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#it took me a while to write this one!
fictionadventurer · 8 months
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There's something about reading really great writing that's so relaxing. You can just sit back and let the words wash over you, knowing that you can trust the writer.
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slashersteve · 2 years
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Next Best Thing to An Angel
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requested by anonymous
pairing: Steve Harrington/Henderson!Female Reader
summary: Reader has been cursed by Vecna, and the group has to work fast in order to find a way to rid her of it. There's too many close calls, and just when they thought they had it figured out...it just might be too late.
warnings/extra tags: cursing, mentions of blood, violence due to fucked up visions brought to you by Vecna, near death experiences, >>>ST4 V1 SPOILERS<<<, this is beta read by the bestie @dearneverlander so it should be ~crisp~
note: There's references to the 1984 movie Streets of Fire aka one of my fave 80s Rock and Roll Fables. You don't need to know the exact plot, but just know it's an important movie and soundtrack to the reader <3 This took me a bit to write because I wanted it to be hella good. Thank you for the request and I hope you enjoy!
✧ ✧ ✧
It started just a day after your cheer teammate and one of your closest friends, Chrissy Cunningham, told you she was having problems. You were perhaps one of the only people who was aware of what she was going through, not even her boyfriend knew about her horrible headaches or the growing nightmares.
When she told you, she seemed so scared. It was so unlike her that it scared you to see her act in such a way, so much that you thought you scared yourself into experiencing the same things or that maybe she caught an illness and gave it to you.
The first thing that happened was a nosebleed. You were at the Hawkins Family Video Store, waiting for your boyfriend Steve to finish renting out a video to a customer so you can help him pick out a movie to put on.
You were reading the back of a tape that Robin had handed you prior, since she was trying to broaden yours and Steve's movie horizons because according to her you both were ‘hopeless’ when it came to your movie knowledge.
"I don't know about this one Robin," You called to her.
"What? God, you're so lame, you and Steve are probably just going to put on Streets of Fire again,” she replied from somewhere behind you.
You chuckled to yourself, "Not exactly a bad idea."
"Did you say Streets of Fire?" Steve questioned after the customer had left, leaving just you three and a handful of patrons who were still trying to find movies to watch, "I love that movie. It's pretty damn romantic."
You laughed and agreed while Robin scoffed and pushed the video cart aside.
"Excuse me? Did you say romantic? He punches her in the face," Robin reminded you both. You cringed.
"Okay, not that part, but even then it's taken out of context- just- whatever, it's a good movie," you tried to defend it, "Plus, the soundtrack is pretty killer."
"I’m still not over you both thinking it’s romantic. Context considered and all, but they don't even end up together in the end," Robin replied, you sighed.
"It's about the closure, Robin, he just left her without a word, and after he saves her from Raven, they finally get it, it is romantic in it's own way," you set the other tape down, ready to put it on the video store's TV out of spite.
"Right. Well, at least Diane Lane is hot in it...and yeah, I'll give you the soundtrack, it is pretty good."
Steve laughed to himself, enjoying how much you loved and defended the movie because he knew why you liked it so much. It was the movie you and him watched on your very first date two years ago at a drive-in. Since then, it has been your favorite movie of all time.
"I think you secretly like the movie, Robin, and since it's my turn to pick a movie," Steve had grabbed it from where it sat conveniently under the counter and handed it to you, "Go ahead and put it on." You hopped off of the counter with a satisfied grin while Robin sighed dramatically and crossed her arms.
You removed the tape from its case, and leaned up, ready to insert it into the player when your mind suddenly became foggy. It felt odd, like an invisible force had violently washed over you and caused a pulsing pain in your head that almost mirrored a migraine.
The tape slipped from your grasp, crashing onto the ground as you brought your hand to your forehead. The clatter of the tape hitting the ground was what had brought you back to reality after a few seconds, and Steve was beside you.
"Woah, are you okay-” he stopped when his brown eyes fell to the bottom part of your face. You blinked, still a little disoriented from the random headache.
“Oh shit, Henderson, your nose,” Robin said what Steve didn’t, her eyes on the same place Steve’s were. You lifted your hand to below your nose, instantly feeling something wet and sticky. 
When you looked at your fingers, you saw it was blood.
It didn't scare you more than it had confused you. You hadn't gotten one in so long, and the last time your nose did bleed was when a sophomore girl trying out for the cheer team kicked you in the nose by accident.
After this incident, the days following felt almost like hell. You'd wake up in a cold sweat from nightmares, all of them about either losing Steve or your little brother Dustin, and you were taking Tylenol more frequently for these massive headaches that never seemed to go away.
You could only think of Chrissy, and what she had told you, and wonder if she passed you some kind of illness. You tried talking to her again during practice or in the halls, but she seemed keen on continuing to pretend that she was alright, and maybe she was because she still cheered and ruled the school with a smile on her face.
You thought if she could do it, then so could you. Unlike her though, you had a boyfriend who could see right through the facade and had a brother who could relay to him how weird you've been acting when Steve asked. He had told Steve the nights you’ve canceled on dates or meet-ups with him and Robin in the past few days you were actually locked away in your room. It was very uncharacteristic of you, considering you were out almost every other day, either with your friends or with Steve.
When Steve insisted you let him drop you off at Hawkins High and asked you what had been going on when Robin left first, you didn’t really understand why your first instinct was to withhold the truth.
"I just haven't been feeling well," you told him, while pretending you were fixing your lipstick, "I think I...caught something.”
"Something how?" Steve asked, concern etched all over his features, “It must be bad because you look like you haven’t been sleeping either.”
You pressed your lips together because you were positive you packed on enough make-up to hide those dark circles that had started form. 
You didn't want to tell him about your nightmares, not wanting to worry him for what you thought were just dreams. It made you feel bad because you've never shied away from telling Steve anything, but you were scared if you said anything whatever it was would get him too. Your dreams were too...vivid and real.
It was always about the day you both were interrogated by the Russian Guards, and every time you didn't answer they hurt him and not you. They made you believe they had killed him, that you were the reason he was dead. And there was that…room.
"Just headaches, mostly," you said quietly, shutting the mirror and resting your hands above your Hawkins cheer skirt.
Steve had looked suspicious, and he said, “Should you do the pep rally then? Or the game tonight? I know it’s the championship but…” You had forced a sweet smile his way and leaned toward him.
"I'll be okay, I promise," you tried to assure him with a peck on his cheek, leaving the pink residue of your lipstick there, “I love it when you care so much.” You were gone and out of the car before Steve could say anything more.
Steve had noticed since that day you were different, it almost felt like you were pulling away from him emotionally in a way. For almost two years you've been in this relationship, and when you've gotten sick in the past, you never had done this.
Something else was wrong, but neither of you would find out until after Chrissy Cunningham's death.
✧ ✧ ✧
"The curse of Vecna," Dustin Henderson and Eddie Munson had both said at the same time.
"The curse of who?" Steve asked. You had scrunched your face up with confusion.
"Are you two talking about that wizard from Dungeons and Dragons?" you asked, knowing this information because Dustin always bothered you by explaining all of the campaigns he did to you during dinner mostly.
"Not just a wizard, a dark wizard," Dustin told you, "He uses a magic spell on the players called Vecna's curse."
"Do you really think that's what it is?" Max had asked from beside Robin, "I mean…”
"Only one way to find out. What else have you experienced?" Dustin's question was toward you now, and you uncomfortably crossed your arms over your chest, not sure what to say.
Eddie blinked a few times as he looked between Dustin and you before he asked, "Wait, why are you asking her?"
Steve's hand rested on the small of your back, and you exhaled shakenly, "Because about a week ago, Chrissy confided in me about these...nightmares and headaches she'd been getting. And about a day after that...I started to get the same kind of symptoms and now Chrissy is dead and I-" you closed your lips and shook your head.
Eddie stared at you, "Oh shit."
Steve rubbed your back affectionately, "Okay, so now that we think we know what it is, how it works...is there any way to stop it?"
"Okay, okay, first up, didn't you say something about a nosebleed?" Dustin's question was directed at you again. You looked at your little brother and nodded.
"Yeah, about 6 days ago at the video store...Steve and Robin were there."
Nobody noticed how Max shifted uncomfortably in her spot upon hearing your words.
Robin nodded, "Yeah I remember that...god this is insane. I mean, last time it was insane too, but this is just...yikes."
As they continued to discuss possible ways to stop this curse they believe you had, you started to feel very uneasy. Chills had crawled their way up your back, making you tense up and bite your lip to stop it from quivering.
Eddie had said what happened to Chrissy, how she was in this sort of trance before her body was lifted into the air and...how her bones cracked and how her eyes...how her fucking eyes were sucked back into her skull.
You thought about how it was after Chrissy told you about her problems, you instantly got them too. And you looked at everyone around you, your little brother, Robin, Max, even Eddie, and especially Steve. You didn't know how this thing spread, if this Vecna character had chosen you simply because you interacted with Chrissy, like she passed some curse onto you.
And if any of them were next it would be because you were an idiot and told them too.
The thought made you physically ill and you were leaving before anyone could stop you, ignoring Steve calling after you. You left the boat house with a hand over your mouth to try and keep the rising bile in your throat down.
When you were finally near the trees, you doubled over and threw up all over the grass. You fell to your hands and knees after you emptied out your already empty stomach, panting and spitting onto the floor to get the horrid taste of the stomach bile and acid out of your mouth.
Running out into the darkness was not a smart idea, you knew that, especially now you learned you were probably cursed, but you just needed to run. You needed to get out, you needed to just get away from them.
Then, you heard Steve calling your name. You were shaking and shouted, "I’m okay- just leave me alone right now- please-"
Your name was called again, but this time...it wasn't Steve. In fact, it wasn't any of them inside that boat house.
This voice caused a violent wave of fear to crash through you, making your body go still. Whatever had called your name was right behind you. You turned your head slowly, and saw that your surroundings were different now. 
Different, but very familiar too. Blood stained the floor tiled floor and walls, torture weapons scattered among them. The stench of blood was strong, just as it was the day you remember being locked in there when you were captured in the Russian Facility. 
It was the room they said they had killed Steve in.
Your hands moved to cover your nose and mouth, panic rising in you that you were somehow here again reliving the worst day of your life. 
The loud chime of what sounded like a large clock echoed from behind you, causing you to yelp out a short scream and twist your body around to see the source of the sound.
Engraved in the wall, your eyes fell upon an ominous grandfather clock. It chimed, echoing in your ears and mind, and it ticked almost like a threat.
And it certainly was.Your name was called again, but this time it felt like it was all around you. 
“The time to end your suffering is coming soon,” the voice told you, “Join me and I will spare your friends. If you refuse, I will take them all.”
The clock chimed again and ticked, louder than the thumping of your chest and louder than the voice itself. The lights of the torture room you were in flickered, and you caught a glimpse of…something or somebody. 
It was enough to make you scream.
You were gasping suddenly. And then, you heard Steve’s voice shouting your name.
Steve’s hands were grasped tightly over your shoulders, as he was shaking you in an attempt to get you to wake up. 
Your eyes shot around your surroundings, not looking at Steve at first as you took in that you were where you found yourself before. By the trees just outside of Reefer Rick’s boathouse, and in the grass you’d just vomited in. 
“Hey! Hey!” Steve called to you, “Look at me, I’m right here, what happened? Are you okay? Talk to me!” You finally looked at Steve, and in an instant you remembered what that being had told you. 
“If you refuse, I will take them all.”
You shook your head frantically, and said in a broken voice, “No, no I won’t let him.” 
Steve furrowed his eyebrows at you, and tilted his head and he asked you what you were talking about. That was when you moved away from him, from all of them, even your own little brother who was knelt beside you.
Like Steve, his eyebrows were drawn together, and he said, “Wait- wait what are you talking about?”
You kept your eyes down, being sure not to look at any of them who you realized were surrounding you too. Eddie had his hands in his hair, Robin had a hand over her mouth and Max’s expression was simply unreadable. Nobody spoke for a few seconds, probably because they were waiting for you to speak. 
Steve reached out to you, gently grabbing your trembling hand when you didn’t, “Hey, it’s us, okay? What happened?”
To Steve’s surprise, you pulled away from him the moment his hand touched yours and started to shake your head again, muttering a quiet I can’t underneath your breath.
His heart dropped when you had done so and he only felt more of this fearful feeling since he came out here and found you. After you had left the boat house, Steve was the first to run after you, then it was Dustin and the rest. He found you on your hands and knees, just staring forward with your eyes clear and blinking. 
You were unresponsive, no matter how much he called your name, not even when all of them called your name. It was like you weren’t even there.
It was when Eddie came out and saw the state you were in, things became much more real.
“That’s exactly what happened to fucking Chrissy!” Eddie had said, his hands moving to his ears as he stared with a terrified expression, as if he expected you to start levitating like she did at any second.
It was one thing to hear about it, but another to see what Eddie was talking about in person, especially to someone you care and desperately love. It felt like someone had thrown ice cold water on Steve, and he felt completely helpless as nothing he did brought you back from wherever you were. 
And now, you were awake and you were…terrified. 
“I…I have to get out of here,” you suddenly said in a shaking voice as you moved to stand, “Because of me he’s going to get you- he’s going to get all of you.” 
The words hit them like a freight train, but you were already walking away. Steve tried to catch you, but you were already out of his reach.
“Who? Vecna? You saw Vecna? Did he tell you that? ” Dustin was standing and following after you, “Shit! Tell us what you saw! Then maybe-” 
“No!” you shouted at your brother, “No! I can’t- I-I have to go-” 
Steve remained still for a moment, wondering why you would say such a thing. Because of me he’s going to get all of you. 
What the hell does that mean?
✧ ✧ ✧
“Here’s what we know, my sister said because of me he’s going to get all of you,” Dustin stated as they sat in the trailer park benches, “And she said she interacted with Chrissy before that. So maybe, just maybe there’s some kind of a connection there, right? Like it’s a curse that spreads like some kind of…virus?”
Everyone was there, and so were you, but you were sitting at the playground. They were sure to always look over at you. 
You hadn’t talked much since your experience last night, and it was a choice on your part. If they weren’t going to leave you alone, then you wouldn’t tell them anything, hoping that perhaps that would keep this Vecna away from them too. 
“I mean…maybe?” Nancy had spoken, having joined them after the death of her co-editor Fred. He was killed the exact same way Chrissy had been, and when you heard that, you were shaking with terror because you knew you were next. 
“What do you mean maybe?” Dustin asked Nancy. 
“It’s just…Fred’s never had any interaction with Chrissy or your sister, he’s been at my side for at least…89% of the school year,” Nancy said then glanced over at you, “Has she said anything yet?” 
All eyes moved to you and then to Steve, and his eyes dropped down. 
“She’s…fucking terrified guys,” Steve said, lifting his gaze on you now. You were digging your feet into the dirt beneath you, “And I am too. She hasn’t said a word since last night.” 
He was still haunted by that image of you, your eyes nearly rolled to the back of your skull and nonreactive to anything he or the others had tried. He couldn’t get even a wink of sleep last night because he couldn’t get the image out of his mind.
“Well, we should try again,” Nancy urged, then started to stand, “I’ll go talk to her-” 
“No, no I’ll talk to her,” Steve said as he stood up faster than her. They all looked at him again, and he raised his hand slightly, “I got this, she’s my girlfriend, did everyone forget that or something?” 
He didn’t wait for any response from them, especially Dustin, and jogged toward where you sat. You heard someone coming, something you were actually anticipating. When you looked up, you saw Steve, and as your heart always did when you saw him, it leaped, making you for a moment feel…normal and safe again. 
“Hey,” Steve said, and you would’ve smiled had your heart not felt cold again after being warm for the first few seconds you saw him. He leaned on the spot next to you. You stood up and moved away from him, making him frown deeper. 
You never did this, shut yourself off from him and your friends before. Even with your little brother. And it broke Steve to see you like this, broke him that you didn’t want to tell him anything even if it could help them help you. 
Right now, it just seemed like you’d given up and Steve didn’t like that because you never gave up. 
Steve walked after you, and captured your wrist before you could get away. Your face hardened, and tried to pull away, but Steve kept his grasp firm. 
“Stop doing that,” Steve told you, “Please. We want to help, I want to help, don’t let this creep Vecna guy just…torment you and take you away so easily.”
You shook your head, “Steve, it’s too dangerous, I’m next I know it, I know it.”
Steve exhaled sharply, hating that you’ve already actively accepted your fate rather than fighting and trying to find out with the rest of them on how to stop him. 
“Don’t talk like that,” he said, “We’re going to figure this out, okay? We’ve figured everything out in the past and this time is going to be no different.” 
“What’s different is that I’m a target this time, and it’s already been a day since Chrissy, and now Fred- I’m next and then it’ll be one of you and it’ll be because of me.” 
“You don’t know that!” Steve said, his voice getting a little harder, “We don’t even know why or how this wizard guy targets his victims-”
“I was around Chrissy, Steve! She told me about her nightmares and her- her headaches, and now she’s dead and now someone else is dead and-” 
“Hey!” Steve was pulling you toward him now, making you face him completely, “This isn’t helping anybody, especially yourself. You know more than us, probably something that we are missing. You have to trust us, trust me- because I am not going to let some…creepy weird dark wizard fucker take the girl that I love away from me.” 
You stared at Steve in silence, his words striking you right in the chest. 
“And they won’t either,” he gestured back to them, “No fucking way. No fucking way.” 
Steve was mad, not at you, but at Vecna, and you felt almost a wave of calm coming over you for the first time since that nosebleed of yours. You’d forgotten in your mute state that they were your friends, that they cared about you, Steve cared about you. They only wanted to help. You were going to speak, going to tell Steve that you were sorry, that you would help…
But then, a cold air hit you, and the sky above you was covered in gray clouds, submerging you in a gloomy, stormy kind of atmosphere. You didn’t understand at first, eyes flickering upward until you suddenly heard the familiar chime of the clock. 
Your heart dropped, and you looked back at Steve. Except it wasn’t Steve anymore, but this…monster. 
You shrieked at the sight of this thing, this unimaginable horror that looked like it was covered with burnmarks and the vines of the Upside Down you remembered seeing in the underground tunnels you helped the kids set fire to. 
“You’re going to get them killed,” the monster of your waking nightmares told you, “They’re going to die because of you.” 
You stumbled backward and away from him, dry heaves coming out of your lips as you tried to form any kind of words. Instead, you placed your hand over your ears and closed your eyes again, a new habit of yours you didn’t know you had in the face of true terror.
He was chuckling, clearly entertained by the torment he was causing you.
As fast as it came, it had passed and the world around you was bright and warm again, Vecna’s laughter fading away from you, and your face was being held by Steve’s hands. He was panting, eyes flickering all over your features. 
He looked distraught, his lips lightly quivering as he had to watch you go into yet another trance. The others were already running toward you, calling your name as well and asking what happened.
“What is he doing to you? Please tell me, so I can help you-” Steve practically begged you, but you were pulling away from him then and started to run. You didn’t know where you were running, or how far you’d get before them catching you, but it was all you could think of to do again. Just run, you thought, run as far away from them as possible. You run away and you keep them safe. You keep Dustin safe, you keep Steve safe, you keep them all safe. 
They were all calling after you, their voices desperate and scared. 
You thought you could still hear the chimes and the ticking, echoing all around you as you ran as fast as you could.
✧ ✧ ✧
Steve was trying to hold himself together, but the truth was he didn’t know what the hell to do. None of you really did. They of course had caught up to you after you ran, finding you sitting at the edge of the road. 
When they found you, you had said it would be any moment now, any second, and that if they didn’t want to see what happened to Chrissy and Fred happen to you, they should leave now. 
None of them did, and after many attempts, they finally got you to get into the car. 
You were under a strict watch now, whether you had liked it or not. Both Steve and Dustin had to be firm with you. 
You were lucky to have a genius for a little brother, sure he got on both yours and Steve’s nerves on occasion, but his mind was working quickly, and he was somehow able to keep moving forward in finding out more about Vecna and a possible cure for this curse of his. 
He was doing more than Steve, and he felt useless because you were the love of his life and felt that he should be able to do more than just helplessly watch you suffer. 
It was nighttime, and Steve had taken both you and Dustin to his place for the night. His parents were gone, per usual, and Dustin was sure to keep his radio on in case they needed the others for an emergency. 
Neither of them wanted to say what this code red could be, deciding to keep that to themselves.
Steve didn’t want to think about what this emergency could be. They were in his bedroom, you were in the bathroom, unlocked of course and being timed, and Dustin was going over the new information they had learned. 
“Think about it, they all went through the same thing, right? Nosebleeds, headaches, nightmares, everything, and everyone has had these…problems,” Dustin re-explained everything they had discovered together when they broke into Ms. Kelley’s office to Steve as he paced back and forth, eyes moving to the bathroom door every once in a while, “Chrissy, Fred…and…” 
Steve said your name, and Dustin nodded. 
“Yeah…there’s got to be something she’s not telling us, before all of this, maybe if she just told someone, anyone then we could at least weaken the curse, and then if this works than we can help Max too,” Dustin theorized as he made his way to the other side of the room again, and was sure to say her name a little quieter so you wouldn’t hear. 
They had opted to not tell you about Max’s vision because you seemed dead bent on it being your fault somehow, and the last thing you needed was more on your conscience. 
“So, is there anything she’s been weird about?” Dustin asked Steve now. He looked away in thought for a moment, but nothing fast was coming to mind.
“I…I don’t know,” Steve admitted, and Dustin scowled at him. 
“Jesus Christ Steve, she’s your girlfriend,” Dustin sneered, Steve’s face scrunched up and he replied, “You’re her brother. And how am I supposed to know something that she didn’t tell me? I can’t read minds, man. That’s…Vecma’s job apparently.” 
“Vecna,” Dustin corrected and Steve rolled his eyes because he’d been doing it all day, “I think it’s worth a try. I don’t think we have a lot of time here…” he closed his mouth, not wanting to think about how his sister could have the same fate as Chrissy and Fred. 
Steve sympathized with him greatly, because if he was scared then so was Dustin. He was just ironically very collected about it, nevermind the pacing of the room or how he was speaking all in one breath.
“Okay, so…we talk to her then,” Steve repeated and Dustin nodded.
“If we can get her to, which is why I’m asking you to get her to talk,” Dustin pointed at Steve after stopping in the middle of the room, “You said she almost talked to you right? Before she went under his spell.”
Steve nodded, “Yeah, there was something different in her eyes, and she was about to speak, but then…she was just gone.” 
Dustin snapped his fingers, “I think that proves my theory then! She was going to talk to you, open up to you, probably, and Vecna can’t have that…he can’t have her running back to us or letting us help her or else his spell gets weaker!” 
Steve crossed one arm and rested the other under his chin as he thought. It sounded incredibly plausible, and he met Dustin’s gaze once again, “I…I think it’s definitely worth a shot.” 
The door to the bathroom had opened then, and you emerged in one of Steve’s long sleeves, looking at both of them with suspicious eyes, especially when they both went quiet. 
“Okay well, Steve is going to be on the first watch, I’m going to go downstairs and find some food,” Dustin stated quickly to you. You didn’t say anything, and Dustin gave you and Steve a thumbs up before leaving. 
It was all up to Steve now, and he wasn’t going to let you keep quiet until Vecna got you. It wasn’t going to happen. 
✧ ✧ ✧
You were sitting on his bed, your back resting against the bedrest when Steve finally sat down in front of you. You didn’t look at him when he did, keeping your eyes to the wall opposite of you. It looked like you were probably admiring his trophies, but Steve knew better. You were a million miles away, but not in Vecna’s spell at least.
He didn’t know how to start it, how to even ask you, but he knew he had to. Something had happened, and he needed to make you tell him. 
“Did something happen…before all this that you never told me about?” Steve was asking you, you still didn’t look at him. Steve reached over and grabbed your hand gently, “I was talking to Dustin, and he thinks that it’s possible that Vecna targets those with some kind of…trauma, I guess?”
You shifted only slightly, and Steve rubbed his thumb on your knuckles, “Don’t tell him this because it’ll just rub his already big ego,” he rolled his eyes jokingly, for his new attempt to get you to talk was to be humorous, it always worked on you, but you didn’t smile or react at all, “…but he’s usually right about most things.” 
Steve honestly didn’t doubt it. The girl you became since you were first cursed was somebody completely different, somebody who was broken and afraid, so whatever this Vecna was using to manipulate and change you into this person must’ve been pretty horrific.
But you wouldn’t talk to him, and he now knew Vecna wasn’t letting you because of what happened in the trailer park. Like he relayed to Dustin, you were going to talk to him, going to tell him at least something, and immediately you were put into that trance. 
It pissed him off because he was keeping you away from him, and everyone else. He was isolating you, and it was working. You refused to speak, hell you even physically ran away.
“Whatever he is telling you, it isn’t true,” Steve had tried to say these words as firmly as he could, but his voice had cracked instantly when he continued, “There’s a reason this sadistic asshole is convincing you to run away from us, to keep quiet- and I’m sick of it. Talk to me, please, tell me what it is, just please try.” 
Tears slipped from his eyes then, ones that he didn’t notice at first.
You finally looked at him again, realizing then that Steve was crying. He hardly ever cried, but when he did, it always made you instantly upset too. The last time you’d seen him shed such tears like this was when he learned he didn’t get into any colleges and his dad practically called him stupid and almost disowned him. 
Knowing that it was you Steve was crying over, that it was you causing such emotions made you feel shameful. You reached out suddenly, resting your hand over his. Steve was right, you knew he was, and it was time to stop letting Vecna scare you. You had to say something.
“It…it happened when we were taken by the Russian guards under Starcourt,” you suddenly said, making Steve’s eyes lift up at you. They were wet with tears, “Remember how you were marked up but me and Robin weren’t?” 
He nodded once at you, and sucked in a shaky breath before saying, “It was because they were using you against us, specifically me. If I didn’t speak, they’d beat you more, torture you…and I…I didn’t say anything even though I wanted to so bad just to stop hearing them hurt you.” 
Your own eyes were welling up with tears now too at the horrid memory, “I wasn’t going to give away Dustin or Erica, or anyone, and they knew that, so they had taken it a step forward and-” 
Your voice was quivering again, but you knew you had to tell him. 
“They made it seem like they killed you,” you eyes flashed with the memory of the room they forced you into, claiming it was the room Steve had been kept in, the room that Vecna forced you to step into again in your first vision, “I don’t know whose blood it was, it probably wasn’t even human, but I…I thought you were dead because of me.” 
Tears slipped from your eyes as you finally told him what he wanted to know, “I know they lied, but in the hour they left me in there, it wasn’t a lie. It was real, and I-” 
Steve was pulling you into his arms before you knew it. 
You started to cry too, letting apologies slip from your lips for not telling him and letting Vecna use it against you. You felt weak and pitiful, and he knew how to make that feeling worse until you were too scared to be around everyone.
“I’m okay,” he reassured you, “And I’m going to be okay, nobody can take me away from you so easily- I would fight till the ends of the earth to get back to you…I love you way too much.”
You were nodding, understanding that now because the past week Vecna had taken that understanding from you. You sniffled and told him that you loved him too.
You and Steve stayed in each other’s arms for a while until he moved away from you and said, “Can I give you something?”
You looked up at him, blinking away a few years and asked, “What…what is it?”
“It’s an early anniversary gift,” Steve said as he dug through his drawer. You found yourself smiling at the idea of him hiding it, especially when it was about 2 months before your actual anniversary of being together for two years, “I think…I don’t know maybe it will help…show you how much I love you…”
“Steve, I don’t go into your drawers, you didn’t have to hide it like that,” you said, but still peaked over as far as you could to see what it was as you wiped away your tears. Honestly, you thought maybe it was some piece of jewelry because a sock drawer is usually where those are hidden. 
“It’s exactly why I put it here,” he said following a sniffle before he snapped his fingers and said, “Here it is!” He held up a mixtape, and you tilted your head curiously at it. 
“You made a mixtape?” you asked, a smile growing on your lips once again. Steve nodded, then cringed. 
“Honestly, Dustin had to help out…you can imagine how that went,” he said as he shook his head at the memory. 
“Oh god, the story of my life. You ask him one simple question and he does everything but call you stupid to your face. Sometimes he does.”
“Oh my god, yeah, your brother’s a good kid, but wow,” Steve agreed. This time, you laughed, and at the sound of your laughter Steve’s features grew soft and warm. Your laugh was definitely something you both needed to hear, “Want to listen?”
 “Yes,” you said, “Put it on!”
Steve practically pranced to his stereo as he said, “They’re all your favorite songs, some songs that make me think about you, and some I think you’ll just like.” You hugged your knees to your chest, smiling warmly at Steve. 
At the moment, it felt like Vecna was far behind you and after having talked to Steve and shed tears with him, it felt like this massive weight had come off your shoulders. It was possible that talking was the key to ridding yourself of his curse, or at least making Vecna’s hold on you and his other victims weaker like Dustin thought.
For the first time in a long time, you felt calm, you felt more alive. And it was very obvious, especially to Steve. 
It was why you both had let your guard down, even if just for tonight. He inserted the tape, and adjusted the volume. 
Music began to blast through the speakers, and Steve nodded with content. He had listened to it over and over again, knowing the exact order each song was in. He stood up straight now, and turned to look at you. 
You were staring right at him, your lips in that wide smile despite the tears that stained both of your faces. He was going to walk over to you, but you were already moving to stand. You walked over to him, and wrapped your arms around him in a warm and tender embrace. 
Steve pulled you toward him tightly, resting his chin on the top of your head. 
“We’re going to figure this out.” 
He seemed to be saying this more and more often, but after talking to him and seeing how life seemed to return to you, he was sure he was right now and that you had a chance of surviving Vecna. If they can save you, then they can also save Max and find Vecna and destroy him like they’ve defeated so many things in the past.
“I love you,” he said again breathlessly, “And I won’t let anything happen to you.” 
It was everything he needed you to hear and more, but…you were gone before he even uttered those words to you.
The music that played had suddenly begun to cut out, going in and out of silence in short cracks of electricity. Steve turned from you to look at it, eyes narrowing curiously for his stereo hardly did that. 
Then, the lights began to flicker as well. He looked up at the flickering light, eyes squinting as it disoriented him for a second. 
Realization dawned on him a few seconds too late, and he noticed you were no longer hugging him and instead had gone rigid in his arms. His eyes snapped back to you, and he let out a panicked breath as he saw your expression for the third time in only a day. His heart sank.
His hands moved to your shoulders, shouting your name even though he knew it was futile. You were in Vecna’s trance again, talking didn’t work.
“Steve! Steve, where did you go!” 
Your words were echoing in your own ears. You were in the room alone now, Steve nowhere in sight. You ran toward the door, grasping the doorknob and trying to pull it open. It wouldn’t budge, as if someone was holding it on the other side, keeping you from leaving the room. 
“Steve!” you shouted again, now grasping the doorknob with both hands and beginning to shake and pull at it. Panic rose in your chest and bubbled up your throat the longer it didn’t budge, “Help! Steve! Help!” 
You were shouting at the top of your lungs, now letting go of it and banging aggressively on the wooden door, and throwing your body against it in an attempt to break it down. 
Back in reality, Steve was desperately shaking you, the tears he had shed coming back full force. Dustin was bursting through the door a few seconds later. 
“Shit, shit, shit, shit-” Dustin was saying over and over again when he saw your rigid body in Steve’s arms, “It didn’t work?! It didn’t fucking work!? Steve!?” 
Steve was shaking his head, “I thought- fuck! She was better, she was-” His voice cracked from the tight knot in his throat. Dustin put his hands on his head, entering a full panic as he thought about anything else, literally anything else to save his older sister. 
“Help! Please! Somebody!” you slammed your body against the door one again, and this time it had opened. You fell through it, and fell to the cold, tiled ground. There was also something wet staining your hands and your knees. You couldn’t see though in the darkness, but you could smell. 
It was a strong metallic, coppery smell…a scent you could never forget. 
“No…” you stated as you realized what was happening and made yourself stand. Vecna had put you in that god forsaken room again.
The clock chimed, sending you into nothing but defeat and dread once you heard it. Like Dustin and Steve had thought…it didn’t work. You were here still, you were still in Vecna’s grasp. Fresh tears spilled from your eyes, and mewls slipped past your lips. 
“Did you think it would be that easy?” Vecna’s deep tremble of his voice shook through you, “I wouldn’t let you escape so easily, not when your time was so near.” 
The lights flickered on joining with a dramatic buzzing noise, and your worst fears were proven and more. Your hands were covered in blood that was not yours and when you looked down and past your hands, you saw something that wasn’t in the room before.
It was Steve. His head was turned to the side and his eyes were open and unblinking. You couldn’t even scream, only releasing panicked, dry breaths as you were sent into a full blown panic attack. Your bloody hands shook, and your skin suddenly became below freezing.
You reached out to touch Steve, beginning to shake your head. It wasn’t possible, this never happened. You escaped Starcourt with him, with Robin, Dustin, and Erica. This never happened. Steve was alive, dammit, he was alive.
“This-this isn’t real! This didn’t happen!” You shouted into the lights above you, “This isn’t real-”
“Oh, but it will happen.”
“What do you want!” you screamed at him into the darkness, angry and afraid. The lights flickered again, and you now found yourself in a long hallway, similar to the one you and the Scoops Troop had to walk down in the Russian Facility. Blood still stained the walls, and Steve’s body was gone. In the distance the lights were flickering off as Vecna was stalking toward you with darkness following behind him. The claws of his left hand twitching and moving with every step. 
“I want you to join me.”
You shot up and stepped backwards until your back pressed against a hard wall as you let out quiet whimpers. 
“What do we do!” Steve called to Dustin, his hands now touching your face.
“I’m thinking!” Dustin shouted back, trying not to cry himself. His eyes moved around the room frantically until his eyes fell upon the stereo that was still cutting in and out of music. His eyes widened as he got an idea, “Will! Will! Do you remember when he was possessed by the Mind Flayer and they- shit nevermind- do you have a battery operated stereo or something?” 
Steve yelled at him that it was in his closet. Dustin ran over to it while he yelled, “We have to talk to her, maybe it can get her out- that’s how they communicated with Will and playing that song he likes-” 
Dustin was in Steve’s closet now, eyes searching for the boombox. Steve heard Dustin and remembered exactly what he was talking about. His eyes flashed to his stereo, knowing that they’d need the mixtape that was still in it. 
“The tape we made Dustin, the tape! It’s in there!” Steve said, looking back at you, “Track 3, track 3 !”
Dustin had found it on one the top shelves, tossing boxes of shoes out of the way and grabbing it. He shouted at Steve that he needed to start talking to you, that he needed to tell you fond memories or something like that because it just might get through to you. 
And Steve did, his voice breathless and panicked as he started to tell you about the first time he saw you at Hawkins High. He didn’t know how he never noticed you before because he knew all of the cheerleaders of Hawkins pretty well, but you- you were new. He told you about how he asked everyone about you, learning your name, anything that could get him closer to you.
Seemingly unstoppable tears flowed from your eyes as Vecna got closer and closer to you. You pressed yourself further into the wall, and wanted to turn your head but found that you couldn’t. 
“Don’t cry for them,” Vecna told you, now only a few feet from reaching you, “They will be joining you and the others very soon, starting with the boy you love.” 
You were trembling in your spot, Vecna now standing before you. You were trying to speak, but no words were coming out, especially when he lifted his left hand up, those sharp, long claws bigger than your own face.
You stared up at Vecna, and whimpered slowly when he began to move his hand closer to you, “It is time.”
It was like he was grasping your mind, an intense wave of pain and fear washing over you like the waves of the ocean during a storm. You couldn’t move. There was no escape, this time Vecna wasn’t going to let you go. It was time for you to join him. 
“Dustin! Hurry up-” Steve's words were cut off when he felt you move in arms. His eyes flashed back toward you, and he watched as your body began to levitate into the air. 
“SHIT,” Dustin shouted as he finally inserted the mixtape into the boombox and began to move it to track 3 like Steve said. The song that began to play made Dustin pause momentarily, and even he knew how much you liked this song. 
‘I’ve got a dream about an angel on the beach…and the perfect waves are starting to come…
…his hair is flying out in ribbons of gold and his touch has got the power to stun…’
The tips of Vecna’s claws were almost touching your face, but he had suddenly stopped when the lyrics of the song echoed behind him.
The grip Vecna had on your mind faltered as you recognized the Fire Inc. song Ellen Aim performs at the end of Streets of Fire. Your eyes moved past Vecna toward the source of the song, and fell onto what looked like a tear in this world Vecna had created in your head. 
You saw yourself in Steve’s room, your body levitating into the air, and Steve and Dustin. Steve was saying something to you. Your eyes narrowed slightly, trying to listen to what he was saying over the music.
‘But I don’t see any Angels in the city, I don’t hear any holy choirs sing… And if I can't get an Angel. I can still get a boy. And the boy will be the next best thing, the next best thing to an Angel.’
Steve’s voice began to break through as well. It was faint, but you could still hear and understand what he was saying. He was talking to you about your first date, and how you went to the drive-in to watch a whole other movie, but ended up watching this one. You didn’t even remember what the first movie was. 
Memories flooded through you, flashing through your mind quickly. You saw Steve on this first date, felt his hand take yours, and felt his lips meet yours for the first time. You never kissed on the first date, and he was the first and only exception. 
You saw Steve’s flushed face when he had climbed out of the pool following a swim race, and his eyes had lit up when he saw you there in your cheer uniform and pom poms cheering his name. You were the only cheerleader there. He had laughed and winked at you while you had blown a kiss. 
“They can’t help you,” Vecna told you, making your eyes shift back to him, “You belong here, with me, with Chrissy…” 
His hands began to inch closer, the tips of his claws barely touching your skin. 
Steve helplessly watched as your body slammed flat against the ceiling, and his first move was to grab Dustin and pull him against him, making him face away from the sight. Because of what Eddie had said about what happened to Chrissy, they knew what was going to happen next. 
“Her bones- they just snapped, and her eyes…it was like something was inside and-” Eddie had said in that boathouse the day before when you got your first vision.
He didn’t want Dustin to see that, especially not when it was his older sister. If he couldn’t protect you, he could at least shield Dustin and protect him. 
‘I’ve got a dream when the darkness is over….We’ll be lying in the rays of the sun.’ 
Ellen aim’s lyrics got to you again and you heard Dustin’s sobbing, your eyes moved past Vecna’s again to see your little brother in Steve’s arms, Steve shielding him from your body that was now pressed against the ceiling. 
More memories flashed in your mind. You saw the kids throwing popcorn at you and Steve at the movie theater during a matinee reshowing of Jaws, and heard Dustin say, “Are you seriously sucking face when someone is getting killed by a shark?”
You could hear their giggling from behind you, and a couple of gags that made you throw the popcorn back at them, but missing. 
‘But it’s only a dream and tonight is for real, you’ll never know what it means, but you'll know how it feels.’
You saw Robin forcing you to watch movies you never thought of watching before, you saw her laughing, and saw both her and Stevea arguing in their ridiculous Scoops Ahoy uniforms. 
You saw Steve running toward you after Starcourt, his face bruised up, yet he was still smiling and kissing you, happy that you were okay and you were alive. 
‘It’s gonna be over before you know it’s begun, it’s all we really got tonight…’
“N-No,” you said to Vecna suddenly, he stopped before he could sink his claws into the skin of your face, “No!” You found the strength to reach up with both hands and grasp the wet, sticky vines that collected around his collarbone and neck. You grasped and pulled, the tendrils squishing between your nails and fingers before you screamed and pulled it off with incredible strength. 
Vecna released you with a groan of pain, and you ducked underneath him, and raced toward them. You were a long way from running away from them at the trailer park, now running as fast as you could toward the end of this hall, back to your reality, back to your life, back to Dustin and back to Steve. 
You didn’t look back, Ellen Aim’s singing and Steve and Dustin’s calls to you blasting your ears, drowning out Vecna calling your name. 
‘Say a prayer in the darkness for the magic to come’
Ellen Aim sang as you inched closer and closer to your world. 
‘No matter what it seems tonight is what it means to be young…’
Your feet echoed with every step you took, your heart beating out of your chest as you ran and you ran and you ran, toward the music, toward your home.
“We have to help her, Steve, we can’t let him take her,” Dustin was crying, his words muffled against Steve’s shirt. Steve was shaking, and didn’t know what to say, and even if he did he couldn’t speak anyways. 
He was too distraught, shedding more tears than he’s ever shed before. He was going to lose you, he failed you, Vecna got to you before any of them could figure out how to stop him. He held Dustin against him tighter, and shut his eyes. 
“Just don’t look, Dustin, don’t look,” Steve even tried to cover his ears with his arms, hellbent on making sure Dustin doesn’t see or hear anything, “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry we couldn’t save you…” 
He clenched his teeth, the thought of Vecna being responsible sending a rage throughout him. His eyes were forced open, and profanities were falling from his lips all targeted toward Vecna. He didn’t know if he could hear him, but he wanted him to know that they were going to fuck him up for what he’s done, for who he’s done it to.
That was when you came back. 
Your eyes were suddenly back to normal, and Steve caught it the exact moment because a loud gasp for air escaped from you. Steve moved Dustin aside, practically throwing him on his bed, and stepping under you just as you became unstuck from the ceiling and fell.
Steve fell on the floor with you right on top of him, hyperventilating and gasping for air as you felt like you ran miles and miles to get back here. Your eyes frantically looked around you, becoming hyper aware of everything around you, but knowing that you were back here, you escaped.
It didn’t seem real at first, Steve’s soft calling of your name that wasn’t echoing and rather in real time.
Your fists closed around Steve’s shirt as you met his gaze, they were puffy and red and full of the greatest relief in the world. You pressed your forehead against his, and whispered to him that you were okay.
“I heard you, I heard you both and the song,” you said between your fast breaths, your voice trembling and still cracking, “I saw-” Your words were becoming less coherent as you broke down in Steve’s arms.
Steve sat you up then, keeping you in his lap and holding you against him. 
“It’s okay, you’re back, you don’t have to talk, not right now,” he told you quietly, his own voice matching yours. 
Dustin had watched in disbelief that you were okay, thinking that maybe it wasn’t even real, but when he heard you speak and Steve respond, he was off of the bed and on the floor next to you Steve. Tears of relief spilled from his eyes, and he wrapped his arms around you as well. 
Steve would ask you how you exactly got out, about what you had seen, about everything, but right now, he was beyond relieved that you were back, that you didn’t end up like Chrissy or Fred, that you finally fought back.
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mrs-gauche · 2 years
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“Your abilities declare the world real. Who, if not the Maker of this world, could grant such a gift?”
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simping-lya · 3 months
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Underfell!Sans Headcanons
- He's very sarcastic and because of that, comes off as rude. He worries every time that he might ha gone too far with you but you always laugh and joke with him. He's glad that he didn't mess things up but also wish he could shut up sometimes because he doesn't want you to think he's mean.
- He very much likes seeing you smile and hearing your laugh. Gets flustered over it very easily and gets embarrassed for feeling flustered. He denies that he's flustered and will blame it on something else that may or may not come off as rude.
- If you ask him for something he will grumble about it but will do it one hundred percent and somehow makes it even better. Ask him for a drink? He will give you your favorite beverage at the exact temperature you always like. He acts tough and say you don't have to thank him over those acts cuz it was nothing for him but he will be in a better mood after your thanks.
- He will cherish every gift you give him. It doesn't have to be something big, a single bracelet you gave will mean the world to him. He will use the gift or put it on display until it is so worn out, it can't be used anymore. It's a gift from you afterall and you mean the world to him so your gifts also mean the world to him.
- He's not the type to confess to you when he caught feelings, at least not instantly. He would think that he may be misunderstanding your behavior with him and the fear that he might scare you off by acting on his feelings will keep him from flirting back to you. However, if you make it so obvious that you like him to other people (cough cough Papyrus), Sans will confess after being reassured that you aren't being friendly.
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bogkeep · 7 months
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it was always a strange dichotomy. every middle school classmate i had told me i'd be a millionaire when i grew up, a Famouse Artisté. it's easy enough to imagine as a teen, i suppose: skill equals fame equals money. i was doubtful about this prophecy, not because i wasn't confident in my ability to draw, but because it was hard to imagine a world where i'd be paid for it.
it was an ice breaker game at summer camp. horrible one, really - everyone in a group were given a character profile. now we had to imagine that it was the zombie apocalypse, and the helicopter to safety was two seats short and we had argue why we deserved a spot. the character i got was an asshole doctor of some kind. i don't remember if i argued my way into the helicopter or not, but i do remember the feeling that's been hanging over me my entire life - if the apocalypse happens right now, i have nothing to contribute.
there's something really painful about it. i have cultivated a skill for my whole life, i can make art and tell stories that are entirely unique to me, there is no way to get someone else to create in the exact same way i can, and yet - i've contributed more to capitalist society by sitting in an empty hotel reception for eight hours a day.
which made me develop anxiety, to boot.
i illustrated two children's books. they're some of my best work. the contract i signed was industry standard and the indie author who had hired me was incredibly kind... but even after stock sold out i had earnt little more than some pocket change.
in high school we had an outing to dig our own snow caves that we would spend the night in. in teams, thankfully. i have so little physical strength to speak of, most i could do to help was clear away the snow rubble and toss it outside. i know, i know, my classmates reassured me it was an important job to do, i was an invaluable member of the group, sure - but it's that feeling, you know?
what would my task be in the communist solarpunk commune?
a person cannot be useless. it's a human being. they just exist, no ifs and buts about it. one can only be useless in the eyes of an ableist, capitalist society that sees no value in being alive beyond production and profit.
sometimes i receive messages from internet strangers to tell me something i said - often several years ago - was helpful to them. maybe it was a throwaway comment on a forum. maybe it was replying to a question they could've googled the answer to. maybe it was an encouraging reply to someone's artwork. turns out it mattered to someone. huh.
of course you can learn new skills. i have learnt plenty over the years! i have also learnt that there are limitations to what i can do. that some of the obstacles i face are not in fact obstacles everyone faces. it's not that i can't break tasks into smaller steps, it's more that half of those steps are going to be "rinse your hands because you Touched a Thing and now you're going to have to touch Another Thing." i wonder if that's adding to my cognitive load or something.
i was never raised to be a man, so by all accounts i do not understand why i'm so haunted by the spectre of toxic masculinity - what would i do if i was a medieval peasant and a war broke out? what if i was in a pre-historic hunter gatherer society and i was expected to hunt? what if i was a humble farm boy discovering the sword of the chosen one and the world depended on my non-existing courage to face certain death?
look, it's stupid. these are not scenarios i will find myself in. besides, pre-historic humans depended on community and taking care of each other. that's how we survive.
i'm not useless and i decided to make peace with being useless anyway.
we're surrounded by digital clocks. we can't really escape them. do we need watchmakers? would they save me a spot in the zombie apocalypse helicopter? no, don't answer that. i'm just happy i found something that requires a light touch and an observant eye.
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fromtheseventhhell · 6 months
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Zutaras are really the original self-insert, "we understand the story soooooo much better than everybody else" girlies and they just never moved on
#anti zutara#no offense to anyone who ships it and follows me but I'm so over the shipping wars of this show that aired almost 20 years ago 😭#at some point you guys are gonna need to hang it up cause there's a sequel series and these people are married with children like...#we get it if you were Katara you would've chosen Zuko but guess what?! you aren't and need to stop projecting onto her#the pretending to care about Katara is what really gets me cause she's never even implied to have romantic feelings for him#or vice-versa + it ignores her anger towards him and how long it took her to forgive him + rightfully so#criticizing the writing for Kataang is one thing but turning around and shipping Zutara while doing so is crazy work#ship it if you want but please stop pretending it makes more sense when both Zuko and Katara have their own separate romances 😭#love how people have to age Aang down + infantilize him and erase Mai to make it work but sure it's the better option#stop erasing Katara's arc and development just to claim that Aang brings her down when she's been a bad-ass since season 1#reducing her arc to that ONE moment with Zuko and ignoring all of her other development just to prop up a ship is nasty#Katara isn't a reward for Aang and she sure as hell isn't one for Zuko stop belittling her like that#if y'all didn't watch ATLA when you were 12 and think Zuko was cute this ship wouldn't even exist#thinking about that post that said the writers /pandered to dudebros/ like we all weren't children the delusion is crazy sdfssdfsdfsd#also seeing AANG of all characters getting whacked for a ship...please get a life and stay away from him#antizutara
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ryllen · 7 months
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"Bran is practically my brother's cat" - is what i would like to think
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crystallizsch · 9 days
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Hello Ian! ♡
I'm so glad you liked the first Jamiyuu fic I wrote! Here is the fic we discussed based on your glomas drawings!
I hope you enjoy! ♡
No matter the crowd, no matter the room, Jamil and Yuusha are always able to find each other somehow.
A masquerade where masks are adorn, identities meant to be concealed. Yet, here they were again, their eyes locking from across the room.
The ballroom was filled with people, some dancing while others mingled. Jamil stood near some of the others, looking around and taking in the sights. The room was extravagant, from the architecture, to the decor, to the outfits of those in attendance. His gaze lingered on the dance floor for a moment, watching couples as they twirled around. They looked to be in their own world, laughing and enjoying the company of their partner as they danced. The sight made Jamil's thoughts stray for a moment, imagining himself out there, dancing with Yuusha.
He shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind, his eyes leaving the dance floor. As he looked away he locked eyes with someone across the room, the very person that wouldn't leave his thoughts. It was just like at Night Raven, during one of Kalim's parties or in the halls, his eyes never failing to find Yuusha's. Just what was it about her, that he couldn't look away? Just what was it about her, that caused him to stare?
At first it wasn't anything nice, he had plans after all, goals that he needed to achieve. He had to keep an eye out, had to watch out for her, as he couldn't let anything, or anyone, interfere. Yet, as his plans crumbled before him, he found himself still looking, still watching, unable to look away. They had grown closer since then, closer than Jamil could have imagined.
He found himself smiling, his eyes still locked with Yuusha's as she smiled back. They've truly come far from how they started, Jamil closing his eyes as he turned away. As he was debating leaving, he heard someone approach him, a familiar voice behind him,
"Where do you think you're going?"
He turns to find Yuusha standing before him, her hand held out towards him,
"I believe you owe me a dance"
He looks at her, at her outstretched hand, and considers it. Here, they weren't Yuusha and Jamil. Here, they were strangers, their masks making their identities. As he takes her hand and they make their way to the dance floor, he pretends. He pretends that they met under better circumstances, holding her close. He pretends that she was his, as they twirl by other couples. He hopes this won't be their last dance, pretending the masquerade didn't have to end.
Oh, to dance with you, forever and always
No matter where or when, my hand will always reach out for you
My first dance, my last dance, the only dance I crave
Let my love move you, with the words I dare not say ♡
Thank you! ♡
HELP I AM SOBBINGG --
I’M JUST GIGGLING KICKING MY FEET EVERY TIME I REREAD THIS IM HNDBAJSHS THANK YOU
I REALLY LOVE YOUR TAKE ON MY GLOMAS POST IM NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS --
my glomas brainrot hngghh and dancing is one of yuusha and jamil's love languages so i'm just ,,,, aaghhhh save me
BUT ANYWAYS IM GONNA RAMBLE A BIT -- (also i love the whole thing i just want to point out the things that im most crazy about hdshsj)
Just what was it about her, that he couldn't look away? Just what was it about her, that caused him to stare? At first it wasn't anything nice, he had plans after all, goals that he needed to achieve. He had to keep an eye out, had to watch out for her, as he couldn't let anything, or anyone, interfere. Yet, as his plans crumbled before him, he found himself still looking, still watching, unable to look away.
ur honor ;;; his plans are being foiled by this woman how is jamil going to save himself from this (he cannot)
AKHDJSKSJ OKAY SO
i’ve been crazy about the idea with jamil being having future plans for him and himself only and then suddenly he finds someone that he actually genuinely likes that he cant imagine those plans without them???
ugh good food good food i’m so happy this was here it is SO cute 😭💕
Here, they weren't Yuusha and Jamil. Here, they were strangers, their masks making their identities. As he takes her hand and they make their way to the dance floor, he pretends. He pretends that they met under better circumstances, holding her close. He pretends that she was his, as they twirl by other couples. He hopes this won't be their last dance, pretending the masquerade didn't have to end.
AUGHHH MY HEARTTT
jamil sir all you do is pretend it is time to let your true colors (and feelings) fly
i love that he is thinking about the what ifs and also how he is hoping he continues to spend time with her knowing it’s not gonna be possible
AND ALSO the line “they weren’t Yuusha and Jamil” and the following one -
i am goin insane about it i don’t know how to put it all properly into words but im gonna try --
like YEAH despite the masks, despite knowing who each other is underneath it, they don’t truly know each other, but it doesn’t matter because right now it’s just this dance, nothing else, and only each other 🥺🥺🥺
Oh, to dance with you, forever and always No matter where or when, my hand will always reach out for you My first dance, my last dance, the only dance I crave Let my love move you, with the words I dare not say ♡
AND THIS LAST PART ^^^^^^ I’M OBSESSED THAT YOU ENDED IT WITH THIS IT’S SO ADORABLE AND SO FLUFFY
my thoughts on this too is basically the last thing that i said about only being them in their own world basically especially with the last line ,,, oughh i’m just sobbinf --
AAHHHH ANYWAYS I ATE SO WELL WITH THESE SHEEP YOU HAVE NO IDEA THANK YOU
AND I COULDNT HELP IT BUT I DREW FOR THEM AGAIN AHHH
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(ack the masks kind of hid their expressions so i didnt put it on them and i realized that’s kind of against the point but im stubborn and i NEED to show their expressions)
(also this hamilton lyric fits the vibe of this but omg this musical needs to leave me aloneeeee)
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clownboymcchucklefuck · 6 months
Text
Virgil Evans Analysis
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Analysis under the cut hehehe
Virgil is definitely one of my favorite yanderes just because of how deep his character is. Something about the mix of trauma and also just pure obsession and desperation go together perfectly. So first off, trauma and this man has been through some shit especially since his trauma is what makes him a yandere.
-Virgil’s Backstory:
First of all, a few days before Virgil’s tenth birthday he had an argument with his father who then had to go and visit his sister whose husband had passed away from another country and went on a plane. There was a malfunction during the flight which sadly killed Thomas. It’s pretty clear that this had a hard impact on Virgil and his childhood considering that he had to go to therapy due to his mom noticing that he coped by playing the games his father had bought him before he died in his alone time. 
In highschool he joined a track team and was the second fastest runner but then later quit since he figured that wasn't what he wanted to do for the rest of his life, his sister Sarah introduced him to theater and all this ends up showing a lot in his yandere behavior but right now we talking about traumatic backstory so shhhhhhh. He started a band with a few of his friends and it was going pretty well for him until one of his band mates started a rumor about him ‘sleeping around’ just because Virgil politely declined their love confession. Virgil got so mad that the bandmate couldn't handle the rejection that bro literally whooped their ass.
During college Virgil spent most of his time hanging out with his younger siblings and helping his mom with the house when she wasn't able to be home. He was doing very well mentally and was even considering getting himself back out there to start dating again. But one day as he sat in his house he started to question the state of his reality, That's when everything around him had started to glitch. Virgil could only watch and cry as he watched his family and everything he thought was home disintegrate and fade away in front of him. 
Leaving only him. All alone. 
-Virgil’s Yandere Behavior:
Oh dear.
Okay but as sweet and fluffy Virgil he is not one to fuck around with. I say this because I have literally asked so many questions, done so much research to say that escaping Virgil might as well be impossible. 
In that case that you do run away Virgil can 1, track you down using technology (Your phone plus other people's devices around you.) 2, will crossdress and mimic a woman's voice using his theatrical talents to gain your trust before revealing his identity and taking you back. Keep in mind that getting caught by Virgil after trying to escape also gets you the bye bye leg movement treatment where he puts you to sleep before paralyzing your legs. Also just running away period is difficult too, mf taking morning jogs and being the second faster runner in track is definitely catching my iron deficient ass.
Also you can’t hide anything from elf boy. I did send an ask because I saw some people trying to trick Virgil by revealing their plan in Spanish but since Spanish is one of the three languages Virgil speaks it didn't work. I tried the same thing but instead I used dutch. But surprise surprise even if you don't speak his languages they still go through his code and translate it for him. Also in Yoshi’s words, “he has your ip, your home address too, your government files say alot about you”. 
Virgil is always watching you. He watches everywhere you go. It doesn't matter if you're in his world or your world he can watch you. I innately thought that he could only do this through devices but no. Devices or not he always finds a way. He can also crawl through devices and you can’t stop him either. (Throw shit at him anyways though.) and this also means he can drag you back to his dimension too. 
Watches you sleep and steals your shit (Clothes) kjasnjkcnask-
He's a fae. That's a danger in itself. He can put curses and hexes on people if they have feelings for MC. But that's usually after he stalks your friend for any information to blackmail them about to get them away from MC. Same thing goes for if say a roommate is hurting MC then he’ll blackmail them to get them away from you but if they don't then he’s not afraid to take matters into his own hands. 
It is also impossible to get away from him by fighting. It’s been talked about a few times but Virgil was in alot of fights during highschool with different types of species so he definitely knows what he's doing when it comes to fighting. Virgil also doesn't feel normal pain like a human, throwback to when a ask stabbed him and he just casually said ow and pulled the knife out. He feels pain but nearly as much as a human does.
Now doing research for this theory and reading through all the WYS posts I found something and I'm shocked how much people forgot about it:
Even after death, he still knows who you are when you are a different identity.
-Overall Analysis: 
Virgil is very patient, calm and gentle with MC but at the same time he’s clearly not one to fuck with. If MC pushes the right buttons it can push him to curse MC and basically ruin their life. But that's extremely rare. He is a fae and despite being gentle and caring he can be dangerous. Whenever he paralyzes MC’s legs he doesn't know what he's done until it's already been done. A trait that is in Virgil whether it be yandere or OG he is always a caretaker, yandere Virgil however tends to have more twisted ways/delusional ways however. But at the same time he does prefer to take the more patient routes and kidnapping MC is a last resort.
Virgil is very family oriented, we can see that from his childhood, how he kept his dads necklace and how he treats his siblings. Virgil misses his family dearly and he’s clearly traumatized from the event. Something I find terrifying is that Virgil doesn't care if MC wants a relationship with him or just wants a roommate type of thing. He just doesn't want to be alone. Don’t leave him alone. You’re the only person that exists besides him. You can’t leave.
D̸͚͍̜̠͈̘͈͖̈̌̎͘Ǫ̶͕͓̻̝̺̺̗̩͉͠N̸̢̖̪͈̻̺̈́̋̓̎̅͠T̷̟̘̮̣͓̤̤͓̎̎̕ ̷̨̧̗̺̮͕̘̫͖̆͂̃͋͗̐̌͑͛́L̶̨̢̢͙̲̥̠̞͆̂̿͆̒̚͜E̷̡͔͖̞̤̮͚̬̰̐́͆̃̐̋̇̆̄̿͂́͜Ä̵̛͇̱̣̩͚̯̖̞̥̭́̽̓͗͊́̄̀ͅV̶͚́͊̓̀͘E̵̦̯͔͖̼͎͓̻̰͐̈́̐̕̕͠͝ ̸̘̤̥̳̆̅̆̃͋̏̔͠ͅH̴̼͖̉Ȉ̴͉̀̓͌͌̈̏̋͑̈́͘M̵̗̯̭͇̏͂̀̈́̿̽̄́͜ ̵̨͇̥̫͉̦̳̘̓͛̄̈́̎͒͘͜͝ͅA̶̼̯̞̔̅́̐͝L̵̻̠͖̜̥̊̈́O̵̯̘͂͐̅̎́̇͋͒̕N̷̨̢̯̦̙̜̙͉͍̽̑͒͑͘͜Ę̴̹̣̼͔͍̰̱̝̭́̽́̇͂̏̾.̴̨̣͍̙͖̯͈̜̂̀̈́ ̵̡̱̩͇̹͔̠̩̲̏̄̉̀H̵̡̬̰͕̖̻͇̳̬̓̓Ė̵̞̿̚ ̷̢̢̺̜̥̮͖̝̝̫̺̪̆̔̆̊̅̍̒͋̈́͘͝͝H̵͓̰̓͗A̴͈͓̓͛͒̾͋̔̃̕͝͝T̶̨̳̩̲̫̹̫̻̖̅͗̂̆̿͑͜͠Ę̵̗̗̰͍͎͖̰͂͘Ṣ̶̰͕͉̫͍̞̩͙̫̈́̉̐̔̂͒̎ ̵̟̦̙̳͚̗̦͇̊͑̉̍ͅỊ̵̢̞͚̥͇̺͖͔̣̹̈̿̉̀T̸̗̆̈̂́̊̕͝ ̸̨̡̳̮̼̮̥̔̏̏̅̂̀͝͝ͅḦ̵̱̘̌̈́̐͑̽́̀͒͋͘͝E̸͉̋̽ͅŖ̶̞̭͉͙͈̙̹͒̃͋̀̍̎̀̋̑͜͠Ę̶̟̣̝̮̰̺̹̙̻̼̐̂̏̋̂͆̅͋͘.̶͍̤̠̹̙̖̜͓͂̅͂̽͝ ̵̖̫̣̹̻̖̭̑̀͌̔H̸̺͔̳̤̥̞̬̊E̴̢̺̹̻̗̱̞͚̬̱̐͑̏̅̈́̓̈́͘͜'̵̣̞͔̼̈́̓̏̄̽̈͒͛̒̀̕Š̸̢̧̩̥͉͔͎̩̮̦̽̀́́͊̀̑̀̓ ̵̨͓̜̑̀̎͗͗̑̈́̔Ś̷͔͈̖̳̦̖̝̫͕̩̑́͌̐̀̌̅̓̃̚͘O̵͚͉̞̽̿̚Ȓ̵̛̹͚̤̃͋́͛͗̾̒͗Ŕ̶̨͚͈̹͚̮͂͗͛͜͝Y̴̪͍̪̼͖͇̋͂̓́̃̄̈́͘ ̵̨̯̳̫͖̞̬̦̌̉̒̿̒̇̽̂̂̚͘͝Ì̵̡̝͔̠̭̊̅̀́͘T̷̲̜͕̩͛̃̀̈́̀͌̇͌͗͘ ̶͇̦̠͉̭͕̯̏̍͌͂H̶̘̰̙̖̠̜̅͂A̷̮̩̝͖̗̿̐̐́̇̂͠͝S̸̢̞̤͛̀̊ ̷̢̺̮̘͍̬̥͙̦̃̋̽̿͛̈̀̅̓͜T̶̡̺͕̟̻͉̞͂̓̈́̓̇ͅÓ̴̜̝̬͎̍̑ ̴̢̛̞̤̥̯̩͖̳̝͉̱̂́̑̀̔͒͊̕B̶̨̧̙̘̬͖̱̙̗͕͌͑͆͊̌͛̒̆̉̆̓̕Ȩ̴͖̥͆̕ ̴̦̗͉͚̱̟͖͎̀͊̃̃͜͝T̸̡͎͓̥̝̘͕̪͚̖͙͌̂͐̍͜H̴̻͓̫̘̬͎͓͎̾̏̉͌̔I̸̙̒S̸͖̩͙̺̩͍̖͔̠̘̎̊̓̎̍̒̎͐̍̌̔̄ ̷̨̡̪̖̖̼͙͙̭̣̳̔̈́̒́̿W̸̛͖̙̪͎̄̓͐͆̑̀̾̕̚̚Å̷̧̜͈Ỳ̸͎̫̃̃͌͝.̷̙͍͉̣̤̈́̂͆̇́ ̶͚̻̫̟̘̺̗̋̈́̌̉́͋͋͗̕͠Y̶̭̜̘̭͕͖̱̆̂̆̏͜͜Ò̸̡͍̖̲̮̬̻̗̊̂̽U̴̧͔̗͓̻̥͚͓̙̒͠'̴̢͎̝͍͕̪̈́Ṟ̴͓͝Ẽ̷̢̯̰̞̳͉̬̻̠̻͗́̈̋̃̆̓̅̏̆̄ ̴̻̃̿͗̃̾̏͘T̶̨͇̖̖̰͚̺̠̪͈̙̟͒̿͊̆͝Ḧ̴̹̝̘́͆È̴̱̤̬͉͛̋͗͛͒̈͝ ̴̢̠̖̺̘͓̲̻̹͎̆̄̇̓͗́̈́̒́̽͝͝O̵̙̫̼̼̜̠͖̾̓͛͆N̷̺̑̌̑̏̿̃̚L̸̨̻̞͓͑̌͠Ÿ̷̘̰̮̹͇̗̺́̎̌ͅ ̸̹͈̟͕̹̣͛͋̕ͅƠ̶̛̛̰̙̪̝̠̦̫̑̈́̑͛͑́͜Ņ̸̢͈̭̤̲̠̣͍̻͓̂̅̎̓͜͝͝È̷̞͇̩̯̥͚ ̶̧̩̜̤̬̣͇̠͇̻͙͑̀̃͊̀͌͒̇̔͘̚̕H̶͕͖̪͎͉͊̓́̍̀̿͗́̑̕̚͜E̷̞̿̐͊̌̾͑̇́̇̐͝ ̴͎̙̬̀̐̀͐͋́͊̈̎̈͜C̶̛̜͕̘̙͓̞̗̮̬̽̍͑͋́̾̉͠͝ͅA̸̘͉͕̺̪̦͙̬̰͛͐́̊̂̊͘N̶̫̻̖̜̳̤͚̣̱̜̙͗̾̀̔̊̐̚ ̶̛̺̤͍̠̭͕̅̂͋̆̕̕͠T̷̠̣̿̎͂̽̔̈̚͝Ắ̴̧̢̠̞͈̩̣͚̱̭̄͐̑̐̔̽̉͊̕͜L̵͔̯̱͎̭͑̓̋̾̉̅̃̒̀̾̂͝K̶̮̫̙̻̪͆̓̐̊͒̅̊ ̴̧̻̖̈̽̈̽̾́̓́̕͘͝͝T̷̢̡̨̤͉̤̟̠́̉̓̈̇͗Ő̷͔̦̤̜̒͂̒̀̓̉̔.̸̪͐ ̸̩͒͆̾͐̓̓̎̉͝P̵̧̧̭͚̥̺̟̝͉̹̯͛Ļ̸̖̖͝E̶͍̯̰̭͈͕̥̭̦̮͍̗͌̽̈́̕͠A̷̡̟͕͌̎̅͛̽͋̎̊̕S̵̡̧̲̟̣̱̤͕̗͙̈́̀́̈́̈́͋̈́͆̏E̸͔̞͖͑̓̽͛̌̐̈̏̇̕ ̴̨̝̺̰̦̫̦̮̬̌̿́̐̏ͅͅD̸̫̱͔̰̦̯̠̘̩́̈́̀͆̀̈́̈́̀͌͝Ơ̷̧̫͍̟̿͌͛̐Ń̸̡̛͎̠̞̇͂̕'̵̨̢̢̦̩͙̰̻̹̗͛͗͆̓̋̾̔̐͠T̴̼̘́̇̌̀̈̏͝ ̶̥̪̲͚̮̟͑͐̈L̴̰̂͌̏̉͒E̸̡̟̦̺͙͓̙̖͑͂͌̅͛̒̕͝ͅA̵̭͗͗͛̾̽V̵̥͚̯͙̐͊̓͐̽͝Ë̷̝̩̞̺̟̓̌̈̂͗̎̎͝.̸̡̟͕̮͉̱̪̱͐̄̀̒̾̅̒͐̽̊͗̚ ̵̢̧͍̩̯̱͒̽͐̌̏̇̿̾̚͜͝I̶̹̤͝T̴̥͎̱̝̫̬̘̗̬̱̰̆͛̂ͅ'̸̢̺͈̦̥̱̳̻͕͕̦͉̆͑̋̾Ŝ̶̲̤̀̊̓̀ ̴̢̛͎̲̟̜̹͓͍͋̆̉̽̔̚S̶̢̪̩̞̦͓̳̟͇͉̽̐̓̉͆́̀͐̎̾̑͜͝Ơ̴̢͉͚̏͆̃̓̋̀͆ ̶͔̎̉̓̏̾L̷̫̖̮̮̪̋͋͆͋̍͘͝͝Ơ̵̡̢̝͕̲̫̜̝͉̿́̔̄͛̎͛̃̋͘N̶̢̫̝͎̩̻̻͋̈́͛͋̓̈́̍̔́͌͝͝Ȩ̸̰̼̉̔̅͋̂̉͛̾Ḻ̴̨̢̦̫͔̼̥͉̲̗̼̓́͐̔̚Y̸̡̳̊.̶̨͔̰͉̬̳̤̹͎̹͕̗̾̒̾́͛̄̋̅͑̅͗͠
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Word count: 1.2k
Virgil belongs to @wouldyoustayvn/@turquoisesea01
Tags for my pookies 🤭
@dont-wannadothis-anymore @mysticnebula @mr-ritza
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teecupangel · 4 months
Note
After Mirage I went straight to Valhalla for the first time cause I love Basim. I just got to the Oxenfordscire arc to when you free the thegns. And right now Im following Siguard and Basim walk halfway across the map becuase their horses are constantly running into them and this is harlarious.
Then I imagined it as another Desmond being reborn and him doing that to Siguard was too funny.
I’m going to assume this is another case of Desmond becoming a horse AU and roll with it XD
.
Eivor has no idea what was happening.
Desmond was one of the best horses in Ravensthorpe.
Hytham had been the one to capture him near their settlement a few weeks after they had landed.
According to Hytham, Desmond had approached him a day after he taught Eivor how to do a leap of faith and he managed to ‘capture’ him.
When Hytham recounted the story to Eivor, Desmond had let out a huffing sound that made Hytham hush him, as if the two were keeping a secret.
If Eivor was to make a guess, she believes Hytham didn’t capture Desmond and more like bribed him or maybe even pleaded with him.
That’s what Eivor learned about Desmond.
He does not do well with being pulled or hit. He’d even kick and jump away.
But talking to him and asking him to run or to go left?
He’d do it if one was to ask nicely.
Or…
Eivor’s try and tested method, give Desmond berries.
They were meant to be Eivor’s emergency provisions but berries were plenty around these parts so she didn’t mind sharing them to Desmond for a much smoother ride.
That was why she had not been surprised that Hytham has asked Desmond to be Basim’s horse.
Basim had been amused with his acolyte talking to a horse like he could understand him but he humored Hytham and spoke to Desmond the same way.
Sigurd had been confused but paid it no heed.
And Eivor whispered to Desmond to behave.
And now…
Eivor has no way of explaining to the two men that the horses are running away from them because Desmond ordered Sigurd’s horse to follow him.
She had seen Desmond do it multiple times before.
She was already starting to believe Desmond is not just any ordinary horse… that he might even be a shapeshifter…
Might even be Loki in disguise.
She was sure Desmond is doing this not to tease them but because he had gotten fed up as well.
Or…
Maybe Eivor is just projecting her own feelings.
What she will say is that…
There really was no need to get even her horse to follow him, making them run towards them until they’re near and just running away.
Soon, Sigurd was going to snap and tell them to just find new horses.
And only then will Desmond and the horses return and let them ride them.
Eivor was sure of it.
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telekitnetic-art · 1 year
Note
Have you seen the formline art in splatoon? It's present in a variety of salmon run decals and on some of the locker graffiti. Idk if the Devs just googled "salmon art" and got indigenous art and decided to copy it or what. Not sure how I feel about it personally.
Long post incoming, gonna put a break here. Also sorry for the late response, I wanted to take a couple days to formalize my thoughts together before responding fully.
I have, I remember noticing in 2018-2019 (when i first started playing splatoon 2) how much one of the decals/graffiti located on the ruins of ark polaris back in 2 sort of resembled a formline bear and salmon. (near the logo in this screenshot, I couldn't find a clear picture online)
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Back in 2019, it was pretty easy to think of it as coincidence or a stretch for a comparison. But with splatoon 3's salmon run decals, the resemblance is far easier to see, specifically with the TS-ORBRS graffiti and the TS-SCHL graffiti.
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(also this was the best image size I could find for the graffiti images, sorry)
A couple of the banners have the designs on them as well:
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The website Sealaska Heritage has info such as textbooks and an online doc about formline art (specifically geared towards Haida, Tlingit, and Tsimshian nations' style) with lots of info about formline art, and the Seattle Art Museum website has an info sheet (with credits listed as being from the Sealaska Heritage site as well) breaking down some of the basic shapes of formline art.
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with this chart, you can definitely begin to notice the similarities between the Salmon Run graffiti and formline art. the ovoids, crescents, and u-shapes appear noticeably in some of the graffiti such as ORBRS and SCHL.
For perspective, here are some formline pieces featuring salmon or fish from various Indigenous artists from various nations.
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"sk’ug sdang" (Two Dog Salmon) by Robert Davidson (Haida)
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"metal medallion", by Crystal Kaakeeyáa Rose Demientieff Worl (Tlingit Athabascan)
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"Salmon People" by Alano Edzerza (Tahltan)
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"Jumping Chum" by Stephanie Anderson (Wet'suwet'en)
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"Salmon" by Art Thompson (Nuu-chah-nulth)
And that's literally just the surface of dozens of Indigenous artists from the PNW.
With these pieces, you can begin to see the resemblance that the graffiti designs have. A lot of the heads follow the pattern of utilizing ovoids for both the head and eyes, and u-shapes for the bodies and crescents to fill in specific areas are also common. For example, TS-SCHL has a small school of fish where the bodies are entire ovoids.
However, there are a couple flaws in the graffiti designs too. With a few of the designs, you can see they utilize the u-shape (see the formline shape breakdown from Sealaska again) in designs like TS-WHP and TS-SMFR. I can't speak for every Indigenous formline artist ever, but from how I've been taught to design formline art from my family, the u-shape should connect to the rest of the form instead of free-floating. I drew a quick example here:
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you can see similar mistakes with a different kind of u-shape with TS-RLPL and TS-C0HK.
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Another very specific mistake that takes a bit of squinting to make out is that ovoids are sort of top-heavy, for lack of a term I can't think of right now. The line or the area should be thicker on the top then the bottom. This mistake is frequent in the graffiti designs utilizing ovoid or ovoid adjacent face or body shapes, like TS-ORBRS, TS-C0HK or TS-SCHL.
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Full disclaimer, I am not an expert at formline art. I've been practicing it under the tutelage of my aunt and father for about 3 or so years now, and there are definitely cultural variations that come into play as well. My culture's formline art style can look completely different from someone who is Haida or otherwise. This critique of the graffiti designs is based off my knowledge and skill at formline art, as well as critique and feedback that I've gotten from family. Formline art isn't just something you look at and replicate, there is a specific process of utilizing the shapes and negative space that you need to account for too. Some shapes have their own rules for how they're used as well.
Despite the beginner mistakes, the clear resemblances are pretty definitive proof that a good section of the sticker/graffiti designs for the salmonids are meant to be, or at the very least based off of or inspired by, formline art.
Splatoon's lore has a lot of elements of taking inspiration from real life culture (which is sort of one of the main elements of the story, the squids and octos are basing their society off long dead humans). Hell, Shiver and Frye are two prime examples of Splatoon working in real world culture into their setting and characters.
With that in mind, using an art style that's exclusive to an ethnicity of people as inspiration or baseline reference for the game mode that's all about taking natural resources from a species that in-game dialogue tends to treat as dangerous and lesser-minded is... not a good choice. Especially an ethnicity that has historically been ravaged and attacked by settlers for natural resources.
Now, technically if you do digging into lore for salmon run, you can find out that the salmonid are not as simple-minded as the dialogue in-game (I am staring directly at the deep cut big run announcement dialogue we've gotten so far -_-) makes them out to be. The salmonids do trades and commerce with the octarians for equipment and gear. That's why they have such technically high tech gear, like the scrappers with their shields that actually resemble octarian shields and the flyfish with their missiles and flying aircraft. That's also why power eggs show up in the story mode; they're from the salmonids' trades with the octarians.
So the salmonid could technically be as just as smart as the inklings, which is why the dialogue and some of the portrayals of the salmonid are confusing and contradictory (shiver's dialogue from the first big run, that one promo picture of an inkling walking a smallfry on a leash????). I think a good bit of the fanbase sort of thinks of the little buddy we get during the game as a pet, and I'm sure that much more of the fanbase/playerbase doesn't really care about the lore whatsoever. Salmonids sort of have a similar vibe to me as hilichurls from Genshin Impact, where the lore tells you that they're smarter than people assume while NPCs talk of them as less intelligent monsters. And you're also caught in this paradox where killing/fighting them feels morally wrong but the gameplay loop has you continuously doing that while also telling you on the downlow that you should sort of feel bad about it.
Rassicas did a really good video on translating salmonid lore from various interviews, which is where I learned a lot about the salmonid lore that doesn't really get explained/brought up in the game.
The usage of formline art in Splatoon has me sort of mixed on my opinion, because besides using an Indigenous art style for an enemy species that are considered lesser in intelligence by the NPCs, Indigenous art and culture as a whole has suffered a lot under colonialism. I don't know how much awareness whoever is reading this has about Indigenous history and colonialism, but Indigenous culture as a whole was banned in North America by the respective governments from being practiced by the respective cultural groups. Things such as ceremonies, regalia, and even practicing formline art were banned from being used by Indigenous people. Non-Indigenous people however were free to use it, which is why a lot of bastardized versions of Indigenous regalia and culture exists. You can see it in non-indigenous spiritual practices utilizing Indigenous practices and terminology like spirit animals and dreamcatchers, and sports teams utilizing Indigenous culture in its labelling and mascots. That is where cultural appropriation comes into play. And before I get anybody commenting about this, the salmonid formlines don't count as "cultural appreciation" because as far as the info available is concerned, there wasn't any Indigenous people that were consulted for the designs. And even if there were, I again have mixed feelings about Splatoon utilizing an Indigenous art style as a design piece for an enemy character in the franchise.
On another note, this isn't the first time Indigenous cultural appropriation has popped up in the Splatoon franchise. There was actually a headgear that was unreleased in the first Splatoon game called "Warrior Headdress", and you can guess what it looked like.
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Yeah. That was all levels of yikes and I'm thankful as hell that it didn't make it into the game (technically it's not in the game as a wearable item, but you can spot it at the very back of the headgear shop ingame)
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So Splatoon has utilized Indigenous culture as inspiration beforehand with the games, so it's not much of a stretch anymore to think that the salmon run graffiti designs were based off formline art or was an attempt at formline art.
I'm not really sold on the idea that the salmonid are meant to be representative of Indigenous people though, nor do I believe that utilizing formline art for the salmonid was a malicious decision. But it was a slightly ignorant decision at best, because again using Indigenous specific art for a species of enemies that gets fought for their natural resources and is referred to by some of the NPCs as basically being lesser-minded animals is really not a good decision.
This whole thread is not meant as a guilt trip for anyone who likes the salmonid lore, has bought any of the salmonid graffiti stickers, or enjoys salmon run, nor is it an accusation of the devs for maliciously misusing Indigenous culture. I actually really enjoy salmon run for it's PSP and concept, but this design aspect gives me mixed feelings as an Indigenous person. And to be honest it's hard to label intentions or the thought process because there isn't any info available on the development of salmon run and those graffiti designs specifically. So it's hard to know if the devs employed an Indigenous artist for feedback or if they indeed just looked at some formline art of salmon and tried to replicate it or used it as inspiration. I'm inclined to believe the latter judging by the beginner formline mistakes seen in some of the designs. There is an art book coming out soon for Splatoon 3, so maybe that will give more info.
To wrap this all up, I don't think there is really anything to be done about the designs. The game has been out for a while and I don't know if the game would change the designs at this point. I also don't think this should stop people from buying the sticker designs in game or playing salmon run. However, it is important to learn about the context of these designs so that you know why they exist and why they can be harmful, and so devs and creators can avoid making the same mistake in the future, and so Indigenous issues with cultural appropriation can be made more aware in the public space and not be ridiculed by non-Indigenous people. And again, I am just one Indigenous person so there may be other opinions from other Indigenous people on the graffiti designs and how they should be handled or viewed.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading and have a good day!! Be sure to check out some actual Formline art made by Indigenous people, like the ones I listed near the top of the post!
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holyshonks · 12 days
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Why I love Rojka 'Kasaan (and you should, too)
If Master Chief blew up a Covenant homeworld, you might look at him differently. You might consider civilian casualties and the cruel calculus of war and wince. His story helpfully side-steps this issue by making it so that it simply never happens. Humanity never found Covenant homeworlds during the war soon enough to target them. Until Glyke.
If we expect cooperation and remorse from ex-Covenant who destroyed human worlds, what do we expect from a Sangheili fleetmaster whose own world was destroyed by Spartans? That's Rojka's story.
Rojka was once a fleetmaster, but was demoted after the Changing of the Guard, sent to a shipyard to repair ships rather than command them. As a result, he was not present for the attack on Reach or the assault on Earth.
When Reach fell, Spartan-II Gray Team was granted permission to target and destroy Covenant homeworlds in what was clearly an act of retaliation. They were cleared to destroy the Sangheili colony Glyke before comms were lost with ONI. Unbeknownst to them, the human-Sangheili ceasefire was initiated just before they decided on destroying the planet, effectively betraying the fresh alliance between humans and Sangheili. Rojka, a Glyke native, lost most of his family.
During the Great Schism, Rojka sided with Thel 'Vadam and the Covenant separatists, taking control of the fleet that he'd been tasked with repairing. Rojka was realistic. Like so many, he faced a crisis of character when he lost his religion. He worried for his species' future and longed for direction. He understood that the Sangheili needed to be allies with the humans to survive. To this end, he learned to tolerate them. But not the Spartans that ruined his life.
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Rojka isn't anyone special. He's no Thel 'Vadam, with wealth, influence, and his family behind him. He's no Usze 'Taham, with old-world faith and an impressive pedigree. He could probably be most closely compared to Olabisi Varo'dai, except that she lost her home at the hands of a Covenant accident and not a UNSC attack.
Rojka is a refugee. Anyone in his life who didn't happen to be off-world when the nukes detonated was dead. The fleet he used to have was down to a skeleton crew. But Thel 'Vadam still asked him to lead the refugees to a new world that they called Rakoi. They started to rebuild, with Rojka becoming the kaidon of Rak, the Sangheili capital (nerd sidebar for those who care: I believe he was more accurately the high kaidon). He grows to love his new home, with one complicating factor: unbeknownst to them, Rakoi was originally called Carrow, a human colony that evacuated during the war. When the dust settled, the humans returned to find their new neighbors.
There's irony somewhere in Thel asking Rojka to do something he would never ask of a human: to set aside his anger at losing his homeworld and work peacefully with the people who took it from him. It's something that Thel hopes for, but when humans continue to hate him, he doesn't blame them. But he expects more from Rojka, and Rojka, who is concerned about maintaining support from Sanghelios, is caught in the politics. He agrees to maintain peace with the humans, which leads to a civil conflict led by his own cousin, who disagrees with making peace.
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As part of this agreement, he is introduced to the UNSC Diplomatic Corp envoy Melody Azikiwe. At first, he resents her presence, thinking of her as a meddler and someone whose skills were ultimately useless. He considers humans to be a necessary evil rather than allies. He does not believe diplomacy is truly possible, and thinks Melody weak for talking instead of fighting. But when a two-front war breaks out on Carrow and Melody awakens Gray Team to assist, his resolve is shaken. Over and over again, he's reminded of how much both humans and Sangheili have suffered.
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Eventually the civil conflict escalates to a point where the entire planet is in danger, and he has no choice but to accept help from the Spartans. The decision to destroy Glyke without clear orders was a contentious one for the team, which broke them once they realized what they'd done. In their own way, they try to make amends with Rojka.
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In the end, it's not ships or soldiers who overcome the conflict, but people. Regular people, talking their way out and through problems. Rojka begins to realize the importance of jobs like Melody's and that there are better ways to solve problems than separating heads from necks (although he does do that, too). Having decided to set aside his anger with Gray Team, he returns home to Rak to rebuild. When he gets there, he learns that another kaidon has risen to power in his absence, usurping his title. In what is, in my opinion, his greatest moment of growth, Rojka accepts the new power structure without argument.
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I can't overstate how unusual this is. Few things are more important than power and pride in Sangheili culture. Many Sangheili prefer to die than admit to being injured. They prefer to be killed rather than captured. The most honorable way to replace a kaidon is a battle to the death. But Rojka is tired. He wants to go home. He agrees to be an envoy for Rak, having grown to appreciate the power of diplomacy.
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Growth!!!!!! That's growth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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wheregoodthingsthrive · 7 months
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Hello dragon ball nation this one’s my favorite
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Been busy enough to justify a full round up for this WIP Wednesday. The TL;DR being that I'm back to being fully lace brained.
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Blanket 10 is NEARLY finished. I've started attaching the last row and just need to finish out this row and then do a border (and give him a good wash, I've owned some of this yarn for years and it smells a little dusty). The nights are starting to get really cold here so I'll be happy to have it done, I just gotta force myself to work on it.
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Doily 14 (Yarn | Pattern) needs to go on a longer needle but other than that is very fun and cute. I've decided to put it down for a bit to work on the next two projects but I expect when they get boring I'll go back to this. This pattern is surprisingly simple for a Neibling as long as you're prepared for the long pattern rows. Absolutely going to have to break out the washi tape to mark off my rows for the second chart, but the first one has been very easy lace knitting.
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Unnamed project aka me fucking around to see if I can freehand this sweater design. I had started with a two row lace ("Honeycomb lace" from A Second Treasury of Knitting Patterns by Barbara G Walker) but honestly didn't find it fun to knit. So I transitioned to a favourite of mine (ssk, k2tog, yo twice). It's going a lot faster now tho it looks a little weird. I'm going to knit to the underarm and if it fits, it stays. If it's too small I'll rip all the way back and redo the shaping in this lace pattern instead with longer shoulder saddles. It's unfortunate that I didn't like knitting the honeycomb lace, I really like how it looks, I'll have to try swatching it in different yarns to see if the problem is just that this yarn has zero stretch (100% cotton).
I have decided I will put short sleeves on this tho. I had planned to just add ribbing for the arms but I saw a drop shoulder vest in a similar style and did Not like it, so this just saves me from having to rip back. I also think I'm going to have to leave this cropped, I'm not a big crop top person but with this yarn being cotton, having a full length body along with the sleeves is going to have the neckline very stretched. There may be no helping it regardless but there's no harm in trying. I imagine if this is does become something I wear it'll either be in the dead of summer or layered over a button up/some sort of top anyway, so a crop wouldn't be too uncomfortable.
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Last but certainly not least is Shawl 14 (Pattern | Yarn). My precious Evenstar is coming along very well, I'm actually on the second to last pattern row before the set up for the border. I know the border is going to be a slog but I'm excited for it regardless, he's huge even all compressed on the needles. My self imposed deadline for him is April, but the border is only 56 repeats. If I can do one every other day I should be right on time, which sounds do-able even tho I know I'll get bored by the halfway point.
I need to keep an eye out for patterns for this yarn, I have a whole second cone plus what'll be left after I finish this shawl. These cones staring at me will probably be the push I need to settle on an Orenburg shawl pattern. (Or possibly a large Neibling, or one of MMario's patterns.)
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charlescoded · 9 months
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Lie to me
pairing: lestappen word count: 5.3k rated explicit. soulmate au. 5+1. fwb. smut. day 2 of @lestappenweek
5 times they told the truth + 1 time they tried to lie
AO3 LINK
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lorephobic · 5 months
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hey would you terribly mind sharing your fav barry pics 🙏 signed a newcomer to the barry church
nooo omg haha not ANOTHER excuse to look at barry pics for two hours straight this can’t be happening !
anyway starting with some beautiful body pics that drive me a little bit insane<3
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welcome to the barry church!!
GQ (2022) / Wonderland (2023) / Document (2023) / Alasdair McLellan for Homme+ (2022) / Document (2023) / Harry Lambert for Homme+ (2022) (x) (x)
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