#im trusting people to be nice about this

[tsams-confessions]

im not hiding myself, I send an ask a long time ago saying how, as someone who liked to ship, I was doing my best to keep Moon as Ace representation as best as I could (Im demi- who loves silly lovers) I speak to some Ace artist and they had guide me, I been follwing a nice blog too! that often responds to my ask, but I leave this ask now to say.. what Im doing wrong? I keep reading these ask saying "how aphobic people are when removing the sex repulsed out of NewMoon!" when.. all I do is going by how he is acting in canon and what he said- the "I dont swin any way" was to a literal monster showing his ass.. but but , im not here to get yelled at. im here to know, to ask those anons who say me and others artist are being aphobic, to please guide me, what Im doing wrong? maybe is my like to proyect into characters I like? is it because I view im as Ace-Sex favorable? is it because I just like him to be with Solar? I ask those who leave those type of ask, to please tell me, and by extent. others that will read, what is it aphobic to view NewMoon as another "type" (hope is ok to say it like that) if Ace, please because I care to know..

.

#sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #sams #tsams confession #< block this if you dont want to see these #mod 1blood #im trusting people to be nice about this #i cant personally comment because i havent seen your work but #in my experience a lot of artists/writers forget the ace and/or aro part of the character's identity when making them sex/romance favorable #i dont think this is intentional and again i have no basis on your work in specific #but i would stop and think in depth about how his ace identity affects his relationship with sex #you say he's favorable! what drives him to it? enjoying the feeling? high libido in general? maybe he just finds it entertaining? #because him being ace *will* affect the motivation to do it. it doesnt necessarily mean it'll make him want it less/not at all #but id definitely put some thought into *why* he wants to. since from my understanding attraction is most often what makes allos want it #<- take that last bit with a grain of salt. im ace so thats mostly and educated guess on why allos do it #if anyone wants to add on feel free. if this is worded badly its because its late as fuck as of queuing lmao

[nandorsrelentless]

there seems to be far too many fans who can't seem to wrap their head around the fact that no relationship in the Vampire Chronicles is healthy. every relationship includes an element of abuse/power imbalance by normal standards. literally every single one.

they are all monsters who are no longer constrained by societal rules. so I don't think it's too crazy to expect them to do mosntorus things. the genre is Gothic HORROR. the show really prioritizes the HORROR element more so than other adaptaions, which i love.

i don't need louis to be a liar to enjoy lestat. if louis lied or misremebered things about the fight in episode 5, i literally do not care because it's never gonna make me hate louis. the baseline of what constitutes "evil" or "bad" is so different in iwtv because of the fact that they are NOT HUMAN. Claudia is literally a serial killer and she's still mother to me. ykwim?

the nature of vampirism is they have to kill to survive. so it would be really cool if people could accept louis, armand, and claudia as complex characters who are fundamentally not good people (because they aren't people!) without being racist about it. THEY ARE ALL KILLERS

im more interested in this exploration of the complexities of memory and seeing how the show integrates the other books into this story in a way that hasn't been done before than I am in discoursing about whether louis is a liar or not. who gives a shit???? grow up and realize that there are no good guys here and that's OKAY

#iwtv #tvc #lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac #interview with the vampire #amc iwtv #I pretty much cleansed all my feeds so i dont actually see much racism more so than i see people talking about it #just some random thoughts i guess in the wake of the new trailer just because i know things are gonna get weird #it would be nice if audiences could be trusted with complex and morally grey characters of color but idk #but i also think the fact that there are racists is not a reason to NOT make poc characters who are complex #same goes for the people who will interpret the portrayal of a morally grey poc character AS racist #there are certain tropes i think that are always going to have racist implications ofc and im not trying to discount that #but lets all be real here and realize that revisiting ep 5 to add more layers to it is NOT going to exonerate lestat by any means #add more complexity and layers and possibly show that louis was not AS helpless as he showed himself to be? maybe #but they are not going to exonerate the white character to make the black character look evil #idk if any of this made sense im just stream of consciousness rambling

[the-kipsabian]

wrestling fic writers!!

i have decided to be the change i wanna see, so lets do a nice little thing for each other, as a community full of incredible and talented writers. yes this is writer specific only, but thats cause thats where the main problem of people not interacting with creative works lies in this fandom as far as i can tell and have seen people talking about it especially in the last couple of months

if you read this, please add links to your written works. it can be just a single fic youre really proud of, your writing blog, your writing tag, your ao3 account, anything where your works can be found

and if you leave your link here, PLEASE check out someone else that has left their works, and interact with them. leave them a comment, even just a kudos, REBLOG their fic, etc. interacting is the keyword i want to emphasize here, along with building a sort of a masterpost of where to find people writing in this fandom

and if you are not a writer, youre still highly encouraged to interact with this post and share it and show love to the writers in this fandom, obviously!! i think that should go without saying, but adding it in anyways

a bit more about my vision and resources and such under the read more, but thats the gist of it. happy linking and please be kind and supportive to each other!! 💜

nobody is too big or too small to add their things on this list. if you write and post anything in this fandom whatsoever, be it fics or drabbles or headcanons, any companies or any kind of ships or reader inserts or any content whatsoever no matter how 'dead dove dont eat' or hell even if its just meta, we welcome all here and nobody can say that one thing is less valid than another. just please tag your content accordingly, especially if theres content warnings, and feel free to mention what you write, who you write, any info you wish to leave that would help people before they click on your links. but even so, that should not and hopefully will not deter people from interacting, no matter what it is. someones trash is another ones treasure, i promise you

and unless the amount gets really overwhelming, im personally going to be checking out everyone that leaves something here. unless it squeaks me out, but even then, i'll spread the word. and i just wish as many people as possible will do the same, and not just use this as a potential board to only get eyes on their stuff. ofc thats also the point, but you should give as much, if not more, than you get. we need to be kind and supportive of one another (besides, from personal experience, if you show love to someone else, they are more likely to do it back than without you taking the first step, so... pay it forward)

as for resources, heres a few links that should be helpful in leaving comments and feedback. of course everyone does their own thing and no comment is too big or too small to leave, but for those who need them. if you have anything you'd like added to this list, dont hesitate to get in touch or drop it in the post yourself!!

101 comment starters

ao3 floating comment box

kudos html

dont know how to comment? easy solutions

a quick hot guide to commenting (by yours truly)

an overall guide to appreciating fanfic writers

and just in general.. leave people comments. leave them asks about their projects. just go over and gush about their work. i know it sounds embarrassing but writers love nothing more than to hear that someone likes what they are doing. if you find a fic that hasnt been updated in forever, comment on it. it might just be the spark the author needs to continue. while kudos and likes are nice, and just as valuable to some, its definitely in the words the people leave for them that matter the most. im not saying this to put pressure on anyone, its just how it is, and i feel like unless people are writers themselves, and even then sometimes, thats just hard to grasp, especially if the writer is a smaller and less popular one who doesnt get a lot of traffic in the first place

i think thats all. just be nice and considered to everyone, reblog peoples works, this post with others add ons and so forth. and if i find anyone talking shit here or at other writers for something they share, you'll be blocked and im probably taking your kneecaps. be fucking nice. we are all struggling here and we need to stick together

happy sharing and commenting 💜💜

#wrestling fanfiction #wrestling fic #aew fanfic #aew fanfiction #wwe fanfiction #wwe fanfic #i hope this make some sort of coherent sense #despite being a writer im really bad at words lmao #i also dont know what to tag this with without clogging main tags so im going to trust moots to get this going first #just. this is a topic im passionate about. i love writing i love writers and having seen the wrestling fandom as of late really struggling #with this. we need to do something. even a little bit helps. actually get people leaving feedback and commenting again #supporting each other. we can do this together #dont let dreams be dreams lets fucking do this #just be nice and help each other out #im gonna stop now before i get overly emotional. if theres any questions let me know tho i think i got the main parts pretty clear here #again moots. im trusting you to get this started. im not gonna add my own shit here immediately this isnt about me #this is about the community as a whole #i also hope nobody is afraid of adding themselves here. you are all valid and worth the attention no matter what #just remember to also give if you leave something here. look at the previous links. look in the notes to find more people #okay thats it i need to make dinner now #lets just be kind and support one another. promise me that 💜 #night is an absolute mess on main

[napping-sapphic]

Really sorry guys but I’m all out of forehead kisses today😔

All I’ve got instead is mentally cradling your face and resting our foreheads together and reminding you that you are good, that you deserve love and kindness, that you’re welcome here, that i care about you and i hope you’re doing okay

Yeah sorry idk if that makes up for it….sorry for the inconvenience….

#wlw #wlw mood #sapphic #sapphism #lesbian #i love you i love you i love you I LOVE YOU #i want you to know i care about you #i want you to know that i hope you’re doing okay #i want you to have nice moments that make you smile #i want you to feel safe #i want you to be HAPPY #it’s five in the MORNING #and i havent slept #which means i need to be emotional about all the gay people in my phone #i care so much about you i want you to be happy #everyone line up RN #so i can forehead touch and words of affirmation you #im gay and i like sleeping #haha scheduling this for later and loser ass future me will probably forget about it lmao #she agrres though trust me i know her better than she knows me😤

[brazen-art]

Chiropractors near you:

(continue your art journey today by looking at this cool murkrow!)

#okay i did a nice blendy rendered piece now back to lineart and block colours- #even though that forces me to Think Harder kshkhh #I Will learn how to Colour using Solid Textured Blocks #its one of my fav art styles #one of my friends does colouring like that and its just the best #[their blog is ambathy-arts - go look at their fashionable bird people] #actually im just going to link one of their pieces in my description #its My Art and I can yell about my Cool Friends here #anyway here you go bracken lovers #come get your juice #lethal company #lethal company fanart #lethal company bracken #what are other tags artists use? this is a nice standalone #art #artists on tumblr #(ironically im not even that much of a fan for brackens lmao) #they're still neat #but listen. man. they have killed me -so- much #im dying out here. #my neck is apparently sooo snappable and I don't like that at all #people can't know I have a weenie neck :( #in video games that is #my irl neck is so strong and brawny and cool you can trust me #(do people read these tags?) #you should cause you need to know about the beautiful friend art #but you can ignore the neck stuff #if you want that is #im not the boss of you #(edited the face shhh)

[antifathomable-shapeshifter]

whats fascinating about my brain is that i frequently make clever observations amd connections thats others do not and yet i also frequent forget things like. the existence of Tylenol.

#neurodivergent #actually autistic #actually audhd #actually adhd #high functioning #i perfer the phrase 'competently insane' but << is common vernacular #i just get a headache or body pain or whatever and it takes me at least 8-12hrs of it to Remember #but everyone who hears me explain myself says im so smart #so yeah #(i bring up other peoples opinion bc Im So Smart Dude Trust Me is even less persuasive. or i feel like it is.) #god its so weird being better than others and trying so hard to not sound like a dick about it #like!! im nice to people and reliable!!! does it really matter if i see myself as superior? i have receipts!!!

[fuckmeyer]

Ok so I follow you because of your amazing analyzing and theories of twilight, but it's gotten to a point I have to consider reading your stories, and besides a Paul lahote story here or there over the years, I haven't really read twilight stories, especially ones that aren't about the Wolfpack.

I'm scared. So I wanted to ask about yours, what is it like?

Is it crazy like full of plot twists and insanity and madness covered into brilliance (the good kind) or crazy in a way that I start liking bella and edward (the terrifying part)?

(If you answer this, please consider the fact it might actually make me reread twilight (the original) and start ranting worse. For both our sanities, is it smart?)

Is it crazy like full of plot twists and insanity and madness covered into brilliance (the good kind) or crazy in a way that I start liking bella and edward (the terrifying part)?

both! liking Bella & Edward is THE biggest plot twist of this saga LOL. i'm not really one to hype my work so bear with me. here's the difference between Twilight & In The Afterlight:

the familiar:

setting. rainy rural PNW vibes

rough plot. girl meets vampire. vampire wants to kill her. love ensues. it starts you off in familiar territory, then slowly peels away as the story progresses. you'll find enough of the "iconic" scenes to keep you oriented in nostalgia, but not so much that you feel chained to the original book.

characters. no OCs. Bella & Edward are somewhat OOC, but their core traits are still intact.

the unfamiliar(ish):

Bella's personality. i think it was @blurry-walker who made this excellent point: we're supposed to like Bella because of how she's described, not by how she acts. Bella is not really selfless, mature, observant, compassionate, intellectual, or self-aware. which would be fine... if that were the author's intention. i've tried making Bella a mix between how she's described & how she acts: selfless, contemplative, & stubborn, with a sense of humor. & i threw in a backstory & hobbies - i.e, drawing, music, reading - so she has a life besides Edward. (she can still act like she's 18 tho. as a treat.)

Edward's personality. no stalking, no anger issues or mood swings, no misogyny, no invalidation of Bella's choices, no militant chastity. just a vampire who's lost his way & startled to discover he is every bit a part of this world as Bella. more humorous, more overwrought/ romantic, more contemplative.

the result is a relationship that's rooted in mutual respect, common interests & values, & genuine companionship. they talk about philosophy, they exchange mixtapes, they tease each other, & have slightly less self-control when it comes to sexual intimacy

James/Victoria plotline

twilight is less fairytale, more gothic horror

deeper thematic discussions (bc i think they're neat! :D). what does it mean to be you? how do you find yourself again when you're lost? what's the secret to keeping your humanity in death?

vampire/Cullen lore. what's the difference between a golden-eyed vampire and a red-eyed one? what are "la tua cantantes" and "mates"? why are the Cullens going to high school? what's the Cullen-Volturi relationship like? who are the Cullens, really? i'm trying to paint them as grayer characters & have their personalities/backstories make sense for who they are.

werewolf lore. i *hate* canon imprinting - how an imprinter loses him/herself to the imprint, how the imprintee can't say no, the fact that they imprint on CHILDREN when the theory behind imprinting is to "find the strongest genes"... NO. i hate it all. i hate that smeyer appropriates the legends of the Quileute tribe & how stereotypes/ tropes of Native people are perpetuated in this series. i especially hate the double-standards Bella puts on the pack vs the coven. justice for the wolfpack or bust

since you mentioned liking the wolfpack (same), the sequel, Come Nightfall (aka New Moon), has way more wolfpack content than the original, & we see a lot more interactions between Jake & Bella. (and Bella & Sam!)

i don't feel it's my place to tell you whether you should read this or even whether it's good. if it helps, this is what other people say:

"This… Was incredible. It was the kind of fanfiction that should be praised along the classics of the fandom, the kind you would want to print and put in the shelf in between Twilight and Life And Death."

"This is, to me, the epitome of great fanfiction--you took the story idea and characters and tweaked them to how you imagine it would be better as well as adding in your own flare, AND you have the story telling ability to back it up."

"You've managed to write something that not only surpasses the source material, but flies so far beyond it in nuance, craftsmanship, raw emotion and SMUT that it travelled through space and time continuum and shows no signs of stopping. Every time I think it can't get better, it does."

"I read both of your books in like 2 days; I couldn’t put them down. This is some of the best writing I’ve ever read on here."

"What a gem of a story. I read it in one sitting, the best canon rewrite I've ever read. Very very clever writing, engaging plot, and the most real Bella and Edward relationship I've ever seen. Everything about it, Bella and Jacob, Sam, Alice and Bella's dynamic, Billy and Bella, everything added so much colour to this story. I can't believe this came from Meyer's twilight and New Moon. Absolutely genius."

#thank you for asking :) #i really enjoy talking about this story because i'm so passionate about it! the fact that everyone is so intrigued is just really inspiring #i hope this doesnt come across as being cocky or bragging #i just really love this story and love that other people do too :) <3 #it just makes me sing im so grateful for everyone and for this experience #i love writing so much i could talk about it forever it's just the best thing on earth ahhhhhhh <333333333333 #it was especially nice to reread through comments people left me because i've been having a hard time & this was a great pick-me-up #please don't take this to mean you should reread twilight #for the love of god please don't reread twilight #you don't have to read this fic but please please please twilight will not be better on your next read-through TRUST ME

[thefrogdalorian]

Having of those moments where I wish to yeet the like button into the sun or maybe make it so there was setting you could turn on so that people can only reblog posts (even better with the minimum requirement of adding at least one tag)!!

It's kind of absurd that one of my fics is getting close to 500 notes while simultaneously being one I've had the least actual human interactions come from. Like...... come on, that's now how it should be AT ALL!

Don't get me wrong, I'm so thrilled people are clearly finding it and I guess enjoying it(??) but just having endless likes without people letting me know what they enjoyed about it or even if they liked it kind of makes me sad. That's not why I want to share my writing here!

I love having those little human connections with others. I don't ever want my writing to feel transactional. I would love to talk to more people about things I've written. It's truly one of the best feelings and I would hate to lose that, the more I write or the more notes my fics get. Please don't be shy!! I get the social anxiety, but there is no reason to be. I am truly just a Din Djarin obsessed loser.

Anyway, whine over. I don't want to focus on the negatives here and I appreciate every single person who has ever left a positive interaction with something I've written. You are truly a light!

#i don't JUST like posts too often #really the only posts i dont reblog but like are to save for later or if it's too personal/explicit #or i guess i have nothing to add and OP has said it all yknow #but if i see some writing or art i love then hell yeah i always force myself to add at least one tag i like just so the artist/author sees #otherwise it feels like a hollow transaction and i really want people to know i appreciate their art more than just pressing a button yknow #and I KNOW it's intimidating at first to interact with others!! TRUST ME i get it and i'm still awful at it #but just one little comment can make someone feel so good about their writing... why wouldn't someone want to try that at least #especially if you enjoyed it!!! even a key smash or a string of emojis!!! #and the death of the tumblr tag is SO SAD because where else am i meant to talk to you lot? #i mean these tags are longer than my actual post and that's the beauty of tumblr #you don't have to perceive me down here but you can if you wish and i love you for that! #and it's a nice way to organise your blog to make it navigable for others #ANYWAY said i was done whining and continued whining down here so there's that LOL but i always want to interact with more people #please do not be afraid of reaching out to me! scroll through my blog for 5 seconds and you'll see what a nerdy loser i am #akdjgds i mean aren't we all here #spud rants #writing #but thanks again to anyone who leaves nice comments im giving you a (consensual) forehead smooch MWAH

[urostakako]

it seems people are already upset that tsumiki is not nice anymore, sorry you dont know her like i do

#cmon. cmon. she has every right to be violent #idk if i trust gege to allow her to be angry (which she also has every right to be?? her life has constantly been people pushing her away #and forgetting about her and her constantly being nice) but if she was nice even now it would literally make zero sense #thats not character development. its not even giving her character. its just megumi's perspective being right that shes some kind of saint #which is sooooooo boring like why would she be nice. i think she should be tired of being nice. i think she should go apeshit. as a treat #and there was so much build up about the curse put on her. making it just some thing like oh shes a sorcerer but shes not gonna do anything #about it because shes so good IS SO BORING #and really it would be unrealistic if she didnt harbor at least some negative feelings i mean megumi was always kind of an asshole right up #until she got cursed and im assuming gojo didnt pay much attention to her as he did megumi. and her mom left her for some shitty dude #why would she not be mad?? just getting stuck being a little angel after all that just makes my skin crawl #and if megumi only really considered apologizing after she got cursed i doubt he really did a lot for her when she wasnt. #so i absolutely think she should be allowed to kill people it would be a disservice if she wasnt and was just again boiled down to the #saintly girl older sister image megumi seems to have of her. so boring #or maybe its just me being an angry sister who has to be nice. but i dont really think it is #tsumiki fushiguro #jjk 211 #jjk leaks #jjk spoilers #jjk #aricouldyounot #oh and before anyone misinterprets i know megumi had some psychology going on as a kid. doesnt mean tsumiki didnt either #or that she has to be so understanding all the time and not consider her own feelings. so boring. so shitty #it mightve sounded like a joking tone when i said she should go apeshit. but i was 100% serious #anyway yeah thats it

[hikiclawd]

uh i may take a small break from posting art sorry im not sure

#im like . stressed #i have motivation but ive kinda been realizing nobody rlly gaf #about my hyper specific headcanons and story that ive been crafting in my head #besides like a small specific group of ppl #which i really dont mind trust me its always nice to have some people than nobody at all interested in what i do #but it feels embarrassing to just . post stuff with no context #i need to get my mind right and get confidence to talk about it in depth hahgha #or actually drop a 50 page lore pdf like i joked about #ghost.txt

[sboochi]

scrolled through your art tag and like, no idea what you're talking about half the time, but i sure do like looking at it!

And once again, my job here is done for today

*takes off jester hat*

#honestly this is the best compliment you could tell me *tips hat* #it's always nice to hear that my ramblings entertaint people #trust me i have no idea what im talking about either #asks #ines-nz

[ghosts-of-love]

yo anyone wanna come to a national trust place with me today? 🍁🍂

#in spirit that is #idk ive been in this town for a year and i have work friends and i have the people i live with but i want to try to make more friends #that i can casually hang out with #i also feel like i should get better at doing stuff alone too without feeling bad that i didnt ask my friends/housemates to come #there's like two people who i can think to ask but they are both probably busy and also it would mean i have to commit to actually going #to this national trust place #which j found out is only a 15 minute drive #i should just go #sorry feeling weird about friendships #i think i tend to love a few people very deeply and so then im not good at having friends where j can be like hey wanna hit up this abbey #idk things are weird with my housemates at the moment #new person moved in . the other two are allegedly going to break up any second now but also keep banging loudly in the room next to mine #its weird and im kind of miserable in the house but happy in all other aspects of my life #like work is hesitantly going good im reading again im crocheting my hair looks nice #this turnef into a whole thing now sorry #props to you if you kept reading this long #anyway this is why i desperately want to get out of the house

[anaalnathrakhs]

uh oh i feel like i have a deeply maladaptative response to people knowing Literally Anything about me it's fine it's fine i'm handling it very well

#constantly daydreaming about throwing my phone in the river n leaving a nice note for my parents and fucking LEAVING #but like #if i just stop talking to my friends #then what's the point #do i make new friends? will i do the same shit to my new friends? #it feels like kind of a dick move to do that to people i like #and i DO like them #i like hanging out w them and just. i don't know. i feel like this freedom i dream of is something i could have in this life yknow. #i feel if i had balls i could just start living the life i want #it's not even like my parents are dicks or something they trust me and they've very understanding and loving #they wouldn't judge me for how i dress or be mad if i stay out late as long as i warn them #but i dont know. i dont know why i'm a massive fucking weirdo about it okay. #but i've caused them so much trouble already. i feel like i'm betraying them if i grow up. #i feel like i'm causing them too much worry no matter if i stray away from the nest or stay. #and i feel like a fucking monster for not loving them enough but i can't stand being near them anymore #it's too painful #i've never managed to completely hate them even when i was deep in depression and they handled it poorly #i'd get into a screaming match with my dad and an hour later we'd sing songs together in the car #but it's been so dull lately. it feels like im in a video game. picking prewritten dialogue and being fed prewritten answers. #and WHY does this happen. why can't i just have a normal relationship with people #why do i turn into an alien on his first day on earth whenever i start caring abt someone #why are we so fucking abnormal as a family that we never goddamn hang out #why am i such an empty husk of a person that i cannot for the life of me figure out something we could do together #i keep believing in this fantasm of one day changing everything in one fell swoop instead of growing up like a normal guy #because i know i'm a coward. i'm scared of other people seeing me fail. #i dont want to hurt my parents ever again and i dont want to settle for halfway freedom #so i repress hardcore things i want so that nobody not even me can decipher what it is #smth smth the enormity of my desire disgusts me #and of course it fails because im weakshit and cannot restrict anything ever #and i hurt them anyway

[shopcat]

i do honestly think that like. the reason steve's torture scene is so undercut is because it is a torture scene. like they didn't WANT it to be hit heavily they didn't want to have to cut between relatively normal for the show scenarios back to steve and robin locked in an unreachable facility getting beaten and drugged and about to get their fingernails ripped off with the knowledge that in the end unless they're saved they're going to die. Because that is deeply tragic. so they have to make the jokes and make it lighter than it seems not only because the plot needs it but like the AUDIENCE needs it and the CHARACTERS need it... like yes the show does not take so many character's real life suffering seriously because for some reason lasting effects and trauma only exist to be taken advantage of by the plot or if you're the billed star or something but steve also in canon is the one who didn't let himself BE A Guy Who Was Just Tortured. he was a guy who was just beat up a little. and like they're scared but they're not too scared because they have to have hope because they are two people who have never had to rely on hope before in order to survive...

but also!! tbh i can't. help but think how much of a critical hit gut wrench it would've been if they had decided to commit to the darker theme of it and how it juxtaposes against the whole Bright Neon Light Palm Fronds And 80s Pop and how 30 minutes later they're standing among a group of children and no one even realises anything is out of the ordinary i think it would've accessed an actual emotional impact and depth the duffers seem to stumble upon by accident and never of their own volition </3 to cut from the concurrently running scenes to an 18 year old boy we know is completely innocent and completely telling the truth that he was just in the wrong place and didn't realise how serious it all was who was getting tortured and it be something serious. and his 17 year old coworker who just had to listen to it all to the point where she thought they dragged his dead body in to lay next to her. and in a way it's somehow MORE tragic which was not their intention at all that it was so lightly handled even though we the audience know it's somethings deeply upsetting it all just gets washed away in the face of Life goes on even on tv... sigh.

#🍦 #anyway #also unrelated i saw a post abt like someone commenting on the entire insane patriotism and the red scare stuff and maybeppl just commented #at the time THEY DID trust me.... it is one of the biggest criticisms of the show itself and a lot of people actually hated s3 bc of it 😭 #well like. me too. not that i'd seen it at the time i just remember eveurhing being like . said #anyway the way this show handles trauma actually gives me a headache lol #bc it's purely on case by case and yeah i know they can't just handle everyone's particular traumas but ugh. well you know what im saying #i think if they acknowledged the things that happened to steve they would also have to acknowledge it was never intended to have gravity #it can't be abandonment if there was never intention it can't be something they missed bc they don't see the something #he will get beaten every single season (barring the first) with no repercussion bc his like #humanity is not a right he is just some guy. it would also lose all the comedy to it that was established for 4 seasons #like oh it's not funny anymore and he's not the fun guy anymore because it's sad and that's not FAIR i don't think #bc trauma doesn't change everything about you and shouldn't change people's perception of you that's . fucked #and i think it's wild a show that attempts multiple times to go OVER these traumas will only ever land it sloppily bc i don't believe #they're doing it well intentionedly LOL it's for plot which is well fine it's a narrative but it means when it #lacks it's upsetting instead of the writing just being bad too #anyway... tangent . that also applies to like nancy and jonathan and stuff too . lucas and erica in s5 i imagine as well #though i shouldn't predict failure bc that's not very nice. to the characters .I just hate those men so much tbh tbh #sts

[depresseddepot]

trying to determine which parts of my relationship with sex are asexuality, which are trauma, and which are autism is like trying to have a conversation with three people talking loudly and all at once

#just to be clear: asexuality as a result of trauma or neurodivergency is still asexuality. full stop no debate. #anyway because i love oversharing on tumblr dot com: feeling very sex repulsed on this day #i was joking with some guy about fighting each other (specifically said ''you ever fight a girl over 200 lbs? id break your ribs'') #and like three different people said something like ''well that would probably turn him on'' #and. listen. i get it. that was a joke response to my joke threat #but what i felt in that moment and still feel now requires nothing short of academic study to understand #first of all: how dare they make me feel embarrassed in a social setting when i was doing so well. #secondly: why the fuck would me making a threat make them instantly think of sex #thirdly: how fucked up is my body image that i hear that and immediately think they're all out of their minds #i like fat women. i am personally attracted to fat women. not (usually) sexually but i do think they are very nice to look at #so why is it so hard for me to accept that someone else could find me attractive as well ! #i think about being in a situation where a relationship and/or sex is a real possibility and i flinch like its going to hurt me #but why???? where is this aversion coming from !!!!! i am a hopeless romantic i daydream about romance all the time #so whats the deal here. is it subconscious bc of my asexuality and i associate romance with sex? #is it because of my autism where i associate romance with touch and am afraid i am too unempathetic to have a chance? #or (most likely) is it just because im so fucking scared of trusting someone that even the thought makes me nauseous #did this all crop up from a throwaway sex joke? yes #but people don't make sex jokes to me. people don't even pretend to allude to me being cute #this same group of people said a few weeks ago ''at least you're pretty'' #which. is not the case!!!!!!! people do not say those things to me because they don't want to even slightly entertain that idea !!!!!!! #and i am extremely tired of having my life upended because of this #i have always been treated like i was ugly and teased about it and i FINALLY have managed to be okay with not being attractive #and now that im okay with it: NOW is when the pretty jokes start. im fucking angry about it actually #i can't be both. i cannot think of myself in terms that abstract. i am one or the other #and this leads me to believe that people think i COULD be pretty. but the catalyst is that i am fat and therefore cannot be attractive #which just makes me more angry!!!!!!!!!!! #how can i be completely indifferent to sex and attraction without seeming juvenile. i don't care so so much #but every time that sort of thing happens i feel like im 13 again and the hot jock is talking to me #i need to be put down. something's wrong with this one (me) #i realize i can't stop people from making sex or appearance jokes but god i wish i fucking could

[erythristicbones]

i think making my own discord server for my original stories was one of the best decisions ive made in awhile tbh

#i just! i might feel like shit and have been in a lot more pain than ive wanted to admit lately #but having my own designated space for my original works and having ppl i know + trust chilling in there witnessing my rambling #its been like this little bit of sunshine in my day #especially knowing like. these ppl care about me enough that they like to see ME get excited over things #that they technically have no stake in whatsoever #its nice. it makes me happy. im so glad i did it #so also once again #friends/mutuals/ppl i can trust not to bring drama into my silly lil story server that arent in it currently....... #if you want the invite you can dm me or reply here!! #im being a lil selective with who i let in bc i have severe social anxiety n all but like #if you follow me/interact with me/are good friends w my good friends #then i defs wouldnt mind giving you the invite #i cannot handle internet drama and i have hyperempathy okay. im nice and glad to invite people #i just also need the assurance that this server i created for myself before anyone else will not become a strain on me ya dig?