gaining sync you finally let your eyes wander him discreetly.

"the stables right up here." the path was short, and the sigh made a smile spread across your face. joel took a second to give you a good look, noticing how unreadable you were.

pretty none the less. yet you were younger, and he was here for ellie and tommy only.

"this is apollo, that's hades over there. honestly fits ya' if im being honest." the names sounded familiar.

"ya' know greek mythology?" he questions walking up to the darker colored horse.

you pets apollo, "i'm the one who gave them their names. i might be young but i still had something... before all this shit."

clearing your throat, you walks the horse out. "let's get going."

he nods and follows.

the two of you left the first sight, which wasn't much. you did get a better chance to watch him, analyze him a bit better. he was a bit hard to read but one thing certain.

for him being older he still was good looking.

the second place was a old hunting spot.

"here we gotta leave the horses." you come to a stop, joel watching as you swing yourself off effortlessly.

he just nods, "it's a old hunting spot, there's a couple round here. we should have everything in lines, but sometimes some' comes straying."

leading the way, you glance back at him. his eyes flicker around cautiously making you turn forward. he definitely was a bit different than his brother.

"how long you been at jackson?"

the question threw you off guard, not expecting him to even spark a conversation. "maybe a year, maria and i came across each other."

you slow down as you both walk side by side, you finally pointing towards the area.

"so up on those trees, we got hunting spots. then there is a small little shed over a little farther. i'll show ya' cause i need to take check on stocks."

"so is ellie your daughter? tommy mentioned he had a niece before." you glance over at him, trying the small talk he once said before.

"no, ellie is not my daughter. my daughter is dead." and with that you went silent, feeling so stupid for asking.

as you approach the shed, you put in the code for the lock. swinging it open, the light from the window made things more visible.

as he peers around, "ya' must be trusted to have the knowings of all these things."

you shrug, "i like to know what i am getting myself into... living here and all."

he notices how close off you are, and how double meaning your words were.

"i'm sorry, about my question. should've never said anything." he shakes his head, allowing you to feel some sort of relief.

"who'd you lose?" the question caught you off guard, hand hovering over the packs of matches. counting five. swallowing down every flashback that comes to mind.

"everyone." he has an indifferent look on his face at your answer. "who was the first person ya' had to kill?" your jaw drops.

"jesus christ, are you serious?" scoffing at his words he shrugs, looking through some stuff. "all alone, end up here alone. you seem to handle yourself, it's obvious some' happen."

"oh like it hasn't with you or anyone else? no one gives a shit. no one cares if you had to kill your sister or see your parents die or quiet literally mostly anyone you meet." you snap at him before opening a nearby drawer seeing the contents.

silence pass making you sigh.

"how old are you?" your head snaps towards him, closing one of the drawers. wondering why he is so curious all of a sudden.

"turning 29 soon, you?"

"56." he grumbles out and you stare at him shock.

"bullshit." he looks over at you confused.

"there is no way you are in your 50's." he looked good, too good it was no way. a small smirk lifts on his mouth, "yes hun, i am."

you just nod, "okay we're good here, still can't believe it though. i swore maybe 40 something." you head towards the door shaking your head. glad the subject took a change.

he rubs the back of his neck, noticing you a bit more. taking you in more, mind litters of you.

the walk back to the horses was quiet, you glance over at him. stealing a few glances. he was different, someone you didn't see all the time.

"there is one more place, but if all honesty. we wouldn't get back till about sun down, i can just show ya' another time."

he shrugs, "we are here for a little longer. i don't mind." you laugh, "you don't but if we get back in the middle of the night, we are going to bed hungry."

giving him a look. "i don't like to go to bed hungry, mister."

he smirks softly, shoving his gun in his back pocket. "guess, we better get going then. before little ole' princess starves over here."

the mock makes your mouth drop open, since he was close enough you space you smack his arm. "whatever old man."

as you go to walk off, he stops you by holding his hand up. the sound of rustling makes you still. everything seems fine for a moment, until one of the chain of bottle cans rang out.

"we made those to hear them. we gotta go!" you harshly whisper out, grab the reins of your horse. him following suit, as you jump up and gain full balance before you kick apollo to go.

flying off forward, glancing over your shoulder at joel. he was right behind you, before you glance in front of you. the trail was heavily made, and with the pace you were going you didn't pay attention.

"y/n wait!" you try to slow down, confused on why. unlike you joel noticed the movement alongside the woods. in such quickness someone comes running out from the side of the woods.

a gunshot rang from him, making you shriek as your horse bucks. trying to hold on desperately, only failing as apollo jerks you off.

your body slings off hitting the ground roughly, rolling down the side hill. a gun shot rang out again followed by another. slowing into a stop, your body aches.

heaving out as you look around, seeing your gun and knife still intact to you. letting out a deep groan, you push yourself up into a sitting position.

the sound of footsteps behind you, make your hand fly to your gun. "y/n?" joels voice is heard from behind , turning your head softly to see him. he rushes down the hill, dropping to his knees beside you.

"i'm fine." you try and shrug him off. not the first time you fell but his eyes land on your leg. a scowl almost replaces his once almost worried gaze.

"ya' ain't fine, been fuckin' shot." he mumbles before gripping a piece of your long sleeve fabric. ripping it off into a shredded piece as your eyes follow his line of focus.

you didn't even notice your leg was bleeding open. you got shot. you got fucking shot. hissing as he wraps it, your hand flies out to his arm. "this is gonna fuckin' hurt, so please do it fast."

your eyes are staring deeply into his, the pain starting to become slightly noticeable. he pulls the fabric tight before tying it, making you cover your mouth with your hand.

a tear or two slips down your cheeks, exhaling softly as he drops his hands from your leg. "who the fuck where they? did they trail us? a-are there more?"

the questions slip out so fast, nervous and anxious. joel shakes his head. "there were two, i killed them okay?" your lips tremble, "i was so stupid i th-thought they were infected."

"shh. if there's more, i don't know. which is why we need to get going? apollo shouldn't be to far, so hop on hades." joel reassures you, he wasn't mad because this genuinely wasn't your fault. you were smart, he notice that quickly. this was something you would never see coming.

you smile softly as joel uses their names, "you use their names. not everyone uses their names." biting your lip to mask the pain.

he gives you a soft look. "we'll they should." the moment was sweet, but you move forward. grabbing onto his hand which was held out for you. pulling yourself up, you almost fall back down.

joel's free hand slips around your waist, pulling you into his chest. a soft curse slips your lips. it hurt, it really did. you had your fair share of wounds, but never have been shot before. usually you do the fixing up.

biting your lip glancing down at your blood soaked leg pant's. joel moves his one hand around your arm instead of hand, eyes now on him.

"can you walk?" you don't know but not wanting to appear weak in front of this intimidating man, you step forward. the pain shot up into your hips, you wanted to scream.

looking back at him, nodding the lie knowing your voice would betray you. he stares at you before stepping forward, "good let's go."

as you go to take another step your leg gives out, hitting the floor almost. his hand jerks you up and into his arms bridal style.

"stubborn as a bull. don't lie, y/n." the tone of his voice left you quiet, so dad like. your head rolls to the side, kind of dizzy. you see hades come into view.

he helps you up first, sitting behind you. one hand on the ropes, the other wraps around your stomach. holding you close to his chest, hand covering your whole stomach almost.

the pain from the horses gallop hurt, each movement in your leg burned.but you were determine to ride your horse back.

"i swear i'll be fine. it's not far, just stay behind me." he had helped you up on the horse after much protest. hesitant for some reason yet you weren't someone he had to care about. so he let you.

not like he could with your arguing.

the ride didn't take that long, but when you hit the stables. your body tips sideways and you hit the ground.

"y/n?"

feeling your cheeks being tapped, you force your eyes open. coughing out slightly as you try to push him away. "i'll be okay." you repeat as joel, gets up to tie your horse up along with his quickly.

trying to push yourself up, he watches you fail miserably. coming back over, he wraps your arm around his neck. motioning you to lean onto him for support.

"hey, hey. where we goin'? where am i taking you?"

your voice was hoarse. "my house." he stares confused not knowing which one, but then it dawns on him.

the one day he saw you, on the small corner home. outside watering a plant, alone but happy. that house. how the fuck he remembers no idea but he helps you towards it.

you were coherent enough to help jog his memory, motion little turns to take. it was a block or two away from the horses, you were starting to go in and out from the blood loss.

he ends up picking you up bridal style halfway, your door unlocked already as joel slams the door open, eyeing your layout. he sets you down on the couch.

you wake up fully at the sound of stuff slamming, "where is it?" he mumbles to himself. out of it you think of medical stuff.

"joel?"

he comes around the wall, "the stuff is under the sink. get a rag from that closet door."

he is off to grab those things, and you push yourself up. ripping the hole open more to your pants, you shakily lift your leg for a second. whimpering you feel the back of your leg for an exit wound.

running over one, a sigh of relief escapes you even through the pain. the adrenaline was worn off but you knew you had to get the wound patched.

"Here."

the items were sat down, "ther-there is an exit wound. i need you to clean and stitch me, if i-i do it. i'll fuckin' pass out."

you snatch the bottle, joel managed to find. blood smearing around it as you bring it to your lips. taking a few good deep chugs, one more even before handing it over to him.

he watches you, how strong you were. he seen grown men be more of a pussy than you. you rode a fucking horse home, for christ sake.

pouring the liquid onto your thigh, you clasp onto the cushion. the pain makes a small screech escape your lips. "fuck!"

he puts a rag down, handing you the bottle. you take it with shaky hands, downing a gulp. leaning back feeling hot, "if i pass out. do not judge."

he shrugs, wiping the area making you wince. he cleans the needle as he gets ready to sow you up. "no need too, you were shot."

"i thought you were gonna be a real dick, joel. you are surprisingly nice." you mutter through gritted teeth as he takes the bottle once more over your thigh, liquid burning the wound.

he laughs, "ya' just don't know me, darling."

he hands over a clean rag, "bite this so you don't tell the town." weakly grabbing onto it, hands touching. blood smears onto each other, no telling if it was from yours or his.

he watches how drain and pale you looked. hesitantly he lines up the needle, before pushing it through. you shove the rag in your mouth, barely drowning out your screams.

joels hand grips your leg down tightly, against your legs involuntary movement. seconds later your body drops onto the couch. he watches as you pass out, finishing the work with a deep look on his face.

your eyes flutter open, the soft light from your kitchen makes your eyes squint. the actions from earlier come to you, when the soreness spreads through you, along with the deep pain in your leg.

sitting up slightly, getting a look at your leg. joel stitched it up pretty good. your eyes jerk up to someone coming out the kitchen.

"hey, you're up." you nod softly. "how long was i out?" he sits down a glass of water, which you instantly take.

"all night. i went through your medicine bag, pulled you out some pain pills." he hands you one over before you finished your water.

"thanks." you take it as your wince forgetting about movement. "jesus, my body. it's like i was hit by a bus."

joel sits down across from you. "no, just thrown off a horse." you give him a pointed look, he eases back a smirk.

"did you sleep at all?" he shakes his head and you roll your eyes. "go. go home. i'll be fine, i can take care of myself."

he gives me a look, "i know that. just wanted to make sure you were okay." you smile softly, before a thought popped in your head.

"can you get me a wet towel? i need some of this blood off, and some new clothes. it'll save me from walking." your voice showed tiredness. you tell him where everything was, which wasn't hard to find. you wouldn't believe you been living here longer than two weeks.

he turns around to let you get undressed but trying to take your shirt off was miserable. "joel?"

he looks over his shoulder, eyebrows fusing together confuse on why you haven't changed. "c-can you help, it's really hard?"

he notices the innocence, and steps forward. his rough fingertips help pull the shirt over your head. your black bra pushing up your exposed breast. darting his eyes away, you grab the new shirt.

tugging it over your head, he helps with the sleeves. "thank you." he stares in your eyes, not knowing why he was helping. yet when your eyes still train on his and slightly lower to his lips.

he moves forward pushing his lips onto yours. so gentle which surprises you as he comes off nothing but that. instead he cups your face softly, deepening the kiss as you gasp into his mouth.

pulling away softly, you blush under his stare. "help me with my pants?"

he slowly tugs your pants down, careful of your bad leg. it wasn't so sexual, it was just innocence something so rare. he had grabbed some shorts, thankful for that. pulling them up you smile up at him.

"that was a workout." you grasp the wet rag that he had set aside, wiping at the dried blood knowing you weren't about to try and bathe right now.

he shakes his head. "i should go check on ellie. i'll swing by later?"

you nod, almost finishing your arms and face. feeling so tired you were gonna pass out. he left and you were left with sleep not even able to process the moment just before you.

days passed and you haven't seen joel. you'd be lying if you said you didn't care but you weren't bound to show it. your leg was still sore but you were tired of doing nothing.

stepping out the house slowly, leg aching but happy you took a pain killer. taking it slow, you headed down to the small little building used for your help with the jackson citizens.

opening it up and walking around, you smile at lina.

"hey."

"i heard! are you okay?" she rushes around, you nod your head. "yes, tired of being at home."

she shakes her head, "i'll put a chair in the room for you."

you smile gratefully towards her. she is a smart girl about 17 you think? been teaching her everything you know, quick learner at that.

she came by told you about her being here while you were out. helping two patients. "can you put oil on this and rewrap it?"

she nods and goes to grab the items, happy she was figuring out the natural remedies you can use for things as medicine. she comes back and helps with your leg, doing a much better job than you.

"thanks, lina. seriously." you thank the girl and she merely shrugs. the door swings open and joel comes walking in. your sit up in confusion before he points at you.

"can we talk?" you knew it wasn't a question, you look over at lina. who takes the hint and scurries off to the back.

"what's up?"

"it's been three days, why am i told you are at work?" you look up at him confused.

"you don't know me, you haven't even came to check on me? i am sorry why are you angry right now?"

he shakes his head, "me and ellie aren't leaving. do you understand that, i'm here to stay. if you keep gettin' fuckin' hurt imma' kill you myself."

you push yourself up, leaning against the desk. "oh now he has a big boy voice. i'm glad you are here for good joel, but i can't sit inside forever. now i am at 'work' so can we do this another time?"

he stares at you before he shoves himself over the desk, capturing your lips in a ravaging kiss. "damn woman. i don't know what is is, but fuck i like ya' darlin'."

you push him away slightly, "you joel miller are entirely too soft."

his eyes soften for a moment, the thought of a lot of things come to him. knowing you met ellie a few times, who found out about you two.

you were maternal, something he craved that he never had in his life. innocent and sweet but also a strong independent women. this scared him. this scared you.

he left shortly after and a hour or so passed and someone comes walking in the door with flowers. you look up but scowl at the sight of shaun in front of you.

your ex boyfriend, kind of as you two had a thing until you found him hooking up with a girl in a spot you showed him.

the flowers set down in front of you, make your eyes flicker to lina. she looks away looking as if she wants to laugh. "i heard about the run, i'm sorry about that. how about dinner baby?"

"baby?" you glare up at him. "don't bother with that shaun, it's over. we are done so just take your flowers and go, leave me the hell alone."

he scoffs, "still a bitch huh? things don't change, and i was trying to be nice."

your eyes widen, "leave!" you point to the door. he rolls his eyes, "i was just leaving."

flustered you glance over at lina, sighing miserably. "first joel and now him? i need a fuckin' break."

a knock on your door, makes you sigh. standing up and hobbling over, "who is it?"

"uh, joel?"

"come in!" you yell not wanting to walk farther, he walks in and glances you up and down. "hey." you smile softly, feeling the energy.

you been thinking of a lot you wanted to say. he walks forward, hand on your waist guiding you to sit back down.

"we need to talk." he nods in agreement.

"well i- i just have a lot of this baggage and history. this stuff is new and god i've been craving something like this-like you." the confession was raw as your eyes reach his, who watches you in a indescribable way.

"i just am scared, scared you'll leave."

he shakes his head, "if ya' knew all the fucked up shit i've done. i don't think you'll look at me the same."

you grasp his hand, squeezing it tightly. "i doubt that."

sitting closer together a small confession leaves you, "i know, i know i am a little younger but... i- i've had my losses. i've had my kills."

tears fill your eyes, threatening to spill. not wanting to look at joel, "i-i had to do fucked up shit to survive joel, and i did stuff to cope. i'm not pro-"

"hey, it don't gotta be all told now. we have time, darlin'." his embrace was nice as he pulls you in. kissing your forehead slightly.

pushing away he stops you, eyes staring up at him doe like. his thumbs wipe the fallen tears. "you're safe with me."

he wanted you safe and protected like ellie. he just knew with you, you could handle it just maybe.

your door swinging open, makes you jump. joel looks at you confused and you shrug. "i-i"

"y/n!" shaun voice calls out, your heart dropping.

"oh no."

he walks around the corner, stopping when he lands on you two. "what the fuck is this?"

he chuckles and your eyes flicker to joel who went very still and very quiet. "so this- this old fuck is the guy you are whoring around with behind my back?"

standing up ignoring the pain, glaring at the monster. "you cheated on me you crazy fuck! you quite literally just broke into my home!" joel was standing up, almost like he was calculating his next move,

glass breaking makes you jump as you see he knocks a few items you only had up onto the ground. joel snaps and launches forward. you saw what he didn't want you to see.

he beat shaun to a pulp, shoving him outside the home. words were shared as you are stuck in the same spot.

the blood stains your wooden floors and the sound of the door slamming makes your eyes snap up. joel is infront of you, chest rapidly moving up and down.

"i- i am so sorry, he-" you try with anything but joel shakes his head.

"y/n, y/n! are you okay?" he snaps you out of it and you nod. "yeah, yeah i'm fine." your hands run through your hair. glancing down at his hand.

"oh my god, your knuckles." he stops your movements, just grasping onto you softly.

your eyes land on his gaze. "i went on like a few dates with him, and he hooked up with some other chick. i-i didn't know he was crazy."

"won't be a issue anymore."

you gulp, "i appreciate the help. thi-this last week but i am someone you don't wanna get close with."

joel's expression drops, not expecting for you have such a recoil. he wasn't even expecting himself to start to like you. yet here you two were.

he shakes his head, "honey. this-" he motions around you two, the broken glass beneath you. "this ain't shit. if you heard half the stuff i've done, i'm not sure ya' would be standing here right now."

you give him confuse look but he steps closer.

"i ain't afraid of what's inside this pretty little head of yours." he sees the fear in your eyes, the words make them flutter shut. when they reopen he is right in front of you.

hand reaching up to cup your cheek, thumb smoothing across your skin. slowly his lips lower, you both tasting each other. his grip tightens on you as yours wrap around the base of his neck.

he lifts you up, tossing you gently on the couch.

your shirt was lifted up and his beard tickles your skin. kisses trail around your ribs, underneath your bra. his one hand grips the side of your thigh, tightening it as he pulls you closer.

lips back on his, before slipping down your neck. a heavy sigh escapes your lips as he places himself between you.

"fuck ya' gorgeous." he stares down at you making you giggle. your hands tug him down to your lips again as his hand runs over you.

gasping in his mouth, his free hand grasp around your neck. other hand slowly teasing you.

eyes opening him staring down at you, watching your reaction. "please." you beg.

he slips his hands around your pants, tugging them down. "is this what you want baby."

his thumb presses right on your clit, applying some pressure. your hands fumble behind you, unclasping your bra. you lean up tossing your shirt and bra onto the floor somewhere.

joel lifts your hips up slightly, making you squeal. pulling your panties down and off from around your ankles, you swear you saw his eyes roll back for a moment.

his bruised hand was up around your throat again, soft but holding you in place. his good hand lets his thumb rub your clit slightly.

"fuck joel." you whine at his teasing. "you wanna feel good?" he leans down sucking one of your free nipples. gasping at the feeling, moaning into your hands.

"don't hide, tell me what ya' want darlin'."

looking up at him, sheepishly as he takes you in more.

"please touch me."

it rolls of your tongue and his beard stubbles against your thighs as he devours himself into you. your hands in his hair, eyes widening as one of his thick plump fingers enters themselves into you.

"fuck, joel." his hand grips your thigh, moving it on top of your thigh. in a sniper position he lays pleasuring you. mind swirling as tommy's brother eats you out.

"taste so good, baby." another finger enters you making your leg move slightly, him pinning it down almost. "stay still."

you whine out, hands coming up to your breast trying to grasp something. it was becoming too much, the pit in your stomach kept building.

"fuck like that." your words come out as a whisper, eyes rolling back as joel looks up at you through hooded eyes. his print sticking against his jeans.

he loved watching how off you were getting. his tongue moves in such a way on your clit you try pushing at his head, "oh my-"

his hands grasp yours easily, stopping you as his fingers curl up into you in such pace. "oh fuck." your mouth was parted unable to contain the moan littering your lips.

joels face and beard were soaking with your liquids, he didn't stop there. you didn't even notice he was stroking himself freely now, lifting up off the bed some.

he lifts up from you, letting you breathe from the torturing pleasure. his lips land on yours, tasting yourself on him. without warning he slowly slides himself into you, your mouth opens as he shoves his tongue into it.

the moan you both share as he bottoms out, nails digging into his bicep as he lifts your legs up around his waist.

"so tight, darlin'." he leans back, moving slowly watching as you try moving against him. "not so fast, darlin'."

he pushes down your stomach, going deeper. this 'old man' sure knew what the fuck he was doing. he hits deeper, making your back arch slightly. his thumb brushing over your clit.

he keeps the pace the same as he rubs your clit slowly with his thumb. holding one leg in place, giving it a soft kiss.

"joel please." you whine looking at him through your lashes, his grip tightens and his hand slips away up around your neck. his hips quicken, slamming into you.

one hand holds onto his arm around your neck, the other grips the pillow under you. he kept hitting the right spot making you stutter out a whimper, him telling you how good you were taking him.

trying to look up at him through his pounding, he grips tighter around your throat. "fuck darlin'."

"filling me up, daddy." it just came out, you weren't thinking. yet for some reason joel just leans down kissing you. brushing against your clit from the decrease in space.

"imma' cum." you whimper against him, his movements never faltering. "cum darlin'."

"fu-fuck, fuck.-" your head falls back into the pillow helplessly as he keeps going, riding your second orgasm out. he had a goal of wanting three out of you.

he tightens both hands around your waist, eyes focus on your face. trailing down watching how your tits bounced with each thrust. moaning he feels your legs shake and your head was shaking.

"jo-oh my-" you were so close to another one. the tension was too much and suddenly your dripping around him. the wet squelching sound leads into him pulling out, cumming into his hand.

a few drops drip onto your stomach, letting your leg slide down slowly. as he pulls out delicately, knowing your probably sensitive.

he notices a towel over a door, grabbing it wiping himself and yourself clean. he kisses your lips once more, tightening a hold onto you.

"did the 'old man' give ya' a good fuck." a laugh escapes your tired expression. you thought of that statement before.

"made me fuckin' squirt so i would go with yes..."

#joel miller imagine #joel miller fluff #joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller filth #the last of us smut #the last of us imagine

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ceasarslegion · 2 months

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Not keep sulking about it because i cant actually say what happened in a public forum but this shit is why they keep losing the good officers. This extreme response to every little non-safety issue mistake is why everybody who actually gives a shit about security instead of customer service and following a list leaves within 2 years. Thats why these airports are left with shitty reputations of officers who dont actually do anything but harass people over stupid shit that doesnt matter, because those are the ones that stay, because those are the ones who care more about what the book says than what actually keeps people safe.

This industry has become so fucked from the inside out. I really dont mean to sound like im bragging because im not but they are losing a good officer who primarily cares about peoples safety when i decided that im on borrowed time here now. The amount of times that i get stationed facing the public because passengers have said that im non judgemental and accommodating of diabilities and different cultural and religious and miscellaneous identity needs when they fill out surveys and how i made them feel like it wasnt this big huge deal that other officers would make it at other airports if they said it was too uncomfortable to walk through the detector and id just ask if they wanted to sit for a pat down instead. How many said that a simple question of "any uncomfortable spots i should be careful around before i touch anywhere?" made all the difference.

But that just rewarded me with more abuse from the shitty passengers who would throw things at me and then go on to claim (to the news on one occassion) that i kicked them out because of their race. Yeah, it was because of your race. When you threw your things at me and said youd come back on a certain day to hurt me. I kicked you out because of your race. Thats why. Management would help me drag those people out but other than that would just go "go back to your position now" no mental health support or even a "you wanna take a walk for 15 minutes after that?"

Fuck this place man. You try to make it better but you cant fix a broken system from the inside. Theyre losing somebody good thats just gonna make the place a little worse

#vent post

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thechaoticreader · 2 months

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Popular Books I Read and HATED

*Disclaimer: If you like any of these books, slay! I'm happy for you! These are just my own consumer choices, and imo negative book reviews are just as helpful as positive ones!*

This list is not long because I don't actively dislike many books that I read, and I have a very good sense of what I will and will not like, but there are some I had to read/were misled into reading so here we go:

1. Tender Is The Flesh

by Agustina Bazterrica

My rant review is above if you want more details but recently I've seen a few videos that articulate my feelings in a way that I couldn't before so im going to add a few reasons here that were not included in the original post:

It gave very Qanon and general antisemitic vibes: i.e blatant conspiracy made up by the "wealthy liberal elites" to encourage cannibalism for their own enjoyment (I know she's Argentinian however that doesn't mean im not allowed to get the ick from it)

Purposefully inaccurate depictions of meat industry and disrespect for farmers (context: im a vegetarian from farm country with a roommate who works in the cattle industry - Angus beef if you're curious - so im very familiar with the process and cannot say in good conscious that it is all bad -> just support local farmers <3)

world building makes little sense

COWS DO NOT EQUATE TO HUMANS NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO !!!!!!!!

the "disease" doesn't make sense (even if its made up who would believe it)

No themes were treated with the depth nor nuance they require (capitalism, feminism, veganism etc.)

I think thats all I haven't covered but this is the only book I have ever read where my hatred of it continues to grow with each day. I went out of my way and deleted it from my reader and get annoyed every time I see it. And for the record (because yes i'm salty) I didn't hate it because it was too disturbing, in fact I've read and loved worse and ive been an avid horror reader since I was (admittedly too) young. I hate it because there wasn't a well done story underneath the gore. I'll say it loudly for the people in the back GORY HORROR BOOKS STILL DESERVE A GOOD/INTERESTING STORY, especially if you want to try to put complex themes in it. If you cannot write a deep story but you're good at and enjoy gore, write yourself a lil 100 page splatter punk and we can all have a good time <3

Unlike with Tender Is The Flesh I don't have a ton of thought out critical reasons for the rest of these soooooo I'm going to give my highly subjective reasons -> I totally understand why some like them <3

2. The Handmaids Tale

by Margaret Atwood

hated the writing style

It didn't keep my attention

disliked the ending so much I actually threw it across the room <3

3. The Hobbit

by J.R.R Tolkien

hated the writing style

male centered fantasy is not my vibe

my ADHD cannot handle long incredibly descriptive sections in books -> I physically fell asleep multiple times while reading this book

honestly even with the movie I fall asleep every time

0/10 book I want to read

10/10 bedtime story

4. Lord of The Flies

by William Golding

hated the writing style

hated most of the characters (and not in a slay anti-hero way)

was forced to read it in high school and it single handedly sent me into a 4 year reading slump... I missed so many good books because of this and will forever hold a grudge

5. Romeo & Juliet

By William Shakespeare

I'm too jaded and gay to enjoy this -> every single character is so painfully stupid

tbh im just bitter that his (imo) better plays get less love than this one, its way over hyped

but I will give it points for boring me so much that I wrote my first fanfic (Romeo x Mercutio if you're curious ... no its not posted anywhere and it never will be <3)

sidenote -> Shakespeare plays I love incl:

Hamlet (duh im a depressed emo gay on Tumblr)

Macbeth (also duh, witches and female manipulator... need I say more)

Othello (a slow burn for the true crime girlies)

Measure for Measure (absolutely underrated, please please please look into this play -> I saw a production of it and it was incredible)

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clatterbane · 10 months

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New batch of pickles just dropped!

I had one big zucchini left that I didn't know if I'd get eaten up soon enough, so why not. It still feels very strange turning out a jar or two of pickles at a time, but that's apartment living for you. May as well work with what you've got.

Today that also included a big carrot, because why not.

The direction I decided to go in was pretty close to this:

Only, I also threw in one pretty generic pickling spice blend, hillbilly style. Mustard seed, peppercorns, a few allspice berries, red pepper flakes (before I remembered we have some whole chiles stashed in the freezer), bay leaf. That got sliced ginger and chopped frozen garlic, since I forgot we were out of fresh bulbs.

The turmeric is still sitting on the bottom there and hasn't colored the brine yet, btw.

A few green tea leaves have worked really well in the past for a touch of tannins to help keep things crispy, without adding any strange flavors. Here's hoping the leaf Assam black tea--which was the best option we had today outside of bags--won't get overpowering. I thought these pickles might be spiced enough for the tea not to overwhelm, but I guess we'll see.

Considering I am still not so used to working with the coarse salt we have, this time I did actually go ahead and get the weight of the combined veggies and water, to add 3% of that in salt. Weight to volume can vary an awful lot depending on the crystal size you're using, and may as well play it safe. IME summer squash can also be touchier than some other vegetables, so yeah.

I cut part of the carrot into sticks, to help hold those sliced vegetables down better under the Kilner pickling weight meant for a narrower mouthed jar. Wedged-in carrot can work pretty well to keep everything else from floating up to the surface of the brine and molding, even if you don't use a weight. One minor lifehack I figured out through some kitchen MacGyvering years ago.

Originally, I was planning to use one of those Kilner jars with an airlock lid--which won't fit anything else in the house 🙄--but the one I had out to use escaped to the floor and broke. (Leading to some fun cleanup last night, since it happened to be mostly full of some old dill pickles Mr. C made last year and promptly forgot about in a cabinet. I took it to dump the contents down a toilet, so thankfully the jar did meet its end on the tiled bathroom floor rather than wood. I am still getting whiffs of Swamp Pickle in there, though.)

Anyway, I said fuck it, and just grabbed one of my old trusty saved jars today. This one is actually from some Polish brine dills. An airlock provides some extra insurance against anything you don't want getting in, but basically any jar will work fine for fermented pickling. Just make sure everything is well covered with brine, leave the lid a little loose to avoid jarsplosions from the CO2, and you should be good to go.

And, going! Banished to one of the pantry cabinets for probably a couple of weeks. Definitely in a container to catch any brine overflow once it starts bubbling away, especially with no more headspace than I left in the jar. 😒

I am planning to check it periodically for the first few days, and also scoop out any floating bits of seasonings or anything else. Pieces of the sliced onion are already wanting to bob up around the edges of the weight, because of course they are.

#food #pickling #fermenting #clatterbane's pickle factory #slapstick edition #as usual #zucchini #carrots #zucchini pickles

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suiana · 9 months

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So to give to a little context first. I have a friend whom I met from my old online school. We have a enemies dynamic. We've each other for 2 years now. When we first met I was the one who talked the most, which he used to see as "annoying". Ever since I left the online school and became busy with my new irl school, I started messaging him less and when I do, he acts more and more nicer and chill than before. To the point he stared flirting with me but I always brushed it off as I also flirt with everybody. Did I forget to mention we are the complete opposite of each other. He's extremely introverted online while I'm literally just putting out my phone number for everyone to see. Irl tho I'm introverted and scared of people unlike him who suddenly has the ultimate rizz and getting into fights with other boys.

One time he messaged me while putting on his just as he got out if the shower. Lemme tell you I was dense af back then. He literally asked for shampoo recommendations. I didn't know anything about men's hygiene so I told him to use a flower scented shampoo. He left for 15mins which I thought was because he was drying his hair. No he was running to the store. He asked for which shampoo brand I use. I didn't want him to know that much about me so I said any sakura scented one.

Another time was when we were talking about a game we like and he thought about cosplaying the character I liked and I thought of it as just some teasing between friends and went along with it by saying I prefer the female characters.

I'm always questioning my sexuality so I'm always joking around that I'm gay and I think that's the reason why he hasn't been straight forward.

He started his own irl school last week and a girl kept looking back and forth at him and when he was about to go home she stopped him saying he could always ask her for help about studies and the school.

And again with a different girl but this time is his deskmate. Apparently every single girl he has met had asked him if he has a gf to which he responded with "not ur business" and I already knew something wasn't right at this point because I have seen his face before and he is mid. Sure ig some girls r into tall boys but he's a freaking emo.

And did I tell you about my suspicion about his deskmate not even being a real girl because the Coincidences if them being neighbors and having way too much in common is too suspicious. Did I also mention "her" personality is completely unreal. She says she's "not like the other girls" and HE him out of all people fricking agreed

And his description of her sounds exactly like me. Short wolfcut, gets mistaken as a boy, kinda tall. Even her behavior is like mine, Just randomly zoning out. And the last thing that completely threw me off guard was her grades. She's the Top of the class. I'm literally part of the student council.

But then I wanted to meet her too if she was comfortable with it but y know what he said.

Idk I can

He thinks I might accidentally hurt her feelings. He has known me for nearly 3 years.

And his response to me was

"Didnt mean it but since she has many mental issues and tried to suicide her self because of got bullied and mocked,i just don't want to makes her feel bad and depressed"

I relate to her so now im always telling him to protect her even if her stories might be worse than mine.

But now that I'm rethinking about it

I think he's lying to me

I heard getting advice from random strangers on the internet is better than getting actual help /j

I actually really like him and I don't have the courage to confront him directly about it

There's a very high chance I'm just being delusional and should continue being some wingman

But I don't have any other friends to tell this and I really need to get it off my chest and get other ppls opinions so I hoped I didn't make too many Grammer mistakes

don't worry about making grammar mistakes it's totally ok

u should subtly try to egg him on for answers

like asking what's Ur ideal type, what would u do if u date me, do u think we'll be more than just friends etc

if he hints that he does like u maybe u can shoot your shot lol haha, and don't be disheartened if he rejects u, there's plenty of fish in the sea :3

imo u probably have a good chance of getting that because he probably likes you ++ no guy I've seen would do such things for someone they just call a friend :)

I hope everything goes well for you bae and all the best

#suiana's sinners

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fuck-you-official · 1 month

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fuck you dad. fuck you for everything. fuck you for ruining my life. fuck you for being such a good respectable man when we all knew who you were. especially me and you. the both of us know that that facade is faker than the love you pretended to have for both me and mom. you only cared about yourself, and when something bad did actually happen to you, when your mother died and you expected us all to coddle you. the rest of them might've cared, but I didn't. not after the trauma you gave me at such a young age, i couldn't even process it and whether it was a dream or if you knew i wouldn't be able to differentiate that memory if it was real or not. id say fuck you to my mom for never noticing, but i've forgiven her. unlike you, she had something to grow and change from. you could only abuse the ones you love and say nothing or even deny it. she accepted her mistakes and knew she did something wrong but we all know that even if you did that for once in your life, who would ever forgive someone, even less someone they were supposed to love and trust, for ruining me and defiling me, selling my body out just to get yourself kicking. god save my mothers gut-wrenched soul for the fact that you manipulated her into making her believe every slippery lie that fell off your tongue, every excuse that you came up for yourself, every pin and pointing finger you threw at me to blame me. i love my mother so dearly, the fact that you would get angry at her for your own faults and whine like a man baby when she called you out on it makes me want you to take a nice visit to the ninth circle of hell. the years its taken me (and still taking me) to recover from your abuse. i can't ask for help easily, i can't speak up about my interests or thoughts without thinking of how people might think, i can barely stand in the same room next to an older man around your age without wanting to cry or shutdown. my mom can't even bring a man shes been talking to into the house without me shutting myself away and wanting him to leave. i love reading, but god forbid i try to imagine the image of big, rough, course hands without thinking that they were yours. you made me begin to form insecurities at the age of 6. i thought i was so ugly and weird because thats what daddy told me. you sexualized me so much, i began to question whether that was normal for most families. i asked friends at school, essentially asking "hey guys, does your dad tell you you're chest is growing in so well already or is that just me" and they were fucking concerned, and i didn't know better so i thought they were just judgemental. i thought everyone wrestled with their dad and tickled eachother and even did a little gropin here and there, hell everyone knows that tradition! /s

it's been 3 years since i moved. im forgetting your face, but im also forgetting my stepbrothers faces too. they were the one thing i loved about living there, i miss them both, and the fact you ruined my life to where i can never see them again makes me realize how much of a selfish prick you are. i hope all the fat in your body doesn't add fuel for the flames of hell you'll burn in. I've far moved on from the chapter of my life that had you in it, but are you ever really able to move on from an imprinted image in your mind that haunts you occasionally, reminding you why you're like this, telling you that you're the reason for both the cause and effect of your trauma? not really. when court decides to get off their ass and actually plan the court date for your charges, I will be there. and I'll be the last, sweet image you see before your soap dropping, bitch boy days in a cell. and when you die, ill cremate you so i can roll you into a joint and smoke you.

sincerely, the kid you never bothered to respect.

p.s wait till you find out how nicely they treat child predators in jail.

#vent post #ask to tag

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sclarflvre · 2 months

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hi x3. it's rae (she/they, 25+, cst) once again. my discord user is still available by request to whoever prefers that. anyway i'm the mun behind poe, haeoreum and joaquin. this little shit is yoosu and you can find his profile over here and his pinterest right here. if you leave me a like on this post i'll come around and plot with you! if you'd like to reach out first to plot with yoosu here i'd ask that you either dm me on discord or im me on my main account poe since i'd like to try and keep everything in one place.

ABOUT

yoosu here is a recovering spoiled rich boy, born with a pretty literal silver spoon in his mouth which means growing up he was kind of an entitled little shit

not everything was hunky dory in the kwon household though, see yoosu's parents pretty much never were happy with him. positive attention wasn't a thing it was just little nitpicks about how he could do better or be better or how someone else's son was doing better

yoosu did everything he could to fight for just a crumb of his parents' attention. it didn't really work though, and instead yoosu just learned that no matter what he did he was never good enough which left him chasing after his parents' idea of perfection for most of his life

yoosu began auditioning around rather young thinking that if he could be a celebrity of some kind maybe his parents would finally let up, so yeah...didn't get into an idol for the love of music even though he did later discover that he actually does love music anyway...his audition streak was not good it took him several very long years before he was accepted at canvas labs

being a trainee at canvas labs showed some of yoosu's worst traits, however. he was competitive to a fault and as he had been raised to believe that success was a limited concept and only given to a few "worthy" ones it meant that he was extremely hard to get along with as a trainee because he constantly worried that other trainees were somehow "after" him

life however kind of smacked him straight in the face because his parents eventually stopped communicating with yoosu writing him off in their heads as not their problem anymore. and with no friends around to try and help him pick up the pieces yoosu was left on his own to deal with the feelings of abandonment and anger

not long after that he was taken aside by one of he trainers and basically told if he didn't at least TRY to get along with the other trainees he was going to be cut for his attitude. these two things coinciding basically got yoosu to wake up and at least attempt to be pleasant, his results are kind of mixed as now more people get to see a softer side of him but he's still a competitive little shithead with anger issues so obviously people aren't into that

however, attempting to get along worked and yoosu was eventually granted a debut in newave, he's still on the mend from his previous entitled rich boy antics but he's much better now than he was back in 2020

PLOT IDEAS

yoosu's best friend in newave, their friendship is a bit unexpected because of yoosu being well....yoosu but ever since he's tried turning his life around he figured out that he actually really likes this person and in return they give him a little grace and some space to mess up sometimes

the guy that yoosu cannot get along with for even thirty seconds maybe it's something really serious between them where they get physical or maybe they're just too much alike and it causes bickering

"old friends" less so friends than just acquaintances, these are people who yoosu grew up with but is not necessarily very personal with at most their parents just threw them together for the reputation points

other idols in general or people around idols they can love him or hate him it really doesn't matter too much

anything you can come up with truly

#jongno:hello #oo1 ― 𝚢𝚘𝚘𝚜𝚞 • ( ooc )

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wujico · 2 months

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8 months. gone. i feel really selfish lol. here comes a trauma dump/ fun story :p around two years ago, my online best friend of (at the time) three years, suddenly up and blocked me out of nowhere, with no explanation. at the time, i was between friend groups and was completely friendless irl. (they had actually helped me leave my toxic friend group, promising i would have them if i left them). welp they lied and blocked me and didn't offer an explanation 😀😀 i was alone. i cut, i attempted multiple times, and i kept wondering what i did wrong. they blocked me, so i must have hurt them is what i told myself. that entire time i blamed it on myself: "this is why i have no friends" and "i'm the reason everyone leaves me". bla bla bla. basically i had to learn to live life without anybody while dealing with mental health problems and a bunch of undiagnosed shit. flash forward i think close to seven months??? i was getting dreams about them constantly during the time they blocked me; i would imagine they would come back and explain everything and i'd wake up crying when it wasn't true. rinse and repeat. but then i met my best friend irl .... they were the best thing that happened to me. i finally started to get over my other friends- including the one who blocked me. i went to therapy, i stopped cutting for a while etc etc etc wow i am going on and on about backstory that doesn't even matter. anyway, seven months later after i was finally beginning to heal (my green blocked number texts turned from "im so sorry i hurt you" to "fuck you".) well... suddenly they unblocked me. i had the worst panic attack of my life, cut myself, went into a state where i couldnt tell if it was another dream. but.. im a people pleaser by nature. i said it was fine (it wasnt). i told them they didnt hurt me (they did) i agreed we could start over. that was back in 2022.... its been a bit now. we've met up irl (my first time flying alone whoooo). we've gotten in a qpr..things are better! and i really love them. but anyway, tonight they sent me a full ass document of what really happened when they were gone / what lead up to them cutting me off. it was.... a painful read. mostly because they went through so much trauma, pain and manipulation which i wont say here because its bad and its a lot. so thats why i feel selfish!! because even tho theyre sharing this with me, i can only think about pain i went through when they left me so suddenly. i also found out they left me because one of their new friends thought i was a bad person. they threw out all the gifts i ever got for them, they didnt even give me one text for an explanation. i thought they fucking died at first. i even found out that they were purposly distancing themself from me months before they even blocked me- all because of this new friend. they picked that friend over me... so i feel hurt. is that bad? i feel like a bad person. anyway lol i just found out after they blocked their bad friend ... they came crawling back to me. i dont know... it feels like i was just a rebound– they had nothing so they went to someone they knew would give them everything if they asked for it– me.

i just found this all out and read about all their trauma. i dont deserve to even feel upset about this but i am. im so selfish. btw for content, their friend and them blocked me and thought i was bad because "deities" from their "desired reality" (yes they were shifters) told them i was a bad person. (they even asked their pendulum about me!!! 😃😃😃)

so yeah abyway thats my trauma dump for the day since i cant talk to anyone about it

I AM SO SORRY IF YOU READ THROUGH THIS ALL

#storytime #mental illness #depressing shit #digital diary #send help #im dying #im gonna die

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newathens · 2 years

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oh my god, you’re the first person I’ve seen say anything negative about Will (idk how popular Will actually is bc I’m not super involved in the fandom despite loving pjo more than anything bc I kinda hate it there) but thank you, I thought I was alone in my mild dislike/apathy towards him!

Nico is one of my favorite characters from pjo and I want to be excited for the new book so bad but I can’t help but be worried that the Will and Nico relationship is gonna end up being like a main focus, and I just cannot bring myself to care about it bc I do not care about Will

I feel like this is part of a larger problem that Rick has where he seems to think that every character needs a romantic interest no matter how shallow or rushed the connection they have is, this is especially prevalent in hoo imo (one of the many reasons why I think it’s the worst series of the group) which is where Nico and Will as a couple are first set up

If Rick had bothered to give them even a little bit of build up for their relationship then maybe I would like them more but he didn’t, he just threw them together, gave them a couple of cute (ig) scenes together and then suddenly they’re dating, which doesn’t even make sense for Nico’s character imo, also this is just a personal thing ig but I really do not think they’re personalities go well together or that Nico would actually like Will all that much but idk

Anyway sorry for the rant I’ve just never been able to get these feelings out before lol

don’t apologize! im glad to be able to give u a response haha

dislike for will was a lot more prevalent a few years ago. time and fall in popularity of pjo on here got rid of that; also i think pjo twt has some weird obsession with him. you’re not alone in your dislike! his fan service-ness radiates off him in waves. when BoO came out i was shocked hearing about them becoming a thing. it never made sense and many of the scenes i’ve come across between them in that book feels forced.

their relationship in trials of apollo is a bit better but that’s only cause riordan has more time to develop them; there are still many points in ToA that feel weird or cringe-ish. to me at least will comes off as a mama bear, in a bad way. i’d say this is because nico seems to be handled more childishly by the author than he did in pjato and will happens to be the conveyor of that.

will could have been given some substance by having a more present role in apollo’s storyline, but unfortunately that didn’t happen.

i could keep going on and on but everything you’ve said is absolutely right and i understand your feelings in concern to the nico book. i’d say go into it looking for things you enjoy and always hold out the hope to be pleasantly surprised. we really don’t know what this book is going to hold anymore—personally im hoping for a titan vs titan fight!

#pjo

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wazabii · 1 year

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part 2 meet and fuck

she didn't notice the gaze for the past 10 mins

a/n pov

'its been years..... wonder when im getting out ? screw youmother for selling me as a test subject to that evil witch! oh? OH? i havent go hard for the past 69 years! is someone actually reading the passage out loud? dammit, cant even jack off with these chains around my hand....'

shinchiro bucked his hips up into the air, he continued to air fuck himself but it wasn't working. slowly and almost unnoticeably, the handcuffs that seals dark magic disintegrated in to the void , anothe unnoticable thing was his surroundings, he was on the floor of the dainty bookshop.

"What the fuck?" only then did the prince come out of his trance.

y/n was staring at the demon's cock like it was the last piece of meat on earth. She wanted a good fuck but her boyfriend broke up with her before she walked to the bookshop. Thank god he did, Shinchiro;'s length was like no other, way better compared to her puny human ex's one. It was HUGE. There was also a lil bit of scales on the underside of the demon's cock.

its like her hand had a mind of its own, she couldnt stop herself

"AAHhn~ don't do that~"

heavenly. Yeah thats it. Ironic isnt it? for a demon to be called heavenly?

"what's your name?"

"Sh-Shinc-chiro"

"Y/n"

"hey you wouldn't mind if you lent me your dick tonight right?"

'hell i wouldn't mind if you keep it-'

Hearing the lewd words from the seemingly innocent man you really coldnt help yourself and stating to slowly pump him. It didn't help that he looked like he didn't know he blurted it out either.

"really baby?"

your once sweet honey voice dropped into a raspy mommy voice, Shinchiro's knees weren't working and he fell to his knees.

"AHHHna~ha YEssss"

only pumping him makes him weak, what would actually riding him feel like?

so you started to drag him up by the hair and once he was standing, you knelt down as slow as you can and started to give his inhumane dick kitten licks.

"y/nNNnn"

having been pent up and blue balled fo 69 years, it didnt take that long for Shinchiro to come undone. And boy did he look like a Greek god in this angel.

Pink tipped dick that was still standing tall after the gush of lust, v line that blended in perfectly. The classic movie waffle abs, and full jay park chest. A new triangle has been discovered as his thrown back head shows the underside of his jaw. And ebony hair sticking to the side of his face and slightly falling back.

should you let your new pet rest? yeah.

but will you do itt? nah.

hooking your arms behind his squishy ass, you took the man down to the floor and straddle him. he was impatient, and tore your pants and threw them across the store. Only the smell of your sweet honey filled his mind right now.

He was whining like a puppy so sweet but you knew this was all just a façade. What lies beneath the mask that hides his dark and unworthy self. Kinky, Sex monster.

Carrasing his face you whispered sweet nothings into his ears until

'SLAP'

" you disrespect me one more time and you'll get something more that just a slap"

" yes master"

Shinchiro has nver felt this way. Back in hell, women threw themselves at him, letting him use their bodies as toys , and letting him succumb into his pleasure. Never once has a women tried to dominate him, and god, DOES HE FEEL TURNED ON!

Taking his cock into your leaking entrance, you slowly sunk yourself down, it hurts like a bitch sure, but soon after, the pain became pleasure.

@yowaimobitch for you ;)))

ima just end it here ig there will be a part 3 ;)))

#shinchiro sano #sub tokyo revengers #shinchiro x reader #sub boy shin #sub tokrev #shinchiro #sexy y/n;)#wazabii

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arillusionist · 7 months

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shadow and bone season 1 episode 6 reactionnnnnn!! also i finished the first s&b book (it was so short compared to soc 💀💀), and i've started reading the next

nina is a spy for the darkling?? interesting..

ok but can they please show nina in this episode its been too long 😭😭

theyre gonna kill him right

yeah (god bless i never liked him anyways 🙏)

fuck if she gets out then kaz wont believe jesper about her being with them all along and he'll beat his ass

oh nvm

crows and alina meeting hell yeahhh 🔥🔥🔥

stop i so badly wanted for inej to say sankta alina or smth like that so they could be friends ☹️☹️

nina mention!!!

matthias mention!!!!

Yessss i am getting her in this episode!!!

yayy theres zoya screen time too!! they really gotta show more of her shes such an interesting character

oh my god wait... he probably made out with zoya and manipulated her too before alina came along..

hes such a hoe hes literally a pedophile too cuz isnt alina like 17??

nina looked so hot in that scene tell me im wrong (you cant)

ugh i think this was the scene in the book where mal came 🙄🙄 but then again after reading the book i've realized that show mal is SO much better i should appreciate him

yeah i was right

stop not nina saying that and literally gawking at his abs afterward 💀💀

everything ab this scene is so awkward i literally cant

aughh the crows finally its been 17903280 years

oh my god if kaz doesnt tell inej later this season or something what he gave up for her im gonna die but i also know its much more realistic if he doesnt 😭😭

them going from a kanej scene where theyre not communicating properly to a malina scene where they do comminute is so CRUEL ☹️☹️

isnt this the scene where the kiss

i dont even care for them but the tension is killing me wtf just do it already

helink are so funny when theyre tryna be enemies

hdhfhfkf i remember that line from the book!! nina is the best 🔥🔥

stop theyre so cute

i hope the darkling and kaz meet... emo boy battle who will win (we all know who)

inej fight scenes are literally the best hello

so are jespers even tho it wasnt really a "fight" scene

oh my god this really is like that one line "a suli girl who became a killer" once she did it for the first time shes js gonna keep doing it (as she should inej can do whatever she wants)

HELP EMO BOY BATTLE i was right

haha ik kaz would win 🔥🔥 stop the darkling must be so embarassing rn that literally some random ass criminal was able to escape him

do they have to show his wounds so close up ew

nina and matthias are actually so cuteauhdhf

stoppp i got so scared for a second there that he was gonna drop her

INEJ NOO ☹️☹️

that one shot of kaz you know what im talking about

wait hello isnt the book that guy threw at jesper shadow and bone??

malina angst is always like. 2 seconds long

i feel like every episode theres less and less of the crows and that makes me so sad 💔 i wish i could have more hope for the spinoff

#shadow and bone #grishaverse

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thecagedbirdsingsoffreedom · 1 year

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What was supposed to be a two day trip ended up being five.

I had the strangest talks with M.

We had some awkward moments, too.

I don't think he's used to the space I put around me.

I could tell it really threw him off.

I don't think I'm used to it either, to be honest.

We've always been so touchy, it's so natural. I've always been a physical person. I enjoyed it and welcomed it.

It was strange for me when I realized I had something around me now. Something that doesn't permit others to touch me quite so easily anymore, not even my boys.

I noticed it first at E's.

But M and I had never held back so much before. There was no reason, too, we knew what and how much.

And yet here it was, ever present.

I couldn't fully relax until I'd gone back into the room.

I spent hours buried in his sheets, bathing in his perfumes and soaps and smells.

I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave you and those four walls.

The last three days M and I talked.

We talked so much.

We're so broken. Something is broken now.

And she didn't, isn't, helping him at all.

I was so mad. She who could offer him such uncondifional comfort without restraint and measure was only making it worse for him.

I was upset for a long time.

Upset that I'd lost my person. Upset that I knew, deep down, that I will never have this again in my life. It's not me being dramatic either.

This was a bond 30 years in the making. This was a person who grew up with me and knew me so well. Took the time to know me. The kind of knowledge that can only come from time and experiences.

Losing that has overwhelmed me. Lately, anything that isn't anger or frustration or despair isn't at the forefront anymore.

My feelings feel so muted. Like they're a sound stuck behind a wall. I know that they're there, I can hear them, but they're so muted and drowned that Im not sure if I can actually feel them anymore.

I'm not sure what I am anymore.

I don't know if I'm upset. I don't know if I'm anything.

But it was blatantly obvious that M wasn't M anymore. I wonder if this is what E meant when he said my energy was different.

It was so plain to see.

It was so clear to my eyes what he hid behind smiles and laughs.

I'm glad I didn't have to pretend around him either.

He called me on my bullshit the moment he laid eyes on me.

I'm glad he said it.

It spared me the trouble of even trying.

And I'm relieved he recognized it for what it was and just took me in without giving me any lectures what so ever. That's more of E's domain, anyway.

I'm glad he said his piece though. It took us getting drunk as fuck to 1) fall asleep on the floor and 2) sleep together.

At least now I know I'll welcome touch while shit faced.

I didn't want him to hold me, but I could tell he needed the contact. He probably needed it more than I do.

And he could cry.

I'm so glad he can still cry.

I wouldn't wish these muted feelings on anyone. I wish I could have cried too.

But that's how we spent the rest of night. Curled in each other. Getting comfort for very different and yet similar reasons.

I don't know if I came back better or not.

I still choke thinking about you.

I'll probably still stay up at night wondering, reminiscing.

Like I am right now.

Que bueno que no estas aqui.

Como nos hubieras chingado...

But we miss you.

We miss you.

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crowning-art · 1 year

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TGCF SPOILERS

-------------------------------------------------------------

ok, ok Ok OK

OK I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY FOR TODAY'S READ OH MY GOD WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE HELL WHAT EVEN

ok no, let's get through this calmly EFNOENFOEINF I DUNNO HOW I"LL DO THAT BUT OK

YALL NO WAY NO WAY

NO FREAKING WAY

HE DID IT!!! THE RED STEING OF FATE!! MY MAN'S NOT ONLY PULLED UP THE STRING, BUT TIED IT HIMSELF AROUND XIE LIAN'S FINGER

I AM SKREICHING RJFNFJF UGH I CANT EVEN SPELL IM LOSING MY MIND RN

On the third finger of his left hand was a very thin red string, and it was Hua Cheng who had personally tied it on him. This red string also extended out, long and ceaselessly connecting with the red string knotted around Hua Cheng’s finger.

Hua Cheng raised his own hand and showed him the tiny red butterfly knot that was now identical on both their fingers. He smiled.

“Now we’re joined together.

HE TOOK FATE IN HIS OWN HANDS AND CHOSE HIS OWN SOULMATE OH MY GOD DJXJXJCJXJNC

But then, to crush my spirits....

This string won’t break, and won’t grow shorter. If the string doesn’t break, then it means the person on the other end is alright. Unless the person is no more, otherwise, this string will for sure lead to the other.”

“What do you mean ‘no more’?” Xie Lian asked.

“Dead, or dissipated,” Hua Cheng explained

I dunno why but I don't like the implications of this....Hua Cheng MY BOI MY PAL I SAW FANART OF YOU BECOMING A LITTLE GHOST OR SMT I DUNNO U BETTER NOT BREAK THIS STRING DONT U DARE MAKE THIS FORSHADOWING

Heheheh live reaction of me reading this section:

Just then, a hand suddenly stretched out, seizing his wrist without fault. Xie Lian was alarmed.

“WHO?!”

The moment he opened his mouth it was filled with a mouthful of mud, and he spat it out miserably. As for that hand, it clutched him and pulled, pulling him into someone’s arms, a familiar voice coming from above his head.

“Gege, it’s me!”

Hearing that voice, Xie Lian’s entire person relaxed. He hugged the other tightly, blurting,

“…Thank goodness, the red string didn’t break. I really did find you!”

Hua Cheng also embraced him back tightly, speaking with conviction, “It didn’t break! I’ve found you too.”

‐-------------

Ok FUN TIMES ARE OVER NOW GOODBYE CUTESY STUFF WELCOME DREADFUL AND TRAGIC STUFF

Me reading Yin Yu and Qi Ying's story:

So first of all, BABY QI YING IS SO DAMN CUTE?? AND FOR WHAT????? all like YA LETS FIGHT!! and he's raising his itty bitty cutie patootie little fists and he's acc so adorable oh my god

Yin Yu took a look at the child sitting on the ground, and he crouched down. Before he even opened his mouth, this little child scooped a handful of mud and threw it at his face, his expression still excited.

Ok, this line deserves a whole essay

There must be “fanaticism” towards something before one can achieve a state of “godly”.

Like that absolute truth of the matter?? The obsession one has with anything makes them go into such nitty gritty details and observe patterns that others would overlook simply on account of FANATICISM, yknow? And it's so explicitly seen in everything from master chefs to world renowned artists to the most brilliant of scientists. Truly to be a master, you must have a madness and obsession for the craft first.

Truly one of my favorite lines in the book so far

Haha when I read this part, I had a mental image of Xie Lian and Hua Cheng sitting in a theater eating popcorn and Xie Lian is like ohhhhhh can we watch this part too lmao

Watching up to this point, Xie Lian commented, “People really shouldn’t joke lightly.”

“Indeed,” Hua Cheng said. “Half a year later when Quan Yizhen actually ascends, he won’t find it so funny anymore.”

“Can we watch that part too?” Xie Lian asked.

“We can. Hold on,” Hua Cheng replied.

This was kinda cute but I guess knowing everything now, just kinda sad...

Xie Lian had also heard that Yin Yu, as shixiong, would always gift Quan Yizhen a present on his birthdays.

ABSOLUTE MOOD JIAN YU LMAOOOOO

He called out to Jian Yu, “Help me find something, quick, something that can temporarily be used as a gift.”

Jian Yu grabbed a rag cloth and threw it onto the ground. He stomped at it twice before saying hatefully, “Give this to him."

Ok but I'm seeing such a contrasting yet parallel relationship between beefleaf and Qi Ying and Yin Yu. I will probably talk about that more next time because it's a lot lol but like this is such an excellent example of it (that I will explain later lmao)

Yin Yu’s smile became stiffer. What he couldn’t take on, Quan Yizhen took on so effortlessly.

This was very much like a situation where you just couldn’t win over a girl you loved, and she ignored you completely, but when she ran into the arms of someone else in tears, this someone else couldn’t even be bothered to spare her a look and instead turned around to tell you how she was only average, nothing to be amazed by. Truly, what a bitter feeling.

God yes I truly understood exactly how Xie Lian felt because it was so agonizing and awkward to watch everything go down between the oblivious Qi Ying and the slowly maddening Yin Yu....

And like the part where he tells him GO DIE and everything that happened after and the instant regret and broken feeling Yin Yu went through and just he gave and gave and gave and gave and got nothing while Qi Ying got everything and more and frustration of watching him act like nothing happened because suddenly it makes YOU look like you're the jerk and that youre just being over dramatic and the absolute hate that started festering simply on account of outside influence from the other disciples and later on, the heavenly court (or maybe outside influence was just an excuse and the problem lay dormant within) and to have your hubris and jealousy and pride ruin what was good or so you thought and suddenly you go back and think about all the past memories and it's like wait, was it ever good a-

Ok I'll stop lol

Quan Yizhen was still very confused. He looked back and saw Yin Yu sitting on the ground, so he crawled to stand up, seeming to want to help him up. Seeing that completely oblivious face matched with a background of his smashed divine palace, Yin Yu was still silent but his face was slowly contorting.

Quan Yizhen didn’t know what transpired at all, and asked, “Shixiong, what are you doing?”

“…”

It was like Yin Yu suddenly lost all sanity. He puffed an abrupt laugh, then shouted with eyes brimming red:

“GO DIE!”

I just... really feel for both parties, yknow? And back to classic statement I keep saying, who can u even blame? Whose at fault? Nothing is black and white here, it never was and never will be....

ALSO

I called it

I CALLED IT

I CALLED IT AND I FINALLY GOT SMT RIGHT FOR ONCE AND IM SO HAPPY BUT SO CONFUSED BUT SO HAPPY CUZ I GOT IT RIGHT HAHA I KNEW WE WOULD SEE MORE XIANLE PEEPS DJJXJC

He twitched his lips and muttered without a sound, “Guoshi?!”

The person on the other side of the stone wall had the exact same voice as the esteemed master who once taught him in the Kingdom of Xianle.

But also....WTF???? UMMM WHY IS HE HERE??? WHATS GOING ON???? IS MY WUYONG THEORY CORRECT??? I DONT EVEN KNOW WHICH ONE BUT IS IT CORRECT??? CUZ LIKE JUN W-

(Fineeee i won't speak of Jun Wu again, but like alsooooo he's sooooo a part of something I can't help it and I just don't know what it is AND ITS BOTHERING ME BEYOND WORDS)

#tian guan ci fu #tgcf spoilers #tgcf #heaven's official blessings spoilers #hua cheng #xie lian #heaven’s official blessings #tgcf journey #yin yu #quan yizhen #ch 158-162

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