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dysfunctionaltrolls · 4 years

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i feel bad for making this but i feel like i have to

baby’s first call out post

anyway,, i have some things id like to say. i have proof of all of this and it will all be under the cut. this is gonna be really long and im really sorry but its going to be the whole story so stick with me

content warning: being weird towards minors, general nsfw elements, general creepiness, weed (mentions of being high).

everyone involved except for myself and, obviously, them, will have their names blocked out for privacy reasons.

thank you for reading this in advance, i just really need to get this out.

the blog in question is @ask-crappy-fantrolls

in advance

please do not send this person hate. please. i dont care whos wrong or right, hate anons arent necessary.

lets get down to business

point one of ??: ships

im going to say right off the bat, i agreed to some of these. some of these i liked. a lot i agreed to because i was afraid to say no because i didnt want to upset them. some were forced on me. some were made without my knowledge. i will not go into specifics on which ships belong in which categories unless its necessary because this post would be extremely long, but please keep this in mind if you see me reacting positively in screenshots.

this screenshot shows me trying to break off all of our ships the first time. i say right down there at the bottom that i want all of them gone. i thought i was being pretty clear.

one of my trolls (kaivin) has a moirail to whom he is extremely attached. this isnt a secret. he is so attached, in fact, that the two share most quads. so anyone kaivin would get into a relationship with, his moirail would as well. ive posted about this many times and i believe its on his bio but dont quote me on that.

this is me trying to cut the ship off again. i really hate being mean and hurting peoples feelings so i was trying stay polite and let them know gently that hey, i dont want this. keep in mind, this took place after me attempting to cut all of our ships off.

i could put more here but im tired and itd make the post longer than it needs to be. bottom line, i got messaged about ships a lot even though i had cut them all off and literally started shipping with other people by that point. it wasnt a secret, i was posting about new ships.

small tidbit thats very nsfw: one of our ships that we had was purely for their kink, apparently.

for context: axel is my human disguised as a troll who lives on alternia.

literally if you look at cimefas bio, his whole character is just that hes kinky. thats it.

point two of ??: infantalizing me

if you dont know already; hi im joey, im 19, and im a trans man. i am an adult. a grown ass man, if you will. i do not tolerate being spoken to like a dog or a child.

with that being said, here i am being spoken to like someone would a dog or a child:

oh also theres the time they sent me an ask calling me a lesbian HDSFJKSDHF

heres that

i know it was them because they messaged me the same day, claiming not to have known, but we’d already been talking for months and i never went by she/her while having this blog. he/him is all over my blog.

anyway heres a tidbit thats not big enough for its own point but needs to be said: the flirting.

^i just wanted to show them my new shirt :/

anyway next

point three of ??: being weird with minors

okay this bit is very gross but stay with me

right there, no minors. clearly stated. thats fine! thats whatever!! heres what i have the issue with. theyre currently waiting for a few of my friends who are minors to turn 18. no, this is not a speculation. they stated this.

i am keeping minors names blocked out, they dont need to be involved in this.

(quad blocked out so the minor cant be pinpointed)

(different minor, quad blocked again)

(the minor in question is the one from the first two screenshots about “waiting for them to turn 18″)

for context, this was after i reblogged a post about people waiting for minors to turn 18 being gross. yes it was a vague, no i do not care. i didnt say anything to them, they came to me about this unprompted and on their own accord. if the shoe fits, i suppose.

point four of ??: copying

theres been a few instances of this, but heres the main one

i run a cool blog over at @broadcastappear. i got with a friend of mine and they made theirs one day, i made mine the next. of course, i was excited about this! i wanted to tell everyone about my cool new blog, so i started messaging people! them included!

before i get into the screenshots, here is the premise of both of our broadcast blogs:

slightly odd radio host trolls who talk to each other over the radio waves. my friends troll for their blog is crazy and stuck in the desert, mine is slightly less crazy and stuck in an apartment. shenanigans and extremely cryptic flirting ensue.

so i messaged them with a link to my blog after i made it.

take a closer look at that time stamp!

keep this in mind

i get sent a link

its a cryptic radio blog. same concept, formatting, plot, everything.

and would you look at that

same day. it was an hour later, actually.

they were confronted about this and denied that their blog had anything to do with ours, even though it was a clear rip off. their blog has since been deleted, i believe.

anyway, in conclusion, i just really wanted this off my chest.

do with this information what you will. i dont care if i get hate for this, the people who know my situation know how badly this has been on me mentally. ive been archiving things in a server for months while ive been trying to cut them off and im just... fed up. i cant do it anymore. i feel gross. i am the main hub that this is circling around and no one can say thing about it but me. theres a lot more to this that im not adding, mostly because theres less proof but i still know it to be true.

im tired of adults being weird and nasty in this community. i know im an adult too but at least im not gross.

anyway, call out post over. rb or smthn i dont care.

#ask-crappy-fantrolls #discourse #drama #call out #sorry im just trying to hit all the tags #this took a lot out of me to write #ask to tag #im not good w confrontation so im gonna hit post then go hide somewhere

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jincherie · 5 years

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Idk why but I can’t seem to find your blog when I search for it I have to click on notifs from you

Anonymous said: hey rha! how are you? i wanted to re-read your wanted series but my tumblr app is crashing 😭 idk if it's the masterlist link or this godforsaken mobile app but now i can't even go read any of your stories :(

killer-toxicity said: Im so sad. For some reason my tumblr keeps crashing everytime I open your masterlist or follow a link!

Anonymous said: Hi Rha! I’m gonna send you a better message later but I wanted to let you know this ASAP!! Apple has deleted tumblr off of the App Store, and bc of that, tumblr is freaking out and deleting nsfw blogs. Artists have been affected, but I’m not sure if nsfw writing blogs have been taken down as well. I wanted to let you know just in case! -thfj anon 💛

ugh tumblr rlly just had a whole plethora of problems surface up huh!!! re the searching thing, i tried it for myself and had the same problem when i first received the ask. it didnt show up in normal search, but it did when i disabled safe search. I tried again just now and it showed up once more in search results without having to disable safe search so you’ll have to tell me if thats still a problem of sorts!

and ugh im not sure what I can do to help this one, but my usual solution is to try opening the blog in your mobile browser (chrome, safari, etc). its a little less convenient but good when you’re just wanting to read!! its a looks a little more complex for things like reblogging but works just the same to be honest!

and !!!! ughghgbfhbdjb thank u so much!!! i found out more around the time u sent that last one lmao,,, this hellsite rlly be out here devolving that rapidly huh?? im yelling dkfjndkbhfjgb. I’m gonna answer the rest of the asks in my inbox then rb my navigation post and remove the links from my bio temporarily!! i really hope tumblr gets it together soon bc I’d be rlly upset if i had to move platforms :/ there’s nothing else quite like this, you know?? ugh anyWAY i hope ur all doing well despite this whole kerfuffle!! just gotta keep our chins up, i suppose!!!

#thfj anon #thirsty hoe for jimin anon #killer toxicity #i know johobi's blog got taken down but dont know enough of the details abt it #im djkbfjb #this is such a M E S S LMAOOO #anon #ask

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lunarssong · 6 years

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quick little summary/title: this started out as a rant but if you scroll down to the large bold, there’s a metaphor that should hopefully help explain why terfs are so god damn awful and dangerous

me? sending an ask off-anon to a terf because im both pissed and a fucking dumbass? its more likely than youd think

in fact! im not even gonna censor the word terf! if i dont feel like dealing with their bullshit replies and rbs then i literally just fucking wont!! yeah they might send in death threats but guess the fuck what?? im leaving my anon on fuckers, because honestly that shits gonna be funny to me! and if they try to doxx me (very unlikely, but i am trans and its not riskier to mention that because its already obvious, and ive never directly made a post about terfs before, so i really dont know whats gonna happen) or something then like! im a minor! we can sue those shitheads and hopefully bring more media awareness to how god damn shitty terfs are! literally dont even start, lmao.

have the damn ask because i wanna elaborate on it

“hi there! i wish you’d delete your tumblr, because you are dangerous. you are a violent misogynist, and make me ashamed to be a feminist.

you’re gonna attack me because i’m off anon, but you’d probably call me a coward if i was on it, lmao.

anyway! stop disguising your misogyny and transphobia with shitty ass ‘feminism’. i was raised by a feminist with a feminist mom who literally can’t believe y’all exist because your ideas are SO far from actual feminism.

just say you hate trans people and go.”

tbh? its so fucking wild to me how they literally spit out misogyny, transphobia, and lesbophobia but then get all pissy when someone calls them out on it,, but then have the nerve to accuse that person of being misogynistic and lesbophobic? like,, honey. honey, what? the fuck? how much of a dumbass are you?

because like. im a pretty big dumbass! like ive walked into a mirror before because i thought it was a door! im a dumbass!

but even i know that trans women literally cannot discriminate against cis women by saying that theyre (plural, but trans women can 100% use they and thats totally valid) women! because guess the FUCK what?? theyre fucking women! if yall shitheads (terfs) wanna call that misogyny then yall cant call yourselves women either!

if yall assholes wanna call a specific group of lesbians/wlw pointing out, “hey! we experience discrimination because of an entirely irrelevant physical feature we all happen to share that has literally no actual affect on whether or not we are women/wlw” lesbophobia or speaking over minorities then wow.

wow.

wow, are yall gonna be shocked when (if) you realize what the hell yall doing that qualifies as.

oppressors literally depicting and/or committing fucking hate crimes, sometimes even as serious as murder, rape, etc. (this is referring to terfs, i should never have to point that out) is NOT comparable to an oppressed as hell minority saying that people who literally want them dead should not be in safe spaces intended for people of a community they both happen to belong to.

to put this into perspective for yall out there literally worse than garbage (terfs)! imagine this scenario.

youre in a community of women. trans women may or may not be a part of this particular community, shut the fuck up, thats irrelevant. a group of straight women pop up, and start saying that being wlw is misogynistic and harmful to women. this is bullshit. you know that immediately. why wouldn’t it be? you explain to them the obvious reasons why it is not. they ignore you.

they begin to spew utter bullshit, claiming things like “women should never marry other women. you’re ignoring the fact that a man’s place is as a woman’s wife, and basically trying to be men, which is like admitting that men are superior.” or, “as straight women, you flaunting your homosexuality,” the woman gestures to a lesbian couple who aren’t even holding hands and haven’t been touching the whole time theyve been there. one has a small rainbow heart sticker on her purse. “makes me feel threatened in my femininity. (insert plural of 4 letter slur against lesbians that i dont feel comfortable typing a single letter of) arent really women, their existence is heterophobia and misogyny. they shouldn’t be allowed in female-only spaces because they normalize masculinity.”

over time, this group of straight women grows. they call themselves feminists, claim theyre fighting for the rights of all women! unless those women happen to love other women and dont perfectly fit their (cisnormative too but terfs are awful so they like that) heteronormative idea of a woman. they protest at the very idea of saying “significant others”, “partners”, or even “wives and/or husbands” because it doesnt fit their idea of being a woman. because they think having a wife and loving women is only for men.

eventually, they start getting braver and braver. they start going to feminist rallies, and if they spot gay women, or even women they think look gay, theyll get up in their faces, threaten them, call them slurs. theyll try to record them, try to get them fired from their jobs or outed to unsupportive families. or even just expose them to the potential of assault in their day-to-day life. because theyre gay. and that doesnt affect the straight women at all, but they hate diversity and are homophobes. so they need an excuse.

sometimes theyll get their other gay-exclusive feminist friends to record them committing violent acts against wlw feminists, just to take stills from those videos out of context when the gay women defend themselves, and then go crying to the media, twisting the roles of victim and aggressor to paint a violent picture of wlw. they say that feminist rallies should be an event only for real women or allies to their cause—meaning, to them, no wlw, and certainly no mlm. they probably even try to turn all homophobia towards gay men into a sexism issue (they are sometimes tied, but not mostly). but they lose their shit when anyone tries to tell them to get out of these safe spaces for women, because by attacking wlw for literally nothing beyond existing, they are ruining the safe part.

people start to become ashamed to call themselves feminists, and are often lumped in with these homophobes. even if they themselves are gay. straight feminists who love, support, and fight for wlw begin to feel guilty for being straight. new labels for feminist ideology begin popping up, the gay-exclusive feminists strike them down and turn them into jokes.

their end goal is to reverse victories like gay marriage, remove gay representation both in the media and in history books (sometimes even arguing that famous wlw were ‘just close friends’ with their wives or girlfriends), and to send wlw right back to hiding and marrying men for fear of their lives.

all in the name of thinly veiled homophobia feminism!

but wait, you cry, that sounds nothing like feminism! it actually sounds like misogyny and homophobia!

exactly!

think about who yall are the real-life equivalent of in that scenario.

need a hint because youre so brainwashed? try changing ‘gay/wlw’ to ‘trans’, ‘straight’ to ‘cis’, and ‘gay-exclusive’ to ‘terf’.

i doubt any of them will actually read through this, let alone realize their flawed perspective due to it, but hey. maybe ill sway some people who’re on the fence about how horrible terfs are.

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mrfutureboy · 6 years

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Favourite avengers movies scenes? Favourite iron man movies scenes?

hi there! i’m sorry this took so long it’s always so hard to pick faves! thank you for coming by

Avengers:-when ac/dc starts playing on the quinjet nat’s piloting and we hear tony go “you miss me?”-steve beating the shit out of that bag-the shawerma credit scene (i still dont know how to spell that like ive seen the common spelling of shawarma but theres a restaurant on campus that has it spelled with the e and i just dont know bc autocorrect always puts the red line)-the fight scene between thor tony and steve-this isnt a scene but the low angle shot of thor when all the avengers are arguing by the scepter when he says “you humans are so petty…and tiny”-the 12% scene with pepper and tony-”so thats what it does”-i love but hate “son, just don’t”-the scene with loki in germany (i think) and he’s forcing everyone to kneel and that one man stands up and loki’s like “theres no man like me” and the dude’s like “there are always men like you”-the scene where natasha SCAMS the plan out of loki-ok this doesnt “”count”” but the blooper where mark ruffalo’s like “you guys are on your own!” and runs away-”that man is playing galaga! thought we wouldn’t notice, but we did!”-also [SPOILERS] rip-that whole scene with tony out there is Good-”how does fury see these things?” “he turns” “when did you become an expert in theoretical astrophysics?” “last night”-when tony’s trying to find out what bruce’s secret is to being calm-also i lowkey love the scene between nat and bruce when she’s recruiting him, tho i hate that joss took that and was like “romance?”

Age of Ultron:-I didn’t like aou so this is gonna be short-the scene where everyone is trying to lift the hammer is THE BEST SHIT joss whedon’s ever done for me-when tony calls clint’s kids “smaller agents”-when steve and nat are talking about “where else am i gonna get a view like this”-steve thor and tony talking about putting mjolnir in an elevator, and the way steve says “elevator’s not worthy”-everybody just looked really good in this movie I know that’s not a scene but it’s the only reason I ever think about watching aou again

Iron Man:-”next time, you ride with me”-that whole SCENE when rhodey finds tony like gahhhh my heart-speaking of these two, when theyre drunk on the plane and there are literally strippers right in front of them but they’re not even paying attention to them-the reunion between tony and pepper too like “tears for your long lost boss?”-THIS MOVIE is where rdj starts that sniffle thing that tony does and that means a lot to me-the scene where tony’s reading a newspaper and pepper’s getting him ready and he starts talking about “if i had a girlfriend”-the scene in the fun-vee before it all goes to shit and theyre just taking selfies-the scene with yinsen dying is heartbreaking bc he had said to tony earlier that he was going to see his family, but yinsen dies and we realize that yinsen’s family’s DEAD and so him dying was the PLAN-the whole thing with yinsen having met tony before becomes more heartbreaking after actually seeing their meeting in im3 even tho it wasnt a super like, emotional moment in 1999. it just made it more concrete i guess-edit i came back to add this i cant believe that i forgot to mention the FACT that pepper saved tony’s ass? like SHE’S the one who found out about what obadiah was doing!!-also the scene when he and tony are fighting and tony flies him wayyy high into the atmosphere and is like “so how’d you fix the ice problem?” and then obie’s like huh? and then he’s fucking plummeting back down to earth

Iron Man 2:-when tony’s complaining that this was his first vacation in years-when he buys the box of strawberries (which pepper’s allergic to BIG RIP) and the dude’s like “r u iron man” and tony’s like “sometimes” and drives off-”sir i’m gonna have to ask you to exit the donut”-”i dont wanna join your super secret boyband”-that whole scene in the donut shop w nick and nat and tony means a lot-”you cant afford me”-okay yeah that scene where theyre talking about the avengers initiative, and how they want iron man but not tony stark bc it breaks my tony-stanning heart-when natasha (”natalie”) kicks the shit out happy no offense that was my kink, especially after that comment about booty camp or w/e he said -the fight between tony and rhodey-tony’s drunk ass in the iron man suit throwing what he believes is his last fucking birthday party-not a scene but tony’s leather jacket-stark expo entrance

Iron Man 3:-um the whole movie? i love im3-the whole fucking sequence when tony’s testing out the mark 42′s call-ability, and he’s listening to christmas music and dancing-i just reblogged a post about this but WHEN PEPPER’S SIFTING THROUGH THE DRAWINGS THAT TONY’S GOTTEN FROM KIDS BC THATS PURE-speaking of kids, “i loved you in “A Christmas Story”.”-this isnt a scene but his relationship with Harley-actually! the deleted scene where he resuscitates him with the arc reactor-”hey, remember what i told you about bullies?” and then harley tasers the shit out of that bald guy-the scene where tony visits happy in the hospital and tells the nurse to keep downtown abbey on bc happy thinks its elegant-when pepper rocks killian’s shit at the end-rhodey rocking killian’s shit earlier in the film-rhodey and tony going out to lunch together-GARY-when tony has an anxiety attack while on the phone with harley and tony’s like “idk what im gonna do” and harleys like well youre a mechanic why dont you just build something? and the way tony stops and the camera kinda zooms in cuz dammit this kid’s right-the following scene where tonys gathering shit from like Home Depot and then building his shit-and then the scene where he’s fucking DOING THAT to all those baddies

Infinity War: (spoilers under cut!) This movie counts, right?

-not a scene but i need to say it: thor is the STRONGEST AVENGER-when they asked “who do u serve” and peter quill’s like “what am i supposed to say, jesus???”-”i am groot” “I am steve rogers”-the scene where we first see tony use his armor bc listen that armor is my KIIINK-i really liked the whole sequence with thor and rocket on…i cant remember what planet it was…but when they were having the axe built by eitri (ok i just looked up his name bc i didnt remember it) and the fucking thing closed and thor was like “i’ll just hold it open” but eitri was like “you’ll be taking the full force from a STAR you’ll DIE” but thor fucking DID THAT. “hulk is the strongest avenger” who?-speaking of, when bruce hugged tony. important.-the scene where tony’s telling pepper he had a really realistic dream that they had a baby, PAIRED WITH when tony’s on the phone with pepper as he going up into space and it cuts out as she’s saying “I’m–” !! My pepperony-stanning heart FELT THAT!! tho i didn’t like the name he said they used tho tbh i dont even remember what it was i just remember not liking it-the scene with bruce and shuri and vision and shuri’s like “well why didnt you do [science]” and bruce was like “cuz we didnt…think of that?” and shuri was like “well i’m sure you tried your best”-WHEN BRUCE ASKS RHODEY IF THEY SHOULD BOW AND RHODEY’S LIKE “YEAH DUDE HE’S A KING” AND THEN BRUCE BOWS AND RHODEY’S LIKE “DUDE WHAT’RE YOU DOING” AND T’CHALLA SAYS “WE DONT DO THAT HERE” AND RHODEY LAUGHS RB IF YOU AGREE-the whole “where’s gamora?” “who’s gamora?” “why’s gamora?” scene aka when the guardians meet the avengers (well like 3 of them)-the faces tony makes when interacting with the guardians lol like when mantis says “kick names, take ass” and he just stares at the camera like holy shit

#eobardwellscavanagh #signed sealed delivered #im1 #im2 #im3 #aou #infinity war #avengers

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noctomania · 3 years

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I know i complain a lot about this & i know i may not know everything but what i do know has just continued to piss me off.

I used to use this tumblr partially just to rb stuff but also to dump shit that was on my mind kinda like a livejournal (i used to have one). I liked having it out in the open so that if ppl out there were going through something similar they could see they weren't alone in experience or in having no idea of what to do. For the past few years every time i wanted to do that i had to second guess myself bc my stepmom thought it was ok to find my blog & creep on it without letting me know until she came across something she wasn't happy with. After she told me that, i tried to change as much in my privacy settings, short of deleting my blog entirely, to prevent her from snooping if she wasn't going to respect me. I still don't know if any of it worked. For all i know she could still be.

My mind is often plagued by the time I was reaching out to my parents when i was facing homelessness, like serious homelessness. Not the summer homelessness i had already been enduring for the 5yrs prior. I'm talking i couldn't get a full time job & was barely surviving on part time work at Marshall's for minimum wage & no benefits. Im talking i was lucky i had any savings left over after college bc most got ate up - literally. Im talking i worked through college to feed myself, PLUS was an RA to cover housing fees, plus a full time student. My first apartment i was living in a large closet. As a sublet. Paying twice as much rent as i should have been. And got robbed a half a months rent.

When i was already reaching out to social services i also reached out to my parents for advice. I said nothing about money nothing about moving onto their couch. Just guidance. They came back at me with "we can't help you". They made it seem like i was asking them to carry me. I felt at that point the only option i had with what experience i had was to run away back to school. Which meant literally doubling the debt i already had. The only reason i wasn't paying into the debt at the time was i was literally too poor to.

Going back to school was great i terms of i had money finally & got to move back to salem & afford living alone. But if you're running away TO school...you don't want to go to school you want to run away. I wasn't ready, i was just desperate. So the plan failed, i failed, i ran away again. I was exceptionally "lucky" this place had jobs open.

But what im on about tonight is the info i found about my parents & their money. Now mind you when i say my parents i mean my dad & his wife. My real mom been dead long time. SHE was poor. SHE raised my sister & i primarily alone. We had food bank & food stamps & free/reduced breakfast lunch & hand-me-downs from neighbors. That's how I grew up. So when my stepmom tried to deny that we grew up poor I cut her out of my life. Haven't spoken to her in years & only just spoke to my dad for first time in years my last birthday. I sadly regret taking the call bc it was just "when you gonna move your stuff out". After years of not talking. All he could think about was that. My stuff which mind you they stuffed into a corner of a mouse-infested garage so inevitably a lot of my stuff is now rat-nestings. They couldn't spare a single one of their several fuckin rooms IN THE HOUSE.

Tonight i was bored & thought what if i can look up info on how much they couldn't help me when i was broke. Turns out they make over 220k a yr, with AT MOST one employee besides themselves to pay (didn't even pay them enough imo) & pay thousands in property taxes for property they do literally nothing with & for a house with FIVE FUCKIN BEDROOMS AND THREE BATHROOMS FOR JUST THE TWO OF THEM TO LIVE THERE & NEVER INVITE ANYONE OVER BC THEY HATE COMPANY. That is their SECOND house mind you (last i checked with my dad they are looking at buying their third jfc). But they couldn't help their own child. And yes I understand running a private business costs money. I also understand that they don't get weekly checks, it's all depending on what cases they can get/win. They always acted like they had less money than they do though. Many years they worked out of the house so there was no extra rent to pay. I've been working in my current job for over 5yrs & I am just now finally making 35k/yr after many union fights.

I can't find it in my heart to forgive them. Had mom still been alive she would have stripped their small intestines right out of their ass for turning a cold shoulder. They didn't offer any advice or help when I asked except dad tell me to sign up for the military. Which goes to show how much they actually thought about me considering I am not allowed to join the military even if I wanted to bc I am transgender. I know for a fact bc i did still have to sign up for selective service when I applied for a loan for grad school & they sent a letter back rejecting me. But I still got to sign up for the debt 🥴 It was further disturbing considering my parents have always been very anti-military. It felt like a real "go fuck yourself" response & I've never been able to shake that or been able to properly explain to them how that felt. They don't get it & they don't care bc they think it's"good for me" or "builds character". I don't think either of them have ever faced the experience my sister & esp I have. Their standards seemed to revolve only around what they wanted me to do & not at all around what I need. But had the audacity to criticize politicians doing the same thing.

The work they do is great, & I'm proud of that. They've fought to provide social security & disability support to those who need it. But what sense does it make that you're more willing to help strangers than you are your own family?

They never even visited me up here. Not once.

I hate this country i hate my family i hate money i hate bullshit. All that i care about are cats/nature, food, & weed. Everything else is a waste of my patience. And i know there are ppl out there doing good things doing right by those they love, but that shit doesn't "heal" me like it does everyone else. Basic kindness shouldn't be such a commodity.

I've spent every year ive been working here saving as much money as I can without completely neglecting myself. I've had set backs primarily due to my health. But as far as i see it I am the only safety net i have at this point. I have no life. I don't even know how to have a life anymore. Quarantine didn't even phase me bc I already had no life to give up & still had to show up to work like regular.

It's no fuckin wonder ive had so much suicidal ideation over the years, I've nowhere I feel I can turn where i feel 100% trust.

AND I'M PRIVILEGED AF. I am white, I have a steady job & a union, I am making more money more consistently than I ever have before. Getting here has been hell & terrifying. Being shown that my parents really aren't there for me, finding out that I'm actually terribly alone in the world, & literally just having to double down on being my own best friend. It definitely ices the heart & cuts the elasticity of the tolerance.

Part of me really wants to just lay into them for this bullshit. But other part of me is like what for? If they would feel bad they should already. But they don't & won't. So I just gotta move on & ignore their calls.

#suicidal ideation cw #cw suicidal ideation #im just angry tonight needed to dump this shit im fine

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groundramon · 6 years

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Homph I finished tri and I wrote down my thoughts as I was watching because I had too many funny shitposts and nobody to share them with bc charlie hasn’t watched tri yet

PS i wont be reblogging tri spoilers (besides MINOR stuff like, digivolutions of already confirmed digivolution lines or non-spoilery shitposts, but I’ll try to tag shitposts as #tri spoilers anyways [digivolutions specific to tri ill tag as well but not ones that were already basically confirmed]) for a while so ur safe here! I’m just gonna like everything/most things because then I can rb em to hisyaryumon lmao (also u should check out hisyaryumon....its me n charlie’s digimon blog)

EP 1:

- ok. alright. ok. good. they’re dealing with kari’s emotions now instead of just. nothing. ok. alright. cool. Still dont like how obscure/”artsy” they’re being with it, this is digimon not kagerou project, but ok.

- Also. I stand by tk and kari being one of the few good straight ships in digimon. just saying.

- kari: this is my fault... me: god damn it shut up you little brat also me: god relatable ALSO me: ill take whatever display of emotions i can get

- I love how nobody believes tai is dead like. They’re upset and worried but they’re also like “nah. he cant be. that fucking asshole just left us in our time of need” (actually only matt is the last one)

- Gabumon i would die for you also im crying and I think that’s the first time tri managed to make me fucking CRY

EP 2:

- I had thoughts but then the 02 kids happened and I entered another plane of reality. I don’t feel real right now

- the only one I can remember is evil!gennai being a dumbass and being like “SUFFER AND SQUIRM YOU PATHETIC HUMANS AS YOU FIGHT OVER THE LAST SEAT” 1. humans are KNOWN for their ability to care for others you dumb obvious fuck and 2. is. is the entire tube going? because that tube can fit too people if they squish. This isn’t a joke I’m serious it can.

- oh yeah also when i saw whomstever the fuck his name is (adult guy who i love but fuck names) and he was all bloodied i was like “its a cold day in hell when i see blood in digimon” (I think there was blood in an earlier ep but shh idc)

EP 3:

- didn’t nishijima start off as a fucking life coach to these kids. What the fuck he was supposed to help them find a career not emotionally scar them by bloodily dying in front of one of them

- im realizing that the reason hackmon was always in his cloak, in the shadows, standing still is that they cannot animate him in any normal position for the life of him. I drew him with better anatomy when i was 14 and didn’t have a tablet. No seriously, look:

I didn’t say it wasn’t bad, you guys are just underestimating how bad the anatomy on this poor creature is. Why cant ppl draw dracomon or hackmon correctly imma cry

- ordinemon has the best reaction faces

the best part about these two screenshots is that they literally cut one to the other, first the first one to the second one and then it cuts back to the first one. They were really proud of these stupid ass expressions.

- I started overcoming my dissociation shock from the second episode and my hypercritical mind was analyzing the shit out of everything that happened (it is Not happy) but then evil!gennai called kari and evil goddess and idk if he’s exaggerating to make her feel bad or if she’s literally a fucking god of chaos and destruction and either way im like

she did kinda like. Watch wizardmon die, watch tai die, watch gatomon get absorbed. The dark ocean is just a metaphor for depression and honestly if 02 wasn’t all over the fucking place I think Kari would’ve had some pretty decent development in it. Actually you know what, I’m using that as an angle to approach Tri at now, wish me luck bc i might actually give it more leeway now

EP 4:

- I’m not dissociating but I forgot to say anything again and I already forgot what happened

- Cant believe mei is fucking dead

EP 5:

- I like to imagine that Tai got there like a few minutes ago, but he was like “well damn guess yall figured it out without me. alright ill just. see if I need to do anything” and then meicoomon was Still Bad so he waited for when she struck just to make the most badass entrance possible. Fucking extra ass bitch

- I forgot to write anything again but uhhh I wasn’t satisfied so anyways lets just get into the Juicy Details

Originally I was actually planning to be kinder to Tri than I expected. Was very invested during it. ‘Round the end of the last ep I realized hmmm no this isn’t working out. Where are the 02 kids. You should’ve brought them in to save the day. That would’ve been SO cool and SO fun. Fucking cowards.

god I’m kinda tired so I’m going to address a couple things I still had problems with, note that this isn’t everything it’s just everything I felt comfortable yelling about without rewatching past eps. Like I forgot nishijima was all bloodied and presumably died in the last part until they brought it up and I was like “????” ALSO DID THE LADY WHO WAS HIS PARTNER OR W/E KILL HERSELF WITH THE GUN SHE FOUND, I JUST REALIZED LITERALLY AS I WAS TYPING THIS THAT SHE FOUND A GUN AND THEN I THINK IT CUT TO BLACK AND I’M

DID SHE FUCKING KILL HERSELF WHAT THE FUCK

anyways my problems:

1. They did joe. really dirty. I’ll write a more proper rant on this sometime later (mostly bc charlie is MUCH better at talking about joe than I am) but basically I can tell you that his character development in the movies squandered his OG character development. He’s basically an entirely different person. Like Tri joe isn’t bad, besides being largely neglected (yes he has a whole half a movie to himself, no that doesn’t make up for it all), its just...not OG joe. He’s a fine character just not the same character, and its NOT fine when you put the two together.

2. THEY DID THE 02 KIDS EVEN DIRTIER IM SO BITTER sorry you nostalgia-blind, money-hungry fucks at bandai, but the 02 cast is PART OF THE ADVENTURES UNIVERSE. The only people who hate 02 are ones who like the characters but hate the mess of the storyline at the end, or are completely irrational and elitist about their love of the digimon series and would greatly re-evaluate their opinions if they watched the original series and 02 back to back. They couldn’t even show them in some kind of group montage at the end??? Standing in the background when they call Mei??? Why couldn’t they call mei from a home phone also, but that’s a less important problem idc that much. It was a cute scene besides the lack of 02 characters. Whatever. AND THE PROBLEM IS LIKE kari and tk? This entire time??? Were like “oh they disappeared. oops” instead of being frantically searching for their lost friends??? Like i get tk and kari probably have fucking ptsd and can’t express any emotions because they watched important people die in front of their eyes at an incredibly young age but also 1. they didn’t address the ramifications of ptsd, so fuck that theory/excuse and 2. THAT??? WOULD ONLY MAKE THEM LOOK HARDER??? and put on a brave face as they look, but inside they’re so scared and so worried. Not just “oh sweet, they were found/saved, theyre in the hospital but that’s fine” like WHAT theyre fucking assholes if that’s what they’d canonically do lmao. God I am SO bitter over the ENTIRE thing with the 02 kids, it would’ve been BETTER if they were deleted from the fucking canon entirely. Would I have still been bitter? Yes. But at least I wouldn’t be madder at TK and Kari too.

3. I stand 100% by the notion that Digimon is not and will never be cut out to be an adults’ franchise. It wasn’t designed for adults, and it can’t be skewered towards adults. These particular characters were designed for kids to relate to and find entertaining. They do not work when placed into an adult setting. Like, can you imagine a character like Ed from FMA going to the Digimon world? I guess in a way that’s just Marcus but like. Just imagine the FMA cast in Digimon Adventure. It doesn’t work. Digimon Tri is basically that except real. Also Data Squad was darker than Adventure so my joke doesn’t even work.

I guess my primary point is that Tri isn’t mature enough of a setup for an adult audience. It puts a focus on being “complex” and “philosophical” instead of working within Digimon’s constraints and making something good and adult out of that. Like! Digimon is a fucking TOY COMMERCIAL. Don’t give me messages about the futility of human life. I want bad puns and emotional characters. That’s what Digimon has ALWAYS been, and ideally always will be. Tri could’ve made itself more mature by dealing with the ramifications of the Digital World’s events, how it affected the kids psychologically and dealing with healing old scars. It would’ve been a more mature take on a story we loved and would use things we loved about the story already - the fact that it took so much time exploring characters’ emotions and was surprisingly mature for the time - to make itself better. You need to take the aspects that drew adults to the show and amplify them, not just slap on a complex story and unfunny dialogue and be like “oh this is fine, right?”

It’s not that Digimon can’t exist as an adult property, its just that if it repeats what Tri did, it’s got no merit and in my eyes the franchise is dead. If it survives I guess I’ll be happy that people can still enjoy it but I find it unsustainable and unsatisfying to fans of the older series. Tri is just a fuckfest of highly specific nostalgia that tries too hard to appeal to old fans without capturing what made the original series so magical, and in part thats because the original series WASN’T FOR ADULTS. I don’t know about the Digimon Story games, bc they’re T-rated so perhaps they’re a better take on an adult Digimon story than Tri? But you either need to make your own characters and lore specifically for an adult-oriented Digimon season, or perish. Also, please make it a series and not a group of movies. Getting four eps every 6-9 months was hell.

I stand by saying Appmon is a more faithful Digimon season than Tri to Digimon’s original spirit. I believe it holds more potential for success than Tri and better embodies the spirit of the older Digimon seasons. It’s dumb, its corny, it has horrible puns, but I LOVE it because it also has a deep dark story and emotional moments. If you dislike Tri and you agree with things I said that make it unlikeable, I highly recommend giving Appmon a chance - if you watch a few episodes and think “oh yeah, I guess this is decent” you’re going to like it. It’s everything Digimon has always been and hopefully always will be, just with a different concept. And hopefully the end of the series doesn’t leave a sour taste in my mouth and I have to redact this statement haha since I’m not done with it yet, but I’ve heard good things about it so I’m hoping not so.

Overall, if you watch Tri, don’t get your hopes up. It resolves everything okay-ish but it’s a pretty forgettable anime on its own and simply doesn’t work as part of the Digimon franchise.

I am, however, pretty interested in what evil!gennai said at the end about Diaboromon and Daemon. It raises interesting questions about the timeline too. We know Daemon is in the dark ocean, so perhaps that’s a hint at a future project? (They did confirm a future project btw, in conjunction with tri being over) But what about Diaboromon? I dont believe that Our War Game (I think thats what its called?) took place after Tri, based on the outfits and ages and stuff, but I also don’t remember the movies that well. Could Diaboromon still be out there too? It’s interesting.

However, because of the lackluster performance of Tri, I don’t have my hopes up and I really hope that this “next project” goes in a different direction. Although I guess if they include the 02 kids, I’ll be somewhat less salty...

Side note, did they ever explain why the gennais went evil? Like ? That’s a pretty important thing. The gennais helped SAVE the human world in 02. And I get that apparently Tri is ignoring 02′s ending but still. It’s shitty, because Gennai was still a good guy in the original too (and also they cant just keep is younger look and act like 02 never happened) MAYBE its something I missed but I dont think so. God there’s just. So much wrong with Tri. I’m very displeased and very bitter and I wanna get back to Appmon asap.

It’s got good moments, its got bad moments, I dont know, I don’t care. There’s nothing wrong with you if you like it, there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you flip flop and are split like me. I just wish Tri fulfilled its potential instead of becoming a boring mess.

#stormy speaks #digimon

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meanxgreen-blog · 7 years

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Ill delete later its just stuff that i hear that kinda make me second guess a few things

I get it that you may have roleplayed with a Roadbuster that was here before me and don’t expect me to be able to replace them. believe me im not trying to REPLACE anyone. But please i’d rather not like to hear that you prefer another person rping as him because you don’t like how i rp him. Like please no???

It was scary enough trying to be open and try with Roadbuster without having people who tell you that that’s not how you rp as him. I have bad enough paranoia that i’m trying with Roadie or the other wreckers.

That also comes with the others too. I don’t know if you intended or not to get at me with saying that you didn’t like Topspin as western asian. I don’t care if you were used to him being something else jfc. it’s just a humanformer thing. I’ll make him what ever i want.

But again please just if you can.. Can you fuckin like not be passive aggressive to me because the other fuckin RB roleplayers left and you can’t get the fuck over it? I love to hear about the other’s i really do. Heckie i admire the others so much but putting me down and being like “ WHOS THIS FUCKER?” sheesh that ain’t cool. I’m also not inclined to make Roadbuster like you. sorry. He can just be a cunt if i want him to be.

But just thanks to those peeps who support me through this blog. Really you have no idea how much i love you guys, i just.. jfc.

I’m gonna stop now sorry.

#i dunno if it counts as a rant #ill delete later #ignore my silliness i just need to write it down #im bein salty

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tehohaews · 3 years

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tagged by my second favorite but ex pie blog 😭😭😭 @billkinsdancing user ipytm come back i miss you sm 🤧🤧 oh and also my favorite teddy bear @mixmetawin love ya bestie 💞💞

1. why did you choose your url?

Atots supremacy 😔✊ but no lol. I liked my prev url,seetians a lot, it was cute 🥺. But after the finale i had a lot of phutian feels and i wanted smth related to phutian. But all the pretty urls were taken 😭 so i was just trying combinations one day and i was like haha i bet the Ataleofthousandstars one is taken but still let me try it and then i got it!?!//! Helllpppp. But also yes atots supremacy 😔✊ i wanted to change it again but i feel a lot of ppl associate me with this url now so 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️ i dont want anyone to forget me

2. any sideblogs?

Atotsweek 😚😚 but tbh sideblogs are difficult to manage and jdjddj when someone likes the atotsweek posts from this blog, I get notifications for both blogs dudjdu its confusing 😩. Also i have to check everytime which blog im reblogging on. Anyway other than that I have 3 other sideblogs but i use those for saving textposts and resources and such so they are useless.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

11 months 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️ gonna be a year next month 😩 im smoll okay!!

4. do you have a queue tag?

#q 😩 but i want to have a tag for my son Q with the fabulous bluenails but what do i do help 😩😩 his name is my queue tag

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

Diidjdsijs i almost forgot about this omg. So I bought a new phone and then was like let me download many apps so that I'll look cool and cultured 🤪. But then after 5 months or so i was like im never gonna use all of these apps so i started deleting them and then i saw tumblr and went oohh whats this let me take a look and opened an account djdjjdjs. And I was in a sfh hyperfixation that time so i stayed for the sfh posts and then I watched h3 trapped (my first bl) > watched wyel > made content for wyel > somehow found 2g by gifs and the rest is history 😌

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I found a lot of cool designs on pinterest and was like what if I use these ideas for my icon 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️ and tehohaew supremacy ofc 💞💞

7. why did you choose your header?

Cause im lazy and I literally giffed only that scene from ep2. And then i posted it TWICE and made it my header too. Work smarter not harder 😌 but also i like that shot? Like this is the equivalent of the sunset shot of itsay ep5 and i like it. Plus i added sparkles OBVIOUSLY but you cant see them unless you take a close look on it

8. whats your post with the most notes?

This 2g one but if we're talking about gifsets than the atots collage 💞

9. how many mutuals do you have?

I have no idea. I'm bad at following people back and sometimes I just let it be 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️ sorry besties, if we're not mutuals its not on purpose i just dont know that i dont follow you. Plus I tend to follow blogs who rb content from the 3 shows I watched so 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️yeah i dont follow a lot of ppl. But if I ever talked to you it means we are mutuals and i love you with my entire heart 💞💞

10. how many followers do you have?

🐓🐓🐓

11. how many people do you follow?

No idea

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

Everyday bestie 😚

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

More like each minute 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️ i wish there was a way you could deactivate your blog without deleting it

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Idk. Maybe? Maybe not? I tend to block people i dont like so 🤷‍♀️

15. how do you feel about 'you need to reblog this' posts?

I rarely come across those

16. do you like tag games?

Yes 💞 but I only do it if I'm super bored and if I like the game(like this one).I love it when others think of me and tag me though 🥺

17. do you like ask games?

I like fandom related ask games. If you ask me to tell me 3 things about myself it will take me 3 months to answer 😭😭 I actually have a lot of asks in my inbox about that and I havent answered them, I'm sorry my mind is blank when it comes to personal questions 😭😭😭

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Everyone who gets atleast one note on their shitposting

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

I would say Ellis but they havent talked to me in like almost a week and I'm sad and lonely 😩 Ellis come back, drop out of school and go to the beach with me 🥺💞 other than that I dont think so? Does @ppdchickencoop count? 🥰🥰

#tag game #not tagging anyone cause im lazy #and shy #mostly lazy #anyway

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stannussy · 3 years

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I got Tagged by @strafethesesinners, @rejected-beater, @xbaebsae, @euryalex @p0lkadotdotdot thanks!

1: Why did you choose your url?

I thought the DEPYOTEE was funny so, where we are. <:P

2: Any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

OOOF, I have a lot to make “Space and stay on theme in main UwUr”, but all roads lead to rome and I cannot stay on theme for the life of me. SO:

@dep-arts (I let you guess. ;)c )

@dep-insp (I hard one too, I KNOW.)

@oynon-ds (My GreedFall/Pathologic/Bloodborne/Plaguecore. Im very proud of the asthetics on this one)

@intothecogverse (My choices of games blog :P or well, Quinn blog now I guess aksdfas I havent updated bc I havent played another one recentely)

@leather-nomad (Cyberpunk blog)

And another three that are empty, which are swtor themed, horror, black ops: cold war, which im gonna delete soon bc its a mess <:P So yeah, GOOD LUCK KEEPING UP WITH ME.

3: How long have you been on tumblr?

Since 2013 or so, my old blog, now deleted, was my teen angst. But I made this one on 2017 because I wanted a more video game/art focus and well <:P The shitposting follows me anywhere.

4: Do you have a queue tag?

“I Queue Away For Fun” lyric from the song Colossus from IDLES, the og one goes: “I waste away for fun.” :)c

5: Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I wanted to start new, and I wanted to get into Destiny and then I went down hill from there :P Now, its just thing I like throw around and to talk to people :3c

6: Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Its pride baby!!!

7: Why did you choose your header?

Faith’s scenes are one of my favorites, I love the little details of I find everytime and that shot particularly makes me think that some of the storyboard artists had that “This photograper took a photo of his gf in every vacation place they went” images on their pinterest. I love the black and the contrast of white.

8: What’s your post with the most notes?

Uuuh, idk, it was shitposting most probably. <:Pc

9: How many mutuals do you have?

A few :3 I collect them like:

10: How many followers do you have?

I won’t tell you how many people come to my circus, it's about the confidentiality 😌

11: How many people do you follow?

A shit ton ngl :P

12: Have you ever made a shitposts?

13: How often do you use tumblr each day?

I live here. askdjfbaks, this is my cozy trash cotainer.

14: Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

Ummm, nope, never, but even then I won 😌 Its hard to always be right, I know. Someone has to, tho.

15: How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Tbh, I hate them. But I hate even more when they have good resources on it, bc on one hand I understand why say: “You need to rb this” to say important issues (NOT STUPID INTERNET DRAMA/disc horse) and begin desesperate as someone from said affected group, feeling like this issue doesnt matter to poeple while you’re affected on first hand, but It’s also really reductive to say “you/my mutuals dont rb ur/theyre this and that.” Its dumb. It doesnt help. So, yeah, I swallow the pill only when I think its important shit, y’know?

But I also dont want my blog to turn into the yellowbook of donations.

16: Do you like tag games?

I DO, I LOVE EM, but I haven’t answered some bc I had bad patch recently <:’P

17: Do you like ask games?

I DO, TOO, just so yall know: if you ever send me an ask or tag and I havent answered, that ask its coming into my dreams asking me “why” I adandoned it, Chirstmas Charol type.

Rb, dont answer bc you forgot, let it keep u up at night and repeat, I love it!

And it’s true some people don't have the etiquette of: ask and then rb.

19: Do you have a crush on a mutual?

When I have my male wife applications, I let you yall girlbosses know ;)c

tagging: @sleepfight, @goodmorningmissmorgan, @kilaem, @iigoeyei, @seyj, @curiousstrawberry, @eulerami, @chazz-anova, @sarchelyur, @jollybone, @xbaebsae, @oldserah, @madsismad, @amistrio, @raccoondog3, @rainbowtroutlesbian, @tommymillers, @fadedjacket, @returnofdedsec, @latinstalin, @redreart, @witchesconstellation, @unlikelynick, @unleashedart, @eydika @native-mason, @cobb-vanthss @chorby-soul @trans-corvo @lobanhart, @shellibisshe @returnofdedsec @belorage

#tag game #girl boss (gender neutral)#feel free to follow those old ass blogs #skssksksks #not really #theyre kinda dead and I havent like rb stuff bc ive been here goofing around #and they have WAY too much content to just delete

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