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#it should be SWEATER WEATHER not sweaty weather
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as I prepare to bake gingerbread cookies on a day with 82% humidity, temperature currently 22C/71F, I reflect on how monumentally dopey it was to import European Christmas festivities to the Southern Hemisphere
I mean, you’ve got the profound cultural and societal harm caused by Christian evangelism to indigenous cultures
and then you’ve got me sweating over gingerbread in shorts and a teeshirt
nobody wins
(as a family life aside, currently upstairs I can hear my sister asking Green Niece if she is currently Asrael or Mistletoe, the two imaginary cats she sometimes is)
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sl-ut · 1 year
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you should probably leave
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pairing: pre-outbreak!joel miller x fem!reader
description: joel is enamoured by his new neighbour, but old patterns will always be his downfall.
warnings: UNEDITED, slight age gap, slight smut, implied unprotected piv, protected piv, swearing, alcohol consumption, insecurity, angst, reader is given a birthday (she's a sag like me)
words: 10.8K (my longest fic to date)
date posted: 14/03/23
part two
(inspired by you should probably leave by chris stapleton)
OCTOBER 12, 1998
The weather was something that she was unsure if she could ever get used to. For her entire life, she had spent the entirety of the late autumn months dreading the first snowfall of the season before lugging out her extensive collection of knitted sweaters and fur-lined boots. Instead, her little archive of winter clothing was left in a cardboard box in her childhood bedroom, along with the majority of her other belongings that she had not brought with her on her grand adventure–if you could even call it that. 
The University of Texas at Austin had not been her first choice of school, or her second, or third; she actually had never even imagined going to school any further than a few hours from her hometown in Pennsylvania, and yet there she was, standing in front of her brand-new home, sweltering under the harsh Texan sun as she struggled to unload her packed car all on her own. Well, to call it her home would be a pretty tight stretch, as well as to label it as “brand-new.” 
The small bungalow-style house had caught her eye on a flyer in the grocery store, a listing for one female roommate in a cul-de-sac not too far from the city. It wasn’t exactly her dream home by any means, with an ugly yellow exterior and a kitchen that could certainly use an updating, but it she had recently been forced out of her own apartment due to her previous roommate preferring her boyfriend to live their with her instead and it was the nicest of the few places within her price range that would also accommodate the mutt she’d rescued during her first year. All things considered, it was quite literally perfect for her situation–plus her new roommate seemed to have been at least more considerate of her boundaries than the last, which gave her some hope that things might actually work out. 
Y/n grunted at the weight of the box, cursing herself internally for enrolling in school and owning so many textbooks as she lugged it up the front steps, dropping it just inside the door. She couldn’t help but grimace as she glanced up, meeting the watchful gaze of Manny, his furry little head tilting curiously–likely wondering why she was making so much ruckus and interrupting his nap. 
“Lazy ass,” she muttered under her breath at him, kicking the box to the side before trudging back out the door.
The next few boxes were filled with clothes and shoes, fortunately for her spine. She hauled several out, dropping each of them to the pavement of the driveway carelessly as she wiped at her sweaty forehead, apparently too enthralled in the work to notice the beat up truck as it turned into the neighbouring driveway.
“Hey there,” she turned to find a young man, his hair combed back to expose his effortlessly charming face to her, “You need a hand?”
She glanced down at the boxes at her feet, “I wouldn’t wanna bother you.”
A young girl appeared at his side, wide eyes peering over at the older female curiously. The man shrugged, puffing out his broad chest as he moved. Y/n almost laughed at how obvious he was being, only seconds after meeting her. The man gave off the impression that he had always thought fairly highly of himself, probably the quarterback of the high school football team, maybe even involved in the armed forces–the navy, she was betting. He crossed the barrier between the two driveways in two long strides, extending his hand out to her as he came closer. 
“I’m Tommy,” he flashed her a grin, his accent coming out thicker than it probably would have normally. He glanced over his shoulder, motioning for the young girl to follow him into the neighbouring yard, “This is my niece Sarah.”
Y/n smiled politely, shaking his hand lightly, “Hi, I’m Y/n. I guess it’s nice to meet some of my new neighbours.”
“Well, Sarah, here, is your neighbour. Me, I live–”
“What happened to Stephanie?” Sarah interrupted, “I didn’t know she was moving.”
Y/n turned her attention to the young girl, “She isn’t, we’re just living together now.”
Sarah’s mouth formed an ‘o’, the gears visibly turning in her head as she formulated her next question, “Are you guys dating?”
“Sarah!” Tommy choked on his spit, “I’m sorry–”
“It’s okay,” Y/n chuckled at his response before turning back to the young girl, “No, we’re not. I guess she just didn’t wanna be living here all on her own anymore.”
Tommy’s shoulders relaxed, the mortified expression leaving his features in favour of one that she might have even considered relief. He shook his head at his niece, giving her a hard stare, “I’m sorry about her. I figured that she would have some better manners by now–my mistake.”
Sarah swatted at him, a pout appearing on her lips as her brows furrowed. The girl didn’t quite understand how the question may have been taken with offence by some, and was quite miffed by her uncle’s insult. 
“No, no, it’s okay,” Y/n affirmed, “I think it’s actually a good thing that she knows about that kinda stuff.”
Tommy glanced down at the boxes, clear discomfort appearing on his features, “Alrighty then, how about these boxes?”
Y/n gave in, offering Tommy one of the heavier of the three boxes, while shifting the smallest and lightest to the young girl, who had been adamant in helping out. She instructed them to just drop the boxes to the floor by the door, not looking to take up much more of their time. 
A loud gasp escaped Sarah, her wide eyes falling on the mutt, who had appeared to have been equally as excited to see her as he rushed over, tongue lolling out of his mouth and tail flapping wildly. Sarah squealed when he barrelled into her, a fit of giggles leaving her mouth as he brought her to the ground and began to cover her face in slobbery kisses.
“Manny!” Y/n groaned, grasping the dog’s collar and pulling away enough for Sarah to sit up off of the floor, “Sorry, he’s just convinced that everyone wants to be his friend.”
“I’ll be his friend!” Sarah beamed, reaching out and squishing the dog’s face in between her palms, “I mean… Can I?”
Y/n shrugged, “As long as it’s okay with your…” She glanced at Tommy for help, unsure about Sarah’s parentage situation. He’d already made it clear that he did not live next door, but had never explicitly stated who did.
“You’ll have to ask your dad, Sarah,” He chastised her, “Anyway, we should get out of your hair now, let you settle in.”
Y/n nodded, “Yeah, thank you for the help, though.”
“No problem, ma’am,” He winked, southern charm on full display as he stepped out onto the front step, “Anytime for a pretty girl like you. C’mon, Sar.”
Sarah begrudgingly offered the needy pup one more affectionate squeeze before following after her uncle, leaping off of the step and bounding across to her own front yard. Tommy paused, hand resting on the railing of the step and giving it a firm shake. His lips pursed into a line as he let out a small huh as the bannister shifted out of its place, then back in under the pressure. 
“Yeah, Steph said there were all kinds of little things wrong with the place,” Y/n noted, “But hey, if it’s got four walls and a roof, it’s good enough for me.”
He chuckled at her, shaking his head, “You know, my brother and I are contractors, we could come over and help you fix things up if you guys wanted.”
She hummed, “I’ll mention it to Steph. Wouldn’t wanna just start making changes to her house while she’s not here, would I?”
Tommy hummed, “‘Spose that’s true. Anyway, I should go see where she ran off to, but I sure hope I’ll be seeing you around.” He shot her a cheeky wink before jogging back over to the neighbouring yard, leaving her and Manny among the mess of boxes in the entryway. 
Y/n huffed, glancing around at the mess, then at the furry little beast at her feet, who waited patiently for her to begin offering him her love and attention. She rested her hands on her hips, shaking her head softly, “Well, let’s just get this done, boy.”
– – –
Joel grunted as he clambered in through the side door of his home, sighing in relief as he slipped out of his heavy work boots and dropped the armload of groceries onto the kitchen counter. He could hear the TV on in the living room, drowned out by Sarah’s yell of a greeting. He rushed to put away the groceries, sticking the brown paper bags in the recycling before stepping into the dimly lit sitting area. 
Tommy was reclined on the couch, slumped into the worn leather like a pile of mashed potatoes as he balanced his can of Budweiser on his bent knee. He nodded to his brother briefly as he lifted the beer to his lips, hardly taking his eyes off of the football game on the screen as Joel plopped down next to him. The older brother leaned forward, pressing a small kiss to Sarah’s head so as to not disturb her as she worked on her homework on the coffee table in front of the couch before finally copying his brother’s position.
“The hell took you so long? You left the site the same time I did, and I had to go pick this shithead up from school,” he playfully kicked at Sarah’s leg, “plus I helped your new neighbour move in.”
“Supermarket was a zoo,” Joel moaned as he ran his palm flat over his face, then furrowed his brow, “What new neighbour?”
Tommy nodded his head back in the direction of the mustard yellow house, “Chick next door got a new roommate.”
“Uncle Tommy was flirting with her,” Sarah chimed in, not taking her eyes off of the math textbook in front of her.
Joel rolled his eyes, “Now tell me why I’m not surprised.”
Tommy shook his head, taking another large gulp of beer, “I know what you’re thinking, but this girl’s different. She’s not from ‘round here. Not sure where, but she’s got an accent. Canada, maybe.”
“You know what a Canadian accent sounds like?” Joel scoffed, knowing that his brother was prone to drawing his own conclusions. 
“Well, no,” Tommy frowned, “But I imagine it might sound like that. Doesn’t matter, I think I’m gonna ask her out.”
Joel grunted in response, turning his eyes to the game on the screen.
“She wasn’t flirting back,” Sarah grinned up at the two men, her eyes lighting up at the sight of her father’s growing smirk and giggling as his own laughter came tumbling out. Tommy kicked her again, only this time with a little more force, “What? You invited yourself over there and were all,” She puffed her chest out and deepened her voice, “Anything for a pretty girl like you.”
Joel rested a palm on his belly as he shook with laughter, his other hand landing on the top of his daughter’s head affectionately as Tommy crossed his arms, sulking. 
“I think she was flirting back,” he argued.
“She wasn’t,” Sarah reaffirmed.
Tommy leaned forward, “Now how the hell would you know anything about flirting, huh? You been doin’ a lot of it at school?”
Her face burned in embarrassment, sputtering for a response, “No, that’s gross!”
Joel frowned at her, shaking his head in feign sternness, “You better not be. Otherwise I might need to break out grandpa’s old hunting rifle.”
She didn’t utter another word, simply gathering her things in her arms and rushing off to her bedroom, slamming the door shut behind her as the laughter of her father and uncle followed her every step.
OCTOBER 17, 1998
Just under a week had passed since he’d first caught wind of his new neighbour, and Joel had yet to even see this woman. He’d noticed the new car in the driveway, and he’d picked up on the presence of the dog fairly quickly, especially after he’d caught Sarah tossing some of the vegetables from her dinner over the fence for him. Joel hadn’t paid it much mind, he was far too busy to be concerned with some young girl who didn’t seem to be causing much issues. 
He’d had words with Stephanie several times in the past; once for blatantly smoking pot on 
her front step when they were heading out for the day, then for leaving her garbage bin too close to his driveway, causing him to back into it and scratch the paint on his truck, and then once more when she’d had a little get together that ended up lasting until 4am, when the police arrived. He would normally have called himself a narc for having the party shut down, but it was keeping Sarah awake and the door had been shut in his face when he went over to ask politely. 
The day had been long, and normally he would have refused Tommy’s invitation to head over to one of the local dive bars, but after dealing with the shit-show that had gone on at the job site that day, he really needed a drink. Sarah was out of the house, anyway, having slept over at a friend’s house, so there was quite literally nothing keeping him away.
“Brother’s night, my ass,” Joel grumbled into his glass, glancing over to the corner booth, where his brother had joined a pretty brunette, leaving Joel to himself at the barside. He waved at the bartender, motioning for another top-up of his whiskey. 
A figure appeared at his side, leaning onto the bartop to call out to the bartender. Joel glanced over, his eyes raking over her radiant side profile in awe. He shot his gaze back to the glass of amber liquid in front of him, then briefly over to the girl once more. His eyes narrowed in on her pursed lips, noting how her brows furrowed in frustration as the bartender migrated to the other side of the bar. She turned to him suddenly, and Joel whipped his head back around to ensure that he wouldn’t appear to be some creep–though he was positive he certainly had been.
“Is it always like this here?” She asked him, tilting her head. “I swear, I’ve gone to three different spots along this bar, and buddy keeps looking in the other direction.”
He cleared his throat, “You not from around here?”
She smiled sheepishly, “Is it that obvious?”
Joel chuckled, “Just a little. You gotta get his attention, be firm. Here,” he tucked his index finger and thumb into his mouth and let out a loud whistle, nodding at the bartender as he rushed over. 
“Two vodka crans, please,” The girl smiled prettily at the bartender, then scoffed as he turned to begin pouring the drinks, “Shit, I guess I could stand to learn a thing or two.”
“It comes with time,” He frowned, realising that he may have implied that he was at the bar every other night, “I mean, not that I’m–”
She touched his arm softly, electricity running through her fingertips and into his bicep, “Hey, I’m not here to judge you if you’re not here to judge me, heh?”
He nodded, opening his mouth to speak once more when another figure appeared at her side. His smile dropped, taking in the sight of his next door neighbour, probably one of the last people he wanted to see on his night off.
“What the fuck is taking you so long–oh,” Stephanie narrowed her eyes at the older man, who simply turned and took another long swig of his whiskey, “Hello, Joel.”
“Stephanie,” he drawled, “How you doin’ tonight?”
She smirked at him maliciously, “Fine. Y/n, this is the guy I was telling you about.”
Oh, this is Y/n, he thought to himself, suddenly understanding Tommy’s instant interest in the girl. 
“All good things, I hope,” he sighed into his glass.
She shook her head, “Oh, just that you’re the neighbour from hell, and that you’re a narc.”
Y/n tucked her bottom lip in between her teeth, visibly uncomfortable at the confrontation. His eyes fell to her mouth at the movement, wondering what it might feel like to take that same lip in between his own teeth. 
“You keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep at night, Steph,” he huffed, praying to any god that would listen that she hadn’t completely turned Y/n against him.
Stephanie sneered at him, grasping one of the drinks from the bartop and stomping off, leaving a thick tension over the remaining two. Joel met Y/n’s gaze once again, noting the visible embarrassment on her face as she began to laugh slowly.
“Sorry about her,” She laughed nervously, “For the record, I know that she’s a little dramatic.”
“‘T’s fine,” Joel grumbled, swallowing the last gulp of whiskey, “You ain’t gotta apologise for her, she can feel however she wants about me.”
Y/n chuckled, a genuine one this time and Joel couldn’t help but carve the melodious sound into his memory, “I’m Y/n, by the way.”
He nodded, accepting the soft handshake that she offered, “So I’ve heard.” He noticed the slight furrow of her brow before he clarified, “I’m Sarah’s dad.”
Realisation crossed her face, “Oh, Sarah! She’s a real sweetheart.”
“Yeah, she is,” he smiled softly at the complement, “She sure likes you, and I’m assuming that it’s your pup that I’ve caught her feeding her broccoli to?”
Y/n giggled at him, “Huh, I’d noticed that he was especially gassy lately. Here I was thinking it was something in the water.”
Joel let out a loud laugh, then realised that he had not actually introduced himself, “Shit. Sorry, I just–” he coughed, “I’m Joel.”
“So I’ve heard.” She repeated to him, clearing her throat before turning to gaze at him through her lashes with a soft smile, “So Joel, is this seat taken?”
– – –
Y/n had not expected to have enjoyed herself quite so much when Stephanie forced her to go to the grubby little saloon, feeling incredibly out of place among all of the southerners. She had been hesitant to leave Manny on his own so soon after moving in, but the last thing that she had wanted to do was get on Stephanie’s bad side so early on. Then, she’d stumbled upon the devastatingly handsome man sitting all on his own at the bar, and her tune changed drastically. 
She sat on that stool for the better part of two hours after Stephanie had fucked off, leaving them to become acquainted with one another. Joel had offered her another drink, which she accepted under the terms that she would buy the next round, and against his better judgement, he found himself doing a shot of tequila with her as well. She smirked to herself when she took note of the flush that had crawled into his cheeks, and how cheerful his dark chocolate eyes looked under the dim lighting of the bar. 
Y/n had noticed Tommy in the corner booth, and how he had been blatantly pressing his southern charm onto the brunette under his arm in the very same way that he had to her, which made her feel much better knowing that he couldn’t possibly be that upset about her doing the exact same to his brother. 
Her hand had come to rest on his knee, leaning across to invade his personal space animatedly as she spoke, her own cheeks flushing each time that he grinned or laughed at her words, and she had lost count of the amount of times that she had rubbed her thighs together or considered smashing her lips to his. 
Tommy appeared at his side, clutching his shoulder in his firm grasp, “Hey Joel, you think you’re ready–oh, hey, Y/n.” His cheeks had turned red, one hand self-consciously rising to rub at his cheek, where the stark red lipstick stain had once acted as a trophy and was now an admission of guilt. Tommy pursed his lips, “Wasn’t expecting to see you here tonight.”
She shrugged, “Steph forced me out.”
He nodded awkwardly, unsure of how to save himself in this situation. 
Y/n turned her head, catching sight of her roommate’s drunken attempt to seduce the bouncer before turning her attention back to the older of the two brothers, squeezing his knee once before sliding off of the stool, “Speaking of, I should probably leave, she’s gonna get us banned from here any minute now. It’s been nice, talking to you, Joel. See you, Tommy.”
Both men watched as she disappeared into the crowd, eyes trailing after her figure longingly.
Tommy huffed, “You think I still got a chance?”
Joel’s shoulders shook in a drunken fit of giggles, lifting his own hand to proudly show off the nine digits that had been marked into his skin, “Nope.”
Tommy’s jaw dropped, clear disappointment on his features before it was quickly replaced by pride, “Well fuck, brother. Didn’t think you had it in you.”
OCTOBER 31, 1998
Y/n wiped at the sweat on her brow, breathing picking up in delight as she turned the corner and the blinding yellow house came into sight. The sun had already begun to set by the time that she and Manny had set out on their evening walk, now settling low on the horizon and casting a golden hue to the world below it as Manny tugged on his leash, obviously also desperate to escape the heat. 
A loud honk sounded from behind her, muffled slightly by the music playing over her bulky headphones, drawing her attention to the dark pickup truck as it sped past, Sarah hanging out the back window with a grin on her face as she waved dramatically. Y/n chuckled at the young girl, allowing Manny to lead her into a faster pace as they grew closer to their house.
She slid the headphones down to rest around her neck, pressing pause on her walkman as Sarah rushed towards them. The girl paid very little mind to the woman holding the leash, instead dropping to her knees and reaching out for the excited dog’s face, laughing as he began to lick enthusiastically at her cheek. 
“Hi,” her gaze rose to find Joel as he rounded the bed of the truck, hand resting on the top of the tailgate as he tried his best to look casual, “sorry, this one never shuts up about that dog.”
Y/n smiled at him, warmth flooding through her cheeks. She’d only actually spoken to Joel a handful of times since that night at the bar, mostly simple greetings while Sarah occupied herself with Manny. Joel was too awkward of a person to try anything with Sarah present, and Y/n was too compassionate to question him about why he hadn’t bothered to call yet in front of his daughter. 
Y/n shrugged, “To be fair, he never shuts up about her, either.”
“Oh did he tell you that?” The man asked, brows raised playfully, “I didn’t know you spoke dog.”
“There are many things you don’t know about me yet, Joel,” She smirked at him, “Oh, happy Halloween, by the way.”
“Right,” Joel raised one hand to stroke his hairy chin, “Yeah, you too.”
Sarah glanced up from Manny’s pleading brown eyes, “Dad forgot.
Joel sent a sharp glare to his daughter, then smiled sheepishly at her, “Not too concerned about a holiday that’s got nothing to do with me, anyway–this one decided she’s too cool for trick-or-treating with dad this year.”
“Oh don’t feel too discouraged, I gave my dad the boot when I was even younger.”
“See?” Sarah pressed, glancing back at her father, “You don’t even like Halloween, I don’t get why you’re mad.”
Y/n widened her eyes and clutched her chest dramatically, “What do you mean, you don’t like Halloween? It’s like, one of the best holidays!”
Joel rolled his eyes, “Oh don’t tell me you’re one of those people.”
She pursed her lips, “And just when I was starting to like you, Miller.”
His eyes met hers, curiosity pooling into the dark mocha irises as he considered her words. He almost appeared apologetic; could he feel guilty about not calling her? Y/n did her best to not appear too shaken by his lack of contact–she hadn’t expected anything from him the next day, but after two weeks and still no call? She’d taken that as a sign that he’d been a tad too drunk when he had been so shamelessly flirting with her, and that he had no intentions of ever pursuing anything. 
Y/n was thankful when Sarah interrupted the pair, preventing her from spiralling into a nervous breakdown from her own inner monologue, “What are you dressing up as?”
The woman shook her head with a mischievous smirk on her lips, “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see when you come knocking at my door, huh?”
“No big plans?” Joel tilted his head, “I figured that roommate of yours would have you out on the town.”
She shrugged, “Steph’s out of town. Something about the drinks and the guys being stronger. Looks like it’s just gonna be me and my little guy here,” she gently clapped a hand against Manny’s side, “Well, us and a selection of horror movies.”
Sarah stood up, leaning into her dad’s side with her elbow, “How convenient, my dad will also be home alone tonight.”
Joel dropped his head in embarrassment–just leave it to Sarah to blatantly play the role of her father’s wingwoman. He refused to meet Y/n’s amused gaze, ears burning as Sarah continued.
“And he totally loves horror movies. He watches them all the time.”
“Oh really?” Y/n did her best not to burst out laughing, enjoying the sight of both Joel’s embarrassment and how confidently Sarah was trying to talk up her own father. She crossed her arms over her chest, doing her best to not make it too obvious how much she actually wanted to invite him to join her, but she didn’t want to display too much interest in him if he genuinely had none in her, “Well then maybe he should head to Blockbuster before all of the good ones are rented.” 
She raised her brow at him, signalling to him that it was his turn to make a move, as she would not be making any more. He nodded at her, red flooding his cheeks as he tried to muster up the courage to discuss the clear tension between them. 
Y/n smiled politely at them both, then glanced down at the heavily panting dog at her feet, “Well, I better get this guy out of this heat. See you guys in a bit, then?” She led the dog past them, glancing back over her shoulder, her lips pursed as she watched Sarah poke at her father’s side sharply. 
The young girl smirked at her dad knowingly, remaining silent, though the expression on her face made her thoughts very clear to the man. She scowled at him, crossing her arms over her chest, “Christina’s sister is so right; all boys are stupid.”
The man scowled at his daughter, watching in silence as she moved around him without another word, disappearing through the front door without so much as another glance. Joel scoffed, shaking his head at her, and wondering how the hell his nine year old could be so goddamn right about the situation. 
– – –
Joel wiped his hands anxiously across the expanse of his thighs, attempting to rid himself of the nervous sweat that had collected in his palms as he stood on Y/n’s front step, mustering up the courage to finally knock. 
“The fuck am I doing,” He cursed to himself, shaking his head as he ran a hand over his face. 
Y/n was younger than him; not by a lot, but they were still in very different stages of their lives. He wasn’t willing to admit that he genuinely did like her, and considering that she was still a young woman and still in college, he wasn’t entirely sure what she was looking for with him. Was it just some quick fuck that she wanted? Joel wouldn’t be opposed–hell, he was ashamed that he’d imagined such a thing more than a few times since meeting her–but he wasn’t sure if he could jump into bed with her and then move on with his life, nor could he expect her to be willing to just pick up the role of step-mother to his little girl. 
Joel had woken up on October 17, hungover as hell and struggling to recall any of his memories from the night before. He’d forced himself out of bed much earlier than he would have liked, needing to pick Sarah up before her soccer game. The man had stumbled his way into the shower, blindly going through the motions of bathing himself as the warm water slowly began to remove the fog from his mind. It was then, as he had reached out for his bottle of body wash that he noticed the smudge of blue ink on his skin, and then jumping in surprise at the memory of the beautiful woman who had given him her phone number–the woman who had him laughing like he hadn’t in so long and blushing harder than he thought possible–the woman who he hoped was now lying peacefully in her bed next door, preferably all on her own. 
The few times that he had seen her since then, he had thought about apologising for not calling and telling her the truth of what had happened, despite his embarrassment. He wanted to ask for it again, but every time, Sarah was there, making a fuss over the little pooch that never seemed to leave Y/n’s side. He wished that he were more confident in himself, more willing to speak to other women even if his daughter was there, but he simply would never be able to look at the young girl again if Y/n were to reject him. 
“Shit,” He swore loudly as he turned to rush off of the step, instead booting one of the carefully carved jack-o-lanterns onto the pavement of the driveway and watching in horror as it shattered on impact. 
“Joel?” He froze at the sound of the door creaking open behind him, smiling bashfully at the young woman as he did his best to not appear too guilty. Her eyes fell from his flushed face to the mess of orange at his feet, a surprised chuckle leaving her lips, “Damn, you really do hate Halloween, huh? Enough to come over here and start destroying my decorations, anyway.”
He sputtered for an answer, “I–it was an accident, I just knocked it off by accident on my way out–”
“Your way out?” She questioned, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the doorframe, “So what, you were just loitering on my front step?”
He scoffed at her, “I was actually on my way to apologise, but if you’d rather I just get lost…”
Y/n raised a brow inquisitively, “I’m listening.”
“I just–I’m sorry for not calling,” Joel admitted with a sigh, debating whether or not it would be best to explain exactly why, “For what it’s worth, I would have if I hadn’t washed it off by accident.”
An amused expression crossed her features as she mulled over his explanation, “You…washed it off?”
He shrugged and scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, “I did.”
She narrowed her eyes at him, as if she were trying to decipher whether or not he was being truthful, “Okay.”
His gaze shifted from side to side, uncertain as to what she meant, “Okay?”
“Okay,” She affirmed, “So what time did you wanna come over tonight?”
Joel swallowed the lump in his throat, “Tonight?”
Y/n shrugged nonchalantly, ignoring the butterflies that slammed at the lining of her stomach and threatened to erupt, “Tonight. You said it yourself, Sarah’s gonna be gone all night, so would  you rather be home alone or come over? Otherwise, I’ll just be here by myself, scared and in need of a devastatingly handsome cowboy to protect me from Michael Myers.”
Blush spread across his cheeks, his hands coming up to rest on his hips, “I don’t know about ‘devastatingly handsome’, but I think I could handle some asshole in a mask.”
She grinned at him wickedly, “That’s what everyone thinks, but I guess we’ll see tonight, around eight?”
“Eight.” He confirmed, then glanced down at the mess at his feet, “And sorry about your pumpkin.”
“It’s alright,” Y/n smirked, “You’ll just have to work extra hard to make it up to me.”
– – –
Joel anxiously adjusted his shirt, frowning at himself in the window of her front door. Despite dismissing Sarah’s teasing by claiming that this was in fact, not a date, he’d taken her advice in showering the moment that he had gotten into the house. 
He was aware that she was flirting with him, but until he had gotten out of the shower, towel sitting low around his waist as he wiped the steam away from the mirror and took in his shaggy appearance, he had not been at all concerned about what activities the night might lead to. Staring at his own reflection, nervousness quickly began to settle into his bones.
He had made quick work with the clipper, shortening the length of his facial hair after several weeks of negligence and leaving his lower face to be covered by a light stubble. He put a little more effort into his hair than usual, running a thin layer of gel through it while noting to himself that it was probably time for a haircut. He even took things a step further, dabbing a few drops of some woodsy cologne onto his skin; the bottle had gone untouched for two years, having been a Christmas present from his mother.
“Are you wearing cologne?” Sarah asked as she appeared at his side, face painted to resemble a circus clown, “I knew this was a date.”
“It’s not a date,” He argued, doing his best not to jump in fright at her appearance, “Shouldn’t you be out on the town by now, Ronald McDonald?”
“You showered, put on cologne, and you’re bringing candy? It’s a date.” Sarah listed, “And I’m Pennywise, by the way. Christina’s sister is coming to pick me up soon. She says that guys always dress up when she goes out with them because they want her–”
Joel grunted, glaring at his daughter, “I want you to stop hanging around Christina’s sister.”
Sarah ignored his comment, “Is that what you’re wearing?”
Joel glanced down at his outfit–a clean pair of jeans and an old t-shirt that he’d probably gotten out of a beer box or something, “What’s wrong with this?”
“What’s right with it?” 
Joel considered his parenting style for a moment, wondering if he would be free of this headache if he had spanked his daughter once or twice in her life. Sometimes he forgot that the girl was only nine years old with how intelligent she was and how much more mature she seemed in comparison to other kids her age. 
“It’s not a date, Sarah.”
She rolled her eyes, “It could be. Come on.”
Sarah rushed past him, leading him into his own bedroom as she began to dig through his closet. She frowned with almost every piece that she picked out, tossing them behind her recklessly and ignoring her father’s scolding for the mess that she had quickly created. 
“Hah!” The girl pulled out an egg-plant button down and shoved it into his grasp, “I knew you had to have something that wasn’t that ugly.”
He grunted at her, but didn’t reply out of respect for her brutal honesty as he quickly shed himself of the worn t-shirt he’d previously been wearing in favour of the one that Sarah had chosen. Now, as he stood at her front door and internally decided for himself that this was a date, he couldn’t help but thank God for his daughter’s awareness.
Finally, after tugging at the hem of his shirt, he raised a fist and knocked heavily on the door. Joel choked on his own saliva when she appeared in the window, smiling sweetly at him when she pulled the door open. She had already changed into a pair of black yoga pants and a sky blue shirt that exposed just a tasteful amount of her midriff. 
“Hi, again,” she breathed, a smile forming on her face, “You look nice, purple is definitely your colour.”
Joel burned, “I–thank you. Sarah picked it out.”
Y/n turned to the girl, who had already ushered the dog up onto the sofa with her, “Well she has a clear eye for style.”
“She definitely thinks so, that girl damn near harrasses me about my clothes everyday.” Y/n laughed out loud, Joel’s ears tingling at the melodious sound, “You look great, too.”
Y/n beamed down at her outfit, shrugging to herself, “Thanks, I thought about keeping my costume on but I wasn’t entirely sure how much you would be into Strawberry Shortcake.”
Joel chuckled at her, glancing down at the object in his hand, “I brought beer, by the way. Wasn’t sure if I should bring anything, or if you even like–”
Y/n reached out, snatching the six pack from his grasp, “Ever the gentleman, cowboy. So, you coming in?”
– – –
The house was filled with laughter, both having nearly finished their first beer as they shared stories freely. Halloween played quietly in the background, though neither of them paid too much attention. Y/n did her best not to physically melt when she felt Joel’s arm drape across the back of the sofa behind her, resisting the urge to tease him for attempting to cover it up by faking a dramatic yawn. 
She brushed her fingers along the top of his thigh, smirking to herself as she watched his leg slowly shift closer to her, though he didn’t address the affectionate touch. He spoke to her softly, and made an effort to hold eye contact with her as he did to–she was starting to feel some guilt about the conclusion that he’d drawn about him after he’d failed to call her. Her own gaze continuously fell to his lips as he spoke, and she was sure that he had noticed by the way that his lips began to curl confidently. Her heart hammered in her chest, wondering how much longer she would need to wait before he finally made a move.
Joel, however, was wondering exactly how he possibly could make a move. While feeling confident around her, there was no way to escape the fact that he hadn’t been on a date in at least a year, and he could count the amount of women he’d slept with since Sarah’s mother on one hand. At various points throughout the night, he had considered leaning in to kiss her, but had successfully siked himself out each time. The first time, he’d been interrupted by the pooch who had been jealous of his owner’s attention being focused elsewhere, though he could only blame every other time on his own insecurity.
“Do you want another beer?” Y/n asked as he swallowed the last gulp out of his can, “Or I have wine and pop?”
“Pop,” he scoffed, chest rumbling with quiet laughter.
She raised her hand and slapped his pec as she stood up from the couch, “Fine, you don’t get anything.”
He laughed, watching as she disappeared into the kitchen and shamelessly admiring the shape of her backside in the darkness of the dimly lit living room. He sat there for a few moments, staring at the movie in discontent, sighing as he ran his hand over his face and murmured a nearly silent fuck it, and following after her. 
“Is it too late to apologise and get that beer?” 
She glanced over her shoulder at him, smirking as she shrugged coyly as she turned and leaned her back against the front of the refrigerator and holding the perspiring can out in front of her, “You’ll have to come get it yourself.”
Joel crossed the small room in two long strides, stopping as the can met his chest, though he paid it little mind as she stepped away from the fridge, pressing a fleeting kiss to his lips. He froze for a second, stomach clenching at the soft touch. 
“Sorry,” Y/n whispered, though her tone betrayed how unapologetic she truly was, “Was that okay?”
He didn’t respond, quickly taking the beer out of her grasp and tossing it onto the counter as he cupped her face, capturing her lips with his and pressing her back against the fridge once more. She smiled against his lips, fingers bunching in the material of his plum coloured shirt and tugging him even closer. 
His lips were chapped against her own, the telltale sign of a busy man who hadn’t been too concerned with his physical appearance up until now, though she could not picture another kiss that she had received in the last several years that would even compare to Joel’s. 
One of his hands fell, fingers splaying around her waist as he pressed even closer, parting his lips as he felt the tip of her tongue prod at the seam and allowing her to seek out his own. He moaned at her taste, fingers wandering to her hip and hesitating, almost as if he had been asking for her permission to move even lower. She grasped his hand, guiding it around to cup her bottom.
Pulling away for air, she giggled softly and fluttered her eyelids open to find him already staring at her with blown pupils. One of her hands slid up his chest, tugging at the collar of his shirt before her fingers trailed over his patchy beard affectionately, “I don’t know if this is too soon, but do you wanna move to my bedroom?”
Joel chuckled at her, squeezing her cheek through her yoga pants, “Lead the way.”
– – –
Joel worried that he might have gone into cardiac arrest as he struggled to catch his breath, back slouched against the headboard as Y/n slumped flush against his chest. The cotton sheets pooled around her hips as she continued to move softly, working them both through the aftershocks of their climaxes. The man sighed in appreciation as her lips continued to slide against his jawline and leave gentle kisses in their wake, her fingers still lost in his dark curls.
Joel’s own hands squeezed her hips as she finally slowed to a stop, helping her slide off of him and smirking to himself at the whine she let out at the loss of contact. She shifted, moving out of his lap and curling into the cool sheets on the bed next to him.
“How was that?” He panted, “Have I done enough to make up for lost time?”
She grinned at him, her own chest rising and falling with her slowing breaths, “I think I recall doing most of the work, actually.”
“Bein’ on top doesn’t mean you were doing any work, sweetheart, I think we both know that.” His eyes fell on the digital alarm clock on her bedside table, grunting to himself as he took note of the late hour, “Shit–how the hell is it ten-thirty already?”
She glanced over to the clock briefly, then back at him, “Time flies when you’re having fun.”
Staring down at her nude form, guilt began to eat away at him as he began to slide off of the mattress and begin gathering his clothes that had been scattered around the room. 
“Are you leaving?” His back was turned to her as he pulled on his jeans, though he could only imagine the look on her face from the emotion that dripped from her voice; she was disappointed, facing the reality that she would be abandoned after doing something so intimate. 
“I mean…” Joel coughed, “Yeah, I should probably leave. Gotta work early tomorrow, and Sarah’s got soccer practice, and–”
“You don’t have to explain yourself,” She sat up, hugging her knees to her chest in an attempt to regain her modesty, “I get it.”
Joel couldn’t help but wonder how many times she’d done this. She seemed disheartened, but not entirely surprised at his decision to head out, as if she was expecting this time to be different from the others–as if she was expecting Joel to be any different from the other shitty guys she’d met since moving to Austin.
“Darlin’,” Joel cooed, coming to sit at the edge of the mattress and cupping her face in his large palms, “It’s not like that. I want nothing more than to stay the night, but I know that I won’t sleep a wink tonight if I do.” His thumb stroked her bottom lip as her mouth slanted into a small, saddened smile. He leaned in, pressing three kisses to her lips, each one longer than the last before pulling back, “Can I get your number? I promise I won’t ask for a third time.”
Y/n smiled at him, kissing him once more before snatching a pen off of the bedside table and scribbling on his hand, “You won’t get it if you ask for a third time, Miller.”
MARCH 12, 1999
Y/n sighed blissfully, gnawing at her lip to prevent any moans of pleasure as Joel worked himself into her over and over, his hips meeting hers with slow, meaningful movements as he did his best to keep both of them quiet. Joel wasn’t normally one for booty calls, though he had hardly seen her in the past few days and couldn’t resist when his mind had wandered while in the shower–and for the first time in what felt like decades, he could rely on the help of soft, feminine touches rather than his own fast and rough tugs. 
Her thighs shook, teeth biting into the pillow beneath her face as she pressed her hips back against him and arched her spine in pleasure. She met his thrusts enthusiastically, fingers winding into the sheets tightly. 
“Shit,” She gasped, “Joel, I’m gonna–”
“I know,” He rasped, “Shhh baby. Let go, I’ve got you.”
She didn’t hold back, allowing the white hot pleasure to run through her veins, muffling her cries in the plushness of the pillow. Her walls clenched around him, gripping him for everything that she could manage as he fucked her through it, head rolled back in pleasure as his own orgasm teetered over the edge. His fingers tightened around her hips, hauling her back against him a few more times before his seed painted the inside of the condom. 
His hands slid up from her hips, one pressing on her back to force her to lay flat against the mattress while the other cupped the soft flesh of her belly to roll her over. Joel took in her figure, eyes scanning her face for any signs of discomfort before dropping to her breasts; the man was absolutely entranced by the shape of her breasts, eagerly pawing at them during makeout sessions and suckling at them with the utmost love and desire as he fucked her. She smiled at him tiredly, hooded eyes admiring his own figure as he slipped out of her, sliding off of the bed and disappearing into the ensuite. 
When he returned, he wore a pair of black boxers and carried a maroon washcloth in his hand, carefully parting her legs and sliding the cloth through her folds, puffy and sore from his touch. He whispered an entirely disingenuous apology as he pressed lightly against her abused clit, chuckling to himself as she jumped. Tossing the cloth aside, he settled into the mattress next to her, sliding an arm around her waist and tugging her into his side, sighing in relief at the physical contact. 
The rising sun had slowly begun to peek through the blinds, filling the room with a soft glow in the aftermath of the third round. Y/n glanced at the clock on the far wall, sighing to herself as reality settled into her bones. She hadn’t intended on staying so long, especially after how eagerly the both of them had initiated the first round, having allowed herself to remain at his side until she felt his member begin to grow against her thigh once more. Now, after taking him inside of her three times over the past six hours, she knew that she would eventually need to get up and leave–a habit that they both had and hated when they were finished. 
She pressed careful kisses into his flesh, lips moulding to the sweaty skin of his shoulder and neck affectionately while her palm rubbed circles into his firm chest. Joel nuzzled his head into her hair, his own lips pressing to the crown of her head as he, too, appreciated the afterglow. 
Y/n’s body and heart screamed at her as she finally pulled herself away from him, hopping out of the bed and collecting her clothing from the floor. Joel watched her with sunken eyes, his attempt to remain stoic as he easily recognised what she was doing proving fruitless.
“You don’t–you don’t gotta go just yet,” he called to her, desperation lacing his voice, “Don’t gotta be at the site till eleven tomorrow–”
“Today,” she corrected, “And that’s in seven hours. Besides, I don’t wanna fall asleep and risk having to run into Sarah. I should probably leave.” 
He nodded slowly, continuing to watch her as she dressed and fixed her appearance, preparing herself mentally and physically for her four A.M. walk of shame. Joel wanted to call her back to bed again, to convince her to stay with him and promise breakfast in the morning, but instead watched helplessly as she disappeared into the dark hallway, and closed his eyes disappointedly at the sound of the front door closing behind her.
JUNE 2, 1999
Golden rays of sun peeked through the blinds, trailing up the length of the bed with each passing moment before finally gracing over the soft skin of the woman next to him. Joel laid in his bed as still as possible, one arm around her shoulders to keep her flush against his chest, savouring the intimate, domestic moment before it would eventually come to an end–it always did.
The alarm clock flashed the time tauntingly at him, as if mocking him for wanting to keep her there for much longer than he knew he could. This was undoubtedly the latest she had stayed in his bed; it was nearing six A.M. and she had yet to stir from her deep slumber. 
His eyes trailed the length of her bare back, his fingers pressing gently at the indent of her spine as he pushed her body impossibly closer to her and bathing himself in the feeling of her nude body against his own. Joel resisted the urge to shake the growing ache out of his leg as pins and needles crawled up the length of his limb, too afraid to move and wake her–he knew what would come once her eyes had opened, as she had done it countless times now. 
It was the twitch of her fingers against the soft flesh of his belly that alerted him to her growing consciousness, nails following the pattern of hair that covered his abdomen softly, drawing a quiet moan of delight from the man beneath her. He felt the curve of her lips against his shoulder, turning his head to meet her eyes as they fluttered open.
“Morning, cowboy,” Her throat was dry and her voice was scratchy, but her words still held the power of causing an eruption of butterflies in his gut. 
“Morning,” He leaned closer, the tips of his nose brushing her own before she swatted him away, covering her mouth self-consciously and mumbling something about morning breath. Joel chuckled at her, moving her hand away and planting a soft, closed-mouth kiss against her lips. 
Her smile grew, hazy vision flickering around the sun-lit bedroom as realisation dawned on her, “What time is it?”
Joel’s own smile faltered as he cleared his throat, glancing over at the alarm clock again, “Five-to-six.”
“Shit,” She groaned, a hand settling on her forehead, “I should probably leave. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” 
Joel shook his head at her, “You ain’t got nothing to apologise for. I like having you here.”
She pecked his lips again, fondness creeping through her at the man’s admission, “I like being here. But I should go before Sarah wakes up.”
Joel caught her arm as she moved to crawl out of the bed, “Stay.”
“What?”
“Sarah knows you’ve been coming around and leaving early in the morning.” He told her, thumb smoothing circles against her wrist, “She says she’s happy for me, but she said that she won’t approve until you start bringing that damn dog of yours over here when you come.”
Y/n chuckled, her eyes growing a thin red rim along her waterline, “What are you saying?”
“I’m asking you to stay. Every damn night you spend here, you go rushing out like this is just a quick fuck, but I think we both know that it’s a lot more than that. Just come back to bed, please.”
Y/n shook her head at him, glancing over at the rising sun through the blinds in contemplation before she finally shrugged, crawling back into the bed and settling against his naked form with a sigh, her hand resting on his chest as she massaged small circles into his sweaty flesh. Both of them relaxed into one another, enjoying the silence of the early morning and dreading the unavoidable fate of the alarm going off in the coming hour.
NOVEMBER 27, 1999
Y/n tapped her nails against the hardwood of the tabletop rhythmically, doing her best not to make her dissociation too clear as her friends and family chattered back and forth. Her mother was busy on her left hand side, sharing dozens of her favourite childhood photographs to Y/n’s friends with a fondness that only a mother could have, while the seat to her left was empty. The watch that she’d received as a gift from her parents sat on her wrist, the time ticking away as grief settled in her stomach, the realisation that he simply wasn’t coming eating away at her pride.
Her birthday was not something that she generally liked to celebrate, but knowing that her parents, siblings, and a few members of her extended family had orchestrated a trip to visit and celebrate with her had her counting down the days, especially after she had convinced her unofficial boyfriend to join them for dinner at one of the nicest wallet-friendly restaurants in Austin. Now, as she sat silently and watched as her friends laughed and cooed over possibly the most embarrassing photos of her while picking at their slices of birthday cake, her mind only wandered to where exactly he was, and how much more fun she would be having if she were warding him off of any of those photographs–especially all of the ones from her junior high years. 
She hadn’t had the chance to speak to him at all that day, having woken up after he had already left for work and dropped Sarah off at school. At the time, Y/n had smiled to herself, thanking him mentally for allowing her to sleep in on her birthday, though she was beginning to wonder if she should have taken the lack of birthday wishes as a sign. 
She actively avoided Stephanie’s gaze, wanting to escape the oncoming I told you so, and made as little eye contact as possible with her mother, who watched her sympathetically, and her father, who silently raged over the presence of the empty chair. Y/n now felt embarrassed over how much she’d actually gushed over the man to her family before dinner, wondering if maybe she was more invested in him than he was in her. After all, he had yet to officially ask her to be his girlfriend, despite the fact that she and Manny had taken up residence in his home at least four nights a week and that she had been included in more recent movie nights with him and Sarah. 
Maybe she was reading into it too much–something must have happened. Something happened to Sarah, or maybe Tommy had been locked up again. There was no way that Joel had forgotten her birthday, there was simply no way.
– – –
Joel’s feet ached, crying out in pain with every step and sighing in relief as he finally kicked off his heavy boots. The crew that he’d brought on for his most recent and highest paying job to date had given him hell that day, leaving him aching for nothing more than a hot shower and a peaceful night at home with his best girls. He hated having to tack on extra hours to his day, but not arriving home until after ten was something that he would have to deal with in order to finish the job, and he was hoping to save up to take Y/n and Sarah on a little getaway for a weekend in the near future. 
The kitchen was dim when he stepped in, and he was somewhat surprised when he discovered no plate of food left for him in the microwave, nor was there a pan of leftovers in the fridge. Instead, there was a single empty carton of a microwavable dinner on the counter along with an empty can of Pepsi. Not wanting to seem ungrateful, he shrugged it off, though he had grown accustomed to Y/n bringing dinner over and making sure that it was ready for him on days that he worked late. 
Soft footsteps rushed down the stairs, Sarah rounding the corner with a wide grin on her face as she held a small piece of paper in her hands. 
“Hey babygirl,” Joel kissed her head softly as he moved into the living room, even more confused when he did not find Y/n curled up on the couch with a stack of her textbooks, as she so often did while waiting for him to return. 
“Hi dad,” Sarah’s smile dropped, glancing back into the entryway in confusion, “Where’s Y/n? I made this card at school today but I figured I’d wait until after you guys came back to give it to her.”
The blood in Joel’s veins ran cold, his heart skipping a beat at the sudden realisation of why his house appeared to be so void of his girlfriend, “Fuck.”
“Dad?” Sarah’s wide eyes narrowed, all too used to her father’s undiagnosed case of short-term memory loss, though he had never ever forgotten something like this before.
“Shit,” He swore again, snatching his keys off of the counter and rushing to jam his feet back into his uncomfortable boots, “Sarah, go to bed. I’ll be back later tonight.”
The girl watched helplessly as her father raced out the door, tears welling in her eyes as she stared down at the happy picture she had pasted into the card and frowning as she feared the worst.
– – –
Joel arrived at the restaurant just before eleven. He knew it was a long shot, as the reservation was for seven-thirty, which he had purposefully written down and stuck to the fridge so that he would not forget. The few remaining staff inside shook their heads in pity at the man, quickly coming to understand his situation as he rushed inside, asking about the reservation with a bouquet of flowers in his grasp. 
His shoulders slumped as he parked in his driveway, trudging across the lawn into the neighbouring yard and knocking firmly on the door. He waited a few moments, cursing quietly as he got no response and knocking again. 
His frown deepened when the door swung open, a fuming Stephanie standing in his way. Her face burned scarlet, fists clenched at her side as she took in Joel’s pitiful appearance. She took a step forward, joining Joel on the front step and closing the door behind her. 
“The fuck do you want?” 
“Where’s Y/n?” He asked, ignoring her bluntness.
“She doesn’t wanna talk to you,” the girl sneered at him. “It’s one thing to stand someone up, even to forget their birthday, but to embarrass her like that in front of her family?” She scoffed, “you know, I warned her about you, but I took no pleasure in being right. You should have seen her tonight, barely spoke at all.”
The metaphorical knife in Joel’s gut twisted at her words, the fist clenching the bouquet tightening even further around the stems. He could picture her; all dolled up, chatting with her family as she eagerly awaited his arrival, her pretty smile dampening as time passed and eventual tears in her eyes as she realised the truth–he had forgotten about her. 
“Just let me talk to her,” he begged, “Please.”
Stephanie shook her head, “I think it’s best if you never show your face on my property again, Miller.”
“Joel?” Both of their eyes turned at the sound of Y/n’s voice, finding her peeking around the door curiously. “Steph, can you give us a minute?”
The woman sent Joel one final glare, patting her roommate on the shoulder before slipping back into the house. 
If the knowledge of what he’d done hadn’t been enough, Y/n’s appearance was the final blow to his gut. Her eyes were bloodshot, cheeks swollen and marked with visible remnants of tears. She wrung her fingers together anxiously, keeping her gaze lowered in shame as she closed the door behind her and turned to face him.
“Baby–” 
“Don’t.” Y/n interrupted, “Just explain.”
He sniffled, “I can’t explain it, or excuse it. We got held up at work, and I really need this job to be done and over with already. I’m so sorry, baby.”
She shook her head, lifting her sleeve to wipe at the underside of her nose, “You didn’t even say goodbye before you left this morning. Did you even remember at all?”
Joel bit his lip, “I’m sorry. Let me–”
“Joel,” Her voice cracked, “I love you.” His heart soared as she spoke those words for the first time, then shattered as she continued, “I understand that I’m not your first priority–that’ll always be Sarah and I can’t blame you for that. But, fuck, you suggested the restaurant, Joel. You spoke to my mom over the phone and promised her the best steak in town, and she sure seemed to like it, but you weren’t even there. I won’t ever be your first priority, but I can’t be your last, either.”
“Y/n–”
“I think my cousins liked it, you know.” She continued, wiping at her cheeks, “They’re the type to pray for your downfall, and I’m sure they were loving every second of the dinner once everyone realised that you weren’t coming. Hell, all I did all night was talk about how amazing you were, and then–” Y/n cut herself off with a quiet sob.  “You should probably leave.” 
“Don’t do this,” Joel cupped her face, dropping the flowers to the deck recklessly as he wiped the tears away from her cheeks with his thumbs, “Tell me what to do. Hit me, yell at me, do something, but don’t ask me to walk away.”
She looked into his eyes, and for a moment, Joel felt hopeful that she might actually listen to him, though all hope was quickly diminished as he removed herself from his grasp, reaffirming her statement as she stepped back into the house.
“You should probably leave.”
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blainesebastian · 9 months
Text
cold hands, warm heart
words: 2,883 ship: austin butler x reader summary: Austin looks back at the car and you’re cold now, snow seeping into crevices from your tumble. “Why does everythin’ have to be a struggle with you?” “Just lucky I guess,” You toss back. warnings: NSFW notes: a bit of bratty!austin, basically just wanted to write about snow and a variety of angst prompts. I used 3, an adapted 11, and 15 from this list. tag list: @killerqueenfan, @austinbutlermischief , @elizabethrosecresswell, @gigisworldsstuff, @stylespresleyhearted
It’s winter quiet, the kind that becomes its own type of sound when it settles around you and seeps into your bones. It’s your favorite part of the year, when it snows, the cold nipping at the tips of your fingers and biting at your nose. You prefer this weather so much over the sweaty stickiness of summer and know that plenty of people would call you crazy for that. But this is where the bundled sweaters come in, the anticipation of holidays, fireplaces crackling, icicles and snow. You’ve always loved the snow.
At least, you loved it when you weren’t stuck in it.
You tilt your head a little, as if that attempt will allow you to see out and around the hood of the car that’s popped. Austin’s behind it, checking the engine, even though you’re sure he has no idea what he’s looking at any more than you do. You snuggle down into your seat, your breath beginning to puff gently in front of you as the heat in the car slowly dissipates.
Glancing out the passenger window, you watch as snow falls in big, thick flakes.
As much as you want to blame Austin for all of this, you know it’s not entirely his fault.
Here’s the thing—it’s not like you didn’t know what you signed up for. Austin’s always been a flirt, he comes by it honestly, a typical Leo man. You’ve made jokes about it to your friends and family. But at the same time? You make comments like that because you know Austin is a decent man, he wouldn’t intentionally hurt you and despite gossip mongrels, you don’t think he’s a cheater.
But flirting? Absolutely within his wheelhouse, as easy as breathing, practically automatic when you’ve got him in a larger crowd. This is an innate power you think he’s learned to use if needed, that a well-placed smile or a kind gesture can open plenty of doors.
You don’t think Austin is manipulative, but rather, so genuinely captivating that it knocks people’s defenses right down. And because it’s so natural, Austin just brushes over when it’s thrown right back to him.
It’s taken you a long time to realize that your friend, Marcy, is not as genuine as she should be—especially when she spends half of this party that you’re at flirting with your boyfriend.
What aggravates you more is that Austin completely ignores it—either he doesn’t realize it or it doesn’t bother him enough to say anything.
Deep down, you know he probably doesn’t think much of it, that it doesn’t merit causing a scene when it means nothing to him, when he’s with you. But that’s not how things feel and you can’t stand the look on your friend’s face, that it seems like she’s getting away with something. Like she actually has a shot with your boyfriend.
Grabbing your coat, you abruptly decide you’re leaving, the front door closing all the way before Austin realizes you’ve disappeared from the party. He grabs his coat too, haphazardly closing the door as you adjust your beanie, making sure your scarf is covering your neck and tugging your gloves on.
“Y/N.”
You let out a huff, “Save it.”
Probably a bit harsh but you’re feeling particularly raw, deciding that the weather has let up enough that you can walk home. It’s just a few blocks anyways, fresh snowfall but nothing that should be too icy? Safer than the roads, you think. You’re not sure if it’s going to snow any more tonight, not too cold.
“What are you doing?”
You motion to the sidewalk, finishing buttoning your coat and stuffing your hands into your pockets, “Baking a cake,” You snap, “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m walking home before I say something I’m gonna regret.”
You begin walking and you think the conversation might be finished…at least until you both get back to your place. But you suppose you should know better, you do know Austin better, because you hear the car engine start and suddenly he’s driving up alongside you.
He slows the pace, rolling down the window so he can talk to you, “C’mon, it’s freezing—get in the car.”
“Why don’t you go see if Marcy needs a ride home?” Seems you’re going with petty tonight on the menu.
“This wouldn’t even be a problem if you wouldn’t insist on makin’ it one.”
You scoff out a laugh because really? Shaking your head, you don’t waste your time with a response. The car engine stops and you almost look over your shoulder to see if Austin is heading back to the party, but instead move forward along the sidewalk towards your destination. And then suddenly, your boyfriend is in front of you, crouching down to pick you up, throwing you over his shoulder.
“Oh my god,” You struggle, “Put me down! Austin!”
This is so ridiculous and if you weren’t so pissed off, this situation might actually be comical to you. Austin’s tall, this is easy for him, and it’s nothing he hasn’t done before. He thinks that this is some sort of plan— putting you in the car like the baby you’re pouting as. There have been plenty of times when he’s had you in his arms and you’ve enjoyed it.
This is not one of them.
“Austin I am so serious—”
“Just get in the car, I’m not letting you walk home—”
You’re so mad that you don’t even think about your next move, you just dip your chin and bring your teeth together…biting his hand. Austin gasps, instantly losing his balance and ungracefully lets you go. You land in a big heap on top of a snow pile in the grass, winter getting to the soft skin of your wrists, neck, and under your coat. You sit up, a flutter of amusement in your chest because you feel like no one would believe you if you tried to talk about how this night was playing out.
“I can’t believe you fuckin’ bit me, are you serious?” Austin yells, definitely angrier than before and you can’t help but let out a sharp laugh,
“You dropped me.” You huff, attempting to move your hair out of your face with your gloved hands, “I told you to put me down.”
“And that means you bite me?” Austin asks around the same time someone comes out of the party, watching the both of you from the steps because you haven’t gotten very far—
“You two alright?”
Austin and you glance at one another, exhales leaving like puffed smoke in the air. He straightens his shoulders, shaking out his hand and you pull yourself up from the ground, attempting to brush snow off your clothes.
“Yeah,” You reply as he says, “Fine.”
The person on the steps does not seem overly convinced but they leave you alone, walking to their car.
Austin looks back at the car and you’re cold now, snow seeping into crevices from your tumble. “Why does everythin’ have to be a struggle with you?”
“Just lucky I guess,” You toss back, taking your beanie off as you stomp through the crunching ice to get into the passenger seat. No use walking home now.
Austin gets in the car and closes the door, turning the heat on as he begins to drive. He takes it slow, the road conditions not the best but it’s that part of the year where snow and ice take their turns on top of snowplows and salt trucks. As he clears a block, turning onto a small hill that leads down towards your place, thick white flakes begin to flutter down.
You let out a slow breath, looking out your window—you’ve always been fond of winter trees the best. Of course summer in full bloom is beautiful, and the colors of autumn are charming, but there’s always something about bare winter trees that hold intricate layers of snow that are breathtakingly striking.
A shiver courses down your spine and you go to reach for the heat dial but Austin’s hand is already moving, making sure that the vents are pointing in your direction. Admittedly, it melts not only the snow on your coat, but the ice you felt in your veins leaving the party.
Maybe you…overreacted a little, “I’m sorry.”
Austin glances over at you before keeping his eyes on the road, carefully making his way down the hill, “For biting me?”
A small smile tugs the corners of your mouth, “No.”
He scoffs but even in the darkness of the car you can see the corners of his lips tilt up—and then the car skids. It’s not too fast, not completely out of control, but you can tell Austin can’t stop the wheels from swerving a bit down the hill. You gasp as it gains a bit of momentum towards the bottom, the only thing stopping the vehicle is the guardrail blocking off a section of woods.
It’s a firm bump, enough for you to hear your heartbeat in your ears and feel it in your throat.
“You alright?” Austin asks, his hand coming up to touch the back of your head. You nod, “You sure?”
“Yeah—you?” He attempts to start the engine one, twice, but it stalls. Undoing his seatbelt before humming at your question, he opens the car door. “Where are you going? Let me just call triple A.”
But he’s really going to do the whole thing where he looks under the hood, like secret answers will be printed on machinery.
This is definitely both of your faults but you’re getting cold again.
You’ve seen plenty of horror movies that start out this way—stranded car near the woods, the dead of winter…you frown as you take a longer look out the window and watch the snow fall before opening up the door.
“C’mon let’s just walk, I’m freezing. We can send a tow truck for this in the morning.”
Austin sighs and zips up his coat like he’d rather not, but it’s a better option than messing around with the car’s engine while it continues to snow. You reach for his hand to help him step over an embankment of snow near the tire, looking down past the woods where the street opens up again. Only a five-minute walk, doable.
Austin winces a bit and you look down at your joined hands, a soft laugh slipping out of your lips, “Sorry, that your injured palm?”
“Can’t believe you drew blood.”
“I did not.” You snort, starting to walk with him. You help balance one another out so that there’s no slipping but the new falling snow definitely doesn’t help. For once you’re incredibly thankful that you went with winter boots instead of something fashionable for that disaster of a party.
It’s quiet for a short while as you get to the bottom of the hill and find your footing, making your way to the sidewalk so that you’re off the road. You continue to hold hands, even gloved you’re able to run your finger along his knuckles. He squeezes, a silent communication between you both.
Luckily, it doesn’t take too long to get back to your place, taking your keys out of your pocket to quickly unlock the front door. You shake off the cold the best you can, both you and Austin moving inside and to the living room.
“Good thing I got this thing fixed,” You shiver, toeing off your boots and turning the fireplace on. It takes a moment before it flickers to life, licking at panels of wood.
You slowly take off your gloves and scarf, sniffling, your fingers shaking as you attempt to undo your coat as well. Austin comes up beside you, adjusts the fireplace setting so it’s a bit higher, more heat. He then turns to look at you, a soft smile on his handsome face.
There are still snowflakes in his hair, melting as you reach up and touch some of the strands.
“You’re shakin’,” He murmurs, helping you undo your coat, sliding it off. He carries it to the front door to hang it up to dry, coming back in. He reaches for you, running his hands along the shoulders of your sweater which feels kinda damp. No doubt from falling off his shoulder and into the snow. “Want me to make you some tea or somethin’?”
You shake your head, sniffling again, “No, it’s okay—I’ll warm up.”
Austin hums lightly, hands moving against your arms now, “I can help with that.” He watches you for a long moment, fingering a strand of hair behind your ear. He takes in a soft breath, his thumb brushing over your lower lip, “M’sorry about before, about your friend.”
You let out a soft noise that kind of sounds like a strangled chuckle, “You’re just sayin’ that because you want to kiss me.” A tiny bit of a joke, you do hear the genuine inflection in Austin’s tone.
He smiles, “Possibly.” He paints his lips over your forehead and your eyes flutter closed. Austin draws his thumb along your jawline, his other resting on your waist, “I mostly just ignore her when she’s like that,” Which is…something you considered, “But I didn’t realize it bothered you.”
“It does bother me,” You tilt your chin to look up at him. And you realize this is a conversation you really need to have with your friend, since she’s the one who always starts this mess in the first place.
Austin nods, “Won’t happen again, promise.”
And even though you want to pout, you can’t quite do it standing in front of him, the shadows from the fire flickering on the strong lines of his face. You lick your lips, looking down at his, before kissing him.
“Still want to help warm me up?”
Austin smirks against your mouth, his hands slipping up and under your shirt.
It doesn’t take very long to lose layers of clothing, Austin moving towards the couch to grab a few pillows, blankets, tossing them on the floor in front of the fireplace. Very Hallmark channel; makes you laugh, and he wraps his arms around your waist and presses kisses along your shoulders, your breasts, down your sternum and stomach.
A fluttering heat begins in the center of your body, spreading thick and heavy like molasses, a tingling that pulls down.
You run your hand through his hair and suddenly Austin picks you up just enough to lie you down on the floor,
“What is it with you pickin’ me up today?”
Austin settles between your legs, grinning, “Don’t act like you don’t like it.”
The heat of his body along your inner thighs drives you a little crazy and instead of dignifying that comment with a response, you lean up and kiss him instead. You slide your hand between your bodies, reaching for him, wrapping your hand around his length. Austin lets out a slow moan or a sigh, his head falling to rest in the crook of your neck.
You turn your head, pressing a kiss to his jawline, relishing in the way he sounds as you move your hand, make him hard.
Austin slides your thighs further apart with his one leg and god, you’re wet already, his own fingers slipping inside of you so easily that it makes you squirm. He works you open, until your legs are trembling for a completely different reason that has nothing to do with the cold.
“Now,” You whisper, “Please, now.”
Austin smiles against your skin, kissing you, tongue slipping between your lips as he slides into you. You hike your leg up, giving yourself a bit of an angle, having him go deeper as he moves. The movement is fluid, your fingers digging into the skin of his back, all that pressure building inside and pulsing out. Your head tips back when you cum, dragging your body a bit against the carpet but…you don’t even care, feels so good, even when Austin has to quicken his pace to finish.
You squeeze your eyes shut, feeling a bit sensitive, closing your legs a bit tightly as he shifts. It’s around his body but he doesn’t seem to mind.
“Sorry,” He brushes that apology on your shoulder, a few kisses.
Austin is silent as he eventually gets up and even with your eyes closed, you know where he’s headed. He comes back with a warm washcloth, cleans you up, cleans himself up, pressing his lips where he can reach on heated skin.
“Think I have a brush burn on the back of my shoulder,” You let out a soft laugh, Austin shifting slightly. You follow through with his movement, leaning up so that he can pull the blanket where it needs to be. You rest easier on top of it, smiling up at him.
He grabs another blanket from a nearby chair, comfortably settling next to you, raking his fingers through your hair.
“Much warmer now, right?”
You hum, satisfied, sleepy— “Much. Would keep checking on that though, just in case.”
Austin smirks, stretching his arm across your stomach, the fire crackling as snow continues to fall outside, “That can definitely be arranged.”
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wakabahan · 1 year
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intermission - The News at This Hour
"Once again, our top story is the Sapporo shooting incident early yesterday morning. This morning the Hokkaido Police released the information on the victim -- A senior member of the Tojo Clan, an organized crime group based in Kanto...His name was Goro Majima.
Details were announced at a hastily-called press conference.
Given the victim's status as a high-ranking member of Kanto's largest underworld group...Hokkaido Police are assigning all available resources to investigate Goro Majima's death.
They plan to work together with Metropolitan Police to get to the bottom of the incident.
That's it for the news this hour."
In Nagano, a blaring car horn permeated the area as an Osakkan detective walked off from the taxi. His face blank, unfazed by the piercing forlorn sound. No sympathy for the sound that represented the frustration and anger of the vehicle's driver.
Still another four hours out from Osaka, just now going through Hiroshima he sat in the back seat of a jet black luxury car. Listening to the radio broadcast he stared at the recent addition to his contacts.
His dark brown eyes somber as he focused on the characters of her name. The back and forth of should he call her or not. Would she be awake? Did she even pay attention to the news? Would it be better to find out from her family? Was it acceptable for it to be him?
Three sixteen year olds ran down the streets of Sotenbori. The youngest; usually the hub of information and current events was unaware. The swish of her long pleated skirt, a blur of pink suggested they'd make it there faster if they cut through the Donki. Her heart finally healed from the loss of her father, she was able to wear a bright smile.
The in-between in a striped sweater, ponytail bouncing as she ran; was late for practice. She had stayed up late to be with friends against her manager's strict rules. Her heart at this moment was light, but alone it weighed heavily. Missing those she was far away from.
The oldest of the three with mischievous eyes was enjoying the rush as they pounded the pavement of Shofukucho, hanging a sharp right to reach Dyna Chair. She knew loss, but nothing close to what was to come. She pushed her sweaty damp fringe from her forehead as she gave a ragged laugh at their own expense. The sun caught the onyx earring that dangled from her ear, adding an impressive touch to her strong stance.
From the window of the top floor of Dyna Chair, someone hoped the three would be spared the news. That their happiness would continue for just a little while longer.
"That's it for the news at this hour."
Long hair unkempt from sleep covered her like a blanket. Lips parted slightly as she stared at the tv screen. Eyes dull and unblinking as tears spilled down the face she was given by the man the news claimed was now dead.
The broadcast moved on seamlessly to the weather with a stout little man and too large glasses. Her cellphone rang. She ignored it as she gawked at the weatherman's thinning crown.
The cellular continued to ring. Mechanically she turned bodily to the nightstand. A single blink, freeing the tears caught on her lashes. Leaning over her long fingers clasps around the metallic green phone. The little baseball charm with wiggly arms and legs clacked against the hard plastic.
The preview screen flashed his name. A bloom of affection burst in her chest that twisted with the overwhelming sadness inside her. She clutched her phone to her chest as her head fell. Mouth open to free a sob that was trapped in her throat. Her thumb slid between the phone and hit receive.
Putting the phone to her ear she waited for him to speak, her own voice missing. Her silence let him know she had in fact heard the news. That voice that was inexplicably both gruff and soft broke her.
"Are ya with someone or by yerself?"
All she could do was hiccup as sobs racked through her. Putting a hand over her face to try and deafen them. In the end she couldn't speak.
"Wakaba?"
The phone snapped closed. And hit the unmade bed with a soft whump.
"That's it for the news at this hour."
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i-feel-supernatural · 2 years
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Baker | Daniel Brühl ~ One Shot • Reader x Daniel Brühl
The cool weather finally pushed the hot summer away. I hoped that the cool weather would stay, but I figured that wouldn't be likely. Mostly because it was still August. But I tried my best to make the most out of the fall like temperatures. I was so looking forward to sweater weather. I decided to go to my favorite bakery. I hadn't been there in a while due to my busy schedule. But today I decided to treat myself to a good cup of coffee and some kind of pastry.
When I walked inside I was surprised at how busy it was. The cashiers were working overtime and the supplies were getting low. "Wow, you guys seem like you're having a very busy day." I said over the chatter of customers. "Busy? It's been down right chaotic. The new baker we hired to help didn't show up." One of the girls said. "How many loves of bread do we have left?" Daniel asked as he came out of the kitchen. He had flower on his cheek as well as chocolate and jams on his apron.
I felt myself blush when I saw him. I've secretly have had a crush on him for a while. "Y/n! I haven't seen you for a while. I'm afraid that I'm all sold out of chocolate croissants at the moment. But I have a fresh batch baking in the oven." He said with a look that said he was sorry. "That's okay. You've been having a very busy day." I said with a look of sympathy. I love his cute German accent, and hoped that I wasn't blushing much.
"Hey, can you bake? I could really use some help." He said after a moment of observing what he was sold out of. "Um, yeah. But I don't think I can bake as good as you though." I said with a shy laugh. "Oh, come on. I can teach you." He said as he motioned for me to follow him. I hesitated for a moment before following him to the kitchen. It was warm in there from the ovens. The place looked like a tornado had been through there. Flour was practically everywhere.
I took my jacket off and rolled up my sleeves. Then he started showing me how to bake his amazing bread. I hoped that I was doing everything right and that the bread turned out. As I helped, he accidently tossed some flower at me. "Hey!" I said with a giggle as I tossed a little flower at him. A big beautiful smile spread across his face. We had a little flour war before he wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me into a big hug, and I melted instantly.
He smelled sweet just like his pastries, and his arms felt so strong around me. I guess he would have to have strong arms to lift those huge sacks of flour and sugar. It took everything in me not to snuggle closer into his chest. "We... we should probably get back to work." He said with a soft laugh. We slowly broke the hug and I blushed when we made eye contact. Eventually we were caught up with all of the orders. We collapsed into chairs in the back. Slightly sweaty and covered in flour.
But I had a wonderful time baking with him. I wished I could do this with him every day. One of the cashiers brought me back a pumpkin spice coffee. I thanked her and sipped it, savoring the delicious coffee. A few moments passed and Daniel handed me a freshly bakes chocolate croissant. "Here, this is for helping me today. I really appreciate it." He said with a cute smile. "Thanks but... you don't have to do that." I said shyly. "It's okay. I want to." He said.
The two of us ate out croissants and drank coffee. We made small talk too. I could just imagine baking things with him every day and having a lovely peaceful life. But I was too shy to tell him how I feel. I was afraid that he wouldn't feel the same way. Especially since he's so handsome. He gave me six free chocolate croissants and a loaf of bread. He often gave me free bread and pastries. But I never really thought anything of it.
"Hey um... maybe you could be my baking buddy. You're really good at baking." He said with a light blush on his face. "Well, that's because I had a wonderful teacher." I said, and his blush darkened. "I mean it. I would love being able to bake with you." He said softly, and I got butterflies. I told him that I would think about it. He gave me his phone number in case I decided to take him up on his offer. I had been looking for a less stressful job.
When I got home I decided to call Daniel and accept his offer. I kept smiling as I thought about my day with him. He was so sweet and playful, just like I imagined he would be. I hoped that I would be able to confess my feelings for him someday.
++++++++++++++
A/N: Thanks for reading!! Check out more Daniel Brühl + Daniel Brühl character One-Shots here:
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missywritesfor7 · 7 months
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🌺 Promise Flower | PJM 🌺
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Synopsis: Jimin is a popular dance student and the best one at his university. Mina is a photography student and has known Jimin since high school. An idea for a photo project finds Mina getting closer to him than she ever has before. She learns how big his heart is, but also learns how closely he guards it. Every time she thinks he'll let her in, he pulls away again. Is it even worth the trouble?
Pairing: college student!Jimin x fem!oc
Warnings: depression, anxiety, panic attacks, alcoholism
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|| Ch. 15: Bright Light ||
I feel like I’m in a dream. More like a fever dream. My entire body is burning up and I start to think something is wrong with me. No way I’m still feeling the effects of that one drink, am I?
I open my eyes to darkness taking a moment to remember where I am. My phone is still in my back pocket, and when I look at it I see that its 2:13 am. Jimin is still sound asleep next to me.
I start to realize I’m probably so hot because I fell asleep in this sweater dress that I never wear. It’s nice and cozy for the cooler weather, but it’s miserable to sleep in.
After laying there for a moment I decide to just take the thing off. I might have a heat stroke if I don’t. I feel much better and less sweaty and fall right back to sleep.
It feels like I was only asleep for about 10 minutes, but when I open my eyes again the sun is shining through the window. When my vision clears I meet eyes with Jimin who’s looking at me with a sweet smile.
“Morning,” he says moving a few locks of my wild hair from in front of my face.
“Morning,” I smile. “How’d you sleep?”
“Better than ever.” He places a hand on my hip and pulls me in a little closer to him. His eyes travel up and down my body and lands back on my face. “What happened to your sweater?”
“I was burning up in the night so I took it off so I wouldn’t sweat to death,” I chuckle.
“Sorry,” he says shyly. “I can turn the fan on.”
“No it’s ok, you don’t need to do that. I’m just going to get hot again being next to you, and that’s fine with me.” I snuggle as close as I can to him and place a soft kiss on the tip of his nose.
“I guess I’ll be staying in bed all day then.” He smiles and holds me tight making me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
“What about breakfast?”
“I have you for breakfast.”
“Oh my god,” I laugh giving him a quick peck on the lips. “That was so cheesy, but you’re so cute.”
“Whatever makes you smile,” he says returning my kiss.
What makes me smile is every part of him, and maybe I’m a bit greedy. When he pulls back I chase his lips for more showing him just how hungry I am. As cheesy as his little line was, he’s right, I have him for breakfast and that’s all I need.
No cereal, oatmeal, eggs, or bacon, just him. Tasting so sweet against my taste buds. I don’t need coffee because his touch does much more for me than a cup of caffeine.
I haven’t felt this feeling before. The feeling of wanting to give everything I have to someone. The feeling of security from being in the arms of someone I truly believe won’t take me for granted. I want to give him all of me.
I find myself rolling on top of him and straddling his waist. I can’t stop tasting him, I want to explore every corner of his mouth until it’s committed to memory. The feeling of his hands on my bare skin sliding up my back gives me a feeling of euphoria that I wish I could hold on to forever.
A loud crash coming from the kitchen startles us both out of our blissful fog. I hide my face in Jimin’s neck and he gasps before chuckling.
“I guess Hoseok is trying to make breakfast,” Jimin whispers with a giggle.
“Does he have to scare the entire neighborhood to do it?” I ask laughing into his neck.
Just as I say that another crash comes from the kitchen. We both chuckle into each other before deciding to go help Hoseok with whatever he seems to be having trouble with.
“I should probably put a shirt on first, huh?” I say remembering that my sweater is tossed somewhere on the floor.
“Yeah, maybe.”
“Can I have this one?” I smile sitting up in his lap and tugging at the hem of the shirt he’s wearing.
“You can have whatever you want,” he smiles.
“Be careful, I’ll walk out of here with everything,” I laugh while boldly pulling his shirt over his head and slipping it over my frame.
“Aisshhh!!” Hoseok yells from the kitchen.
“Let’s go before he hurts himself,” Jimin laughs.
We both roll out of the bed and emerge from Jimin’s room to find Hoseok in the kitchen looking completely frazzled.
“Morning,” I say stepping into the kitchen. “You sound like you need some help.”
“Mina!” Hoseok says a bit startled. He takes a look at me wearing Jimin’s shirt, then turns to Jimin who’s standing there shirtless and raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you were here. Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s ok,” I smile. “We were already awake.”
“What are you doing?” Jimin asks.
“Trying to make breakfast,” Hoseok responds.
“Were you fighting with it?”
“Shut up,” Hoseok chuckles. “I wanted to try making French toast, but it’s not working out as well as I hoped.” He gestures towards the counter where he has a bowl of egg mixture and some bits of bread swimming in it.
We all have a laugh at Hoseok’s cute mess. We pitch in to help him out and save his sinking culinary ship. He breathes a sigh of relief and thanks us for our assistance.
I put Jimin and Hoseok on prep duty and I take over the stove. Out of the three of us it seems I have the most cooking knowledge which is a bit surprising because I don’t cook all that often. Then again my roommate is Jin and I’m almost convinced he’s had some formal culinary training at some point. I guess I’ve picked up some know how from him.
We work great together with our breakfast assembly line. They get all of the bread ready as I continue cooking them in batches on the inconveniently small pan. Hoseok then turns his attention to cutting up some fruit, and Jimin prepares the last of the eggs to be scrambled once I’m done with the toast.
“When did you get home last night?” Jimin asks Hoseok as we’re all focused on our individual tasks.
“After midnight? Something like that,” Hoseok says with much uncertainty.
“Why do you sound so unsure?” I chuckled.
“You did it again, didn’t you?”
“No,” Hoseok replies trying to hide his face.
“Did what?” I ask wanting in on the secret.
“Nothing,” Hoseok says quickly.
“He let his crew get him drunk again,” Jimin laughs. “What happened this time?”
“Nothing we just played some games.”
“Was it another scary game?”
“They said it was supposed to be fun!!”
“Hoseok are you telling me you’re afraid of some little scary games?” I ask laughing at how red his face is. I had no idea he was such a chicken.
“That wasn’t a normal scary game!”
“That’s what you always say,” Jimin laughs.
“Pay attention to the food, will you?” Hoseok says waving us off and trying to keep his face hidden.
We continue laughing at his expense and I pull the last piece of toast from the pan. I grab a few paper towels to wipe out the pan, because for some reason these guys only own one pan. They are unbelievable.
As I’m wiping the pan out my hand slips and makes contact with the incredibly hot bottom. I’ve burned myself many times before so it’s not the worst I’ve felt, but I still yelp loudly in pain holding the base of my palm where it made contact with the pan.
It takes a moment for my senses to return to me and remind me that I should run cold water on it, but once I make that realization Jimin has already rushed me over to the sink and is holding my hand under the faucet.
“Are you ok?” He asks with much concern.
“Yeah I’ll be fine. Just stings a bit.” I wince as the cool water continues running over my red palm.
“Keep it under the water a few more minutes. I’ll get some bandages to wrap it in.” He leaves the kitchen and goes into his room.
“I’m fine, really,” I say to Hoseok who’s looking at me wide eyed as if he just watched me turn into a ghost right before his eyes.
“Good. If you say so,” he says with a sigh of relief.
“I am,” I chuckle. “I’ve burned myself worse doing my hair. Doesn’t make this hurt much less though.”
“So…what were you two up to last night?” He asks with a whisper as if he trying to share a secret.
“We went out to eat with Tae and Taylor, then came back here and passed out. That’s pretty much it.”
“Tae and Taylor? So they really are together?”
“How do you know?”
“Taylor won’t shut up about him class,” Hoseok laughs. “When I asked them if they were together they turned red and didn’t give me a straight answer. So cute.”
“They are cute,” I laugh.
“Who’s that?” Jimin asks returning with a handful of ointment and bandages.
“TayTae,” I chuckle.
“And you two,” Hoseok says.
“Who two?” I ask.
“You two,” Hoseok laughs pointing at Jimin and I.
“You think we’re cute?” Jimin asks with a proud smile.
Hoseok playfully rolls his eyes. “You two weren’t…in the middle of anything were you? I didn’t interrupt…anything?” He asks chuckling nervously.
“You think I give it up after just one date?” Jimin asks while rubbing ointment on my hand. “What kind of person do you think I am?”
“Oh my god,” I say in embarrassment. “We weren’t doing anything.”
“Except making out.”
“Jimin!”
“Sorry,” he giggles while wrapping my hand in gauze.
“I don’t need to know anything else,” Hoseok chuckles. “I’m just glad you two are finally…whatever it is that you are.”
“She’s mine,” Jimin says proudly.
“Took long enough.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask.
“Go sit down,” Jimin says chuckling and guiding me out of the kitchen. “I’ll finish up.”
He gets me to have a seat on the couch and returns to the kitchen to finish off our breakfast. Once he’s done he and Hoseok join me on the couch with our plates.
Jimin insists on feeding me since my burn is on my dominant hand, he doesn’t want me to aggravate it by using a fork. I’m ok to use a fork, the burn is so minor I’ll likely forget about it in a couple of hours. Jimin isn’t convinced though. Hoseok has to scold him a bit before he finally lightens up and let’s me feed myself.
Jimin is quite protective, he keeps an eye on me as I finish my breakfast and takes my plate to the kitchen despite my legs not being impaired. Hoseok only laughs and retreats to his room once he’s done eating.
Jimin holds my hand rubbing it gently to soothe whatever pain he thinks I’m experiencing.
“I told you I’m fine,” I smile. “I probably won’t even feel it anymore soon.”
“Are you sure?” He asks with his bottom lip starting to poke out. “I just don’t want you to be hurt.”
“You’re such a sweetie. Yes I’m sure I’m ok. Don’t worry.”
“I just have to be sure,” he says lightly kissing my bandaged palm.
He’s sweet. Incredibly sweet. From keeping an eye on my hand regardless of how many times I say I’m ok, to keeping me well fed with snacks and goodies through the week as I stress study for finals.
It doesn’t take long before people on campus find out Jimin and I are together now. What I didn’t realize was that people had already thought we were together so it was no surprise to anyone.
Everyone is feeling the pressure as finals week begins, but we all planned to get together once it’s all over. Jimin and I, Hoseok, Namjoon, Jin, JK, and TayTae. Jimin also invited Yoongi, but I’m not expecting him to show, he’s nice but he’s also a bit of a hermit.
We’ll all be going our separate ways for the holidays so Saturday night is the one time we’ll be able to hangout before we all leave. Jimin’s brother was going to pick him up to take him home, but since we’re going to the same town anyway I offered to drive him home and save his brother the trip. Plus I’ll get 2 hours in the car with him before we split to spend time with our families.
I don’t want to seem clingy by wanting to see him while he’s with his family, but still he assured me that if I want to see him at any time I can call him whenever. I don’t want to get in the way but it’s still nice to know that I can see my boyfriend if I need an escape from my crazy family.
When Saturday comes we’re all relieved to be done with the semester. Jin offered up our apartment as the hangout spot for everyone since he’s such a gracious host. I just wish he had talked to me about it first. I don’t mind, I just don’t like having to clean up afterwards. Maybe I can beat him at a game of rock, paper, scissors and have him do all of the cleaning.
Everyone comes by bringing various drinks and foods for us to enjoy. To my surprise even Yoongi shows up with a bottle of whiskey. As it turns out that’s all he needs to come out of his shell and become the life of the party.
Tae is the DJ for the evening and it seems Yoongi enjoys just about every song that comes on. He dances and jokes around with everyone as his face gets more flushed as the night goes on.
I also learned that tipsy Hoseok is a bit quieter than sober Hoseok. For a moment I thought he was in another dimension until Jimin snuck up and scared him half to death, to the amusement of the rest of us.
Tipsy Taylor is stuck to Tae like their life depends on it, and Tae is loving every second of it. They’re in their own little world dancing across the floor and clearly no longer interested in keeping their relationship a secret from the rest of the world. Either that or they’re just comfortable enough with everyone here. Either way, I’m happy that they’re having a good time.
Tipsy Jin is the most entertaining. He’s already incredibly charismatic sober, but when he’s been drinking he’s 100 times more fun. The jokes flow out of him so easily and he always knows how to find a way to bring everyone to tears from laughing so hard.
It’s even more entertaining to see him and a tipsy JK playing random games and being chaotic together. Jin keeps trying to arm wrestle JK, who practices martial arts for fun, but Jin never plays fair. Always trying to distract JK or do something that’s clearly cheating by anyone’s standards.
Tipsy Namjoon is incredibly chill. He’s much less chaotic than everyone else here when he’s drinking. He simply enjoys his surroundings and laughs along with everyone else. The only difference is his tipsy volume is much louder. When he laughs it’s like the entire city can hear him. Not only that, but I think it’s funny that a lot of his laughter is thanks to Yoongi and his impromptu karaoke session, complete with choreography and air drumming.
Jimin doesn’t stray too far from my side. He’s very affectionate and playful when he’s drinking. More so than usual. Even with a little teasing from the others he doesn’t seem to care. His focus, and his hands, are on me the entire night and I’m loving every moment of it.
We party and have a great time well into the night until one by one everyone starts heading home. Since I’m driving Jimin home tomorrow he stays the night with me.
JK also stays the night sleeping on our couch. He and Jin will be around a couple of more days before going home so they’ll be working on a highlight reel for Jin. Seems JK has gotten a lot of footage of Jin acting as well as hosting various events. I don’t know if he’s trying to act in dramas or host variety shows, but either way he’s got plenty of experience.
The next morning Jimin helps me pack up some clothes and a few things I’ll be taking home with me that I don’t need crowding my tiny space in this apartment. It’s amazing how much stuff I accumulate over the course of a semester.
After packing my things and saying goodbye to Jin and JK I take Jimin back to his place so he can get his things packed. I’m surprised that Hoseok is awake when we get there, I was sure he’d probably still be asleep and hungover. He’s leaving later in the afternoon but wants to clean the entire place before he goes stating that he doesn’t like coming back to a messy home. I can’t blame him, but I’m way too lazy for all of that.
Once Jimin is all packed and ready to go we say goodbye to Hoseok and begin our two hour journey home. Jimin plays DJ and we sing our lungs out for nearly the entire trip. We laugh and snack on some goodies we brought along for the ride.
Having him in the car makes the drive so much more fun. Having him in my life makes my days so much more brighter.
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groupthedarzi · 8 months
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Luxury Fabrics: Elevating Your Style with Premium Suit Materials
In the world of men's fashion, nothing quite exudes sophistication and timeless elegance like a perfectly tailored suit. The secret to a suit that not only fits impeccably but also stands the test of time lies in the choice of fabric. Men's suit fabrics play a pivotal role in defining the overall quality, comfort, and style of your ensemble. When it comes to making a statement, opting for luxury fabrics is a choice that elevates your style to new heights. Join us on this sartorial journey as we explore the art of selecting the finest men's suit fabrics and delve into the world of the best men's suit tailors in Delhi.
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The Importance of Choosing the Right Fabric
Before delving into the realm of luxury fabrics, it's crucial to understand why your choice of fabric matters so much when crafting a suit. The fabric is the foundation upon which the entire suit is built, and it directly impacts factors like comfort, durability, and overall appearance.
Comfort: A well-chosen fabric will ensure that your suit feels comfortable throughout the day. It should breathe, allowing air to circulate, preventing you from feeling overheated or sweaty.
Durability: A high-quality fabric will make your suit last longer. It should resist wear and tear, maintain its shape, and resist wrinkles.
Appearance: The fabric's appearance is, of course, of paramount importance. It should drape beautifully, enhance your physique, and make you look effortlessly stylish.
Seasonality: Different fabrics are suitable for different seasons. Wool is great for winter, while linen and cotton are ideal for summer. A versatile wardrobe should encompass various fabric options to accommodate changing weather.
Now, let's dive into the world of luxury fabrics that can transform your suit into a sartorial masterpiece.
1. Super 150s and Above Wool
When it comes to luxury men's suit fabrics, high-quality wool is often at the top of the list. Fabrics with a Super rating, such as Super 150s, Super 160s, and beyond, indicate the fineness of the wool fibers used. The higher the Super number, the finer and softer the fabric.
These fabrics are not only incredibly comfortable but also exude a subtle sheen and a refined texture that sets them apart. They drape beautifully and are well-suited for formal occasions, making them a favorite among discerning gentlemen.
2. Cashmere
Cashmere, often associated with cozy winter sweaters, can also be a luxurious choice for suits. This fabric is incredibly soft, and lightweight, and provides exceptional warmth without the bulk of heavier materials. A cashmere suit is perfect for cold-weather elegance, and its smooth texture lends an air of sophistication to any outfit.
3. Silk
Silk suits are the epitome of opulence. While silk is not as durable as wool, it has a unique sheen and smoothness that make it ideal for special occasions and black-tie events. A silk suit can make a bold statement and is an excellent choice for those who want to stand out in a crowd.
4. Velvet
For those who crave extravagance, a velvet suit is a remarkable choice. Velvet, known for its soft pile and rich texture, exudes luxury and is often reserved for special evenings and red carpet events. A deep blue or black velvet suit can be the pinnacle of sophistication.
5. Linen
While linen may not be as traditionally associated with luxury as some other fabrics, it offers a distinct charm of its own. Linen suits are lightweight, breathable, and perfect for the scorching summers of Delhi. They have a relaxed, casual elegance that is perfect for warm-weather gatherings.
Finding the Best Men's Suit Tailors in Delhi
Now that you have a better understanding of luxury suit fabrics, it's essential to partner with the right tailor to bring your sartorial dreams to life. Delhi, with its rich tradition of tailoring, boasts some of the best men's suit tailors in India. Here are a few renowned names to consider:
Diwan Saheb: Established in 1957, Diwan Saheb is a legendary name in men's fashion in Delhi. They are known for their impeccable craftsmanship and attention to detail, making them a top choice for those seeking luxury suits.
Sandeep Soparrkar Design Studio: Specializing in bespoke menswear, Sandeep Soparrkar Design Studio offers a personalized experience for those looking for unique and stylish suits.
Study by Janak: Study by Janak is a premium men's fashion brand in Delhi that offers a wide range of luxury fabrics and custom tailoring services. They are known for their contemporary designs and commitment to quality.
Sachin's Men's World: With a reputation for excellence in tailoring, Sachin's Men's World provides a range of luxury fabrics and bespoke tailoring services to create suits that fit like a second skin.
Ved & Raj Couture: This boutique tailor shop in Delhi is known for its high-end bespoke suits. They offer a wide range of luxury fabrics and customization options to meet your unique style preferences.
When selecting a tailor, it's essential to consider your budget, style preferences, and the occasion for which you're getting the suit. Make sure to discuss your requirements thoroughly with the tailor to ensure they can bring your vision to life.
Conclusion
Luxury men's suit fabrics are the cornerstone of a well-dressed gentleman's wardrobe. They not only enhance your style but also provide comfort and durability. Whether you opt for the smooth elegance of Super 150s wool, the opulence of cashmere, or the bold statement of silk, your choice of fabric speaks volumes about your taste and sophistication. To truly elevate your style, pair these exquisite fabrics with the expertise of the best men's suit tailors in Delhi, and you'll have a suit that's truly a work of art, tailored to perfection.
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polefitnessdancing · 9 months
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theninjasanctuary · 10 months
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Things I've been up to: wrapping up work for the summer, which mostly amounts to procrastinating as hard as I can while work deadlines overwhelm me. But I also did a one-day work trip, which was pretty ok since I had a lot of free time and managed to visit the university botanical garden I'd never been to, whilst their peonies and irises were in full bloom, then attended the traditional roof terrace party at work on graduation day (nice relaxed mood, drinks and good conversations, talked to my boss about future plans, etc.). Then, it finally rained! For a day and not enough to undo the drought (lawns are scorched), but just about enough to have a small and carefully supervised bonfire for solstice celebration. And a nice little garden party in a small, mellow company to match.
As usual, urges to stock up on winter gear this time of year. Bought a vintage argyle Pringle sweater (nostalgic reasons, I had one in cashmere) and merino leggings from Sellpy. The sweater was very cheap, also pretty dirty (it's loose fit, so no sweaty armpits or anything, but the label at the back looked like there'd been dozens of wears without a wash), and it has a few small moth holes, which I'm about to repair (went to the fantastic fabric, etc. warehouse store to source yarn for this yesterday - also got 1 mm silicone thread and a few more semiprecious stone beads and made myself a bracelet, should go back to get silver-plated wire to make matching earrings). Thinking I might wash it once more after repairs.
Did I need it? No. Am I going to wear it? Occasionally, I guess (it's not as soft as some others I have, even though it's supposedly fancy super geelong wool). I really need to start listing some things for sale, because my wardrobe is making me feel a little overwhelmed, but guilty feelings over needing to get work done instead are holding me back. And I keep trying to patch up the insecurity with shopping for "useful things" like good, warm clothes.
Also placed a Momox order (warm Ecco boots - am still inexplicably into the "has horses" vibe -, sleeveless silk shirt to hopefully wear under cardigans, and a light Muji silk/cotton knit because I should know better, but don't). And repurchased a couple of things from The Ordinary, too. Mostly because it's clear we're not going to Japan this summer. Gonna aim for doing the sensible thing, saving up and going when flights are cheaper and it's not hellishly hot and humid. Might go to France instead, but nothing is certain yet. Still, it ought to be so much cheaper that it's probably not a problem.
Apart from too little rainfall (hopefully things will keep improving in this regard, there was some more rain yesterday), the weather has been somewhat less hot than in the last few summers, thankfully. The nighttime temperatures have stayed under 20° C, which means I can cool the apartment down even during the shortest midsummer nights, and thereby maintain a semblance of sanity.
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blahandwhatever · 11 months
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Seasonal wins and fails
1. Despite its ups and downs, last winter was largely better than others in recent memory - some of which featured overwork in December, and all of which featured too little stimulation most months. I really got on top of things stimulation-wise this time around, between Tumblr and television and games and more, plus I had more money and the furnishing/decorating to work on (though I didn’t get very far). Did a little better with physical activity. STILL never went for any walks in the snow but did make a bit of progress with getting out of the house before dark more often.
2. Spring was more satisfying than usual too. I did better than last year at finding and enjoying the flowers, which can be surprisingly tricky despite their abundance in streets I drive through, and probably went places more overall.
3. Recently spent a week searching very intensely for flowers for my balcony. I wanted to find the ones my mother got me at Lowe’s last year that did exceptionally well. Went to Lowe’s - they didn’t have them. Checked Home Depot and Menards - two different locations - and even, finally, Knupper’s Flower & Garden - still nothing. I could settle for something else, but I’d had so many failures, and I knew these specific ones worked and looked good. Ventured further to other locations in Vernon Hills, where I found one hanging planter in the right color in stock at Menards and one in stock at Lowe’s. The planters were different and thus not entirely the matching pair I’d have liked, but it seemed to be the best I could do. I’ve since revisited other locations and had no luck.
Meanwhile, I finally found some cute little planters for my balcony railing. It’s something I always wanted but never had before because there wasn’t much a selection - mostly colors and sizes that didn’t work well for my balcony. They were in stock at both Jewel and Menards, with a variety of flower types and colors, only a handful of which worked for me - this collection also took several expeditions to complete. Then there was the puzzle of how to actually hang them - most brackets were made for much bigger planters; others were ridiculously expensive and would’ve cost me twice as much per planter as the planter itself. I finally found some suitable ones for a decent price at Lowe’s. I worried they might be too flimsy and spent a lot of time fussing around trying to get the most stable possible configuration with the railing and the planters. So far things haven’t budged, so I guess they’re okay. As for how the actual flowers will do, I have no idea. So far they’re surviving, but it’s only been a few weeks. Some of them don’t need much sunlight. A couple need more, but I’m hoping sticking out from the balcony will help a little with that.
Things still don’t feel complete, but again I am limited by my budget. It’s still more flowers than I’ve ever had out there. Frankly I spent more money than I should have, but I wanted this so badly. Flowers in the spring and summer are feeling ever more essential to me.
4. I feel like this was the worst spring in terms of climate control at home. So many uncomfortable days, and they turned on the AC a little later than last year. It’s such a shame because 60s-70s spring weather should feel very nice, yet it can be so oppressive here - not to speak of the 80s days.
5. Didn’t wear all the nice outfits I’d hoped to. I have persistent trouble finding the kinds of jackets/sweaters I’d like to wear over things like dresses in spring weather - and my budget plummeted this spring. Last spring wasn’t any better in these regards. Also, given the above, it can be hard to even look good when I’m always getting sweaty and greasy-haired from heat and humidity at home.
6. The weather itself was relatively good, but now we’re in a rainless period that has me a little concerned. I’ve spotted fall leaves in some trees again.
7. ’Tis the season for bugs all over greens again! Every store, every brand, some more than others. Shit drives me crazy. Some days, I don’t feel like bothering with the miserable work of picking through the leaves and just have seaweed snacks or something instead. I’m trying to make frozen kale or spinach more often. I don’t know if there should be a difference between the fresh and frozen stuff, but I’ve never found bugs in the latter. Granted, I don’t inspect them as meticulously, but I do look over them a little.
8. So far, things haven’t been too bad in terms of bugs at home, but I’ve been finding little black beetles on my windowsill. They’re not the grossest thing I could be finding, but I hope I don’t have a big population growing in my plant or something.
The kitchen bugs have been relatively under control the past couple of years but never 100% gone. I don’t really find them on the counters or in/near food, but they have a weirdly persistent attraction to... shiny clear containers. Like the plastic silverware tray I originally found them in - there’s still always one or two in there, and I’ve long given up on storing my silverware in that drawer. Or a glass measuring cup in the bottom cabinet on the other side of the kitchen. Do these remind them of something in nature..? Do they think it’s water?
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ciyapaofficial · 1 year
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How Can Your Winter Hoodies Be A Savior For You?
Hoodies are warm clothing with long sleeves and a hood on the back of the garment, suitable for both men and women. Even if they are quite well-liked among young people, grownups should have at least one of the best winter hoodies in their closets. 
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By donning it, you can give off the impression of being hip and trendy, exactly like one who is up to date on the most recent streetwear fashion trends. Because of this, many of the most well-known clothing retailers worldwide have recently increased their inventory of hoodies. 
There are still some relatively new players in the game, like Ciyapa. We managed to rock this scene with comfortable fabric and a soothing feel in only a few months. You can buy hoodies online from Ciyapa at a very affordable price. 
To begin, warm hoodies for men can substitute for a sweater in terms of their ability to keep you warm. It is because it has long sleeves, and the fabric used for those sleeves is similar to the fabric used to manufacture garments intended to be worn during the colder seasons. 
The warmth may be directly proportional to the fabric's thickness and the material used to manufacture the hoodie. In most cases, you can learn this information just by touching the substance with your hands. If it starts to rain or snow, the hood in the back can shield you. 
But you should put only a little stock in it because it's made from the same fabric as the rest of the jacket, and if it's raining hard, it will become wet fairly quickly. The hood has a drawstring that may be pulled in or let out to the desired degree.
Major Features Of Winter Hoodies 
The warmth provided by winter hoodies is distributed evenly across the wearer's neck, body, and core, which helps to shield them from the adverse effects of wind and cold. Because of this heat-guarding characteristic, athletes love to wear hoodies for better performance. 
The feature helps keep muscles primed even after a warm-up workout. After an athletic performance, wearing a hoodie can make it easier for muscles to cool down. Hoodies can provide physical and psychological comfort, so they are useful for more than keeping you warm. 
The calming effect is more than just the sensation of warmth; even something as basic as hoodies for women worn over a tank top can help shield you from prying eyes. A hoodie may not only shield you from weather, but it can also shield you from germs and filth. 
Hoodies are a fashion staple that has earned their place in streetwear. On airplanes, trains, and other forms of public transportation — as well as wherever else that general grime is present — putting the hood of a hoodie over your head allows you to rest your head comfortably.
Benefits Of Buying Poly-Cotton Hoodies
Whether edgy or exquisite, the style of hoodies may build an ensemble in various ways, producing or perfecting a specific or unique look for someone. Review the five hoodie archetypes described in this article, which range from the dressiest to the most laid-back styles.
Polycotton material features amazing absorption capabilities that provide comfortable warmth without soaking you in perspiration. Unlike synthetic hoodies, it prevents you from becoming soaked in perspiration and body odor, easily making you feel sweaty. 
Hoodies made of polycotton can make you feel wonderful while also helping you control any unpleasant odors your body may produce. Also, there are several benefits of these stylish hoodies for men and women by Ciyapa, which are given below. 
Prevent Allergies
If you have sensitive skin, it is essential to wear hypoallergenic garments to prevent itching and irritation. Your skin will not experience any signs and symptoms of an allergic reaction when you wear a poly-cotton hoodie because of its softness and high breathability.
Provide Warmth 
Cotton and other innovative fabrics like bamboo can effectively regulate body temperature, keeping you comfortable and warm. As a result, wearing one of these hoodies will be an efficient way to ensure that you remain warm and comfortable during the winter months.
Environmental Support 
Cotton is a natural fiber that is ideal for use in producing apparel like hoodies. If you are looking for fresh and unique hoodies to add to your collection, think about poly cotton hoodies, which will look great and help you do your part to protect the environment.
When Should Hoodies Be Worn?
When it is chilly outside, warm hoodies for men or women are the ideal articles of clothing to put on. Hoodies constructed with a high percentage of cotton are the best option to wear when you need to stay warm. The thicker the cotton hoodie, the warmer it will make you feel.
Also, you need fewer layers of clothing to wear below it. Winter hoodies are another great piece of clothing to wear to an event that falls between a casual and formal setting. For instance, a get-together with your friends or family will be appropriate. 
You are not required to wear collared shirts underneath a hoodie if you attend a formal event. The most comfortable things to wear underneath hoodies are tops that do not have collars, such as plain t-shirts. Next, the hoodie is great when you want to relax and be lazy. 
It's the perfect garment for that. You can relax and unwind by taking a stroll through the park after coming home from work, donning a breathable hoodie, and putting on some comfortable walking shoes. If you are planning any such event, buy hoodies online from Ciyapa. 
Original Source: https://www.ciyapa.com/blog/post/how-can-your-winter-hoodies-be-a-savior-for-you
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dominguezkaplan · 1 year
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What sort of Winter Jacket In case you Get?
There are plenty of options to choose from winter coats. You can pick from down-filled jackets or synthetic insulation. You can also pick water-resistant outer shells. But, it is important to be aware of the cost before purchasing a winter jacket. This way, you'll be able to purchase one that fits your budget. Down It doesn't matter if you're looking for a casual everyday down winter coat, or perhaps a technical one, there are several excellent down jackets to choose from. The Silent Down is a great choice for casual, everyday wear. It has 700-fill power down as well as a luxurious polyester shell and a lining made of 70% recycled polyester. The insulation of the down is protected by a softshell material and the hood snaps to the collar when using it.
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To choose the right winter down jacket you must consider its fill power, which is a measurement of the down's loft as well as insulation. The greater the power of fill, the warmer it will feel. This also means that you will not require as much down in the jacket you are wearing. Synthetic insulation Using synthetic insulation in winter jackets comes with advantages and drawbacks. Synthetic down is lighter and has a higher weight-to-heat ratio, and doesn't require as much short-staple insulation. However, it can lose loft quickly. Synthetic down is composed of long synthetic fibers that curl to form loft. Synthetic insulation is usually more suitable for people who tend to get sweaty during cold weather. However, synthetic insulation should still be replaced every year or so. Many brands sell synthetic down, but the quality may differ. In this regard, it's recommended to stick with reputable brands. Water-resistant outer shells If you want a winter jacket that will keep you dry and warm, you need a water-resistant outer shell. These jackets are usually composed of synthetic materials like nylon or neoprene that is water-resistant. Furthermore, the material is treated with a polyurethane coating, making the material more resistant to rainfall. A water-resistant hard shell will limit the breathability of layered clothing, but it will safeguard your body from cold temperatures and heavy rain. They are perfect for multi-day excursions in the outdoors, where you need to pack light, breathable gear which can be dry for the night. Jackets stuffed with down Down-filled winter jackets are extremely comfortable and light The fabric used to fill them is typically made from down that is ethically procured and sustainable. Some companies use synthetic filling for greater toughness and reliability in wet weather. You should read the label on the jacket you buy to find out more about the down fill. The higher the power of filling of the down, the more easily it can compress. Premium down is particularly pliable that can compress to nearly impossible sizes and shapes. However, it will bounce back to its original size in only a couple of minutes. The compressive properties of down jackets are also impacted on the strength of the material. A fabric that is lighter will compress more slowly. Wool There are a lot of advantages to wool winter jackets, but it is important to know that the warmth it provides isn't all the reason. Wool coats are available in a range of styles and are priced affordably. Wool is a naturally water-resistant material, which makes it an ideal choice if you are in a humid climate. Wool jackets are perfect for the transitional seasons. They are warm and also look great, while also being more practical than heavy winter coat. They are also lightweight and can be worn over an oversized sweater or dress. find it here can even wear an oversized gilet in place of a full-length coat, If that's your preference.
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siegelgibbs · 1 year
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Which kind of Winter Jacket In case you Get?
There are a number of options for winter jackets. see more here can choose between down-filled jackets as well as synthetic insulation. There is also the option of waterproof outer shells. You should, however, be aware of the cost before purchasing the winter jacket. In this way you can find one that is within your budget. Down Whether you're looking for a casual everyday down coat or more sophisticated one, there are a variety of excellent down jackets to choose from. Silent Down is a great option. Silent Down is a great choice for casual, everyday wear. It has 700-fill power down and a gorgeous polyester shell and a lining of 70% recycled polyester. The insulation of the down is protected by a softshell material, and the hood zips into the collar when it is not using it. When choosing a winter down jacket, you need to consider its fill power which is a measure of the down's loft as well as insulation. The higher the fill power will be, the warmer your jacket is likely to be. It also means that you won't require as much down in the jacket you are wearing. Synthetic insulation
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Using synthetic insulation in winter jackets comes with advantages and drawbacks. Synthetic down is lighter and has a high warm-to-weight ratio, and does not require as much short-staple insulation. However, it can lose loft quickly. Synthetic down is usually composed of long synthetic fibers which curl up to create loft. Synthetic insulation is generally better for active people who are likely to be sweaty during cold weather. However, synthetic down should still be replaced once a year or as often. Many brands sell synthetic down, however the quality can vary. In this regard, it's best to choose reputable brands. Waterproof outer shells If you want a winter jacket that will keep you warm and dry you require a waterproof outer shell. These jackets are usually constructed from synthetic materials, like nylon or neoprene that repels water. Additionally, the fabric is coated with a polyurethane, making it more resistant to rain. A water-resistant, hard shell will hinder the breathability of layers of clothing, but it will shield your body from freezing temperatures and rain. They are ideal for long-distance outings, in which you'll require lightweight, breathable clothing that can dry overnight. Jackets stuffed with down Down-filled winter jackets are extremely comfortable and light and the fabric used to fill them is often made from natural down, which can be ethically sourced and sustainable. Certain companies employ synthetic filling for greater durability and wet weather reliability. You should read the label of the jacket you purchase to learn more about the down fill. The greater the fill power of down, the greater quickly it will compress. Premium down is very pliable that can compress to nearly impossible shapes and sizes. But it can bounce back to its original size in a couple of minutes. The compressive properties of down jackets are also affected on the strength of the material. A fabric that is lighter will compress less. Wool There are many benefits to wool winter jackets, however, it is important to know that the warmth they provide isn't the only one. Wool coats come in a variety of silhouettes and are reasonably priced. Wool is a naturally water-resistant material, so it's the best choice for those who live in a wet climate. Wool jackets are great for the transitional season. They will keep you warm and look great, while also being more practical than a heavy winter coat. They are also lightweight and can be worn over dresses or sweaters. You can even wear an oversized gilet in place of the full-length coat, depending on your preference.
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conradtempleton · 1 year
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What Type of Winter Jacket Should You Get?
There are plenty of alternatives to choose from winter coats. You can pick from synthetic or down-filled jackets. You can also pick water-resistant outer shells. You should, however, consider the price before buying a winter jacket. So you'll be able find one that is within your budget. Down
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If you're in search of an easy-going casual winter coat, or perhaps a technical one, there are a variety of fantastic down jackets on the market. The Silent Down is a great alternative for casual wear. It comes with 700-fill-power down as well as an exquisite polyester shell and a lining of 70% recycled polyester. The insulation in the down will be protected with a softshell fabric and the hood zips to the collar when using it. When choosing a winter jacket, you must consider its fill power which is a measure of the loft of the down and its insulation. The greater the power of fill, the warmer the jacket will be. This also implies that you don't require as much down in an individual jacket. Proteck'd EMF Clothing of synthetic insulation for winter jackets can have advantages as well as disadvantages. Synthetic down is lighter, has a high warm-to-weight ratio, and does not require more short-staple insulation. However, it can lose loft quickly. Synthetic down is typically composed of long synthetic fibers which curl up to create loft. Synthetic insulation is typically better for active people who are likely to be sweaty in cold temperatures. However, synthetic down should be replaced annually or as often. Many brands sell synthetic down, but the quality may differ. In this regard, it's a good idea to stick to trusted brands. Waterproof outer shells If you're looking for a winter jacket that will keep you warm and dry you will require a water-resistant outer shell. These jackets are usually made of synthetic material, like neoprene and nylon that repels water. Furthermore, the material is coated with a polyurethane that makes the material more resistant to rainfall. A water-resistant hard shell will restrict the airflow of layers of clothes but will protect your body from cold temperatures and rain. They are ideal for long-distance outdoor trips, where you'll require light, breathable clothes that will dry over night. Jackets stuffed with down The down-filled winter jackets are comfortable and light, and the material used to fill them is often made from natural down, which can be ethically harvested and sustainable. Some manufacturers use synthetic fill for added durability and wet weather reliability. It is recommended to read the labels on the jacket you purchase to know more about the fill. The higher the fill power of down, the greater easily it can compress. The best quality down is extremely flexible and can be compressed to nearly impossible shapes and sizes. But it can rebound to its original size within a few minutes. The compressive properties of down jackets are also impacted due to the weight of the garment. A lighter fabric will compress more slowly. Wool There are many benefits to wool winter jackets, but you should know that the warmth they provide isn't the only one. Wool coats are available in variety of silhouettes and are affordable. Wool is a naturally water-resistant fabric, making it a good option if you live in a wet climate. Wool jackets are great for transitional months. They are warm and keep you looking good, while being more practical than heavy winter coat. They are also lightweight and can be worn underneath a dress or sweater. You can even wear an oversized gilet in place of an entire coat depending on your preference.
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toastytoaster22 · 3 years
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COLD WEATHER TIPS FROM SOMEONE WHO LIVES WHERE IT’S COLD:
I always see posts about layering clothing, but there are so many more creative ways to help keep you warm if you don’t have a lot of warm clothes. But first, a note on layering clothing:
-Your underlayer is your WICKING layer. That means it is a layer specifically to absorb the moisture your body produces. DO NOT USE COTTON AS A BOTTOM LAYER. Use merino wool if possible, but other good substitutions are nylon, polyester and rayon. 
-Your middle layer is for insulation. You want AIR POCKETS in there, NOT tight fitting clothes. This is where you want to put your fluffy sweaters, your fleece, down, fur, flannel, or vests. If you do not have these, you can substitute with multiple layers of long sleeve shirts.
-Your outer layer is for keeping the cold away from your body. If you do not have a jacket, you can put on your thickest piece of clothing and then a raincoat over it. Windbreaker if you have one. 
ALSO
-Jeans are the absolute worst at holding heat. Use only as a last resort. 
-You can’t really ever have too many layers on your feet. Alternate tucking your layers of pants into your layers of socks to keep your ankles warm!
-Wear a hat OVER a hood if it will fit! This will keep your ears warmest.
TAKE OFF/OUT ANY AND ALL JEWELERY/PIERCINGS
-If you have a medical bracelet, DO NOT REMOVE IT. If you can, tuck a layer of clothes between it and your skin.
NON-CLOTHING TIPS:
-Raid your recycling. Gather all cardboard boxes and break them down so that they are flat. Put them on the floor to add more layers between you and the cooling house. Newspaper will also serve the same purpose.
-In an emergency, you can also layer newspaper between clothing layers. Don’t worry about looking stupid if you’re staying warm.
-If you have a tent, set that sucker up in whatever room you have decided to stay in. Stay in it and keep it zipped shut as much as you can, but do NOT cover the vent at the top. You can put the rain fly up, but make sure there is circulating air for you to breathe.
-You are probably not going to feel very hungry at times. DO NOT STOP EATING OR DRINKING. Digestion produces a lot of body heat and the food will give your body energy to keep itself going.
-The best foods are heavy and full of carbs and proteins. Eat nuts, eggs, pasta, meats, and beans. If you are on a diet, now you’re not. If you’re vegetarian... bulk up on those pastas and nuts.
-Try not to sweat. If you are finding yourself getting damp, take off the outer layer just until you start to cool slightly. Then redress! Your bottom layer should dry quickly, and being wet is dangerous.
-On that note, STAY ACTIVE. You are probably going to want to hunker down and snuggle up, but that will make your muscles cramp. Every 15-20 minutes do something that gets you up and about. Walk circles in the room, do a couple jumping jacks, stretch, whatever. Just enough to move some blood around your body. Don’t get sweaty or out of breath, it’s just a little movement.
-CHAPSTICK. ON YOUR LIPS. ON YOUR NOSE. ON YOUR EARS. ON YOUR KNUCKLES. Don’t let your extremities get dry or cracked.
SIGNS OF HYPOTHERMIA:
-Uncontrollable shivering -Slurred speech -Confusion or memory loss -Dizziness or lack of coordination -Inability to be woken from sleep
CHILDREN AND INFANTS!!!! I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH.
-Children WILL get colder before you. Make sure they are properly bundled up.
-If you need to breastfeed, put a blanket over the both of you and wait a few minutes for the air to warm before removing or shifting your clothing.
-DO NOT COVER AN INFANTS FACE. ESPECIALLY WHEN SLEEPING. Keep them tucked inside your own clothes when possible. As close to your heart and stomach as possible. 
-Put chapstick on children’s cheeks and clean their face often if they are crying or wiping at their nose. This will prevent cracked skin and irritation.
-Make sure your children are staying as hydrated as you! They are going to fuss and not want to drink cold things, but they NEED liquids.
SIGNS OF HYPOTHERMIA IN INFANTS AND TODDLERS ARE DIFFERENT:
-Shortness of breath  -Cold, red skin -Lethargy or listlessness
Finally:
CHECK ON YOUR NEIGHBORS. CHECK ON CHILDREN. CHECK ON THE ELDERLY. STAY SNUGGLED. STAY SAFE.
70K notes · View notes
mywritingonlyfans · 3 years
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Angst fic with Damiano David
prompt: a angsty about reader being sad (dami bff) 'cause damiano doesn't feel the same way romantically. ps. there's a lot of victoria de angelis being a angel in this fic, and it's basically about reader going through it.
warnings: none? it's just a bit sad and longer than usual.
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 All the soft touches still tingled all over your body. His scent was until now stuck to you, you never thought you’d feel happy to have woody essence along with cigarette smoke on you. 
 Folding the sleeve of his sweater, you put your tea in one of the cups you always use when you were there. His cotton piece was comfortable, making you didn't regret wearing it in the morning; it was cold and wearing your tank top from the night before didn't feel right. The shorts from yesterday, that were making your legs freeze were enough trouble for you to handle. The remnants of your clothes and belongings were collected from the floor of his room and placed carefully on his headboard, you made sure you were being quiet. Damiano has always been a heavy sleeper, but your counscious prevented you from risking disturbing him when he looks so peaceful. You had already spent much time at his place so you memorized where every thing in his kitchen - and others rooms - was; baking eggs and making tea wasn’t a mystery for you. You had even separated a Tylenol tablet for Damiano, so he could have it with his tea when he woke up with a wicked hangover. He wasn't the type to get drunk and forget what he did, nor were you. Since when you were teenagers, you have gone out and been drunk together a lot of times, and although your feelings were already present, nothing never happened. This time, however, alcohol helped injecting a dose of courage on him. Being honest with yourself, you didn't remember who started it; but the kiss in the midst of the loud music, his hand on the back of your neck, the exchanging glances while dancing and the moment he took you home, they were pretty vividly in your mind. You still felt relaxed, as if his sweaty body was still over yours. Minutes with your eyes closed was enough to feel his eyes roaming your body all over again.
“Hi,” he said in a slurred voice, cutting off your line of thoughts. You jumped, briefly scared but soon turned your attention to reality; a tired Damiano scratching his eyes in front of you.
He was dressed, wearing sweatpants and sweatshirt, duly comfortable according to the weather. 
 “Headache?” You knew he was. He was always a good drinker, he put up with it a lot, but he was never one to get rid of the effects of alcohol on the next day. You, on the other hand, got on better with this issue; fortunately from the night before, only the good moments remained with you.
“Yeah, a bit,” he giggled. “What a night, I’d say.” He added, in a lower tone. What was acceptable, you also felt a bit weird to be in front of him.
“I got you some pills,” you pointed it out to him on the counter, trying to maintain a normal behavior; with no shacking voice or sweaty hands. Quite impossible. “I made tea too.”
“Dear God, you’re a life saver!” He smiled at you, eyes crinkled and all of his perfect teeth on display. Contagious.
You grinned, feeling your body getting lighter. “No worries. I’m glad to help.”
“Y’know, when I woke up and saw that you weren't there I thought you were gone. You know? Friendship destroyed and that whole thing. I’m happy to see you; relieved.” He took a sip of his tea, and maybe a bit of your heart with it. You were an explosion of feeling when it comes to him, you always have been. “That sweater looks good on you, you can keep it if you want. You know that’s my fave one.” And, yeah, you knew.
The tension on you was no longer intense, comforting you to let out the breath you were holding. “It’s good to hear that,” Your genuine smile managed to say many things, you wished Damiano had noticed you earlier on other occasions. “Do you remember that one time, when we were younger, that you were a bit crazy about a girl; Alice was his name.” You stopped; in need of air - nervous - and watched Dami's attentive face. “She was the first person to whom you dedicated a song, you played it to her at school break. The cutest thing I had ever seen. I think it was there that I realized, a little jealous—“
“Y/N,” his voice had been almost inaudible, causing no effect. Had he really tried?
“How in love I was with you.”
His face was paler than usual, he was paralyzed; speechless. You had never seen Damiano like this, the men was always all over the place in a sweet talkative mess.
It took a few minutes for you to be able to read his expressions and realize how fucked up you were. The dose of happiness in your blood had been able to manipulate you to believe in what you most wanted to happen.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” your blood had gone up to your ears, all you could pay attention to was the pressure in your head. How had you thought that after one specific night he would suddenly decide that he was in love with you? After all of this time that you were just a good friend for him? “I’m truly sorry but I’m don’t—“
“Feel the same way?” You finished. He nodded, apprehensively. You have never felt so stupid. It was a mixture of shame, fear and insecurity. You were unable to look directly at him, you knew that there was no change in following a friendship after what you just said, much less after the night before. You had never been so screwed.
“I’m the one who should be apologizing, I shouldn’t have said a thing.” You whispered, realizing that the lump in your throat had turned into tears that you didn't even know were running down your face.
“Come here,” he opened his arms, walking towards your emotionless frame. You allowed yourself to melt in his grip. 
 Your tears fell freely; you could even try to hold it back but there was no strength left for you to think about it. Your crying was silent, as was the kitchen room. Your head was full of questions and cursing at yourself. Suddenly you wished Damiano had yelled at you, asked you to get out of there or said he wouldn't never speak to you again. It seemed easier to deal with it in this alternative way than to have him comforting you for loving him. “Shh, it’ll alright. I could never be mad at you.”
He talked about your friendship, but you knew that nothing would end up well. Maybe for him. But for you? It’d not be that easy. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I should have known better, you were so loving with me last night that I thought— Fuck, we slept together. Which I know isn’t your fault because I don’t even remember who—“
“Stop, Y/N. Look at me,” He was being careful. You were making a person like Damiano calculate his words, that made you feel like pure shit. You stopped talking, looking at him was still difficult. He understood that you wouldn’t be doing so. “That’s fine. I don’t feel bad about you liking me in that way, you’re wonderful. I don't regret anything, last night was great, but I just... don't feel the same. I’d never do anything to hurt you. I can't even imagine how hard it’s being for you right now.” His words sounded sweet and sincere. He had tears in his eyes as well. His ability to be so empathetic to everyone was something you loved the most about him. He was probably killing himself on the inside for breaking you.
You nodded, leaning on the counter. You wanted to ask him if he remembered that he was your first kiss at the age of seven or all the times he sent you vinyl records with some message - that he had written himself - inside the cover. How did he not feel the same, shouldn't you be everything he wanted?
“Dami?” You sighed. Your eyes were red, your face probably swollen. You then looked straight at him; that surprisingly wasn’t much better than you. “Have you ever looked at me and seen me in another way? Something more than just your best friend?”
He didn’t say a thing, just look at you standing there. You get it.
“I think I should go,” You broke the silence that had been formed. You thought about taking his sweater off, but since you weren't wearing anything underneath, you thought it was better not; you’d have to go to his room to change, and then pick up your things only to delay your leaving.
“I can drive you home,” he said in a hush, looking for his car keys.
“It’s okay, a walk will be fine.”
“It’s fucking freezing outside, I can't let you walk over there like that.”
You ignored what he said, walking around the house to the front exit. He tried to grab your arm just for you to step back.
“I know you're just trying to help, but I need to be alone right now, without you near me.” You tried to say it in the most normal way possible, you didn't want to be mean, you only wanted to be fair to yourself.
“Sure.” It was the last thing you heard him say before you left, feeling the cold wind on your body. You didn't know if he had entered his house again or if he was watching you hug yourself as walking slowly to somewhere. You wouldn't dare to look back.
--------------------------------------------------------
“C’mon girl, get up here,” Upon hearing the husky, strong voice, you were relieved. 
 Victoria wasn’t wearing her usual jewelry and looked like she had just been woken up by force. You weren’t as close to her as you were with the other boys, however, you had never been so happy to see her.
You got in her car. “Thank you,”
“God, you look terrible. You’re fine?” You looked at your reflection in the rearview mirror and well, fine was definitely something you didn't look like.
“Dami asked you to come and get me?” Your throat was scratching, it was difficult to speak.
“Yeah,” she looked at you quickly, but due to your discomfort she backed off. More tears would come. “He didn't say why though, he just said he needed someone to come to you before you froze to death.” She said it in a way that made you laugh, even with your eyes filled with tears. “Did the two of you have a disagreement? You don't have to answer me if you don't want to.”
“Something similar.” You said shakily; due to your crying and chilly. Inside the car was heated, but your body was so cold that it didn't seem to be enough. You tried to snuggle in the passenger seat, letting your head rest against the window like in a sad film. Maybe that’d help.
“Here,” she handed you a coat, without hesitation you took it. “I brought it to you in case you needed it.”
You nodded slowly. “Thank you, Victoria,”
“You can call me Vic, just like everyone else,” she laughed.
You gave her a half smile. “Okay then, thank you very much, Vic,”
The rest of the day would be crying while you curled up in your bed, you’d let yourself feel at your worst; promising that you would try and change that the next day.
———----------------------------------------------
You expected the first few days to be the hardest, but it seemed to get worse with each passing day. Damiano had tried to call you a few times and in all of them you responded dryly, using short words, pretending it’d be okay. You truly tried, but you needed time to process what happened. You told him that, and then time he gave you.
After completing a month of the incident, you noticed how 'dependent' you had become on him. He was always around since you were kids, any problem you had you would look for him to talk to, now you felt like you had nothing. Your friends were friends of his, too, more of his friends than yours. You missed having Thomas failing on teaching you how to play guitar on your couch and besides you thought about calling him - just to distract yourself - you remembered that he was more a friend of Damiano than yours. It’d be weird. None of them contacted you at that time, not even Thomas. You couldn't figure it out if Dami had told them what happened and they decided to give you space or if they just didn't care about you when you wasn’t around Damiano.
Basically, where Dami was you would be and vice versa. It had always been like that.
When you saw that just time wasn’t solving anything, you programmed yourself to live in a way that you were busy all the time. Your routine became work, home and most of the time taking the work to be done also in your home. You didn't feel energized to make new friends, and going out on dates could help momentarily but it wouldn't be fair to go out with someone in the ‘mood’ you were in; then these ideas were soon discarded. Sleeping was impossible, you spent hours rolling over in bed; both for the flashbacks that plagued your mind, but also for the fact that you missed him. The nights were worse when you visit your mother or when she called and said, "Dami never came to see me again." or something like. “Are you still talking to each other? We don't let someone like Damiano leave our lives.”
Deep down, you knew there was no way you could be in love with him forever and that no matter how much it hurt at that moment it would pass. You started to repeat it to yourself as much as you could, so when the boys got in touch with you again you didn't hesitate to answer. Nothing bad would happen, you just need to pretend to be fine. The first to send you a message was Thomas, with simple questions, he acted like nothing had happened, you liked it. Even though it was obvious that Thomas, as one of his boys, would know this in more detail than you did (which was a lie, but at least he knew how Damiano was feeling about it, which you wouldn't know). He updated you about Dami, who was great as always, and you said you were doing well when he asked. You answering him made Ethan talk to you too, although they were all polite and delicate, they seemed more to be sorry than to miss you. Pity wasn’t something you were expecting.
After five months, you still felt like crap. You had tried to stop counting the days that had passed since you last saw Damiano, but it was almost impossible. You could still remember that night vividly, but you were still trying your best to move on; leave it behind. Mysteriously, you wanted to see him, see how he was doing and find out if he had anything else to say but you were afraid to see him, go back to your place as his best friend just to realize that your feelings for him had not abated at all.
“...I haven't seen you in a while. I wonder if you're alright,” you heard when answering your phone. Your head hurt, your eyes stung. You had slept on spreadsheets that you brought home from your work.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Shit,” she murmured.
You looked at the phone screen. “Sorry Vic, I just woke up I'm still trying to copy.” You laughed to calm her down.
“I thought I didn't have my number,” her voice became softer, as if she was relieved that you had saved it. “I didn't want to wake you up, I'm sorry about that. I just wanted to know how you‘re doing, since I used to see you almost every day, y’know?”
You thought about saying that you saved her number the day Dami called to pick him up at a bar since his phone battery was dead and he was in no condition to drive, but Victoria clearly knew that. “Is Dami with you?”
“No,” her tone matched yours; Dami had told her, now she was being careful with her words. “I saved your number the day Dami needed to call you, in case I needed to call you again.”
“That’s alright, thanks for checking on me then.”
“But he would love to talk to you. He always asks the boys about you or comments on you so that someone can bring you up to the convo. He seems a bit lost when you not ‘round to be honest.”
Somehow hearing that made you happy. Still, the image of discomfort whenever you thought of talking to him scared you. The phone line was filled with silence, until Victoria's husky voice filled the line.
“Anyway, I didn't call you to talk about Damiano. We finally finished the album and decided to have a small celebration at my house,” you giggle at the formality. “We thought you should go, since you were present in more than half of the process. I‘d like you to come. We’d all like you to come.”
———
Your heart accelerated with each step you took as you entered Victoria's house. The rooms had a glow of being calm and the music that was playing helped to make the place cozy. The instrumental of the band reminded you of Fleetwood Mac, and for the little that you knew Vic you would say that the type of sound reminded you of her. 
 Her house wasn’t crowded, there were only a few people around; some you’ve seen before, some you haven’t. You thundered your fingers over some vinyl that were arranged in a corner, pretending to read them. You were looking for familiar faces, honestly even for Damiano, but for some unknown reason you didn't want to make that obvious. Your eyes captured Thomas talking to some girls, and soon you felt relieved to be dressed according to the occasion; or at least according to the girls who were close to Thomas. It didn't take long until he noticed you standing there, you waved and he came to you. He looked surprised, still he didn't wait for you to say anything else, just wrapped you in his arms so tight you had to ask him to let go in between muffled laughter.
“Vic working miracles! Come, I'll take you to the others.” He said in his cute form, holding your hand as guiding you through the house. “So, how's our best girl?”
Your lips parted in a smile. “I’m alright, pretty much the same to be honest,” there was no time for him to ask another question because you soon spotted Ethan and Victoria with their beers in hands. They seemed to be shocked to see you as well; and it was starting to irritate you for reasons you couldn't explain. Thomas put you behind him, hiding you from the two of them as if they hadn't seen you already. He was being such a sweetheart that he had even managed to soften the anxious butterflies in your stomach; but not enough to keep your mind free of worries and Damiano David. Thomas made a funny noise with his hands as Ethan ignored his attempt to be amusing, pulling you into a hug. Who would have thought you would have missed them so much.
“How long without seeing you, I force you not to do that again. Without you we are just another disorganized mess.” You laughed at his nonsense. Your smile was sincere, like it hadn't been for months, still you were forcing yourself a bit more to appear to be actually 'fine'. You’d like to know if they noticed, even though you were appreciating that they didn’t.
“No worries, I‘m not planning on leaving you guys alone.”
 Ethan and Thomas started to discuss about something, Ethan was already under the effect of alcohol, and from time to time they asked for your opinion on how Victoria had been strangely quiet. Atypical of her, but she didn't seem to be out of place or uncomfortable, just quiet.
“Did a cat eat the tongue of my newest attractive friend?”
“Not this time,” she showed you her tongue, and then smirked. Her eyes shone in differently way under your gaze and her make up was making her look more mature. “Are you feelin’ good? Thank you for coming.” Victoria was happy to see you, you could feel that. She might be curious, but pity wasn’t something possible to see in her; different from the other boys. “You must be tired of hearing that question, I'm sorry. It‘ll no longer be asked.”
Her voice was soft, comfortable to hear. “I appreciate that. I really have heard a lot of that, but despite everything, I feel good ‘bout bein’ here.”
“I feel even happier that you came then,” she put her hand gently on your waist. The other two didn't even remember you and Vic were there. “Let's get you something to drink, we bought that red drink Damiano always says you love.”
“No way, it’s bishop cocktail?” You looked at her, a big grin on your face, even though you remembered that this was the drink you were drinking when the universe decided it would be a good idea for you and Dami to have a one-night stand. Just a lovely reminder. “Have you mixed everything up? like the rum with the red wine? or with red drink you just want to say you bought wine?” You asked, ignoring your internal conflicts. Everything would be fine, you ket repeating to yourself.
“In fact, I remember once hearing you comment you didn't mind it being mixed up in a random bottle.”
She pulled a glass bottle out of a bucket full of ice and you couldn't believe she remembered that; given that you could count on your fingers the times that you had actually spoken to her. You didn’t avoid each other, just didn’t have much of the opportunities.
“Oh my god, that’s so fuckin’ lovely.” You whispered. She was quick to pick up a glass and hand it to you, filling it with the so well remembered liquid. You took a sip, and the taste - or alcohol - made your butterflies calmer. “Thanks for that, tastes like heaven.” She took a glass for herself, by her expression she thought it was a waste of rum. “C’mon, it’s not that bad.”
“If you think so, who am I to deny.”
“Don’t be a bummer,” you bumped your shoulder with hers, eliciting a cute sound from her that made you laugh as well.
You wish that sensation had lasted longer, even so when a random girl approached you to ask something, you felt heavy; like a sign. Her hair was golden in perfect waves and her face was angelic in an almost divine way. You might have been overreacting, but she was the type to catch all the attention to herself.
“You’re Y/N, right? I was startin’ to think that I’d never get to know you.” She hugged you tight and you wondered if she really didn't know you. When she released you, you felt your heart breaking right there in front of her. She was wearing Dami's sweater; the same one from that night, the same one that you wore. You wanted to be wrong, but you’d know that sweater from a distance even after years. “He talks so much about you. Can you believe we never met?” She asked, alternating her gaze between you and Victoria. She had been silent, you had forgotten that she was still there. Your head was miles away in thoughts, making you dizzy.
“Hi, Bella,” Victoria said. You remembered that name. Damiano talked about her on a few occasions, anyways he didn't seem to be in love - or you just didn’t want to see that. Maybe you haven’t been able to read him due to your stupid passion. “How’s everything?”
She started talking to Victoria and you couldn't concentrate on listening; all the alcohol in the world would not ease what you were feeling. How long have they been together? What was so special about her that Damiano gives her his favorite sweater? Were they together when you slept together? How did she end up with the same sweater you slept in that day?
She held the cup that was in your hands and handed it to Victoria. “Are you okay, hon’? You look a lil’ unwell. Do you want me to get you some water?”
“No need, I’m alright,” she patted your arm, and then checked your temperature. She was being nice, yet you couldn't pretend to be interested in being there anymore.
Thankfully, Victoria put an arm around your shoulders, asking if you want to join her to have a smoke. “It’ll be good, fresh air will do good to you.”
You agreed. Bella was worried and you felt bad about having to run away from her. She looked like an incredible person, sure Damiano was lucky to have her, that was just too much for you.
“Do this, you will feel better. We can talk later and so you can tell me everything about you and Dami, I’d love to hear you, since you’ve known each other for so long.” You looked for some irony in her voice, but you didn't found it. She was interested in you; after all, you were her boyfriend's best friend. It made sense.
Victoria guided you to the balcony, or at least halfway to it. Midway, someone stopped to talk to her, she tried to dismiss the person, however, as it was a thing related to the album, she would have no way out. “Victoria, it’s fine, I need some time alone.” You whispered to her, patting on her arm. She looked at you reluctantly, but understand. There wouldn't be much she could do for you.
Entering the balcony you felt an absurd urge to cry, your eyes itched and your legs were trembling. Was being in love meant to hurt this much, or was it just a game of chance?
You tried to take a deep breath, ease your heartbeats, telling yourself it was okay. You just needed to calm down. You leaned your body against the wall and watched the place. The plants near the fence - which you didn't know how Victoria had time to take care of them - the streets, and then the sky. Starry and moist, made for good memories that wouldn't come to you. When you felt ready enough to go out and face the party again, you ran into the one you were trying to avoid, Dami. Minutes ago you were anxious with the possibility to see him to know how he was, now you just wanted to run away and wipe these last months out of your mind.
“Y/N,” his body collided with yours while his arms wrapped around you, it was supposed to be a good thing, that you‘d feel safe as the same way you used to feel, except that was uncomfortable now. You couldn't even respond to his hug, for a second you thought you would escape without having to see him. He noticed and gave you space. “I swore that you wouldn't come. My god, it's so good to see you.” He ran his hands through his hair and you remained paralyzed in front of him.
You tried to focus on your breathing so that your voice came out without too many complications. “Yeah... It's good to see you, you look great.” It didn't work, your voice was shaky making your lie sound even worse. He looks great, you didn't lie, he seemed even happier and well rested. You wondered if it was because the album was ready or because now he had Bella.
You forced a smile, but unlike the others, Damiano knew you were acting. He didn’t judge or question, his face became tense, apprehensive. He knew that nothing was right.
“I thought about callin’ you more, goin’ to see you or something. The boys convinced me that it‘d be better not, that it could be even hard for you. I wonder if I shouldn't have done something different to help you because I know I fucked up too.” His hands were undecided between running through his hair and staying inside his pockets. He was nervous, at the same relieved to have spoken to you.
“It wasn't your fault, I’d never blame you for that,” you sighed, smiling slightly. It felt terrible to make him feel that way about it, but there wasn't much you could do. “I'm glad you gave me space when I asked, it's still hard to see you or think about talkin’ to you. It is as if everything that is tormenting me comes all at once.” It was good to say that to him. He nodded and you looked at each other for a while. It wasn't as uncomfortable as you thought it would be.
He was a few feet away from you while you were admiring the night, with your back against the wall. You wanted to leave, maybe go cry in your bed until you fell asleep, still you wanted things to work out with Dami, you wanted that tension and fear of seeing him to get out of your head. Despite that, if it was necessary to suffer in that process, it would not be worth it.
“She’s amazing,” it hurt to say that, but it was the truth. “Bella’s amazing, lucky girl.” You smiled sadly. Saying her name and seeing Dami smiling at that made you thank God for not seeing the two of them together, hugging or kissing. He‘d probably put his hand on her waist while she was talking to one of his friends or giving lightly kisses to her temple, just because he felt like it. Damiano was the cute type, you've seen it before.
“She is, an amazing person. She was all happy to have spoken to you. I told her all about our teenage years and how you always supported the band,” He had told her about you, would he have told her about you being in love with him? You thought to ask, soon giving up. It’d be shameful if so. “If I knew you would be here I’d not have come with her.” It made you think that he had told her.
“What would you do? Would you hide me from her for the rest of your life?” You sighed. it was supposed to sound like a joke, regrettably your voice sounded too cruel for that.
“It’s not like that,” he mumbled. “I was just tryin’ to think of you and—“
“I think I need to go Dami, it’s being too much. I’m sorry.” You needed to get out of there, you couldn't stop the tears anymore and you knew it was a bad idea to talk about her with him.
You took a few steps back just for Damiano to grab at your arm, without putting strength, just like a few months ago, to stop you in front of him. You turned your face away from looking at his eyes, feeling as the tears run down your cheek. You'd never be able to face him, this situation was only proving that to you even more.
“Please, Y/N. Just tell me what I need to do. I will do anything for you to talk to me again. I need you, you know that. The past few weeks have been a mess without you around. Even little my mom misses you. I’d do anything to have you back like before.” He was about to cry, his eyes shone with tears and it was painful to watch. He could do anything for you to stay; except what would make you stay. Unfortunately, it didn't depend only on his good will.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t do this,” you said in a lack of air, signaling the space around you with your finger. “But this, this is too much. It kills me to have to be close to you or to be close to things or people that remind me of you, seeing someone else with you doesn't help at all. I still think about the fact that we slept together... I can’t just forget it ‘cause it meant so much to me and to you, to you? it was nothing.” You were out of breath, you just wanted to cry in peace, put everything out until there was nothing left. 
 He released his hands of you, his face red and damp. It wasn't going to be easy for either of you. Time wouldn't matter; it wouldn’t change a thing because whenever you looked at him you’d wonder about how things could have been like if he had chosen you.
He whispered one more time that he was sorry, then let you go. He could have stopped you, but it's not like he knew what to do anymore. 
He watched as you walk out without even looking back.
——-
You went through the party walking fast, avoiding acquaintances and questions about why you were like that. Your body was heavy as well as your conscience. Outside the house the street was empty, the streetlights illuminated the sidewalk and along with the silence of the street you felt invited to sit there. You brought your knees close to your body, trying to breathe calmly. Pulling the air in, and then releasing it in a normal way. Your heart was beating so fast that your whole body was agitated. You tried to stay still. You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling a little dizzy when you saw someone walk out the front door of the house. You dropped your knees, trying to look decent, but gave up as soon as the person came closer to you and you saw that it was Victoria. She sat next to you, pulling you into a hug. You were happy that she went to you.
“I’m fine,” you murmured, hugging her waist and hiding your face in the fabric of her shirt.
“Stop saying that you’re fine when you’re far from being fine, I won’t judge you sweetheart,” she comforted you, giving you a extra squeezing. You were far from being alright, but it helped, having someone there helped.
She placed her chin on top of your head, soothing you until your crying softened. She rubbed your back and whispered that it’d be okay.
“Did Damiano send you here?”
“No, darlin’. He said that you had talked, and then you had to leave, he didn't look well, I thought you wouldn't be either.”
“And then you decided to look out for me?” You laughed, still tucked in her warm arms.
“Yep, sounds like you need me, don’t you think?” She laughed too, causing the vibration of her chest next to yours make you feel taken in.
“Why’s love so painful?”
Victoria didn't answer, she was thoughtful for a few minutes, and then she stood up, holding out her hand for you.
“What?”
“I won’t be taking no as an answer, you’ll get in the car with me and we will do something, anything, drink milk shakes, fill up our bellies with pizza ‘til we can't take it anymore, or even rob a bank.” She held you by the waist, lifting you up for her. “Please,”
You didn't see why not to accept. There was nothing worse that could get even worse at the moment, maybe going somewhere would do you good. “Even rob a bank?” She nodded, pointing to where her car was.
A smile spreading across her lovely face as you realized you’d go anywhere she wanted with her. “Yes, even robbing a bank.”
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