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certifiedjaeger · 2 years

Note

For your prompts, may I get, "wanna bet?" With my hubby Jean? 😭❤

♡ certifiedjaeger’s 800 event ♡

Character: Jean Kirschtein x fem!reader

Prompt: “Wanna bet?”

Word Count: 2K

A/N: okay listen….hear me out……you said hubby and I took that literally 😌💕 so here is dad!jean (also your husband 🤤) being cute with your baby!! he’s so sweet, I actually need to scream to someone about it (this is pure fluff, enjoy!)

Even Masterlist

“Okay, come on. Hand her over.”

You stand in front of your husband–with arms outstretched and your smile wide as ever–beckoning him to relinquish the protective hold he has on your fourteen-month-old.

“You want to see mommy, sweet pea?” Jean sweetly asks his daughter as she excitedly begins to babble at your familiar form appearing in the small nursery that she and him had just been playing in. He watches the tinier version of you in his arms with a content smile; staring down at her as she stretches her little hands out to you. A quiet chuckle leaves his lips and he decides to happily oblige both of your requests; standing up to place his daughter in your arms and watching his two favorite girls with a particularly sweet expression on his face.

“See, she’s definitely a mommy’s girl,” you sound triumphant as you smirk at Jean, putting your little one on your hip and bobbing her up and down a bit as she erupts into a fit of giggles.

“Oh?” He raises a brow. “I don’t know… she does like me quite a bit,” Jean boasts lightheartedly, looking a bit smug as the words leave his lips. You give him a playful side eye, making a small tch noise as you do so. You know that your daughter is sort of… okay, scratch that– you know that your daughter is completely obsessed with him. But a little teasing never hurt anybody…

“No, no… she definitely likes me more,” you gloat in a joking manner. “She loves her mommy, doesn’t she?” You speak directly to her now in an overly sweet and excited tone, smiling widely at her as she mimics your huge grin, “You love your mommy, don’t you?”

You hear Jean snort at your more than obvious attempt of getting your daughter to somehow agree with you and pick you over him. He thinks it’s cute, however. He actually loves it, he decides– How playful you are with both of them. How sweet your teasing is. You hear him let out another small, content sigh as he comes up behind you and laces his arms around your waist, looking over your shoulder at his little one in your arms.

“Well… I guess that makes two of us,” he lowers his head to give your shoulder a gentle kiss, watching as your little mini-me instantly finds his eyes; a huge grin spreading on her face as she starts giggling.

“Hey, no fair– that’s cheating” you whine, slightly pouting as you nudge him away playfully. “You’re distracting her… come on, let her spend time with her favorite,” you say as you hold her tight to your chest, hearing her giggles get a bit louder now as you try to hide her from her dad.

“Her favorite?” He replies in an amused tone. With brows raised, he leans to the side and instantly finds your beautiful familiar face; small giggles leaving your lips that are almost too hard to hear over his daughter’s louder ones. He stares down at you through narrowed eyes, a small smile gracing his lips as he cheekily pinches your side.

“Hey!” The small yelp you let out mixes in with your laughter as you scold him, turning around in his grip to properly face him now. “And yes! I carried her around for nine months and had to give birth to her–” you quiet your laughter, doing your best to sound serious (but failing) as you raise a brow at him, “...so I better be her favorite.”

Another snort escapes him at your slightly threatening tone; his low, amused chuckling filling your ears as he strokes your cheek lovingly, his eyes twinkling with a bit of mischief now as they stare down at you. The little one in your arms instantly reaches out to him; her little arms stretching as far as they can manage, trying her absolute best to get to her daddy as her excited noises begin to fill the space between you two.

“Hm,” his face softens as he lets his daughter hold onto one of his fingers; her tiny fist wrapping around the much larger digit, causing his heart to ache in his chest from how tiny she was. “Sorry to say it, babe– But I think she’s definitely a daddy’s girl,” he muses playfully.

“Oh?” You raise a brow before narrowing your eyes, “Wanna bet?”

Jean raises his eyes to yours, the little competitive smile you give him only makes that warm and welcoming ache in his chest grow. A smile comes to his own lips now, only it isn’t competitive. No, it’s completely smug as he teases you, tracing one of his fingers from his unoccupied hand down your arm, enjoying the sight of your brows furrowing together in feigned annoyance.

“Baby… I would, but I don’t want you to get sad–”

“Oh my god, you’re infuriating,” you cut him off with an amused smile. The taunting drawl of his arrogant voice and the insinuation that he already knew what the outcome would be of a bet concerning his daughter and which parent she preferred– well, that combination really made you want to prove him wrong. Even if you also knew what the outcome of that bet would be, as well. Even if you knew you stood absolutely no chance in trying to prove him wrong. Because truth be told, your daughter actually is obsessed with him; fully, completely, and wholeheartedly obsessed with her father, loving him with everything she had in that little beating heart of hers. Not that you can exactly blame her… you share similar feelings when it comes to this particular man.

“Okay, how about this, baby,” you let out a quiet giggle at your own teasing remark, leaning up to place a quick peck against his lips before then walking away a couple of feet and placing your daughter gently on the soft carpet. “Let’s see who she crawls to.”

Jean stares across the small distance at you with an expression that says… really? He can’t help but to smile, however, at his daughter already reaching out for him, her excited eyes meeting his own, making him instantly crumble at the adorable sight. “Alright,” he resigns, sitting on the floor and stretching his long legs out, watching as you rush over to sit beside him. “Just don’t be a sore loser when–”

“Oh, shush!” You lightly smack his arm as you start cooing at your daughter and beckoning her over to you. You know it’s a hopeless feat, and yet, you still do your best to fight for your daughter's affection. Meanwhile, Jean just sits there, admiring his little one trying her best to stand up on her wobbly feet. That seems to be the one thing you both can agree on right now: She is simply too adorable. She manages to get up on her feet, falling slightly before then getting back up and reaching her arms out toward your husband; a huge grin plastered on her face while doing so. Her smile is wide as she makes little excited noises, tiny hands grabbing at nothing but air as she clumsily moves forward. Her eyes–the same warm color as her dad’s–seem to be dead set on the one person she excitedly does her best to hurry to– Jean.

And you can’t believe it. Well… you can actually. But you pretend not to, anyways. She reaches her dad and he is just as excited as she is as he picks her up and throws her slightly in the air, catching her in his large hands and quickly hugging her to his chest. Her animated giggles and his proud praises fill your ears as you wear an exaggerated shocked expression on your face, taking in the adorable–only slightly hurtful–sight.

You had known all along that she would immediately go to him. After all, she loved her dad. That’s not to say that she didn’t love you, of course. (There were even some days where she only wanted to be with you). But there was simply no denying the special connection that those two had. They’ve been partners in crime since the day she was born, true best friends who were equally as obsessed with one another. There was simply no denying that she was indeed a daddy’s girl. Which is why you aren’t upset in the slightest as you watch them together. No, you actually feel grateful for being able to witness something as sweet as the love of your life dote on your little girl; it makes your heart feel warm in your chest to gaze over at your two favorite people and see them love each other so openly. You only wish that you could live in this moment for just a little longer.

However, you still feel the need to tease your sweet husband. Just a little bit more… And if you can’t prove him wrong through a bet–which you failed, if I may add–then you at least want to make him feel a little bad about the end result of said bet. If only for a second, at least.

“What about mommy?” You adorn a pout, staring doe eyed at him and your daughter; feigned sadness covering your face in the hopes of getting some affection from them, as well. The look you give both of them breaks his heart from how adorable he finds it.

Before his daughter was born, he used to think that you were the absolute cutest thing this world had ever created. However, his daughter had instantly taken that title from you the day she was born (something you wholeheartedly agreed with). And yet, there were still some moments–such as this one–where you really gave her a run for her money.

He instantly leans forward and kisses your pout away. He’s quick to attack your face with little featherlight kisses; placing them eagerly to your cheeks, your nose, your jaw, your lips (again), really anywhere he can manage. He hears his little one giggling to match the soft laughter of her mother’s; the noises filling the small, dim nursery sounding especially sweet to him. He smiles to himself as he places one last kiss to your forehead, letting his lips linger slightly before then gently pulling away.

“We love mommy,” he looks down at this daughter. “Mommy’s our favorite person, huh?” He sweetly asks his daughter in an eager tone, watching as her eyes light up as she begins to babble excitedly.

“I don’t know…” your voice drawls skeptically as your face fills with feigned doubt. The corners of your mouth lift into a tiny smile and Jean instantly feels the need to kiss you all over again. His mind only seems to fill with one resounding thought: I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you.

“I think you were right,” you distract him from his thoughts suddenly. He watches as you look down fondly at your daughter in his arms; nothing but love in your eyes as you let her hold onto your finger. “I think she is a daddy’s girl.”

He lets out a soft huff of a chuckle, leaning forward to capture your lips once more and smiling when you sweetly kiss him back. He pulls away after a second, leaving his lips a millimeter from yours as he whispers against them.

“Well, I guess she takes after her mommy.”

You instantly whip your head back and look at him with an incredulous smile. “Jean!” you scold, lightly smacking his arm as you hear him begin to laugh.

“What? You know it’s true!”

#jean kirschtein #jean kirschtein imagines #jean kirschtein imagine #jean kirschtein oneshot #jean kirschtein fic #jean kirschtein fluff #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirschtein x y/n #jean kirschtein x you #aot fluff #attack on titan fluff #aot imagines #attack on titan imagines #aot fic #attack on titan fic #banannie's 800 event <3 #my writing

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fqiryspit · 1 year

Text

miserable.

summary: reader tries to go to a friendly get-together she was invited to, just to realize no one wants her there.

the bright glare of the stop light blinded your vision as you finally stopped your car.

you have no one.

absolutely no friends

you grip your wheel tighter, knuckles popping at the sudden move and your eyes blurring.

you don't even know why you went. this friendly get-together was obviously interrupted by you. no one wanted you there.

you walked up to jean first, saying hi as he just kinda stood there

"hi uh-"

uh. he doesn't know your name. you feel embarrassment flood through you instantly before connie ran up and through tears of laughter started retelling a story.

connie didn't even look at you either. you sniffed awkwardly and backed up. you suppose you only talked to them on a couple of occasions, that's fine.

you felt the car stop at another light, fuck you forgot you were even driving. you now saw the pile of tears on your jeans and felt your aching throat, sobbing silently in your car like a loser.

you brushed that interaction off and went up to the people you did know, eren, mikasa, and armin of course.

you're only here because armin invited you. being his friend in this tutor group you both formed it was nice of him to invite you here, you were gonna have fun.

walking up to eren leaning against the wall casually you said hi and he just shot a quick smile before locking eyes with mikasa who walked right in front of you, stepping on your foot.

she felt your shoe immediately and spun around, you saw eren putting his hand in front of his mouth to hide his laughter and your entire body ran cold, embarrassed yet again.

"oh, I'm sorry!" mikasa said, two cups full of alcohol in her hand as she wore wide worried eyes at you. well...at least someone is talking to you

"no its-" then she spun back around and gave eren his drink, who now had a red face and a smile from laughing so hard.

you turned around, stepping away, careful with your steps, now worried to embarrass yourself further

you heard eren snicker behind you and mikasa hitting his shoulder

"shush eren! don't be so rude, I think that's connie friend..she was just trying to be nice"

they didn't even remember you. fuck you were gonna cry. you didn't have tears in your eyes yet but your throat ached so hard like you were gonna let a sob out.

there's armin, fucking finally. you walked over to him, he was pouring drinks in the kitchen and you started to feel a lot more comfortable

"hey armin"

he looked over at you for a second and looked right back to the drinks he was preparing

"oh, hey. didn't think you'd make it" he mumbled while mixing some off-brand soda with whisky and you just felt your knees buck

"well...you invited me. of course, I'd show up" you reminded him, hoping to jog his memory that he must have invited you for a reason, that maybe he wanted to be your friend

"mm." he hummed simply before grabbing the drinks and swerving past you like you were blocking his way in the wide hallway

you felt your eyes burn and just walked out the door. running to your car as tears pooled out of your eyes.

you're so embarrassed. you have no friends. zero. you joined clubs and thought you made one but he just pitied you. he couldn't even stand you that long and not to mention his friends hated you to

you're aren't some new girl trying to find which group she's good in either. you're graduating soon and you don't even have new numbers in your contacts, just family who brush you off on the rare chance they call.

you ached for someone just to talk to, just someone. anyone. you don't have to have anything in common with them, just a warm body to just air your problems out and them to respond with something more than an "mm."

you're so fucking miserable and as you park your car in this weird ass parking lot to go up into the apartment that's every shade of tan, you know you're just gonna be as alone as you always will be. because people can't fucking stand you.

an: hope you guys have a good wednesday

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jeankirsteinsgrlfrnd · 4 months

Note

yesss pleaseeee write the stalker!jean y/n as a drabble!!! like Jean is just soo 😫i just know he would be a good asl stalker, especially since he is super tall and mysterious 😫

lurk

pairing: jean kirstein x f!reader

word count: 1.7k +

a/n: i didnt proof read this but also this came out super cute but like also terrifying but ily pookie bear jean

tw: stalking, manipulation, drinking, etc

it was cold tonight, nearly below freezing in shiganshina. you hated the cold, you dreaded being bundled up in a billion layers only to still be shivering. however, it was almost christmas and you were running behind on shopping. fortunately for you, the streets were quiet. nobody wanted to be out in this weather. you weren't afraid of the dark. often times, you embraced the peace that came from walking the street alone at night. despite being a woman, shiganshina was a relatively safe city.

the streets and sidewalks were lined with a thing layer of snow with flurries still falling from the sky. there's a glow of warmth from the street lines as you duck into the nearest store. it's a small boutique that's much warmer than outside. there are mannequins strewn about, various pieces on displays and a small jewelry section in the back. you decide to head to the back of the store and work your way up front.

despite being a small array of options, the jewlery they had was beautiful. you pick up a small white box were two silver earrings in the shape of hearts like. you frown as you slide a finger down the side of the container. they were pretty, but it wasnt something your mother would like and that's who you were here for, after all. you ponder getting them for yourself but your face drops when you remember your budget. you sigh and put them back on the shelf while you put your mother first.

as you set them down, you can't shake the feeling of being watched. no, you were definitely being watched. you slowly turn your head around and an exhale when you don't see anybody with their eyes on you. just a few other women browsing about and the shop owner who's ringing up a tall man's purchase. you shake your head. christmas time was always stressful for you and it's certainly showing now.

after finding a suitable necklace for your mom, you bring it up to the cashier. the cashier is a sweet, older lady who is smiling as hard as she can. you feel bad that she has to be out at work during the cold and make small talk about how you'll need to do your holiday baking tomorrow. she laughs and tells you that she's running behind too, and that she's sure you'll get your cookies done in time.

the walk back to your apartment building isn't so bad despite the howling wind. you remind yourself to be thankful for the snow, knowing the toll global warming would eventually take. on the opposite side of the street, there's a nice black car with tinted windows. you take a moment to wonder who was lucky enough to drive such a luxurious car, as you've seen it around town before. quite often actually. although, you've never seen it on your street before. you didn't live in the nicest part of town and you assume it must be somebody's family member visiting for the holidays. you head into the builiding, unaware of the pair of eyes staring at you from within the car.

unfortunately, the next day isn't any warmer. you're smart this time and decide to go shopping early in the day instead of having to brave the cold, harsh night. you drive to the nearest grocery store; your kitchen was tragically empty and lacking all of the ingredients needed to make your famous christmas cookies.

in the baking aisle of the store, you stare at the plethora of options that could either make or break your dessert. you grab a bag of chocolate chips and peanut butter chips. you spin on your heel, ready to move farther down the aisle. classically, you bump right into somebody and unfortunately the carton of eggs you had tucked under your arm before coming to this aisle heads straight to the ground. the lid pops open and eggs fall out, cracking on the ground. ultimately, they crack and the yolks splatter onto your shoes and up your paint leg a little. you let out a gasp and look up into the eyes of a handsome stranger.

his hazel eyes widen as he looks at splattered eggs on your clothing. "i'm so sorry, i didn't see you there." he looks for a way to help you but he's failing.

"it's fine," you sigh. "it's christmas time and we're all in a rush. plus, i'm a little clumsy." you blush as you feel his eyes give you a once over. you clear your throat and his eyes come back up to land on yours.

"i'm the clumsy one this time. i really am sorry. could i at least pay for your stuff?" he tilts his head. you realize just how tall he is as he looms over you, waiting for an answer.

"no, that's alright, really. it's my fault, i told you i'm clumsy. stuff like this happens to me alot." you admit, turning more red by the second. he laughs and rubs the back of his neck. his laugh is deep and hearty.

"oh, c'mon, how else are those cookies going to get made?"

"how did you know i was going to make cookies?" you ask, raising a brow at him. he clears his throat and points at the bags in your arms.

"you're in the baking aisle, after all. eggs and chocolate chips are also two of the most important things when it comes to cookies." he laughs and you feel embarrassed at your stupid question. obviously he knew you were going to be baking, it's that time of year and you are holding the ingredients for them. you laugh with him and choose to accept his generosity, appreciating not having to spend your own money, especially since it was a little tight right now.

after picking out a new carton of eggs, you and the handsome stranger head to the check out line. "my names jean, by the way." he says as he hands the clerk his card. he looks down at you.

"i'm (y/n)." you tell him. he nods his head. he hands you the plastic bag filled with your now paid for groceries. you two walk out of the store together when all of a sudden, he stops you.

"this might be a little cliche and a little too fast, but would you like to go to dinner with me tomorrow? just feel really bad 'bout the eggs 'n all." he shrugs as he makes sure his joke lands.

you know what, what the hell?

"sure, jean."

after exchanging numbers, you two head off in your own separate directions. back at your apartment, the fancy car is still there, just in a slightly different position. you think about how nice it must be to have family come to visit as you head inside.

tomorrow night comes quicker than expected. you had knots in your stomach all morning and you find them still lingering into the evening. you take your time getting ready for your date with jean and you can't shake the feeling of anxiety nestling into your chest.

later on, you park your car at the restaurant jean had texted you to meet him at. it's a high end restaurant and you're relieved you chose to wear one of your nicest dresses and an overcoat. as you make your way to the front door, you see that same black car, tucked neatly into one of the back parking spots. you shake your head as you head into the restaurant.

jean is dressed to the nines. if you thought he was handsome yesterday, you thought he fucking looked deadly tonight. if looks could kill.

jean smiles as you take a seat across from him. you give him a shy smile as you watch him take in your appearance. there's a glimmer of hunger in his eyes that makes you want to sink into your seat. you're self conscious as his eyes devour you but his words come out so calmly. "you look really good."

"thank you." quiet are the words that manage to come from your lips.

you spend the evening making talk of all sort of topics ranging from the weather to the casual, heated arguments about aliens and if they existed or not. you really enjoy your time, finding it n yourself to indulge in a bottle of wine. jean offers to pay for the entire meal as your plates becomes empty. you laugh and make a joke about how rich he must be. he just chuckles in return.

you start to realize just how drunk you are. the heat in your cheeks is radiating and you feel like you're vibrating, just a little. jean hasn't taken his eyes off you once.

"before you go," he starts. he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, white box. "i got you something. now, i know we just officially met but i couldn't help myself."

the words go right over your head as you reach across the table for the little container. you take the lid off and gasp. the pair of little, silver hearts from the store the other night. you become a stuttering mess. "h-how did you.."

your brain begins to move a thousand miles a minute, flashing different pictures your eyes have collected the last few days. it's the black car you've seen all over town. the tall man in the boutique. the black car parked on your street. the feeling of being watched. the cookies. the earrings. the car in a different position.

your words fall out in a whisper as you drop the box onto the table. "you..." jean tilts his head and smirks. he can see the realization in your eyes and the hunger in his grows. you feel helpless in this crowded restaurant, not wanting to make a scene. he watches your rosy cheeks turn pale.

"me? what about me, (y/n)?" his words are condescending.

"you've been watching me. stalking me." you hiss under your breath, hoping it comes out as confident but jean picks up on the shakiness on your voice.

"hmm..? what was that?" you can see the thrill he's getting. you don't answer him. you reach to where you set your phone on the table at the beginning of the date. it isn't there. “oh, my silly (y/n.) you've drank a whole bottle of wine. just however will you get home?"

my jean fanfiction

my ko-fi

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softxsuki · 9 months

Note

i love the aesthetic of your blog so much and you’re an incredibly talented writer!! your works are super comforting to me and i always look forward to seeing them in my feed. i’ve read your note as well & you’re so thoughtful trying to create content for people having a tough time. i appreciate you! :)

i was wondering if you could do something with jean kirschtein helping a reader fall asleep and/or just being comforting and taking care of them when they’re sad or not feeling well/fatigued? i would love to see this as a oneshot and leaning romantic and fem!reader but as the writer please take the liberty to do what’s easiest or most comfortable for you!! i saw you have a lot of requests pending so if you can’t get to this, i completely understand and no worries!! thank u so much <33 have a wonderful week 🤍

Jean Helps S/O Fall Asleep

Pairing: Jean x Fem!Reader

Warnings: slight kissing, feeling anxious, not being able to sleep

Genre: Fluff, Comfort (kinda)

Post-Type: Oneshot (surprisingly)

Word Count: 1k

Summary: In which you sneak to the men's barracks to find Jean after struggling to fall asleep at night

[A/N: Oh wow hi! Thank you so much for the compliment. My blog theme is different now, but I hope you still like it JEKAFE. I finally got to your request, I just hope you're still around to read it (lemme know if you are <3) I hope I did alright. For some reason I suck so bad at writing for Jean. I'm working on it though T-T. Hope you're doing well, enjoy <3]

It was dark as light snores filled the room; yet you were still very much awake. No matter how long you kept your eyes closed, sleep never came. Was it the anxiety that filled your heart, wondering when you’d all have to go into action? Or was it the little issues in your life that kept popping back into your mind, making you restless? There were an endless number of possibilities, yet you couldn’t pinpoint which one it was exactly. For all you knew it could have been a mixture of all those things and more.

It was way past curfew and you knew going to the men’s barracks would probably get you into a lot of trouble if Levi or any of your other superiors caught you, but you needed to see your boyfriend, Jean. Having met him through the Survey Corps, you’d been together for a few years now and Jean very quickly became the one you relied on the most. If anyone could help bring peace to your restless mind so you could get some sleep, it would be him. So, you sneak out of your bed, careful not to wake Sasha who was asleep in the bunk above you; she’d definitely be too loud if you woke her accidentally.

Slipping on your boots, you sneak out of the woman’s barracks and head towards the men’s barracks which wasn’t too far away, though you had to avoid being spotted from a few soldiers that were keeping watch, nothing crazy though. You could feel your heart beating in your chest, anxious to be caught, yet desperate and excited to be in Jean’s arms.

As soon as you successfully make it into the men’s barracks, you head straight for Jean’s bed. Thankfully he had a lower bunk so you wouldn’t have to worry about climbing up a ladder to get to him. The smell of man hits your nose, making you scrunch your nose slightly–it wasn’t the most pleasant scent, but it would have to do.

When you spot Jean, he’s peacefully asleep, and you debate whether you should wake him up or not. He worked hard during the day, carrying heavy items around the base and training so he can always be in his best condition when the time comes. You felt guilty–why couldn’t you just handle this alone? There was no reason to bother him about it and ruin his own rest. You sigh before turning back around to go back to your own barracks, when a voice stops you.

“Babe? What’s wrong?” It was Jean.

Turning back around, you see him sitting up now with his eyes opened slightly as he watches you.

“Nothing! Don’t worry about it, go back to sleep, baby,” you whisper to him and go to continue walking away, but you feel him grab your arm and pull you into his bed.

“C’mon, tell me. I know you didn’t just come here to watch me sleep and then leave. Unless you did, that would be really weird,” he jokes, speaking softly as to not awaken the guys around him.

You crack a smile at that. Already you were feeling a little less anxious and more relaxed than you were in your own bed. Leaning back into his chest as his arms wrap around you, he holds you tightly, waiting for you to speak.

“I just…couldn’t sleep,” you admit, feeling a little childish now that you said it out loud. So what if you couldn’t sleep? Was that any reason to go running to him? (um yes, duh)

But Jean thought otherwise. “Then I better fix that, huh?” You can hear the smile in his tone as he leans in to press a kiss to the top of your head. “Come lie down.”

And you do. Squished together on the tiny twin bed, you both lie down, while Jean keeps his arms wrapped around you, pulling you close into his chest as he presses several kisses to your face now, leaving the last kiss on your lips with a hum.

“Close your eyes and take deep breaths,” he instructs quietly, his fingers running mindlessly through your hair, leaning in a little further every now and then to massage your scalp in hope to help you relax. “Everything’s okay. You’re safe, you’re loved, and most importantly, you have me here to hold you.”

Deciding to listen to him, yet already feeling a lot more sleepy now that you were in his arms cuddled up together, you take a deep breath and close your eyes, following his breathing as the sensation of his fingers in your hair, helps you fall deeper and deeper into a relaxed state. His comforting words sink into your mind, replacing and quieting down your restless thoughts.

“Good girl,” Jean whispers in your ear, now closing his own eyes as you both breathe deeply together, a comfortable silence falling over you. You cuddle closer to him before drifting off to dreamland, your dreams full of Jean and your hopefully bright future together.

…

You don’t even remember when you fell asleep, but you did. Opening your eyes first thing in the morning, you didn’t expect to hear hushed giggles or the sight of all your male comrades hovered over you with sly smiles on their faces.

“Had fun?” Eren teases with a smirk, never missing an opportunity to get under Jean’s skin.

“Oh shut up, as if none of you haven’t done this before,” Jean finally opens his own eyes, and shoo’s everyone away, turning to you and kissing you. “Morning my love.”

You felt your face go hot as the guys around you whistled, but the sudden commotion didn’t help as Levi entered the barracks to tell everyone to quiet down, and unfortunately spotted the two of you in bed together. It was very obvious that you had spent the night with Jean, a clear violation of the Survey Corp rules, and Levi was definitely not pleased.

You’re both punished with extra chores and running laps before dinner, not being allowed to eat until all 100 laps are done. Though being able to spend the night with your boyfriend and have the best sleep you’d had in a while was more than worth it. You were already planning your future trip to the men’s barracks to do it again, even if it meant running more laps and annoying Levi.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 7/27/2023

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arlerts-angel · 10 months

Text

starting off soft with aot boys reacting to you singing in the shower !! ㅤ ೀ ㅤ۫ ㅤ۪ㅤ۫ ㅤ ♡ ㅤ

cw: mostly fluff, a lil dirty if you squint, best suited for 18+

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Armin: He walks quietly past the bathroom, minding his own business really; putting away laundry probably. He can hear your voice over the sound of the water running. He stops briefly, listening to you sing. He can't help but smile and think to himself: "why has she kept her voice a secret?" After you get finished, he asks if you enjoyed your shower, making small talk before he compliments your singing. "You have a beautiful voice, love. I didn't mean to eavesdrop... I was just walking by and couldn't stop myself. You're very talented." He said, trying to hide his blushed cheeks.

Eren: You were showering while Eren was working... or so you thought. He came home early, and when he walked into the apartment and noticed the living room was empty, he began to search for any traces of your presence. He heard the water running, so he decided to sneak into the bathroom. He began to undress himself to surprise you in the shower, but stopped when he heard your voice echo through the room. He raised an eyebrow, curious as to how long you'd been having little concerts in the shower unbeknownst to him. He waited until you were done singing before he spoke up. "Hey babe, I'm home. I loved that song..." his voice trailed as he stepped into the shower, joining you before he continued, "How about you make some more pretty noises for me?"

Reiner: It was the weekend, so you and Reiner made arrangements to just relax and have a lazy day together. Both of you had dozed off midday, but about thirty minutes into napping you woke up, sweaty and desperately wanting a shower. You decided to sneak off and let Reiner sleep, as he's been working extra hard lately. Once you had gotten about 10 minutes into your shower, Reiner awoke. He sat up, searching for you. He felt a little bummed that you left him. He got up to use the bathroom and heard you singing, so he paused before entering. After you got done showering, he opened the door and kissed your wet hair. "Y'know, I always thought you'd have a pretty singing voice." He said as he placed his hands gently on your waist, giving your shoulder a soft kiss. "That voice is going to sing our babies to sleep someday..."

Jean: You and Jean tend to have down times where you both just kind of do your own thing in silence but still enjoy the presence of each other's company. One of these times, Jean was sketching in his sketchbook on the couch. You walked up to him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Hey, I think I'm gonna take a quick shower." You tell him and plant a soft kiss on his cheek before making your way to the bathroom. Jean gets to a stopping point in his sketch and decides to check on you, seeing as though quite some time has passed. As he approached the door, he could hear your faint voice, singing a song he'd shown you before. He smiled, listening to you sing through the door. In that moment, he was reminded why he showed the song to you. After you joined him again, he pulled you into a hug and spoke softly, his lips curled into a slight smirk: "I didn't know you actually liked that song, but I like it even more now."

#attack on titan #armin aot #eren yeager #eren jeager x reader #jean kirschtein fluff #jean kirsten x reader #aot reiner #reiner x you #armin fluff #aot imagines #eren fluff #reiner fluff #my first post #armin pls marry me #aot oneshots

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chaerssss · 9 months

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ANOTHER UNIVERSE

ꕥ Jean x female reader

ꕥ Words:- 4.6k

ꕥ Synopsis:- you've always had a little crush on Jean but afraid of losing him, you never confessed it to him. However one night, things take a turn..

ꕥ Genre:- Romance, Sad, Angst and a little suggestive.

ꕥ Type:- Oneshot

ꕥ Warnings:- mentions of blood, death scenes and fighting scenes.

ꕥ Disclaimer:- This is based on the end of season 3. I apologise in advance if some things are incorrect. Even though, I'm a big fan of aot, sometimes it's hard for me to go with the storyline.

Edit:- 53 LIKES?!?! 😭 TYSM GUYS🫶

"Even if the fates unraveled our destiny. I would find a way back to you..."

Another day went by.

Another 24 hours of bloodshed.

It was beginning to get exhausting.

Your horse guided your way back to the cabins. Back inside the walls. If you were being honest, the inside of the walls were much terrifying than it's exterior. Fear was more prominent when you found yourself here. With population. Humans.

What was so terrible?

Everything.

Every person that has dedicated their life to eradicate titans from the world, they feel it more than anyone around. Survey corps. The name feels like such a high status. It might be...but what would we do of the status when we won't be here to celebrate and enjoy a free life?

Going outside the walls and everytime, every goddam time, coming back with absolute no success. Leaving so many friends, companions, family...behind. Then returning with a heavy heart, with bodies of the people we once used to train with. Only for the people to question our ability.

Maybe...we weren't worth it? Maybe, it was because of us, we hadn't had any success yet. Even though, some of us were already at the edge of Paradis. It's confusing right? But it's our reality for now.

We grew in this depressing, fowl place. Not a lap to put our head on, not a shoulder to cry on...not parents to caress our cheeks and give us hope. How long could we possibly survive.

And that's the funny thing...we did. Mikasa, Sasha, Armin, Eren..his mere name makes your heartache. That freedom crazy bastard. Connie, Annie, Jean.

Down the path of this whole 'end titans' agenda, we lost more than we could've imagined. Bertholdt, Marco...Reiner, Commander Erwin.

Your eyes had started to pool with tears. You knew deep down that we were mere pawns, being played here and there because our ancestors couldn't manage themselves. So, even if you knew the other side held the enemies, you knew they were just like you in the end.

You wanted to see him. Jean Kirsten. That idiot. He made you fall for him. By literally doing nothing. You don't know why, you don't know how. But he seems to attract you for some reason.

Although, he's always crazy about girls and showing off infront of them. You don't particularly like these types of guys, who act desperate but he...you just find him cute. At first, you thought you were going crazy because that's how it seemed. Eventually, when you grew up with him...it all made sense.

He looked different now. His hair were longer, he had slight facial hair which was a cherry on top. He grew taller and his shoulders became broad. Tch, it's weird you even noticed all these things.

So you decided to invade Connie's cabin today, because jean and him were roommates. You realised it was his weekly smoke sesh which consisted of smoking, drinking & chatting absolute shit about the pricks we call the police, military and people we genuinely hate.

Jean would be manspreaded, sat on the uncomfortable bed, you besides him, exhaling smoke into the air as he'd tilt his head back ever so slightly- the stuble on his face prominent and his mullet abit messy.

"you wanna smoke?" He'd say with a slight chuckle passing you the blunt. How sad, the smoke made you feel suffocated. You didn't like it one bit. However, you needed to be by him tonight.

"I despise it." You say, eyes still on the table infront of you. Connie was on the sofa, sleeping like a log.

"You're no fun... " he'd say with a smile "so, how was ur week y/n?"

You leaned back on the bed, your arms supporting you, "pretty shit honestly...killing titans, cleaning their filthy blood from my swords, watching my mates...loosing to some of those gigantic idiots."

The sorrow was dripping out of you at this point. You had to control it. Keep it in a jar. However, Jean didn't make it any easy. Your eyes gazed at his perfect side profile. A high bridged nose, piercing light brown eyes and his soft lips. You sighed, and went back to staring at the table. Escaping the feeling he made you feel just by looking at him.

Jean chuckled, "I feel you." His lips were stretched in a smile but you could feel the pain in it. He'd nod his head in a comforting way, as always. And somehow, you had gotten used to this. "So, why the depressing week? Titans? Losing? Or just generally?"

His arms curled around your shoulder, sending goosebumps on your skin. He touches so nonchalantly, not knowing the effect he has on you.

"...just..generally." A heavy exhale escaped your lips. "You wanna talk about it?" He said while staring at you from the side. God, you have to control yourself so much around him. And he doesn't make it any easier.

"Nah it's fine...i wouldn't wanna burden you with it. Besides..." you paused and walked to the window. "The weather is beautiful today." a wave of breeze makes your hair dance as you close your eyes, feeling easy.

It didn't go unnoticed by him as he took steps to join you. The light breeze causing your hair to flow. His heart rate had increased, was it the booze? But..maybe he has always felt like this? He doesn't know and nor does he care. "Wow, your hair looks stunning." He whispered, as his fingers tuck a few strands behind your ear.

The surroundings were dead silent. You were afraid he'd hear your heartbeat. Or he might see your red cheeks. God, why'd he have to be like this? You turn your face away.

"I guess the weather is pretty good" he chuckled. "It's also a pretty good time for a kiss." He gave a cheeky smile, teasing you.

This basta- Oh my god! You kept chanting in your brain 'calm down', and you ahve no idea if it was working or not. In fact, you even held your breath, trying to maintain that poker face. A few beats later you yelled "...Connie!! Jean wants to kiss you!"

He laughed aloud, "Y/n! I was joking! Don't do that!" When both of you turned behind to see Connie, he was still asleep. He must've been really tired. Meanwhile Jean, pretended to pout and crossed his arms as he glanced at connie.

The awkwardness faded away for a few seconds. You both kept talking about different things but somehow Jean managed to bring the 'ideal boyfriend' thing in between. Question. How do you tell your crush that they are in fact your ideal type, subtly so that they never suspect a thing?

"But if u were single and were to hypothetically want a handsome guy to kiss u.. I wouldnt mind it being me." He'd chuckle again. He knew he was being a pain in the ass, "I'll be quiet now I promise." But it was also evident, he wanted an answer.

You couldn't help but chuckle, "have you always been desperate?"

He tried to laugh it off nervously, but get slightly embarassed, "Desperate? Nooo.." he paused for a few seconds. And on god you just wanted to pounce on him. Respectfully. Not that you would ever in real life, maybe you had started to get drunk? But..did you even drink? Your eyes trailed down his neck, the first few buttons were undone, exposing his collarbones and chest.

"It's not desperate to let a girl know you like them." His deep voice reached your ears and your eyes went to his at lightening speed. You realised he was looking at you while you were gawking at him shamelessly. Jesus Y/n. So you immediately looked away, flustered.

"..I thought you liked Mikasa.." you had to get that out of your system. He smiled, nudging your shoulder, not answering your question "y/n, I like the way you blush when you're embarrassed" he then laughed, finally coming back to the point, "Also Mikasa is great. I just also find you to be great as well."

"You're spouting nonsense..." You started to walk back to the bed because there was no way you were letting him see this side you. You were sure a few more minutes and smoke would start coming out of your ears. Besides, who taught him to talk like that anyway? When he was younger, he'd always get himself embarrassed infront of others.

He started to follow you. The atmosphere had become tense yet again. He came to a pause behind you, getting close as you stood near a drawer. "I think you're quite the catch." He leaned it to whisper it in your ear. This is unfair. Your breath had started to tremble. He truly makes you feel things.

You felt his hard front on your back, " ...jean.." you managed to say, more like murmur. His hands were now on your waist. "Yes y/n..?" He did it again, he whispered it in your ear. For a moment you felt his lips brush over your neck and god you wanted to lean on him, let your hair fall on one side and let him devour you.

He noticed you're slightly flustered. He shouldn't do this..he still isn't able to figure out if this was due to the drink or you. He knew he was getting hard. His nose was by your forehead, and he could smell you. It intoxicated him. But at the same time he felt like embracing your tiny body in his.

As much as you wanted his hands on your body, you decided to gently remove them, "don't say the words you don't mean..." Your eyebrows furrowed, it was just so painful. He could be saying all of this under the influence of alcohol.

It felt disappointing to lose your touch and yet Jean still smiled, nodding slightly. Placing his hands on your shoulders, "You're right. I was just, trying to be cute. It's probably too early to say that kind of stuff..."

"So, y/n, will you let me try again..? Cause I genuinely do think you're a catch." The way he calls for you, make your heart ache. But...you can't. In fact, you wouldn't want to make this into something more. Because, this world you're living in isn't...gentle at all.

But you can't help it. You are sure you didn't even let a drop of alcohol touch you and yet you feel so high and drunk. It might be his aura or his eyes in particular. So you don't know what's best to do right now...go with your desires or leave him hanging.

After staring at him for a good 30 seconds, you chose the first option.

Using his collars you pulled him close and placed a soft, brief peck on his lips. Then running away for your life to the other room.

He looked shocked. More like perplexed. But it's sad you couldn't see his face. As you think you were getting away, you heard footsteps behind you, realizing he was running after you.

"Hey! That was my first kiss!... And I liked it!" It took a while but he was eventually able to catch up to you, grabbing your hips and pulling you close to him, "I'd like a 2nd one, if I'm being honest."

I'm in trouble. All because of this horse face. He leaned in a little closer, cornering you to the wall, flustered, you say, "that was my first one too..." But the butterflies in your stomach just won't stop fluttering. You tried to escape from his embrace.

He'd chuckle, trying to kiss you again. Your attempts of escaping futile as Jean had quite a strong grip, "Now, y/n. Don't be like that... Give the guy who stole your 1st kiss a 2nd one huh?" he'd smile, blushing a little.

He's so cute. You have no idea what he might be thinking right now. However, it was spontaneous of you to just kiss him out of nowhere. Then it dawned on you that he's drunk. All of this is just because he's drunk. None of it is true. Right now, he's looking at you like you're the only girl in the world and...it makes your heart beat 10 times faster.

You look away, "you're drunk....you won't remember any of this jean..." You take a deep breath, clenching the little fabric of his shirt, "But, if someday, i got the courage to finally confess to you while you're sober...then you can get a second kiss. You hadn't realised but your tears were already dripping down your cheeks, "until then...please don't get my hopes high...and please..stay alive."

A pang. That's what it felt like, seeing you cry. Jean, has always been a soft person. Heck, even the idea of admitting in the survey corps terrified him. But his mother always told him that he was brave. Maybe, that's what drove him to be there with everyone else.

Apart from the negative aspects, if he hadn't took that step, he would've never...never found you. How miserable would he have been then. He takes a step back, dropping his shoulders.

"You're right.. I probably won't remember this once I'm sober... But, when I do forget.. remember this... Drunk or sober... My feelings don't change for you. You're the best girl I've met and whether you accept it or not, I don't just want a kiss"

He smiled again. A bright one this time. Where his eyes turn into crescents and you can see the obvious blush, not knowing if it's because he's drunk or... flustered. "You are amazing."

If anyone still hasn't figured out why he attracted me so much. I hope...it's much clear now.

You tried to calm yourselves down, " ...I have an early...meeting tomorrow with Levi and hange-san.." ,sniffles, "I'll go sleep..."

He'd wipe your tears away, kissing your forehead gently. "Dont you worry now... You go to your little meeting, and when you come back, we can talk."

He'd smile again, getting close to you once again as he looked into your eyes, "You.. Me.. Together.. No alcohol needed."

That night you had a hard time falling asleep. Jean's words kept coming back to you. You, me together, no alcohol needed. And a smile would appear everytime. In fact, you didn't even want to sleep.... probably because, reality had started to feel better than dreams.

Oh, you fell, it was so evident. And you've fallen so deep that if you tried to come back up, you'll lose yourself with it. He was your first love..but at the same time you started to have second thoughts.

The anxiety, if that's what you can call it. There were so many things you were afraid of. But, the number 1 was losing him...so you prayed that night. If any one of us had to leave this world for good, then let it be me first. Let it be me...

The next day you're back to training in the backyard with Mikasa, eren and armin. It's the same old thing but something turns on when it's you four together. There's a touch of comfort and warmth. Armin tells so many facts and stories we three wouldn't even understand, Mikasa would blush seeing eren all motivated to defeat the titans and you'd catch her.

She doesn't seem to hide the fact that she likes him... it's just that, she's afraid to admit it vocally. Just like you. Your eyes get downturned but you turn your attention back to the training.

Jean watches you from a far. It's quite obvious Jean likes you, and that's pretty obvious to him as well because right now, a tinge of jealousy can be felt in his chest. He just wishes, it was him besides you. He was the reason you'd smile like that, where your dimples appear, you didn't even know you had. Although, he'd pretend to look away each time Armin or Eren would catch him staring.

"Eren could you teach me the swing you did that day?" You request the dark haired guy. Eren came behind you. Ok, maybe you should think ahead for the future before you ask for something. Because you thought he'd teach you by doing it himself but apparently he decided to hug you from the behind, and hold the sword, while your bodies were so close together.

He's still watching from a far, his eyes following you. Eren is being a bit flirtatious by placing his arms around you, which Jean notices. Or maybe he's just seeing things because how would Eren, the freedom crazy bastard possibly have the time to flirt? In fact, he won't even know the purpose behind it?

"Ugh... What a flirt" He murmured being a little disgusted. "Hey Mikasa, you wanna tell me about your week?" He'd say in an attempt to distract himself from the jealous feelings of watching you with Eren.

A minute later he finds you ruffling Eren's hair who's on the ground and you're laughing, probably,because eren made a joke. This is all in his brain because that's not true at all, you were laughing because Eren tripped on thin air. And it was funny, to see a guy who can literally turn into someone so huge and crush millions, fall on the ground while making a cute sound.

This time Jean doesn't bother hiding his jealousy and anger. He has a straight face as he watches you play with Eren's hair, his hand clenching the handle of his 3D maneuvering equipment sword.

"Oh you think Eren is so cute!?" He'd say in a mocking tone, trying to get your attention. You turned yourself to him and realised he had been watching you. Wow, he was...watching me? He slowly got closer to you, "What about me?.. I haven't really even got the chance to show you how cute I can be.."

Your eyes go wide for a second. Because A) he's too damn close and B) he just said that aloud, in front of your friends. Which was even more embarassing. But he seemed to not care. You take a step back, "what..are you talking about?" Your cheeks are so red right now, why did the weather have to be clear today?

"Me?... Why, I simply thought you seemed to be getting a little.. flirty with Eren." He'd chuckle nervously before stepping closer again. Your poor heart was in no way ready for this. "I just thought I'd show you what you've been missing out on when you've been hanging out with that hot headed idiot.."

In no time, you're literally corned to the concrete wall behind and he slightly tilted his face. If it wasn't for the support of the wall you bet you'd fall down because just the way he's talking right now is making you go crazy enough to even let out a moan. Jesus..

You look away, trying to come up with something. You know damn well he looks majestic right now but unfortunately you don't have the courage to look straight at him. So you say, " ....just so you know ...it's hard for me to talk to boys that I find attractive..." Your cheeks go even more red, " ...ahem...captain Levi is calling me." And you walk away.

Jean was quite literally stunned. Shocked. Perplexed. And whatever else you can say instead of 'surprised'. He doesn't move an inch from where he trapped you while you walk away, "y/n...!" He finally yells. "You find.. Me.. Attractive?" He'd ask. His face would go red as he'd look after you.

"Well, when you get back we are gonna have a talk.." yeah sure whatever you say pretty boy. Was what you had in mind but no way you were ready for that 'talk' yet. You thought you were the only with a bright scarlet face when on the other hand, Jean is literally dying of shyness. So you just raised a middle finger in the air, trying to run away without any words.

He frowned as you flicked him off, "Well I hope your happy now that you got that out of your system.. Just wait until you see me when you come back" He'd put his middle finger up as well, and stick his tongue out at you. But then quickly rethink what happened and get flustered again.

Meanwhile the people around you were....well..not surprised.

"Finally..." Mikasa let out and Eren follows, "I thought they'd already be married or something." And continues with his punches in the air. "Eren.." Armin says as if to scold him, "what? You can even ask the infiltrators, they thought the same..."

A while later you're under a tree, looking off into the setting sun. Jean appeared behind you, resting his body against the tree as he watched you sit there.

"What you doing over here y/n? You look deep in thought.. I'd hate to distract you." His deep voice, which had now quite frankly, started to sound like honey, reached your ears.

"It's not a thought but..I find sunsets so pretty." You say, not breaking your gaze from the sky. But then you turn around and signal him to sit besides you. He smiled before sitting down next to you, leaning his head against the tree as he kept his eyes on you.

"They are indeed quite pretty.." his eyes move to the sunset then back to you, "but I think you're more beautiful than any sunset."

"..you're cheesy as ever." You chuckled. And... Something shifted in Jean's eyes as he looked at you. Maybe even in his heart. It made him content, that it was you who was smiling next to him.. because of him. The orange and golden hues of the sun reflect perfectly on your skin. As if you already didn't look like a goddess, the dipping sun made you look etheral. Your eye color now more visible because of the bright light. You're just so...pretty. And..Jean can't get tired of watching and observing you. Its like everytime he finds something pretty in you.

"I can't help it.. I'm a sucker for romance." He sighed, staring at the sky with you. "I'm also a sucker for beautiful girls.. you are the perfect combination."

A gush of butterflies fill your gut, and you smile, "you know, I must say... you're the reason I've stopped feeling insecure."

"I am?" He intentionally made a surprised look and when you chuckled while playing with the grass, his eyes became soft once again, "You know.. seeing you smile like that is always a great sight for me. It makes me believe maybe just maybe... I also make you feel something."

He stretched his arms and legs out to stretch contently while he inhaled sharply and your eyes fell on his built physique. His structured face and brown hair. You wish to play with them..style them in cute hairstyles and bows. The thought made you smile, but then...he turned to you and said, "It's quite a beautiful night isn't it.."

"Yeah.." you said not looking at the sky but him instead, "Its..beautiful." The sun had set entirely and it became darker than before. Just at the right time, as though the universe was playing it's cards, a wave of wind blew your hair prettily.

Jean watches the way the wind blew through your hair, before opening his eyes and looking at your face. He'd tilt his head, placing his hands on your shoulders and gently turning your face to him. He'd hold eye contact with you before moving closer.

"You have the most kissable lips y/n.." He chuckled before leaning in closer and brushing his nose against yours. You could feel his breath, and it sent goosebumps all over you. Your stomach was doing sommersaults. And again, his scent, a mix of an earthly smell but at the same time a fragrance that intoxicated you.

"...jean... you're too close.." you breathed out heavily.

"Too close?"

"And if I get closer?" He leaned in.

"Do I get to kiss those beautiful lips?"

Your throat had beginning to feel tight and you chest...it felt like a drum as of now. What should you even do right now? Your mind went blank, until, you hear a voice calling from a distance, "s-sasha is calling me.." you whispered.

He smiled and then gently turned your face towards him again,"hm?" Gosh that was so hot of him...he pressed himself against you and pulled you closer so that both your bodies were touching. He'd hold your chin gently with his hands, "I know you want to kiss me. It's the only thing you can think about right now.. I can feel it"

You didn't have the confidence to even say something let alone look him in the eye. Meanwhile you felt his gaze on you, with each second a pool of desire growing inside both of you and just..a fuzzy feeling inside you couldn't quite point out.

He kissed your neck gently, his lips soft against your skin. He'd move his head up again to look at your lips, "Don't fight it anymore..." You flinched at the touch, it was like an electric shock. You still tried with all your might, to turn this situation into a normal one, "J-jean....Sasha's calling me.."

"Sasha can wait.. " was what he said. And when he did, you felt vibrations on your nape. A pathetic sound could leave you any time if he didn't stop. He chuckled as his jaw started to clench a little, a small amount of frustration and jealousy in his tone, "It doesn't matter who calls you... I just.. wanna kiss you for gods sake."

Your raised your hand to slowly caress his hair, "..jean." you whispered, "I'm... I'm scared." Eyebrows furrowing as a sense of pain arrived in you, "I'm scared that I'll end up losing you. The world we live is not...gentle. it's cruel...and to love a person truly in this world is...scary."

And you meant it.

You meant every word of it.

Because you've seen it. You've experienced it. You didn't wanna bear that pain anymore. You agree you're weak... because if another person close to you died, you'll lose yourself with it.

"Listen y/n. I may be an idiot sometimes, but I'm not that stupid. I know this world isn't gentle.. Hell it's more cruel than anything I would ever have imagined.. But that's all the more reason to be with the people we love.. What good would it be to survive this nightmare if we can't spend it with the people we love?" He'd move his hand to yours, gently taking your hand, "I'll protect you y/n...I'll keep you safe."

It was just how your mother used to tell you how your dad made her feel. A feeling of comfort, so comfortable that I wanted to cuddle him everytime he was near. And for some reason, my heart rate was always high near him. His eyes...were like an ocean. And I was willing to drown in them.

"Promise?" You extended out your pinky.

Maybe that's how I feel right now.

He'd take your pinky finger and wrap his own around it, "I Promise." He gave a little smile before looking back up at you. He still held your hand, gently rubbing the side of your finger with his thumb.

So, I'll trust you.

You leaned in to reach near his face, a little nervous but wanting to feel his lips. Feeling his breath on them. He watched you as you got closer to him, his eyes trailed down to your lips and then back up again. He moved his head closer to yours, leaning in close before he finally pressed his lips against yours. He wrapped his arms around your body in order to pull you closer. His lips were firm, yet gentle. He'd kiss you for what felt like an eternity. Like that comfort your mom told you about. Your hands were in his hair while his held you close.

At first, it felt like just a touch of lips, but then a desire evoked in you to feel them again. That soft feeling. He sucked on your bottom lip and you enjoyed every little bit of it, moving back to kissing where his tongue explored the insides of your mouth. You didn't even knew he could kiss like that. He's...perfect. But he eventually broke the kiss.

"God damn.." He'd chuckle, pressing his arms close. You mirror his reaction by smiling, "...guess I do have kissable lips." "More than kissable, they are perfect lips"

He'd give you a little peck on the lips before gently rubbing your neck again, looking you in the eye again, "You really are amazing y/n... You really make me feel things I've never thought were possible, and you probably don't even realize it."

You rested your forehead on his while your hands held his neck, "..I felt the same when I saw you for the first time in the survey corps." You trail off the memory lane, "I was young..and so were you. But..you seemed to be intrigued by Mikasa...not that I can't relate but..I felt a little pang on my heart, so I just kept my distance." You were surprised you even let it out your system.

"Hearing you talk like this makes me feel like I should've came up and made my feelings known much earlier.. But, I'm here now. Let's make things right."

How does he know what to say every goddam time?

His eyes softened as he looked into yours. He would slowly take his hand out from your neck and move it to rest on your leg, slowly rubbing your thigh. You knew this wouldn't end at a kiss if you didn't stop this man, "You know that sasha was calling me right?" You murmured.

"Now I have to wonder.. Just what is sasha calling you for?"

"probably because the food is served and getting cold..."

"So food is more important than me?"

"Mhmm.." you said in a teasing tone.

"Alright.. But when we come back from eating, I'm probably gonna have to kiss you again just to remind you of what you have when you aren't eating." He got up to face you properly again, "don't be surprised if I try and steal another kiss"

"Jeez..." You took his hand in yours and chuckled, "we'll see about that later.." as both of you went in the dining room.

He slowly started walking, while looking at you with a smile, "I'm sure I won't let you escape me so easily." He whispered, "We'll see about that horse face." You winked in his direction, "Horse face?" He acted as if he got offended, "What have you got against horses anyway?" He'd nudge you lovingly, gently squeezing your hand, "I think horses are beautiful, majestic creatures. And a little bit of a compliment, sweetheart."

Your eyes automatically go wide on the use of the nickname, "stop..with those nicknames." Guess you're already a thing huh?

"Sweetheart?" He chuckled and look at you, "Do you not like nicknames then?"

"I..I do.." you say, red as a tomatoe, "let's go" upon entering the room you give him a peck on the cheek and sit next to sasha while continuing eating your food.

Both of you were fools in love.

"I'll make sure sweetheart that I give you as many kisses as you can handle from now on. Just to make up for all that I've missed out on." He whispered to himself. Throughout the dinner he kept looking at you after every bite. As if, you were gonna fade away from his sight.

You just came from a meeting again.

The same people, stressing over the same thing. But each time, there was a new hurdle. With a solution that would cost one of us our lives.

And this time it was eren. I knew it. Maybe...others knew it as well.

With all the new information in mind, we, the Eldians, have to clear the remaining titans of Paradis Island before traveling to the coast for the first time in centuries.

Will I be able to join them? Will I finally see this sea Armin keeps talking about?

But what lies ahead of that Island? ... it's, nothing but enemies, and it doesn't matter which version of history proves to be the correct one — because either way, Marley is gunning for us, and we must fight back.

Will I be able to join Jean?

You walk out of the room. Knowing you have more titans to fight. An emergency had arrived. And you volunteered to be the first one. As you're walking out, you find a figure walking towards you. A good 6 feet of a man.

Oh, that's my man.

His eyes would trail off, thinking about something "Hmm.." you sighed, "what's your pretty head thinking?"

"I was just thinking about how much you smile, you're such a beautiful girl, sweetheart." And you don't know if it was meant to be sarcastic because you do sure look the opposite of what he said right now. He'd let out a sigh of content as he leaned his head against the tree, "I like this tree. I think it helps me forget about everything for a little while though.. So it's nice to just relax like this for a minute.."

You scoffed. There. He managed to break that shell of negative energy around you, "Look at you sweet-talking me."

"Is it working? I'm not exactly a master at this kind of thing."

'not a master' sure. As if he doesn't know the things to say that make your legs weak. He nudged you playfully, "But it is working right, cause if yes, then I have some extra flirting lined up for you." A smirk appeared on his lips.

"We have titans to fight, and Levi and hange-san are literally like a metre away. They'll hear."

"So you'd rather flirt in private in the trees, hm? Because I can make that happen." He said with a shit-eating grin and his eyebrows raised. "Or is it that you're shy?" He laughed a little, "Please tell me that you're not shy, I can't take that"

You raised your eyes, staring into his, "it took me so many years to be honest about my feelings, do you still think I can be confident?" You start walking towards the horses.

He'd follow after you and look into your eyes as you did to him, "Aww, y/n.. You're so adorable like that. I don't know how you expect me to get any work done when you're looking at me like that and plus I don't think you can be confident. You are confident, whether you like it or not"

He'd smile softly and gently caress your cheek with his hand, "You're perfect y/n."

You don't even realise that your eyes are getting filled with tears. All you can think about right now is being with him. In fact, you don't even want to go fight those stupid huge things, you just want to...stay besides him. As if on instinct you open your arms and hug him, embrace him tightly. And you guys just stand there for a while, Jean's hands caressing your back, as though he knows the rush of anxiety you're going through. His "shhh" and "it's alright's" actually impacted you. But you think...now you'll always need him. You'll always require him and only him to comfort you.

"Now go, go on. They're all looking at you waiting for you to do something." You wipe your eyes before he can see your tears and just look at him. Wih a clear vision. With a deep breath you walk down to the stables to fetch your horse.

He'd lean against the tree again and watch you, grinning as his eyes trailed down your body gently. He'd watch the way you walked, from your ass to your legs. Eventually he'd look back up at your face and smirk before taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.

Sasha comes by him, "who're you staring at?"

"No one" He'd smile slightly "Just enjoying the view, that's all."

He'd then open his eyes to look up at you "What are you doing here though Sasha? It's not time for your training yet is it?"

Sasha narrows her eyes, "horse face, I've been a little too suspicious of you and y/n..." she looks between you two, "what is going on with you two?"

"If you must know, y/n really is beautiful, so why shouldn't I be interested? She's funny, charming, and she's an amazing kisser...."

Sasha cranes her neck so hard that she hears a 'crack' "Ow!" Jean stops to look at her, "woah easy.."

"Then.. that'd mean you..you kissed her?"

And all he did was give a wink. But Sasha appeared rather worried. Maybe, it was just like all those times. Jean just wanted attention, someone to be with him. She was worried you'd end up getting your heart broken. But when she stared at Jean for a while, she realised...the way he looked at you, was similar to the way Mikasa looked at eren...and that said something. Because Sasha has only ever seen her being so devoted to someone. "You're in love Jean..." Sasha says.

"You're damn straight I'm in love with her. I don't think I've ever felt like this about anyone before."

Sasha smirks and pats Jean's shoulder, "good luck getting your angel..." And leaves.

He'd groan as he realised that Sasha was right, before he'd turn back and look at you once more before walking, his hands into his pockets, "...angel though." He'd smirk as he leaned against the tree again, thinking about what Sasha said. "Y/n... My angel? I like that. Maybe that'll be one of her nicknames.." He'd sigh, smiling faintly as he thought about different nicknames he knew you would definitely like or hate.

You walked up to him with your horse. "I believe you might've seen Sapphire but never had a good introduction." You bring her close with the leash to Jean, rubbing the bridge of her nose, "Say hi Sapphire,...this..is my lover."

He smiled at the name you gave the horse while gushing over how you called him your lover and pet her head gently before turning to you, "...Be safe y/n, okay?" He looks into your eyes gently and makes a promise to you before climbing onto the horse with you, "And when you get back, I'm getting that second kiss. You better remember that, cause I know I do.."

You blush at the proximity of you two on the horse. So close, it was just like the night it all started. His hard front upon your back, his warmth on your arms and his breath felt on the crook of your neck.

"...now get off i have work to do."

"Alright, alright", He'd hop off and watch as you rode out of the training grounds and off towards your mission,"Good luck y/n!" He called out to you as you started riding further away. He'd then take one last look at you, blushing a little for a moment before looking away, "I'm gonna need that kiss next time I see you." Yes. He yelled it. Infront of everyone. And he knows the kind of expression you'd be making. And how you'd scold him once you get back but then melt away with his touch.

Those were the last words i heard.

Before the echoing roars of these monsters.

You were frozen. Seeing the horrendous conditions of the village. You thought the titans were finally eliminated at least from the villages, because the only ones left were around the Paradis island.

Your feet didn't let you make a move. Besides, Sapphire was injured in her back limb. Everything around you happened in slow motion. From the blood splashing everywhere, to the head of titans being slaughtered to the ground. Or the fellow soldiers being ruthlessly handled by the titans.

You...should do something.

"Now go, go on. They're all looking at you waiting for you to do something."

Even in this battlefield, his voice sounded clear. It echoed throughout your brain. A moment later, a fellow corps member came by you, informing you how the the person who was supposed to call for back up was crushed by the titans. Meaning.... there's no way this can end easily.

Maybe...

Just maybe, this might be the end.

'If any one of us had to leave this world for good, then let it be me first. Let it be me...'

With a deep breath, you whipped sapphire's leash and she was obeying while running towards the titans. A deep rage had awoken inside of you. A deep,..desire to..fight!

You rode all across the biggest Titan which seemed to be crushing everyone around. As soon as you reached it, it tried to kill you by using its feet but you dogded it successfully, thanks to Sapphire.

With that being said, his feet once stomped right besides you, that's when you took the chance to use your sword as a support for climbing it's huge body. When it pierced it's skin, it tried to yank you off of him but you kept hanging. Grunting, it was hard... you were sweating all over and your clothes were splattered by blood.

With much power you managed to climb till it's arms which was a bad idea, it's big hand came hovering over your tiny body. However, you hung yourself on to the finger and used the 3D maneuvering gear to reach till it's nape and slash it.

The cut was successful, you hung yourself on a tree branch, panting heavily. Tears flowing uncontrollably. You screamed. You screamed your lungs off because this was exhausting. You were wailing. Don't know for what?

Freedom? Love? Death?

Something..that gave me peace.

You let your guard off too soon.

You hear a crack, and when you look down, it's the same Titan, using its body to cut down the tree. Your wide eyes looks at it in horror. Fear was creeping inside of you....was it? Because you didn't try doing anything on instinct. You...just wanted to fall.

"Be safe y/n, okay?"

His voice still lingers on. His touch as well. His warmth...

You were going to fight. If not for yourself then for Jean. The tree began to tilt and you used your gear just in time to cling on to the another tree. Another Titan had started to hover over you. It had enormous eyes and it's hair were crippled and messy. Your hooded eyes looked at it and while grinding your teeth, you used all your strength to slash it's nape. Your other injuries were starting to act up. Especially, the one where the titan threw a big ass rock at you.

This time, it was successful. However, the gas in your gear had started to decrease. To the point...it went empty. You fell off in mid air...

Half unconscious because of the previous injuries.

Somehow, this felt...quiet. and nice.

It was like all your worries were gone. Just you sliding down, like in your dreams. However, this time you weren't gonna wake up with a jolt.

The tears prickled at the corner of your eyes as the memories of your teammates, your friends, your family started to appear. You smiled nonetheless. And the last memory before your blood started to run cold, was of that horse face. That idiot who made you fall for him. Called, Jean Kirstin.

And before you knew you were gasping for oxygen because you had hit the hard ground. As the last tear fell, your eyes closed...for an eternity.

Jean would turn around to see Armin running with a worried expression. "Wh-what happened Armin?"

"The village where the titans attacked..." He paused and hunched over to pant, "The bodies..they brought the bodies!"

His eyes automatically grew wide. Just thinking that you were also involved in this. He ran with Armin as both of them went to the group of survivors that fought. All of them injured, Captain Levi, could be seen near a man, his clothes also spoiled with blood spots. Somehow it relieved him to see Captain Levi, he thought if he was here then that'd mean you were safe.

His head moved in every direction to look for you. He even called out for you in the crowd. Until a man responded, "are you perhaps looking for..Y/n?" And Jean immediately shook his head. However, the expression of the man made his anxiety act up. He saw the man shuffle something in his pockets, "She clenched it hard in her hands.."

"Y/n?" He'd say, his eyes widening as his heart stopped. He'd take the pendant and look down at it, not knowing what to say or do, "I-I don't understand.. She was just here.. It can't be.." He'd mutter, placing his other hand on his head in distress. His other hand would hold the pendant to his heart, staring at it with a dead expression "y/n.."

Armin who was standing beside Jean, was stunned. "It can't be.." he whispered. Captain Levi from a distance walked over to them, "I caught her before she could hit the ground..." Levi's hoarse voice informed. "It couldn't be helped.." he said and left.

Jean knew deep inside Levi was beating himself for not being able to save you. The man spoke up once again, "You can..see her body."

He took a step back, feeling the world around him spin. His body felt like it was going to crumble any minute now he was so shocked. "No.." He said, softly as he looked down at the necklace "I-I want to remember her when she was alive.. And I don't think I could handle being near the body without falling to pieces.. He'd take a pause, letting out a sigh as he tried to compose himself.

For the briefest moment, he felt proud that you had been able to protect everyone from that titan before he quickly realised the truth.

"...She's dead now..." He'd murmur "We have to tell everyone else.. Especially Eren and Mikasa.. They.. They were the closest to her.. And... She was gonna kiss me..."

He'd take a deep breath, feeling the pain of the loss all too well "..She'll never kiss me now..."

Eren, Mikasa, Connie and Sasha come running towards you. This time Sasha spoke, "Jean... where's Y/n?"

He kept quite. Not saying a word. He just couldn't. He couldn't say that you were gone. His eyes would lock with Eren's, staring right at him with tears in his eyes, "She's... She's gone..I couldn't do anything.." His voice broke at the end and he looked down at the ground, closing his eyes, "I-I couldn't save her Sasha... I couldn't save her..."

It was not something new. It had happened quite a few times before. Then..how come it affected them so much this time? Everyone's voices would seem quiet to Jean as he spoke. All he could hear was his own thoughts at this point, "I couldn't save her.. Why.. Why couldn't it have been me? She should be here now..."

Connie put a hand on jean's shoulder, "it's not only your fault...we..we couldn't do anything as well." tears trickled from his eyes.

He looked at Connie, "But I was supposed to be there with her.. I was supposed to protect her... I don't understand.." He'd place his hand on his forehead as he looked back up, "I should've been able to save her.. That's what I should've been able to do.."

this time Mikasa spoke, "jean...she would've wanted you to be strong." she wiped her tears, "..let's start with burying her..." He'd sniff slightly and nod gently

"That's.. Right.. She wouldn't want me just standing here mopping.. We need to move..". He'd then turn to everyone and motion for them to follow him, "Let's get moving, I know where she wanted me to bury her."

He started walking towards the forest, waiting for the others to follow him before continuing through the trees, away from the military grounds.

It was the tree, under which you both shared your first kiss. And a confession as well.

"Alright... This is the place.. y/n and I would come here a lot whenever we got a break from training. She loved it here, so this is where I'm gonna bury her."

He'd take a deep breath, trying to calm himself down before starting to dig the grave "It shouldn't be too big.. We don't wanna attract any mindless titans."

He'd say this to explain himself more than anything else. Connie, Levi and eren help in digging the ground. A while later, your body is shown to them. He looked at you with tears in his eyes once again. He took in your face, running his eyes over you.

He noticed every mark on your face, all the little things that made him love you so much and he physically winced at your state. He'd sigh again heavily, putting a hand on your cheek. Eyes closed, he brought you closer to his chest, like you were just asleep and he wanted you to keep being like that.

A small tear rolled down his face as he held you gently, taking in your warmth one last time.

Everyone went silent. The atmosphere was sad, a few raindrops fell. It was as if the sky cried for you. Levi, finally told jean to bury the body.

He gave your face one last gentle kiss before slowly laying you down gently inside the grave, "I got the kiss...i guess." He paused and sighed before covering you with the soil, tears rolling down his face as he did so.

"I'll miss you.. My angel..so much.." He wiped his eyes gently "...I love you y/n.. always."

Love...funny thing isn't it?

His eyes looked up at the sky, as he began to think, though it seemed more like he was speaking to himself.

He would take a deep breath, still looking up at the sky "..Yeah, it's a funny thing, even when it hurts..."

I'll always love you. So, let's meet in another universe. Where I can be embraced by you peacefully, where I won't have to worry about losing you, where we'll talk about all the silly things. Where I'll give you your second kiss.

"I'll always love you y/n too, my sweet angel"

He smiled gently as he began to imagine a place where he could hold you once more, feeling the love he had for you deeply as he looked up at the sky.

"Maybe in another universe I'll be able to hold you.. And kiss you once more, a sweet kiss with no regrets or anything holding me back..."

"...maybe there's one where you're still alive, and where I could have a chance to hold you one more time..."

The end.

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cagesofgold · 9 months

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jean kirstein headcanons <3

🎵 cry baby - the neighborhood 🎧

You and Jean had been friends for about a year before you confessed your feelings for each other, and for your one year anniversary, Jean’s gift, alongside the bundle of others he got you, was a notebook full of sketches he had made of you. You only found out how long he’d been drawing them when you realized that the one at the front was you sitting in the lecture where you first met.

a total plant dad. for one of your first dates he took you to a plant market and let you pick out three plants to take with you, which now sit on the windowsill in your shared apartment. (he also named all of them and speaks to them when no one’s around)

his favorite place to paint/draw is outside. in your apartment you have a relatively minuscule balcony, where he can often be found shirtless, letting paints coalesce across a canvas in the early hours.

he likes his coffee strong, will refuse to add sugar to it and tends to lean more towards savory than sweet.

he is the BEST gift giver. he is so thoughtful and will always paint you something for every birthday or gift giving occasion.

he’s very sentimental, harbors a cardboard box under his bed full of photos from high school and various nick nacks he had acquired throughout his life.

loves lamps. he likes a space to be cozy, and turning the overhead light on, to him, is the same as stabbing him in the eyes with a ten inch blade repeatedly. will whine, “noooooo” and bury his face in his arms any time you have to turn it on.

will pay for everything, wont even let you reach for your card, he’s just too fast.

is easily agitated, not by you though, mainly by Connie and Eren who always find a way to torment him on the regular. He blocks them at least four times a week.

loves the colour green. mainly darker shades, bring him a neon and he’ll act as if you’ve shot him.

is like a kid in a candy shop if you take him to an art shop, will take you by the hand and talk your ear off about different painting techniques and consistency’s of paint.

is extremely attentive. will instantly know if you are even so much as a little off. he knows you in and out and will simply ask, “listen or solution?” and will provide service on which you choose.

has a comically large phone, due to his hands. whenever he holds your phone it looks ridiculous.

his mother absolutely adores you, has a groupchat with you and jean where she frequently asks you two to come over for dinner.

he is an extremely cautious driver, this man will never be caught with a speeding ticket. this also manages to drive connie insane because of how fucking slow he is.

“i’m just being careful!”

“yeah okay, grandpa…” 💀

he loves to dance with you, arms wrapped around your waist as you sway to a gentle rhythm, him humming softly in your ear.

your apartment is extremely well decorated due to Jean’s artistic nature. he’s painted the walls, and made sure everything explodes with color. he believes beige home to be the death of interior design.

this also applies to beige babies, jean’s child will be having colorful toys and that’s that.

despite his size, he loves being little spoon. The feeling of your body heat against his spine helps him drift right off.

whenever he’s sick, no matter to what degree he always watches “singing in the rain” - it’s a comfort film to him due to his mother putting it on any time he had the flu growing up.

he adores jazz clubs. he just loves how peaceful and calming they are, and he likes to observe the different types of people who all come together to listen to the sweet hum of a saxophone. a lot of his art pieces are set in that environment.

he has a collection of hand cream. due to his career his hands constantly mirror that of a paint palette, and so, to ensure he doesn’t have cracked hands he always makes sure to moisturize them. his hands are his tools after all, in more ways than one….

you will always be his no.1 muse. a perfect day for him is letting you indulge in any hobby, read, watch tv, cook, bake, and as you do that, he’ll sketch, taking extra time on your eyes and smile. he just truly believes no landscape, no still life, and no composition will ever be as beautiful as what you can make occur on his page. <3

3 aot boy headcanons down, six to go 💋

#jean x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirstein #jean kirschtein imagine #jean kirschtien #jean x you #jean x y/n #aot imagines #aot fluff #aot x y/n #aot fanfiction #aot oneshots

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lolitaa-17 · 1 year

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“The other women…”

This is my first blog so please don’t make fun of me I’m begging lol. Also I’m a die hard fan for Angsty shit so here’s a Jean angst!

You and Jean have been friends for as long as you can remember. He was always there for you and you were always there for him. It all started changing though after he met her. The distance between you and him was starting to get noticeable, so you decided to invite him over for a movie night and catch up on life.

You constantly kept checking your phone every phew 10 minutes just in case some emergency had occurred. But nothing. Soon 2 hours passed, it was now 11pm. You dial his number to make sure he’s alright.

“Hello?” You hear his soft deep voice on the other line.

“Jean are you alright?” You question.

“Um yeah why?” He blankly answered.

“Oh nothing. Where are you?”

“I just left the get together at Mikasa’s” you could hear his car door shut on the other line.

“Jean you forgot?” You started getting sensitive after you heard her name once again.

“Shit. That was today?”

You scoffed “You knew damn well it was today!” Slightly raising your voice.

“Can you stop this already?” He asked.

“Stop what?”

“Stop acting like you’re my girlfriend, as if I have to move everything aside just to go watch some fucking movies with you. I’m literally over here trying to get the girl I’m in love with and it’s like you’re cockblocking!” He confesses.

Thank god he couldn’t see you right now. You were a crying mess. You really did love him…a little too much. Yes, you managed to gain feelings and the thought of Jean giving the attention you wanted to another girl broke you.

“I’m sorry-“ before you could utter another word the call ended. He ended the call.

You accepted it. You accepted the fact that you were the other women and that he would never give you the attention you silently yearned for.

A couple months passed by.

You got over the fact that you and Jean were no longer the inseparable best friends you used to be. You knew you had to move on eventually.

You admire the beautiful nature around you as your sundress flowed with the wind.

“Here put this flower in your hair it’ll make you look ever prettier”

Reiner…he was perfect. You genuinely thought that what happened with you and Jean was for the best. It helped you open your eyes and realize there are more fish in the sea. But Reiner was a special one. He was like you, he yearned for love and affection and you both helped each other with filling that void. Although you two aren’t official yet, it pretty much felt like you guys were.

“Would it?” You ask him.

“Of course it would. Look at you” he says grabbing your hand and signaling you to do a little twirl for him.

You two continued walking around the park when suddenly you heard a familiar voice call out.

“Y/n? Is that you?”

You turn around and see him…Jean. He looked pretty shitty. His hair was unkept, his tie wasn’t even tied. He looked as if he was running late to work.

“Jean?” Reiner tensed up hearing the familiar name.

Jean looked over at Reiner and sent a small smile “Mind if I talk to her for a second?”

“Be my guest.” Reiner said.

“Jean I-“

“I’m sorry. I fucked up our friendship over some girl that never even liked me back and I was so fucking blinded I didn’t even realize you..you were the one for me. He says placing both his hands on each side of your cheeks.

“Jean please get off me.” You say softly pushing his hand away.

“Connie told me everything y/n, he told me how you really felt for me! Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” He says tearing up.

“Because nothing would’ve changed Jean.”

“Please we can start over…I’ll come over every night. We can watch our favorite movies together. Like the old times. Remember?” He was basically begging at this point.

“Jean…I don’t love you anymore” you knew it broke him by the look of his face.

“Jean I have someone who actually cares and puts his time and effort into seeing me. I’m not just gonna leave what I have with this amazing man just because you’re sad of something that you did months ago.”

“So can you stop?” You ask him the same way he did to you.

“Stop what y/n”

“Stop acting as if you ever even loved me. It was all one sided. I was just the other women.”

“So get over it already.”

Reiner noticed that you were getting pretty furious so he makes his way towards you guys.

“You okay babe?” He asked.

you smiled. He did that to show Jean you were no longer available.

“I’m fine. Let’s go”

Jean just sat there with regret and guilt flooding through his body. If only he never distanced himself from you or break up the friendship that was worth everything to you. He admired you once more. The way your dress flowed with the wind and how you were infatuated with your new lover and he thought to himself how that could’ve been him. But no, not anymore and probably not ever.

The end

sorry if I made any mistakes again this is my first blog and shit so don’t judge. I really do hope you guys enjoyed it!

#jean kirschtien #jean kirschtein angst #jean kirschtein x you #attack on titan #oneshot #reiner x you #reiner braun

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chackyxyooj · 1 year

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It Wasn’t Just a Dream

Spoiler Warning: Attack on Titan’s second part of season 4

Jean storms away from the campfire, his fists bloodied from beating Reiner’s face to a pulp. Of all the people to come looking for him, of course it was (Y/n) - one of the four Warriors who’d betrayed Paradis. What better time to have a heart-to-heart talk with your enemy than when the world is about to end?

__________________________________________________

What does it mean to be brave?

The definition of bravery is someone who’s ready to face and endure danger or pain; it’s defined as a show of courage. That is the most common perception of bravery, but is that all it means to be brave? Of course this definition is sufficient, but one can’t help but wonder if they really are brave. One can’t help but ask if they truly display bravery.

Someone who sleeps with the lights on might consider someone who sleeps with them off, brave. People who are afraid of spiders take someone who can kill a spider as brave, but people who keep spiders as pets are deemed crazy. Where is the line between the two?

What is the difference between being perceived as brave and being perceived as a fool?

This question was a familiar one for Jean. Back in his youth, he often wondered what bravery was. He believed he knew what it meant to be a coward, but that didn’t necessarily mean he knew what it meant to be brave.

There was once a time where Jean equated honesty with bravery. To speak your mind bluntly without being scared of another person’s judgement had certainly seemed brave to the young soldier - especially since he was someone who wasn’t afraid to say what he wanted.

In his youth, Jean considered himself brave because he wasn’t afraid to admit when something seemed ridiculous or outlandish. Everyone in the 104th Cadet Corps knew of Jean. He was the one who ‘courageously’ declared that he would be joining the Military Police as soon as he graduated. Unlike the people who were set on joining the Survey Corps, Jean was working hard to earn a life of luxury. He believed that being scared of death didn’t make him a coward, it made me smart. Maybe the praise from his peers went to his head, but for a while Jean really considered himself as brave.

An honest person can certainly be brave, but being honest didn’t always imply bravery.

After seeing Titans with his very own eyes, Jean once again began to question what it really meant to be brave. Honest words weren’t going to drive away the Titans. He wondered if being brave was putting your life on the line for others, but risking your life so someone else could live had seemed stupid. Why would anyone risk their own well being for someone else? It hadn’t made any sense to the young and naive Jean.

Maybe in the eyes of others, risking their life was a way to prove something - to prove that they were above others enough to put their lives on the line. Yet in Jean’s opinion, it only felt like they were brave enough to do something as stupid as die for nothing.

Putting your life on the line is certainly brave, but it’s really only perceived as brave when it’s your life for the many.

In both of these cases, and for a majority of his life, Jean considered bravery to be someone who goes out of their comfort zone. It wasn’t always something as extreme as sprinting into battle to pull a comrade out of the line of fire, but it was something new. Doing something that you wouldn’t have done before or that he himself could not do was what he thought bravery was.

When Jean was someone who hid behind the goals of joining the Military Police, he considered himself as brave. When he was stranded in the middle of Titan infested streets and only Mikasa stepped up to fight them, he considered her brave.

So what about now? What does it mean to be brave?

Jean’s eyes traced the outline of the fire. It cracked as it crumbled under his gaze. He sighed before taking another log and quickly dropping it across the surface of his fire. It was the last of what he’d gathered before. He knew he’d have to go and gather some more eventually, but right now, all he wanted to do was rest. He didn’t want to have to think about… anything really.

Tonight was a particularly cold night. A cold night for a regular human like him, anyway. He’d heard from Armin that Titan Shifters have a higher body temperature than regular people. It was strange though. For some reason, he felt like he knew this even before Armin told him.

The memory was more like… a dream.

That night had been a cold one too. Jean couldn’t recall what his room looked like, or how the moon had looked, or even what time it had been, but he remembered that it had been the day before Annie’s capture. Is that why he remembered it?

Was he remembering a night like this because of the similarities it had to this one? What a joke. He knew for a fact that he was remembering because of her. It was always her.

“Kirstein? Are you still awake?”

Speak of the devil and thou shall appear.

Jean leaned against a tree for a while. He hoped that (Y/n) would make a decision on her own accord, but she didn’t. She didn’t attempt to leave nor sit. She didn’t even try to check whether or not Jean was sleeping. If Jean waited long enough, she might leave. Then again, she might stand there all night. But alas, Jean was the one to break first.

With a deep sigh, Jean replied. “If I say no, would you leave me alone?”

“Wouldn’t it be cruel for me to leave you while you’re lonely?”

“I’m not lonely.”

“But you are alone.” (Y/n) placed a small pile of dry wood beside Jean before sitting down beside it. Both of them were quiet for a while. (Y/n) was content with this, but Jean was not as content as her.

To say Jean felt conflicted about working alongside the Warriors would be an understatement. Even before he knew that basically all of the Warriors were responsible for Marco’s death, teaming up with the Warriors wasn’t something he would’ve imagined. They were the reason for so much death. It wasn’t even limited to Paradis! It was everywhere. He’d seen it with his own eyes.

How could she sit beside him right now? How had she ever sat beside him knowing all of the things that she had done? How could Jean let himself sit beside her now, knowing the things that he had done?

(Y/n) picked up one of the small kindling she had brought and slowly placed it across the fire. Steam rose from the girl’s hand as she pulled it away, but her face showed no signs of discomfort.

“Didn’t that hurt?” Jean wondered.

“I’ve gotten used to the pain. We all have.” replied the Crystal Shifter. She held her hand up for Jean to see, and he watched as the steaming parts of her hand turned from red back to their natural hue. “You know, the punches you threw at Reiner were pretty ruthless. If you had used that kind of force with anyone other than a Titan Shifter, they likely would’ve died.”

Jean turned away. He didn’t feel like taking a lecture from anyone right now. Especially not from (Y/n). “Why are you here, (Y/n)?”

“Why do you think I’m here?”

“To make sure I’m not contacting Floch or something? I don’t know.”

“That is a valid reason, but no. I have no reason to suspect you of working alongside Floch. Even if I did, I have no right to tell you what is and isn’t right.”

“That still doesn’t answer my question.”

“Which was?”

Jean leaned back and gave (Y/n) a look as if to say ‘really?’

The girl chuckled to herself before meeting Jean’s gaze. “I came out here to make sure you were okay. Do you see me as such a manipulative person that you assume I have ulterior motives for checking up on one of my comrades?”

“A comrade, huh?” Jean teased. “Not even a friend anymore?”

“Did you want me to consider you a friend, Kristien?”

“Not really, but it’s… complicated. I’m definitely not the same kind of comrade the Warriors are to you, but I’m also not the same as Armin or Connie.”

“And how did you come to that conclusion?”

“Well for starters, you’ve already gone back to calling Armin and Connie by their first names, but not me. As a matter of fact, I’m the only person who you refer to by last name. Did I do something to you to deserve this?”

(Y/n) pursed her lips, her gaze back on the fire instead of Jean. How frustrating. But it’s always been that way with (Y/n), hasn’t it?

Before anyone knew about traitors or Titan Shifters, life had been simpler. Jean had been a boy who was constantly vying for the (h/c)ette’s attention just like everyone else. Unfortunately for him, his best friend was Marco. Now, Marco was as good of a friend as anyone would hope to have. Sometimes Jean considered himself lucky for having someone like Marco be his friend in the first place, but things weren’t very cut and dry.

Marco and Jean had been infatuated with (Y/n). (Y/n) had been drawn towards Marco. There was no room for Jean in that scenario. It was just him, watching someone he liked show interest in his best friend. It was almost pitiful how each time he’d manage to steal (Y/n)’s attention, Marco would inevitably take center stage.

Marco wasn’t a malicious guy, and Jean knew that well, but every time it happened Jean could only be frustrated with himself. It’s probably why (Y/n) had been drawn towards the freckled boy in the first place. Both of them were people who wore their hearts on their sleeves. Jean was someone who kept his heart under lock and key. Jean had never stopped liking (Y/n), but he was smart enough to know when to back off.

Sometime between Marco’s death and (Y/n)’s betrayal, everything changed. Obviously (Y/n) had lost people who she had been close to, but she always had a distant look in her eyes. She was always searching for something that no one else could see.

That was really the worst part of it all - falling in love with someone who wasn’t really there.

Something that was a cross between a laugh and a sigh suddenly escaped from Jean. He couldn’t even tell what he had wanted it to be, either. “Doesn’t tonight remind you of back when we were cadets? Or, I guess back then we were rookie Scouts.”

“I don’t really know what you’re getting at.”

“The night before we captured Annie. How I joked about you sleeping in the same bed as me, and then you did. It feels so long ago, you know?”

(Y/n) glanced at Jean, letting him catch the curious expression which rested on her features. It was curiosity and nothing more - not even a hint of familiarity.

“What about that other time?” questioned Jean. “It was around the time we were preparing to head to Shiganshina. I was throwing up in the bathroom at night, but then you showed up and we talked. You remember that, don’t you?”

“Well…”

“And what about tonight?”

“What about it?”

“Are you going to forget tonight like all of those other nights before it?” Jean sighed. He knew he was just taking shots in the dark, but he wanted it to be true. “You know, everyone I tell those things to say that I was probably mistaken - even you told me I was crazy at one point, but I really do remember it happening.”

“I’m not saying that I remember any of those things happening with clarity, but I won’t say whether or not they’ve actually occurred. I have so many different memories swimming around in this head of mine that I might mistake one of my predecessor’s memories for my own, but I also don’t think you’d lie. You’re not that kind of person.” (Y/n)’s expression seemed softer in the light of the fire. Perhaps at this moment her expression was softer, but Jean wasn’t sure.

“So then… what kind of person am I?”

“You’re honest, and empathetic. Kind with an almost naive outlook on life. And don’t get me started on how you wear your heart on your sleeve.” (Y/n) picked up another piece of wood and placed it in the fire. When she finished, she looked at Jean with a soft smile. “And you’re brave.”

“Brave?” repeated Jean. “I don’t think I’m a very brave person.”

“And what do you consider ‘bravery’ to be?”

“Being brave is being able to endure pain and having courage in general.”

“And that’s what you believe bravery is?”

“Well… not entirely.” Jean pulls on the sleeves of his jacket as he meets the (h/c)ette’s gaze. “I’ve actually never known what bravery is. I mean, I know what it is in general, but it’s never meant anything significantly different from what anyone else believes it is.”

“I see.” (Y/n) turns away from Jean, and the boy can feel his shoulders relax. “I believe that bravery is a combination of a lot of things, but two things specifically come to mind. Since the most obvious opposite of bravery is fear, I believe that part of being brave is to act in spite of fear. Don’t get me wrong, fear is a natural survival instinct so just acting out instead of being scared is not what I consider brave. It’s more like… stepping up to a challenge, even if you don’t think you can do it. Kind of like when you chose to join the Survey Corps instead of the Military Police.”

“And the other thing?”

“The other fundamental core I associate with bravery is having the strength to do what is necessary. Obviously my views have been skewed from growing up in a world that wanted me to be a perfect tool, but my views of bravery are far from what they taught was brave. Gabi, Falco and Emanon are naive and maybe a bit stupid at times, but I also believe that they’re brave. Becoming a Warrior is depicted as a selfless act because you’re dedicating yourself to Marley, but protecting others is what actually makes it a selfless act. I guess I’d call it necessary justice. Though, it’s taken me a long time to understand what ‘necessary’ is.”

“And what’s necessary to you?”

(Y/n) suddenly grinned, catching Jean off guard. “I didn’t realise you were so eager to learn about this kind of thing. I thought I was talking your ear off.”

“Not really. I’ve always wondered what it means to be brave, so knowing what you consider brave is… refreshing? I don’t even know what I’m saying.” Jean looked up at the sky through the gaps in the branches and leaves. “I feel like I’m having an out of body experience.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I feel like I’m experiencing deja vu. Here I am, after four years of hating you, talking to you like we’ve been friends all this time! It doesn’t feel right.”

“And what would feel right?”

“I don’t know. Fighting with you? Hating you again? It just feels unfair for me to be sitting here with you while Eren is… about to crush the world for us.”

“Why do you think Eren is crushing the world for you guys?”

“You do realise that we’re talking about the guy who, at age 15, was going to kill every single Titan with his own two hands. Now he’s using Titans to crush the whole world. It’s such a messed up turn of events.”

“Isn’t that why we’re going to stop him? Because it’s messed up and unfair?”

“Why are you doing that? Why do you keep answering my questions with more questions?” Jean ran his fingers through his hair impatiently. It seemed his body wanted to know the answer more than his mind, and the only way to speed up the process was to keep moving. He knew it wouldn’t, but boy, what he would’ve done to get a straight answer right now.

The Crystal Shifter tilted her head, “would you prefer I answer your questions a different way?”

“Of course.”

“And how would you like me to answer instead?”

Jean scoffed, “with answers, obviously.”

“Is it really that obvious?”

Of course it was obvious. Questions were supposed to be answered with answers. Heck, answers were so important that even unanswered questions, like rhetorical questions, were questions with implied responses. At this point, continuing with the conversation seemed redundant.

Jean knew better than anyone that the person sitting beside him was no longer who he had once known. But oh, how her eyes shone with the same warmth he’d always known them to have. She no longer hid her eyes behind the cold blue of her Crystals. Now they were back to what they had once been. After four years of being perceived as a monster, she was here as the human she’d once been.

Or maybe she’d always been human, but Jean had convinced himself otherwise.

How cruel of him.

Jean was back to tracing the fire with his eyes. He was back to thinking about anything and everything. He wondered if he would’ve been better off telling (Y/n) to leave him alone, or if coming out here was the right thing to do at all.

“Sometimes I wonder what life would’ve been like for me if I had stayed in Paradis instead of going back to Marley.” Confessed (Y/n). “I wonder what would’ve changed if I’d been able to save Mina, or if I hadn’t helped the other Warriors kill Marco. I really don’t think I was strong enough to make a difference, but still… people like us can’t help but wonder.”

“What do you mean ‘people like us?’”

“I’m not lumping you in with the rest of us Warriors, if that’s what you’re asking. Rather, people like us are people who have the strength to cause change. I know for a fact that not everyone agrees with the idea of Eren crushing the world; there are even people in Paradis who are against the idea, but those people cannot change anything. It’s not their fault that they don’t have the fundamentals required, but that also doesn’t mean that they can’t change things. It’s just… different.”

“I hate to admit it, but for a while I was genuinely considering siding with Floch and living a luxurious life within the walls. I guess old habits die hard.”

“To be fair, no one really wants to be the villain. As someone who has been forced to fight dozens of battles, I’m sure that many people have depicted me and the other Warriors as villains. I guess the craziest thing about it all is that at the end of the day, Warriors are deemed heroes because Marley is the nation that gets the final say in things.”

“Isn’t that just the kind of world we live in? The world is a place where winners are the ones who get to tell the story, not the losers.” Once again, Jean found himself leaning back and gazing at (Y/n). He didn’t like how he kept looking back at her. “Hey, I’m sorry for hurting Emanon.”

“It’s nice that you’re apologising, but you really should apologise to her and not me.”

“I know, and I will. It’s just that the two of you are really close so…”

(Y/n) hummed, acknowledging Jean as his sentence trailed away. “I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to save Marco. I knew he was your best friend but still couldn’t-”

“No, I get it. It was Marco or the Warriors. There really wasn’t much competition, was there?”

“Not when the Warriors tried so hard to get me to remember them, no. Every single one of them has been there for me. It wouldn’t be fair for me to just toss them aside and let them fend for themselves.”

“What was it like to grow up with them in…?”

“The Warrior Program?” (Y/n) sighed to herself for a moment. “It wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine, that’s for sure. It was like going through the Cadet Corps training but three times harder while also being three times younger. Kids like us grew up training and fighting. It was a twisted relationship where we were friends, comrades and rivals all at the same time. But that was our way of life. It was all we’d ever known.”

“You guys seem alright. I mean, that newest generation of Warriors isn’t half bad.”

“Yeah, but it isn’t half good either. Our generation and their generation has always been referred to as adequate. Our individual skills are all there, but none of us are really ‘leader’ material. It’s probably the main reason why our mission to Paradis fell apart so quickly. We were tools. We weren’t able to think for ourselves or make proper decisions. We were just… kids.”

The Crystal Shifter picked up a piece of kindling and picked at it. “Annie and Pieck have always followed orders. Bertholdt was too timid to really step up and lead the group which was what made him such a perfect vessel for Titan powers in the first place. Porco was a good fighter, but he was always comparing himself to his older brother - the one who was supposed to lead our mission on Paradis. Zeke is… well, you already know what Zeke’s done.”

“What about you and Reiner?”

“I’ve always cared for Reiner. When he was a kid he was pretty soft spoken. He has always wanted to do what he thinks is best. Unfortunately for him, he grew a proper conscience; as a matter of fact, we all did. It was different for all of us, but one day the things we were doing caught up to us. We knew the things we were doing weren’t the right things to do, but we also didn’t have a choice in the matter. We simply had to keep moving forward with our lives because, well, why else would we be living?”

“You saying that kind of reminds me of Eren.”

“Well yeah. I probably inadvertently picked it up from him. I understand where he’s coming from and why he feels like crushing the world is the only way forward, but that doesn’t mean I think it’s right. I’m not trying to become a martyr or a hero by opposing him, either. I’m just trying to live.” (Y/n) stood up and dusted off her pants.

“You’re going now?” asked Jean.

“I want to make sure Emanon is okay. She’s been through a lot in the past few days, so I want to be there for her.”

“And Reiner?”

“What about Reiner?”

“Do you care for him, too?”

(Y/n) smiled at Jean, placing the kindling she’d been picking at in the boy’s hands. “I always end up saying way more than I mean to when I talk to you. Did you know that?”

“Not enough, apparently.” Jean mumbled, earning a short laugh from the girl.

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

“How do you know I’ll come back?”

(Y/n) shot one last glance at Jean over her shoulder. “Because you’re someone who’ll do what he thinks is right.”

Jean listened to the Shifter’s footsteps as she disappeared into the night. A part of him wanted to go back to the others right now, but he knew better than to return in his current state of mind. Once again, he was reduced to tracing the outline of the fire on his own.

The wood (Y/n) had handed Jean was warmer than his own hands. Despite how the Crystal Shifter had been feeding the fire, its glow was rather dim.

How could she be so certain about him? How could (Y/n) be so sure that he would return tomorrow when even he wasn’t sure about returning? Was he simply that predictable? Jean liked to think that he’s significantly changed in the past four years, but his conversation with (Y/n) felt like any other conversation he might have had with her before. But was that really a bad thing?

Jean held the wood overtop of the flames. Even if some vindictive part of himself wanted to prove the Crystal Shifter wrong, he knew that there would be no merit in it - not that he was doing things for the merit. If he was going to go back, he was going back because it was the right thing to do.

In that moment, as embers from the fire landed on the piece of wood in his hands, Jean once again wondered what it meant to be brave.

Was it honesty? Going outside of your comfort zone, or acting in spite of fear? Or was it, perhaps, something as simple as having the strength to do what was necessary? Jean didn’t think he could say which of these it might be, let alone what else might contribute to bravery, but he did know that it was okay to be unsure.

Jean dropped the piece of wood he held into the fire. It was a pretty cold night, and he didn’t want to catch a cold before tomorrow.

#third person pov #jean kirschtien #jean kirschtein x reader #fluff #aot x reader #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #attack on titan x reader #jean x reader #Chapter from my work Allies and Enemies #can be read as a standalone #aka #can be read as a oneshot

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redskull199987 · 2 years

Text

Betrayl

Eren Jaeger x female!reader

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: none basically, making out?

Summary: You couldn't believe that Eren would betray you and your friends. As him and the Jaegerists capture your squad, an exiting talk awaits you...

Masterlist

All I could do was watch in Horror, as Eren slowly sat down at our table. Gabi next to him had the most frightened look on her face, I've ever seen.

Armin and Mikasa looked even worse. To say they were shocked, was an understatement.

"Eren", I mumbled.

He didn't even look at me, he kept his eyes focused on Mikasa. And then he started talking and talking. He said all those horrible things. I didn't even notice him anymore. Where was the Eren that I fell in love with? Where was the sweet boy, who always stood up for his people? The boy whose only goal it was to protect and fight for his island? Where was he?

"Y/N?"

I looked up from my place in the cell. It was Jean who said my name. He smiled sadly and slowly said down next to me.

"How are you doing?", he asked.

"I wish I could say that I am fine", I mumbled and leaned my head against his shoulder, "But what Eren did back at the Restaurant...I didn't even notice him. What he did to Armin and Mikasa..."

I stumbled over my own words. I couldn't say it, to afraid of it. Because as soon as I said it, I knew that it was true. That Eren had...changed, and not for the better.

"I know", Jean mumbled, "Armin told us"

A sigh left my lips, I just couldn't believe it. Why would Eren do such a thing? Why would he betray us?

"I like to believe that he's still in there, you know", Jean mumbled. I looked up at him perplexed.

"That the little suicidal maniac is still inside him, somewhere. But, I refuse to believe that he's gone."

I smiled at his words:"Hopefully you're right."

"Yeah I hope so too-"

Jean was interrupted by the sound of the cell door opening. It was Floch.

"Y/N, Eren wants to speak to you", he said and walked over to me."

"She's not going!", Jean jumped up, "Not alone"

I slowly got up and put a hand on his shoulder:"It's alright"

"But Y/N-", he mumbled.

"I just hope you're right", I said and squeezed his shoulder a bit. Jean seemed to understand and slowly stepped aside.

I followed Floch as he stepped out of the cell. I looked at Armin and Mikasa on my way out. Both of them looked concerned.

"Be careful", Armin mumbled, as I passed him. I nodded and finally stepped out of the cell. I watched as Floch closed the door and waited for him to tie up my hands, but he never did it.

Perplexed I followed him. He guided me through the building, through the floors I've walked so many times, together with Mikasa and Armin, with Jean, Conny and Sasha...and with Eren.

"We're here", Floch said and stopped in front of a huge wooden door. It was the bureau of the late Secretary, if I wasn't mistaken.

"He's waiting", Floch mumbled before leaving me alone in front of the door. He knew that I wouldn't try anything. The Jaegerists were stationed everywhere around the building. I wouldn't even make it back to the others.

So, there was only one way left and that was the door right in front of me.

I breathed in shakingly before I grabbed the handle and pushed the door open. I stepped inside and closed the door behind me.

I glanced around the room and noticed Eren in front of the Windows. We were alone.

"Y/N", he said.

I gasped. It had been so long, since I heard him say my name. So long, since we had a quiet minute together. It was so long ago, that he confessed his feelings for me. Back when we were still cadets.

"I missed you", Eren mumbled.

He turned around and looked at me. A light smile was lingering on his face.

I didn't know what to say, so I only stepped closer to him.

He had changed so much. He was much taller now, his hair so long now, he was wearing it in a bun.

I couldn't help myself and raised my hand to softly caress his face. I watched as Eren closed his eyes and carefully put his hand on top of mine.

"I missed you too", I confessed and looked down. I couldn't bare looking at him. I couldn't bare the fact that I still missed him, after all he did to us.

"Look at me", Eren mumbled. I shook my head. I just couldn't. I already felt the tears slipping down my face. I feared that if I looked at him, I would loose my mind.

"Y/N", Eren said softly. I felt his hand slip under my chin and he pulled my face up to look at him.

He watched with a sad smile how the tears ran down my cheeks.

"I am sorry", he mumbled and slowly wiped away my tears with his thump.

"Why Eren? Why did you do all this?", I asked. My voice was so quiet and shaky, it was a wonder if he even understood what I said.

"For you", Eren said, "And for Armin, for Mikasa, for Jean, for the Captain. For everyone on this island. I did it all to save our people"

"And what about all the people who died?!", I yelled and slapped his hand away, "What about Sasha, hm!?! What about her!?"

"What happened to Sasha...", Eren pressed out, "That is something that will never happen again. I will make sure of it. I will make sure that all people of Marley will be wiped out"

My eyes widened at his Words:"What do you...?"

"I was never working together with Zeke, or Yelena. I'm only using them. All I want from Zeke is the power of the founding Titan. His plan to make all Eldinas infertile is ridiculous! That would be the end for our people!"

"So...Everything that you said, was a lie?", I asked perplexed, "Everthing that you said to Mikasa? And everything that Yelena and the Jaegerists told us?"

"It's all a lie", Eren nodded. He cautiously stepped closer to me again, "Y/N, I will always be on your side. I would never betray you. You and the Levi squad, you guys are my family. How could I betray you?"

"Eren, I-", I didn't know what to say. Of course, I Was beyond relieved, that Eren didn't betray us, but on the other hand, I didn't know if I could trust him? Was he telling the truth? What if it was just a trick?

"Y/N, I'm-", Eren started, but it seemed like he was out of words himself. So he let his actions speak.

Eren stepped forward and grabbed my arm, pulling me into his chest. His arms entangled themselves around my waist and as I looked up at him, his lips were on mine. I was a little shocked at first, but after mere seconds I gave in. Our lips moved together in sync and I felt him pulling me impossibly closer, while my hands wandered up to rest around his neck.

I felt Eren sigh against my lips and used the opportunity to sneak my tongue into his mouth. Eren was eager to respond, his lips working against mine, as we fought for dominance. But ultimately Eren won and he pushed me against the desk behind us.

"Jump", he whispered against my lips and I obeyed immediately, as I felt how he pushed his lips against my jaw and made his way down my neck. I felt Eren's cool hands slip under my uniform shirt, as he started roaming the exposed skin.

"Eren", I sighed against his shoulder, as he kissed my sweet spot. It felt heavenly.

But suddenly I remembered, What situation we were in.

I pulled away and pushed Eren off me. He looked perplexed.

"Eren, I-", I mumbled again,"Waht are you gonna do next?"

"I will-"

He was interrupted, as we heard explosions go off in the distance. The building shook multiple times and I fell off of the desk, that I was still sitting on.

"Y/N, are you alright?", Eren shouted and jumped over to help me up.

"I'm fine", I mumbled and walked over to the windows.

"It's them, it's Marley", I stated as I saw the airships, "Reiner and the others two Titans are a hundred percent with them"

"Y/N, you need to go and get the others. Explain it to them. We will need their help", Eren said and pulled me back against him.

"I am going to finish this, once and for all. But I will need your help", he said and grabbed my hand.

I was still not very fond of his plan to kill all of Marley, but right now we had no choice. They were attacking Paradis and we had to work together to survive.

"We're gonna win this", I said sternly and nodded. I felt Eren slightly squeeze my hand. He smiled and pulled me in for another kiss. He pressed his lips against mine passionately. This kiss was different then the one before. It was full of emotions and unspoken words. Words we didn't have time for now. Words that were going to be spoken in the future...Hopefully.

"I love you", Eren mumbled as we parted.

"I know", I smiled, "And I love you"

"Go now!", Eren said and pushed me towards the door. His hand left mine and I looked back one last time, the look on Erens face was concerning. He looked like he could destroy the entire world, and I was afraid that he would do exactly that...

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kirschteinoir · 2 years

Text

new day, new year.

jean kirschtein x genderneutral!reader.

❝“goodnight kirschtein, see you in the morning.”

you haven’t the will to fight the drowsy feeling as he settles his jacket over your shoulders and shuts the window, keeping the cold air from making you shiver. he doesn’t make a move to lay next to you, though he’s feeling pretty fatigued himself, a lot earlier than normal.

““goodnight my love, i really hope i will.”.” ❞

it’s december 31st and jean is stuck in a time loop: every night, as people ring in the new year, jean races against the clock to find and kiss his soulmate at midnight. if he doesn’t do it in time, he’s is forced to live the day over again.

wc; 2551

jean immediately woke with cold sweat settling on his skin. his eyes darted towards the digital alarm clock in a frenzy, head flopping back down onto his pillow when he realises the time. eren was yet to rouse and wake him up shortly after so jean laid in bed with his eyes closed again and tried to slow his breathing until 6:00am rolled around.

every morning that he awoke early, jean thought about how all of this had started: he remembers christmas, which felt like a lifetime ago, before the last week of december had blended together and he’d woke up on new year’s eve; the day had gone by smoothly and he’d had been buzzing for the party later, hosted by his good friend connie (who loved any excuse for a party). he’d picked out his best clothes and styled his hair promptly, thinking ‘it’s only one night, i should go all out.’

it was a good night overall, a great one even. but when the countdown had begun jean had panicked ever so slightly because he couldn’t find a new year’s kiss, as cheesy as that sounds - he’s a romantic guy and has known to be partial to festive cliches. however his supposed date had wandered off somewhere, or even had left the party well before the witching hour and so as the clock struck midnight and the date on his phone blinked over to the 1st of january, jean fell asleep alone surrounded by couples and the flickering of the fireworks outside.

the first time it had happened, jean was extremely confused.

when he’d woken up back in his bed, despite having passed out on a small armchair in connie’s basement, he hadn’t acknowledged the sense of de ja vu, nor did he have the wicked hangover he expected after all the drinking he did to numb him from his loneliness. he didn’t clock the date on his phone when he opened it to find new messages about some party: hadn’t they just celebrated the new year? he quickly voiced this confusion to his friends, hoping that they would tell him it’s an elaborate prank and that today was actually december 31st but all he got were equally as confused responses and connie’s “what do you mean? it’s the 31st today jeany-boy, the party’s tonight!”

jean’s heart rate sped up as he opened the calendar app, indeed confirming the date today in an intimidating black font that mocked and taunted him. after mulling over the panic in his mind, jean realised he was stuck in a time loop and had yet to figure out how to break it.

in the ‘present day’, jean was unsure of what year it was and what was happening outside of this time loop - it had quite literally become his life to be constantly surrounded by the promise of a party and then sulking for the entire evening until he fell asleep just after midnight and the vicious cycle repeated itself.

when his 6:00am alarm finally rang, jean switched it off immediately and began to count down the seconds until eren would burst into his room, wearing a white hoodie and a pair of dark blue jeans, telling his best friend that they had to make an emergency trip to the store to pick up some last minute snacks.

knowing what would happen and when was little comfort to jean when he still wasn’t clear on the only thing that would make him feel better: knowing how to break the time loop and make it into the next year. for a few cycles, jean experimented with the time loop by making small changes every now and then to see what would happen - the butterfly effect and all that. however it wasn’t long before his worst fears were confirmed: he was unfortunately unable to alter the time loop. like the first time playing a video game, it would never let him leave his room until eren had shown up and it wouldn’t let him open his wardrobe to get dressed before the brunet had flounced out a few minutes later. he would need to unlock the first part of the opening sequence to interact with the rest of the world.

as soon as the word one had been uttered by jean, his door was flung open in a raucous manner and in bounced eren jaeger, his close friend and roommate of many years. he was already washed and dressed, yelling at jean to wake up so that they could go together and buy some different doritos because armin was being picky about the flavours he wanted. groaning, jean ushered him out of his room despite the former’s complaints and whines and at last, he was free to use the bathroom and freshen up.

after the hassle about the snacks, which jean had easily rectified by buying a few more bags of each flavour, the afternoon soon bled into evening and the whole of paradis seemed to be thrumming, alive with the electricity of the next 365 days - a new beginning.

“it’s almost 10, why are there so little people here?” connie whines loudly, breaking into another can of beer. jean had heard this complaint a hundred times and he mumbled along to them under his breath like he was rehearsing lines from a play. he knew how it all played out: eren smacked connie upside the head, spewing a few lines about how people would show up soon, though he didn’t sound too convinced himself and checked the time on his phone a lot. jean himself sipped his drink leisurely, watching sasha and mikasa race each other on mario kart, despite being at a party they helped host. armin busied himself by organising the snacks for the nth time, carding a hand through his blonde fringe when he was unhappy with the layout on the table, and it was moments like these that jean felt most comfortable. even though he was doubtful, maybe tonight would finally be his night and that he’d be able to break this cruel curse and be engulfed back into the real world, with real time. he’d grown so used to being a part of this somewhat twisted show, this continuously replaying scene, that he wasn’t sure what he’d do when the velvet curtains finally close and there is no cruel encore.

the minutes turned into hours and suddenly, the party was in full swing. on the original night jean’d been smiling and dancing with his friends like a lunatic, letting loose for once after a tough month of college. but jean had done that too many times now that the thought had lost its lustre and slumped against the kitchen counter, sipping his fourth drink of the night. all hope of finally escaping withers away with the alcohol that trickles down his throat and the familiar buzz brings him light-heartedness once again. his limbs relax and his shoulders stop being so tense, sagging ever so slightly. maybe tonight he’d just enjoy himself like he’d done countless nights before.

just before you had ruined his routine in the most perfect way possible, jean had been humming along to the song blasting from the speakers as he washes out his cup, filling it with water in a pitiful attempt at self-control. he doesn’t notice another presence behind him until he’s taken a step back and bumped into you gently. the drink you had been pouring spills all over the counter, reflecting the coloured LED lights like a mirage, and immediately he turns to apologise.

the words about to spiral past his lips become lodged in his throat when he drinks in the sight of you. you, in all your glammed-up glory, looking utterly... angelic. wracking his brain for any memory of you, jean feels whiplash when he remembers nothing. he’s never seen you before in his life.

“umm...hello? could you please pass me a tissue?” you ask sweetly, with urgent undertones as the alcohol drying on your hand feels uncomfortably sticky. the mysterious boy with the swept back ash-brown hair snaps out of his trance and gives you a charming smile before handing you a wad of kitchen roll and helping you clean up the mess he caused. as you two work in tandem, he apologises profusely despite your efforts to set him straight.

“i’m really sorry, i should’ve been watching what i was doing!”

“honestly, don’t worry. i should’ve been more wary of the small space,” you say with an awkward laugh. there’s another moment of silence as you gazes both skim over the other, taking in their appearance like it’s the last time you’ll see each other. there’s a strange sort of magnetism between the two of you and you decide that you like him and would like to get to know him (although you feel as if you know him better than you know yourself already). your date for the night had melted into the crowd anyway so is there really any harm in indulging this friendly stranger?

“i’m y/n, what’s your name?”

there were no words to describe the elation jean had felt when you struck up a friendly conversation with him. he’d gotten the sense that you felt it too, but the more time you spent together, the less you wanted to be apart. after introducing himself, he was immediately infatuated with you, jean hadn’t even bothered to check in on his friends (not that he needed to: he knew connie would be playing beer pong with bertholdt and reiner in the basement, armin would be passed out in connie’s bedroom upstairs with mikasa and eren fussing over him and sasha would be mixing up a storm at the liquor station) because he felt as though time with you was slipping through his fingers like the purest silk and he craved your attention and validation like no other. he liked how your eyes looked when you smiled, how you would become flsutered and punch him gently on the arm when he’d tease you a little, and he definitely didn’t miss the way your gaze would sometimes flutter to his lips and back up to his eyes as he spoke.

before you both knew it, midnight was looming above you. it was at this point in the evening when jean started to worry that you’d leave but you showed no sign of moving away from his warmth as you laughed into the crystal night sky. when the music became too loud and the lights flashed too much, he’d taken you to refuge on the upper level of the house in a room with a tiny balcony - barely enough room to fit you both - where partygoers made themselves scarce. the midnight chill cooled your racing hearts and hot cheeks. even after spending the whole evening together, you hoped he wasn’t like every other guy you’d spent the night at a party with and would just disappear the next morning, no telephone number in sight. you got the gut feeling that jean wasn’t like that though, with his arm draped over you loosely and you curled into his body. he’s been delicate with you the entire night, treating you like the finest china, but the grip on your arm is strong. you’re lost in the steady rhythm of his breathing as the countdown to midnight begins, the shouts distance when you’re surrounded by him.

unbeknownst to you, you are his only hope.

“i’m not sure why i feel this way,” you mumble into his shirt, taking his silence as a means to continue, “but i feel like i’ve known you forever. have we met before?”

the low rumble of laughter fills your ears.

as the countdown closed in, you had made up your mind to spend your new year’s kiss on jean kirstein. and you’re quite determined about this too, refusing to go home without the lingering feeling of his lips on yours.

FIVE!

“no, we haven’t,” he replies softly looking down at you, nervous eyes running over your own lips, silently asking for your permission.

FOUR!

“hmm, that’s weird then.” it’s barely a whisper as you lean up to him, slowly closing the distance.

THREE!

suddenly he sighs and smiles. “thank you, y/n.”

TWO!

“for what?” you whisper. you can smell his cologne as your noses brush.

ONE!

“for breaking my curse and finally closing the curtains on this shitshow for good.”

you don’t have time to decipher the cryptic metaphor when he leans in, your lips locking softly. the kiss lasts for no more than a few seconds but you both feel exhilarated as you break apart and rest your foreheads together. the mix of alcohol and feelings starts to catch up with you as the fireworks connie got from god-knows-where begin to flash in the prettiest colours and patterns across the sky and you’re not sure why you suddenly feel so sleepy. he leads you inside, his thumb rubbing warm circles over the back of your hand and you practically collapse onto the bed.

“goodnight kirstein, see you in the morning.”

“goodnight my love, i really hope i will.”

about me.

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