#it was all it took for me to go down this rabbithole again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heongiu · 9 months

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Hi! Can I request a yandere Gun with reader who has had enough and wants to leave him for good?

hey Anon, tysm for the request! and ooooohh Yandere Gun?!..what a fun perspective to write about.

warnings: Yandere, slight abuse, manipulation, toxic and unhealthy relationship, mentions of abuse, gaslighting.

!Yandere! Gun x Reader ||

“Y/N OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW” He shouted at you, banging loudly from the bedroom.

it had been 2 years since you guys started dating, everything was merry and bliss until a month ago, he started acting strange towards you. At first it was unnoticeable, but slowly matters got out of hand. With his concerning possessiveness and manipulativeness, possibly also abusive behaviour. It was too late to leave when you had realized this all, your beloved boyfriend was not who he acted like in the beginning, the rabbithole was much, much profound.

And now you were sitting scared on the bathroom floor, your body shaking tremendously , tears sprawling out your eyes, the door was locked shut securely, but you knew it was not enough to keep him from entering in, You knew how indestructible he was.

“Y/n..if you open the door like a good girl, you can avoid getting hurt you know? and if you dont you know how bad it will be for you right?” his voice was reverberant, and his tone was threatening. There was not much time left until the door would get kicked open, and you would finally be dragged out of your protest. You couldn’t think much at all, not even think what to do, because in a situation as dark as this, nobody would.

And so the door was kicked down, and appeared who you had wished didn't. And with one Swift sway of his arm, he grabbed your wrists and hauled you out of the bathroom and into your shared bedroom. He clutched your hands together tightly, almost an earth-shattering grip.

and with one more swing he threw you on the floor, his aura turned obsecurely belligerent with you.

You tried praying to each and every God ever known to existence, you wanted to break free, but none of your prayers were answered.

"Now answer me, why did you go to him?" He interrogated, his grip on you was stronger than ever, as you cried out in pain.

"G-Gun! Please hear me out!.. H-he was a good friend of mine! It's not anything serious at all-" and came a harsh slap across your cheek, he grabbed your chin and pulled your face close to his.

"Oh really?... What proof do you have to assure me you weren't doing shit with that bastard?" His voice was hoarse, as his eyes looked at your trembling figure with animosity.

"Y-you can call him!...a-ask him about yesterday.. Th-then you'll know.." You answered back, petrified.

maybe.. You shouldn't have gone there at all. Gun tossed you to the floor violently, grabbing your phone, and checking your contacts list. As he furiously scrolled over the various contact, he finally came across the guys contact number and dialed, walking around the bathroom impatiently.

Each passing second was making your skin crawl. As he took more and more time to pick up the call. And then.. He finally did.

"Hey ____? Yeah I wanted to ask what you and y/n did yesterday, it's nothing serious, I'm just curious, she wouldn't tell me herself so."

Gun spoke to the guy over the phone like they were best friends, his tone had completely transformed, it was... Just exactly like how he used to talk to you before. Seeing him change this way made tears sprawl out your eyes.

And so... His suspicions were confirmed...Wrong. And you took a deep, relieved sigh, but it was not... Over, yet.

"I'm glad it wasn't anything serious, but if you ever hang out with him again... I'll make sure you never see daylight again" he whispered close to your ear, as he grabbed your head from behind, pulling you closer.

"You do realise how much I love you, right? " he added as he brushed your cheek with his calloused hands, gently and softly.

"Y-yes..I do.." You murmured with a shaky mode of expression, you were still a lot traumatized from whatever just happened.

"Good, I love you so much, I'll keep you safe with me alright? Everyone else is using you, only I, can help you my love"

He kissed your forehead, before picking you up and putting you to bed.

#lookism #lookism manhwa #park jonggun #lookism jonggun #park jonggun x reader #jonggun x reader #gun x reader #yandere gun x reader #heongiu writes

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hanzaikyou · 8 months

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Shogo Suzuki Range Analysis

Hi hello guys, and welcome to "Yuuki Izawa posted a thing that got a whole discord curious". So this post was inspired by this tweet, made by Yuuki Izawa in 2019, boldly claiming Shogo as having a 26 octave range.

If that sounds wild, it is because it is. It is wild. Love him though.

Because of that, I went on a little research-assignment-rabbithole, to figure out exactly how wide Shogo's range is.

The Verdict

Based on evidence I'll present in a minute, Shogo has a proven range of Ab2-C5, roughly two and a bit octaves. His comfortable range seems more aligned with being D3-C5 though.

The Evidence

To prove this, I looked through every single show I had access to featuring the man that he sang in... so primarily Hakumyu (many thanks to the Hakumyu Livejournal for that, ilysm, sorry I'm not more active) and Morimyu, along with a couple of stray musicals I had around that supported evidence, which shall be mentioned if necessary.

Lower Limit (Ab2)

I started by looking for the lower limit, and turned first to Hakumyu for this. I searched through the first Live first, then briefly looked through Kazama-hen and Hijikata-hen. (I don't know the names of songs, as I am not fully familiar with the series yet, but please bare with me.)

My first real evidence with this was actually the Fullmetal Alchemist stage, wherein Shogo sings in the middleish. In that song, he hits a low of E3 in the chorus, giving me a start point to look for.

I then went straight to Hakumyu Live, specifically his solo medley (I believe it is?) that occurs roughly 1h13 in to the show. Aside from being possibly my favourite Hakumyu song (can you blame me), I knew that the verses went quite low off the top of my head, so I checked for them, and they presented me with an D3, still quite stable too.

Skimming through the rest of it, mostly jumping chapters and looking for Shogo, I stumbled across the Demon Tag section of Chizaru's song, beginning at 21 minutes in, which hit the lowest note I'd heard from him at Ab2. He performed spectacularly, but there is somewhat of a wavering in his voice that leads me to think that he's kind of reaching for it, hence belief that it's out of his comfortable range.

Then I went on to Hijikata-hen, and ended up finding the song at 1h05, which is of course part of the medley mentioned earlier. The same stable D5 greeted me, giving me the Official Lower Limit. (Side note, I love the song starting at 1h05 so much, but that's for another post.)

Kazama-hen supported this again, with an Eb5 in the song beginning at 1h16. (Kazama-hen also made me cry. But that's also another post.) At this point, I considered the lower pitch confirmed, and moved on to searching for the higher pitch.

EDIT: As the lovely @liliththunder pointed out to me (and many thanks for that), I missed a song at the 45 minute mark in Kazama-hen that goes lower - primarily centering on the C3 and going as far down as Bb2. Due to this, I'm amending my statement, and simply accepting Ab2 as the lower limit. That being said, I stand by the statement that he's more comfortable above C3 or D3.

Higher Limit (C5)

For the higher limit, I decided to search through Morimyu, mostly because I know exactly where all Shogo's high notes in that are.

I did have, as part of the notes I took when scouring the Fullmetal Alchemist song, the high from that, which turned out to be an Ab4. Admittedly, I didn't think that was quite high enough, but noted it down anyway.

I started by looking through the CD for the specific songs that I knew would give me a guide, and found what I was looking for almost immediately. Verdict (II) from OP1 and Beginning of the End from OP3 were my first points of call for their fairly renowned high notes. Both turned out to have a cap of C5, so I used this as my guide from thereon out.

They would turn out to be the highest I could find though. The other two I checked directly by name were Emotion (the OP1 duet with Ikkei) and In This Lonely Room (or the Couch Song from OP3). These had high notes of A4 and Bb4 respectively.

I then skipped through OP4, looking for every Shogo song and its relevant high note, which supported this idea - every high note in that show is either an A4 or a Bb4 save for one, in the finale, that is a C5.

I will note that these top notes do sound incredibly stable, and I'd be curious as to whether he is capable of going further, but no evidence for anything higher than C5 exists in anything I can get my hands on. If someone with access to Tokyo Ghoul could check, I'd be absolutely open to correction there.

But yes, that is that for now - I got my answers and a fun little research task, and you got whatever this is. I'll be doing Ikkei next, most likely soon, possibly tomorrow depending on how much time I have (and not at all because I want to watch his Tenimyu run again... heh). I thank you all for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the journey as much as I did.

#worksofcrime #morimyu #hakumyu #suzuki shogo #actor range analysis

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mosneakers · 10 months

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Erwin: ... So yeah. That's why they call themselves the "Mother In Red Association." It's some pretty wild stuff, Robs. It might be a little early to call this, but I think they might just be sitting on a landmine of monumental information.

Robin: Wow, Bella Goth, though? That'd be a pretty big deal if they uncover that one! I'm gonna do some digging of my own. I need to know more about this mysterious organization. Erwin: As long as it's not too stressful for ya. I know there's a lot going on in your life right now. Your mom and grandma uprooting the whole family to Henford-on-Bagley, of all places, to start an animal sanctuary.

Robin: How could I forget? The real Henford-on-Bagley. Not my fictional made up one. What if they're there, you know?[Whispers] My Strange-Grey characters? Can you imagine if my family came across them one day? I could... I could get my magic taken from me!

Erwin: Hey, hey! don't worry about that. If they are there, I'm sure they don't want to be found either. And you wrote them to be clever, so clever they'll be.

Robin: [Sigh of relief] I guess you're right. The point is, I could use this whole M.I.R.A. distraction to help get my mind off everything. Thanks for sharing this with me, babe. [Smiles warmly]

Erwin: No, thanks for letting me share. There was just so much information, I had to tell someone. It'll be nice to go down another rabbithole with you again, kid. [Returns smile] Robin: [Laughs] Well hopefully this one won't end up the same way the last one did.

Erwin: It won't be that- oh shoot! It's almost 3 AM here, and my burner phone is about to die. I should get going. Astro is probably freaking out. Plus I have to work in the morning. The Curio shop won't run itself! I love you Robin. Talk to you tomorrow, k?

[Undead High noises coming from the background of the Sparrow home theatre]

Robin: Love you too Erwin! [Click]

The game allows Robin to accept the new personality trait "Loyal"

Erwin punches in the security code to the Old Penelope front entrance where he's greeted with a burst of excitement from his beloved pup, Astro. Astro jumps and yelps in delight, unable to contain his excitement. Erwin crouches down on the floor and returns his love with pets and cuddles.

Erwin watches his feet carefully, making sure not to trip over Astro on his descent down the stairs. He was so focused on not falling, that it took him a while to notice Coni at the bottom of the stairs, waiting nervously for him.

Erwin: ...Coni?

#ts4 #Sims 4 #the sims 4 #ts4 story #MD4 #sim 4 #Erwin Pries #Robin Sparrow #Coni Breeder #Astro Pup #Strangerville #MD4season10

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eccentric-nucleus · 8 months

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oh boy i started messing around with renpy again and i forgot how poorly-designed it all was

so you can make menus of choices, right? and i was like 'i would like to color the choices differently based on what the options are'.

i was going to write a long post about this but between the new tumblr editor stripping out all formatting (lol i still can't believe how trash the new post format is wrt any kind of formatting) and honestly my problem not being particularly interesting you will just have to take my word that doing something like 'adding different color choice options' took me down a rabbithole and the only way i got it to work was by using deprecated renpy options b/c i saw no way to make the 'new' options do the thing i wanted. aah.

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handheldheaven · 10 days

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On Being 25

This post is long and has also been a long time coming.

I've been running this blog since August of 2017, in the midst of an eating disorder and an abusive relationship. I was a pop punk kid looking for community. Over the next few years I fell into pseudointellectualism; I cosplayed the prestigious scholar who lived for November days and moldy book pages. I loved ancient Greek and ancient Rome and dramatic, bloody imagery. I had a few hit posts (they reached 1k notes) and I thought I found a community.

In 2021, my life took a huge turn. I was about to graduate with my bachelor's degree, my professors wanted me to enroll in a creative writing program, and I should have been happy. But I wasn't—I was stuck at home with my conservative mother who drove me up the wall with her conspiracy theories. My friends both in real life and online were distant, and I was at my loneliest. I was burnout and insignificant, and I became very, very close to k-lling myself one day. The details don't matter. All that matters is that I didn't do it, and with what I became after, there were people who thought I should have done it. This was also around the time I came to terms with the fact that I'm autistic.

Over the next several months I would abandon this blog and become a born again Christian. I also adopted my mother's conservative beliefs because I needed something to grasp. Later I would learn I was most likely going through a spiritual psychosis/personality change because of my almost-attempt. I returned to tumblr and continued posting with an adjacent, modern aesthetic, but I also brought my newfound conservative ideas. This is something that I'm still very ashamed of, because it affected people in my life who I once cherished as being my closest friends. My isolation from others permanently destroyed my friendships and how people who trusted me saw me.

I fell down another rabbithole of t3rfism around this time. In hindsight, it was most likely because of the conservatism (which I was no longer part of), the fact that I had zero female friends, and my only "friend" was a douchebag guy who only wanted to sleep with me. I never identified as a t3rf, but I did join them in questioning certain aspects of society. It was so obvious that one of my previous friends called me out on it when I tried contacting them to reconnect at the end of 2022.

I'm not writing all of this to receive pity. I'm writing this because I feel the need to atone for my past actions. I've apologized to the people who needed apologies.

I lost a lot of my traction when I returned to tumblr. I wasn't posting consistently, so I became yet another up-and-coming tumblr user who was pushed to the shadows. I see some of my mutuals and wonder what would have happened if I kept up with the academic façade and posted shitty poetry. Could I have crowdfunded a grad degree, or had readers for my poetry book?

All this is to say that I wasn't the same when I came back to tumblr. Engagement on my original postings are now zero. This blog just doesn't feel like "me", and it hasn't since 2021.

I've outgrown this blog.

My degree hasn't gotten me far. I'm not in grad school studying art history like I wanted to when I was 21. I'm not a published writer like my English professors encouraged me to be. The aesthetics of this blog are a sham and in no way reflect reality. The reality behind this tumblr user is that I'm a 25 year old woman who works customer service and who still can't afford to move out. I dropped out of grad school after like 2 weeks because it sucked. I work full time, so I can't afford to study forgotten religions or 9th century theater or whatever the fuck the posters from the 'golden era' are doing off their parents' dime.

I've been developing my interests organically without people on the internet swaying my opinions. I'm not trying my hardest to live up to a certain aesthetic and making myself miserable in the process. I reached an age that the original creator of this blog in 2017 thought she'd never see. I feel better about picking up the pieces of my life now that I'm not using 25 as my deadline.

I'm not done with tumblr forever. I may remake my blog one day—a blog that isn't a time capsule of some of my worst developmental years. For now this is goodbye.

#my post

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liberty-barnes · 1 year

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went down a rabbithole of discourse to see what people mean when they say they don't like the wedding and well

let me ask you this:

do you not the like this plotline because it's "poor writing" (even though it was literally planned from the start, ie rafael knowing) or you do not like it because it shows that carlos isn't a saint with minimal, "cute" flaws, here to help tk get better?

do you not like iris or are you villainising her because she's "getting in the way of your ship" and doesn’t act in a neurotypical way, or in what you're "used to" seeing from neurodivergent characters?

really think about these cause i think you might figure some things out.

now i haven't made it a secret that i'm liking this plotline, but i'm not just gonna call out one side without explaining mine, that would just be unfair, so here are my full thoughts now that ep2 is out

i love this plotline because it's an opportunity to delve into carlos' character development, which when compared to tk, we haven't had much. like sure, they've been a couple and stuff but apart from the jealousy with connor and the issue with his parents, what have we really learned about carlos? compared to all the development we've had from tk, carlos at times felt very much like a tool for tk to move forward, because the character himself still had such limited growth opportunities

now the marriage plotline is his time to shine. i recently reblogged a post where it was mentioned that tk came full circle in the first 3 seasons, starting with a failed proposal and ending with a successful one, so i think that tk at this point is okay to take a secondary, and just overall less dramatic approach to his character development. because we've seen him go through the big things. now it's carlos' turn to do like a pokemon and evolve.

we get to see the full scope of his anxiety, internalised homophobia, and saviour complex.

it's already a huge step that he talked to tk about it before he took care of the divorce. people with anxiety disorders (it's me hi i'm people) can tell you that bringing up a problem without having a solution is next to inconceivable. we feel like we always need to have solutions for our problems and if we don't, then people can't know about them. so the fact that carlos trusted tk enough to tell him (albeit after being "forced" to by andrea) tells you a lot about just how much he cares. and we also got the opportunity of seeing tk's growth because he didn't take it personally, didn't think this was against him, he understood that this was carlos' own problems and just like carlos helped him deal with his issues, tk's gonna help him deal with this.

it also shows just how far carlos' internalised homophobia went, and shows that even though most of it wasn't on screen, he's done amazing progress. the conversation on the couch is a testament to that growth, to him realising he wasn't broken at all. it's also a great way to show internalised homophobia, because it's something that most queer people go through, especially at the beginning, and i think it's beautiful to show that no matter how much time passes or how many mistakes you make, the important part of it is that you found yourself, the rest can be taken care of later.

and of course, his saviour complex. we saw it when he let the bank robber go, we saw it when he broke down because he felt like he failed tk by not having enough fire extinguishers to protect him, and we see it now by him staying married to iris for the health insurance. abd not going to see her because in some way, he feels like he failed her. maybe he should have noticed her illness sooner, or he should have been there with michelle from the start, but he didn't know what to do or what to say so he just didn't go. which again, if you have an anxiety disorder, you can relate. sometimes when things feel too hard or we don't have a set plan for everything that's gonna happen, or we make it harder than it is in our minds, we just don't go. speaking from experience, i ghosted my therapist for a year cause i forgot to call in sick for one appointment and thought she would judge me so i didn't go back. that's just how much anxiety can affect you, and for carlos, this is his "monster", this marriage is the thing that he desperately wants to fix but doesn't know how, finds too complicated, so he's stuck where he is because he's just not able to fix it.

and it's amazing to see how much tk gives him strength, the trust they share, and how carlos found his motivation in tk. that's love and from one anxious person to another, i'm really proud of carlos

now as for iris, i love her, i really do. she shows a mental illness that we don't always see, and normalises the fact that even after being medicated, neurodivergent people aren’t just suddenly gonna be "fixed". she's saner with her medication but we see how she finds it hard to communicate because her brain just works differently. when can see during her talk of an annulment, she thought she was being obvious the whole time, and it was only after tk asked for an explanation that she realised she needed to express this better. she doesn't mean her questions maliciously (ie carlos warning tk beforehand and being ready to step in if it got too much while also trusting that his fiancé can hold his own), she just has questions and asks them. she asks them because she's curious, because she's worried about carlos, because she wants to know more about tk. she doesn't have that little voice in her head telling her that her questions can be taken the wrong way.

and the part everyone's mad about, with her calling tk carlos' life's work. she didn't say it to insult tk, she didn't say it because she thinks he doesn't deserve carlos, she said it because in her mind it proves how perfect they are for each other. "always needs a project" + "can be his life's work" = soulmates. and idk if i understood that because i'm neurodivergent or because whatever else, but it made sense in my brain, i get her.

and ofc, it's a great opening to show off tarlos' ability to communicate with each other and both their individual and joint growth.

now for the fact that they can't get an annulment, i'm honestly not sure that was the plan at all, it might have been brought in just for the symbolism and after realising they can't do it, they'll have to stick with divorce. i don't know, i'm hapoy to let the writers surprise me and then pick apart and analyse the story as it comes.

and for the fact that iris is now missing, again, don't have many thoughts about it right now other than i think she went looking for the woman at the care center that she talked about when tk first got there, bc that comment felt too pointed not to become a plot point. but again, i'll hold any thoughts until after the episode air.

i see so many people getting stuck on what could happen, and what was "seen coming" etc, but honestly, just trust the writers. we know it will end in a wedding, ronen and rafael trust the writers fully, and that's good enough for me you know. i'm not gonna stress about what "could happen" in a tv show, i do that enough irl. i'm just gonna enjoy the ride.

so yeah that was me

#libby rants #911 lone star #iris blake #tk strand #carlos reyes #tarlos #lone star meta #carlos reyes meta #tk strand meta #iris blake meta #lone star season 4 #911 lone star meta #lone star 4×02 #lone star 4×01

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crinkled-emotions · 1 year

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Oh G!

Can I request Lap/Chest pillow for Eddie or Jake PLEASE 🥺

Heeeeeey Kat! Happy holidays mate!

You got it! I'm in the mood for Jake getting some time with Mav but I have a feeling I'll come back to this and write some Buddie lmao 😂

Bob had been looking for Phoenix for at least an hour when he clocked that he should probably check the common room. Sometimes she hung out there to read or play cards with the guys.

Look, all I’m saying is don’t bet against her. She will bleed you dry and then charge asshole tax. It’s her charm.

“Tash,” he said as he let the door slam behind him, “I’ve been looking for you-”

“-shut it. Right now.”

Bob blinked, startled. Phoenix never told him to shut up, or go away, or that he was annoying. Not like how she spoke to the others, how she was the first one to yell fuck you at Rooster or insult Hangman with a simple raise of her brow.

“Sorry,” Bob whispered. He snuck over to the couch and immediately his jaw dropped.

“Is that-”

“-mmhmm. Coyote went to get him some more meds, but I said I’d hold the fort. Mind passing me my water?”

Bob wordlessly passed over her water bottle and she took a sip, frowning as she cupped Jake’s forehead again.

“Is he sick?” Bob whispered.

“Burning up. Think he was nauseous earlier but Coyote said nothing productive happened.”

“Do you... need someone to switch with? How long have you been here?”

“I’ve been doing this for as long as I’ve wanted to punch him,” Natasha said with a grin.

“What?”

“I dunno, Jake gets a fever and he just... different person. Completely. It’s a little unsettling.”

With his head on Natasha’s lap, Jake shifted and she glanced down at him again.

“How are you feeling?” She asked softly. He gave a little so-so motion and Natasha nodded.

“Javy just went to get you some Pedialyte and some crackers. Do you need anything else?”

“Is my phone there?”

“Hey,” Bob said as he knelt in front of Jake. He sent him a sympathetic smile as he passed Jake’s phone to him.

“How long have you been sick?” Bob asked. Jake shrugged.

“I dunno, since this morning. Tash tried to drag me out of bed around nine.”

He winced as a cramp wracked his body.

“Bad idea.”

“I can tell. Uh, well, maybe you should get some more sleep, nap off the bug.”

“That would be good...”

Phoenix and Bob exchanged a look, Phoenix’s fingers running through Jake’s hair while he went back to sleep.

“Did you drug him? I don’t think I’ve ever- is he- he’s out,” Bob whisper-yelled in delight. Phoenix rolled her eyes.

“I told you. He gets a fever and he’s a little like a cat.”

Earlier...

“Hey, Bagman, missed you this morning. Roo had the most amazing waffles-”

Phoenix glanced up from the couch and paused, words lost in her mouth.

“Uh- are you okay?”

Coyote had an arm wrapped around Jake’s shoulders, holding him steady as they stumbled toward the couch where she had been falling down the tiktok rabbithole for the better part of an hour. She sat up, holding out her arms and Jake collapsed on to the couch beside her, resting his head on her knee. Phoenix frowned, placing her hand gently on his forehead and her eyebrows shot up at the warmth there.

“Oh, dude, you’re sick...”

“Hmm...”

Jake leaned into her touch, practically melting into the way she ran her fingers through his hair. Coyote nudged her shoulder.

“I’m gonna go and get some supplies, I can’t find any Pedialyte in this place and Rooster is MIA so I can’t ask him or Mav. Hopefully the infirmary will have some otherwise I’ll have to go to the store. Could you-”

“-yeah, I got him Javy. You go.”

“Thanks, Tash. I owe you one.”

“Nah, me and Bagman have been here before, he’s good.”

She squeezed Javy’s hand and he poked Jake’s shoulder, making sure he was listening before he started.

“I have to go get some shit, stay here okay? Tash is with you. Nothing wrong with being sick.”

“Bye, Javy.”

Jake closed his eyes, and Phoenix took that as conversation over. He could sweat out his fever whilst asleep, that would be fine by her. She kept running her fingers through his hair, listening for when he’d actually fall asleep. When a few minutes went by and nothing had happened, she frowned and cupped his forehead again.

“You’re really warm, maybe you should go and have a shower?”

“Don’t want to move.”

By the time Bob came looking for Phoenix, Jake had fallen asleep in her lap and she wasn’t willing to move.

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ashes-writing · 1 year

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a i r p o r t reunion | csi vegas ; g.sanders

** all images made by me. prompt credits go to the makers of the lists I used which can be found[ here ] [here] [ here ] [ here ] [ here ] [ here ] [ here ] [here] [here]and [here] - a huge thanks to all the wicked talented creators of these prompt lists. **

𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎 - 𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚞𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜

↪ summary

--- you run into former classmate/crush/neighbor down the street in Greg Sanders inside a California airport, all grown up. Old feelings pop up all over again.[ future glimpse of a fic I'm dying to write at some point tbh ]

↪ pairing / fandom

--- actress!female reader x Greg Sanders - CSI Vegas.

↪ warnings

--- Reader is/will be heavily characterized in future works. I've kept her vague here because this is me 'testing the waters' with this little idea. Flirting and innuendo, former crushes meeting again.

↪ taglist, babes

--- my taglist is [here] if you'd like to be on it. @tbmunson listen, i'm planning to drag you right down the rabbithole of my crime show fuckery with me, bestie.

@beardedbarba

@calmcoast

@justmeandanoverdrive

@uncrownedmox

“Flight 22 to Las Vegas has been cancelled.”

The announcement has you laughing to yourself quietly and this prompts the handsome man sitting to your left to glance up from the magazine in his hand. When you realize he’s the same man who wrote Sin City Secrets, the book you happen to have just closed, you gape at him for a second or two. You’re so caught up in staring that you forget to actually put said book away.

It surprises you when he speaks up, but the first thing out of his mouth isn’t the fact that he’s written the book, it’s to introduce himself and shrug a little. “Doesn’t look like we’re getting out of here today.”

He looks vaguely familiar and suddenly, it hits you. “Greg? Wait… Greg Sanders, right? From San Gabriel?”

He raises a brow but he nods.

You laugh softly. “I lived down the street from your grandparents. The big house on the end of the street with the iron gates?”

Greg quickly remembers and he nearly chokes on air as he takes a better look at you. “___? You were heading to Las Vegas too? It’s a small world, huh?”

You’re laughing again as you nod. But then the laughter dies away and you take a deep breath. “Yeah, I just… Like, I wanna get away from California for a while. I just bought a little house out in the desert, it’s great.”

Greg’s hand raises and settles across the back of his head because he’s starting to remember you a lot better now. He remembers that your mother was some kind of actress but she’d never gotten very far. He remembers the fact that she pushed you into modeling and acting and he definitely remembers that you never seemed very happy doing either thing, especially when your big break during your senior year took you out of school for most of it, causing you to miss prom.

He’s surprised you remember him at all because it’s not as if the two of you ever ran in the same circles back then, despite his grandmother always trying to push the two of you together, despite your mother’s disdain.

The last that he remembers, you’ve actually gone on to reach C-List scream queen status on the horror scene, you’d gotten big enough to be rumored as having a stalker a year ago.

What further surprises him is when he glances down after finally managing to tear his eyes out of yours and he sees the book he wrote about the Mafia presence in old Las Vegas sitting in your lap.

You can feel it when his gaze settles on the book in your lap and you know you’re blushing. You also know that sitting around idle isn’t getting either of you a hotel room for the night, but you haven’t seen him in so long and you just can’t walk away now that you’re seeing him again.

“Y’know it’s only a 5 hour drive to Las Vegas.”

“And the weather isn’t that bad.” you mutter, lost in the warmth of his eyes. If you thought he was dreamy back in high school, he’s ten times that now. Gone is the cute but oh so awkward and shy self professed ‘nerdy’ boy next door and he’s been replaced with a ruggedly handsome man.

You’ve both stood at the same time. When your stomach growls, Greg does something that surprises even him, offering an arm to you as he nods to the bar and grill across the airport lobby. You smile and your cheeks burn even hotter as you slip your arm through his and let him lead you across the lobby, into the bar and grill.

A few seconds later, after being seated at the very back of the place, the two of you are talking and having martinis. Catching up on life and he’s just so easy to talk to. The subject of your most recent ‘series’ of movies comes up and you tense just a little.

“Yeah, they’re putting a hold on filming, actually.”

“Oh yeah?” Greg questions. He notes the tension that filled your body. Your next statement explains it for the most part. “The director and my manager aren’t happy about it, my manager is trying to get me to do some stupid fucking movie while plans are on hold. Patrick, the guy who played Brandon, he’s causing a hold up because..” you laugh softly and sigh, twisting a strand of hair around your finger, “Well, it’s true when they say never date your costar.. We were dating and then I caught him screwing some dancer from the club he always hung out at in our apartment, so now here I am.. Brandon’s manager is trying to make a scene, he’s trying to get me replaced or written out of the last two movies.”

Greg winces and shakes his head.

“I’m just glad I wasn’t stupid enough to actually go through with marrying the guy.” you give this cute little sheepish laugh. The waitress brings your food out and Greg rubs his hands together, picking up his burger to take a big bite and the action causes you to watch his mouth helplessly.

Greg can feel you staring and he puts down the burger, staring right back at you. “It’s been great to see you again, it really has. I mean… Aside from your movies.”

What he doesn’t say out loud is that he’s seen all of them, the first one was at his Nana Olaf’s insistence, which was a surprise for him because his grandmother never typically watches ‘horror’. The rest were because he wanted to watch them.

Maybe it was because you were in them and seeing you on screen made him remember the few times you’d bump into each other late at night down at the park near his house. You were one of the few who was nicer to him back then and he always felt… Something.

“You watched them?” you nearly choke on the bite you’ve taken. “Your book is amazing. Are you a writer now?” you ask, curious. He laughs and shakes his head. “On the side, I guess. I work with Las Vegas PD. I’m in the Forensics Lab.”

“Oh. Oh wow.” you laugh softly and the more you think about it, the more it suits him, the more it tracks with his interests back then.

You know entirely too much about him thanks to a recent run in with his grandmother when you went home for your mother’s funeral not so long ago. She left out the fact that he wrote a book on Mafia history, of course.

Then it hits you and you laugh. And you have to tell him.

“Your grandmother told me I’d run into you soon.”

Greg chuckles, taking a bite of his food. “Oh she did, huh? Yeah, she mentioned seeing you last year. Sorry about your mom.”

You sigh and nod. “Yeah. There was a lot of… Stuff there.” you take a bite of your salad and gaze longingly at the burger in his hands and you must have been doing it hard enough that Greg notices, because he holds it out to you. You shake your head No politely, try to beg off. “If I even breathe it in, I’ll gain weight.”

“Oh come on!”

“Okay, alright.” you take the burger and take a bite, groaning as actual flavor burst to life in your mouth. Greg gives a satisfied smirk.

And then one of you notices the time. After you argue a little over the bill for food and drinks and you manage to sweet talk him into at least letting you pay for your half, you wind up walking down to the car rental kiosk together, falling into easy conversation the entire time.

You’re beyond tempted to ask if he just wants to share a car, but at the same time, you’re afraid to and you keep telling yourself surely he has someone waiting. You’ve resigned yourself to the chance meeting being just that as you pocket your keys to the sleek sports car you’ve rented for yourself and you’re starting to walk out of the airport, but Greg catches up to you and taps you on the shoulder.

��Hey, since you’re in Vegas now… I could show you around sometime? I mean… if you want me to.” Greg offers and you smile, nodding.

“I’d really like that. Your girlfriend or wife.. She’s not gonna mind?” -it’s about as subtle as a sledgehammer and you know it. He chuckles and smiles at you. “I’m single, actually.”

You won’t even begin to unpack the wave of relief that washes over you or the feeling that accompanies it, that for the first time in your adult life, things seem to be falling into place and you don’t feel lost or helpless -like your life is going in a direction that you don’t choose it to go or want it to go.

It just feels right.

You wind up standing in the parking lot talking to each other for at least another hour until one of you points out the fact that it’s nearing nightfall.

And you don’t want to say goodbye, but you know you have to.

“Hey..” you ask, holding out his book to him with a cute little smile, “Do you mind signing this? And maybe writing your number in it?”

Greg chuckles and his cheeks feel like they’re on fire but he takes the pen and the book from your hands and signs it, writing his cell number inside as you asked.

“Hey,” he’s digging through his pockets until he finds a crumbled napkin left over from the bar and grill you’ve both just eaten at. “Can you sign that and maybe writing your number on it?”

You giggle and glance up at him, head tilted slightly as you lick your lips. “I don’t mind at all.”

You write your name and number down and after a few seconds during which the two of you just stand and stare at each other in total silence, Greg speaks up again. “It’s uh… It’s getting late. I have work tomorrow night, I should really get going.”

“Same. I just.. Nevermind. I’ll see you around, Greg. It was nice to see you again, it really was. I can’t wait for you to show me around.” you smile when you say it, because him showing you around Vegas is probably the first thing you’ve looked forward to in over a year now.

Everything else has been going through the motions.

“See you then.” Greg smiles and as you walk towards the little sports car you chose to rent, he leans against the light pole and watches you.

“I doubt she’d go for me anyway.” he mumbles, mostly to himself as he watches you drive away, the encounter over but not forgotten. Somehow he knows deep down that seeing you again is going to be hard to forget about anytime soon.

And he really, really doesn’t want tonight to be the last time he sees you.

#greg sanders #greg sanders imagine #greg sanders fanfiction #greg sanders x fem!reader #greg sanders x fem!reader imagine #greg sanders x fem!reader fanfiction #<- safe for everyone. a general tag for all my safe to read works.#-> female reader - vague here but heavily characterized OC in future works. female parts barely mentioned here. reader is female though.#<- fall into fall 2022 writing

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mangacat201 · 2 years

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𝐓𝐀𝐆 (𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄) 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑

Got tagged by @hedgewyse whom I was very happy to get to know better via this tag game, thanks a lot! Sorry it took so long to respond, I needed to get on tumblr on the laptop where I can actually type up text and I had a lot of things going on this past week that kept me LOL.

Favourite colour: Blue.

No explanation, not particular reason why, it’s just always been blue. All shades from deep purple to almost white. But I have a special place in my heart for the word ‘turquoise’, which I feel is just so the most.

Currently reading: Oh good gosh, my open doc reading list is so long, I will constrain myself to the most recent things...

“(Love is)The second oldest profession” The 9-1-1 Buck/Eddie pornstar!AU I knew I needed but kept for a special occasion

I’m also reading “Achtsam Morden” a national German bestseller and the first actual like physical book I’ve picked up in probably four years. It’s hilarious and murdery and perfect

I’m listening to “Blood & Paper” by Kevin Hearne (whom I recently got to meet at a book signing event when he was visiting here and a friend asked me to spontaneously tag along - best decision in ages) Love the audiobook version read by Luke Daniels, he’s a whizz with the accents.

“Hide the drums (there’s fire in the sky)” latest installment of the Magical Marriage Ribbons-Verse, the Untamed Mega Saga, for which the author starandrea has been posting a chapter every day since May 31st 2020, so 805 consecutive days as of now without missing ONE. It boggles the mind. (I’ve started reading when the verse was ... oh I think about three parts in, I haven’t missed one too since then)

Last song: “The Greatest Show on Earth” - Nightwish, it’s my soundtrack for my daily yoga practice (no I am in fact not joking), so it doesn’t really count last leisure listening was the soundtrack of ‘Robin Hood - Das Musical’

Last series: Ooofff... ok, so many balls in the air at the same time. I’m watching “The Sandman” of course, as you do and loving it. Also “Extraordinary Attorney Woo” which is THE MOST(tm). Recently finished my rewatch and catch-up of “Manifest” and rewatched a couple of episodes of The Devil Judge with a friend who just started and that I got into it, remembering why I can’t be normal about those boys (and how delightful it is to rewatch with someone experiencing sth for the first time). Of course went down the magnificent and batshit crazy rabbithole that is Kinnporsche. Also, “Tomorrow” which is definitely my fav K-Drama of 2022.

Last movie: Day Shift - Fun and a nice remix of vampire tropes that you don’t really see on top of each other a lot. But it felt more like a set up to a movie trilogy I don’t know if it’s made enough impact into getting, so the premise might have been served better as a mini series? ...The Gray Man, which was solid and enjoyable and absolutely bonkers with how hilarious it was to watch Chris Evans have a ton of fun playing straight up, no holds barred, unredeemable villian. Ryan Gosling can stay... Ana de Armas is queen bee.

Currently working on: My last day of vacation :sob: and of course my WIP/plot bunnie enclosure excel spreadsheet (yes, I do not do things by half until I halfass writing them). Anyway, actual words or plotty thinky thoughts were put into:

- The Devil Judge a/b/o PWP (that has, so far, about 5k of set up and no porn) with a Jung Sunah made them do it scenario and non-traditional dynamics (yeah, idek...)

- Vincenzo Inception fusion - Jang Han Seo wakes up from getting shot to a curious set up of sleeping people around him (really really wanna write this one but the premise is so vast I’m afraid of flaming out again)

- three separate 9-1-1 Buddie fics of varying size and scope that reaches from one’s in love the other isn’t and confessions make things complicated (or do they), the fall out from the truck bombing goes the other way for Buck & the “Eddie deals with his 5B-issues by discovering shibari”!AU (do NOT try this at home-therapy)

- The Untamed - Blades of Glory!AU

pheeeeew. hooookay, wow, that was interesting, hope your learned something about me. I’mma tag some people, but please, feel free to participate at your own leisure. @hattalove, @the-marathon-continues-nip , @iskarieot, @themostglorioushour, @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels , @fondofeveryprickle, @ahhhnorealnamesallowed, @sam-t-a, @b612sunsets

#tag game #get to know me #lol

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grazhir · 11 months

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Sims 4 - Simsonian

So, this mod.

Sounded super neat, so I grabbed it, tossed it in (along with one for an apothecary of sorts, and mining).

I've learned quickly that there are problems. For me, anyway.

Do NOT use the Dig spell on a clump of dirt. Why it even appears for those is beyond me. But using it just makes them vanish into aether. Only use the spell on dig/excavation sites (and yes, if used on an excavation site, you can use the spell multiple times to exhaust it, rather like if you did things the normal way and got multiple artifacts).

For some reason (whether it is because of the mod or not), I can use the Copypasto spell on a dig/excavation site. I mean, what? The hell. Sure.

The build mode spawner vanishes the second you put it down, which is very bad. Unless you immediately hit undo, there is no way of getting rid of it that I can see. So now I have dig sites occasionally spawning on my lot, and I hate it, and I keep Shift-clicking to delete them because I'm already at 10 Archaeology and 5 Lore, even if I don't know if I have all the mod-added artifacts from Henford-on-Bagley.

It took a while before I figured out certain logistics. Like, you sorta have to be in the same room with the table to get an Uncover to work, or put a clump straight onto it.

At first I thought the artifacts were straight-up vanishing, but then I remembered a note on the page about stuff going straight to inventory, so you could cue up multiple Uncover or Identify/Authenticate actions.

Some of these artifacts—and some of the mod-added books, actually—are wonky on the Study for Historical Insights/Read/Re-Read options on the pie menu. Like, some artifacts have a duplicate Study, or books will show both Read and Re-read.

I think? the only way to start the included career is to finish a related aspiration so you can DONATE to a museum, which of course means heading to Selvadorado. The dig sites from the mod count, but not authentication (because those are tied to the DLC artifacts).

And my girl currently has three under-teen children in the house and another one waiting to be born. Eeesh.

(And naturally, even though I can hire live in nannies again, that mod continues to be somewhat wonky for me. Both disappeared, so I had to fire them, re-hire one the next day, and I'm still waiting on being able to hire a second again.)

Really not a good idea to investigate new mods like this while also being a Debt Slave (I actually wiped her debt just so she wouldn't get knocked up yet again).

Anyway...

So far I've only uncovered Henford artifacts, because I can't really leave the house with that many kids. I only did mining once after creating a mine (using the mod-included table and explosives), because as a rabbithole of sorts, it shuffled all the children off to daycare, which meant they were NOT learning skills.

Maybe after the eldest hits teen?

As for the apothecary mod, I've only made one set of pills, mostly because I don't have the materials, and I'm not really in a position to set up a live in business were I sell the results (and that's with not even remembering if I'd need to constantly make more or if they'd just get replenished like non-crafted items, because it's been that long, and Sims 4 doesn't have a crate or chest you dump restocking materials into?).

#sims 4 #sims 4 mods #Simsonian Library

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dzpenumbra · 1 year

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11/12/22

This is like day 3 of me chanting to myself over and over, "take it easy with the soul-work". It's seriously been all I've done for like years now. All day, every day. With some breaks, but those were usually video game binges to get lost in another world for a bit, and I worry about going too far into that when I have to move soon. I lose track of time easily when I'm diving deep into gaming.

So... well... this is soul work, so I need to just cool it with it. I'm too damn emotional and overstressed lately. So positive vibes it is. I want to go skating again very soon, I think I'm going to loosen my trucks a bit and learn how to ride a bit looser. It'll be a new experience and I think it will help with my overall comfort and board control. The more different angles I feel comfortable skating at - toe-edge, heel-edge, pivots, powerslides - the more different angles I will be comfortable landing in. It will help a lot more with run ups and roll aways. So even if I just get to the park with enough time to just cruise around a little, not even doing tricks... it will be hugely beneficial and fun! It'll add a new way of skating, carving, because I always rode super tight trucks and did manuals, stalls, pivots and powerslides. I never carved at all. I'd just pivot instead. I think it will help not just with all the above, but actually... it might help my posture too. Because I probably need to relearn how to hold my body when carving turns, like center-of-balance shit, and that will help me keep my natural default posture at a more healthy place. So... pretty excited for that! Now I just need to get to the skatepark before like... 4:30... Because it's dark at like just past 5:15 or some shit and it's just like... dude...

No art done today. But I might be able to get some beeswax to mess around with making my own incense infused sealant for wooden beads. I did play drums today though and gat-fuckin-dayum is it really nice to just open up Cubase, add a virtual instrument, choose Kontakt, double click the drum set, choose the exponential articulation curve, set my map, turn on my drum kit and I'm 100% good to go as long as I like with no problems. It's like... finally! I improvised with a MrSuicideSheep playlist from a year or so ago. It was fun. I missed playing drums. Another thing I need to fix my posture on, I hope I can get someone to help me with that soon.

So yeah. I have some final stuff to do with forms and shit, and a car inspection to really hope they get done. I'm really stressed about that. And I'm going to meet at the new building to get the keys and check out some stuff at the new place sometime next week. I need to follow up on that, I've just been... really scared, honestly. Like never this scared of moving before in my life. I hate it. I used to be so confident. And it really feels like an ignorance is bliss kinda thing. Like "I'll just get on a plane and move halfway across the country because I used to smoke weed with you in highschool and you called me your friend." Many times like that, most of my moves in life. They were innocence, naivete; in ways I miss it, in ways I really don't.

Now, I commit to having learned from these mistakes. I have gotten very harsh with myself. I can't slip up, I can't trust the wrong person, I can't make mistakes. I'm "smarter than that". I --- I'm doing fucking soul-work again. Fucking hell, see?! All day everyday, it's this! XD

All it took was mentioning chores and down the rabbithole I go. So I'm just gonna let that thought go down the river and I'll catch up with it when it comes back around tomorrow. No clue what's on the docket for tomorrow, we'll see how it goes, hopefully I can do something fun.

Oh, I wanted to add a good perspective I gave myself. I have a good relationship with my current landlords, and I'm sure they'd be cool with me taking my time with the move. So I really don't need to stress about packing and rushing everything to the new place. I want to really pace myself and adjust. It still doesn't feel real, I haven't even seen the damn place in person yet and I'm officially moving in in less than a week. So, since I'm super emotional lately, I'm gonna go baby steps with this one. I hiked like 30 miles barefoot with a giant rucksack on, I went on a solo-road trip, I flew to Vegas with no hotel room, and now... I'm going to very slowly dip my toes into moving to a new place. And I'm not going to judge myself for that, I'm going to be compassionate and gentle. It takes a lot of pain to transform someone like that. And I should be as compassionate with myself as I would be with others like me. So, big positive note, I'm going to pace myself. And I should be good and settled in up there by Thanksgiving.

But right now, I want to really just leave a nice warm thought in my head before bed. I have been really nervous about making music. I keep avoiding it. So tomorrow, I want to just make weird noises and record an actual song. It's been too long, like 3-4 years. Who knows, something really cool might come out of it. :D Maybe hip-hop, maybe metal, maybe weird experimental world music, maybe just a collection of incoherent noises. No matter what, it's going to be fun!

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

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hanzaikyou · 8 months

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Ikkei Yamamoto Range Analysis

I'm back with another installment of this absolute rabbithole, this time focusing on Ikkei. Now, noone's made any massive claims about the range of his vocals yet, so let's figure this out before anyone does, shall we?

The Verdict

Based on what we've seen through various stages and musicals, Ikkei has a range of C3-Ab4, roughly one and a half octaves. The upper end is more rarely heard though, with most of his songs landing at a high of F#4-G4.

The Evidence

Again, I used every possible musical I had featuring the man to analyse this, and as such there's a large concentration of Morimyu, as well as his Tenimyu run as part of the 7th Seigaku. It was a little interesting, as many of his songs in Tenimyu are group songs, so I didn't have all that many to go off there. I also had a copy of ENStars Track to Miracle, which I didn't realise until looking it up that he was in. The more you know. Instead of looking for an upper or lower in specific areas, I simply collected the highest and lowest notes in each song I analysed this time.

Lower Limit (C3)

So, I did start with Tenimyu, but the two I'd narrowed down for him (Unseen Thread and Fight&Win) both seemed on the high end of what I've heard him do, so I focused my efforts towards Morimyu.

This turned out to be a good idea, presenting me with lovely examples of his lower register. The songs were consistently hitting lows of D3 (Emotion and his duet with Fred in OP4) and Eb3 (Devotion and the Three Brothers' Secret), so I knew I was close.

But there was one final solo I wanted to look through, being OP1's A Hero's Qualification. Turned out to be a great idea - Ikkei hits his lowest note in there, at C3. Very impressed. 10/10.

Higher Limit (Ab4)

Okay, this one I was able to use the Tenimyu songs as a guide of how high to look for - Unseen Thread came in at an E4, and Fight&Win at an F#4, both of which aligned with what I had heard from him previously.

This was the point that I figured out his ENStars appearance, and managed to track down at least one of his songs - his first, which I believe was called Heartbeat by Trick Star (starting at 7 minutes in) came in at an F4, supporting my previous theories. Also the silver ponytail guy has me in a chokehold, if anyone cares to educate?

It was then I turned back to Morimyu, which gave us some higher ones. First to exceed it was Devotion (which was first because please let's be honest That's My Favourite), where he hits a G4 as part of his higher harmony at the end.

The next to exceed it was The Three Brothers' Secret, giving us our highest note at Ab4, hit as they commit arson basically ehe. It is beautifully done, and rather strong, and I'm kind of curious as to whether he could go further, given the opportunity. But that's all I have evidence for as yet, so Ab4 is to be considered the highest proven limit of Ikkei's range.

What did surprise me is the sheer similarity between Shogo and Ikkei's possible ranges - Ikkei often seems just that much lower, and he's... not? That being said, he has a very rich lower register, and as he's often paired with people who can take the higher harmony (Eiji in the Tenimyu's, Shogo... always) he gets a lot of chances to show it - I also think Ikkei's lower tone kicks in earlier than Shogo's, though I'd have to check for that specifically to back it up. Was interesting in Kokoro wo Daite, though, because by putting his solo part between Hide and Izawa, he sounds rather high pitched; same thing happened in Devotion, where he took the high harmony against Hide's lower harmony... perception really is everything with this, and I mean, he sounds lovely either way slkdf.

With two of three brothers down, I kind of want to do Kubohide next - again, I'll have a fair bit to draw on between Morimyu and Tenimyu, and I could have sworn I had something else with him in there. We'll see I guess ehe. But thankyou for reading, and see you next time~

#worksofcrime #morimyu #tenimyu #enstage #ikkei yamamoto #finally a tag for the boy #actor range analysis

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zephiesjournal · 2 years

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friday, october 21st, 2022

picked up meds today, was going to go get glasses too and just get all that done at once but it was apparently going to rain but i don’t know if it did, can’t remember. i was just gonna sit and try to get through as much of this warcraft lore stuff as possible so i’d be comfortable playing through the game some more, and i really got distracted going down rabbitholes on the wiki looking up everything i read about in the book. i wish it was easier for me to get back into reading once something takes me out of it like that, even though the thing that took me out of it was literally supplementary reading.

played hearthstone again and it got me in a card game mood, thought i’ve never tried magic so i should give that a go. just try a bunch of different card games i’m in that mood. downloaded mtg arena and went through tutorial stuff and really enjoyed it but i sure am bad at it whenever it makes me play against someone else. i have fun playing these games but then i think about how much effort it would take to learn to be good at them and i can feel that fun start dwindling. had my first Alcoholic Beverage in a while, and who knew a good way to keep off it was to have an absurd amount of cider in my fridge that i never feel like drinking because i don’t like it much, and i never want to buy anything else because “i’ve got all that cider at home”.

everyone says legends of runeterra is really good and i should try it but mmm league of legends. normally not being interested in the source material wouldn’t matter hell i played hearthstone when it came out and i didn’t care about warcraft but i so anti-care about league of legends that it ruins it for me. then i had my most cursed thought of 2022, what if i downloaded, on purpose, the video game program league of legends, onto my personal computing system, and ran it. i wondered if it was like picross in that just seeing it be played wasn’t enough for me to understand the appeal and maybe just playing it a bit i’d maybe kinda get it and wouldn’t be so out off by it. all i came out of it truly understanding is that the tutorial is notoriously awful. i watched a single “beginner’s guide” video and i can’t believe this game is so popular and people play it willingly. i’m going to try it again properly tomorrow but man. what an impossibly impossible seeming game to get into.

#october 2022

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snandtnurtle · 3 years

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All The Bad Kids Are Trans

and you can’t convince me otherwise

First off, Riz. Riz dresses like every transmasc in existence. No cis man walks around wearing a newspaper cap voluntarily. When he first started questioning his gender (which was about age 10 or so) he took about ten different online quizzes in order to compare the results, then decided they weren’t reputable sources and took matters into his own hands in order to scientifically prove his feelings. Finally Sklonda took him aside one day and said “You’re trans, right?” Riz responded with a long ramble about how he hadn’t quite collected all the data and there were still plenty of experiments left to do before asking how she knew. Sklonda replied “you scratched a bunch of different gendered terms into the wall and then rated them all one to five stars. You rated ‘boy’ very high. Do you want to use a different name? Or pronouns? Also, are we out of paper? You need to stop writing on my walls, we rent this apartment.” Penny had figured it out months ago and had been very subtly avoiding calling him anything but “kiddo.”

Adaine came out at thirteen years old, much to the chagrin of her parents. She tried to be assertive about coming out, but also had a panic attack midway through, which made them doubt her confidence. She had prepared a speech and had been using she/her pronouns and the name “Adaine” with her friends for a long time beforehand, just to figure out if she was totally, absolutely sure. Incidentally, she purposefully picked the name Adaine in order to subvert the -wyn pattern that all of the Abernants’ names have. It took her a lot of fighting to get her parents to address her correctly, but, though it didn’t occur to her at the time, Aelwyn never had any issues with it.

Gorgug is that kid who came out when he was like four years old. Wilma and Digby SHOWERED him with love and support from the get-go, and contacted Gorbag and Roz (who were also supportive) to help them think of a name that honored his orc heritage. However, the Thistlespring parents are SO supportive that they sometimes forget that their son is trans, which only heightens his discomfort during their weirdly frequent sex ed conversations. “Mom and dad? Mom and dad. I don’t have anything to ‘wrap up.’” Also, he wears hoodies everywhere. Case closed.

Fig came out at the end of 8th grade, which was..... a tumultuous time. Sandra-Lynn and Gilear are both supportive of their daughter, but because she decided to come out just when her horns were coming in, and they were figuring out the divorce, and Gilear was still trying to process that his daughter wasn’t exactly his daughter, they struggled a bit with the news at first, which only sent Fig further down her identity-crisis-rebellious-phase rabbithole. Gorthalax had been keeping tabs on Fig and knew as soon as she came out. He’s very proud of his daughter, because he may be a demon but he sure as hell (haha) ain’t a transphobe! Everyone assumed she was just a very flamboyant gay boy in middle school. Now she’s a riot grrrl.

Fabian came out when he was still on the pirate ship with his father, and his parents were OVERWHELMINGLY supportive from the get-go. He, of course, left figuring out his name up to his parents again, because who could think of a better name for him than Bill Seacaster? Captain Seacaster, incidentally, sent a panicked letter to Garthy as soon as Fabian came out asking wtf he was supposed to do, to which Garthy responded “just call him your son and use the right pronouns, i suppose, darling.” He took this to heart, and would enthusiastically (some might say overenthusiastically, but not Fabian! Not about his papa!) exclaim that Fabian was his “darling BOY!” whenever he saw him. Of course, they’re far more settled into the reality of things by now, but saying “my darling boy” just became a bit of a habit.

FH:SY finale spoilers below the cut!

Kristen is the only one who did not come out before the events of Fantasy High. In fact, she has yet to come out in canon at all, but I am convinced it is coming. She’s finished her sexuality crisis. She’s in a stable relationship. ....Except that Tracker has just left for a long trip. Perfect time to have another crisis while your emotional rock is away! I am convinced that Kristen, a religiously traumatized follower of a nonbinary god of mystery and the unknown, cannot NOT be nonbinary and will absolutely have an arc where she comes to terms with her gender and learns to operate and find confidence in herself without Tracker. I’m not sure what pronouns she’ll use, but it’s probably all of them.

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #trans #i've put a ridiculous amount of thought into this someone stop me #moss dicit

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hajimine · 3 years

Text

THIS IS GOODBYE !! >:)

long story short, i wanna focus on my uni work + my real life more but tumblr is way too addicting so i’m gonna have to kick it out of my life entirely <3

but for all you nosy people out there (yes you reading this rn i know you wanna snoop around mhm) here’s a way-too-long explanation as to why i’m gonna go ghost ! woo !

on this post i’ll also be answering some of the asks i frequently get so please read through them before asking again ! having to repeat myself again and again gets really tiring v.v

KEEPING IN CONTACT

discord: send an ask off anon/dm me !

new blog: anyone without bad intentions are welcome, moots or not ! just send an ask off anon <3

THE BASICS

why are you leaving? i’ve sort of explained it before the cut but yeah, tumblr is a lot of fun and i do still enjoy writing, but i feel like i waste way too much time on here and get nothing valuable in return, so i’d rather focus my time and energy on something much more important to me like my studies.

but.. you can just cut down on your posting, why leave entirely? nah im an all or nothing type of gal so that won’t work for me. i’ll go back down the obsessive rabbithole and repeat the cycle, so i’d rather do a full detox yk?

wtf why all of a sudden? i know i know sorry lol :,) i just realized that i need to get my shit together and set my priorities straight and this is the best way to do it.

why are you making such a big deal out of this? shhhhhhhut up. some people asked me about it and they’re curious, so if you aren’t, then gtfo ^^ also i don’t want to leave without an explanation bc i’ve been on the receiving end before and i know that it’s not a pleasant feeling to find out that someone you liked/followed disappeared without warning.

THE BLOG

will you deactivate? no probably not. i love this blog it has lots of good memories :>

will you delete your works? as of now, nope. but there’s a pretty big possibility that i’ll say fuck it and delete everything so enjoy them while they last hehe

do you have a new blog? yep! it’s a personal blog though, and i might or might not write again on the new blog—so don’t get your hopes up. if you do want to keep chatting with me, i’m more than happy to hang out with you there! (i won’t be as active there as i was here though)

are you gonna continue writing? in the long run: most probably yeah. i love writing so i’ll probably find my way back here (or on ao3!) but right now, i need to learn what kind of things i want to prioritize my energy on, and writing fanfiction is just… not it lol

blog giveaway? no go away

。。。

braindump:

personally, i’ve had my fair share of discourses and i have come across some nasty people in the various fandoms i’m in, but i don’t think it’s fair to hate an entire group of people just because some people are absolute shitheads. so no, i’m not leaving bc i hate the hq fandom or the jjk fandom or whatever the fuck, i enjoyed my time here bc i never took tumblr seriously—all my love goes to the fandoms tho i hope u guys won’t go up in flames w the amount of dumb discourses i see on dash v.v also no, i’m not leaving bc of hate or anything like that please don’t worry!

i’ve only been here since october 2020 (and started this blog in dec) but it’s been a lot of fun !! so thank you so much to everyone who has interacted with me and my content, all my moots, my lovely anons and followers, i wouldn’t have stayed here if it weren’t for u guys xoxo. also, i’ve met some of my genuine close friends on here, and i have this dumb site to thank for that :>

and to those mfs who have sent me anon hate, talked shit behind my back, plagiarized me, stolen my ideas, stirred up discourse just for the funzies, etc, u guys are disgusting and i’m glad im not gonna see u again. i hope u get well soon. or not. idc <3

if you’ve read this far and you still wanna snoop around well uh, feel free to ask me anything and i’ll try my best to answer >:)

。。。

@ anons i hope u don’t mind that i’m answering your questions this way whoops

#please interact with the post once seen!#‘thank u for your service’ cracked me up HELP #gonna be here to chill for a bit but after that BYE BYE 😁#important!!

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