#its 6am and i cant fall back asleep

[thedisablednaturalist]

#chronic disability #chronic pain #chronic illness #spoonie #disability #its 6am and i cant fall back asleep #i see a lot of these polls but they never have pain relief in them #so i wanted to make one more specifically for those with chronic pain/illness

[freebooter4ever]

the little funky 1920s style animated plane in the corner! 🤣 anyway very cool jacket/jeans/hat combo, very suave

#malkin #its like 6am here why am i awake ;_; #at least its not 4am like the last two days i guess #i wake up and then cant fall back asleep :(

[sneezeshame]

// mess

someone whos spent days battling a horrible head cold, the wettest and heaviest they've had in years, but no matter what they do they just can't sneeze. they huff and snort and sniffle and blow their nose in loud burbles and start to hitch, and hitch, but it just never comes. they feel so full and uncomfortable no matter what they do, and when they come home from work that day they realize they're sick-sick with this thing, and all night its incessant. they keep trying to sneeze, their body is trying so hard to get all the gunk and virus out of their swollen passages, but they just cant. it's waking them up a couple times an hour and their head is pounding with pressure and they're so miserable they want to cry.

around 1am, their partner wakes up and turns the lamp on and offers to help, saying how terrible they sound, and they feel so sick that they agree. the next time they start to hitch, their partner takes two q-tips and slips them up their red, chapped nostrils, then rotates them both at the same time so they tickle every nose hair and chafe against every sore, swollen, cold-ridden membrane.

they sneeze once, but it stifles against the wall of snot. they try it again, and it stifles a second time, but their sniffles sound a little looser, like something is about to break. sure enough, on the third time, the sickie's red nose explodes, and it rockets violently up their sore throat and blasts their overswollen sinuses apart long enough to shoot out both qtips and two ropes of snot onto their partner's hand. before they can stop it, another sneeze causes a second eruption from their cold, this time both shooting snot everywhere and spraying it. a fourth and fifth sneeze disloges even more crammed into the swollen folds of their sinuses, and their face is pounding with the shaking force of it all. their poor nostrils flare again, and another rope of snot connects with their partner's neck and stays in a long string that ends back at their sick nose.

the sickie sniffles, dazed. "Oh doe, Ibb so sorry, uubbb--" then they sneeze again. and again. now the sneezing is incessant and wet and violent and a theme for the rest of the night.

at 6am the next morning when their alarm goes off, they moan and call in sick, then try to fall back asleep breathing through their mouth, clutching an icepack to their throbbing sinuses in the warm dark. their partner coaxes a thermometer in their mouth, and they struggle to breathe around it while its under their tounge, and it comes out with a warming temperature of 100.8. as their partner removes the thermometer, they sneeze again and again, exploding their cold all over their partner for the hundreth time that night, and then they sniffle and sink miserably back down into the pillows as they start to nurse their chills.

"I hobe I didn'd gibe you by code," they rasp. "this ode is really bad-- HETSCHOO! Guuhhh, SNNXT... I really dodd feel well ad all..." it was terrible when they couldn't sneeze at all, but now that they can, it feels like the cold really is in full swing. it feels like the virus has spent the night hitting their sinuses with a baseball bat.

their partner blames their tiredness on having spent half the night tending to the sickie, but the truth is that by the time they say that, their own throat is feeling a little sore, and they aren't sure they're feeling their best, either.

#snz #im feeling it today fellows....

[vaxxy-the-raven]

14 year old me deserved better

we shouldn't have been bullied, our parents shouldn't have emotionally neglected us, we shouldn't have been allowed free reign on the internet

i have irreversible trauma all because my parents didn't understand the difference between giving shelter & food to someone and real parenting

i felt abandoned and unloved and pushed away and hated

i felt utterly worthless to, and unwanted by, the very people who had fought to have me

my parents went through IVF to have me, you know, and yet my whole life I've never really felt loved or wanted by them

i ended up so alone and scared i fell into an older person's trap and was hurt in ways that i didn't understand back then

i felt so broken and discarded, like i truly had nothing left to give to anyone else

it really fucked me up

i understand how this all happened and it sickens me

i hate that some parents hate their children and hurt them internationally, i hate that some parents don't know love and therefore can't give it to their own children in the future

i hate that people refuse to accept that girls can be evil and predatory, i hate that we treat victims as criminals even if they "followed every rule"

its no wonder i gave up on my education in the end

its no wonder i stopped living

im stuck and I feel helpless

i was talking to people, I was getting help, I was making progress (and technically i still am but not in ways that truly help in the long run) but it got too overwhelming and i just fucking shut down again

i feel trapped in a body that doesn't belong to me

it never did and never will

i feel trapped in a cycle of anger and sadness and sickness and exhaustion

5 10 15 20 25 30

i feel so fucking stuck

so fucking done

i woke up at 6am today and i couldn't fall back asleep

i trued writing it off, literally by writing fanfiction, and I've refreshed tumblr and twitter so many times since I woke up that in kind of sick of them

its now 8am and I feel dead

but not energy wise

just emotionally unwound

I'll probably feel better after i have some water and talk to my boyfriend, knowing me

but i wanted to talk about how just fucked everything feels

i feel like a vase someone smashed into smithereens and that was put back together with paper mache and string

her name kills me almost every time I see or hear it now

i think i might hate myself less than her these days, honestly

she stole my innocence and my trust and my childish love

she robbed me of a colour, of a book series, of a movie, of a flower and of so much more

she probably doesn't even remember me anymore, if she's still alive after everything

i don't know what I'd prefer

5 10 15 20 25 30

would i rather she got help and found love and happiness?

would i rather the opposite?

i feel too tired to care

she's not the last, nor am i certain she was truly the first

but she ruined me in ways nobody else could dream to

she left a sickness in my veins that i cant get rid of

its almost become lovely

i would miss it if it were gone

the hate is ugly and hisses, but i take comfort in its heat

maybe i am broken, maybe she broke me, maybe

i woke up today with terrible thoughts of things i dont want to do to myself or to others

thats fucked up

i can't remember if i was always like this or if she did this

maybe its both

5 10 15 20 25 30

all i know is that im tired

i want to stop hurting

i want to stop being scared

i want to stop being angry

i want to stop being sad

i want to stop being so tired

i just want to live and love

i love people, i do

i hate feeling such strong hatred that im not so sure is even really my own

i just want to be happy

i feel sick

#im safe #i just need to vent #already calling my boyfriend #please don't worry #just brain busy must yell #cw whatever the fuck this is #how do i tag this shit #triggering content #is this the ocd or the trauma? is it both? (: #vent #aaaaaaaaaa #cw child neglect #cw intrusive thoughts #cw grooming #i guess??? feels wrong to me but i think?? #im so fucking tired #will probably delete later

[morwap]

YESS ITS NATURAL!!

USUALLY I SLEEP AT LEAST TILL 6am

IDK WHAT WRONG WITH ME🫠

THAT WOULD PISS ME OFF SO MUCH 😭 AND LIKE ARE YOU TIRED AND CANT FALL BACK ASLEEP OR SUM?

#🥀

[blackvail22]

9/24/23 — 1:10am

theres a lot that happened within the past two days its insane. on the 22nd, i had to train this new associate for the whole day. he's rlly nice, and he's fun to talk to. he caught on really quick! im excited to work with him

also, that same day, i got back with my ex!!! it could be a dumb decision (because this is the 3rd time) but i really want things to work out. again, no one is going to know besides you... and... my coworkers, but thats different

the coworker that gave me his number, he gave me a note at work that says "im awkward so i dont know how to say this out loud, but i like you" and then taped a soda tab on it (it was the "hug" meaning one, which... i dont like but could be worse). so! ive told the new associate i have a boyfriend. im going to tell them i have a boyfriend, but im telling those im closest to at work that its because i dont want my worker to hit on me anymore

if he keeps going after that, i have to report him. im not letting someone get away with that, not this time.

i have to start standing up for myself... im just scared because of that teenager who got killed because she rejected her (adult) co-worker, im afraid its going to be me. this is the reason i dont like hearing abt death.

on another note, back to abt my boyfriend....

im writing this as soon as i ended the call with him. i miss him already. i wonder how and why my brain changes how i react to things because of a label. i feel so clingy. i want to talk to him more. he does make me happy, and i hope i make him happy too

oh, i also bought this candle... its supposed to "smell like london" and it says the scent is "afternoon biscuits and tea" so thats nice. i bought it to think of you, nd its nice that the color of the candle matches my room

oh last thing ! i took my permit drivers test and i passed it! feels so surreal because i never thought i was ever gonna end up driving but here we are lol

anyways i like this song

6:06am —

dude i couldnt fall asleep until like 4:30am and my mom woke me up at 5:30, screaming at me to find something i didnt have!!! i found it! and it was in her bag, a place she didnt look (because she only looked one place!!!!!!) at least i can sleep now, but idek if i can do that because i feel awake now. im going to sob. FUVKKK I HAVE A HEADACHE AND SINUS PAIN NOW IM GOING TO CRY DUDE. and the fact that she walked up the stairs to scream at me (she never walks up the stairs)???? ooo. im so mad bro! like im going to wake up whenever i have my alarms set and im going to punch a wall because i cant sleep without getting interrupted. IM PISSED TF OFF NOW bevause i havent had adequate sleep since my last off day (a week ago) and i dont have a lot of sleep for tomorrow because i have to wake up at 6am for an appointment thats 2hrs away. sure, ill sleep in the car, but with my mom? she wont let it happen. and i dont have another off day untl thursday, and i cant sleep in for that one either becahse i have another goddamn appointment in the morning. like, is this what being an adult is? being harrassed by coworkers, never having enough sleep, never able to fall asleep.... it cant be cause those all haopened when i was a teenager too. stuck in that cycle, though, and i cant wait for that cycle to finally end.

bad things always tend to happen to me. is it because i bring bad energy? AHHHHHHH i just need to scream cry

i am going to try to sleep now. I've rambled on for way too long

11:17pm

been incredibly sad today. i think it was my lack of sleep, or maybe it was my mom yelling at me and waking me up. still, my heart feels so ... heavy. i cant help but feel bad for people who love me. if i was them, i would choose anyone else to love endlessly. im undeserving of it all, anyway. i dont feel happy tonight. i hope tomorrow's better. i dont know what changed and made me feel this way because when i woke up and went to work, everything was fine until half way through my shift. it didnt really effect me, but them saying "oh, fun's over.. [my name]'s in a bad mood again.. everyone get away" keeps playing in my mind. it didnt affect me then, so i dont know why i keep thinking about it

i just want to fit on my roof and look at the moon, but its been rising really early so i dont think ill be able to see it now. ill watch some livestreams from space of the earth/the moon instead. something to comfort me while listening to music. i havent been able to watch any videos all the way through recently.. havent even been able to watch those gaming streams i like. hopefully ill feel better before i go to sleep

#Spotify

[thelightsmiles]

wedesday morning

he's still asleep. i wasnt gonna get up yet. i was gonna sleep in on my weekend, like i always tell myself im gonna do bc i hate getting up early. its only 8am, and im glad im not waking up at 10 or something. i couldnt get his keyboard to work. he has this whole setup now, and i love it bc im totally gonna write more. im totally gonna make more art now.

we got a desk for the room. it reminds me of my old desk, at the house with all the memories. that was my little studio. i have so many memories in that desk. so many dark moments, too. but i like to look back at those years, i love to imagine myself back there, but i cant. its like i know i cant go back, but i just wish there was some way i could grasp it just enough to get those emotions i used to feel, to somehow be that person again for just a half of a second.

id like to think id be satisfied with half a second, but id probably hold on too tight if i found a way to do that, and never let go.

i had this little square of wood. im not sure what youd call it, what i used it for. it was my special block though, and i miss it. i miss how i used to create. so genuine and so easily. not always, but i let myself back then. i havnt let myself create like that in years.

its kinda funny, when i was 14 or 15 i would write these stories about how one day i got out of there, i escaped that stupid little town, i left and i never looked back, i created the life i wanted. in most of them, though, i just met someone and they saved me. they took me far away and i loved them forever. in most of them, if im being honest, tj came back.

he came back just like i fantasized about every night for months and then years. i dont remember when i fell out of love with him. it was longer than a year. i waited all that year, knowing he was gone but i couldnt handle it. i think i sent him an email once, and he probably didnt even log into his account, its probably sitting in there still.

id look at these pictures i had of him, and id think about how i could see us together in the future. i always thought about how hed be such an amazing dad. i wrote so many letters to him, i never sent them. i couldnt even give him that note id worked so hard on the day he left.

it took a really really long time for me to heal from that boy. and now that i dont idolize him, i cant imagine ever falling for someone that way again. i dont know how i could have, i didnt even know him. i think he was just the only boy whod ever given me some sort of hope that i wasnt unlikable.

so i did need that. i needed to learn all those lessons that taught me. i needed all those moments from that time period that ill never be able to remember.

all i know is i miss my childhood so much it hurts. id give almost anything to go back, and im not supposed to say that, bc i thought id let go of it ages ago, for the last time. i thought id accepted it was over and decided to finally live for that girl i used to be.

its kinda funny how all the little parts of our lives flow together so nicely when you look back, despite how incredibly different we were, how differnt the times were.

im still not sure when my depression was at its worst. there was one fall-summer that i wasnt there. i didnt exist. i dont remember myself.

id wake up at like 5pm and go out, id walk to the library and grab a random book, id go take my walk and sit by the water or stand on the bridge looking out at it. it was always so cold, but i dont remember being cold. i just remember the street lights, the snow, the music, the pain.

id get home and start reading, and then it would be 6am and id have finished that book, and i went to bed and cried myself to sleep, and then it would happen all over again.

#my writing #journal #spilled thoughts #thoughts #tw #childhood #words

[bisexual-joseph-joestar]

.

#i got like 4 total hours of sleep throughout the past three days #and i finally crashed and got like 6 hours #but now its 6am and i cant fall back asleep #kai posting on instagram woke me up 🥲

[deaddovecoterie]

- 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓻𝓮𝓰𝓰𝓲𝓮 𝓹𝓮𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓼 -

fandom: julie and the phantoms

rating: like K-T

pairing: reggie peters x reader

a/n: a series of miscellaneous headcanons about our best boy reggie :') heres your birthday gift you beautiful mf <3 @whoseblogsthis BUT SERIOUSLY HAPPY BIRTHDAY BITCH

this man is so forgetful, like he would lose his head if it wasn’t connected to him, but he always remembers really random and specific dates like your half birthday, national girlfriends day, national cuddle up day, etc. he always remembers to make small little efforts like that to remind you of how special you are to him

he never liked the corny cliche things that people do for valentine’s day so instead of giving you flowers or something like that, he takes you to block buster to get the most obscure, awful looking movies and you guys watch them all and judge them/make commentary as if you’re movie critics while snuggled up on the couch

reggie loves to be the little spoon :’)

on your first date, he was so nervous to the point where he was shaking the whole time.

this man is so scared of thunder storms, like he absolutely detests them. the loud noises, unnecessary bright flashes? not for him. so every time there’s a storm, you and him make a blanket fort and play video games

you two dressed up as ghosts for halloween and went trick or treating together even though you’re both “too old” to. his reasoning was “it’s free candy and no ones even gonna know??? we have blankets on our heads??” and that was a pretty solid argument

he definitely would facetime you at 3am just to tell you that they found one of your socks that you left at his house

this man has a stash of twinkies hidden somewhere, i just know it

okay so think of 2am drives to get icecream? yeah, that, but hot chocolate at 5am to watch the sunrise together

on early Saturday mornings he would drive to your house with lucky charms and sugary cereals so you guys could watch old cartoons together :')

he's someone who would remember all the little things about you, like why you want to travel to a certain place, your favourite set of sheets to have on your bed, etc

he leaves you random voicemails when he thinks of something

like

"hey baby, its like 6am and I know you're asleep but I just saw a picture I took of you the other day in my camera roll and I just wanted to remind you of how pretty you are. okay bye, love you"

cute shit like that

concerts. every singer that comes to town? you're going. does it matter if either of you knows who it is? no, but you're going anyway. he just loves the loud music and the cheering crowds and having you and him live in the moment jumping up and down with the rest of the people

will most definitely tuck you in if you fall asleep on the couch. he'll take a blanket and tuck it up around your neck so you don't get cold

in the summertime, you guys will go star gazing on the roof of his house, like he'll go all out too, blankets snacks and everything. he'll name off like the only two constellations that he knows (orion "cause he has a cool belt y'know" and Cassiopeia "cause the name's funky")

after naming off those two he'll start making up random ones and giving unbelievably in-depth, tragic backstories to which you cant help but laugh at

hes definitely into astrology and is always rambling on about if your signs are compatible-

"baby my horoscope said I should stay away from aries people this month- oh my god wait no-"

he'll get super worked up about it too and you'll be like "luv I'm sure you'll survive"

very cuddly !!

will hug you from behind at any given moment

a firm believer in generous amounts of kisses on the cheek throughout the day

WHEN YOUR HANDS ARE INTERTWINED HE'LL SWING THEM BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU WHEN YOURE WALKING

takes pictures of you when you aren't looking so he can go back and see them when you have to leave

sways back and forth on the spot when you guys hug

will interrupt you overthinking with lil kisses

jam sessions but make it him teaching you a few chords on his guitar with his hands over yours guiding you :')

and that's it <3

#reggie peters #dating reggie peters #jatp #julie and the phantoms #julie and the himbos #reggie jatp #reggie peters headcanon #jatp headcanons #hq headcanons #writing #ky tag #y/n x reggie peters #reggie peters x y/n #reggie peters imagine #reggie peters x reader #original post

[musubiki]

I read your tags on that one ask and can I just.... could you please tell us more about the fantasy arranged marriage AU...? 🥺💖

AA YEAH IM GONNA TALK ABT IT A LIL CUZ I THINK ABOUT IT A LOT FOR THE SOFT DOMESTIC CONTENT 🥺💗

- its set in the inuyasha/princess mononoke type of world where supernatural/monsters are just normal and society has different infrastructure to deal with it

- mochi (because shes a magical girl in almost every au she cannot change this) is like the healer/magic lady/potion maker for their small-medium sized village in the middle of the mountains. her family is known for their potent magic abilities

- lime is part of a prestigious family his grandfather was someone great, like a military general or something, high honor. he works for the monster control/missionary guild centered in the town. theyre fairly to very famous and are very efficient. 

- they were friends as lil kids. just used to run around the village and play with sticks and shit. lime left the village around age 8 to go train for the guild somewhere far off. he worked for a few different guilds but didnt come back to work for the one in the village until he was 18-19

- also i was too lazy to designs outfits and shit but i always see limes guild uniform as like the dread fighter from fire emblem awakening and mochi as the shrine maiden from fates

- as soon as he came back, his family is like “oh good!! we arranged you a marriage to carry on the family name!!! we need a heir!!” and hes like “WHAT?!”

- he was super pissed. because its been like 2 days since hes been back and his family is already throwing this on him, and he has little power to fight them on it. 

- hes just sitting outside on the porch watching the rain all mad and depressed cuz 1) hes not ready to get married, and 2) he wouldve wanted to marry someone he loved but hey, cant do anything about it now. the ceremony is like, tomorrow.

- anyway hes waiting at the ceremony the next day, still mad, nervous, just hoping they picked him someone whose at least cute or something and not some old lady

- its mochi. all dressed in the ceremony dress + makeup. and it takes his mind a moment to register that its her. he recognizes her, but he almost cant believe its ACTUALLY her because she. looks so beautiful. and grown up.

- and the minute she sees HIM shes in shock because she didnt even know he was back. and they cant speak to (and can barely look at) each other because of the ceremony ritual hoo ha

- #nervous

-  next thing they know their families are shoving them into their new house thats all set up for them, complete with only one bed, with a “Go make us some heirs!” or sometHING LIKE THAT AND THEYRE BOTH SHAKEN LIKE PLS STOP

- its so awkward. they touch accidentally and jump to opposite sides of the room. theyre able to talk a little small talk but it wont hold up. mochi says something like “I didnt know you were back-” and lime, an awkward, just says “yeah i am” “i know”

- lime is nice about the whole marriage thing though. he was mad at first but now that his wife is someone he (kinda) knows and shes actually really sweet and pretty hes like ok i can handle this i think

- i think i talked about it in that old post but mochi is 10000% not ready to have sex with him yet. shes so shaky and nervous about it, but she wants to be a good wife and not disappoint him so she tries to force herself to be okay with it

- but he can kinda tell she doesnt want to. hes nice about it. he just tells her they dont have to do that now, it can wait, lets just take it slow for now and lie to our families about it. (and that was the first instance of her starting to fall for him right off the bat)

- ANYWAY THE AU IS JUST THEM BEING AWKWARD AND CUTE AND DOMESTIC!!!!! theyre forced intimate relationship at first turns more into friendship of camaraderie of “our families just forced us into this but neither of us are ready or willing to do this yet so lets just be roomates and operate like that”

- so they do!!! lime buys another bed so they dont have to share one. he cant cook so half the nights mochi cooks and the other half they eat out. they split the house chores and just come home and gossip about their days pretty much and slowly become more comfortable with each other. 

- and then they actually start falling in love with each other. little things like lime grabbing high stuff off shelves for her when they clean the house, or when lime comes home all busted up from work and mochi takes some time to wrap his injuries, falling asleep together outside watching the fireflies in the summer, laughing over dumb shit over dinner

- lime has to leave super early at like 6am sometimes. he always goes to mochi while shes sleeping, softly nudges her a little bit to let her know hes leaving and she gives him a cute smile and a sleepy “have a good day!”

- soft nudges turn into soft forehead kisses and petting of hair locks. she starts falling asleep in his bed and he sleeps 10000x better with her in his arms. 

-(anyway its just 90% lots of cute domestic shit. maybe some drama of regional district lord sulluvan trying to steal her for her magic abilities. stupid domestic adventures)

#arranged marriage au #text #the misc adventures of mochi and lime #tcwg #bpp #bullet point post #ill add more later but i gtg to bed now #i think abt this a lot #the softness... #let them cuddle

[crowsent]

the man hasnt even started the stream yet and his chat is spammin “technolate” truly the best and most supportive fans

amazing

=

i have to make my own fences like a loser

=

“tommy is this your credit card? let me read the numbers aloud tommy”

=

“they keep dying on my thorns”

then fucking remove your armour mr technoblade??????????? you have the option to remove your armour

i know you have trust issues and that the last time you removed your armour tommy tried to kill you but like

you can remove your armour, find someplace else for your zombie villagers to be in, and then put the armour back on

you have options mr blade

you can make unenchanted armour for the purposes of moving your damn zomvillagers out the way if you really dont wanna be armourless

you have the materials

you have the opportunities

fucking seize them

=

mr blade: “my sleep schedule is terrible”

my dumb ass, waking up at 10pm on a monday after falling asleep on a 6am the same monday, after not sleeping for 2 days on sunday and saturday: “damn right your sleep schedule is terrible”

i have good self-awareness

=

mr blade: “im not stalling”

proceeds to stall:

• “happy new year! i forgot that happened”

• reads donations

• begins to try and cure his zombie villagers

• makes fun of skeppys “clickbait” title (it is clickbait by the way. the video is not structured like an actual manhunt vid. totally not a technosimp but techno was a fantastic hunter in the skeppy v techno manhunt. yep. techno was v fair about the entire thing go watch it if you havent hes great and skeppy was also there /lh)

• talks about chess

• talks about the Gifted Child™ Syndrome without ever saying the words Gifted Child™ Syndrome

• DONT DISRESPECT CHESS

(hes a fucking athena kid. im fucking TELLING YALL HES AN ATHENA KID and if i have to fucking write a goddamn academically cited paper to prove it with actual fucking receipts i goddamn will)

• even when tommy came on stream, techno immediately proceeded to discuss the Kings Fianchetto opening

• “i dont know what kind of science textbooks youve been reading, but youve spent too much money on them. those are trash. those are TRASH”

exactly mr blade. exactly. see? athena kid. hes smart. he went to college. he knows the score. mmmhmmm. yup. checks out mr. blade

• types “You’re talking sounds” -tommyinnit (genius)

• into the mc chat

• “Tommy, you’re talking words, but the only universal language: is sounds”

IF SBI NON CANON WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS READ AS AN OLDER BRO MAKING FUN OF HIS YOUNGER BRO EXPLAIN MR BLADE

Techno fucking lists out languages that do not have sounds like: sign language, written language, braille

and then fucking thomathy “tommyinnit” minecraft hits us with “and russian”

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST FOLKS

RUSSIAN IS A CATEGORY OF NON-SOUND LANGUAGE

=

and for a good few minutes, mr blade and associate tommyinnit talk about crimes and the fbi and using it to farm views. big brain moved here today

(and then tommys alexa turned blue when he said fbi and then they both freaked out it was great)

=

new york-ian

=

mr blade and tommyinnit just IMMEDIATELY trying to pander to new yorkers once they realise the population size. they out here fucking complimenting the statue of liberty (even tho its in new jersey), the empire state building, the bronx, queens, fucking SPIDERMAN

if they arent brothers

why they have this energy

=

prime to tommyinnit

sub to technoblade

yall

my heart

i love these two terrorists so much

(for legal reasons, i am obligated to say that they are video game terrorists please and thank you)

=

tommy, about music he wanna sing: its from nintendo

mr blade: nintendo copyrights EVERYTHING tommy they got like SUPER COPYRIGHT

tommy: well, technoblade, every last one of my videos uses nintendo music

mr blade: DUDE YOURE GOING TO DIE. nintendo will KILL you

=

“new york is not canon in the dream smp universe”

mr technoblade over here just fucking ruining every new yorkers day huh

yall hear that? new york is non canon

=

you want cock to join the revolution

=

tommy out here trying to be intimidating but hes stuttering, knocking himself off of things...

its great

its great

i love their dynamic

=

im spawning the wither, somebody get me my sword

techno “one-liner” blade ladies and gentlemen

=

techno using the wither to vandalise lmanberg is very poggers of him

amazing mr blade

=

tommy is such a delight in this stream

“i dont know this man”

“why would you bring this near me im WEAK im FRAIL im LIKE AN OLD LADY”

thank you mr innit

=

if i had gotten this stream live yall bet your asses i would be chanting “blood for the blood god” with chat

chat is BLOODTHIRSTY

chat is feral

chat is amazing

thank you chat for being the chaotic fucking bastards yall always are

=

“lookit muh muscles. BITCH”

tommy

i love him

=

so last stream, techno and tommy waterboarded a hostage who died by a spider immediately after he was released

THIS stream, techno and tommy waterboard an orphan fox until he cries

good times

=

fundy drowned

ha

canon?

=

wait

i just remembered

FUNDY GOT DROWNED BY HIS UNCLES

TOMMY AND TECHNO ARE FUNDYS UNCLES BRUHHHHHHH

these two fuckers legit said “what if i waterboard my nephew to the point where he drowns”

=

i find it really funny that techno is the one fanon portrays to be this remorseless out of control entity when the entire time during the fundy waterboard torture, techno is the one holding tommy back and saying that hes going to far

and last time, techno is the one chiding philza when philza just casually murders and slaughters his way around the map

bruh

techno has more of a moral compass than fandom gives him credit for

where is my "techno is actually the moral compass of the sbi” fanfic

=

the only dirt we have on dream is his dirt shack amiright? eyyyy hes homeless

techno

techno

so funny

=

“useless, annoying, loud, british. you know. the worst combination” techno says

then he fucking makes tommy weapons, gives tommy the helmet, makes tommy weapons and tools and armour...

yeah. 

=

“i will not rest until that entire country has been completely obliterated for what it did to me and phil, tommy”

ME AND PHIL

ME AND PHIL

technoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

bruhhhh

mr blade please

=

LMANBURG IS MY UNFINISHED SYMPHONY

tommy what the fuck

what the fuck

tommy

tommy

what wait tahgjkjxbglsjbnouafsfv

WAT

=

“you could actually be, dare i say it, a friend” TECHNO

TECHNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BRUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

=

“technoblade ill join you”

ANTARCTIC ANARCHIST COMMUNE POG

YES BITCH

YES BITCH

SBI

SBI

SBI

SBI

SBI

=

“this bodes poorly for the eventual sbi meetup”

shut up

shut the fuck up

i cant handle this

i can handle the dream sapnap meetup conspiracy

but i CANNOT handle the sbi meetup conspiracy

techno please shut up

i cant

dont do me dirty like this man

=

you know how tommy keeps saying that hes weak and shit but like

he fought in wars

he has fucking armour, weapons, potions, gapples

he can hold his own in a fight

do

do you think tommy keeps calling himself weak bc DREAM calls him weak? like. his self-confidence and belief in his abilities is just eroded by dream so tommy thinks hes weak even if he isnt?

=

“we have sand at home”

at home

at home

at HOME

bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

techno literally out here singlehandedly giving me serotonin

=

beak on

=

bless you

=

one of us

one of us

one of us

one of us

one of us

one of us

#salt liveblogs

[viktorhargreves]

I'm on the insomnia train too. I go back to the office for the first time tomorrow since my two week Christmas/new year break. For the last 2 weeks I've basically been going to sleep at 3/4am and waking up at 11am....I told myself I'd get an early night tonight so my 6am wake up isn't quite so devastating... But here we are at 1:30 am and I'm wide awake...

go to bed !!!!!!!!!! ((i know its never that easy to just fall asleep and sometimes i get so irritated that i cant sleep it makes me cry)) but yeah i hope your day goes smoothly and you can transition back to “normal” people sleeping hours same as me,, also be safe back in the office !! sending you good vibes :))

#Anonymous

[revol-lover]

gotta vent.

so we live in an apartment, well a two family home but the same thing. We live on second floor. for the past 3/4 years the people who lived below us were the people who owned the house and they were really nice, we were all as considerate of each other and whatnot and we had literally no problems. not a single one. well last fall they bought their retirement home, a single family. so they rented the first floor out to new people who moved in in february. literally they have caused issues since almost the beginning. theyre super loud and inconsiderate with their music but we figured, like we’re not going to be here forever (or much longer hopefully) so we just dealt with it. until we started hearing them mock our child. ok. thats frustrating. but what can we do. we dealt with it. julia does wake up at 6am most days which is early, but we do our best and pretty much successfully keep the noise level down in the morning by letting her watch cartoons and what not. the girl who lives down ther works but the guy is home all day playing video games in the back room, blasts his games, swears and bangs his feet on the ground all damn day. its fucking annoying. but we dealt with it. because again. we’re hoping to move soon.

then the day before last night they were super loud. starting as soon as we put julia to bed (which they know exactly when that is because i’ve heard them mocking me singing you are my sunshine to her. really mature fucking assholes) they started stomping their feet, banging furniture, yelling and screaming noises and shit all night until literally 11 pm when they went to bed (their bedroom under ours) and were talking loud and laughing. opening draws and closing them. i had an anxiety attack that lasted literally hours and didnt fall asleep until after midnight.

then LAST night was the fucking worst. it started with music at 5:30 pm. ok cant complain about that. it wasn't late. then they had friends over. who were yelling and screaming. then the music got louder. stomping. yelling. banging on table. literally the music was so loud our floor was vibrating. completely inappropriate. this went on at max volume until 9:30 when i finally had enough. kevin was frustrated and loudly said something about them being fucking animals. so they started howling. great. they were very clearly extremely drunk or high by the way they sounded so we didnt feel comfortable even confronting them (they were being so fucking immature that i dont how anything would have come of it). 

so at 930 i texted our landord. i didnt know what else i was supposed to do. i let her know whats going on. she asked me if i thought they were doing it “purposefully” i mean? yes? tf? anyway she said they would come over and talk to them. an entire hour passes. they dont show up. music/screaming/banging gets louder and louder. meanwhile julia has woken up numerous times through this, clearly isnt able to stay asleep with the noise and vibration of the music. so an hour after i texted my landlord. their music stops and it sounds like the girl is on the phone. suddenly shes got the phony professional serious voice and says something about they stopped at 930 (not true). hung up. music back immediately along with screaming profanities and banging shit. this went on until 11 pm. landlord never followed up with me and i figured well shit they waited an entire hour to even call them not show up like they said they would, clearly they dont fucking care. 11pm came, their friends left, screaming in the hallway before they did then they were silent. i was so riled up on anxiety i got literally like no sleep last night before julia of course woke up at 5:40am because she had a horrible nights sleep.

this just fucking sucks. 

like why. i dont get it. are they seriously trying to retaliate for us having a KID? a 2 year old? who is stuck in the house for way more than she used to be since the quarantine shit? like she’s honestly not even that loud. yes she sings. yes she dances around and runs back and forth sometimes but like i’m sorry shes a fucking kid. how sick do you  have to be to try to punish a little girl for being a damn little girl? and its not anything else because kevin and i do not make noise. we never play our music or tv loud. we have always been considerate. i just cant believe that there are people like this out there that are this fucking immature.  and you know if you have a problem with a kid being a kid then idk maybe knock on our door and talk to us? see if theres ANYTHING we can do? dont just be an asshole and intentionally try to ruin her sleep at night. like i have never been a violent person in my life but these people make me so unbelievably angry with how cruel they are being. like yes it would bother me if it was just me and kevin dealing with this. but a 2 year old? theyre trying to bother a 2 yr old? like seriously?

anyway. if you have any spare good vibes to give i’d really appreciate them. im literally terrified to go to our laundry in the basement because i dont want to face these fucking assholes. i dont feel safe here anymore. 

we have some potential moving options MAYBE coming up. so if you have any good vibes at all i’d really appreciate it. i just want my kid to have her own space so she can be a kid without this bullshit.

[anxiousauthor89]

Head First

Angry, confused, and bitter Trinity grew hate for the man that left her with this seed. She tried to get rid of it 4 months ago, thinking life would be back to normal. She would work out a lil bit, lose the weight and go slap Shawn back to his senses. But it didn't happen that way. In fact, she had met a new man. Long dreds, shining gold teeth, tattoos everywhere, and gave her more dope then she can handle. When they first met she got fucked up at a party. Trying to forget about Shawn. Trying to self abort the baby. The internet said drinking and partying can terminate pregnancy. But this baby was worse than the roach that wouldn't die. So when she met Junior, at the party and realized he was actually an enemy of Shawns, she decided to spill the beans on how grimey he is. See, back in the day Shawn fucked Juniors ol lady. She had twins. And he never got over it. He was always down to hurt Shawn in some sort of way if he could. But Shawn was not to be played with. You really got to catch him sleeping. And he never sleeps. Knowing how careful she had to be to get Shawn back, she told Junior he got her friend pregnant, and she wants to fight her to make Shawn mad. "Nah man." Junior said. "That's dumb. One thing he care about is his kids. Give her this sack." he said as he threw it at her. "If she still pregnant and he know about it that mean he gon let her have it. But give her this sack and I bet she wont birth shit. Dat nigga gon boo hoo cry booyyy I cant wait to see his ass hurtin ol puss ass." he grinned. She had never done drugs. But this could end it all. And get revenge on Shawn. "This shit aint gon have me, I just need to get this situated and im off this shit." she told herself as she smoked the dope in her car. The high hit her so hard she passed out and woke up to Junior knocking on her window. "AYE! TAKE YO DRUNK ASS HOME MAN ITS 6AM!" Lowkey ashamed she got it together and rolled the window down. "My bad man. Aye I think I lost that sack gimme one more man my bad that Ciroc is on me." Junior knew the look that high gave people. He had gained a customer. He smirked and said "Mhm here. I'll fuck witcha." He walked away rapping to himself, knowing she would be back. And just like clock work, she was. Every other day. She couldn't help herself. It felt like the perfect escape. Before she knew it the end of the year was approaching. By this time shes almost 9 months along, and made a fool of herself every time she attempted to talk to Shawn. The holidays were approaching, so she decided to spend some time with the only people who would love her, even when she didn't love herself.  "You know I be missing you why you only come when its food?" her daddy pinched her cheek. She laughed and kissed his bald head. He adored her. A preacher that could make hell shake but would cry when they got whoopins. He had a heart of pure gold. "Make sure you wash your hands and change your shirt before you help with this food. Why you got on them big ol clothes anyway I thought you were out of that tomboy stage...?" her mother teased. She had always been a chubby girl that could rock boy clothes and still be cute. Trying not to do anything that signaled her dishonesty she replied "mama you know I like TLC this how Lisa Left Eye dresses." laughing and doing a twist of her hips. "Mhm. Ya look more like Lisa Left & Lost It but okay. Yall think im dumb." she mumbled. That was it. Mama knew. And she knew mama knew. But aint no way she was gon admit it. Not around the other family members anyway. She and her sister Melodie were close and they always had been. She began to worry about how she would react knowing there is a whole baby being hidden. They told each other everything. But this one Trinity had to deal with on her own. She was determined not to say a word. She hadn't even gone to the doctor the entire pregnancy. She had a plan. All she had to do is wait it out. The time was near. She felt it in the pressure her lower belly was experiencing. The sharp pains in her back. It was close. And she was ready. She tried to quickly walk away so mama wouldn't see the shame on her face, but Uncle Leroy caught it. "She pregnant! And out of wedlock at that! Told yall she should have came to that shut in service we woulda been praying that lust demon right on out of her!" he blurted out. Overwhelmed with rage and embarrassment from his statement putting her on blast she shouted back "SHUT UP! THIS WHY I DONT COME WHEN YALL ARE HERE! MIND YO BUSINESS! AINT YOU ON WIFE NUMBER 3? YOU ALWAYS BEING JUDGEMENTAL AND RUNNING YO MOUTH! I CANT STA.." "HUSH GIRL!" Mama interrupted. She knew how Trinity felt about some of the family. And she understood. But disrespect she could not condone. "Go sit on my bed baby. Rest ya nerve, hea?" she softly spoke before she kissed her forehead. Already too embarrassed she picked up her purse and walked out. "Where you going? Its Thanksgiving you not gon stay?" her mom yelled from the screen door with her hands on her hips. "No mama im sorry. Happy Thanksgiving. Tell Melodie I love her." she said trying not to cry. Putting the car in reverse she thought about her plan one more time, reminding herself that she has every reason to follow through. She drove 4 hours back to the apartment she shared with a friend and laid down. She felt so uncomfortable. But tried to fall asleep anyway. Thinking she had to pee, she jumped up heading to the bathroom. "EEEW What the fuck why cant I hold my pee?!!" The liquid was running out of her faster than her feet could run to the toilet. Finally she got in the bathroom, slipping on the wet spots she was making with her trail. She sat on the toilet breathing hard, dizzy, and feeling like she had to take the biggest shit. "I aint had cheese in months I know im not constipated, this shit hurts what the fuck?" Within her next breath a contraction hit, and she became aware of what was happening. Eyes growing big and knees starting to shake, she wiped as much of the liquid as she could. She ran to her closet and pulled out her dirty clothes bin. Behind it was her bag, packed with an extra change of clothes for her after she delivered. She put the bag in the passenger seat and drove to the hospital. She sat in the parking lot for a few minutes, trying to get her mind right before going in. "Lets go Trinity. You got the plan figured out." She thought to herself. Taking one more deep breath as the contraction passed, she got out and walked into the emergency department. A blue eyed blonde haired lady grabbed her hand and said " I know that look you're in labor. Come on I just cleaned out this room. We need to take vitals and get you hooked up on a monitor. How ya feeling?" Starting to wobble from all the pain Trinity mumbled "Im fine." In reality she was far from fine. It felt like the baby was right on the verge of coming out. "Ms. I have a question." She stammered. "When I have this baby how long will it take to get parents to pick it up? You can give me the papers now & by the time it comes out a mama and daddy should be here right?" she almost smilied thinking this was the perfect solution. That was her plan. Just give it to somebody. Its always commercials about people wanting kids. It was a no brainer. Laughter snapped her out of her happy place she had briefly found. "No honey. Bless your heart. That takes time. You should have began that process when you found out about the baby." she continued laughing. "Unless theres a case of accidental death, looks like you're stuck with this one! My assistant will check on you soon, then we will see about managing your pain with an epidural. Sit tight." she closed the door. Hearing those words took Trinity from panic to desperation. Now she had no idea what to do. She played it cool until the nurse walked out. "Ok think bitch THINK!" she said out loud as she leaned back on the bed. "This slow hoe saying accidental death what the hell lady?! Be for real! That's not an option." she smacked her teeth. A pain hit her belly and she put her hand down on her butt. "What the...am I shitting on myself?! OUUUCCHHHH! OH MY GOD AAAH!" She laid back and reached further down and realized....that's hair...The baby was there. And it was coming out. "Oooooh ssshhhiiiit. Ooooooh shhiittt! Shit! Ssshhiiiit!  Ok. Chill Trin." She laid quiet, thinking of a new plan. "Knock, Knoooock" A nurse came in. " Just making sure you doing ok. We cant have you pushing out the baby alone we want both of you to make it okay sweetie? I will be back soon." The smiling nurse walked back out. "We want both of you to make it." Those words were ringing in Trinity's head like monkeys with symbols. "I got it." she said. She put her phone in her purse and put her bible in the bottom of it. She couldn't look at it knowing what she was about to do. She looked around the room once more, and laid down. Spreading her legs open she held on to each side of the bed, shut her eyes tight and began to push. She heard what sounded like water balloons hitting the floor. Growing fearful that her time was ticking and the nurses would catch her, she bit down on the sheet and let out a scream while pushing her absolute hardest. Feeling like her heart would explode, and her whole body shaking, finally she felt the release. The baby was out. And falling to the floor. Head First.