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finniusastraeus · 3 months

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This chart doesnt give you precise amounts and some numbers are innacurate so let me clear up here

30kcals per plum

78 per one 2-3'' apple(small), 116 per one 3'' apple (large)

45 per cup of chopped up watermelon

40 in 10 MEDIUM sized strawberries

1 kcal in 1 raspberry. So 10=10

In 10 red cherries there are 45 kcals

17 in 1 apricot

119 for a whole papaya so 59 for half

60 in a cup of cut cantaloupe

50 per 1 orange,

201 in a whole mango, 100 in a cup of cubed mango

37 per 1 tangerine

50 in 1 medium peach

105 in a 7'' banana, 70 if it's less than 6'' long

82 in a cup of pineapple cubes, 452 in whole thing (ik no ones eating a whole pineapple but yk)

20 in 5 olives

64 in a cup of cubes honeydew, 360 for whole thing

33 in 1 large cucumber, 10 in a mini, 8 in a cup of slices

42 in 1 kiwi

100 in a medium pear

240 in 1 avocado

82 in a cup of blueberries, 1 per blueberry

62 per cup of grapes, 2 per small grape

62 per cup of blackberries, 2 per small blackberry

EXTRA

Breakfast tips I learned at the hospital

One english muffin is 130 but if you cut it so you're only eating the edges it will look like youre eating the whole thing but only be getting a 3rd or about 45kcals!! and 1 teaspoon of margarine will cover both of those "halves" and there's 35 kcals in that. so 80 that looks like 160.

A cup of dry plain cheerios is also 80

78 in one large egg BUT throw out the yolk and only have the white. It looks like a full over easy egg but the white is only 17 kcals. Trust me on this one, have it for every meal you can get away with.

Fruit salad

10 raspberries=10kcal

half a small banana, thinly sliced=35kcal

5 thinly sliced strawberries=20kcal

15 blueberries=15kcal

2 tsp sugar free table syrup=0kcal LITERALLY BEST THING EVER

total 80 kcal and the syrup makes it the best breakfast in the world while adding no calories but it makes you feel like youre eating pancakes and keeps you full.

Frozen waffle/pancake, 1=95kcals

Lunch

Use the english muffin excuse to make a sandwhich with just lettuce in it and whatever veggies you like.

what I do is 1 english muffin cut to look like halves but its a 3rd = 45kcal

1/4 cup lettuce=1-2kcal

1 slice of tomato=3

if you want more you can have 30kcal of margarine (1 tsp) on the toasted muffin and half a cheese slice which is 56kcal. so i dont reccomend it.

plus 1 egg white if you want=17

or fake balogny (im a strict vegetarian of 8 years) for 20kcal and like 5g of protien

Supper

One pack of mr noodles has 190kcal. never eat more than half

always make a salad if you can. most can be made under 20kcals and actually taste amazing but dont add dressing they're really high cal.

RICE CAKE PIZZA

this is made to look like you're eating a lot

2 plain rice cakes=70

or one tomato basil=60

2 tbsp grated cheese=70

or 1 tbsp herbed goat cheese=35

slice some mini tomatos and mushrooms/peppers, onions, ect=5kcal

total 100-145 and it tastes amazing

this one would be hard to hide bc the brand name is literally skinny noodles but buy some skinny noodles (9 kcal per serving!! vegan and gluten free) and put them in a box or something. my family puts our noodles in long containers so it wouldnt be noticed and the package could be thrown away

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fishthegenderwitch-lurking · 1 year

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My personal Meal Plan

I have a box.

In this box are some cards with letters on them, to sort recipes.

It used to have a whole bunch of recipes in it (I looked up this box online) from the 1960s LIFE magazine. It doesn’t have many in there, but the ones in there, I can and will eat what they make.

In the process of trying to eat food that will help me live my happiest, healthiest life, and less cluttered with 25 cookbooks, I’m going through said cookbooks to find easy, delicious meals to cook myself.

(There are so many)

That way I can get rid of a bunch of cookbooks I own and have more room for tiny creechurs.

So the plan has been to make myself 3 weeks of meals: 21 of each meal, breakfast, lunch and dinner, plus snacks. Now that I think about it, that’s way too many of each, and I think I’ll maybe pick 9-15 of each, and have them a couple days in a row. That’s more realistic.

The 3 week plan means I can cycle through each week of meals and then start over again at the beginning of it. I have one day a week to try a new recipe, and if I like it, cycle it into the plan if I want to.

This avoids boring repetition, invites experimenting without being overwhelmed, and gives me a consistent grocery list, which, with food prices going up so much, will be easier to stick to.

I have food sensitivities, from having ADHD and autism, as well as allergies, so the first step in this whole process is making a list of food I Can and Will Eat. Next is to find recipes that don’t take a lot of activity to create, or can be cooked in large batches and frozen in portions to heat up.

So far, I have a list of the food I like to eat, that I CAN eat (and can afford). I have easy breakfasts, and slightly more complicated (bowl of granola vs pancakes or eggs with onions).

Here’s what I have as of right now. BREAKFAST

Week 1:

Granola bowl with fruit compote (compote made with OJ to reduce sugar content) (3 days)

2 scrambled eggs with salsa on toast (3 days)

Pancakes with fruit compote (Mon)

Week 2:

Overnight oats with nondairy yogurt and grapes (3 days)

3 steamed eggs with spinach or broccoli, nutritional yeast (3 days)

Orange French toast (Mon)

Week 3:

½ avocado mashed with garlic and lemon juice on toast (3 days)

Pizza muffins (English muffins with marinara sauce, nondairy cheese, sausage) (3 days)

3 Breakfast cookies (granola, eggs, fruit, all that jazz) and honey citron or chrysanthemum tea (Mon)

LUNCH (This is the hardest meal for me to eat; I generally graze if I’m home, and forget to eat anything if I’m not)

Week 1:

Rice with taco sauce and salad greens (2 days)

Sliced peppers, hummus, and marinated mushrooms (2 days)

Banana and peanut butter sandwich with apple (2 days)

Week 2:

Hummus on toast with an apple (2 days)

Frittata cups with veggies (2 days)

Purèed vegetable soup and crackers (2 days)

Week 3:

Clear broth soup with a bagel (2 days)

Tuna, onion and tomato with greens and Cilantro Lime mayo (2 days)

Arugula cucumber salad with Lemon dressing (2 days)

DINNER (Sheetpan meals are literally single pan meals that are just “put it all in a pan, cook, eat”)

Week 1:

Sheetpan meal – Garlic Lime Salmon (has peppers and onions) (2 days)

Steamed Rice with Thai veggies and sesame tofu (2 days)

Sheetpan Meal – Pesto Chicken (has mushrooms, tomatoes, zucchini, broccoli) (2 days)

Mondays are for experiments and leftovers

Week 2:

Sheetpan meal – Steak and potatoes (2 days)

Steamed Rice with Thai veggies and salsa (2 days)

Sheetpan meal – Sesame Chicken (has broccoli, peppers, cauli, sweet potato) (2 days)

Mondays are for experiments and leftovers

Week 3:

Sheetpan meal – Cashew/Nut Chicken (has peppers and onions) (2 days)

Steamed Rice with Thai veggies and Dal (2 days)

Sheetpan meal - Ranch Pork Chops and potatoes with Brussels sprouts (2 days)

Mondays are for experiments and leftovers

I have a small list of recipes that I’d like to try on Mondays, which is my first day off in my workweek. Snacks are the next to research, because if I’m out of the house I forget to eat, unless I have something delicious in my backpack. Having an alarm go off with something fun to remind me to eat is something I’m working on too. I don’t always have the energy to do these things - prep food, clean the kitchen, remember to eat, set alarms – but when I get it ready I’m hopeful I can have that energy in the future. These recipes might seem daunting to some, but for nearly three years I’ve been eating either fast food, or heat&eat rice from Dollarama plus chips, ramen, and coffee, and I feel like absolute garbage. I have started taking vitamins to get some strength and energy back, knowing I eat very poorly, which I believe is what’s helped me make this tonight. (I wrote most of these meals just for this post, so there are SOME cylinders firing up there in the ol’ noodlenoggin).

I’m a trained cook, and cooking for one has been hard, but I think I can manage these. I seriously miss cooking, and I need way more variety and vegetation in my diet. Ima get sick if I don’t.

If there are any recipes you guys want to try out, let me know and I’ll share them. :)

#meal prep #mental health #long post #my plan #hope it helps someone else #adhd #autism #food #meals #meal plan #easy #80HD #more like 4kHD

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1010ll · 3 years

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do you have any new recipes that you've learned recently? i remember you wrote something a while ago about carbonara and i tried it out for myself it was really fun!!

i love this 😭 im gonna write way too much idec! something that has changed since that post: my kitchen is worse. i have a horrible combi oven which has resulted in me accidentally eating raw chicken, because it had been in there for more than 2 hours at supposedly 230 °C and i was really hungry and thought it HAD to be done by then. also i have less time and less money lol. it has made me a bit sad, and less motivated to cook nice things but i also love food! which means these tips/recipes are gonna reflect that and might seem a bit dull but probably also relatable for a lot of people. i’ve definitely made spaghetti carbonara a bit too much because it’s simple and require few ingredients! will still vouch for that one tip about substituting the bacon with roasted veggies and other types of meat.

last week i made risotto for the very first time, i think? which means i might be assuming a bit too much, but i think it’s a great dish that you can almost make with whatever you have in your fridge. i made it with roasted beetroot(needs A LOT of time to soften, lesson learned), carrots and parsley root or parsnip(idk the difference), dried rosemary and thyme, garlic and onion. i had some leftover sushi rice, which is great for risotto apparently(love versatile ingredients), roasted them in some oil and then added white wine and chicken stock and actually added a leftover parmesan rind i had in the fridge to give the ‘stock’ some flavour, a bit of nutmeg and then in the end some shredded gouda lol… it was surprisingly delicious and i didn’t even really care to cook the rice perfectly. it also tasted delicious 3 days later, which was a nice surprise. i bet there are tons of risotto recipes online, but as long as you have rice, some kind of flavoured water, i guess you could kind of add whatever you want of veggies and top with whatever herb you have around.

another type of porridge i consume a lot these days is hot oat porridge, which i’ve eaten since i was little and it was the first ‘dish’ i learnt to make myself and it’s cheap. some people really dislike the consistency and look but i don’t. it’s also very easy to customise. i put in whatever nuts and seeds(which are often cheaper than nuts) i have around: flaxseed, sesame seeds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, chopped almonds and sometimes a dollop of peanut butter. i let them simmer along with the oats. i like adding those elements because it gives it some texture and it keeps me more full throughout the day. it’s very important to me because i hate spending money i don’t have on fast-food when i’m not home and i hate being hungry. dried raisins, cranberries for a bit of sweetness and if i’m treating myself i’ll add some fresh apples cut into small pieces or some homemade berry compote(i use frozen) or brown sugar. if i had more money i’d use maple syrup but i don’t at the moment. i also add a bit of cinnamon and cardamom, dried ginger etc, whatever you feel like. some people also add milk afterwards but i’d rather spend my milk on my coffee.

a small tip: making chili flake / garlic oil. it’s really delicious, you could put it straight on pasta with some parmesan and pepper and it would be a filling meal. either chop the garlic really fine, grate it, microplane it, smash it to pieces. heat some olive oil until it’s quite hot, then remove from heat and add the chili flakes and garlic. if the oil isn’t hot enough you can just put the pan or pot back on the heat but be careful you don’t burn the chili flakes or garlic, as it will make it bitter. the longer it will toast, the less pronounced the raw garlic flavour will be, so when it smells toasted enough for your taste, take it off. i store it in a tiny glass jar and add it in stews, sauces, toasts, pizza, sandwiches etc. the flavour is very strong imo and everything it touches will smell like it. something to drink: i like strong foods and i like sour foods, which is why i like lemon/ginger based drinks. to make it even more winter friendly and easy to make, i like to grate unpeeled ginger(i hate slices of ginger, they do nothing for me and seems like a waste of ginger), lemon zest, lemon juice and mix it or blend it with some water/apple juice and honey and strain it afterwards. if you have a really nice blender you can just add all of it together with some ice. i’m basically making a large amount of ginger shot mixture. then when i feel like it, i can take some of the mixture and either drink it as it is, add more apple juice if i need a refreshing beverage or add hot water and more honey for when im cold. you could also add turmeric, chili, use less sweetener and other sorts of healthy stuff but i honestly do it for the taste so i don’t care about that that much.

something sweet: i posted earlier about cakes and someone mentioned swedish kladdkaka, which is a super delicious, cheap, brownie-like chocolate cake that is easily customized and hard to fuck up which is why i’ve made it since i was very young and is a go-to and i didn’t even know it was a swedish thing. if you like airy, light cakes this is not for your. this is sticky, sweet and almost like confection. you can add nuts, swirls of peanutbutter, tahini, actual pieces of chocolate, replace the white sugar with brown sugar, the butter with oil(you can be fancy and use a bit of olive oil) or use a mixture, brown the butter, you name it. the recipe i use is this: melt 100 g butter and let cool. mix 2 eggs + 3 dl sugar in a bowl until fluffy in one bowl. mix 1.5 dl flour, 4 tbs cocoa, 1 pinch of salt in another. mix the dry with the wet mixture and add the cooled, melted butter. this is the point where you’d add chopped nuts, chocolate etc. pour the batter into a cake tin lined with parchment (i use one that is 16 cm in diameters i think). bake the cake for around 30 mins at 150°C - 175°C degrees. check on the cake using a cake tester or a a knife. if the knife is clean after … stabbing it, it’s done! the cake will change it’s texture after cooling. this is a cheap cake, and if you like cake dough you might want to give it less time in the oven for a more fudgey texture. make it your own! there are no rules. last time i made this, i left it in for too long in my opinion but it was still delicious. also i literally have a shit oven with a round oven rack that goes in circles no matter what due to the microwave function, and the only ‘mixing’ equipment i have is a whisk and a spatula. no need for kitchen aids or even electrical hand mixers.

something else i’ve been eating a lot for lunch is simple open faced sandwiches, and something that can really elevate those is: making your own mayonnaise(and toasting the bread). it can be challenging, but it’s really worth it imo and i can’t remember the last time i bought it in a store. i have a small plastic bowl, whisk and 1 egg yolk. something i can really recommend is buying pour snouts for bottles. i transfer my oils from their plastic bottles to smaller, old soda bottles because im cheesy like that and it’s really handy especially when making mayo. constantly whisking the egg yolk by hand and then adding the NEUTRAL oil ever so slowly. don’t be fancy and use cold pressed stuff or extra virgin olive oil because it will taste weird. i only ever fail when i try to use immersion blenders for some weird reason but i find it rewarding to do by hand anyways and i think it might be easier to make smaller portions that way. mayo needs acid and you can get it by adding regular vinegar, apple cider vinegar, balsamic vinegar, lemon juice, lime juice, pickle juice, citric acid dissolved in water etc. it’s really easy to customise! when im making banh mi, i add some sesame oil, soy sauce for saltiness and use lime as the acidic element. for more regular use i add a bit of mustard(also helps with the emulsion), for fries, i like adding some fresh garlic. something as simple as mayo, tomatoes, flaky salt and pepper topped with chives is really nice. i also really like using slices of boiled potatoes or boiled eggs(idk if that’s only a thing where i’m from), mayo and the chili garlic oil. it’s also great for making tuna salad. yesterday i made a really simple sandwich with a very simple tuna salad(tuna, mayo, yoghurt, lemon and pepper), arugula, basil, the garlic/chili oil, cream cheese, pickled jalapeños and onions, green peber, cucumber and tomatoes. you could leave out everything but the tuna salad and it would still be a great little meal.

another nice condiment that beats the supermarket stuff by far is homemade ‘pesto’. when i buy parsley from my local grocery store, it’s a gigantic amount that i in no way can consume in a week. first of all when buying fresh herbs i really recommend washing them, wrapping them in a damp towel and keeping them in a closed container. it will prolong their lifetime from lasting a day to a week(change the towel if it seems too wet). i once had some cilantro in my fridge for several weeks and still be fresh. anyways, when i buy that much parsley, i like to remove the tougher parts of the stem(which i use in stews/sauces! chop it up and sautee it along with garlic and onion), add literally just olive oil, water, pepper, garlic, and a bit of acid and then blend away! it keeps for a long time in the fridge and is also delicious beneath tomatoes/potatoes/cheese on open-faced sandwiches. if you want to be fancy you can of course add some type of hard cheese, nuts, seeds, dried tomatoes, whatever.

i know this is the longest text post ever, but as a last reminder, i really recommend watching pasta grannies on youtube. really simple recipes with focus on few, good ingredients that just takes some time and love.

#sorry about the spelling mistakes and everything #it's not my first language but it probably wouldn't be much better if it were #food

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eddiegirls · 4 years

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do you have some ~easy recipes to make? i want to learn how to cook but i always find myself too tired to make anything when i get home from work /:

hello my friend! so what i find the easiest to throw together is a stir fry bc you can really use any protein and veggies, and it’s usually done in the time it takes to cook the rice.

here’s my stir fry ~formula:

1. start the rice first, bc it takes longest. i use sticky/sushi rice, but anything will work, and you can also do quinoa/another grain. here’s a rice cooking guide!

2. if you’re using tofu (which i usually do), press it right away to drain the water. i use extra firm tofu, and i wrap it in many paper towels, then i putting a cutting board with a heavy pan/book/whatever i can find on top. extra firm usually only needs 15 mins to press, but it won’t hurt to leave it until you’re ready to cook. you can use chicken/fish/shrimp/beef/pork/etc, whichever’s easiest.

3. cut your vegetables. you can literally use anything! i put garlic in everything, but everything else varies. some ideas: onions or green onions, broccoli, green beans, asparagus, bell peppers, carrots, bok choy, snap peas/snow peas, baby corn, water chestnuts (they come canned!), mushrooms, etc. frozen veggies or the pre-cut packs in the produce section are a good idea if you don’t want to chop or don’t have time.

4. cook your protein. for tofu, i usually cut it into cubes and coat them in some flour seasoned with whatever spices i feel like (mine is usually salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, cayenne, and smoked paprika). then i fry it in some vegetable oil. it usually takes like...5 mins on each side, but i generally get lazy and don’t cook every side of every cube lol. you can use pretty much any protein and there’s youtube tutorials for the best way to pan fry all of them. you can also buy a rotisserie chicken from the deli and shred it, or frozen pre-cooked meats, which’ll both save a lot of time.

5. while the tofu/whatever’s cooking, make a sauce. mine is usually a random, unmeasured combination of: soy sauce, honey, some kind of chili sauce (sambal is my fave), garlic powder, rice vinegar, and sesame oil. you can 100% buy a premade stir fry sauce to make your life easier (kikkoman makes good ones, they’re usually in the asian foods section). if you wanna make your own, just start with like...1/3-1/2 cup of soy sauce and add stuff until it tastes good. it’s honestly very hard to mess up.

6. remove protein from pan and cook veggies. as a general rule, hard vegetables take longest. put stuff like broccoli and asparagus in first, then onions, then softer things like bok choy. if you can’t tell if something’s done cooking, stick a fork in and feel how soft it is. if you still can’t tell, taste it. if you’re using frozen, follow instructions on the package. put the garlic in LAST or else it’ll most definitely burn and you’ll be sad.

7. put protein back in w the veggies and pour in the sauce. cook it for a few mins to thicken it up. if you want, you can combine a tablespoon of corn starch and a tablespoon of cold water to help it thicken, but i wouldn’t recommend that if you’re gonna eat it again the next day, bc the corn starch makes it kinda gummy later on.

8. serve over rice. i sometimes add a fried egg on top!

that was longer than i intended.........and i am not done

here’s some places i usually find easy recipes:

my absolute queen budget bytes

honestly...buzzfeed tasty has good & quick one pot recipes

binging with babish’s basics series is very good for learning how to cook

i don’t really like to give conde nast my money, especially bon appetit, but i use an ad blocker to go on their basically site. every recipe is 10 ingredients or less!

pro home cooks, which used to be called brothers green - he makes, like, everything, but a lot of his vids focus on cheap and easy meals. (i haven’t watched any of his meal prep vids but i bet they’re good)

if you have a day, or even a few hours, every week that you can set aside, you might wanna look into meal prep. you don’t even have to prep entire meals; just pre-cutting all your veggies and portioning them into containers makes cooking after work/school feel so much easier.

here are some meal prepping youtubers:

mind over munch - i s2g this woman is like the queen of meal prepping. she’s also like way too perky but it’s fine bc her vids are VERY helpful even if you don’t wanna make the exact meals she makes

goodful’s professional meal prepper series - she gets paid to go to ppl’s homes and meal prep for them, and she shares a lot of easy recipes that are good for prepping and also just general tips for the best ways to cook and store stuff!

and finally here’s some easy stuff i make when i’m lazy:

i boil water for pasta, i chop up broccoli into tiny little pieces and throw it in the boiling water with the pasta when there’s like 4 mins left. i drain it, put it back in the pan, and add butter, italian cheese(s), garlic powder or a garlic herb seasoning blend, salt, and pepper. it’s so good.

premade gnocchi with jarred sauce or storebought pesto, served w whatever vegetable will take the least time to cook (i had this today with asparagus lol)

canned salmon burgers!

tuna & mayo mixed w rice, top w eggs and nori if i have it (thank u @oddesteyecircle)

smashed chickpea salad - i take a can of chickpeas and smash em w a potato masher, then i add mayo, dijon mustard, lemon juice to taste, and whatever spices i feel like (usually salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, cumin, cayenne, paprika, turmeric bc i like the color it adds lol). serve on toasted bread w/ whatever you like on sandwiches (i do tomatoes, hima usually does cucumber slices and spinach)

this doesn’t count as cooking really but the chipotle black bean burgers from don lee farms (we get them at costco) are incredible. i usually make em w frozen fries and microwave steamed broccoli (if u haven’t caught on i love broccoli)

bfast for dinner (pancakes from a box, scrambled eggs, bacon/sausage, maybe some potatoes)

aaaand i think that’s all i have to say! when in doubt, u can always ALWAYS find a recipe on youtube for literally anything. i hope this was helpful!!!!!!!

#this is so fuckign long LOL I DID NOT PLAN THIS #food #ask #Anonymous

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pyrogina · 5 years

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my keto experience

Intro/TL:DR

As a preface I can report that I lost 17lbs in 30 days while strictly adhering to a keto diet. I'm a 34 year old canadian woman who works from home as an artist and a huge helping factor for me was the freedom to stay home on the bad days and the ability to purchase fresh meats and vegetables on a weekly basis. This is a really tough diet but if you put the right pieces in place, it might work for you too. Additionally, I am NOT a dietitian/nutritionist in any way, shape, or form. Everything posted here is from my own experience and a modicum of research on the net. Please double-check my facts before you begin this diet for yourself.

Is keto for you?

The first and hardest question to ask yourself about a ketosis diet is, Can I Endure this? And you should not feel any guilt if the answer to that question is no, because this is a very invasive and aggressive diet that will cause you physical pain even if just for a brief amount of time. Similar to vegetarianism, or is extreme cousin, veganism, a keto diet involves cutting out large swaths of the food pyramid to facilitate this diet. This does not mean going hungry, the foods that are removed will be replaced with other foods, only without any (or minimal) artificial or natural sugars. Sugar is just a chemical, which doesn't sound like a huge sacrifice, right? Most adults don't bother adding sugar to anything other than tea or coffee, but sugar is much more deeply rooted in our lives than you may realize.

Carbohydrates can be found in virtually every type of ready-to-serve foods: breads, wraps, pastas, fried snacks, hors d'oeuvre (these are examples of things I ate before this diet). All of these delicious and very satisfying foods have a fiber content and sugar content. You're still allowed to consume these, and I encourage you do so, but make sure to monitor the grams of total carbohydrates you consume that day. During this diet you will only be allowed to consume 20 grams (to 50 grams, depending on your body and personal needs) a day. remember this. Those 20 grams of carbs maybe the difference between you having a normal day and one of the worst days of your life.

Before I chose to begin a keto diet, I had been exercising casually (as before I was sedentary, more details on this later) and consuming about half as many carbohydrates as I had normally done in my life before. During the two years I was living this way, I was able to lose approximately 20lbs (from about 230 to 210). If you're starting your diet or lifestyle change from scratch, maybe try starting here first. Its significantly slower (10lbs in nearly a year), but it will not cause any pain or significant inconvenience.

What’s the big deal?/What to eat?

Sugar is a chemical, and more than that, its a drug that your body has been dependent on since you were a wee baby in your mama’s belly. Sugar makes your brain work and when you mess with your brain’s intake of the all-important-life-sauce it goes into panic mode. In the first 2-3 days (up to 6 if your me!) you will literally, physically go into a state of depression. Many had described it to me as ‘keto flu’ but as a survivor of 2009s Swine flu, I can most assuredly tell you that keto is much, MUCH worse.

First, my appetite became very finicky (and i'm already a very picky eater). I had no desire to eat the genuinely tasty keto meals that my boyfriend had lovingly prepared. I didn't want to draw, and I wasn't even in the mood to play easy video games. All I felt like doing was crying or sleeping (which I did, for 9 hours in the middle of my 3rd day). This is why, whenever I speak to someone who’s even moderately interested in this diet to BOOK TIME OFF YOUR JOB!!! It’s inconceivable to me to be forced to face other human beings in this state of physical distress. You need to pamper yourself while in this state in order to endure it and ensure your success.

There was one more bump in the road around the one-week point but i'm fairly certain it came down to a combination of dehydration and moodiness (period) so perhaps that was an outlier. Either way, water is the key when you start feeling shitty. Get yourself a nice BPA-free water bottle that you're comfortable carrying around and keeping full of fresh water. Once your body is in ketosis (you can check using those little paper sticks you pee on from the drug store, wash your hands!) you will get tired and moody the very instant you become hungry at mealtimes. Sometimes you don't even feel the familiar hunger pangs from your previous diet and mistake it for just a general bad mood. Always have a sip of water, babes; that’s your brain telling you to hydrate.

Alternatively, after eating a keto meal you still may feel hungry or unsatisfied, even sad (longing for your favourite dessert). This is where those 20g of carbs come in pretty clutch. Finding your perfect portion of reward may be impossibly difficult, I can only tell you what made me feel better when I got the cravings. Blueberries are quite sweet, they have a lot of natural sugar, but a handful of them sufficed as an incredibly sweet treat (some keto dieters have proclaimed that ‘regular things taste much sweeter than before’, I didn't experience this). Minigo/iogo yoghurt cups are fatty and sweet and work as a decent replacement to ice cream (count the carbs!). On extra tough mornings (in addition to bacon and eggs! Totally keto!) we would split a cavendish oven-fried hashbrown (about 15g; 7.5g split between my partner and I).

There are a surprising amount of natural foods that are not keto, but in careful proportions, can be incorporated into a daily keto diet. Most every fruit (that I checked) is very sugary but can make for a nice dessert. Certain vegetables like carrots or potato have too many carbs to be anything more than a boost when you feel shitty. Red onions have a very small amount of carbs (sugar and fibre work together to your benefit!) and server to replace pasta as a side to a nice steak dinner.

On that note, you need fibre to make your BMs move. Cutting carbs from your life means your number 2’s go bunny mode…. Take a sugar-free metamucil on any day where you have more meat during a meal than other types of food, or the toilet will be a nightmare.

Meals:

Cutting away pastas, breads, and other sides seems like an insane task but with some discipline and creativity, it's quite manageable. Breakfast didn't change much: eggs any way (sunny side for me, cheddar omelette for my BF) with bacon or sausage. Lunch was some combination of chicken breast and various salads (so many salad dressings are low or no carb! Read the back!). On steak night, we replace noodles with sauteed red onions fried and seasoning. Snacktime was usually pre-sliced cheddar cheese (go NUTS that shit is A-OK!), unsalted peanuts (other nuts have marginally more carbs, almonds and sunflower are moderate, check what works for you), or small amounts of beef jerky. Accompany those snacks with a big drink of water, or if you've had enough of that, certain drinks are acceptable like tea or coffee (with sweetner and high fat milk, skim milk is too sugary), diet sodas, sugarfree drink mix (migo, nestea). Just remember water, water, water.

Is it worth it? Pros/Cons

Cons:

-HURTS LIEK DRUG WITHDRAWL (you're literally coming down from the lifelong chemical addiction of sugar. It hurts like Trainspotting)

-MEAT (you will be consuming a lot of animal product)

-POOP (even when you have your metamucil, the toilet can take some time)

-SWEETS (the cravings for your favourite yumyums will almost never stop, it takes monk-like discipline)

-BORING (you can't go out and enjoy meals/drinks with friends and family without them or the restaurant making odd or even crappy exceptions. Keto menu options are slowly becoming popular though)

-TIRED (the first week or two will be very tedious and you won’t have any energy, even your favourite hobbies may seen unfulfilling for a time)

-ALCOHOL (basically none, unless you like vodka and sugarfree mix, you'll get drunk a lot quicker and end up feeling shittier without carbs in your body to process the liquor)

Pros:

-INSTANT RESULTS (in my first week i lost nearly 10lbs, and then two for every subsequent week. note that, just like any diet, there will be bounce-back)

-APPETITE LOSS (once you get into the swing of this, after the 2 week mark, you’ll find you no longer are pained when your hungry and the bigger cravings subside)

-BUDGET (this is a bit of an odd one and may not necessarily reflect your cost benefits. Before engaging in this diet, my BF and I discovered we were spending too much money on restaurants and leaving the food in the fridge to waste. This was primarily because we were too lazy to cook. Getting off our asses and cooking 6 days of the week made an immediate impact on this for us. If you already do that, this won't apply. Concurrently, we spent more money at the grocery store ensuring we always had fresh meat and vegetables; this did net us positive)

-REWARDING MEALS (having to stop and think about what it takes to make a tasty and satisfying meal has forced us to look at things in a different way. Making yourself and your partner a healthy, supremely tasty meal gets those endorphins peaking)

-EXERCISE (Unnecessary! Your choice! Just note that building muscle increases your weight as muscle weights more than fat)

My fave meals:

-Coffee (reluctantly replacing 1tsp of sugar with a fairy-dust sprinkling of sweetner cos i HATE sweetner, its 20-30x stronger than sugar so you only need 1/20th as much)

-Eggs and bacon!!! (sausage sometimes too)

-Garlic grilled chicken with spinach salad (onions, sliced almonds, feta, dressing)

-Steak and red onions (meat rare and onions grilled with seasoning)

-Spicy ground pork tacos (replace the taco/burrito with large boston lettuce leaves, shredded cheddar, green onions, diced tomato, dab of ranch sauce)

-Baked chicken breast stuffed with ricotta and spinach, topped with parmesan

-Slow-cooked pulled pork slathered with sharp cheddar (just eat with a fork!)

-Baked shrimp with garlic butter and parmesan

-Jalapenos stuffed with ricotta, cream cheese and cheddar, then wrapped in a strip of bacon (great late-night snack)

-Even changing the texture of a cheese can change the taste of the meal. Shredded cheddar adds a salty bite to a lettuce wrap, grated parmesan can trick a baked chicken breast into thinking its breaded. creamy cheeses can replace other baking sauces entirely.

-Diet pops (make sure its 0 sugar!), and tea/coffees with sweetner are fine, they do contain a lot of sodium though, make sure to drink 1-for-1 with water (meaning: every diet coke or tea you have, accompany it with the same amount of plain water so your body can process it and pee it out).

Variations/Control:

Vitamins: It should be noted that I take a daily multivitamin (C3+D) as I generally don't get enough sun or fruits. I highly recommend you take these just in general. They help keep skin soft and blemish free (I initially began taking these because of acne on upper arms and it cleared within days).

Activity: As briefly mentioned earlier, I began shifting from sedentary (not moving much, sitting for hours a day) to a more active lifestyle about 2-3 years ago. This entailed a personal regimen of making an attempt at physical activity approximately half the days of the month (period week was generally excluded). Every other day I would attempt one of the following: walking at least 2km, 15-20m of floor exercises (‘lady push-ups’, sit-ups), 15-20m of time on the indoor bike, or an hour of house related chores (lifting, laundry, cleaning, anything that involves getting sweaty). In addition to these, yoga is peppered into my lifestyle as frequently as possibly, particularly in the morning before breakfast. On days where i'm unable to exercise, I at least attempt the basic yoga poses to stave off my (no-longer chronic) back pain.

#personal #diet #keto diet #ketosis #okay to reblog #no one proofread this for me...#ill try to keep edits to a minimum

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sandwichbully · 5 years

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Sammy’s Avenue Eatery, 23 November 2018

“When people are hungry, you feed ‘em.”

OK, so about three years ago, I was working at UCare - “UCare, health care that starts with denying you your oxygen!” - and it was a slow afternoon one afternoon. Most afternoons were slow and the mail room was overstaffed for what we needed, so I logged a lot of time on Facebook and I saw this joint, Sammy’s Avenue Eatery, and I thought their sandwiches looked pretty good, so I made it a point to go there. ... aaannnddd I never did. I was broke as shit at the time, working fourteen hours a day six days a week between two jobs (and still being broke all the time) and feeling like shit because I was a terrible letdown to my then-girlfriend (the one from this episode) because I was always tired and just wanted a goddamned beer and two cigarettes. Eventually things improved but not by much and yadda yadda yadda, a whole bunch of shit happens, and going up to Sammy’s Avenue Eatery has been low priority. But I never forgot it. It kind of even nagged at me. And today, with it being almost fifty degrees for what is surely the last time this year if it isn’t the next to last time this year, I made it a point to go to what is likely going to be the final Sandwich Bully episode for 2018 - unless y’all want to come pick me up in your petite bourgeoisie automobile with “the heat” on in December and January. So I rolled up on the corner of Emerson and Broadway and walked in and looked over the menu and waited for the nice lady to finish making a chai latte for this other lady and I asked her which she preferred, the Hot Roasted Chicken or the Turkey Bacon Club. She said honestly that she preferred the chicken but they were out of that so turkey and bacon (I had to specify because I’ve had exactly one experience with turkey bacon and that shit is fucking gross and it’s so gross that I’m compelled to put up a picture of my first ex with a caption mocking her voice in which she chides me for having high blood pressure but that is seriously some SD&A shit and - Hm? Oh, Sound Design and Assembly. That was my old record review blog but I didn’t review records so much as I bitched about pop culture and waxed poetic on having picked up nookie the night before.)

Wait. Where are we?

OK, let’s start that over. She said honestly that she preferred the chicken but they were out of that so turkey and bacon (I had to specify because I’ve had exactly one experience with turkey bacon and that shit is fucking gross) it was and I grabbed a cranberry ginger ale and I found myself engaged in a conversation with her. Lot of personal stuff that isn’t my business to put up here but I guess maybe I can talk about the political side of it and that part was refreshing because nobody was bringing out words with “-ism”s on the end, we were just on the same wavelength, talking about how Minneapolis government is mishandling or outright ignoring a bunch of problems and how there are easy - very easy solutions to them. The homeless encampment whom the city couldn’t decide to house in either a warehouse or a vacant fucking lot? Well, hell, how many boarded up houses are there in north Minneapolis? I figured put the homeless at least in the warehouse out of the elements. The woman I was talking to told me they had plenty of empty houses in this neighborhood. A solution I never thought of. And even thinking about it now, I realize that there’s a lot of red tape and the banks own those empty houses but why does the bank own an empty house? Why is it held by a private entity and not by the state? What are the escheat and adverse possession laws in Minnesota? (And that’s over thinking it but that’s because capitalism doesn’t provide for simple solutions without the transfer of liquid assets.)

And enough of that. Anyway, at one point, this dude comes in and says he doesn’t have time to stop in and eat at the moment but he was just wondering what the soup of the day was for when he came back later and the woman said it was alright if he didn’t have time to eat, she’d fix him a “little” to-go cup (it was more like an eight ounce cup and I don’t know how metric people measure soup; by volume - 237mL - or by mass - 227g) and she handed it to him and told him to have a good day and he said thank you and he walked out the door and she stared out the window and she said, “When people are hungry, you feed ‘em.” No conditions, no clauses, just simple straight to the point action and solution. And she told me about how she wanted to start a homeless shelter, not like the ones downtown where you have to "tell ‘em everything about your life just to get in the door”, she wanted to start one where if you were tired, you could sleep, and if you got caught fucking up, you got kicked out. Simple as that. And my brain goes to how dangerous that would be because what about all the rapists and murderers and then my privilege checks itself and I got to remember that homeless folks aren’t homeless because they’re murderers and they do just want a warm place to sleep and a little something to eat. She told me she wanted to open a soup kitchen, too, and told me that one place downtown was in such a great location because it was centralized and somebody could even walk for forty blocks to get there, and they would, too, because, as she put it, “hunger travels”. I know that. I remember the time, it was like ten years ago or so, that I was with Georgie and we were starving and I walked two miles in a snowstorm to the food shelf and I lied on the paperwork and told them our twenty eight year old roommate was our four year old son because I thought I could get us more food that way (and, hey, there were three people in the house). I remember being dismayed at what we got and dutifully trundled it back home. I remember all that. Maybe it was meant to be that I didn’t get to Sammy’s until today to have this conversation. Maybe as a (timely) reminder to be thankful for what I do have, maybe as a reaffirmation of my beliefs, maybe to just talk to somebody over lunch, which I never get to do because I live alone and work alone.

ANYWAY! How was the sandwich!? How was the fucking sandwich, Charlie!? Remember how this blog is called Sandwich Bully? And it’s about sandwiches? And how it’s not a place for you to peddle your bleeding heart commie* beliefs or pontificate on how we need to be good and charitable toward our brothers and sisters!? HOW THIS PLACE IS MEANT FOR SANDWICHES!?!?!? TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING SANDWICH, CHARLIE!!! It was good. As I was grabbing a pop, the woman (I know her name I just don’t know how she spells it) told me that if I wanted to bundle the sandwich and drink into a combo, that she had chips and I told her nah, I had to watch my salt and she said she knew that was right. I watched her slice my tomato right out of a whole fresh tomato which I’ve seen maybe only Trieste do - slice fresh to order. And she asked if I liked onions and I said I did and she asked if I liked pickles and I said I did and then she held the pickle slices over the container and gave them a little wiggle and told me, “Getting the salt off them for you,” which was cool. Aint ever had anybody do that for me before. And then we set to talking while I ate at the counter and you read about all that. Well, let’s start with the size issue. I ordered a half sandwich (around seven dollars) and it was big enough that I feared what I might have gotten if I had gotten a whole one (around eleven dollars). Trust me, I beg of you, please trust me, I am on my knees begging you to trust me: Order the half sandwich. That is the reasonable human serving size. The tomato was crisp (natch) and the pickles and onions added necessary sour and bite. The cheese, I don’t know what it was but it was white and it was creamy and, tag-teamed with the bacon, it kind of overpowered the turkey but the bacon-cheese combo overpowers most things. The mayo on the sandwich was applied to the bread pre-grilling which, a few years ago, I would have said “ew” to but recently I had the revelation that mayo is just eggs and oil (no, not that part) which are both things that are perfectly alright to be applied to direct heat (that part) and I’ve been waiting to try frying my grilled cheese with mayo on the outside but I never buy bread and I never buy mayonnaise - Why buy mayo when you can make aioli? - so I finally got to try this technique at Sammy’s and I have to admit I didn’t notice anything inherently distinguishable about it but, again, bacon-cheese combo. Overpowers everything but... OK, probably the last time we get to do this this year unless somebody wants to drive me somewhere during December and January so we have to make this one good. Let’s see, let’s see, let’s see... [clears throat] But the real blackout drunk correspondent of Armenia Decides, 2018... No no no. [clears throat again] But the real evil twin unplugging the good twin’s life support so she can assume her identity and run off with her husband... No. Come on, man, you got this. You have literally nothing else. OK, I think I got it. But the real guest star in the dangers-of-huffing-gas-as-a-pregnant-teen episode of this highly rated Saturday morning teen show never to be seen again as, metafictionally, her character had been shipped off to an island of misfit one-off characters, each themselves never to be seen again, turned cannibal after the last hunt didn’t yield the boar’s head required to appease the god behind the sun, he who in-turn took his great veil from the white ball in the sky and scorched their crops in anger and now, teen pot dealer and teen wheelchair basketball player and teen army brat and teen with an eating disorder and all the rest, none of whom were ever seen again, are forced to turn on each other for survival, their malevolence a dance for the god behind the sun’s enjoyment, for when enough blood is spilled he veils his white ball and grants them rest from the heat, but now, a new arrival - The Pregnant Teen Gas Huffer... is the house sauce, which I suspect is a honey dijon vinaigrette. It was sweet, a little complex but not so complex that I couldn’t guess what it was while I was eating it. It stood out and balanced the savory fattiness of the bacon-cheese combo. The lettuce? We don’t have to do the lettuce thing, do we?

I mean, it’s probably the last time this year.

Overall, not a bad bike ride, it was a pretty decent sandwich - it was good but I’m not falling over stupid for it. I mean, hey, it filled me up and I ordered the half sandwich. If there was a quarter sandwich option, I’d go for that. It tasted good, too. She asked me how it was and I told her it was wonderful and she said she was glad I liked it and I told her I was glad she made it. I guess that there was a sense of openness, of community to the place, which we’ve been over before: I prefer to go to places that feel worn in and homey. Places like Band Box and Ideal where the proprietors and the patrons are literally neighbors, where people have been going for years, people who are eating there now worked there in high school because their parents knew the manager. Sammy’s has that vibe. It’s kind of like Nye’s. I liked Nye’s (yes, past tense) when you could walk in and say hi to Phil, sit down, and have an ice cold Żywiec and there was a college football game on you could ignore and it was red Corinthian leather booths and tacky martini murals on the walls and mirrors behind the bar to make the liquor selection look more impressive (or whatever the mirrors are back there for) and it was locals in there. Last time I was in Nye’s, there was no Phil, the new guy didn’t know what Żywiec was, the interior designer clearly got all their ideas from IKEA (still love you, IKEA, but you are not meant for a bar), and the only patronage in there were literally tourists asking about the history of the Mississippi River. I can’t fuck with that scene because it doesn’t feel like it’s a part of the community that supported it through the years. Ownership changed and nobody gave a fuck about preserving the community aspect of the place, it’s clearly a cash grab more cynical and distasteful than when they made Game of Death with B-roll of Bruce Lee and two actors who looked nothing like him. Sammy’s, on the other hand, feels like it’s part of its community. Established in Near North, playing a role in Near North, employing Near North, feeding Near North. GO. GIVE. THEM. YOUR. MONEY.

* I was once briefly involved with a Randian Libertarian who called me literally a “bleeding heart commie” because I told her Atlas Shrugged was “right-wing oriented”. Ah, to be young again.

#2018 #near north #club sandwich #turkey bacon club #escheat and adverse possession #community #metric soup

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thedappleddragon · 3 years

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ok time for 2 days worth of journaling

yesterday I discovered that if I take half of a mini bagel (because the store was out of bagel things), put on cream cheese and a slice of salami, you can make a pretty good bagel bite. I talked with my dad for a while about college things when he came home from work and brought groceries. I also made a frozen chicken Laredo pasta thing for dinner and ended up sharing it with my mom. dad and I shared ideas for what to add to it next time to make it better. I started with chopping up spinach, because I know it shrinks a bunch and is easy to hide in stuff. I want to try adding a little salt, maybe some garlic and onion, parmesan cheese, more greens, a bunch of stuff. idk. I like pretending to be a chef. but I talked with my ad about what kind of stuff I'll need for college, and how I'll probably need to buy real clothes and makeup so I dont look like a goblin who’s been existing solely in basketball shorts and pajama pants for the past year in quarantine.that;s why I made that post last night about fun girly sleepover or simple-ass makeup tutorial. I tried washing my face with an Olay soap bar, and it left my skin feeling nice but idk how good/bad it actually is for your face since its meant to be a body bar. I real online that a plain dove bar is actually pretty damn good for your face, but Olay was the only thing I had on hand. whatever. i played a bunch of stardew valley as well

I slept like shit last night, waking up at like 4 am and all mr dreams being shades of muted grey and brown and broken up into blocks, idk. I've been having weird abstract dreams and sleeping like shit for the past couple days. I think that's partially what cause my head to spin all afternoon. whenever I moved my head, it felt like my ghost was lagging behind my body if that makes sense. it sucked but got better when I moved around. I had my dad bring me water and Tylenol and then come back a second time to light my candle because he smelled like cigarettes and left the smell in my room. but I realized it was April fools day when I woke up, and contemplated how I was gonna prank my friends. I didnt come up with anything until my sister sent a picture of a crashed white Volvo, saying she failed her driving test. when my mom showed me I didnt believe her for a second, and folded over laughing when my mom was concerned about if it was real or not. I stole that joke and showed it to my 2 friend groups, with panicked misspelled texts to go with it for *authenticity* lmao. both groups fell for it at first, but band friends taking longer to catch on so I had to tell them it was a prank. my gamer friend in the other chat caught me almost IMMEDIATLY with reverse google image searching. but I laughed my ass off for a while either way. I didnt play any stardew today but I did play a little Webkinz. when my sister came back from her driving test, my dad brought home Dairy Queen blizzards and mentioned getting a nice-is dinner takeout :) unfortunately I waited forever for him to bring home food and it never happened. so my sister and I went through the mcdonalds drive through and got served by this absolutely DELIGHTFUL middle aged man who was very nice and funny and I told him she just got her license today. we went home and ate in my sisters room and watched John mulaney’s new in town. I had never actually watched the full special, but through Tumblr memes and a million animatics, I had pretty much seen everything. I had fun tho. we got regular chicken sandwiches when we porobably should have gotten the deluxe ones with lettuce and tomato and source or just gone to Wendy’s. tbh Wendy’s is SO MUCH FUCNKIN BETTER. and the mcdonalds was more expensive than I thought it would be. whatever. if we had gone to Wendy’s, sure we would have gotten better burgers, but we wouldn't have seen that deightful man. anyway earlier today I gave my cat some catnip and she was really cute about it. do cats drool more when they’re high? cuz damn it sure felt like it when she was mashing her face into my hand. for lunch I made a different pasta thing, this time shrimp lomeign. I added spinach and broccoli, which I'm going to do for now and forever because it SLAPPED but my mom was acting like a child, saying broccoli is gross. she had me make spaghetti and proceeded to eat 3 or 4 bowls. I had a couple and went to my room. I realize that I'm typing all this shit WAYYYYY out of order, sorry to me reading back in the future or anyone who bothers to read these. tbh why would you. I hope people dont have my talk tag blocked (thanks for coming to my ted talk) and instead have 2021 daily blocked if they dont want to see these. I still make funny posts sometimes!! that’s also what I tag my art with!! but neither of those people would be able to read this anyway so I'm just preaching to the choir. anyway you’ll be happy to know that my head is no longer spinning, my teeth are nice and clean, I've got my comfy socks and pajama pants on, and I’m ready for bed. eventually. it’s not even midnight yet lmao. I guess I can mention this morning when my cat yelled at me asking to go outside, but it was literally FREEZING and im 100% sure I saw some snowflakes while I was out there for a couple minutes. she got so cold she climbed up on my lap as I was wrapped in my childhood sleeping bag I found in the laundry room. I breathed warm air on her and sat out there for another minute or so, mostly insulated by the sleeping bag, but carried her inside eventually. I didnt want to have to deal with that shit. tbh even tho I just had mcdonalds and it’s almost midnight and I've already brushed my teeth, I'm still a little bit hungry. but I dont know it’s that’s just because I'm lying down and your body takes a little while to tell you when you’re full, or if it’s because I waited for SO LONG waiting for city barbecue or bento cafe that just a burger and fries wasn't enough to cut it. well I'll just sleep it off anyway. you know what’s really cute? my cat laid on my lap and rested her chin on my hand as I typed :) I love her

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #April 2021 daily #2021 daily #wow new mont new tag #Ii gotta change over my calendar to see what the new baby animal will be #march was a baby seel #June is going to ba a money which I think is very homophobic because I HATE MONKIES>:(

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haidasndwch · 3 years

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Best Burgers in Vancouver

The American

Restaurant Name: The American

Phone Number: (778) 945-6751

Website:

Address: 926 Main St, Vancouver, BC V6A 2W1

Opening Hours: 12:00 PM - 11:00 PM

Dish Type: Bar Food, American

Special Diet:

Price: CA$25 for two people

Delivery: No

Yelp Rating: 3.5

Google Rating: 4.1

Zomato Rating: 3.2

Foursquare Rating: 7

The American is one of the best burger places in Vancouver. You will love the concept of this place where you have a nice coffee shop in the front portion, lunch portion, a bar, and some games, and they also cover all the entertainment bases. Food-wise, they have partnered with Downlow Chicken Shack to serve up a variety of burgers and bar food, which kicks up their bar food game to a whole new level. One of the most recommended burgers to order in this place is The Americana, which is made up of all-beef patty, special sauce, lettuce, cheddar cheese, onions, and pickles locally made bun. It is a delicious and sloppy burger, and why the hell would you ever put it down before finishing it! Perfectly toasted bun, juicy beef patty, and the right amount of dressing! The dressing is their special merch sauce, which is also served with the fries. You can also try their signature burger made with two Rivers dry-aged ground beef and served on a freshly baked Livia Sweets burger bun. One notable thing about this burger place is that you can substitute veggie patty for no additional charge. The staff in this restaurant are all super friendly and welcoming. American is a clean and spacious restaurant with lots of cool illustrations. The decoration is not messy, but there is definitely a lot to see. Lots of vibrant colours, contemporary and cute. There are lots of tables and seats inside the restaurant and a few of them outside. There are also some arcade games and 2 ATMs inside the restaurant, so it is convenient to have cash, but they obviously take cards. Washroom downstairs and “sit down” is the ladies’ restroom and “stand up” is the men’s restroom. Inside, the restaurant is a bit dim, but you will the vibe, and the blue lighting is not tacky but just right. So, if you are looking for a perfect combination of savoury and sweet burgers to enjoy your day, The American will be your destination; you will not be disappointed.

Devil's Elbow Ale and Smoke House

Restaurant Name: Devil's Elbow Ale and Smoke House

Phone Number: (604) 559-0611

Website:

Address: 562 Beatty St, Vancouver, BC V6B 2L3

Opening Hours: 11:30 AM - 12:00 AM (Next day)

Dish Type: American, Bar, Barbecue, Pub, Canadian, Brew Pub

Special Diet: Gluten Free Options

Price: CA$40 for two people

Delivery: No

Yelp Rating: 3.5

Google Rating: 4.3

Zomato Rating: 3.7

Foursquare Rating: 7.8

Devil’s Elbow Ale and Smoke House is one of the places in Vancouver that will be your go-to restaurant as soon as you try their yummy and fabulous burgers. Devil’s Elbow is an awesome Ale & Smokehouse located at 562 Beatty street in Vancouver. Besides their regular menu, they also offer lunch combos to get a burger, side, and a beer for a reasonable price. One of the most recommended burgers to order in this place is the Devil’s Burger, which is made up of in-house ground brisket patty, smoked mayo, tomato, lettuce, creole mustard, beer onion, smoked bacon, smoked cheddar. The burger’s homemade French-style Burger buns with fries are extremely tasty! The sides are Mac & Cheese, baked beans, coleslaw, and salad, and all are great with decent size servings. The burger patties in Devil’s Elbow Ale and Smoke House are thick enough to get a proper medium-rare temp. They make their own buns and use good quality fresh romaine lettuce, ripe tomato slices & sliced onion, unlike some places that only have shredded iceberg, un-ripe tomatoes & diced onion. Their fries are fresh-cut, house-made as well. They have a lunch special (until 2 pm only) in which you get a protein + 2 side dishes. For the parking, you have two options, you can either parallel park on Beatty street OR pay to park in the gigantic Easy Park that is literally located right across the street. Everything in this restaurant is top-notch – from the food’s vibrant flavours to the super helpful and welcoming servers. If you are looking for a cool spot to grab a drink and have a bite to eat in the Stadium District, definitely check out the Devil’s Elbow, the food is excellent, and the drinks are strong! All in all, Great place to meet with friends, coworkers, and new friends. Food is tasty, with unique flavours. Highly recommended.

Cactus Club Cafe Coal Harbour

Restaurant Name: Cactus Club Cafe Coal Harbour

Phone Number: (604) 620-7410

Website:

Address: 1085 Canada Pl, Vancouver, BC V6C 3E2

Opening Hours: 11:30 AM - 10:30 PM

Dish Type: Canadian, American, Bar

Special Diet: Vegetarian Friendly, Vegan Options, Gluten Free Options

Price: CA$70 for two people

Delivery: No

Yelp Rating: 4

Google Rating: 4.4

Zomato Rating: 4

Foursquare Rating: 8.3

If you are a burger fan, here you are; Cactus Club Cafe Coal Harbour is the best. It has a spectacular view from the dining room! This is a must-visit if you have friends from out of town. Everything on the menu is nicely done; service is friendly and polite. There are also options for family-friendly and group seating. It has easy parking and a quick walk to the restaurant. When you walk in, you are greeted by beautiful smiles and warm voices. The ambiance is off the hook, and the design of this location is smart and sleek. One of the most recommended burgers to order in this place is the Feenie Burger, which is made up of smashed certified Angus beef, sauteed mushrooms, aged cheddar, smoked bacon, red relish, mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, and sea salted fries. The seasonings are perfect and complimented with the burger. They keep their menu updated to stay current with whatever new foods are arising while also providing the classics. Their food will be beyond your expectations; it is yummy, mouth-watering, and healthy. An open plan diner lets you see your food being cooked with considering all the sanitizing protocols. The ingredients they use in their dishes are fresh and healthy, and you can eat your meal without any concern. It has a great location with a gorgeous view of the water and is conveniently located right next to the Vancouver convention center and several hotels. This makes it an ideal spot to meet up with friends after a day of lectures or grab a bit of delicious lunch. This location has explicitly great service as it is in a very desirable area with tons of business people. Customers will especially appreciate that the servers are willing to ask the kitchen for adjustments to the menu item as are listed and that the changes are possible and created. This shows that the food is prepared on-site and is excellent news for people with food sensitivities or just different requests. Give it a try!

https://haidasandwich.ca/best-burgers-vancouver/

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yetanotherfreakingfoodblog · 3 years

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pizza opinions, part 2

It’s been something like five months since I last wrote about pizza, and I have been practicing! I have MORE OPINIONS that I’d like to write down for my future self (hey grandchildren! see?! I used to be SO COOL. also, there was a pandemic when I was 31. you probably heard about it already, but I’m probably still not over how shitty it was!!! At least I learned how to make pizza).

Point the first: sauce! It’s easy!! I know it from memory now and I can use whatever tomatoes you want me to! I once made it with SMALL YELLOW TOMATOES from my friend’s backyard. What a delight. I didn’t even peel the small yellow ones! I just cut them in half and chucked them in the saucepan. To recap:

heat some olive oil in a pan

add minced garlic and however much dried oregano feels right

add tomatoes! canned crushed, whole blanched (maybe like 7?), or even just halved cherry tomatoes. whatever!!!! the fresh ones make the sauce turn out sweeter and brighter, and the canned make the sauce turn out richer.

add garlic powder, onion powder, a little sugar, and some salt (I forgot about the salt in my Detroit pizza post).

simmer it until it seems to be a good thickness

blend it in an immersion blender if you want. chunks are also fine. I like to blend it when I use fresh tomatoes and leave it when I use diced.

Hot tip: sometimes I make the pizza sauce ahead. It takes 15-30 minutes to simmer, which is annoying when I'm doing other pizza prep. A person could also buy pizza sauce, and I wouldn't judge them. I just like the flexibility of only keeping plain tamatoes on hand. Plus sometimes I need to use up tomatoes because my roommate likes to order 10 pounds at a time.

Point the second: cheese! I have done a number of cheese experiments. Final verdict: get the whole milk mozzarella, the kind in a brick! Not the kind in any sort of liquid or that is labeled "fresh" at all. It's just too wet! Get the brick, shred it yourself. I think this cheese is better than all of the following: pre-shredded mozzarella from the store (it's usually part skim, and I want the fat in the cheese! it also has stuff added to it so it melts weird), fresh mozzarella (too wet), non-mozzarella. I've added things like goat cheese and parm to the pizza as well but I didn't love using those as the ONLY cheese.

Point the third: toppings. I like spicy italian sausage if I'm having meat and shallots, raw onions, caramelized onions, or thin-sliced bell pepper if I'm not having meat. If it is summer, I also like fresh corn, chili oil, and cilantro (post-bake). If I have basil, I like basil too (pre-bake). For the sausage, I like to remove it from its casing, cook it in the frying pan while gently smashing it into a variety of chunk sizes with a wooden spoon until it's just brown, but not cooked through. It will cook the rest of the way in the oven. (I have also tried cooking it all the way through on the stove, boiling then slicing into coins, and mild sausage, all of which are not as good as gently cooked spicy sausage in my book).

Point the fourth: crust. No crust has come even CLOSE to the "overnight straight" pizza crust recipe from Flour Water Salt Yeast. Just...not even close. The Roberta's pizza from the New York Times turned out fine, but I do not think there are enough instructions in that recipe to make a good pizza. There are perhaps too many instructions for my liking in Flour Water Salt Yeast but it does make a crispy, chewy crust. My main issue is getting it thin enough, but I like a thick crust. To get it thin, I think it needs to sit at room temperature for a little while. I also enjoy the developing tension in the dough ball, which I find kind of hard to describe with words, but I did suddenly "get it" one morning, which was very satisfying. I used the same tension technique on tiny dough balls to make buttery dinner rolls for Thanksgiving, which was a roaring success.

Hot tip: I like to use parchment paper plus a generous amount of olive oil from a squeeze bottle to help the raw pizzas be both movable (to the oven) and releasable (from the pan when they are done).

Hot (literally) tip: I like to use 1 pizza steel (what a lovely housewarming gift) and 1 cast iron pan to make pizzas. I preheat them in the oven, as hot as it goes (my new oven gets up to 550!! I sometimes put it down to 525 because the crust browns pretty fast). Shape the crust on parchment paper + olive oil just on the counter. Then get out the hot pizza pan, put the crust (including the parchment paper) in the pizza pan. The pans get very hot, do not touch them. Only touch the parchment paper. I poke the paper down with a fork to make sure the crust is touching the hot pan. THEN put the sauce and toppings on and bake for about 10 minutes. The parchment trick also usually means if I mess up and put all the toppings on before the pan transfer, it is not a disaster. Just move it in really quickly and maybe fold it up like a wonton (gather the diagonal corners at the top), doing your best to keep all the toppings on.

With these principles, it's also pretty easy to make pizza using a store-bought crust. Both Safeway and Whole Foods sell pizza dough in bags, which also turns out pretty good if you just use that plus the parchment/oil/hot oven. Main tips for that dough are (1) definitely don't follow the directions on the bag -- do not bake at 400!! and (2) if you can't stretch it out into the shape you want yet, put it back in the bag (or, if you threw that away, drizzle it with some olive oil and wrap it in plastic wrap) and let it sit at room temp for 30 minutes.

I don't want to brag, but I'm going to do a small brag: these pizza experiments have yielded pizza that's WAY better than any spot that delivers to my house in San Francisco. (The results are NOT better than all the sit-down pizzas in SF, but I haven't had sit-down pizza since before the pandemic which started 9 months ago, so here we are). When we can, come sit down at my house and we'll have a good time. Bring salad.

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lochnutmonster · 6 years

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Hi you said that you lost a lot of weight last year. Can you give some advice or tips?

Hey!

I can’t say I lost weight 100% healthily as I wasn’t in a great place emotionally and a lot of it had to do with skipping lots of meals but I’ve continued to lose weight healthily in the last few months and here are some tips!

1. Drink green tea!!-I know it’s not the greatest tasting tea compared to others but it boosts your metabolism and I’ve had times in my life where I’ve done no dieting or exercising but still lost weight just by drinking green tea. You can get it in different flavours too if you really don’t like plain green tea!

2. Try to avoid a desk job!-I work in a kitchen so I usually put on about 5,000 steps a day with only a 30 minute break for lunch (7 hour days, no coffee breaks). Being on your feet keeps your mind off food while burning fat and calories! :^)

3. Find a food that you can nibble on without taking in large quantities-I personally like sunflower seeds and popcorn kernels. It’s not about taste or nutrition, it’s just to avoid binge eating out of boredom

4. Chew gum!-Because I do work around food I always chew gum to keep myself from snacking! It’s just too much of a hassle to take my gum from my mouth, eat while holding wet gum and then put the gum in my mouth again. Also, mint doesn’t mix well with most flavours so just having the minty taste in your mouth makes most foods gross. Peppermint gum is an appetite suppressor btw!

5. Drink lots of water!-I drink LOTS because I use water flavoring drops so the water tastes super good but still has 0 calories. Get the cheapest stuff you can find, they all work the same and you can even find the same flavours for half the price of name brands.

6. Associate a task with an exercise -My biggest hobby is drawing which I sit on my bed to do and because I drink so much water I pee... a lot. So every time I stand up to pee (once every 40 minutes or so) I do 10 squats. 10 squats every 40 minutes is super easy, it literally takes less than 30 seconds and by the end of the night I may have done 50 extra squats and not feel like it at all!

7. Break your favourite foods down to their bare essentials-Example: I really like the grilled tuscan sandwich at work which is two pieces of panini bread, tomatoes, mozza cheese, black olives, red onions and ranch.Instead of eating all that, I just put black olives, banana peppers and ranch between two slices of tomato and eat it like a mini sandwich. The mozza cheese and bread don’t have much taste so by isolating the veggies and sauce that do have taste it really minimizes the portion size and cuts all the carbs out but still tastes super good. Try and do this for your fav foods and try to figure out how maximize the flavours you crave with way less content and quantity.

Hope this helps! Happy 2018!

#nice ask #Anonymous

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comrade-jiang · 7 years

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The Price of Bread in Dungeons and Dragons, Part 2

Part 1

Remember when I said this would be weekly? I fucking lied. Anyway, today we have a list.

Vegetables and fruit; Let's round out that bread and cheese diet some.

Up next we have... Spices and drugs, including tobacco, coca, poppy, and hemp. Land, water, and buildings. Overhead costs- You need to "buy in" before your crops start paying for themselves. These are often outrageously expensive. Transport costs. What, did you think your crops magically teleported themselves to the market? Craftsmanship. Making things is HARD. And expensive.

Let us begin.

VEGETABLES

We've mentioned grain as a way to set the price of bread in D&D already. But we've left out a key crop in the medieval era. You all knew it was coming- potatoes. Unlike most crops, where you plant a seed, you plant a potato. The potato grows more potatoes. There do exist potato seeds, but as a farmer, you're dealing with potatoes most of the time.

Unlike the lowly wheat and other grains, there is no weight loss from potatoes. You pick and eat the entire plant. Mash them, boil them, stick them in a stew, even. Whatever you do, the entire plant is used. We'll assume that potatoes have an average yield of 3 pounds for every 1 pound planted. An acre of earth can hold about 1,000 planted potatoes, which ripen into 3,000 later. As wheat is the basis for our entire economy, growing potatoes has to return a similar, if not greater, profit for our farmer than wheat. If it's greater, then why does anyone grow wheat? Well, that's a good question. You can make bread out of potatoes, you don't have to mill them, and they can even be eaten raw. The reason why wheat is still king is because, to put it simply, it lasts the longest, and was already king. Potatoes are probably the second most common crop in Bronzeisle, and are catching up to wheat fast.

For now, potatoes grow in a different kind of soil, and don't require as much maintenance, meaning less farmhands, meaning less land. Potatoes are taxed by the government, meaning a loss of a relatively small 300 pounds. There's no further loss, since they don't have to be milled. The miller's usually a cheat anyway.

We'll say our acre, minus tax, brings in 60gp on average. This is 2700 pounds of potatoes. This means that each pound of potato sells for roughly 2cp at the market. This results in cheap, easy sustenance, and makes up the backbone of the poorest people's diet.

I'm going to ramble about corn and everything else under the cut. Settle in.

There's also corn. There are many varieties of corn, but for this we'll only have three. Yellow corn is standard proletarian fare; jewel corn is multicolored, sweetened, and larger; feed corn is shorter, stockier, and is used to feed animals. Humanoids can't eat feed corn, since it's harvested when dry. You'll quite literally crack your teeth trying to eat it off the cob.

Our yellow corn is harvested when soft and can be dried out and popped. The farmer need only plant 100 pounds of corn seed per acre, but returns 1600 pounds of corn. Unfortunately, 50% of this is waste from shucking the corn into an edible shape. The government takes another 10%. This means we're looking at 640 pounds of corn per acre. This corn can go for an average of 48 gold at the market. This means a pound of corn is worth roughly 6cp. It can be made into cornmeal quite easily- the kernels themselves can be smashed by a mortar and pestle at home, or using an actual grindstone. The amount of precision required with a flour miller isn't required here, and there isn't any loss. A pound of cornmeal sells for about 8 copper, and is often traded for a finished loaf of bread.

Our jewel corn is a similar story- harvested when soft, and produces multicolored popcorn when dried. The farmer plants 100 pounds and gets back 2000 pounds. 50% of this is lost due to shucking. The government takes 15%, as it is considered a luxury item. The farmer ends up with 800 pounds of corn. Jewel corn goves for 80 gold per acre, or around the same price as one large beef cow. This means 1 pound of it goes for 10 copper. Similarly, it can be ground into jewel cornmeal very easily. Jewel cornmeal commands an even higher 15 copper per pound.

Finally, there is feed corn. Feed corn is harvested when bone dry, and usually grown in impressively massive numbers. It grows taller than yellow or jewel corn, but the end result ear of corn is shorter and fatter. It's only palatable to animals in this state. The farmer plants 200 pounds and gets back 2000 pounds. Only about 40% is lost, but the government still takes 10%. This leaves us with 1000 pounds of finished product, which will sell at a market price of 10 gold per acre, or 1 copper per pound.

Next we'll talk about a variety of root vegetables. This is a class of vegetables including ginger, radish, carrots, yams, and onions, as well as all their relatives. They all sell for roughly the same amount at market, but let's use onions as our example.

The farmer can plant 500 pounds of onions per acre, and returns 2500 pounds at harvest. Onions, of course, can be eaten in many ways, including raw. The waste from an onion is negligible, so we'll set it at 0%. The government taxes root vegetables at 10%, leaving us with 2250 pounds of nothing but onions. These onions go for 36 gold an acre, meaning a pound of onions costs 2 copper, or 1.6 more exactly. But we'll round up.

Next are vine plants. We'll throw in gourds such as pumpkins because otherwise I'll forget. Let's use tomatoes. The farmer can plant just 50 pounds per acre, but expect a yield of 300 pounds. This does mean tomatoes require more land to grow large numbers on, but tomato gardens are often grown on much less than an acre, sometimes a half or quarter acre. Additionally, vines only need to be planted once and continually generate tomatoes every season. The government taxes tomatoes at 10% and leaves us with 270 pounds, which command a value of roughly 25 gold per acre. This comes in very nicely for the farmer, who can sell his tomatoes at 9 copper per pound.

Finally for vegetables we have greens. There are some other vegetables I'm leaving out, but I think you can understand the idea. The farmer plants 100 pounds per acre and gets a yield of 1400 pounds. The government taxes this at 10%, and leaves us with 1260. Another 20% of this is waste, mostly the middle portions of things like lettuce and cabbage. It's not complete waste- pigs will gladly eat the cores of lettuce. 1008 pounds are edible for humans, with the other 252 being left for the pigs, if applicable. Greens go for 30 gold per acre, or 4 copper per pound.

Let's see where we are. We can have a cheeseburger with a glass of milk on the side, a side of fries, a bowl of corn, and onion rings if we wish. Our burger can be topped with lettuce and tomato.

We can calculate the price based on all the math we just did. Our regular cheeseburger is 30 copper already. We can't move prices to lower than 1 copper, so a glass of milk will most likely be on the house. Our side of fries is made of one half-pound potato, or another 1 copper. Our onion rings, similarly, will be made of a half-pound onion. Another 1 copper. A slice of lettuce and tomato are negligible, but we have to at least pay 1 copper for the smallest amount. The corn bowl is worth about 3 copper.

In total, our day's meal is now a whopping 38 copper. Again, the economy of scale doesn't quite exist yet. If we had to buy full quantities of everything to get these items, our cost shoots up dramatically. The full cost of a burger when having to buy full quantities of every ingredient is 106 copper. Let's see if we can get this down later.

FRUIT

Finally, no more vegetables. Now we can talk about fruit. First up is our nut crop. This is a bit different, as nuts grow on trees. Yes, I'm aware peanuts don't, but I also don't care. A nut tree grows to maturity in 10 years. The average tree produces about 20 pounds of nuts per year, but keep in mind that 90% of this is loss due to shells. Only 10% is the actual meat. This means each tree produces roughly 2 pounds of meat per year. Not exactly a cash crop. We're going to say that 50 trees can grow per acre, meaning we're getting 1000 pounds of nuts, or 100 pounds of actual meat. We'll put the finished product at 5 copper per pound of nut meat, or 5 gold per acre.

Of course, almonds specifically can be used to make almond milk, by bringing 2 gallons of water to boil with 8 pounds of almonds. This makes roughly 1 gallon of almond milk, which commands about 5cp per gallon at the market.

Next are orchard fruits, such as oranges and apples, and other things that grow on trees. A fruit tree takes 4 years to grow to maturity and produces 40 pounds of fruit every year after that. An acre of 50 trees, then, produces 2000 pounds of fruit.

We'll make fruit considerably cheaper than vegetables because they simply don't provide the same nutrition. 2 pounds of fruit sells for 1 copper piece, meaning an acre of fruit can go for 10gp. Not a whole lot.

Now let's talk cider, which in this will be a generic name for fruit alcohol. 40 pounds of fruit comes out to 3 gallons of cider. Cider is relatively easy to make, but is extremely alcoholic and can sell for upwards of 3 silver a gallon. All 50 trees can generate about 150 gallons of cider per year. If the farmer uses his fruit crop to make cider and nothing else, he can make 45 gold a year.

Finally, the last important fruit, grapes. Technically grapes don't grow on trees, they grow on vines, but who cares. They don't get replanted every year, so what's the difference, really.

Each year, an acre of vineyard makes 1200 pounds of grapes. The grapes themselves don't sell for much- 1 copper per 2 pounds- but only the most decadent asshole will eat grapes that could be turned into wine.

It takes about 12 pounds of grapes to make 1 gallon of wine. This means we get 100 gallons of wine per acre. The cost of the grapes going into this pound is 6cp, but the smart farmer will sell this for around 2 silver a gallon. This is the price for bottom shelf wine. Good wine can go for 10 silver, and top-shelf Dragonwine can go for 10 gold. Imagine being so decadent...

Well, that's it for this installment of me crunching numbers for 12 hours a day. Tune in next time so we can do it again.

Part 3

#Dungeons and Dragons #d&d #d&d 5e #worldbuilding

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yournewapartment · 7 years

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Tomato Sauce

There is nothing that I love more than a bowl of pasta with tomato sauce. Tomato sauce is inexpensive, versatile, and so easy to make. You can literally let it stew for hours unattended while you do your thing. I am known amongst my friends and family as the tomato sauce queen. Here are some of my tips and also some of my favorite recipes. 🍅

Thick Tomato Sauce

The only way to make thick tomato sauce is to use canned tomatoes. Fresh tomatoes create a thinner sauce. Trust me. Don’t believe the haters who say that a complex sauce can’t be created in a half hour. They are liars! Thick tomato sauce is great for anything from ravioli to shells. It’s also better for weird pasta shapes (like wheels) than thin pasta, because it coats better.

1. Pricing. There are different qualities of canned tomatoes, different brands costing anywhere from 89 cents to $6.00. You can taste a slight difference with the tomatoes themselves, but not enough to warrant dropping lots of money. I recommend just going to your local Dollar Store and buying bulk cans of whatever is cheapest. One 12 oz can of tomatoes makes two meals for me.

2. Canned variety. Sometimes I like to buy “fire roasted tomatoes” or “herbed tomatoes” to mix it up. Even with the stronger varieties, any initial taste they have will be mostly covered up by whatever you put in the sauce. Remember: fresh herbs are always better than dried ones!

3. Building your sauce. If you’re going to put anything that needs cooking in your sauce (NOT meat, but any garlic, onions, mushrooms, carrots) cook these in a sauce pan first. Use oil, not butter. Add any dried herbs or spices you want to this initial mix.

4. Get going. Add your tomato sauce to the pan and get it bubbling. Now is the time to add anything that doesn’t need cooking (olives, capers, anchovies, pickled anything). I like to use brines in my sauces, so I add them at this point. For example, if I’m making a puttanesca sauce, I’ll add my black olives and pour the black olive juice right into my pan.

5. Taste it. Take a spoonful and taste it. If you don’t like it’s taste, add some more spices. If it’s too acidic, add tomato paste. At this point you can either turn it on low and let it cook for an hour, which creates a very rich and thick sauce. Or, you can cook some meat or veggies and add your fresh herbs. Always ad your fresh herbs in right before you’re about to eat! Otherwise they’ll wilt and you won’t taste their flavor.

Some easy thick sauces:

Puttanesca: From Series of Unfortunate events (and also Italy). Cook garlic and onions first. Don’t let them brown too much, just get them not raw. Add your canned tomatoes, let the sauce sizzle while adding salt and pepper (don’t go crazy on the salt). Add anchovies, black olives, capers, and other pickled things (pickled mushrooms, jalapeños, pearl onions, etc). Pour your black olive juice right into the sauce pan. Let it cook until the sauce has absorbed the olive juice. Top with cheese.

Marinara: Brown some garlic and onions in olive oil. Add tomato paste to the pan after the onions and garlic have turned golden, and swirl it around so that it gets toasted. Add your canned tomatoes and any dried herbs you may be using (thyme, parsley, oregano… but be gentle with your oregano pouring). Let reduce if you added the dried herbs, otherwise add fresh herbs and serve immediately. Put this on your pizza or in your lasagna.

Bolognese: Cook your meat first with oil, seasoning with cumin, garlic powder, pepper and salt. Or whatever spice blend you enjoy. Remove the cooked meat, and use the juices as the base for your tomato sauce. Pour your canned tomatoes and mix the sauces. Add chopped carrots or your other favorite vegetables. Cook until the veggies are fork tender, and add your meat back in. Hearty and warming!

Thin Tomato Sauce

This type of sauce always reminds me of summertime at my parent’s house when my mom would make her basil tomato sauce (see bellow). A thin sauce doesn’t have to be lighter than a thick sauce, but it definitely interacts with pasta differently and really needs a long pasta or a penne pasta to properly pick it up.

1. Fresh tomatoes. You don’t need to spend your lifesavings on beautiful heirloom tomatoes (in fact I’d urge you to just eat any heirloom tomato you happen upon raw). Any old tomato will do, even ones that are starting to sag and move towards the end of their lives. One fresh tomato makes two meals for me.

2. Cutting tomatoes. Cut the bottom of the tomato off and slice your tomato that way, cutting into the core. This way, no part of your tomato goes unused. For quick cooking, chop the tomato up small. If you have more time, leave large chunks to caramelize. You get a bit more flavor this way, but we don’t all have the luxury of time, so don’t stress about it.

3. Sauce base. With this type of tomato sauce, your base is 90% oil. The tomatoes themselves aren’t heavy enough to carry themselves, so do not skimp on the oil. I recommend cooking garlic and onions and browning them before adding your tomatoes. Allow them to dissolve into the sauce while you do your dishes or whatever.

4. Acidity. Fresh tomatoes can make for a really acidic sauce. Make sure to cook some veggies or meat to help balance out the flavor. Cook these in a separate pan while your tomatoes are reducing. Remove them, and pour their juices into the sauce. I recommend bacon.

5. Too much reducing/gloppy sauce. You may have to add water if your sauce becomes too reduced. Don’t worry if you add too much water, just let the sauce reduce to a comfortable consistency. Add your fresh herbs minutes before it’s done. I would skip the spices or dried herbs, their taste is too powerful for this sort of sauce.

Some easy thin sauce combos:

Hello onion: Caramelize half an onion. Chop it up into thin slices so that it will cook faster. Cook bacon and pour the drippings over the cooking onion. Add your fresh tomatoes and add water to help everything reduce. Be careful adding salt, the pasta will have salt from the bacon juices already. Add the crumbled bacon after you’ve turned the sauce off.

Mom’s basil sauce: Using olive oil and chopped garlic, cook tomatoes with salt and pepper. Add basil when the tomatoes have reduced.

Veggie blast: Brown onions and garlic (or not). After they’ve browned, add your favorite veggies to the sauce. I have a soft spot for squashes so I like to use eggplant and whatever squash we have in our fridge. I encourage you to get creative and to try different things. Add your tomatoes shortly after adding your veggies, because you don’t want the veggies to overcook and becoming mushy. Add spinach or kale after the sauce has reduced, and season heavily with salt and pepper. Seriously, veggies need salt.

#cooking #low spoons #low spoon #budget #Cooking on a Budget #college student #college food #college cooking #easy cooking #pasta #tomato sauce #tomato #apartment #new apartment #first apartment #college #dorm #dorm food

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vandykecarolpdrf7 · 5 years

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Guide to Dining Out on a Low-Carb and Keto Diet

Dining out is one of life’s simple pleasures. Sharing a meal with friends and family — a meal you didn’t have to prepare, and that someone else serves to you — can be a happy oasis in an otherwise stressful and difficult day. But many people are mystified by the prospect of dining out while following a ketogenic diet.

Faced with menus boasting pasta and rice specialties or entrees that are invariably accompanied by starchy side dishes, they’re uncertain of what they can order and may even feel like there’s nothing safe to choose.

Don’t let this happen to you!

Dining out on a ketogenic diet is much easier than you might think. It isn’t difficult; it’s just different. Dining out while watching your carb intake isn’t hard at all. In fact, in some ways, it’s easier. If you’re overwhelmed by restaurant menus that are ten pages long and offer every food under the sun, it’s actually simpler to decide on something if a significant portion of the menu — pasta, risotto, sandwiches, pancakes, noodles — is off limits.

Provided you’re careful about what you order, you can absolutely enjoy dining out on a carbohydrate restricted diet. The trick is to be proactive about customizing your order and asking for appropriate substitutions. With food allergies on the rise and more people becoming health-conscious, restaurant staff are not put off or surprised by special requests. They are quite familiar with the modifications you’ll ask for, and servers will not look at you funny if you ask them not to bring the bread basket.

When traveling, people who are new to keto sometimes post to social media asking locals for recommendations for keto-friendly restaurants in the area. The truth is, every restaurant is friendly to low-carb eating provided you know how to customize your order. Some establishments may be easier to navigate on a carbohydrate restricted diet, but it’s unlikely you’ll find yourself in a place where there’s literally nothing suitable for you.

Here’s a guide to selecting appropriate foods that will allow you to enjoy a meal out while continuing to reap the benefits of your ketogenic diet.

General Tips for Eating Out When You Follow a Low-Carb and Keto Diet

Let’s start with the obvious: avoid all pasta, rice, bread, potatoes, corn, beans, soda, juice, and desserts. (If you find a restaurant that serves fresh berries with real whipped cream for dessert, then go for it!)

Simplicity is Key

Choose dishes that are prepared simply, without sauces. Sauces often have hidden (and not-so-hidden) sugars and starches. Opt for grilled, baked, steamed, or roasted meats, poultry, seafood, non-starchy vegetables, or salads.

Fried foods are not off limits, but it may be best to avoid them because they typically have grain-based breading or batter. Plus, while fat certainly isn’t something to be feared on a ketogenic diet, you do want to be careful about the kinds of fat you consume, and many restaurants use mixtures of vegetable oils, which are high in pro-inflammatory omega-6 fatty acids and should not be used for cooking.

Don't be Afraid to Ask

At restaurants where free bread or rolls are provided before the food is served, request that the wait staff not bring those to the table. (This works if everyone at the table is watching carbs. If others in your party want the bread, you’ll simply have to abstain.) Ask for something else if it’s the type of restaurant that is likely to have something available; olives or pickles can be served instead of starches and grains.

Or even better, simply have nothing before your meal. If you live in the U.S., restaurant portions are comically large; there’s no need to start filling up on something else while you wait for an entree that will probably be more than you can finish in one sitting anyway. Regardless of where you live, there’s truth to the saying, “Hunger is the best sauce.”

Add Non-Starchy Vegetables & Healthy Oils

Ask for a double portion of non-starchy vegetables in lieu of a starchy side dish. (For example, a double serving of broccoli instead of a potato, or roasted vegetables instead of pasta or rice.) Most entrees come with a choice of one or two side dishes, and there’s usually a selection of starchy items and non-starchy vegetables. Double up on the lower carb options.

If you’re following a strict ketogenic diet, as opposed to a more general low carb diet, you may need a bit more fat than your dish contains. If so, simply request some extra olive oil or butter on the side.

Preparation is Key

Prepare ahead of time. Many restaurants have their menus posted online. Take a look ahead of time so you’ll have an easier time ordering, or so you can suggest a change of location if you feel your options would truly be too limited to order something keto-friendly.

What to Order at Restaurants Mexican Cuisine

Fajitas are perfect for keto! Grilled meat, peppers and onions—it doesn’t get much better than that. Ask the server not to bring the tortillas, and request extra vegetables instead of rice and beans.

You can enjoy sour cream, cheese, guacamole, and salsa as condiments. (Make sure the salsa is mostly tomatoes, onions, and chilies, and isn’t a heavier carb variety with corn, mango, or black beans, for example).

At popular Mexican fast-food chains, you can order meat, cheese, and vegetables in a lettuce bowl instead of a flour wrap.

Middle Eastern and Greek Cuisine

Choose kebabs or other grilled meat dishes. Ask for extra vegetables or meat instead of rice. Avoid hummus and pita bread, stuffed grape leaves (which usually contain rice), and anything else with beans or high starch.

These cuisines are famous for grilled meat specialties; take advantage of that, as well as marinated feta cheese, olives, seared halloumi cheese, and tzatziki or other yogurt sauces.

Indian, Afghan and Pakistani Cuisine

These are somewhat similar to the Middle Eastern cuisines discussed above. Avoid rice, pita, and naan. Favor curries and dishes of grilled or roasted meat and vegetables; avoid chickpeas and potatoes. Some Indian restaurants are vegetarian.

It may be more difficult to make low carb choices in this case, since there will likely be more beans, potatoes, and other starches.

Chinese, Japanese and Thai Cuisine

No General Tso’s? No problem! Request that your dishes be prepared steamed or cooked without sauce. Sauces often contain sugar and corn starch, so instead, use soy sauce, wasabi, or hot mustard as condiments.

Great choices for Chinese takeout are steamed chicken or shrimp with mixed vegetables. Some restaurants also offer grilled chicken on skewers or beef on skewers.

Avoid rice, noodles, wontons, dumplings, deep-fried foods, and tempura (due to the batter). Sashimi is an excellent choice; just avoid sushi rice.

For Thai restaurants, avoid noodle and rice dishes. Choose curries that contain meat or seafood and vegetables, spices, and coconut milk. Ask your server if the curries are thickened with flour or corn starch; they may be able to leave them out.

Italian Cuisine

Pasta is obviously off limits, but most Italian restaurants have plenty of other options that are suitable for low carb diets. Choose salads, steaks, chicken, pork chops, or seafood with vegetables.

Avoid bread and breadsticks and ask for no croutons if you order a salad. Request extra non-starchy vegetables instead of pasta, potatoes, or polenta as side dishes.

Pub, Diner or Bistro

These establishments usually have diverse menus, so finding suitable options is easy. Just use the same logic as for anywhere else: no grains or other starchy carbs, and no sweets for dessert.

Caesar, chef, or cobb salads are fantastic choices, as are bunless hamburgers or sandwiches. As always, ask for non-starchy vegetables instead of fries or other starchy sides. You can often substitute a house salad for a carb-heavy side dish. Other good selections include any type of roasted meat, chicken, or fish, or a platter of egg, tuna salad, or chicken salad on beds of lettuce.

Breakfast Options

Stick with eggs, bacon, ham, and sausages. Avoid pancakes, waffles, potatoes, toast, bagels, muffins, fruit, juice, jam/jelly, etc. Omelets containing meat, cheese, and/or low-carb vegetables are a great way to go. (Think ham, onion, peppers, spinach, mushrooms, zucchini, greens).

Any other egg preparations are fine, too: poached, scrambled, over-easy, hard-boiled — however you prefer them. Avoid bottled ketchup, which contains high-fructose corn syrup. Use mustard, mayonnaise, or hot sauce as condiments. Orange juice or fruit smoothies no; coffee or tea, yes.

Entrée Salad Options

Customize your salad as necessary: no dried cranberries, fruit, crunchy noodles, etc. Stick with lettuce, spinach, and other greens. Suitable additions include chopped hard-boiled egg, bacon, cheese, avocado, ham, turkey, chicken, steak, salmon, olives, cucumbers, sliced peppers, radishes, and other non-starchy vegetables.

Use oil & vinegar or a high-fat dressing, such as ranch or blue cheese. Avoid thousand island, French, honey mustard, raspberry vinaigrette, and other high-sugar dressings.

Beware of Hidden Pitfalls

Don’t be shy about asking your server for details on how foods are prepared. For example:

Watch Out for Added Starches in Omelets

Some restaurants may add flour or pancake batter to their eggs to make omelets fluffier. Ask if this is the case and if so, request that they prepare your eggs without that. (One way to avoid this altogether is to stick with your eggs hard boiled, poached, or over-easy/sunny-side up.)

Watch Out for Added Starches & Sugar in Sauces

If there’s a sauce with ingredients you’re not sure of, ask the server to tell you what’s in it. Many sauces contain sugar, corn syrup, corn starch, and/or flour. For this reason it’s best to stay with simply prepared dishes — grilled, broiled, or steamed meats or seafood with no sauce.

Be Cautious with Condiments

As mentioned above, ketchup is loaded with HFCS, and many salad dressings are high in sugar and corn syrup. Your safest bets for condiments are mustard (all are fine except honey mustard), mayonnaise, hot sauce, melted butter, olive oil, or vinegar. (All vinegars are fine, but go easy with balsamic as it’s higher in carbs than the others.) Full-fat, low carbohydrate salad dressings are permitted — look at labels in supermarkets to get an idea of which types are best. The carb count per 2 tablespoon serving should be 2 grams or less.

Beverages

The same rules apply to beverages as apply to food: avoid the obvious sources of sugar and other carbs, and stick with options you know are suitable for you.

Still or carbonated water is always a safe choice, as is coffee or tea. You may opt for diet soda if artificial sweeteners (or natural low-carb sweeteners like stevia) are part of your diet. Don’t underestimate the power of fresh-squeezed lemon or lime to jazz up water or club soda.

As for alcohol, you might be surprised that distilled spirits are nearly carb-free, and most wines are relatively low in carbs. Alcohol tolerance typically decreases in people following low-carb and ketogenic diets — the effects will hit you more rapidly and more strongly than you may be accustomed to, so go slowly and don’t imbibe on an empty stomach. Here's a helpful guide to alcohol on carbohydrate restricted diets.

Special Requirements When Eating Out

The suggestions above are intended for people following low-carb or ketogenic diets primarily for weight management or overall health.

If you are following a more restrictive diet due to an autoimmune condition or you have severe intolerances to gluten, soy, dairy, or some other dietary element, you will need to be a bit more careful.

If you absolutely must avoid certain ingredients, I recommend getting familiar with a select few restaurants in your local area that you trust to prevent cross-contamination and whose staff is well-versed in taking special measures to ensure your food is prepared to your specifications.

Stop by these establishments at a quiet time, when the manager and chef(s) might be available for a chat. (During a busy dinner service is not the time to give these folks your entire medical history.) If you are polite and courteous in explaining your needs, they shouldn’t be put off by your special requests or think of you as “that guy” or “that girl.”

It might help support your case if you assure them that if they’re able to accommodate your unique needs, you will be happy to patronize their establishment frequently, and recommend that others do so, too. Even before the age of social media and online reviews, word-of-mouth recommendations from satisfied customers were a restaurant’s best advertisement.

Things might be a little different if you have preferences based in environmental or ethical concerns, or if you prefer to avoid certain ingredients on principle (e.g., soybean or corn oil, feedlot meats, farmed fish). If you prefer to consume exclusively organic produce, grass-fed or pastured meats, poultry, and eggs, there may be restaurants in your local area that can accommodate this, or at least come close.

If you have a severe allergy or sensitivity to specific ingredients, then obviously you need to avoid those completely. But if you choose to eat a certain way out of personal preference, keep in mind that socializing with friends and family and enjoying the simple pleasure of a shared meal is one of the things that keeps us human. Loneliness and isolation have substantial negative impacts on health. So it may be worthwhile — on occasion — to bend your personal rules for the sake of company, conversation, and tending to aspects of your health beyond what you eat.

Tracking your Carb Intake While Eating Out with the KetoDiet App

To help you make the right choices while eating out, get the KetoDiet App and browse through thousands of keto-friendly meals in hundreds of restaurant chains. Track your carbs, protein, fat and calories while eating out. New restaurants are added in every update!

Now Go, Enjoy!

If you follow these tips, you’ll find that dining out while sticking to low carb or keto is not difficult at all, and you’ll wonder why you ever worried about it. Armed with these simple strategies, you will never find yourself at a restaurant and think there is truly nothing suitable for you.

http://bit.ly/2ImAXa3

#Guide to Dining Out on a Low-Carb and Keto Diet

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afashionpoint · 5 years

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How to Cook Eggplant - Easy Cooking Method

How to Cook Eggplant Easy Ways - An eggplant is one of the most versatile vegetables in the kitchen, it has varied and delicious possibilities that make it an excellent choice for starter, main course, or a side dish. In addition, it is very nutritious, low calorie and rich in fiber. It also has iron and antioxidants. Do you want to incorporate it into your diet but do not know how to prepare it? We explain how to cook eggplant with the most delicious recipes. There is no doubt; the most popular way to cook eggplants is by stuffing them with meat or tuna. The stuffed eggplant is a complete and nutritious option. That serves as a first course, ideal for the whole family, especially for those children who do not like to eat vegetables. Eggplants can be prepared in infinite ways: fried, roasted, baked, creamed, sautéed, sweetened, in the salad, stuffed, diced, stripped, wheeled. They can also be served as a main dish, as an accompanist, as the dip, as an entree … well; there seem to be no limits when preparing recipes with eggplants.

How to cook eggplant

How to Cook Eggplant?

Do you love eggplants, but do not know how to cook eggplant? Do not stress out, we will tell you. The best way to cook is grilled, broiled, steamed or baked. Try not to fry it, as it absorbs a lot of oil and it will be difficult for you to digest. Serve with cheese, sauté with garlic or stuff it with meat. There are several ways to cook your food that help you improve control of your weight because you save calories. It also improves your digestion and you will be healthier. Best Ways of How to Cook Eggplant? Baked: Cooking in this way allows better preservation of food nutrients. This type of cooking helps you to save many calories. Grilled: The heat of this type of cooking method allows grilling food outside, leaving intact the aromas and juices. Steamed: Double-bottomed pans are used for this technique. This is ideal for weight watchers. Stew: As in steam cooking, nutrient losses are reduced to a minimum. This form of cooking is to introduce in a closed container which is desired cooking accompanied by onions, garlic or other vegetables. On paper: It is wrapped in greaseproof paper, aluminium or bagged. This type of preparation allows you to conserve all the nutrients and get the maximum natural flavour. Boil: It is the simplest, fastest and oldest way to prepare an eggplant. It is necessary to consider the cooking time for that food does not lose nutrients. Remember that it is important not to add fat to foods in any way, if you prepare them. But the best thing about this is that eggplants are prepared quickly and they taste really delicious. Do you want to learn how to cook eggplant? So keep on reading; If you are looking to cook eggplant to prepare a delicious starter, then there is no doubt that choosing eggplants as a starter is an excellent alternative. It is a perfect choice to serve before a dinner, accompanied by a good homemade tomato sauce. You can also learn how to make breaded eggplant and prepare this delicious dish. Another perfect alternative for cooking an eggplant in a delicious way is that serve as an entree that will leave everyone licking their fingers. This one combines this vegetable with delicious Mediterranean ingredients like tomatoes, anchovies and garlic to create a dish that will leave you sucking your fingers. Do you love stuffed things with ham and cheese, but you do not have meat on hand to prepare them? No problem! You can use this plant as an ally and cook delicious booklets. It is for sure that this sautéed eggplant will surprise everyone. This is a creative and very complete to enjoy this vegetable recipe differently. You can also prepare these booklets sautéed eggplants with tomatoes which are real good! If you want to cook eggplant in a cake style then try the exquisite eggplant cake. It is a 100% vegetarian recipe, which is stuffed with tofu, an alternative full of flavour. And if this tofu is not your thing, you can make a simple eggplant cake stuffed with ham and cheese, a perfect traditional recipe for kids and guys. And to finish with some good ways to cook eggplant, you cannot miss one of the most typical cuisines. In this, there is a combination of eggplant, onion and red peppers that are made in the oven, which is an excellent companion for fish and meat. The best thing about this recipe is that you do not have to do much, just put the whole vegetables to baking and that’s it!

Tips: Incorporate the eggplant to your diet, since it has a multitude of beneficial properties. It also helps in severe headaches. To remove its bitter taste, cut it a night before cooking, and put some slices (uncooked) in a container containing water with salt, rinse the next day to remove excess salt and cook. It is certain that you will the yummiest of eggplants ever! It contains lots of water, so it has very few calories and is an excellent diuretic. It is an antioxidant and prevention of certain cancers or heart disease. It lowers cholesterol and helps prevent atherosclerosis. Pure Antioxidant: Recently, scientists have identified the eggplant have high levels of chlorogenic acid, a potent antioxidant produced in plant tissues to protect against infections. In the skin of this plant have been identified flavonoids, pigments. That give the colour purple, also with antioxidant properties. These flavonoids help lower cholesterol levels. Did You Know… Drinking half a liter of eggplant water per day, for a week, helps lower cholesterol? It is prepared by soaking bits of eggplant, in a dark place for 24 hours. Benefits of Eggplant: Promotes circulation Reduces cholesterol It helps to remove fat Inhibits the growth of cancer cells in the stomach thanks to its vitamin E (great antioxidant). Read the full article

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butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 7 years

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I'm making spaghetti and GIANT ASS MEATBALLS for dinner so in honor of that, my birthday, and the exactly zero fucks I have left to give, here's my personal recipe for spaghetti and meatballs for any and all folks who want to do it. Please bear in mind that, while I find this recipe to be low-spoons for me personally, there are definitely steps in it that will not be for everyone. Plan accordingly. Ingredients: (this list has been severely edited because I am shit at writing down my recipes and I literally just wrote the steps and then came back here and added in the ingredients list because fuck if I know what I'm goddamn doing) ~2.5 pounds of ground beef - this recipe may sort of assume you, like me, live within reasonable transit of a wholesale butcher's where ground beef costs $14 for a five pound bag. The good news is that there will be enough leftovers from this to keep you in dinners for a week, so blowing your entire meat budget probably won't lead to protein deprivation later on. ~1 pound of SWEET ITALIAN SAUSAGE, GROUND - I cannot stress enough how important it is that you not just get plain ground sausage, although my dead great grandma and I would be fucking thrilled if you picked a spicy tomato sausage instead of the sweet. ~a handful of Italian herb mix - how much is a handful? Exactly as much as it takes to make a middle aged Sicilian woman ask "are you sure that's enough oregano?" Probably. Try like 3 table spoons at first and then next time adjust to your specific tastes. If you want hard mode, instead of buying the container of dried flakes labeled "Italian" or "provincial", then buy fresh rosemary, thyme, sweet oregano, basil, lavender, and get ready to grate a goddamn lemon peel over some minced garlic. ~4 to 6 eggs. Do you like your meatballs soft and just a little squishy? 6. Do you prefer them to be solid enough that they don't feel like the slimed underbelly of a frog with phlegm when you're shaping them? Maybe stick with 4. ~bread crumbs. I like the Italian seasoned ones. Because that middle aged Sicilian lady was right and you ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY did not put enough herb mix in there. ~any combination of the following four types of cheese in frankly unreasonable amounts: mozzarella, asiago, Parmesan, and Romano. Hard mode is to mix these grated monstrosities into the meatballs themselves. Easy mode says drop into your bowl after it's all been heated and prepped and fucking stir. ~2 pounds of noodles. You're feeding people for a week, shut up and make it 4 pounds. I like those cheap ass 2 lb boxes of elbow macaroni from Aldi's, but sometimes I splurge and buy the fancy spinach flour pasta or the fucking wheel noodles because I'm a goddamn child. Hard mode says to mix flour, water, eggs, and herb mix into dough, let rest for 24 hours in plastic wrap, and then roll, slice, and drop in the pot to cook for maybe 7 minutes but probably 5. ~a jar full of pasta noodle marinade. This means that you mix together garlic salt, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, lemon juice, and those little red pepper flakes they give you at pizza restaurants along with some fracked black pepper. Fill your pot with water, dump this in, and let it come to a rolling boil before you ever introduce noodle to wet, or my great grandmother's ghost will personally haunt you for exactly two days to tell you that your cooking tastes like sadness. There's a reason my mother never cooked pasta in my house and it's mostly because great grandma Josephine is a fucking irritation. If you want her to haunt you except to say nice things, you can use fresh garlic, kosher salt, sliced lemons and bell peppers dropped directly in the water, and a splash of red wine vinegar because Josephine was a bit of a lush. ~pasta sauce, at least 16 oz of it. The reason I know so much about Josephine is because I refuse to take the mother fucking time out of my day to personally crush the dozen tomatoes and two bulbs of garlic, dice a sweet onion, chop the flowering herbs, and layer in the white wine vinegar and chicken broth that she insists is the appropriate way to make sauce. Store bought costs like $8 for a week's worth on a fancy day and doesn't make my kitchen look like the scene of a grisly murder. I'm pretty sure she only haunts me for this out of spite and loneliness though, so you shouldn't need to worry and can just use storebought as well. The recipe itself is as follows: get a giant mixing bowl, crack in your eggs, whip with the herb mix, then dump in all the meat (and cheese if you took hard mode - Josephine is so proud of you) and the bread crumbs (which should be at a ratio of about 2:1 of meat:bread crumb) and just fold and squish. If you're like sane people and hate the feel of raw meat under your finger nails, I recommend dumping all this stuff into a giant plastic bag instead of a mixing bowl, sealing it tight, and just squishing it around a lot until the texture feels consistent. If you're like sane people except you have children who are constantly under foot and in your way, this is a great part of the recipe to let them do as long as either a) they're not four, or b) you don't mind losing some of the meat mix into the floor. Once your meat is mixed, scoop and shape chunks of it into lil balls. Or if you're like me and want to scare people, into something roughly the shape and size of 1.5 baseballs. I like this version because it means 1 meatball per meal per person is usually slightly pushing it, and since the recipe can make 20 of them....... well, portions are really easy to judge and it feeds a lot of people. Put these balls into one of two containers. Either an extremely large baking pan or a crock pot. Whichever cooking container you use, pour in enough sauce to basically cover the meatballs as if you were going to boil them in sauce. Because you are. If it's a crock pot, put on your lid, set on low, and let them slow cook all goddamn day while you're at work. If it's the baking dish, cover with tinfoil securely, preheat an oven to 400 degrees, and bake for about an hour and a half. Maybe two and a half if you made the baseball sized ones. Once you're mostly down cooking them (15-20 minutes left) you put a pot of water on to boil with your noodle marinade in it. When it reaches a rolling boil, drop in your pasta and cook to your preference. Strain the noodles and - this is absolutely fucking critical - rinse them with cold water (removes starch and prevents your leftovers from becoming a slimy block-o-noodles in their container) and put them into a giant bowl before tossing lightly with like a quarter cup of your noodle marinade. Hard mode involves putting some asparagus in a frying pan with steak seasoning, olive oil, balsamic vinegar and red wine vinegar, and a little butter until they're soft and a little seared to serve with the pasta. Once you're done, you put some noodles, a giant (or a few smaller) meatball(s) with some sauce, and a healthy amount of shredded cheese onto a plate, microwave it for about a minute to soften the cheese, and mix thoroughly. Then enjoy. This looks like a lot of steps. And it is. But it also typically only takes me 10-15 minutes of prep time and since the cooking is all done without needing attention (besides maybe stirring the noodles two times while they cook or flipping the asparagus during hard mode) I tend to find this to be one of the lower spoon feed-an-Army-and-pretend-you-slaved-for-hours-to-do-it recipes in my book. Hopefully it'll work for a lot of you all too. See you next time on the "I am the literal worst at measuring out ingredients and honestly you should just assume you haven't put in enough garlic" cooking show.

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