#its not even time for me to wake up

[deadlynigh-t]

I hate nightmares so fucking much.

#its not even time for me to wake up #that was absolutely awful #i fell right back asleep #i dont remember posting this #was pretty shit though

[ghastlyaffairs]

for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)

#hs #homestuck #dirk strider #eye strain #probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!! #anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags #so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse #and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol #also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold #though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk #speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least #the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an #and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you #imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting #and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive #uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember #and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags #do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would -> #wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts #beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it #also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa #sigh poor thing #this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm #also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week #(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag. #and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!) #update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic #this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah

[puppyeared]

man

#maybe im being pessimistic abt this. im not saying u should wear a mask every waking moment of your life god knows i cant #but also. hell no i dont trust u if anything i distrust u ppl even more after how things played out for the past 3 years #like there are situations where it might be inevitable catching covid. most of my family members are nurses and in constant contact #but there are also a ton of ways to make that risk low as possible like masking and wearing a face shield and having sanitizer #for me its not enough to just say oh we're in a small group and we're all vaccinated #motherfucker your kid is sick from preschool EVERY TIME WE VISIT. of course ill be wearing a mask she gave me covid last year #also no the fuck it isnt seasonal the cases go up because lack of caution makes the virus spread and mutate especially around times when #ppl gather. add that with virus transmission in cold weather and its a matter of different factors increasing the risk of spread #im also tired of ppl not understanding that i wont be their responsibility if i do get sick. maybe they can help me recover #but at the end of the day the risk of death and long term health is all on me. i cant change that #the govt barely gives me accommodations what makes u think theyll do anything for every individual case of long covid or worse #im so tired. im so tired #i dont even know if its possible to want this to be over anymore i just wish we didnt have to deal with this in the first place #ALSO COUGH INTO YOUR SLEEVE SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS SO HARD TO REMEMBER #oh its just a cold/dry throat its not like i have covid or anything. no!! its basic hygiene!!! how is this so hard to understand!!!!!!!!!! #and no this isnt abt whether people have the means to protect themselves this is me bitching abt my relatives not taking me seriously #vent #my art #myart #doodles #covid 19

[ollylotl]

a dream of home

#be warned i felt like yapping in the notes and by god thats what i did #i loooove making messy drawings like this actually. i love colouring and making finished pieces but #i only have the patience to do it every so often. clean lines and detailed colours are <3 but they cause me psychic damage #so its nice to just be able to sketch and only clean it up a little and then go fuck it. colours time #i did not want to make vyncents mum blonde even tho thats what they say in canon. theres no way. it just doesnt feel like it fits #i tried to make her hair a pale purple turning to blonde-ish at the ends instead but the lighting just completely washed that out lol #my artwork #jrwi vyncent #jrwi #jrwi vyncent sol #jrwi anna #jrwi anna sol #anyway. bizly bizly channel. condi condifiction. *slides you a twenty dollar note* PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE #tell us more about fauna and vyncents childhood #im on the floor sobbing and begging #i need lore not thats not just haha rpg as much as i love those bits #tell me everything. #jrwi prime defenders #jrwi pd #jrwi fanart #vyncent sol #jrwi fauna #jrwi pd fanart #pd fanart #prime defenders #prime defenders fanart #i fear i may hate this drawing upon waking up #but as the old saying goes #fuck it we ball

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Was thinking about your au and realized that whichever neighbour wakes up last is in for a very awkward reunion

Imagine waking up to your entire neighbourhood being in an apocalyptic scenario, and you’re the last to find out about it-

technically the last neighbor is Sally BUT Julie is the last "normal-sleeping" neighbor to wake and yeah! she sure has a hell of a time! i mean tbh it's kinda her And Barnaby? they wake up within a week of each other (the neighbors wake via Pacific Rim kaiju rules) so their breakdowns overlap <3

#julie wakes up just in time for the situation to Start Deteriorating At A Rapid Pace #like 'welcome back julie! frank is very close to dying the neighborhood is quite literally beginning to crumble' #'tensions are very high and everyone is starting to lose it <3 also your memories and siblings and life and world was a lie <3 good luck!' #she and barnaby have it the worst smh #well. kinda the worst #cause sally wakes up to an (arguably) Even Worse Scenario and also tons of guilt etc etc #sally: oh so its my fault my friends are injured and/or dying/dead. cool. im going to cope with this so gracefully (lie) #(side note: the death(s) are Not her fault. they were going to happen no matter what) #(well. i say no matter what. they'd have been prevented if the lights had been turned back on but we all know that wasnt really an option) #rambles from the bog #wh lights out au #and julie does not really get time to adjust... #shit is already going down #but only a week or so after she wakes up Shit. Goes. Down. #the transition into act two occurs and thats a whooooole enchilada in of itself #and trust me a week is Not enough to adjust! #especially when frank passes out halfway through and then never wakes back up smhhhhh #julie: at least i have frank! right frank? frank? frank- #julie: .... #julie: at least i have eddie! and wally! #julie: wh- whats that? mhm. mhm. oh. really? oh... #julie: at least i have eddie!

[horrorshow]

"when did destiel sex happen for the first time?" i love that i'm living so far in my own obscure deluded doomed by the narrative canon-compliant version of surprisingly wholesome but tragic destiel that the only right answer isn't even an option on polls: stanford era.

#deancas #it's like. #you're in a car with an ugly old angel and he looks at you like he has loved and known you for years but you just met #and he wont tell you that he's hiding something from you but he's hiding something from you #and he reaches over and you let him hit bc you're lonely and he's saying all the things you wish your father told you #like he discovered a belief in a future where you'll have eye crinkles and your brother at your side and a home with your own bedroom #and you feel your heart taking root in your body until one day you wake up with a headache and no memory of him or the past 2 months at ALL #and you never have time to wonder about it bc its october 2005 and you have 327 episodes of horrors ahead of you #and they all happen exactly like they do on screen. destiel was real but it was also dead before the story even started #(other than that they only had sex in purgatory which dean came to regret bc it made him realize he's not into cas like that #and he had only invited him to his benny fuckfest bc they're friends and it seemed rude not to) #and dean never ever learns that they once were lovers. and for cas there's nothing to remember bc it hasnt happened to him yet #its beautiful. to me. #also slightly embarrassing for me as a person but nevermind that

[zebratimw]

#svsss #scum villains self saving system #shang qinghua #how I be feeling these days ahdnfjgkg #I keep stressing about life in general and its seriously bumming me out hajdjg #how nice it would be to not exist #everyday I wake up and do the same things I hate #time hasn't felt real in years and it goes way before covid times #I haven't felt real in most of those years either #Look I'm lucky I'm not like depressed or whatever but frankly this derealization shit is seriously startin to get a little worrying at times #tbf I only really notice it recently so maybe its just a bias #I've been chugging along this way for years all thats changed is my perception of it #but at the same time I really want to do more too #I get I'm a very boring and unreliable person #and I know I just said its my perception of it but like I do genuinely think my social skills my general living just like me mentally ig #I'm kinda deteriorating in my stagnation ig? artistically too but more worrying in my life idbfjg #priorities sorry anyways I also think I do have adhd or something and that rejection thing dhfjgjg I really can't start things anymore #idk I really just feel so clueless in most things now and I'm too scared or too confused or both to start fixing things #like how do I even fix things? what do I even search for in this kind of thing? #Idk I'm just gonna go sleep ig god I'm so tired of everything #I haven't been able to draw I've really lost passion for a lot of things again and everything irritates me #I can't stand my phone sometimes but it's kinda the only thing getting me through it all ha #ngl I wish I were depressed sometimes if only so I'd actually have the balls to do smth but Ik that's just the Metnally Ail part speaking so #chug chug going along #I also have to make wushi before I die. haha #god my life is so empty #what am I even doing #I'm really so tired why can't my life end here already? modern lifespans are too long how am I supposed to keep going on like this? #so pointless and vapid and its just me ? why did it have to be me that was born? couldn't someone else have been here I hate it here so much #I strive for nothing but I have such a long life and so many people to disappoint haha maybe I should go outside more

[pokimoko]

I have had it with these motherfucking spam bots on this motherfucking site.

#personal #tumblr stuff #vent post #spam bots #i've been getting like 1000 spam bot followers a day for the last few days and blocking them all is getting--dare i say--TEDIOUS #wake up. block 300 bots. go to work. come home and block 500 more bots. spend evening checking tumblr to block bots. it's becoming a chore #it's starting to feel like I offended the tumblr gods or something. this is ridiculous. but like hell will i let them win #i won't let my follower count be 50% bots. i feel like a deserve a tumblr badge or something for fending off so many bots. #tribble #the trouble with tribbles #a very apt metaphor i think for these bloody spam bots; block one and five more come to take its place #but upside: the spam bots are helping me compile a Rosetta Stone for the word 'Untitled'. woo #also if you just joined tumblr and want to follow me: for the love of god personalise your bloody blog #i don't care if you have a icon or a summary. if your blog and likes are empty i'm blocking you #because i don't trust empty blogs and i really don't have the time to sort out who's real or not right now #(though if the blog's offering free mp3s 'just click the link!' or is advertising US keto gold coast gummies i know for sure it ain't real) #but hey! good news to people who followed me in the last four days who haven't been blocked; you passed the blog captcha test #anyway just had to get this frustration out of my system; gonna go block some more bots now i guess. i'll be very happy when this stops

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Zeb Wells I'm in your walls because what the actual fuck is this shit???

Because it definitely isn't something Spiderman whose gone out of his way to visit fans dying of cancer or other medical conditions or tried to save a homeless girl who was a fan of him only to be too late, would say.

#zeb wells #spiderman #the amazing spiderman #like not only is this an insult to the kid who collects spiderman #but its also one to an issue where spiderman is with another kid with lekumia #as hes playing spiderman with the kid as it was the kids wish #but when playtime is over and the hospital and parents say its time to go to bed #the kid refuses and spiderman learns its because the kid is afraid he wont wake up #causing spiderman to ask if the kid has a coat and we see why as he takes the kid for a swing across the city #giving the kid more time of being like spiderman #then there's the time he visited a wounded kid in hospital who is also a spidey fan and looked up to spiderman #and said kid figures out his identity and the two talk before sadly the kid has a caradiac rest and peter goes to his funeral #where his parents ask peter to give the kids home-made comics to spiderman and peter promises #let alone the comic leah where he finds a homeless girl also a fan dying and does try to save her via getting her to the hospital #but its sadly too late as the doctors cant do anything #meaning all spiderman can do is lift his mask a little and give her a forehead kiss #and wish her sweet dreams as we see her in dreams with all the heroes she admires #like long tags here but thats how much this 'joke' angers me #let alone even if you removed all of peters history WHY THE HELL IS THIS A 'JOKE' SOMEONE LET PASS- #no character should be doing that wtf

[kayvsworld]

the whole Sequence of tony realizing that like,,,, even though he’s shut down his company’s weapons manufacturing division, the people who hurt him are still actively receiving and using weapons, made by his company, to hurt other people, right now in this moment—and going, “ok! the system is corrupt and no one is going to do anything to help these people because the Harm Is Easy And Profitable and it’s all bad, it’s all still bad, fine! ok! fine! ok! fine i’m going to personally fly to this physical village and fight a goddamn tank MYSELF”

DIRECT FUCKING ACTION 

#he made the weapons he will be destroying them by hand. no further questions at this time thank you <3 #kayvswords #i just love. what iron man the first has to say about redemption and responsibility #that you can do wrong without thinking about it and Wake Up and see the harm you've done clearly for the first time #and the answer to the helplessness of ''where do i even BEGIN to start fixing this'' is just. here. wherever you are. start now start here #GOOD MOVIE GOOD FILM IM HAVING A PHENOMENAL TIME #im like halfway through its been so many hours. please help me

[puppyeared]

ive made myself more wet and pathetic

#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL #its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed #because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH #how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would #be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing #or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late #i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed #the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either #because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember #the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either #the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with #crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure #BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION #im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real #really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and #thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT #you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without #making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY #yapping #doodles #puppysona #edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule #and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened

[deoidesign]

Melatonin is a delicate balancing act, it took some time to find a dose that helped me fall and stay asleep without leaving me groggy after 8/10 hours. For me, that has been 10 mg gradually increased to such over a few weeks then steady since.

I also take roughly a week without it every month or two, as the bottle recommends. Listen to your body and do what you can. Good luck, and thank you for the sweet gay were/pire comic<3

Yeah, I can tell my sweet zone is somewhere between 3 and 6 mg, at least right now. Or at least I think it is. Admittedly my sleep has been absolutely horrible since I was a kid so my standards on "not tired" are pretty low, so I'm not actually sure if they're any good right now. All I know is I'm getting more than 2 hours of sleep at a time, and I'm not spending every waking moment fighting off a nap!

Thanks for the confirmation I've gotta test with it and go off and on and such, my doc didn't give me a straight answer on that (he just kept saying take it as needed... I need it every night!!!). 75% of the time being good is way better than 0% so I'll take what I can get!

And the gay comics are the least I can do 🧡 thank you for reading it!

#my boyfriend actually commented unprompted that ive been complaining less about being tired all the time..m #like dont get me wrong. im still tired #but it has been a WORLD of a difference. #like. its been every day since i was like 14 that just. all day i could fall right back asleep #and every night i wake up every. other. hour. #ive never really been able to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time #so ive never gotten uhm. good sleep before. #and ive had to stay in bed 14. 16. 20 hours to even feel like i can GET UP!!!! #super bad hahaha #but I'll take a week of that every month or so over every day #im just glad ive found a dose and combo thats workint for me cause ive tried melatonin before and it didnt help #but that was qlso before i used those nose strips. which also help me a lot? #so i think the combo is important #and i wouldn't be shocked if in 5 years i learn of another secret sleeping ingredient #anyways. maybe i can line up the bad sleep week off melatonin with the other week that sucks every month auajjddjdjejdj #see how it goes lol #oh ive also been taking other vitamins which have also been helping #so that combo leaves me with some actual waking time that im not fighting off a nap #this is why I've been posting more recently btw lol #asks #jackedupjack

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Wait!! In an earlier post you said everyone was aggressive… especially Barnaby…

What happened when he woke up? Unless it’s a spoiler/ not ready yet, then forget this question!!

I hope you have a nice day/night though :3

that answer is indeed Not Ready Yet! but in short, he has a Really bad time after he wakes up. like, it's Rough rough for him. and before anyone asks - no, it's not because of the arm! that is something he can understand, even if its a lil unsettling. everything Else, however...

#yeah barnaby wakes up pretty much exactly before everything goes wayyyyyy downhill #and aggressive more like... well hm... #he's very sad and angry (mostly at himself) and scared #and that all blends together into him becoming somewhat high-strung and Overprotective #basically i take the laidback comic relief character. i put him in a blender. i hit puree #barn had his relaxation time. now he gets to have a bad time! #i do it out of a place of deep fondness and affection i swear #wh lights out au #but yeah haha barnaby. yeah he Goes The Fuck Through It #he has some big emotions! he makes some big mistakes! he lives through some Tough Shit! #hey! at least he has howdy's continuous support #unless. unless i decide that something has to happen to everyone's favorite caterpillar. #i mean... if he has to go then he has to go!! #but at present i think howdy is essentially safe <3 maybe <3 #everyone is at risk until Final Decisions are made <3 #like there are exactly Two characters who like. absolutely fucking die lmfao no question about it #and there's another who's on verryyyyyyy thin ice. Very thin. its cracking. #but everyone else? somewhat safe. unless i think of something / something Occurs to me #you have a nice day/night/evening/morning/afternoon as well!

[dreambones]

I woke up motivated and hyped and now I am depressed, either I got a very long bad luck streak or there's something wrong with my work, it can't be statistically possible for me to fail time after time after time.

I was trying to find some trending audio on Instagram to test if that helps and I'm finding kids half my age who draw literal stick figures but have 8k followers.

I should work but I just want to lay down, something has to work at some point but it really doesn't.

There's no way the algorithm hates me this much in every single website I've tried and have constantly uploaded content for the past 16 years. Starting to believe I'm just that bad and my work is simply unappealing and that just keeps growing.

#tw: vent #its really not getting better #and please dont say “just do draw because you like it and don't worry about engagement” #this is my job #drawing and creating is what helps me wake up in the morning #I would have given up already if it wasnt #I really cant hit the target not even once #thank you for the 5 people that like my work #I wish I knew what Im doing wrong so I could try fix it #I feel I've tried everything through the years and nothing has worked #new accounts with 10k and I cant even make it to 1k after all this time in any social media I have

[lesbiangiratina]

Im honestly not too invested in testament and johnny as a ship beyond their canon dynamic im simply not the shippiest guy on earth but i get so pissed off when people dont understand Why theyre shipped. Its a little bit funny. Cuz now you just dont know shit about testament. And so i hate. You

#like if you dont even know theyre friends you dont know enough about testament SORRY! #let alone the impact johnny has had on their life like genuinely #he does a lot to get them to stop isolating themself. theyre friends they hang out. #do you know how big of a step it was for testament to Hang Out with someone. do you even FUCKING care……… TCH #XX ​DRAMA CD SIDE BLACK DIZZY’S LETTER! listen to it. #I NEED TO ADD that cd to the story section of their wiki page #so people can know about it. without having to seek out a fuckinf drama cd. #its just really good and it sets up their recovery really well. and i LIKE IT #for real once saw someone on twitter say like. have they ever even interacted? #tell me youve barely consumed any pre strive testament content without telling me youve barely consumed any pre strive testament content. #‘have they ever even interacted’…… yeah man in this thing called Guilty Gear check it out some time #this is day 4 of me waking up too early and using that time to think about testament Badly. #the kat goes meow

[skillzissue]

God damnit I hate it here- the ONE time I try to fall asleep ON PURPOSE to get at least SIX HOURS of sleep and do EVERYTHING RIGHT RO SCHOOL TMR, I turn on my sleepy playlist and around two hours of light ‘napping’ I hear a huge THUD and suddenly my phone is just. Gone.

Where is it, you might ask? Behind the bed, ofc-BUT get this. It’s not behind the bed where I call just reach down and grab it from the side where I’m at. After listening to the sound I discover that it is behind the head board.

The fucking head board. How did it fail there??? I DONT KNOW. 😭😭🙏

But since my sleepy time playlist is still playing and I’m rlly tired, I end up just falling asleep for a couple hours but then suddenly, for no reason at all, I JOLT awake in a PANIC.

Like my eyes fly open and I’m suddenly just. WIDE awake. As if I never fell asleep in the first place. Cue me trying to get my phone out from it being WEDGED between the head board and wall for a fucking hour 💀

I ended up having to grab one of my drum sticks, taping a piece of card stock paper to the end of it and putting a bunch of tape on the end of that.

Yes I walked around my house like a bird looking for things for its nests.

No bc seriously it was a long, long hour of trial and error using the most random household objects you can imagine 💀AND I had to try to be quiet bc guess what??

MY SISTER SHARES MY ROOM. so not only was I trying to do this quickly as possible, but as QUIET as possible and it literally was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced 💀🙏

Now it’s 5 am, I’m not tired despite at ALL (but I know I will be bc it’s not the insomnia type of awake but the adrenaline type) I have school in less than 3 hours, and I’m debating wether I should go back to bed or do my homework or AAAAHDHDJ THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE ANYTHING NICE 😭🙏

#WHYYYY #PLEASE ISTG IM GONNA BE SO TIRED IN THE MORNING #😭😭🙏 #ITS NOT EVEN MY DAULT THIS TIMEE #I MEAN AT LEAST I HAVE MY OHONE NOW IG #TBH IF I DIDNT GET IT AFTER WAKING UP LIKE THAT THEN I WOULD HAVE BEEN HELLA LATE TO SCHOOL #BC MY ALARM WAS ALR SET #I WOULDVE WOKEN UP WITH NO WAY TO SHUT IT OFF 💀💀 #THIS WAS DOOMED FROM THE BEGINNING ISTG #AAAAAAAAAAAAJFHDHDUDHSJSJSJAW #CRYING SOBBING IM GONNA TRY TO GET SOME MORE SLEEP I THUNK #GOODNIGHT SORRY FOR THE RANDOM RAMBLE BUT TBH ITS PRETTY ON BRAND OF ME AT THIS POINT #GOOD NIGHT GOODNIGHT GOODNIGHT! 🫶 #skillzwontshutupmoment #txt post #blah blah ramblings