#it is a vicious feelings cycle

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I know WWX has a traumatic past with dogs, but sometimes you see that the dogs just want his attention, and a part of me is unsure who to feel sorry for more. Who's more pitiable, the dejected dog, or WWX who jumps into LWJ's arms?

Ran the numbers, and it turns out they are both equally pathetic.

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #ask #I could keep the list going for ages. #Digs around in the dirt #will claw at the door if a loved one is behind it and you can't see them anymore #gets to zoomies and needs to run around for a bit #Women want to approach you if you are accompanied by this beast #and so on and so on #If your man is sitting outside your door growling at strangers who get to close while you sleep #if he's tracking mud into the house and your bed #if his nose is always kind of wet #that's either a dog or wwx. think about how you would feel if a cute stray dog waddled into your house and repeat with wwx #the feeling is comparable. for me at least #A dog wants pets and a wwx wants to not pet the dog. its a vicious cycle. both suffer and no one wins.

[harringroveera]

And his boyfriend who’s trapped in the Upside Down is coming to find him

#harringrove #billy rescuing steve in s4 when— #billy hargrove #steve harrington #billy x steve #billy hargrove x steve harrington #incorrect harringrove quotes #harringroveera #every time i post i feel like it’s been made it’s a vicious cycle 😭 #harringrove textpost #steve x billy #incorrect billy hargrove quotes #incorrect steve harrington #harringrove meme #harringrove edit #steve harrington x billy hargrove #steve harrington meme #billy hargrove meme

[jatersade]

the rozin timeline (lowkey a prequel to this)

bonus:

#atla #roku #sozin #rozin #ROZIN NATION RISE AGAIN #and by rozin nation i ofc mean literally just me. lmao #i also want to make it clear that this is NOT a zuko/aang post #i just have a lot of feelings about parallels and the ending of vicious cycles. you understand #posts by sj

[pallanophblargh]

You know what the worst feeling I've been having lately is? Wanting more than anything to get back into Actual Art again but finding a sudden anxiety that stops me. Even if I'm still as capable as I was, it's the mental block. It's why I've all but kept commissions closed for this whole time: this overwhelming fear of letting people down. Especially in times as troubled as these, where money is tight, and patience is thin. I've always been blessed with such patient and considerate commissioners, but I would hate to test people because of my malfunctioning brat of a brain.

I just wish it came to me as easily as it did before the massive burnout/medication. But it's up to me to come up with my own motivation. And it's ME.

Anyway. Thanks as always for sticking around despite... all of this. I'll get back on the horse soon.

#text post #april rambles #it's stupid because I WANT to do it #but even wanting to do things doesn't trick my jerkass brain #the meds helped some things and fucked other things #I'm still trying to reshape my relationship with watercolor #I haven't touched it enough and yet I'm trying to learn more #which sounds dumb #but so is anxiety am i right? #so i've been poking linocut because i don't feel bad being awful or unskilled at it or whatever #it's no pressure #and I'm disproportionately afraid of pressure now #which is something the medication can't fix #now if only I could purchase motivation and courage #I'm just so worried I'll disappoint people forever #you know how vicious cycles are #anyway i'm gonna get things done one way or another

[theshadowrealmitself]

I can’t articulate it, but it gets to me that, outside of Spock and I think Tuvok, being logical and regulating emotions isn’t something that Vulcans are shown to just endure, the same way they endure lower temperatures for other species, or higher oxygen for other species, or anything else that has to be incredibly uncomfortable at best to painful at worst that they just endure

The vibe I get from it is that a majority of Vulcans enjoy it, they like being logical, maybe they didn’t get a choice in being logical as kids, but unlike the select few like Sybok, they don’t seem to be resentful that they were raised like that at all

This isn’t just something they’re all forced to do now to prevent their emotions from causing their species’ end, dedicating themselves to logic brought them inner peace

#Star Trek #Vulcans #can’t articulate it especially while really tired and lying in bed #but hopefully y’all still get what I’m trying to say #I say I think for Tuvok because I know he struggles with violent thoughts #but I don’t think it has the same vibes as Spock struggling with his human half to fully accept Vulcan’s ways #even though it seems like fully dedicating himself like that brings more harm to his human half #which causes it to be more prominent like a vicious cycle #fuck definitely can’t articulate rn #also maybe for Tuvok Vulcan’s ways are actually even more appreciated #because they’re exactly there to help Vulcans regulate intense emotions #also I think this is part of why it seems more like Spock struggles compared to other Vulcans #for other Vulcans logic and regulating all emotions is seen as a way for them to be content #to be able to live their lives peacefully and to its best extent (peace and long life) #in a way that embracing emotions wouldn’t because they’re intense emotions would destroy themselves #but for Spock logic and regulating emotions is more about trying to reach impossible standards and get acceptance from everyone else #abd things like that again very tired can’t articulate #also adding to my hc that while Vulcans regulate their emotions and come to logical terms on why they feel like they do #and peacefully handle it #Spock believes that they’re all suppressing so that’s what he’s actually doing #just suppress suppress suppress everything which isn’t healthy #just my personal thoughts

[paging-possum]

was going to start writing an essay about the possible overlap between christianity and OCD and then I remembered im on Tumblr dot com and also a fucking idiot when it comes to putting things into words

#idk man I just think about it sometimes #because I feel like one of the biggest steps in the direction of ocd treatment/management/recovery is to acknowledge that it exists #and recognize your obsessions and compulsions are becoming detrimental #and it becomes so much more difficult to do that when the obsessions are around gods perception of you/your own moral standing #because it just feels like a normal religious thing to be thinking about and worried about #and compulsions like repeated prayer just feel like something you're supposed to do #so even the thought that they could be bad feels blasphemous and it becomes a vicious cycle of ocd and IDK!!! IDK!!!!! #I still feel very weird talking about it with other people but its something I think about a lot because the worst part of it is that #no matter how bad it is breaking the cycle is maybe the most terrifying part of it and on top of that if religion is a big part of your lif #then it can be harder to find support for it as well because everyone around you doesn't see it as a problem either #idk im just rambling a little bit. anyways. hi guys religious ocd is a major bitch I kinda want to write something about it

[theartoffkn]

Selfcare Sunday anyone?

#me #on sundays we cry and then take baths to feel better #and then we cry in the bath #and then we cry about how tiny bathtubs are #it’s a vicious cycle #basically #Sunday blues and depression are gonna kill me someday #ahem anyway #thick thighs save lives #and all that shit #y’all better appreciate the kitty before it gets gone #thicc af #thick girls #thick Thursday on a Sunday

[fatherfigureneeded]

does anyone else listen to PTV's Hold On Till May and think of Sirius and Regulus??

it also reminds me of james and sirius kind of but it still (to me) feels very much like an angsty promise to regulus to help him get out of the house and then regulus fucking dies

#harry potter #regulus black #sirius and regulus #sirius black #james potter #mentioned #catatonic with upsetting feelings every time i think of them #or hear a song that mentions... things #which makes me think of them #it's a vicious cycle

[muzzleroars]

Whats ur interpretation of heaven and its people in ULTRAKILL?

oooooo interesting question!! this is definitely gonna be long-winded even by my standards bc i'm about to speculate on a LOT so let's talk about it!!!

ok so there's a couple things that we seem to have laid out in the lore to start with, and that's largely the division that exists between true angels and their previously human counterparts. true angels look down on those derived from humans, seeming disinterested in god's experimentation and almost wanting to segregate themselves from them, while the human-based angels seem to revere true angels and follow the orders they give to them. the only rankings known to exist in ultrakill at this time (act ii) are archangels and virtues - theologically speaking, archangels exist as the second to lowest choir while virtues rank right in the middle BUT that's clearly not the case here as virtues come from human souls and gabriel clearly has the power to direct them. this could be for a couple reasons: ultrakill may follow the precedent set by paradise lost, which places archangels at the top of the angelic hierarchy, or "archangel" is a title conferred to gabriel, but not his actual "species". this comes from the idea of some texts that the four archangels are not true archangels but are in fact of a much higher rank, such as cherubim, that are denoted with the title to reference their leadership role amongst the angels. this is the idea i tend to favor in this case, as i don't believe gabriel is at the top of the hierarchy given his loyalty to the council, but i also believe he must be quite high up due to his power and respect.

i will say i don't think my interpretation is anything too different from anyone else's or many other pieces of media that examine heaven as less than perfect, but i believe these hierarchies are IMMENSELY important. the reason gabriel carries out his orders so diligently despite obviously being much more powerful and beloved than the councilors is simply because at least some of them rank over him - he is a being made to serve and if they are those that speak in god's place, he will do as they say just the same. the council, for their part, i think both used his strength and good will to bolster their decisions while frankly just. kind of hating him for the massive respect he garnered from the citizens in heaven. i tend to think this popularity stems from the fact that he interacted often with humans - he is always the messenger angel sent to earth and in some way, he's built a rapport with humanity. it goes both ways too, in that gabriel doesn't believe in segregation the way other true angels do and often interacts with human souls in heaven (i, like everyone else, believes he is particularly kind with children and he enjoys spending time with them when he has a chance to rest...i like them all looking like little lambs ;o;) this extends even further into his borderline heretical treatment of the sinners in hell - he's not nearly so harsh in his heart of hearts on their wrongs when they are remorseful or when their crimes truly weren't so terrible. but this is the inherent part of gabriel's tragedy - his sympathy and softness towards them is always overridden by his orders, and so this is why i believe even though he was always capable of overthrowing the council, he never did. orders are absolute to him, and his personal feelings never factor into the violence he carries out.

all of this culminates in how he is treated by the council - his power and popularity do a lot to further their ends, how efficiently he builds their empire on his back and how much the citizenry happily support anything gabriel does, but it's likely that they were looking for a way to get rid of him by the time the game happens. he is too powerful, he is too sympathetic to humanity, and i believe it was widely rumored in those higher circles that gabriel had unnatural tendencies toward the damned, though the proof may not have existed. they really honestly all believe that his role of messenger led him to be too close, too involved with the humans they so look down on.

i know i'm not the first person to suggest the idea (and here's where things get REALLY speculative hhh), but i too think the council was ready to dispose of gabriel now that their rule in heaven was absolute. i think it began with making him the judge of hell at a time when hell was becoming entirely unmanageable - not only does the council likely care little for hell and only wish to maintain its upkeep for its own sake or perhaps to uphold the idea that they still follow god's will, but it's also a mammoth task to regain control over it now that it's so far gone. and they send gabriel. perhaps they believed he was the only one who was capable of cleaning up that mess, but the move seems political, like a way to invent a failure for him. because failure is a death knell for angels, one that incurs heavy punishment as you are meant to be perfect in all you do. so gabriel was given a hell now run by its sinners, and so many there are, with planned insurrections and an entire layer flooded, he was sent with some lower angels to attempt an impossible effort. and he managed it. i'm positive he ran himself ragged doing it, committed a multitude of his own sins in the process, but he reinstated god's will to the extent that any of them can. so he didn't fail, but he's getting tired. and then the machines come, v1 comes, and gabriel is sent to deal with that because the whole of hell is seemingly only his business now. all he needs to do is fail and the council will be justified in their decision to rip the light from his body. because honestly, if it's not political, that would be a BONKERS move on their part given how gabriel seemed to single-handedly deal with the hell problem before all of this. they have an agenda and gabriel accepts it too, coming to them meek and ashamed after losing his fight, doing nothing to stop them as they tear the light from him and his anger is directed entirely toward v1, not the council. he's too obedient to think otherwise.

sorry for carrying on a lot more specifically about gabriel and the council, BUT that's mostly what i can say while sticking somewhat within the confines of canon. overall though, i think it's a strict and segregated place - the human souls are in paradise, but they very rarely see true angels other than gabriel since god disappeared. for their part, they are maintaining after the fall of man, believing in god's almighty power and mostly confident that gabriel and the council are completely in control of the situation. honestly...i'm not sure if this is disputed by anything, but i do kind of like the idea that maybe they're not even fully aware that god is gone. the true angels are adrift, purposeless, doing route management of heaven and little else, save for the council. its infrastructure is starting to buckle, it's turning into whatever the council wishes to make of it, and gabriel is exhausting himself trying to maintain the illusion that this place is still fully functional as it once was. BASICALLY heaven has a veneer of being fine and is holding up for now, crumbling just beneath the surface, but the human souls don't know and the true angels refuse to acknowledge it.

#hello. does anyone want an essay about angel power structures. #CAN YOU TELL angels and demons were something i got way too into as a kid!!!! #sorry again if this contradicts things in canon my memory is atrocious #and also gabriel's responsibility for what he's done is complex #bc he follows his orders exactly but he is active in that choice #i think he genuinely had a soft spot for the people of hell #but he chose to oppress them and harm them as well #because that is what perfection dictates and gabriel is and upholds perfection #YET he himself feels wrong for it but believes this to be a personal failing of his #the fact that he feels this sympathy is to him a sin and a shameful thing #vicious cycles basically #ANYWAY again if you read all this we're holding hands #cake answers #gabriel

[jakeperalta]

it's so sick and twisted that I have to eat healthily and do exercise and sleep enough and keep my living space tidy and go out and interact with the world in order to not feel bad

#like those are all the things i actually don't want to do when i feel bad #so i don't do them and feel worse and it's all a vicious cycle #why can't lying in bed disintegrating be the key to wellness. that's what I'm best at #talking

[catastrxblues]

.

#i want to throw up #and cry #seriously feeling so unmotivated right now and i have exams tomorrow and have only studied a bit #and i'm really tired but i seriously haven't done much #and this is such a vicious cycle and i'm so sick of it #i miss my old self she would've cared #okay i'm going to try to go back studying now #but maybe after some screaming to a pillow for a sec #nadirants

[2pookie]

not so sure how to feel about the "this burden is not yours to bear alone" and the "sh/oto is our h/ero" moments...

#delete later / #first of? it IS his burden to bear alone immho. everybody is hurt (traumatised) and everybody feels like they failed #because YOU rotted this family. YOU poisoned it. YOU wrecked it from inside out. YOU alone abused them. #my visceral reaction to that line was 'don't piss me off now' because dear god... this was a one man's hit. imo! #everybody else's reactions behaviors etc etc were in response to what he put them through #of course! some things are entirely theirs to bear and own up to. but everybody was subjected to his blinding greed #i may get sh/ot for this but the impression i have so far is that t/oya was the one he cared for the most #insane statement. will rewatch it / read it and analyze it all and come back to my current impressions tbh #and now the whole 'sh/oto is our hero'............. #it can be summarized into 1. he is a 16 y/o kid. it's long overdue to stop placing the entire weight of the family #on his shoulders. and 2. i think it feeds and plays into the isolation sh/oto suffered that wrecked them all #+ the vicious cycle of it all + it's still the 'sh/oto vs everyone' mentality idk... what are ur takes on this? #did nawt mean to rant this badly on the tags btw 😭😭

[aristidemakricosta]

when i rewatch the terror, i spend the last couple of episodes just going "why would i ever do this to myself this hurts too much to watch i can't do this again," but then about 12 hours after i finish the finale i'm like "can i watch the terror again?"

#like #i spend the last couple episodes feeling ILL #and miserable #but now i'm like #i want to watch it again #vicious cycle of misery #the terror #my adventures

[afewproblems]

Getting back into it (writing and tumblr) and hoping to post a Lil one-shot hopefully tonight!

#im back baby #i hope #writers block is a beast and the anxiety does not help #afewproblems talks #writers block #vicious cycle of not being able to write and being anxious about not posting and then not being able to write more because of anxiety #which feeds back into being anxious about not being able to post so i avoid tumblr #feels bad #hopefully breaking the cycle again

[everysongineverykey]

something about the way that while aziraphale watches crowley's apology dance he stands like the other angels do when they're awaiting judgment/trying to look official. something about the way his pose is just a little looser than uriel's, how his arms are more just hanging rather than pointed out like uriel's. something about cycles of judgment being softened by centuries on earth, looking different but still being there. something about how this is apparently the first time it's been crowley doing the apology dance and capitulating rather than aziraphale. something about judgment and shame and self-loathing and forgiveness as the carrot on the stick. something about "if you grew up with an angry man in your house, there will always be an angry man in your house".

#good omens #in crowley and aziraphale's minds- but ESPECIALLY in aziraphale's- #there is no compromising. there is only complete capitulation or complete resistance #followed by either total forgiveness or total damnation. #they never really learned how to deal with their problems in a way that works for them both. #look at aziraphale. look at how crowley's generally given up the 'casually evil on earth' thing now that he's retired #and is basically just grumpy #but aziraphale still calls crowley every time he does something good because he still feels that it doesn't mean anything #unless he tells someone about it. #loooove the heaven and hell as abusive families metaphor so fucking much #the vicious cycles!! the loss of a sense of belonging!!!

[kaoharu]

so honest why shld i go to school tmr. whats in it f or me

#✧ chatting ! #slash silly #waughhh everyweek feels like some sort of vicious cycle it hurts #its like being in the timeloop but time is passing by anyways so lamr