#im so lonely and scared

[minimoll7]

Hate it when depression hits hard before bed

#molly vents #i just feel like i need to start over #i just know one of my friends hates me now #and it doesn't matter what i say or do #nobody fucking listens to me #im so tired of it #im so tired of trying so hard all the time #i cant even talk to some people anymore #which grant it that's not their faults that's on me #but still #im so lonely and scared #it plagues me every day now #someone who means the world to me probably doesn't want me around anymore #there's a constant air of tension #but am i just imagining it?? #idk I'm to scared to reach out now #i need new people in my life i think #i hate feeling so scared all the time #its draining and depressing #I'm so so tired #i just want the stress to end

[cometblaster2070]

i am upsetting myself at ungodly hours by imagining how the scene in apple and raven's dorm room must've looked like after raven refused to sign.

like imagine apple sobbing the night away and raven tries to comfort her only to be rebuffed and she spends the entire night awake and staring at the ceiling while the guilt eats away at her as she hears apple's quiet sobs.

and apple's there feeling so hurt and angry and alone, and in that moment she probably wants nothing more than a friend, a comforting presence, but she can't even look her bsf in the eye because she's just so upset about what's just happened.

idk there's something about the two of them being so steeped in distress and sadness because raven can't force apple to understand her and apple can't comprehend the reasons for raven's decisions.

and the two of them love each other SO MUCH, but right then they're just stuck in that suffocating dorm room with only each other for company, wondering what they're going to do next.

#eah #ever after high #shitpost #it's too late for this #i need to get to bed #raven queen #apple white #listen to me #it's about the ANGST #also again #apple definitely had a crush on raven #which is just making this worse but #idk there's something about the misunderstanding that gets to me #not quite misunderstanding i mean but you get it #because apple has a mental BLOCK when it comes to anything other than destiny #and raven can only explain 'im not evil pls i dont want this life' in so many ways before getting tired #but at the end of the day #it's no one's fault #and they;re just scared lonely children #also yes smth like this might have happened in the books but pls bear with me i haven't read them in a while

[puppiitraining]

I can't tell if maybe its just my town is soo boring or maybe I'm still not confident enough in myself to attract it... but how??? the heck does a puppy find someone to stuff their holes 🥺 asking for a friend? that friend is me? how do meet people who would leash me up and call me a good boy while making me whimper and squirm as they rut into me??? gimme headpats and belly rubs? how to meet folks when going to bars/clubs isn't my favorite thing bc its so overwhelming.. where are the puppy meet ups!! Puppycon, I'm looking for you.

#maybe its me being scared/worried of finding trans friendly partners... #or that im a bigger puppy bUT #i need a partner to come home to i cannot feel this lonely any longer!! sad puppy noises!! #but... like how. yknow?? #crying crying sm #or even meeting long distance partners i just want cock and pets so bad. fr fr. #ftm puppy #t4t puppy #ftm pet #t4t pet #ftm sub #ftmpet #t4t yearning #t4t nsft #ftm trans #ftm nsft #ftm yearning

[puppyeared]

if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified

#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing #i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though #at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself #as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed #escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date #although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL #ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting #workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety #i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back #AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO #im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts #i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem #in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material #and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school #maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess #only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard #hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms #i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work #not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall #anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh #yapping

[evansbby]

.

#random and emo and will prob delete but #sometimes i feel so lonely in this fandom 😔😭 #like amongst the writers of this fandom I mean #like it feels like all the cevans writers are friends with each other and I’m the local weirdo on the other side like 🤠 #obv I talk to some people and am mutuals with some people whom I loooove but like #idk I’ve always felt this low-key 😂😂😂 #it’s bc I’m so awkward and I think that they all think I’m annoying #like I automatically assume most of the big writer blogs hate me lol #which is deffo just in my head and I’m insane yall know im fucking insane and jump to conclusions 😂😂😂 #but idk sometimes I just feel sooo lonely #well not LONELY bc I love my anons and my mutuals and I’m always on here yapping about something or the other 😅😅 #but I feel like I’m not part of that amazing writer community where everyone’s friends with everyone #MAYBE BC I NEVER FUCKING TALK TO ANYONE BUT THAT IS BC I AM SCARED SO I NEVER PUT MYSELF OUT THERE #😭😭😭😭😭 #but yeah lol #no fr tho why can’t I be normal lmaoooo

[sigma-el]

"Do not feel sorry for the wraiths, they are not here by chance.

Neither are we."

- Xangr to Nae (@lokorum) exploring the blood-floaded fields of Coldharbour

#tesblr #the elder scrolls #oc #artists on tumblr #sketch #dunmer #bosmer #nae #sigma el sangre #sangre #xangr #coldharbour #thats bc im obsessed with nae so far #i have the feeling they both know very different coldharbours #sangre and nae meeting would mean the first died and got stucked in CH for ages #maybe even becoming pretty used to it #but he knew the icy-blueish CH with fire-made-stone soil and vast plasma lakes #xangr is a traveller by essence #he’s an ashlander; not really scared of where he lands #pretty lonely and independant #yet a part of him lounges for some companionship event if it doesnt show #hes the smooth calm and serene type #acts like a shepherd to many mortals #sigma-el

[chryblossomjjk]

i keep gettin degrees to procrastinate :3

#my school has an accelerated nursing program for graduate students #so u can get ur bachelors in 17 months #and i really think that’s my calling #so im going to apply to that #i feel like a whole loser bc ill be 24 w a degree that im not using #trying to get a new one lol but yeah #it’s going to be fucking tough but #i think i got it #idk #confused n scared n sad n lonely n anxious n all the things

[my-beloved-lakes]

I see a lot of people I knew from school posting pictures on their social medias with all their friends doing various fun things together. Meanwhile, I'm sitting at home wishing I could take a group photo with all my Tumblr mutuals to post so I can brag about having the best friends.

#too much of my social life is based on Tumblr but i really don't get out much since I don't have a job and i made like 1 friend in school #so i don't really know anyone to hangout with other than my siblings and my one friend #and i don't go out much exept for occasionally to the library or the store so i don't get the chance to meet new people #i used to have all 5 of my sisters at home and that was all the company i needed #but now they've all moved out except for my younger sister and im realizing that im very deeply lonely #i need to get a social life! but how! #Also i think this is part of the reason I jumped into things too quickly with my ex gf now my best friend #like I was so excited that i had found someone who was just as interested in being friends with me as i was with her #that i misstook my feelings for her as romantic ones cuz i was so lonely and she was such a good friend #and i was so scared to tell her cuz I didn't want to ruin our relationship. it didn't. we're still besties. #but i think im so lonely idk if I'll be able to know the difference between platonic and romantic feelings #and part of that definitely comes from being ace as well #anyways there's my tangent for the night about why I need a better social life and maybe a bit of therapy too #haha that got super personal oops 😬 #might delete these tags later

[ladyriddle1]

I thought I was getting better. I honestly did. But now I'm laying in bed trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me and why I'm never enough.💔

- ladyriddle1💫

#lonliness #ansiety #tears for fears #life crisis #child abuse #mentally tired #im losing my mind #im lost #im losing it #tired #im cryin #im so lonely #im so scared #im so tired #im sorry #depressing shit #depresion #sad life

[skunkes]

me and ale are on a ryan gosling movie marathon bc i have a disease and we watched la la land most recently and did not enjoy it

but i really thought the "so many of ryan goslings characters have autistic swag" sentiment I'd been seeing was a joke. It's kinda Real actually. Sebastian said his first 2 sentences in that movie and i was like ohhh yeah. Yeah.

#talkys #we're gonna watch lars and the real girl next and im so scared you guys. it sounds like a cheyebait movie. #like dont talk to me about people that are strange and lonely. or dolls. love surrogates.

[melto]

my birthday week is like a fight for my fucking life.

#like i dont like my birthday bc i dont like attention and also bc the fact i am still alive when i never planned to be is so heavy #which makes it feel like all of a sudden i have a timer and i need to kiilllmyself #but mostly. The biggest issue is i think of my exbest friend bc it was our week always even if they treated me horrible #and i would just go along with whatever they wanted even if i hated it and i just think about them think about them think about them #and i dont want them in my life but i will talk myself into missing them #and feel guilty like its my fault like i deserved everything they did to me like i should never be allowed to move past it #and then i get so embarassed over how i let them rule my life and ruin so much for me and made me break away from people i care about #but then its like im so lonely at least they were always there even if they hated me #even if they wanted me to be so miserable even if they just wanted to know they would always have someone to push around #And i still have trouble when it comes to food im still scared of opening up to people im still scared of my friends of buying new clothes #somehow everything they said to and about me was true even though none of it is and it hurt me and ruined so much #but i must have deserved it. they were supposed to know me best. and i never have known myself #so everything they had said about me has been true for so long. #every time i have the thought that i miss them i think i need to crash my car #every year it gets better every week it is easier but its been so bad recently its been so bad i feel like pieces of me are falling apart #i dont want to manifest this year it being bad bc its just starting to get easier after my total depressive state but god #im looking at are they made for me years ago and i want to rip it apart but i cant every time i try i almost throw up. #i think im going to throw up right now. #deeply pathetic. #news with isaac

[frecklystars]

#self harm cw #vent art #i cant sleep im so nauseous and scared and. unbearably lonely #if i hug my ken dolls hard enough do you think he'll feel it and show up and take me to barbieland #just get me outta here

[brain-bumbler]

I sometimes think about how the endless travel of a traveling circus has likely made the Aquato kids social skills poor and made them very lonely

Ohhhh I love that idea! I know that most circuses are actually quite social- they have traveling schools, and families usually settle down for the off-season in the same cities or towns, so kids have both new and old friends.

But I don't think the Aquatos have the typical circus experience! I think their family moves mostly on its own, maybe frequently switching between circuses for larger performances, but never staying in one place. They have too many enemies. They can't go near the big top, and wherever they are they're always set apart, always different.

I think its just so open to interpretation depending on the plot! Maybe some or all of the kids are very socially adept from meeting so many people and keeping up long-distance friendships, maybe they can always fit into a new group because they work with such diverse people.

Or maybe they're more isolated, more nervous, always having a curse hanging over their heads that no one else would understand. They stick close to each other, drive each other crazy. But who else do they have?

I imagine having a boyfriend or girlfriend would be hard for the older teens, and I remember how hard it was to keep friends after moving. It makes me think of all the ways that interacting with the interns could go!

#psychonauts 2 #ask bumble #aquato family #Ahhh this is a really good ask! Its making me think things #Raz is definitely a Weird Kid at camp but he finds his people #it could vary by each Aquato too! Frazie has friends watching Sugarcube #lonely boy dion struggling to make friends hes to stressed and used to being a responsible older sibling 24/7 #You know who probably needs the friends? Gus and Dona! #Those two are so busy and stressed and scared for their family #100% focused on their kids #they can make friends at the motherlobe too #there's lots of options thank you so much for this really nice ask im gonna keep chewing on this

[saeshiraw]

tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

#tw rant #studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not #its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels #so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday #i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me #n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone #yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my #friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep #of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle #but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today #i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts #and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics #just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people #im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier #im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk #and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know #but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac #h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe #ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch #people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and #seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want #are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to #spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was #i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next #“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes #me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good #but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im #intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout #but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one? #the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone

[spotsupstuff]

what happened to boreas during the events of saint's campaign? I'd have figured because of his self sustaining properties, he'd be one of the last iterators actually functional before saint inevitably bababooeys him

-snaps fingers n fingerguns atcha- you got That right, buckaroo! Boreas indeed is still kicking just fine when Saint enters the Aeolus Root ring, especially if you ignore his mental state consisting of crushing loneliness and nasty ass giant case of guilt. i told Shkiki this- i geniunely think he'd only die if a lot of ice would block his water filtration systems. he's like a damn cucaracha

(see, Beebee is stationed very high up north n i think he's close enough to the sea that he uses That as his water supply. he runs Very cold, much more so than a normal Iterator- this is mostly the case cuz i wanna give the greek god Boreas shout out with it, but in-universe can be blamed on his sheer massive size. he needs to keep himself as cold as possible. can't exactly cool his systems with solid ice tho and so this person who doesn't like/can't handle other people Needs these other people that warm up the atmosphere n keep the polar caps at bay. so honestly even tho he's fine n dandy when Saint finds him, he was already living on borrowed time)

Saint has a bossfight with Boreas just like with Sliver except Boreas is.. kinda more sturdy n also more aggressive n has a bigger chamber- he's like Sliver+, that girl was a weasel. hard mode Sliver.

it takes a bit, but eventually Boreas' puppet falls and the antigravity stutters to a stop. i imagine that working iterators that put up a fight need multiple blasts before they completely die because each blast is killing only a portion of the Hivemind, then the rest of it rushes to fill in the holes, that gets blasted and the process is repeated until there's no more of the collective left. so you can imagine what kind of state B is prolly in after like 9 direct blasts

torn apart, exhausted and so much more smaller n lonelier than before, Boreas finally stops fighting and instead huddles in a corner. for once absolutely terrified out of his mind n insterestingly enough- regretful. he tries to send out a warning signal to the rest of the group, but he can't manage it with how diminished he's become. Saint approaches. Boreas doesn't plead for mercy. he stares the rat down even when its eyes wildly flash

Saint finishes him off. Leaves. Notos watched the whole thing

to say that Notos is fuckin Traumatized from that is an understatement. its special overseer stays with Boreas' puppet beeping at it for an hour, waiting for him to wake up. but of course, nothing

now, i'll add- Beebee n Notty didn't ever really Fully Click together. either they didn't interact much because of their "i gotta work, man" mentalities, they were shit at interaction or they barked at each other (even in mythology it says that fights between Boreas and Notos were catastrophic and absolutely terrifying- fun fact! Notos actually seems more dangerous than Boreas from what i've read n this Is meant to be reflected with the Anemoi Iterators too). like i've had the idea that when Notos calls for an elder brother n Boreas n Euros look up, it'd specify "the elder brother that I actually appreciate" when needin Euros

either way, these two were still siblings and Boreas *did* Mentor Notos when it needed it (along with Euros; the Winds r kinda like a lil self-sustaining group within the bigger group- they are "Elite"/Leading Iterators of The Children of Eo after all) n they still like... Loved each other. even when Notos cut the communications with him after everything started going down the drain, it still loved him. n it regrets some things it said to him (thoughtless.. cruel things...) but cuz of the way it is as a person it never decided to step up n be the one to reestablish contact and apologize

and now Boreas is dead. one of the first iterators of the group gone, maybe the third. it can never say now, how it is so sorry and never meant it

#Spot says stuff #rw #oc tag #Notos' relationship with saint is a strange n complicated one. nobody traumatized notos like saint. saint is its friend. saint will kill- #-it one day. saint killed all of its family. Notos is the one who guided the death to them. saint is the salvation they need. saint is the- #-final doom. its family isnt moving anymore. it did the right thing. it's so terribly lonely and scared. saint hugs it in comfort. #No One Else couldve pulled through All That the whole way. only Notos who is painfully used to what it means to do a horrible thing for- #-the greater good. yet it doesnt mean these things dont torment it. it can state that it is a machine however much it wants. at the end of- #-the day Biting Notos is a Gen 3 technoorganic Iterator. at the end of the day it's still a little sister to over a hundred other Iterators #well this turned into Notos thoughts party my bad GJDSCKMMKLS hard to talk bout just one of em im doin my best to interconnect em as much- #-as i can. i Might make a comic for Boreas' fight at some point too but rn theres other things i wanna do n also just. need a bit of break

[rose022]

i miss them. i miss them so fucking much. im going to keel over and fall apart.

#i wanna be in a relationship again #i wanna have friend groups again #i want people i hang out with and talk to often and we do things together actually #its easier to just blame myself all the time since im the commone factor but deel down ik not all of those were on me. they were inevitable #i feel so lonely. #im scared ill start doing really bad things just to feel something again #vent #this prolly counts