#jodi I love how your brain works

[snake-snack-stede]

so all of our knees hurt, huh? ✌️😔

like, i know we’re committed to the fandom, and like adopting bits and pieces of the characters, and “part of the ship part of the crew” and all of that…

…BUT AT WHAT COST LOL 😭

LMAOOO the fandom depends on whatever happens to ed next season. if they don't get that man some ibuprofen we're all going to crumble 😭🙏

#jodi I love how your brain works #saltpepperbeard

[zagreuses-toast]

I come from a place of sheer curiousity and I just wanna ask genuinely- you say that you're a fan of 13s/ the chibnall era. Why? Doctor who is my favourite show and I've connected with every incarnation deeply and immediately, but have never been able to "click" with 13, despite my best efforts. What is it that you like about her? What is it that you like about chibnalls writing? I want to know and I want to like her/it too, but as of right now, I just... don't. Obviously you're not obligated to, but can you explain why?

Ok so this ended up being a Long Post, so I'm putting my response under the read more. Also I'm assuming you've actually watched the Chibnall era up to The Power of The Doctor, if you haven't then heads up for spoilers and stuff that might not make much sense without context.

Oh and I'm gonna @ @rearranging-deck-chairs and @ssaalexblake because I see their DW opinions all the time and they're really good and they can probably give more nuanced answers on some things. (Idk how well I did on explaining why I liked some of them, and it really is up to personal preference on some things)

Thirteen herself:

There are a lot of reasons I like Chibnalls era, but one of the biggest ones out the gate is definitely Jodie and her acting in the role of the Doctor. I think the way she balances bouncy gregariousness with the colder more angry and mean aspects of the Doctor is great. She does this thing where she can just make her eyes go dead and then smile like it's a threat, like she's gonna bite, especially when going up against villains. It's great. And Jodie herself is a delightful person.

Beyond just physical acting choices, I find the thirteenth Doctors struggle between her anger and secrecy, vs her desire to connect and her joy at life very very compelling. She keeps this distance that's really interesting I think, where she's genuinely attached to and trying to be a friend to the Fam, but still trying to keep her whole past out of the deal, which doesn't work that well, as we see in s12 and Flux. She's surrounded by death and haunted by the knowledge of how little time she has with her friends, (Grace, and she just came back from bill) but she still wants and needs that connection, and she learns to live in the present a bit. I made a whole post about her final regeneration speech here. I love her arc a lot even if it hurts. Also she's such a horrible hypocrite about so many things, which also makes her a fun character to rotate in my head and study like a bug. I do see it as being on purpose, some people seem to think it's just bad writing that she contradicts herself but imo that's a big part of her character.

Chibnalls writing:

I personally like the timeless child plot because :

There are a lot of stories and ideas in the Chibnall era I like, and a lot more I find very compelling. Whatever your opinions on the writing (and I definitely have had a lot of critique for some bits), there were a lot of ideas introduced that were fun and interesting. One of the weaker points of the era IMO is having so much fun stuff set up, but only shallowly or quickly exploring it, and then adding more stuff on top.

A lot of things didn't get the exploration/screen time I thought they deserved (especially characterization and interaction/dialogue wise). But that just gives my brain more to chew on at the end of the day, and I do love what was done during the seasons itself, not just all the potential stuff.

1) I can connect with it, I know Chibnall was coming at it from a place of being an adoptee, but as a native person the story of a kid taken and raised into an imperial/colonial society, who had their history stolen and their body exploited to further that societies ends, hits very close to home.

And 2) I have a "everything is true at once" approach to canon and I think the more origin stories we make for the Doctor the funnier it is.

This era had a lot of repeating themes, ideas that showed up and we're explored in a lot of different circumstances, often with a rule of 3 aspect to it. One is themes of Empire and Exploitation. Particularly through the stenza in s11 (empire using up planets, introduced to us basically doing foxhunts for clout, but with People instead of foxes), the dalek specials, the Cybermen in s12, and Division/the timelords in flux (as well as the sontarans &co).

Within that there's the repeating motif of how by exploiting people or their beliefs for power the imperial power/bad guys sew the seeds of their destruction. From Tzim Sha using the Ux and them turning against him, to the Division being destroyed by the Ravagers, who they tried to use to get rid of the Doctor/the old universe (and the doctor and even the master going rogue in the first place). Hell even Kerblam! (I know I know) Has a version, where the AI system being used to do terrible things is the one to call the doctor for help!

Another standout are themes of breaking cycles, Ryan is estranged from his dad and was distancing himself from Graham, but they both put in the work and grow extremely close over their two seasons. He also chooses to leave the TARDIS when he realizes he's absent from his friend's lives and wants to be present. And the Doctor gets to break the cycle of exploitation that Tecteun started, when she meets a vulnerable being with mysterious power (the energy being from TPOTD) she helps it free itself, on a way she wasn't helped.

Individual character stuff:

Going again into more individual character stuff I love, I've gotta give it to Sacha Dhawan for being a fucking superb Master. His acting is bonkers amazing and he does a great job portraying the sorta huge personal crisis the master is going through, and externalizing via evil schemes. At the end of Twelves run we saw Missy try to be like the doctor, to get her friend back (and even succeed a bit) but end up dying for it. Now we come back to a master who died trying to be like the person they see as their only equal, and has discovered (wrongly) that they were never equal to begin with, that the doctor is so much more than them. So he tries to make her like him instead, and If she won't become like him and kill them both along with the rest of gallifrey, then he will become her properly this time (by body snatching), ruin her legacy, and die with her eventually (overtaking her in the same way his whole existance has now been caused/overtaken by the doctor in his eyes, because of her being the source of regeneration)

Also can we talk about the Yaz?? I've been dying to talk about Yaz!!! I love her a lot and I find her fascinating, shes probably my favorite companion based on just sheer amount of time spent Thinking about her. Her doctorification/character arc is so good

Yaz is into the travelling and saving the day lifestyle the Doctor gives her for the responsibility of it all, for feeling useful and capable and good. Her early characterization Monet's include her complaining about not having more interesting jobs as a cop because she wants responsibility, she wanted to be important and helpful (that's the entire reason she became a cop, to help people like she was helped when she was in a dark place, and she finds a better way of doing that with the Doctor). And she GETS THERE, narratively and on a character level, she spends three years on earth with her own companions! She co-pilots the TARDIS and can fly her herself! She saves the day when the master steals the doctors body! And most of all SHES EXTREMELY SAD AT THE END BECAUSE THE PERSON SHE LOVES DIED BEFORE HER!! JUST LIKE THE DOCTOR !! (ugly crying) (I could write a whole other post about thasmin, good and bad, but a lot of people have put it better than me)

Also, I'm a big TARDIS girlie, she has somehow ended up being one of my favorite characters in doctor who, and the chinball era does so much fun stuff with the TARDIS!! Different writers take different approaches to the TARDIS, and how alive vs inanimate, or how active vs passive she is. I think the Chinball era had something special in terms of the way the TARDIS was depicted, and I loved it a lot. We never really get to see past the control room but it's a gorgeous control room! And throughout the era the TARDIS just feels so alive, it's always humming and beeping and chirping, I especially love the moments when the lights change color to match the doctors mood (mostly to blue, for sadness, sometimes red to yell at that dalek that one time). And speaking of the doctor, starting with ghost monument thirteen has a bunch of sweet moments of banter or just ~emotions~ with the TARDIS. I genuinely teared up a bit when she entrusted the timeless child memories to the TARDIS,and before her regeneration speech when she asked the TARDIS to look after her. Because who can she trust with her past AND her future except her oldest truest friend.

I could add a lot more of specific things from the era I love (solitract my beloved) but I think this is getting long enough as is lol.

#doctor who #thirteenth doctor #chibnall #jodie whittaker #flux #timeless child #dw #also sorry about answeing so late i forgot this in my drafts lol

[songliili]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thank you @happiness-of-the-pursuit for tagging me

How many works do you have on ao3? only 10 as of now, but i hope it'll be 13 by the end of the year

What's your total ao3 word count? 107,767

What fandoms do you write for? rwrb and supernatural. although it's mostly rwrb as of now

Top five fics by kudos:

we all have a hunger - Henry is a porn star, Alex is a fan.

bro, you're fucking hung! - Alex is fascinated by Henry's huge dick.

Fill My Stocking - Alex wants some attention and Henry has to get creative.

you should floss more - Dean goes to the dentist and is his usual disaster bi self. Lucky for him, his dentist doesn't mind.

footage of (y)our love - Alex and Henry get married, and 2/3 of the Super Six documented their love story.

Do you respond to comments? yes, i do my best at not leaving them unanswered!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? probably I Had Some Time (With You) because of the mcd tag and the kind of open ending with claire and jody that i left just in case i decide to write claire's story. but i also think that dean and cas had a soft beautiful and loving end, so yeah it's sad but i don't think it's a sad fic? more like haunting in a positive way (this makes me sound so pretentious but i just love that story so much and i'd love for more people to read it it too)

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? i genuinely don't know? all of them have happy endings imo... probably psau1 tho. simply because i'm writing the sequel and i know they're even more happy lmao.

Do you get hate on fics? thankfully i don't!

Do you write smut? yep! and i thought i wasn't able to. (peep at my two most popular fics being rated E and the second being just pwp)

Craziest crossover: i don't think it's crazy but I Had Some Time (With You) kind of is a crossover with the last of us? i mixed up tlou and spn.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of, but i don't think anyone would steal my stuff, i'm nobody

Have you ever had a fic translated? ... well............. eight years ago i wrote a fic for a kpop group and before orphaning it someone asked me permission to translate it. i don't know if they ever did it, and i can't check cause i don't remember the title so i can't even look it up

Have you ever co-written a fic before? i've started writing a fic with @zeppelinmixtape a while ago, we should pick it back up.

All time favorite ship? destiel and firstprince, obviously

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? probably the great dean court off, and it's a shame cause i love it and i want to finish it cause i have the ending clear in my head, but i changed so much as a writer that i think i'd have to rework it all to avoid a stark contrast between then and now/the future.

What are your writing strengths? once @cactusdragon517 told me that my italian brain "lends so much to it. It is so beauful and the way you write it feels like reading something SACRED." (yes, i copy-pasted their message cause i saved it in a note on my phone for when i need a ego boost)

What are your writing weaknesses? i'm verbose but at the same time i skim on things. small things turn into big things and fics that can be under 5k turn into 10k, 'cause small, insignificant details and context in conversations are needed; but not descriptions. for the life of me i can't remember that people aren't in my head and they need to know who's talking and what the place they're in looks like.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? i'm a sucker for it, but if they're written in a language i know i will be critic of the translation used - and if i know the author i will suggest a translation that in my opinion is better.

First fandom you wrote in? aforementioned kpop fandom. no, i will not disclose what group or pairing.

Favorite fic you've written? I Had Some Time (With You) and we all have a hunger. but also mh fp, ciayaq? and psau2 that live in my wips folder. (and if y'all want to tell me what's your favourite of my silly little fics, let me know!)

i guess i have to tag 20 people now, i don't know who's done this already so forgive me if you did.

(mae, chrissy, consider your previous tags as tagging for the game lmao)

@father-salmon @underwaterninja13 @leojfitz @read-and-write- @littlemisskittentoes @galitzine-nick @inexplicablymine @affectionatelyrs @gayrootvegetable @wordsofhoneydew @emmalostinwonderland @rockyroadkylers @three-drink-amy @theprinceandagcd @imyourhoneybeespn @princehgejfmw @absolute-audacity @firenati0n

#20 questions for fic writers #20 questions #tag game #songliili answers #songliili writes #firstprince #rwrb #red white and royal blue #destiel #supernatural #fan fiction #fanfic #fanfiction

[lemonofthevalley]

ooo id love to hear your disability headcanons for anyone!! and or everyone!!

hi anon i am making this disability and chronic illness hcs for them :3

darryl: crohn's. you know i had to after the eldritch shit incident. he was originally misdiagnosed with IBS but eventually got diagnosed with crohn's disease

ron: his joints are very loose and dislocate a lot. he had to learn how to relocate them at home because willy wouldn't take him to the doctor for it. he did it once in front of sammie and she was horrified

henry: he also has loose joints from wildshape moving his bones around n shit . in oakvale he would tough out the pain because healing spells dont really do much if theres just pain and no official injury . also migraines from the doodler lineage

glenn: similar to nick with the shitty joints (bones)! nick got it from him, even when jodie was his bio dad, heart issues (even before he died)

grant: pcos grant ftw (he is never cis to me). similar stomach problems 2 darryl

did terry jr here

lark: migraines from the doodler lineage, chronic fatigue that he ignores and works until he drops, back pain probably

sparrow: migraines from the doodler lineage, gets dizzy easily, chronic fatigue that she ignores in favor of helping others

did nick here

lincoln: chronic pain that he thinks is just from his growth spurts. sorry little bud youve got that forever now

scary: i want to give her stomach issues so badly but canonically she was lying avout her stomach hurting. :(. i think she's very sensitive to light and gets headaches alot so shes always squinting (rbf)

normal: migraines from doodler lineage that actually get better when dood takes form! whenever he has a headache she helps him out . despite being a cheerleader i think he has bad lungs and loses his breath very quickly

taylor: similar 2 nick he runs fevers a lot ! brain fog too

hermie: the worst joint pain uve ever seen in a 15 (2) year old . refuses to use mobility aids unless its for a role

other questions here

#asks #ask game #dndads #the reason that darryl has crohns is bc i have crohns. and most people only think of IBS in regards 2 that stuff #some of these r very vague or very specific and nowhere in between . whoopsiedoodles #kinda started losing spoons for this halfway thru sorryyyy. might come back to this and elaborate on some more but idk #just doing original hermie n not hermie 2.0 bc he was not in canon for very long LOL #ty anon this was fun

[jerzwriter]

List of Your Ten Childhood Ships

Thanks @thefirstcourtesan for tagging me. I'm so showing my age here, lol I'm going to count "childhood" right up through the end of high school for these purposes. God, I'm straining my brain. lol What's sad is, outside of Jodie Dallas on Soap, I cannot even recall a queer character, much less pairing, from my childhood. How sad is that? So this list is def hetero as it comes.

This is in no order - not really...

Princess Leia and Han Solo - Star Wars: OK, this was THE couple of my childhood. I was OBSESSED and still am. There was NO better movie than The Empire Strikes Back. The "I love you." "I know." sequence. Goddamn, I've always had a type; it goes back to childhood. I'm ashamed (not really).

Lando Calrissian & Princess Leia - Star Wars: OK - this is bringing back memories - and this is fucking crazy - I did write fanfic as a kid, and it was a Han/Leia/Lando triangle (as good as a 5th grader can write...). God, I'd kill to have that notebook now, and OMG, what a predictor for DTI. 😂😂😂 Even as a tween, I knew that would have been some juicy triangle that never came to be. lol

Sandy & Danny - Grease: Some asides. I was WAY too young to be watching this when it was out (my Mom was insane). Most of it went over my head, and in retrospect, I am so anti-most messages in Grease - but that doesn't mean I don't still love it. I do. And OMG How I loved Sandy & Danny and danced around my living room pretending I was them. lol

Jessie & Angie - All My Children: I was a soap junkie, so I have a lot of soap ships - but this is one of my all-time favorites. A modern-day Romeo & Juliet, and the soap world's first true black super-couple. Angie's well-to-do family forbade a relationship with her obvious soulmate, Jesse. They eventually got together, but in true soap fashion, that didn't last. A death that wasn't really a death, among other things, impeded. But how I remember watching those summers and rushing home from school to check the VCR and pray it recorded. lol OLD SCHOOL!

Kevin & Winnie - The Wonder Years: This was the sweetest show and first love story. The ending was so poignant and probably led to my penchant for beautiful but heart-wrenching endings. I need to rewatch this sometime.

Maddie & David - Moonlighting: This one makes me sad, thinking of Bruce Willis's current condition. 😢 These two drove each other crazy, but the sexual tension radiated from the TV screen. They were the ultimate "will they???" couple, and even when they did, they still never really got it together, but that didn't mean I stopped rooting for them. Sadly, this show is just about completely not available on streaming/reruns due to musical copyright issues.

Nina Cortland & Cliff Warner - All My Children: Told you. I was a soap addict, and AMC will forever be my favorite show. I don't remember how old I was, but I remember that their wedding took place THE DAY that we went back to school, and my prepubescent little girlfriends and I LOST OUR SHIT. This wasn't the days of reruns, this wasn't the days of DVR, this wasn't even the days of Soap Central (y'all don't even know what that is). These were the days of "You missed it, bitch - so sad." And I was...I was...

Maria & Georg - The Sound of Music: OK - I loved musicals from a very young age, and I am forever obsessed with The Sound of Music. I had a mad crush on Georg as a young girl, proof that assholes with a heart underneath it all have ALWAYS been my thing. lol

Dwayne & Whitley - A Different World: It was not a pairing I liked the idea of - initially. Whitley was such a spoiled, obnoxious, rich princess at the start, and Dwayne didn't seem like he'd ever have a chance, but as time moved on, they made it work, and I tuned in each week, dying for them to finally get together.

John & Claire: The Breakfast Club - What can I say - I have a type? lol This was the iconic couple of my teen years, and if had been writing fanfic at that time, I would have had a treasure trove for them.

Tagging @jamespotterthefirst @liaromancewriter @lucy-268 @genevievemd @angelasscribbles @icecoffee90 @cariantha @doriopenheart @peonierose @potionsprefect @coffeeheartaddict2 @lilyoffandoms @storyofmychoices @annoyingmillenialnewbie @utterlyinevitable and anyone who wishes to jump in and play!

#childhood ships #yeah i'm old lol #there was like NO lgbtq+ representation during my youth #some of my most iconic couples were in the next decade #but I wasn't even remotely a kid then

[father-salmon]

WIP Ask Game

WIP tag game!

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

tagged by @honestlydarkprincess & @songliili (thank you, loves)

i'm writing for a couple fandoms rn but i'm one of those people who generally work on one wip at a time. the brain thoughts get jumbled then i get confused lmao

Supernatural

Jody/Donna Murder Wives

Beta Charlie (Omegaverse)

Princess Bride Destiel AU

Castiel & Hozier

Twilight/Van Helsing Destiel AU

9-1-1

Buddie Mafia AU

5+1 Buddie Idiocy

tag list (absolutely no pressure and let me know if you don't wanna be tagged) @underwater-ninja-13 @giddyupbuck @snarkythewoecrow @dicklessthewonderclown @bleuzombie @malicmalic @cactusdragon517 @deancodedcastielenby @zeppelinmixtape

#destiel #buddie 911 #destiel fic #buddie fic #911 #supernatural #salmon writes fics

[daechwitatamic]

Jo, feel free to save and answer this ask whenever you have the time, but I love your writing style so much and I'm curious to know what your favorite books are? I used to be such an avid reader as a kid, but I find it so hard as an adult to find books that really hook me. It's like I need something more enjoyable than Faulkner but not anywhere near as formulaic as Nicholas Sparks, but those are the type of books that fill up many recommendation lists!

I love a nice, long novel that follows a character and their development over timen (can you tell why I like your work?). Some of my favorites are East of Eden, Vanity Fair, and I Know This Much Is True.

What have you read that you couldn't put down?

🌴

ohhhhhhh what a question. This is gonna need a read more.

I will admit to being a huge fan of young adult lit, despite being 33. A group of my friends and I go to YALLFest every fall to shout at our favorite authors. Some of my favorites from this category are Taherah Mafi (specifically her stand-alones "An Emotion of Great Delight" and "A Very Large Expanse of Sea"), Libba Bray (The Diviner's Series!!!! The Gemma Doyle Trilogy!!!!), Leigh Bardugo (specifically the Six of Crows duology and the Ninth House series), Sarah Dessen (though I'll admit this is mostly out of loyalty and nostalgia at this point and I think if I read her books fresh as an adult i would not love them like i did growing up), Marissa Meyer (The Lunar Chronicles!!!!!!!!!! but another that idk if i would love if i read them NOW instead of at 20), and E. Lockheart (WE WERE LIARS!!!!!).

As far as fiction meant for real adults lol I haven't been a fan of any of her books since the early 2010s but Jodi Picoult was really formative when I was a teenager and is honestly the reason I went for a writing degree. I thought I'd be her when I grew up (haaaa). I really liked Sara Gruen (EXCEPT for the one about monkeys WHO LET HER WRITE THAT), Tara Conklin, Kevin Brockmeier, Margaret Atwood (i once tripled the page assignment for a paper on Handmaid's Tale about a decade before it was a show and got a B for going over the page limit >:( true story). I am a HUGE HUGE HUGE fan of Brunonia Barry - can't recommend The Lace Reader or The Map of True Places enough!

Ok, for my ults - in the YA category it's Maggie Stiefvater (Raven King series, again - not sure how this will read as an adult person but I read them first in my early 20s and I was DEEPLY attached and she's one of the smartest, most wonderful people and I've met her several times and gone to her writing seminars and she's just..... a god tier human and great writer).

For adult fiction ult... N.K. Jemisen. I named the Professor in MFFMHH after her!!!! Nora is like........ literally a genius in our generation. Her trilogy The Broken Earth Trilogy fucked up my brain so bad I'll never recover (and it's also the key inspo for This is a Love Song, my WIP! It's technically a crossover of parts of the world from this series, plus bangtan lmao). It's a GUTTING analogy of colonization, racism, slavery, oppression... hidden behind an almost sci-fi/apocalyptic backdrop. It is SERIOUSLY so so so so so so so good but it will break your brain and fuck you up.

let me know if you end up reading any of these!!!! i love to talk about books!!!!

<3 <3 <3 <3 i hope you're having a good week!!!!

#🌴 anon #did i drop everything i was doing to go peruse my bookshelf #yes i did lol

[supersapphical]

sooo i'm not sure who first posted about claire x patience but honestly it's been rattling around in my mind ever since so a lil drabble about them would be amazing!! <3

YESSSSS Claire x Patience, let's do it!

This is a liiiiiiitle bit longer than a lil drabble because apparently I have no self control when it comes to rarepairs but please enjoy established relationship Claire/Patience on a hunt (also Missouri is alive and well).

Read on AO3 or under the cut.

“You ready for this?” Claire asks.

Claire’s hand grips Patience’s hand tightly as Patience nods resolutely. Claire’s other hand carries a duffle bag full of supplies.

“Okay, let’s do it.”

Claire leads her in through the backdoor of the house, which had clearly been broken into before. Patience raises an eyebrow.

“What? It’s an abandoned, haunted house,” Claire shrugs. “Who's gonna care if I break a few locks?”

The air inside the house is noticeably chillier than outside but, other than that, it seems like any other building that’s fallen into disuse. Dust covering the surfaces, a bit of a stuffy smell, nothing that overtly indicates a haunting. And yet, as soon as Patience steps inside, she can sense the spirit’s presence. It’s nothing she can feel, hear, smell, taste or touch. It’s simply sure knowledge that invades her brain, sending shivers down her spine for no good reason.

Claire must notice the change in her demeanor because she asks, “Your extra senses already picking something up?”

“Yeah, you’re right, there’s definitely a ghost in here,” Patience says.

“You ready to get to work?”

Patience nods. Claire gives a final squeeze to her hand before letting go so she can get to work setting up a salt circle around Patience.

“Most ghosts don’t tend to be active during the day but just in case,” she says as she dumps salt around her.

“What do you want me to look for, specifically?” Patience asks.

“Anything you can pick up on that might help me see what’s keeping the ghost here.”

“You already torched the remains?”

“Cremated,” Claire grunts as she heaves the last of the salt onto the floor.

“All set?” Patience asks.

Claire pulls two iron crow bars from her bag and hands one to Patience, “As set as we can be.”

Patience takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. She grips the crow bar more as a grounding technique than with any real intention of actually using it. She knew some basic self defense even before taking up the life of a hunter and she’s been taking more in depth hand-to-hand combat lessons with Jody but a deep psychic reading will require all of her focus.

“You should come spar with me sometime, I’ll show you how to actually use that thing,” Claire teases her lightly, indicating the completely unthreatening grip Patience has on the crow bar.

“Quiet,” Patience hushes her but it does give her some encouragement to realize she knew exactly how Claire was gesturing without even opening her eyes. She’s really starting to get good at projecting her consciousness outward.

Or perhaps she’s just gotten too familiar with Claire’s body language.

Patience shakes the very distracting thought of Claire’s body out of her head and tries to center herself again.

“It could be useful, you know, practicing some fighting techniques,” Claire continues.

“You really want me to come beat you again?”

“That wasn’t a fair fight! You cheated,” Claire huffs.

“Anticipating your movements and reacting to them is just what fighting is,” Patiences says calmly, her eyes still closed and breathing even. “That’s not cheating.”

“It is when you’re psychic,” Claire rolls her eyes.

“Do you want me to focus or not? Reading the energy in this room is taking longer than it usually does.”

“Maybe you just have to have some patience,” Claire smirks.

Patience groans, “Your dad jokes are getting worse than Dean’s.”

She says it mostly to shut Claire up and it works because Claire stands there with her mouth gaping open, clearly taken aback.

“You love my dad jokes,” Claire eventually mutters, her arms crossed and an offended look marring her face.

Patience tries to clear her mind again. She’s been honing her gift through lessons with her grandmother, Missouri, who assures her she’s been getting better but focusing her powers still takes her a tremendous amount of energy and concentration. She wishes all visions could come to her as easily as the unprompted ones do. She frequently wonders if she’ll ever be able to access her powers with complete ease, the way her grandma seems to do. Her grandmother tells her (without her ever saying her fears out loud) that it will come with time and practice. Until then, she guesses she just has to struggle through.

With another deep inhale and a slow exhale, she sends her consciousness outward, into the house. Tapping into the house’s strange energy, she follows along in her mind to every corner and cranny, searching out to see if any object in the house has sentimental meaning attached. Sentimental objects always have a different aura.

She startles a little as she bumps up against a strange energy she’s not familiar with. It’s something dark and dangerous. This must be the ghost. It’s strange, to try to connect with the energies of a house and suddenly be connected to a sentient spirit but she supposes it must work differently with dead people. When she connects with the energy of a space, she is feeling out the memories of all that has happened there. What is a ghost but a memory that can speak for itself?

She tries to unobtrusively follow the spirit’s energy, searching for its source in the house. Her consciousness moves through room after room, trying to feel out where this specific energy is strongest.

She’s feeling out a long forgotten upstairs bedroom when suddenly she’s hit with a powerful wave of desperation. Being in this room is torture, being in this room is suffocating her, being in this room is killing her. She tries to quickly retract herself from the room but she can’t, she’s stuck there and she’s being filled with feelings of despair and grief and pain that don’t belong to her.

In the room where her body stands, the atmosphere is changing. The temperature is dropping and a strange wind that seems to come from nowhere is picking up.

“Patience?” Claire asks, lifting up her crowbar so it's ready to swing.

Patience can’t answer. Her voice has been stolen from her. She can’t even nod to let Claire know she’s alright. She can see her own body in the salt circle that Claire had made for her, but everything she is is trapped in the upstairs bedroom.

A shaky apparition appears and Claire swings through it, banishing it but only for a moment before it rematerializes on the other side of the circle. Claire lunges for it, swinging, and banishes it again only for it to appear on the other side of the room.

The room downstairs becomes more and more hostile as Patience tries to escape the bedroom and bring herself back to her own body. Small debris starts circling in the wind as Claire works to keep banishing the apparition every time it appears.

“Patience! Are you alright?”

If Patience had the ability to speak, she’d only scream.

Claire is desperately fending off every attack with her crowbar as the wind picks up, howling louder and louder. Patience knows that Claire is in trouble, she’s a fighter but even she can’t fight off something undead forever. She can hear Claire struggling, fighting as hard as she can to keep up with something that doesn’t even have a living body to tire out. Logically, she knows she needs to move, to help but she’s so outside of her own body, she feels only distantly aware of the danger they both face at this moment.

“PATIENCE!”

Patience hears Claire’s frantic shouting over the sound of the roaring wind but she can’t respond. She can see in her mind’s eye that the wind is wearing away at the careful salt line keeping her safe but she’s too overwhelmed by misery and heartache to move.

Claire is wildly swinging her crowbar at any apparition that appears and Patience is no longer trying to hear she is overcome with the need to be heard. The feeling is strange, it’s such a powerful need that it fills her up until she might burst but it doesn’t feel like a part of her.

She thinks back to the breathing techniques her grandma taught her and tries to bring herself back to her physical body. It’s only doing this that she realizes that this urgent need she is feeling isn’t her own emotion, it’s the ghost’s emotions.

Tears are streaming down her face now as she finally has enough control over herself to quietly whisper to the howling wind, “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

She projects these feelings towards the being she can sense in the house, she tries to send them all of her compassion while repeating over and over again, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

She closes her eyes tight and focuses all her empathy towards the tormented spirit. The wind starts to die down, bits and chunks of debris clattering back down to the floor. The air is less chilly now, the energy less hostile. The only sound now is Claire panting for breath, still clutching her crowbar.

“I should bring you on all the ghost hunts,” Claire says breathlessly, eyes continuing to search the room for any hidden threat.

Her eyes wide open now that she’s back in her body, tears are streaming silently down her face and she can’t bring herself to answer. Claire looks over at her in the silence.

“Hey, hey,” Claire says, walking up to her. “It’s okay, we’re both okay.”

Patience gasps in deep as if it's the first breath she’s taken since she connected with the spirit. She’s trying to remember her grandma’s rules. Ground yourself, keep yourself breathing, keep yourself calm, keep yourself aware.

Claire reaches up and gently cradles Patience’s face in her hands, “Patience, are you okay?”

Patience manages to nod this time.

“Good,” Claire says softly, wiping some of Patience’s tears away with her thumbs. “Are you coming back to me?”

Patience is still unable to answer, her own heart several armies worth of battling emotions.

Claire lets her forehead fall against Patience’s. Claire takes deep, slow, deliberate breaths, her hands still tenderly cradling Patience’s face and shuffles closer until the toes of their shoes touch. Patience closes her eyes again but this time, instead of spreading her awareness out further, she narrows it to only the points where Claire is touching her. The warm place where their foreheads rest together, Claire’s hands around her face, Claire’s work boots pressed up against her own soft sneakers.

She follows Claire’s breath, matching her own breathing with it until she feels like she’s entirely back in her own body again.

“What happened here?” Patience breathes out but then almost immediately says, “No, never mind. Don’t tell me. There’s a—”

She steps abruptly away from Claire and Claire’s hands fall down to her sides, looking almost dejected in the way they hang. Patiences looks around the room helplessly, unable to believe that when she first walked in here, it had looked so ordinary to her. Now she sees it for what it really is: a prison.

Patience takes a deep breath and then says, “There’s a loose floorboard upstairs.”

“Something hidden in there?” Claire asks, still eyeing Patience carefully but willing to take the cue that Patience just wants to keep working. “Well, let’s go check it out.”

Claire takes the duffle and easily walks upstairs and to the bedroom. Patience has a much harder time forcing her physical self to cross the threshold of the bedroom but she follows Claire anyway, knowing that there will be no relief for the spirit she felt if they don’t find a way to release it.

Claire gestures to the room and Patience points to the floorboard she knows holds secrets.

“Huh, actually get to use this thing as a crowbar,” Claire says happily, prying up the floorboard with the crowbar.

Patience drops to her knees, reaching into the hole to find that the floorboard holds dozens of letters, yellowed with age.

“What happened here?” Patience asks again.

“Are you sure you really want to know?”

Patience nods.

“Daughter of a family that lived here in the early sixties, she committed suicide.”

Patience takes this information in. It feels right but also…not.

“The story goes that she went insane so the family had to keep her locked up,” Claire continues. “They kept her locked in this room so she wouldn’t hurt anyone else.”

“No, that’s not right,” Patience says and she’s not even sure where the words come from, only that she’s sure they’re true.

“That’s what all the neighbors said,” Claire says. “But most of it was just rumors, I think.”

“She loved someone and her parents didn’t approve,” Patience says, her fingers lightly tracing the letters. “They locked her away so she couldn’t run away with him. These are the only things she had with her, to give her hope.”

A breeze stirs in the room and Claire is on high alert again, tightly gripping her crowbar but Patience doesn’t feel any threat in the spirit’s action, only affirmation.

“We don’t have to burn all of them, do we?” Patience asks.

Claire’s silence speaks volumes. Patience gathers the letter to herself, holding them close, her thumbs running gently along the worn in folds.

Holding the letters tenderly, Patience quietly says to them, “You must have loved him so much. It’s not fair that you have to stay here.”

Claire bows her head, hands clasped together in front of her so tightly that Patience can see bright red splotches contrasting with too pale points where the blood hasn’t been allowed to flow to her fingers properly.

“I’m so sorry this happened to you. It isn’t right and it isn’t fair. It’s also not right for you to be trapped here even after death, so it’s time to say goodbye now,” Patience says to the letters and the house and anyone else who may be listening.

Placing them carefully on the floor, Patience looks up to Claire expectantly. Claire reaches into the duffle bag by her feet and digs out the salt and matches.

“Do you want to…?” Claire asks, offering her the materials.

“I’ll do the salt,” Patience says. She takes it from Claire and carefully spreads grains of salt on to each letter, making sure the salt passes over all the folds and creases, before gently setting them down on the floor again.

“Ready?” Claire asks.

“Ready,” Patience says quietly.

Claire strikes a match and it sounds startlingly loud in the quiet of the room. The flame burns bright and illuminates Claire’s fair face in an almost ethereal glow as she bends down to let the fire catch on the letters.

They watch in silence as the letters are reduced to ashes.

“Come on, let's get out of here,” Claire says, offering Patience her hand. Patience grabs Claire’s hand and uses it to sling Claire’s arm around herself, nestling close to Claire and snaking her own arm around Claire’s waist. It’s a little awkward, Claire a little unbalanced because of the heavy duffle in her other hand but Patience needs the reassurance, the warm body pressed to her side as confirmation that Claire is still right here with her, very much alive and reachable.

“You’re getting really good at that stuff,” Claire says.

“Yeah,” Patience says, fiddling a little with the zipper on Claire’s jacket because it’s the only thing within her reach to fiddle with.

They walk back to the car in silence, still glued to each other. Patience dreads the moment when they’ll have to separate to get into the car, even if it will be the briefest of moments before they can touch each other again.

Claire throws the duffle in the trunk while still attached to Patience but then they walk to their separate sides of the car, Claire to the driver’s seat and Patience to the passenger’s seat. After they’re settled, Patience reaches out a hand and Claire’s is there to meet her. There’s a heaviness hanging over the car as they both sit silent and still.

“Do you regret coming out here, doing all this with us?” Claire asks her suddenly.

She says the word us but Patience hears what she’s really asking. Do you regret being with me?

“No,” Patience says firmly. “It’s hard sometimes. A lot of the time, but there’s no place I’d rather be.”

Claire smiles at her and starts the car.

“Me, either,” Claire says and she throws the car into drive and points it towards home.

#clairepatience #sapphicnatural #super stuff #sorry this took so long to answer but thank you so much for sending in a prompt!! #i had a lot of fun writing this one and i hope you enjoy it!

[svucarisiaddict]

“I’m coming closer, and I’m going to put my hand on your shoulder, alright?” With Sonny 😊

Part 9: Evil at home

//I've had this ask FOREVER and I've been working on it even longer. LOL Anyway, it's long. Enjoy.//

Peter glared at Sonny from across the large conference table that was in his office. He knew being here made Sonny uncomfortable which gave him feel a fraction better. “So, the last time you talked to her was when?”

“This morning. She wanted to go shopping. I told her I would go with her but she didn’t wait,” Sonny answered. “And when was the last time you talked to her, huh?” 

“Are you two finished?" Nick asked. "I can't believe this is what you're putting your energy into when the person you both love most has been abducted," Nick admonished both men.

"You're right," Peter agreed. 

"Of course. Sorry," Sonny apologized. "So, between the two of us we have a lot of enemies," Sonny concluded. “Could someone have done this for ransom?”

“I think we would have heard by now if that was the case,” Declan offered.

"Any mutual enemies, business partners, anything tying the families together?" Brian asked.

"Just one; the Drakes," Mike confirmed. He looked around the table gauging reactions. 

"We haven't dealt with them since before Ben passed away," Olivia said.

"Yeah, it's been at least five years since we worked with them," Teresa said.

"Was she supposed to meet up with anyone? A friend? Co-worker?" Fin asked.

"I called her best friend, Jody. She said Y/N texted her yesterday and asked her to lunch but Jody had to work," Peter said. 

"And she isn't close with anyone at work," Mike replied, looking at Peter. The two men exchanged glances, both knowing what Mike had done to the coworker that was harassing you.

Sonny clocked the exchange between Peter and Mike. He furrowed his brow. "I can call a friend of mine and get street and traffic cam footage," Sonny offered.

“What about your old man?” Mike asked. “Would he have anything to do with it?”

Sonny narrowed his eyes at Mike. “No. He actually likes Y/N,” Sonny replied, emphasizing your name. There was something about the way Mike was acting that Sonny didn’t like. He’d speak to Peter about it later.

“Okay. Let’s get that footage, make some calls, and canvas the area again. We’ll meet back here in two hours,” Peter instructed.

“Hey, Peter. Can I speak with you in private?” Sonny quietly asked Peter.

Peter nodded. Once everyone was out of the office Peter said, “What do you want to talk about?”

Sonny stood and started pacing. “How well do you know Mike?”

Peter furrowed his brow. “Pretty well. He’s been on our security team for seven years. He dated Y/N.”

Sonny pursed his lips. “I know Y/N broke things off but she never said why. Were there any signs that Mike was jealous or-or not wanted to let her go?”

“I know where you’re going with this. He would never hurt, Y/N. He cares about her too much,” Peter stated. “Why are you asking so many questions about Mike?”

“There was something about his demeanor today. I don’t know. Just doesn’t sit right with me,” Sonny said. 

Peter regarded Sonny. He thought about how Mike had been acting lately. He did seem to be missing a lot and preoccupied. “We’ll follow him. See where he goes.”

“Okay, good good,” Sonny sniffed. “And uh, Peter. When we find who did this, I’m going to kill them with my bare hands.”

Peter nodded. “You’ll have to get in line behind me.” Peter put his hand out to shake Sonny’s.

Sonny accepted and gave him a firm handshake.

Several hours later you woke up to a darkening sky and the house Mike brought you to was quiet. When you sat up your head seemed heavy, your brain felt foggy and your vision was blurry. You didn’t even remember lying down. The last thing you remembered was talking to Mike. It took a few minutes but you thought you felt steady and your vision was better. 

Shaking your head, you pushed up from the sofa. When you tried to walk your gait was a little unsteady but the door was just steps away. 

“Shit,” you murmured when you tried to open it. The door had a lock that needed a key to get out. Back door. There was a back door to the fenced-in yard. Geez, your head was pounding, making you feel unsteady and your vision tunnel. You squinted your eyes and concentrated on the door. Almost there. Just a few more steps.

“Where do you think you’re going, missy,” Officer Mack’s gravelly voice said, grabbing you from behind.

“Stop,” you mumbled, making a feeble attempt at pushing his hands off you. Your arms felt heavy and weak. “Mike would be very disappointed to know you were trying to leave,” he said. His breath was hot and smelled like old cigar smoke. 

He dragged you back to the living room and tossed you onto the sofa. 

“Mike,” you rasped. 

“Oh, he won’t be back for a while. He’s out helping to look for you right now,” Mack chuckled. 

You cleared your throat. “My brother, my-my boyfriend they’re gonna find me. When they get ahold of you-” you threatened, getting your voice back.

“Honey I ain’t scared of no brother or boyfriend,” Mack responded. He leered down at you. “Why don’t we have a little fun?”

“No!” you kicked hard at Mack and made contact with his groin. When he went to his knees you took your chance and sprang from the sofa. 

“You bitch!” Mack spat as he rolled around on the floor.

You were still unsteady but willed yourself to the backdoor. “Oh thank goodness,” you muttered when you found the door unlocked. Heavy footsteps from behind made you pick up your pace. 

“Get back here,” Mack snarled, grabbing your hair and pulling you backward. 

When he grabbed you it made you lose your balance and hit the floor. Mack was on top of you in an instant.

“I was going to make this nice, but after that little stunt it won’t be,” he said. He started pulling at your shirt.

“Stop it!” you screamed. Punching at him and pushing him away. In an instant, Mack’s weight was off of you. 

You sat up and scooted yourself back to rest against the wall. 

Mike shoved Mack. “What the hell are you doing?” Mike’s voice boomed.

“That bitch came on to me!” Mack accused.

Mike’s eyes darted to you then back to Mack. “Nothing worse than a liar,” he warned. Then his eyes turned cold. Just like the night, he came home with his clothes covered in blood. 

“Man, I’m not lyin’-” Mack started. 

Mike narrowed his eyes. “That’s two times.” He pulled a gun from the back of his waistband and pointed it at Mack.

Mack held his hands up. “Okay. Okay. It was me. I-” 

You covered your ears and squeezed your eyes closed when the gun went off but not before you saw Mack’s body hit the floor. Mike shoved the handgun into the holster at his hip.

“Oh my God,” you said, stunned by Mike’s actions. Mack’s head was half blown off. Gray matter, bone, and blood splattered the wall behind him. “I’m going to be sick.” You pushed past Mike to the restroom where you emptied the contents of your stomach. 

“Here,” Mike spoke softly. He placed a cold, wet washcloth on the nape of your neck. “I’m sorry you had to see that. I hate when you get upset.” 

It took everything in your body not to flinch when Mike rubbed his hand up and down your back. It was crazy to think that you craved his touch in the past, now it was revolting. You unrolled some toilet paper and wiped your mouth. What you wouldn’t give for a toothbrush right now but you’d have to settle for rinsing your mouth out with water. 

Mike studied you in the mirror. “You are so beautiful,” he breathed. His hand brushed your hair over your shoulder, exposing your neck. Mike leaned down and brushed his lips along your neck.

“Mike, please,” you stuttered. “Don’t.”

He kissed your neck as his arms encircled our waist. “C’mon, baby,” he husked.

Tears stung your eyes. Something in your brain clicked and you knew what you needed to do. With trembling hands, you reached around to Mike’s thighs. You turned in his arms. 

Mike gave you a salacious grin. His hands slipped from your waist to grasp your buttocks. “I’ve missed this ass,” Mike growled. 

It took everything you had not to recoil in disgust. “Oh, yeah?”

Mike leaned down and pressed his lips hard against yours. His arousal was evident. 

Slowly you trailed your hands down his sides. The metal of the gun was cold against your skin. “Can you get rid of that please?” you asked Mike gesturing toward the gun.

As far as Mike knew, you were terrified of guns. Peter made sure you knew how to shoot and do it well. 

“Of course, darling,” Mike responded with a smirk. After placing the Glock on the opposite end of the counter he returned to you. Mike picked you up, sat you on the counter, and then wrapped your legs around his waist.

You thought you were going to vomit again. Closing your eyes, you allowed Mike’s hands to roam your body, and his lips to kiss your skin. Somehow you had to get to the gun. With a swift movement of your leg, you kicked Mike right in the groin. He went down hard. Taking your chance you reached for the gun and grasped the cool metal in your hand.

“You fucking bitch!” he groaned as he rolled on the ground, clutching the family jewels.

As you moved to step over him, Mike grabbed your other ankle causing you to fall. Thankfully your grip stayed tight on the but of the gun.

“I’m going to kill you,” Mike grunted.

“I don’t think so, asshole,” you muttered. You turned and pointed the gun in Mike’s direction and pulled the trigger. The bullet hit his shoulder. Not enough to kill him but good enough to subdue him. Mike lay in a heap on the bathroom floor moaning.

The gun stayed in your trembling hand but our arm fell to your side. Your body was filled with adrenaline, fear, and anger. If he was able to get ahold of you he would undoubtedly make sure you never got away. Your heart was beating so loud in your chest that you couldn’t hear anything else. The only choice you saw was to kill Mike before he had a chance to come after you. Slowly, you raised the barrel of the gun at Mike and put your finger on the trigger. He would never hurt you or anyone you loved again.

When a voice behind you said your name you jumped.

“Turn up here,” Nick commented. He scanned the neighborhood. 

They were in the same area Y/N went missing. They found out that Mike had bought a house in the neighborhood. It was midway between Sonny and Peter's homes.

“Don’t need a backseat driver,” Fin said, shooting a look at Nick over his shades. 

Nick rolled his eyes and then checked the mirrors and saw the black SUV that Sonny and Peter were riding in together. He called Sonny’s cell to tell them to fall back. They were close to the house Mike bought.  “To be a fly on the wall in that car,” Nick commented. 

Fin grinned. “I can only imagine.”

Both men scanned the house numbers. The homes were all older but they had been updated recently, except one.

“There. That’s it,” Nick said pointing to a two-story house with chipping yellow paint. 

“I’ll pull around the block then-” Fin started. A gunshot rang out and Fin hit the brakes and shifted the car hard into park.

Both men scrambled from the car pulling their guns.

“Shots fired!” Nick said into the walkie-talkie. 

Several seconds later the SUV carrying Peter and Sonny screeched to a halt in front of the house. Peter took the gun from his hip and Sonny retrieved his gun from his shoulder holster.

Nick kicked the front door in and entered the house with fin. Peter and Sonny were right behind him. Each man took a different part of the house; Fin went upstairs, Nick to the kitchen, Sonny toward the bedrooms, and Peter took the other downstairs rooms.

Sonny heard movement in the next room. He slowly made his way down the hallway. As he got closer he recognized your voice. It was soft like you were talking to yourself. Sonny swallowed hard not knowing what he would find.

Sonny let out a breath when he saw you sitting on the floor of the bathroom pointing the gun at Mike. You were still talking to yourself like you were working something out in your head. Sonny moved slowly so he didn’t startle you. 

“Y/N,” Sonny said our name softly. He saw you jump at the sound of his voice. “I’m coming closer and I’m going to put my hand on your shoulder, alright?” His hand gently gripped your shoulder.

Slowly, you turned to look at Sonny. Until he touched you, you thought hearing his voice was all in your head. “Sonny,” you breathed his name. 

“Yeah, doll. It’s me,” he replied. “Here. Give me the gun,” Sonny instructed.

“I can’t. If-if he gets up he’ll…,” you mumbled shaking your head. 

Sonny gently directed the gun down. “Shhh… it’s okay. You’re okay.” He was able to take the gun from your hand and tucked it into the back of his jeans. 

Your eyes grew wide when you looked down and saw Mike. “Oh-oh my God. I-I shot him,” you gasped. 

“Hey, guys! In here!” Sonny called out to the others. “C’mere,” he said to you. 

When you didn’t move he picked you up and carried you out of the room.

#sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #peter stone #fin tutuola #nick amaro #franchise affair #series #my writing

[mlobsters]

supernatural s12e22 who we are (w. robert berens)

i don't usually read the summary on netlix (or elsewhere) but "undying trust" had my brain snap into focus in no time flat.

working with their torturer, whatever man. no worse of an offense than the whole bmol plotline 🤪

SAM I mean, I've read half a dozen purification rituals in the last hour. If we used one of those on – on our blood... DEAN Then what? Revirginize it?

was thinking too about that whole born again virgin episode (9x08) because of course they've done that before!

DEAN You know, it wasn't long ago, I thought we had it made. We saved the world. We got Cass back. We had Mom back. I mean, it wasn't perfect, but still, we had 'em. And now... SAM Now they're all gone. And Mom, what they did to her... I just fell for their company line. Man, I... I saw what they were doing, and I – and I thought, Hunters on that scale, working together... how much good we can do. And once I was in, I... I just followed. 'Cause it was easy. Easier. DEAN Easier than what? SAM Easier than leading.

the relief of letting someone else make some decisions is a big one, if you can do it. the idea of leading feels a little out of left field though since it's basically just him and dean on equal footing and occasionally working with other people? being independent contractors vs employees

SAM Is this how you pictured it? The end? DEAN Oh, you know it's not. I always thought we'd go out like... Butch and Sundance style. SAM Yeah. Blaze of glory.

never not gonna dwell on how dean actually goes out.

good for dean, finally gets to use his boom stick

and good for us, this exchange of looks. surprisingly cute and sweet

and tada look at that our heroes are safe at the last moment all wrapped up in ten minutes. on to next drama, stopping mary from killing jody and the rest of the hunters. old mom not allowed to kill new mom

JODY When she clocked me out of the blue, I thought she was a demon. I had no idea that brainwashing could be so thorough. DEAN Jody, she... I'm so sorry. JODY It's not your fault.

man, i really have come to love jody and her dynamic with them. within the story, bobby obviously played a bigger role for them as a parental figure, but for me kim rhodes is so good at connecting with them and playing up that kind of particular familial teasing/bickering/fondness - she makes me believe that she really is family to them. not just the, we like you, so we're adopting you thing they do with everyone they come across these later seasons.

❤️

samantha smith also doing a job at being creepy killer mary, so serene

TONI The Mary that you know, the good Mary, she's hiding behind impenetrable psychic walls. And I'm afraid these walls... Well, they can't be torn down with grenades. Your mother can't be saved.

if cas could pick out the hallucifer from sam's brain, surely he could fix mary's brain too. especially with a baby lucifer powerup, right. (oh no, come to edit, we're doing it with the power of love!)

WALT Well, damn. ROY We haven't seen you guys since – DEAN Since you killed us. No hard feelings.

awkward. in the flashback they just show them getting both shot in sequence, i'd forgotten they killed sam and then argued over leaving dean alive, decided against it and went ahead and killed him too. 5x16. me thinking is dean glancing at his chest remembering how he got shot 🥲

well sammy's getting a big, "he's a leader" speech

SAM Um, so my – my brother and I, we – we, um... No, you know what? I called you here because people... um, our people, are being slaughtered. And we're next. The British Men of Letters, they came here because they thought they could do our job better than we could. And they hooked us with their flashy gear and their tech. Most of you had the good sense to turn 'em down. I didn't. They said they wanted the same thing we wanted, you know? A world free of monsters. That's not what they really wanted. They want control. They want to live in a world where they can sit in some office and decide who gets to live and who gets to die. And they've killed people. They've killed innocent people just because they got in the way. They think the ends justify the means. But we know better. We know hunting isn't just about killing. It's about doing what's right, even when it's hard. So we go by our gut, right? We play by our own rules, and that scares them. That's why they want us dead, 'cause we're the one thing they can't control.

all right. at least the music wasn't too much. the words though? it's just too much.

SAM I want you to follow me. Take the fight to them. To hit them before they hit us. We go in fast and hard and we fight and we beat them down until they give up or until they're dead. Look, they're well-trained and well-armed. Some of us might not make it back. But we will win. We will take down the bad guys because that's what we do. They're scared of us. Yeah. Good. They should be.

by this second part, i started giggling. so out of nowhere and cliche

and today, we celebrate our independence day or perhaps but the waters receded

my brother in sweat, poor jared. jensen slackin on towel duty. wonder if he struggled with the scene or just that it's a long speech so more time to be sweating visibly

DEAN No, my leg busted up the way it is, I'm no good in a fight. SAM I-I'll take a jacked-up Dean Winchester over any 10 other Hunters any day.

aww, sammy

DEAN Yeah. I saw you. You're ready for this. You show those sons of bitches who's boss.

this separation is a little contrived but okay, not going to complain that we get a nice moment out of it. the very special episode where sam gets to slip into a leadership role and succeed and dean gets to be the proudest brother/partner

DEAN You got this. Come here. You come back. SAM Promise. DEAN Bitch. SAM Jerk.

well that you come back / promise is what made me cry. and wasn't in the copy of the script linked on the wiki (production draft). so thank you to to whoever brought that about

oh no they've deployed a sweet little chunk for sam now i'm really going to cry. also know a conversation that's coming since i've seen gifs of it many times

they made this bmol bed so maybe a big dumb shootout action sequence was the only way to lie in it but it sure is a lot less... compelling, compared to what dean's doing. course, every time we're in the old house with mary (2x20, 5x16) it's in an episode i sobbed my way through. so. that's doing some of the work for them here too

DEAN You lied to me. I was a kid. You promised you'd keep me safe. And then you make a deal with Azazel. Yeah, it saved Dad's life, but I'll tell you something else that happened. Because on November 2, 1983, old Yellow Eyes came waltzing in to Sammy's room, because of your deal. You left us. Alone. 'Cause Dad was just a shell. His perfect wife? Gone. Our perfect Mom, the perfect family... was gone. And I... I had to be... more than just a brother. I had to be a father and I had to be a mother, to keep him safe. And that wasn't fair. And I couldn't do it.

💔

DEAN And you wanna know what that was like? They killed the girl that he loved. He got possessed by Lucifer. They tortured him in Hell. And he lost his soul. His soul. All because of you. All of it was because of you.

(i know this isn't the point, he's just trying to get through to her, but my little hand mentally raises like this was all far beyond any of their control)

DEAN I hate you. I hate you. And I love you. 'Cause I can't – I can't help it. You're my Mom. And I understand...'cause I have made deals to save the ones I love more than once.

trying to think of when he's done it for someone besides sam.

DEAN I forgive you. I forgive you. For all of it. Everything. On the other side of this, we can start over, okay? You, me, Sam. We can get it right this time. But I need you to fight. Right now, I need you to fight. I need you – I need you to look at me, Mom. I need you to really look at me and see me. Mom, I need you to see me. Please.

jensen did good with this one. later seasons he seems to not quite get there as intense with the emotions all the time like he did in early seasons, but he definitely got there in this one. and that was a long speech too

glad we didn't need to face any more redemption arc with torturer lady, killed ignominiously offscreen (ok i had to look up the spelling/definition to doublecheck and realized in my head i had dropped an entire syllable AND listening to the pronunciation had it way wrong. good thing i've never tried to say that out loud lol at best i think i was thinking ig-NO-muss-ly instead of ig-no-MIN-ee-uss-ly)

here at least is a throwdown that i can get behind, we've got many reasons to hate this dude and wanna see dean beat the shit out of him

get him, mary

huh. interesting they had jody kill evil bmol dr hess lady too

! elusive triple hug. sammy's having a real moment

SAM Mom. You don't have to be scared of me. (Sam walks over and hugs Mary. Dean walks over and places a hand on Sam's shoulder) DEAN Glad you're back, man.

no bonus winchester packed hug in this script either

well. that had a lot of good family hurt/comfort for me personally, and pretty light on the hurt. thank you, show. i will take it and jam it all in my pockets.

so are they gonna wrap up lucifer next episode, or is that setting the stage for next season? i have very little idea of what happens in these late-late seasons. vaguely, that a kline descendant is involved. not much more than that

(yikes just scrolled to the top of this post, this is very long)

#supernatural #spnwatch #sam and dean mush #spn script #spn 12x22 #robert berens

[queenofthecon]

Darling! I'm curious to know if you've ever considered writing a post-Doomsday reunion fic with Nine and Ten working together to get Rose back? I just read "the other one" and the line:

“Yes. We need to do this carefully. And slowly, pick the dimensions apart from one another while she heals herself. What was that signal about anyway, I don’t remember doing that?”

made the idea stick to my head like glue the instant I read it.

Really really hope this doesn't come across as pushy or me giving unasked for prompts lol mostly just me trying to pick your brain wondering what your thought process is for picking what to write since there's so much variety in your fics (if you'd like to share of course!)

And since I'm in your ask box wondering what your all time favorite Nine episode is? :)

Ok last question haha...how much have you watched past Ten's run? I don't think I've ever seen you post much about Chibnall and Moffat era's before.

MY DARLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The past couple days reading all your reviews have made me cry and laugh and gave me the BEST MORNINGS EVER. I can’t tell you how awesome you are for being so bloody diligent, it makes me feel like I can touch clouds.

I’m definitely not done with Nine and Ten together, but I’m not sure about a post-Doomsday fix it... I can definitely see Nine and Ten talking it through, though. God what angst, you know I love some angst....

honestly, what makes me pick what to do first is if I get a scene idea in my head, or if I can hear the dialogue they’d say. whatever I can really visualise is the one I work full steam ahead for and sometimes that’s easier said than done.

my favourite episode (not just Nine - episode) is Dalek. It’s utterly perfect to me. Before they overused them and made them unscary. it was terrifying and heartbreaking and eccleston SMASHED it. what a fucking episode.

and I don’t like moffat, simple as. I basically dipped out when David/RTD left and have only seen a few episodes of each Doctor since. Matt Smith was good but reads as asexual to me, Capaldi was genius but the stories were meh, and Jodie didn’t have the gravitas I look for. She didn’t scare me, and the Doctor can be terrifying. 

tell me your favourite episode!

#asks #asks answered #lovely people being lovely #i forgot to say I love Jo Martin's fugitive doctor #what a waste of a twist so far

[fndawerness]

My name is Jodi and I have FND, a mysterious and scary disorder. I’ll never forget when neurologist said …”oh we know what this is. You have Functional Neurological Disorder”.

Oh.

See if you google Functional Neurological Disorder one of the first results is from the database of rare diseases. And that’s about all you’ll find. It’s not that it’s rare, rather that it’s under researched. It’s a neurological disorder with no solid cause (that’s being debated). My neurologist explained that my body is akin to a computer. Every once in a while it updates. But my nervous system doesn’t. So while my body may be running on Windows 11, my nervous system is still using dial-up. Hence why my head moves the way it does, or my legs don’t work right, or really any of the symptoms I have. So I left neurology happy that at least I had a diagnosis, thinking “well this is it and we shall carry on”.

When a loved one has FND, a disorder that neurologists won’t be able to give you a timeline on (it presents differently for everyone), the best thing you can be is creative. Family and friends couldn’t make it go away as much as they wanted to, but they could and did help make it easier. Finding ways to adapt my place to be more accessible before I was off the walker and cane. Ways to get me to be able to eat when I didn’t have the hand dexterity for utensils. What we learned is that any meal can be wrapped in a tortilla.

Eventually, I started my new adventure of physical therapy and balancing classes and what I learned was a truly inaccessible world.

In the fall of 2021, I was in a wheelchair then walker and cane. My legs just decided they were going to go on strike. For those reading this who have experienced FND, your body going on strike is a pretty accurate description.

If FND is anything (besides a pain in the behind), it is an adventure. There is no telling what will happen next. Which is terrifying, but I decided when I was diagnosed that I wouldn’t be upset about it. It was a waste of energy I simply didn’t have. FND has creeped into every facet of my life. I still tic frequently (including in the writing of this), but now it’s something that I laugh at. I always tell people who seem concerned two things: 1) It’s scary for you than it is me and 2) Oh don’t worry, my brain is just scrambled eggs at this point.

No one knows much about FND in the long run. In fact, when you walk into the neurology office athletic rather than in a wheelchair, they will tell you the same thing. “It may get better, it may get worse, we don’t know”. Keep on keeping on.

FND is scary, I won’t sugar coat it. Scary, but livable. So, what’s living with FND look like? It looks like adapting, realizing that who I was two years ago is different from who I am now, and while that may be bitter-sweet, it’s how it is. And it also looks like waiting for science to catch up. I would love answers, I would love to know why my brain is the way it is. I may know soon; I may never know. So for now I just take it day by day. I’m not going to end this by saying I’m grateful for FND. No, it completely de-railed and changed my life. I will however say it at least keeps things interesting and while I may shake like I have the band State of Mine playing in my head, at least I’m never bored.

—-

#fnd #fnd awareness

[dontjudgemeimawriter]

Carnotaurus

(I can no longer remember which ones I've already asked you but I don't think I've asked this one yet)

Carnotaurus - share a scene that contains some cool worldbuilding

I'm going to share a few small scenes that describe parts of how magic works

--

She swirled a lock of hair around her finger. “Melanie and my mom were friends, y’know, but… When she mentioned my mom dying, there was more sadness there than I ever sensed when she was talking about Jodi. It was like she didn’t care as much, wanted us to look for her but wasn’t invested in it.” Mika sighed. “Maybe she was just guarding her emotions and I didn't get a good read.”

She was dismissing it, but that sounded familiar. “They’re Chafs, right?” I asked.

Mika nodded and looked at me curiously. “Yeah, why? Does that mean something to you?”

“There’s a Chaf ability to cut connections,” I said. Most people thought of Chafs as dealing with communication, sending messages, enabling phones and radio, that kind of thing. People didn’t like to think about them getting a read on everything and everyone they were connected to, didn't think about what possibilities a Chaf had given access to their relationship connections. “It doesn’t make you forget about someone, but it can make you not care as much.”

--

He was no longer mad, or at least he wasn't yelling at me or telling me to leave now. Instead, he kept his hand on my arm, gently leading me to a bench a little out of the way. He sat down. “I’m sorry I forced you to unfocus,” he said. 

“How did you even do that?” I asked, sitting next to him. I’d been too upset to think about it, but I’d never known he could do that and now it scared me. 

He smiled slightly. “When you cast that spell you heighten the level of resources your brain has dedicated to a specific task. It’s heightening of a psychological phenomena. All I had to do was split up the resources.”

I thought that over. “I didn't know Nyps could do that,” I said, and somehow when he explained it it made so much sense. Like it was simple.

“I didn't know I could either. It was a theory. Until just now. But I shouldn’t’ve tried it. I wanted you to unfocus but I shouldn’t’ve forced it.”

--

He shrugged. “No one wants to know it came from me. No one even expects one person to be able to do such a variety anyway. But mostly I hate making [whispers].”

“Why?” I would have thought he loved to help people out with his magic, but maybe that’s not what was happening.

“It’s like going in blind. And because it’s freaking illegal we can’t do it right, y’know? Even if it’d be fine to tell people, no one wants a Nyp going into their mind, they’d much rather take a whisper because it doesn’t give access. But everyone’s different, everyone’s brain is different. I’ve seen these not work on some people, or even make things worse, and I hate it. If I could go in, if we could do research on these spells, I could find a way to actually help instead of giving this thing that works for some people.” He leaned on one arm. “And it’s worse because like, sometimes I’m selling it to someone, and like, I don’t need much to get in, y’know? I’m giving them a memory-whisper and I’m like, I can sense how your mind works and I know this won’t work for you, but I can’t say anything, and if people would be okay with it maybe I could actually help them. But maybe I’m not helping, because there’s no research on Nyp magic, and honestly, I have no freaking idea if there's side effects to anything, or if I could do more harm. I hate it.”

--

Focus isn’t the only spell I know. And while having it cast made other spells harder, I could give it a try. This was for Raymond, after all. If there was any chance it would save his life, I’d do it.

When I reach for it, I can sense the flow of any energy, including sound. Can feel them radiating out from their source, the dispersal as it gets blocked by walls and fades in the distance. Can feel it coming at my ear, too dispersed and jumbled to make out. And if I try hard enough, I can make it louder.

It’s not easy and there’s a balance to it: if I make it louder too close to the source, it’s painfully obvious to anyone else— that’s how a microphone works, and if your voice suddenly booms you’ll get suspicious. I can increase the volume when the sound hits my hear, but by that point, it’s too garbled to make out, especially when I have a brick wall or glass in the way. Anywhere between the two, and there might be an echo.

--

Of course this is just a few things different types of magic can do, but it's all cool, and my physical world-building isn't as explored in-story.

thanks for the ask!

From This

and if you wanna learn more about my magic system

#syndicate #dino ask game #ask game #syndicate excerpt #wip excerpt #excerpt #magic #magic system #syndicate magic system

[stillafanofsonic]

(feel free to do any variation of these) 4, 9, 19, 26, 32, 56, 89

4) what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

For fanfic or original stuff? I've had original ideas floating around in my brain for years that I just haven't gotten to yet or wasn't able to fully flesh out. And no, I don't. I just have so many ideas and not enough time/ energy to write them all out.

For fanfic, in the next chapter of On the Horizon, the boys are going to do something that I've wanted them to do for a year. They just couldn't do it yet because it had to be at the end of the summer.

9) in an ideal world where you’re already super successful and published, would you want to see a tv or movie adaptation of your work? why or why not?

Ohh... that's really a hard one. I want to say yes, but I've also seen how Hollywood completely missed the point of a book and makes a horribly adaption and that would be so hard for me to watch. I'd have to have some creative control to ensure they don't completely butcher my hard work.

19) what are some books or authors that influenced your style the most?

Jodi Picoult is a huge influence on me. I've been reading her novels since I was 13 and I can see how her style influences me. Also just the way she creates fully fleshed out realistic characters... love her so much. Go read her novels, they're so good.

26) do you like to write one-shots or series, and why?

Both, whatever the plot calls for. I just tell the story and see if it fits in a one-shot or a series.

32) do characters influence your writing style?

Sometimes? I'm working to try and make character's voices more distinct

56) five years from now, where do you see yourself as a writer?

Hopefully publishing original work.

89) sarcastic narrators: entertaining or overdone?

Becoming overdone. I've seen some that were charming and entertaining but when everyone starts doing it, it becomes old.

#asks #fern tag #thanks for the ask!

[partyinthemysterymachine]

Do you have music headcanons for silent hill protagonists?

I feel like Harry Mason likes 50’ -70’ songs, specially jazz and blues (maybe he likes Sinatra idk) while James likes Reddit sad man music, there’s no way this dude doesn’t like at least one Radiohead song.

I don’t have more headcanons </3

i'm actually straight up cackling, my hc are the OPPOSITE! (well, sorta.)

i've tagged James to like a lot of oldies with a cutoff of maybe around mid-80s? he can be a liiiiittle bit of a "new music is trash >:(" kind of person. Frank influenced his music tastes a lot, always had the oldies station on in the car, would turn it on at home, and well, all the vinyls at home, too.

For Reasons*, James has a particular fondness for Sherry Baby by Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons ( https://youtu.be/Uybtn6ebG0I ) (SORRY, THE NEW TUMBLR POST MECHANIC DOESN'T LET ME PROPERLY FUCKIN ADD LINKS TO TEXT DGLKDGFLKFGLKG), and is just a Four Seasons fan in general; as well as The Ink Spots, Billy Joel, Carole King, Linda Ronstadt, The Carpenters, The Beach Boys, Four Tops, Otis Redding, big band stuff, Marvin Gaye, Aretha Franklin, The Eagles (sorta), Frank Sinatra (to an extent, he liked The Rat Pack stuff better), Nat King Cole, The Beatles (it’s complicated), Bobby Darin, a smattering of other crooners and types of artists, etc etc…….

.. but he’s not much a fan of Barry White LOL. (sorry Mary :\ ) he really doesn’t like baritone or bass voices in general, though. he finds them eerie. (loser’s missing out tbh) tho i think too you're right about jazz! he's just..... kinda picky about what kind, i think. dude's pretty picky :\ i also think blues are a hit or miss with him. now, HARRY..

Harry is also an oldies appreciator, can appreciate the blues quite a bit, and his music tastes can goes way back and all OVER the place! he and James share a few favorite artists, but uh……. our boy Harry here likes to rock the fuck out!! LOL

Harry’s been a HUGE fan of Rancid since he started listening to them probably around 1995?? big fan of jam bands too, including Counting Crows (yeah) and CBDB! other artists he likes are Neil Diamond, Jonathan Coulton, The Grateful Dead, Meat Loaf, Brown Bird, Tom Rosenthal, Selena (it’s complicated……), Cyndi Lauper, Scorpions, Celine Dion (it’s complicated), Stealers Wheel, Seals and Crofts (it’s complicated), Jimi Hendrix, Jim Croce, Electric Light Orchestra, 16 Horsepower, Dio, Motley Crue, Motorhead, Fleetwood Mac, Cher, Sonny & Cher..

.. among others! he likes some Motown (and honestly, James does too!! Motown fucks) and a few Spanish artists, like Gloria Estefan, Celia Cruz, Mercedes Sosa, Antonio Aguilar.. aaaand some others he can’t name. (thanks, Jodi and family!)

quite a few artists are Complicated Relationships for various reasons (such as Jodi..) and others, eh.. Life Experiences.

Harry IS a car-jammer and lip sync-er. catch that fuckin weirdo drumming the steering wheel and air guitaring. catch Heather trying to jimmy the child lock on the door and leap out into traffic

Harry actually really loves karaoke as well! .. watching more than singing. you’d have to get him a liiiiiittle blitzed to encourage him to get up there. there’s a 70/30 chance he’d just want to sing something completely stupid tho, like Re: Your Brains by Jonathan Coulton. ( https://youtu.be/IIlITc1nkk8 ) his singing voice/style is awfully fucking cute of him; i sure will say that….. (because idiot writing brain might not like me giving some fine details away to the general public yet.. 

.. and if you know, then you know, and SSSHHHHHHH.)

it has to be said, tho: for as extroverted as this man is, and how much everyone - as well as he - jokes that he should’ve been an actor, he the MASSIVE amounts of stage fright can really hold a person back….. and besides. it would’ve disrupted the timeline; he’d’ve just been so good, he’d’ve put Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise; hell, even Georgie Clooney! out of work.. ssssssoooooooo he was just being courteous. that’s all. .. yeah.

JAMES and karaoke, tho….. heahsdfhehrhghdgh IT’S COMPLICATED DON’T FUCKING LOOK AT HIM [drives into a large body of water]

i think he had a wee little fantasy about being in a barbershop quartet :| that’s what growing up on oldies/big bands/crooners will do to a person. it’s unknown if he can sing, or much less understand how to keep a beat. it wasn’t anything big enough to actually want to pursue, per say.. just one of those types of little daydreams :)

i’m actually working on playlists for them!! they’re intended to be their “mixtapes” - what you’d typically find them listening to in the car. i’d actually kind of forgotten about them until this ask……….. ahah oops…. well shit i’ll just have to get back to it huh??

thank you so much for the ask!!!! :)!!! that was such a sweet little morning surprise, bless, hope u have a good one and stay healthy and safe!! xoxo 💖🙏🥚🥚💖🥚💖🥚

*GOOMT

#ches writes #harry mason #james sunderland #WHEE THANK U THAT WAS FUN CHEEEERS oh shit i need to get drawing it's gonna be HOT today and my POOR TABLET--

[motownfiction]

pomp and circumstance

Graduation at St. Catherine’s looks just like it did when Roy turned his tassel in ‘66. Boys still wear blue gowns, and girls are still forced to wear white. As he weaves his way through the crowd with Maggie and Mike, he hears Lucy complaining loudly to Sadie about the ridiculous double standard.

“Some of us have children, you know,” Lucy says. “We see through their metaphor, and it doesn’t apply.”

“It applies to some of us,” Sadie says.

Roy moves along, pretending like he didn’t hear that. It’s not his to hear. He catches a glimpse of Maggie’s expression, and she’s a little too proud.

“That’s my girl,” she says.

Of course. Roy should have known. Everything is Maggie’s to hear. It’s been that way since before he was ever born. He remembers when they were little, and she’d walk up to the adult table at family dinners and try to recall as much of the adult conversation as she possibly could. It always came out sounding broken, but Roy only recognized that in retrospect. Back then, everything sounded like a gossip rag. Back then, Maggie was a hero.

“You know, Mags, maybe you should have worked for one of those entertainment magazines,” Roy says.

Maggie chuckles.

“Where did that come from?” she asks.

Roy can’t help but blush a little bit. Sometimes, he forgets that his brain works faster than his speech. He shrugs and says, “Ah, just thinking about careers we could have been good at. You would have been good at writing about celebrities.”

Maggie nods.

“Not sure whether that’s a compliment,” she says, “but I’ll take it.”

They make their way to their seats, but before any of them can sit down, Charlie turns to his mother with a question in his eyes.

“Mom, do you think I could sit in the row in front of you guys?” he asks.

“I don’t know, hon,” Maggie says. “Don’t you want to sit with us? Sadie and Sam’s graduation is kind of a family affair.”

“Yeah, kid,” Mike says, “don’t wanna go the way of Buffy and Jody.”

Charlie stares at him blankly. Roy shakes his head. This is what happens when you don’t let your kid watch television until all his homework is done (or all his concertos are memorized, whichever his mother thinks is more important that day).

“I know,” he says, “but Carrie’s coming, and I know you don’t always like her to sit …”

“That’s fine,” Maggie says. “Why is Carrie coming?”

“She wants to, I guess.”

Maggie doesn’t say anything about that. Roy stands back and folds his arms across his chest. He’s been at his sister’s place for almost a full day now, and he’s heard all manner of things about Sam’s girlfriend. Her name is Steph, she’s short, she’s blonde, she loves to paint, she’s going to Central in the fall, and she gets all the lyrics wrong to every song, even the ones she’s heard a million times. Hell, he even had dinner with Sadie’s boyfriend last night. But if you asked him last night whether or not Charlie had a girlfriend, Roy would have gotten the answer wrong. Completely wrong.

He’s not sure what that should reveal.

“Well, you can sit in a pew with her,” Maggie says. “But make sure it’s in front of us, so I can keep an eye on you.”

“You sure about that?” Mike asks.

“Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, he is six-five. Don’t you want to be able to see the kids graduate?”

Maggie thinks about that for a moment. She doesn’t say anything, so Mike ends up clapping Charlie on the shoulder.

“Sit behind us,” Mike says. “No big deal.”

Charlie nods and takes his seat behind the rest of the family. Roy tries to lock eyes with him on his way back, but it’s like he forgets that anyone else exists.

Maggie sits in the middle of Mike and Roy. Really, it’s the only place for her to sit, and Roy knows why.

“When are Mom and Dad getting here?” he asks.

Maggie shrugs.

“Probably three minutes before the band plays ‘Pomp and Circumstance,’” she says. “You know how they are. Never on time for anything.”

“You’re not still mad at them for walking in late to Anything Goes, are you?”

“No. But you’ll remember they weren’t late when you were Danny Zuko.”

Roy sighs. He tries to forget about his time in the school plays. It was a fun time. He likes to dance, likes the feeling of hot spotlights on his face, even likes putting thick pancake makeup on his face. But that was a long time ago. He became a writer so he could play all the parts, even the ones that didn’t look a thing like him. It’s hard to spend your life reciting words other people wrote. Roy never understood why Maggie wanted – hell, needed – to do it so badly. But maybe he gets it. The reason he joined the school’s theater troupe was so they’d have something in common again.

That, and he really did have an awful crush on Sherry Plinkett.

“It doesn’t feel like it should be time for Sadie and Sam to graduate,” Mike says. “I mean, I remember lining up outside the church like … well, like yesterday. Sorry about the clichés, Roy, man.”

“No need,” Roy says. “I’m coming around to clichés. Comfortable and all that.”

“I remember our graduation, too,” Maggie says to Mike. “You know, I thought you were going to propose to me that night.”

“Maggie!”

“What?”

“We were eighteen!”

“So? Lucy and Will are eighteen, and they’ve been married for two years.”

“To be clear,” Roy interjects, “you are comparing yourself to your kids’ two best friends who only got married because one of ‘em was pregnant? That’s something you’re doing in church?”

Maggie rolls her eyes.

“It’s not a real Mass,” she says, as though it makes any difference. “Anyway, I really did think Mike was going to propose. Honey, if you’ll remember, you were acting so jumpy that whole week beforehand.”

“Well, it’s not like I had no surprise planned for you,” Mike says. “Roy remembers.”

Roy nods. How could he forget? After graduation, they all got in the car and drove to New York City, just to be there, just for three days. Maggie, Mike, a couple of their friends they don’t know anymore, and Roy. Mike didn’t hesitate before inviting Roy, and Maggie – ever trying to look good in front of her new-ish boyfriend – went along with it. They heard some of the best music and ate some of the best pizza in those three days, but Maggie didn’t enjoy any of it. All because Roy was there. She didn’t say it, but he knew. By then, they didn’t have to speak.

By then, they didn’t want to.

“Well, if Daniel has a surprise road trip planned for Sadie, I hope he doesn’t invite Sam along,” Maggie says. “Wouldn’t be very romantic.”

Roy doesn’t mean to ask it.

“What if he invited Charlie?”

Maggie doesn’t answer.

Roy cranes his neck, looking around the church for anything else. Charlie’s still behind the rest of them, now with a shy-looking brunette. Carrie, Roy assumes. Whoever that might be. He looks around like he’s going to see someone he knows, but he’s pretty sure he won’t. Even when he was in high school, he didn’t know people from high school. Everyone in this room could recognize him, and he wouldn’t have a clue who they were. Roy wasn’t trying to be too good for St. Catherine’s. He didn’t even think he was. There’s just … something about people like him. They weren’t meant for high school. Graduation is sacred for people like that.

He remembers his graduation. Sherry Plinkett had broken up with him again, and he had a scholarship to Michigan burning a hole in his pocket. He wasn’t really going anywhere, but it felt like it. Not going back to St. Catherine’s … burning his school uniform … that felt like everything. Freedom and independence and control.

God, he hopes Sam feels that way, too.

He turns his head again. This time, he sees a couple people he really does know.

His parents are walking right toward them.

#drabble #writeblr #food #ch: roy brady #ch: maggie doyle #ch: mike doyle #ch: charlie doyle #ch: lucy callaghan #year: 1985