#just a rant bc i’m so fucking sad i could do something bad about it but im consciously not does that mean anything?

[placeinthisworld]

.

#bro i know it sounds silly but i feel so fucking stupid for still struggling w my mh the way that i do #like it’s so embarrassing i’m literally bullying myself in my brain to the point of wanting to relapse and for what reason? #my brain is just so fucked up? and the one therapist i was actually honest with dumped me bc i was too complicated??? #like i swear to goooood it’s just easier to *** but like how do you get over that feeling of just not being good enough or stable enough #or smart enough or nice enough #genuinely not sure if it’s the stress or anxiety or if i’m really just not good enough for this #i can’t tell if i’m being dramatic or if it’s my bpd making me upset or if how i feel is justified and i literally have nobody to tell me #just a rant bc i’m so fucking sad i could do something bad about it but im consciously not does that mean anything?

[thefemalejoker42069]

okay this is gonna be a bit of a long rant (with some SA and CSA mentions so pls don’t read if that will be too much for you rn) but I’ve been thinking a lot about the “male loneliness epidemic” lately and I have some Thoughts ™

we live in very isolating, depressing and scary times. we live in a hyper-individualistic capitalist hellscape that seems to punish people who need community support. and I truly believe that we as humans should try to help each other out in the ways that we are able to.

but I lose 100% of my empathy for lonely depressed men when they start using their own personal issues as an excuse to peddle ideologies that advocate for rape, pedophilia, child marriage, sexual slavery, and even murder of women and girls. I don’t fucking care how sad you are, if you advocate for other humans beings to be subjected to the cruelest treatment possible then you either need to get serious help or die (and not take anyone with you when you do).

you do not have a fucking paramount on suffering. you are not the only ones who experience loneliness. I know you think women get to just pick and choose whichever romantic partner/friends we want, but that is false, and also being seen as nothing but a sex object by men is so incredibly isolating too. that’s not real love and connection, that’s only being valued for what we can provide for men. so many people feel so alone and it genuinely is a big problem.

I was raised in an extremely misogynistic cult that preaches that grown men are not responsible for anything they do to little girls bc “they’re wired that way.” I had very bad things happen to me before I was even old enough to realize what it meant. and you know what the excuse always is? “well it happened to him when he was younger too so he can’t help that he does it to you.” I learned very early that male suffering is viewed as more important than the suffering they inflict on innocent people. and despite going through this, despite seeing nearly every woman in my life go through something similar, despite all of this, I still would never ever sympathize with any ideology that preaches rape, slavery, sex trafficking, pedophilia, white supremacy, etc. and that doesn’t make me some super hero, it makes me a mildly normal person.

so no, nobody “pushed” you into your evil ideologies, nobody made you do that. if true suffering at the hands of the opposite sex is really the root cause of inceldom then almost every single woman I know would be the most insane incel you’d ever meet in your entire life. but they’re not, even though many of them are lonely and long for true companionship, none of them feel so angry and entitled to it that they want to murder and rape men or little boys. not a single one. the root cause of inceldom is, and always has been, male entitlement. men who were raised to believe the world and every woman in it exists to serve them in some way, but then grew up and realized that actually nobody is owed sex and you don’t get to force women to marry you and have kids, because we are human beings who deserve to be happy too. and this makes them so mad that they start thinking it’s okay to do whatever they want to whoever they want, because after all, nobody on planet earth could ever suffer as much as incels do when a woman tells them no.

I’m fucking sick of it. stop saying “they pushed me to this” and start taking even an ounce of accountability for your deranged, entitled mindset.

#radblr #radical feminism #radical feminists please touch #radical feminist community #I cooked here tbh #male entitlement #male violence #tw csa mention

[stardustcatcher]

Pretty Boy

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x Reader

Word Count: 1.8K

Warnings: SMUT (18+ minors DNI), swearing, needy subby-ish josh, dry humping, praise, fluff, josh being a lil sad (bc that indeed needs a warning), biting? like once, a lot of pet names cause i'm a slut for that, uhh i don't think there's anything else but let me know if i missed anything.

AN: babby posts writing?!? it's a christmas miracle! this has been in my drafts for literally ever but i kinda revised it and decided why the fuck not. idk if i'm really happy with it but i wanted to get something posted and i'm deep in josh land so this is what happened. heavily inspired by the need i have for josh to be in my lap. it's not my best and it's short but i hope you all enjoy it anyway :)

this is also my first time writing in second person and it wasn't as hard as i thought so maybe all my fics will be like that from now on, but with my inconsistency, who knows  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

taglist

You were sitting on the couch, glass of wine in hand reading your favorite book for the umpteenth time when you heard the front door slam. The jingling of keys were heard as they were set on the little hook by the door and you peeked over to where your beautiful lover stood, toeing off his shoes with a heavy sigh. Josh looked absolutely drained, hair disheveled, cheeks flushed, and shoulders tight with an unknown tension. Nevertheless, the sight of him made you smile. He’d been so busy recently, putting the finishing touches on the band’s newest album, and it felt like he hadn’t been home in ages. 

Josh trudged over to where you sat on the couch, his lips pursed in a slight pout as he bent down to kiss your forehead, then your nose, and then planted a chaste peck on your lips. “Hey, mama,” he said with a smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes and it seemed forced. 

“Hi, baby. How was work?” you asked, handing him the glass of wine knowing that he could probably use it. He sighed with a roll of his eyes and took a gulp of the red in the glass. 

“Don’t wanna talk about work,” he shook his head, running a hand down his tired face. You nodded, knowing that wasn’t true. Josh always said he didn’t want to talk about what was bothering him, but in fifteen minutes or less, he’d be venting. 

“Okay, we don’t have to talk. But come sit with me, I miss you,” you shut your book, laying it on the coffee table before patting the space beside you. Josh flopped down on the cushion, sinking into the softness before you cuddled up to his side, head on his chest and arm thrown around his waist. His hand made its way into your hair, smoothing it over and pressing his fingers lightly into your scalp. His lips left a kiss on your temple as you listened to the song of his heartbeat, his body heat warming you up. 

“How was your day? Hope it was better than mine,” he whispered, lips on your forehead. 

“Boring without you,” you answered. “I put those shelves up in the bedroom, did the laundry, and cleaned up the kitchen. Just stuff that needed to get done,” you shrugged and felt his chest rumble with a small laugh. 

“What a pretty little homemaker you are,” he chuckled.

“Shut up,” you laughed along with him, shoving his side playfully. “I’m happy you're home.”

“I’m happy to be home,” he replied with a hum. “Today was just not my day. Sam was extra late today and cranky, we found out that one of the takes for a song we recorded was almost completely unusable, Jake was being an ass, I didn’t get to eat lunch, and just to top it all off, I got a fucking flat tire on the way home,” Josh ranted, face becoming redder with each inconvenience he recalled. 

“I’m sorry, my love,” you pouted at him, genuinely upset that he had such a bad day. Josh was the sweetest, kindest man you’d ever met. He deserved nothing but the most wonderful days. “I can’t do much but would a cuddle help?” you asked hopefully, pushing yourself away from him and opening your arms welcomingly. Josh smiled, the first real one you’d seen, his pearly white perfect teeth on display, looking just a little bit happier at the suggestion. 

“A cuddle always helps,” he grinned. You readjusted yourself in your seat, lifting the blanket up with one hand and patting your lap with the other. 

Josh got up before plopping himself down in your lap, straddling you with a leg on the side of each hip. His head burrowed into your neck as you laid the blanket back over the both of you. Your left hand moved to his curls, raking your fingers through them while your right hand slid under the back of his shirt, nails training up and down his spine. He wrapped himself around you like a koala, inhaling the scent of your shampoo and body wash, taking slow deep breaths and calming himself. 

With his incessant need for constant physical touch, you’d found out early in your relationship that this was the ideal position for Josh to get what he needed to ground himself and calm down. Everyone needed to be held sometimes, and he was no exception. His arm tenderly wrapped around your waist as he gave you a squeeze, his breath warm and soothing against your neck. “Is there anything else on your mind, lover?” you asked, leaning your cheek against his head as you continued to rub his back. 

“Just miss you, I guess,” he mumbled into your skin. “Feels like forever since we’ve been like this. Miss holding you, being held by you. Miss your kisses, touching you, loving on you. Just miss you.”

“I miss you too, Josh,” you sighed, feeling tears well in your eyes at the thought of him feeling so starved for attention and affection and love. “But we’re here now, and you’re off for the next few days, aren’t you?”

He nodded, hair tickling your face. “Yeah, wanna spend them just like this,” he hummed, completely and utterly content. 

After a few moments he lifted his head, moving to rest his forehead against yours. His lips gently pressed into yours  and he melted against you even more, your hands moving to hold his hips. Your lips melded together as he poured all his love into you with a kiss that said I love you, I miss you, I need you. 

Josh deepened the kiss as his mouth parted, a tiny high pitched whine escaping his throat. His hands moved from behind you to tug at the bottom of your shirt. “Want it off,” he muttered against your lips. You smiled before pulling back, tugging your shirt off carelessly and tossing it behind you as he did the same with his own. He groaned at the sight of your naked chest and you could feel him grow hard in his pants from where he sat in your lap. “You’re so beautiful, mama,” Josh whispered before reconnecting your lips, his tongue immediately tangling with yours in a sloppy kiss. You swallowed the wanton moans and sighs that left him, gulping them down greedily as his hips began to move against you on their own accord. “Fuck,” he shuddered when his hips caught a particularly good spot.

“Feel good, sweet boy?” you asked, caressing his cheek with your thumb. His face was flushed and his eyes were clazed over with lust and love and pleasure. “It’s been so long, you must be real pent up, huh?”

“Yeah,” his breath hitched and eyes clenched shut as he ground his covered c ock against your lower stomach. “I had plans, y’know. Soon as I got home, was gonna make you cum on my tongue, then my fingers. Then I was going to fuck you, slow and sweet, just like you deserve.”

“We can still do all that, baby,” you kissed his neck, sucking and biting in all the places you knew drove him crazy. “But you deserve this, and you look so fucking pretty like this, Joshua.”

He keened high in his throat, the noise needy as his hands grappled at your sides, squeezing the soft flesh. “Say that again, please?”

“You like being called pretty, baby?” you whispered into his ear as his head dropped to your shoulder, his hips grinding faster against you now. “You wanna be my pretty good boy?”

“Yes,” he groaned, biting lightly at the junction of your neck and shoulder. “Gonna be so good for you, promise.”

“You already are, baby,” you said, and he was. Josh was the prettiest thing you’d ever seen, all the time. When he was on stage performing for thousands, when he was concentrating with his tongue poking between his lips, when he was sitting as still as he possibly could while getting his rhinestones applied, but he was especially pretty like this when he was sat on your lap, grinding his hips back and forth feverishly chasing that high that was building in the pit of his stomach. You kissed his bare shoulder, loving the feeling of his naked chest pressed against yours, how his hips rutted into you without care, how his neck and chest and ears were all blushed pretty pink. Your hands held his hips firmly, helping guide his movements, to grind him down on you just a little bit harder. “You’re always so good for me, Josh. So good to me. No one has ever loved me like you do, cared for me like you do, fucked me like to do, made me cum like you do. My best boy, the sweetest boy in the world, and you’re all mine. Aren’t you?”

“All yours, all fucking yours,” he gasped and lifted his head and threw it back, an expression of pure bliss etched onto his god-like face. 

“God, I’m the luckiest woman in the world. Do you know how many people would kill to see you like this and I get it all the time, anytime I want,” you mouthed at his collar bones and moved one hand from his hip to cup the bulge in his pants. “You’re so hard, pretty boy. This must hurt. You wanna cum?”

“So bad,” he nodded, his back arching while he ground into the palm of your hand. You could almost feel him throb through his pants. 

“Go ahead, cum for me,” you leaned up to capture his lips once more. “Just like this. I wanna see it.”

“But my pants,” he whined but didn’t stop or slow his movements. 

“I don’t care, and I don’t think you do either. Now c’mon, make a mess, pretty boy.”

A broken moan clawed from the deep within his chest as his hips stuttered against you and a warm wet spot blossomed on the front of his pants, darkening the fabric. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” he cried before slowing the movement of his hips gradually, riding out his high. 

When it finally died down, he slumped forward and pressed a row of kisses across your shoulder, breaths coming out in heavy pants. “Feel better?” you asked, hand tangling in his hair once more. 

“So much,” he smiled with an airy, fucked out giggle. “Thank you, darling. I needed that so bad, you have no idea.”

“Anything for my pretty boy,” you ran a hand over his warm face before tapping his hip. “Now get up and I’ll run us a bath, then we can order-in dinner. How does that sound?”

“Like heaven.”

=

taglist: @peachpitpearls @alexxavicry @spark-my-nature

#josh kiszka x reader #josh kiszka imagine #josh kiszka fic #josh kiszka smut #greta van fleet x reader #greta van smut #greta van fic #gvf fic #gvf smut #josh kiszka #greta van fleet #babby writes

[moonjxsung]

i'm ranting about my ex boyfriend because he's so mean and i'm literally. i'm just here i just exist and he hates me idfk

so i call him an ex but really he was a fucking 4 month situationship i should've ran MY BAD GUYS !!! anyway we had a little thing i guess and we broke up around January/february. things were so good in the beginning, but the main reason why we didn't date was because he wasn't over his ex. i know i'm side eyeing my screen too. ANYWAY so things were sooo good and i was like "omg ! he really likes me and he wants to be in a relationship soon !!" i was very wrong.

okay so something about me is that i have bpd and it's not like. super horrible but i still do have it on top of attachment issues, fear of communication (trauma lolll), jealousy issues, etc. he used to always talk about his girl friends and say how funny they were, send me screenshots of their chats, games they were playing, said "sorry i hang out with ____ to much she's affecting me". BRO WHY DIDNT I RUN anyway i was just really sad and felt jealous but felt like i couldn't because we weren't. yk. technically dating BUT HE TOLD ME HE WANTSD TO 💔💔

anyway another thing is he was a really big gamer and. was not. he wanted me to play games with him and i told him i was really bad but he was like "it's okay i'll teach you !!" lets just say i don't really like to play games anymore. :( he used to yell at me for being bad to the point i had to mute myself sometimes and try not to cry in a match because i felt horrible for disappointing him. i spent hours learning his favorite games just to still not be good and it made me feel really horrible and upset. then i just told him i don't really wanna play and he said "it's okay i'll just play with (insert girl here)" and i was just like :(((( and he played with those girls every single day and would ignore me to play with them which made me feel worse.

another thing is he talked about his ex all the time. and i let him vent to me about her. he even called her "my qiqi" which was his nickname for her when they were dating while venting to me. i'm gonna cry typing this bye

anyway at the end of our situationship he got really mean and really didn't give a shit if it hurt my feelings or not. he got mad at me for going on a date WITH MY FRIEND FOR VALENTINE'S DAY because he posted "fuck valentines" and didn't do a single thing or even text me on that day. so yeah i just didn't even say anything and blocked him because he was manipulating me and was awful and abused me !!! don't date men who aren't over their exes guys !!

- 🦢

Situationship the bane of my existence 💔💔💔💔

ALSO WHY IS IT ALWAYS BC PEOPLE AREN’T OVER THEIR FUCKINF EXES WHAT RHE FUXIDIKSK can yall like get over your stupid exes before pursuing a 4 month situationship good GODDDD I’m so sick of it 😭 idc if you’re not over an ex like that’s completely normal but please don’t make it somebody else’s problem while actively pursuing them and then making them look stupid when they inevitably catch feelings???!/!/! Where is the logic here

Why do I feel like we had the exact same ex lmffmdkdkkdkdkd mine used to talk about his sexual experiences w other girls soooo much and then it’d always turn into some giant fight when I told him to stop. One time he got mad at me for saying Timothee Chalamet was cute and he was like “if I can’t talk about the girls I’ve had sex with then I don’t want to hear about that loser” like it’s the same thing???? HUH

Men who talk about other girls or their sex lives to you while falsely pursuing you 🤢🤢🤢🤢 also the part about the gaming??? The fuck???????? My ex was ALSO a huge gamer and he added me to his guy friends’ discord server and literally pleaded me not to send anything or participate so he could keep his rank good fuckinf lord maybe put that energy into a job application 🫶 feel like our exes should date each other they have so much in common 😍

I’m so sorry you went through all that you deserve so so so much better ☹️ all my love sweet angel. somebody better will come along who’s meant for you and they won’t make you feel like any less than you deserve

Don’t date people who aren’t over their exes guys 🫶🫶🫶🫶 it is a living hell 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

#🦢 anon #ask

[mushiewrites]

Sorry you are big sad plz feel better soon :(

For the cute headcanon all of the Dteams necks are ticklish on different levels.

They go from just a flinch with a small giggle to a squeal and a full belly laugh. From just raising their shoulders to a full body collapse on the couch or even the ler.

And yes they do that thing where there’s two lers or two lees and they go from tracing the jaw line to blowing raspberries between the neck and shoulder.

fluffy thank you ):

…..also sit back and get ready bc i’m about to rant about dteam neck tks (:

(@emmadoodlewrites uh u might wanna get in here)

dream

i think dream has a pretty sensitive neck. i think light traces get him, as well as when someone squeezes the back of his neck or if they blow raspberries or do nibbles on the sides of it ): dream starts out with these lil high pitched giggles when the tkling is light, but as soon as it’s squeezing or nibbles or raspberries he’s wheezing and pleading and laughing. and he’d be trying so hard not to squirm away but it tks so damn bad he can’t help it. if dream is being pinned down, he’s still squirming, but mostly just doing little pathetic kicks or hitting the floor, couch, bed, etc. with his fists ):

george

hear me out - i think george is extremely sensitive on his neck. he is so flinchy and squirmy everytime someone even reaches near his neck or shoulder area that i think he just is so helplessly tklish there. george, much like sap, i think would be sensitive to all types or tks there - soft, rougher, squeezing, raspberries, nibbles….you name it, its gonna make george giggle. sometimes with lighter ones it’s just fluttery light giggles, but then other times it’s high pitched cackles between begging and “nohohoho nohohoHOHOT THAHAHAHAT!” (that’s to raspberries and nibbles under his ear). he absolutely is the type to just go dead weight, whether that means collapsing into something or someone, or slowly (or immediately) falling onto the ground below him - which only leaves room for more torture tbh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

sapnap

my baby boy. my tklish little guy. the man the myth the legend. sapnap. and oh boy, does my baby have a sensitive lil neck. sapnap is the worst out of the three of them. if someone even breathes near his neck, he goes into a slight giggly panic, bringing his shoulders up to his ears and his arms across his chest in case he needs to quickly grab someone’s hand, or push someone’s face away. everything you could think of doing that would tk someone’s neck? it works on sap. feathers? he’s giggling. light nail strokes? he’s laughing. nibbles and raspberries? he’s fucking hysterical. this is where george and dream come in, and where the whole two lers run fingers up and down someone’s jaw and along the sides of their neck. it also means double raspberries, and it also means one of them holding saps arms out while the other nibbles and blows raspberries into sapnaps neck. they would hold him down on his tummy, pulling the collar of his shirt down slightly to blow raspberries into the nape of his neck and as far down between his shoulder blades as they could go. and then they’d flip sap, and he’d be begging, because he knows this means that there’s not only nibbles and raspberries at the sides and base of his neck, but also to his extremely tkly collarbones 🥰

#lee!dream #lee!george #lee!sapnap #fluffy fics #asks #oh fluffy ): #thank u sm oh my gosh i love them so much #my heart is so full #my babies ): #oh gosh i could cry i love them so much #u knew i had to throw collarbones in there #for sap #and also for #someone else….:: #mushie concepts / hcs #mcyt tickle

[skullrock]

No, you're so real. Steve literally got the short end of the stick ever since s3 when ST writers decided to dumb him down for the sake of it, and even the fandom ran with it. It's so annoying because for me, s3 Steve feels like such a completely new character, like yeah he looked cute in the sailor costume, but that's it. Him not knowing any movies or just saying dumb things unprompted for laughs is not like how s1/2 Steve acted. It's insane how he's only allowed to feel sad about his love life, but not about his (physical) trauma he has to endure every season. Him getting tortured for jokes will never not sit right with me, especially because we are supposed to feel bad for Hopper in the same breath. And now Eddie, someone we know for less than a year gets everything? We don't even know Steve's parents. I mean I don't care about books bc tbh I feel like they would fuck this up. Like they would probably do something about Stancy while not even diving into any trauma, so I'm okay with that. Honestly, I only trust a few selective people in the fandom with Steve's character. The official writers will never get him like us do. Sorry for this rant, but the book was also kinda my last straw, nothing against Eddie and his stans I know the majority of them aren't happy with it as well.

SAY THAT!!!!!! i do love s3 steve but yeah its whiplash man. in s1 and s2 he’s GOOFY but he has a very serious side to him, too. he jumps into action but still errs on the side of caution. he’s sure of himself and a bit arrogant but also humble and selfless enough to let go of nancy and know when he’s fucked up. s3 steve was just a silly billy (affectionate) and i do like that he was able to pick up on things that robin and dustin missed (like the song in the recording)! but overall his vibe was much goofier than s1 and 2. then we go back to the mainly serious and humble and selfless steve who is just trying to find his way. he’s very much a lover and i think that’s been consistent, but it’s irritating that they kind of summed his character down to nancy simp (aren’t we all) in s4. and it’s not even just a steve issue, it’s an every character issue! there’s so much back and forth it’s almost difficult to get ANY of these characters consistent and right in fanon.

ANYWAY. i really wish they hadn’t lost their way with steve. i wish they kept building on him and we could watch him grow into a young adult that was forced to grow up too fast with absent parents and his trauma. and i wish they’d delve into it more. i like steve being one of those characters that has to stay strong for others, but his scene with robin in s4 could have been a lot more emotional and fleshed out. where are his parents when he comes home fucked up? what does he do when he can’t sleep? why doesn’t he cry, even around people he trusts? there’s so much they could get into. but to be fair i think they sweep a lot of character’s trauma under the rug - which i understand bc narratively they need to focus on more, but i’m a lil tired of the “only hopper, el, and will have dealt with trauma” angle

#THATS MY OPINION!!!!!!!!!! gif here #answered

[spooki-ghoztzz]

may i ask for some bc mike and dave comfort 💔 i read a sad mike fic earlier and i just love dave for some reason hes always stuck in my mind like one of those fucking song worm things whatever theyre called i wanna rip him out and squeeze him affectionatley get what i mean??? anyways yeah, anything with them seperatley really i love them ❤️ (spelling and grammar is probably shit, im on my laptop so i have no auto correct, sorry 😭)

( It's alright deary! tbh i’ve been burned out already so i’m sorry if these aren’t good! )

( Michael Afton. )

Mikey isn’t the best with comfort but he really tries considering he probably has to be comforted more than anything due to past trauma and his father. If you really needed it though he’d be right there for you.

His biggest way of comfort is holding your hands or hugging you close as he plays with a strand of your hair as he listens to your rant on about what’s been troubling you.

Poor boy hates seeing you cry,if you start crying he might start crying also! seeing you upset is something that he almost blames himself for sometimes.

He’d also wrap a blanket around you and tuck you into a blanket burrito as he holds you close,may even watch a movie or two with you.

Kisses on the head are also a big part of the way he comforts you. It became a habit after a while to kiss you on the forehead if you ever felt sad.

He might get the plushies out if you’re still upset,tucking the plushies around you and saying that “they’re all there to make you feel better” which gets a giggle out of you.

( Dave Miller. )

This poor “texan” isn’t that good at comforting either only cause he ain’t used to some normal human emotions and how to deal with them. The only thing he could think to do is stay close to you and maybe hold your hand as he listens to you rant.

He’d be the guy to make jokes to try and make you feel better or maybe tickle attack you- if it doesn’t work it would make him a bit frustrated.

Dave would let you rest your head on his as he listens,maybe he’d reach a hand up to run it through your hair as you did.

Eventually he’d suggest a movie and cuddling and if you agree he’d be up in a flash to grab a big blanket for the two of you. for once he’d be the big spoon just for you <3

If you still feel bad after the movie he’d try and cheer you up more by getting you snacks or some of your comfort items. 

poor man is stressed while he tries to make you happy since seeing you sad just makes him stressed,,

#blueycapsules #blueycapsules x reader #blueycapsules dave #blueycapsules michael #dave x reader #michael x reader

[steviescrystals]

stream of consciousness rant bc i’ve been having one of the worst weeks of my life <3 feel free to ignore if you don’t care i just need to get my thoughts out

for context if you haven’t seen my other sad rambling posts recently, i got laid off from a job i loved this week and was given zero explanation as to why (and was specifically told i did nothing wrong). word of advice from someone who gets attached to things very easily: please don’t ever make a job your entire life, especially if you are young like me and you don’t plan on turning it into a long-term career. i made the mistake of letting a huge part of my identity and self-worth get tied up in this job, and now that i’ve lost it, i’m pretty much spiraling. onto the rant!

the cool thing about something bad happening when you have a paranoid personality is that on top of all the typical feelings this bad thing would cause for a normal person, it also just reinforces your paranoia. like, just when you think you’re becoming more self-aware and getting better at realizing when your fears are irrational, this bad thing you’ve been worrying about actually happens, and it fucks you up. because there you were thinking “i’m scared this is going to happen, but logically i know i have no reason to think that, it’s just my brain telling me to freak out when i don’t have to” and then it turns out you were right to be scared. and every fucking time (for me, at least) it leads you down this path of “well i was right about this thing, so clearly my fears ARE justified and these things i’m always freaking out about ARE likely to happen” and the stress and anxiety just gets so much worse. i spent so much time telling myself i was being irrational and had nothing to worry about (and everyone around me told me the same thing) and yet it happened anyway. i have a friend who once told me i spend too much time overthinking and dwelling on the negatives, and consequently i manifest bad things happening to me / manifest myself being miserable (side note: maybe not a constructive thing to say to someone with depression and anxiety, i know she meant well but this did very much hurt my feelings at the time). so now i feel like i’m just questioning everything so much and wondering if i somehow brought this on myself simply because i spent so much time worrying about it. but at the same time, how am i supposed to stop that when it was never intentional in the first place? everyone’s always saying you have to change your mindset, but i don’t know how to control these thoughts. i thought i was doing all i could by telling myself when these thoughts came up that i wasn’t thinking logically, but clearly it wasn’t enough because the thoughts kept coming and the bad thing happened and now i don’t know what to do or how to move forward. i feel like i’m second-guessing everything in my life and my already not-great mental state has taken a massive hit in the space of two days. i don’t really know what point i’m trying to get across here or if anyone will even read this, but i’ve just felt like i’m drowning in my thoughts and i don’t want to put all of this on anyone i know irl, but i had to get it out of my brain. if you did read this far and you related to this mess of a post in any way or have any advice, please let me know. i’d really just like to not feel so alone in this right now :)

#said this at the beginning but i’ll say it again: DO NOT let your job become your identity #i know on some level it was just a job and i was never planning to stay there forever #but at the moment this is absolutely devastating and i feel like my life is ruined #bc i put way too much of myself into a company that turned out to not appreciate or care about me at all #please learn from me bc i would not wish this feeling on anyone #vent #lj.txt

[vertinen]

IM HAVING IDENTITY ISSUES AGAIN. BCS OF THE SAME FRIENDDDDDS. I HATE HOW I DONT HAVE A BACKBONE WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

Why cant i understand people? Why will the other leave? I understand her abandonment issue sbut please dont abandon me i dont want it to happen again. I’ll spill eveyrthing ill be nice, ill change my personaith just so you could be my friend. Please.

Every friend i have keeps leaving me i dont want to be left alone again with my mother please i cant take it anymore. My dad doesnt even want me, my mom is too complex i dont know what she wants from me.

My 2 best friends have left me when i entered high school, made up excuses that they thought I was busy when i kept repeating i wasnt that busy. They left me and in the end i blocked them so i can keep up the act that i did something to cut them off. I didnt do jack shit, they left before i could even act like i left them. Im a fucking pussy, a coward who can only yell and yell because thats the only good thing i could do. To yell loudly and hope anyone can catch what im saying, how im trying to call for help.

It feels disgusting when i rant to them, it feels humiliating that I made this tumblr acc so i could stop harassing them. I hate you so much it makes me puke, it makes me want to tear your face off why are you me?

Im tired, im angry, im sad, im scared, im jealous, im trigger happy, why cant i have good parents? She has a good relationship with her mother and rich, the other can afford therapy and is going to therapy. Why cant i have that? Is it because i cant be independent? I can be i swear! I can be just give me a shot im begging.

I’ll stop giving my opinions, i can be your own jester, your own clown, your own puppet just please treat me like im the world. Give me love, give me affection, give me all of the things i never had as a kid, im easy to please, im easy to entertain just please. Dont leave me. I hate being left all alone with her.

My dad ignored my cries of help. I dont want to be in the shadow, i want to be in the light just like them! I want to be free.

I want to have my own independence! I want to know more about myself instead of being scared to analyze myself because it’lm fuck me up more. I want to understand people because i was trapped in a cage for so long that i dont understand social norms, society, and etiquette.

I’m sorry im bad at giving my opinions, to give flowery meaning to my words, i swear i can be better if you could just let me.

I want to scream at him what she wants to do, that she wants to leave us in the dust as soon as she leaves our school.

Its killing me. I want her to be free from this cage, she wants out and i get it. But if she leaves then she’ll leave us, why does she want to leave? I know why but it just shatters me why.

I want to scream at her sometimes. To scream she’s just like her fathe rbut i know itll break her if i tell her because shes not like her father its just because of her father that she cuts people before they cut her out in due time. I understand that i really do because my dad did that too many times, but still.

Im scared of people leaving me. Thats why i still havent left my mom even if she’s verbally abusive to me. I didnt leave my best friends even if we were toxic, even if i saw that they had moved on without me. It took 3 fucking years before i blocked them, even if they had left me behind i still stayed. Why? Why do i cling to people?

Well its because i want love. Humans crave love and affection and unfotunately I am one.

The first paragraph was about my friend psychoanalyzing me, saying im an extrovert and how i accept his opinion even if i feel like im not an extrovert and feel like an introvert, yet i force myself to think im an extrovert but im not. Im not agender i just lied to him about being agender, im genderqueer. There i finally fucking said it.

He’s a sweet friend, its just that whatever he says i acceot without hesitation because hes the 3rd friend i finally got and i dont want to mess things up. I keep messinh things up i hate it.

I dont know how to keep a friend, i dont know how to be myself, i dont know how to accept that friends leave, i dont know how to stop traumadumping because of how my trauma broke me as a person, i dont know how to tell people the problems i have like a normal person.

Once the facade cracks everything breaks, my whole reality is breaking, tearing apart, eaten up by my depression, my identity crisis, my trauma, and by myself.

I’m sorry.

[ebugsbones]

big rant from my bottled-up feelings:)

I FUCKING HATE YOU

!!this is targeted and is just everything I’ve been thinking for a moment I can guarantee this is not about anyone seeing this:) but TW for basically everything!! also this is not proofread

Why take homecoming pictures with someone and then not post any of them??? Like we went to the place you wanted them and then you didn’t even post them! And basically telling me I look bad and I was dressed inappropriately? In the dress my Christian grandmother picked out for me?? This isn’t even meant to be shaming but was it because your jealous? Did you think I looked better or something? Because honestly there should be no other reason unless you where embarrassed about how you yourself looked. You literally posted every other picture and even ones from the Photo Booth but I wasn’t in any of them. It can’t be coincidence. I’m not even going to ask about it if you tell me tmr that something’s wrong then so be it. The only other thing would be that you where mad I sat out most of the face bc I was overwhelmed and forgot myy headphones. (That I could understand a bit better but even so tell me)

No but honestly how can you be such a self-centered ass hole to do something like that to someone. Fuck you #### I hope you have to re take your ducking senior year you cunt<3 you’re a dumb bitch anyways and I honestly don’t care what I say anymore I’m sick of your drama and your constant mood swings. The only reason I went to homecoming with you was because you got turned down by another sophomore boy who was your neighbor?? With a girlfriend, who’s mom told him to say yes so you wouldn’t be alone your senior year. All you do is talk shit about other people and put them down when you have no room to talk. Also don’t even get me started on you making fun of a girl with POTS and putting her down for having an illness/disorder she can’t control. I may not like the girl much either but At least I’m not being a bully.

<3 I’m done walking on egg shells have a great senior year with no one who will put up with you because you lost the last person who gave a single fuck about you. You need to grow up and start treating people with respect and you also need to stop touching people inappropriately. You’re an adult now stop groping my boobs. It’s honestly sad that all your friends are freshmen and sophomores, and using your seniority to manipulate them into sticking around is disgusting. You also need to stop being so 2 faced. This isn’t just about pictures at this point it’s about how last year when I was being harassed by ~~~~~ and her group of friends you took her side once people started to realize how bad of a person she was before she started getting clean. And this isn’t about her bc I’m very proud of her for getting clean and making the changed needed to do better for herself. Bc let’s be honest if your asthma is that bad you don’t 3 monsters a day. Also learn how to stay if fucking step you suck at marching and keeping time plus you never play your trumpet and it’s honestly pathetic bc only 1 person plays in your section. Moral of this rant is don’t be a suck up and don’t let people who still act like little 8-year-olds control you and make you upset.

Also, another thing how the fuck are you going to try and tell me that calling a Native American a red skin isn’t offensive and they liked it? Because Ik your white ass knows nothing about my culture and I know I’m very white washed but I’ve experienced racism and if I’m telling you personally that I don’t like the message then there is definitely something wrong with you. And then getting angry at me because I told you your wrong. It’s not okay and continuing to make jokes with one of your friends about how I look adopted and I look Asian because I don’t tan like the rest of my family is fucked up and I’ve told both of you to stop multiple times and that it makes me uncomfortable. It’s not just a joke. And it’s also funny how you continue after you talked so much shit about the girl who started it.

And the reason I’m posting this here is because I needed to get these emotions out in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone including the person the post it about:) also like the person this post is about don’t let other people invalidate your emotions it’s okay to be angry and if the person your upset with isn’t open to letting you express your feelings, then they aren’t a person to keep in your life. Stay safe.

also sorry I know that's a lot most people wont read but then again I'm using this as a diary and its better out then in:)

#spilled thoughts #rant post #rant tw #vent post #hate it #my writing #mental illness #mental health #thoughts

[dex-starr]

Swear to fucking god I know the justifications of my choice are like not bad but fuck dude I’m so miserable for doing what’s seemingly the right thing to do fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK.

I just am so tired of it why do I make what the “right” choices are if they just consistently fuck me over like this.

FUCK. IM SO MAD AT MYSELF

Literally I’m my worst enemy because I try not to take too much but I’m always told in some way or another by the universe that I’m asking for too much.

Patience from someone that loves me? Too big of an ask dude sorry nobody is going to have patience for as long as you need despite what’s told to you?

Patience and understanding for knowing something is wrong with you and there’s a lot you haven’t said because you don’t know how to say it without it looking bad or facing a judgement for it without you explaining things? Sorry dude we’re just going to pry into it further and make a fucking judgement even though it’s not anyone’s situation to fucking tell yet. Like it’s so fucked up bc the only times I pry into shit is if I think you’ve decided to not tell me something bc you think I did something wrong and are withholding from me. You know why? You know why I was so annoying about it? Because it was literally a remnant from an abusive relationship where that shit was common place. I always had to be the one begging to be told things and begging on what I did “wrong” even if it was just something small like not wanting to watch a TV show at the time bc I was busy. I literally adapted my whole schedule and life to them, just for a modicum of attention.

I was scared I was repeating the same patterns with you sometimes because of those outbursts but you know how I snapped myself of that thought process?

I gave myself to you willingly because I wanted to be with you, not because I needed someone. I fucking don’t I fucking don’t I fucking don’t leave me alone

I fucking hate that you’re the exception to the rule for me

Ugh I’m just ranting at this point but god I don’t have a target for this anger, frustration, sadness so fuck it I just need to let it out. I spent an entire year bottling it up and moping over you quietly. Only to come back and realize just how you could actually be and become sad at that idea bc I expected more from someone who said what you said to me

And not even saying that you had to be perfect at whatever, be as flawed as you are because that’s the person I cared about not some fucking perfected image. Not some saint or angel, even though I considered you that. I knew you were a hurt person just like me and I admired that you kept going. I admired you, probably sounds fucking dumb to you. But I did. In the ways that I approach the world you were able to see positives in somethings I couldn’t and negatives too. I never not once wanted to not pick your brain on things. You thought just bc I went to school and shit that I thought you were dumb and didn’t think highly of you?

Fucking bullshit dude I just blab a lot bc of this stupid ass adhd. Like I’m fucking blabbing now ahhhh

#ignore this I’m just unleashing pent up anger into the void

[jemmo]

my sister watches bad buddy - ep 3

- omg look at his gay lil high school crush

- ‘that wasn’t a smile’ he says… smiling

- pran at the noodle shop like ‘rlly hope I’m I don’t run into that guy I mounted 10 seconds ago’

- omg the back and forth, the bickering, the domesticity of it all

- there’s an innuendo I could make about a chopstick fight but this is too cute to ruin

- pran wanna be that dumpling

- it’s a date! he paid, that means it’s a date!

- pat: let’s race pran: pls you’re so childish also pran: cheats to get a head start

- his lil floppy flops!!

- dw pran, pat will resort to underhand tactics to beat you

- his lil pouty lips!! he’s such a dick!!!

- STOP FUCKING FLIRTING

- can the man pls not be so lovesick, it’s putting me off my chicken

- fucking ok wai, what did the chair do to you??

- i could really do with a moral compass like pa. i need to be called out on my shit too

- oof. i felt when he dropped that can

- pat being the least subtle stalker ever

- pran grabbing pat by the shirt like ‘ may be mad but at least now I can fulfil my dream of pushing this man against a wall’

- noooooo don’t say that, he looks so sad *pat smirks* scratch that, I should’ve known, he’s evil

- pat trying to get back into pran’s good books like “you know you’d miss me if I wasn’t annoying you”

- me and pat have the same level of self-confidence except his is deserved and mine is delusional

- “you think I want to be this close” no in fact he wants to be closer

- pran’s longing stare is rlly stinking up that lift

- it’s like when someone farts in a lift and everyone’s looking around for the culprit except it’s just strangers looking at each other like ‘do you see those gays gaying over there’

- you ever plaster your whole body against your buddy for *jokes*

- can they stop with all the dog talk, it’s like they’re asking for a furry fic

- sniff him! sniff him! SNIFF HIM!

- and pran nutted right there

- he just wants to hang out! don’t be mean! he dressed up so hot for you!

- i will never cave so easy *gets called babe* I have caved

- pat malewife confirmed!!!!

- pat is on crack for this, how dare he

- i’m not against public sex, and pat was so mountable in that scene

- pat in this ep is just like *shouts aggressively* no I will be your knight in shining armour!

- pat might be a himbo but he can still manipulate his fellow himbos to do his bidding

- knock on the door already gay boy!!

- he’s reaching out! I’m so proud!

- omg can he stop tho. he’s too good, I actually hate it. stop being a good boy

- *physically convulsed and squealed bc of the way pat looked at pran*

- pran stop lusting so hard this is a public hallway!

- he a happy boi!!!!!

(ep 1) (ep 2)

+ if you miss my rants, heres a lil footnote

just wanted to add this bc me and my sister usually chat after the ep and she said something about how ep 3 is just pat trying to make pran happy, and trying to do good things for him, but them never working or pran always seeing the bad, and them not even being his fault but pat just trying to make things right. and then when everything’s settled, he rights something by giving pran his guitar back and finally he turns the door hanger and pat has made him happy! 

i just never thought of ep 3 like this, but it’s so cute. the way that none of it is his fault, the bus stop or the rebuild or the expenses, but bc the responsibility is put on pran, and pran kinda puts the blame on pat as a form of defence and bc it’s maybe easier to get mad at him than at the real guilty people, pat takes it upon himself to fix things. bc pat wouldn’t have done any of this normally, but bc it inconveniences pran and makes him sad, he has to do it. he’s not forced, he does it off his own back. and it’s almost like this healing cycle, bc it’s like pran knows he can blame pat bc pat will fix things, bc pat can put it right for him, it’s a way pran can take all the burden put on him and put it on someone else and have it looked after and dealt with. unlike every other negative force in his life, here he can be mad about something and see someone actually try to right it. no one else does that for him, not his parents or his friends. he’s mad at the situation but it’s like he knows voicing that won’t make them change. but here, pat changes, pat goes to the effort of doing this for him, where pran feels like no one else would. i just think that’s so good. 

and it’s the same with the guitar, it’s not pats fault, but bc pran has to take the fall, pat takes it upon himself to put things right and return it. getting mad at his mom won’t give him any catharsis bc she won’t apologise, but getting mad at pat, he will apologise, he will try to make up for it. and I just rlly like that pat is this way for pran to see that there’s good in the world, there’s ppl that want to do stuff for him, that his anger is valid and that ppl want to make him feel better. instead of always being responsible for other peoples feelings, someone else can be responsible for his. and i just know if Pat had seen him turn that door hanger he would’ve jumped for joy bc finally he made pran happy, that’s all he ever wants

#I’m so sorry this is so late #i literally just keep on forgetting to tidy up these notes and post them #we’re actually on ep 6 now #so I’ll post eps 4 and 5 this week I promise #anyway just need you all to know that my sister is head over heels in love with pat #officially top 5 people ever #and that’s a lot for her #but yes she may be more than a little whipped for him #and this ep was just a lot of screaming about them being gross and so obviously in love #she lives for the the longing #bad buddy #made by jemmo

[cassirino]

Prompt : s/o is the ultimate! Singer, however they don't sing often as they're self conscious about how they sound, but their partner hears them sing.

(I'm new to writing hc/ficlets for dr so I'm so sorry if they're ooc at all 🥺)

Kokichi :

• deadass requests you sing careless whisper to him sooo many times as a joke but when you go "ight bet-" he's kinda shook.

• after connecting to the bluetooth you two share in your bedroom, you sing that one verse where it's like, "tonight the music seems so loud-" and he falls for you all over again.

• he's genuinely stunned at how gorgeous your singing voice is, and when you finish your verse he doesn't even realise he's grinning at you.

• "Oma? You there?" You giggle nervously as you gently tap his cheek, and kokichi just laughs.

• the trickster immediately feels bad for laughing when you pout and ask if you were really that bad.

• "noooo! darling you sounded so fucking good oh my lord! not good at singing my ass." he giggles and gives you a smooch. "and i'm not lying this time!" he smiles brightly and you cheer up, hugging him with a thank you.

Rantaro :

• he doesn't want to pressure you to sing, but assured you that, without even hearing your voice, you sounded absolutely wonderful.

• "darling, trust me when I say you are wonderful in every way-" "rantaro-" "and I love you so much-" "RANTARO-"

• will smother you with praise and smooches bc he's a supportive bf

• eventually, you sing for your shared anniversary with your boyfriend as you're getting ready to go on a dinner date with him and his family.

• you almost scream when you feel rantaro hug you tightly; not knowing he was there.

• "see! you can sing - i told you so!" he laughs, kissing your neck and cheek so many times.

• "I really cant, my voice is raspy and-" "HUSH! the only reason is that you didn't prepare your voice, however you still sounded so fucking delicious, I could-" "okay, that's enough of that."

• he holds it above your head the whole night, but you still love him.

Nagito :

• he was half asleep on your couch when you started singing idly whilst working on your homework.

• he honestly feels like he doesn't deserve to hear your voice but is so entranced by your talent.

• "my love, you sound beautiful!" he beams as soon as you go quiet to focus properly.

• jolting with surprise, you turn to him. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to wake you with all that, you probably don't wanna hear it." you frown.

• nagito shifts into overprotective mode instantly, insisting you are the best singer he's ever heard and assuring you that if you were comfortable with it he'd love to hear you sing more!

• "are you sure?" you pout. "absolutely! your talent is so incredible! i'm surprised trash like me is able to date you, let alone hear you-"

• you shut him up with a kiss and he smiles softly.

Kazuichi :

• he's deadass so shocked to hear you singing from the other room he drops his spanner on his foot.

• running through to where you were cleaning, he (accidentally) scares the life out of you when he yells. "YO YOU SOUND SO FUCKING COOL!"

• you're stunned into silence before he starts praising you and your face burns red.

• "it wasn't that good-" "babe I love you, but, shut the fuck up that was the most impressive note I've ever heard in my life oh my god-"

• this goes on for hours.

• when you're more comfortable with singing in front of him, kazuichi gets a serotonin spike every time you do.

• he'll even duet with you!

Gundham :

• You're singing his animals to sleep, and when the ultimate breeder hears you for himself, he's convinced you're a siren out for his heart despite you already having it.

• "my queen, you sound impeccable." he smiles, giving you a kiss on the cheek and your cheeks flush as you deny it.

• "my love, if I wasn't already madly in love with you, I would fall for you all over again."

• this comment silents you as you continue to tend to one of his Dark Divas, a soft smile on your face.

• he gives you another kiss before getting up and continuing with his daily chores.

Chiaki :

• chiaki is so stressed with a certain boss she has to defeat, so instead of getting too angry, she pauses the game and storms off to find you.

• you were sat on the couch, a random cartoon on in the background as you scrolled through your phone.

• chiaki huffed as she plopped down onto you, holding onto you tightly.

• "oh! hello there, softie. what's wrong?" you smile, putting your phone down to hug her back.

• "that boss is ass to fight." she pouted, and you assure her that you believed chiaki could do beat them.

• as your smol gf ranted about the game, you combed your fingers through her hair softly before handing chiaki her switch off the docking station, suggesting she played something else for a while.

• obliging, she opened animal crossing and listened to your heartbeat, slowly winding down.

• "is there anything else i can do to help, sweetheart?" you ask softly, "could you sing?"

• when chiaki looked up at you, you couldn't say no to her puppy dog eyes.

• so, you sang the chorus of her favourite song (which totally isn't no mercy by tlt) , kissing her forehead when she leans into you.

• "you sound so fucking goooood!" she giggles

• once calm, you make two mugs of hot chocolate as she wraps up in a blanket and happily avoids her taxes in animal crossing.

Junko :

• despite already knowing what your voice sounds like, she pretended she didn't.

• she still gives you so many compliments!!!

• she loves you so much that anyone that insults you will be executed 🥰

• she catches you singing to yourself and grins, tiptoeing behind you only to grab your shoulders and yell "boo!"

• you yelp, jumping out of her grip before relaxing as you see your girlfriend's mischievous face.

• you whine about how she scared you, but give her a hug.

• "babyyyy, you sound so fucking beautifullll!"

• like kaz, her praise goes on for so long.

• she likes to pester you, but loves it when you get flustered.

Fuyuhiko :

• you were alone as fuyu was away with work, so whilst cleaning up around the house.

• he had been away for three weeks, but that's just how his work goes.

• sure you're sad and worried, but you trust him and have faith that he's safe.

• idly singing to yourself whilst alone was a habit you had, so, whilst singing the chorus of your favourite song you kept working.

• "fucking hell babe, you should sing for me more often."

• you jump in surprise, but when you turn around to see fuyu leaning against the doorframe grinning at you.

• all embarrassment is lost as you quickly engulf him in a tight hug, giving his cheek plenty of kisses.

• "I missed you so much." "I can tell, fucking hell-"

• you help him with any bruises and scrapes he has, and keep smothering him in love.

• "alright, fucking hell, calm down. I've been away for longer than this calm down!"

• you're just happy your smol bf is home, despite him catching you singing to yourself.

#danganronpa #danganronpa imagines #kokichi x reader #rantaro x reader #nagito x reader #kazuichi x reader #gundham tanaka x reader #chiaki x reader #junko x reader #fuyuhiko x reader

[cinnamonest]

All modern genshin boys use 4chan. Except Zhongli ofc

Zhongli uses Facebook and gets caps lock stuck on and can't figure out how to turn it off 😔

They do all use 4chan BUT ALSO you know what I have thoughts on this and I'm subjecting you all to them:

Childe and Venti use Instagram a lot. Venti attention whores on Instagram. All the time. Like posts a selfie with irrelevant comments vaguely implying he had a bad day or something is wrong, but when people ask what he's just like "no no it's nothing" and only finally tells once he has a sufficient amount of attention.

Childe overshares. He's the dude that feels the need to broadcast every moment of his life on insta. Like my dude no one cares. Also abuses Snapchat. So many black screen rants. Updates his story 5 times a day. And it's all whining about having no gf and thus his life is sad.

Xingqiu uses Twitter and he gets into Twitter discourse on a daily basis. Like. Literally the instant there's drama of any kind he's all over it even if it's in a community he has never interacted with before. Enjoys Twitter fights for the sake of it.

Chongyun also uses Twitter but it's the opposite, he's so nice. All he ever does is leave nice comments on people's art and selfies. Also 100% simps for some Twitter egirls. Whites knights for them too. Angel.

Bennett honestly sticks to the mindless entertainment that is TikTok, and has friends on discord. He keeps away from most socials. The last 3 times he joined a social media site someone hacked his accounts.

Diluc uses Reddit no I do not accept criticism. He trauma dumps unintentionally onto random threads. Like "oh yeah my dad liked that game before he died brutally" then continues on as if he didn't just dump that information all over the internet. Shares way too much personal information in general, if anyone he knows irl ever finds his account he's screwed bc you could easily pin it to him by how much information he doesn't hesitate to give out. Is subbed to the standard subs and many many gonewild subs. It cures his loneli™

Albedo also uses Reddit and is literally. The most obnoxious. Bastard. He's one of the pretentious redditors. Have you ever used reddit and left a single short comment with an opinion or idea, or maybe a statement that was not 100% right, and someone responds with a 5 point essay on why you're not only wrong but a complete ignorant buffoon? And it's not even on something important it's like "what brand of this is best" or some bullshit? That's him. Unironically pulls "to be fair you have to have a high IQ to understand Rick and Morty"

Xiao still uses Tumblr. He uses it a lot less now bc he was originally on it for porn. He makes the posts that are just "." But then vents in the tags but like, he makes those posts on an everyday basis when he's sad at 3 am then deletes them the next morning. He's also on 4chan a lot.

Scara uses 4chan the most. Active /pol/ user. Actively takes joy in being as much of an asshole as possible. Takes joy in the suffering of others bc it makes him feel better about his own life.

Xiao is the one posting the greentext stories with the > format, telling of his daily failings. Scara is the guy that leaves super negative comments and has absolutely nothing constructive to say. They have absolutely interacted on multiple occasions. Xiao laments about how he tried and failed to speak more than 2 words to this cute cashier that works at the place he goes to every day (complete with depressed wojak for thread image) and of course Scara is there to be like "ahaha you fucking pussy" when he's literally just as much of an incel shut-in as he is

There's also some dude on the same incel-y threads as them. Lamenting that he's not like the rest of you losers, no he's pretty and tall, but something about his personality drives the foids away?? Why must he suffer so. He shouldn't even be here he says, he's not the type of loser that uses 4chan, but he overshares and regrets it whenever he goes on anything else, blah blah. Scara and Xiao both kinda bully the poor bastard bc how dare he be tall. Anyway, yes Kaeya is a 4chan user

#i have a vendetta against pretentious redditors #lena's asks #q

[silkgonerough]

Astro Observation/Rants #3 (includes moral support for ppl with harsh aspects between their big 3)

🍰UNDERRATED ASPECT COMBO: Mercury sextile venus + mars when I tell you the amount of crazy situations I’ve talked my way out of and the amount of free things I’ve talked my way into is simply ridiculous.. The mixture of both I think gives someone a rlly nice and sweet way of talking but with a certain tact and persuasion with how their saying it if that makes sense? Which equals a real charmer in words but also someone very skilled in how to get what they want through what their saying. If you have this as well start using it to your advantage trust me it works!!!

☹️Does anyone else who has Pluto or Saturn on or aspecting the ascendant in a harsh aspect have an intense self awareness that kind of keeps them from doing certain things bc it gets to much be too much or you get too paranoid over what others will think of you?

😪Being a Sagittarius but with Saturn as my dominant/elevated planet is really not what I signed up for... I thought I was getting my fun carefree casual storyline but Saturn said it’s the struggle for me. RIP to young me who only looked at cookbook astrology and rlly thought I was doing something...

🙃Ppl who have their sun or ascendant squaring your own ascendant usually have habits or just certain things they do that tend to annoy you or make you judgemental in how they present themselves to the world and others around them. My virgo rising squares my moms sagittarius sun and I can’t take her anywhere 😕

🥵Venus square mars is so hot yet such a disaster in synastry😭 like maybe it’s because I attract relationships that tend to be as messy as something out of a Netflix original but I’m always so attracted to guys who’s venus’ square my mars... and then they open their mouths😪

📚If you know someone with mercury in an aspect to saturn compliment their intellect, writting skills or just knowledge in general!! Ppl with this aspect tend to feel insecure with being considered “smart” even if they really are! Most ppl I’ve met are able to articulate their thoughts rlly well and are like walking dictionaries almost? They way they talk when explaining definitions or concepts is also lowkey hot🥵maybe that’s just my Virgo rising talking tho...

💖Sun in any aspect to venus but especially the conjunct/trine as an aspect between two people is the official hype man aspect!! The venus person hypes the hell out of the sun person and vice versa!! Probs the loyal fan who’s always in your comment section😘I love this aspect sm tho you just love the entire being of the other person! one of my fave celebrities has her venus conjunct my sun and I am deeply in love with her🤪

😩WHEN WILL THE UNIVERSE GIVE ME ANYTHING OTHER THEN A DAMN PISCES ARIES OR LIBRA MAN ITS GETTING OLD give me my Scorpio or Capricorn man😭🙏 (except dont bc all of hell will break loose and it’ll be me invigoratingly opening the gates)

🌗If you have your sun in a harsh aspect to your moon (square or opposite) your childhood was probably not the most fun in the home life and you probably understood the harsh reality of marriage or just unhealthy relationships in general from the parents :/ the whole sun/moon inner conflict was also probs pretty prevalent and caused social issues with peers at school.. honestly such a sad aspect to have as a child bc everything’s so hard and you don’t understand why bc you don’t rlly understand yourself yet :( but once you grow into it and figure out how to balance your emotions/moon to your overall personality/sun one can become the strength where the other is weak and it creates a sort of wondrous enigma of a person and ppl can become rlly entranced in your personality! It’s called layers bitch😜

🤫Scorpio/Pluto in the 3rd house (I have both🤗) could be someone who has a lot of secretive hobbies or interests that they don’t share with a lot of ppl but may have a secret social media accounts for them👀 not the type to tell ppl if they like someone but the ppl who are close to them will catch on or honestly figure out just by asking them straight up bc once confronted we get all embarrassed and you can see it on our faces super easily! We love our mysteries, plot twist or literally anything that requires digging deeper or making theories when reading or watching something. No surface level shit here🙅‍♀️

💸Mars in 2nd house may have a shopping addiction or may be bad at saving money. They usually binge shop and are the types that went to a grocery store for more untensils and came back with a waffle maker and a bunch of baking supplies😅 stingy if you eat their food without permission... the type to freak out if they left their fave shirt at their friends house after a sleepover lol, probs has a thing for food and sex together or sex in a really luxurious place with candles and rose petals.. it’s go big or I’m going tf home with them. Have furniture in ur home their not fucking in a god damn roller rink🤣

🌟People with Mercury in Aquarius/aspecting Uranus seem to really like talking about scientific theories or futuristic concepts!! All the ones I’ve known have had really grand ideas and seem to like anything related to the mystical but also seemingly holds a lot of innovative undertones! One of my friends who has Mercury in Aquarius aspecting Neptune/Uranus has a thing for the Disney short films which honestly is like a mix of neptune and uranus in its art forms! I’ve always thought it was cute how eager she is to show me them☺️

🌊From what I’ve observed an aspect that can make someone kind of bad at confrontation or like vocalizing their feelings until it’s too late and their bursting like a freaking geyser is Pisces mars. It doesn’t rlly take a lot to have them feeling some sort of way either with or without a valid reason (this is just an observation from the ones I’ve seen I don’t want to generalize!!) but the way they get angry is like a baby’s tempter tantrum and because I’m a Sagittarius I can always see thru the bullshit and I’m like is anyone else seeing this? I think overall besides Scorpio having a water mars signs is exceptionally hard so I cut them some slack but at what cost😫

🤤Mars conjunct Jupiter people are yummy. The men and women both are so hot and the men are always exuding big dick energy and usually thats what their giving👀

🌎All my big 3 create harsh aspects to one another (sun square moon, moon opposite ascendant, ascendant square sun) I honestly don’t know how I made it this far without literally exploding from tension but to anyone with these I guess my advice would be to refrain from taking things too personally bc it’s usually never that serious we’re just already a bit insecure in ourselves and how we present ourselves to the world! Your perception of how others view you vs how they actually do are usually very different in a good way but we tend to self sabotage ourselves into acting the way we think others want us to! I think having so many conflictive yet different sides of yourself creates a very influential character. It’s kind of like living in many completely different places throughout your life. The change is always hard and you don’t always feel secure but your experience and perception on things are really unique and you can offer other ppl a whole new perspective on who they are bc you yourself are always looking through the world through conflicting yet contrasting lenses.

#natal aspects #natal astrology #astro chart #astro rant #astro culture #astro observations #astrology #natal

[helliontherapscallion]

Anon who’s dog had a seizure. I wanted to be able to give a positive update, but I won’t be able to. I was woken up by a call at around 1:30am from my mom and the first thing she said was “[my dogs name] died”

I don’t know all the details, I was in a full fledge panic attack and was overcome with despair when it was either explained to me or I overheard (frankly, I don’t remember) but apparently at some point either last night or veryyyyy early this morning my mom let the dog out to use the restroom, and he collapsed again similarly to how he did two days ago. My mom rushed him to the emergency vet (a thirty minute drive) but he didn’t even make it there.

I think I was dry heaving at some point because my panic was so bad. I ended up going to the vet with my dad so I could say goodbye (he had before my mom left with the dog) and ngl, going with him did not help in the slightest. My dad has NPD and he kept making the situation about himself and I stg I was ready to throw myself out the car window in the middle of the freeway and walk the rest of the way there OOP—

I was afraid we wouldn’t be able to because of Covid, but we were allowed to all head into the vet and hold him and give proper goodbyes before they took him to be cremated (they have a partnership with some place that does all that jazz). It was rough. He’s a small dog, only 18 pounds, but just holding him felt so different. There was no resistance when I picked him up (I’m not his favorite person lol, so he’d always deadpan and shuffle away a little from me before giving in whenever i’d make grabby hands hahaha) and it was just rough.

A year and a half ago my old bird passed away in that same emergency vet, so I just felt like I was suffocating the whole time. It was basically history repeating itself and I had a ✨mental breakdown✨ while cradling the pooch. My mom almost had to drag me out 2.5 hours later because I didn’t want to leave him. I tried to be strong, he was her dog in the end and they had an unbreakable bond. I should’ve been the one comforting her, not the other way around. I totally failed lol.

Thank god I was able to go home with my mom and not my dad. I wanted to be the one to drive home so she could rest, but I didn’t have the energy to protest when I saw she was already in the drivers seat.

We’ve had him since he was a few months old. I was in first grade at the time, and despite us having a very rocky start (young me didn’t like all the attention he received bc it used to be mine) he was my lil buddy and I would have done anything for him. I was looking forward to taking my senior and graduation pictures with him soon, but it seems like that won’t be happening. I just wish I did more with him.

Sorry for rambling and being so depressing! I haven’t gotten much sleep over the past two nights so I’m really out of it.

If it’s not too much to ask for, could I have a part ii of my previous request but have it involving what I wrote above? Asdfghjkl my depressed ass needs comfort and all of my friends are in school LOL. (Thank god I was called off from school this time) Plus, I don’t wanna make my mom feel worse by adding my grief on top of her own (I hope that made sense)

Part 1

(A/N): anon, I’m so sorry to hear about your dog. From what you sent me about him, he sounded like an absolute delight to be around and a very good boy. You deserve to grieve too, even if you don’t think you should. Grieving is healthy and it’s something that shouldn’t be ignored. Everyone grieves differently, so maybe you and your mom could reminisce on the good times with him? Only if you both feel comfortable doing so of course. Please get some sleep, drink plenty of water, and eat some food if you haven’t already. My DMs are always open if you ever want to talk <3

Warnings: death of a dog and bird (mentioned), panic attacks, NPD parent mention

You were jolted awake by a loud ring from your phone laying on your nightstand. It was the ringtone you specifically set for your mom. Blinking deliriously, you answered with a raspy, “mom?”

You were only met with her choked sobs on the other end. This woke you up completely as you turned on a lamp and sat up fully in your bed, “mom what’s wrong?”

“(Dog name)...” She was unable to say your dog's name before she broke into more harsh sobbing. Worry and fear pricked your gut at the mention of your dog’s name. “What about (dog name)? What’s going on?”

“He d-died, (y/n). He isn’t suffering anymore.” You felt as if ice cold water was poured onto you as you sat staring at the wall in shock. Faintly you heard your mom telling you how it happened, but you didn’t register her words. The words that came out of your mother’s mouth were nearly incomprehensible anyways due to her distress. You didn’t know when she hung up, but the next time you looked at the phone screen your homescreen met you: a picture of you, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy at an amusement park. 

Your panic attack had escalated to you dry heaving over the toilet after puking up your dinner. You felt like you were suffocating as you remembered the techniques Techno used a few days prior. You stumbled up from a crouch and scrambled over to the sink. Your hands could barely grab the faucet and turn it on as you lost most of your sense of spatial awareness and everything you touched felt distant, like every single synapse in your body was both simultaneously working in overdrive and failing at the same time. The water was as cold as it was going to get, so you plunged your hands into the liquid and felt your body jolt at the temperature. After a while, your hands turned numb after regaining some senses back so you shakily cupped your hands under the faucet and gathered water into your hands. You splashed it at your face and felt yourself becoming more grounded as time passed.

By the time you left the bathroom, your dad gathered you into the car and started to drive you to the emergency vet. The entire time he was ranting about how you needed to pull yourself together because the dog was closer to him than to you. That definitely did not help in any way, it made you want to jump out of the car and walk the rest of the way to the vet. It would be better than having someone constantly belittling you for grieving. The ride was hell, but you persevered for (dog name). You needed to say goodbye to him.

When you left the car and walked into the building, it felt as if you were walking through the nine rings of hell with blazing infernos licking at your skin with every step. Dread and despair filled and overwhelmed you with every step. 

When a nurse escorted you to the room, she offered you her condolences and left you to say goodbye. With wide eyes, you slowly walked over to your mom and saw the motionless bundle of fur in her hands. It looked like he was sleeping, but you knew better. She looked at you with so much heartbreak and sadness as tears slipped down her cheeks that you remembered that he was her dog in the end and they’ve always had an unbreakable bond. You needed to be strong for her.

Your stony facade broke the second your mom handed you (dog name). He was cold and stiff as he laid unmoving in your arms, not even trying to wiggle out of your embrace like he always did. You were never his favorite person. He felt so… different. So wrong. 

Time passed around you as you held him and cried into his fur. This situation was very similar to your previous one that happened about a year and a half ago when your bird passed away and that was what finally sent you over the edge. Before you knew it, your mom was dragging you out of the building so he could get cremated. Your dad had long since gone home so he could get ready for work, so that left you to ride home with your mom. Not that you were complaining, it was certainly better than riding home with your dad. You just wished that you could drive so she could get some rest. 

By time you got home, it was about the same time you would leave for school. As you were driving down your neighborhood, you saw a very familiar car pass you. It was Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy’s car. They were probably going to school. You kept your head down and stared intensely at your tightly clasped hands. 

The second the car was in park in your driveway, you made a beeline for your room. For the rest of the day, you hid underneath your covers and ignored the incessant buzzing of your phone on the nightstand. You spent that time alone having a panic attack. This was your longest and most intense one yet, by the time it finally calmed down it was 10:30 at night. 

You smacked your dry lips together and feel absolutely drained. The buzzing still wouldn’t let up, so you reached out with a shaky hand and opened your phone. You had at least eighty combined missed texts from Wilbur, Tommy, and Techno. 

Tuesday, Innit?

Yo, the fuck’s goin on? 

Why the hell did you ignore us when we passed you???

Music man take me by the hand lead me to the land

Ignore that dumbass

What’s going on? You weren’t at school today

(Y/n)?

Technology Sword

You don’t have to tell us what happened if you’re not comfortable

Just tell us if you’re okay

That was only the start of the messages in the group chat. Granted it was mostly Tommy spamming your name and Wilbur and Techno trying to get him to chill out, but some of the messages managed to calm the swirling panic inside of you slightly. Your phone buzzed as you got another text. This time, it was an individual one from Technoblade.

Technology Sword

Look out your window, grab your notebook

You raised your eyebrows slightly as you read the message. Your window was right across from Technoblade’s, so when you saw Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me” music video and showed it to Techno, you both decided that this would be your primary communication before you eventually got phones. It wasted a ton of paper, but you both felt like the main characters in a story so you kept doing it. You hadn’t done this since you got your phone and he got his. 

After you grabbed your spare notebook and a sharpie, you sat up in your bed and turned on your lamp. When you opened your curtains, you saw Techno smiling at you before he grabbed his notebook and wrote ‘hello’. 

You uncapped your marker, wrote ‘hi’, and shakily raised it to him. You saw him frown at your shakiness, he wrote ‘you okay?’

You stared at your paper for a bit contemplating whether or not you should tell him the truth. It was no use in lying to him, he knew you better than you knew yourself. After a moment, you wrote ‘no’.

You watched as he frowned and his eyebrows crinkled together in an upwards slant. ‘Discord?’

‘Sure’

You closed your curtains once more and opened up your PC. You could already see that Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy were in a separate voice channel. When you joined, you were startled by Tommy’s loud screaming and Wilbur’s hysterical laughter. 

“WILBUR YOU PRICK WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT I WORKED SO HARD GETTING THAT NETHERITE!” 

They were interrupted by a knock on Tommy’s door, “Tommy for the love of god it’s almost eleven at night kiddo. You can keep playing but please just keep it down.”

“SORRY DADZA!”

“Good job dumbass,” Wilbur chuckled.

“Hey (y/n), how’re you?” Techno’s somewhat pointed voice interrupted them. “(Y/N)! Please tell Wilbur that it’s not cool to borrow my armor and ‘accidentally’ fall into a lava lake.”

“It was an accident I swear!” Wilbur’s slight chuckle told you otherwise. “Wilbur,” your croaky and wobbly voice scolded him quietly, “not cool.”

The voice channel went silent as you logged into your shared minecraft server. You immediately spawned in the main lobby at spawn that you built the last time you logged in. You got to work gathering wood for walls you were going to build around the city. You saw Techno’s character run to you and help you gather wood. 

“...You good, (y/n)?” Tommy’s voice took on an uncharacteristic level of gentleness and concern. 

“‘M fine.” 

After a while of silence, you heard keyboards start to click again. Gradually conversation started back up and everything felt lighthearted once more. Though, you only talked when you were prompted to. After gathering the correct amount of wood, you and Techno went back to your house so you could craft some slabs. However as you approached the crafting table, you passed your bed. Next to your bed was your pet dog, barking slightly and looking at you with it’s pixel eyes. 

You could feel tears well up in your eyes at the sight of the pixelated dog. With a lump forming in your throat you struggled to breathe through it, your breaths coming out shuttering. You made quick work of muting yourself on Discord and started sobbing, the white dog staring at you sitting on top of your minecraft bed. This wasn’t a panic attack, you knew that. But you still felt overcome by a massive wave of grief. 

After a bit, you saw Techno’s character pop in front of you and start hitting the air. In chat, you saw that he private messaged you ‘vc 2’

You clicked off the main voice chat and was immediately greeted by Techno’s gentle voice. “What’s goin on buddy?” He was only met with your sobs, “deep breaths.”

“I’m not having a panic attack.”

“Still, deep breaths are good. Follow me.” With that, you two worked on getting your breathing back to normal and your tears slowly stopped. The entire time he was giving you praise and gentle reassurances whenever you tried to apologize to him. By the time you stopped crying you felt almost completely drained. 

“You okay now?” You hummed in confirmation, too tired to say anything. “Thank you Tech, I-I’m sorry-”

“Stop apologizing for feeling emotions. They’re one hundred percent valid… Do you feel comfortable telling me what happened?”

“I…” You trailed off as you couldn’t bring yourself to say the words out loud. “You don’t have to tell me, ya know.” Technoblade gently reminded you.

“I’ll PM it to you.” With that, you PMed him on minecraft explaining that your dog died this morning. “Fuck, I’m so sorry (y/n). I’m sure he isn’t suffering anymore. Did- did they ever find out what caused the seizures?”

“No, but… he had tons of health issues that I’m glad he doesn’t have to deal with anymore.” 

“Do you wanna talk about the good times with him with Wil and Tommy? If you don’t want to we can just talk about them here.”

“Let’s rejoin the main voice channel.”

“Hey (y/n), how’re you doing?” Wilbur gently asked you. “I’m alright, do- do you guys know what happened?” They both said yes. Technoblade must’ve told them what was happening.

“(Y/n) come outside. We built something for you.” Tommy was uncharastically gentle. 

When you moved to go outside of your minecraft house and Wilbur and Tommy led you to an empty spot in the city you four were building, you stopped in your tracks. In front of you built in various types of stone was a dog statue. In front of it stood a sign that read ‘in loving memory of (dog name)’.

“We aren’t done with it, but we can finish it in a couple of hours,” Wilbur mumbled into the microphone. 

“No, it’s perfect as it is. I don’t know what to say guys…”

“You don’t have to say anything, just know that we’re here for you.” Tommy said, his minecraft character walking over to your own and hitting you. 

“Oi, don’t hit them!” Techno punched him back and that started an all out brawl between the two. It quickly ended when Techno pulled out his fully enchanted netherite sword named ‘Orphan Obliterator’. 

“Get fucked, nerd.” You could just tell Tommy was holding in screaming at his brother. “I’m not the nerd here, you’re the one that reads for fun.” Tommy retorted. You heard shuffling on Techno’s end and him walking away from his PC. You were about to ask what was happening before you heard Tommy silently scream in terror. “Oh fuck he’s coming!” You assumed that Tommy ran to lock his door. Not long after that you heard a knock, “I just wanna talk.”

“No! You-”

“I just wanna talk.”

“Let him talk, Tommy!”

“NO WILBUR.”

You heard Philza’s groggy muffled voice, “it is midnight on a Friday. I don’t care what happens or who fights who, just do it in your own rooms and do it quietly.” 

“Sorry Dad,” you heard Techno’s retreating steps before he returned to his chair. “You’re a douche, Technoblade.” 

“I just wanted to talk, Tommy.” At that, Techno started beating Tommy to death once more. Each time he would kill Tommy, he would give Tommy a small head start before he would find him again. While this was happening, Wilbur PMed you ‘wanna prank Tommy and Techno? I’m thinking we put chickens under their houses’.

You looked at his player and nodded. You and Wilbur got to work luring chickens into holes you dug around their bases and burying them so that they were close enough to hear, but deep enough for it to be mildly inconvenient finding them. After you two were done with that, you met at spawn again.

“Techno stop killing Tommy. We want to tell stories about (dog name).” You saw Techno’s character sprint to your group and Tommy’s come up from a hole in the ground. “I was just about to find him.”

“Thank you! God, I hate it when he does that.”

The rest of the night you four spent reminiscing on the funny things that (dog name) did over the years. At some points you even laughed along with them. After you told them that you wanted to take your senior pictures with him, Techno offered to edit him into your photos. You didn’t know when you passed out but when you woke up, you had a crick in your neck and your PC monitor was off. You could hear three sets of soft snoring on the other end of the call. You felt yourself drifting off to their gentle breathing and smiled slightly; with them, everything felt better. 

#sbi x reader #sleepy bois x reader #sleepy bois inc x reader #technoblade x reader #wilbur soot x reader #tommyinnit x reader #mcyt x reader #dream smp x reader #sbi family au #requests #hellion's requests #tw: panic attack #tw: anxiety #tw: animal death #tw: animal injury #tw: swearing