#it would also be easier for me to explain that way

[thelunarsystemwrites]

Why I recommend age regression as a way to cope.

If you're stressed the F out, feel like you missed out or lost your childhood, or have terrible coping mechanisms? Then this is the post for you. (Maybe.)

Also before we jump in—Just wanna say that I'm not a psychologist, I'm just sharing tips and advice from my own positive and negative experiences. And that age regression may not work for you after you've tried it, but I say give it a shot! Especially if your current ways of dealing with life aren't.... great.

With all that our of the way—Post beneath cut!

So here's some resources for a TLDR version! But I'll be explaining age-regression, it's benefits to me, and why I encourage others to try!

Remember it is ALWAYS sfw! (Which means agere isn't a kink, never has been and never will be!)

So age-regression, or it's shortened name Agere (Takes Age, and the Re from Regression and combines them!) Is a form of dissociation in which someone mentally reverts back to a younger age! This can be anywhere from a few years younger, such as a 17 year old regressing to a 15 year old. Or it can be many years younger—Example being a 17 year old regressing to a 4 year old!

During this state: they are mentally younger, either fully or partially depending on the person. And do think like said age. And often their behaviors correspond with their regressed age, assuming they aren't masking it!

Sometimes you are aware you're regressed, and other times you're not—Both are completely fine!

It's a wonderful way to relive your childhood in a safe environment, feel young and cared for again like a child, or express your inner child!

Okay, but why would I use that to cope?

Don't worry, I hear your questions!

The reason it's a good coping mechanism, for me atleast, is regressing allows you to process your emotions at your own pace. Though they might still be overwhelming, I find it much easier to let my big emotions calm down when I feel small, because it's like they slowly burn off rather than going boom!

If you're stressed a lot, it's a good way to temporarily remove yourself from your burdens! Like you don't have any worries other than 'should I use the pink or blue crayon?' Vibes! Pressure slowly bleeding off rather than having an outburst.

And, for fun! It can be fun to connect with your inner child, do the things you liked as a kid and reunited with that mindset! You don't need to have missed out on your childhood to regress, it can be completely for fun!

Now now, age regression isn't always all fun and games. Because you do think like whatever age you've regressed to, you might have temper tantrums or get cranky or confused if something triggers it.

That's okay.

Yeah, it can feel icky—But me personally, i much prefer these occasionally than letting my emotions boil over and having a breakdown when I'm not regressed!

I've lost and wasted a lot of my childhood. This is my way of healing and re-experiencing childhood joy. Please, don't ever forget that type of wonder, it's so magical and so nice and cozy.

It's a way to cope because it can be an outlet, a comfort, a way to regulate emotions, a way to escape, a way to just relax. And, while not everyone turns out liking it, that's okay! But it works for me, and so so many others. I've had atleast 6 or so friends start regressing and they're still doing it to this day!

And the best part is it's temporary, so if there's more mature things you enjoy? You don't have to give those up, okay? You can find time to regress and relax, and come back to your normal routine later!

It's benefits can be:

Destressing.

Processing lots of emotions at once.

Enjoyment.

Getting to do things you were denied as a child.

Able to let out emotions via tantrums or fits in a much less destructive headspace.

Reliving a simpler mindset.

Helping with sleeping. (I find it much easier to nap/go to bed if I'm regressed!)

Getting a fresh feeling after you're done regressing.

Stimulating if understimulated.

Can help if you're also overstimulated.

Healing inner child.

Coping with trauma/stress in a healthy way.

Help with doing chores. (It's way easier to make chores fun if you're regressed in my experience, but some hate doing chores while regressed and that's cool too!)

And it can be different for each person!

It is absolutely okay to have a different experience, struggle regressing at first or even always, or not do it often!

I recommend if you want to start regressing—Find something that makes your inner child happy, indulge in the best things you liked or would've liked as the age you wanna regress to, find ways to incorporate your current interests into it!

Also things that you like, or positive things can help too!

It's honestly my best coping mechanism, it isn't 'weird' or 'wrong' especially if it helps you. And I can guarantee it's far better than plenty of unhealthy coping mechanisms!

Sooo... yeah! If you want, I recommend looking more into it! There's a whole community for you here on Tumblr, and other sites!

And this post mainly only covers the positives, but it's what I wanted to focus on!

Byee!! (Pssstt BTW agere doesn't have to be all pastels and cute and stuff!! Do what makes you happy! Use whatever colours and vibes you want!)

#sfw agere #agere community #sfw regression #safe agere #age regressor #agere #sfw #sfw interaction only #sfw littlespace #sfw only #age regression #education #long post #rambeling #rambles #ramblings #not a professional #Just a perspective! #^^

[stripedwolf88]

The Eras Tour: Paris Night 1 (My Thoughts)

ALLLLLLLLRIGHT. So because @bettysgarden12 wanted to know my reactions and thoughts on everything that happened today, I thought I would share with the rest of yous. It's probably not going to be very in depth or analytical so fair warning on that hehe. Also this probably isn't in order of the show because my memory is trash haha.

1.First things first. The lover bodysuit. WHaT iN ThE FRiLly HeLl?!?!? I literally still don't know whether or not I dreamt of seeing that new bodysuit. Definitely, lesbian colors represented there and it was confirmed with the orange blazer she wore for The Man. It was not an accident I'm sure to have the inside be pink too.

(Side note: we all knew that The Archer was going to get cut. It actually makes a lot of sense too. I think we are past Taylor asking us to stay, not that she doesn't still hope us too. It's more like she is fine with blowing everything up now instead of focusing on the worry of messing everything up. At least I hope that is the case. We're here for ya Taylor. You got this.)

2. Second, the Fearless dress. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I also saw that it looks really reminiscent of the original dress she wore for her Fearless tour. It's almost like she is going back to what once was.

3. Third, transitioning right into Red was something. The new Red shirt says "This is not Taylor's Version" when Red is in fact Taylor's again. Some of my moots pointed out that it could be referencing the whole Real Taylor vs Taylor The Brand theory that we as a community have been developing for quite some time. With this thinking, it would mean that the Taylor we are seeing is not someone Taylor claims as her own or something like that. It's not truly her which we all knew already.

4. Fourth, we saw a new intro for Speak Now (now officially just Enchanted since Long Live has been axed.) I don't have much to say on that other than I wasn't surprised that Long Live got cut. This cut also makes sense if we are thinking that Taylor is gonna burn it down. No more reminding about the good times or the "needing" fans to stand by her forever.

5. Fifth, combining folklore and evermore was unexpected but also not? Idk it made sense and to me it just seems like it was easier to combine them since room had to be made for TTPD.

6. Sixth, Rep was Rep. Nothing really changed from what I could tell or remember other than THE FREAKING GLASS CASES SHATTERING!!! YOU BREAK THAT GLASS CLOSET TAYLOR! WHOOP WHOOP!

7. Seventh, 1989 outfit was...something. It's just not my cup of tea visually. I DID NOT notice the lion or tiger(???) charm she had on until someone else pointed it out. Very interesting either way.

8. Eighth, putting TTPD before Midnights was an interesting choice. The whole theory that we still have to meet her at Midnight (credit to my moots for pointing this out again) is supported by this I think.

9. Ninth, the dress for TTPD is amazing!! And so are the other two outfits. The marching band uniform and it's possible reference back to ME! music video? It has me in shambles.

10. Tenth, the performance for Who Afraid of Little Old Me was visually amazing and she sang it beautifully (no surprise there) with such emotion that it was impossible for me to look away. Her levitating across the stage was also freaking awesome!

11. Next the empty cages imagery?? The nurses pulling her away from her lover??? The image of her crouching in the middle of this weird ass place??? That one really kind of freaked me out. It was eerie and heartbreaking in a way I'm not quite able to explain at this moment.

12. I was conflicted about I Can Do It With A Broken Heart both before, during, and after the performance. I had a feeling she was going to perform it and I kind of wanted her to just to hear her sing it live but then not because I knew how the fans were going to react. I really did face-palm when everyone yelled "More!" on the livestream but we all knew they were going to. The transition into ICDIWABH made me want to throw something at the TV but I also did snort on the petulance on Taylor's face for the little act. I really liked the old Hollywood theme for the visuals and the dance. It was pleasing to watch. BY THE WAY....HAVING THE OUTFIT FOR ICDIWABH ECHO HER OUTFITS ON REP IS REALLY SOMETHING. She bamboozled me again.

13. Midniiiiiiights. THE BODYSUIT IS MY FAVORITE ONE OUT OF THE ONES WE HAVE SEEN SO FAR. I'm glad that Mastermind was kept. I didn't think that she would have taken away anything from the Midnights era but if there was I had this weird concern that it would be Mastermind. Thank god my anxiety was unnecessary.

14. The surprise soooooongs~ Paris is a favorite of mine so I'm happy she played it but also of course she did. That was another predictable thing that happened. Her performance of loml was again heartfelt. She seems really happy to sing these new songs and it shows.

15. I am pretty freaking sure that the Bejeweled lights were a LOT more colorful and rainbowy than usual. Was that just me? Please tell me it wasn't just me!

Overall, it is safe to say that I was not prepared for the absolute chaos that today brought.

Taylor, it seems like you're really doing this (I reeeeeally hope that is the case) and I'm so happy for you if that is what is happening. You do you and you show us what's up. I'm looking forward to it. <3

#kaylor #gaylor #gaylor swift #ttpd #the tortured poets department #the eras tour #paris n1

[bird-inacage]

Love Sea the Series: Trailer (Tongrak's Love Story with the Island and it's 'Ocean')

You know me, I'm back with another analysis. This time in response to the Love Sea trailer. As I was writing this, it led me to frame our two central characters' differing outlooks as follows. Let me explain.

Tongrak 'We're not a work of fiction, fairytales don't exist' Mahasamut 'We're not a work of fiction, life doesn't follow a script'

STRONGER THAN FICTION

"Didn't I tell you, I don't believe in love. I don't believe. It's not even real to me. Between us, there's nothing more than sex." What seems to fundamentally scare Tongrak is the very idea of love itself. A belief that prevents him from accepting that anyone could love him, or that he has the capacity to love anyone in return. Because love is a construct. A fantasy. A work of fiction. Love to Tongrak is just a fairytale, it's not rooted in reality. The passages of love in his novels could never truly imitate life.

So understandably he begins to feel shaken when his relationship with Mahasamut challenges everything he thought to be true. That what he's experiencing is in fact inspiring his writing. Because it surpasses fiction.

"Everything is up to you to decide. You can pay me as much as you want. But what you can't decide on paper, is that you can't make me stop loving you. You have no right to do that." Mut seems to insinuate that as an author, Tongrak is used to controlling the narrative. This is where he feels most safe, until Mut came along and threw that into jeopardy. Here, Mut seems to declare that he isn't just some character in Tongrak's story. Nor are his feelings. He has agency. Their feelings for one another aren't just lines on paper. Real life does not operate in this way, it veers off script. That's the beauty of living. Mut's life is one dictated by the elements. One that teaches you to be resilient, to take what life throws at you by embracing the curveballs. And love is no different.

A TRANSACTIONAL AGREEMENT

Tongrak offers to pay Mut initially as a means to get him off his back. "How much do I have to pay you, to stop you bugging me?" This is then used increasingly as 'a convenient excuse' that escalates as the plot ensues. I predict that Tongrak continues the guise of paying Mut as a pretence to spend time with him.

By doing so, Tongrak is creating a false of security that is twofold. One, that he's able to keep Mut by his side as long as he pays him. Two, convincing himself that Mut's motivations are driven by financial benefit. Framing this as a transactional relationship means Tongrak doesn't have to face what is developing beneath the surface. This also instils an illusion that he can procure the outcome he wants, which is to keep Mut by his side.

As Tongrak's feelings grow, this becomes an even flimsier front. "How much do I have to pay, if I want to take you to Bangkok with me?" You can hear how desperate he sounds. Whether it's a matter of pride or otherwise, Tongrak seems inclined to attach his request to an incentive. He may be too afraid to confront the possibility that Mut could willingly leave his life behind for him - because that would be out of love and not monetary gain. So Tongrak gives Mut a reason to do so. A reason he deems fit. One he can live with. I think Mut can see through this too, and plays into the whole charade, but ultimately all Tongrak would have to do is ask. "I'm willing to be your dog." (Just say the word).

"If someone who is not highly educated like me understands, between the two of us, there is nothing more than an agreement, right?" Even if Mut is very emotionally mature, and plays along to make things easier for Tongrak to swallow - Tongrak is still trying to deny feelings they share which have long gone past just an 'agreement'. (You do feel something for me though, right? This is just smoke and mirrors but you do care about me, right?)

THE FEAR OF DEPENDENCE

In the latter segments, Tongrak displays evident dependence on Mut. It's as if Mut's aid in his survival on the island has now imprinted on his life as a whole. Tongrak gradually embraces the guide that Mut is, to lead him on an adventure with no particular destination. There's every possibility that this is what Tongrak was afraid of. Of relinquishing control. Perhaps hesitant to do so in the hands of someone younger, more boisterous and seemingly carefree. Someone he wrote off as a "dumb kid" with little substance.

The diving scene could very well be a metaphor for this. Tongrak agrees to do something that requires trust in Mut's expertise, by putting his own safety in Mut's hands. And when he does run into trouble, Mut is there to literally bring him back to life. He begins to recognise that Mut is a man of responsibility, someone he can rely on.

There have been hints that Mahasamut is also going through his own battle with loneliness or isolation. Fort says "and now Tongrak is by your side, you are not alone." MAME also comments that "Mut is the guy who is as strong as a castle. The wind and waves can't hurt him. But Fort proved that a strong man can cry." I think that as Tongrak starts to realise how much comfort and reassurance Mut provides him, he'll want to return the favour. How can he be that same emotional support for Mut to lean on?

What we're about to see is not just Tongrak's love story with Mahasamut, or 'an island', but a whole other life he may have never lived, had they never met. Mut's interception into his life is rewriting the narrative he had consciously or unconsciously dictated for himself.

Note: As with any of my metas, I am basing my interpretations on what I have seen alone. I haven't heard any spoilers from the novel.

#love sea #love sea the series #love sea meta #rakmut #tongrak x mahasamut #tongrak #mahasamut #peat wasuthorn #fort thitipong #fortpeat #*clack clack* here she goes again #do i love reading into things too much? #YES #yes is the answer #ALWAYS

[livesincerely]

a little sneak peak at the sequel/companion to my other fic, this time with alpha!Eddie and omega!Buck

WIP. Mature themes but this part isn’t explicit.

Original fic here

00000

“—ck? Buck. Buck. Evan.”

Buck blinks, then blinks again, and the world comes back into sharp, angular focus.

“You with me?” Eddie asks, because Eddie’s standing in front of him again, one hand curled around his shoulder, firm and grounding. “I lost you for a second.” He frowns, then asks, “Why are you just standing here?”

“You told me to wait for you,” Buck murmurs, a little helplessly. “You told me to stay.”

Eddie inhales sharply.

“Jesus Christ, Buck,” he says in a rough, rasping voice. His hand tightens around Buck’s shoulder, his eyes deep and dark, and that decadent smell of cocoa-richness teases at his nose. “I’m gonna have my hands full with you, aren’t I?”

“Sorry,” Buck says, lowering his gaze. “I know it’s a lot.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Eddie says. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“It’s my heat,” Buck explains, or tries to. His tongue feels thick and clumsy in his mouth. “It makes me all…”

Eddie’s hand slides up his neck to cup around his jaw, his thumb grazing over his cheek.

“Dropped you like a sack of bricks, huh, querido?” he says in that same, raspy voice.

Buck feels himself flush. Instead of searching for any more words, he just nods.

“Okay,” Eddie says. “Hey, look at me.” Buck’s eyes dart up immediately. “Thank you for telling me. For trusting me with this.”

Buck doesn’t know what to do with the praise. He shifts on his feet, then stammers, “It’s— I mean, it’s you, Eds. I’d trust you with anything.”

Eddie’s eyes shade even darker.

“We should—“ Eddie stops, waits a beat, lets out a slow breath. “Let’s move this to the living room, yeah? Easier for us to talk if we’re comfortable.”

I would sit down right here on the floor if you wanted me to, Buck thinks, but he knows better than to say that kind of thing out loud. Not when Eddie’s already putting up with so much of his weirdness, and so patiently.

He manages an attempt at a jerky nod and Eddie’s palm presses against the small of his back, leading him into the living room.

Buck settles gingerly into one corner of the couch, fingers digging into his thighs. Eddie settles next to him—close, but not nearly close enough, but also way too close, actually, the phantom heat of his body just enough to tease at him—and the weight of his gaze is like a physical thing, unrelenting and inescapable.

“Buck,” Eddie says after several long moments of silence, and he shouldn’t be allowed to sound like that, all whiskey smooth with just a hint of growl. “Sweetheart, come here.”

Buck’s on him in an instant, tucking himself under Eddie’s arm and curling as close as he can, whimpering softly.

“Shh,” Eddie soothes, leaning back until they’re reclined against the cushions, legs tangled together. “I’ve got you. You just gotta tell me what you want from this. How I can make this okay for you.”

Buck opens his mouth but nothing comes out, the words trapped somewhere in his throat. He whines, high and trembling, the beginnings of tears stinging at the corners of his eyes.

“Oh, Buck,” Eddie murmurs. “It’s okay, cariño, I’m right here. But you’ve gotta let me help you.”

“It’s too much,” Buck disagrees, and it is. It’s infinitely massive, this yearning that burns inside of him, threatening to crack him open and shake him apart. “I’m too much.”

“Evan,” Eddie says. “You are never too much.”

“But—“

“Never,” he says firmly. “Now tell me.”

#911 abc #buddie #buddie fic #911 abc fic #*the writing desk #*editor's note #bits & bobs #hope you enjoy it! #I’m having a lot of fun with this universe

[zabiume]

dating when you're a shonen character must be so hard because all of your formative experiences are so tied into what happened when you and your friends had the Big Plot Events going on. how would you even comprehend sharing that with someone outside of your circle

#i guess it's easier for shinigami characters in bleach or shinobi characters in naruto because these are common occupatonal occurences #but i'm mainly thinking about ichigo/orihime/uryu/chad and their extremely specific histories #that could never translate into something understandable to an outsider – say. an oc – they're dating #for better or for worse some people are just going to be the only people that 'get it' having been there for the 'it' in question #you can't put it into words. you don't want to either so you stick to the people who don't NEED you to explain it to them #that's a dynamic that's interesting to me – especially when you consider that those 4 know more about each other than their own families do #their civilian/other lives are entwined; they fight together but they also hang out frequently #i don't like freely using the term 'found family' but there's really no other explanation for it #for better or for worse but mostly out of necessity these people WILL be in each other's lives at least tangentially until they die #it would be way easier for me to picture hisagi dating some random shinigami oc than say. URYU. #<- not because he's awkward or aloof but simply because i don't see him being able to explain being a quincy to them #much less explain the time he and ichigo wanted to strap zangetsu to their foreheads to defeat a gillian/menos/whatever

[majorshatterandhare]

Thinking to myself “man it’s a good thing there nine mechanisms to project my disabilities onto, wouldn’t want people to think I’m headcanoning them to have an unrealistic amount of issues.” When it’s like, I have all these issues! And some people have way more comorbidities than me!

#the mechanisms #i don’t only hc my disabilties onto them #like the LM/MC. someone i am close with has that. not me #but still i project *mostly* issues i have or similar #like i definitely dont have ocd but i have enough similaries in symptoms and my anxiety has previously manifested with ocd tendencies #as well as anxiety driven delusions. that it makes sense to just. like. tick it up a bit more for the hc #obviously research is done re conditions i dont have #but also the words are easier that way #it *hard* to explain my symptoms that overlap and muddle with other disorders so it doesnt make sense to do so for a hc #not when im describing it for my own purposes and not typically if i were to be discussing it w #it with someone else #anyway its ivy. i think that makes sense #part of me also wants to headcanon her to be a hoarder #because i struggle with that #but i think shes a good archivist and those seem to be mutually exclusive #unless she is hoarding non library/archive things i suppose #this isn’t just about ocd this is about many many things #my body doesnt work right and it does so in ways people just Never Talk About…. #the point is that if i headcanoned one character to have all the same exact problems i do it would seem excessive #when its not its just my life #and again other people have way more comorbidies than me! #fun fact: all your body shit is connected to all your other body shit

[arolesbianism]

Heartbreaking! My suspicions abt Wagstaff having some fucked up timeline shit going on were correct and now I have to scramble to come up with an excuse to not have to completely overhaul my entire swap au (it won't be hard my excuse is that it's an au so I can do what I want)

#rat rambles #starve posting #tbf the only two it super matters for is wx and wilson since theyre the maxwell and charlie of this au #but theyre also yknow. extremely important. so even trying to adapt for this would be a fools erand at this point #on the bright side this gives me a lot more to work with in terms of webber's whole deal #basically it gives me more leeway to actually make an explanation even tho its going to be a different one #I might still use the camera tho poor lil farmer boy got stuck in the camera 😔 #well not that exactly but it could be a useful catalyst to explain how he ended up trapped between realities #and it being a camera makes it a Lot easier to justify how he got close enough to it for stuff to go that wrong #one thing that could be fun is if I let wagstaff keep some semblance of an actual role in this au instead of being a corpse the whole time #basically use him to make some bullshit justification for the camera still existing in some form even if its a different one #actually.... I wonder if the camera is similar to the codex in some ways #maybe it's possible for any object that directly records the existence of Them and the fuel to act as a gateway? #it would probably have more specific requirements and be pretty rare but that could be a fun idea #I could definitely work with a concept like that to give wagstaff more to do and flesh out webber's backstory a bit #so basically the newest animation both gives a lot for me to work with and also killed my grandma so its a messy situation

[kiwibirdlafayette]

on your Aitheaca au, when I was writing I was trying to imply that what was stolen was Capsize, but in my want to be vague I know I didn’t do a good job. Like my train of thought was that Ianite was, to a lesser extent, sensing Capsize in a similar vein to how she was sensing ‘Dianite’ when it was actually Tom, if that makes sense. I interpreted this version of Ianite as a goddess who despises not knowing, seeing it as a weakness in herself, so when she senses something that is “hers” but unrecognizable to her, she lies to Flash.

also! thinking about crew dynamics is interesting, cause depending on how you split them up you are almost always stuck with an instigator and an arbiter. The way you’ve split them up rn, Sonja and Tom are instigators (more Tom leaning than anything) and Spark’s the arbiter. Martha’s the arbiter while the other two are instigators. But this fluctuates depending on who’s in the room. Essentially, there’s always going to be a high chance for issues caused inside the group and out.

OH!!! Listen listen liSTENNNN do not say you didnt do didnt do a good job you did an excellent job, there aint nothin wrong with the choice to be vague with it I just dont catch onto things very well xD I really love that idea a ton, I totes agree that she would be able to pick up on Capsize's Ianitian quintessence (the ownership thing I feel could have ties to Capsize's connection to Ianite in the S1 world leaning on the side of being a messenger rather than the champion kind of cues that Jordan would carry if that makes any sense) and also what ya had mentioned on AO3 too, about Jordan's quintessence having ticks of World Historians in him as well that would obscure things a little makes a ton of sense as well and bangs :D

and yeah!!! Aitheaca Ianite is absolutely someone who is hellbent on being an 'all-knowing' for the sake of ultimate balance, where her logic is that if she can control everything, that's how she can guarantee that chaos or order doesnt have an opportunity to rise up- and is the principle on which her reign was founded on. I can imagine this brings her into conflict with the notion of the Watchers (who inherently possess this ability, while she has to rely on her intuitive judgement and using visual conduits/spies, like taking control of Flash) which is why I could maybe imagine she'd want to keep these kinds of things from Flash. She's very much aware of Merina's presence around her champion, and holds resentment that she can't have Merina as her spy and that under the right theoretical circumstance, could break Flash free of her manipulation at any given moment due to her having a higher form of omnipotence (all this being said, Merina is a lower level watcher and isn't at the level of possessing godly foresight that Ianite seems to think she has) I very much want it to feel like a psychological game that Ianite plays with her subordinates that she would only want Flash to believe and be aware of certain things while lying about things like weakness or potential flaw

And crew dynamics!! yessahh the instigator-arbiter combo was absolutely intentional >:] For the sake of chaos (dianitee moment) but also while it would be so easy to just pair them off in travelling groups as syndisparklez/foxxsize or embersduo/zombiecaptains it makes for more interesting writing for them to be split up with the person they had the rockiest history with + a Ruxomarian who does not want to be stuck there (in some random reality across the multiverse) to begin with. In a way the thought process is the "get along or fucking die" premise especially when they start encountering like Flash but like ya said it really is a lot of infighting xD in the Martha led group the dynamic centers around 3 Ianitees all holding some kind of reasonable resentment towards one another (though they can bond over seein their goddess/mom in such a different light and how thats affecting them; like Martha especially not having seen much of Ia in Ruxomar and while she spent time with S1 Ia, I can imagine how jarring it is to run into a universe where your mom is a corrupt deity) And then the Spark led group is just a mess, because Tom and Sonja are both massive instigators in their own way and while they can get into some absolutely unhinged shenanigans as a duo a rift was absolutely torn between them post-S2/Isles era that they become prone to not be willing to go back on their opinions of something and hear the other out. Spark hasnt spent a lot of time with either of them so its hard to take on anything but a methodology of compromise which neither of them want to really entertain- When the four are together the banter can feel a little friendlier because deep down they do all care for one another, they just have a hard time expressing it

In terms of the other instigator duos with Spark n Martha (speaking of, I have a scene with them two and Sonja, which has been funky to ponder on when they encounter Mianite for the first time) its kinda just chaos. Chaos like when you put two besties together xD

#im ngl i started rambling again thats my bad LMAO #asks #mianite: the tales of aitheaca #licantropa #lafakiwi talks #mianite #mianite au #i also didnt get a chance to finish writin my reply on ao3 but im absolutely rollin with the idea of Capsize maybe being an unknowin spy to #Ianite 👀 I was sittin on that idea on how to execute it for the past few days bc i think it would be pretty neat to explore #a lot of Aitheaca with the 4 fruits is about their shifting perspective on their respective gods #between severance faith and distrust in the gods that i imagine theyve become jaded in a way over the years #in addition to Tom and the whole mecha dianite thing #in the absence of any dianite to begin with (bc at this point in the story cass is still searching for him) #sorry this took me a couple days to respond aaaaa #i really need to like. put all this into a google doc ive been procrastinating #i think once its laid out narratively itll be a little easier for me to explain bc rn its a whole jumble of #disjointed plot and character mapping in my head #that its like when i write it out its also me organizing it internally at the same time im sharing :'D

[manofthepipis]

Happy pride Mo :D! A silly question I thought of but do the Addisons have canon sexuality’s in your mind? Like Clicks, Survey, Sponsor and Banner? (All we know is that Spamton is canonically pan because of the sweepstakes lol) if not, that’s fine too!

aaaaaa happy pride to you too!!! :D one of the best months of the year!!

also i love this question, even if i haven't put too much thought in it lol. truthfully i'd like for readers to interpret them however they like, and i'd love to hear interpretations! gender is so vast in the dark world (with characters like seam using no pronouns and swatch confirmed using they/he also in the sweepstakes) and i love it

the adds prioritize their business and sales above relationships in general, but then again i'd feel like they think they're fun

#i do hc swatch as ace/aro tho but they're still playful about the gossiped relationship with spamton via their swatchlings #and their swatchlings know this and know when they start crossing boundaries #i love how spamton is pan it just fits him #the rumors of spamton and swatch was just harmless fun back in the big shot days #now don't get me wrong swatchton is a lovely ship and you'll see it sometimes on this blog #but that's just a lil swatch hc :D also why spamton kind of reacts so abruptly when explaining there was nothing going on #swatch finds the whole thing humorous as they're comfortable in their sexuality and knows they're something to be admired #and to show that friendships can still last even if ppl are rumoring about a relationship that isn't there #well 'last' being 'before sneaking into a guarded space and stealing the other's art project for the gods' #bc i think that would end a relationship WAY easier than a gossip chain #asks #fanfic #jevil is transjester tho i'm sold on that #mainly cuz i think jevil himself would love that for the pun #still it's funny to think that spamton is just Divorced with everyone

[creepykuroneko]

Whenever I see asian, brown, and/or black Americans reinforcing, supporting, and upholding racism, colonization, imperialism, colorism, and any other belief system that not only harms them directly but other non-white communities as well and they still want to claim that they themselves are POC and face discrimination I feel bitter disgust towards them.

#yeah I know the oppression Olympics aren't real #everyone has their own problems #but the way so many Asian Americans contribute to colonization of the USA #refuse to admit they are guilty of anti-black racism and won't even acknowledge the Native American genocide really upsets me #then of course there's the colorism that every single Community is guilty of #don't even need to explain that one #the fact that my fellow brown people are also guilty of anti-black racism is upsetting as I feel we should be allies #and let's be honest there are black Republicans out there #whether it be through self-hatred or combination of multiple factors a lot of black people don't want to see other black people succeed #plus I've seen my share of black people on the Internet Posting pictures of themselves in red face for Halloween or #talking about how if Pocahontas was real she would be a black woman #fucken really? #plus many middle class and higher Asian Americans and African Americans don't want to acknowledge who's stolen land theyre living on #i 100% agree African-American should receive reparations from the US government #but I see people talking about how they deserve to have a plot of land and that makes me uneasy #of course there was that whole Asian American vs African American violence during the covid shutdowns #white supremacist love to see anyone who is not white tear each other down because it makes their job easier #I know we have our history between all of us that has left scars that never healed #I just find it so sad that we as a whole are still tearing each other down instead of trying to do better #I don't know how to properly explain this without going into a long ass historic rant #plus I don't want to #no energy #just wanted to get some thoughts out of my head

[janebonbon]

new years resolution,,,,,,,,,,, draw more barnaby. end post

#dolly's rambles #but really new years resolution is to draw more in general #push our art limits more #draw more backgrounds and full drawings #which is so much easier with my new art tablet!! thank god #uhhh also learn (more) polish #Polish grammar will hit me like a truck this I know but I'm trying to stick to bulking up my vocabulary first #Vocabulary and spelling then grammar #til then we write po polsku like a toddler tak tak #apparently nouns have different forms depending on conjugation too?? #something about it being explained as 3D nouns to me but it made me physically ill knowing i will hate learning it #i will hope to be pleasantly surprsised who knows who knows! #aaah oh yes and comics #I'd like to make a comic or two even if they're short here and there #I have high hopes! high goals! #oh yes and hopefully i can get an at-home job or a desk job of some kind #because physical work is off the table i've absolutely ruined our body this way #i am built for the endless pursuit of knowledge! Not so much physical work #Which honestly wouldn't be such an issue unless work would actually abide by the limitations i've told them i have than pushing it #sigh....... but i digress #a new year! moving in two and a half weeks!! goodness gracious it hardly feels true... #I am excited! I am nervous! But I am filled with love and light for the first time in a very long time #my heart is filled with honey and i've never felt so sweet #That is something I have learned. Did you know? #It's a polish saying when you've been touched.. That it's honey for your heart #sort of like saying “that's so sweet!” #Miód na serce! #I wish you all a honey to your heart like that

[milkweedman]

Attempting some tablet weaving for the first time. I have essentially no idea what im doing--i did watch a few videos which mostly went in one ear and out the other, as well as look for some written guides which were completely indecipherable if for no other reason than Reading Hard.

The warping was fiddly but straightforward, and the first several inches are totally botched bc i wasnt really creating a clean warp shed bc i had no idea what belonged to what half, but after i figured that out it got way neater ! I'm not really concerned about how it looks though. This first attempt will serve its purpose either way, which is to be a bag handle so that i don't have to crochet or knit one. Yes i did finally try tablet weaving just to avoid knitting or crocheting more straps.

Also wow, these cards really arent going to last very long. I pulled them out of the 5 deck hand and foot set (hence why they're all 3s, since thats the worst card to get and i figured removing a few wouldnt be missed), but if id realized they deteriorate so fast i definitely would have just used something else. Oh well though.

Also, i had a feeling this would hurt my back, and indeed it does. I lasted about 10 minutes before it was too much. Might need to use a chair next time.

#was talking to my fiance about dyslexia earlier and have been thinking abt it a lot recently #was diagnosed as a teenager at the same time as the adhd #mostly dont think abt it and generally considered it not to affect me that badly #but i have a theory abt why i csnt read anymore and why written patterns are SO hard to follow #which is that i think reading for me takes a LOT of mental energy and focus #and if im low on that for whatever reason anything more than a few sentences is just utterly insurmountable and i can't read it #its even worse in any language other than english which baffled me for years #but ! my fiance was telling me how he has an easier time reading english than anything else bc he practiced SO MUCH trying to read normally #in english but didn't do the same in hindi or anything else #which like. oh. yeah. i also tried way harder with english bc that's what school was in and i was desperate to not be seen as stupid #which also explains why reading aloud in any language other than english is so so hard #reading hamlet aloud for english lit: god this sucks but i do love hamlet #reading dante's inferno (french translation) aloud in french lit: oh my god i hate every second of this and i think i will die from nerves #reading childrens poetry aloud in russian for my intro to russian class: if i dropped dead right now that would be preferable #and like my russian pronunciation was not the problem here #i could have a conversation with my teacher in russian okay #and i know cyrillic ! no problems there #but having to read it aloud ?? exhausting and miserable #anyway. all of this to say that i am not using patterns bc trying to mix reading with learning a new thing is just. not happening #backstrap weaving #tablet weaving

[the-busy-ghost]

I'm going to have to stop listening to In Our Time in the mornings, I'm just lucky my neighbours were out or I might have had to explain that the reason they heard a VERY loud shriek at 11AM was simply because I couldn't contain my reaction to something somebody said about Weber's Protestant Ethic

#Not even an area I know much about by the way #I was listening to the In Our Time episode as introductory material #But when I'm meant to be getting on with my work I launched onto JSTOR in a fury looking for articles that will support me #God I knew it was a controversial work but I had no idea just how easily it would make me unhinged #This is worse than when I used to listen to Today in Parliament in the mornings #At least then I only needed common sense to dispute whatever shite the Tory backbenchers were pouring forth #But this is serious academic dispute requiring an in-depth knowledge of the subject I do not possess and yet I cannot let it stand #Have genuinely had to pause the episode and take myself off to make tea but I'm still fuming by the kettle #Because it's an episode from like nine years ago and also a radio show not a lecture it also means #I can't just be all 'Explain yourself Sir!!!' (Sir being gender neutral and said with all the fury of an 18th century gent about to duel) #So all I can do is whine about it on tumblr and be completely distracted from the day's tasks #It was so much easier when I had the Ashes to listen to last week

[kummatty]

im putting it all together & it's rocking my world

#wow wow wow #there is such a gravity to it all and i can feel that but i am also so amused and find it kinda funny #in a way like damn they rly kept that secret locked in a box in another dimension #also i knewwww there was shit in my moms life that would help explain her more but that i would never know #this gives me some more context and i can start to make out some contours but theres still so much i dont know #i have such a morbid curiosity to jump into my moms brain and learn what made her who she is #we have a strained relationship so i want to understand and i also have a lot of sympathy and wish life had been easier/freer for her #but she also makes my life so difficult sometimes #and i wish i knew her when she was young and happy #my aunt was like i cant believe i told u this dont tell anyone #we had some misunderstanding and she thought i said i knew so she kept going and i was not understanding #so i kept asking what and who and finally got it #lmaooo #shes so cute

[moinsbienquekaworu]

i am about to sleep but i wanted to ask what your favorite poem is? will you tell me about it? what you love and why it’s your favorite? do you like any of its translations? i love you. i hope you have a good day 🥰

(⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠) beloved thank you for the question!!! As per usual I am incapable of choosing just one of a thing, so I actually have two favourite poems, one in french and one in english (because poetry in french and in english can be pretty different since the codes and models and expectations aren't always the same!) They're the two poems I can recite and know by heart haha.

The english one is Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, by Robert Frost. I really like the last stanza (like everyone else) but also just the way when you say it out loud it does feel like a quiet moment watching the snow fall all on your own. I found it recently accompanying a fic (two different fics actually but the second time I knew it) and it entranced me!

The french one is Chanson d'Automne by Paul Verlaine. It's a classic in France, some of its lines were used as a signal for saboteurs during WWII and there's an urban legend it was used to signal the landing in Normandy. I personally had to learn it by heart in primary school (I think in 4th grade?) and it just stuck with me. I like it for the way it feels to me and the images it evokes, but also just because it was the first poem I learnt by heart and being able to recite a poem is an easily overlooked comfort of life (insert those posts and quotes about art being vital and what we need to be able to turn to in dark or light times)

Other poems I like include Remords Posthume and L'Albatros by Baudelaire, Le Dormeur du Val by Rimbaud, Le Déserteur and Je Voudrais Pas Crever by Boris Vian, Funeral Blues by W. H. Auden, and Mad Girl's Love Song by Sylvia Plath. The french ones I studied in school, and I found the english ones on my own (I feel like I found both in Johnlock fics?? but I might be wrong about Funeral Blues, it's been years) I included english translations where I could for the french ones, and they're not necessarily incredible but they should let you get the vibe. If one of them speaks to you I can try to explain what makes it tick! My personal anecdotes with those because that's half the fun: we had to analyse Remords Posthume for literature class with my best friend K, and what's really cool about it is the last line, "et le ver rongera ta peau comme un remords", because it plays on the homonymy between ver, the worm, and vers, the line of poetry, meaning she will be devoured physically by worms since she'll be dead but also that his verses, his poem, will make her feel remorse; I like the albatross analogy because I was a weird kid who felt comfortable with books but not with my peers; Le Dormeur du Val is extremely extremely sad and beautiful and I think Rimbaud was a very interesting guy; technically Le Déserteur is a song and not a poem but I first saw the text without knowing that so for me it's a poem forever now, and I love talking about the original versus final ending thing; the YouTube channel Le Mock did an excellent reading of Je Voudrais Pas Crever and it's a jewel, I love it so so much; Funeral Blues was the first english poem I ever liked (or maybe read honestly) and I wrote it on the cover of my 10th grade english notebook (because the teacher was great and said that if we forgot to do our homework he wouldn't punish us if we could recite a poem for him, so I wrote it down and tried to learn if by heart in case I forgot my homework); and Mad Girl's Love Song features in a fic I read a few weeks ago and I just think it's neat. I probably forgot some but those are the ones I remember right now (edit: ADA LIMÓN!! I FORGOT ADA LIMÓN!!! Accident Report in the Tall, Tall Weeds (the I can't help it, I love the way men love poem) hit me in the chest the first time I read it and it's so so good)

My favourites (and most of the poems I like actually) are pretty popular because I'm not really into poetry that much on my own. I get attached to poems once I see how they work inside and analyse them, but I don't sit down and decide to analyse some poem from Les Fleurs du Mal at random because it feels like homework, and I don't go looking for poetry because I'm very hit or miss (I get bored at long winded descriptions in those 4-part 7-pages poems and a lot of things trip up my instinctual Pretentiousness Radar™, and while it's not necessarily accurate it does turn me off poems). So I just stay with the basics, but that's fine, because the comfort of carrying poems with you is there whatever the poem is y'know?

Also question, do americans learn poetry in school? I assume you must analyse some in literature class, but I don't know if you learn poems when you're young. I know we also do lots of La Fontaine's Fables, though I personally never did, but learning poems to recite in primary school is a thing almost everyone has done here I think.

#i just like. literature and literary analysis. when it's like poetry and it rhymes. when there's literary devices for a reason. #i'm an english lit major for a reason!!! #thank you for reminding me of what i like in literature my classes are so boring it's hard to remember sometimes #also the sheer joy of explaining poems i like to people who don't know them #like i could not explain le dormeur du val to a french person because they already know it and associate it with boring literature classes #but you don't! because you weren't forced to spend hours of lit classes on it in 8th grade whether you liked it or not! #it's like - yes they're well known poems but they're popular for a reason y'know #oh an honorary poems are some songs. like mistki's songs? that's poetry. that's just poetry! #it's like le déserteur - it's a song but isn't it poetry too? when the text follows the same rules? when you can analyse it the same? #actually all because of you feels like a poem too. if you know what i mean? #and dans ma ville on traîne by orelsan reminds me of a primary school poem - l'école by jacques charpentreau #it's all poetry and it's so cool and i love it #OH and racine's plays. they're not Poetry poetry - they're plays - but they rhyme in their entirety and follow a specific pattern #that's poetry!! that's just poetry!!!! #if you want me to get phèdre out and read you some racine i would be delighted to it's so nice to listen to #there's a rhythm to it and it becomes much easier to understand once you say it out loud - like shakespeare #anyway. LITERATURE. #wow i have a ramble tag now #wow i have an asks tag now #i love the way men love indeed

[senxitive]

I want to take this moment to acknowledge that I feel confident in my decision. Before it slips away and I start back with the "what ifs." I made the right decision, not only for myself, but the other people it would have impacted and things must get better from here. The time for action was months and months ago, all that is left is trauma and pain now. And I am right to move on. I can't let this affect me any longer.

#he many times pinned me for expecting the worst...but i knew the outcome from the moment it started #yes some of it was me catastrophizing but it was also that i was attuned with the reality of the situation from the get go #we officially ended it for the second time..and hopefully the last...just this last weekend #he asked me what i wanted in reality #i told him at this time...all i wish is that i were easier to be friends (feels impossible...im so damn wounded) #asked him what his was then #and he said friends 'at a minimum' #then walked it back and said wishes best friends #honestly i was hot and tired from walking and dont have the emotional stability and did give him the what for #i said you cant say shit like that motherfucker #lmao i cant stand myself but thats how i felt and i had no fucks to give at that moment #and reminded him that he needs to watch how he says things..to me....to anyone #explained that what is SOUNDED like he was implying that at minimum he wishes we were friends but hed like *more than friends* #he then clarified he would like to be with me but doesnt know how and cant in the way i want it to be #makes no fuckin sense actually and im done trying to understand it #'in the way i want' ?????? you mean a normal fucking relationship? lol idek #very done #hopefully i can ride the no fucks train until all the heartbreak has dissolved into a closed healed-ish wound #personal #delete later