#its only been since 2020 (that ive Known) and its been insane

[flamingo--ing]

all the alters want something different for us. it feels hard being pulled in so many directions, and it sometimes is upsetting that i feel like i cant just Be Casper. do i even want to be Casper rn? im with my beloveds so i Should be Doc, but were both one and the same?

#this is my text post tag #DID has been very. difficult to navigate #its only been since 2020 (that ive Known) and its been insane #these people have always been here. some are brand new

[youngster-monster]

I KNOW THAT THE DISCORD WIPS ARE A TRAVESTY BUT PRIOR TO THAT THE LAST TIME I OPENED A GOOGLE DOC WAS IN LIKE 2018 TO MAKE AN OC SHEET THAT AMOUNTED TO 100 WORDS AT THE VERY MOST!!!! I DID NOT REALIZE GOOGLE DOCS WAS EVEN AN OPTION I JUST USED IT FOR MY BAD CHARACTER SHEETS

also i cant in good conscience act like the discord wips were ancient history... it is with Shame that i kneel before your askbox and admit that it was in 2020 until like late 2021... after that i realized i could use google docs and now i swear on my life that my fics are organized i SWEAR

ive been hibernating since february (last fic completed let alone worked on Properly) so i am more skeletal than rotted at this point but surely . surely it will come back to me and i will go crazy again

LITERALLY IT IS SO DIFFICULT INTRODUCING CHARACTERS i tried to write oc content recently and it went so bad that i couldnt even stomach the idea of it anymore it is so DIFFICULT but fanfic? fanfic is so much Simpler in my brain. in terms of work i mean because at the point that im writing fanfic about something ive already gone so deep into the lore that i could name 8 niche quest npcs and their full backstory + all of my headcanons in the form of 300 very lengthy discord messages

oh my god. sorry but midway through this ask i just remembered that i still have something of a discord wip channel in use right now, but its not for full works and it IS for snippets. sometimes i have these little ideas in my head but theyre not good enough for a full fic so i just jot em down in a discord channel for (hopefully) later use.... the discord wips will never die

real talk? what you said about any finished work being an accomplishment makes me feel alot better about how irregular my fics are because i end up feeling guilty about how by the time my writers block is over, the fandoms are completely different .. and to be honest when you stop thinking about it it IS kind of funny because theres a. wow fanfiction and b. anime fanfiction. i wonder sometimes if people go to my page and have an aneurysm looking at the fandom list

WII RP???????? WII RP???????????? i wasnt allowed to do really anything with our wii because i was really REALLY young so perhaps this is only insane to me because i never did anything except use the wii to watch pucca in 240p but ON THE WII??????????????????

im going to be wojack pointing at the m3:r wip until the end of time and you can count on that, these two dead elves (and particularly how you write them!!!) have carved themselves into my brain and they refuse to pay rent

2021..... damn bitch you live like this!!

7 months of hibernation... you're getting preserved in a bog it's Fine. I spent a whole year writing Nothing, just rotting mostly, and now look at me ( < not normal) (writing though!)

Fanfics are so easy... and you get other people to bounce stuff off of too like if I crave content I can go yell to my friends about it. For OCs you need Context.... Lore..... who has the time!!! I mean I do I am a known oc enjoyer but still. What work

I do also have the snippet channel. And the snippet notes app. And the snippet google docs. And the snippet paper scraps. And– yeah okay I've escaped the indignity of discord wips but not that of Disorganized WIPs

I'm glad it helped! There's no such thing as 'moving on' for a fandom!!! I know anime fandoms tend to be fast moving but if you let your wip age some more you too can become 'the only person still writing this ship', and profit 😈

Listen. My parents could ground me from using my PC. They could take my DS. But by god they couldn't take away ALL the screens and if I had to point and click my way through writing a post about my sparklewolf daughter of hades then I WOULD. And did!! My wrist will never forgive me

#Asks #Anonymous #Love it when fic authors have wildly different fandoms #'final fantasy' 'baseball rpf' what. Okay. #Shaking Kael. Start paying rent richboy #It's good that you like my characterization of them because Christ alive I don't think it's in character anymore

[ibroughtyoumybullets]

You said not to ask so please ignore this if you don't want to explain, but could you elaborate on your March 19th / May 1st theory? thanks!

ahfkafhksfh yeah no problem. its not a theory its just ... brain worms that have taken a specific shape but thats not new this is just the latest form. under a cut because i hate like. getting peoples hopes up over something ive entirely made up

greentext format but make it wordy

> i think frank has been like. suspicious lately. i dont know how to explain it beyond that. he’s done a LOT of press-but-not-press in the last month or so. sure, he’s definitely bored and stuck in his house like the rest of us, and he had a new EP come out, and the EP is technically the reason for the press. but it also ... isnt. like the bulk of it has been AFTER the EP came out, and none of it has been wholly focused on the EP. and to me, at least, it feels like, i dont know, easing the band back into public consciousness thru a press circuit without the band ACTUALLY doing a press circuit because MCR been pretty hard and fast about the ‘we dont need or want ur press’ when it comes to the reunion. 

> continuing off the last one, in the ... jim ward interview he did, i think? one of the more recent ones, at least - he got asked about his writing process and mentioned working with gerard in present tense. very very likely it meant nothing at all, but also like ... i dont trust him LOL part of me thinks it was on purpose. Im just suspicious of him after the broken clock thing. 

> not only did frank mention working with gerard in the present tense, for Months now, but especially during his recent mini press tour, frank has been really vague but consistent in talking about working with people on music remotely. id have to go looking for it and i dont feel like it, but it’s been something along the lines of ‘working with new people And people you know’. suspitcheous. 

> ONTO GERARD. Gerard like never uses social media. but then a couple days ago he pops up to mention franks EP (which is sweet) and makes sure to sign it so its like, obviously not something his social media manager wrote up for him. and in that post he mentions being down in the lab. and LORD KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK THAT MEANS besides the fact that he’s working on something. but hey, its gerard, when isnt he. 

> But Gerard’s also doing that charity stream on the 2nd. and we havent seen gerard in MONTHS. since august, maybe? and he’s not just speaking, hes PERFORMING. besides the shrine show, the last time he performed was for the muppet charity thing with ray in 2016, and before that, it was the last hes alien leg in 2015. None of us even expected him to perform when it got announced - it had to be confirmed by the event organizers. and that just ... pings something in my brain, same as franks little press tour. It’s gerard emerging from his cave, Being A Musician, you know? 

> SPEAKING of the last time we saw gerard, he teased us back in the summer by mentioning that he has something he’s been working on thats not comic book related that he cant talk about. maybe its a fucking line of hot sauces or a tripp collaboration. 

> Or maybe its music. 

> this is where we depart from reality a little bit more: 

> this has been trotted out again and again on here as a talking point, and i dither between agreeing with it or not, but: MCR spent two years planning their return. they had a plan, for whatever the fuck was supposed to happen - even if all that was supposed to happen was the tour. 

> and their plan got pissed on, doused in gasoline, set on fire, extinguished, and thrown into the mouth of a lion. But They Had A Plan. And theyve been fucking radio silent except the hipdot collab, and before that, rescheduling shows. I ASSUME their almost-year of silence has been them, in part, reformulating their plan. Changing whatever it was going to be to fit the new timeline, or making a back up plan in case things get worse. 

> But the original plan had them all free - as far as we know - after november of 2020. so they wouldnt have had active MCR stuff happening for the national anthem comic book release, the electric century album + comic release, the you look like death tua comic release. But those things still happened, because they didnt require having to be in the real world where the plague is. 

> so, what the worms hinge on, is that whatever the New Plan Is, Whatever They Are Doing Now, it involves waiting until all their obligations and projects that SHOULDNT have interfered with MCR stuff - but had to the potential to because of covid - ended. 

> and thats now. thats the next couple weeks. you look like death just finished up, mikeys album and comic are out, and national anthem finishes up in like a week in a half. 

> and then theres nothing (that we know of) until the rescheduled shows happen, or *knocks thrice on wood* they have to reschedule again. 

> and this is where we really enter crazy town:

> so i was thinking about all of these things, and the imagery / themeing for the return (what little we got of it) and how a year ago everybody was pulling out the wheel of the year trying to figure out what they would do next, and when. 

> and March 20th (i know i said march 19th originally, i’ll get into that) is Ostara. 

> if youre not vaguely witchy, its basically a festival for the spring equinox. light and dark are in balance, yadda yadda yadda. and i could go into full on insane depth about the black and white aspects of the return, the witchiness of an offering + a summoning but i wont. it boils down to: its the closest festival to when all of MCR’s calendars are clear as far as we know, and its almost a year to date of when they had to reschedule the shows. 

> and March 19th is a Friday. which is new music release day. Ostara / the equinox are technically on saturday, but its at 5am on saturday morning so ... technicalities. 

> so the worms in my brain say new single on march 19th. or Something on march 19th. or 20th. one of those days. 

> and the worms in my brain also say MCR are a bunch of cruel little shits, and theyre gonna make us wait before they give us anything substantial. 

> so we move to May 1st. 

> May 1st is also known as May Day, also known as Beltane. (We’re back to the wheel of the year for this one) Its the halfway point between the spring equinox and the summer solstice. And its a Saturday. which is NOT new music release day - but hey, its close enough. 

> may day is also like, similar to halloween / samhain in that the veil is supposed to be thinner on those days, and i think theres a connection the imagery and over-all plan wise between coming back on halloween, and possibly doing something on mayday. i dont think they just came back on halloween as a birthday present to frank. 

> so second single on may day, or album? or announcement that theres gonna BE an album? maybe they wont give us a single on ostara but just tease us with something. i dont know. but i think theres something here. 

> im aware this was a lot of words and i basically gave you nothing, but i can only give you what the worms give to me. 

> sorry for being the way i am. hope this helped. 

#Anonymous #asks #anon

[whosaskingwrites]

The Sound Of Love (Tsukishima x Reader)

A/N: Um I don't like this one as much as the others but I did my best. It honestly took forever cause I didn't want to write it and I had no idea what song to use but I eventually decided so here we are.

WARNINGS: angst

Date: Saturday November 7th, 2020

Details: 5.3 pages 2,000 words

Theme: Musicalia- The victim will hear a song constantly playing in their head until it drives them insane. The person of affection will only hear the music when they are around the victim.

Angst Masterlist

Clair De Lune

A simple, beautiful piano melody that had been repeating in my head for weeks. There was never a reprieve from the beautifully haunting melody. My mind followed the sound like a moth to a flame and deteriorated the closer it got to the music.

No amount of holding my hands over my ears stopped it. It had become a part of me like the backround music in a video game or movie. However this wasn't a video game or a movie this was real. Every day was the same never a rest I couldn't even sleep some nights.

This was my last week at Karasuno before I was put in the hospital. My mind was too far gone to stay out I couldn't really hear anything anymore to distracted by the music and of course I hummed it on occasion. Everyone in my classes knew I had it...Musicalia but they didn't know who caused it.

Monday

I walked to class with a sigh Yamaguchi was following and as we walked I heard a gentle piano melody that got louder. I spotted a familiar H/c haired girl fast walking past me like she'd done since I pushed her away. Yamaguchi followed my eyesight and the music faded the further away she got "you should apologize you know. This week is her last at Karasuno," I blinked 'her last week?' I thought "Shut up Yamaguchi," I said keeping my emotions off my face "Sorry Tsukki," I continued watching the S/c skinned female rush off down the hall.

Tuesday

I was walking up to the roof ready to reject another girl. Why they felt the need to confess to me of all people id never understand. As I rounded the corner someone ran into me and with a short shriek they fell. I was about to say something when I noticed who it was...Y/n she looked paler than I remembered and eye bags were prevalent on her face. I heard the piano again it was louder than ever.

"Do you need to listen to music that loud?" I asked though it was harsher than intended. Her eyes widened and I held back a frown as I saw she was afraid. "S-sorry," she stood up quickly and ran off down the hall the music fading the further she got and I watched 'why was she afraid of me?' My eyes caught something on the floor which I turned to. Picking it up I realized it was a simple gold bracelet with a dinosaur charm on it.

"This is...," It was the bracelet id given her three years ago on her birthday. It was still in perfect condition looking like it did on the day I'd given it to her and it caused a small smile to pull at my lips as I pocketed the familiar bracelet.

Wednesday

Everytime I spotted the e/c eyed female in the hallway and approached her she would turn and run the music following her. Nobody ever seemed bothered by the piano it was almost like they didn't hear it and Y/n was never wearing headphones when it was playing. "Does she ever stop listening to that song?" I mumbled to myself as she ran away yet again.

"What song?" Yamaguchi asked next to me I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked at him. "What do you mean what song? That damn piano music she's always listening to it's annoying," I said and Yamaguchi’s eyes widened "Tsukki...She's not listening to any music...," He stated.

I blinked as I processed what that meant "No ive heard it-," Yamaguchi cut me off before I could continue he had a sad look in his eyes and as he spoke I realized why. "She's got Musicalia Tsukki...," He whispered as he looked at me. "She...She what?" I asked. "She's got Musicalia and if you can hear it that means...," my own eyes widened as I realized what he was implying. "Oh...,"

Thursday

Cornering someone who was avoiding you was much more difficult than you'd think. Everytime I ended up even in the same room as her she ran before I could even get near her. "Yamaguchi," I stated causing him to jump. "Yeah?" He nervously asked. "Can you convince Y/n to meet you on the roof?" I asked. He didn't ask any questions he just nodded mumbling a quiet yeah as the teacher walked in the room.

I stood on the roof looking out towards the gym. I heard footsteps come around the corner and stop before they slowly started backing away. "Can you stop running? I need to talk to you," I said. The footsteps stopped and I turned around. Y/n stood a few feet away nervously shuffling on her feet.

"When were you gonna tell me?" I asked and she sighed "Preferably never," She answered and I furrowed my eyebrows. "Never? This could kill you!" I took a step toward her while she took one back "So what?" She spit bitterly rasing her head up to glare. "So what? So everything!" I shouted.

"So everything? You dont even fucking like me! You made that pretty clear last year!" She yelled back. She was referencing an argument that I barely remembered and that she hadn't forgotten. "Do you even know what its like to have your heart crushed in seconds!?" She screamed. "You still should have told me you have Musicalia!" I glared back. 

She just gave me a bitter smile "I suppose my dear this was how it was meant to be," she stretched her arms out as she spoke and tears dripped down her face at a slow pace. "You dying isn't how it's supposed to be!" She only shook her head in response. I stuck my hand in my pocket and pulled out the bracelet. "Here...just take this back," I said holding it out. She walked forward and I heard that gentle and haunting music get louder.

She stopped closing my hand around the bracelet and leaning up to press a kiss against my cheek. "Keep it I won't have a use for it much longer," she mumbled before turning and walking off. "Y/n!" She stopped but didn't turn around and I continued speaking. "I love you," she sighed and turned her head. The sunset cast her in an ethereal glow and sparkled off the remaining tears on her face.

She gave a sad, watery smile in response. "No you don't Tsukki. If you did...You would have come back to me a lot sooner," she turned and left I knew she was right but god it hurt to hear her say that. My hand was still tightly closed around the bracelet the metal uncomfortably warm against my skin as she walked away from me.

Friday

She avoided me even more. I never saw her but I heard the music following around on occasion. After yesterday I had looked for the melody finally hearing it long enough to search for it. The results had told me the song was Clair De Lune I should have known. It was Y/n's favorite song though I doubted she liked it now.

I had tried to find her when I heard the music but even if I followed it I never found her. I was walking toward my locker keeping an ear out for that melody. As I opened the locker a f/c envelope fell out as I picked it up I noticed it was sealed with a gold wax stamp. Flipping it over my name was written on the front in flowing cursive. I put it away in my bag before heading to practice.

I flipped the envelope around in my hand staring at it before sighing. I pulled open the envelope and slipped the contents out. The first was a photo of me, Y/n, and Yamaguchi we were standing in the park in the photo. Y/n and Yamaguchi had their arms over eachothers shoulders while I stood in the background glaring towards the camera.

The other thing was a letter that I was hesitant to flip open. I knew the letter was from Y/n but I for the first time felt afraid on what she had to say. Sighing I opened the letter ready to read it.

Dear Kei,

It's been awhile hasn't it? Though That's what happens after fights. You give each other time to calm down and then you come back. Only this time...There is no coming back. You already know I have Musicalia and I'm sure you know I love you. It's weird to write that to someone you know doesn't love you.

Don't lie either. You don't love me the way I love you. You may think you do but if you had we would have been friends again by now. But you were perfectly content with not having me in your life so I know you'll be fine when I'm actually gone.

That's the issue isn't it? I'll be gone soon really, truly...gone. I'm not afraid knowing my death is approaching im...content and at peace with it. My death won't be glorious. I'm not going out with a bang. Or any final inspirational words. I'll go quietly in my sleep hopefully. Sleep however is hard when there's music constantly playing on loop in your head.

When I'm gone Kei...Will you visit me? Tell me about your day or the volleyball team! Yamaguchi told me about the team you should go easier on them. You should also learn from them you know? Anyways if you ever can't make it to me...Play Clair De Lune and I'll go to you! I'll listen to you talk at your place instead of you coming to mine!

I'm sure you know by now that this is my goodbye letter. Don't act so suprised of course I want to say goodbye to you. You're important to me you should know that. I've written this for awhile but I wanted it to be a good final goodbye since its immortalized forever in a letter. If you share this with anyone I'll kill you by the way. Even in death I still have a reputation. Anyway...

Goodbye Kei

I love you

—Y/n L/n

A month had passed since she said goodbye I moved forward even though it hurt to not see her around school. It almost felt like she moved but that imagine was ruined whenever I visited her grave. "Hey Tsukki I didn't know you liked dinosaurs!" I sighed in irritation my eyes flicking towards Kuroo who was pointing at my wrist.

"Wow that's cool!" Bokuto joined in and my eyes drifted to the golden bracelet around my wrist. "It's not mine," I stated drinking my water. "Whos is it?" Akaashi asked and I sighed again. "My friend Y/n’s...She's gone now and I'd rather not talk about it," I said standing up and heading back to the net. None of them said anything more about it and I was grateful for that.

Later that night I closed my eyes and played the song that I had grown very familiar with. It was quiet except for the soft melody playing through my headphones. While my eyes were closed I felt the familiar pressure on my body like someone was laying on my chest. If I listened through my headphones close enough I could almost hear her soft voice humming the song. 

I knew in my brain it was impossible but for now I let my heart believe that it was her. I talked quietly about anything and everything that came to mind. The team was sleeping so I knew I could talk freely most of them slept like they were in a coma. I sighed as I reached the end of my story before I spoke once more.

"I miss you Y/n,"

————————————————————————

TAGLIST: @wonhomarshmallow

#haikyu #haikyu x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! #whosaskingangst #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei #haikyuu tsukishima #tsukishima angst

[natto-axolotl]

everyone's dojng this so

@aquatic-turquoise - BRO IM NEVER FONNA FORGET JULY WHERE YOU SAID HEWWOW TO ME. YOU WERE THE FIRST ONE THAT FALKED TO ME IN SHMEEPS AND IM NEVER GONNA FORGET THAG. YOURE SO FUNNY AND AWESOME AND JUST A GREAT FRIEND OVER ALL GODSPEED YOU FUNKY KATSUMA

@jackie-from-the-seafloor - BRO BRO VRO VRO VRO!!!!!!!!! I LOOKED HP TO YOU REALLY EARLY ON AND NOW THAT WERE IN THE GC AND GOOFING OFF IT FEELS LIKE A FEVER DREAM!!!!!!! YOURE SO NICE AND FUNNY AND I REMEMVER BRINGING UP SCP AND TALKING WITH OUT ABOUT IT!!!!!!! HAVE A GREAT UCKING NEW YEAR YOU TIMETRAVELLING LOBSTER

@jsab-fujii - YOU :thot:. BRO IM NEVER GONNA FORGET WHEN I POSTED TAYLOR AND YOU REACTED THAT WAY YOU MOTIVATE ME TO KEEP DRAWING JSAB SHIT AND GOOFING OFF YOURE SO FUNNY AND CHILL AND YOURE ALWAYS A SHOULDER TO CRY ON ITS INSANE HOW AWESOME TOU ARE SO HAVE A HAPPY FUKEING NEW YEAR YA SWUARE (hugs you)

@pixxstix - PIXSTIX YOU WONDERFUO GREMLIN (HIGHFIVES AND GIVES YOU CANDLE) PLAYING SKY WITH YOU IS SO FUCKING CALMING AND NICE AND EVEN AFTERR SHIT WENT DOWN THE SQUAD'S STILL TOGETHER AND WERE GONNA BE OKAY!!!!! YOUR ORIGINAL SHIT IS SO INTERESTING AND I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHERE IT GOES!!! SO (holds your hand and jumps into GW spiral) HAPPPPY NEWW YEAAAARRRRRRE

@pure-innocent-disaster-two - KATE KATE KATE KATE KATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR JSAB SHIT IS SO FUCKING INTERESTING ANF COOL AND EVEN THEOUFH THE AAAU IS PROBABLY DEAD IT WAS STILL SO COOL ANDDRAGGED ME INO ACE ATTORNEY!!!!!!! PLAYING SKY WI TY YOU IS ALSO JUST SO CALMING AND NICE AND FLOAING ABOUT GW.....SHIT MAY HAVR GONE DOWN BUT WERE STILL IN ONE PIECE AND THAT'S WHAF MATTERS!!! SO GO, ONWARDS TA LITTLE MUSIC NOTE!!!! HAPOY 2020!!!!! (hands u a candle)

@myserbale - MYS YOU FERAL GREMLIN,,,,,,YOUR ART IS HONESYLY SO GOOD AND MAKES ME GO HHHHHHHH AND IM STILL IN SHOCK YOURE A PART OF THE SKYSQUAD,,,,,,YOURE AMAZING AN HILARIOUS AND (HANDS YOU A CANDLE) WE ARE BROS....ONWARDS FLOOFBALLL

@nontoxic-markers - KNIGHT (GRABS YOU) BRO YOURE SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!! IVE SAID THIS IN MY RB BUT ITS BEEN A YEAR SINCE I FIRST DISCOVERED JSAB AND I CANNOT VELIECE THAG SIMPLY FINDING A FUNKY GAMR WOULD LEAD TO BEING INA GC WITH YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE JSUT HHHHHHHHAGAFSGAFSGAFSGSVSVS BRO YOURE AMAZING.,,,,,,NEVER EVER EVER FUCKING FORGET THAT!!!!! HAPPY NEW YEARS TWINK

@nebulanudibranch - NEBI WHERE THE FUCK DO I EVEN BEGIN I ONLY GOT TO KNOW YOU RECENTLY BUT HOLY SHIT YOURE SO NICE.....WATCING EPITHET ERASED WAS THE BEST CHOICE IVR EVER MADE AND WE JUST GOOFED OFF AND DRAGGED EVERYONE ELSE INTO IT!!!! YOUR ART IS SO PRETTY AND ICONIC AND ID JUST CRY BC YOU'RE SO NICE AND THE ANON ASK HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU FUNKY NUDIVEANCH!!!!!

@sol4r-eclips3 - BRO YOUR ART AND CHARACTER DESIGN IS SLAPPING AND THEYRE SO FUNA ND UNIQUE I LOVE THEM ALL SM,,,,,,,,,YOURE REALLY FUNNY AND ID REALLY LIKE TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER!!!! HAPPY MEW YEAR YOU SHAPESHIFTING VOID CREACGER

@hexaforce678 - HEXAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRO YOUR COMICS ARE SO COOL AND UNIQUE AND YOURE JUST SO FUN TO HANG OUT AROUND AND TALK TO AND ID LAY MY LIFE DOWN FOR KEVIN!!!!!!!!!! I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU NEXT DECADE MAN!!!!!!!

@charmed-wonder - CHARMED TOU FERAL WONDER!!!!!!!!!! YOUR ORIGINAL STORY IS SO COOL AND I REALLY WANNA SEE MORE OF IT!!!!! YOURE AN ABSOLUTE CRACKHEAD IN THE GOOD WAY AND SO FUNNY AND WONDERFUL TO TALK TO SO HUA!!!!!!

@rhyth5 - RAYNE FIRST OFF YOUR ASKBLOG WAS ALSO ONE IF THE FIRST AND IT WAS AWESOME,,,,,,YOURE SO FUNNY AND GREAT TO TALK TO AND ID DIE FOR NEXUS!!!!!! SO HAPPY NEW YEAR KING KNIGHT KINNIE!!!!!!!

@horned-slime - PHALANX!!!!! BRO THANK YOU DO FUCKING MUCH FOR DRAGGING ME INTO GAY ROCK HELL MAN!!!! YOUR ORIGINAL SERIES IS SO DETAILED AND INTERESTING AND HEARING YOU BLAB ABOUT IT US AWESOME!!!!! SO HAPPY NEW YEAR (hands u sourdough loaf)

@mother-of-thots-returns - MOT IVE ONLY KNOWN YOU FOR LIKE A MONTH BUT YOURE SO FUCKIJG SWEET AND NICE AND FULL OF POSITIVITY I CRY!!!!!!!! YOU LIFT RVERYONE UP AND YOURE JUST SO FUCKJGG NF NICE ALRIGHT (SHOVES MY APPRECIATION TOWARD GOU) HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

@dibphobic - PUR!!!!!! IVE TALKED TO YOU ABOUT OW AND LOL BEFORE AND NOW THAT WERE BOTH NECKDEEP IN SOUPDAD HELL IVE GOTTEN TO KNOW YOU A LOT BETTER AND YOURE JUST SO FUCIJG AWESOME,,,,MPUSE ART SKILLS OK FLEEK!!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

@krys-lil-corner - DRAGON MOM DRAGON MOM!!!!!!!! BRO YOURE ALWAYS A RELIABLE SHOULDER TO CRY ON AND I CANT THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR THAT ;;W;; I CANT WAIT FOR NEXT DECADE AND WHAT IT HAS FOR US!!!!!

LIGHTNING ROUND: @maybeheir @tokyosorbet @apollysabyss @chiramire @tiny-airman @bihet-trendrr @dolleroo @iscaredspider , THE ENTIRE HELL SERVER I OWE YOU MY FUCKING LIFE, ENTIRETY OF NTM Y'ALL ARE CRACKHEADS AND ILY, SHAPES AND PEETS EVERYONE THERE IS HELLA AWESOME, ISCA'S SPIDERWEB, AND THE EPITHET ERASED FAN DISCORD

IM SO SO SO SORRY IF I MISSED YOU, BUT JUST KNOW THAT YALL ARE THE NICEST FUCKING PEOPLE IVE EVER MET AND IDK WHERE I'D BE WITHOUT YALL,

SO HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! TO A NEW START IN 2020!!!!

#natto blabbos #long post #friend tag

[zella-starr]

Cassandra is its hero: a girl that can see bad news or predict the end of the world- but no one ever listens so its stuck in a perpetual state of existing and emotional terror: zella finally figured out what 12 monkeys is about and it wrote this absurt literal wtf short story that only makes sense to those who look deeply there are some spoilers in #s but if anyone does read it and it doesnt get it kicked the f out then just tell it what you think of the ending - if you understand it at all lol 

it prays, to pic related that tumblr has more femine creatures than ones who do not understand metaphors or cannot see between white and black every shade of grey

it presents: The Cassandra Effect don’t read it tho its insanity personified

DO NOT READ THIS YALL!

The Casandra effect short story by something called zella or ezla or something idk it aplogizes for spelling errors but it freaked out and though it lost its masterpiece via saudi princes banning it from twitter

"my name is Casaandea" my name is Casandra - she repeated after the cubes. something about tit felt--different- a sinister evil the cube felt different today But she had learned to not listen to such thoughts- the kind of thing that would tear a weaker specimen to pieces but cas- (arrogance my darling)

Zella01/11/2020 "a horse, of course, my darling" ` as far as Cassie could tell, the cube thought this was amusing- cute even- she smiled- kind of. and but her little black boots on for a flickering moment she wondered what day it was then scoffed- "days" the cube has replaced any need for such distinctions

Zella01/11/2020 the first thing the cube had said to the population of Wintersville  upon its gran unveiling via the tribesman, was "every day is exact;u the same,!" like the great Adema themselves said! " stupid vicky, who is no long with us began to correct the cube . "That's Nine Inch Nails haha" but the look the tribesman- the one who was always beside the cube, well i sure wouldn't want to see that peak in the window at night such as on Thursdays when the servants of tribesman would do so- there were strict rules regarding sexual activity it goes without saying that after the great collapse everyone was sterilized- no children period. they were rounded up and shipped off to.. Cassiei always forgets just where but since the tribesman had brought in his spiritual leader Augustness. sexual pleasure had become limited for men- and more so for women.  a man without a wife was most scrutinized and often was sent to another sector. One man was caught, welll Cassie was supposed to keep heer mind off of such things as she had been scolded since mistaking the tribesman wife for well not a woman Cassie stopped for a moment and looked around she felt the fear. this means they could to,. but why was the memory so frightful? it was a simple truth he had told her there are men, and there are women Cassies little black boots were almost at the entrance of the factory when her favorite sound on earth came screeching through the air and crashed into her eardrums like the silly old tale of  the 2 became 1 buildings nonsense It was Kathy- Cassie's coworker and Nemesis- her voice was always happy-sounding- often at awkward times- but none would beat this "Cracker John Joe got hit my a truck!" "excuse me?" "yep, his head came plum off his neck too!" "what he's.. dead?" "ok well it did not come plum off his head it wad i think about half of it the tire just smashed his head and it crumbled but lots of the crumblings were far away so it was almost his." Cassie had to make sure  her stress did not rise- or as the Tribesman called it her Gorita acting amuck " this would require intervention from the cubes she decided to take a peek anyway, despite kathy (what kind of fucking name is that anyway-ok Cassie stop it) and she wa.. well it was actually not such a great idea it was not that they were close,. they did not go to prom together. they did not kiss each other on the cheek after a run-in on the one single street in wintersville. but she did work with him, he was a bubbly guy, thats what the tribesman said of him- and obviously the tribesman had him killed sometimes though she wondered which was in control, him or the cubes- this thought was followed my a very sharp pain and headache that would last for day at a time (this was how the subjects of the satanic mind-control experiment that was wintersville, were trained- imagine a dog being shocked every time it bites someone) It was not the worst one she had felt, no, that was easy to pin point: one day at work- an outsider was brought in. A girl- of 16 or 17 years old. Tribesman had another man with him that day- no one spoke his name- but he decided it would be best for Casandra and the new girl (Cassie called her flower as her name was never known) Flower had an outrageous hick accent- one that cassie would normally have been disgusted by, but flower was different. she had a light shining from her eyes. a softness to her lips and to her touch. one that cassie did not forget later that evening when she was alone., this was before she learned she was never alone when the cubes were anywhere near by. she tried not to remember - because if she remembered she felt It had been several years since Cassies husband dissipated. quite literally in front of her eyes. he was gone. the depression was so great, she hadn't played with herself in - there she goes again- as if there is any such thing as years or months or days or seconds. no past. no future but still, it was worth a little bit of that pain- fuck even at the time the piercing razorblade feeling, starting with her clit up to her eye balls was worth it. She touched herself- quite a bit. she rubbing her clit and moaning- at the previous images of Flower , her soft lips and perky tits- but then Cassie still didn't know that the slicing, the burning pain she could still feel - started the second the man with no name- after his henchmen had kidnapped and beaten Flower  - a pain Cassie mistook for pleasure (are they not the same) set  flowers body on fire and what little life there was inside of her soon was no more what would cassie have done HAD she known? should we find out? we control this. we control this experiment. would she revolt? haha against whom? what if we ended the experiment early - the knife she just tabbed int the "tribesman" was, in fact, her mother? we are not sure yet. but surely a woman who wears the same black boots every day after being given a new name she is sure she has always had- to go to work where she does n not know what she does. something something. could her infatuation with Flower show us new and exciting ways to break her down? because this will en no other way every controlled subject still must die its one of our favorite tricks- to instill into the psych of the truly helpless- that surely ifshe had suffered THIS much, then there would be no more one day>? I mean that IS how it works is it not? we suffer- then karma picks us up. what do you think fellahs? fuck it. why not. she must be broken- lets break her slower than most- lets take that hope- and stretch it lets create a future for her - one she will only think of, we can build her up give her what she wants for a day- we can bring flower back and kill her again or maybe something new? something not romantic. often the cold hearted clutches onto something- or someone that oppresses others. lets make enemies for her, shadows she can jump when she sees. others. the town is all white? lets increase paranoia of an oncoming slew of blacks or Mexicans. of course we will choose the kindest ones we know, those ho speak Spanish will frighten her the most- we dont let her learn things here. not anything useful yes even greater than the destruction of flower- will be the terror of the others. lets bring in tansgender people.  lets legalize gay marriage. lets let others have children but only once she is to old to have them herself but thats not enough- now we needa hero and we all know how this story ends -The end

for real if you made it this far thank you for reading a single word ive ever written its all i want in this world- well not quite but close <3 

the worst thing you can do to someone is make them the enemy theyve always hated via some tyrant taking over their minds and souls and spitting out a perverse vile version of them- no point to go to its funeral it died long ago..

#horror #scifi #mind control #mind corruption #mind conditioning #trump #maga2020 #psychos #3 letter demon monsters

[eccentricsoauthentic]

Love. Change. Love Again.

I’ve been denying a lot of things. And it’s not because i don’t want them to be true; its that it hurts too much to think about.

I broke up with my ex boyfriend 5 months ago, almost 6. There wasn’t any bad blood or fight or anything like that. It was a mutual decision between us because of distance...or supposed distance.

Even though we broke up, we still worked together, saw each other at events, and other things...but those weren’t the hardest parts. Everyday I drove to work in the morning, I would sit in my car, play the song we loved, and cry. Or sometimes I would just cry. I was crying because I was and still am in love with him. I had let him go. I told myself I was okay with that...but im not. 

I see him in my dreams, photos, videos, and read about great times with him in my journals and the poetry I wrote for him. I even still have the blue courdoroy button down he gave me. 

5 months later...he’s still on my mind. 

There have been other guys I talked to since. One guy I’ve liked on and off for years; Another, who I only love as a friend; One who scheduled his face times with me; And another who I don’t think I ever meant anything to. 

But he’s still there. In my head and my heart.

I know Im in love with him because seeing him talking about other girls doesn’t upset me or make me feel jealous, but makes me sad. There is a girl I think he had a thing with..someone I know. They started hanging out all the time and posting each other on social media. That was HARD.

Hard for me to see. Hard because it hurt so fucking bad and every time I saw them together..my heart shattered. The girl is beautiful and amazing and artistic and creative and one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. She’s a friend. So i hated myself for the feeling in my brain that told me not to like her..because I really like her. 

The only thing I could do was un-follow them both on social media...and once i went to back to college...i wouldn’t be seeing him anymore so it began to hurt less. But I still think about him. All the time. 

Whenever I talk about him now..i get so happy and its almost as if ive tricked my brain into thinking he’s still mine. I know i sound insane

UPDATE:

(1 year and a month later post-breakup)

I took the time to finally find solace. I stopped trying to find someone else to fill the void I thought I had. I let my heartbreak fuel my art and my work. I did some amazing things and met some amazing people. 

One of those amazing people became my man. 

He is beyond anyone I ever thought I could meet. I wasn’t looking for him...it just happened. I feels like I’ve known him forever. 

He loves me so boldly...y’all I didn’t think anyone would ever love me the way he does. I am so grateful to God for giving me the strength to find myself. 

and leading my bean (his nickname) to finding me. 

UPDATE:

(2 years later-post breakup)

I’m still with my bean :) We celebrated our 1 year anniversary on February 15th, 2020. Today is April 13th, 2020. I am not really active on Tumblr much anymore, but every time I log in and click on my profile, this post pops up. The funny thing is, I didn’t remember updating the post the first time, and then, I didn’t even remember writing the post at all. 

Things change RAPIDLY. That’s what this has taught me. To know that 2 years ago, I was sad and broken up over a boy that isn’t in my life anymore reminds me that I CHANGE rapidly as well. 

My bean and I have had some issues, who doesn’t? We’re working through them. But what hasn’t changed is how much I love him, and he constantly makes sure I know he loves me. The cupcake phase has been long over, and we both realized that. 

We only see each other once a week since the COVID-19 outbreak hit our state and we were placed in a Stay Home Order. It’s been a month, and we have another month to go on the order, so I think once this time apart is over, we’ll both be better. 

We were co-dependent on each other before. It was like we couldn’t be apart. As much as we loved that, we both knew we couldn’t continue our relationship that way. So, we made some changes and we’re learning to communicate while being apart. 

I will be graduating from college in May of 2021. Our plan is to make the move to Illinois when I graduate, so that I can attend graduate school and we don’t have to do long distance. I’ll try and do another update, but no promises. It will most likely happen another year from now, considering I always come back to Tumblr a couple times a year. 

UPDATE: January 3, 2023

Its been about 3 years since I’ve updated this post. Three years since I;ve logged on to post. I’m still with bean, but things have CHANGED. I graudated from college. Instead of Illinois, I started grad school in Boston and moved to Massachusetts. Crazy, right? Im in my second year. Me and bean live together. A lot has transpired between me and bean since that first meet, since the first time I spoke about him on this post. 

Personally, theres been so much. But I’m still here. 

#love #heartbreak #sadness #update #newboo #overcome #blackgirlswhoblog #covid-19 #quarantine #quarantinelife #relationship #relationship advice #interracial love #college #dorm life

[orbemnews]

Tech earnings could supercharge a greedy stock market What’s happening: Investors who think soaring valuations are grounded in reality point to future profits from the likes of Apple (AAPL) and Facebook (FB), which report results from last quarter after US markets close on Wednesday. Solid numbers could bolster the sentiment that stocks are the place to be, especially compared to low-yielding bonds. Microsoft (MSFT) set the tone when it shared earnings after the market closed on Tuesday. The company exceeded Wall Street analysts’ expectations for quarterly revenue by nearly $3 billion and hit a three-month sales record. Shares are up 2% in premarket trading. Breaking it down: The pandemic continues to buoy Microsoft’s business, which — as my CNN Business colleague Clare Duffy reports — has been bolstered by sales of computers and gaming systems, as well as the cloud computing tools helping companies facilitate remote work. “These were blowout numbers that will be another feather in the cap for the tech sector,” Wedbush Securities analyst Daniel Ives told clients. “The cloud growth party is just getting started.” Apple is also expected to show strong demand for electronic devices, especially given that it rolled out its new iPhone 12 last quarter. “Despite the later launch of iPhones, demand for the higher-end models remains robust,” Bank of America analyst Wamsi Mohan said in a research note this week. Facebook, for its part, is poised to get a boost from new shopping and video capabilities, which are expected to have brought in significant revenue thanks to the sheer number of people glued to their phones and computers at home. On the radar: We can’t forget Tesla (TSLA), of course, whose results also arrive after the bell on Wednesday. With shares up 1,122% from their March low, the stock has become a symbol of current market excess. The company has been profitable for five straight quarters, a first in its 17-year history. But now that it’s part of the closely-watched S&P 500, there’s new pressure to deliver. Guidance on 2021 deliveries will be crucial. Big picture: Greed has returned to markets, according to the Fear & Greed Index from CNN Business. Two of the metrics for determining market sentiment — stock price strength and market momentum — indicate “extreme greed.” But strong results from internet giants will only feed the pro-stock narrative, pushing the tech-heavy Nasdaq Composite to new heights. Talk of a bubble is only due to increase. “We don’t think that we are yet in the late stage of a bubble in the overall stock market,” John Higgins, the chief market economist at Capital Economics, said in a note to clients Tuesday. “Nonetheless, we acknowledge that the surge in the Nasdaq Composite suggests we may at least be in the early stage of a bubble again, even if the climb in the index is partly justified by the boost to earnings of companies in the technology sector from the pandemic.” The ‘unnatural, insane’ GameStop rally keeps going The Reddit-fueled rally of GameStop (GME) shares shows no signs of abating, as individual traders continue pumping up stock in the struggling video retailer. The latest: GameStop’s stock exploded 93% on Tuesday, finishing the day at $147.98. Gains are also being fed by traders who bet against GameStop, who are rushing to buy stock to limit their exposure in what’s known as a “short squeeze.” The struggling company now has a record market value of more than $10.3 billion. Its stock is up another 64% to $242 per share in premarket trading after Tesla CEO Elon Musk tweeted about the frenzy. Remember: Shares of GameStop, which is expected to lose money for the next two years, closed out 2020 at $18.84 per share. It’s clear that demand has completely decoupled from expectations about future earnings and inherent value. Instead, online commentators are relishing what they see as a David vs. Goliath triumph against hedge funds and short sellers, cheering the democratization of investing through no-fee trading platforms like Robinhood. But the dramatic run-up in GameStop’s stock is generating growing concern in the investment community — even among those who had previously been bullish. Michael Burry, the fund manager made famous by “The Big Short,” unveiled a stake in the company in 2019, helping to fuel interest. Now, as Bloomberg reports, he’s sounding the alarm. “If I put [GameStop] on your radar, and you did well, I’m genuinely happy for you. However, what is going on now — there should be legal and regulatory repercussions,” he tweeted Tuesday. “This is unnatural, insane, and dangerous.” American companies are still grappling with the Capitol riots Despite vocal pledges from some companies to take bold action following the deadly Jan. 6 siege on the US Capitol, many of America’s corporate giants are taking a wait-and-see approach about their future political giving, a new analysis from my CNN colleagues shows. CNN surveyed the roughly 280 companies in the Fortune 500 that supported the 147 Republican lawmakers who objected to certifying President Joe Biden’s win. About 150 responded, representing $14 million in donations to the politicians in question during the 2020 cycle. Among the findings: Many of the firms that have chosen to suspend campaign donations have taken a broad-brush approach — freezing contributions across the board, rather than targeting the Republican objectors. While 120 of the companies said they had decided to pause or end political giving in some form, 73 said they would halt donations to all federal candidates. Just 31 companies had specific timetables for how long they would suspend political activity. Sheila Krumholz, executive director of the nonpartisan Center for Responsive Politics, said that how long the corporate revolt will last is an open question, particularly since campaign fundraising usually slows in the months after an election. “Right now, it’s quite easy for them to sit back,” Krumholz said. “It’s hard to imagine this would last through the primaries and general election in 2022.” You can find a breakdown of how each company responded here. Up next AT&T (T), Anthem and Boeing (BA) report results before US markets open. Apple (AAPL), Facebook (FB), Levi Strauss (LEVI) and Tesla (TSLA) follow after the close. Also today: The Federal Reserve announces its latest policy decision at 2 p.m. ET, followed by a press conference led by Chair Jerome Powell. Any remarks on when the Fed will look at tapering bond purchases or raising interest rates will be under the microscope. Coming tomorrow: How did the US economy fare during the last three months of 2020? Investors will find out when GDP numbers post. Source link Orbem News #earnings #greedy #investing #market #Premarketstocks:Techearningscouldsuperchargeagreedymarket-CNN #stock #supercharge #Tech

[entergamingxp]

Fallen Order is Everything I’ve Wanted Since I Was a Child

January 26, 2020 2:00 PM EST

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order was a game that spoke to me on a level that no other game has and it was everything that I wanted.

I truly can’t remember how old I was when I saw my first Star Wars movie. I have vague memories of seeing The Phantom Menace at some point when I was very young but I honestly couldn’t tell exactly when I saw it. That being said, I do remember seeing Revenge of the Sith with my parents back in 2005 at a theater that doesn’t exist anymore. Like most kids after they saw a Star Wars movie, I was obsessed with lightsabers. They were big laser swords; who wouldn’t want to swing one of those around?

Ever since then, I’ve been obsessed with trying to find a Star Wars game that captures the feeling of being a Jedi or Sith. Star Wars: The Force Unleashed was a title that got really close for me, but looking back, it didn’t control as well as I remembered and the story was a bit on the weaker side (although it’s still one of my favorites). 2017’s Star Wars: Battlefront II also came close but it wasn’t ALL about a force-sensitive individual like I would have wanted. However, when 2019’s Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order was announced, I was optimistic about what the game would have to offer. Now that I’ve played through the title and I’m on my way to the platinum, I can say with confidence that this game is everything that I’ve wanted since I saw Revenge of the Sith in theaters and there are two very simple reasons as to why.

“This game is everything that I’ve wanted since I saw Revenge of the Sith in theaters.”

The forefront of Fallen Order’s immersion comes in the form of its gameplay. Right out of the gate the gameplay is smooth, even if you don’t have all your force powers yet. Despite being in this “powered down” form, the game still nails the feel of being Jedi. In the films and shows, you can see the differences between the Jedi, Sith and the non-force-sensitive lightsaber users. The force-sensitive wielders have more grace to their fighting styles (even the Sith to a certain extent, although certainly less-so). This grace and fighting style is expertly replicated in Fallen Order. 

Of course, the game doesn’t go too far. There are little to no insane flips or swings like the ones found in the prequels. When they are utilized, it’s sparingly. Because of this, the lightsaber combat has quickly become one of my favorites in a Star Wars game. Each hit and block feels meaningful. This is something that the sequel trilogy got very close to achieving compared to the other trilogies, but didn’t quite hit the mark. The heavy lightsaber combat and the fact that you’re actually playing the content rather than watching it makes for an experience that I could only dream about as a kid.

“This wasn’t Cal’s journey in becoming a Jedi — it was mine.”

On the opposite end of the spectrum, the Fallen Order’s story is absolutely superb and easily one of the best Star Wars stories we’ve ever gotten. Part of the reason it clicked with me so much is that I relate to Cal in my own way. When we first see him, he isn’t confident, he’s scared, and he’s just trying to blend in, all of which describe me when I was younger, first getting into Star Wars. As the story goes on, however, Cal grows, becomes confident, makes friends, and gets back on the path to becoming a Jedi Knight. I sometimes feel like I didn’t become a confident adult until much later than seemingly everyone else around me. For these reasons, I’m attached more to Cal than any other Star Wars character that’s currently canon.

There’s a moment later in the game, when Cal is making his own lightsaber, that I realized what this game had become for me. When I had a chance to fully customize Cal’s lightsaber on Illum, I immediately chose a yellow crystal. Ever since I was a kid, yellow was my ideal color for a lightsaber. It’s always appealed to me for some reason. After I chose my crystal, I immediately started customizing the saber more than I ever had before in the game. This was my lightsaber. It wasn’t Cal’s, it wasn’t Jaro Tapol’s, it was quintessentially mine. And then it hit me: this wasn’t Cal’s journey in becoming a Jedi — it was mine.

For some RPG and MMO players, this self-identification may not come as a surprise; I know that a lot of those players see themselves as the characters. But for me, no other game has spoken to me like this before. Maybe it was the story, maybe it was the gameplay, maybe it was just the fact that it’s a Star Wars game. Regardless, it all feels right.

Earlier this month I released my top 10 games for 2019 and at the time I wasn’t that far into Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order. Because of that, I only put the game as an honorable mention. At the time, I was sure that it would probably rank in my top five of the year, but it didn’t feel right putting a game that I had only played a few hours of so high on my list. If I had known what I do know about the title, I would have easily put the title in the number one slot. I can’t wait to see what EA and Respawn have in store for a sequel and I can’t wait to recreate my lightsaber at Galaxy’s Edge when I go later this year.

January 26, 2020 2:00 PM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/01/fallen-order-is-everything-ive-wanted-since-i-was-a-child/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=fallen-order-is-everything-ive-wanted-since-i-was-a-child