#im sorry thats a terrible joke

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

do—

Do Howdy and Barnaby ever get together in your human au 🥺🥺

of course they do, who do you think i am

oh BOY do i have things to say about human!Laughingstock! im so unwell about them allow me to talk and talk and talk and ta-

~

so in this au they're like... the ultimate slowburn. their feelings for each other slowly simmer and grow over the course of *checks nonexistent watch* a lil over a decade i think. it's not very dramatic - just soft & silly w/ just a heap of pining and a pinch of angst for Flavor

it starts when they were teens - Howdy had a lil crush on Barnaby in middle school. and how could he not? Barnaby was cute, hilarious, and kind. at this point, they weren't friends! Barnaby knew Howdy's name, but only because they'd shared a school since elementary (as with 6/7 of the other neighbors) & speaking from experience, you just Know Those Names. Howdy slowly "grew out of" this crush, especially when the friend group started forming and he & Barnaby became actual friends.

that crush would fluctuate over the years. It starts out strong and then softens into just this hum in the back of Howdy's mind. always there, often easy to ignore, just... part of him, in a way.

Barnaby has a similar experience. when he and Howdy became friends, he got a lil crush - how could he not? Howdy was cute, laughed at all of his jokes and had a few of his own, and was endearingly eccentric. but at the time, Barnaby didn't recognize the crush for what it was. so he elected to ignore it until the crush dwindled to something easily manageable, something he wouldn't realize is still there. as with Howdy's, it'd never fully go away

and its noticeable enough to their friends that they'd all kinda side-eye how touchy Howdy & Barnaby are with each other (Barnaby is a physical guy, but damn. if Howdy is nearby they Will find a way to be touching at all times), the way they always laugh at each others jokes, the way they always ask "where's [x] / is [x] coming with" whenever the other is absent. but the group couldn't be sure if they were looking into it or not. it's too subtle. over time they get so used to it that they don't bat an eye - Howdy is Barnaby's best friend after Wally. of course they're close!

but then there's this one college party Howdy drags Barnaby to (and by extension, Wally). they're drunk off their asses, Wally's edible has kicked in, the party is pretty chill and everyone is having a decent time. all three of them are on the couch, and Barnaby and Howdy start drunk-complimenting each other. naturally, this feeds their mutual attraction, and one thing leads to another! they make out on the couch. naturally with Wally sandwiched between them, snacking on chips and committing the moment to memory (it's a surprise tool that'll help them later!) neither Barnaby nor Howdy will remember this

now, something i'd like to state for Barnaby in this au! he has had a lot of relationships - from one night stands to actually dating someone for months. sometimes the one night stands were a "he takes someone home after a date, & they leave while he's sleeping and ghost him" situation. with actual dating, the other person always breaks things off after a few weeks, if not days. it breaks Barnaby's heart a little bit every time. to the point where in his mid-20s, he just... stops dating. he avoids other people's advancements towards him, he always takes a friend with him to bars/etc as a buffer, he becomes an expert at gracefully turning people down

("why, pray tell" no one asks "do they always leave him? he's such a catch!" that he is! when he was in school, it was his friend group. he'd try to introduce his 'girlfriend' to his friends, and it'd be an immediate "eugh, you're friends with those freaks? no way!" as an adult, people found it off-putting how (by societal standards) unusually close he was with Wally. also, again, a "weird" friend group. they'd think it's too much, or just not their scene, or 'why don't you date your little blue haired boyfriend', etc. Barnaby never holds it against Wally or his friends. he has the mindset of if that person was the one, they would accept every part of Barnaby - and his friends are indeed part of him. Howdy has also dated around a little, but to a much lesser extent. he's too busy! he doesn't have time for that!)

but the ball really starts rolling in their late 20s. something the group does together - as a fun lil rare hobby - is LARPing. they get really into it! Sally made them all custom costumes, Julie helped make the weapons (like a giant sword for herself), etc etc. they fully commit to the bit (even Frank <3). so at this event's point in the timeline, Eddie is fully integrated into the clique, but that's unimportant - just to show where we are!

so they're all doing their thing, it's a pretty big LARP event - there's always way more people than our dear neighbors, yk. they're just part of the crowd! & there's a big battle hosted, the group is split between teams, but Barnaby & Howdy are on the same side! yay! during the battle, Barnaby is "mortally wounded." Howdy half-drags him away from the main battle under the cover of their teammates (including Eddie and Julie) and sits him down by the tree. now, Howdy & Barnaby are the ones who get into the roleplay the most. they get lost in the sauce! they perform the hell out of everything they do!

& since Barnaby is "dying", he really acts like it. Howdy acts accordingly, but again, they get a little too emotional, a little too into it, a little lost in the sauce. genuine tears are in their eyes, Howdy's voice is genuinely shaking a little as he holds Barnaby in his "dying moments" (Barnaby is holding the sword between his arm and his side. he has ketchup on his armor.) Eddie and Julie are getting choked up just watching this happen. and as Howdy & Barnaby look into each others' tear-filled eyes, those little feelings that have been so quiet for so long come right back babey! full force! but then they all get hit with "arrows" and have to die right there and then, and the moments over. but! both Barnaby & Howdy walk away from this LARP session grappling with Partially Realized Feelings.

Barnaby struggles with this the most, since yk at this point he's sworn off dating. he's being careful with his heart! but when he tells Wally all of this, cause he tells Wally everything, Wally's like "oh. yes, i know! remember that one college party where you two kissed for an hour". and then he goes on to point out every instance where he's thought "right, Howdy and Barnaby are in love" (bc Wally is way more observant than he lets on! he saw that shit! his peepers were peepin!)

BUT IT'S STILL A SLOW BURN BABEY!

Barnaby and Howdy don't approach each other about this. they're both in the boat of "well, i'll just keep going and see what happens" to the point where they're practically dating without ever saying anything to each other. Howdy notices how Barnaby lingers around the store more. Barnaby notices how Howdy keeps turning up at his work to talk more. (they already chat so much...) but they still! dont! say! anything! but they both Know! they're not emotionally circling each other they are Dancing to their Own Music!

and Barnaby is letting himself believe that this can work because, well... Howdy already accepts him as he is. Howdy is part of the group. Howdy loves Wally just like the rest of em. Howdy has seen Barnaby at his (presumed) worst and didn't even flinch! as for Howdy, well, he just thinks this is right! his whole life no one has really caught his eyes or heart, but Barnaby is different. he's always been in Howdy's peripherals. it feels natural to love him so deeply. Barnaby slots into his life like the final piece of a puzzle!

there's a lot of stuff that happens in this inbetween state - Howdy's store burns down & almost takes him with it, there's some family drama that needs to be handled, The Crash happens, etc etc etc - so it's a while before they "actually" get together. but they're both patient! they've waited this long, even if they didn't know they were waiting. neither of them are in a rush. they're young. they have time.

#oughhhhhh so normal about them sooooo so normal (lying) #'do you know how they get together' yes. obviously. its not dramatic or a big thing or anything #they're just at a function together - maybe there's a little late evening art show in town that wally is participating in #or an afterparty for one of sallys successful plays #but in my mind barnaby and howdy are ofc sitting together off to the side #Flirting. yk how it is. barnaby's like 'hey can i practice some pickup lines ;)' & ofc howdy agrees yk yk #they're all terrible btw. howdy laughs at every single one. barnaby is on an emotional high. the rizz is strong w this one #one thing leads to another - barnaby says a terrible line essentially asking if howdy wants to ~come home with him~ #but like. howdy agrees. and immediately the tone between them goes from lighthearted & joking to dead serious & tense #everything between them has gone unspoken until now but Now Theyre Saying It #suffice to say they leave the party early! they're giddy giggly lil bitches about it - acting like teens sneaking out yk yk #GOD THEY'RE SO FUCKING AGHHHHHH THROWING THEM FULL STRENGTH INTO A WOODCHIPPER #sorry. sorry. im calm now. thats a lie. i will proceed to explode #but anyway anyway #so that was a whole thing & basically long story short Barnaby has the morning of his dreams #Howdy makes him and Wally pancakes and they all have a nice quiet breakfast together. The Domesticity🤌 #im gonna go shove my head in a blender now. excuse me #rambles from the bog #wh modern human au #gonna leave that as the tag #but yeah their story is just! slow! its a soft descent! #meanwhile frank & eddie are stumbling through their feelings like newborn fawns #but yeah and howdy & barnaby continue to take their time #its a while before barnaby is like 'hey wanna move in with us?' #howdy '....yeah sure' #and Boom! Howdy moves in! #and they actually get married a while later without anyone but wally knowing. they do it for tax reasons initially. #since they're not ready to be Married married but! they! want! the! benefits! #they keep their own last names and dont have rings bc again! theyre not ready for that yet! #FUCK IM OUTTA TAGS I HAD MORE TO SAY! TUMBLR INCREASE YOUR TAG COUNT! AGH

[todayisafridaynight]

I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh

hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]

i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..

#snap chats #//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes #might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍‍♂️ #@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ... #there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams// #recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking #he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ #oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever #first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway #aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO #though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role #daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot #yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does #if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh #and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing #theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line #masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together #if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack #but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral #im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 .... #and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like #'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)' #and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal #they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway. #tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together #like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀 #one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid #so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny. #and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/

[boxwinebaddie]

psst! nina! -slides you $20- record store stan and comic book store kyle hanging out on their lunch break…plz 😩🥺💍

excuse me!!!! i am an upstanding law abiding citizen! i would never take a bribe!!!!...but if it somehow ended up on the floor or in my purse while i wasn't looking sahdhdkjs

but bestie i would have done it for free <3 i fucking...Love stan and kyle having edgy boy nerdy boy boyfriend solidarity they're so fkn cute to me oh my god aaaaa

also they work right across the street from each other so they do be shamelessly ogling each other all the time when they're supposed to be working. they also call each other on their work phones all the time and kyle is like "stan i told u not to call me when i'm working!!!!" and stan is like "but i MISSED u!" and hes like "bitch i am literally across the street" and stan is like "so cross the street and give me a big wet sloppy kiss dummy!" shdkjsa

they also totally badly prank call each other which is so funny bc its like I CAN SEE U STUPID!!! and also sometimes jealous kyle calls in like STAN IF YOU DONT TELL THAT BITCH W THE LANA DEL REY ALBUM AND THE BELLY BUTTON PIERCING U HAVE A BOYFRIEND RN IM COMING OVER THERE SHSKHD my hero oh my god!! stan is like ITS FOR HER GIRLFRIEND GENIUS SHE ALSO BOUGHT GIRL IN RED skahsd hes like that man in there tho with all the hair products in his hair!!!! he is not trying to score spiderman hes trying to score ur number sex-c!!! tell him ur closed...also my hero

i am like in the trenches of writer girl hell writing thirteen and trying to put good vibes back into my life so i...unfortunately could not put actions in it ( if u slide me $10 tho...i might consider it ) it's just dialogue but its funny i swear help!!! theyre cute!!!

...i hope this was worth your 20 dollars that ended up mysteriously in my pocket. Please Clap.

*DING!*

“Hey! Welcome to Vinyl Tap! My name is Stan, how may I help you—“

“Yooou know you’re not allowed in here anymore, sir!”

“And why is that…” “Kimberley?” *they never made stan a name tag*

“Because!” “You’re too tall…and good looking. No one will buy anything when you’re in here. They’re too busy looking at you. Me included.”

*stan winks and waves* *kyle rolls his eyes and does a sarcastic twirl*

“And management told me you keep checking out the check out guy at the counter. Absolutely unacceptable behavior.” “You disgust me.” “At least buy me dinner first.”

“I bought you lunch, actually, Asshole.” “Here’s dessert, bitch.” *kyle flips stan off*

“Aw! So sweet, bro! Just for that, you can have a bite.” *stan flips kyle off* “Sorry, your blood sugar looked low.” “And listen, If you’re gonna flip me off at least flip the sign around, you skyscraper! Mmkay?”

“Mmkay.”

“Ooh, ooh, oooooh! What is it?”

“Sniff.”

“NO!”

“Yes.”

“Oh my god?! Is it the super fucking delicious marinated tofu bahn mi from that new vegan Vietnamese food truck that parks next to City Hall? That I’ve been talking about—“

“For weeks. Yes. Please shut the fuck up now.”

“Did you add extr—“

“Extra jalapeño. Obviously, dipshit. I’m surprised you still have working taste buds.”

“Annnnnd—“

“And a Laaaarge Thai tea, sub oat milk. Yeah, yeah, yeahhh, whatever P r i n c e s s.”

“MY KY TEA!”

*holds his orange drink up to his kyles orange head excitedly*

“I totally forgot to pack a lunch earlier and everything! This is going to save my Life. Ugh, Dude, KP! You are LITERALLY the Best!”

*leans across the counter to hug kyle n almost crushes him 2 death*

“I know. And I have several awards and accolades that will back that statement up.”

“Also, I fucking K N E W it!”

“Knew what, motherfucker?”

“That you forgot to take your fucking ADHD medication again!”

“Nooooo…”

“Maaaaaybe…”

“Stan…”

“I know, I know, I knoooooow! I’m sorry! But also, if I am ‘chemically imbalanced’ or whatever and have a hard time remembering shit and focusing, why the fuck would they give me this thing I have to remember to do every morning? Like, it’s just so—“

“Babe.”

“Bro?”

“Food, drink, pill.”

“Fooooood, driiiiink, pillllll~”

*stan is very pleased with his stan-wich*

“Oh my god. D A N K.” “Best lunch EVER. I’m sooooo happy, I could totally k i s s you right now!”

“So kiss me, Dumbass.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely…”

*alexa play pony by ginuwine ;)*

*...did stan jump up on the counter and wrap his legs around kyle's waist...i can neither confirm nor deny these allegaytions ur honor*

“Peppermint.”

“Cherry.”

“Swap?”

“Swap.”

“Cherry.”

“Peppermint.”

“Way better.”

“Agreed?”

“Agreed.”

*kyle pulls back n eyes stan incredulously...and indecently ;)*

“Hold on a second…” “Marsh…”

“Broflovski?”

“Where is the rest of your shirt?”

“Out to lunch?” “Boo! Are you seriously dissing my fit, right now, bro?”

“Your fit would not FIT an eight year old boy!"

“Take it up with Kenny! He did it last night. He said it would help bring in sales.”

“He would say that.” “And what kind? OnlyFans?”

*deflecting and distraught bc...Hot*

“Kyle, c’mon! It’s c u t e!”

“It’s a CROP TOP.”

“It’s fun!”

“It’s INDECENT.”

“You’re staaaaring~” *stan shamelessly teasing kyle vc*

“It stared at me first.” *kp scowl insult combo bc hes nervous rip*

“It’s hot out there!”

“It’s hot IN here.”

“Ooh, say that again.”

“That.”

“Nevermind, I fucking hate you.” *more middle finger*

“I love you too.” *kissy noises*

“Ew, cute.” “But my eyes are up here. Pervert.”

*stan props kyles chin up on his finger so they can make sexually charged eye contact...seek jesus*

“They’re pretty…”

“Pretty weird looking.”

*stan looking crispy because he just got roasted*

“I’M weird looking!? Have you SEEN yourself?”

“Oh, HELL no! I am not taking smoke from a dude with frosted tips wearing low rise jeans and a shirt that looks like it could have been purchased from the junior girls section of Target. All you need is Kenny to tattoo a butterfly tramp stamp on you and you’re good to go, Paris Hilton.”

“And I'M not taking SMOKE from a dude wearing his dorky Cosmic Comic work uniform hat forwards instead of backwards like anyone over the age of 12.”

*stan totally takes his hat off and wears it like a backwards fuckboy snapback, kyle starts choking help sdsjh*

“Basketball shorts and…a Batman baseball tee that looks like it could have been purchased from the junior BOYS section of Target.” “Even if it does make your arms look really good.”

“Really? Ah-ahah. T-Thank you. Your a-arms also—” *nervous kyle stuttering* “Clever diversion tactic, but Stan, do NOT start this fight with me again! I reeeeally do not want to have this fight AGA—“

“Dude, he’s like, not even a Real superhero! He literally BOUGHT his way into being a superhero! He has no superpower! His superpower is being RICH!”

“Bro, so did IRON MAN!”

*cue stan and kyles regular n daily marvel dc fight to the death*

“OKAY! Well, Tony Stark has a wicked sweet robot butler and Bruce Lame-yne just has that weird creepy old guy who should probably have his name on the sex offenders list.”

*kyle absolutely fucking aghast*

“I’m sorry — Did you just refer to Alfred as ‘that weird creepy old guy’?”

“—Who probably wants to diddle little boys, but yes, that’s exactly what I said, Kyle!”

*eye twitches in rabid comic book boy*

“…And are you implying that Jarvis is cooler than ALFRED?!”

“I am not just implying that information…”

“I am d e l i n e a t i n g it to you.”

*stan using his english hw vocab rizz like kyle look look i studied*

“Mwah.”

*stan flabbergasted dramatic boy sounds*

“EXCUSE ME!!!! DID YOU JUST THROW MY KISS IN THE TRASH!?!?”

*he shoooooots, he scooooores*

“No, I threw in it in recycling because I know you’re a hoe for the environment.”

*stan abt to ask kyle to help him find something in the stock room...i really hope its the bible*

“…Okay, w-wowz—Jesus Christ. Ky, you know it’s seriously so hot to me when you recycle responsibly, but..."

*rizzed stan so hard oh my god hes blushin omg is it hot in here*

“Hope you heal from being a DC dickrider.”

“And I hope you heal from gargling Marvel’s balls.”

“Y’know, I still cannot believe you don’t like Batman, Stan. Like you are literally a DICK GRAYSON variant!”

“Woah, you said Dick with a loooot of confidence. Watch out; people might think you’re gaaaa—“

*kyle mad as hell bc he got dusted by his sbbf*

“Yeah, very funny, Stan. It’ll be way funnier when I bury this shithole on Yelp when I accuse you of a hate crime.”

“Okay, concept: hear me out. No hate crimes, just…” “Date Time?”

*stan vana white hand flourish w the emo boy rings*

“How about…we call you in some chicken strips, curly fries an—“

“CANIHAVEACHER—“

*absolutely feral diabetes boy behavior*

“Yes, oh my goood, you fucking FIEND…You can have a cherry coke. But…BUT! it has to be MEDIUM, KP! M e d i u m! Last time you had a large you got totally cracked out on liquid candy carbonation and started talking CRAZY. Like, you literally sounded like a cult leader. I thought you were going to start having religious visions and shit; it was scary.”

*stan shiny eyes emoji*

“Then…can we pleaaaase eat at the pond?! Please, please, please? I bought a mason jar full of oats in my backpack so I could feed the ducks! The little ones are soooo cut—“

“You remembered a lunch for the DUCKS and not yourself?!” “Ugh, and Stan, I HATE Stark’s Pon—“

*three fingers in the air assistant troop leader stan vc scouts honor*

“I promise to protect you from children, frisbees, the elderly, unpredictable water fowl and people with petitions…Do we have a deal, Kyle Pile?”

*oh no not the eyelash flutter...its super effective*

“…If one of those sick, feathered fucks bites me or shits on me, I’m turning that pond into duck soup.”

“YAY!” “Okay, let’s go. Hold my hand?”

“Stan, are you five years old?”

*stanley marsh signature pout...ur litrally proving his point bff*

“Kyle, you KNOW crossing the street freaks me out.” “Now hold my freaking hand, Assface!”

*aw romance*

“Wooooow, trying so hard to hold my hand. Watch out; people might think you’re gaaaa—“

*stan like five centimeters away from kyles mouth*

“…P l e a s e, baby?”

*more extremely nervous flustered kyle stuttering*

“I—W-whatever.” “There, happy?”

“Extremely.”

“Your hands are sweaty.”

“You make me nervous.”

*bebe vc* And Scene ;)

#aw...true love #bestie im sorry this is not my finest work but i hope u laugh thank u for buying me lunch #SPEAKING OF BUYING PEOPLE LUNCH kyle remembering stans crunchy boy lil lunch order...AW STAN CALLING KYLE HIS KY TEA LIKE PLS #idk why i put stan in a crop top but also i know he looked good kyle was mad as hell and wanted to makeout abt it smh #they really do b bickering like an old married couple #THEY HAVE THE DC MARVEL FIGHT EVERY DAMN DAY ITS SO UNSERIOUS #them being like damn thats pretty gay bro watch it bro people might think ur gay bro #my sons...who i raised...myself...with sharon and shelia...amen...<3 #THEM DOING THE MMKAY CALL AND RESPONSE IS LIKE THEIR RUNNING INSIDE JOKE #kyle talks abt recycling and stans like im going to do terrible and obscene things to u in the stock room...smh

[daydadahlias]

ashton has such kindergarten teacher energy like i know that man secretly has a degree in early childhood education

maybe he would if he could understand basic grammar 💙

#THATS A JOKE IM SORRY ASHTON #I love him and I know kids love him so much #but I always wondered how he graduated high school being as terrible at spelling/grammar as he is #and now I work at a college writing center and I’m like #oh #anyway ash would be great with kids I really love him for that #I think he’s the kind of guy kids would feel safe with #pigeon #anon #and there’s really no higher compliment I can give a man than that

[brad-bakshi-loves-bugs]

chapter 4 of we are fleeting, we are feeling is up! this one’s much more emotional than the previous ones and we get to see more of brad being an asshole because the only reason he was being mr nice guy was because of the whole appendicitis thing. enjoy!

#mythic quest #brad bakshi #we are fleeting we are feeling #wafwaf #fanfiction #david brittlesbee #brad bakshi IS a bad person and i wish more people would write about it #but thats ok thats what im here for #i promise itll get better it's just gonna take a while #im very happy with this chapter however even if its sort of all over the place #also like. you mean to tell me people just forgot david was whole ass going to jump off the mq roof at the end of season 2 #and no one acknowledged it????? #obviously this fic is set before brad goes to jail but guys #the opportunity is RIGHT THERE #our very own suicide squad #im sorry that was an awful joke im a terrible person

[darksoulsyuri]

feel free to ignore if you dont wanna keep going on abt this but yeah. the samu/raiden ship has sam acting in some very… uncomfortable ways. wasnt online enough to see the ow ship but i believe what you say. but also ugh the art is so pretty sometimes like aaahhhhh please dont be weird about them

nonono please feel free to talk about it! I think this stuff is like weirdly fascinating to observe and talk about in some way.

I 100% agree with you, I could go more in depth on how I feel about the portrayal of sam but tbh my brain is fried. I love sam! But hes a little bit of a jerk but imo its only in the context of gaining an advantage to like. kill you lol. I think people flanderized this way too far and whenever I see s/r ship art its just. Him being straight up ... I dont know. Pushing boundaries. Sexual harassment. Never takes no for an answer. Like where did you people get this from??? is it because he said "pretty boy" ONCE as an insult??? WHILE HE WAS KILLING THE DUDE???? TO TAUNT HIM???

also don get me started on people woobifying uwuing softboying raiden. That man is in his late 30s and has killed hundreds of people. I feel like people need to sit down and watch the mgr cutscenes again and just pay attention to how raiden acts because he is NOT LIKE THAT. I feel like people really really really want to display him in that sort of way just because hes pretty but (imo) I just read him as somewhat deadpan and ehhh... "stoic" for a lack of better words for a lot of his attitude and personality in MGR. hes a little tiny bit of a loser in mgs2 but not the point since its mgr time stuff.. that man would NOT say uwu or kyaaaa >_< or blush like a schoolgirl you would have to hold a gun to his head to make him do that. he is anything but a confused shy teenager going hmph and puffing a lock of hair out of his face because BRASIL NUMERO UNO said something bordering on sexual harassment to him in a fandom drawing(obviously not those exact words but u get my gist). I saw this post once about him not knowing what sex is and I wanted to claw my eyes out of my skull. HE GOT A WOMAN PREGNANT YOU ANIMAL

#good lord. sorry. this is worded terribly but I hope you get what point im trying to make #edit: also EVERYONE makes out of character jokes for rai/den including me because its funny #but when you claim it as fact and in character with genuine serious intent. thats where I get the mallet

[myork]

.

#im sorry i clearly need some time #im so happy for them and so happy for everybody who was able to process this in a healthy manner and now feel light and look forward #i cant #im so happy for them and im so happy they’re getting this time they deserve it but at the same time im so sad and i cant process these #emotions rn #ive been having terrible days that turned into weeks and then just the whiplash of laughing at their jokes to suddenly talking about the #hiatus and seeing jimin cry i just #idk what to do idk how to process this how to not feel so heartbroken like i wish i could’ve found them sooner just to make this last more #and i rlly love all of them and im here for all 7 of them but when they said they wont gather together like this for some it broke #something inside of and idk if im being dramatic but this is so hard for me and i have nobody to talk about this with #and idk im gonna go away for a while this is all people are talking about and its not comforting me #denial isn’t healthy but at least it wont hurt #my irl life is changing and i don’t respond well to change #the hardest part of my life till now was 2 years ago and thats i found them and now my life is changing big time and i can’t believe they #wont be together for it #they were the only thing i had that made me happy or made me feel ‘something’ once upon a time #and in a way they still are. #things are changing well a lot of things are and ig i don’t feel ready idk how to express it any better im sorry #i might gif the happy moments or the performance tomorrow but we’ll see 😞

[lucifermonsii]

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Top Male Reader

cw: bottom!ghost, smut, fingering.

-ˏ͛⑅　‧̥̥͙‧̥̥ ̥ ̮ ̥ ⊹ ‧̫‧ ⊹ ̥ ̮ ̥ ‧̥̥‧̥̥͙　⑅ˏ͛-

It's been a few months after Y/N and Ghost broke up. Ghost has always been a difficult person, being cold and blunt towards his significant other. Having a thick barrier between them, the boundaries in the relationship was a lot. No bed sharing, No holding hands, No this no that.. But when they had sex it was different, Ghost loved the way Y/N pounded on him. Bullying his prostate over and over again with his large member inside of him, the way his gummy walls clutched onto the man's cock was a pleasure both Ghost and Y/N loved to experience. Y/N bringing Ghost heaven and back as he roughly thrusted into him in and out over and over again, the way Ghost's eyes were rolled back. Drool dripping out of the corner of the lieutenant's mouth down to his chin, his thighs trembling from pleasure.

But it was all over, due to Ghost's attitude towards the male they decided to part and broke up. Ghost had always been afraid of being in a gay relationship within the military work field, who would think that their cold and stern lieutenant would be gay? And a bottom!?

Ghost came into the common area after he finished his workout, doing his usual routine before Y/N and Soap came in and sat together. Having breakfast and talking, the sergeant making terrible dad jokes as Y/N simply smiles while eating his food. Sometimes slight giggling because he dosent want to choke on his food. Overall they were having a great time, But Ghost? He was watching everything. The way Soap would occasionally brush his finger's against Y/N's thighs for shits and giggles, of course the male really didint care much since Soap was his best buddy. Ghost on the other hand was staring at the whole interaction, gaze filled with jealousy and rage. But not enough for him to react. yet.

That was until Soap gripped onto Y/N thigh, thats when Ghost had enough. The lieutenant marched towards them before gripping onto Y/N's shoulder and dragged him away forcefully. "What the fuck?," Said Y/N as he stared at Ghost in disbelief and confusion, eventually being forced into a small confined room with the lieutenant. Door locked.

Y/N stared at him with his e/c eyes, confused. "Why did you have to drag me." Y/N said along with a raised eyebrow as he stared down at Ghost with his e/c eyes, Ghost in returned just stared up at the taller male. "Im sorry, for everything, for how i've been acting towards you when we were together." Said Ghost, for the first time he was being genuine which surprised the other male a bit.

A sigh escaped Y/N lips as his eyes darted back from Ghost to the door, "Sure, but that dosent explain to why you've dragged me here," said Y/N as he stares at Ghost with his head cocked to the side, arms crossed over his chest. "I need you." Ghost said as he stares up at him, eyes filled with need and lust as he uncomfortably shifted his thighs to hide his apparent bulge. Ghost managed to get a grin out of the male as he stared up at Y/N, "So this is your way of forgiving?" Y/N said, amused as he leaned towards Ghost, His breath hot against the lieutenant's.

With that being said Ghost lifted his balaclava till the bridge of his nose and pushed his lips against Y/N's. The other male returning back the kiss as his hands crept onto his waist, now firmly pressing Ghost to the wall. The kiss deepens as their tongues intwined, Y/N's hands caressing Ghost's side up and down. Eventually the kiss broke and the two breathed again, the thumb of Y/N's now beneath Ghost's shirt and slowly sliding it up. Ghost lets out a sigh as he leaned the back of his head against the wall, letting the other male take his shirt off — which he did willingly. He kissed Ghost again, his hand now against the shorter male's chest as his other hand was gripped onto his waist. Firm but not enough to leave a bruise.

The kiss broke before they got to the point. Y/N stripped the man and turned him around before shoving him against the wall, Y/N jerked him own, collecting pre-cum at his tip before using it as lube and teasing it at the rim of Ghost's entrance with his index finger. A whimper escaped Ghost's lips as he felt the sensation, the taller male's index finger now inside of Ghost. Finger fucking him slowly to stretch him before adding another finger and continuing to finger fuck him, his fingertips brushing against Ghost's prostate which caused the lieutenant to moan. Y/N continued to thrust his fingers in and out of him, small soft whimper and moans escaped Ghost's lips as Y/N's fingers shoved against his gummy walls.

Finally his fingers are retracted, leaving Ghost's hole wet and all prepped. Y/N inched himself into Ghost slowly with his large member, the tip of his cock now inside of Ghost made a grunt escaped the taller male's lips as Ghost's walls clenched around his tip. Eager he was he attempted to clench down on Y/N's cock, wanting to take him fully in — which Y/N complied to, shoving his large member into Ghost. His gummy walls tight and wet around the man's shaft, a grunt escaped his lips from how tight he was. He had to fight the urge to shove his cock all the way in, but refused to as he continued to inch himself further into Ghost.

After managing to shove his whole cock in, Ghost clenches around his member and moaned at the feeling. Y/N began to thrust into him, slowly before he picks up the pace. Ghost's hips in sync with his as the pace quickens, whimpers and moans escaped Ghost's lips as he grips onto Y/N's forearms. The man's grip on his hips now tightening as he thrusts harder and deeper into Ghost, wet slaps of skin against skin filled the room as he continued to thrust in and out of him which cause Ghost to be even more vocal. He covered his own mouth with the palm of his hand as he continued to whimper and moan, his lips quivered as drool began to pool out of the corner of his mouth. Eyes rolled back and face flushed from Y/N thrust so hard into him as his prostate was continuously bullied by him.

His breathing was hot and heavy from being pounded, Y/N's thrusts began to be sloppy as he was close to his climax. His pace quickens as the sound of wet slapping of skin against skin fastens, Ghost's aching cock now dripped with pre-cum from not getting attention. Ghost grabbed onto his shaft as he began to jerk himself off whilst the man behind him continued to thrust into him, sticky strings of white stains the wall from Ghost as Y/N reached his climax and came into him. Ghost felt full, the feeling of his warm seed inside of him was a lot to take in. To the point where there was a trail of his cum trailing down from his hole till his thigh, slowly dripping down. They both get a breather before Y/N pulled out his member, a wet 'plop' sound was made when he fully pulled himself out. He gripped onto Ghost's ass cheeks and stretched it apart, looking at the wet entrance of Ghost, how his cum leaks out and puffy it was from being ruined.

#call of duty modern warfare ii #ghost mw2 #x male reader #ghost simon riley #male reader #top male reader #cod mw x reader #dom male reader #simon ghost riley x male reader

[eilishsluv]

could u write a fanfic maybe a angst to fluff? perhaps billie stops giving attention and reader overthinks which leads to angst then fluff. hope ur well:)

sure anon! i hope this is how you wanted<3

attention

billie eilish x fem!reader

summary: billie had stopped giving you the attention she used to which lead to you overthinking & so an argument

warnings: arguing, hickies, kissing & unedited

notes: this was fun to write, enjoy reading:)

billie was an extremely busy person, she had been ever since she stepped foot into the famous business. but these past few weeks you've been feeling extremely neglected by her, its happened before but never for this long. usually only afew days but its almost been 2 months. this had made your thoughts sprial.

overthinking was a bad habit of yours but how could you not especially right now? her flirty comments with other famous people, fans & just anyone. you loved billie & so did she, but now you definitely doubted it.

you both laid in her bed, your head on her chest & usually she'd avoid her phone, or atleast her hands somewhere on you, but no, not today. billie had both her hands on her phone, with her arms on either side of you, barely brushing against you as she typed.

you were done, the jealousy, overthinking & worry got to you. you managed to move away from billie & off the bed.

"whats wrong baby?" billie questioned watching you look around the room.

you ignored her completely, although hearing her voice & petname hurt your heart terribly. scurrying around her room finding your clothes & some of your belongings, billies brain started to tik realising you were leaving.

"woah woah woah, y/n what are you doing?" billie started to move off the bed to stand with you. this made your blood boil.

"oh so you can flirt with other people, ignore me completely, make me feel like shit but you expect me to stay & deal with all of it?" as you talked your voice got louder & louder, you were pissed.

the distress was visible in her face, you stared at her waiting on a response.

"y/n what are you on about?" billie was on the verge of tears, you on the other hand had hot tears streaming down your cheeks already.

"you think i dont see everything you do billie?! for fucks sake, i mean really? really. every single comment you make on another person breaks me apart cause i went from hearing them every single second to once a week if im fucking lucky!" your voice broke all throughout that sentence but you had to get that out, but you couldnt scream all you wanted to.

billie slowly stepped towards where you were standing. she was insanely intimidating when she wanted to be, all you did was step further back up until you hit the wall.

she stared deep into your eyes, hers showed a sad although dominant expression.

"is that all you think & feel?" billie looked as if she was joking, you didnt care. she asked for it whether or not she was serious.

you scoffed looking down then back up into her eyes.

"do you seriously think thats all? i mean billie all i fucking want is your attention but you dont even give a single fuck to me anymore. you have done nothing but ignore me for weeks!" screaming that in her face felt therapeutic but also painful.

billie looked speechless, you guys had argued before but never over something like this.

"you think i dont love you?" her sentence hung in the air, your face gave it all away. billie cleared her throat before continuing.

"which other girl is dancing in my house, wearing my clothes, coming with me to events, sleeping in my bed in my arms, cooking me dinner or listening to me make a new album? y/n you are the only girl i want & need, i own up to being distant but i dont want another girl" billies tears started to fall. you wiped them away as she leaned into your touch.

"im sorry baby." you felt like shit for everything you did in the past 10 minutes.

"dont be sorry for my actions & how ive treated you" you both felt bad but only wanted one thing, & that was eachother.

billie leaned down into your neck, leaving kisses & marks. it was one of her ways of saying sorry & that she loves you.

"i love you" you spoke

"i love you mamas" billie answered back.

she was all you wanted & you were all she wanted, she definitely cleaned her act up after that.

#billie eilish x reader #billie eilish #eilishsluv

[luci-is-a-bitch-x3x]

Obey me! Lucifer nsfw drabble

━☆*:･ﾟ✧✧ ♡ ❀ ♡ ✧━

Sorry I haven't posted in a bit! My lifes got a little hectic but i have lots of ideas coming! Im still working on the twins reactions to Mc & the strange noise, but I felt bad for not posting. Remember the characters may not be how you imagine! I apologize for any poor spelling, bad grammar or terrible jokes! So without further ado enjoy my Lucifer nsfw drabble!

━☆*:･ﾟ✧✧ ♡ ❀ ♡ ✧━━☆*:･ﾟ✧✧ ♡ ❀ ♡ ✧━

Some people think Lucifer won't sub or wouldn't like subbing but i think if he respected the person or thought the person was higher ranked, had more authority then him, i think he'd take pride in subbing for them. On his knees servicing someone he respects so highly, the pride he feels when someone with higher authority praises him, hearing those praises so lewd, makes it even better. Knowing how powerful and respected the individual is, knowing the individual could have anyone, but they keep choosing him? Hes the only one who makes them feel this good who gets to hear such lewd praises? Lucifer's pride is soaring through the roof. Humiliating words don't even flatten his pride. No not when hes so pridefully pleasing an individual he basically considers master. Lucifer takes pride in "being his own master" but this fool is a right hand man at heart. Hes a pleaser he likes someone in power keeping him in check and directing him if need be. He likes someone who knows they have the power but is more than willing to let Lucifer and his pride seem like he's in charge. But when he's alone with his S/O he likes not having to be in control sometimes. Boss him around use him as you feel fit. He is you're toy, you're dog to command around, and the Avatar of Pride takes pride in being commanded by you. Also this poor man works his ass off dude. Hes always in charge hes always keeping things calm and collected and dealing/caring for others. You can't tell me he wouldn't like to be cared for everynow and then. Everyone says his pride gets in the way of letting someone take care of him and in some situations i agree. In front of others no its not allowed he has to seem in charge, but babying Lucifer in the priviate of his office or room? The man is a puddle in you're hands. How long has it been since someone cared for him? Let alone babied and treated him so delicately? Acting so gently like he was the most important thing in their lives? Lucifer is so offput that his pride can be damned, he never knew being cared for could be so great he felt so loved. Lucifer's sin doesn't just happen for himself, Lucifer takes pride in his partner. So much pride and love for his partner, that when his partner loves and cares for him, Lucifer feels pride in the fact that he's the one their with, hes the one their caring for, hes the one their in love with. His partner is probably one of the things he has the most pride in. Vanurable moments with Lucifer are special, don't speak of them outside of his room or office or he may never let you have a moment like that with him again. Lucifer has a reputation to upkeep but for you, his lover, his master, his human, he will happily let you see the othersides of him, in private ofc.

━☆*:･ﾟ✧✧ ♡ ❀ ♡ ✧━━☆*:･ﾟ✧✧ ♡ ❀ ♡ ✧━

Thats all for now babes! Hope you enjoyed!! ♡ This is not proofread. Feel free to comment or reblog any thoughts or any add ons you have! This is the first time I've written something like this so let me know if you enjoyed this!!! Ill try and get more post out soon! I promise more content is coming, thank you for you're patience!! Stay Safe! & Stay Groovy Scooby! ‹𝟹

━☆*:･ﾟ✧✧ ♡ ❀ ♡ ✧━

⟡˙⋆Masterlist⋆˙⟡

#obey me drabble #obey me thoughts #obey me imagines #obey me x reader #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer x reader #om lucifer #lucifer x mc #om lucifer x reader #obey me lucifer #lucifer x reader #obey me smut #om smut #obey me lemon #obey me nsft #not proofread #obey me lucifer smut

[crushedsweets]

ok ok ok ok so i feel like,m idk. hat do you think the creeps are like when they laugh or smile. like full on snorting sobbing out of breath red tomato face laughing or just lik "haaha" or what

HIIII i love this ask its so cute. again, applies to my au, so if i mention smth weird its cuz its smth deep in my brain.... LOL

tims a chuckler... its like a deep, almost raspy chuckle. if its ever funny enough for a full laugh, he's wheezing.

brian also chuckles, but he has a huge smile and it sounds a lot more genuine than tim half the time. we all know what his smile looks like it is very pleasant .

toby's always cheesing. ok jk no he's not but he likes to laugh, it feels good. he'd start with a closed mouth, trying not to smile laugh cuz he's also annoying and doesnt want to give ppl the satisfaction that theyre funny, but he can't hold it in and will literally throw his head back laughing at random shit

kate has a cute little smile, those little crescent smile lines at the corner of her motuh - she has a quiet laugh most of the time, she's really not the type to go HAHAHA...

natalie snorts. if smth is funny she's snorting and u know it. not even laughing she'll just snort n nod along

jack just has a very normal like. hahah. like if its funny he's gonna bbe like haha. IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN like theres litetally so many guys in my classes who just laugh like hahaha and thats jack.

sally giggles, obviously . shes like lol. hehe. haha. HEHE. she has those over-sized big ass teeth that kids have when they havent grown into their adult teeth yet, so it looks rlly cute when she smiles. always smiles w her teeth

ben wheezes, snorts, rolls his head back, fucking grips his stomach, he goes the full mile. it is never that funny but wow will he laugh.

jeff also wheezes but it sounds like he's a chainsmoker,closer to tims wheeze rather than bens wheeze. its ugly. he smiles w his teeth too, and its fucking. his teeth wont even be touching his smile is just huge idk like hes ugly idk bro omfg. im sorry. no. he always sounds like hes laughing at you, rather than with you

liu wheezes too, runs in the family i guess. he just sounds like a much more pleasant, genuinely happy version of jeff. laughs with you. will put a hand on ur shoulder if u made a joke and laugh and tilt his head down and shake his head n shit.

jane has a quick sudden "HAH" type of laugh. it kinda surprises people cuz youd expect more of a gentle "haha" thing but its so sudden and loud and its cute fr.

nina fucking giggles she wont shut the FUCK UP she will keep going and snort and slap her knee. her and ben r the same theyre so annoying. shes so cute though.

ann has an annoying ass sultry laugh. like it almost seems like shes forcing it to be sexy. its terrible. she smirks too. its awful

lulu has a very light, airy laugh. never smiles with her teeth. it almost echoes when shes in fog

sadies laugh sounds like shes crying like the amt of time shes been laughing hella hard and someones liek RU OK and shes liek YEA ... then covers her face to laugh its so bad

dina has a sinister ass laugh idk how to explain that one either. a mix of HEHEHE and HAHAHAH like its never that serious but shes laughing like idek.

#creepypasta #creepypasta hcs #hcs #ticci toby #jeff the killer #creepypasta clockwork #nina the killer #im just tagging randos #eyeless jack #ok im bored of tagging #ty for ask:)

[kumezyzo]

hellooo! can you write something about breaking up w bf!sapnap?

im not joking when i say i got two seperate asks for this. and im all for it. i made sap seem like a huge asshole in this btw. like, so insanely shitty that its almost out of character/it probably is.

anyway, enjoy! or dont :) m.list

it built up slowly over time. once the honeymoon phase had passed, you two were comfortable. and then you two needed a break. he needed breathing room and you need to reevaluate where you wanted this relationship to go. when before you could see yourself marrying him, growing old with him, having a family with him, now you just saw his flaws.

he didnt know why but he felt bored. it hurt him to admit to himself. and it hurt even more having to tell his friends about it. the same friends that had grown to love you and you had grown to love aswell.

"you're... bored?" dream asked his best friend, looking at him like he was crazy. "of a person?"

nick winced as he heard it out loud for the first time. he looked at george who looked at him in complete concern.

"it sounds worse when you put it like that..." nick responded. he rubbed at his eyes.

"it was that bad to begin with," george said shaking his head.

during the break, you felt as if you two had broken up. and the longer it went on, the more he acted like you two actually had. and it really solidified it when he started talking to other people.

you didnt think he was doing it seriously. maybe it was just to make you jealous, maybe he did stoop that low. but then you saw how how george and dream were just as confused as you.

he really did try to hide it from you. from everyone. but no ones perfect.

"nick, who are you texting?" dream asked over his shoulder, startling him. he looked at dream with wide eyes.

"what the fuck are you doing?" he asked defensively. you looked up from where you were sitting at the kitchen island to the other two on the couch. he glanced at you before looking back at his best friend.

"i was just trying to scare you..." dream said walking towards you in the kitchen confused. he had gone upstairs to get his laptop to show you something. "but really, who were you texting?"

"your mom, thats who,"

when you found it he was talking to someone, you couldnt help but feel terrible at the idea that he had already gotten over you.

you walked into your old shared bedroom, nervously avoiding eye contact with your ex-boyfriend. he looked at you blankly as you stood there with your arms crossed, trying to find words to say.

he was sat up in bed, looking up from his phone at you. "...whats up?"

"we can agree we're not together anymore? like... this isnt gonna work out, right?" you continued to stare at your socks as you waited for the heart breaking answer. but you couldn't hold it in and looked up to see his face.

he looked small and deep in thought. he glanced down at his phone screen and back up at you.

"why are you thinking about it?" you ask offendedly. "im asking to make sure we're on the same page here. it wasnt an actual fucking question."

your words rang through the air. he sat there, hearing them play over in his head. it was like he was suddenly understanding the situation. he replayed your relationship, remembering how much he loved you. how happy he was.

im sorry if this seems all over the place. this idea was a lot more elaborate in my mind. but i didnt wanna make it longer. sorry...

if you want a longer version, it would take a while for me to get it out. im gonna be super busy for a while so domt expect as frequent uploads. im also in a lowkey bad mood rn so... im sorry if this is kinda dry. -nony

#sapnap #sapnap x reader #anon #sapnap x you #sapnap fluff #sapnap x y/n #dteam #asks #sapnap x streamer reader #sapnap angst #sapnap x reader angst #sapnap x yn angst #angst #dteam angst #dream team angst

[finneysbaseball]

Ok ok ok hear me out hcs for vance...and y\n...with a horrible sense of humor like you could just say "allmight" and they would be on the floor wheezing

stop i love this request sm

vance hopper x reader (gn reader mostly but if i use any other pronouns sorry in advance )

heacanons about being vance hoppers s/o and having terrible humor

tw: bad humor? idfk theres like cuss words and stuff

this literally applies to me so idk why im having such a hard time writing it😭

anyways

you'd probably laugh at him when he's playing pinball at his concentrated face

hes like a mix of "😤😠" trying to win his game

and you're just like "🤭" trying to hold in you're laugh

nah cus ik he'd be pressed

and he'd def be pouting.

i saw a video on tiktok of a baby laughing at a sweet potato. thats you.

vance would think you're psychotic

like you'd be laughing at some random like a fire hydrant for example and vance would be like "🤨"

you'd def get on his nerves

bro he'd be so annoyed with you

like you'd be laughing at something that shouldn't be funny and he'd cover your mouth

you'd laugh at that too.

did i say he'd be annoyed?

vance would not get it at all like

"tf are u laughing at shit head?"

you once laughed at the way he said "shit"

also like if you have humor like this i bet you laugh at your own jokes (me tbh)

like you'd say some kind of dad joke that nobody else laughed at and you'd be there crying laughing

little giggles all the time when u see something funny

vance could not do shit around you without hearing you giggle at literally nothing

someone could be talking a certain way and you'd giggle at it

one time you were zoning out staring at nothing and then did a little laugh and it lowkey scared vance

thats all cus u cant think of anything else💔 headcanon requests are still open!

#vance hopper x reader #finney blake #robin arellano #the black phone #brady hepner #tbp #vance hopper #bruce yamada #gwen blake #billy showalter #griffin stagg

[wolfythewitch]

so if thats ur chosen measuremeant, how much odysseus head does diomedes get <- this is an awful joke im so sorry but it had to be said

Terrible joke. At least 7

#wolfy tedtalks #anon

[sushis-wild-imagination]

Let’s Get Married (Chapter 2)

Lets get Married Masterlist

General masterlist

Words: 2k ish

Summary: date number 2

Notes: Im terribly sorry for those who waited for 2 years for me to finally update this story. Life happened. Thats all the excuse I have. Hoping to continue this series this time.

Taglist: [Ive tagged everyone that commented and has reblogged previous chapters, text me if you want on or off the list!]

@lunathewritingcat @jtrstp @povkths @yeontaegu @wishyouwere-sober @suyaaachin @peachgukie @anemogae @l33j3n8 @richauntsstuff @cherrriesss @seongstarlight @solaimnida @aak22 @darkprincessriddle @rosielvrr @charlie-xo @iamthehotdemon @mitchii @gojonastyslut @sugaglaze93 @internetmultifandomfangirl @roceanss @cheols-hands @deltaromeo3 @everyw0nu

————

“Is there places you want to go to?” He asks while driving with both his hands on the wheel.

You and Dohyun were on another date, this time going to an amusement park. You had written a list of things you wanted to do with your partner and they converted that into chits. You knew Dohyun’s suggestions were also in the chit box. The staff gave you a box to pick a piece of paper from, that is what you would be doing today. Lee Do Hyun being the gentleman he is, he let you pick. You picked one of your own chits which said ‘a date to an amusement park”

The bad part was, you weren’t too thrilled, you weren’t a big fan of amusement parks, now that you know its Dohyun, you also know he isn’t a big fan of amusement parks either.

“Oppa will take you everywhere you want to go, let’s go” he says playfully while driving.

“What oppa, I’m 3 months older” you smack his arm playfully.

“What? When is your birthday? Nuna?” You laugh out loud at the hilariousness of it all.

“Its 6th January”

He lets out an “aah” sound like he realised something.

“So nuna…” he starts teasingly

“Yah!” You smack his driving arm playfully and he decides to play along by acting like he’s losing control of the car because of the hit.

“You’re gonna get us killed” you joke. The mood in the car was light, just like how you wanted.

You had packed some sandwiches for the both of you. You pulled it out getting a little hungry because you hadn’t had breakfast yet.

He eyes your sandwich and pouts. You notice that.

“I have one for you too, are you hungry?” You ask and suddenly his face brightens up.

You giggle at that and mutter “cute” under you breath.

You open his sandwich and go to feed him but he holds out his hand instead. It was very awkward.

“Im sorry” you quickly apologise and hand it to him.

“Were you gonna feed it to me?” He asks giggling.

“I wasn’t thinking, its just easier with both hands on the wheel” you say in attempts to defend your dumbass move. You were so embarrassed you start looking out the window.

“Feed it to me” he says and your head turns to him at that.

“No, no its okay, its too weird”

“This is how we break the awkwardness y/n” he says and hands his sandwich back to you.

He opens wide and you couldn’t even meet his eyes, you look away while shoving the sandwich in his face, you just wanted this to be over, you were red with embarrassment.

The car stops at a red light and he looks over. “Look at me, you’re shoving food up my nose” he says acting annoyed.

You do exactly that again looking at him straight in the eye. That makes him giggle too.

You finally reach the amusement park, luckily it wasn’t too crowded because it was a weekday, but wearing heels was definitely not the correct choice. You could already feel the pain that you would experience at the end of today.

You walk around for a bit, you end up getting some cotton candy.

“Do you like rollercoasters?” He asks you, you shake your head while you munch on cotton candy.

“Do you want some?” You offer to him and he ends up taking the biggest bite known to man. Half of your cotton candy has disappeared.

“YAH LEE DO HYUN” he chuckles and take off running. You end up chasing him for cotton candy.

“Stop stealing my fo-“

Thud.

You fall on your face. It wasn’t a pretty site but you’ve been trained on how to handle these situations. You end up giggling and sitting pretty because a camera was always following you.

“Are you okay?” You could hear concern in his voice as he rushes to you to help you up.

You look at the broken heel.

“I knew it, I had a bad feeling” you say as you take his hands and try to stand straight.

“Are you sure you’re not hurting anywhere?” He asks meanwhile all you could focus on was your wasted cotton candy. You stare at the cotton candy on the floor, now dirty and inedible.

“My cotton candy is ruined” you say sounding genuinely sad and that makes him laugh out loud.

“Ill buy you another one” he says softly while trying to get you to the closest bench to take a seat.

He examines you feet for scratches and turns so his back is facing you.

“Hop on” he was going to give you a piggyback ride. No way.

“No, no, Im fine to walk” you argue but he insisted harder.

“We’ll go to the souvenir store and get you some flipflops cmon” he said patting his back indicating you to get on it.

You give in and gently put your arms around his neck and feet around his waist. Are you dreaming? What has your life come to? These kind of questions wonder in your mind.

“Am I heavy?” You ask him feeling guilty he has to carry you, but it makes great tv and both of you know that.

He suddenly acts weak and acts like you’re too heavy acting like he’s losing balance.

“Yah Lee Dohyun” you complain shaking his shoulders.

“You’re gonna fall again if you keep that up” he says and you stop.

The walk to the souvenir store was about 5 minutes, you could see all the rides and the places at the amusement park. You were excited but you were also scared of rides. You were mentally preparing yourself to go on them.

“You have to get me more cotton candy please” you say and he sticks out his pinky finger saying

“I promise”

You intertwine your pinky finger with his and stamp it.

“Tell me one thing, if you don’t like rollercoasters, why did you pick it as a date venue?”

You were embarrassed again, the second time today. “I’m not sure, couples look cute on amusement park dates”

He chuckles at that. “Today is going to be eventful” he says as he goes into the store and he still hasn’t put you down.

“Put me down”

“Its too dirty”

You point at a purple slipper and he had to squat to get it. That really wears him out you hear him groan.

“Yah put me down if its hard” you say and try to wiggle out.

“Its not” you could hear his laboured breathing but you couldn’t slip out successfully.

He eventually puts you on a chair and slides on the flip flops like you’re Cinderella. You couldn’t tell if it was for the cameras or not but you didn’t mind it.

“Thanks” you say to him before getting back on your feet.

“You owe me cotton candy” you say as you skip ahead to the store. He chuckles shaking his head.

While you get cotton candy, you hear a rollercoaster right above you. It was finally the time to go on these rides, what you actually came here for.

“Loser rides this” you say pointing at the rollerscoaster that just passed over you head. You could see him gulp.

“Rock paper scissors” you do a surprise attack.

You pull out a rock.

You sink to the floor. Its always the ones that suggest such ideas.

He had pulled out paper. He won. You had to ride the roller coaster.

“Trial round, lets go again once please” you beg him while you were on the floor. He says nothing and only walks to the part where you watch the rollercoaster laughing so loudly like he was a villian in a disney movie.

“Bye y/n” he says without turning back to look at you.

“Such a jerk” you say jokingly and stand in the queue for the rollercoaster. You were terrified, it looks dangerous. All the loops and the turns freaked you out.

“You’re dead if I die, Lee Do hyun” you yell out for him to hear.

“Sure” he responds as loudly and sarcastically.

You somehow get on the ride and finish it. It was horrible. You suddenly remembered why you don’t like rollercoaster. You were nauseous and dizzy. You genuinely thought you were going to die.

You walk towards the bench dohyun was sitting on and decide to do another surprise attack as soon as you are in 3 meters radius from him.

“Rock paper scissors” you yell suddenly and thw trick works. You won with rock this time and immediately jumped into a celebration dance.

“Lets go! You’re turn bye Dohyunah”

You hear him groan and hang his head. He was forced to ride the viking. It looked thrilling. All you could hear was do hyun shrieking throughout. You laughed everything you heard a scream. It was hilarious to you.

When he got off all you heard was “you’re dead” from him.

You have a lot of fun watching him and eating the rest of your cotton candy. He gets off the ride and walks towards you.

“I’m going to puke” you immediately try to get away from him while he puts in hands on your shoulders and acts like he’s going to puke on you. You try to push him off almost screaming not to puke on you.

“Lee do hyun, don’t do it, don’t do it” you warn, squirming.

He stops acting and pulls away. “Gotcha” he says and takes away the last piece of cotton candy in your hand and stuffs it in his.

“Lee Do hyun, compensate my cotton candy now” you yell while he kept walking away.

“Compensate?” He giggles. He does end up buying you some churros.

You take some cute coupley pictures and some selfies where you force him to do a heart and look cute.

Next you go to the haunted house. You absolutely dreaded this. But you had to to make the show more interesting. You were literally working.

You slowly walk in subconsciously holding on to his arm for dear life even before entering.

It was over, you were finally out and your make up was running your hair was all over the place, you had bunched up Dohyuns shirt in your fist at his torso. Your knuckles were white. It was horrible, you definitely cried.

You sink to the floor as soon as you get out. “I’m never doing that again”

—-

You were now in his car, covered in cameras so you throw up a peace sign and strike a pose while he gets into the drivers seat.

You turn on the radio meanwhile, it blares somi’s new song, but you immediately turn it down.

“Why did you turn it down, she was “dumb dumb”ing, i love that song” dohyun complains.

“Wont it get copyrighted?” You look over at him with eyes wide.

It strikes him and makes an Oshape with his lips, agreeing that you’re right.

“Whats your type?”

“I like clingy girls, its cute”

“Lee do hyun!” You whine out of no where, clinging to his bicep, making jokes. He burst out in laughter.

“I think we should give each other nicknames, what do you like to call someone you love?”

“I’ve done baby before, but what if its something only we can call each other?”

“Did you have something in mind?” He asks looking over at you in the passenger seat. He looked perfect.

“Do-do” You immediately spit out like you’ve given it thought all your life and now was your turn to say it.

“That was fast, someone’s been thinking about me” this makes the blood rush to your cheek. That maybe true.

“Im gonna call you snowflake”

If you had coffee, you could've spit it out.

“Why?”

“Cause we met in the snow”

A big smile creeps up your face. It was cute.

“What about my type, will you not ask me back?” You say trying to change subject.

“I know your type, its me” he brags and earns himself a playful smack to his bicep and some giggles.

——

Im so sorry this took so long!

#lee do hyun #lee dohyun #lee dohyun x reader #lee dohyun fanfic #sweet home #kdrama #kdrama actor #kdrama actor fanfic #melancholia #youth of may #my glory

[ranposgirlboss]

rubs my hands all maniacally😍

a little birdie told me that your requests are open!

i was thinking abt the bsd boys reacting to a s/o that eats the weirdest food combinations LMAO

i eat cheese puffs and hot sauce aND WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I ATE APPLES WITH KETCHUP BAHAH

anyways that’s all 🙏

BAJUAHJSGVHSABJGASHJBSAGHVSBJGASBHJ BRO IF U LIKE THAT EAT APPLES AND SOYSAUCE ITS SO BANGER!!! THE SWEET AND SALTY SAVOURY FEEL >>>> also popcorn and ketchup is so real

ALSO PROPS TO MY BESTIE FOR HELPING ME WITH SOME OF THESE IDEAS!! (mainly poes) THANK HER IN YOUR HEARTS BC SHE DOESNT HAVE AN ACC ON HERE!!!

i HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THESE OMG

chara list: tecchou, jouno, ranpo, poe and dazai,

GENRE: FLUFF >:))

i made them all little skrunklies in this >:))

-------------------------

TECCHOU

-IM SORRY IF I SPELLED THAT HORRIBLY WRONG I ALWAYS CALL HIM KATCHOW (-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩___-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩)

-omg yall would be married instantly

-he has the papers signed

-FINALLY SOMEONE WHO WILL TRY SOME OF HIS COMBINATIONS!!!

-feels so understood

-if you ask him to try ur combos, HE WILL ALWAYS ACCEPT. A FELLOW WEIRD FOOD LOVER IN ARMS IS IN NEED OF HIS ASSISTANCE, AND HE CANNOT REFUSE.

-WOULD TAKE YOU OUT ON DATES AND GET EXTREMELY CONCERNED LOOKS FROM WAITERS.

-has had to protect you from jounos plots of world domination against weird food lovers and plots to murder you

-yall have a list of ur favorite food.

-so sexy

JOUNO

-(he looks so cute as a skrunkle anyways)

-haha

-run.

-dont even try to sneak it with him. he may be blind, but his other senses are at their prime and HE IS READY TO THROW HANDS

-"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, ONE TECCHOU WAS HARD ENOUGH I DONT NEED TWO GOD DAMN."

-might actually throw hands with you, like HELL JUST SMACK THE FOOD OUT OF YOUR HAND AND BE LIKE "n o ."

-so silly in theory but when he actually does slap it away it makes you want to beat him up so bad

-YOURE ASS BEST BE GLAD HE LOVES YOU OR HE WOULDVE TRIED TO KILL YOU AT LEAST 5 TIMES

-ugh i love the sassy skrunkle (ignore the fact he can kill you instantly)

RANPO

-WITH HIM, it all depends.

-it depends on how it tastes.

-because if it tastes actually good, HE WILL BE SO HAPPY

-"i knew you had good taste Y/N (人*´∀｀)｡*ﾟ+"

-if it tastes bad to him tho...

-HE WOULD BE SO BETRAYED

-would look like you just insulted his entire bloodline real

-"Y/N, how DARE YOU MAKE ME, THE GREATEST DETECTIVE, TRY THIS."

-it would take a long amount of sorries and sweets to get him to forgive you.

POE

-ok ok so listen

-would probably see you eating the weird ass shit, blink a few times to make sure he wasn't hallucinating, then go back to reading

-if you asked him to try it, he would be like "oh sorry i just ate a 5 course meal Y/N" (he's a terrible liar)

-but with him, you could probably convince him to try it 😈

-theres a very high chance he hates it, i know we don't know what their eating habits are like, but poe gives off picky vibes...

-would probably be like "w-wow Y/N thats uhm...that's really good for you Y/N................"

-would never try it again </3

DAZAI

-NGL HE WOULD HAVE WEIRD TASTE BUDS TOO

-I MEAN BRO LITERALLY ATE DOG FOOD AS IF IT WAS A CASUAL TUESDAY

-i feel like he would at least try them, and if he didn't like them, he would CHUCK THOSE BITCHES

-more as a joke then an actual insult, UNLIKE SOMEONE (jouno)

-swears hell pay for them after (he never does)

-one day you threaten to throw him across the room like your damn food he keeps throwing

-he threw extra food that day

-would beg convince you to try dog treats (fun author fact: i used to eat dog food when i was a kid. it sucked ass but i was hungry)

-YALL WOULD DO THOSE CHALLENGES WHERE YOU PUT RANDOM FOOD IN A BLENDER AND SEE HOW IT WOULD TEST.

-honestly just another way to bond with you

----------------------------------------

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THANKS FOR READING THIS SILLY THING I WROTE AND THANKS FOR REQUESTING ♡(ӦｖӦ｡). I ALWAYS CAN ACCEPT MORE REQS!!!! TYSM!!!!

i forgot to add tags the first TIME I POSTED BAHAJVGBHASGVGASUHJASVGHJABSJ

#anime #bsd #bsd x reader #fluff #food #dazai x reader #jouno x reader #tecchou x reader #poe x reader #bsd poe x reader #ranpo #ranpo x reader #I LOVE THIS IM KEEPING IT FOREVER. #justiceforjared