#it's not like I'm asking to be your friend by agreeing with an unrelated opinion you have

[absolutelynotmate-archive]

this one and the next- I'VE MOVED BLOGS! if you enjoy this and are looking for more, follow me @formulaforza

c.leclerc x female reader (no y/n, soulmates au) word count: 4.3k a/n: my first f1 fic 🫣 be gentle i'm new here

Can we talk later?

You mill over the text, shaken, unprepared for the what are we conversation just yet, planning on living in the climate-controlled artificial relationship ecosystem for just a while longer. You write out an answer, delete, rewrite until the words don’t look like words and your fingers tap the wrong keys, delete again, set your phone face down on the arm of the couch. Chewing on it for a few more minutes, you attempt to play out the conversation in your mind, pausing here, clipping that short, slowing that down, and then your phone is in your hand again. 

You wonder if his phone sits deep in his pocket, buried somewhere in a bag, in his hand while he anxiously watches the typing bubbles appear, disappear, appear again. Maybe he’s as anxious as you, horrified, mortified, all the other -fieds at the thought of a label corrupting this, at the thought of rules and expectations and external opinions. 

You can plan it out as many times as you want, you’re always going to get stumped, because, well, you have no fucking idea what you and he are. You’re friends, best friends, the exchange of knowing glances, soulmates, a familiar laughter, strangers, a fading fire, nobody knows. Why, why must this conversation be had? You’re having fun, it’s fact, unwavering and unrelenting fun. Keep on, keeping on, just for now, until things aren’t so fun, and then the serious conversations can be had.

You can’t tell him no, refusing to have the talk would be worse than anything that could possibly come from actually sorting this situation out, from deciding whether or not this version of you will live on, or if it’s time they get buried, locked away far from your mind, replaced by someone new. 

Yes, you eventually reply. Dinner, my place?

There’s a pit in your stomach because you still don’t know what you’re going to do, what you’ll say, what your relationship is. His career, his lifestyle, it’s so, so different from yours. He’s home now, but he'll be gone soon, gone a lot, and you can’t just drop everything to follow him around, and you wouldn’t want to. You have no interest in every single move you make being talked about, photographed and scandalized. When you have a bad day, you don’t need the world to know, and when you have a good day, you don’t want to feel obligated to share it with anyone you don’t want to. 

He makes you happy, there’s no denying that, and you’re pretty sure he feels the same way, but you’ve been happy before. You’d be happy again, a simple happy, a regular happy. Is he really worth all that?

He’s knocking on the door at seven sharp, bottle of red in one hand, flowers in the other. You blush, because it’s the first time he’s personally delivered you flowers, and he makes fun of you for it, says you’re too easy to please with a cocky grin on his smug face. He asks you to be his girlfriend over the pasta dinner. You say yes, pretend you never had a single doubt, kiss him in the lamp lit living room. 

You meet his family in Monaco. It’s your first time on the paddock, first time at an F1 race,  and you pick anxiously at your cuticles the entire walk there. You’ve been planning your outfit out for a week, and yet still changed five times this morning. You would’ve kept going, but you were going to be late. You check your purse a million times, terrified that you’re going to forget something. They come up to you in Ferrari hospitality and introduce themselves. His mom is kind and respectful, and hugs you tight. His brothers remind you of him, same laugh, same mannerisms, same sense of humor. “She’s a keeper.” Arthur tells Charles that evening as you all leave the track. He nods, agrees, pulls you a little closer.

You move in together a few months after that, and find yourself explaining the intimate details of the past situationship to your mother over the phone. She’s just looking out for you, curious as to the stranger from another country that will be living with her daughter after only a few months of dating. She was expecting to hear that you’d been fucking for six and a half months before making the jump to boyfriend and girlfriend, but you weren’t expecting her to be so incredibly investigative. “He’s famous, Ma.” You’d told her.

“So if he kills you, I’ll see it on the news before I hear it from the police.” You laughed. She didn’t, and you promised to be out to meet her as soon as you could. You and Charles booked the flights over FaceTime that night.

Your parents had always held out hope you’d move back home, get tired of Monaco and all its pomp and circumstance and come crawling back to a twin bed in the land of dull beige apartments and gray skies. Charles impressing them was going to be twice as hard as it should’ve been, because the mere existence of your relationship was crushing their dreams for their little girl. He is an anchor, holding you steady in Monaco, stationary and happy and far, far away from them. 

He’s him, though, so all he had to do was flash those endearing eyes and that charming smile and they were calling him their son-in-law by the time we were eating dinner in the swankiest restaurant your hometown had to offer. You didn’t know it then, but he sat on the porch with your dad one morning and said he wanted to marry you. “Of course, you do.” Your Dad had said. “For your sake, I hope she wants to marry you.”

You did–want to marry him, and you danced with your friends and family into the morning on that summer evening, the air perfectly warm, the sun perfectly shining, a wedding band perfectly sat on your finger. It was the single most fun evening you’d ever had, celebrating the love you have for your husband. 

It takes a while to get used to that. Your husband, Charles.

“We’re not, not trying.” He told your grandchildren hungry parents at Christmas. You were mortified, wishing you could curl up into your own skin at the thought of your parents, especially your father, knowing exactly what’s happening in your sex life. It’s a year and three months to the day when they’re at your house in Monaco. You’re on the couch, raggedy pajamas and hair that hasn’t been brushed in three days, minimum, watching Charles carefully place your Mother’s littlest grandchild into her arms. He’s a month old, your son, and it seems like he’s already so big, but when you see him in your Mom’s arms, tiny wool socks slipping off his feet, you’re reminded just how small and dependant he is on you, both of you, to keep him safe from even his own fingernails. 

If you thought keeping mittens on the kid or waking up in the middle of the night to make sure his chest is still rising and falling was touch, nothing could’ve prepared you for that little shit learning how to open the babyproofed kitchen cabinets. The terrible twos were indeed, terrible. So terrible, that you’d decided hey, let’s do this again. Dragging yourself to those home races was anxious then, but now you’re chasing around a two year old, hoping and praying he doesn’t say anything or eat anything or, God forbid, break anything. 

Somewhere in the mess of it all, Charles was having his best season. The championship was so close he could taste it, and you made sure you were there, front and center, cheering him on when he finally achieved his dream. ‘It’s for my Father, and for Jules, and for my kids.” He’d said, teary eyed. He didn’t need to dedicate it to you, he never needed to prove anything to you, to show you his greatness. You loved him as he was, world champion or not, but you still hugged him with all your might in the middle of the track, still kissed him like there were no cameras and no people watching, because, for that immortalized moment in time, nobody was there but you and him. 

He smelled like champagne for three days, and you’re not sure you’ll ever bounce back from the celebrations that night, a permanent hangover and a queasy stomach at the mere mention of a top shelf tequila that shall not be named lingers on for years to come. Everything was perfect, though, and it was all so worth it. Two parents in love, chasing their dreams, a big house on a hill, a little boy and a tiny girl with the world at their fingertips. Your little family was so cliché it hurt. 

Before you knew it, you’re dropping your boy off at his first day of school, and you’re pretending not to cry while Charles laughs sweetly, wiping the salt from your face with the pads of his thumbs. He’s gone racing, and you’re splitting your already short time between this afterschool activity and that. When he’s home, he tries to shoulder as much of it as he can, and sometimes it feels like you kiss each other goodmorning and don’t see the other until you kiss again goodnight. 

Charles retires when the kids are eleven and eight. They understand, but they don’t. Their father is just their father to them, they can’t yet wrap their heads around the true passion he has for racing, the way it courses through his veins and occupies any free space in his mind, They don’t understand what it’s like to love something so purely, to know it’s what you were put on this Earth to do, not yet. 

It gets easier, for a while. There’s an adjustment period, and then you slip into a new routine, one where he tells the kids goodnight, and goes to sleep a few hours later rather than calling from somewhere else in the world and still having a million hours left in his day. 

The kids only get older, though, and their lives just get bigger, there’s more responsibility to shoulder, more things that need to get done. They develop new hobbies, add new sports practices and clubs and events to your already chaotic schedule. You’re tired, like, all of the time, and fight more than you ever did before. “I didn’t even want to be with you in the first place.” You said once, in the middle of your messiest argument. You two didn’t speak for three days, no hello, no goodbye, no tired small talk about your days or arguments about spending time with certain kids. On the third night, he slept on the couch and it felt like he had never been farther away. You made up the next morning.

At least, you told yourselves you made up. It only took a few days to slide back into the same stuff, hanging on by a single thread until a new fight came along to be the messiest one. You both tried to keep it quiet, hide it from the kids and your family and your friends, let everyone go on believing you were this perfect couple with this perfect life and perfect family. Nobody needed to know your relationship was going through the wringer each and every day, and you were convinced nobody was the wiser. “Are you and Dad going to divorce?” Your sweet little boy, the one who was now three inches taller than you, asked as you dropped him off for his first day at a new school. 

You called off work and went straight home, waited for Charles to get back from dropping off the younger one, and were crying on the couch when he got home. The two of you talked  until it was time to pick them up, and then you talked some more in the privacy of your room when you got back. It was the first time in a long time you actually talked to each other. You’d spent years speaking at each other, losing yourselves, losing each other, losing everything that mattered. 

“Your parents are so in love,” Your boy’s girlfriend–yes, he has a girlfriend now–said at his little sister’s graduation party. In a few short months, you’re going to be empty nesters, and Charles is taking it particularly hard. He feels like he’s missed out on too much, that his relationship with the kids will never be what yours is. You try your best to comfort him, but you both know he’s right. You weren’t the only ones who made sacrifices for Charles to chase his dream, the kids were forced to share their father with the world, whether they liked it or not. 

Charles was an emotional wreck the weekend of your little girl’s wedding. From start to finish, he was moments away from shedding a swimming pool’s worth of tears. He was so happy to see her so happy, and it was bittersweet for him, giving his little girl away, knowing that she didn’t need him anymore. He understood now what your father had meant all those years ago, that it was impossible not to love her, and that anybody lucky enough to be loved should never take advantage of it for even a moment. You danced together at the reception, laughing and reminiscing about your own. You’d asked, jokingly, if he regretted marrying you. “Never.” He said, without elaboration or grand gesture, and you knew he meant it, despite the challenges you’d faced together. 

Before you knew it, there was another Charles running around the house, laughing that sweet belly laugh and harboring all the innocence of the world in his big doe eyes. You’ll never be able to explain to anyone how much that meant for Charles, a grandson named after him. It was as if every doubt and insecurity  he’d had about raising your kids was silenced. As if you son was telling him, you built me, Dad, thank you

The years faded into each other, both of you graying and aging with an optimistic grace. Your kids threw you a surprise 40th anniversary party, and you thought it was impossible to feel so surrounded by love. You danced to your wedding song, resting your head on his shoulder like you had all those years ago, laughing at his stupid jokes and silently reflecting on everything that got you here. It was never easy, it was never going to be, but it was so worth it, to love him and be loved by him. 

And when your memory started to escape you, when you searched for a younger version of him in every room, he stayed by your side as a stranger. In a moment of clarity, ones that were becoming fewer and further between, you’d asked him to promise you something. “Let me go first.” You pleaded, feeling all the weight of a life without him, knowing that if he dies before you, you’ll forget he was gone and be forced to relive the sorrow over and over again. 

As your breathing slowed and the sounds of the world faced away, his hand stayed on yours. It’s only a matter of time, now. You’ll be gone soon, leaving behind the wonderful life you’ve created. “Wait for me wherever you go, mon ange.” He whispers in the stillness of the hospital room. “I will find you again.”

– – – –

You see him for the first time at a café. You’re sixteen and don’t even like coffee, but your best friend is dragging you in. He’s working behind the counter, flustered and busy, running around mixing drinks and taking orders. "Que voulez-vous commander madame?” He asked your friend, and she ordered. “Et vous?” I don’t drink coffee, you told him. He smiled, goofy, something familiar in his eyes. You noted his nametag, carefully drawn on with a chalk marker. Charles. 

He calls out your friend's name a few minutes after, and sets two drinks down on the counter. Her name is written messily on one, his phone number on the other. 

You spend the next month stopping by the shop randomly. Sometimes he isn’t there, but when he is, he makes you a different drink every time, his number scribbled on the side without fail. It takes the whole month before you’re convinced to actually call him, and he doesn’t answer. You leave a message.

Your first date is the weekend, coffee in the morning. Because, of course it is. He pulls out your chair on the patio of the small shop and the first date turns into a second, lunch in the park, and then a third, dinner at your favorite restaurant. Not once do you run out of things to talk about, something vast and unfamiliar and welcoming about him. In the silent moments there is  solace, warm and comfortable, like you’ve known each other your whole lives. 

Nobody believes in your relationship, not really. You’re fighting the odds from the time you decide you’re not going to break up before going to university. Everytime you catch up with friends from home, they seem surprised to learn you’re still together. Family whispers, tells you it’s not going to last, that you should prepare yourself. But you and he know something nobody else does, acutely aware of the draw and connection you share. A once in a lifetime, once in a millenia, once upon a time love story written just for the two of you. 

When you graduated, a cheap, shiny engagement ring on your finger, he was watching with a proud smile and a bouquet of flowers. You went home together, to your dumpy little apartment, paid for by your waitress shifts and his hours at the café. He cooked dinner, you ate off paper plates in the living room and made infinite, optimistic plans for your futures. 

You could dream far and wide, but when it came down to it, anything would be heaven if he was there. Cheap dingy apartment and barely paying jobs felt like the lap of luxury with him by your side. 

This time though, your story is much more tragic. Lovers fated for a John Green novel, a manic pixie dream girl to live on in montages on tiny phone screens, destined to be someone he thinks of in dark lonely rooms or when someone doesn’t answer his call. 

He realizes a year and a half after the abrupt end to your story that he can’t remember your voice, your laugh, your smell. He spends the day watching videos of you, re-memorizing the way you spoke, your mannerisms, you. He’s moved out of the apartment, and your parents have all your things in boxes in their attic. He drives into the early morning, stopping once to use the bathroom, nothing more. When your Dad opens the door in the middle of the night, he gives Charles a heavy hug and leads him to the attic. It’s there, under the A-frame roof, amongst the humid air and cobwebs that you are immortalized. Beyond the dust is everything that made you, you. Forever young and hopeful and in love.

In a cardboard box labeled your room, corners dark and misshapen, he finds a stack of disposable coffee cups, familiar label printed on the cleaned cups, familiar number scribbled on each one with the haste of a seventeen year old boy’s black sharpie. He had no idea you’d kept them, the stupid advances of a shy boy enamored with the pretty girl. 

He moved forward, somehow, sometime later. But, he never moved on, looking for your smile, your sense of humor, your heart, in everyone who followed. 

– – – –

The next lifetime is spent platonically, a lifelong companionship that nobody else could ever fully understand. You were old souls, cherishing the minute details of the world and longing for something simpler. There was no longing, or waiting to meet. You’d known him for as long as you could remember. 

He was a brother, without the blood. Charles the comedic protector, walking on the outside of the sidewalk and then promising to use you as a human shield, a plus one to a wedding when your boyfriend dumped you the night before then did the chicken dance in front of strangers just to get an embarrassed laugh out of you. Charles, who walked so you could run, who jumped to make sure you wouldn’t fall, who held you back so he could throw the punches. 

When you met his wife for the first time, then barely his girlfriend, you’d made him promise not to fuck it up. “She’s too good for you, Cha.” You’d told him, because it was true. 

When she put you in a purple chiffon cupcake dress at their wedding, he struggled to bite back laughter while you walked down the aisle. You flipped him off with your eyes and he looked to Arthur, who was cracking up beside him. 

“He looks just like his Dad,” She said, holding your son in the hospital. Thank God for that, Charles said, and she smacked his arm. 

“We can only hope yours doesn’t suffer the same fate.” You said, a smug expression on your tired face. 

He went first this time, a million years later. You held her hand at the funeral and kissed the boys’ cheeks, tears pricking your nose when their grip on you tightened. 

There was comfort in the grief, something sure and steady in you, this wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last. 

– – – –

Yes. Dinner, my place?

He gets there at seven, wine and flowers in hand. Your heart sinks and you’re ready to have a panic attack. You can’t do this to him, he’s too sweet, too kind. He leaves your apartment an hour and a half later, and you cry for what feels like the entire night. The flowers are in the trash the next morning, because you can’t bear to look at them.

“Do we have to watch this?” You asked, sitting on the couch next to your boyfriend. I thought you liked it, he’d said. There was nothing you wanted to watch less than Charles winning his first World Championship, watching him celebrate on the podium, kissing his girlfriend for the whole world to see. You didn’t know how you were supposed to feel, it was a combination of ache, longing, joy, and pride. None of which were your place to be feeling. “Just, turn it off, please?”

You threw up three times on your wedding day. Something was wrong, you knew deep down that you were making a mistake, but you didn’t have the resources or the balls to do anything about it. You knew you’d be happy, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something better was out there somewhere, that your soulmate was walking–or driving–around somewhere in the world. You went through with it though, never knowing for sure the reason behind your tears at the altar. 

Things were good, until they weren’t anymore, and you find yourself in the aftermath of a messy divorce and a messier custody battle. You live back in your hometown, the one you swore you’d never live in again, in a beige apartment that doesn’t belong to you. It’s all you can afford, and you need your parents' help with the kids. Not that you found yourself with much time to look back on your life, but when you did, it wasn’t the sunshine, roses, and simple happiness you’d aimed for when you opted down this path years ago. You found yourself wondering, more often than you’d like to admit, about what could have been, about what almost was. 

Your son, because the universe is sick and twisted and determined, decides he wants to be a Formula One driver. He must get it from his father, the drive to chase his dreams, because it certainly didn’t come from you and your desire to settle for something simple and regular. 

You don’t know how you manage it, the financial aspect of what feels like the most expensive dream in the world, but you do. Before you know it, your leg is anxiously bouncing for what feels like nine straight months. Watching him drive horrifies you, leaves you shaky and exhausted even when everything goes right, but especially when anything at all goes wrong. 

Your name on his lips is startling. You vaguely recognize it, turning to a familiar face that matches the maturity of the voice. It’s him, because who else would it be? “Charles?” You say, and you feel twenty-something and insanely vulnerable again.

“What are you doing here?” He asked.

“My boy.” You explained. 

“And, his father?” He asked, something strained in his voice. Hope, maybe. Or boredom. You don’t know him the way you once did, and he’s even more closed off than before. 

“What about him?”

“Is he here?” He said, hanging, something unsaid stuck on his tongue. You gave him the room to speak. “With you?”

You shook your head. “He’s here, but. We’re. I’m divorced.” You admit, something about it still sounds so taboo, so scandalous. Like it’s something you should be ashamed of. “You?”

“Widowed.” He said, and you inhaled sharply. 

“What was her name?” You don’t know why you said it, but it was coming out of your mouth before you could catch yourself, before you could express your sympathy. He told you. You’d never heard a name sound so sad. “I’m so sorry, Charles.” He swatted your words away, shook his head. “What was she like?” His face brightened, like nobody had ever asked what she was like. It was as if he had been desperately waiting to tell someone about her. 

He smiled, thought about it for what felt like a hundred laps. Quietly, practically under his breath, he spoke something you were completely unprepared to hear. “You,” He said. “She was a lot like you.”

<3, mack. hope you enjoyed, if you did, please don't be a ghost reader!

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc angst #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc drabble #charles leclerc blurb #cl16 #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 one shot #f1 fluff #f1 angst #f1 x you #f1 x reader #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc fanfiction #f1 fanfiction #f1 fanfics #f1 one shots

[jewish-vents]

post 10/7 jewish culture is straight up no longer believing your goyische friends actually like you and are in for the long haul. immediately after 10/7 I lost a few people who were disgusting assholes, but ever since then my goyische friends on this website have been slowly "un-friending" me (unfollowing, soft-blocking, and blocking). I'll have other goy friends who stuck around this long say nice things about me, compliment my fics, my blog, and even me, and I just... don't believe it. I know that's a common social anxiety fear, but I never struggled with social anxiety that badly. if you asked me if I thought my internet friends really liked me last september I would've said yes and meant it. but now, after months and months of my friends dropping like flies (and I almost NEVER lost mutuals before 10/7, not in almost 4 years on this website), I don't really believe them. I just can't. I'm waiting for them to realize they don't want to put up with my jewish ass anymore.

I've decided to stop talking about i/p because of this... I'll see posts on my dash (like from jewishlivesmatter) which I think are good and I wanna put on my blog, but I feel like every post about it pushes my goyische friends a little further away, a little closer to the block/unfollow button, so I'm just... not. I used to be scared to talk about i/p, from may 2021 when I learned just how antisemitic most goyim were because of the riots, to oct 7. but now I no longer fear getting doxx'd or getting swarmed with anon hate. I just know that talking about it is the number one way for Jews to lose friends.

"do you even want to be friends with these people?" yes. if I held goyim to the standard of i/p opinions I think everyone ought to have, I'd have no goyische friends. at this point as long as they agree that hamas is a terror org and a 2-state solution is best, I'm down to keep being friends, because even that is a godsend for people my age (20s).

it's even started to affect me in real life. the other day I had a talk with a goysiche friend of 15 years about i/p (knowing where they stood, obviously, by this point). we got into a mild argument, but they had stuff to do so we had to stop. I sent them an unrelated text an hour later, and when I got radio silence for the rest of the day (our argument was in the morning) a part of me genuinely believed that was it for us and braced for losing an irl friend who means so much to me and I thought was going to be in my life until one of us dies. they'd be in my wedding party. we've penciled in figuring out some honorific my future kids can use for them instead of aunt/uncle because they're nonbinary. I caved and texted them to make sure we're still friends, and they said yes, thank fucking gd, because otherwise I might've just had a full mental breakdown.

anyone else waiting for their remaining goyische friends to leave them?

.

#jewish vents #antisemitism #i/p

[beanghostprincess]

If you’ve seen the part where Winry gives him her earrings… you’re really close to another super emotional, gut wrenching scene that gets me every time (from Ed’s pov).

Personally I don’t ship either of them with anyone else because their scenes are just so… like it’s so obvious they’re so completely and irrevocably in love with one another that I can’t imagine them loving anyone else or even just crushing on anyone else. Like on one hand they’re two very well written characters with their own interests and passions unrelated to the other, which is great to see because I don’t like when characters only exist within a ship, but on the other hand, at the same time they love one another so much that it’s like the other is their world? In a way? Like the other is always on their mind and they’re always worrying for one another and wanting the other to be happy. I’ve always thought Ed has actually loved Winry since they were kids and that Winry fell for him as a teen, or at least that she realized she loved him when she was a teen. But the thing with Ed and Al arguing over who would get to marry Winry someday when they were kids, and Ed being the only one still thinking about it and being so flustered when he asks Winry about it, is a pretty big sign for me that he indeed fell for her back then and has kept on loving her all along (trying to hide it from others and failing miserably) while Al prob had a small crush on her as a kid, and eventually moved on and saw her just as a best friend and as a part of his family.

Idk I’m just rambling sorry hejhfkds I love seeing your FMAB posts, it’s always fun to see the first reactions of someone to a piece of media you love, especially when they’re as positive and wholesome as yours have been. So thank you for sharing that with us (and good luck for the incoming scene I mentioned… and for the finale. They might ruin you… but in a good way lol)

Yesterday I watched the scene in which a pipe (or a beam? Whatever that thing was) fucking goes through Ed's body (disgusting. Thank you. I almost died of a heart attack) and he almost dies and only gets up and fights against it because he "doesn't want to make her cry for something so dumb" and I think these two are going to be the death of me (also Winry screaming for Ed when Al doesn't respond. I am throwing up. I can't do this).

I ship Ed with Ling and Winry with Paninya because I have the magical powers of a multishipper, but I do agree on the fact that they're indubitably in love and I'm 100% sure they're together in every universe no matter what. They love each other so so much it makes me melt every time. The other day I had to pause the show to scream about them (sometimes I pity the friend that watches the show with me because he has to deal with me doing a character analysis every fucking time something happens).

And please!! Keep rambling about Fmab whenever you want in my inbox (without spoilers ofc until I finish this) because I just love talking about it. It's becoming one of my favorite animes for sure <3 I'm so so glad you like seeing my opinions on this!!

#i'll read the manga once i finish the show probably #because i am loving everything about this #and i need MORE #fmab #fullmetal alchimist brotherhood #winry rockbell #edward elric #edwin

[disapoimeq]

HIIII JULIUS CESAR FROM CLONE HIGH!!! ( For me you are him, don't try to convince me otherwise ) /j /pos

Here are two questions to make you think ( I know, thinking sucks/hj ):

Can you list your most favorite/likeable Clone High ships? (if you can, from the most favorite to the least favorite)

Andddd!

You can list your most hated/hateable Clone High ships? (from most hated to least hated )

And if you could give a brief explanation or/and a rating from 1 to 10

Questions asked for...plot reasons/j

I hope I'm not bothering you!

Have a great week 😇

Hello!! THANK YOUU for asking! and yes, i am Julius Caesar (real) and I am thinking thinking so hard rn!!! This is pretty lengthy post!

I don't really have any ships I dislike, so

heres some ships I ranked from fav to least fav and how I personally prefer them!

(BTW! With platonic i mean like, friendly dynamic)

Julius + Jesús (romantic, platonic)

Vincent + Julius (romantic, platonic)

Jesús + Vincent (romantic, platonic)

Frida + Cleo (romantic)

Joan + Harriet (romantic)

Joan + Abe (romantic, platonic)

Joan + Confucius (platonic)

Abe + JFK (platonic)

Frida + Harriet (platonic)

Confucius + Harriet (romantic, platonic)

Abe + Frida (PLATONIC!!)

Jackée + Lizzie (romantic)

Carver + Sacagawea (romantic)

Catherine + Julius (platonic)

Ivan + Catherine (romantic)

Joan + JFK (platonic)

Marie Antoinette + Vlad (romantic, platonic)

Joan + Cleo (platonic)

Abe + Gandhi (platonic)

Topher + Ivan (platonic)

Topher + Vincent (platonic)

Confucius + JFK (platonic)

JFK + Ponce (platonic)

Additionally, and unrelated to my ranking, heres some ratings and reviews haha

Julius + Jesús 9/10

I LOVE THESE TWO like they make me laugh sm I like to think they're childhood bestfriends, and y'know. Sometimes you just gotta kiss the homies 😎

Julius + Vincent 8/10

These two are nice too, it's mainly a comfort ship cause of me self projecting lol 😭

Jesús + Vincent 8/10

Almost the same exact opinion I have with the last one!

Frida + Cleo 9/10

OH MY GOD THAT ONE S3 EP LEFT ME HEART BROKEN, but! I am very very much glad they're on atleast good terms

Joan + Harriet 8/10

They're cute honestly, I liked the cheerleading episode a lot. and despite conflicts they have they seem to find a way to relate to eachother

Joan + Abe 8/10

OKAYY OKAY I KNOWW... this ship gets a lot of hate, and for an understandable reason , honestly. I don't blame anyone for not liking it but I personally don't mind it that much, they have their cute moments over all I do agree the writing could be better

Joan + Confucius 7/10

I was honestly hesitant with them at first when I saw the s3 trailer, but they grew on me!! They were cute. I personally think the dynamic worked pretty well too

Abe + JFK 7/10

They're alright, scenes with them are funny and I love that they ended up as buddies

Confucius + Harriet 6/10

Though there are some issues with their relationship, I found them pretty cute in s2 but I lost interest quick

Abe + Frida 10/10

CUTEST!! THEY'RE LIKE SIBLINGS TO ME!!!

Joan + JFK 6/10

I get how people can say there's not really much chemisty with them, they can be cute but I feel like I like them better off as pals now after what happened in s2

Catherine + Julius 7/10

They're like more seen together in s1?? Regardless if they were ever a couple or not, I like to think they separated on good terms/are friends!

Joan + Cleo 6/10

They're alright, I like the ship art, and I liked them getting along from time to time

Confucius + JFK 7/10

I'm kinda sad they didn't get much screentime together in s3 unlike in s2, but they're nice they were funny

anyways this all doesn't matter, the best clone high ship has been and will always be julius x a new haircut/j

for other ships, that I didn't explain or mention, they're also cool as long as its not weird LMFAO ship whoever you want and ty again!! 😁👍

#clone high

[palant1r]

Not the same anon as the other ask, but I guess my question comes from the difference between personal vs political opinion on people who consume that type of media. Like if someone wants to draw some fake anime kids having sex (let’s say they do it because that’s a thing they like to imagine and not for any satire reason), I don’t think they should be put in jail or anything, but I do think that they’re a creep no matter whether they aren’t harming any real kids or not and I wouldn’t want to be friends with them. Even if they would never harm a real kid, even if their account is marked 18+ only and they rigorously check every follower and block them if they even suspect they’re a minor, I still wouldn’t want to interact with this person because if someone enjoys creating and consuming that content, that is an interest I find disgusting because just because the kids they are imagining are fake it can’t be completely de-linked from the existence of irl children or at least attraction to the traits associated solely with them

As a second, semi-unrelated question, I guess it begs the question on drawn cp (I know you don’t agree with the term but there’s not better one) of real people, like the adults who drew porn of, say, the cast of It back in 2017 when they were all between 13-16? Sure it didn’t involve making real kids do those things, but it was depictions of real kids doing sex acts and I don’t see how them not being directly involved means using their faces to make porn is okay. (Not to accuse you of supporting this, genuinely curious on where you think the distinction lies if any)

Thanks for the question! Appreciate you being thoughtful and respectful about these difficult topics, and I trust that those of you who see this ask shan't clown in the notes.

I think it's valid of you to have your own personal boundaries about who you interact with online. It's clear that you've reflected on exactly why you find this interest disgusting, which is great, we love critical dissection in this household, but I'd like to push back on that a little. I find it interesting that you specifically mentioned anime in this question. If we're talking attraction to traits associated solely with children, that's an area where anime really muddies the waters. After all, it's very easy to find anime 14 year olds with 8 packs and chiseled jawlines and anime 28 year olds, especially women, that look like children — not to mention the 1000 year old loli trope. In many cases, especially in shonen fandoms, someone who didn't know the canon ages of the characters wouldn't be able to differentiate between nsfw art of adults and minors even if they were all drawn perfectly on-model. And then of course we could get into the weeds about the distinction between children and teenagers, ages of consent in different countries, weird timeline stuff that goes on in a lot of anime and creates a bunch of technicalities (like Kusuo Saiki being physically 16 but mentally 21), how this relates to real people with disorders that make them appear prepubescent long after the age of majority, et cetera, et cetera. I definitely understand why it makes you uncomfortable, but I'm generally not as quick to judge creators of anime porn on the basis of association with childish traits simply because anime is so stylized that such associations kind of lose meaning. I mean, I'm attracted to anime men, and I experience zero attraction to people in real life, so it's easy for me to see how what someone enjoys in anime and what they're attracted to IRL could be fairly divorced. I'm not trying to argue that you're wrong, just something to think about, I guess.

As for your second question, hoo boy. The issue of explicit art of real children kinda relates to another issue i've seen people talk about, that of explicit RPF of real minors. It's a conversation that I think demands a lot of critical analysis and discussion that people are unfortunately generally not willing to have in a public forum. For the sake of my answer, I am determining that we are solely talking about minors who are under 18 in real life and are American so we don't have to deal with any age of consent debates. This includes minors who play over-18 characters but not child characters played by adult actors, or else we have to start talking about Riverdale and that's a whole other conversation.

I guess I can start with praxis. Let us assume that we all agreed that this is Wrong and Bad. Come play with me in this space without assuming anything about my position from this hypothetical. What now? What concrete actions could institutions take to prevent the existence of Wrongbadthing? Would it be morally right for people to harass those who create or enjoy Wrongbadthing? The relevant entities here would be the US government, AO3, and platforms that host art. I am against most government restrictions on art that people create, because they will inevitably be interpreted through a far broader lens than their original intention. And I don't think it would be productive for AO3 to ban certain types of explicit fic. People would just stop tagging their explicit minor RPF as such, and then we still have equal volumes of the Wrongbadthing but without the tools for people to avoid it. Not to mention it raises logistical problems with moderation and enforcement. Like, what happens when a celebrity turns 18? Are people then allowed to write explicit fic about them when they were younger than that? Maybe we can all agree that it's bad for a 30 year old author to write porn about a 13 year old actor — but what about a 15 year old author writing porn about a 16 year old actor? Any distinction between the two regarding enforcement would require some sort of age verification beyond self-identification, and that's a recipe for disaster. as for platforms like twitter that would host the kind of explicit art we're talking about, well. i think it's pretty easy to see how any sort of enforcement on a minor rpf explicit art ban would be an absolute nightmare. it's hard enough for social media sites to even enforce a porn ban. now imagine a porn ban that needs to incorporate facial recognition of a bunch of people across all different art styles — im not sure that's even possible. as for harassment — the most common punitive response on the individual level — i dont think that's justified in this case. as you've pointed out, regardless of personal feelings on the subject, this art isn't causing material harm to any real person.

I honestly don't engage with RPF communities in general — it's one of my squicks — and I'm not quite comfortable making grand moral generalizations about people I've never really interacted with. From what I understand, there are commonly accepted codes of ethics within RPF communities, and I'm not really sure how those mesh with explicit fic about real minors.

i am personally...not a fan of explicit RPF fic and art about real minors, to say the least. i think it ties into larger celebrity culture that objectifies and sexualizes children in the limelight. but like. what am i gonna do about it? doing journalism has forced me to learn how to not get outraged or disgusted about things i cant do anything about. i just don't follow those people. I'd defend their right to host their work on the platforms we use, but only because any effort ive seen proposed to restrict that work would cause more harm than good and wouldn't even be remotely effective at its stated goal. in terms of harm reduction, the best i can do is support moderation policies that allow that stuff to be clearly tagged and RPF informal ethics codes that stress a firm division between fandom and subject.

i haven't yet formed a super solid discursive framework that i'm confident in defending about this issue, so i'll just fall back on praxis lol

would love to hear from someone who's more involved in RPF than i am haha!

#pisscourse #anon

[mamushroomoracorn]

I saw your comments on a post of why Leona gets more hate than Vil, and I can only say:

You majesty spoke ✨FACTS✨

Asker = you❖OP = original poster of the topic

Thank you, I don't want to assume, anyone else or you the asker, to assume the worse in the OP poster.

Don't witch hunt them:

I am just going to make a post like they said.

This is mainly aimed at them but I am just trying to get my points across

◙

This was about why Leona gets more hate than Vil.

They said themselves but I think they had a different meaning for what they said. But they said it badly.

Main critical points was mostly why people brought up racism

The evidence of fandom mistreatment

How they formatted it was badly if they wanted just a "Leona vs Vil"

How in general darker skin characters in comparison are mistreated with others outside of ND.(similar but different topic)

How Leona and Vil got same cannon treatment but not Fandom treatment. Not just fandom "opinion"

◐

I tried talking to them in the DMs after they consented to talking there and I ended there as requested by op when they asked after we give our two pieces.

I wanted to talk in the DMs but it was a mess, I did try waiting for them until they were done chating and I believe they did so too.

But it was still hard.

○

Just to clear up things Vil and Leona is my favorite characters.

But I am Ace trappola and Trey fan at heart.

I'm also Black and Autistic.

I took debate classes that talk about formatted arguments.

I been in the fandom a long time.

I am not the best but I will try to lay out what I am saying.

◐

I tried to give not give bias but everyone have bias.

Under the assumption they did talked with a lot of friends from different backgrounds.

Their intentions weren't racist or intentionally ignorant they just wanted a normal conversation.

I still do think that.

◎

Although I do understand their intention wasn't to bring race and just wanted to compare Leona and Vil.

Defending people who likes Vil.

But I think they misinterpret the issue/debate/discussion and what it is about or what they implied by accident.

◧

I did talked last night about how they formatted the argument badly and they didn't cut clear lines.

After they consented to being criticized.

I mention, if they didn't want to talk or debate about .

if it is racism or not they shouldn't really formatted the discussion like that.

Expressly it is clear, it is more to just finger pointing. Since there is nuance and history in this debate/fandom.

❖

Let's get this out of the way, basically to a argument.

You need to clear up what you are arguing about.

Context to the topic

Person A arguments

Why they might think that why or have a explanation.

Your response w/evidence and reasoning

▦

This fandom does have a history of racism/colorism outside of just characters.

"Belly dancing outfits" topic, Stereotypes of dark skin characters.

Discrimination in general.

I remember when a twst creator had blatantly said the R slur despite not being Autistic or disabled.

Leona vs Vil have been a topic for a long time at during the JP translation era

{where there wasn't any EN server yet}

So already there's a fair assumption that race could be at play in the Leona vs Vil.

◧

I did not had time to say this because they cut me off saying "I don't see, eye to eye"

I just don't agree

Then of course the comments about in their own Original post sub-quoting:

"How it is more racist to assume that the person who likes vil is racist" -OP poster

"Why the fandom treats Leona different doesn't come from racism"

Which isn't really the point when people say the treatment of leona is unfair or discriminatory.

It isn't a petty response to Leona vs Vil, in fact the Leona vs Vil is unrelated.

To unfair treatment of Leona which is a different debate.

Which I think they mixed up multiple debates that happen over the years.

But still they still bringing it up.

◌

I think they thought it was all just Leona vs Vil.

it is about the treatment of Leona in the fandom and how it comes from a general mistreatment of darker skin characters.

Despite many of the darker skin characters having the same growth and treatment in cannon.

𖠅

Let's start with Leona and Vil because it is easier since it started from Leona and Vil.

One of their points is that Leona "murder" was premeditated.

Vils wasn't:

Leona and Vil "attempted" murder of somebody.

Vil was mentally unstable but he did made the choice to actually commit murder, he would of continue if his friends didn't came along.

Leona did tried to stampede Malleus, but considering Malleus is a well known powerful fae, I believe his intention was to more than to injure Malleus like anyone else.

They did mention how Leona harmed his peers more but honesty both actions would of harmed their school/classmates.

Both would of ruined their and everyone reputation.

One would of been more physically if Malleus were to lash out.

One would of been more mentally and emotionally

⧎

Another point or group point they made: Is that Leona treats his peers badly.

Which is up to debate.

Although Leona does Laze around, he does pay Ruggie to do his job. Other than chapter 2 where he commit horrible crimes.

It doesn't effect anyone but mostly him. Also he is only rude whenever someone bother him first outside of chapter 2.

✎But he did many good stuff

{Spoilers}

He does donate his clothes to Ruggie.

He pays attention to his teamates to the point he gives personal gifts to his dormitory folks.

He literally sacrificed himself to the government police when abducted so Ruggie doesn't get hurt.

He let's Riddle lay on his limb to let Riddle rest.

He let's us stay in his dorm

He helped Vil during Fairy Gala, even though he did have a motivation he could of just let someone else do it.

He is shown to care just like Vil

✎Vil is like the same

Vil does help small businesses

Vil cares about his peers too to the point he will take time out of his day to adjust their clothing.

He can't help but to be critical, that's his love language.

He pays attention to the small things.

He is also appropriately affectionate.

Gives praise and gratitude.

But also:

He gives unwanted criticism

He is also physical with his peers sometimes.

He also gets on people outside his dormitory.

He literally stands back when someone else is getting physically hurted in his own leadership.

He lets Rook his vice harass other students of other races and let's Rook sometimes inappropriate touch other students.

He is unintentionally classist, he made comments about MC outfit despite their living conditions.

He also get on epels accent and dialect because it is too "incorrect".

He also doesn't really adjust to how his peers want to dress or present as their affirming gender.

Both of their cons

Both of theses guys will dip out when someone is in trouble.

But Leona mostly isn't in power majority of the time.

Vil is mostly is in power to do something.

⌨︎︎

The main difference between theses two is how their growth is shown, backstory and Lore.

Both got pros and cons

Otherwise their shouldn't be much of a race issue or difference.

ဗီူဗီူWhich is the main debate problemဗီူဗီူ

It isn't that people is overacting over a character comparison.

Is that OP you mention race multiple times in your argument, you mention that people had brought race into it.

You didn't say why they did.

Which is a important factor into formatting arguments to why people in the fandom not think that way.

Because there many people who act that way.

☄︎

OP said sub quoting this:

"I never seen people outright say I hate Leona for being dark skin"

People don't have to say "I hate Leona because he is black".

✎There's things called Micro aggressions and of course racial discrimination. Which I seen a lot of darker skin characters had that treatment not just Leona.

Because when you brought race into it OP you brought up the Colorism/Race issue.

Discrimination can be seen in

Whitewashing

Giving negative stereotypes to POC that harms our community

Removing any positive traits from the character and replacing them with stereotypes.

Removing representation

I faced a lot of Micro aggressions:

Ex: Just chopping up a argument is just people "overacting". Also combining multiple two seperate debates about treatment of characters with the fandom(A) vs with a character comparison(B) .

Despite the Nuances and multiple meaning in Debate A.

It is unfair and not good to do that because you are brushing off vaild feelings with evidence.

I have seen, like I said earlier.

"Belly dancer outfits" or negitive Orientalist ideas

@gwaaaaar who worded this perfectly ▼

"Its unfortunate that foreign culture is seen as so distant that sometimes it gets sexualized"

Although there's appreciation, there is sometimes fetish-ation.

But also there's the:

✂ Aggressive black male stereotype

🜲 The predatory South East Asians/Black males

𖠌 The fetishism from the fandom of the Romani character from the Disney movie with "Hunchback" character.

𖢘Romanticism of Rook fetishism towards other minority coded characters.

𖠈Sometimes with Native people too I seen stereotypes.

-

Leona falls into thoses mistreatments so it isn't just "different opinion".

It could be, I don't deny it.

Expressly when you combine two seperate discussions.

OP you will have theses responses, when you ignore it or don't address it.

Your points will be chop up to bias OP if you don't put a line what this debate is about.

You could of just say Leona vs Vil and end it right there OP.

It makes spaces this unsafe and when fandom actively ignore poc people. Wording it like that makes it unclear who is your target audience, or what you are arguing against.

This could clearly come off as, any racial criticism towards how a fandom treats two different characters is wrong and just opinionated based.

By the why you worded it.

⚈

Rook does gets better treatment than Leona.

Despite Leona getting harrassed by Rook even stating himself he doesn't want to be compared to being "wild".

Leona being intelligent and skillful as Vil.

Leona being caring towards people he is close with.

Leona gets reduce to being a lazy asshole that isn't thoughtful, jealous will take you away from friends, is physically/emotionally abusive, and is a "alpha male".

Despite not how male lions act like for one

How literally he is said to respect woman.

Rook despite stalking and touching without permission, being more physically active, despite making off comments, despite criticizing his friend at the worse moment, despite also pushing it sometimes, and despite not being consentful respecting people wishes.

He gets more soft stories, he doesn't really get framed as gaslighting or doesn't get as much toxic stories as Leona or Jamil.

He doesn't have aggressive words used on him during text, unlike Leona or Jamil.

Main reason why I am using Rook as a example, and not the Leech twins/Kalim because leech twins are ND coded a lot of discrimination for the Leech twins happens there.

With often they are babied or seen as less functional.

Rook really isn't, you can say Rook is ND coded with how he "hyper fixated" on the characters he harrassed.

Saying this lightly

But mental illness isn't a excuse for bad behavior always.

More of a explanation.

Rook is functional to think, breath, and make decisions, in fact babying him because of it is bad.

Like Kalim made harmful mistakes but he understands and tries to improve from it.

Rook been told off multiple times for his and he still continues.

See how Rook is way more aggressive than Leona and still gets better treatment. Vil is on the same level as Leona and still gets the better treatment.

I'm not saying people cant have opinions, but sometimes thoses opinions harm others.

It can lead to unwelcoming spaces to poc. If you word stuff just "Leona vs Vil".

Like people could like a game/fandom and be critical. A fandom is a diverse and wide area of demographic of people, there's bound to be people who dislike Leona or Vil.

Theres bound to be people who is intentionally or unintentionally discriminatory.

But you cannot say the fandom treatment is just only "different opinion".

it is too wide and too vague that to the point where it completely hurts POC when they give vaild critical points.

You did say there's different opinions OP but OP that also means there's people who I listed who display Colorism or Racism.

You could accidentally vaildate thoses harmful ideologies.

☘

I'm going to leave Comments on and Asks on for people who wants to continue discussion, critical advice or wants to give me points.

Otherwise have a Nice day asker @therezabravo and thank you for the compliment.

#twisted wonderland #leona kingscholar #vil schoenheit #pomefiore #savanaclaw #ask. #thank you for compliment

[valyrfia]

Hi. I saw your post about people taking Lestappen shipping too far and I have to say that I haven’t seen anything of the sort. Like people have unhinged thoughts, sometimes. We are human and fickle and we get carried away. I seem to remember yourself asking for people to send unhinged lestappen thoughts to you a few weeks if not a few months ago.

I mean yeah, it is wrong to post about Lestappen on spaces such as X and Instagram and tag them and their girlfriends, friends family members etc. But this is tumblr people have all soughts of takes on different things. Besides, Charles definitely knows about Lestappen with the way he’s active on Social Media trying to look up what is being said about him. Max may know because of Lando or Charles or even his girlfriend. Let’s also not forget about the posts both Scuderia Ferrari and Redbull make about them which give the connotations of wink, wink, nudge, nudge. And are we forgetting the F1 LV post and the caption? It’s everywhere.

The other thing is saying they are not together and never willl be. Call me delusional but no one knows their real life situations. They could be together or not. You say they are not friends and aren’t even close but you don’t know that. It is clear from their interactions they are friends, they have a few mutual friends and even didn’t Max mention they meet at dinner sometimes? I mean idk what that means but they are closer than we think and it’s none of our business. Whatever we see on the media is not a clear depiction of their relationship. Max is vilified a lot and Charles is beloved and that has nothing to do with who they are as people or their relationship, whether good or bad. The thing I know is they clearly moved in from their childhood rivalry and they know just about every small detail that relates to the other person. There’s a lot out there to support that.

I agree with you that people need to create boundaries when it comes to RPF but let’s not act like it’s not okay for people to express their headcanons in spaces such as tumblr and leave it here. The only people who know the truth about their relationship is Charles and Max. Yeah maybe they can’t stand each other and play it for the cameras, maybe they wake up wrapped up in each others arms, maybe they are just friends or not. But they are the only ones that know. So let’s not gatekeep people from expressing their thoughts in the right way and in the right spaces. Just as you said not so long ago, you ship Lestappen because you don’t like Kelly or something akin to that.

So yeah people will ship and say what they want and they can’t be stopped. But it should be done in a good way that does not infringe upon anyone’s life. But let’s also let people have fun. And if anyone is unhappy about certain takes. Block people, I know I have.

Hi anon! Just want to say thank you for your time in typing out this ask, I appreciate it must've taken a while.

First of all, to clarify my words and clear my name. Yes I asked for unhinged takes, and most I received were very fun and lighthearted in the way we usually are on here. I want to clarify that there is nothing wrong with delusional takes for the most part and I'm sorry if that's what you took away from the little reality check post because I love the delusion. I think it's just also our our duty to be responsible for our delusions and reality check ourselves. For example, I did not respond to a couple who pushed it a bit far, such as trying to give Max's opinion on Alexandra. Or, to give an example that I'm also a fallible human being who needs a reality check, I got halfway through replying to one about detailed analyses of their respective mental healths relating to each other before I checked myself, realised that that is intrusive and made myself close my tumblr tag and delete the ask. Yes I do not like Kelly, and I have given my reasons for it. I have never once said I ship Lestappen because I don't like Kelly, those are two unrelated opinions of mine. I like being delusional about Max and Charles's dynamic, and I dislike Kelly for her politics.

Tumblr is definitely the safe space for RPF and I agree with that and I was not trying to shame people away from that. The point of my post was to ask people to think a bit more, because tumblr doesn't exist by itself in the social media ecosystem. I've seen my own posts shared on tiktok and twitter (I refuse to call it X I'm so sorry anon), without my permission. I see takes that started here on tumblr start to crop up on tiktok, twitter, and instagram where they multiply and spread very quickly due to the nature of those sites. My previous post was very much a plea to keep the RPF within this well-defined fandom space of tumblr, where we're governed by the peaceful rules of tagging and not an unfeeling, hungry algorithm. Max and Charles may know or may not know about Lestappen, but it's also not their jobs to set their boundaries about what is and isn't okay.

In terms of the wording I used in my post (ie. will never date). I used those words for a reason because reality checks work the best with absolutes. Can I say I know for all certainty that my statement is right? Of course not, I can't provide you with anything that is 100% true, but the absolutes help to provide some cognitive dissonance between the people we see on the screen/irl and the people we are delusional about on here. I have been in RPF spaces before and I've noticed a pattern that things started going south when people started being like "99.9% sure they're not together....but what about that 0.1%". Not at all criticising you for making that point anon, but I'm explaining my choice to use such high modality language in a reality check.

As a last note, if my words seem overly harsh it's because of my past with RPF where I've witnessed things like the 0.1% delusion, the tumblr to other sites jump of headcanons and opinions. Sure there was one thing that pushed me over the edge to make that post but in the past couple of weeks especially, I've been getting a dreadful feeling of deja vu which puts me on edge. I am very paranoid about the whole thing, I am a fallible human being. If you think I'm too harsh or you don't like my opinions, feel free to block me I really don't mind.

#anon

[thedreadvampy]

Scuse me doing a vent

The situation is thus:

My partner's partner has recently ended a very messy and toxic relationship. both they and their ex were hot messes in the most unhelpfully complementary way and they sent each other into an increasingly toxic spiral - the ex was clingy, paranoid and overbearing and the partner's partner was frequently cold, unkind, belittling and downright nasty to and about them. they broke up and got back together over and over again even though it was incredibly clear that they were making each other miserable.

there was some moderate messiness around the breakup. before the breakup I had sat down with the ex (who I don't know outside this) and encouraged them to end the relationship and let it go instead of continually pressuring their partner to keep taking them back when it was making them both so unhappy. I was real mad about it too bc honestly while I totally understood the partner's reactions bc I too have very much dealt with the kind of emotional black hole of person-in-perpetual-crisis that the ex is, I thought they were being consistently really shitty to the ex and I told the ex that. the next day the ex broke up with the partner and there was a whole big 3 day drama I got sucked into about the partner trying to delete the ex from my life, which I was like OK MAN THAT'S NOT YOUR DECISION. we've since worked it out - emotions were high and I was triggered as fuck and all told it was a mess. but they did break up permanently. which is good.

fast forward a couple of months to last week. my partner and their partner have been organising an antitransphobia movement space for the last few months. the ex feels that they're being unfairly excluded from participating in that movement space.

the ex started messaging me last week asking if I wanted to get a coffee and catch up. the same day, I hear from my partner and from my best friend (who is very close to my partner and their partner) that they've been constantly talking about the breakup in the organising discord server, that it's escalating to accusations of abuse and maybe to demands that the partner be removed from the space, and that other people have started weighing in. both my friend and my partner are a wreck, particularly my friend cause this is like the 3rd time an organising group they've been in has come catastrophically apart at the seams when interpersonal drama ends up exploding into a bunch of triggering public litigation. my partner is trying to calm the situation down and act as a point of contact between the ex and their partner, but they were also already really annoyed with the ex for largely unrelated reasons AND they're worried about their partner spiraling out so they're struggling hard.

I'm worried about my friend and my partner, but I'm also not fucking in this conversation - I'm not on the discord, I don't think me weighing in would help anyone, and tbh my opinion on the original situation is: as far as I can tell neither of them were abusive in the sense of an unbalanced power situation; they were both pretty vile to each other throughout the relationship; it was a Bad Idea relationship that made both of them their worst selves; from out here it seems pretty clear that the best thing either of them could do for themselves is stay the fuck out of each other's way as much as possible, and I know that's easier said than done but the ex seems very actively opposed to even TRYING to not be in constant contact with the partner and that's a great way to erode any sympathy I have here, frankly.

anyway as I say I was quite happy to Not Be Involved

uhhhhh so the ex messaged me today to bitch about how my partner is being So Rude To Them in all this? we haven't like. spoken. other than them asking me if I wanted to catch up.

I blew up a bit tbh I was like hey man. I'm not fucking involved and I don't want to be but wild that you would open with complaining about my partner as if I'm likely to agree? also maybe idk consider that emotions are running high and given that you rightly expect that people will give you some grace for being Brain Problems and upset, maybe grant the same grace to other people?

they've just messaged me back actually post cancelled I'm not reading that goodnight

anyway I'm having a whole Second Hand Drama Time this week and I'm not going to let myself get dragged all the way back into it bc the last blowup when they broke up had me fucked up for like 2 weeks, it's very Ungood for me from a trauma perspective to get pulled into this specific flavour of drama

but also like. this is my confessional bit cause I know it's not a worthy thought. man I have sucked it up and played nice and removed myself from MULTIPLE spaces I wanted to be in to avoid starting shit with people who have behaved much more directly violently to me than the partner appears to have with the ex (mostly their crime, and as I say I fully agree that they were out of line, is being a bit of a dick to the ex, giving them the cold shoulder, and sometimes abruptly asking them to go home). and it's the same feeling I get whenever other people's interpersonal drama becomes this massive all-encompassing Thing I'm just like jesus fuck pull it together. suck it up and get out of the way of people who you know you can't be around. because at this point it just feels like you want to hurt them and don't mind hurting yourself in the process and I just do not have patience for that, especially when doing that is also throwing a massive spanner in the works of both a very urgent political organising space and a bunch of other people's fucking lives.

like I very much believe that we should take accusations of abuse seriously but I would say if I personally felt unsafe around someone what I wouldn't do is try to elbow my way into a group they just started and complain about not being let in. I would probably. go find a different organising space that wasn't run by someone I didn't want to be around. if I felt they were a danger to others I might talk to people in that group privately but like. why are you getting mad that you can't go to places the person you're beefing with is in? why are you mad that they won't answer your messages? why are you waiting for them to validate you? fucking hell man cut yourself loose.

#red said

[jerzwriter]

This isn’t related to OH, your pairings, choices or even fanfiction.

But I could really use an advice and I feel like you’re someone with a lot of experience in human relationships and I really admire your views about life. But feel free to ignore if this is too weird :) I totally get it.

We are a group of best friends for 10+ years. One of them has a bf, they have the most chaotic relationship, nothing "too big" but they have broken up and gotten back together a lot of times. 👈🏻Unrelated to those times...

One time he touched one of our friends inappropriately ( 👋🏻 on the 🍑 ) while dancing, “cause he was drunk”, after this happened they broke up but got back together and my friend (the gf) vowed to never force us to be around him then he cheated on her “cause he was drunk”, my friend didn’t tell us (shame I guess?) rinse and repeat (broke up then took him back). My other friends from the group and I were so disgusted by the first situation but suddenly they seemed to forget? Eventually they started to be friendly with him again, I just couldn’t. After the cheating, it was the same, some sort of “we hate him” until they didn’t. Now he’s asking us for help to propose to my friend. And they’re so excited. And I’m so confused.

Is this okay? Am I wrong for being so freaking perplexed by the situation? Like guys what are we doing how is this ok I just…

But at the same time I feel like I’m wrong? Because if the “offended” part is fine with it, shouldn’t we all be too? I mean he didn’t cheat on me. But the idea of helping him propose it’s not appealing at all. But I don’t want to miss this part of my bff’s life. And I don’t want to lose my friends by making a bigger deal out of it. They all have this view of "friends support each other" and if being with him is what she wants...

But also feel like “oh well, I guess if someone touched me like that against my will, I won’t count on you? Because it’s not a big deal to you?”. I hope I made sense, and this isn’t too much, I just don’t know what to do. My bf agrees with me and we don’t hang out with them when is all the couples. Just when it’s me seeing my friends. But I guess eventually I will have to?

Hey there. First, I want to say I wish I could give you a hug. It literally pained me to read this because I remember these situations when I was younger, I have the benefit of seeing how they turned out (SPOILER: NEVER good), and I am now seeing them happen with younger people in my family. I'm going to be honest, it's harder to watch it now because I want to shake them and say, "Can you not learn from this, this, and this?" But sadly, we don't always learn from other people's experiences.

I'd love others to chime in too. My opinion is just that, and it doesn't make it right. But after living and seeing a lot, I assure you, it's also not wrong.

I hate to see this. The other word for "touching a friend inappropriately" is sexual assault, and being drunk is no excuse. I've been drunk in my life. Most people I know have been. How many times have I assaulted someone? None. "Being drunk" is a classic excuse that abusers love to use. And here's a 411. If he can't handle his alcohol to that extent, then he should stop drinking. But to then cheat and once again blame it on the alcohol, sorry, this guy is a piece of shit, and I feel bad for your friend. She's about to sign on to a lifetime of pain.

What do friends do in these situations? It's such a hard thing to say, but I will always err on the side of trying to get through to them, knowing damn well it may backfire on me. But having grown up in a home where there was abuse and having worked with domestic violence survivors for years, I can honestly say we should never aid and abet someone trying to find a reason to stay with an abuser. Helping plan the proposal? Honestly, that's not aiding and abetting; that's celebrating and giving blessings to. I don't blame you for not wanting to be involved.

Knowing the little I do, I would tell you don't do anything your conscience is telling you not to do. Your other friends may see things differently, but I don't believe we "support" bad choices. If your friend had an addiction, would you "support" her? It's very possible this man is an addiction of sorts.

The sad part is, it is likely others will see you as the problem. But that doesn't mean they're right. If there is one lesson I wish I could have learned younger, it would be to do what I BELIEVE is the right thing and not be led by others because anytime I've gone against my gut, I've lived to regret it.

I really don't envy the position you're in. But I assure you, this will not end well for your friend - and I shudder to think they may bring children into it as well. Men like that don't change.

If you ever want to chat, my DMs are open, and I won't share your identity. I wish you the best in a difficult situation, and I will manifest for your friend to find clarity. ❤❤❤

#not choices #this is though #stay true to you

[avengerofyourheart]

Damn Anika, can’t people have an opinion? Can’t someone share that they don’t personally like y/n stories when tumblr is filled to the brim with them? I’m not op of that post, but your comment was salty as fuck. You also don’t seem to understand that it’s extremely difficult to filter out y/n fics, because everyone tags memes with x reader and y/n, so if you filter those, we lose half of our feed. Yeah whatever op tagged actors on their post. The real problem is everyone tagging x reader on unrelated memes/shitposts

(screenshots for context can be found at the bottom of this post for those confused)

Oh hey, Anon! Super brave of you to send this ask under the disguise of a grey orb with sunglasses. :)

Anywho. I sat on this ask for like 24 hours so I could give it a good think and properly respond. Also, I have a life.

Bottom line? I don't give a rat's ass if OP doesn't like reader inserts! They have every right to dislike something. They can have an opinion. I'm fine with that. And I DO understand that it's damn near impossible to filter out tags for "x reader" or "/reader" cause it's per character and tumblr barely recognizes tags, let alone partials. I'm not disputing that at all. I agree that everyone should properly tag and stop adding unrelated characters, actors, pairings, etc. So we're on the same page so far!

But yes, I'm salty about the OP tagging actors on an unrelated post that therefore dropped said post right on my doorstep aka my dashboard because I happen to be following one of said actors in the tags. Did I have to comment? No. I could have and should have just scrolled on, but I'm biased when it comes to reader inserts. Writing and reading them has been an amazing part of the past 6 years of my life and it's also how I've met several of my best friends online, many of whom I've now met in person. It's a great community. So yeah, I piped in. With my whole-ass username and actual face attached to the comment. Weird, right? Accountability is a wild concept.

Here's an analogy for you. Let's say that everyone's blogs are houses on a street. We all have our home base (dash) where we can choose what comes in (follow other blogs and tags) and speak whatever opinions we have in our own space (post whatever we want). I'm not gonna try to stop anyone from doing anything in their own house. Do your thing! Curate your space!

But. If I happened to be driving down the street (aka scrolling) and OP happens to be waving a sign (tag) with a subject I care about and yelling something, I might roll down my window to hear what they're saying and GASP...respond. I'm allowed to do that. OP and others don't get to get pissy about MY opinion that I wouldn't have needed to share if I never saw the post.

OP put their opinion in the public space by tagging nonsense and now, here I am. Tumblr does seem to be the space for reader inserts so, might I suggest that those who dislike them use AO3 or Wattpad where it's easier to filter? Especially if tumblr is "filled to the brim with them"? Just a suggestion. :)

So, now I'm gonna go back to reading and writing my silly little reader inserts cause I can and no longer think about this interaction.

Bye, Anon! :)

(Screenshots for context—)

#aoyh answers #i'm a salty bitch and i'm not sorry. :) #anika rambles #tag your shitty correctly #i'm sick of this nonsense #i'll stay out of it and block next time though #sheesh. #fandom wank

[zero-braincells-left]

hey i only read the post about once but i did get the general idea of it and i just wanted to drop by a little thing since you mentioned you wanted others opinions. i think you have the right to be upset by this especially since they're your friends and having those who you care about make an insensitive joke like that while also trying to defend it, really hurts

i've gone through this myself personally and it can get really upsetting in the moment when you're trying to defend your beliefs against those you care about, and even more if it's against more than one person

it can really feel isolating but its important to know that you have a reason to feel this way and all your beliefs are valid even if those you care about don't agree. your own thoughts and opinions matter, they are valid and they are important

its hard to verbalize your thoughts like that especially because you feel a sense of panic and discomfort trying to defend yourself as fast and as hard as possible. and when the conversation changes, it's easy to ignore it and then move on because it's already done. but this isn't a good way to handle it because you're ignoring your own feelings (which are important) and the core issue

in my case i took a deep breath, expressed how the situation made me feel and the discomfort that came from my opinions being disregarded immediately, and then said i was going away for a break in order to calm down and sort my thoughts out

my friends understood this and apologized for the way they treated me, then promised to try and listen next time, which they followed through with. (one of my friends asked me to explain a qpr a few months after instead of disregarding me)

healthy friendships hinge on proper communication and understanding, friends will listen to you when you communicate and then put into action how they can make it better. they value the way you feel and will stop whenever they do something that makes you uncomfortable, as long as you communicate it and give them the chance

if they waste that chance, then that's a whole nother thing to think about and reflect on, but hopefully they will take the chance and try to aid it (i also find it important to say that if your values and their values dont align, then its not a good fit. i'm happy to elaborate more on this if asked)

now about the actual argument, it was insensitive to joke about being gay for a week because it made being gay as less of an actual sexuality and more of a joke. they argued that a person can change their sexuality and that doesn't really have to do with the fact that they made the joke and they're straight. not to mention the fact that they used being gay in order to make you do something as if it was some kind of punishment. like oh no, i'll be gay for a week if you do this, how horrible and embarrassing. yk? that is pretty homophobic

anyways i'm really sorry if this was long and hard to read, this is usually how i am with stuff like this but those are my thoughts on the whole situation and you're free to take or to not take what i said. do let me know if anything i said made you uncomfortable or if it was too presumptuous, im always open to others pointing those things out and i would be grateful to know about that kind of stuff

you can choose whether or not to post this. i wish you the best of luck with your friends and hopefully you can end up with a situation that makes you happy. respect yourself and have a good day <3

ty <3

also dw I didn’t mind this being too long, I’m very thankful for the effort you put into writing this!

(Under this part also goes more into a rant! Woo!)

honestly I do agree with a lot of the points you made, and I did say in my original post that there are definitely things I could have done better.

the thing (unrelated to your post btw) that bothers me the most about this whole incident though, was the fact that I didn’t know why I was upset. i know that my opinions are valid, and I know that in the end of the day, we’re all just kids. my friends were raised differently, in less accepting households, unlike me. i believe one (or maybe both?) of them were raised with some sort or religion, and with strict parents, and I wasn’t. i was always taught that you can love whoever and identify however you want and that’s ok.

i know that they’re just oblivious and don’t understand as well as I do, so I didn’t feel like my opinions were invalidated during the argument.

but I just don’t get why I was so upset. I’m thinking maybe it’s because I didn’t win the argument? i often have trouble admitting I’m wrong, and I guess I might have been upset that I couldn’t get them to understand?

but at the same time, I was able to step back and acknowledge the fact that I mentioned earlier—they’re not intentionally trying to invalidate or upset me, they’re just uneducated and repeating back what they’re heard and what they’re learned during their lives and I don’t want to hold that against them.

honestly what I think bothered me so much was the fact that these are my friends. well, these are people that im not close with but are still kinda friends? and it’s not even that fact alone that bothers me. it’s the idea of friendship, friendships I’ve had, all the fucking arguments and misunderstandings and all the times my other “friends” have accidentally or purposely tried to make me feel worthless just so that they can be better, more correct, whatever the fuck. for the past 2 years I haven’t been able to make a friendship that could last, let alone one that was good for me. the best friends I’ve had, I got close with and then slowly and painfully fell out of touch with, or we just stopped talking.

then again, we have one prominent friendship I only officially stopped being friends with this year. he used my kindness against me and I felt like his fucking servant. and I couldn’t leave this friendship because I was his only “female” friend (he had joked rather insensitively about me being genderfluid, and everyone still calls me a she anyways because I look really feminine), and I was the only person he could talk to. and fuck, guess what, he’s got a shit ton of issues too. and then, I confronted him about this (in the message I sent, I was honestly such a fucking asshole. i said things that were probably a bit much, and ran with the assumption that he treated me like shit on purpose.

he responded, and was nice about it. he apologized and said that he had realized how it might seem like he was using me, and he didn’t mean to, and that he didn’t know how to change himself. at the end of the message, he said: “just know that, and I mean this, from the bottom of my heart- you are the best friend anyone could ask for. i just normally hang out with people that are dumb and stupid, I just want to be on good terms”

and that fucking broke me. I knew I should have listened to that voice in my head that knew he wouldn’t purposely do anything he did with malicious intent.

and after the incident we were a lot closer, but the next year (this year) we just stopped hanging out. we share one class, and right now he sits behind me and makes fun of me (again, not even in a malicious way. just completely empty and meaningless remarks that I just think are annoying.)

and I have so many more friendships that aren’t working, that feel one sided, unless they want something from me. and I think the argument reminded me that,, they’re all the same. i don’t have good friends. and it seems for every good friend and genuine friend I thought I had, there’s 3 more unhealthy friends I get too attached to.

That’s another problem, I get way too attached to people way too easily. i get too attached, but then can’t trust anyone, even my closest friends. because I’ve gotten myself in the mindset that everyone is going to abandon or mistreat me in the end.

but then I still tell people secrets?? and they keep them?? but i still don’t trust them.. huh. wtf.

ok. we got off topic there. holy shit that was a long rant. anyways, in short: I think the argument just reminded me that my friends are shitty. all my friends are shitty. it then got me thinking about all my other shitty friends, and that made me feel more shitty!

anyways, my way of calming down after this was kinda weird. step 1: cling to pillow and cry for no reason

step 2: friend (in the server argument happened in, he wasnt paying attention and didn’t even know what it’s about) is sitting alone in a vc, as always. i join and just sit there muted as he talks about whatever video game he’s playing. i did this because I wanted to feel like I wasn’t alone for a bit, and I think his voice is really soothing :)

step 3: try to think of happy things, but fail because I try to think of good friendships but every friendship I’ve had had so many problems that I’m now actively thinking about.

step 4: try to focus on friends voice instead for a little while and see if I can try to sleep

step 5: leave vc, stop checking tumblr every minute, turn off device, and lay back down.

step 6: try to think about happy things again, remember fictional characters exist (and laugh at past me for forgetting)

step 7: fall asleep

anyways for y’all who have read this whole thing, here are some nice images :)

#rant #again #tysm for listening to me dear online stranger! #you’re more supportive than all of my friends I’ve had! #oh wait. that’s not a good thing is it.

[procrastinatingsapphictrash]

I came back for you

Word count: 2123

Genre: Angst but happy end

Pairing: Natasha x gn!reader

Warnings: Abusive prison/government (let me know if I need to add any)

Request: Hey, so this is kind of a weird request, but could you do a Nattie x Powered! Reader during Civil War, where Nat, of course, is on Tony's team, and the Reader is trying to keep the peace between the two teams. Maybe the government takes (Y/n) and puts her in a shock collar like Wanda's because they think she was on Steve's team? Sorry this is so weird . . .

Summary: You are neutral in the fight, or so you think before you are told you can't be and are taken away with the rest of Cap's team.

A/n: Thanks @thewidowsghost for requesting this! Honestly I didn't plan on writing anything or posting anything today but I saw that I had a little bit of this done and to be honest my day has sucked so I needed a distraction and this worked perfectly. Also I could someone tell me how the formatting looks? I'm trying the new beta editor and I think I'm doing things right but idk. Anyways I hope you all enjoy!

As you take in the scene that surrounds you you can’t believe that you once considered everybody to be a big weird family. Certainly none of them are acting like it now. It breaks your heart to see them on opposite sides, throwing themselves at each other because apparently their personal beliefs are more important than their friends.

Neither of them are right or wrong in your opinion. There’s too many factors and both options suck, it’s the government’s fault for placing the team in this situation. However you are not happy with the way anyone is handling it, especially Steve, Tony and Natasha. Both Tony and Steve are acting based on what they think is right without considering the other sides to the story, although you can’t say that’s surprising coming from them. You do know that they genuinely do care for others but they can be very hard headed and neither of them like to be wrong.

It’s Natasha who you’re most disappointed in though, you thought that she would be a better negotiation, helping ease the tension but she’s out there fighting like the rest of the idiots. You thought that she would agree with you and try to bring together the two sides.

You narrow your eyes and zoom in your vision to the far side of the airport where you see Spiderman. You have no idea who he is but you can tell just by looking at him that he’s only a kid and it was irresponsible of everyone to let him be here and to fight him. You use your superspeed to get to him quickly and take him out of the way of flying cars and leave him by the side where it should be relatively safe.

“Stay here.” you tell him.

“But-”

You glare. “Stay here.”

You rush off before you can make sure he listens because you can hear a grunt of pain from Rhodney. He’s lying on the ground with Tony standing over him and Sam a few meters back. The fight seems to be ending now, you see the plane leaving and the rest of the avengers start to gather but it doesn’t matter because the damage is already done. You don’t know exactly what happened but it looks like a freak accident, somehow nobody’s fault and yet everybody’s fault for getting into this situation in the first place.

The mood is weird, as if everybody is holding their breath and taking in what they’ve done. In the background you can hear trucks pulling up and footsteps follow soon after. The first man grabs Wanda and she blasts him back lightly so he falls down. Immediately a circle forms around her, everyone pointing their guns. Clint takes a step in, raising his arms and trying to calm the situation down but the guns shift to him and one agent steps forward and roughly grabs him, forcing his wrists into cuffs.

They go for Sam next and he looks pissed but lets them cuff him without comment. Scott looks completely confused and out of his depth. You don’t know him but it’s obvious that he is not trained for these types of situations and is in over his head.

It’s Wanda that makes your heart break the most though. She’s like a little sister to you so seeing the tears in her eyes and the terror on her face as the agents move in to cuff her makes you want to wrap your arms around her and promise it will all be okay. But you can’t, that would be a lie because everything is not okay and trying to hug her would only make things worse.

The agents start to move away, leading Cap's team to their trucks to be taken away. One of them turns back and notices you, murmuring something to the agents beside them. Before you can even understand what is happening they are right back and grabbing at your arms roughly. Naturally you try to pull away but they are strong and once you realize what is happening you stop struggling.

“I didn’t pick a side,” you try to explain, “I was just trying to make sure everyone was okay.”

“You didn’t sign the accords and therefore have no right to be here.” one of the men tells you. You look towards Tony’s team for help but they all seem to be busy. Tony and Vision are trying to make sure Rhodney is okay and the kid is luckily back where you left him. T’challa is shaking hands with one of the agents and although it makes you sick because of the way they are treating some of the others you understand, he does have a country to run and his people must come first after all.

Natasha is the only one not doing anything and she meets your eyes. You silently beg her to do something, anything against what is happening. She stares you straight in the eye and shakes her head. You actually shiver at how cold her look is because you never thought that would be directed at you, you thought that the two of you were close.

“I’m not going to help you Y/n, you made your own choice and I made mine.” Is all she says before turning away. You watch her back as long as you can as you are led into the trucks, wondering how everything went wrong so quickly.

---

Nobody talks. You aren’t even sure if you’re allowed to. There is no way what they are doing is legal but who is going to argue with the government. A secret prison built just for enhanced individuals and imprisoning people without trial isn’t right. You were neutral before but the more you see of how the government operates the more you start to lean towards supporting Steve and the rest of his “team”.

You shift slightly because the shock collar is getting even more uncomfortable. Wanda is wearing one too, probably since the two of you are the only ones that have powers unrelated to technology and suits. She looks smaller than ever in her cell and you close your eyes because if you continue to look at her you know you’ll end up crying.

Nothing changes throughout the day until you hear the door creak open. Everyone glares when they see it’s Tony and he and Clint share a few words before Tony practically begs Sam for information. Sam’s reluctant but gives in, seeing that Tony is sincere and knowing that although he disagrees with Tony it’s not really his fault that you’re all here, it’s the government’s.

When Tony leaves things go silent again for a few hours. You haven’t been fed since you’ve gotten here, you realize, but you aren’t hungry anyways, your mind can’t stop picturing the fight, being arrested and most of all Natasha’s attitude towards you. It hurts even more than you would like to admit. You considered her your best friend but you also had feelings for her and you were dumb enough to think that just maybe she felt the same things about you. Obviously that is completely untrue and you wonder if even your friendship was a lie.

“How long do you think we’ll be stuck here for?” Wanda asks finally and although her voice is quiet you wince at how it breaks the silence.

“I don’t know kid.” Clint responds. “Too long. My wife is going to kill me and my kids-”

He stops himself, getting a little choked up which surprises you. You’ve never seen him this emotional before.

“I already miss my daughter.” Scott adds on and there is a moment of understanding that passes between the two of them.

“I don’t have my own family but I’m going to miss my sister.” Sam says. “She probably won’t even find out what’s happening until it’s on the news, if the news even covers it.”

“I miss the team.” you add. “Before this fight, we weren’t perfect but I considered everyone family.”

“So did I.” Wanda says and you all take a moment to miss what used to be.

“I miss pizza.” Sam jokes, trying to lighten the mood. It works and soon everyone is adding on ridiculous things they miss and things they want to do when you get out (you can’t even think about the fact that the “when” might actually be “if”).

Your eyes snap to the door when it opens and everyone shuts up immediately. You look warily at Natasha, unsure of why she’s here. Maybe the government sent her in to interrogate, god knows she is amazing at that and you honestly wouldn’t be able to not talk to her, as much as you’re mad at her right now.

She doesn’t speak, going straight towards Sam’s door and kneeling down, fiddling with the lock. After a few seconds it clicks and the door swings open.

“When did you switch sides?” He asks, raising his eyebrows, impressed.

“I don’t pick sides, I do what makes the most sense and right now breaking you out is the right thing to do. Besides I’m wanted now too, apparently the government doesn’t like it when you aid fugitives in escaping.” she responds smoothly, moving onto Wanda’s cell and repeating her actions until it opens.

“Do you know how to take the collar off?” she asks and Sam nods. He gets to work while Natasha moves on. Both Clint and Scott pass at her offer of freeing them. They both look like they’re itching to escape but you respect that they’re putting their families first.

You’re surprised by how emotional you get when she unlocks your cell. You thought she didn’t care about you so to have her here now is amazing and makes you feel bad you ever doubted that she would do the right thing.

“Y/n, it’s okay, I’ve got you.” she tells you as she undoes your shock collar carefully, doing her best to not hurt you.

“I-I thought you didn’t care about me anymore.” you admit, a single tear dripping down your face.

She wipes it away with her thumb. “Oh sweetheart I care about you so much, more than you could ever know and I want you to always remember that, promise me.”

You nod, sniffing. “I promise Tasha.”

“Good because I came back for you and I will always come back for you.” she says, leaning in closer. You look down at her lips as she continues to lean in because she is so close and it seems like she’s going to kiss you.

“Glad to know Y/n was the only reason you came back.” Sam says, smirking. You love him but you also want to strangle him right now, that bastard could totally see what was happening and ruined the moment on purpose.

Natasha flips him the finger but otherwise ignores him. “Steve and Bucky are waiting in the jet outside, I was able to dismantle alarms and cameras but we only have a few minutes left so follow me and be quiet.”

She grabs your hand as she moves out of your cell and you walk with her, the others trailing behind slightly. The halls are clear and it’s only a few turns before she ushers everyone into a vent. It’s a tight squeeze but you make it through and you pop out to find sturdy wires attached to the side of the raft coming from a nearby jet. Wanda and Sam each take one and their wires retract, pulling them into the jet. You gulp nervously, heights are definitely not one of your favourite things.

“We have to go Y/n.” Natasha whispers just as alarms start to sound, the noises loud with flashing lights.

You take a deep breath and grab the remaining wire and once you’re secure Natasha grabs it too. Closing your eyes tightly so you don’t look down you feel a strange whooshing sensation before it disappears and your feet touch down on the jet floor.

“So what next?” Sam asks once you’ve all collected yourselves, directing his question at Steve.

“We lie low and try to help as best we can.” he responds, sighing heavily. “We’ll figure out the details as we go, what matters is that everybody is safe.”

Natasha holds your hand again and squeezes it tightly. “And that we are together.” she whispers into your ear so only you hear.

You squeeze her hand tightly back. Your relationship with her has gone through a rollercoaster of a day and is mostly undefined but she’s right, all that matters is that you’re together now and you wouldn’t rather be with anyone else.

---

Taglist: @fayhar @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @acertainredhead @madamevirgo @megaqueenmaeve @cherryblossomskye @aaron-despair @chickenhavewisdom @emril-osvigne @nyankitty987 @agathaharkness-simp @thewidowsghost @nyx-aira @stephanieromanoff @satxnsupreme @likefirenrain @wlwlovesreading @stop-drop-and-drumroll @peggycarter-steverogers @casperlikej @redswing @mochamoff @king-star @blackbat2020

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow #black widow x reader #marvel fanfiction #x reader

[happysadyoyo]

I'm sorry, but I would like to add something to the system thing as a neurodivergent nonsystem who also has mental illness.

My autism is not a mental illness. My ADHD is a disability and honestly I experience it as a mental illness, but hesitate to use that label. My BPD is absolutely a mental illness, as is my OCD - while still being forms of neurodivergence.

I'm friends with systems online and (exfriends) with one in person - unrelated to them being a system. The in-person friend referred to it as a mental illness. The online ones vary. But the point is not to tell an entire community of people who live with a form or neurodivergence OR mental illness what it is or to define it yourself as a whole for them - even if you're in that community.

If an autistic person experiences their autism as a mental illness, I fully support them in that. That's their prerogative. But if an autistic or allistic person says autism IS a mental illness, full stop, that I have a mental illness based on my autism alone - no, no I don't, and also how dare you. Given that it's a spectrum, I don't even experience it as a disability, despite moderate challenges - it is also a strength in many ways for me. A mental illness doesn't have to be a bad thing - but the terms used to define the way your brain works do matter, and people have real reasons to be hurt and offended by other people choosing overarching labels for us.

This is a very nuanced opinion, and I agree with the majority.

However, DID has more in common with OCD, bipolar disorder, and BPD than it does autism and ADHD. So, for me and the medical professionals who do take DID seriously, at this point in time, it is a mental illness. It doesn't have to be cured and in fact I don't believe any mental illness can be cured at all. It does need to be treated, to be sure the system is safe, but that's true of any illness.

Any further asks about DID will be published, but I will not be making any further additions of my own because I have said what I'm comfortable with on the matter.

[julaibib]

As-salamu Alaykum brother,

A few days ago I have sensed a man had feelings for me, so I confronted him about it and he admitted that indeed it was true. I do not have feelings for him nor do I dislike him. After I confronted him he said he came to realize that he can't forget me, and proposed. The thing is, I have already rejected him. He proposed after that. He's 10 years older than me, and 10 years younger than my mother. I feel uncomfortable about that fact, and I know he's self conscious about his age as well. A friend of mine asked "why do you think he's still unmarried at his age?" insinuating stuff but I honestly got offended because I myself am not that young anymore and I've been single all my life, haven't been able to find the right partner and that's it. No particular reason, though maybe someone would says the same about me like "something must be wrong with her since she's still single past her 20s". To be clear, I do not agree with this kind of statement, either for myself or my sisters and brothers in Islam. We all have our own circumstances and I don't want to judge anyone based on their celibacy, it's just ridiculous. I do appreciate him as a person, but I never thought of him as a potential partner. I feel bad rejecting his sincerity. It happened a few times, I've been proposed to quite a lot and ended up rejecting them all. I pray istikrara ans trust my gut feelings, and until now I've never regreted it. All the pieces of the unsolved puzzle fit right whenever I trust my instincts. The fact that I'm asking for a third party's opinion must mean I'm confused so I wanted to sort my feelings out by writing it all down and having un unrelated person's opinion. By the way we communicated by sending each other letters, and I asked him not to send letters anymore because I don't want to engage in a sinful interaction with a man and he replied it would be his last letter unless I wish for things to get serious (=halal way, marriage). Anyway. I have no idea if you will kindly reply to this very long ask, even if you don't, may Allah bless you and reward you for the help you have given to us all who come to seek your advice etc. I know that whatever good that comes from you comes from Allah and I appreciate it, very much. Thank you for your patience with every ask you reply to.

,عليكم السلام

A very wrong thinking on those who delayed their marriage, you have a person with his own circumstances,Most of us over thirty are exposed to this stupid thinking

and my own opinion is that the difference of ten years is very appropriate and there is no problem at all, and perhaps it would be a better option, but everyone has the right to set standards that suit him in choosing his partner.

But as long as you do not feel comfortable and do not look at him as a future husband, I think that the matter is over and does not need you to think much, and it is better not to give the man more hope because it will be very difficult for him and it was a good decision to stop talking to him

[angeloncewas]

Okay, I won't look at what he said specifically because it's 3:30AM and I have better things to do with my time (like sleep, I probably should sleep) but since your anons sometimes give their opinions on the discourse, I wanted to give mine. Specially because hey it's about minorities I'm actually a part of this time.

Like the fat stuff, whatever he said I'm pretty sure me or someone on my family a hundred percent has heard worse, so I particularly don't care, it kinda sucks, but I never felt uncomfortable on his streams before, and all things considered (specially the fact that apparently it's kinda old stuff) he has done enough good things towards the community that I think I can afford to ignore this one bad thing, but I'm only one person so if you're hurt for what he said, I'm genuinely sorry.

And about the SH joke, I didn't look into it because the last thing I need is getting triggered when I'm sleep deprived, but if I cut off all people who've made SH jokes I'd mostly likely end up with no friends, for some people it's a way to cope, I dont know his past, and to pull a Ludwig, he's not my friend, I don't feel entitled enough to ask about my friends' trauma, imagine feeling entitled to the trauma of a cc, because of one joke.

But it's good to know what he did tho, for a second I thought it would be something a hundred times worse than what it was(tired brain will always assume the worst.), so I'm glad that it's something I can actually speak on, and not be that bothered about.

(Also on a completely unrelated note, do you do anon tags? I've sent like at least 5 anons today/yesterday, and I would like you to know when it's me lol)

You probably should sleep :< (/lh) Your opinion is always welcome though !

I agree with the fat stuff (as someone who has seen the comments). I'm just one person too, but it really feels like pointing at one tiny issue in the sea of his positive impact on the community and while that doesn't mean people have to ignore it, it does make it a bit... questionable? that people dug it up from the past to argue about it.

We're pulling Ludwigs all day today lol. You're very right though, I'm in a similar boat regarding SH jokes and honestly most people I know who did that turned out to have some level of personal experience with it. That's not always the case and there are jokes that are actively harmful, but in this case we (we as a fanbase, I mean, not you and I) are really edging on stripping away a person's privacy and theoretical coping mechanisms for our personal comfort. That's just not the way to go about things.

Whenever I find out that someone's "been cancelled," I always jump to the worst, so it is almost a relief to hear that it's not something super out there. Sleep deprivation is a bitch though, remember to try and take care of yourself best you can !!

(+ yes I do ! I just don't have many who identify themselves. If you give me a name/emoji/some kind of indicator, it'll be yours from then on :D)

#angel answers #anon #discourse #cc critical #negative #sh mention #fatphobia tw #long post #sorry if the tone of my answer is weird i am also tired

[jules-hoard-of-stuff]

Gonna talk about this because I think not many people are really getting the idea and I'm very tired so I'm gonna ramble about it

Fictional characters who are found family should not be shipped, in my opinion. It's pretty gross.

I've seen this happen time and again, AS SOMEONE WITH FRIENDS WHOM I CONSIDER FAMILY. Like. Close enough to be siblings and family. And let me tell you why it's not only not plausible, but also pretty damn gross. You don't have to agree with me. But I have a serious case to make because I'm tired of seeing it.

When you have a friend you consider family, considering a romantic relationship with said friend sounds like someone suggesting that you date your ACTUAL sibling or parent. It disgusts you, it feels gross to even consider because you have that *familial* bond in place.

I have a best friend who I mentor like a little brother. We act like brothers, as if we WERE related. His mom asks me how I'm doing. If anyone told us we would be a good couple(and they have), I've literally gagged at that idea because of the fact that he's my little brother! Maybe not by blood relation, but dude. That's. That's my brother. That's gross. I don't wanna think about that.

I've seen that carry over with many fictional counterparts as well. You wouldn't tell a character who has adopted another character as their metaphorical child to then DATE said familial bond. That would be disgusting. Because it's suggesting a LOT of subtext that 99% of people find GROSS AS HELL. So why does this happen a lot more often with found family siblings???

The main ships I see this with are Kiryu/Nishiki(who literally call each other brothers) and Saint-14/Osiris(Who have been cited in the canon as brothers unrelated by blood). And honestly as someone who has a found family brother in real actual life, it's pretty worrying and nauseating even to see people shipping these characters despite the OBVIOUS canon references that they consider each other brothers.

Like I said. You don't have to agree with me. But I would appreciate if I could stop seeing this kind of weird fuckery going on. This is a personal opinion but like

Quit being nasty please

#personal opinion #i have a feeling some ppl are gonna unfollow me but w/e #i cant stand this shit #vent