#is this like balls to the wall insane

[let-it-rip-bear]

It's not that he never learns. It's the opposite, actually. He knows the trap is there and he chooses to step in it.

This post will be exploring the possible relationship that Carmy has with self-harm/self-harming behaviors. If this is a difficult topic, please take care of yourself and skip this post.

Let’s begin with Carmy’s negative self-image. It’s confirmed and stated pretty clearly in “Braciole” during Carmy’s monologue at Al-Anon:

I'm not built like that, man. I, um… I didn't have a lot of friends growing up. I had a- a stutter when I was a kid. I was scared to speak half the time. And, uh, I got shitty grades 'cause I couldn't pay attention in school. I didn't get into college. I didn't have any girlfriends. I don't think I'm funny.

This is basically the opposite of how he describes Mikey:

He was loud. And he was hilarious. And he had this amazing ability. He could just, he could walk into a room, and he could take the temperature of it instantly. You know, he could just, he could dial it.

Where Mikey was loud, Carmy was quiet; Mikey was funny, Carmy thinks he isn’t. Clearly, Carmy doesn’t have a high opinion of himself. The only thing he feels is a redeeming quality is his skill as a chef. This can be seen in his monologue:

[…] for the first time in my life I-I started to find this, uh, this station for myself. And I was fast. I wasn't afraid. And it was clear, and I-I felt… I felt okay, you know. […] I felt like I could speak through the food, like I could communicate through creativity. And that kind of confidence, you know, like I was finally… I wa… I was good at something, that was so new, and that was so exciting.

The wording gives away a lot. Carmy specifically says that he's finally good at something and that it's so new to him. It shows that he felt like he wasn’t good at anything before he developed his skill as a chef. Being a world-class chef is perhaps the only solid part of his self-identity. It’s the one thing that allows him to feel validation. It's the only part of him that he feels is valuable.

People with a highly negative self-image are found to be willing or able to endure pain for longer amounts of time than people with a positive self-image. A study published in 2015 found that the participants that endured pain longer were also the ones who more often "spontaneously described themselves as being 'bad', 'defective' or 'deserving of punishment'". It seems pretty clear that Carmy would fall under that category as well.

I believe that Carmy stayed in the NYC job with the abusive chef because it felt so similar to when he lived at home and was around his mother. I think that Carmy purposefully puts himself in those situations as a form of self-injury, which is his subconscious coping mechanism.

Now, in my headcanon, Mrs. Berzatto is verbally abusive to Carmy. I don’t have a lot to go off of her being specifically abusive, but there are multiple times throughout the show that lead me to that end. The most obvious being in “Sheridan” when he’s talking to Tina and asks if his mother went “full psycho”, to which she responds “She wasn’t calm, but the food was great.” Throughout the show, Carmy also occasionally compares Sugar’s behavior to their mother in a negative context. It’s all pulled together by the moment in “System” when Sugar asks if Carmy has spoken to their mother and he says he hasn’t. It seems like he wants to say something else and that Sugar is waiting for his justification, but the topic drops off quickly. Altogether it gives me the impression that Mrs. Berzatto is a highly emotional person who might experience mood swings or otherwise very volatile states.

I see Carmy as someone with undiagnosed ADHD. The symptoms seen in the show include emotional dysregulation, attention deficit, and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). RSD causes people to be more sensitive to perceived rejection and criticism. Mrs. Berzatto likely criticized Carmy a lot when he was younger or at the very least compared him to Mikey and Sugar a lot, resulting in Carmy’s view of himself as inferior and opposite to Mikey. One factor that is theorized to worsen a child’s stutter, or verbal fluency disorder, is a parent’s negative reaction to the stutter. It’s not considered a cause or major factor, but is considered to have some effect on the child’s fluency. Carmy would then become afraid to speak because he was afraid of making his mother angry. There's also Mikey's decision to not let Carmy work or even enter the restaurant, which I believe affected Carmy far more than Mikey had intended due to RSD.

I believe that Mrs. Berzatto's negative influence on Carmy would contribute to him being “scared to speak half the time” and possibly kickstarted his negative self-image. I think that Carmy didn’t come home directly after Mikey’s death and hasn’t spoken to his mother because he’s afraid to face her.

So, why would he want to recreate that environment? Part of it is because he believes he deserves it. It’s a form of punishment or even discipline. Now, why would Carmy seek out punishment? I think Carmy has engaged in self-harm (known clinically as non-suicidal self-injury or NSSI) for most of his life, though most of it is indirect. Through conditioning, self-injury can become a form of pain relief for people with very low self-esteem. This is known as "pain offset relief conditioning". From the same study I cited before:

People who self-injure may unwittingly be tapping into this mechanism...The first time they hurt themselves, they experience unpleasant pain. But when they keep doing it and experience pain relief, they begin to associate...other forms of self-injury with relief, and they return for more. [...] 'The natural and adaptive response is to say, ‘I'm done with this.' But people who engage in self-injury don't necessarily see pain as something to escape from,' Hooley explains. Instead, experiencing pain validates their sense of being a bad or damaged person.

This, to me, explains why Carmy continuously puts himself in environments that actively harm his mental health. This includes NYC and The Beef. For both places, outside perspectives have described the conditions as something negative (Sugar in regards to NYC and Cicero in regards to The Beef) and both times, Carmy admits that he still "enjoyed" it, in a way. Vomiting from stress and anxiety every day before work was a form of self-injury to him, but Carmy felt that he deserved it, and whenever it happened he would get a rush of relief due to offset relief conditioning.

Another side to this coping mechanism is that Carmy subconsciously wants to put himself in that situation so that he can prove to (the proxy of) his mother that he isn’t worthless, that he can pay attention, that he’s capable of speaking clearly, and that he can and will be successful. At the same time, the dynamic is simply too familiar to him—Carmy learned how to avoid his mother’s wrath and fitting himself into a similar situation brings a form of comfort. He knows how to stay out of trouble, so to speak. To quote his monologue yet again, he "wasn't afraid...and it was clear". He knows how to handle people like NYChef (people like his mother) and it's comforting to have that knowledge instead of being uncertain. It's a form of safety for him.

That's also why Carmy is very good at taking a verbal lashing with little to no complaint. He learned that just letting it happen was the way to get through the bad stuff at home. In the opening scene of “Hands”, he’s being intensely berated by NYChef and takes it in stride. Even when the chef says “you should be dead”, his face doesn’t change and he continues working just as before. Similarly, in “Dogs” when Richie and Uncle Jimmy are screaming at each other, he’s completely zoned out. His eyes are distant and he’s seemingly removing himself from the situation. I think he learned that at home.

This is the headcanon that I'm working with to explain Carmy's awful self-worth issues, strained relationship with his mother, and paradoxical enjoyment of harmful environments such as NYC. It acknowledges Carmy's possible ADHD as well as his childhood stutter.

I hope this was coherent! It was somewhat difficult to untangle the connections that I didn't fully realize I had made and lay it all out in a way that isn't just word vomit. Please feel free to ask to tag relevant triggers.

Here's the 2015 study on NSSI: "A New Look At Self-Injury"

#the bear #the bear hulu #the bear fx #tw abuse mention #tw sh #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #mrs berzatto #the bear meta #meta #the bear headcanons #i proofread this like. once. and my eyes are going crosseyed so #sry if there are mistakes i am doing my best #jj.post #do i seem insane?? #is this like balls to the wall insane

[myhyperfixationisiforgot]

Look it is very important to me that everyone knows that Sophie is also fucking nuts in the book. Everybody always talks about how absurd Howl in the book but Sophie is right there with him.

She's so determined to be the normal sister that she's just actually convinced herself that the magic she is clearly, visibly, blatantly performing happens to everyone. Just. You know. Not anyone around her. The curse wore off weeks ago and she's just totally sure she's happier as an old woman. Her sisters have initiated some complex long-game tomfoolery to switch lives and Sophie also thinks that this is the most logical choice.

Sophie does not move in with a romantic mythic man who treats her right, she moves in with a runaway doctoral candidate who immediately dates her sister and drags her into his family drama. She and Howl are both so afraid of romantic commitment they accidentally trick themselves into becoming life partners. They kill the witch of the waste mostly on a whim, and they argue about which one of them is more impulsive for doing so the whole time.

#please understand that Miyazaki tones them both down so far they're actually a love story #they seem like sane people rather than college students #but yeah sophie and howl are both balls to the wall in the book. they're insane. they're losing their shit. all the time. everyday #howls moving castle #howl pendragon #sophie hatter

[witherbythesword]

if the theory of sam reich being replaced by .. evil wizard dalton reich (and i cant believe i am partaking in this discurse) is true..

i've seen some people asking the question about what those childhood tapes mean. Well i am one of the ancient ones that owned vhs tapes and you know you could replace whats stored on those tapes with overwriting it with new material but it would slowly degrade the quality as the magnetic tape the information is stored on isn't necessarly made to be re-recorded on indefinetly which would also explain the degrading quality of the gamechanger episode.

So my theory is that dalton reich wants to erase sam from history and to do this he is slowly erasing any proof that could hint on sam and dalton being two different people. One thing he appearantly needed to do is overwrite these old vhs tapes of sams childhood.

#game changer #dropout tv #Sam Reich #having worked in an archive i think depending on quality of the tape and what generation it is #you can record and re-record on it 5-10 times #which would fit the loops on the episode kinda #listen i wanted to be cool but i love time loops OKAY #I am actually in disbelieve that no one tackled sam to the ground #like brennan did during the dance thing in the “second place” episode #and screamed “DANCING IS A SIN” #to keep Sam from kicking the god damn camera #i also feel like i've been hexed with the wenis curse #you see all those text about it and think.. well... how bad can it be? truely? #and the answer is simple #EVERYBODY DO THE WENIS #THE WENIS IS A DANCE #EVERBYODY IS A GENIUS #WHO KNOWS IS IN ADV (gunshoots.. sirens blaring in the background.. and a wet thud sounds right next to you) #also.. not to be like alu head levels of conspiracy but by now the nimber of accounts #saying the dropout cast should be hunting down sam as the final game changer episode of the season #is suspicious to me #like... if that turn out to be a fixitman situation of people being IN on something #am just going full balls to the wall riz gukgak tatooing night yorb on his chest levels of insane by now 👍 #also the sfx needed thing #reminds me about how jacob always does his own buzzer sound #because clearly the normal buzzer sound was always there #also.. the red shining buzzer reflecting in the prompt screen..that wasn't always that way right?

[thwackk]

here is my spiderverse oc (ft. a few other important characters) uhmmmm yeah.

the cat is Batman btw

#i wanted to do a somewhat proper post abt him #this guy has rhe most insane fucked up lore ever i went ham on him like full balls on the walls crazy with it #and the only reason why was because it’s spiderman and spiderman always has crazy ass bullshit goin on #so i just let my mind do whatever it wanted #i dont wanna explain it all but if anyone asked me abt certain things then i’d be more than happy to blabber abt it #the lizard man is named Leon and he does not belong to me #that is eret’s guy #my bestie eret my husband the love of my life the person i would punch in the face with hesitation #i cannot draw guy without leon there it just doesnt work #these are so fucking old i think it’s time for a redesign mayb #guy parker #spiderman #spiderverse #spiderverse oc #mav’s kids #my art lol

[theloveinc]

Asking you to talk more on sukuna nd feet 😛😛

of COURSE !!!

I'm just still stuck on thinking about Sukuna being HELLA ancient and that really only coming through his ... sexual preferences, and by extension... his preferences for the body, right? Which ik we're thinking is his liking for the body as it comes naturally, naked and untouched and etc...

SO, it makes perfect sense that he loves a nicely done-up foot because ... even if you're wearing clothes, a healthy looking, decorated foot is one way to show off the quality of your body without sacrificing much of your integrity, or the appearance of that specific body part... for EXAMPLE:

You can be wearing whatever kind of clothing you want, but with a beautiful mani-pedi and nice shoes, people look at you and KNOW you take care of your skin !!!

And for Sukuna, that's literally... nut-worthy automatically. That his woman is so cared for she, not only has hands, but FEET too, that instead of showing the affects of hard work on them... are pampered beyond belief and always look delicious.

Even if you do use your hands for work, or have hands that show that kind of hard work on them, the second Sukuna attaches himself to you, that's one of the first things he demands you fix (by paying for your spa appointments, of course)... and ain't no way in hell he's taking no for an answer.

(I don't even think it's something he cares about until he realizes he can care about it. He's just chilling, living his best, king-of-curses life... and then one day he notices you putting lotion on your heels before bed and the next time your legs are in the air, he's pressing your feet to his face. Or you put on an anklet just for the day and he doesn't let you take it off ever again, ONLY ever change it so he can hear the sound of it jingle when he's fucking you better. Or you come home with white toenails after a pedicure with your friends and suddenly he's kissing your toes before he eats you out every. single. time. No brain ONLY boner from there on out.)

When he finally gets into the groove, tho (or in an automatic, non-curse AU), Sukuna is definitely picky about what kinds of designs and colors you get during mani-pedis. It's so weird of him because he's a full on evil CURSE, but I know he's walking into that salon right along with you and not just watching your toes get scrubbed and painting, but helping you pick out the colors and diamonds too....

He scrutinizes your poor nail tech sooo hard, one of those guys who takes off from the tip immediately if they accidentally nick you with the clippers, or file something a little too roughly. His inspection face is so funny, because even though he's supposed to be there spending time with YOU, his eyes are on your tootsies the whole time (like a freak).

You can convince him to let you get fun colors (and tbh, you ARE the one who put him onto including crystals or doing frenchies in the first place), but I know he's a such a particular man when it comes to making sure your nail colors are ALWAYS elegant. Loves a classic nude or pink, sometimes lets you experiments with white or a couple crystals... but the whole point is that he never has to see your feet covered again, only ever decorated and in strappy-heels for the rest of TIME.

(And don't even get me started on how much he gets off on watching you do your skincare, too. Anything to do with taking care of your body he loves, adores, is obsessed with; you doing your hair. Putting on your lotion or oils. Washing yourself, your leg up on the side of the bathtub.

Plus, he never wants to see you in makeup or shaving or anything of the sort. He only wants you bare and raw the way you were made... and yes that means he will buy you ¥50000 korean skincare essence but refuse to buy you foundation from the convenience store.)

THANK U FOR ASKING, ANON, LOVE U!

#sukuna #he drives me INSANEEEEE #his preferences are balls to the wall insane i love it about him tho #was just gonna say that i got all into thinking abt this bc i was looking at clothes from the heian period (1000 years ago japan... #like when he was born) #and like. feet were some of the only body parts openly displayed and not under layers #so i think thats where the foot thing comes from at the berry least #god if he could have it his way the only thing you'd be wearing is body chains and vaseline LOL bootie out 24/7 #i'd be fully down tho #anon #caitie things #gen

[teatitty]

Really cute that in the My Hero Justice 2 game, if you pair up Mic and Aizawa they're equally excited at being a duo and ask if they can have an office cat. Goofballs

#bnha #erasermic #the banter they have when fighting one another is also Hysterical #it's just mic going balls to the walls crazy and aizawa being like 'can you calm down for 2 minutes I'm getting a headache' #also mic calls him 'baby' which I don't think he does for anyone else #insane married behaviour here

[captainkirkk]

Disliking Yoo Joonghyuk at the start is common dw bro

I think he's an interesting character but I dislike him. From this wording, I'm hoping he gets less uhhh intense as the series goes on

#is this going to be like luo binghe #with og bingge being balls to the walls insane #and OUR binghe being a (also unhinged) baby girl #ask #anon #orv liveblogging

[sparatus]

me like a few days ago "oh boy this year im gonna write winter of our discontent it's gonna be a sparkyteia year"

and now no it's back to your regularly scheduled insane abt desolas and abrudas again. they hate each other they love each other they'd kill for each other they'd die without each other i am so incredibly fucking normal about these shitty asshole antagonists from a comic nobody read but me

#councilor's notes #VALIS HAS NO CANON FIRST NAME ONLY 5 PAGES OF SCREENTIME AND ISNT EVEN DONE THE DIGNITY OF A CONFIRMED DEATH #and yet because i went balls to the walls batshit fucking insane abt her and des for like 5 years now i made a cult abt her #and everyone just accepts my version of her as the one true interpretation #and desabrudas as also Correct. I BASED IT OFF ONE LINE AND I WAS MOSTLY JOKING #never ship something as a joke it's the gateway to shipping it for real and it consuming your brain

[thefaearealwaysamongyou]

I mean shit, you ever accidentally hyperfixate on a character after seeing a tiktok using their image to be misogynistic and then look them up only to find out what a pathetic little wet kitten bitch boy whump they are, and crave any and all content containing him while not having played the game he's from?

#salvatore moreau #resident evil #resident evil 8 #re8 #re8 village #adhd #I'm fucking balls to the wall insane for him #I showed him to my friend and they were like “ANOTHER FUCKING ORC???” #and I had to explain to them that NO he's not a fucking orc. big difference Ez.

[stormyoceans]

SKYJAO AND VEGASPETE ARE ACTUALLY THE OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE SAME SPECTRUM AND IM CRYING LAUGHING ABOUT IT SFJKDHFKGSJDH

#DON'T MIND ME I'VE JUST REALIZED THE PARALLELS AND IM LAUGHING BY MYSELF LIKE A LUNATIC IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OFFICE DURING LUNCH BREAK #IM SORRY THIS IS JUST SO FUNNY TTO ME #things skyjao and vegaspete actually have in common: #1) one character calling the other 'nosy' #2) throat grabs #3) holding the condom in their mouths #4) characters who just need to be loved and wanted but think aren't good enough #5) food (sky actually says 'if it's tasty come eat often' and that's literally something vegas could say) #6) making me go balls so the wall insane #skyjao #vegaspete #m: txt

[orbdotexe]

okay yknow what. the TFE playlist as of today. it is all over the place. i am cringe but i am free and also you should read the tags:

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead - Set It Off Ninth Life - Ivycomb Music Used To The Darkness - Des Rocs (yeah. from the trailer. shh) Heart - Fishymom Everybody Gets High - MISSIO You Can Run - Adam Jones Bury Me Low - 8 Graves Forrest Fire - AJJ All the Dead Kids - AJJ C'est La Vie - Weathers Don't Look Back/Don't Wait For Me - trashyinferno Farewell Wanderlust - The Amazing Devil Canary In a Coal Mine - The Crane Wives (PLEASE) Monster - dodie We Don't Talk About Bruno - lydia the bard Soleil - Lizz Robinett (not the original i just like her cover of it) Phantom Feelings - CJack (Wolf n Zavala. kill me) Cut My Fingers Off - Ethan Bortnick Engravings - Ethan Bortnick Between the Rains and the Times - Reverse: 1999 Gladiator - Jann You Only Know - Phemiec The Bidding - Chonny Jash (original by Tally Hall but CJ turns it into an entirely new piece of art. oh my god) OVER & OVER - Rio Romeo A Crow's Trial - Vane Castaway - Kroh Be Nice To Me - The Front Bottoms you smell of dead flowers - Cliesel version Rain In Soho - Mountain Goats Overgrown Garden - beetlebug

#i would like. link it or smth #but im insane and its on youtube specifically. #i can use ''i dont think some of these are on anything else'' and while true. i also wouldnt use anything else anyway #bc i. dont like the format of anything else. last time i tried to use spotify i wanted to punch a wall #orb rambles #the forsaken exile #no i dont care some of these are fandom-specific #the dsmp is like mlp to me. idc about the material but wow. the fandom songs are so good?? #you people are so insane about the story and it SHOWS and i love that. the passion that goes into these animations and songs is so clear #and makes them so so good. #the dozen extensions of Woe to the People of Order??? WOW okay. #and theyre all so good... and get better with each addon... #rn my favorite is Knight of Endale's version #anyway its 12am and i shouldnt be awake rn. if it wasnt this late i probably wouldnt have the confidence to post this #or say all of these things in the tags #sleep deprivation is fighting off the anxiety <3 #OHHH wait. okay so something funny #Woe to the People of Order was actually like apart of my first ever mention of an exile timeline #in my notes for destiny ocs/stories #it was a concept for Ruin/an early version of them. and there that song was. an inspiration for all of this #I AM STUCK IN A LOOP #it was there alongside like. Your Sister Was Right (wilbur soot) and Dear Fellow Traveler (sea wolf) #actually insane ive been stewing in this concept since. #oh god #in 7 days. it will have been 2 years. #OHHHH GOD EXILE BIRTHDAY ON THE 27TH #DERANGED DERANGED DERANGED #posting this now before i lose consciousness. oughhhh #me rn: FUCK IT WE BALL

[lesbiansanemi]

Bad day. Horrible awful terrible bad day

#there’s not even a reason. nothing bad has actually happened #it just FUCKING SUCKS #I want to walk into a lake and never come back #I want to take my brain out of my skull and throw it at a wall and watch it splatter #I know today sucks because I’m so tense and upset that my back HURTS so fucking bad #cuz when this happens I tense up and my back muscles decide to coil around my spine and squeeze like a starving snake #it’s spreading through my shoulders and even to my chest which is a first #I just 😭😭😭 I want to go home except home also sucks cuz roommate #and I know he’ll be out in a few days but that feels like forever #and I’m so tired and I’m so upset and I want to curl up in a ball and cry and hide from the world #but I’m working a 7 day stretch at my job #and I have to transfer the power and internet to my name sometime before Wednesday #and I’m so sick of takeout the idea of eating it makes me want to vomit but I can’t physically bring myself to cook while they’re there #and I just. ugh. UGH #I’m so sick of existing #why does my life only allow me small handfuls of months at a time #where I’m not living in some form of disaster and stressed to all hell and back and just wanting to lay down and die #what did I do so wrong. what have I done to deserve all this shit #in my short terrible miserable fucking life #whatever I’ll just go home and stare at the wall #and then go to bed and come to work and come to work and come to work there’s always going to work #I’m going to fucking scream I hate my brain #why can’t it just regulate itself in a normal way cuz that’s the thing I know I’m being insane and nothing is actually this bad #but man if it doesn’t fucking feel that way #and being aware I’m being batshit really doesn’t make it better actually I think it makes it worse #kaz rambles

[fuckmeyer]

if a vegetarian vampire drinks human blood, do their powers become stronger? (since generally vampires are stronger when they drink human blood?)

I’m thinking of this in the context of jasper’s curse, that he claims the emotions of his “prey”/victims make feeding unpleasant, but wouldn’t eating people enhance his ability, increasing his suffering? like a fucked up little positive feedback loop

yes! Edward mentions it in Chapter 14 of Eclipse:

"Human blood makes us the strongest, though only fractionally. [...] That's why [newborn vampires] are so strong, of course. The newborns are full of human blood - their own blood, reacting to the change. It lingers in the tissues and strengthens them."

human blood increases the intensity of Jasper's gift/curse, perhaps a detectable amount but not a crippling amount. i'm sure the loss of self-control/discipline/mental acuity that veggie vamps seem to have would also adversely affect Jasper's ability to control his gift.

stupid idiot boyloser in his fucked up little feedback loop :) get fucked

#asks #jasper hale #tts #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #when i think about Jasper drinking human blood and how it causes him to lose control of his gift #i am thinking about the way in which he can manipulate others #kinda like how i bet the hulk is super strong but like can't hold an egg without beaking it #i bet jasper can make someone really balls-to-the-wall angry but is less able to do it in a subtle way. he loses a bit of finesse #ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT BITCHASS SMEYER SAYING HUMAN BLOOD MAKES THEM 'FRACTIONALLY' STRONGER????? #NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #veggie vamps should be WEAK AS SHIT and human-drinking vamps should be BALLS TO THE WALL INSANE #they should be the fucked-up levels of strong we see the cullens have canonically BUT the absolute rank insanity due to #bloodlust fucking up their head #PLEASE smeyer i am BEGGING YOU to give the lore and characters and plot ACTUAL CONSEQUENCES #FUCK ME PUT A LITTLE WEIGHT ON THOSE CHOICES. PUT A LITTLE MEAT ON THAT STORY #FOR GOD'S SAKE I CAN'T TAKE THIS FUCKING-

[werejelly]

I was talking about this with a friend but there's like. Different types of vampires - Theres classic horrific ones, usually having more bat traits and are monster-y - Theres the classic movie ones with the capes, pale skin, elf-like, still pretty undead with claws and shit and kinda monstery - And then theres modern vampires that are just kinda. Humans with two long canine fangs. I feel like they were selectively bred to have all their monster traits removed, kinda like people with pugs. These are also the most common in modern day.

#wobble noises #ive seen upticks where people think vampires are like the sexiest monster but almost always mean like #human with fangs type #Which like. Ok they have issues and interesting complexes and I can understand that #but if you wanna claim to be a monsterfucker why are going going for the most tame human-like version #im not just talking about astarion btw hes just the most recent example #edward cullens is another example #ACTUALLY IM BLAMING THAT MAN FOR EVERYTHING #THE UPTICK IN VAMPIRE ROMANCE NOVELS AFTER HIM WAS INSANE #but they were ALL just humans with a dark secret #and not like. some bat monster thing disguised as a human #this was also brought by #I watched van helsing with the bestie the other day #and like. They have monster forms #I was throwing my balls off all the fucking walls and howling like a dog because they were SO cool #but also so much sexier than their human forms and i was like oh i get why people like vampires now #but nooo actually people dont care for creature monster things they want an unfortante man #And I was also why people werent making FUCKED UP vampires anymore #I THINK THEY SHOULD #make some fucking #shape of water fucking thing with a fucking pale beastly bat leech #now THATS some good shit!!! #this also just be that I find werewolves ALWAYS more hotter and monster-like than vampires any day #thats my vampire opinion i guess #probably constroversal

[hotniatheron]

toby stephens you are the al pacino of captain flint. no one on earth could ever play him like you have played him. your acting nepotisimo genetics and your rigorous and FRUITful education upon the stage imbued with the spirit of one thousand divas before you has ensured this.

#like flint is balls to the walls absolutely bugfuck insane. like he is a crazy person well beyond the veil #AND YET! #so effortlessly compelling to us as an audience. someone so loathed by his environment but loved by us. THIS DIVA

[delimeful]

Remus “baby vampire calling” at Virgil = someone “pspspsing” at a cat

you're right and you should say it

#most baby vampires would mistrust his pspsps because he's clearly balls to the walls insane #luckily virgil has not been socialized properly so he won't pick up on this fact until it's too late #remus 'i would like to throw the baby' sanders is going to shotput him into the sky like a team rocket member #found family <3 #anyways sorry for not answering this for *checks watch* like 2 months #i would explain but i actually am just bad at *checks writing on hand* any and all time management. sory. #asks #dillydallydove #ttybh #vampire au #queue