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#ive reread this (or listened to it) every year since I was 13 and it gave me the first glimmer of hope in my gender and my life
calamitys-child · 8 months
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Obsessed with the audiobook choice to make the borogravians all northern except mal who is Dracula. I love them so much you have no idea how much I adore these little genderfuck desperate losers with swords. Monstrous regiment u r everything to me forever
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cheolhub · 1 year
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if we're talking abt acotar - I really enjoy the books but I can see why some people wouldn't. I definitely agree the second book is better though, I reread all sjm books last summer and the first one is honestly kind of just like a really long prequel imo haha. my absolute favorite is the latest one (acosf) bc I literally adore the mc and the story rly resonated w/ me (and the smut was good)
also I absolutely relate abt hoping to be able to read this summer 😩 I literally read ?? 13 books last summer (and listened to like 8???) but since then I've finished ??? 2??? bc I just don't have the time w/ uni 😭 it literally eats up all my free time it's insane - ☁️
HI CLOUDNON,,, ive been itching to read acotar for a while now bc every time someone checks out with it, i get fomo LOL but anyway, ill try reading it as soon as i get through the book im reading rn (this is going to take at least a month 😹)
AND OMG, i didnt read any fucking books last summer bc i was taking summer classes 😹 and then i spent the second half of the summer in london for MORE summer classes 🫡 THIS YEAR THO. im not doing anything. it’s going to be a summer of rest and relaxation and i am going to read and write and SMILE bc its my last summer break in uni (thank god…)
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✨ Tag 9 people to learn more about their interests!
tagged by my fav @loulovehome thank you pu hope that this quells your curiosity! 
MUSIC
fav genre? not to be that person but i think i have a toe in most genres, i suppose my favorites have got to be anything taylor swift does, pop punk, r&b pop/new age r&b, and bluegrass
fav artist? again, not to be that person but i love so many artists! let’s do this based off of genre: taylor swift, 1D, 5sos, massive focus on ZAYN, the Avett brothers, and counting crows
fav song? fav song of all time (since i was young) is going to be come around by rhett miller but more currently i’d say you are in love by taylor swift and dRuNk by ZAYN
song currently stuck in your head? i have no idea how it got there but i have stressed out by 21 pilots stuck in my head??
5 fav lyrics? ok let’s do this kids. edit: this went in a “fav love song lyrics” way so sorry in advance.
1)  I hope that I don't sound to insane when I say / There is darkness all around us / I don't feel weak but I do need sometimes for her to protect me / And reconnect me to the beauty that I'm missin' (January Wedding - The Avett Brothers)
2)  Hands around my waist / You're counting up the hills across the sheets / And I'm a falling star / A glimmer lighting up these cotton streets / I admit I'm a bit of a fool for playing by the rules / But I've found my sweet escape when I'm alone with you (Disconnected - 5sos)
3)  This is the worthwhile fight / Love is a ruthless game / Unless you play it good and right / These are the hands of fate / You're my Achilles heel / This is the golden age of something good / And right and real (State of Grace - Taylor Swift) 
4)  What if I changed my mind / What if I said it's over / I been flying so long / Can't remember what it was like to be sober / What if I lost my lives? / What if I said "Game over"? / What if I forget my lies? / And I lose all my composure (Back to Life - ZAYN)
5)   I never said I was perfect / Or you don't deserve a good person to carry your baggage / I know a few girls that can handle it / I ain't that kind of chick, but I can call 'em for you if you want / I never said that you wasn't attractive / Your style and that beard, ooh, don't get me distracted / I'm tryna be patient, and patience takes practice / The fact is I'm leaving, so just let me have this (Jerome - Lizzo)
radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume I slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on
BOOKS
fav book genre? murder mystery and young love!
fav writer? jane austen, lisa jewell, and rick riordan (nostalgia ok?!)
fav book? the way i used to be my amber smith, rebecca by daphane du maurier, and then she was gone OR watching you (both by Lisa Jewell)
fav book series? i guess the whole percy jackson situations? i have everything RR every wrote, and i liked it all but i havent touched the older ones in ages
comfort book? not one specifically but the nancy drew books
perfect book to read on a rainy day? bird summons by leila aboulela
5 quotes from your fav book that you know by heart? i hope i can name five...
1)  “The point is, life has to be endured, and lived. But how to live it is the problem.” “I am no traveller, you are my world.” (both are My Cousin Rachel by Daphne Du Maurier)
2)  “And I’m terrified he’ll see through the tough iceberg layer, and he’ll discover not a soft, sweet girl, but an ugly fucking disaster underneath.” (The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith)
3)  "I cannot make speeches, Emma," he soon resumed; and in a tone of such sincere, decided, intelligible tenderness as was tolerably convincing. "If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it. Bear with the truths I would tell you now, dearest Emma, as well as you have borne with them. The manner, perhaps, may have as little to recommend them. God knows, I have been a very indifferent lover. But you understand me. Yes, you see, you understand my feelings and will return them if you can. At present, I ask only to hear, once to hear your voice.” (Emma by Jane Austen) (sorry for the length, the shortened versions were not cutting it for me)
4)  “Read, read, read. That's all I can say.” (The Secret of the Old Clock by Carolyn Keene)
5)  “...amazing how boring you can get away with being when you’re pretty. No one seems to notice. When you’re pretty everyone just assumes you must have a great life. People are so short-sighted, sometimes. People are so stupid. I have a dark past and I have dark thoughts. I do dark things and I scare myself sometimes.” (Invisible Girl by Lisa Jewell)
hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary (im a very judgmental reader) | rereading or reading just once
TV AND MOVIES
fav tv/movie genre? i like dramedies, mockumentaries, and procedurals 
fav movie? ive got a massive list on my phone but ill pick Doob (No Bed of Roses) and 3-Iron as my favs for today
comfort movie? 2000s romcoms, im talking clueless, 13 going on 30, how to loe a guy in ten days, ten things i hate abt you, legally blonde
movie you watch every year? mamma mia and all listed in prev question
fav tv show? too many, currently im rewatching arrested development
comfort tv show? new girl
most rewatched tv show? new girl
ultimate otp? shawn and jules from psych (ultimate bc ive been watching since diapers literally)
5 fav characters? winston bishop, stiles stilinski, bellamy blake, clarke griffin, lydia martin
tv shows or movies | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online
super fun even though it took me an hour lmao, I'm tagging @technosoot @hometothecanyonmoon @sassylilnoodle @sushiniall @rosegold-thorns no pressure and sorry if youve already been tagged!
edit: i somehow managed to forget what i consider to be one of the greatest opening verses ever???? so bonus lyrics:
Step out the front door like a ghost into the fog / Where no one notices the contrast of white on white / And in between the moon and you / The angels get a better view / Of the crumbling difference between wrong and right (Round Here - Counting Crows)
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chogisss · 3 years
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interests tag!
tagged by both @gxldendxys and @gxldenflower! thank you fran and archer for the tag :D
Music:
Fave Genre?
i cant pick any genre since i listen to everything, helP, but lately ive been listening to indie, hip hop and rap...
Fave Artist?
oh dang... uhhh doja cat, BAHAHAHA, idk there's something in her songs that makes me stream 24/7
Fave Song?
you by lo-fi le-vi :D
Most Listened to Song?
Heaven Sent by tevomxntana i heard it from an insta edit and mmm the brainrot
Song Currently Stuck In Your Head?
5, 6, 7, 8 by Steps yEEHAW
5 Fave Lyrics?
Oh fuck let's see,,,
"You got me tossin' and turnin', thinking of what we could be. I've been searching for the words but how do I say everything I need to" - OUTTA MY MIND by Monsune
"You look like a flower in full bloom, everytime I talk to you I really don't know what to do" - YOU by Lo-fi le-vi
"Would you like to dance with me and hold me, you know i want to be holding you" - Sharing The Night Together by Dr. Hook
"Now, it's getting hard to be alone without my babe, So help me out I'm dying here, I need your embrance" - It's You by Triathalon
"California, Oklahoma and all of the places I ain't ever been to but down in the valley with whiskey rivers, these are the places you will find me hidin', these are the places I will always go..." Down in the Valley by The Head And The Heart
radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | louder or silenter volume | slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on
Books:
Fave Book Genre?
I don't read books im sorry but adventure gets my attention
Fave Writer?
Arthur Conan Doyle maybe?
Fave Book Series?
Sherlock BHAHAHA please I really don't read books much
Fave Book?
I unfortunately don't have one :(
Comfort Book?
Sadly I don't have one either... :((
Perfect Book To Read on a Rainy Day?
I have nothing...
Favorite Book Characters?
I got no one in my mind :(((
5 Quotes You Know By Heart?
I got nothing please 😭 im so sorry for the people who reads books
hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once
TV and Movies:
Fave TV/Movie Genre?
I can’t decide… I’m watching a K-Drama right now… uhhh slice of life kind of genre and of course adventure
Fave Movie?
I have a bad memory but I recently loved The Upside
Movie You Watch Every Year?
It’s a rom-com called, 13 going on 30 because Mark Ruffalo and Never Been Kissed because I don’t know BAHAHA
Comfort Movie?
You, Me and Dupree, and Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse and The Upside
Fave TV Show?
Cobra Kai
Comfort TV Show?
Hospital Playlist and Good Omens
Most Re-watched TV Show?
Hospital Playlist and Cobra Kai
5 Fave Characters?
Mobius <3, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yang Seok-hyung, Chu Min-ha, and uhhh Johnny Lawrence
tv shows or movie | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online
tagging: i don’t know who to tag so feel free to do this!
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kimnjss · 4 years
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[ he stands you up ] requested.
@taestannie​: super angsty anniversary weekend where he stands you up.
@houseofarmanto​: forgetting your anniversary.
warnings: there are none?? 
A/N: requests for reactions are now open and without commissions. if you want to send a reaction request in, simply send me an ask!
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NAMJOON
It's been six months since you started your relationship with Namjoon and despite his  busy schedule he promised, a million times promised, that he would be able to meet with you for dinner to celebrate the special day. Any other day, any other time, you'd not get your hopes up because you knew how unpredictable his schedule was even if it was premade and solidified. Things came up and you understood that.
But, after seeing the look on his face, hearing the sureness in his voice when he made his promise, you decided that you would trust it and wait up for him. You put on a nice dress, did your hair and makeup prettily and waited for him to come pick you up, a large smile on your face.
As the hours ticked by, your smile seemed to fade and your patience began to wither. An hour, you could understand with him being late. If you remembered correctly, he had a busy day ahead of him so an hour late was expected. But four hours!? Four whole hours and not a single phone call?
To say you were livid would be an understatement. With a huff, you were kicking your heels from your feet, and trudging up the stairs to take all of this gunk off of your face and go to bed. Night completely ruined.
As you were wiping at your eyeliner, your phone lit up beside you. The smiling picture of you and Namjoon doing it's job in annoying you as a message from his truly popped up onto the screen.
[23:19] ♡ joonie ♡ : OHMYGOD!? BABY. im sooo fucking sorry, i forgot. im not even going to act like i didn't, because i really forgot.
[23:21] ♡ joonie ♡ : and don't take this to think ur not important to me, bc ur the most important thing to me... i just got caught up in the studio.
[23:26] ♡ joonie ♡ : im running home now, ready to make it up to u. please don't be mad!!
Setting your phone down, you shook your head, turning your attention back to your reflection in the mirror. You knew he meant his apologies and that he wasn't lying when he said that you were important to him.
If only this had just been the first time he forgot about you.
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JIN
A hundred days together was a big deal. To you and Jin. He had woke you up this morning with the biggest of smiles ready to tell you exactly what today was, as if you'd forget. Like most days, Jin had to work, and of course you didn't mind. You were looking forward to when he'd come home.
There was no way he hadn't planned something fun for the two of you to do tonight and you couldn't wait to figure out what it was. Jin liked to keep things interesting when it came to your relationship, always surprising you and willing to spice things up.
Even after one hundred days, you could genuinely say that there has never been a bored moment between the two of you. Whether he was making you laugh with his corny jokes or if you were teaching each other new recipes, there was always something for you to do. Something fun that you could enjoy together.
Throughout the entire day, you couldn't help but think up what something special would he have planned for you two. Ideas changing the later in the day it got. The romantic walk where the two of you watched the sunset being crossed off as the sunset and he was nowhere in sight.
Briefly, you contemplated sending him a text, but didn't want to be annoying or overbearing. Surely, he didn't forget, right? He was just running late. Probably caught up at practice or in the studio or something? Jin was a busy guy, you understood that much, all you had to do was wait and when he came home the two of you would be able to do something fun together.
That was what you kept telling yourself as you watched the time change on the clock, until it's past midnight and the front door is slamming shut. Okay, stargazing was always fun! Especially if you got creative and brought blankets out into the backyard.
Without a word, Jin was entering the room. He offered you a small smile before kicking his shoes off of his feet. You watched as he stripped his jeans from his body, tossing his shirt away in the corner before sinking onto the bed. “I'm beat. Will you turn out the light when you're finished?”
He spoke on a yawn, eyes falling closed as he slowly began to drift to sleep.
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YOONGI
[ 09:57 ] to- yoonfi ✩: you won't be busy all day, right?
[ 10:13 ] yoonfi ✩: nope, not all day. y?
[ 10:13 ] to- yoonfi ✩ : come home early! ive a surprise for you!!
To say your boyfriend was a hard worker would be the understatement of the century. Long hours spent in the studio, producing track after track, refusing to eat until he got the hook just right. He was so hard on himself, but with good reason, the boy was a genius when it came to making music.
The same could be said for his first mixtape, AgustD. You could perfectly remember the smile on his face when he let you listen to the completed version, the way it grew when it finally dropped and his fans loved it more than he had thought.
That was four years ago. Exactly. He had changed so much in the past four years, grown in so many ways and you were so proud of him. Which was why you were more than willing to spoil him on the four year anniversary of his mixtape.
Blessed that he didn't have a busy day, even though he told you that he didn't, you made sure to check with the others. Your boyfriend had the tendency to forget when there was something pending on their schedule.
According to them, though, he was free as a bird and you were ready to take advantage of the free time you'd have as soon as he finished his meeting this afternoon.
A little while after he left for work, you went out and bought an array of ingredients to prepare his favorite meal. Paired with his favorite brand of wine, you couldn't wait to see that smile of his once he walked through the door and caught whiff of what you made.
The food wasn't it, though. You also had splurged and bought him those speakers he had been eyeing for the past few weeks. Figured you'd surprise him with the gift after dinner, when he was relaxed in front of the TV just after you offered to give his back the massage it greatly deserved.
Then, of course, he'd be overwhelmed with happiness and here comes the wild monkey sex you'd have on the couch, and on the stairs, and on the bedroom floor, mapping out every inch of the room until you were falling onto the bed. Or something like that.
You had been so caught up in your plan and making sure that the food was just right, that it took you a moment to realize how late it had gotten. Way past the time Yoongi was supposed to be home.
With furrowed brows, you lifted your phone to dial him. His drawl of a 'hello' tickling your eyes after the third ring. “I thought you'd be home early?” You wondered after he moved to a quieter room to hear you better.
“I'm sorry, baby. I should've called. The meeting sucked so me and Joon have to come up with something new. It'll be all night, but I'll see you in the morning. Alright?” What were you to say? He had to work. Mumbling your agreement, you let the line go dead before plopping at the kitchen table.
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HOSEOK
You had thought that Hoseok flying in on the same day of your anniversary would be cutting it close. It was a 14 hour flight, there was no way he'd land in time to make the plans that you had stupidly planned and you didn't really want him to. He'd be so exhausted after flying and you were sure that all he'd want to do would be to get some rest.
But it was your three year anniversary and he wanted to celebrate, insisted that he wouldn't be too tired to spend time with you and marveled about how the only thing he wanted after a long flight was to be with you.
So, per his request, you were slipping into the silky dress he had sent over. Allowing his stylist to come and do your hair and makeup, again, per his request.  
Despite the fact that he wanted to keep where he was taking you a secret, you were able to convince him that it would be better if the two of you just met there in hopes to save time. He, reluctantly, agreed which was why you were seated alone in the restaurant he had so graciously rented out for the two of you.
Scanning over the menu over and over again, reading and rereading every word hoping to pass time. He should be here by now, right? Hobi was clear when he thought you that he'd be landing a little bit after eight and he had planned to come straight here from the airport. It was now 10, so what gives?
Lifting your phone, you frown at the message that you had somehow missed while studying the menu.
[ 21:22 ] hoseokie: princess!! our connecting flight was delayed. i won't be able to makee it :( sooo sorry, ill see you when i get back!
Your standing from your seat before you can read the end of the message, annoyed and overall disappointed. If only he had listened to you when you said over and over again that he wouldn't be able to make it.
At least the restaurant was empty, definitely saved you from looking as stupid as you felt in front of a room full of strangers.
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JIMIN
Six o'clock. He had repeated it countless times before leaving the house so where was he now that it was six o'clock? He knew how important this day was to you, how important it should be to him. So where was he?
Was it too much to ask to be with your boyfriend on the anniversary of the day you met? He had said he would be here, so why wasn't he sitting next to you on the stupid park bench, enjoying the picnic you had prepared?
You had met Jimin exactly a year ago today. Could still remember the smile that took over his features when he spotted you seated on this very park bench, exasperation tinting your cheeks as you leaned back in attempt to catch your breath.
He had plopped down beside you without a second thought, a lame joke falling from his lips one he used in hopes to cheer you up. It had worked, you had laughed and instantly fell for the large smile that seemed to light up his entire face.
The two of you had been inseparable since that day, falling in love with each other slowly as the days went by until he was asking you to move in with him five months into your relationship. You said yes, of course and these past months settled and together had been... not what you were expecting.
A nice place for the two of you to live meant that Jimin needed to become a bit more serious about his work and no matter how great of a dancer he was, the craft didn't really call for a steady check. Which was why you encouraged, not pushed, him to get a regular 9-5 that would benefit the both of you in the end.
That's what people in serious blooming relationships did. Started making plans for the future, preparing to take care of each other. And in no way, did you expect him to quit dancing – just dial it back a bit so you wouldn't go bankrupt.
Either way, you regretted the decision of both of you needing steady jobs because lately it was like the two of you had become ships in the night. Hardly seeing each other for more than an hour with your opposite hours. But tonight, he promised, assured you that he would make it and be able to make up all the time the two of you had lost.
You were excited, got dressed up, yet he was nowhere to be found. After a full hour of waiting or him, you were effectively annoyed and ready to pack up and leave. Just as you stood, your phone buzzed in your purse.
Setting your belongings back onto the bench with a huff, you're reaching into your purse and pulling out your phone. Jimin's name lighting up on the screen, only worsening your mood. Did he really wait a whole hour to text you that he wasn't going to be able to make it? Of course he'd miss it, it was obvious now after an hour.
[19:07] jiminie!: i know u must be pissed nd im sooo sorry.
[19:08] jiminie!: i came home early nd wanted to take a little nap, but overslept. [19:10] jimine!: come home, i've prepared something nice for us.
No matter how mad you wanted to be, how mad you knew you should be, you really couldn't bring yourself to be. The boy was tired and you loved him, asked this of him so the least you could do was be a little bit understanding.
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TAEHYUNG
The scowl doesn't leave your face not once the entire day. While you're cleaning up the house, while you're fixing lunch, while you're binge watching your favorite TV show. Pursed lips, raised brows and clenched teeth. You've been a foul mood all day and you had one person to thank for that.
The same person who rolled over half sleep nearly crushing you to death, but you didn't say anything because you loved him and loved being in his arms no matter the fact that you couldn't breathe underneath his weight. The same person that sprung up this morning, not a word about the meaning of today, just a grumbled: “Could you get breakfast ready?” As he pulled himself from he bed to go shower.
The same person that forgot your fucking anniversary and didn't even bat an eye when you brought up the date in hopes hearing the numbers would some how jot his memory. It didn't. What it did do, though, was remind him of the various things he had scheduled today with his little friends. Barely stopped to kiss you as he rushed out the door.
So your foul mood was his fault and you were planning to give him the cold shoulder until you were satisfied with the groveling he'd pull from being ignored. If there was one thing Taehyung hated was being ignored, you knew that more than anyone. One thing that you hated? When your so called boyfriend forgot the day that marked the start of your relationship.
You figured ignoring him would be fair.
Now, there was no way you didn't understand that Taehyung was a busy guy. He was always in and out of the house and so adamant about putting his all into his work and you admired that about him. You just never thought it would be some type of tug of war when it came to spending time with him. Especially on days as important as this one.
Punching the pause button on the remote, you reached to grab your phone cutting it's vibrating dance short as you read the message that had appeared on the screen.
[ 17:11 ] joon: happy anniversary. sorry we're stealing ur boyfriend :( what did he do this morning, though?
Ah, Namjoon their ever so considerate leader. Not a surprise that he'd be more attentive than your actual boyfriend on this day. How could someone, who was not even inside your relationship, wish you happy anniversary before your own man!?
[ 17:13 ] to joon: he forgot.
Tossing the phone beside you, the scowl on your face deepens as you glare at the characters on the screen. Stupid idiots, kissing and cooing as if their whole love story wasn't about to go to shit within the second act. How unfair. Taehyung would love bad mouthing shitty romcoms, but you had to be mad at him because he was a little shit.
Not even five minutes after the message sent to Namjoon was your phone dinging, Taehyung's specialized name lighting up your screen. Pfft, did he really need his friend to remind him of the day? How pathetic.
[ 17:17 ] boyfriend!!: baby!! oooh my god, im sooo... u know this isn't like me, i don't know what to say. we're in a radio interview now, but im rushing home right when it's over. pls, don't be upset. i mean i know ur upset, but lets at least try to salvage what left of the day we have. please. im soo sorry.
You thought, for a moment that you could be petty in this moment. Type back some snarky reply that you knew would make him feel some type of way. You just... didn't have the energy. Being forgotten about sucked, hurt in an odd way that you couldn't really explain.
Taehyung was a great boyfriend, but it was starting to get a little old the way he had your relationship on the back burner of his life. He was either with you, or not. Something's gotta give.
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JUNGKOOK
You knew from the moment the words left Namjoon's lips, your boyfriend wasn't going to find true peace ever again. Let alone be able to rest properly. Producer. Which brought on a new array of responsibilities that Jungkook to very seriously, as he should.
Much like your meticulous boyfriend, everything had to be absolutely perfect and anything short of that wasn't worth presenting. That exact mentality was the reason why he spent so many long hours in the studio, at dance practice. Going over and redoing each note, each step, until he was satisfied or until he was being dragged out.
It was more often the latter because this boy was never satisfied no matter how great everything he did ended up looking, sounding. He still strives to be the best, better than the best. So it was no surprise that you were seeing him much less when his new title was being announced.
Producer Jungkook. It was safe to say that he was stressed. Not to mention that he still had to keep up with choreography, singing, interviews and being the youngest of the biggest boy band in the world.
You understood that, so you didn't blame he when he was too tired to fool around. Didn't make a fuss when dinner plans had to be canceled. Agreed when he asked you to watch him, help him figure out what he was missing. You were always there for him when he needed you.
So it was completely fair that you'd get a little pissed when you asked the same for him and he didn't deliver. It wasn't like you were requesting something bizarre or out of the ordinary, honestly, you just wanted him to be home early to spend a few hours together for your anniversary.
Three months wasn't long, not that much of a milestone, but it was still exciting and you wanted to be with him. Especially since he's been like a ghost these past few weeks. Was it too much to ask that he was home for just one night? Just one night where he was Jeon Jungkook of BTS, but just your regular boyfriend.
His apology came two hours after he was supposed to show up. A short message explaining that he wouldn't be able to make it. Like you couldn't of guessed that. Still, you waited, his favorite show cued up and ready. The incoming message had you flicking the TV off with a huff, trudging up the stairs with a prominent pout of your lips.
The pout didn't lift from your lips the rest of the night and pretty soon you were slipping underneath the sheets, lip jutted. He missed dinner fine, five o'clock was a little early to ask someone to leave work. But was he really not even going to make the effort to get in before you had fallen asleep?
Guess not.
It wasn't until after one did you feel the bed shift, a tentative arm wrapping around your waist as a heavy breath left his lips. But you were in no mood to be cuddled, especially not by him. Fully awake and alert now, you were shoving his hand from your body, scooting away from him.
“Come on, baby. Please. Today's been so shitty, I just want to hold you.” You could hear the sadness in his voice. But what about you? Did he even consider that your day might have  been shitty too?
Forcing your eyes shut, you acted as if you had fallen back asleep. Back turned to him, because you could guess the sad look he had on his face. You couldn't bring yourself to turn around and give in, allowing yourself to be engulfed in him. Not tonight.
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astarfilledsea · 3 years
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got tagged by the lovely @sunsetsswerve 💖ty lovely
tag 9 people to know more about their interests, hobbies, etc. (no pressure!):
feel free to just look at my answers, dear friends :)) tagging @wistfullullabies @buckleys-diaz @ronanlyneh @eijunes
MUSIC
fav genre? it depends on my mood really, whatever im feeling is what i’ll put on but i do listen to pop/pop punk and alt rock lol not recently tho
fav artist? does this include bands? im gonna say yea: pvris / paramore / fob / dermot kennedy / jonas bros / halsey / hozier / bad suns / bts to name a few 
fav song? good to be alive - pvris is one of many
most listened song recently? your eyes tell - bts / b s&t orchestral cover
song currently stuck in your head? i was singing airplane pt. 2 earlier
fav lyrics? it’s just a spark, but its enough to keep me going / and when its dark out, no one’s around, it keeps glowing - last hope by paramore
radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume | slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on
BOOKS
fav book genre? fantasy / also really depends on what im feeling atm / also do enjoy manga as well
fav writer? i have a couple but i’ll say v schwab / erin morgenstern
fav book? too many, next q
fav book series? percy jackson / the raven cycle : those two are just....they’re books that i know i can go back to again and again and still love them also soc duology is good
comfort book? see above answer 
perfect book to read on a rainy day? oooh anything, really - leaving that
fav characters? percy jackson / ronan lynch
5 quotes from your fav book that you know by heart? here are some random ones bc i cant tell you 5 from just one:
the dam quote from titan’s curse
"In that moment, Blue was a little in love with all of them. Their magic. Their quest. Their awfulness and strangeness. Her raven boys."
"Plenty of humans were monstrous, and plenty of monsters knew how to play at being human."
“Strange isn’t it? To love a book. When the words on the pages become so precious that they feel like part of your own history because they are. It’s nice to finally have someone read stories I know so intimately."
“"Kaz leaned back. "What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?" "Knife to the throat?" asked Inej. "Gun to the back?" said Jesper. "Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina. "You're all horrible," said Matthias."
hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator  | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once
TV AND MOVIES
fav tv/movie genre? animation, comedy
fav movie? how to train your dragon is one of the many
comfort movie? she’s the man (even tho its been a long while since ive seen it)
movie you watch every year? i try to watch olive the other reindeer every year, its weirdly one of my fav christmas movies 
fav tv show? haikyu / diamond no ace / shadow & bone / vincenzo (even tho i have to finish it) 
comfort tv show? haikyu
most rewatched tv show? haikyu 
ultimate otp? vincenzo and the gold underneath that building / i feel like id answer this better if i watched more tv/movies but imma be real, i have not seen much of both
5 fav characters? see fav tv show, everyone in there is my fav
tv shows or movies | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once
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longliveteufort · 4 years
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@schnozzbun-art​ requested some details for the Our Way Playlist I made so i threw it under here! It’s long sorry :/ 
1. Father and Son - Cat Stevens: this song ended up being the main song i would listen to when i would get in the vibe of writing- to the point where i would reread the first chapter with it on to make sure that i was in the vibe lol. While not all the lyrics match, this song really nails the feeling of being a scared parent trying their best. Theres a lot of love in it, and i adore it. 
2. Brandy - Looking Glass: this playlist follows the story fairly loosely, so I wanted this to be Renee’s song. She’s fun and upbeat, and i thought that it really nails down what we THOUGHT Renee was at this point- just a pretty girl that falls in love with a rolling stone. 
3. Just When I Needed You Most - Randy VanWarmer: Renee dies u_u and I was trying to show that spy was very lost right after. 
4. I’m Not In Love - 10cc: whoops how many of these are on the guardians of the galaxy soundtracks rip  At this point we’ve hit the main story, and we have spy very curious of mundy and his intentions. I also dont think spy has really fallen for anyone since Renee, and I think he had himself convinced that he didnt want to find anyone else. this is that lol
5. Moonlight Serenade - Glenn Miller: now this is THE song of this fic lol. I used to play in a jazz band myself, and this song always was so dreamy. It’s slow and romantic with this strange note of longing. I love the old recording quality of it, u feel nostalgic for something u dont know. there were lyrics made later by other artists for singing, but they are just a tad too cheesy for my taste
6. La Vie En Rose - Edith Piaf: I used to listen to the orchestrated version of this song from Bioshock Infinite that u can find here. I enjoy both versions immensely, but the og one is what was on spotify so here we are lol. OH and spy is french, so yeah 
7. Something Stupid - Studio Sound group: The version I am most used to is Sinatra’s version that can be found here. This was the closest version i could find- but i adore this song as well, especially considering its a great consensual pining song. We also have sniper saying stupid lolll, all things considered it was fairly soon after they had met, and I think that was a scary thing for them. 
8. Love Me Like There’s No Tomorrow - Freddie Mercury: I fucking cry like 1 out of every 3 times of hearing this song i stg. If theres anyone that can do raw emotion its Freddie. I was looking for a song that conveyed the storming of the agency (and was upbeat for some other songs on the list) without being an action-y song. I debated putting this song in the playlist at all, hoping that it wouldnt be disrespectful to the source material and the origin of its creation. It’s an incredibly powerful experience for the ears.
9. In Our Bedroom After The War - Stars: once upon of time i was pretty sure on having one of the mercs die (NOT demo as a twist lol) This was something i later didnt like, but i still enjoyed this songs acknowledgement of others sacrifices (in this case, mostly Renee’s in terms of death) and the process of grief into victory. A bittersweet victory and looking forward to the future. 
10. Death Of A Bachelor - David Fowler: Panic! at the Disco did this song amazingly well, but it had a lot of electric beats and the whatnot that I think didn’t fit any of the other songs on the playlist, so I chose a nice cover. This is for spy, spy deserves a “im cool” song. It’s also a good transition into some more modern songs and upbeat I have near the end. 
11. My Type - Saint Motel: This was the last song added, but i LOVED how it tied in. The sax at the beginning, the use of “love comes wearing disguises”- it was just a fun song to add of them finally being open. I added 2 Saint Motel songs and I ended up placing them next to each other. Of the two, this one is more like Spy lmao. 
12. Cold Cold Man - Saint Motel: I loved this song for sniper, but i wasn’t dead set on adding it in until I had other more modern songs to back it up. I think (especially in this AU) he’s very reserved simply because he isn’t used to company but a side effect of this is also really attaching onto people he does care about. 
13. Moonlight Serenade - Lucky Chops: when looking for other recordings of this song to listen to I came across this and just KNEW it was like the “credits” song. I was blown away at how lovely the arrangement is. Here we have the dreamy tune played with a “hey everything turned out ok after all” vibe. All of Lucky Chops stuff is great btw please give them love 
14. My Way - Frank Sinatra: Hey when did I start this fic? May 2017? And when did the Kingsman 2 trailer come out??? April 2017?? What a WEIRD coincidence. This totally did not effect how I treated this AU. Not at all. I definitely didn’t name the fic after this song but in a weird way that no one got dkjvnsdvkjvnds  But honestly, Ive loved this song for years and it’s an amazing note to end on. 
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crafiet · 5 years
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1-50 of the writer’s ask thing, go!
BITCH UR RUDE AF
The Basics1.     Do you listen to music when you write?mostly yeah but it depends on my mood2.     Are you a pantser or plotter?both, i was a complete pantser up until recently but ive been trying to outline big scenes so i know where im going3.     Computer or pen and paper?computer for drafting. pen and paper for outlining/planning4.     Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?not published, dont wanna be5.     How much writing do you get done on an average day?none but yesterday i wrote 2k /shrug6.     Single or multiple POV?usually single but ive been trying multiple!! its hard!!! idk what voice is!!7.     Standalone or series?ugh again mostly standalone, but ive been dabbling in series8.     Oldest WIPmy spies one which went though a fantasy and scifi phase and was originally dystopian9.     Current WIPmy mages! i have no titles bc who10.  Do you set yourself deadlines?nup
The Specifics11.  Books and/or authors who influenced you the mostuhhhh to be fair im v easily influenced so if i read a book and really like it i subconsciously try to implement that style of writing or try out that genre in my own work12.  Describe your perfect writing spacea desktop next to a big open window where i can play music without headphones13.  Describe your writing process from idea to polisheduhhhh i dont have a finished wip yet so idk lol usually: idea→ characters→ plot→ spur of the moment 10k word vomit→ more planning, outlining→ more words→ repeat planning and drafting until finished14.  How do you deal with self-doubts?i just take a break, read some bad books, read some good books, look at writing tumblrs and just marinate for a bit before going back in15.  How do you deal with writer’s block?i perpetually have it and since i dont have deadlines or a publishing contract i just ride it out, writing is strictly a hobby for me16.  How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?i edit as i go, im onto draft 2 of my mages but its technically a rewrite bc i changed most of the plot17.  What writing habits or rituals do you have?i have none atm, but i usually pick a time where i know i wont be disturbed/distracted so usually at night18.  If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?idw collab sdkksdlkbnsd die19.  How do you keep yourself motivated?i just really really like my worlds lol conceited 20.  How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?i have!!! 5?
The Favourites21.  Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?oh mannngggg i like all my protagonists, ary is the easiest bc shes the one i work with the most, but its super entertaining to be in remy’s head, and i like calyp’s bc hers is so different AAHH22.  Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?remy and seth orrr red and kieran. if im answering this correctly? or do u mean types of pairings lol idk23.  Favourite authorhummm idk every author i really like have books i dont like so i cant say24.  Favourite genre to write and readfantasy25.  Favourite part of writingworldbuilding *.*26.  Favourite writing programgoogle docs. it would be word but im too poor to buy it lol27.  Favourite line/sceneidk if this is my favourite but“I am at least trying to be civil.”“I am being civil. You want me to yell at you? Turn into a wolf and fight it out like you’d want?”Kieran closed the file and stood. “I don’t—rem—”“Remember.”“I don’t remember you being so—” He searched for a word, but gave up and growled instead. Red got the idea.“Angry? Callous? I ought to reteach you the English language.”“I know how to speak,” Kieran blurted. “Remember, I spent twenty-four years a full human.”“And look how fast that’s disappeared.”28.  Favourite side characterwhat are side characters lol ENSEMBLE CASTS29.  Favourite villainossssshhhh probably michael bc i love him30.  Favourite idea you haven’t started on yetive started on all my wips im one of those bastards who can multitask
The Dark31.  Least favourite part of writingactually drafting lmao32.  Most difficult character to writeprobably christine bc shes meant to be relatable and down to earth and thats boring smh33.  Have you ever killed a main character?yes, not a pov one though34.  What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?probably any scene that requires a lot of research on a topic i know nothing about, like hacking or sword fighting or whatever35.  What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?bridging scenes suck theyre necessary but they SUCK
The Fun36.  Last sentence you wrote“My plan would go smoother with you involved, but I can find others. Many want his head.”37.  First sentence or your current WIPShe squinted in the harsh light.38.  Weirdest story idea you’ve ever hadugh this girl who could see deaths coming and she worked for the fbi but she was like 15 so she still had to go to highschool lol39.  Weirdest character concept you’ve ever hadprobably her, only bc i was 13 when i created her and was reading this banshee series but somehow didnt connect??? and didnt realise she was a banshee?? without the screaming40.  Share some backstory for one of your charactersomg all of my characters have purposefully murky backstories bc i find that trope cool af lol. i guess ary has that typical woe-is-me backstory where her parents were killed, she spiraled and got involved with the wrong people and then was betrayed and arrested lol
The Rest of It41.  Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?literally i swear by: trying anything out. fiddle with pov, tense, perspective, genre, character identity, hell take a story you like and try to put your own spin on it. writing as a craft only gets better with practice and my best work is when im going outside of the box/my comfort zone42.  How do you feel about love triangles?is this even a debate anymore, this trope got flamed so hard i havent seen it in ya in years. i dont really care about it43.  What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?good lol my outlines are usually done on the spot and i come up with more creative plots/scenes if i can think on it a bit44.  How much research do you do?i edit as i go so i research as i go. my pre-drafting research extends to saving links on things i might wanna write about and thats it lol. i would say i dont do as much as i should45.  How much world building do you do?a lot lol i LOVE worldbuilding. but i find it hard to incorporate it into my draft naturally so a lot of minute details get cut 46.  Do you reread your own stories?all the time lol i forget what i wrote half the time47.  Best way to procrastinatetwitter–OR if u wanna seem “productive”, writing blogs are a good way to get distracted48.  What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?bitch there was a time where i only wrote self insert characters lol49.  Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?im too lame to hang out with any of my characters. they would be nice to me but i wouldnt get to know them like how i know them from an author perspective50.  [Other question—ask me anything]u didnt ho
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arbane235 · 6 years
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So You Want The Burning Man Experience At Home
Kal Spelletich
August 21 at 10:21 PM
Once again!                                                                          
Since it is Burning Man Hate week, YOU! Can Do BURNING MAN AT HOME     1. Pay an escort of your affectional preference subset to not bathe for five days, cover themselves in glitter, dust, and sunscreen, wear a skanky neon wig, dance close to naked, then say they have a lover back home at the end of the night.
2. Tear down your house. Put it in a truck. Drive 10 hours in any direction. Put the house back together. Invite everyone you meet to come over and party. When they leave, follow them back to their homes, drink all their booze, and break things.
3. Stack all your fans in one corner of the living room. Put on your most fabulous outfit. Turn the fans on full blast. Dump the contents of a vacuum cleaner bag in front of them.
4. Buy a new set of expensive camping gear. Break it.
5. Only use the toilet in a house that is at least 3 blocks away. Drain all the water from the toilet. Only flush it every 3 days. Hide all the toilet paper.
6. Set your house thermostat so it's 50 degrees for the first hour of sleep and 100 degrees the rest of the night.
7. Before eating any food, drop it in a sandbox and lick a battery.
8. Spend thousands of dollars and several months of your life building a deeply personal art work. Hide it in a funhouse on the edge of the city. Hire people to come by and alternate say "I love it" and "this sucks balls". Blow it up.
9. Set up a DJ system downwind of a three alarm fire. Play a short loop of drum'n'bass until the embers are cold.
10. Make a list of all the things you'll do different next year. Never look at it.
11. Have a 3 a.m. soul baring conversation with a drag nun in platforms, a crocodile and Bugs Bunny. Be unable to tell if you're hallucinating. Lust after Bugs Bunny.
12. Cut, burn, electrocute, bruise, and sunburn various parts of your body. Forget how you did it. Don't go to a doctor.
13. "Downsize" last year's camp by adding two geodesic domes, a new sound system, art car, and 20 newbies.
14. Don't sleep for 5 days. Take a wide variety of hallucinogenic/emotion altering drugs. Pick a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend.
15. Spend a whole year rummaging through thrift stores for the perfect, most outrageous costume. Forget to pack it.
16. Shop at Wal-mart, CostCo, and Home Depot until your car is completely packed with stuff. Tell everyone that you're going to a "Leave-No-Trace" event. Empty your car into a dumpster.
17. Read "Dhalgren" by Samuel R. Delany. Read "The City Not Long After" by Pat Murphy. Cut off the bindings, throw all the pages up in the air and shuffle them back together. Reread "The City After Dhalgren" by Samuel Murphy. Burn it. Read the ashes.
18. Listen to music you hate for 168 hours straight, or until you think you are going to scream. Scream. Realize you'll love the music for the rest of your life.
19. Spend 5 months planning a "theme camp" like it's the invasion of Normandy. Spend Monday-Wednesday building the camp. Spend Thurs-Sunday nowhere near camp because you're sick of it or can't find it.
20. Walk around your neighborhood and knock on doors until someone offers you cocktails and dinner.
21. Bust your ass for a "community." See all the attention get focused on the drama queen crybaby.
22. Get so drunk you can't recognize your own house. Walk slowly around the block for 5 hours.
23. Tell your boss you aren't coming to work this week but he should "gift" you a paycheck anyway. When he refuses accuse him of not loving the "community".
25. Search alleys until you find a couch so unbelievably tacky and nasty filthy that a state college frat house wouldn't want it. Take a nap on the couch and sleep like you are king of the world.
26. Ask your most annoying neighbor to interrupt your fun several times a day with third hand gossip about every horrible thing that's happened in the last 24 hours. Have them wear khaki.
27. Go to a museum. Find one of Salvador Dali's more disturbing, but beautiful paintings. Climb inside it. Wake up covered in vomit with an IV in your arm.
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gray-anxiety · 5 years
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No Sympathy Facts/ the chaos of my brain
I kept forgetting the damn name
Legit
Like “No… no wHAT????? Oh”
Aella is a name associated with storms and wind, so I gave her that name because I wanted someone who really did embody that
I kept wanting to spell Aella’s name allen smh
This book started when i finally got off my ass and convinced myself to do a mafia au. The entire plot was pulled out of my ass in a period of brainstorming that kept me up until 5:30 the next morning
I actually sketched out the apartment’s layout so I could see it better.
later I actually designed a messy version of what it’d somewhat be like in the sims
Karanese is actually a district in the Attack on Titan universe :)
Each chapter takes me like 2 hours to write simply because I play out each and every ending in my head and choose the best one I’d want to see in a story
Other times I legit just have a feeling like I absolutely know how a chapter plays out like Chapter 3’s murder fight scene. It just came to me and all I had to do was describe it like I had just watched a movie
Chapter one took a total of seven hours to write
The plot twists were created when I asked myself what cliche can I change?
(Except I kept a few just to make fun of it I.E. roommates and badboy x nerdy character because that shit is hilarious and can really show the dynamic of how different each character really is)
Chapter two bore me to death to be honest
An actual example of my brainstorming while writing down facts:
I have no idea what the fuck to do after chapter 3 help
I pretty much said fuck it to planning out a plot and just wung it
Where am I gonna place Hange and the others
What about Eren lol
OH SHIT I JUST HAD THE IDEA THAT HANGE AND AELLA WERE FRIENDS BEFORE AELLA WAS KICKED OUT AOUFHALIUEHFALIUEHF
THEY’D TOTALLY BE LESBIANS FOR EACH OTHER
How’d you come up with the name for No Sympathy?
hilarious answer, actually. I spent two damn hours laying on my bed googling “what’s your mafia nickname” to just messing around with broken languages on google translate until it just popped in my head. Pretty much I was like “oh shit that sounds lit and fearsome lets do it bois” and yeah
I’m actually making this list of fun facts while writing each chapter. I’m going to start working on chapter 4 tomorrow and hopefully get my shit together to make a somewhat good plot??
Lmao I lied I got really fucking lazy and wrote the chapter at 11 at night and published it at midnight
I wrote everything about no sympathy in one iCloud note and titled it “No sympathy; the complete chaos of making a book”
The true main character of No Sympathy is actually Levi since I feel like I understand him completely since I relate to him so much; making Levi the easiest character I’ve written about ever. Though, his true character (in my opinion) doesn’t necessarily shine through in the beginning chapters as Levi don’t get along with new people, but you can see him warm up to Aella by doing her homework, dragging her out of the party, etc.
I’ve realized I have a distinct writing pattern while writing No Sympathy: comma, semi-colon, double dash. (Chapters two and three really showcase it as I wrote those two back to back in the car)
Had I actually had the inspiration and the motivation to write this almost a year ago, I would’ve been writing about the mafia at 13, which is an absolute hilarious thought to think about when I look back to my previous fanfics. Then again, my dumbass 14-year-old self is just as clingy as my dumbass 13-year-old self lmaoo
I gave Aella the same birth day (not year lmao) as mine (September 10) so she’d be 17 during the first month of school and 18 for the rest of the book
Going off of that fact, Levi is exactly 1 year and 8 months older than Aella (I kept his original birthday)
My cat demanded that I gave him cuddles and attention so I had to stop writing for one entire day because he wanted cuddles
Normally my cat just lays on my chest while I write b u t n o he wanted cuddles
If Levi never came into the picture Aella would probably date Hanji (for all of those fellow LGBTQIA+ readers and readers that really love Hanji)
While writing chapter 1 I listened to Ghost by Halsey on repeat and I think if you read while playing the exact song it somewhat shows in the pace I set for readers.
The term ‘block class’ is actually derived from what my own high school (even though I’m not even fully considered a freshman yet jfc) uses when referring to a 90 minute class
The book Technically begins on a Saturday with Levi — the actual power duo meet that Monday (because unlike dumbass schools in real life, their first day of school was on a Monday instead of the Friday before.) on their first day. That Tuesday was chapter 4, Wednesday being chapter 5, Thursday being chapter 6 (we skip Friday because it doesn’t fucking matter in the story lmao), and Saturday being the day of the party.
Writing an x reader but without the reader was really fucking hard, honestly. I couldn’t just randomly say ‘Levi looked over at the H/C girl working on her homework across from him’ as it’d just be weird, so I thought of the next best thing and never described Aella — making her free for interpretation of her looks.
I was going to have Aella have a name reveal like ‘my real name is Y/N…’ but then I was like “No what? Fuck it. Levi already knew from the beginning after looking at her documents.”
No Sympathy was actually going to be an original story, but Levi’s character fit so well I decided to make it a fanfic.
I actually wanted to stop writing after chapter 3 because I didn’t know what to do with the plot, but I asked my friend for help coming up with the plot using the paragraphs of ideas I had to make an actual plot. So, I can successfully say I owe it to her for helping and the one sentence that kept me going in my head: “I want to make a story I’m proud of.” So I fucked up my (nonexistent, really lmao) sleeping and eating schedules and started working on this book everyday even when I didn’t post a chapter that day.
Though, it’s not really specified in the early chapters, Aella was bullied into being hated by the entire school — leaving her to be all alone, which actually happened to me and gave me PTSD after transferring.
Ironically, I gave Aella a ton of reactions and characteristics I would/ just generally have, but I see myself more in Levi, which is probably why I prefer writing about him over Aella.
As of writing this, chapter 5 is currently my favorite chapter as it is a mix of a filler chapter and a regular important chapter still just as important as the rest.
Depression and PTSD actually got in the way of writing so many times I actually am surprised I’ve written so much
As writing has always been my go to for letting out everything (as I have z e r o close friends lmao) I actually don’t realize when I’m done with each chapter until I realize I’m out of ideas for said chapter.
I don’t even realize I write about 2,000 words until it’s like “oh,,”
No Sympathy wasn’t just any fanfic for me, it was like I was actually Aella seeing the entire story unfold from beginning to finish
I tried to push myself to describe more, as I’ve noted while rereading my previous shitty fanfics — I struggled describing everything.
I tried to not have the basic “tch”, “brat”, and just random cursing from Levi unless it was at the exact wrong time (or I just put it in because I could totally see him saying that in said situation)
I tried characterizing Hanji as someone who wasn’t the basic overexcited dumbass most fanfics portray her as — instead I tried thinking of her as an actual person with reactions and different moods  and tried to embody that each time I wrote her
Character development is a huge thing Ive been trying to work on ever since I wrote A Valkyrie and a Mischievous God (though that character development and story sucked ass and I cringe at how popular it’s gotten), and a huge target for it was none other than Aella. At the beginning you could see she felt trapped in an endless cycle of stress and fending for herself, but when Levi came in and was like “lmao I have money you don’t have to stress” she felt like she was in an odd spot, and eventually after she reunited with Hanji she started to feel more free
Parents were completely cut out of this story because I genuinely don’t know how to write them as mine are either states away by choice or always working, so I just had Aella get kicked out and had her entire family gone.
My best ideas surface at 4 am when I’m trying to fucking sleep
Help me
But hey I now have a new passion for this book
I generally didn’t know how to end it
buT THEN I D I D
A huge thing for me, and my entire driving motion for writing this was a simple sentence: “I want to write something I’m proud of.”
Am I proud of this?
Eh. It’s not shitty, I suppose. I could always do better.
Characterization was so difficult for me. I wanted to stray from basic fanfics of an overly hyper Hange (though, I couldn’t help in some situations, but after watching an entire season and a half in one day, you notice personality changes) and write and more serious one — except I’m a damn shitty author with so many grammatical mistakes my ex-mentor would literally rip her hair out.
Writing a book has always been my goal, and I know this is the only thing that will ever come close to it.
I have another Levi x reader planned, but I always hate doing the basic ‘_____’ ‘Y/N’, etc because it literally drives my depressed self I n s a n e when writing
Most times for my outline summaries of the chapters I just put my name in place of Aella lmao
I actually struggled a lot when writing this; sometimes I even broke down thinking no one liked this book or I wasn’t a good enough author to write anymore.
My asshole self mainly spent my summer writing this rip
Currently, as it is July 2nd, I am literally hoping to Levi that I fucking get this done before August or else I’m so fucking screwed with beginning high school and shit.
Oh yeah btw, I’M NOT FUCKING READY FOR THE FINAL SEASON. I’LL BE A DAMN SOPHOMORE AND THAT IN ITSELF K I L L S ME
I don’t know if I’m actually going to continue with this book, but have these collected facts I started writing the moment the first chapter was out :,) It’s already September and my past dumbass was right
High school is kicking my ass
I have another story idea/plot written out and I really like it so idk. I think I’d stop halfway again because I’d think that no one would like it
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