Tumgik
#im not religious in the first place so i dont care either way
tugoslovenka · 5 months
Text
not to be ungrateful bc i rly love all the sweet messages and warm wishes i've received from all my mutuals but anytime someone wishes me merry christmas this time of year i want to send them this
Tumblr media
6 notes · View notes
freakkisser · 13 days
Note
also, can you tell me a little bit more abt all of your black butler f/os and you? i don't know much (if anything) abt black butler but you and ciel are so interesting, i want to hear abt the rest 💕💕💕 :D
Tumblr media
thank you for this! i love talking about the sillies! also some spoilers for black butler!
Tumblr media
grell and felix
grell and felix dont really have many interactions till she kills madam red, felix and ciels aunt, that makes felix have mixed feelings towards her almost immediately. he wasnt close to his aunt but she is some of the only family he had left so it is bitter. grell also threatens to kill ciel and felix and by proxy sebastian so theres some fearfulness towards her in their first real interactions.
but as the story goes on grell just keeps popping up. all the time she somehow finds a way to show up around him. unbeknownst to felix shes taken a bit of a liking to the boy, so not only does she show up where she does in the canon story, but any time felix is by himself shell find a way to just show up and bother him.
eventually he warms up to her and they just develop this unspoken bond that is definitely a queer platonic relationship. sebastian and ciel arent too fond of it because neither of them like grell too much, but they both agree shes useful so they dont try to interfere with felix and grells relationship.
sebastian and felix
sebastian and felix are complicated. they have an odd relationship and its not really queer platonic but its not really friends either. sebastian and felix met very soon after ciel returned with him. felix rushed back home from the religious school he was staying at to reunite with his brother who he thought was dead, and thats when he met sebastian. he knew something was up with sebastian right away. he was odd and felix didnt know where he came from either. it was a miracle his brother was alive in the first place but with some new fancy butler too?
felix learned about sebastian being a demon and his pact with ciel pretty quickly too. ciel was trying to keep it from him but with how fond of his older brother he was it wasnt that long before ciel dumped it all onto felix. when it came to sebastian being a demon felix wasnt entirely surprised, the school he went to taught about demons and such but the way Sebastian presented himself was what really caught him off guard. felix vowed to find a way to get ciel out of sebastian and his deal which made sebastian and felix have a bit of a rough relationship.
over time though they both grew to respect each other in a weird way. felix respected sebastian for how well he took care of and protected ciel and sebastian found solace in having another individual to talk to as more of an equal. (even if sebastian didnt really look at felix as an equal) felix is still trying to get ciel out of the deal, and sebastian knows but they have a mutual understanding of one another and a sort of respect for one another so its not a constant feud between them or anything.
ciel and felix
felix was obviously the oldest of the three phantomhive brothers (surprise noe ciel is actually a twin in canon) so when they were younger he was supposed to take on the heir to the phantomhive name. but something happened to get his parents to practically disown him (no spoilers one day im gonna write a fic about it) which led to him getting sent off to the religious school.
when they were kids though ciel and felix were always close, there was 5 years between them but felix loved his little brother and ciel always clung onto felix the most. i talked about them as kids a bit in another post so tldr for that, ciel had a crush on his big brother that didnt go away and felix developed feelings for ciel when they were older.
after the phantomhive manor burned down and felix assumed all his family had passed he returned for the funeral, but when asked if he was going to take over the funtom company or rebuild the manor he said no. returning to his school for the two years ciel was missing, but when he heard the news that ciel had returned alive and well (ish) he rushed back to where he was.
ciel was cold and distant at first, trying to hide things from felix (and honestly thats a fair way to respond to that much trauma) but eventually ciel broke down and confessed everything that happened. he was vulnerable with his brother just like he was when they were little. that was the true start of them really getting close, knowing that they were basically each others only family now they had to stick together. and so they kept confiding in each other and growing their relationship until it became more than that of familial love.
Tumblr media
4 notes · View notes
ncssian · 2 years
Note
it makes me kinda upset the way i see a lot of people talking about eaw online and so i really appreciate your takes. so many people say its a bad representation of autism even when it echoes my experiences makes me feel bad. i feel like a lot of low support needs, high empathy autistic people dont understand the difficulties faced by low empathy, higher support needs afab autistics. some of us act like wyw. and to say its wrong, or to nitpick at this rep, or to even go so far as to say its a “male” representation of autism is so silly to me. i like the care and nuance you discuss this show with, because i see too many people trying so hard to make every single scene or aspect a negative thing just because it doesnt fit their experience of autism
thank u so much for this ask but im not sure how to answer it as tastefully as possible, so im sure i’ll say something here that could be construed as out of pocket or not my place to speak. however since i really agree with you i’m going to give my unasked for opinion anyway
first of all im not diagnosed autistic (i’ll really never know until i get access to a psychiatrist though) but even if i was i think my opinion on this issue would stay the same, which is that autism is literally a spectrum ? and everyone on the spectrum has different needs and different experiences so i dont really get how someone from one end of the spectrum could accurately speak on the rep of someone from another point of the spectrum. the opinions are def valid because they come from autistic people at the end of the day but ive also been seeing takes that… sort of blatantly ignore the fact that different types of autistic people exist.
the closest comparison i can think of is muslim rep. if i as a muslim see muslim characters playing terrorists i can obviously say this rep sucks ass, and i’ll be right. but if i see muslim characters that are either super religious or the opposite, super flippant about religion, i wont claim that it’s shitty representation just because it’s not an accurate representation of how *i* live my life. i know there are other muslims out there who will relate to it, and the rep is more for them than it is for me.
there is no one “bad/good representation” of autism because there’s hundreds of different representations, with the exception being blatantly poorly written rep that insults the group as a whole (see: muslim terrorist characters).
like most minority groups, autistic people aren’t monoliths and their opinions shouldn’t be presented as monolithic, which i think is the problem you’ve been seeing in the tags. it bugs me too but luckily the positivity overwhelms the negativity which means your feelings of being represented by wyw are 100% valid and correct. anyway those are my thoughts
17 notes · View notes
magnoliamyrrh · 1 year
Note
Don't you have a psychotic father? Didn't you fear that acid might trigger psychosis in you too?
He did. Its unclear what has caused my fathers psychosis however. His mother holds that when he was young he overdosed on some medication and had a long series of epileptic-like seizures, and that this may be the source; doesnt seem too far fetched bc there have been cases of this happening, and of epileptic seizures causing religious-focused psychosis, and feelings of "heaven" and "hell." Noone else in that line of my family, or on any side of my familty, has had any kind of psychosis-inducing mental illness however, noone recently at least or noone that anyone knows of
I used to worry about it at the beggining, yes, every once in awhile I still do. I mean, before i even did psychadelics weed could have technically caused psychosis - ive met ppl in psych wards who had weed-induced psychosis who had no family history of it even; one girl who it hit after the first time she smoked, and didnt even smoke much. However, no matter how much and how frequently ive smoked, ive never come close to feeling like it was causing that - the most ive had is weed-induced paranoia and other shit, but nothing once I came down. To smoke weed was a risk in the first place, which i took, and so far its been years and nothing has hit me
When i first tried psychadelics, and acid was the first one, I knew it was a risk, one i took because I know I could handle high doses of weed without losing it, and because I was...... well. I was fucked up. anorexia bulimia suicidality a bunch of other shit, i wasnt far away from a second suicide attempt at all, and I couldnt rly see many ways out of the shitshow i was in - i figured if I didnt kill myself the anorexia or bulimia would kill me anyway...... and so, i decided to take the risk, that everything good ive heard might be worth it. And im very glad I did, bc theres a high chance id be...... either dead or much worse off today
By now ive tripped idk well over 50/60 times and have yet to feel like my brain has been pushed twoards psychosis. The most I can say is that, and this applies only to acid which I dont rly do anymore, when I did later on take probably too high doses and had rly bad trips,,,,, yea, in the middle of the bad trip i was afraid of that possibility (or more accurately afraid the trip would never end) - frankly, I think the fact that I had the strength to keep myself together and pull myself out of it got me through it; i dont know if someone else going through that experience without prior experience and the ability to try to keep it together would have had a psychotic break, idk, maybe so maybe not - maybe it wouldnt have been chemical but it would have been so traumatic that theyd have been lost in the sauce. Or maybe not........ the most i can say is that I learned my lesson w strong doses of acid, and that it did happen that I felt its effects for days or weeks after the trip - not psychosis or delusions - hard to explain, but its like the trip lingers; in good cases this is called psychadelic "afterglow," after bad or exhausting trips its not particularly pleasant
Sooo, idk. Yea, i guess it could happen, fuck it, it could happen with weed too. Its a risk I take. I don't smoke as commonly as I used to anyway, and I dont do psychadelics as often (tho frankly the times when I would do shrooms around once or twice a month were the most productive, stable, sane, happy periods of my life). I hope to God it wont, but it could, even being careful and respectful with it
....... overall though? psychadelics, and especially shrooms, have made me feel exponentially, exponentially more "sane" than I ever was before I took them..... and even particularly crazy trips managed to teach me, my brains a lot more put together and stronger than I thought it was
3 notes · View notes
sweetlilremi · 7 months
Note
I'd like to offer some positive advice if you would like.
I'd say the first thing you need to do is pray to God to see if this is really working out and is the best situation for you.
I for one know what it's like to have abandonment issues, you are not alone in that.
Sometimes when people tell the truth about themselves we have to believe them. For example I had my ex bf tell me that he was putting on an innocent act to fool everyone around him (there was more to it but this isn't about me) | believed him when he said it, because it was true. The mask slipped and for a moment I saw the real him, which is very hard to truly come to that realization that a person we love might not be what's best for us and truly care about us as much as we do them. Sometimes it's the best thing to let the person go. If it's hurting you in the end then it isn't worth it.
For whatever reason she felt the need to confess in that server, I'd take it at face value. It's hard to deny something like that because why would you say it in the first place? My advice is to talk it out. If she ignores you, insults you, makes you feel stupid, then maybe it's time to let go. You don't need someone like that in your life. I know it might be hard to see that now (trust me I know) but it does get better. Now maybe everything will work out. A misunderstanding, of some kind, or she really does figure out what she said hurt you. If she apologizes and truly means it then play the situation by ear. See what happens.
Either way I will pray to Jesus for you to give you peace and strength and wisdom. I advice you try to do the same and see what He might tell you.
Remember anything is possible with the Lord.
Tw: mention of death/suicide
m so so grateful for this but.. idk how to this, uhm, i woke up to this message, and I’ve texted her on everything and they were just left on delivered. I wish I could talk to her. It’s the thing i want most in the world right now. I dont know what to do. She’s either passed away, or in hospital for trying to pass away, and I’ve been crying all day. I’m not extremely religious anymore, and I don’t follow Christianity in the typical sense, but I took your advice and prayed today for the first time in months. Thank you, Im grateful for you, although I’m most definitely going to be inactive for a while. I’ve just lost my girlfriend, the one person who was genuinely my everything, my caregiver, my best friend, and I really am struggling in coming to terms with that. I hope you understand.
Edit: She replied to my messages. She isn’t dead, she just wanted to break up with me, because she has plans to commit. Idek what to do with this information I’m so confused and angry
Tumblr media
1 note · View note
joontier · 4 years
Text
mercedes midnight runs | drabble 
Tumblr media
synopsis: ur thirsting over jk driving you around in a mercedes
pairings: jungkook x reader
rating: R
genre: smut, angst | warnings: pwp basically (the thirst is real and unquenchable) with lidol angst ; swearing ; degradation ; car sex (pls dont do this while driving fjlaksas)
word count: 2.1k
g/n: this is the first installment for my ‘between the lines’ collection! ackkk ive been wanting to do this for so long because ive always thirsted over the boys driving and imagining jk driving his mercedes around seoul is just,,,,, eye ---- btw, this is heavily unedited nhnghgnhgn i just had to share the thirst with yall real quick 
between the lines navi. |  navi. | m.list
Tumblr media
You’ve already planned out a quiet night to yourself tonight to rest and get your mind off of things, but all of a sudden, just as you were about to settle in bed, Jungkook sends you a text, telling you to get ready in half an hour because he’s going to pick you up and take you out somewhere. 
It isn't new news anymore that he’s texting you at this hour because he’s only permitted to go out after his schedules, which usually also end late at night. Superstar problems, can’t relate. 
Well, that and because your relationship with him warrants these types of late night meet-ups. It’s that type of arrangement you’d never thought you’d agree to, but eventually, learned to cope with. Your phone pings - a new message.
[🕺] 12:45AM
im out front
When you exit your apartment, you see an unfamiliar silver car parked in front of the building, you back up the stairs, wary of who might be inside the mysterious vehicle. The window rolls down halfway, and you see Jungkook takes a peek through the small space. 
Going back down the steps, you quickly climb inside the vehicle. “New car?” 
“Yeah, you like it?” 
You hum in agreement, tracing a hand along the sleek design of the dashboard. “It’s very...you,” you remark, in awe at how this new Benz fits Jungkook so well. “C’mere,” Jungkook tugs at your elbow, closing the distance between the two of you. “Fuck, you don’t know how much I missed you.” He presses his lightly chapped lips against yours, nipping gently at your bottom lip. Abruptly, you pull away, worried. 
“Kook...what if someone sees?” 
“I got the windows tinted. I got this car for us.” His words resonate throughout the car, and you're afraid he might hear your heart thudding strongly in your chest. You choose to ignore the implications of his words, focusing on his presence and not your treacherous thoughts. 
You give him a chaste kiss on his cheek in reply, sending a smile in his direction. You hope he doesn't see your real emotions swimming in your eyes. “Where are we escaping off to tonight?”  Internally cringing at your careless choice of words, you take off your hoodie and place it at the backseat, along with your purse, all the while giving him a generous display of your cleavage as a distraction.
Jungkook’s tongue darts out to moisten his lips. “I’m having second thoughts now, if we should really leave or not,” he says, unabashedly staring at your chest, eyeing your nipples, pert against the fabric of your low-cut top. “No bra?” 
“You told me you’d be here in twenty minutes, so I had to hurry….” 
“Wearing a bra takes you twenty minutes now?” Jungkook snorts, shaking his head at your lame excuse. 
“Yup, especially when all I could think about is having you take them off. So be grateful, because I’m doing you a favor.” You give him a wink, giggling when he huffs and starts the car. You’ve outwitted him once more. Silently, deep within the recesses of your brain, you wish you had the same amount of control you had over your words with your heart, especially when you’re around Jungkook. 
Connecting your phone to the car’s music player via bluetooth, you scroll through your recents and pick on your favorite playlist when you’re with Jungkook. ‘Sexy Can I’ by Ray J and Yung Berg comes first on shuffle. 
“That sounds like a very promising playlist.” 
Your conversation slowly lulls into silence, the two of you seated there quietly as you feel the enhanced bass reverberate throughout the new car. Leaning against the headrest, you glimpse at the man beside you, studying his features. 
Sometimes you find it funny how never in a million years did you even dream of being this close to the Euphoria crooner. If it wasn’t for your cousin Eunkyung - an idol who debuted the same year as Jungkook did, who’s likewise a very good friend of the latter, then you don't think you would even come close to breathing the same air as the global sensation beside you. 
Judging by the movement of Jungkook’s lips, you reckon he’s been speaking to you for the last five minutes, but you definitely have not processed a single word from him, for all you care. You couldn't blame yourself though, and Jungkook is certainly the one who is to take responsibility for your momentary preoccupation.
“You okay babe?” 
“Mhmmhm” 
If you were going to be completely honest, you were far from okay. Besides the many thoughts swirling inside your head, your trusty menstrual cycle tracker app is telling you that you’re bound to welcome your monthly visitor in a week - which means you’re PMSing - which further means you’re only in one certain state of mind - you’re insatiably horny. 
Unfortunately for you, Jungkook is absolutely no help at all. Not when he constantly looks like sex personified - muscular thighs, veiny arms, the whole package. Plus, there’s something about Jungkook behind the wheel that’s ultimately driving you crazy. 
A major part of it is your hormones for sure, but then again, even your hormones are thirsting over Jungkook driving, veiny forearms on display as he grips the wheel, or the way he backs up with only one hand on the steering wheel, or the way he sometimes keep a hand on your thigh as he drives. The formula is clear: Jeon Jungkook will be the cause of your insanity.
Jungkook pulls up the sleeves of his Carhartt sweater, revealing his nearing full-sleeve-tattooed right arm. The sight instantly makes you water, or wetter. Whichever the case may be. 
You hadn’t seen him in a week, busy working on his mixtape, amongst other stuff. And you miss him terribly, sex with him included. As desperate and slutty that sounds, Jungkook is that type of person that leaves you wanting, yearning for more. 
“What’s going on then?” 
“If this is about Eunkyung…you know we already talked about that…”
“I don’t wanna talk about that, Jungkook.” 
“What’s wrong then?” 
You don’t answer, just silently watching the muscles on his forearm ripple as he pulls on the hand brake when you get to an intersection. You gulp, looking away as you push your thighs together, hoping that somehow the friction will help the desire pooling between your legs. The action doesn't go unnoticed by Jungkook, whose eyes instantly  darken, now all too aware of your state. 
“Tell me what’s wrong baby girl.” 
Your resolve nearly breaks at the pet name, looking out the window to avoid his gaze. The light turns green again, and as he continues to drive, he rests a hand on your exposed thigh, strategically placing it just in the middle, the action gentle, yet enough to add fuel to your frustration. 
His tattooed fingers gingerly trace patterns on your bare thigh. Fuck Jungkook and his thing for skirts. You weren't one to complain about his sexual fantasies though, not when wearing the skirts he buys for you gets you a good fucking afterwards. 
You stay quiet in your seat, not giving the satisfaction that Jungkook gets knowing that he’s getting you all riled up. Two can play at this game. 
Gingerly, you place a hand on top of his, gently guiding his hand north towards your core. The man driving beside you lets out a cough, sitting up straighter. Keeping his hand sliding up until he’s fully cupping your core, Jungkook chokes on thin air as he realizes you’re not wearing panties either. 
“Let me guess, wearing underwear is too mainstream?” 
Shrugging, you spread your legs wider, guiding his fingers to slide against your already glistening folds. A shot of electricity runs through your spine. “Fuck, baby girl, you’ll be the death of me,” Jungkook growls, taking a sharp intake of breath as he teases you, shallowly dipping a digit through your wet cunt. 
“You’re fucking soaked. You seem to enjoy the thought, princess. Christening my car seats like the slut that you are?” He drawls, this time fully pushing a finger in as you get to another stoplight. 
“Jungkook, don’t tease me like that baby.” Biting your lip to stop the moan that’s threatening to spill, your own hand reaches out to grab at Jungkook crotch. He hisses at the sensation. You smirk to yourself. Seems like you’re not the only one who’s greatly affected. 
Encouraged by Jungkook’s reaction, you slip a hand through the waistband of his sweats, taking hold of his already hard cock. “And you’re surprised I don’t wear underwear? Bit rich coming from you now isn’t it?” 
“Better watch your mouth and stop teasing me, baby girl. You might just get punished for that.” 
“And what if I want to get punished?”
Jungkook huffs, pulling out his finger as the light turns orange. He brings his slick-covered finger to your lips, “Suck,” he orders. You oblige, sucking on his slender digit and swirling a tongue around it. 
“You’re in for a fucking treat, naughty girl.” 
It’s green again. With a sigh, Jungkook gets back to driving, this time religiously looking for a discreet place to stop over so he can fuck you properly. He finally finds a filling station, now driving with newly found urgency. 
He parks in one secluded corner of the station, with just a singular parking space separating you from a parked truck, the driver snoring away happily. 
The tension is thick in the air, inevitably making you feel hot even with the air conditioning on full blast. With no words needed to get the message across, you both unbuckle your seatbelts hastily, finding each other in a heated kiss shortly after. 
Making another grab at Jungkook’s dick - outlining against the confines of his Puma sweats, you urge him to pull them down to his thighs so you can have a taste of your alleged ‘treat’. Likewise, he orders you to lift your skirt up, giving him easier access to have you writing on his fingers alone. 
Scooting closer, you bend over the center console, taking Jungkook’s length in your hands. You place a tentative kiss on the tip before diving in, taking his cock inside your mouth. Jungkook lets out a guttural groan at the sensation, taking your hair into his hands, forming a makeshift ponytail on your head. 
“You’re so fucking hot, you know that right?” His head throws back as you take him to the hilt, the tip hitting the back of your throat. At his compliment, you swallow and as you watch Jungkook visibly shudder, you give yourself a mental pat on the back. 
As you continue to bob up and down Jungkook’s length, your hand travels between your legs, fingers easily finding your nether bud. With Jungkook starting to buck his hips upwards, helping you with your task, you quicken the pace of the fingers toying with your clit. You’re so close, but you’re doubtful you’ll even get to orgasm, considering your perched precariously over the console - definitely an uncomfortable position for you to orgasm in. 
Jungkook senses your discomfort and tells you to sit down, and you’ll both do this together. As soon as you get seated, you scoot closer to the middle, when Jungkook’s hand extends to return its attention to your dripping cunt. You give Jungkook’s erection stands tall, likewise calling for attention. Heeding to its silent call, you wrap your fingers around his shaft, stroking his length languidly. 
For a full minute, you both stay like that, trying to get each other to orgasm. Jungkook’s breathing gets labored by the second - the tell-tale signs he’s getting close. As your hand momentarily leaves his dick to massage his balls, his phone blares, startling you both out of your wits. 
Letting out an annoyed huff, he grabs the phone and switches mute button down then thrusting the device somewhere on the dashboard. Pretending as if nothing happened, you continue your handjob until Jungkook can’t take it any longer, pulling you up from your seat and telling you to come and sit on his lap. 
As soon as Jungkook pushes his seat back, you crawl over to his side, unceremoniously sitting on his lap, gyrating your hips as you slide your wet folds against the muscular expanse  of his thigh. You’re almost there, Jungkook taking your breasts in his hands for more stimulation - that is until his phone vibrates loudly against the surface of the dashboard. 
“You should probably get that,” you pull away, retreating to your seat: cockblocked for the second time. You check the dashboard for his phone, and get a glimpse of the caller’s ID on his screen. Eunkyung. 
You place the device into Jungkook’s hands yourself. 
“It’s your girlfriend calling.”
© hhyungz 2020. All rights reserved.
448 notes · View notes
simpsiren · 4 years
Text
closer to you
lee jeno x reader
main masterlist
the sequel
Tumblr media
description. you’re in a 2 year relationship with jaemin. the two of you know very well that you arent each other’s soulmates but you still felt that jaemin was the right one for you. that is until you are celebrating your 2 year anniversary with jaemin that memories of you being with someone else in your so called “past life” starts coming back to you, as if wanting to make you realise that your soulmate is still out there.
genre. soulmate au, strangers to lovers au, fluff and angst
warnings. none? except for the fact that reader becomes violent in their words when they’re stressed i guess
a/n. literally got this idea from the flashback tiktoks thats been appearing in my fyp. like ive seen it so many times that i just had to write about it HAHA alrighty thats all enjoyy :D
Tumblr media
when the idea of soulmates was first represented to humans, humans deeply believed in it, and would follow the idea of it religiously to find the one that they are truly meant to be with. however, now in the modern day, the idea of soulmates is slowly disappearing. people still believe that the number engraved on the side of their right foot is the time and date that they’ll meet their soulmates, but people of this generation start ignoring that fact, marrying someone that isnt even their soulmate. it left their actual soulmate to either die alone, or having to force themselves to love and marry someone else other than their soulmate.
and now here you are, surrounded by your friends with jaemin sitting next to you, your boyfriend of two years who’s number on the side of his foot does not match yours.
“blow out the candles already!” you hear johnny screaming. you and jaemin turn to look at each other at the same time, giving a smile before blowing out the two candles on the red velvet cheesecake that signified your two year relationship with jaemin.
you laugh loudly as everyone claps for the two of you. jaemin quickly places a peck on your cheek, making everyone smile widely. “i love you.” jaemin whispers into your ear.
“i love you too.”
Tumblr media
“do you really not care who your actually soulmate is? you know very well jaemin isnt yours.” you purse your lips into a thin line as you find jaehyun leaning against the doorframe of your bedroom.
“does it look like i care? who the hell even cares? ill be with who i wanna be! i aint gonna follow some ‘oh you’re destined to be with this guy’ type bullshit.” you giggle to yourself as you took a sip the whiskey in hand, despite already being in a very drunken state.
jaehyun walks over to you and snatches the glass away from you. you whine and beg for it back, but you know all too well that jaehyun is not going to give you what you want. you let out a huff in response.
“my god, evaline. how drunk can you be?” jaehyun takes a seat on the chair that faces your bed, in which you are currently rolling on and mumbling to yourself about god knows what.
jaehyun sighs as he looks at you. he’s been your friend for almost forever yet he still cant get over the fact that no matter how hard he tries to persuade you that jaemin isnt your soulmate, you give zero fucks about it.
“i really hope he comes in your dreams or something. if i can’t convince you, then why isnt the world doing anything about it?” jaehyun whispers to himself, resting his chin on his palm as his elbow is placed on the arm rest of the chair.
Tumblr media
you wake up with a sharp pain in your head. you wince as you slowly tried to sit up straight. you rub your eyes and try looking around your room. everything is normal, except for the fact that jaehyun is sleeping on your chair. you shrug your shoulders as you let out a long sigh and stare at the door in front of you, spacing out for a little. after at least five minutes of you doing nothing and staring off into who knows what, you gather up your strength to stand up from your bed. you stagger your way over to jaehyun.
“jae, wake up already. make me something to sober up- ouch!”
your foot suddenly hurt, making you stumble back and fall onto the floor. you flinched in fear when you realise the number on your foot is glowing. you scream in pain as you feel as though something thin and sharp is constantly stabbing your foot. the spinning in your head only made it worse. jaehyun wakes up from all your screaming and drops down on the floor to assist you quickly.
“evaline? eva! what’s wrong? wait why’s it glowing..” jaehyun eyes travel from your scrunched up face to your leg, noticing the number that’s glowing.
suddenly, your vision became blurry. you lost sight of what’s happening around you. you dont see your room and jaehyun in front of you anymore. you struggled as you try to squint your eyes to get your vision to be clear. it took awhile for your vision to come back. and when it did, something wasnt right.
it was like you were having a flashback. a flashback to a time you were unfamiliar with. you didn’t remember experiencing it at all. but the flasback looked like memories that you feel a sudden strong connection with.
the flashback was vivid. you couldn’t tell exactly what was going on. you saw a guy, estimated to be around your age, who’s smiling widely till his eyes form a thin line and holding up a polaroid camera to your point of view. you heard him laugh as snaps a picture and the camera’s flash shined your view. you soon focused your vision again onto the guy. he’s waiting for the film to develop. and that’s all you saw. a small snippet of a far distant memory which you arent even sure if it happened.
after that, you snapped out of your odd trance. you feel jaehyun shaking your shoulders with the look of extreme concern on your face. you bring your hand up to your head and scratch it slowly as you tilt your head in awe. jaehyun stops his actions as looks at you wierdly.
“what the fuck did i just experience?” you mumble to yourself, trying to process what you just went through. you look up from the floor to see jaehyun blinking his eyes rapidly.
“you saw what?”
you were this close to slapping jaehyun in the face.
“how many times do i have to fucking repeat myself?! i got a flashback of a memory of some random dude that i dont even know about!”
jaehyun’s mouth remains open in shock and confusion. it took him a few seconds to process your words. and when it did, he places both his hands on the table.
“its a sign.” your forehead creases as you look at him weirdly.
“the fuck you just say?” you pick up your fork and stab it into your freshly cooked fried chicken meal.
“is this the first time you experience it?” jaehyun asks you as he takes a sip of water. you took a moment to think about it.
“yeah it is.” you breathe out. jaehyun only nodded his head. he starts thinking about what he wished for that night had something to do with what happened to you.
“you know what? forget it. i need to meet up with jaemin for our date. ill see you around.” you finish what’s left on your plate, waving to jaehyun before leaving the restaurant.
jaehyun watches your back as you slowly disappear into the distance. “it cant be... can it?” jaehyun shakes his head and continues eating.
Tumblr media
“hey, babe. how was lunch with jaehyun?” jaemin wraps his arm around your waist as he leans down to peck your lips.
“it was good. let’s get ice cream.” you give off a wide smile and dragged jaemin to the famous ice cream shop that you were dying to try.
by the time you were halfway to finishing your ice cream, it was already 8pm. you’re weekly ice cream date with jaemin never fails to be extended as your chats with him grow longer and longer with every date.
as jaemin was talking, your mind goes back to the time you had that odd flashback. you wonder what it meant, or whats the significance of it. why did that suddenly happen to you? what can you do to make it go away? because for all you know, you have everything you need right here, in front of you. you had jaemin.
“eva? hello~?” jaemin waves his hand in front of you to snap you back into reality. you shake your head vigorously. “oh shit im sorry jaemin what did you say?” jaemin smiles softly as he repeats over what he say.
it was about 10pm and you decided it was finally time to go home. you would have taken the train alone but jaemin insisted on accompanying you home and going back by himself after. you and jaemin were walking down the street that will lead to your apartment when jaemin sudden opens his mouth to ask you something.
“did you ever believe about the soulmate thing?” you stop walking and turn your body to face jaemin. jaemin does the same, shoving his hands in his pockets.
you shrug your shoulder and placed your weight on one leg. “i used to, but i slowly started to think it was ridiculous and that i should be able to love who i want, not someone im destined to be with.” you reply, slowly reaching your hand out to run your hand through jaemin’s hair. he smiles at your touch and pulls you in with your other arm, hugging you gently.
“im glad to be the one that you love, despite the fact that im not who you’re destined to be with.” jaemin strokes your hair and digs his head into the crook of your neck. you rub his back slowly. “me too.” you kiss jaemin on the cheek and pull away, smiling softly. “come on, we’re almost at my apartment.” your hands trailed down to meet jaemin’s, interlocking your fingers with his and you both continued walking down the long street.
however, for the first time, it felt as though jaemin’s hand didn’t sit right with yours, like his hand didnt belong to fit in yours. you look down at the interlocking hands. you never felt this way before. why did it occur to you only now?
“something on your mind, eva?” you hear jaemin ask. you shot your gaze up from your jaemin’s hand to his eyes, shaking your head as you faked a smile.
weird
Tumblr media
a week has passed since that weird encounter of yours. you couldn’t get it out of your head. every hour of the day you’ll spare a few minutes thinking about it. why did you feel so connected to it? you felt eager to know about what i meant. why did a few seconds of experiencing a distant memory would be etched into your mind as you constantly replay what you saw that time?
you found it funny how you were already so deep in your thoughts early in the morning. you lay in bed looking through your social medias for awhile before getting out of bed to head to the living room.
you see jaehyun sitting on the couch, immensely concentrated on whatever’s on the television screen. you take a seat beside jaehyun, looking down, you see him munching on a bowl of popcorn.
“popcorn for breakfast. really?” you raise an eyebrow as jaehyun nods his head and offers the bowl. you take it regardless of your comment and stuffed popcorn in your mouth.
“you didn’t shower yet?” jaehyun asks. you only shrug in reply. jaehyun looks at you with a disguested look.
“i bet you didn’t shower either, now did you?” jaehyun kept quiet as his eyes widened yet still glued onto the screem. you observed his reaction and scoff, rolling your eyes. “idiot.” jaehyun glances at you and chukles, reaching out to take a handful of popcorn.
“what are you even watching?”
“a movie that i didn’t finish last night.” that explains the popcorn then.
you focus your mind on the movie, despite not knowing what it’s about. everything seemed normal until you see a couple suddenly come on screen. they’re apparently at a amusement park.
almost instantly, you lost sight of your surroundings. oh no.. it’s happening again. you shut your eyes tightly as your vision became blurry once again. you opened your eyes widely to find yourself at an amusement park. a flashback is now occuring, this time it was different.
the flashback. it wasnt a memory you’re unfamiliar with. its jaemin. you see jaemin come into view. it looked like you were taken back to your third date where jaemin brought you to an amusement park. you see him running in front of you happily. jaemin was about to turn around, and you remembered that exactly after that he smiled at you. but he doesn’t. you realise that its not even jaemin.
the one you’re seeing now is the guy from your previous flashback. the polaroid guy. he smiled the exact same way he did when he took the picture of you in the flashback. the guy reaches out to take your hand and you’re being pulled towards him. why does it feel like you’ve seen him somewhere? or maybe you haven’t, but feel like you would some time in the future.
“eva? god, evaline! wake up please!” you hear jaehyun’s voice.
“did it happened agai-“
“it happened again.”
you look around. everything was back to normal. you look at jaehyun. but his eyes were fixated on your foot, he looks shocked. you slowly tilt your head down to look at the number on your right foot. it changed. the number.. reshuffled themselves?
“you’re seeing that too right..?”
you nod your head slowly. its getting more weird. the number on your foot said that you’ll meet your “soulmate” on february 12th, 2020 at 7:06pm. but now, it changed itself to become december 6th, 2020 at 2:19am.
basically it went from 12.02.2020 19:06 to 06.12.2020 02:19
“did i space out again?” you look up at jaehyun as he nod slowly, still looking at your foot in shock. you couldn’t blame him. what happen? did it somehow extended the time you’re about to meet your soulmate? why did it happen? what does it mean?
you told jaehyun what happen. and he almost fainted. you let out a long sigh.
“im telling you its a sign. probably the guy you’re seeing is your soulmate.” jaehyun says lazily and he muched on some strawberry pocky.
“then why was jaemin in the flashback too? isnt it weird?” jaehyun nods his head quickly. he puts down the pack of pocky on his lap and blinks a couple of times. you see the gears turning in his head as you assume that he’s trying to come up with an explanation.
“maybe jaemin’s tied to the guy? like maybe jaemin knows him. or the dude’s from your past life and somehow jaemin is representing the guy in your present life.” jaehyun looks down to see his pocky was stolen from you. you nod your head and you continuously stuffed each stick into your mouth and eating them. “urgh i dont fucking know what to do about this!” you groan in frustration. suddenly, something hits you.
“wait. what’s today’s date?”
jaehyun lifts his phone up to check. “30th november. why?” jaehyun asks. “oh wait.”
“you’re telling me i have a full week until i meet my so called soulmate that i dont even know where ill meet him?!”
you scoff in disbelief. jaehyun doesnt respond, only staring at your face like he’s seen a ghost.
“can i somehow break someone’s neck and slam it on the wall for like i dont know, 5 hours?!”
no reply from jaehyun once again.
“oh for fuck’s sake i cant do this! im heading to johnny’s tea shop for my depression tea. meet me there if you want, i’ll probably be there the whole day as my head constantly spins.”
you quickly got up from the couch and get ready. jaehyun sees you coming out of your room with a hoodie and plain wide legged jeans. you only grab your phone and keys and waved jaehyun goodbye before leaving the apartment. jaehyun sighs.
“i might have set her temper circuit short.” jaehyun whispers to himself and sighs, getting off the couch as well to head over to johnny’s tea shop. “literally could have drove her there but oh well.”
Tumblr media
when you enter the shop, johnny face lit up with a huge smile. he runs over to hug you but his smile soon fades away and into a confused look when he sees how pissed you look.
“that’s very... interesting.” johnny comments. you sigh and nod, fiddling with the teaspoon in your drink. “yeah well its not going to be fun once jaemin knows.” johnny stops in his actions and looks up at you. your eyes glanced at johnny before tilting your head up from the drink that wrapped around your hands.
“yes i haven’t told jaemin. i didn’t think it meant anything at first but now...”
“you have to tell him! soon! its a sign!” johnny exclaims. you smacked your hand onto your forehead lightly. “i’ve heard that phrase countless of times by jaehyun and now you too? can you please explain?” you whine, scratching your head vigorously as you argrily take a sip of tea.
you were stressed, very stressed. life was going so well until this happened. you dont know who the mystery guy is. you dont know why he’s “memories” with you suddenly come back, especially when you’re in a really intimate relationship with jaemin. the same question keeps repeating in your head over and over each day and it gets more stressful when you try to think of an answer for them.
“no no listen. it happened to my relative. she was 3 months away from marrying her boyfriend who’s number doesnt match hers. and then she started getting weird flashbacks and she said that the number on her foot changed so that she wouldn’t miss a chance to meet her soulmate in the future instead of the past. and the so called memories? they’re memories that you’ll make with your soulmate once you meet them. the world is trying to make you realise that the guy in your flashbacks is your soulmate and not jaemin.”
you kept silent. so what jaehyun said was right. it was a sign to encourage you to find your real soulmate instead of settling for the one you arent meant to be with. you let out a sigh of relief as you finally know the background information to your whole situation.
“that’s a lot to take in.. how am i suppose to tell jaemin?” you frown as you look out the window. you love jaemin, very much. but to be honest, for the whole 2 years of your relationship with him, everything felt perfect, yet something was off. you never managed to pin point what, until now.
“oh i texted him just now when you were talking to me and he’s coming since he wants to see you.” great. you arent mentally prepared to tell jaemin yet and he’s going to arrive here in 15 minutes.
Tumblr media
“evaline! johnny texted me saying you were here and i immediately rushed over.” jaemin comes up from behind and kisses your cheek. you purse your lips into a thin line and you look to johnny leaving his seat. he nods his head, in a way to give you confidence to tell jaemin about the whole ordeal.
“jaemin.. i have to tell you something.” when jaemin takes the seat where johnny sat, you reach your hand out to grab his, slowly soothing your thumb over his skin. “mhm yeah what?” you look up from his hand to his face.
“ive been getting um.. signs lately. flashbacks. jaehyun told me that the guy, who’s always the main subject of my flashbacks could be my soulmate. and i might be meeting him soon, on 6th december.” you whisper to him, biting your lip.
jaemin swallows his own saliva, blinking at you a few times as he tries to process what you said. he lets out a long sigh and painfully puts on a soft smile.
“i knew it was going to happen to one of us sooner. ive heard about the flashbacks. its bound to happen sooner or later.” you nod your head in response.
“im sorry, jaemin. i love you very much-“
“its fine. i understand. im glad the world made you realise that you’re soulmate is still wondering around somewhere, and that it isnt me. im happy i got to spend 2 years loving you.. it made me feel good.” you interlocked your fingers with his, smiling softly before letting go.
you could tell jaemin was hurt. like a knife was stabbed into his heart. you see it behind his smile, his eyes. you knew him all too well.
“we’ll still be friends. and i hope you’re soulmate will come to you.”
jaemin only nods. you lean in and give one last passionate kiss on the cheek before hearing the bell above the door ringing, and noticing that jaehyun has arrived.
Tumblr media
december 3rd, 2020. you’re three days away to meeting your soulmate. where? you werent sure.
“good morning, evaline.” you hear jaehyun say. you just got out of bed and you were walking to the kitchen when you see what jaehyun was doing. he’s reading a book. your vision went blank.
its another flashback. you start to mentally prepare yourself as yoh want to absorb as much information as possible on your soulmate in the small portion of the memories.
“the book’s is interesting.” you’re hearing your soulmates voice. you try to figure out if you’ve heard it or not, but shake it out of your head when yoh remember your goal of gathering information. you registered the tone of his voice.
he’s sitting on a bed with round gold glasses on, in his pajamas.
your soulmate laughs. the same way he did the first time. he turns the book to you and it showed his phone betweem the pages of the book, resting there. “just joking!” you hear him say. you take a look at the wallpaper of your soulmate’s lockscreen. it was a picture of him kissing your cheek. it looked oddly the same as the picture you and jaemin once took together. however, there was a text above the picture. evaline heather and lee jeno
lee jeno. that’s the name of your soulmate.
Tumblr media
december 5th, 2020. you’re starting to mentally prepare yourself. you dont know where you’re about to meet him. you tried coming up with all possibilities. to be frank, you were more excited about whether the places you thought of might be the place you meet your soulmate rather than being nervous.
the three flashbacks you had. it felt all too familiar. like you’ve known this lee jeno person forever. you feel the connection each time.
when the clock strikes 12am, your mind unknowingly decides to go to the park. the park where you and jaemin first met. you dont know why. it felt like your body was urging you to go there. you lazily got ready and headed out the door, of course you told jaehyun about your outing before leaving the apartment.
you had your hands shoved into your pockets with your hoodie on as you yawned. you breathed in the night air, admiring it dearly. when you reached the park, a quick glance at your phone told you that its 2am. you sigh and took a seat on the bench mindlessly after walking around the park.
you sat there for a few minutes, looking up into the sky and staring off into the distance. suddenly, you felt a presence next to you. you turn your head over to see a guy.
“you seemed pretty lonely so i brought ice cream-“
that voice.
“what’s your name?” you interrupt
the guy pauses and smiles. his face, his smile. its just like the one in your flashback.
“lee jeno. you?”
you didn’t reply. its him. he’s your soulmate, he’s here.
“why does it feel like ive known you for a very long time..?” you slowly started to ask as your eyes looked at him up and down.
jeno chuckles. “maybe..” you see jeno taking off his slipper on his right foot and lifting up his foot. you see the exact number that’s engraved on your foot.
“im your soulmate.”
139 notes · View notes
imaginethathaikyuu · 4 years
Note
How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr
What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^
Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))
What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.
Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.
What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.
What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….
Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)
Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.
Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).
Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.
Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.
Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”
so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D
- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]
- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 
- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 
- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333
- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!
- gotta love tsukishima <3
- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)
- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 
- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 
- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333
29 notes · View notes
chikkou · 4 years
Note
Will you talk more about Lisa?? Lisa the character specifically but also your feelings on his feelings about Buddy? I just thought your analysis was so good and I want to hear other thoughts you have on her.
yall are honestly spoiling me rn sdhkfdjfks this is like a dream come true 
i already got into the stuff with buddy in this ask here but i have a LOT to say about lisa and the connection between her and buddy so u better settle in!
ok so firstly ill start with lisa. i played the original lisa game (lisa the first) not long after it first dropped in 2012, and im not even kidding when i said it changed me LMAO.... seeing a story about a girl suffering is nothing new, but austin jorgensens approach to it was so fucking unique. you dont just witness it, you get to EXPERIENCE it right along with her. many stories that involve sexual abuse/rape show or otherwise depict it explicitly for the shock value, which is both disgusting and, in my opinion, extremely fucking exploitative. i feel that it is horrific to dignify an act so deeply evil with screentime. but lisa stood out to me immediately because, even though you know exactly whats going on, the game NEVER shows anything explicit. everything is layered in subtext and symbolism, and austin is fantastic with indirect storytelling, so you learn so much from just a little drop of information. this applies not just to the game proper, but to the character as well.
in case its not clear: i absolutely ADORE lisa. she is my favorite character in all of the games, bar none. its going to sound kind of fucked up, but as a kid around her age going through some fucked up shit, her committing suicide at the end felt like a sort of victory to me. she knew she could never escape from marty or what he was doing to her. he leaks into every single part of her psyche, everything she ever cared about or loved is ruined because of him, and even the vague memory of her mother is completely corrupted, and turned into a muddled version of him. lisa the first also had the added benefit of some religious commentary, as there are crosses all over their home and marty is characterized as an extremely religious man, which i fucking LOVE and wish had come back in the painful, but its an acceptable loss. anyway, lisa committing suicide at the end was an act of defiance against not just marty, but martys god, as suicide is considered a mortal sin in catholicism. lisa knew she’d never be free of marty in life, so she escaped the only way she could; she was defiant to the end.
ive seen people complain that the painful has a bit of a “lost lenore” thing going on, since lisas death seems to fuel the Manpain of both brad and buzzo, but i actually disagree. on the contrary, its just like austin himself said - lisa will never be gone. lisa is ALWAYS there, with brad, and buzzo, and buddy, and marty, and yado, and the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD. i dont necessarily think that there is something paranormal going on in the game, but i AM going to say that, unlike other cases of a girl/woman dying for a mans backstory, lisa isnt just a bittersweet memory they can reflect on and then put away when its convenient for them. she is a presence that is felt throughout the entire game. brad sees her more than once, sometimes watching, sometimes reprimanding him. buzzo is clearly haunted by her, as he cries out to her a few times in the joyful. every character who was directly touched by lisa - brad, marty, and buzzo - calls out to lisa as they die. call it their guilt or call it her actions, but in either case, it is clear that lisa just as significant of a character in the painful as she was in the first, even if she cant always be seen. even in a meta-sense, every game in the series - even the joyful, whose protagonist doesnt even know who she is - is named after her. she is at the center of everything that happens in them. 
that actually brings me to buddy, because i find the dynamic between her and lisa fucking fascinating. as i previously mentioned, brad never talked about his past with buddy, and snaps at her for bringing up his adoptive son dusty (rando), so it goes without saying that she definitely doesnt know who lisa is. in spite of that, though, lisa is a fucking massive part of buddys life, and while she may not know the person herself, i think she is aware that when people (and brad especially) look at her, they arent seeing HER. 
i mentioned it in another post, but even though brad takes it upon himself to raise and “protect” buddy, he seems to almost unwittingly recreate lisas appearance, primarily by allowing her hair to grow long even though he knows what a risk that is to her safety. he also treats buddy in a manner thats incredibly similar to how marty treated lisa (sans sexual abuse, of course) - he insults her, does not let her leave the house at all, and forces her to do unsavory things that no one should ever have to do (in buddys case, this means killing at least two innocent people because brad doesnt want a “weak” daughter). the most literal comparison between buddy and lisa is the fact that they are both very young girls being essentially held captive by their father figures, albeit for different reasons, and both long for freedom from their captors. 
theres also the fact that both buddy and lisa have to deal with misogyny and the effects of rape culture firsthand; they both battle against men who feel entitled to do with them whatever they please, and the threat of ongoing sexual abuse looms heavy over both of their heads. neither one can seek help from anyone; the neighbors in brad and lisas town seem complacent at best, if they even know what is happening to lisa at all, and buddys only allies (sans rando) are long dead by the start of the joyful. this is not just a hypothetical or a distant possibility. this is the real, tangible fate that will befall them if they cant somehow secure their safety.
sadly, because lisa wasnt playable in either of the rpgs, we dont know if she was able to fight as brad was, but it is highly probable that she had the innate skill but was never able to learn it (as marty highly discouraged them from learning “their grandfathers karate,” and seemed disgusted whenever brad did so). however, she did have ONE weapon she could make use of, and this is a weapon buddy ends up using, as well - her femininity. she became close to bernard (aka buzzo), made him fall in love with her, and then used him as a last ditch effort to stop martys abuse by having him mutilate her face. im not saying lisa never cared about bernard - in fact, i think she DID really love and care for him - but her own fucked up experiences with “love” meant she really couldnt understand what it was supposed to be like, or that it was wrong to manipulate the people you care about. lisa did very few things wrong - it pretty much just stops at the maiming of the cat and her manipulation of bernard - but she knew that she would never get away from marty without some kind of drastic action being taken, and scarring herself was her last ditch effort before ultimately committing suicide.
buddy ends up taking a somewhat similar tack in the joyful, and like in lisas case, its simultaneously resourceful and horrific. one of buddys key moves in the joyful is to flash the enemy (which the player obviously doesnt see) in order to distract them long enough to get the kill. its fucking horrible and disgusting and makes you feel so dirty, but then, how must buddy feel having to do something like that just to survive? shes just a child, but in a world where almost every man is out to get you, she knows this has to be done to save herself, very much like lisa. unlike in lisas case, though, buddy is successful in securing her safety in this way - lisas effort is for naught, and leads to her committing suicide not very long after. 
in a way, i sort of attribute buddys brutality to lisas omnipresence; all of the men pursuing buddy are just like marty, monsters who would harm a fucking child for their own disgusting ends, and i think that when buzzo said that lisa wouldve loved olathe, what he means is that she would have loved seeing so many horrible men being punished for what theyd done. so in my opinion, buddy carving out a place for herself in olathe by killing all those who would subjugate her seems very much in the mentality lisa would have had. sure, there are some innocents who sadly get roped into it, but that would definitely not be her intention; for example, if buzzo could have practiced amputation without harming a living thing, i dont think lisa would have asked him to practice on the cat. note the LACK of brutality at the beehive and the swamp bar, two of the few peaceful places in the painful and both devoid of predatory men hunting for buddy - lisa has no qualm with any of them. but marty? brad could hardly even get a full sentence out before killing him on the spot. i dont doubt that that has a great deal to do with lisas presence. 
ok i talked for a while LMAO but basically i think that, in a more metatextual sense, lisa and buddys relationship really strikes me as an accurate depiction of generational trauma. of course it was intentional with the more obvious trauma chain (marty to brad to buddy), but the trauma chain of marty to lisa to buddy is rarely ever addressed due to lisa not physically appearing in the painful. however, i believe it may inform buddys actions a great deal more than people realize - after all, buddys experience is unique, but who could understand it better than lisa? who knows that sort of pain, of being alone on an island, the lone woman trapped with a man (or men) who want nothing more than to cause you harm? even without her realizing it, lisa is guiding buddy, encouraging her to take back what is hers no matter the cost, to punish those who would try to take what they want from her. lisa might be dead, but she is a vengeful presence throughout every game, and buddys actions feel like theyre meant not only to save herself, but to avenge lisa, even if she doesnt realize it. at the end of the day, buddy and lisa both get to exact revenge against all the men who have wronged them, and they succeed. they are aggressive, and violent, and selfish, and ANGRY - and they have every fucking right to be. 
26 notes · View notes
marveloustommy · 3 years
Text
Faith chapter 1
Alright guys - this is the first time i’ve written pretty much anything so dont expect it to be that great. Im mostly writing to get my mind off stuff so if you have any requests, feel free to send them in :)  like ive said - i havent really written much so please be nice lol. Im writing this slowly but im also putting it on my wattpad Pounce500, so if it looks familiar thats why! Anyways enjoy the story
Rosie Atwood woke up to the sun shining right into her window. She could hear the movement of her family downstairs as her body fully started to wake. Rosie stretched out and heard the satisfying cracking of her joints, rolling onto her back. Dark brown hair scattered over the pillows while Rosie floundered around in her bed. Rosie’s blaring blue eyes slowly adjusted to the light as she turned to grab her phone. 9:23am     April 12, 2016. Rosie unlocked her phone and went about the daily routine of a teen and checked her social media.
At 19 years old, Rosie was still living at home with her parents. She found not paying rent while trying to figure out what she wanted to do with her life to be the best option, and one she didn’t necessarily mind. Her family consisted of Rosie, her mother, Patty, her father, Derek, and her 2 twin 15 year old brothers, Jace and Matt. Jace was the older of the 2 by a 15 minute delay and would never hesitate to remind his younger brother of the fact. Rosie got along with her family quite well and was always willing to help with her brothers. Ever since Rosie was a kid, she was always like a parental figure to her younger brothers. She loved them dearly.
“ROSIE” she heard Jace yell up the stairs. Damn kid was too lazy to walk up the stairs like a normal person to even see if she was awake. Matty was always the kinder one (and the least lazy). Rosie groaned as she pulled herself out of bed. She could smell breakfast being cooked, her stomach rumbled, thinking of the food she would be eating. Rosie through on a hoodie over her sleep shirt and slowly wandered to the kitchen, where she saw her brothers fighting over a piece of bacon. Reaching in between them, she took it from the twins’ joint grasp and took a bite off the end.
“Rosie, what the hell?” Jace yelled as he watched his older sister easily grab the piece of bacon between 2 fingers and raise her eyebrows at the boys.
“Jace! Language please!” Patty chastised her oldest son before turning back to the stove. Rosie looked around the room in search of her father. For 9:30am on a Tuesday morning – the kids father would be sitting in his seat in the living room watching some rerun of a sports game while sipping a coffee. She took a seat at the table next to Matt.
“Where’s dad?” Rosie turned to her mother, turning herself in her chair to face the women at the stove.
“He got called in to work a little bit today – they’ve been understaffed, and he could always use the overtime hours” Her mother stated. Rosie sighed, this happened often. Her mother used that lie around the twins, but Rosie knew the reason. Her parents never had the greatest relationship, being married young after finding out they were expecting. All to keep Rosie’s grandparents happy. Ever since then, her father has been “working” often in order to get away from the stress of having children that young. Rosie’s parents were high school sweethearts and found out at only 20 years old that they were expecting. Being raised in a religious home caused Derek to marry Patty at only 21. He didn’t regret it – Derek loved his kids, but at only 39, he got easily stressed and would take it out in yelling matches against his wife. The two fought over nothing and everything, and while her parents did a good job raising the kids, a lot of responsibility fell to Rosie.
“Dad was supposed to take us to the new Captain America movie today mom.” Matt stated. The twins had gotten into the Marvel universe after their father had showed them some comics he had found from when he was a kid. The boys had been overjoyed when they found out their father would be taking them to see, hopefully, one of the greatest marvel movies made. Patty looked apologetically to her sons, knowing how bad they had wanted to go.
“How about I take you guys?” Rosie questioned the boys after seeing how genuinely upset they had become at the knowledge of their father’s absence from the day’s events. Rosie didn’t necessarily hate the movies – she just never got invested enough to call herself a fan. Sure, she had seen all the movies once, due to having obsessed younger brothers, but she never fully paid attention to care a lot about the plot. Both her brothers heads shot up to look at her after she popped the question.
“Who wants their sister to take them to a movie?” Jace replied looking somewhat offended at the question. Rosie scrunched her nose up at the boy.
“Do you want to see the movie or not?” She replied to the stubborn kid.
“Could you just maybe……. not sit with us?” Jace came up with a compromise, really wanting to see the movie, but not wanting to be caught with his older sister. Rosie rolled her eyes but agreed, which made the boy jump up out of their seats to cheer. Rosie looked to her mother who was smiling at her daughter. Rosie and the boys excused themselves to get ready for the great day ahead of them.
 Rosie took her time getting ready. It was only 10am, and the movie didn’t start until 3pm. She had plenty of time to get her self ready and looking presentable. A knock sounded through her room and Rosie walked towards it.
“We need to leave by 12:30 to make sure we can get tickets and get good seats, Rose” Matt spoke quickly when she opened her door.
“Why do we need to leave that early? I’m sure the tickets won’t be gone that fast, right?” Rosie asked in confusion. It was just a movie? Why would it be sold out nearly 3 hours before the showtime. Despite her confusion, she agreed to the curly haired 15 year old before rushing to the shower. She now only had about 2 hours before they needed to leave. Once Rosie was done in the shower, she threw on a pair of ripped jeans and a clean hoodie before starting on her makeup. She filled her eyebrows, added a little mascara and a nice wing of eyeliner to either eye before sliding on her glasses and fixing her hair. Both Rosie and Matt had been cursed with her father’s thick curly hair, where Jace got the straight thin hair of their mother. She applied some curl cream before adding a bit of gel to hold her curls in place as the day went on. She ran downstairs and threw on her black VANS before grabbing her purse and the $30 her mother gave her to get into the theatre. She yelled at the boys before saying goodbye to her mother and pushed the twins out the door. The drive to the theater wasn’t bad – but parking was another story. She drove around the block 3 times before finding a space and quickly parking the car. The 3 Atwood siblings made their way to the theater, heading inside to get tickets and seats.
“Hi, 1 adult and 2 teens for Civil War please?” Rosie smiled at the older man behind the counter. He nodded and rang the siblings through. Once she paid the man he swiveled the screen towards her to pick their seats. The 2 boys immediately picked seats as close to the middle of the theater, while the older girl picked a seat up in the top row of the theater.
“You’ll be in cinema number 2, up on the right there” The man smiled as the 3 set off to watch the newest movie in the marvel universe.
4 notes · View notes
aj521z · 4 years
Note
EVERY SINGLE QUESTION! ANSWER THEM NOW K PLZ TKS
(I HATE YOU MA’AM)
1. What is you middle name? - Crackhead
2. How old are you? - apprx 8
3. When is your birthday? - April 7 
4. What is your zodiac sign? - Dumb bitchasaurus 
5. What is your favorite color? - Blue. Like turquoise/aqua 
6. What’s your lucky number? - I have no luck Im gay
7. Do you have any pets? - 2 beautiful fucking dogs that the loml and I die for them immediately and kill everyone to defend them. Also a cat who is a wack boy 
8. Where are you from? - SoCal 
9. How tall are you? - 5′7 
10. What shoe size are you? - 10-11 (lol big feets)
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? - probably like 10 and they’re all converse 
12. What was your last dream about? - sleep paralysis shadow demon(:
13. What talents do you have? - falling for girls who leave me 
14. Are you psychic in any way? - No im an oblivious fucking fool
15. Favorite song? - I have 69420 (two that have a VERY special place in my heart though in memory of my little brother are “Comfortably Numb” by Pink Floyd (his fave song) and “Since I’ve Been Loving You” Led Zeppelin <3 
16. Favorite movie? - oooooofff The Lion King is fave disney. Star wars and LOTR are some of my faves
17. Who would be your ideal partner? - Christen Press (only requirement must love dogs)
18. Do you want children? - Pending, but yes dog children
19. Do you want a church wedding? - LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
20. Are you religious? - yes @tobinheats-me-up​ and I have our own religion, bless JVN
21. Have you ever been to the hospital? - YES YIKE im an injury mess
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? - I got chased by the popo but escaped HAHAHAHHA
23. Have you ever met any celebrities? - Lindsey Horan and CP hello ma’ams
24. Baths or showers? - Showers I dont have time move im gay
25. What color socks are you wearing? - none hahaha
26. Have you ever been famous? - Im famous for being a stupid ass clown
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? - fuck no ( @frankarnstein said “no not even a smol” and im dead)
28. What type of music do you like? - mmmm mostly everything but especially rock (indie, classic, industrial, punk, grunge, folk, all of it)
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? - yes 💀
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? - one to two
31. What position do you usually sleep in? - back or side I toss and turn bc I have anxiety lol
32. How big is your house? - I live here so infinite abyss
33. What do you typically have for breakfast? - usually fruit and eggs
34. Have you ever fired a gun? - yes once at a shooting range
35. Have you ever tried archery? - yes! my aunt actually competes and she taught me hahahha 
36. Favorite clean word? - gay and yikes
37. Favorite swear word? - fuck
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? - 78 hours i hallucinated 
39. Do you have any scars? - too many hahaha physically and emotionally 
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? - soranon (only OGs will remember hahahaha)
41. Are you a good liar? - Depends, but usually no hahahah
42. Are you a good judge of character? - I thought I was but I dont know anymore tbh. Ppl are unpredictable
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? - Yes ask @hvafaenerdette​ I love accents ahahahah
44. Do you have a strong accent? - I’ve been told by internationals that i have a strong american accent but idk ahahaha
45. What is your favorite accent? - Tobin Heath skater girl
46. What is your personality type? - Dumb bitch 
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? - idk like shoes?
48. Can you curl your tongue? - 😏 please
49. Are you an innie or an outie? - why is this a question wtf ahahhaha  
50. Left or right handed? - Right hand, Left foot
51. Are you scared of spiders? - No. Unless they fly down from my fan while I’m trying to play guitar and I’m very drunk and feel attacked
52. Favorite food? - All of it
53. Favorite foreign food? - Everything 
54. Are you a clean or messy person? - depends on my mental state((((((((:
55. Most used phrased? - for fucks sake and dumb bitch probably 
56. Most used word? - clown
57. How long does it take for you to get ready? - 5-10 minutes 
58. Do you have much of an ego? - No, I’m a clown I know my place 
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? - suck I aint tryin to break my teeth lol
60. Do you talk to yourself? - bitch pls ahahahah ofc 
61. Do you sing to yourself? - Yes hahahha
62. Are you a good singer? - Maybe? hahaha
63. Biggest Fear? - Jill Ellis 
64. Are you a gossip? - Nope. I am bearer of all secrets hahahah
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? - Tournament of Nations 2017 USA vs. Brazil
66. Do you like long or short hair? - long on me but I dont care on other people
67. Can you name all 50 states of America? - I cant geography, but think I could get most ahahaha
68. Favorite school subject? - bio
69. Extrovert or Introvert? - Depends who I’m with, but usually introvert unless I fuck w you ahhahaha
70. Have you ever been scuba diving? - Snorkling yes, but not scuba diving
71. What makes you nervous? - WHAT DOESNT LOL
72. Are you scared of the dark? - No 
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? - only if it’s serious 
74. Are you ticklish? - Not really hahaha
75. Have you ever started a rumor? - No 
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? - Yesssss
77. Have you ever drank underage? - Lol do you know me
78. Have you ever done drugs? - 🥦 💨 @tobinheats-me-up
79. Who was your first real crush? - Gwen Stefani I think? ahhahah I love No Doubt
80. How many piercings do you have? - 0
81. Can you roll your Rs? - yes ma’am
82. How fast can you type? - very fast 
83. How fast can you run? - I cant, but I can walk very fast, move bitch im gay
84. What color is your hair? - light brown
85. What color is your eyes? - depends on lighting either blue or green
86. What are you allergic to? - homophobia 
87. Do you keep a journal? - I write songs instead hahaha
88. What do your parents do? - judge my “lifestyle” 
89. Do you like your age? - yes hahahah
90. What makes you angry? - men
91. Do you like your own name? - yes it’s v gay
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? - Christen and Tobin 
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? - ive been laughing at this for a minute a “a boy a girl” 
94. What are you strengths? - being gay
95. What are your weaknesses? - girls
96. How did you get your name? - my parents gave it to me? hahahaha
97. Were your ancestors royalty? - cereally 
98. Do you have any scars? - This hasnt changed but again yes both physically and emotionally (:
99. Color of your bedspread? - blue with anchors bc it’s 
100. Color of your room? - tan and one dark blue wall
23 notes · View notes
gobsnacc · 4 years
Text
Im just gonna put this out here because its something that drives me batty
We need to stop throwing out the words
Racist
Transphobe
Homophobe
Antisemite
When we mean someones ACTIONS or something THEY DID was problematic. Especially if you dont know anything else about the person beforehand and all you have to go off of is a snippet of information.
FIRST
1. Inform them their actions were one of the above
2. why it was one of the above (maybe with examples?)
3. how to fix it so they dont do something like that again.
KINDLY IF YOU CAN. (Some people seriously may not have known what they did was wrong and i cant stress this enough , people react better to positive interactions and are more likely to see it your way and care about that cause! Which is what you want)
If they dont change, or if ALL of their actions thereafter (or before, if you have proper proof) are against someone in that way, then yes theres a damn good chance they are one of those horrible things and calling them one is a safe assumption. Also avoidence would be reccomended.
I cant just go around calling everyone who likes jkr or tolkien or cthulu guy, likes goblins the traditional way, uses the word jew, an antisemite.
I can inform them these authors were or use antisemetic tropes, that goblins are steeped in antisemetic history and that the word jew is considered by some hebrew folk or practicing jewish folk, a slur. And that they should be careful and recognize these things as what they are and hope they dont emulate them. I gotta at least give em a chance to do better first.
If they refuse to change or double down on their actions for whatever reason i can then say they are an antisemite. Or homophobe or transphobe or racist.
BUT dont assume and label before you actually have VALID proof.
Because words like those when said against someone, either in anger or out of spite, especially if that person ISNT that thing, can be so fucking damaging to their reputation, and thats not ok on your part.
Thats how you make more enemies or get people AGAINST your cause. And thats not what we want. Anger and labaling has its place, but it should never be what we respond with immediately.
Thats just my two cents as a jewish/hebrew (racial wise not jewish/religious) minority.
To make a long story short:
If someones actions are problematic, teach them why and give them a chance to change them before you go throwing damaging/life changing labels at them.
7 notes · View notes
transcendencism · 4 years
Note
yknow playing the knight storyline again made me wonder (apologies if u already posted something like this before 😓) but what are your thoughts on the knight companions? does hyroh's opinion of them differ ?
omg i love this question actually bc i dont think i’ve ever gone thru hyroh’s opinions of the companions all in one post (tho i have talked about them separately) also the knight’s crew, overall, is one of my favorites because i love all of them except for two, those last two being doc and rusk. i hate doc but i think rusk is fine and i don’t have any issues with him, i just don’t LOVE him y’know. also good timing actually for u asking this since im replaying hyroh’s class campaign again lol
teeseven:
i’d be heartless if i said i didn’t like teeseven. i love them, they’re the best droid in the franchise next to the hunter turned yodito’s babysitter droid from the mandalorian. and artoo. also YES i spell the droids’ names like that instead of typing out the numbers i think its cute.
teeseven is just a pure good bean that has never done anything wrong. however it does get just a tad frustrating with how goody-two-shoes lightsided they are, but it doesn’t bug me THAT much because i stopped caring about my companions’ approval/disapproval things a long time ago.
hyroh and i are pretty much on the same page when it comes to teeseven. that’s his droid buddy that he built himself (yes im retconning teeseven’s backstory i like my idea better). teeseven was hyroh’s first friend besides his siblings (except in the ryrohverse. i think hyroh was still in the process of building teeseven when he and ry first met), so they’re super close. i think he probably ends up bringing teeseven with him when he leaves the jedi order.
kira:
i love kira! i dont really have any complicated feelings about her she’s just good! i love the whole “used to be a child of the emperor, escaped, lived on the street for awhile” thing i think it’s very creative. and how she and master kiiwiks will never not make me laugh.
both she and hyroh start out really similar. they’ve got grand visions of saving the galaxy and being important, and they’re not exactly orthodox jedi either. hyroh’s a bit more serious about it than she is, and sometimes he’ll get a little upset if she cracks a joke or snarks when it doesn’t feel appropriate (like when she called the spaceport on ord mantell “seedy” ... oh he didnt take that super well). they’re friends but they butt heads ESPECIALLY when it comes to the jedi.
the thing that comes to mind is kira’s conversation about how the jedi should have more control in the senate; hyroh was very “what the fuck” about it, but not for the reason you’re probably thinking. he was less disturbed by the idea of having a religious order in charge of the state and more disturbed that it’d further separate the jedi from the people they’ve sworn to help. though hyroh is extremely anti-imperial, sometimes to the point where it’s almost comical, the reason why he became a jedi wasn’t to fight sith. the person he named himself after, hyroh kashik, was a cathar jedi who stood between his people and the mandalorians during the battle of cathar. that and the cultural attitudes he grew up with of sharing what you have with others, always lending a hand, defending the vulnerable, etc. as well as master le’raya’s own ideology shaped what hyroh believes the jedi ought to be.
so uh . yeah . i rambled but kira and hyroh are good friends but they disagree and they Argue very passionately about it.
doc k’tasi:
i just pretend doc doesnt exist in my canon, and k’tasi takes his place instead. like kira, hyroh and k’tasi end up being really good friends, but they too disagree on what the jedi’s roles should be. except it’s ironic because k’tasi starts out as a very idealist jedi that clings to the code but doesn’t question it because the jedi REALLY don’t like questions and alternative points of view, but hyroh opens him up to another way of looking at it.
k’tasi eventually comes to a similar conclusion that hyroh does: the jedi spend way too much of their resources and time fighting the sith and completely neglecting the people they say they’re defending. the difference is that k’tasi believes that the jedi can change to suit what he thinks they ought to be, and so even when he’s away from the order during KOTFEET, he still considers himself a jedi, and he tries to create his Own jedi order so to speak.
hyroh doesn’t think that the jedi can change to be what he thinks they should be. individuals can, after all his master, k’tasi, and himself all adopted that mindset of putting people first and not basing their life’s goals on defeating the sith, but he doesn’t think the jedi order as an organization can wholly change to be that way. in fact, he thinks that the mainline jedi ideology doesn’t even support that mindset because there’s just so much focus on the light-dark binary.
(of course, there’s irony in that because hyroh works along with the SIS and the sixth line on a number of occasions. that’s not ALL he does tho, and he doesn’t immediately go from the jedi order to working with the SIS. the first thing he does after leaving is he goes back to ord mantell and tries to help out with the situation there.)
rusk:
dont really have any interesting opinions on him. he’s just kinda There. hyroh doesn’t really like him but at the same time they’re Battle Buddies. it’s complicated.
scourge:
i really like him actually!! but also oh my god he is not a good influence for k’tasi or hyroh. thankfully, hyroh was in jedi therapy and thus only had to deal with him for a very short time. meanwhile k’tasi spent most of his time around him. narratively that’s really good because scourge was Another presence to challenge k’tasi’s blind obedience to the jedi, but for the sake of k’tasi’s mental health it was awful.
6 notes · View notes
platinummice · 4 years
Text
This was a lot more that i thought for some reason, the answers are pretty short and to the point so if you want me to elaborate on something a bit more feel free to ask :)
@rockshortage
What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera…
Did a take a test to figure this out? Why yes, yes I did. ISFP-T, or Adventurer is what I got for Archer.
Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it?
He sure does, but he doesn’t really know what it is. He mostly just thinks he’s going literally insane. It’s a pretty big reason for him not sticking around people very much even though he craves affection.
Are they good at handling change in their life?
No not really, Archer has a hard time, now more than ever trying to keep his simple life together, he’d prefer it not change as much as possible.
Is your OC a martyr?
He tries pretty hard not to be, or at least to not show that he is. He sees the truth though.
Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others?
Archer is pretty straight forward, if he fucked up he’ll say something. But he’ll make things up for others if he like them enough.
Does your OC compromise easily? Too easily?
I guess it depends? If its not something that matters very much, compromise will be easier, but if he thinks it’s important then he’s going to be harder to bargain with.
Does your OC put others’ needs before their own?
Only his dogs and his friends needs get put before his own. Anyone else? so sorry.
Does your OC have any addictions? If so and problematic, have they admitted it to themselves?
He’s addicted to taking in animals? Seems harmless, but in truth he does it so he has a reason to keep living, which isn’t healthy. I can’t say he’d still be alive if he hadn’t taken Ranger and Fletcher with him the day those raiders killed the rest of his dogs. 
Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from?
He’s terrified of needles. Thanks mom and dad.
Is your character empathetic?
He is, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to care.
Is your character observant?
Yes, very. Probably because he works with animals a lot, and its very important to notice their body language, so he can read people and situations pretty well. Plus he’s more of a sniper so being observant is important.
What’s one of your OC’s proudest moments of themselves?
He was really proud when he finished building his house, and all the furniture for it.  
Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do?
He doesn’t get jealous very easily, but even when he does he doesn’t bring it up. He’ll sulk around a bit, and when asked he’ll say he fine. He wont really feel bad about if? Its just an emotion, it happens sometimes.
What instantly irritates them or puts them in a bad mood?
Seeing people hurt animals for no reason. He will throw down. Might not win, but its the thought that counts.
Are they harsh on themselves?
YES.
Do they make excuses often?
Nah he’s pretty fast to admit when he’s doing something wrong.
Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why?
I mean i didn’t make him like super ugly? But i wasn’t going for amazingly attractive either, so average i guess?
Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it?
He wears a mask all the time so he really doesn’t care. I mean at one point he had tore most of his hair out and just had a few scattered clumps clinging to his head, but people couldn’t see his face so it didn’t matter to him.
What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it?
He got some damn big emotional problems, and he recognizes some, like his slowly diminishing will to live. But things like his urge to have someone else control his entire existence he doesn’t really realize are problems. 
Do they believe you have to give respect to get it, or get respect to give it?
Everyone starts off with a set amount of respect. You either get more or have it taken away depending on your actions.
Is your OC considered funny? Do they believe they’re funny?
Arch can be pretty funny, if he has anything its a sense of humor.
Does your OC find any “bad” or “mean” humor funny? Do they wish they didn’t?
Yeah he does, what can you do. No guilt will stop him.
Do they have a large or small group of friends?
He has two dogs and sometimes he works with a stinky man. He thinks Gage is a friend but does Gage think he is a friend? Who knows if Gage will ever tell him.
Do they have people they are genuinely honest with about themselves?
....His dogs?
Does your OC enjoy social events, such as parties, clubs, et cetera..?
He likes talking to people, but if there are too many people around he gets overwhelmed pretty fast.
Does your OC like to be the center of attention or more in the mix?
More in the mix, he gets anxious.
Do they consider themselves superior or more important than anyone else? Lesser?
Arch considers himself less important then most people, thats mental illness babey. 
Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?
He’d throw everything to the wind for his dogs. Sorry friends, but they’ve helped him through too much.
Do they believe people change over time? If so, is it a natural process or does it take effort?
Well he knows that he has changed a lot, so why not other people too?
How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general?
When he was in the Mojave, Joshua taught him about Mormonism, but he didn’t really understand. He remembers some stuff, but after he left he didn’t try to keep up with practicing it. 
Do they believe in an afterlife?
It’s not something he takes time to think about really. That kid of a ‘ill cross that bridge when i get there’ type thing
Would they like to be immortal? Why, why not? If they are immortal, would they rather not be?
He would definitely not like that. He can barely manage his mental health as it is.
Would you say that your OC is intelligent? In what ways? Would your OC agree?
Smart when it comes to plants and animals, just about everything else? Not so smart.
How many languages do they speak?
Speaks exactly one(1) language.
Do they enjoy learning? Do they actively seek out sources of self-education?
He likes learning things, its just getting that knowledge to stick in his head that’s a problem. He doesn’t really seak out knowledge but if he has the chance to ask about things he will.
What sort of home do they live in now, if at all? How did they end up there?
Its just a little shack like building, but he built it and he’s proud.
What’s their ideal home look like? Where is it?
A big ol’ farm house, lots of room for lots of dogs/friends
Could they ever live in a “tiny home”?
I dont think so, but it’d be funny as hell.
How handy are they? Can they fix appliances, cars, cabinets, et cetera?
He can fix simple things, cabinets, chairs, dressers. Nothing too much more advanced than that.
How much do they work? What do they do? Do they enjoy it?
He works really all the time. From when he wakes up to when he goes to bed. He basically runs a mini zoo by himself, its a lot of work but he loves it.
How often are they home?
Pretty often, he has animals to take care of.
Are they homebodies and enjoy being home?
Not really, he likes being out and about.
Do they engage in any of the arts? How good do you intend them to be? Would they agree they are?
Archer is actually pretty musically inclined, he’d never admit it though. You might be able to catch him singing to his dogs, if you're lucky.
Would they enjoy a theme park?
Maybe if he could somehow go when there aren’t any people there. That might sill be pushing it. He gets overwhelmed easily.
Is your OC close to their family?
Nope.
Who makes up your OC’s family, at least the more important members to them?
He only ever knew his mom and his dad. If there was anyone else in his family he never met them.
Does your OC find their family supportive? If not, what would be an example why not?
Nah he really doesn’t think they’re supportive of him. They definitely wanted him dead.
What kind of childhood did your OC have?
:)
Did they go through any typical phases growing up?
He went through a lot of things, but never got the chance to be emo.
What is your OC’s orientation, romantic and/or sexual? Has it ever been a source of stress for them? Have they always been pretty sure of their orientation?
I know i said he was strictly gay yesterday but im thinking he’d actually probably be Pan and he’d just lean towards more masculine partners. He hasn’t really thought about his sexuality so he’s never had a reason to be stressed over it.
Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover?
Any space in his mind that was supposed to be used for math and literacy etc. is now storage space for little facts about the people he cares about. He will remember. Oh you said you thought this flower was pretty six an half years ago in passing and i found one so i thought id bring it back for you.
Does your OC believe there’s only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right?
Probably that there are multiple people who could be right.
Does your OC believe in love in first sight?
He barely even knows what love is, really.
Does your OC believe in marriage (or their culture’s equivalent)?
He doesn’t really understand the point of it but if his S/O wanted it, he’d agree.
Has your OC ever cheated on anyone or been cheated on?
Nope :)
What’s your OC’s idea of a perfect date?
Climb to a really high place, lil picnic, watch the sun set, (maybe hold hands?) look at the stars.
What are some things that your OC finds to be an instant turn-off in potential partners?
Not liking animals. They’re literally his entire life, you cant be with him and not like animals.
What are their favorite kinds of flavors– Sweet, salty, sour, spicy, creamy, et cetera?
Umami. But he’ll literally eat anything, especially if he’s desperate.
Are they vegan/vegetarian (if their overall culture/species generally aren’t)? If so, why? Do they think animal products are wrong in all circumstances?
He doesn’t really eat a lot of meat cause he wants to hurt as few animals as possible. He uses most of the meat he hunts for his animals, and only eats it when there is nothing else, or if there’s the possibility of it going to waste.
How often do they cook? Do they order out a lot?
He cooks pretty often, that being said do NOT eat what he makes! I dont know how he is still alive!
Could they eat the same thing they enjoy over and over and not get bored of it quickly?
Yep, in fact that's basically what he does already. Food is food babey.
Did you create the character to be like yourself, did they end up being like yourself, or are they very different from you?
Archer wasn’t ever supposed to be like me, and he’s not really, which i think is a good thing?
Would you hang out with your OC if you could?
Yes he needs hugs and I will provide.
What’s the longest you’ve had an OC for?
I’ve technically had Archer for 5 years thats a long time :)
4 notes · View notes
almasidaliano · 3 years
Text
Almasi for President
so in about 12 to 16 years, i am running for president. i do not believe the world will have ended then, though i do believe things will be different. hoping for better, not, not expecting worse. our system is broken. all of the systems are broken. the government is corrupt. the justice system is corrupt. those in charge are turning blind eyes, covering things up, and allowing the fall of our country. i will not be surprised if a civil war commences; although i'm also thinking they are going to really create and push for a purge. we are in real trouble then. that just goes back to what i said, are you standing for something or dying for nothing?
people were excited for biden to win. and i have to say, i was not one of them. biden seems like another puppet to me. obama was a puppet. he was his vp. crazy how biden is president and he has a black female vp now. that sounds like a win huh? wrong, she contributed to the failed prosecution of the officers who murdered Oscar Grant. that went over everyone's head during the election though. trump was just so bad had to get him out. biden is anti LGBTQ+. everyone wanted to put it on trump folks getting rowdy and such however, biden won and nothing changed.
trump's slogan was "make america great again." personally, i think he could have. trump's a businessman and to say the least, entertainment. they gave trump four years, why do you think they didn't renew his contract? because he was playing them. trump is a classist. he doesn't like poor people. personally, i think he just believes hardwork pays off, his did and so he just holds everyone to the standard he held himself. there are circumstances, however i think that's fair. he said all this racist shit everyone got mad. yet, he won by a landslide because the country said they would still rather this "bigoted, racist, sexist, classist asshole" than a woman. then the country complained the whole time. he exposed america and instead of society shining light and doing something they continued to do what we have been doing; pointing blame.
the system has failed us. the system failed us a long time ago. all trump did was present a call to action. the one thing i can give rednecks is they patriotic as fuck. they want the america they invision type shit. i feel like melanated people in general struggle with that because america never felt like home. america never wanted us here. but the fact of the matter is, this all we know. this is home now. there are 3 real options. 1. go back to where your bloodline stems. 2. sit and conform, hope they dont get you. 3. defend your rights, your home, and your people; come out on top or die trying. you have to pick something though. we have to do something because they those set to protect us are out to get us.
we do not have a democratic government not even a representative democracy like we once thought. sorry if you were today years old when you found out. we operate out of a republic; a constitutional federal republic. what's the difference? in a democracy, all that voting that we do, matters.  even if it was a representative democracy. we would have representatives to disclose our decisions. the electoral college makes final decisions on elections.
a constitutional federal republic means that the constitution which is the law of the land governs the land. if this is the law of the land, why do we have sub laws? the constitution needs to be amended. want to fix the race and inequality issues? let me tell you how, real easy fix. call a convention. take out any amendment that gives rights to people AND reword the beginning anyway folks see fit so that women and americans from all ethnic backgrounds get the same level of respect and rights. there will always be an unspoken division until things like that are rectified. before black people got rights we were not even counted as complete people, simply 3/5s of a person. life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. these are unalienable rights. my very existence guarantees me these rights.
the judicial system coupled with the criminal law system are hopeful, and still in need of reform. prisons are privately owned institutions, which are supposed to be forms of rehabilitation. instead, they are condemning people and treating them inhumanely; creating the same environment they were in on the outside, on in the inside conditioning them to be stuck in these ways as means of survival and then continue to place blame on them. officers need to take crimes more seriously. people are people, bias, prejudices, and profiling have no place in the workplace. officers are corrupt, arresting kids for selling, who just are trying to help their mother with the bills, then turning around and selling it back out on the streets. officers are wrongfully convictind and killing predominately (as far as the media is broadcasting) though not only melanated people. on top of that, they are walking free. lives are being lost and they arent even losing their jobs. tax dollars are going towards keeping them safe. however, if a civilian shoots a cop. up the river for them.
lawyers aren't fighting hard enough. especially defense attorneys. it is fairly simple to get a conviction with the right information, proving innocence is always a bit more complicated. the problem is that attorneys get too big eyed. they looking at how to get their clients off, accountability is another taboo in this society. there are a multitude of people who are innocent behind bars, as well as those who received heinous outrageous sentences. that is not right.
people factor more than necessary when trying to make a decision, yet they ignore the things that remind them a person is human. its this art contest over who can paint the best picture of the defendant. which story is easy for a jurors bias to sway? how people look matters. and it shouldn't. our government since the building of america, has created dividing markers.
just like with royal kingdoms, the wife couldn't have things of her own. her role was cleaning, cooking, taking care of the kids, and whatever else was asked of her. if there was a divorce, the woman got nothing. they had no rights. imagine being the first born as a female in a royal family and being told you can't have your kingdom, correction you can but you must marry to get it. then if you get married the new king running things not you. what is that? its called patriarchy. our government is run off a patriarchy as well.
so i never really believed there could be like a true separation of church and state because every law and decision made was based on people's morals and beliefs. there is supposed to be a separation of church and state yet, due to people's religious beliefs gay marriage had to get legalized, despite there being no law for heterosexual marriage. would that not make it illegal? since gay marriage had to be legalized though there was not a law for it either? then on top of that, how do you make it a law, and still for religious reasons, ministers and such can refuse? there are always stipulations and hinderances for the rights of those who are not white men.
ABORTION: i really do not know why we are still having this conversation. its literally conversations like this that have me looking at americans like--- seriously? once again there should be a separation of church and state. so religion cannot be a reason to outlaw it. how can you put out a law that dictates what someone can do with their body? all of life, i mean every part of life should be pro-choice. its just that simple. Pro-Choice. i am all for the right to decide for yourself. and men want to feel a way about women making that decision on their own. and while i do stand behind the fact that ultimately it is the womans decision, that does not mean she can't listen to an opinion. it is a part of the woman, literally grows inside of her an entire being. and fathers can just dip out and folks will just look at the mom and suddenly she should just become super woman. the pressure that comes with having a child is enough on its own. like thats a being that is dependent on you. some people are honest with themselves and know they arent ready or dont want it. all they need is support. the mental toll life takes on us is huge as well. still people do not consider that at all.
there is no point of incarcerating people, if they have still lost a chance at a decent life once they get out. jail is for rehabilitation. they go, do their time and then they are supposed to be allowed to try again. our government knows nothing of redemption, that's why all the top leaders go through so much to hide their dirt. they crucify civilians trying to make themselves seem superior, really they are just like you and i. almasi for president. im going to save the world.
-Almasi
2 notes · View notes
kyunsies · 4 years
Text
i was tagged by my lovely lil fam @memehyungwon @pansynight @theyoungflexer ;; i love u all dearly!!!!!!
rules: answer these questions and tag 5 mutuals
1. Flowers or chocolates? flowers!!
2. Between day and night I prefer: day 
3. My favorite drink: WATER (more specifically sparkling water) (even more specifically la croix or san pelligrino hehe) 
4. Between sunrise and sunset, I prefer: mmm i can’t choose :( i love the sunrise bc i wake up pretty early naturally but ALSO i have a lil series here on all the sunset pics i take and they’re beautiful so :(( gotta go with both!!!
5. Between dogs and cats, I prefer: dogs, i think i’m allergic to cats LOL 
6. The vegetable I hate the most: eggplant, raw onions, cucumber, cauliflower......i could go on and on i hate how picky i am kfsdfjsdfjs
7. My favorite sound: kyun’s VOICE,,,,,and maybe the ocean (even tho i’m afraid of it) 
8. The first thing I notice about people: their teeth/complexion (i have crooked teeth so when someone shows me a bright smile??? love that!!!)
9. Would you prefer horror or fantasy? i love horror movies but there hasn't been a good one in a really long time (idk why collectively as a society we need to hire The Worst actors/actresses EVER for horror film ugh) so i guess i’ll say fantasy :^)
10. I’d want to be stuck in a lift with: my best friend or my teammate or someone who is strong OR all of the above together :’)
11. What city or town you’d like to live in? it’s been a dream of mine to live in chicago!!!!!! chicago has everything: beach front (lake michigan is so big you can’t even see the shoreline from across the lake so it might as well look like an ocean), the big city life, also a really nice suburban area........you literally have everything <33
12. What I value most in life: to be happy and also like, to love and be loved ;; being in love (not even romantically) with your friends and family is the best feeling in the world idk,,,,,life is so beautiful no matter how many things go wrong no matter what how lucky are we to live on earth and experience love and pain and happiness and sadness and all of life’s lil ups and downs :’)
13. If I could learn any skill, it’d be: hemming my own clothes ;; im so short i don’t fit into anything dfjskdfjsdfj but also i would love to learn how to improve cooking !!!
14. Between the beach and the mountains, I prefer: beach AND mountains its impossible to choose 
15. I’d love to get married in: a church lol (call me a prude religious person) but all of my aunts had beautiful weddings in beautiful churches and :’) im not saying i want an expensive wedding or anything but!!!!! i just love weddings lol 
16. My hidden talent: i can raise my eyebrow??? idk or i can do a one-handed cartwheel but that’s not really hidden i guess 
17. If I could bring anyone back to life, I’d bring back: jesus, and i’m not even lying i wish the world would be a better place ;____;
18. Why? we are in SHAMBLES hehe like i know we all should learn from mistakes and all that but i think collectively as a human race we need like,,,,,,,,a big ‘ol group hug <33
19. Rainy or sunny day? sunny but!!!!! i only like rainy days when a) its not windy b) it’s not humid and c) when its just plain ‘ol RAINING like no thunderstorms or super cells that will turn into tornados idk how to express the fear i have for severe thunderstorms :(
20. Who’s the real model of your life? momma bear!!!!
21. How I relax after a hard day: watching any form of monsta x content on yt, or a recent interest is learning about korean cuisine like i follow these 2 channels on yt where these couples make homemade korean food and i just think everything looks yummy and i would like to either try it sometime or make it sometime on my own!!!!!!
22. I like the way I look: absolutely not lol 
23. My most favorite facial features of myself is: ehhh maybe my eyebrows 
24. My most favorite part of my body is: i don’t really seem to have a favorite body part but ill just say i have a lil mole on my ring finger and i always joke around with my friends that when i meet my soulmate and he puts a ring on my finger that mole will glow gold or something LOL DO U BELIEVE ME NOW WHEN I SAY I AM A HOPELESS ROMANTIC <33
25. If I could change anything about my body: well to start i wish i was taller LOL 
26. If yes, what’s it: my height i want longer and slimmer LEGS 
27. If I could change something from my past: my whole uni experience 
28. How many piercing I have: 4?? two on each ear! 
29. I like makeup? i like makeup but i hate what “influencers” have done with it like,,,,,,you don’t NEED the newest jeffery star palette pls go at your own pace i feel like it’s just CONSUME and then okay what’s the next hottest thing that looks like everything else on the market :’)
30. I wear make up everyday: heck no 
31. My skin type is: combination in the summer but dry in the winter 
32. My skin tone: tanned? i don’t have a deep chocolatey skin tone but, it just looks like i have a tan all the time 
33. My hair color: dark brown 
34. My height: 4′11″ so i think that’s only 149 cm lol 
35. My age: 21 
36. My birthday: december 4 
37. My best friend: my roommate + my teammate + plus some other uni friends <33
38. I have a pet or more: none sadly :(
39. If I don’t, I’d like to adopt: YA my dream pup is a greyhound !!!
40. Video games or social media: social media i hate hate hate video games 
41. I’ve visited outside my country: canada + dominican republic + jamaica + mexico but i would love to go to europe 
42. I have an innocent/dirty mind: both honestly lol 
43. Someone proposed to me or asked me out? nah 
44. If yes, then I liked it and accepted or the opposite: nah 
45. Do you follow some celebrities’ fashion: no, i thin fashion is unique to the individual so there’s no point in copying :)
46. What do you think about your fashion sense: i like it and i feel comfortable in what i wear! 
47. You found someone copying your fashion: my fashion is simple so if someone dresses simple then we have the same BRAIN <33
48. Can you do your makeup properly: yes 
49. You go or used to go with makeup to school: i used to in grade school/junior high bc i had really bad acne but now i dont care anymore :D
50. What color suits you best? neutral colors + cold accessories 
51. Finally, how is quarantine going? it could be better but it's not terrible!! i go back to school this weekend sooooooo oof 
tagging: @ckyunoirs @softhyungkyun @xphenomenon @sohcean @hohyuk and anyone else who wants to do this (and ofc feel free not to as well!!)
5 notes · View notes