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polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup · 4 months

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It may have already been said somewhere and I just missed it, but how long was the partial custody for Megumi with the Zenins? I assumed it was once a month for a couple years, but I guess it also could’ve been every weekend (poor Megumi)

Maki remembered it as one weekend a month, but she was also like, six or seven when the Zenin still had partial custody, and whenever I have the memories come through that kind of haze of age, I always have them be kind of hit or miss in its accuracy. For example, Maki remembered Megumi as being five, but he was actually six when the arrangement started.

It started as one weekend per month at the beginning, which is how Maki remembers it--that was the number that the clan leadership brought to everyone else when they finally got Gojo to agree to partial custody, and the number that people bitched about and celebrated in turn whenever they were pissed that they only had him for a weekend a month or thrilled that they finally got some kind of time with him. If you ask Maki what the arrangement was, she would say it was one weekend per month.

In my mind, that's not an entirely accurate number. And it was mostly because the Zenin were constantly, constantly pushing their luck to get more time with him.

There was more than one time where they'd refuse to hand Megumi back over unless it was gojo personally come to retrieve him. Gojo was the only one who had the firepower to actually force them to give Megumi back--if he wasn't there and they wanted more time, then they'd just. Keep Megumi. And it wouldn't be until Gojo pulled himself away from his missions and showed up to personally pick him up that they'd suddenly cooperate again. If Gojo was out of contact or just too busy to get there--and the Zenin would ask their contacts in the higher ups to make sure he was--then they'd get a few extra days with him.

Which is another one of the reasons why Megumi's relationship with the adults suffered so badly during this time in his life. From his perspective, he was barely hanging on by a thread and struggling through each day with the Zenin, and he'd finally, finally get to the end of the weekend, and Naoya would come up and tell him that Gojo hadn't bothered to send anyone to pick him up and that they'd get to keep him all week. It would crush him every time.

But in reality, Nanami would be parked right outside of the Zenin compound, having arrived early to get him, pissed as hell and fuming on the phone through this endless phone tree of assistants trying to get Gojo on the line so that he could come back to get Megumi himself, because the Zenin wouldn't even so much as let him through the front door.

Back then, the trio were just young and easy to take advantage of and were honestly, really, desperately trying to make this somehow work. They had no idea how bad it was for Megumi on the Zenin compound and didn't want him to just. fucking hate this people that they assumed he'd build some kind of relationship with. They'd always downplay how fucking pissed they were at his family too, because they were trying to keep it together for the sake of the kid, who actually didn't want it together to begin with. So when they finally got him back, and Megumi asked why no one had come to get him, they'd never say "Your shithead bio family wouldn't goddamn give you back when we first showed up and Gojo had to threaten to rip Naobito's spine out his asshole so they'd let us take you home this time," it'd always be something like "You know, bud, your family really, really wanted to spend a little bit more time with you" or "Your family only wants Gojo to pick you up and Gojo was just really busy this time."

Eventually, Megumi stopped asking. He had already decided that they didn't care enough about him to come. He didn't need them to say it out loud.

In my mind, Megumi's pride is something that's always been very important to him. And I don't mean that he's prideful--it's that he knows what it's like to be kicked when he's down, but he won't give them the goddamn satisfaction of making him cry too. It's about maintaining dignity. He has no intimation about whether he can win every fight, but they won't get him to fucking beg for mercy when he loses it. Even when he was facing up against Sukuna, he never once begged for mercy or let him see him flinch.

In my mind, a lot of that was born during this time of Megumi's life. He was in a scenario where he was helpless and afraid. He asked for help, and he didn't get it, and that cut him deeper than anything the Zenin ever did to him. So he wasn't going to repeat mistakes. He wasn't going to ask for help that was. not. coming. So the Zenin keeping him past when custody was agreed to was another thing he just sort of started swallowing and not fighting on when it kept happening, which made the teen parenting trio think he didn't mind as much when it happened, which made them a little bit more lax when it came to the zenin overstepping. If megumi hated it there, he'd make more of a fuss when he had to stay longer, wouldn't he? He'd say something instead of just quietly getting in the car. And they were all so busy with missions that it was hard to die on the same hill every time pickup rolled around.

Like. Fuck. Gojo was staying up for a week straight by official design because he had so many missions that he legitimately didn't have time for sleep scheduled in it. This was the kind of mission load he got more and more whenever the Zenin's monthly visitation weekend rolled around, because the Zenin were pulling strings to keep him busy. Nanami showed up on time to do pickup, got turned away at the door, spent three hours on the phone trying to get someone to tell the Zenin to give him the fucking kid back, all while fielding hacked off phone calls from assistants trying to get his ass to go on his own missions. They had Tsumiki at home losing her goddamn mind because they promised her that her brother would be back today and he wasn't and they needed to figure out who was managing her while the trio were all off on their own jobs (because while they had somehow not died in a house fire when Toji left them on their own for months they all quickly learned that a seven year old really really should not be left on her own for a week), and forcing the Zenin to give Megumi back meant that they needed to make arrangements for him too. things slipped.

Like. I want to be clear, the teen parenting trio failed majorly around this time, but they failed because they were specifically set up to fail by adults who were dedicating all of their time to tearing them apart. There's this like, entire saga back then with how they were manipulated and how this got so bad that lives in my head that only comes in through as patchwork in the text of sea glass gardens itself. the audience only sees the effects and how bad it got, and in retrospect, it seems obvious that the Zenin never should have gotten any time alone with megumi, especially if they're pulling shit like refusing to give megumi back when their time with him is up.

But it's like this:

They each have twenty four hours in the day to use. Let's assume eight needs to be for sleep. That leaves sixteen hours in the day to fit in food, personal errands, missions, studies, hobbies, and taking care of Tsumiki and Megumi.

So the Zenin would say, great, make sure they have seventeen hours worth of missions on the day that they're meant to get Megumi.

Nanami wouldn't get quite the same treatment as Gojo. It would be more obvious with Nanami since he could never manage at the same level as Gojo, and he'd make sure that no one scheduled him for missions when he was supposed to be collecting Megumi.

But they would schedule him immediately before. And immediately after. And it's impossible to tell when missions end for certain, because it depends on how fast he finishes the fight. Now he's rushing to be there on time for Megumi. He can't just send Ijichi or Shoko--they're already refusing him half the time, they'll just laugh if they send a noncombatant to get Megumi--and there's already higher ups trying to divert his fucking car onto the next mission because he's late for that.

If they don't give him Megumi, that's hours of trying to get ahold of Gojo, because he accidentally destroys phones like they're made of soap bubbles, and it's fucking hard to figure out where he even is in the world in that moment. More likely than not, he's going to have to leave and come back tomorrow, where he has another fifteen-sixteen-seventeen hours worth of missions going on tomorrow. He already lost three hours to trying to get Megumi. With the seventeen hours worth of missions, that's twenty hours in his day gone, and he's got four hours to what--sleep? He hasn't even finished his commute yet, let alone getting food, showering, getting Tsumiki in order--

The Zenin giving him Megumi when he asks means he needs to get Megumi home. He needs to make sure there's groceries in the house. He needs to make sure that Megumi has his toothbrush and doesn't need any bandaids and drank enough water recently. Just chatting about Megumi's day with him represents resources--time, energy, mental space--that Nanami's on extremely short supply of.

Gojo, meanwhile, doesn't get seventeen hours worth of missions--he gets thirty hours worth of missions to cram into a twenty-four hour day. He's gojo satoru. he'll figure it out. And he gets that workload every single day in his week. There's a lot of curses, and only one him. They're desperate. There's a huge influx of curses, and a personnel crises, and if the ends don't meet then people die. He's the only special grade that even does missions anymore. People needs him to make it work, and he doesn't really need sleep anyway. He can handle the load, because he's gojo fucking satoru and can do what no one else can.

Getting the phone call that the Zenin refused to return Megumi again means he has to travel back from wherever the hell he is in the world, go to the Zenin compound, knock on the door, tell them to give him back his fucking kid, only for them to immediately return him with minimal grumbling when they were telling Nanami three hours ago that he'd need a tank and an army to so much get them to open the door. He's got a million and one things to do, and he knows that if he makes the trip all the way back to get Megumi, all he's going to be doing is walking him from the Zenin compound to the car. It takes the wind out of his sails. It feels like task that anyone could do even if they'll only technically cooperate for him, so it has this manufactured sense of being a waste of time.

It frayed their already thin nerves even farther, because Gojo started feeling like he has to do everything and Nanami felt frustrated with himself and Gojo because it's impossible when he does it but the Zenin comply as soon as Gojo flies back from the other side of the goddamn world just to do a custody pick up. And then all the other little things that are falling apart--like the fact that they need to get groceries, the fact that neither Megumi nor Tsumiki have done their homework for Monday and also they're out of toothpaste--build into a huge, exhausting burden when they'd normally be nonissues.

If Megumi's with the Zenin, he's in a secure location where they know he has food. They know that there's adults there making sure he's eating, sleeping, isn't running into traffic, etc. Fuck, the issue is that they're too attentive to him--they want to keep him and take care of him for even longer.

And Megumi doesn't seem to mind. He stopped asking them to pick him up on time weeks ago.

The Teen Parenting Trio were out of their minds with exhaustion, felt like everything was falling apart, and the fact that the Zenin kept violating the custody agreement just... almost seemed to solve more problems than it caused. If they fought it, it would mean endless hours of more work for them, when they were already too busy to even get proper sleep. If they just let them get in a few more days, then they knew Megumi was getting three square meals and had adult supervision. It means they don't have to pick up groceries, because they have enough for one kid but not too. It's less toothpaste they have to buy and less meals they have to prepare, and they were just so goddamn tired that they couldn't do that stuff to begin with.

The Zenin would sometimes get more than a weekend because they would bend over backwards to make the Teen Parenting Trio too overwhelmed to force them to give Megumi back after a weekend. On the weekends where they were set to get Megumi, they would just take all or most of their clan off the roster entirely and push their workload onto gojo and, to a much lesser extent, nanami. They would arrange circumstances to make them frustrated with each other and at each other's throats instead of showing a united front. They were a lot of very experienced, very manipulative adults putting 100% of their effort towards breaking a group of grieving teenagers, and they succeeded in a lot of ways.

Megumi just started shutting down after he didn't get help when he first asked, so the teen parenting trio didn't realize how bad it was for him there, but the visits that went long were always the worst for him. A part of him would always worry that they were never coming back. The Zenin would always tell him that they hadn't come because they didn't care about him or didn't want him because he had misbehaved, so he'd constantly feel like he was on the verge of losing tsumiki and being trapped there forever.

Megumi never, ever has admitted it to anyone, but he still has nightmares about being trapped in the Zenin compound without a way out, even with all the years buffering them. He doesn't want to tell Gojo or his sister. He hates that he's fifteen and still having nightmares of them. He always told himself that Gojo had kept his word and that there was nothing the Zenin could do to get past Gojo, so there was nothing they could do to force him back there.

This last week felt a lot like being trapped in one of those nightmares.

When Megumi was a kid, there were a few very rare times that Gojo let Zenin have him more than once a month. Which, again--in hindsight, he can't believe he ever did that. He hates himself for it sometimes. In the moment, though, it made sense. They'd always give him back to Nanami without a fight if Gojo caved and let them have him twice a month instead of once. It was less of a headache to give them a couple extra days in the month than fight them for a week about returning him on time. There were a few anniversaries and events that were important to the clan that they kicked up a huge fuss about getting Megumi for as well, and this was nominally supposed to improve clan relations. Fuck it, letting them have Megumi for the anniversary of whatever was the sort of compromise Yaga said they were supposed to be making.

For the most part, it was one weekend a month. That was the original agreement. that was what it was always supposed to be. But there were a few months that it was two or three times a month. There were a few times it was for a week instead of a weekend. And the Zenin were constantly fighting for more time.

I never set in stone a definitive amount of time that the arrangement went on. In my mind, it went on for around a year and a half before the Zenin overstepped and they had to go no contact, but I'm not married to it. It's nebulous.

#sea glass gardens #the zenin really really just hit megumi with all of his vulnerabilities at once #they really did hurt him in a way that is hard for him to verbalize #megumi spent his childhood stuck on that compound trying to run down the clock until gojo would come get him and terrified that he #wouldn't come or that megumi wouldn't make it that long #now he's fifteen and he feels like he's six again and he knows that he cannot run down this clock #gojo isn't going to get him in time. he is not going to make it.#he was so scared of dying in that fucking compound as a kid and he thought that it was finally happening #really the only thing that could hurt him worse than what the zenin have already done was to find out that they “love” him #he just could not take that right now #he feels like the monsters under his bed just crawled out and dug their teeth into him and the only consolation is that that's what monster #do. you don't expect more from them. at least it's predictable.#if you tell them that the zenin did it because they loved him all along it would just break him. they are the worst thing that ever happene #to him. they have hurt him more profoundly than anyone else alive. and they cannot goddamn tell him they did it out of love.

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upsidedowngrass · 1 year

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i will say one of my Biggest pet peeves in one fanworks is 'liam becomes the new airy.' like im sorry i respect u and ur interpretations and ur creative interests !!! im glad ppl have fun and have ideas about post canon one, theres a lot of potential there!!!! but also the moment that i see a work have liam do this i instantly stop paying attention

#not putting this in the tag cus i dont wanna make ppl feel bad!!!#and like. i HAVE seen works that mildly explore it but in a way that i kinda like #but its just. it bothers me So Bad #like it contradicts every trait liam has ever shown in the series AND all of his motivations #'ppl qct ooc under stress!' yeah but it doesnt make ppl act in ways Completely diff from who they r... like hes still liam #at that pt hes just a whole new CHARACTER #but its like. his ENTIRE motivation is that he wants to stop anyone else from going what he went thru. will do anything to prevent that #itd literally undo what makes his entire character him at all to have him go back on that. thats literally his most prominent motivation #its SO intrinsically tied to him as a character #like yeah!!! him and airy are both isolated in that world. there are strong similiarities between their characters #but they still went theu snth DISTINCTLY different.#airy died and was isolated. liam was kidnapped and then isolated. it feels just different enough that i CANT see how #liam would just end up as 'airy 2.' their experiences may be similar but theyre still extremely different #and its like. ive said it before but i think julien is meant to serve WAY more of a parallel to liam than airy is #if theres anything i think liam would do if he couldnt get home? it would be to try and try and try #until hes just... not going anywhere #his stubbornness (and juliens stubbornness for that matter) is vital to understanding his actions.#hed never stop even if it meant he REALLY never stopped. and i think thats just as emotionally impactful #and? even if he WERE to act ooc. uh #tbh? i think hes terrified of dying. he does NOT like it. i think esp after the waiting room hed dread it bc all he knows of it #is that hell just keep dying and dying. or end up just stuck there forever #but. if he were to start rly going against his established traits. i think hed more sooner off himself than start s3 #ESP since it is his own concern for others that makes him act the most Against his own self in the entire series #when he tries to kill airy. bc he couldnt stand the idea of everything continuing #and airy doing this to more ppl. THAT is what is strong enough to make him go against his own personality #and i think its too deeply intertwined into his character for him to try to deal with isolation by kidnapping people #esp not owen.#suicide mention #ANYWAY. these tags r long #OK TO RB BTW if u want i just didnt tag it bc i dont wanna make any1 goin thru the tag sad or anything

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fluffypichu876 · 25 days

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

not my sunbro...

damn you miyazaki...

#i'm so sorry my friend... it was for your sake...#given that this is dark souls i should have seen it coming but man...#HIS DEATH DIALOGUE NOOO #you should have found your sun my friend...#not a fucking bug #SERIOUSLY SOLAIRE DYING BECAUSE OF A BUG???????#were you that desperate?#oh god i feel terrible #later i had to go to anor londo to try to find something and seeing that area around the bonfire completely desolate without solaire there #it was so fucking depressing #AND I SAW LIKE 3 DIFFERENT MESSAGES SAYING 'tears?' LIKE YEAH NO SHIT #so i left one too :')#*sigh* i miss him already #i keep letting characters die and now firelink shrine is more of a grave than a nice safe sanctuary to chat with npcs #(haha funny there's an actual graveyard there haha oh god)#ouch i just remembered that i kinda let larentius hollow #god he was so nice too #he literally trusted me with a part of himself dude wth i feel horrible #the fromsoft experience™#i remember when i felt terrible for getting the immortal severance ending in sekiro #NOT MY BOI KURO DAMNIT #and wolf becoming a sculptor like the proof of an endless cycle of suffering that i failed to break...#god i hate that ending #*sigh* back to ds1 at least siegmeyer is still alive and jolly as ever #except he met me at firelink and said he was going somewhere and now i'm terrified that's he's just gonna die too ahahahahahah help #NOT YOU TOO ONIONBRO STAY ALIVE OR I'LL... I'LL KILL YOU #...sorry for venting in the tags #AND THE WORST OFFENDER IS THAT I HAD TO KILL HIM MYSELF FUCK #i'm so sorry my friend... my sunbro...#dark souls

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finalhaunts · 9 months

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Okay my mutuals who can drive I have a question. Literally how the fuck are you able to drive and be able to be constantly aware of literally everything around you from lights to signs to pedestrians etc etc etc ….. i’m in drivers ed and driving is fucking terrifying and I don’t know how i’m supposed to just. Keep track of so many things. I’m TERRIBLE at multitasking and keeping my attention on multiple things at once

#.txt #its literally so so fucking scary driving is So scary #every time I get behind the wheel all I can envision is me crashing into soemtthing and dying #or accidentally running someone over #or breaking something #and it doesn’t help that my dad is the only one instructing me when i practice at home and he terrifies me #being in the car with him scares me so much because I don’t want to be yelled at #and since my mom is a piece of shit its not like she can instruct me so I have no choice but to be EVEN MORE TERRIFIED THAN I ALREADY AM !!!#god i hate this i hate driving i hate living in the suburbs i hate not being able to go anywhere without driving I Hate It

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fragmentedblade · 5 months

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I haven't looked forwards to a character as much as I've looked forwards to Sunday. I hope he won't disappoint

#He seems potentially so my type and I love the angelic aesthetic #He seems so shady and I love that. Robin does too and I adore that too but I'm afraid of expecting too much haha #Hanabi and Black Swan are interesting in a lore kind of way but I don't like their design at all tbh #Kinda getting tired of the female characters having all the very same look. They are not even from the Xianzhou so there's no excuse #Hanabi is like a mix of Guinaifen and Tingyun come on. And I find the design of Black Swan so boring with the potential her lore had #Skirk kind of situation #Ruan Mei and Dr. Ratio have managed to interest me a lot for what I've seen in leaks #but I hadn't been waiting for them to appear as I've been looking forwards to Sunday #Other than Sunday the character I'm most looking forward to is Firefly. I don't know #I've been digging the dynamic with Blade ever since I first saw leaks about Sam‚even when I thought them seeking death and life respectively #was due to each their different ways of not being fully human with Blade being immortal due to a mistake and Sam being a robot #But now he's an immortal old man seeking death and she's a little dying girl with time against her looking for life‚#both in a way the consequence of an experiment‚ and I find that potential interesting too #Besides I find so endearing and so funny that terrifying imposing Stellaron Hunter Blade is in a group with two young girls #that bully him a bit‚ make fun of him and take his phone. Extremely into how Silver Wolf is protective of him too #In general his dynamic with the Stellaron Hunters is very nice and sweet and intriguing for what I've seen #Abfkabfn I always end up talking about Blade. What I meant is that! I'm really looking forwards to Sunday #He seems extremely Jack-coded in some ways. A bit like Jing Yuan but in some senses More and I love that sort of character #I talk too much

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meximango · 8 months

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Day 11 - once bitten, twice shy - PG - Cahsi + Haurchefant

Summary: Haurchefant interrupts Cahsi's work. She is not the friendliest.

The sound of a cup of hot cocoa being placed heavily onto the table near her piles of books brought Cahsi out of her own head. She had a feeling the cup would have been set directly onto her papers she’d been staring at blankly and uncomprehendingly for the past quarter bell if she wasn’t known to lash out when startled--sometimes violently. It would have served no one well to have the desk covered in the steaming, sugary drink. Just think of the poor books! She looked up to find exactly who she expected: Haurchefant, the only friendly face in this gods-forsaken snowy wasteland. One of the only people who hadn’t tried calling her a heretic. Certainly the only person to try offering her food with an actual taste to it (Ishgard’s cuisine was not for her).

Rather than being a balm on wounds, or a reassuring presence, the man’s kindness set her on edge, raising the hair on her tail whenever he was a bit too friendly. She was always stuck waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Too often in her experience, such boundless kindness was a front, just a way for someone to try to manipulate themselves into getting something out of her. She’d rather someone be upfront in their malicious intentions, get it over with. Perhaps spending half a decade in the pirate capital and finding herself hanging around seedy establishments and just as often working for them as a waitress had not helped her biases, but she hadn’t been wrong yet.

Nice people could not be trusted. They either played the long con before finally stabbing you in the back fully, or in the rare circumstances where they were truly good, truly kind, where did that get them? It got them destroyed and betrayed. Look what had happened with the scions, just when she’d started to feel like she might fit in with them one day, when she’d started to grow attached… Well, no more of that. Once bitten, twice shy. She’d learned her lesson. Everyone would leave her again, everything would get taken away from her again. First her birth parents, then her adoptive dad, then the rest of her family, now the scions. It was an unrelenting and unavoidable pattern, so she would make it easier on herself. When she had nothing to begin with, nobody to care about, then there could be nothing to lose, and that meant keeping people at arm’s length. Especially “nice” people who brought her hot cocoa unprompted and smiled sweetly and asked about her day like he actually cared. It took a lot of willpower to push the drink away, especially when she noticed it had little marshmallows in it (be strong, Cahsi!). She was just about as picky about what she imbibed as what she ate, and this was unfortunately one of the favorite things she’d tried while in this land. She was a sucker for sweets, and it would do a wonderful job of staving off the biting cold--she hadn’t realized how numb her fingertips were until she had touched them to the mug to slide it back across the desk toward the elezen who had been quite presumptuous to bring it in the first place. She did her best to level him with a cool, unappreciative stare. “Perhaps Alphinaud would be a better suited recipient for such a drink. I have no need of it.” Ha. Not even a thanks. That would teach him. Maybe he’d finally give up trying to befriend her and just leave her alone.

(Then again, she really thought she deterred him for good when she nearly attacked him in the midst of a panic attack after he’d revealed the thoughtful ‘gift’ of a black chocobo he had raised himself, demanding he take it away and stay away from her before she did something rash. She had outright refused to ride that blasted bird, barely looking at it before she instead summoned her carbuncle with a little extra oomph, making Rosie large enough to ride through the skies. Honestly, who thought such a dangerous, taloned, beast would be a good present. She saw it as the threat it was and would have nightmares for weeks--to think that some breed of chocobo could fly!)

He grinned at that, as though she’d told a joke. What in the hells. “Very kind of you to think of him, but no worries. I already gave him a mug of his own. If you change your mind, it’ll be here. It seemed like you could use a pick-me-up, was all. You’ve been hard at work!” Instead of leaving, like any sane person who’s being treated as coldy as the weather outside, the knight pulled back a chair and sat diagonally to her at the table. He crossed his arms on the wooden surface casually, that smile never leaving his face. She moved her tower of books to block his face from view, but he just leaned to the side to continue eye contact. Cahsi’s ears flattened a bit against her head. “Are you waiting to be excused? If so, then you are. Have at it.” She almost considered added shooing motions to really get her point across and through his apparently thick skull. “I’m on break. Even knights get those, and who better to spend it with than an esteemed hero such as yourself?” He waggled his eyebrows. Not a hero, she wanted to bite out. A hero would be able to save her frie--colleagues instead of running away. Maybe she should have said it, sour his mood, make him regret sauntering over here with his banal flirting. Go hit on someone who cares, yeesh. “I think you mean heretic. It's still everyone's favorite word around here, from what I can tell. If I hadn’t fallen down witchdrop early on in my stay, I’m sure the local guards would have thrown me down there themselves.” “And yet, here you are enjoying the city’s resources, free from further harassment--” Her raised eyebrow was effective in making him stutter; he put his hands up in mock surrender. “--a-apart from me, of course, ha. You proved yourself to them. They don’t say such things anymore, no matter what you may believe. They think you’re a bit…impersonal, bordering on rude--but that you’re dependable too! You may grumble plenty about a job, but you don’t really say no to lending a helping hand when it’s truly needed, either.”

He was always so quick to smooth out a sharp statement with a soft one. A chaser. She wished he’d spare the flattery, she wouldn’t break just because some stuffy arseholes had a low opinion of her and saw her as little more than a task master. Alphinaud was the diplomat in the group, she was there to provide the firepower. And to go on fetch quests, apparently. “How fortunate for me they’ve grown comfortable enough to ask even more of me.” Her words dripped with sarcasm. “I have more important things to do than be stopped by every poor sod with a sob story, you know.” “Hmm.” There was a thoughtfulness to that word, so much there that wasn’t being said. She jumped to every worst conclusion possible, every uncharitable meaning, and it made her blood pressure rise. Like so many things these days, it made her angry. “What does that mean, ‘hmm’, hmm?” She began to bare her fangs in warning. “Oh, not so much as you are assigning it, I’m sure. You are just so easy and fun to rile up. I came over here to relieve some of your stress, but it seems I’ve added some fire to your soul instead!” At that, he finally laughed.

Her chair screeched against the tile as she stood up, ready to either fight him or walk away, she was not sure which would win out. That finally alarmed him. He hadn’t meant to make her leave. He’d interrupted her, and he regretted that it was coming to this. She couldn’t help but relish the sudden frown on his face, even as it made her feel a bit guilty at the same time.

“Wait.” A request, a hint of pleading. Missing the teasing tone, pure sincerity. “I do like teasing, but you are not in the mood. I apologize. May I start over?” Why was he trying so hard? People gave up so quickly and easily when she was like this, but Haurchefant was different. He seemed apologetic, even though he hadn’t really done anything. Cahsi just had a short fuse for much of anything these days.

She gave a silent nod of assent, and the way his eyes lit up like that was embarrassing. What a pathetic guy. She shouldn’t inspire those kinds of feelings in people just because she deigned to give them her time.

The elezen cleared his throat as though preparing a speech. “Why, hello Cahsi! So lovely to see you--” (oh, he really was starting over) “--I brought you a hot chocolate to cheer you up, as you seemed to be a bit under the weather. Possibly overwhelmed from everything you’ve been thrown into lately. Would you care to talk about it, or talk in general?” It was straightforward, exactly what she’d previously been hoping for. Ugh. Damn him. She paused. perhaps because she was thinking, but more than likely purposefully--just long enough to start making the knight squirm and sweat and feel awkwardness crawl down his neck before she finally sighed. “Alright.” Before he could do something as foolish or ridiculous as thank her for being willing to chat with him on his break, she held up a finger and continued. “But do not say I did not warn you. I may rant. It may involve many swear words and complaints about your home.” Haurchefant grinned once more. “I won’t tell anyone else, lest their ears burn. You may find I can rant with the best of them.” He swung his arm in front of his chest, ending in a thumbs up, his signature, dorky, reassuring pose. She sincerely doubted this man could find two mean-spirited words to say if they bit him on the arse, but hey, he asked for it. He didn’t seem cowed by the prospect, once more willing to put up with her farther than expected.

She brought the flask at her side out (yes, the one with alcohol, which she used to keep the chill at bay in this wintery wasteland. She wasn’t a lush, but it was impossible to deal with Ishgardian goingson without at least a little relief), pouring some of its contents into the hot chocolate. Haurchefant raised his eyebrows a bit at that but didn’t seem to judge her daydrinking. For a second she almost thought she saw envy in those eyes. Wouldn’t do for a knight to drink on the job, huh? She took a long swig of the drink, and ok, maybe alcohol shouldn’t be mixed with the marshmallowy kind of hot chocolate, but it was still pretty good, and it loosened her up enough to have an actual conversation with this actual nice person without actually biting his head off. He could thank her for her restraint later.

“So, where to start… Oh! How about that wild goose chase I was sent on earlier. Completely soaked my clothes through with icewater when I…” Haurchefant definitely stayed on break longer than he was supposed to, Cahsi definitely drank all of the hot chocolate and also definitely enjoyed herself more than she promised she would in their back and forth venting. For an eternally friendly knight who exuded heroism and good will, he certainly hadn’t been lying about being able to rant with the best of them. He’d even managed to teach her a swear or two, which was impressive.

Cahsi wouldn’t say that she would like to repeat this sort of conversing often. She certainly wouldn’t call it camaraderie. But…it was surprisingly not terrible. There were few things about this place that weren’t terrible, so maybe it would be fine to indulge in this sort of thing again--if the knight didn’t piss her off too badly first; her tolerance levels were wont to change at a moment’s notice.

The hot chocolate he made, at least, was worth it.

#ffxivwrite2023 #ffxivwrite #ffxiv oc #haurchefant greystone #haurchefant: I can fix her #Meanwhile cahsi is just a hissing kitten who will attack anyone who comes close. she was nice enough if distant during most of arr #then she became an angry bitch for most of HW. Sorry alphy and haurch for dealing with that #anyway cahsi never got too close to haurch. wouldn't allow it. and he tried but he just couldn't get it right most of the time #they would be great friends if they'd met at different points in life D: which is so sad.#also oof my guy giving cahsi a chocobo is a surefire way to gain her hatred. how was he suppoed to know she's terrified of them! What a mes #mango writes #anyway I felt bad for only writing his dying breaths in the last one so here we get a tiny bit more of him. I need to replay arr and hw #I seriously remember so little other than hot choco + black chocobo + his death lol poor guy

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dylanconrique · 2 years

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what terrifies me more than steve dying, is the thought that he could possibly turn into an upside down creature.

#*and this is icarly!#stranger things #st season 4 #steve harrington #this might sound stupid ig but when he was being attacked by those bat creatures #i thought that he was turning or going to turn into some sort of demonic monster the whole time idk why #and for some reason that terrifies me more than the thought of him dying #i thought some alien shit was abt to go down it was not looking good for my dude #so glad nancy and the crew rescued him on time

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navree · 2 years

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don’t tell me what actually happens cuz i wanna keep myself relatively spoiler free until the episode airs but the idea of vhagar, who is huge, basically just eating arrax and lucerys whole like the whale swallowing jonah or that scene from finding nemo is so unbearably fucking funny to me that if that’s actually how lucerys dies, sorry to the pro blacks people but i am going to fall over laughing, if they wanted it to not be hilarious they should have given lucerys even two percent more development

#personal #no literally for one the idea of vhagar just turning into a venus fucking flytrap is unimaginably hysterical #for two as i've said them not doing ANYTHING to try and develop the blacks or give any of them beyond rhaenyra and daemon #any sort of fucking characterization #is now a huge problem because lucerys is about to die at the age of like thirteen as he tries to make it back to his bereaved mom #and i could give less of a shit beyond vague pity #this is a child dying terrified and far from home i'm supposed to be despondent #but i feel more emotions about aegon putting a hand in front of alicent to protect her even as she puts her body in front of him #to protect HIM and pulls his hand back because the ultimate goal is to keep him safe (which does indeed have me fucked up)#than i do about the idea of lucerys being full on murdered in cold blood #because they haven't done ANYTHING with him at all #i literally cannot name more than two personality traits even if i wrack my brain #that's such a writing fail i'm not gonna shut up about it

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allofuswantgwinam · 22 days

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A SHOP FOR KILLERS SPOILERS

so im on the last two episodes and 🤧🤧 freakin lee Dong Wook looked so good in that uniform i was losin my mind, but I CANT WAIT TO FINISH IT. it’s been such a roller coaster and i still wanna believe he’s not dead but I can’t anymore 😭😭 cause i bet he offed himself so Bale can’t get him *DONT TELL ME IM JUST VENTING!!!*BALE IS FUCKIN CRAY. I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT I CANT EVEN CALM DOWN. terrified. im actually terrified of him and I hope he gets murdered so hard, how is he even not dead already after that whole flashback scene I am pisssed!!!!! and I’m still not over my ex baby boy, we call him baby bitch now 😭😭🤣💀 hopefully he dead and died a slow painful one while hanging upside down since he wants to be a psycho and lock people in rooms to see if they’re really mute or not wtf. and the way he thinks he killed jeong jin man … but really is just a weak coward 🫢 I hate him so much. Pasin or ig Ji an’s master 🤣 love him, he is a vibe and I understand he scammed people but I forgive him 🫶🏼 he bettr not end up evil i s2g 😤 I love this show

#ITS SO GOOD #HOEPFULLY ME AND MY FRIEND HANG SOON AGAIN #WAS FUN #AND SO WE CAN FINSISH IT 🤣🤣#IM DYING #also Bale is kinda sexy bc there’s something wrong with me #it’s fine #I don’t enjoy him tho 🤣 he needs to die #he’s just more terrifying than sexy lmao man has no emotion’s literally #just murder people #and be visibly so glad about it 💀#everytime they showed his creepy ass face I was like ‘pls he’s so scary i can’t’ 🤣🤣#but on the inside I was also like ‘so scary pls shove your dick down my throat amen’ 🤣🤣🤣🤧🤧 this is one that’s just for tumblr #my friend will never know 😭😭 bc he will unbestie me for sure 🤣🤣

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mirialan · 5 months

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I don't think I could ever live by myself. Actually, I know I can't. I've known for a while. It's been a fear of mine for a long time. My guy has been M.I.A. for almost a week now and my roommate is at his gfs place for the night. So I'm here on a Friday night completely by myself, working overtime and trying not to have an anxiety attack about where my man is. My mind gets so dark and I feel so alone and scared about my future and it's literally only been one day of me by myself. I would never make it living alone lol.

#i'm used to my guy just ending conversations abruptly when he needs a break or some time to himself #sometimes it's just bc the convo is dying or he doesn't know what to say #but he ALWAYS at least reads my messages even if he doesn't reply #but my messages being on “delivered” for almost a week now?? when we were in an active convo literally two minutes before hand?#just feels weird #part of me is scared his phone broke or sumn and that is scary bc he has no social media so we talk thru text and that is literally it #if he lost his numbers somehow and also had to change his number there would be no way for us to communicate and that terrifies me more than #i expected #but also that seems like a ridiculous scenario and i need to chill #maybe he just accidentally muted the notifications for me and he hasn't noticed i messaged him #sometimes we can go a week or two without texting so it's not weird for him to not have checked his texts or felt it was weird that he #hasn't heard from me #made the mistake of telling my anxiety filled friends and two of them were like “i would be worried that he died”#which don't even get me fucking started on that possibility #i know i could call him but we literally haven't spoken on the phone in 6 years #it might come off weird af it turns out he just muted me by accident he would think i'm just calling out of the blue #and we're not in a relationship so it might come off even weirder if i explain how worried i was 🙃#ramblings

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cachien · 11 months

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#vent #tw: death/dying #yesterday was fcking tERRIFYING for me #like #wth idk how to go about normal life rn #i took ONE SIP of a cross-contaminated drink that had accidental peanut butter in it #and within half an hour i was on the verge of death and had to be stabbed with an epi-pen #(which fucking HURTS wth nobody warned me it would hurt that badly)#my poor fiance had to be the one to administer the shot while on the phone with 911 #fortunately i was lucid enough to retrieve the epipen and hit call on 911 and hand him my phone and the pen #and he freaked out for a second bc he was scared to do it #and BOY did that shit hurt #but he did do it and it literally saved my life #and it's so so so crazy to think that a tiny bit of cross contamination nearly killed me yesterday #and i'm still so tired today like im in recovery mode but it's way more than just physical recovery #idk how to go about my day now everything i eat or drink i'm terrified #and my left thigh is still in so much pain like it's so sore and i'm shaky when i walk #i'm so hyper aware of my heartbeat and it's a combo of i'm so grateful it's still going but also so scared it'll speed up again #last night my blood pressure dropped like 12 hours after the hospital and we drove back to the ER just in case #didn't check in bc i'm broke and have no health insurance (another degree of fear rn)#but stayed nearby in case it got worse and we did need to check in #it's just... it's fcking scary and idk how to deal with it #i've had some brushes with death before but always in a way i could fight #where my survival depended on my strength and reflexes #not where my own body was killing me and i was at the mercy of hoping the epipen worked quickly enough #and now this is just??? the rest of my life???#like until i die i have to be scared of anything and everything i eat?#also anaphylaxis can recur up to 72 hours after the initial reaction without any new exposure #i was so scared to sleep last night i woke up like a thousand times bc i was afraid my body would shut down while i was asleep and i'd die #and i have TWO MORE DAYS that can happen

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voidhope · 10 months

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The Other Woman

(Part 2 FINALE)

—

Synopsis: Miguel had left Y/N for another version of his old wife in hopes of getting his old life back. To only realize the mistakes he’s made.

Link to Part 1

Pair: Miguel O’Hara x Spider!reader

Warnings: very heavy mental health, ANGST LIKE A LOT OF ANGST, ALL OF THIS IS ANGST, mentions of death/almost dying, long term establish relationship, cheating, swearing, therapy, physical fight, blood, feral protective miguel?

—

A/N: hello again! this one is more heartbreaking and longer than the first part oof… Very low dialog up until closer towards the end! wanted to just get through telling the story itself and the emotions. It’s just a very heavy storyline!! I want to say thank you so so much for showing so much support for part 1 i had no idea it would receive that much attention :O !! i wrote this out kinda fast as i didn’t want to loose the momentum of the idea. so apologies for any mistakes! all feedback is greatly appreciated ~

—————————————————

You used to make Miguel coffee everyday, with one cream two sugars, and he would nag about how he hated the taste. It was to your liking, not his. As you would sneakily take sips out of his mug while working next to him. Why didn’t you just get your own coffee? You claimed you could never finish it and just wanted a taste out of his. Miguel would roll his eyes at you every time he caught you but he adored it. He had secretly grown to love the way you made it and had become his only way of making coffee after meeting you.

Now as this version of his older wife made it the way he is suppose to like coffee, bland and straight, he found himself bothered by it. Going as far to correct her even though this was what he had been claiming to have missed so much. He was now seeing himself teaching someone else how to love him like you did…

He was only a shell of the man he was when he had Gabriella. Even though the copy of his old wife has her same personality, the relationship couldn’t be exactly how it was before because he had changed so much. You had helped him become whole again. His tastes and likings had all switched to everything about you. The charm he found in his old wife doesn’t hold a light to you now and he was getting frustrated. He had wanted this so badly. He felt like those babies who whine and cry wanting to eat a lemon and once they get their way they realize the sour truth.

Miguel never truly realized what it was like to loose you until three weeks after he told you the truth. Over the years the idea of losing you terrified him but he only ever thought of it being in death. He never considered separation when everything was perfect for both of you then. There were times he believed that you were made just for him and he treated you like his queen. Which you truly were to him in his spider society. Why would he ever throw that away? Look at what he did.

He gave himself every excuse in the book before you knew he was cheating on you. ‘This is only for research.’ he would think every time he found himself back in that universe. As everyone knew he was so serious about his work, obviously this is just him getting to know more about certain universes and canons. Lyla was the only one seeing straight through him knowing where he was actually going. Things kept tumbling and the more he found out about the place and spent time with her the more his grief and yearning returned. It was all just there, so reachable.

There was a time his mind tried to snap him back out of it while cheating on you and made him realize the guilt. The first time he kissed this woman you were there in his mind. He came home right after and held you without saying a word. You never questioned him, just showed him comfort as much as you could. Lightly stroking his back, you never over stepped or pushed him when he was vulnerable with you. He only closed his eyes and held onto you tighter processing how you were always too good for him. He was converting to living two different lives; his old self during the day and then coming home to you. He didn’t want to let go of either at the time.

Once he found out he could safely have Gabriella again was when he became distant with you. The shame of using you for research made him become stoic. He didn’t want to admit how wrong he was treating you. All while you were always being so loyal and trusting towards him. Things were slowly slipping through the cracks and he knew he couldn’t up keep it. He wished he could have had that conversation with you so much differently but it was over. Now he had his old life back, a dream he had his mind set on.

He ignored the shakiness in his hands when he returned to her after letting you go. ‘It’s all for the best.’ is what he would repeat in his mind as a mantra. His new girlfriend truly had no idea who he really was or what his background was. Miguel continued to feed her lies to the point where he even started believing them himself getting too lost in avoiding what he’s done. He believed he was happy as he spent time with her.

When she got too close to finding the truth after finding his wedding ring in one of his pockets, he set her off course from it by revealing his spider identity and taking her to HQ. This was the day that everything felt like it was crashing around him. Being reminded of his marriage, having to face his friends with his new lover, sharing his personal spider life, his work with someone who wasn’t you. He excused himself rushing to an unused office room while his chest was tightening. Pupils dilating as he realized it was his first time having a panic attack.

Nevertheless he continued to push it all aside and act completely normal with his girlfriend. He was feeling your absence the most while working. You had became an extension of him. He had trained you from scratch and you helped him build this society he has now. You knew the ins and outs of everything and fought perfectly alongside him. Now that he was on his own he let his girlfriend be there for him when he got stressed, but there always was a knot in his stomach he never could get rid of.

The more his mental health ate at him late at night the more he considered searching out for you. There was no closure between both of you and he never got to listen to how you feel. What was your opinion on all that happened? Do you hate him?

He wanted to speak with someone so badly but he dug himself in a hole too deep. You were gone, he was lying through his teeth to this poor woman he’s kept for some fantasy, he felt too ashamed to say anything to his friends, he would rather die if all his workers found out how big of a piece of shit he is. Anytime Lyla tried peeping a word that wasn’t work related he would snap. He had pushed everyone away and now he just felt alone.

Regardless he would wake up in the morning and swallow all his dark feelings. He would remember his grief of when he lost his family and it would put him back in the moment. He has another chance. He was happy with the direction he was going in now.

Right?

—

The day he found out you were at HQ he felt his heart stop. He was mid mission trying to call for Lyla but she wouldn’t answer. Frustrated he tried looking into what was happening only to see her busy having a conversation with you. It felt like something took over him when he opened a portal in less than a second. Without thinking nor wasting a heartbeat he rushed back. Just a glimpse of you, maybe just to hear a word out of your mouth. The feeling of having you back in HQ was making him ignore all his insecurities. How he would coward at the thought of trying to reach out to you before. You were in his home, your home, and the thought drove him wild.

You were already long gone though. Lyla stared at him not saying a word. The quietness in the room making his ears ring but his thoughts were screaming in his head. He stood there frozen still trying to recollect himself. He was the one that left you, what is wrong with him?

Again he went back and forth in his own head trying to convince himself ‘You wanted this.’ but if he did why is he feeling like someone just killed a puppy in front of him? Why is he here fighting with his self if this is really his dream? Why did he try chasing after you? The wounds of his past grief were too deep. He never took the time to properly heal and now look at what he’s become.

“Miguel, what’s this?” He was startled turning around seeing his girlfriend holidng your watch and skimming through the divorce paperwork addressed to him.

There was no more hiding, no more lying. He swallowed hard even though his throat was dry. He let everything he had kept away rise to surface. It hurt him to see the beautiful face his old wife shared contort into such anger and pain while finding the truth.

She didn’t stay, but for some reason he wasn’t upset. Though he longed for his daughter, he knew it would have never been the same now. He finally closed the door on his past. His heart had made the choice this time but it’s too late. Now grasping onto the divorce papers left by you, emptiness spread through his soul.

—

You on the other hand did not find yourself crying by yourself on a rooftop for long. The shift in the air from your arrival alerted the local spider-man immediately.

“It didn’t work out, did it?” He crouched down next to you as he noticed your watch gone and your missing wedding band.

Peter Parker knew both you and Miguel. Your husband had come to do many rounds of research in this universe when he took you. Eventually offering this Peter a spot in the society, which he politely declined due to just being busy enough here. You both never spoke much but always had an appreciation for each other.

“Do you need a place to crash at?” He continued while trying to get you to look at him. Reaching his hand towards you.

You had absolutely no one and you had been gone so long you couldn’t even go back to the little you had. When you met Miguel you didn’t hesitate to never look back and now it filled you with regret. How naive were you to put all your trust and reliance on him.

You took Peter’s hand. You were ready to start your own life and be your own person now.

—

Peter Parker was nice enough to let you stay with him as long as you needed it. You both had became ‘besties!’ as he would love to poke at you. The first month with him you were a disaster really but he showed you how he liked to cope using his spider abilities.

The first thing he helped you with was getting a new suit. Your old one resembled too much to Miguel’s and you felt suffocated every time you put it on. Peter had taught you to use your current emotional pain on whichever sad little villain was making trouble out in Brooklyn that night.

“Come on, we got multiverse spider-woman helping me keep these streets clean now!” He would taunt at the men while watching you easily take them out a little bit too aggressively. His feet kicking up and down while he sat on the side of a building watching you. The crime rate did go down a bit once word got around how strong your punch was. Peter’s just happy he can now spend some nights to himself.

You got yourself a job at the mart on the corner to help cover bills for Peter and save up. You were grateful enough the owners never batted an eye when you would disappear during a shift to either suddenly go cry uncontrollably or beat the shit out of someone at a nearby robbery. Next thing you were enrolling yourself back in university, wanting to finish that degree you never did.

It wasn’t too long that some of your older spider friends would stop by to check in on you. Seeing them was difficult sometimes, you were internally itching to ask about Miguel. Things were going okay for you on a very slow path of breathing step by step. You never wanted to feel that hurt again and so you very well pretend like Miguel didn’t exist if you could.

You couldn’t ignore the hurt resurfacing when you passed couples on the street. Or when you found yourself going to fidget with your wedding ring just to remember it’s gone. You can’t just move on from a relationship that was so deeply apart of you and lasted so long. You gave everything to him and it will take you much time to get yourself to build trust again.

After two semesters, you finally had your graduation. All the things you learned while in Earth-928 paid off as you barley had to study. Passing top of the class, you immediately got an offer for an internship opportunity with Alchemax and was able to get an introduction tour of the building beforehand.

What you hadn’t realized was that Alchemax had been looking for that girl who snuck into their offices a couple years ago. Who made another dimension’s spider appear and then went missing herself soon after. They had kept as close tabs on you as they could and how foolish you were to think your little break in wouldn’t come back to bite you. The moment you stepped foot back in their building, it was over for you.

—

Miguel had spent a whole year in much deserving therapy. Nothing could stop the embarrassment he felt when Peter B signed him up with HQ’s best spider-therapist after 3 months of constant out bursts. No one could come near the man when he felt like he had lost everything. Those first initial months were difficult for everyone around him.

Therapy did help, he hates to admit it, but it was a very rough ride. He finally was able to understand his deep inner term oil and heal his issues but moving on from you? No, he could never.

You were the only one who had sincerely stood by his side, always rooting for him. He never fell out of love with you despite of everything that he did. He just pushed everything down too deep and was blinded by obsession. Till now he could never deny that he still loves you. Maybe if he just would have went to therapy years ago instead of acting out on unsolved grief none of this would have happened. The guilt always making him toss and turn at night.

He would have big temper tantrums when he would find his coworkers going to visit you time to time and not sharing any details. He needed to know if you’re okay. Did you already move on? He longed to find you and speak with you but he knew he wasn’t ready yet. He was so self destructive and this was what he deserved.

Everyone avoided him completely when he overheard someone saying you were living with Peter Parker. Fighting crime with him and having a cute little home life. Peter followed you around now like a puppy. Miguel did not take the news well at all. Let’s just say, the large bill replacement for his monitor screens was what snapped him out of that rage.

He also wanted to strangle Hobie Brown every time he saw a glint in his eye when your name was mentioned around. Yet Miguel couldn’t hate the kid either, as Hobie was one of the people to try help repair the damage he did to you. How badly he just wanted to hold you and shield you in his arms from any other people taking you from him as if he wasn’t the idiot to let you go in the first place.

Everyone’s big, powerful, scary boss was really just a grumpy, wallowing-in-self-pity, sensitive, lonely man now. Mention your name too much to him and watch him start crying or take it out on whatever he could find nearest to him. He would some nights scroll through your wedding photos while listening to your last tracked log with Lyla. Your words cutting through him deep like long sharp knives. How he urged to go tell you it was all wrong and how guilty he was for making you feel like this.

Despite it all, he still believed in being the best of the best. He used his work to distract himself from his sorrows, to become numb. Even though his divorce paperwork were set next to him on his desk to remind him the pain. He never signed it.

—

“We can’t tell him!” Jessica gritted through her teeth. Small group of spider-people were hovered around Lyla taking in the new found information.

“Her canon events have always been uncertain, we can’t just stop and fix this one?” Gwen Stacy suggested in hopes.

“We have never prevented a canon event of hers or the people involved in it. It could be even more dangerous than a regular canon.” Peter B spoke grimly.

“When ‘as danger ever stopped us?” Hobie spoke up.

“Everyone get your gear.” Lyla added to the stress of the situation.

—

You couldn’t open your eyes properly with a strong blinding light being held above you. Arms and legs secured on top of a metal surgical table. You could feel the warmth of blood scattered on certain parts of your body, slowly starting to dry. It was a mix of yours and the people you had tried fighting through to get out of here when you realize the trap you were reeled into. Different people in lab coats poked and pried all around you while you were tied. Your mask was thrown on another table and your suit had large gashes across it.

Soon you also could feel the presence of Peter Parker being brought to the room, thrown slumped in the corner breathing heavily. They had gotten you too good. They knew everything and had planned this so detailed.

“Now you’re going to help me open the multiverse.” Kingpin loomed around you. All you could feel was searing pain as a laser aimed right at your chest.

—

Miguel was already staring out the window to the glowing night lights of Nueva York when he saw a big hole appear in sight of the skyline. His eyebrows furrowed while he was trying to process what he was looking at. It wasn’t a second later when all alarms started going off in his office.

“Qué carajos?” He exclaimed seeing the alerts of a possible universe collapse. “Lyla! Why wasn’t this being taken care of already?”

“I already sent people.”

“Then what are they doing?” He yelled. His confusion and anger only furthered when he saw a red alarm for a canon event.

“Canon event?” He whispered to himself. He always knew when these were happening, there were none scheduled for today. There was no way he would let one passed him, it’s not like this could magically appear? His jaw dropped in realization… a new canon event.

“Lyla, tell me the truth. Why wasn’t this reported to me?” He made the atmosphere turn cold. She knew he already figured it out.

“A new canon event was received this morning being given to Peter Parker. Of Y/N L/N’s death.” The words from Lyla made Miguel’s body go still. His eyes raced side to side while he processed it.

“No!” He roared, a fist slamming into the nearby desk. His massive strength breaking it in half.

“Boss, you can’t go on this mission only using your emotions.” Lyla warned. However Miguel was already half way stepping through a portal to find you.

He appeared, watching his team struggle to shut down the machine causing the collapse. Outnumbered by the amount of Alchemax puppets. A different kind of rage filled him as he saw you, for the first time in a year, suffering. Miguel was never one to act reckless while on missions but he had no plan here and just ran off the pure adrenaline the fight or flight had hit him with.

His claws tore into the backs of his enemies as he jumped beast-like across the room. Not hesitating spilling blood across the wall while he took everyone down as fast as he could. His team could only watch wide eye with an unsettling fear as they saw Miguel lose himself to his spider sense. While he fought they took the opportunity to take apart the machine.

Miguel was panting heavily, pupils blown wide glowing red, and fangs dripping with venom as the room slowly silenced. Kingpin laid on the floor slowly trying to drag himself after being beaten to a pulp. It was over. Peter B stopped him from doing anything further. Knowing Miguel would kill the man, Peter B let the team finish up to give Kingpin to authorities. Miguel turned frantically to look at you seeing the other spiders step away. Peter Parker was hunched over you in tears. Miguel fought the urge to snap at Peter and grab his hands off of you.

Your vision was too blurry and everything felt like it was burning. A shape that seemed too familiar came into your peripheral vision and you tried to push yourself up.

“Miguel?” Was the last thing you croaked before slumping back passing out. Miguel catching you in his arms before you could hurt yourself further.

“It’s her time.” Jessica spoke behind him. Yet he was refusing to let go. He had never defied the way the timeline worked since he created his society. He would never break the rules and you both had promised each other before not to. If there was a situation like this you both agreed to save the universe first. How stupid was he to think he would listen to that now facing it in-front of him.

He never got to tell you what happened. He never got to apologize. He never got to tell you one more time that he loved you. Even if you in result just spat in his face, at least he was able to talk to you one more time. You were never a placeholder or someone to fill a hole in his heart. His whole heart belonged to you and he couldn’t let you go thinking you didn’t mean anything to him. No matter the consequences, he needed to tell you.

“Call all the teams to control the damage of a possible universe collapse.” He turned to Jess with Y/N tightly in his arms. The spider-people watched speechless as he opened a portal and disappeared.

—

Two weeks you laid motionless in the HQ’s medbay.

The clean up after breaking the canon was a little intense. They were able to get it under control as the event started to fade from your timeline once you were returned and starting to heal in Earth-928.

The spider society would remain silent near the medbay. The lights always being dimmed and hushed whispers between staff to not bother the distressed O’Hara. He refused to leave.

Your Peter Parker had now joined the team, much to Miguel’s dismay. Everyday your friends would come in and check to see how you were. Some telling stories about their day or any gossip updates you missed, in hopes that it would get you to wake up. They would ignore the gloomy Miguel who was basically glued to the seat next to you not saying a word to anyone.

At night Miguel would play with your fingers and softly stroke your hair all while pleading “Please don’t leave me, please don’t leave me. Por favor mi alma.” He knew it wasn’t his place to beg this after what he did, but he didn’t mind the words falling on deaf ears.

Miguel hadn’t eaten in days, he felt too nauseous from anxiety to even try anything. Pavitr had done the favor to bring you and Miguel’s favorite empanadas from a small street vendor downtown. Hoping to get Miguel to at least try the food before he ended up in a hospital bed next to you due to starvation.

You started to blink open your eyes, spots surrounding your vision. You could hear a soft breathing to your right side and you slowly felt your sense come back one by one. It felt like you just had a really rough nap.

“Oh my god that smells so good.” You moaned, sitting yourself up to try to look at where the smell of food was coming from.

You were met with a wide eyed Miguel holding a box of empanadas. His jaw slacked open acting as if he’s seen a ghost looking at you. Confusion hit you first for a second and then you start to panic.

Why was he here? Why was your ex-husband sitting right here? You started to push away from him and Miguel caught on to your panic.

“No, no, no mi amor stop.” He tried calming you. “You’re hurt, you’re going to open your stitches.”

You suddenly remembered everything that happened right before you blacked out. At that moment you forgot the hurt you had towards your ex-lover. Gathering yourself you just stared at him. “I’m suppose to be dead.”

Tears rimmed your eyes. Why did it feel like life just hated you so much?

Miguel engulfed you in his arms as you started to cry. You didn’t care right now. You had ached for this feeling again, so alone, with the comfort Miguel used to bring you. Just for a moment you could pretend like how it was before.

“We can’t do this Miguel.”

He knew what you were thinking. He didn’t want to let you leave his arms yet, as he let his self hold harder and push your head closer into his the crook of his shoulder. The tickle of your breath on his neck, he just wanted this forever.

“She left. Almost a year ago.” He let out to you. A big weight coming off of his chest. You pulled back from him and looked up into his eyes while you watched him avoid your gaze. You felt bad to say you could feel a bit of satisfaction bubbling in you.

“Good, she deserved better.”

“So did you.” Miguel sighed playing with his hands. Your eyes widened when you saw the ring still on his finger. He let you stare. “I-I could never. I couldn’t.” The emotions struggle to come out of his mouth. You understood him though. You always did. Placing your hand on top of his you just nodded.

“Please stay here.” He whispered.

Miguel had broken you in so many ways. Yet he almost ruined another universe just to keep you alive. You both needed time to talk and coming out a coma right now isn’t good timing.

“I finally became my own person when I went back in my universe. I enjoyed my independence.” The words pelleted at him. He could only hold his breath as he waited for you to continue. “I’ll stay… but not for you.”

It wounded him deeply; but he deserved it. This place will always be a home for you even if he wasn’t apart of it. Before he can tear his gaze and turn away, you reached out to hold his face close to yours. Your fingers gently rubbing on his cheeks as you slowly look at him properly after so long. You let your thumb smooth over his frown lines and he leaned into your touch closing his eyes.

“Let’s give us time.” Was the words you blessed that opened every door of hope he could find. He would take it, he would absolutely take it. He has to fight for you, he has to prove to you. He would do anything but for now he’ll be on his best patiently waiting for you.

Both of you sat comfortably without speaking, only the faint background beeps of the hospital monitor making up for the silence, while passing small glances. For once both of you felt a missing warmth you didn’t realize you needed. Sharing empanadas with each other, just maybe it will be alright…

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The end!!! Thank you so so much for your time in reading my story. i really really was so happy with all the comments and feedback on pt 1 it really meant a lot!!!

i hope this was ok ~ i apologize for how long it was i was thinking of doing another part but just wanted to finish this up. I was in such a conflict how to end this. i hope it wasn’t too cliche or anything i’m just a sucker for very wanty needy dramatic stories. It’s a hopeful ending tho~ i couldn’t pick with just happy or sad.

So many of you had tons of amazing suggestions which I appreciated so much. I was such a mess trying to figure it all out. Many of you wanted to see Y/N move on with another person but I ended up going this route. I used Peter Parker as an obv character in y/n’s universe but it’s not tied to any specific one and you guy can think of him more to your liking if you want to!

If any of you would like a small drabble or imagine of another route of this story or just anything angsty/possessive and rarwrarwbarkbark miguel. I’d be glad to help lol!! My request box is wide open~ i had so much fun writing this!

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