#life has been killing me soooooooooooo

[annom-alley]

#annom alley #annom alley comic #annomalleycomic #life has been killing me soooooooooooo #wahooo wahey #btw to be clear this is like one of those inbetween stuff images #cause there may or may not be new chapter ahoy soonish and i need time to actually kinda maybe plan out pages

[thatbigbisexual29]

Getting Pushed Off the High Horse (Haikyuu!!)

Soooooooooooo... hi everyone! It's been a while since I've posted a fic, and I deeply apologize! Life has been busy so hoping on the computer and writing is kind of a hard task, I'm sure some of you can relate. And don't worry, I'm still working on that lee!Hobie fic, but after that's posted I might stop with the Spiderverse fics for a while. I still love the movies, but I've ran out of tickle fic content for that certain fandom. So I'll try posting something new! Hence this fic! I've been a fan of Haikyuu for a while and started watching it again *shoves down at least 50 animes I've been putting on the back burner* Okok I've been rambling now, so here you go! Enjoy! :3

“Hell yeah! That spike was even better than my last one! Eat my dust Akaashi! Woo!” was what Bokuto was currently shouting at his teammate.

It was very uncaptain-like, but his friends knew him well to know that this was a common occurrence. Whenever the team practiced together, Bokuto’s gloating personality shone. Akaashi didn’t mind the showboating, he honestly didn't. But today was not the day.

First, he woke up 30 minutes late to school, had to make up an exam in his first period, spilled his lunch all over himself, read a passage wrong in his English class and got laughed at, found out he failed that first period exam, got a C on another exam, got fussed at for sleeping in class, and accidentally packed his dirty uniform rather than a clean one for practice, so he stunk really bad. Out of all the days the gods wanted to test him, this was the day. And Bokuto was no help. In fact, he was the one that caused Akaashi to spill his lunch. He apologized… but not after he cackled like a lunatic! He even threatened to make ‘soup crotch’ his new nickname. A ‘don’t you fucking dare’ look ended that threat quick and Bokuto even offered some clean clothes he had. Which was surprising since… well, since it’s Bokuto. 

And now, after that extra mean spike Bokuto just served, Akaashi’s anger was near its boiling point. He glared at his captain from the other side of the next, wanting so badly to wipe that smug smirk off of his stupid face. Bokuto caught on and had some shit to talk.

“Oooh, is someone mad he can’t block my spikes? You should have gotten used to it by now~ Isn't losing to me your strong point? Since you’ve been losing to me ever since we met, I thought you would have rolled over and accepted your fate already~” Bokuto purred, snickering when Akaashi’s glare grew sour. The ravenette responded with a quick, “Shut up, owl.”

“Don’t let him get in your head!” Konoha shouted. Akaashi shook his head and tried to focus. But today’s events just kept piling up every time he looked at Bokuto’s stupid, annoying face. He took a deep breath in and exhaled in an attempt to calm himself. As soon as these practices were over, he could go home. He just wanted to go home.

Washio served the ball and the game was in motion. After the back and forth tosses, Bokuto took his stand.

“Pass it to me!” he called. Akaashi kept eyes on his friend, watching the ball spin in the air towards him. He watched as the ace readied himself then ran to the net, Akaashi right in front of him. They jumped at the same time, Akaashi ready to block. Bokuto had a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, one his best friend could spot a mile away. Then, there was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

“Take THIS, soup crotch!!!” Bokuto’s scream echoed across the gym as the sound of the ball slamming on the court followed suit. When they landed, Akaashi struck. He immediately ducked under the net and tackled the older boy to the court. Surprised, Bokuto let out an undignified squeal before bursting into maniacal laughter. He guarded his head as Akaashi attempted to collide his fists to the other’s shitty hair. He wasn’t trying to seriously injure, he would never go that far, but a few bruises wouldn’t kill the ace.

“I! Told! You! To! Shut! Up!” Akaashi growled between blocked hits. Bokuto just laughed and laughed as he grabbed Akaashi’s wrists and held them up.

“Hahaha! Looks like soup crotch can’t take the teeeasiiiing~” Bokuto just had to keep it up. Akaashi’s eyes burned bright with a murderous fire. Without knowing what else to do, Akaashi ripped his arms from Bokuto’s grip and shoved them into his armpits. That probably wasn’t the best idea since his pits were extremely sweaty, and because Bokuto decided to show everyone his best rodeo bull impression.

Bokuto proceeded to shoot his arms to his sides and hug his chest, cackling hysterically as his friend attacked a particularly bad spot. Their teammates watched on with exasperated yet understanding smiles. And plus, they didn’t dare intervene. Not when Akaashi’s face looked like he was happily skinning his prey alive.

“Yeah, yeah! Nothin’ to say now, huh? Huh? You were all big talk not one second ago, where did that talk go? Where did it go Bokuto?! You shut up real quick when someone gets a few tickles in, don’tcha? Come on, tease me again! One more jab, one more mock, one more word I dare you!” Akaashi bellowed with a sadistic smile on his face. Bokuto howled with mirth as he rocked side to side, kicking his feet to try and lessen the tickly feeling somehow.

“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! A-AKAASHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI! NAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA! EHEEHEEHEE- GAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!” screamed Bokuto. He could never handle tickles well, his friends knew this. Even a squeeze to his side would send him through the roof. But this was plain ol’ mean. Akaashi knew his weak spots better than anyone, and how to tickle just right so Bokuto ends up crying.

“Oh nuh-uh! You deserve this, you bastard! How are you able to read the court, but not your friend?! Why do you have to be so. Damn. Annoying?!” Akaashi growled as he now focused on Bokuto’s ribs, alternating between his massaging technique and his clawing technique. The poor ace finally managed to roll onto his stomach, but somehow, not being able to block out the tickles from behind made him even more ticklish. 

“REEHEEHEEHEEEEE!! AKA-AKAAHAHAHAHAHAHASHI! SAHAHAHAHAHAHAHARRY! I’M SAHAHAHAHAHAHAHARRY!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IT'S JUST- BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IT’S SOHOHOHOHOHOHO EHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEASYYYYY! REEEEEEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEEEE!” Bokuto cried. He attempted to crawl away, but Akaashi kept him down by laying his shin over the small of his back. The rest of the Fukurodani team, who decided to take a water break since this might take a minute, laughed from the sidelines.

“Oh my god, he sounds like Scooby Doo!” One of them remarked. The others cracked up even louder, joined their voices with Bokuto’s in the echoing gym. Akaashi himself couldn’t stop himself from smiling earnestly either. Bokuto was a dummy, that fact wasn’t to be argued with. But at least he was a loveable dummy. Even when he’s more aggravating than sin. All the teases and jabs he made to Akaashi were all friendly. He didn’t have a sinister bone in his body. He probably thought that he was cheering up the setter, so no harm was truly intended. Such a moron, Akaashi thought to himself.

“Apologize! Or else!” Akaashi demanded, pausing the tickling and placing his hand on the back of Bokuto’s thigh. Bokuto flipped himself on his back with a panicked scream.

“I’M SORRY!!!! I’m sorry for calling you soup crotch! And for making you spill the soup! And for hitting those nasty spikes! Please please please please have mercy Akaashi!” Bokuto begged. Akaashi smirked and stood up, putting his hands on his hips.

“That’s right dumbass. Learn to cheer your friend up in different ways.” Akaashi was about to walk away when he felt Bokuto’s weak hand clasp his shorts. The ace panted heavily and gulped a few times, wanting to say something but unable to get it out just yet. Akaashi rolled his eyes fondly and waited.

“Aka- *gulp* Akaashi… *pant pant pant* Let’s stop by a store… *pant pant* and get… *gulp* meat buns? I’ll *pant* pay…!” Bokuto asked. The setter looked at him surprised, then smiled and nodded.

“That’s fine with me. Now get up and drink something before you pass out.” He pulled the ace to his feet and pushed him towards the bench. After practice, Bokuto kept to his word and bought them each five meat buns from a local convenience store. Akaashi didn’t need that much, but it was the thought that counts. He reflected back on today while walking home with Bokuto, who wouldn’t stop talking, and smiled. Eh, today wasn’t so bad, he thought. 

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu #bokuto koutarou #akaashi keiji #haikyuu akaashi #haikyuu bokuto #tickle fic #bokuto #akaashi #tickle community #haikyuu tickle #sfw tickles #sfw tickle community #sfw tickle fic

[ahaura]

yellowjackets s2e9 lb

"the wilderness chose" I DONT THINK IT DID BUT OK!!!!

I RECOGNIZE THOSE CHORDS? GUITAR? HELLOOOOOOOO ITS BEEN YEARS

ZOMBIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

ok but like. the wilderness"" might have gotten into them but they CHOSE to do it that way like they CHOSE to let javi drown/freeze to death i think thats more them devolving into "survival on the only way know how to justify it to themselves" mode

also how insane is it that they were all willing to eat natalie 10 minutes ago and theyve all been starving and just like that your team turns on you bec "the wilderness chose' thats nuts

"give it a hunt" is this when my girl lisa dies. i will beat up misty for lisa idc

i dont mean to get personal on main but lottie's desperation...for lack of a better word... reminds me of me when i **** ** **** ***** and at that time i was just. so desperate to believe in [redacted] i was DESPERATE i was so far down i was just clawing at the pit walls like. god.

"make sure none of your people are here for this" NOOOOOO LISA

"we got over it" LIIIIIIIIIIIES

"i didnt want this" "you started this" LETSGOOOOOOO

oh this is so fucked

shauna butchered them... alone... it was her duty.... no wonder shes so fucked up

WALTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

SO GOOD TO SEE HIM

jeff.... the cops.... bleh

NATALIE TRYING TO SAVE LISA BUT WE KNOW HOW THIS GOES

"youre not like them" "im worse" OH NAT NO NO NO NO NO

"im glad im alive" van says to travis whose brother just died because the team is starving and it was supposed to be natalie but misty saved her so javi died in his place and theyre going to eat javi and travis will have to eat his brother to survive. insane people.

"let your brother save you, travis. after everything he went through out here. dont you at least owe him that?" INSANE INSANE INSANE INSANE INSANE INSANE FUCKING THING TO SAY VAN HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT FUCKING CRAZY

walter i likeyou so much please stick around 4 life youre so funny

"youre being awfully judgy about mom considering this all started because of your lame attempt at blackmail" CALLIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LETS FUCKING GO

i feel so bad for her. her parents suck so fucking bad her mom is fucked up and withheld love from her and doesnt love her like her dead baby brother and her dad is a pathetic dude who is like, trying his best but hes just sO pathetic and not even in a fun way. he has the spirit tho. shes gonna be sSOOOOO fucked up when shes grown up

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH WALTER YOU LEGEND

walter and misty match made in heaven TBH

OH GOD

JAVI'S LITERAL HEART? OH GOD

is that... buffy sainte marie singing?

I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I CALLED IT KNEW IT LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOO

OH MY GOD? MAYBE CALLIE?

CALLIE OR LISA WHICH IS IT

LET THE COP DIE IN THEIR PLACE DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT

jesus christ

they really never left huh

WALTER TALTERSAL YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING PSYCHO YOU ARE SO MUCH FUN

walter fucking over this smarmy little shit cop is SOOOOOOOOOOOO fun

oh my god lottie

the wilderness left lottie...?

NATALIE????????

IS NATALIE THE ANTLER QUEEN

OH MY GOD THAT INSANE

I LOVE IT

HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

what is a god to a nonbeliever etc etc oh my GOD NATALIEEEEEE

"you were always its favorite" OH MY GOD???????????/

LISAAAAAAAA MY GIRL LISA LISA LISA LISA

"we tried to kill you and it wouldn't let us"

INSANE INSANE INSANE INSANE INSANE

THE ATHEIST WHO MEETS GOD THE NONBELIEVER THE TRUE RELUCTANT SAINT THE UNWILLING APOSTLE ET CETERA LETS FUCKINGGOOOOOOO?

lottie kissing natalie's hand is insane im goi g insane INSANE INSANE INSANE INSANE

the girls allow javi to die in nat's place (or the wilderness kill him in nat's place) > shauna offers travis javi's heart to eat as first dibs in honor/waiting for permission > travis eats his brother's heart > natalie is named lottie's successor as the unwilling apostle the reluctant saint the cursed etc etc > travis places her hand on his heart

NAT BEING "CHOSEN" ALL THOSE YEARS AGO

NAT THROWING HERSELF IN FRONT OF SOMEONE WHO GAVE HER FORGIVENESS TO SAVE LISA

aaaaaand radiohead to send us off eh?

NAT IS DYING OH GOD

nat :(

WHAT DO YOU EAN WE'LL SEE?

CALLIE???????

COACH TRIED TO BURN THEM ALIVE?

OH I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO HIS DEMISE

#📺 lb

[tailoredshirt]

you mentioned you don't have any anon asks rn so here i am! :D how do you feel after this ep? i've seen ppl saying that looking back at tarlos' scenes from the previous eps might've been tainted by this – him harbouring this big of a secret to his literal fiancé, of all ppl – and i do get where they're coming from too :(

also, i'm soooOOooOOooO annoyed that tk just brushed it off like that 😭😭 for someone who has been so heavily affected by a) being cheated on (although imo this marriage is more of a desperate need to belong/be loved, knowing that there was no way he'd ever find oor marry the love of his life, and then afterwards, more out of necessity for the health insurance aspect of things) so i don't really count this as cheating, but i understand ppl have diff definitions of it), and constantly having ppl he loved and cared about (re: owen and gwyn) keeping (big, life-changing) secrets from him, i'm trying to make peace with the fact we didn't get more out of that scene. although, i do hope that his need to console and support carlos at that time far outweighs his need to process the news, so that has taken backseat for the time and would probably resurface as we progress further along in the story.

so far, i don't trust anyone or anything that has been said from the actors and writers of the show, so i literally just will be going into the upcoming eps with zero expectations.

Hello!! <3

I pretty much agree with everything you said, I think? I've got a lot of conflicting thoughts that are living side-by-side right now. Like...how I feel about this situation vs. how I feel about it as a plotline vs. how I will treat it going forward. If this was real life, I would agree that it taints their relationship (and that I'd be dumping his ass), but as a plot device I don't find this secret as difficult to reconcile as I would if one of them slept with someone else or had some kind of emotional infidelity. This falls more into 'huge breach of trust' territory than cheating to me, but ymmv.

I think I'm glad for my own tender Tarlos feelings that TK mostly accepted it, because it makes it easier to kinda mentally skip past it if they're not showing a bunch of angst between TK and Carlos onscreen, but like you I do hate how it feels like the narrative is brushing it away (even if I am simultaneously happy that they're doing it??). I dislike the sloppy execution, although there are aspects of the storyline I honestly don't hate? Carlos being married to Iris for the reasons discussed is actually giving me a ton of feelings, and would probably be giving me more if they'd laid a better foundation for their friendship in previous seasons. I keep imagining them as "lost", lonely teenagers and it kills me. Even if I gloss over most of this plotline moving forward, I will take that with me.

But yes, I am hoping they at least acknowledge that Carlos fucked up by not telling TK much sooner! Until then I just imagine that TK's angry/sad reaction is delayed. The spoilers say it will affect them throughout the season, and it would make sense if TK's feelings over Carlos's lack of communication was part of it. They can't go into marriage if Carlos is going to make decisions for them and/or withhold huge things he'd prefer to avoid.

(And yeah, TK having been cheated on and people keeping things from him makes me hugely sad for him. Like...he found the love of his life! This man who kept proving time and again that he loves TK and will be there for him in ways other people haven't. And then...... PSYCH. That's so traumatizing.)

Zero expectations is the way to do it lol. I was driving myself out of my mind with anxiety before the episode aired, and I can't sustain that all season. It's why I'm trying to just go with the flow as much as possible. I am not telling anyone else how to feel. I've dropped shows for doing things I hated. I'm just not at that point with LS and don't want to be.

#I started making notes for a fic but I honestly don't want to write a 'fix-it' conversation for them #I want to write.....other stuff #911 lone star spoilers #sorry for putting more discourse in the tag

[lycan-bytez-genuine-corner]

Random rambling on white in a bio description

[I don’t think I use Tumblr right but I’m just going to do basically a diary entry to myself but I’m going to post it online like a moron instead]

So a few days ago I read a post that I didn’t agree with on any level, with the TL;DR being that minorities are being forced to shoehorn in their race / identities into their bios which is just not true. The main reason I don’t think that is true is that people actively like to put identifiable information, willingly, into their bios especially when it can mean finding a community that is similar to you, for safety, community, and what not I don’t think it’s a force, and I really didn’t agree with the idea that their info undermines any work they post ala Art, Writing, etc. People LIKE labels that they can apply to themselves and to things and even, including when it’s wrong, to others. It gives us a sense of self as people and that’s [Usually] a good thing, it just starts to become wrong when that is no longer a thing for individuals to decide and especially wrong when it’s a large group applying a label to a smaller group by force. Putting that info doesn’t demean you, or your work, or your person, if anything it’s kind of you and brave of you to put that out there for strangers to know.

The main thing that’s stuck with me is moreso why I don’t put say white into my bio because I’m a white gay 25 year old cis man, and I think it has a lot to do with that just looking innately bad to me. I’ve never interacted with someone in a positive sense who ever mentioned that they’re white as a pride thing or put any value into being white in person, and online I think it looks even worse with the rise of antisemitism among whites and the obvious White Supremacy movements. The OP would argue that I don’t do it cause I feel like my race is “Default” when in reality I don’t do it because there’s basically nothing to be proud of in being white or identifying as white. My life long friend who is now happily married and has a kid placed a lot of value in his Meximerican upbringing [His own wording] and told a lot of fun stories based on his family culture, but for me the only love I have for my family tree is in my immediate circle, so mother - father and that’s it. There’s nothing prideful to my racial identity at all or even worth talking about in a positive manner. Like yaaaay I’m the same race as Christopher Columbus, a mad mass murderer who invaded indigenous lands and pillaged them for any and all valuables while killing every single person who didn’t lay down and die that’s soooooooooooo wonderful, or yaaaaaay, I’m the same race as a bunch of puritans who forced their way onto a different country, genocided all the people there causing the long, incredibly violent and racist history of the US, wooooooooooooot......

Obviously I know I can be wrong to an extreme degree, but I really don’t think I’m wrong on this bit when it comes to myself. To me putting the label of “white” on yourself is pretty close to putting “I’m a giant asshole” in bold on your forehead. That’s not universally true obviously, but it definitely doesn’t fill me with confidence. I don’t have the same view when it comes to putting a cultural identity up there, like if you’re Chinese or Irish or German or Spanish that’s all well and good, it’s just the specific use of “white” that tends to bother me. Maybe I haven’t been exposed to the right person, but it’s probably the last piece of info I’d ever want on someone online and in IRL if I hear you mention the words “Pride” and “white” in the same sentence I don’t think I’ll text you back ever. To me there’s an incredibly different context between putting “Black” or “POC” and whatnot on your bio and putting “white” on there.

... This is one of those posts that in 5 years someone will bring it back up to me with it being potentially problematic and I’ll implode right?

[pricetagofficial]

Listening to Softcore by The Neighbourhood and I can't help but think of a relationship with a civilian and a vigilante and they're trying to make it work but it just doesn't.. give it a listen to see what I mean.

Soooooooooooo I feel like a terrible person. This has been in my inbox for months bow and I just now finally fucking listened to the song. 🤦‍♀️

But I totally see what you mean, this screams Dick to me more than anyone because he has had problems in the past with being Nightwing and keeping a relationship with them.

Especially the line that says "are we too young for this" because a line that I see related to Dick is "forever young" because that's who he is. Along with "I'm on the run and you're home alone, I'm consumed with my own life." This line screamed Dick at me along with Jason tbh

But Dick is very work driven at times and his SO finally getting tired of being alone just gets up and leaves because they feel that they come second to Nightwing.

"Sharing my heart, it'd tearing me apart" this goes with the idea that Dick wants to be loved and cherished but its hurting them both. Going with the next few lines "But I know I'd miss you baby, if I left right now. Doing what I can to be a man. And every time I kiss you baby, I can hear the sound of breaking down." This all goes with the idea you mentioned of them trying to work it out but deep down they know its not and they can feel it killing then but cant.

"I've been confused as of late (Yeah), Watching my youth slip away (Yeah), You're like the sun, you wake me up, But you drain me out if I get too much" This goes back to the whole Dick being young but mentally older than he is because of the life he lived. His SO is the light of his life but the relationship is draining the life out of them.

"I don't want to play this part, But I do, all for you, I don't want to make this hard, I might need you or I'll break." Dick just wants to keep them safe and Nightwing is the best way, but he doesn't want to. All he wants is to be able to love his SO without the weight bearing down on him and them, seeking the support from them or he "might break"

This was only three listens to the song. I don't think you expected a whole ass dissection of the song but you are totally right.

#pricetagofficial asks #dick grayson headcannon #nightwing headcanon #softcore the neighbourhood #dc comics

[plainvanillapotato]

the 100 diaries S2 E11

 quarantine diaries: may 30 2020

season 2 episode 11: “Coup de Grace”

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON.  BELLAMY??! WOAH what did they put down bellamy’s throat

they really took Monty my favorite character. keep fucking hell man.

When maya tells you act fine when you’re not fine. Cue the Katy perry audio

I’m also going to note that i never thought that jasper the boy that was speared on day one would out live finn. but here we are.

that looks like dirty water. youre not supposed to drink pond water Abby.

octavia. Damn ok. But for some reason i just don’t find this character development to be that realistic. Like one minute she’s this damsel constantly in distress and now she’s supposed to be this badass warrior???

who are these mountain men? Jason borne?

only bellamy could look this good in tighty whities

that girl spit in my bois face. No.

yes jasper. confront dante. woah that escalted quickly. that sword tho. woah grandpas got them moves. jasper did a single tear wow the acting skills.

im on indras side on this one. Kill him. Kill him now.

im sorry but lets get back to the fact that the mountain men looked at prettyboy bellamy and said harvest. i think the real plot hole is that the mountain people think that bellamy is just for harvesting?! this is how i know the writers of the 100 are testing me because i know my boy is too fine to just harvest for blood.

soooooooooooo the writers are telling me that the mountain people looked this guy:

THIS GUY

AND THEY SAID HARVEST??

not to mention they did so while he was shirtless. and im just appalled by the utter disrespect

Honest to god waht?! some say too hot to handle i say too hot to harvest.

i swear this is the biggest plot hole i have ever seen in my life

i get that the sorting process is not a beauty pageant and that the only other option is the cerberus thing that would only lead him to become a reaper. but no one can look at bellamy and just think that hes only good as a human blood bag. abolutely not

wow they really had maya find bellamy. fine maya fine. i didnt like you at first but here you are moving up

“what so special about him but hes dead” i found this comical for some reason and idk why.

this fight with bellamy and the guard is really brutal....mark me down for both scared and horny

wow they just a radiation free zone so fast. thats a little convient too for me.

Kane trying to comfort Abby about Clarke...abby and kane. ship??

bellamy playing a guard again?? Ok full circle.

Maya said ‘I’m in’.....maya and bellamy. Ship??? She be like ‘jasper who? Bellamy is the sky person for me!!’

lovejoy how ironic

now bellamy just looks like a skater in that hat. who did costuming? literally the boy looks like sean malto!!!

‘I’ll come back for you”...bellamy and the grounder girl? Ship?

jasper coming to save monty!!! i was so worried!! that hug. the bromance is very much alive!!

dante said watch me bitch to dr. Tsing. Dante really being an unexpected ally. I really though he was going to be a bad guy. Bitch had me fooled

hey abby dont think about it too much. Think about it more like nature coming to claim the weak.

So this elevator scene. I cant believed that really worked. But i guess maya is just that trustworth. Little do these mountain men know

Ofc the son becomes the usurper

yes clarke. kill him. Kill him now. Make him pay for Monty.

This would have been a good time to bring up your father Clarke. Like you could have been remember mom when you killed dad and when you sent me to die on earth. 👀

Bellamy is giving zuko vibes with that black eye

ofc its lovejoys son. ofc....that’s rough buddy

monty and jasper taking on the parental roles. I Stan.

you tell her raven. But also what clarkes job??? honestly!!! what is it??

ofc its clarke is the one to pick up on bellamy. “mayas with you?” is clarke jealous?? jk

im mean not getting killed is a big deal bellamy. the odds are against you.

what is this music?? it is not setting the right vibez

cage is reminding me of steve carell in the office. best boss mug. that mug cut was goooood. it was so clean. My favorite transition so far. But also Monty handing Harper that mug while holding her hand....ship???

yes clarke take matters into your own hands. she said fuck you mom. she said “you main be the chancellor but im in charge” (36:40) clarke has BIG DICK ENERGY. Jaha who clarke is the real moses. let our people go she said. But tbh I don’t trust clarke.

6 hours?! I would die.

why did the clarke say “if bellamy dies, we all die” with a smile. like she is literally smiling . what was the vibe the director trying to go for here?

#the 100 #the 100 diaries #bellamy #octavia #clarke #jasper #quarantine diaries #raven #monty #maya #abby #kane #sean malto #bellamy is too hot to harvest

[miraimisu]

— dear queen of hearts

Summary:

He's been left behind plenty of times. Okita knows what abandonment is like. He's had to watch the backs of everyone leaving him since he was very little.

He knows what loneliness can do to a person.

He doesn't want any of it to touch her.

Wordcount: 3,256k (im a disaster)

A/N:   SOOOOOOOOOOOO yesterday was a big of an oof day so I just sat down and wrote OkiKagu because it’s so weird I haven’t written a THING for a ship I’m so fond of? So there you go fellas. Have some Okikagu and suffer with me because GOD I love these two (they’re not like my supreme otp but I STILL LOVE THEM)

—

After years of living in the same place, with the same people and with the same traditions, Okita considers himself to be one of those boring people that do the same things over and over, with the exception that life in Edo simply never gets boring.

There's always a spark keeping the city alive that he can't deny: sometimes, there's a robber dressed in a bear onesie trying to rob a bank; sometimes, there's a secret candy-dealing mafia hiding in the shadows that they have to scout out; sometimes, he has to be a bodyguard for the Princess, somebody he has come to consider a resemblant of a sister; and, sometimes, the Yorozuya are somehow involved in all these incidents.

Those times are his excellent favorite, not because they're easy to deal with, but because it's always fun to go head to head with people he knows won't cause any major trouble– except for a certain redhead with a tendency to destroy anything around him to spite his existence.

That's always fun, having somebody torture him the same way he tortures her.

It's nice, it's fun, and he would be nowhere without sarcasm.

So, as always, Okita waits at the park for something to happen. He wonders if the Yorozuya will rush down the road in a carriage with vintage dresses, aiming a gun at him. He wonders if Katsura will slide down the avenue with his terrorist crew behind him. Maybe, out of the ordinary as it may seem, Kamui will jump down from the sky and try to behead him.

That would be nice.

Instead, what he gets is the familiar feeling of a metallic point pressed against the back of his neck.

"I could kill you if I wanted, uh-huh."

—

[Continue reading on AO3!]

#okikagu #okikagu fanfiction #wow imagine me writing for Okikagu finally #what a fucking timeline to live in am I right #anyway I'm back to my lonatrashcan bye uwuwuwwuw

[historyofshipping]

Bellarke meta that popped into my head (+ what I think it means for S6)

So I’m sure this has all been pointed out before butttttt it just occurred to me so enjoy. This is S5-S6 + S6 spec

So when Clarke was arrested, she knew the penalty was death and refused to implicate Bell. Instead, she asked him to care for the only other person in the world who mattered to her - Madi. She couldn’t risk Madi having no one to look after her if they were pitted against each other. 

She was ready and willing to die so that he didn’t have to. They could’ve fought to the death but she wasn’t going to put that on either of them. She knew she couldn’t kill him and she didn’t want him to live with her death on his conscious. 

NOT REALIZING OF COURSE THAT HE ALREADY DID FOR 6 YEARS... but I digress

So then, when he was going to put the flame in Madi anyway, she realized (incorrectly) that this person she was willing to die for, to leave her child with, without a second thought was going to betray her and put her daughter in danger. 

Meanwhile, Bellamy poisoned his sister - knowing that the punishment for that would be death. But his death was worth it if it meant Clarke got to live. 

“I can’t let you kill Clarke, O.” 

He had already been threatened with death several times for the smallest transgressions against O. Sure, maybe he could’ve gotten away with the poisoning but that assumes that either she never wakes up and/or that they won’t just put him to death on circumstantial evidence. 

So not only was he willing to risk his sister’s life, but he, like Clarke, was willing to give his own so that she could live. 

But Bell is still used to Clarke being the head so that when he put the flame in Madi, he hoped she would forgive him - or at least understand. Instead, she left him to die and slapped him for good measure - the only time she’s ever physically hurt him on purpose. 

So these two idiots oblivious people both think that the person that they’d give their lives in an instant for doesn’t give a **** about them anymore. 

Which is why when Madi tells him about the calls, everything clicks into place. She does care and always did. He knows that now which is why he’s now team defend Clarke and a soft Bellamy with her again.

And Echo knows how much Clarke cares because of their talk.

What we’re not sure of is whether Bell knows that Clarke spared Echo’s life for him and put her daughter in danger to save him. The one thing she never thought she’d do. [Just like he was willing to endanger O, the one thing we never thought he’d do.]

“Go save him.” Clarke to Echo. 

Him. Not them.

So now...B thinks he knows how deeply Clarke cares - or at least he’s pretty sure he does. And so does Echo. Clarke doesn’t know that B devoted his life to her memory nor does she know that he poisoned his sister for for her. Just like how Clarke was possibly sacrificing Madi to save B.

Yes, the human race may have been killed by extension but the primary objective was to save Clarke/Bellamy. Again:

“I can’t let you kill Clarke, O.”

“Go save him.”

NOW for the spec. We have a confused Bellamy who is still reeling from the last few weeks and a Clarke who is obv in love with B but thinks he’s moved on completely to Echo. Remember: to the characters, it’s only really been a few weeks since the ring came down. So B & C in the last few weeks have: found each other, endangered their adopted children for each other, left each other to die, forgave each other, and have just begun to come back together. 

So what do we still have left - “You called me every day for 2199 days and then you left me to die in the fighting pits.”

He’s still working through that contradiction because everything has been a whirlwind. 

PLUS Clarke likely now thinks that he doesn’t need her anymore because it just confirms what she already thought. 

AND BECAUSE THESE ****HEADS CAN’T TALK TO EACH OTHER LIKE NORMAL HUMANS, IT’S GOING TO COME OUT IN AN UNEXPECTED WAY. 

I don’t know how but it’s going to come to an emotional breaking point when Bell says that. Because he still doesn’t understand - not really. I mean on some level he does, but he’s having a damn hard time reconciling the fact that she deeply cares about him with the fact that she left him to die. Because it’s only been a few days and that’s a lot to ****ing process. 

And all the while, she doesn’t know what he did for her - almost sacrificed for her. 

Soooooooooooo yup. 

#bellarke #bellarke meta #the 100 meta #the 100 #clarke x bellamy

[determined-magi]

Soooooooooooo! Someone finally seems to have the message stuck, don't ya? Fucking finally, about time you began to see it, took you A WHILE. See? this is why we don't trust that bag of bones, that mage kid son of his too... likely that skeleton pretending to be a human as well, he also seems to be very shitty. Wouldn't you agree? You guys were pretty fine by yourselves.

NOT THE TIME.

Gilrin just had a breakdown, went off to drown her demons in liquor, passed out, throwed by the latrine, had Agar, AGAR, carry her out, sober and spend the whole day with her. You know how often that happens? How bad things must get for Gilrin to actually get herself drunk? You come into his room, and put damn salt in a wound already salted enough, and ignore her well being and suggest that?

OR THE DAMN FACT HIS BROTHER REALLY DID ADMIT HE WANTED TO GOD DAMN PULL NO MERCY ON HIS CIVILIANS REGARDLESS OF INNOCENCE?!

Oh, fuck it.

“ Yes, we were pretty fine by ourselves, you know what’s not fine? Entering a Judge’s damn quarters, try to have a rise out of them, and try to have them ruin their sister’s LIVE FURTHER, WHEN SHE HAS ALREADY BROKEN ENOUGH AS IT IS. “

He stands fingers curled tight as punches the table he was taking seat at, spilling ink over pages written as shoves the seat to the side. Breath heavy, rasped, somewhere between a growl and a pant. Oh they had been doing well alright, weren’t they? Just like he had moments ago, he was writting some nice letters there too! And look at what you just made him do? Do you know how annoying it is to raid convoys that have ink and paper? Let alone find them? A lot, that is the answer.

“ I would play off the Judge’s persona I often do at court, but I honestly give not a single fuck right now that you have pissed me off again, you caaaaaan’t help your self with having to come here and stirr shit up, do you not? Of course you can’t, you haaaave to get more of it… “  Where is it? Damn it, the sword will do then, really stupid decision, he should have one at any moment. Now, this is going to be a mess, but… perhaps if he heats the blade enough to burn the meat… Anyways. He quickly dashes towards the grey entity, giving a punch strong enough to break their balance, followed by getting his sword out, and cutting their head cleanly, the faint smell of burnt meat.  “ Well, fuck of indefinitively, stay dead, and rot in the soil, hopefully the world finds more purpose for you as a corpse than in this blight your life is. “

“ Fuck this, fuck them, fuck him, and fuck life, I’m done, thoroughly done. “

Is he going to regret this in a few ours? perhaps, likely whine to the other mages he did a stupid, when that’s the last thing he should do in these times… besides doing exactly what he tries to avoid in general, or hates doing and or seeing. God, it is faint, but the smell is horrible… that’s going to be hard to get rid off, lots of burnt aromatic leaves and cleaning on the floor…. but…

But then… why the fuck should he give a fuck? He’s not the good guy, and he’s going to kill hundreds if not thousands, whats a life more or less to it? Or some dirty, not like he’s going to have all of this as a constant soon enough…

Wouldn’t it be better to get used to it?

#mention #yettoberefuted #cosmosfated #voidedfate #|ic| #|just as the sentinel?| #|carpe fatum| #[ they dead jim #and hello unwelcome intrusive thoughts #right on time too!] #Anonymous

[moonraccoon-exe]

COON! You Play Horizon now? First DA:I and now Horizon? Ugh, all those awesome Gaming choices. I sadly didn’t play the game but I watched a playthrough and it is soooo stunning. I am so weak for games with such beautiful environments (one of the aspects why I love The Witcher). And YES for the badass female protagonist. Aloy is awesome isn’t she? I am glad that you are having fun after the initial problems. And i hope you‘ll be having a blast through the rest of the game. :3 -Peridot

PERIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( ´ ▽ ` )

*SMOOCHIE*

HEWWO PERIDOT AKSJFKLAGDJGALKGDJ ZOMG HELLO I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU AROUND AGAIN!!!

And hell yeah, I’m playing Horizong and I’m SO OBSESSED, YOU HAVE NO IDEA KLAJSKLGJFH. I’ve had a few days that I’ve stayed up past 1 am, which is like unusual in me because I love sleeping, just to keep playing. I haven’t gotten to play daily because my bro almost daily hogs the TV lmao, but when I do, dammit, it’s so difficult to take a pause! THIS ISN’T HEALTHY AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

And hell yeah it would be an awesome gaming choice. You’re like me and I’m like you just in different countries. The world was like “Yes, I will just copy paste this creature because Ive run out of ideas and just drop one here and the other across the ocean lmao what are the chances they’ll find each other” but the joke’s on the world because now we’re buddies lol

Honestly, the stuff you like is like. A mirror or like I ghostwrite what you tell me HOW DO YOU DO THAT. Or is it me who is a mirror and ghostwriting? HURRR e3e

But I digress ahahah

It’s okay to have only watched a playthrough! There’s people that do just that and that’s okay. Everybody experiences games in their own way, and not just as in their subjective perceptions of it, but also how they got into it in the first place! I’ve known people into the XV fandom that don’t even have a console, but that doesn’t make their experience any less fantastic!! Same for you, it’s okay to not have played it.

However, I do suggest it if you ever get the chance! I’m a little sad that I got it as second hand because I think “I know it’s just some miserable pennies to them but how I wish I could have helped with the popularity rating in the developers’ offices!”, that’s how damn good and incredible it is. Well designed, every single thing is where it needs to be, everything is so thoroughly thought through (oh my god so many tho’s), it’s absolutely gorgoeous. but I think you don’t need me to say that, you’ve watched the whole thing already and I’m just starting the climax!

Lemme add a keep reading right here, aye buddy? :3

So yep, big recommendation over here!!

I’m SO SO SO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO VERY WEAK FOR GAMES WITH BEAUTIFUL VIEWS AND ENVIRONMENTS TOO OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWDAKL SFJ DLKHAJ DLIFJA EGKLDJ BAKLDG

*EXPLODES*

SEE, PERIDOT? SEE? WE’RE LITERALLY THE SAME THING JUST SPEAKING DIFFERENT LANGUAGES, HOW DID WE STUMBLE UPON EACCH OTHER, this is like that one movie Parent Trap, and we’re the twins, except we’re not twins and you have your twin alskdjgk lmao why am i digressing so much today .3. 

But really, I really really really love games with big and beautiful maps. It’s one of the reasons it saddens and frustrated me so much to be unable to play Breath of the Wild, I’ve heard the setting there is absolutely mesmerizing and stunning!!! But yes. Games with big beautiful maps and environments are the absolute BEST, they’re my jam, I could buy a game with the most horrible of plots just for the map and I’d LOVE it.

And the environment here in Horizon? Fuknin.g Spectalcular! OH MY GAWD IT’S SO GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL AND SOOOOOOOOOOOO STUNNING, I CAN’T GET TIRED OF IT IT’S ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC AND GORGEOUS AND SO BREATHTAKING.

There’s lots of snowy mountains and paths, too, which makes me so happy and comfy because I LOVE SNOWY ENVIRONMENTS. And I love climbing to high places to look around (you can tell I love finding Observatories aksldjlkg). I’m in love with ALL THE RIVERS HAVE YOU SEEN HOW MANY RIVERS HORIZON HAS? MANY. MUCH. VERY. LOTS. IT’S SO MUCH WATER I LOVE WATER BODIES AND SPECIALLY LAKES AND RIVERS AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

And all the nature all the plants and flowers and trees gawds fuck me I fangasm, such a BEAUTIFUL scenario!

HOLY HOH, THE WITCHER HAS A BEAUTIFUL ENVIRONMENT TOO HUH??? .3. I mean it doesn’t surprise me, it IS a fantasy plot and an RPG so naturally it has to have a BEAUTIFUL open world and wide map full of nature and gorgeous sights. GAWDS AKJFDG IKLJOLDKJFA GKLDJ KLJAD LK *GRABBY HANDS*

HELL YEAH ALOY IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FREAKING...SUPERB FUNKY LITTLE CREATURE, MOST FANTASTIC AND SKILLED AND STRONGEST BADASS BEING, THAT WONDERFUL AND AMAZING OH MY GAWD OH MY GAWD I FANGASM AGAIN MY LOVE FOR ALOY IS IMMEASURABLY INSANE AND HUGE GAWDS DAMN ME I LOVE HER SO MUCH ALKSFJ KHD JHKLGF

Gods, she’s such a gorgeous example of a badass strong female lead role. She’s strong and has her own personality and determined and gawds damn me oh my god I melt I LOVE HER SO MUCH

She as a child was adorable and I was like oooh okay I like this, and then in that montage where she’s training, and you see her give a roll when she’s a kid and when she lands she’s an adult? OH FUCK ME TAHT’S WHAT I WAS ARROWED OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD SHE’S SO B ADASS AND SO STRONG AND SO SKILLED AND OH MY GOD IT KILLED ME

I at first was afraid that I wasn’t going to do well with this game, because I’m not very good with technology stuff, and that still counts for in game things. Like, give me a sword and an ancient spell book, I catch my grip. But give me a...the triangle artifact she finds in the beginning? Not sure what it’s called in english. That thing that scans and analyzes, and codes, and metal things and I’m...hngngh...l os t. I can barely understand a smartphone, you can’t give me futuristic gadgets and expect me to do well XD

But I’m doing strangely phenomenal!! I caught my grip really fast and I’m doing fantastic with everything. Agaklsjggadk, the more I type, the more I want to leave to go game, ahaha!! Aaaahhhhhhh, but yes, I was a bit insecure at first but gods damn me am I obsessed now alksjdf dglkdj

I do am having a blast!! I’m doing as usual and going for all available sidequests before progressing in the story, so I’ve been walking around for a while before reaching the Carja place and meeting the sun king and stuff. Current mission of main story is cleaning 1 more corrupted area. EASY PEASY. 

I’m surprisingly having more troubles with sidequests than main story actually ahahaha!! Like, “clean this corrupted area” yeah sure there you go. Sidequest, kill this one lonely machine that popped up from nowhere. Sure pal I’m- DEAD? WHAT DO YOU MEAN DEAD!?!? OH MY GO- OH MY GOD I DIED AGAIN STOP- HOW DO I HIT IT- NO- NO I’M DEAD AGAIN, OH MY GOD STOP!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Main story be like “go clean this corrupted area level 16″ pfff easy peasy. Sidequest be like “explode this zone level 8″ yeah okay OH MY GOD I’M DEAD, WHY, OH MY GOD THAT MACHINE IS GIGANORMOUS WHY IS LEVEL 16 FULL OF SMALL ONES AND THIS ONE HUGE IS- OH MY GOD STOP!!!!!!!!!!

Ahahahah but I’ve managed to clear sidequests! Some after many attempts, but cleared them. Gods is the explosive trap a miracle .3.

But anyways, that’s that dear Peridot!!! Thank you for whishing for me to enjoy the rest of the game, I’m SO sure I’ll have the blast of my life with everything yet left to do!!

I’m queueing this for an hour that suits you better, dear friend. Hopefully you’ll see this in your morning :)

Anyways!! Dear Peridot, that’s that about Horizon!! As always, it’s such a joy getting to talk with you. Thank you for dropping by, you superb muffin

Talk to you later, buddy!! Hugs for you!!

#Anonymous #Peridot #coonreplies

[ubelyptus]

soooooooooooo bb,,,...,.,,,strawberrry.

......I JUST FIND IT

  interestinggggggggg

how you Big mad cuz MY block game seeems 

skrong or summn

hanh???

oh.

well.

i never blockedt you 

on snapchat 

or whatsapp (you weren’t even muted),

yup, i still haven’t

but i didn’t have a properly working phone...

still......don’t

but either way you keep threatening to split on me 

like a weapon…fcking

manipulative as shit

it just seems to me that you just want to?

you never imprinted tho 

but she did 

so why should you?

i won’t ever, again, fight....

….with you.

my favorite accomplice

i wanted to learn with an open mind 

even after my phone died 

how to remain soft with you.  

even after being callled 

“old news" 

pffft

at least until

 i ‘m  eventually murdered by a cisgender man...

but

don’t fckn

pppppppop shit 

cuz like….. literally…..all i did was change my url.

shit, i Only blockedt you AFTER i saw you referencing gaslighting.

bc uhmm IIIIIIif that is about meeeeeeeeeeee 

ha!!!

 how fucking dare you.…..lyk....wuhh?

like when you said there is no difference between syn and alesia?????

HANH?

oh, but you think i blockedt you first bc i didn’t wanna get my feelings hurt?

….mhhhhhhh. ok.

seeems odd since you’re not liar 

right, eli????

but,,,,,so what’s this about the cozi password change? am i just shifting too rapidly between your and my reality???

bet.

no, i blocked you on things after THAT 

AND THAT WAS TODAY

oh, and didn’t your friend, my so-called “fighting buddy,” anan…

.just,,,,,fckn block me like i’m useless

trash

randomnly 

after all

i asked 

was that they 

not speak to me 

about you?

but YAAAAAAS  twas ONLY Me and simply Myself and just i 

who ain’t wanna get….hurt.

hanh?????

oh ,

obvi,

yeaaaaaaa

yeeeei

truuuu,

sooooo 

sssssorry,,,,but

calling me “old news” or saying i’m “old too” 

don’t forget your girl is 2 yrs older than you 

and then staying silent for these few days about changing passwords

that..... already did that, boo

at least i sent alesia third party emails thru the app, boo

she pushin 30 and can only talk you 

venuse....????. no....a 

talking and 

w a l k i ng tragedy

entyway don’t bring that up just to be loud and wrong about that too

you’re not always wrong tho, you know

you’d probably fuck up and slit my throat 

 powertripping

when i’m wrong about you

and you can only do that if you

 black and white 

me out 

to NEVER BE WRONG 

AND I DO 

ACTUALLLY HATE THAT ABOUT YOU!!!!! 

WHY CAN’T I EVER BE WRONG, ELI???? 

WHY????//

OH your emotions....? about your father that after 6 yrs you didn’t tell me about?

your reality? when you have a habit of projecting?

 and lowkey being dishonest 

to yourself first

 and then subsequently

 to me????

your time? when i’m mostly on yours?????

your efforts? like ripping up notes and telling me 

“my turn” to get fucked 

by you 

was over

when the only reason i was tiredt

was bc i crashed

too tiredt after explaining to You

that

  i‘m not even going to LET you play middleman

for a baby pushign 30????

oh. bet.

but since we’re being transparent:

here are receipts with timestamps:

http://microhealer.tumblr.com/tagged/hop-hop-hop-hop

http://microhealer.tumblr.com/tagged/hop+hop+bun

http://microhealer.tumblr.com/tagged/hop-hop-bunny

yea you must love dirty laundry

oh.

but that’s what i knew about you.

oh:

be yr own guest my love

i Knew you would ignore the “old news” message since that's literally when you started telling on yourself 

you do treat trans partners

 like side hoes, 

thasssa wholeBET 

and some change

 for you to create

cuz thassssssss 

how you feel about me fr fr

so that “like” is mine but

  i…..actually really Really love that you laughed tho.

bc i haven’t heard you fully belly laugh in a long time.

if ever iirh.

even after knowing you for 6+ years, 

your supposed “first friend “ in the DMV

the person i can trust my life with

the only

you’re my only...

 ,,,,,even after i spiraled 

and cut myself for the first time since middle school?

now my friends are fucking spotting you 

and talking to each other 

about you

oh, you didn’t know. 

but i got mehndi done today 

let a summer baby boy

love 

a cut up 

by me

body

 before noon

today 

thinking i’d see you and we could talk like,,,,

…..like real people do.

and you’d be distracted by the design and not zone in

 on the failed cuts

 on my wrist 

since i’m shit at not just repeatedly carving into 

white meat

 when i can only use a ceramic blade

i just didn’t WANT you to 

so i never “came home to [you]”

you said that on nov 4th/5th of last year

and

i’ve been looking up bpd all day

eventho i told you

  i don’t trust the internet 

sooooo you not telling me 

didn’t hel p

but it’snot at all your job to 

and i sitll

stilllstil stil stilllca’t see

....and i dind’t want you to see.

bc i’m not just a man.

i’m still femme

which you seem to love to forget

and still soft enough, i think.....

i hope…..or learning to be soft,,,,

where it won’t get me killed,,,,,

but where it still counts.

with…or without you.

either way i’m a man who loves you. a man whose phone died at 28% trying to get you to see that i was trying to be soft even after you called me

 “old news”

but,,,,,.....,,,compared to …..who?????? sh....oooo??????

your new girlfriend who is 1 or 2 years older than you?????

and can’t speak to me 

a man who is only barely out of 23???

and instead only whispers

 to you?????

bruh, she’s clearly not fond of me. 

and you’re not a liar , 

so don’t 

she had to tell you that she wasn’t the one putting out “aggy energy”

specifically

during yennayer which

i ruined

and im still sorru

but which means

she’s probably done it in your apartment on purpose already, boo

didn’t think of that, did you

lingustically.,,,,,nope.

oh, but there’s power in a whisper, darling.

i am just cardinal like you

i am air too.

  i should know 

bc i accidentally whistled....and,,,,,,

i only blockedt you so that you wouldn’t “hurt [your] own feelings”

 like you told anan you sometimes do.

sooooooooooooo yea... i

did it so you wouldn’t hurt you. 

as cardinal water/pisces moons 

are prone to do.

you can;t drain

and you can’t drown

 ain’t that how i affirmed you

i already hurt me 

when i dissociated 

and i’m STILL FUCKING sorry 

that there was blood that you had to see. 

i couldn’t stay in my body long enough to clean fast enough

but i still didn’t want you to hurt you bc of me.

like you did repeatedly

bc of bpd or bc of basically cishet or at least cis ~queer girls

or other partners 

like when you were with kat,

who’s still disgustingly attached to a messy white

and now a new black kid.....

or with shushoo.

and how you might with alesia.

no, correction: how you have with alesia. 

how you will continue to, if you’re not careful, with alesia.

you’re a lion facing a prince of a house kitten ,....,

.,, who is homeless.

do you feel good, big boss?

all i asked was for you to listen t

o how you were speaking to me 

on the phone 

at your place of work 

and when she’s there

possibly a place of worshiop

..... even after i told you 

that i was intentionally putting energy into Not fighting you

and you

  say you

"don’t wanna be a middle person" 

but you also….wanna cape for yet another fucking cis girl.

who isn’t even muslim this time. 

HOWtragic.

i couldn’t laugh

couldn’t ever laugh at sway

bc by whatever fortune if you do split or don’t 

 i still  love you

i love you too much

but in those moments after that phone call….

after my phone died…

and my body couldn’t move to charge it.

wouldn’t move….

and all i could do was cry during the adhan.

bc you’re tooo much like matt now

i wish i knew what it could feel like to

 hate someone 

who called you 

"OLD NEWS” 

compared to a bitch pushing 30 

youza WHOLE fuckn clown, dawg.

matt did this same shit

move me out for a new side bitch

yet anotehr cis

look at how cute trans love can be

oh

no

NO

no,

no

no

this is what you give me:

laughter.

BC what fucking luck.

BUT IT’S gotta be TROOF

  s ince you don’t lie?/?

shit I LAUGHED TOO:

it sounds like….

NEITHER OF US

KNEW WHAT COULD

HAVE BROUGHT US

HERE, ELI.

maybe you nursing poison in your own home

and telling me i’m making you feel unwelcomed

on a blog and not to my face did it

fuckingggggggggg. why’ald.

you think it’s too much sweat????? false. 

that apartment stayed cold.

too many tears?

 ok ok yea troof.

but too much love? forreal?

we?????

ooooop

hoooop!!!

oh, you speakin’ french now. our collective colonizers tongue in 20gayteeeeeeeen?????

CAN’T RELATE 

bc I’M TOOOOOO GAY

wow. we ruined it, fam???? fr fr?

nah, chosen fam.

you ruined us.

you ruined us over:

 a cis girl and

your own impatience

and your own anger.

and my slow brain and my slow body

//

i’m not sure she’d find you from maryland

if you dissociated bc your other semi

 but not 

girlfriend emotionally abused you

until people who didn’t know you were muslim

thought you were fucking drunk

and you fucking stilllllll 

work with her?????

why couldn’t you just wait until she found a new job???

ain’t she trying????

or izzzzzz she??????

hahhnh???

where was the damn rush?????

you’re like two goofy high schoool kids 

reaching for the quickest nuts every 6 hours

 like jesus fuck.

you’re irresponsible as shit telling me i’m a grown man making grown decisions and i see this 

?????

unREASONABLE, ELI.

this isn’t a situation of a kettle calling a pot black

 babe

bc i’m actually Black

and you’re not

but she’s black too.

what did i tell you:

"you datin’ two whole Niggas. if you fight me over her, you will lose either way.”

but instead you called me “obtuse”

SAT words for me

 but not for you…….what.,,,.,,,,,,,, fckn luck……..

what luck,,,,,that the one person who housed me consistently

and kept me alive

when i trusted no one

would call me "old news”

and let their cis girlfriend

 turn herself into your

personal "healing” …...

sibkid. \\\\

howTragic like all of CC’18

you know what happens when you slip and get sloppy and let a baby bitch be responsible for your healing?

she leaves. 

for a real bitch 

with microhealing abilities, 

GOOFY.

she worships a new goddess every friday?????

well, i know only of orixas 

and only of black power

 but from what i know of goddesses OFF of OUR continent…

soooon...

at least one of them WILL want a soul from her

just letting you know it might not have to be hers.

…..OH!

and when i chargedt and openedt my phone after days of wandering. ….the last messages from you are:

YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID “LEAVE [[[[MMMMMYYYYYYY]]]]]] KEYS”

like a fucking baby.

imagine that.

even to you, i’m still a whore.

out…the…bakc….dooor.

??????

i couldn’t even work a john when i wanted to

 if i was sad about you.

but imagine?????

  a cis-pixie woman older than you

letting you treat her like a child?????

then

imagine me feeling shamed into leaving

bc of pictures of your smiling face

after i cut myself and felt shame 

that

in your unwelcomed  to both me and you

BLOOD

 blood 

is what brings me back

 to life.

how.

fucking.

why’yald.

i blockedt you so that you didn’t lurk.

bc THat is what you do.

instead of speaking with me, 

you seem to have expected me

 to read your blog back 7 years.

and just know all of the fatherly things that trigger you.

like…even during the times when i was afraid of my own phone and laptop for 2 months bc of my sister, brother, and birth parents????

funny how i’m the youngest of us “grown folks” and yet still find that really 

FUCKING

immature.

of YOU

to do

you really never knew me, or did you…..??

you donated to me before you even knew me.

so i know your heart has parts made of gold.

but now you show off your crystals and your gold.~~~

yep.

here we are.

you’ve "only every seen [me] as a boy.”

ok. bet.

and unti this post:

i’ve hardly heard you refer to me as a man.

so:

ain’t you late?

ain’t you late, babe??

ain’t you late?

i’m a year younger than you.

which means if you grown

i musta BEEN a man too, boo.

but you’ll always be

 my favorite accomplice

 and always be my favorite friend too.

but you cannot think you can play me by calling me

 “old too” or “old news"

 for young fish who is basically femme trade

and thinking i won’t cut open a fool.

which coincidentally always happens to be me

she’s hardly out to anybody important and lying at work too.

i must be bigger fool.

bc you knew better and didn’t do better.

but i’m being immature.

  ok ...,.,,.,,

cute.

your pisces moon is keeping you from seeing clearly but that’s what young water seems…to do. to much light reflected; tho it is a fountain of youth.

she’s pushing 30 baby 

but true, you’re her boo.

yea, a childish boo.

you ever wonder why her playlist from you had more songs than ours did?

why she can never keep a man around for valentines day?

oh but don’t you love “patterns”, baby????

unless it’s her leaving shit around the apartment

or her triggering you

or her treating your dick like it’s foreign, 

even to you.

my gay ass was shookedt 

when you told me you voluntarily 

triggered yourself

 for her kitty too

but i AM 

a grown man

 who is “running” from….you

you think that statement is not…. dishonest??

you really think that statement is true???

—

i didn’t run. i just

needed space

and you afforded me none.

you couldn’’t afford it.

february is before march which is before april 

sooooooo it’s always a tight month ain’t it???????

oooooooh but you afforded her plenty.

she gets to take off her fucking pants while i try to figure out if i should move from a spot next to you….

on your fucking bed.

she took off her pants to climb near you before she could even say hi to 

nooonoo

ahh right

and THEN ME.

“Oh, you CAN stay”

that’s what She told me.

and you said nothing.

so i left….the room.

i never run.

you pushed me out with your captain save-a-cis silence.

it’s violence.

and

you’re still pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing 

until me…you know 

i, the "old news” 

just feels like he should just 

fucking fall 

onto the district streets

and she finds it

to her fucking fancy 

to fall

 into your lap

like a damn,,,,zel. 

distressedt.

with a roof over her head outside of your apartment too.

woooooooops!

yip, as she is probably prone to do.

her kind….isn’t new….boo.

her kind isn’t new to me

her kind isn’t new to you

you ever wonder why she feels so familiar to you?

she reminds Me of the girl who told you 

she could never marry you 

and is now trying to date someone just like you

so don’t be so unkind to me 

or to you 

or be so foolish

 as to believe i gave up on you

you gave up on me

and on top of that

you think i just...ran

ran….with what clothing?

the ones you packed up for me and left at the door 

that i was suppose to pick up 

and slide out the back….like a fucking whore?

you just tryna be

a cissie's bae

who stay clownin on trans folks now?

oooooooh issa bet, mo

. i mean.,,,.,,.mhhhh i guess?

—==—

but troooof, i don’t “need" anybody.

but i want you.

but you need her.

that’s how it work, don’t it?????

that’s why you risk job security every day.

and let her leave her panties on my clothes.

and let her tell me i "can stay" in …..A, not MY, spot next to you

in yo'bed?

what fucking fools. the two of you.

but “no one is forcing [me] to"

oh, baby you /are/ forcing me too

i look on your blog and then find out you’ve been feeling “unwelcome in [your] own home”

this whole fucking time

all the way since early november, innit?????

if i love you at all, 

what else am i to do?????????????

??????????????????????????/

know that you will self-destruct 

and just…wait for you to????????????????????

???????????????????????????????/

no

i didn’t run.

you just fucking pushed me.

and you’re still fucking pushing.

and you’ll keep pushing.

bc that is what you do.

embe…..@strawberreli 

se sá’m te konne nu’ou.

you like microblogging so much

so like it if you read this shit

#ritten #pisces tw #solar cancer cw #cutting cw #self harm cw

[kingdans]

A-Z TAG!

Hellooooo ~~ 

I was tagged by @jaehyunscult ​ in this get to know kinda tag, thank u mariel 💙

RULES: Answer all the questions in a new post and tag blogs you would like to know better!

Y’all know this is huge so take a sit and lez go ~~

A: Age - what the hell is that quesTION U RUDE

B: Birthplace - Paraguay/Brazil

C: Current time - 00:45 (guess who has early morning class tomorrow? YES, ME :D)

D: Drink you had last - water. YALL KEEP YOURSELF HYDRATED

E: Easiest person to talk to - @minhwangs ​ sarah can be everyone’s bestie, she’s reaaaaaaaaaallly easy to talk and this is beautiful. Go check on her y’all. 

F: Favorite song - currently? TEENAGER by GOT7 YALL GO CHECK IT RN

G: Grossest memory - i kinda have trypophobia, so one day my sis fell somewhere and end up with a huge open wound in her calves and that motherfucker (sorry mom) drew a lot of little black dots around it and kept showing me knowing that it made me cringe and wanna cry just by looking at. She chased me around the whole day and send me pics too. I hate it so much ISAHLKSHALKSHAS I STILL SHAKING JUST BY THINKING ABT IT, GROSSSSS

H: Hogwarts house - slytherin

I: In love - with @ongniel-wanpire​ and @defsouldanik ​

J: Jealous of people - people with self esteem :”)

K: Killed someone - not yet :”) BUT IM ALMOST LOSING MY SHIT AT UNI

L: Love at first sight or should I walk by again - walk again pls, to the hell away from me, thanks

M: Middle name - Lemos ( it means ‘we read’ lmao)

N: Number of Siblings - 1 thanks god and its already enough

O: One wish - travel around the world and meet interesting ppl :)

P: Person you called last - my mom

Q: Question you’re always asked - recently has been: ‘WHY DO UR HAIR LOOKS GREEN?!?!’

R: Reasons to smile - jjp (aka jjsoulmates or also got7 parents)

S: Song you sang last - Teenager - GOT7 (im not kidding abt being addicted to this shit)

T: Time you woke up - usually at 7am or so, today tho i woke past noon (A BLESS)

U: Underwear color - i’m.. urgh… i’m not wearing one rn? 😳 😳 😳 BSAUSHUAHSUAHS EXCUSE ME BUT I LIKE TO SLEEP COMFY ENOUGH 

V: Vacation Destination - THAILAND !!!!!! TAKE TO TO THAILAND

W: Worst habit - Procastination (yeah mariel i can relate, i just.. like to ignore what i have to do until i cant hahaha :””””””””””) this is how i cope with life)

Y: Your favorite food - My mom’s chicken stroganoff aka THE BEST 

Z: Zodiac sign - sagittarius (i dont really believe in this shit tho)

SOOOOOOOOOOOO yeah, know that y’all know that i like to sleep half naked i’m tagging: @defsouldanik ​ @ongniel-wanpire ​ @ongdan​ @kangdanielrant​ @fangdaniel ​ @ongsecngwoo​ @wanna-one ​ @wannx-one​ @donghyun​ @ongeuigeon​ @kangdan101​ @emperorhwangs​ AND @kimsjaehwan​  💖

again, y’all dont need to but i would appreciate and like to get to know y’all better. THAT SAID, IM LEAVING ~~~~~~ ksalkkshalshsasa  

#i should tag it as tmi #ksakshalhasa #oh god time to flee away and never get back #i still thinking i'm boring enough to died unnoticed #idk #so yeah time to get that beauty sleep that does nothing for me at all but i keep trying #if u guys read it all well.. thank u #@

[badcowboy69]

For the uncommon questions things how about 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 11, 14, 35, 39, A, D, G, and J.

Oh man…sorry this took so long.  It was a little harder than I thought!  Anyway thanks for sending these!  Enjoy!

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Travis is an observer.  He is very content in sitting and watching the world go by regardless of where he’s at.  Even though he likes to be out on adventures or doing something constructive, he’s also learned to sit back and simply enjoy the peace of doing nothing can bring.

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?

Very easy.  Travis appreciates a good joke and fun sense of humor especially since those traits are strong in him.  He finds humor in a lot of things and can really appreciate a good comeback or sarcasm.  He loves puns and if you can give him one he’ll probably be your best friend.  Travis is also the kind of person that snickers over the fart sounds made from squeezing a plastic bottle of something.  

3.How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

He has a variety of ways actually.  Sometimes a nice glass of wine, going over a pre-war book, or simply something intimate (the level of that depends on the mood) all of which involve his partner in some way.  

4.How easy is it to earn their trust?

Surprisingly somewhat quickly.  He comes with a deeply ingrained “until you give a reason to mistrust you I will trust you” sort of thing.  He might be wary, but for the most part he’s willing to give someone a chance.  How deep that trust goes is another thing.  He’s not exactly going to be handing out security codes to the first Fiend he meets up with who says they have pure intentions.  

5.How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

Very.  It’s way easier to lose his trust than to gain it if that’s possible.  It all stems back to his being self-conscious.  You betray him, lie, or let him down in some way he’ll always be a little wary.  You basically get two chances with him, however.  Depending on the severity he’ll let the first offense slide…do it to him again, his trust in you is completely shot to hell.

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

Being that he’s lost all his memories up ‘til about a decade ago, there’s not much going on for him nostalgia wise.  He might have a certain item or situation he’s drawn to and not really known why.  Maybe that’s his mind’s way of still having some sort of nostalgia in it, but with the full memory of it gone he can’t comprehend what’s the interest is.  For the most part, however, he does enjoy the feeling it brings even if he doesn’t understand why it’s there.

11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

Travis gets frustrated.  He tries really hard not to show that he’s confused with something, but the more he fakes through it the more frustrated he gets.  Half the time too if he gets really frustrated he gets annoyed at whomever it is trying to explain things to him feeling they’re doing a really shitty job at it.

14. What animal do they fear most?

Cazadors.  He’d rather take on a pack of crazed deathclaws than meet up with one cazador.  They’re like the silent ninjas of death in the Mojave.  Half the time they don’t even register on his pip boy’s radar.  Hell they get past Rex a lot of the times so that’s pretty bad and scary right there!

35. How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

Travis is quite excited when a friend is excited about something.  Even if he has no knowledge of what that something is all about or if it’s something he really dislikes, he’s happy his friend is happy.  He always tries to be supportive in things as well.  Sometimes all it takes is a kind word of motivation from a friend in order to continue to enjoy that thing all the more or be successful at it.

39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

He ignores any and all flaws as long as that person doesn’t act like a drama whore over it.  Travis certainly has a few flaws himself (no past memories for example) but he doesn’t carry on and whine or even bring constant attention to that.  

A) Why are you excited about this character?

Gosh why wouldn’t I be excited about my dear Travis?  I honestly have had him in my life ever since I was a little cowgirl!  Even though he’s only been highly developed since 2015 he was always a part of my life in some way.  Now that he is so out there and developed I can’t stop thinking about him and putting him on adventures I’m sure he’s always been waiting for.

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

In all honesty I really don’t remember 100% what he might have looked like back when I was a kid.  I do know he was a cowboy with black hair.  The outfit I wore back then was a black cowboy hat with white horses painted around the brim and a bolo tie with a pink horse on it that I still have in my possession.  When I created my courier in Fallout New Vegas, I just loosely based him on a more humanized version of my bad cowboy.  The more I played the more I realized it was no him and he then became Travis.  That look has remained the same after all these years now.  

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

His being self-conscious.  It’s bad enough I’m that way, but it unfortunately bled onto him as well.  He’s been betrayed by someone he trusted and so have I and am always in fear I still will be.  I don’t think he feels that way currently with Riley, but I’m sure that still lingers in the very back of his mind.  I wish he wasn’t like that.  I wish he could trust more in not only himself, but in other people.

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

Well, originally he was totally based on the game play in New Vegas.  He took over New Vegas and had Boone as his boyfriend.  However my coming to Tumblr in 2016 changed all that.  He met up with Riley and they became fast lovers and friends.  I had to think about Boone, but then it dawned on me that the events from Vegas were six years before Fallout 4.  Anything could have happened in those six years.  I had Boone leave him a few months after the battle for Hoover Dam.  However, I had him co-own Vegas with Mister House as opposed to have killed him.  But a nice friend mentioned that game Travis doesn’t have to be canon Travis….soooooooooooo there ya have it.  The Travis you know  and (hopefully) love is the canon version now.  If you want to read about what went on in the time from the battle to his meeting Riley, check out this story.

#abouttravis #free-hugs-for-ghouls

[phatjosh180]

Running Thoughts: 💯

I have this dilemma. Well, okay, it’s probably not that much of a dilemma as it is a decision to make. I need to decide when and where I am going to tackle my 100 mile race. And, I kinda have to decide by Friday — because that’s when registration opens for the two races I have narrowed down my decision to …

Across the Years

Jackpot Ultra Running Festival

There are a number of reasons why I have narrowed it down to these two races. For one, they are looped courses — something I have fallen in love with in regards to ultra races. Secondly, I have done Jackpot previously — back in 2017 when I did 40 miles in 12 hours — and I loved it. And, thirdly, it’s warm in Vegas and Arizona. Much warmer than Utah in December and February.

Soooooooooooo … what do I do? Which race do I pick?

This feels like a life decision that should be easy. But, there’s registration fees (anywhere from $150-$300 depending on when I sign up), travel (do I drive by car, plane or rail? Is rail even an option?) and then there’s the training aspect of the race. Because, I’m not the biggest fan of winter running — at least this year I haven’t.

All, I really know is that whichever race I pick it will be the 48 hour race so I’ll have PLENTY of time to finish my 100 miles without the fear of cutoffs and deadlines. Reasonable for a back of the packer like me, right?

So yeah.

So many questions. So many dilemmas. I feel like a teenage girl stressing over whether or not Mike Gables will ask me out to Homecoming!?!?!

In order for me to make a decision by the end of the week on which race to pick, I am going to lay out some pros and cons for each race. I figure that’s what adults do, right? Especially when their very future depends on it.

So much drama, I know.

Okay, so where we go with the list …

ACROSS THE YEARS

PROS

It’s in a deserty place in the middle of winter (Arizona, end of December).

It’s a one mile looped course (this could potentially be a con, as it might contribute to an early race mental breakdown).

There’s an In-n-Out Burger within 1.7 miles of the race location.

There’s a Walmart, Wendy’s, Culver’s and Taco Bell within a couple miles of the race location (though I’m not sure Taco Bell would be the best choice of food in the middle of a 100 mile race — though nachos sounds like a great option at any mile).

A good deal of local runners from Run4fun and Trails & Pavement are planning on doing the race — making a small tent city community a nice little feel of home.

It’s six weeks after my 50K and ten weeks after my 50 miler — making it easier to jump from one ultra distance to another to this one.

Since this race is a six-day event I can choose what two consecutive days I want to run. Right now I’m thinking of doing December 30-31st, but that could change — maybe I will want to run my 100 first thing in 2020 so I can run 100 miles in January for the first time ever (HA! That thought scares me).

I have never done a race in Arizona before — in fact — the only time I’ve been in Arizona has been during a stop at the Phoenix airport and whenever I drive from St. George to Vegas — and I don’t really consider that Arizona. It’s no-man’s land. I don’t really count having visited Arizona yet. This would change that.

I can fly in and out of Phoenix with ease — though you have to catch the right kind of deal at the right time, because it can be pricey to fly down there from Salt Lake.

I can rent a tent and/or cot through the race during my stay — and even one to share with someone else. So that’s a good thing.

I can earn a free race entry if I sign up for a eight hour work shift. Tempting, I won’t lie. Though one of the job descriptions say I MAY have to clean out port-a-potties …

CONS

It’s a one mile looped course (I just have this fear that a mile long loop is going to make me go crazy sooner than later).

There’s a Burger King within two miles of the race location (if this gives you any indication of how much I hate BK — I absolutely hate it. I hate the smell of it. I hate it all. I fear if a whiff of charbroiled hamburgers hit me mid-run I’d lose everything in my stomach).

The price is a bit hefty for my liking. For the 48 hours — if I register right away — it’s $243.67. But, that is for two days of racing, a place to pitch a tent and all my meals during that 48 hours and a finisher mug and buckle(!). So it’s not quite like a RunDisney event where they charge you $200 for the privilege to run through their parks — AND DON’T GIVE YOU A PARK TICKET WITH IT!!! (you probably can tell I’m kinda bitter about that).

The closest casual sit down restaurant is Denny’s. Denny’s. You don’t celebrate anything at Denny’s if you can avoid it. That’s where you go after funerals (well at least I do).

If I chose to carpool or drive to the race — it’s over 10 hours and not my idea of fun. But, it could be if I carpooled with a group of fun people.

If I was to go the cheap air travel route, I’d have to take Allegiant Air — and — well, it’s Allegiant. Do I have to say any more? Oh, and you have to fly out of Provo — so there’s that too. Do I really need that kind of adventure in my life? IDK?

The weather could be too hot? I’m not too familiar with arizona weather in December. That could potentially be a factor.

I don’t really know anyone in the Phoenix area outside and support outside of the running community would be fairly non-existent. But, is that an issue at all? IDK?

JACKPOT ULTRA RUNNING FESTIVAL

PROS

It’s in a deserty place in the middle of winter (It’s Vegas, baby! And, in mid-February)

It’s on a 2.5 mile looped course that I have done before (it’s easy to pretend each lap is a mile long, thus tricking yourself).

There’s an In-n-Out Burger within 3.4 miles of the race location.

There’s a WinCo Foods, Wendy’s, Carl’s Jr. and RC Willeys across the street (the RC Willeys might be a non-factor, but with the race being held over Valentine’s Day weekend they might be giving out hot dogs and Coke — and that always sounds good after running a minimum of 25 miles).

More than likely my BFFF Jill Gabica will be running the race as well — though I’m sure I won’t be able to coax her into doing the 48 hours with me.

I can’t find a Burger King within 5 miles of the race (THIS IS GREAT NEWS EVERYONE!)

There are numerous WORLD-RENOWNED buffets I could chow down at after my race!!! Wicked Spoon anyone?

I can fly in and out or drive to and from Vegas with ease.

They have some pretty sweet swag, medals and awards — they’re kinda notorious about it.

It could be easier to coax family and friends to join me for the couple of days to help pace and support me in the race attempt.

CONS

I have done the course and race before. That’s not necessarily a BAD thing, but I also do like the sense of trying something new at times.

It is 13 weeks from my 50K and 17 weeks from my 50 miler — making the gap between ultra distances to this race longer. Thusly, requiring me to plan out longer than wanted training runs in December and January during the dead of winter (but, hey, I COULD run lap upon lap upon lap upon lap in the Olympic Oval or on a treadmill — kill me).

The weather could be too hot? Ideally, I’d love to run in cloud cover like I did in 2017. Heck, it even snowed around the weekend of this year’s Jackpot Running Festival. The predictability of Vegas’ weather seems a bit too much like a — wildcard.

Really, there aren’t too many — the biggest con looming over my head keeps on being the gap between doing a 100 miler in February with a 50K in November and 50 miler in October. I just don’t know if I want to wait that long between races? I’d really prefer keeping some of my looooooooong runs non-solo for this attempt.

So there you have it — my pros and cons for each race. Now I have to pour over both lists and make a decision — soon. I really would LOVE to make a decision by Friday, but I know that probably won’t happen. Plus, I am going to California this weekend to see some family and run the SoCal Half Marathon — so I just want to kind of focus on that for the time being.

But, if you would like to chime in on which race I should do I would love your feedback. Especially if you have done one or both of these races. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Ugh.

Anywho … if you would like to help me decide, please vote for which race you think I should do!

Running Thoughts: 💯 was originally published on PhatJosh | Running Thoughts.

#@trailsandpavement #100 #100 miler #100 miles #2019 #2019 goals #2020 #2020 goals #goals #instagram #life goals #running #running thoughts #social media #training #ultra #ultrarunning

[ninjacupcake333]

I was tagged

by the wonderful user @peaceful-waldeinsamkeit (thanks for the tag! :D)

Rules: Answer all the questions, then add one of your own, and tag as many people as there are questions

1) Coke or Pepsi?: I feel like I’m the only person who has never had a preference regarding this debate, I like them both

2) Disney or Dreamworks?: That’s tough…………honestly I love them both equally, I can’t decide!!! >3<

3) Coffee or Tea?: COFFEE!!! I drink two cups a day and I’m actually really REALLY moody without it, like honestly, I am a bitch without coffee (ask my brother)

4) Books or Movies?: Books, Hollywood always screws things up imho

5) Windows or Mac?: I’ve never used a Mac sooooo Windows

6) D.C. or Marvel?: I don’t read a lot of comics, but when it comes to movies and show I’ve never really seen any DC ones (besides like…..batman and suicide squad and teen titans which I adore), so although I adore teen titans I have to go with Marvel cuz I’ve seen more from them 

7) Xbox or PlayStation?: Don’t play a lot of games, but I’d have to go with Playstation. Gotta love kingdom hearts guys. Plus I just bought a PS4 so I could play FF15 soooooooooooo

8) Dragon age or mass effect?: ……..i’veneverplayedeither…………..I’ve heard they’re good though, would people recommend this??? (cuz I have the PS4 now so I could play them if I wanted I think)

9) Night Owl or Early Riser?: Night owl. If I have nothing to do the next day I’ll stay up til 3 and wake up late in the afternoon

10) Cards or Chess?: I don’t do a lot of either, but I play cards more, and I’m REALLY bad at chess (despite my brother saying I’m really good at chess, which whenever I play I usually have no idea what I’m doing soooooo)

11) Chocolate or Vanilla?: Chocolate. I’m like that guy from Spongebob. I’m the girl that buys those pound-of chocolate bars at Trader Joe’s whenever I get the chance and eats it within a week

12) Vans or Converse? I wear converse literally every day. Even when they get destroyed they’re comfortable!

13) Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar?: ………..uh…….gesundheit?

14) Fluff or Angst?: I’m honestly not sure……fluff I guess? it’s cute sometimes, and angst just makes me feel bad

15) Beach or Forest?: atm I’d have to say forest, I did a LOT of hiking when I was in Japan and it was amazing, but whenever I go to the beach anymore I just end up sitting in the sand doing nothing. I don’t really swim anymore

16) Dogs or Cats? Yes

17) Clear Skies or Rain? Clear skies, rain makes me REALLY tired

18) Cooking or Eating Out? I can’t cook, but I also don’t like spending money, so neither I guess? though eating out has the social aspect to it, so if I HAD to pick one I’d say eating out if it was with friends

19) Spicy or Mild Food? Mild, I don’t handle spicy well……

20) Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas? THIS IS HALLOWEEN, THIS IS HALLOWEEN (goes off into song)

21) Would You Rather Forever Be A Little Too Cold Or A Little Too Hot?: A little too cold, my thermostat’s usually really low so that’s basically my reality anyways

22) If You Could Have A Superpower What Would It Be?:  I’ve heard legit arguments against this, but despite that, I’d wanna be able to read minds. Not all the time, but in like….a controlled sense. Like read a certain person’s mind at a certain time, but be able to shut it off when I want so I don’t have a stream of incoming thoughts from people. Mostly cuz I’m really bad at being able to tell when someone’s joking about something or picking up on context clues(like REALLY BAD) so that would help a lot, plus I get really paranoid about what people actually think about me (AND IT WOULD HELP WITH MY CURRENT CRUSH SITUATION THAT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY ATM CUZ MY CRUSH EITHER CAN’T MAKE UP HIS GODDAMN MIND OR JUST DOESN’T WANT TO AND IT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY CUZ I CAN’T TELL WHAT HE’S THINKING) I would never actually use it against anyone, I just want it so I can freakin relax for once when it comes to being social

23) Animation or Live Action?: Animation. Bout sums that up

24) Paragon or Renegade?: ……………………..what does that mean? pertaining to what exactly? is this a reference? I’m confused.......

25) Bath or Shower?: Shower, I don’t have time for baths (though I have to say I HAVE been wanting to try bath bombs, they look fun....)

26) Team Cap or Team Iron-Man?: (don’t kill me dad) Iron man. Idk why but something has always bugged me about Captain America’s character, and I love the Iron man movies more than the Captain America ones, so Iron man (SORRY DAD SPARE ME >3<)

27) Fantasy or Sci-Fi?: Fantasy, sci fi doesn’t really catch my interest as much. It does sometimes, but I always end up liking fantasy stories better

28) Do You Have Three or Four Favorite Quotes If So What Are They?: also something I’ve never really thought about……..

Well I can’t remember the exact wording, but I guess my favorite quote would have to be “Growing old is mandatory, growing up isn’t”

And I guess if I’m choosing more than one, my second one would be lyrics from a song by Icon for Hire “You didn’t shoot for the moon just to hit the stars” (from their song “Demons”)

I don’t really have any others though tbh, if I find any others or think of any I’ll edit

29) YouTube or Netflix?: I watch a loooooooooot of markiplier and game grumps, so youtube

30) Harry Potter or Percy Jackson?: YES

31) When Do You Feel Accomplished?: When I complete something that I’ve been wanting to do for a while. I never feel motivated to do anything anymore, so those moments where I do actually get motivated enough to pick myself up from off my couch and like….draw something, or read something, or play something that I’ve been wanted to for a while, it’s not much but it’s a good feeling

32) Star Wars or Star Trek?: neither (PLEASE DON’T KILL ME)

I’ve never watched Star Trek, and I had a kiiiiiiind of bad experience getting into Star Wars (thing with an ex, nothing really bad, just uncomfortable) so I never really got into it further

33) Paperback Books or Hardcover Books?: Hardcover. They’re just so much nicer! Plus I always end up bending the covers of paperbacks cuz I carelessly pack them when I wanna take them with me places....

34) Fantastic Beasts or Cursed Child?: I haven’t actually read/seen fantastic beasts yet so I can’t answer this. My brother got me the book for Christmas, but I haven’t gotten to reading it yet, and I haven’t had time to watch the movie. I HAVE read Cursed Child though

35) Rock or Pop Music? I’m in a rock band so if I didn’t say rock I’d feel like a heathen

36) What Is The Most Important Thing In Your Life?: musiiiiiiiiiic. it’s been a HUGE part of my life since 4th grade when I first started playing flute/when my dad first gave me fall out boy’s “from under the cork tree”/ green day’s “american idiot”. I went to an arts school for instrumental music and everything!

37) Mountains or Sea/Ocean?: going back to the hiking thing, mountains

38) How Do You Express Yourself?: …………….going back to the motivation thing, I can never bring myself to do the things that would best help me express myself……….I’m awful >3< though I’d have to say either drawing or playing an instrument (lately bass guitar) would be the ways I express myself best when I actually try

39) What’s The First Book/Film That Really Counted To You?: Probably Percy Jackson tbh. It’s the first series I’ve read that I stuck with for as long as I have

40) What’s Your Element (Ar, Water, etc.)?: FIRE!!! I literally wear a bracelet/necklace everyday with the alchemic symbol for fire on them

41) If You Could Travel Anywhere, Where Would You Go?: Either back to Japan (CUZ I FUCKIN LOVE JAPAN OMG) or like……I’d love to go to Paris or Italy tbh

42) If you had any job in the world, what would it be?: My UNREALISTIC dream job is to be in a famous band as the bassist, I love just being able to play with my friends and if I could make a living off of that, that would be amazing

My REALISTIC dream job is to teach Japanese.  I’ve always loved the idea of being a teacher, but I never knew for what subject, but when I started college I knew I wanted to teach foreign language. I started with french, but I ended up switching to japanese cuz i had more of a passion/interest in it.

43) If you were granted three wishes, what would they be?

1. WORLD FUCKING PEACE I MEAN SERIOUSLY HOW FUCKING HARD IS THAT

2. a bit selfish here, but for me to have enough resources to be able to live comfortably

3. for everyone else to be able to do so as well

44) If You Had To Eat One Food For The Rest Of Your Life, What Would It Be?: Literally any kind of pasta. That’s all I ate as a kid and I still freaking love it

45) What’s Your Spirit Animal/Patronus?: According to Pottermore, my patronus is a black mamba

I REALLY DO BELONG IN SLYTHERIN!!!! 

46) Would You Kill Yourself And Save Your Friends or Kill Your Friends and Save Yourself?: Uhhhh probably myself to save my friends, that’d be fine

47) If You Had To Become A Mythical Creature Which Would You Be? Now THIS I’ve definitely never thought of……um……I meaaaaaaaaan……I guess if I HAD to choose I’d go with elf probably. That’d be cool

NEW! 48) If you could have one thing in the world right now, what would it be?

I don’t actually know/follow 48 people, so I’m just gonna tag people that I know well IRL (you guys don’t actually have to do it if you don’t want ^^;;;;;)

@dreamer-21 @prince-of-pineapples @phantomcat94 @facheux-grantaire @kingkuroko11 @thenerdwholeaptthroughtime @dasteacup @orangeincubator @kastanas

#tag game