#like im not ... Mad? about it? like it's not necessarily done to even sexualize her it's just treated as a real facet of her design

[moonsidesong]

don't think i can fully articulate how bad i hate the freeing 1/4 scale reimu. like literally who is this. not reimu i can tell you that much

and something i really love about touhou's character design is the fact it's really easy to make major or minor tweaks to the character in several different ways and still have them not even look out of place. like reimu has a different haircut in almost every game and different artists take a lot of liberties in details of her design but they're all so easily believably reimu.

so. idk. making this figure that contains all the same key elements that make a character recognizable and still somehow making it not look like the character is almost impressive. great(bad) job freeing you made the least reimu-y reimu

#the. I hate how they did her face so bad #i think that's it i think it's her face. it doesn't suit her at all. and like. #what is up with her shirt are you gonna do stupid vacuum sealed shirt or are you gonna have it all floaty. you can't have it both ways #also like. why does like every single unofficial reimu art/merch give her a visible midriff when there's next to no official material- #-that reflects that design. #like im not ... Mad? about it? like it's not necessarily done to even sexualize her it's just treated as a real facet of her design #but almost every single official material Zun drawn or not either makes her outfit baggy with a high waisted skirt #OR gives her a visible undershirt #i just think it's weird idk. it's cuter when it's baggy imo #anyway thanks for coming to my rant post. freeing's koishi figure is even worse somehow<3 #also. one more thing to end this post on a positive note. #moe harukawa's depiction of reimu (the one in the top middle from forbidden scrollery) is like. my favorite reimu design ever #moe harukawa's art is So good i'm forever obsessed with it #bri talks

[timingmatters]

Okay so its been long enough that i ranted and watched elite that idc for it anymore lmao. The shitty writing pissed me off, i ranted about it, and was ready to move on. But something that alarmed me happened today. Like seeing first hand the real life negative effect the messages of the series sent to people.

Its about Patrick’s character. Now i have a lot of issues with him, including the lowkey racist vibes he had towards Omar all season that were never addressed. But more than that, this is about consent. Since ep 1, Patrick tried BLACKMAILING Ander to fuck him to help Omar. After Ander told him multiple times to back off he still fully touched his dick until Ander physically pushed him off and left. This was ep 1. Now, we can rant about Ander and even Omar’s reactions and the drama. But this isn’t about the drama. Is the message of consent being shown in the series. Since ep 1 Patrick’s motivations, directly stated by him, is that saying no to him (including sexually) is a problem for the other person because he always gets what he wants. While the drama and Ander + Omar’ actions caused them to break up, it was directly bc Patrick kept trying to manipulate them both with sex and kept pushing even after he was told no. Not only in the first ep, but even when Ander tried to say they couldn’t have sex anymore because Omar didn’t want to be open anymore. He still kept pushing. He got MAD about being told no sexually.

I talked a lot about the writing from a plot perspective and the drama. But today im here to talk about consent. I wanted to be done talking about this season, but I just saw a post on fb with over 30k shares and likes talking about how they wanted to be Patrick in the club scene with Ander on the first episode (where he kept touching Ander even when Ander was like “mhmmm… lets not” multiple times). While ik the Omander relationship has been fucked by the writers, i still see comments about how Patrick and Ander could have been so good bc they are hot (and this comes directly bc a lot of viewers now don’t care for the plot, even less for the queer characters and the writers are aware, so all their storylines are incredibly sexual and viewers watch it for the sex and how hot it is). I have seen a lot of praise or wanting to behave like Patrick bc is hot. When his character has a horrible view on consent. And a lot of people are romanticizing it. Hell, i have seen feminists share it bc “it was so hot” and no talk on how rapey Patrick’s behavior is the more you think about it. His whole storyline was him being mad he was told “no” sexually in the first episode. People tend to not look at consent as hard when it comes to queer men vs girls in media (and ik girls are the primary victims of assault in real life, but online we don’t talk enough about consent within the lgbt community, including girls. We don’t talk enough about consent with wlw either). And i hate that Elite didn’t necessarily portray Patrick as the good guy, but they never addressed that kind of behavior either.

Same with Cayetana. Her and Phillipe (Philippe? I have seen different wording lmao and i dont watch with subs so idk💀 i forgot lmao). They are a couple this season and a lot of people ship them. So many vids online of their relationship. So many edits of their sex. And i have not seen people talk about how he literally tried to assault her and then said she was leading him on. At the very least, unlike with Patrick, that behavior was called out and addressed in the series, but it was still overlooked fairly quickly. This season of Elite has really bad messages regarding consent and normalizes really bad behavior, and it succeeds in doing so because people online are going with it. Thee storylines and behaviors were not written to start conversations, but rather for drama driven by sex. And for such a heavy sex show, the consent is off a lot.

It just made me really uncomfortable seeing so many people online talking about how hot these situations were and completely overlooking and being fine with how these situations lacked consent so much.

I feel like i was repetitive a lot, but alas is 5am and i’m writing this because i saw the fb post being shared about how hot the Patrick and Ander scene was in s1, when it borderlines (i think even explicitly IS) assault. To put your mouth on someone’s genitalia after they clearly said NO more than once, even if they hesitated a little or said it jokingly, is still assault and i got pissed at people praising it so i wrote this xxx

#elite #tw assault #bc i guess i talk about it i dont wanna trigger anyone!! #omander

[aliensunflower-fics]

In Defense of Salt AND Sugar: Aka ML Fandom pls chill out.

So I don’t talk much as those who follow me will say I tend to just stick to myself and my own things. HOWEVER, Ive gotten a lot of asks about why I write both Salt and Sugar for Miraculous Ladybug.

The short answer: Both salt and sugar are valid, fun, intriguing things to read and write and the point of writing is to entertain and be entertained.

The long answer: Salt isn’t inherently someone hating on your fav show and sugar isn't someone necessarily giving it a free pass either. Ya’ll are just dramatic as hell.

The LONGER answer:

I write salt because I LIKE Miraculous Ladybug, BUT the show has not lived up to its potential AT ALL. The show could be so much better and the characters are so flawed or full of holes that occasionally I feel FRUSTRATED and mad!

I hate that Alya a character who I was so excited about, gets shafted ignored, sidelined, or written like a jerk! She could have been this great detective working alongside her friend to unmask the villain, but instead she often comes across as pushy, obsessed with Ladynoir or Adrinette, and so damn easily tricked. Not to mention how when shes not gushing over her ‘ships’ shes pushed to the side and ignored. [or you know... LILA]

I hate that Marinette’s crush makes her do things that are so cringy and awkward i feel ill I hate that she’s constantly the only one making mistakes and ‘learning lessons’ when the show has all these other great characters that could use the spotlight and be the ones learning lessons. I hate that she’s so jealous and that she cant ever seem to catch a break as if the show is punishing her constantly.

I HATE that Adrien is a mary sue, how the writers say hes perfect and treat him as such, I hate that he gets to guilt Marinette into fixing everything and dealing with bullies, I wanted a funny, Ron Stoppable, naive boy who learns about real friendships and grows into a great partner. Instead he gets to be pushy and downright a jerk as Chat Noir ignoring his responsibilities, guilting Ladybug with his feelings, never taking no as an answer. He’s not a good role model for kids.

I hate that Chloe got built up to have a redemption arc several times only for the writers to decide that Chloe a teenage girl who needs some serious therapy [and actual reasonable punishment for her actions] is worse than Gabriel child abuse Agreste. She could have been a great lesson on compassion and growth and dealing with your own pain without hurting others. Instead the writers wrote her off completely.

And dont get me started on how the show treats Nino, Kagami, Luka and the rest of the cast. They may as well be a backdrop for the forced love square that we NEVER get a break from. Seriously I’m a sucker for romance but does it need to be EVERY damn episode?! Can’t we just get some wholesome friendship between everyone including Adrien and Marinette at this point like COME ON.

And i’m not even touching on the white washing, awful lessons on responsibility and forgiveness, awful lessons on well so much other stuff really, the guilt trips, the teacher, the fact that she show could be used to teach kids how to better handle negative emotions and the importance of open communication and not keeping quiet about injustice and/or your feelings but instead decided that the main priority should be a love square that gets force fed to us EVERY SINGLE EPISODE.

My point is the show has FLAWS. That doesn’t mean its the worse show ever and it doesn’t mean its not fun, and has a great premise and characters, and so when I write Salt I write it because i’m frustrated! Im frustrated with the show, with the characters, with the writing and so I vent that out with salt I write those characters as their worst selves because I cant stand how the show has decided to treat them and Im ANGRY and disappointed.

It feels good to write salt and to read it. It’s nice to see characters get called out for bad behavior, its nice to read about Adrien not getting the girl. Its nice to occasionally indulge in salt because it validates that the show is flawed and lets you get out that frustration.

BUT ON THE FLIP SIDE

Miraculous Ladybug is a lovely show. It’s a show that decided to give little girls a FEMALE HERO. And not just as a side kick or background character! No they made her the protagonist! Its so important to me that little girls see good well rounded female characters in media.

And even if the show is clumsy about it they are TRYING to build an expansive lore that tickles the theorist brain. And gets people invested in the world.

The show also made Marinette shy, and awkward, and clumsy something a lot of girls deal with during puberty as growing up can literally make you clumsier as your body adjusts. Having a character who tries to be positive and tries to find solutions who solves things with creativity instead of pure violence. Thats LOVELY for young girls to see.

Growing up I loved and admired Kim Possible, and probably would have loved Marinette, even if the shows not perfect I can admit its trying and I can see why people love it as much as they do! And why they write these fluffy sugary fics its the reason I WRITE fluffy sugary things.

Because even though I am frustrated and angry and disappointed with the show, I still see Alya’s potential and how great she is as representation to little girls who want a black female superhero so I write fluff where Alya’s loyalty, compassion, cleverness and her pursuit of justice are center stage.

I see how Adrien could be better and I want him to be better and I WANT him to be the naive funny comic relief the Ron Stoppable to Marinette’s Kim Possible. I want Adrien to grow and learn and spit in his dad’s face I want him to overcome the abuse and be happy. To show people that neglect and abuse doesn’t mean you will get stuck like that forever, that you can overcome that and be a better kinder person.

I want Nino and Kagami, and Luka and Chloe and the class to grow and get attention and have funny moments I want to laugh and make other people laugh! So I write prompts focused around comedy and shenanigans and where the characters get to be fun and silly and make decisions for themselves!

SO IN CONCLUSION:

I write salt AND sugar. I see the value and merit in both sides of the coin, and I respect how other people see the show. I know its easy to get angry with other people in the fandom who see the show differently then you do but please can we put down the weapons and just BREATHE.

Someone who writes salt might LOVE the same show as you, and they might in fact love it so much that they vent their frustrations in angst and salt and cracky fics. Let them vent about how they wish the show was better, leave their tags alone or block them if you cant stand to see it. But dont attack salt writers for ‘hating on your show’ when they might love it just as much as you do but want a way to vent out their feelings.

On the flip someone who writes sugar might NOT be forgiving the show for its flaws, they might see all the same flaws as you but decide to take that frustration and write fluff and fix it fics and sugar because they want to indulge in a version of their favorite show where everything is just... OK. Where everyone is well written and happy and the character development sticks. Stay out of their tags let them have their sugar, they aren't writing it to hurt you just like you don't write salt to hurt them.

So ENOUGH. Enough hunting each other down, enough sending each other hate, enough filling each others tags. Let people write SALT if they feel angry and vengeful and disappointment, let them have their tags, let them explore the dark side of the characters, let them rant and rave and be HURT when the characters they love upset them with their actions. Its not your place to tell them to stop, to tell them their feelings are invalid, to tell them that ‘adrien is sweet sunshine boy how dare you’ or ‘alya would never’ or ‘i hate your marinette leaves dupont au’. Just leave it be, heed the tags, and let it go.

AND ENOUGH. Enough hunting each other down, enough sending each other hate, enough filling each other tags. Let people write SUGAR if they just want something to feel happy about. Let them makes coffee shop au’s, let them make fix it fics where everything is just happy without needing 8 pages of backstory for why everything is just happy. Let them squeal and gush and talk about the ship they like and the fluff they see. Its not your place to argue with them that the show is flawed, its not cool to ruin their fun by accusing them of not understanding the flaws, to tell them ‘umm actual this character shouldn’t get to be happy’ or ‘wow this is so shallow’. Just leave it be, heed the tags, and let it go.

PS: Now with that said and done. I do have one final message for everyone - If you write/enjoy pedophilia, if you sexualize KIDS. Then get the fuck out of fandom spaces, stop fucking following me, and do everyone salt and sugar a favor by LEAVING. Your pedophilia and child sexualization aint wanted, aint ok, and I will fight you.

PSS: IF YOU HATE WHAT IVE SAID ABOUT SUGAR AND SALT FINE OK I RESPECT YOU REGARDLESS. ENJOY THE SHOW, STAY CLASSY, DONT HURT PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT OPINION.

#its just me #ml salt #ml sugar #adrien salt #adrien sugar #alya salt #alya sugar #chloe salt #chloe sugar #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #alya cesaire #class salt #class sugar

[xserpentlife]

Care *Smut*

Requested: Kinda, mentioned this yesterday, started as a request but when elsewhere. Orig Request here: Hey hun ease can I have a ddlg little girl smut imagine with sweetpea or fp jones not bothered which where I have been a brat all day and he punishes me thanks so much xx.

A/N: This was created and I accidently went somewhere other than the request, I am also using this as one of the bingo spots on my card: Aftercare. 

Warnings: Smut

Word Count: 2339

There was something off with you today and Sweet Pea could tell from the start. First it was waking you up, you didn’t want to, which was not much different than usual, however, this time you actually cried and Pea didn’t know what to do. You weren’t in pain, you weren’t going through anything really. He just held you while you cried and then eventually got you dressed and to school.

Finally at school when pulling in the drive you began to calm down.

“Wanna tell me what that was about?”

“I dunno, Daddy.”

Another odd thing to add to the list for the day. You were his little girl, mostly only in bed though, and once in a while after play when you slipped into little space. It was very, very odd and concerned him that you were calling him daddy in a non sexual manner while at school. You were often a brat in public, using daddy to turn him on, but this was entirely different.

“Baby girl talk to me”

“Gotta school daddy”

“Be a good girl in class and don’t say anything okay, I’ll see you during free hour”

“Okay daddy” you kissed him on the cheek something you always did while in little space

He was afraid you’d get found out, your kink and little space would be exposed and it would put you in even more of a rut. See no one really knew of yours and Peas' relationship except one or two people. You keep it secret, it is deeply personal. You went through a lot of trauma, falling into little space is your way of dealing with stress and hard times, he could usually make it better pretty quick but this time he had no idea why you fell into little space so hard and so quick. I mean you had both been busy the past few days. Not seeing much of each other than in passing and at night when falling asleep, but you never hid anything from him, and you hadn’t mentioned anything bad at all, so the fact you slipped without him knowing or detecting it made him so upset with himself. He knew he shouldn’t have sent you into class, but you had a test you absolutely could not miss and he was hoping you’d be okay alone. He has learned that when in little space you cling to him like a bear. Turning to your little side is your safe space, but without Pea there would be none of that at all. He is like the base to your tower.

The class could not have ended faster for him, he needed to see you and make sure you were all right. He always waited for you by the lockers. He watched and waited but hadn’t found you. He walked to your classroom and saw the teacher yelling at you. He walked in, not caring about anything in the world, plus he didn’t have this teacher for math. But saw you crying eyes watering red and puffy.

“What the fuck is going on”

“None of your business son, you can’t just barge in my classroom like that”

“I can damn well barge in here when your yelling and up in a girls face for no goddamn reason sir, plus no one fucking talks to my girlfriend like that I don’t care if you’re her teacher or not. You can speak to her on monday” Pea dragged you out of the room, grabbing your hand in the process. Tears still streaming down your face he brought you to a corner in the rec room, thankfully no one was in there, because your friends are usually the only ones there and they were all in class except fangs, but he was with Kevin. All you did was cry as he sat you down, no words coming out of your mouth. He loved you so goddamn much and seeing you cry was always a struggle for him.

“Princess you gotta talk to me or I can’t fix it or at least try to make it better” You shook your head pouting up at him

“Baby c’mon please whyd id he yell at you”

“Said… said i was bad at math and, and then he...” you started balling again.

“He got bad at me cause I got done early and it was so bad, but he, he got mad also cause I got done early and drew on my paper. I don’t get it daddy you always say I can draw!”

“Baby you didn’t do anything wrong”

“He… he yelled yes I did daddy he got mad. Was my drawing not good daddy”

“Im sure it was perfect aby, but sometimes there are things we just can’t draw on”

“Wanted to color but no pages, thought I could make a pretty picture but…” You cried one again Fangs walking into the room Pea glancing back at him.

Fangs found out you had a little space when he had walked into the trailer one day completely beat up and you were coloring on the floor while pea ran to the store.

*Flashback*

“Pea I need… Y/N?” HE saw you sitting on the floor onesie on coloring away on a giant page.

“Hi Fangsy, come color, Fangsy color, pleaseeeeeee”

“Y/N I need you to patch me up”

“I, Uh… fangsy hurt?

“Yeah, can you get me ice and a bandage?”

“Mhm, '' you nodded walking over to the freezer, grabbing the ice before heading to the bathroom and bringing it all back over to fangs. You leaned down pacci hanging from your shirt.

Pea walked in then starting fangs down when he walked through the door.

“What the fuck Fangs!”

“Sorry bro im hurt, I just walked in I didn’t”

“Don't yell daddy! Fangsy hurts”

“Sorry baby girl, can you go into the bedroom and i'll be in, in a minuted”

“You nodded kissing him before walking off to the bedroom” That was the night Fangs learned about your little space. It only made sense he would find out. Him and Pea were always together, so that means you are always there too. SOmetimes you were good at suppressing it, and hiding it but other times it wasn’t so easy. Fangs didn’t necessarily get it at least not at first, neither did pea, but they both supported and were there for you entirely . Fangs was a good support system and closest to Pea, meaning when Pea couldn’t be there, he was.

*end flashback*

“Aww pretty lady why you crying” If pea couldn't calm you down, fangs would come in making you laugh and forget about it.

“Bruce didn’t like my picture”

“Well that means an old man is just an ass hat, I bet your picture was absolutely stunning. Just like its creator, a true artist”

“I not that good”

“Mhm you sure are, i think you should draw me a picture for my apartment, could you do that?”

“Mhm” you nodded your head smiling. Fangs got you distracted long enough to stop crying and calm down some.

“Baby girl yo okay now” you nodded your head slightly still clinging onto him “baby we gotta get to class…”

“Wanna go home”

“Baby we..”

“Want home Pea, need you… please, wanna forget” he knew exactly what it meant. Sometimes you wanted to color, have food made for you, a bath run with pea in it, and other times you wanted him and only him, not just cuddling you want more.

“Okay, let’s go...” He didn’t hesitate, he knew what you needed. In that moment he knew everything.

He tried letting you go to stand up but you didn’t want to. You clung onto him like a bear in the wild. You loved Pea, you needed Pea in more ways than you could even explain. Fangs grabbed the keys from his pocked and unlocked the truck as Pea placed you in.

“Thanks bro”

“She gonna be okay”

“Mhm she’ll be fine just needs some time today to decompress”

“Okay, I know you got her but call if you need anything, and i'll cover for you in class”

“Always bro, and thanks again”

You got to his trailer as he led you to the bedroom sitting you down slowly. He grabbed the silk ties from the bottom drawer slowly kissing along you wrists as he tied them together.

“Baby are you sure”

“Yes daddy want you”

“Okay Princess but you know your safe word right?”

“Mhm..”

“Can you tell me?”

“Avacadoooo” He chuckled to himself lightly remembering back ot the time that you created the safeword. You thought it was so funny because the first time you used it he wasn’t hurting you at all, but you were so overpleasured you couldn’t go on, out you screamed avacadooooo as both you and him simalteanosly ignished. Its one of his funnies and best memories of the two of you.

By now, the amount of times you had been together he could read you like a book. The emaming of every movement the change in tone of every breath sound, he knew ever bit and piece of you, and your life and you wouldn’t have it any other way”

“Good girl” he began tying your hands to the bedpost.

“Want you to fuck me hard daddy, wnat to hurt, want to forget” when you were so subby that you slipped into little space forhours you wouldn’t always know what you needed or wanted. Pea knew you didn’t need to be fucked you needed love.

“You ready baby”

“Yes daddy”

You felt his body press lightly onto your own, he began kissing you, heading up to your neck, probably one of your weakest spots.

“Daddy not fair, you have your clothes on”

“Wanna take them off princess” You pouted up at him, you couldn’t you were tied.

“Well guess they stay on” You began to whimper eyes filling slightly

“Hey hey princess no crying tonight okay, want you happy”

“Always happy with you daddy” He took of his clothes bringing his body to yours once again. His cock already hard. You atche dhim come up to you, his lips ghosting over your own. HIs tip tickled over your entrance as you whimpered for more. He began thrusting slow short at first, then deeper as he went. The quicker they got the more you moaned. His hand found its way up to your neck, a firm grip, your breath halting for a moment. The feeling arousing you to no end. You felt your orgasm building.

“You like that princess”

“Yes daddy” he untied your wrists with a pull, your arms making there way around his neck as he thrusted into you . Head in the crook of his neck you moaned out.

“Daddy I can’t”

“Gonna cum for me princess”

“Mhm, yes fuck daddy”

“Fuck.” He cried out. CUmming  as you came, eyes rolling back into your head he watched you come undone. YOu let out a loud moan of his name, as you felt his hand tighten by accident a second wave of pleasure passed through the both of you. He kissed you on the lips as he laid down next to you, pulling you to his chest. Your breathing remained heavy, your orgasm being one of the stronger ones you've had with pea.

“I didn’t hurt you did I?” Worry overcame him. He never wanted to hurt you. He never wanted to be that guy. He always made sure to protect you, always made sure to make sure that you were okay.

“No you didn’t daddy” you smiled, your eyes fluttering shut as his lips pressed to your forehead.

“I’m gonna run your bath and get you water okay” being with someone for so long helped you realize what they needed after certain things. For you water was number one. A bath always comes second due to the ties and your skin. Luckli silk helped you not get hurt, but it still could leave marks especially with how hard you pull to get away.

He came back and moved the blanket off you watching his release drip out of you. He picked you up placing you in the warm water, before slipping in behind you. You whimpered as you felt him lean you back against him, your hands touching the water and the little marks stinging. It was not a pain you didn’t like. It was nothing that Pea did, everything he did was perfect, but it always made him upset.

“Baby i’m”

“No… don’t apologize, I needed it, thankyou” He leaned down kissing your shoulder blade. You both sat in the water till it became colder. Your eyes began to get heavy. He stepped out watching you shiver from the cold air, as his body heat was removed from your skin. He helped you stand up legs still weak from the session. He grabbed your lotion and helped you over to the bed to lay you down and apply it to you.

“Wanna sleep”

“No baby, not yet or at least lay down so I can cover you in your lotion okay” You laid down, as his hands casted their way over your skin you began to fall asleep, him talking as you closed your eyes. The blanket soon made its way over you, his body coming to touch your back, “I love you” You felt a kiss to your head before you fell into a sweet darkness. Waking up the next day you were better than you had been a while. You thanked him with morning kisses, getting dressed and ready for the day as you both went to Pops for breakfast. He was your rock, your night, the light in the darkness you felt, and he’d always be there.

#sweet pea #sweet pea smut #sweet pea x reader #riverdale smut #sweet pea x reader smut #riverdale #riverdale story #riverdale x reader #riverdale x #riverdale x y/n #riverdale x you #sweet pea x y/n #sweet pea x #aftercare #aftercare smut #riverdale bingo

[pfreadsandwrites]

Hello, can I please request for hilarious and sweet headcanons where Kakashi and Gai are competing for the same girl? Hehe thank you! :)

Hmmm…. This is a tricky one if I’m completely honest cuz I have to put aside the fact that I really struggle to see Gai in a sexual or romantic light (Im so sorry don’t be mad 😭), and beyond that Kakashi and Gai having feelings for the same girl is tricky for me to imagine because I can’t see them necessarily finding the same things attractive… But let’s imagine they are, I mean, in real life, guys aren’t that complicated in what they find attractive lmao. Also I’m not good at being funny (intentionally) but I’ll try.

Also for some reason I’m thinking about that episode of Community where Troy and Abed fight over the librarian woman but ANYWAY.

Kakashi and Gai competing over a girl HCs

So, at first - let’s assume that both men’s feeling for the girl are a little on the casual side. I mean, not that she means nothing, but they don’t know her that well or they aren’t that close. Just because if the feelings for her are very strong or very developed, they might be less willing to fight over her and just see which one she likes - at which point both of them will likely think that their rival is the better man for her lol. Like Kakashi has a penchant for putting himself down so I feel like he’d just straight up tell her he doesn’t think he’s good enough for her and plus he respects and admires Gai a lot even if he doesn’t really say it and would rather him be happy, even if it’s the expense at himself. And Gai’s like no one’s better than my eternal rival Kakashi!! They’re selfless for each other like that. Like, my point is I don’t think Kakashi would be willing to fight over her if he was really serious about her. He’d much more likely not want to force anything or play with her feelings.

But otherwise, they (read: Gai) have a tendency to turn competing for her affection in to one of their dumb rival challenges. And she’s either endeared by it or irritated by it, probably both. Like, maybe Gai wants to see who can take her on the better date. But it might be something dumb like, I heard Y/N likes men who cook! And Gai suggests a cooking challenge and Kakashi’s like you know what, whatever, I’m down. Because if anyone brings out Kakashi’s silly side it’s him.

And poor girl has to eat whatever concoction Gai creates - think that time when Sakura made those black medicine balls - and that um, goes about as well as you’d expect. Kakashi doesn’t even put half the effort Gai puts into his meal but it turns out better much to Gai’s infuriation.

Honestly the challenges take centre stage and the girl quickly becomes an afterthought. Seriously, homegirl is getting delegated to referee without even understanding how it happened lol. Maybe she’s a good sport and she’ll join in and have fun in their having fun, or she’ll be bothered and confused by the whole thing. Like they’re having a race cuz Idk how Gai got in his head that is the way to win Y/N’s heart, but he did, and then when it’s over he asks her who won and she’s just like um… I didn’t see… and he’s like YOU WEREN’T WATCHING ?!WHAT ?! And then he and Kakashi argue about who won ad nauseam. Or maybe she was watching and she’s like… I gotta give it to Gai this time and Kakashi is like … 😒 I thought we had something Y/N… and maybe she feels bad and begins to change her mind and Gai is like wtf how dare.

But still she’ll probably be ticked off or exhausted or maybe she escaped somewhere and they didn’t notice till later or maybe she’s having fun and laughing at them the whole time… But no one really *wins* her over cuz they fucking forgot about her if I’m 100% honest.

Either way, it’s probably a fun/infuriating time for all of them, but I think if either of them actually wanna get anywhere with her they would probably know it’s best to be up front with her, or get to know her separately and let her come to a decision herself.

Another scenario that mayyybeee could happen is them competing over her is in a wingman kinda way. Like maybe Kakashi knows Gai likes this girl, or maybe Gai knows Kakashi likes her, but in either situation they’re both not doing anything about it. So this might encourage them to take things into their own hands and help their buddy out by trying to make a move themselves.

Like, Kakashi might try to turn on the charm which’ll probably infuriate Gai into getting involved or forcing him to actually do something about his crush. Gai would try to do a similar thing to Kakashi but it wouldn’t really work on the girl lmao but it would probably drive Kakashi up the wall.

Or maybe Gai like ropes her into TRAINING and then when the girl doesn’t perform to his standards Gai is like I’m sorry you’re just not tough enough for my rival 😔 you must train harder. And the girl is like what. I don’t want to be his rival.

Or something sadder, like whilst Kakashi is flirting with Y/N and it’s working, but then she’s kinda snobby/callous about Gai? Like she’s so visibly offended by him liking her or she’s rude about him and yeah it annoys Kakashi and he’s pretty much done by that point, he tries to turn Gai off of her but Gai is like impossible to offend but I think Kakashi would feel fairly protective over Gai in situations like that.

Anyway…. That’s all I got for the minute. Really hope I meet your expectations but I don’t think these were that hilarious or that sweet T.T

#kakashi #gai #kakashi hatake #hatake kakashi #naruto #gai x reader #kakashi x reader #pftalks #answered #ask

[spacebell]

a bit of an update/I need to vent

now that January is over I’m thinking back on how I felt the last few months of 2020 and this first bit of the new year. So Christmas and New Years celebrations did not hit that hard this time and for a lot of reasons. My dad’s side of the family couldn’t come to visit (because of corona and my cousin was working and she couldn’t ask for a few days off and my aunt and uncle wouldn’t let her stay home alone) and neither did my brother. We had a curfew to avoid big crowds and we got my cat on Christmas Eve and we couldn’t bring him to my aunt’s house because they have a dog and we couldn’t leave him alone in the house because he was so small. Oh and also, my dad wasn’t really in the mood and we were missing my brother and it was just overall weird. So I didn’t feel bad that I already felt very anxious and not in the mood to party, so no guilt.

My cat has been such a godsend, he has helped me so so so much. Whenever I’m feeling like shit for whatever reason, he either snuggles with me, or I play with him or he’s just doing his thing and just being adorable and it gives me so much serotonin.

I started a new semester of my masters degree and I love the classes I’m taking but sometimes I don’t have the energy to do anything so I procrastinate and get anxious but eventually almost everything works out but it’s exhausting. Also, I think I might have adhd or something along those lines. I know how dangerous it can be to self diagnose but when you see this traits/things people with adhd do over and over again and you do them to it can’t be a coincidence. I know that there are some symptoms that overlap with anxiety so that’s why I’m not sure. Plus the image people have with adhd is a 6 year old boy who can’t stay still for a second and who is failing every class. I’m a 23 year old woman who has had above average grades throughout my academic career and I I’m very lazy. But there are somethings that I see and I’m like “hmmm maybe I do have that, or maybe it’s my anxiety acting up.” Either way, I don’t know and right now I can’t see a therapist to try and work that out so I’m trying to do my best.

I sort of accepted the fact that I’m bi and that Iprobably will be doubting myself for the rest of my life and that’s ok. Sexuality is a spectrum and I don’t have to explain myself to anyone.

I have this urge to just run away and maybe never come back. I’ve talked about this with my parents and one time I jokingly told my mom that I wanted to live in a farm in the mountains and raise sheep and she was like “whatever makes you happy, I’m with you,” and I almost started crying. My parents know, mostly my mom, that I don’t feel like I can be myself here so they keep pushing me to look for opportunities for me to leave and go somewhere I can feel at peace. And I also realized something while watching a video of this youtuber/twitch streamer that I just love, RTgame (he’s a variety streamer, he plays a lot of different video games and his videos and streams are so much fun, even if I don’t play the game I enjoy his content so much) he made a video a couple of days ago about anxiety and just existential dread and how he has been dealing with that (I highly recommend it, he’s a sweetheart) and he’s only 2 years older than me. And he said that when he got the opportunity to live in Japan he took it and how it felt like running away for his anxiety. And oh boy, that’s how I feel but at the same time yeah I want to go to place where I feel a little bit better. So when talking to my parents about going back to my and my brother’s apartment I get a bit anxious, but when I talk to them about going abroad to Europe or Canada or some other place I feel very very excited and I just want to leave right away. And maybe it’s because I get to start from scratch, I don’t have the obligation to visit any relatives that make me feel like crap, I get to be me and let people get to know me. It’s not like my parents or my brother make feel like crap, not really. My parents are doing their very best and I have a great relationship with them where we talk about a lot of things and they have realized times where they were wrong and times where maybe they could have done better. And we talk a lot and I love it. My brother is the best too, he’s not as idealistic or as much of a dreamer as me, but he gets me when I talk to him about leaving.

My extended family is a different story, they are overall nice people, they might be a little bit too traditional and conservative (not necessarily politically) for my liking. And i say this because i have friends and ive heard stories about how their parents are really emotionally abusive and not great people, but my family is not like that. They are very judgemental, sometimes intolerant and not very open minded, and im also talking about most of my cousins (i think that my brother and i are the most open minded of the lot). Also, as a very latinamerican family, they are very nosy (im so thankful that my parents respect our privacy and when we tell them not to share some things they dont do it) and they get mad whenever we don’t share stuff. Also there’s this saying or belief that we have to love our family no matter what and I do not agree at all. They can be shitty people sometimes, very nosy and generally want to give their opinion without even caring if I asked or not. I value privacy a lot, so I don’t ask nosy questions and I expect my boundaries to be respected.

TLDR: I’m feeling much better but I still feel very weird and out of place but that’s ok, progress is not linear and I have to patient with myself

#another long update/rant #mariana writes #mental health

[jcmorgenstern]

Forvige me friend but after last episode I have this sad gross headcanon that Lilith didn't stop her motherly affections just at kissing and now Jonathan has a very wrong idea about sex 😢😢😢 and its all angst and crispy tears

Okay obviously an enormous warning for discussion of sexual assault, CSA, and general abuse. I think that goes without saying.

Considering I’m quite sure y’all are different anons I think y’all are in good company, so I don’t think it’s “”gross”” of you to read the subtext–quite the pposite, in fact. And tbh I also immediately interpreted the full mouth kiss as much more than that, especially with how she treated Jace. Putting the potion in his drink was too explicitly date rape to be an accident on the writers’ part, especially how she flirts with him enough to elicit a “sorry, I have a girlfriend.” Also that slap? Definitely not the first time she’s reacted to someone like that. However, while Clary gets a “I feel so violated” line (and fucking I’m glad she did), Jace gets nothing but getting yelled at for not wanting to stop shocking lilith like….ok. She did make him kill his grandmother but ok. He did blame Clary’s death on himself because of the possession but ok. fine whatever.

So tbh I’m not surprised that Jonathan kissing Clary is interpreted by the fandom as assault (which it is) but Lilith kissing Jonathan is just “weird incest ahahha” or “looks like he gets it from his mom” or just generally cracking jokes. And ok, yeah, it’s hard to take the show seriously because it’s so dramatic sometimes, and Jonathan’s cumulative lifetime of abuse becomes a little cartoonish at times, but honestly? I’m kind of dissapointed that when people do comment on it, they don’t seem to treat it with any gravitas. It’s not assault. He’s ungrateful, she brought him back to life. He’s evil so he deserves it. (Never mind he arrived in Edom at 10, before he’d done anything except shove that kid off a bridge but i guarantee no one who isn’t a crispy stan remembers that).

Also look if we’re being honest here? The way he behaves in 3x16 makes me think of the flashback in 3a where he arrives in Edom and her touch burns him. I’d gotten an anon way before back in 3a asking about this and tbh I was kind of like “er if you want” but i guess anon is better at predicting things than me!! anyway “burning hands/touch” is one hell of a loaded metaphor. And what had been bothering me is that in 2x16 Seb describes the reason for him being burnt as that he was “too beautiful for their world, too pretty” but NOW THAT SOUNDS EVEN MORE DARK FUCK MY ENTIRE ASS WHAT THE FUCK HE’S LIKE 10 WHAT THE FUCK IS NO ONE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS

like at this point I’m more worried about the people who didn’t find that scene disturbing and extremely fucked up and thought it was funny or just more of jonathan’s incest problem. like that’s not the cutest look, y’all. anyway im kind of overreacting because tbh no one really thnks that deeply about jonathan and that’s chill but oh my goddddddd (also tbh I’m a little mad about all the people saying “clary owes him love because he’s abused!1!!” like dude…yes, he deserves a chance, but maybe not necessarily from the person he also abused in turn. if clary chooses to give that (free of coercion), that’s one thing, but saying “oh she lived a good life and he suffered she owes him and she should feel guilty (and fuck him)” is honestly kind of horrifying). Is my discourse showing? Yes and I’m sorry ghaksdjfhg

anyway tldr at this point I’m just frustrated that none of the character’s potential will be realized and they probably won’t acknowledge that hopping from one sexually abusive immortal woman to another immortal probably vaguely exploitative (in terms of a rather comedically extreme age gap and the general baseline toxicity of the relationship in general) relationship but you know it’s fine im over it and totally fine

#csa tw #abuse tw #rape tw #sh spoilers #this is kind of a heavy ask if that wasn't apparent from the questions themselves #i love a crispy boy #crispy chat #friend anon

[eerythingisshaka]

Some Weeks Are Better Than Others Pt. 3

(“...you really did a number on me.”)

M’Baku x Reader

*Part 1* *Part 2*

Word Count: 3.7K

Plot:  You and M’Baku have to be apart for a business trip you are taking.  Leaving him sucks for you both, but career is important and he supports.  But the trip is a lot more than a test of your value to your job, but to your relationship as well.  

*Previously*

After toweling off, he heads for the bed, covers feeling cool against every inch of his skin.  His body begins to wind down from all of the sexual frustration and Jabari disrespect, but is not used to the extra space in his bed.  He is still mostly on his side, but feels over to yours, imagining your curves as his own personal skyline.  He reaches for his phone to check, but nothing is on it from you, just a couple of memes from the other Jabari clowning him endlessly.  He sets it back down, turning toward where you would be.  He was already remorseful, especially since you were right, but he didn’t want to bar his guys from visiting, that is just rude.  He takes a deep breath, drifting off to hopes of tomorrow being better.  

The irritating jingle of his alarm wakes M’Baku slowly as he reaches to turn it off. The soft yellow glow of the sunrise seeps through the blinds as he awakes.  He turns over to reach to the other side of the bed but his hand drops dramatically on the mattress.  M’Baku’s head flies up in distress only to calm down once reality settles in again.  Your body where you once laid for him to snuggle and grind up on in the morning  is now miles away from him.  M’Baku’s face plummets into his pillow, letting out a frustrated huff.  This was going to be a lot harder than he imagined.  Having the house to himself seemed like it might be relaxing but physical touch is M’Baku’s love language and that is just not possible solo.  He tried that yesterday, and it just isn’t the same with you being there.

Rolling off to the side, he sits for a moment, head hanging, collecting his thoughts. It’s a little after 4 am, so you wouldn’t be up just yet, he surmises but picks his phone up anyway.  No message from you, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re still angry, right?  He hopes you will text him anyway, but you were pretty damn pissed so if 10 am comes without an answer, he’ll go ahead.

Rising with a stretch, he goes to the restroom, get dressed and gets some breakfast going.  Heading downstairs, the remnants of last night still lurks in the room.  No time to clean now. he shakes his head to himself, promising that he will talk to his men about treating his space with some damn respect.  Getting the blender ot, he puts together a protein shake to get his body going for the day.  The house is so quiet without you being there.  Even though you didn't have to be up at his work hour, you couldnt sleep without him and sometimes you would blast some old school jams while making him a decent meal before he goes to work.  

Decked out in his Under Armour shirt and Adidas track pants, with his Pumas on, he was ready to get to the gym.  M’Baku has been doing physical training for a few years now.  He dips and dabbles in many different channels of training, but today is just a simple boot camp regime that he advertised to get people right for the summer.  It’s a quick and easy way for people to become interested in his program, and it usually pulls a certain type of clientele.  They come for the workout but stay for him, which he is completely aware of.  But it never becomes more than shameless flirting on their end and once their session is up, it’s done anyway.

Hopping in his SUV, he sets  off to work.  Making his way down a freeway, the trill of a phone call interrupts his Jay Prince jamming.  Your name displays on his dash, causing his heart rate to rise a little, thinking fondly that you still can't rest at this hour.  But also, will you be mad or over last night by now?  M’Baku picks up.

“Hey, whatchu doin up this early, love?”  He asks tentatively.

You say groggily, “I couldn’t sleep much more.  You know I’m always up at this hour but I think I’m nervous about the first day.”

M’Baku nodding says, “Oh, please.  You got this (Y/N).  You come this far, you’re just getting your feet wet.  Once you are in it, you’ll probably be bored to death.”

You smile to yourself thankful for his encouragement.  “Yeah it’ll definitely be bored with all these white folks trying to pep us up in the world of business and commerce.  You headed to work?”

“Yeah, might even be early this time,”  M’Baku says, reaching for his shake taking a sip.

A police car zooms up to M’Baku’s car.  The officer is looking at M’Baku for entirely too long since he is driving on the highway.  M’Baku looks at him through his peripheral.

“Did you get some real food in you instead of just that protein lab created mess?”

M’Baku screwing his face up in a knot, “Yeah, I just got some fruit and a bagel.”

The police officer is still parallel to him.  M’Baku looks over once and the officer has a radio in his hand, talking into it, looking him dead in his eyes.

“We were out of bagels when I left…” you say suspiciously.

M’Baku chuckles nervously, “I am capable of replenishing the fridge, you know?”

M’Baku keeps looking forward, he switches lanes to make the next exit.

You, not convinced, “Riiiight.  Well I’m going to lay a little more until I have to get ready.  Drive safe.”

“I will, go get em.”  But you already hung up.  Nodding to himself, M’Baku says,“Ok, we are still mad.”  Looking in his rearview, the police car is gone.

That wasn’t the worst conversation you all had, but the tension was still there.  M’Baku didn’t want to engage with you about it head on since you are just starting our first work day, but he does not like for arguments between you guys to go unresolved, he faces the issue head on and talks it out.  So for now, you win, but the war ain’t over.

M’Baku pulls up to the gym, Baerobics.  It has a reputation of hiring the best trainers that are the best looking.  It won’t discriminate though, since everyone has their own taste, but it is practically a workout buddy meat market.  M’Baku was a popular choice for clients but he believes in his work so the turnover rate is a little high, but those that stick around are either dedicated or paying for a show, which is still a win-win either way.

Swiping his key card, he makes his way inside.  The receptionist says good morning as he makes his way to his space to set up for his first appointment.  It’s 5:45 am, so he had a little time to look at his emails.  

There’s a knock at his office door, and it’s the receptionist.  

“Hey, how ya been, big guy?”  She asks in a cheery tone.  

“I’m great, Cheryl.  You have a good weekend?”

She rolls her eyes, walking in like the details are too juicy to keep at the door.  She is a brunette, 5 foot nothing, menopausal caucasian.  She talks too much, but is good people.

“I thought you’d never ask.  I told you about my nephew?  Well, he has his graduation coming up.”

“Coming up?  It’s already halfway through May, you didn’t mention it before.”  M’Baku leans in, inquisitively.

“RIGHT?! I didn’t know until now!  He is so secretive, and unsocial, I can’t wrap my head around that guy anymore.  My sister is in shambles, trying to plan out the party on such short notice.  Cake, photographer, venue, inviting family.  I try to tell her to cool it, and keep it small, but she is not a friend of common sense.”

M’Baku discreetly looks at his computer’s clock.  His appointment should be there any minute.

“Well, if you guys need any help, just let me know.  I love decorating, and I could bring a dish or two.  I feel like family, as much as you talk to me about them.”

Cheryl covers her heart, “Ohhh, M’BAKU, you are a saint made for sin!  I’d love to see those hands do delicate work!”  Laughing out loud, landing a hand on his forearm.  She is like an aunt to you, but her jokes always make her infatuations clear.  

The bell at the front door rings faintly in the background, making Cheryl jump up.  

“Oh!  We’re open!  So I will text you later this week about the details, because we could use all the help we can get.  Plus I have someone I’d love for you to meet.”

M’Baku raises his hands in protest, “No, no, no, Cheryl, I have a girlfriend.”

Cheryl turns mouth agape, “Still?? Wow, she must be a keeper then.  Well, she is friendly, so it may happen regardless, she knows boundaries though.  Thanks again!”

Cheryl leaves, M’Baku rubs his eyes in frustration.  Why did he sign up to help her?  He doesn’t know when it will be and for how long.  He doesn’t even know her people, what if their racist as fuck?

He gets an IM from Cheryl, You have a visitor!  

M’Baku types back a thank you and gets up to look out in his studio.  

“M’BAKU!  Getcho fat ass out here boah!”

He knew that voice anywhere, Akoje made his way to the stude.

“Akoje, what are you doing here man?”

Akoje was binding his locs into a bun on top of his head.  Bouncing on his toes, his tall lanky frame was decked out in some bright neon patterned tights and a one-piece that said “I Need a Baker”  with the face of the referenced singer.

“I’m cashing in on my free trial session, Kukie.”  He says as he drops down to do burpees.

“I gave you, like five of those, which was four too many.” He says through gritted teeth.

Akoje pops back up to standing, “Oh, you keep count?  Well then shit, just help your Jabari out, I have no means of training.  Look at me, I am flab and bones.”

He turns sideways, practically doing a backbend to show off a non-existent belly.

“Ayye, go on with all of that, man. You should have had a membership of your own now.  You could get your steps in by cleaning up my place for the mess you all made.”

Akoje lifts his hands in innocence, “Hey, that had nothing to do with me, you know Ogoro is on his see-food diet.  We told him to slow up, but luckily the toilet wasn’t too far.”

M’Baku claps his hands in excitement, “And another thing!  What the fuck happened in my bath-”

The door to his studio creeks open.

“Hey, sorry I’m late, traffic was pretty crazy today.”

M’Baku’s real first client comes in.  Her yellow bone body, looked like gold melted into some hot pink fashion nova workout gear that does not hide a single aspect of her figure, which itself is nothing short of an advertisement for being someone’s trophy wife.

She lays down her bag and water, and Akoje in entranced.

“Ok, scrap the training, lemme be your assistant today.”

“No.”

“Come on!  I been wondering about becoming a trainer anyway.”

“No.”

“I will pay YOU to let me do this.”

M’Baku pauses, then hold out his hand, “Gimme $20.”

Akoje unzips a side pocket on his legging and slaps it in M;Baku’s hand, looking back at the client Birdman style.

M’Baku pockets the money, “Now get out.”

Akoje looks back incredulously, “Man, I gave you the money!”

The client looks at them cautiously, then back to her phone.

M’Baku starts loudly, “Yes sir, thank you for catching up on your sessions, but I am with someone at the moment so please ait in the lobby until we are done here.”  He takes Akoje by the arm and leads him out the door.  

Once outside Akoje points back at M’Baku saying, “You ain’t shiiiiit.  You better give me some details later!”  Right before M’Baku closes the door.

M’Baku turns back to his client, “I am sorry about that, forgive me.  I am M’Baku, I will be your Baerobics instructor this week.”

The client giggles holding out a manicured hand, “No problem, it was kind of cute to see.  You all cousins or something?” she says with an accent from somewhere South.

“Yeah, we are.  A little too close in relation if you ask me.”

“Oh cut him a break.  I wasn’t sure who was my trainer so maybe he should consider it.  I’m Kenie by the way.”  She flashes a Colgate, dimpled smile that caught M’Baku a little by surprise as she puts her hand out for a firm shake.

“Kenie?”  M’Baku repeats.

“Yeah, like Kenny from South Park, just spelled different.  It’s short for Kennedy, but my friends call me Kenie.”

“Oh, ok.  Well then Kennedy it is.”  He says, before chortling out loud.  Kenie made a face, pushing him at his chest, as he feigns injury.

“My goodness, you are stronger than you look,  Ms. Kenie. How could you?”

“Yeah and you are only soft in feelings, I see.”  She says, shaking her hand like she just punched a brick wall.   Kenie was very charismatic so far but M’Baku knew how to keep it casual and professional.

“So let’s just go over to my office and do a questionnaire about you dietary and training needs”

He pulls out a chair for her as she arches her butt out to sit.  Maybe she can’t help it, but M’Baku kept his gaze averted.  He makes his way to the other side, her eyes follow his body until he is seated, and they get started.

M’Baku starts his introduction, “So, I like to start my sessions just asking what your goals are, and what you’re looking to improve on during these sessions.”

She crosses her arms under her breasts, looking off into space, “Well, summer is approaching, so you know bikinis and pool parties are happening real, real quick.  So I just want to make sure I’m toned up, some definition on my stomach,”  she looks down feeling her flat tummy, “And get my arms right, legs tight, all that.”  

M’Baku looks her over as she points to her ‘problem areas’, “Yeah, you have a good foundation in your midsection, I can tell.  But there’s plenty to do that’ll get you toned, just have to mostly watch your diet to make sure it appears.”

Kenie rolls her eyes, “Ugh, I know!  I just love my carbs though, it’s a struggle.”

M’Baku chuckles, “Yeah I love them too, sweets as well, but it’s about moderation and discipline to get the results.  You won’t have to give them up too long though, I don’t believe in completely abstaining from what you crave.”

Kenie leans forward, hands on her knees, biting her lip looking over his desk slightly.  “I know, I agree completely.”  M’Baku was not sure if they were talking about sweets and carbs anymore.

Clearing his throat, “Ok, so we can do some little warm up exercises just to see where your fitness level is.”

Back in his studio, M’Baku requests her to do some squats, watching her form.  She is hesitant every time she goes into it.

M’Baku approaches her, “Try to keep your back straight as you go down.”  She nods, attempting again.

“Not quite like that.  Carry your chest high and try again.”  He puts his hand to her upper back as she goes down.

M’Baku touches under her bicep, “Arms up and lean back a bit further.”

She looks like she is fighting back a smile, but she turns into a pro at it after a few rounds.

“Good, again.”  M’Baku commands.

She breaths and goes.

“Perfect, now lower.”

She goes, little lower for two rounds.

“Ok, I think you can go lower.”

She does, smiling broadly now.  “I can definitely do that…”

“Yeah, that’s it! Good. Ok stop.  That was great!”

She smiles, fanning herself,  “No thank you!  Seeing that in the mirror was a treat.”

“Yeah, your form really locked in once we got going.”

“Mhmm...once I get going, it’s hard to stop, especially when it feels good, you know?”  She says with an odd expression

M’Baku nods looking away for a second, “Ok, now we’ll move on to some ab workouts.”

M’Baku gave her a full body workout: Abs, arms, lower body, cardio, stretching.  She didn't seem to be a stranger to the gym, but she may have been nervous because everytime M’Baku came close to target specific parts of her body that she needed to watch, she really listened and seemed renewed with purpose.

“Thanks again for the session, you really did a number on me.”  She takes his hand.

“No problem at all, you are a great student!  So is it the same time tomorrow?”

“Sure!  I may be walking funny, but I’m sure you’re used to that effect on people.”

As she left, M’Baku went to his phone, checking to see a snap from you.  It’s a picture of a meal captioned ‘Continental breakfast=TRASH’  He smiled, sending her an SMH text.  Back in his office, his studio door opens and AKoje bursts in, “Yo, that baby girl you were bending over and shit is having car troubles, you got jumper cables?”

M’Baku goes down to survey the scene.  Kenie is long faced before she see’s M’Baku approaching.  

“Hey, M’Baku, I am so sorry.  Your cousin offered your help before I could figure things out.  You don't have to, but I just can't get the damn thing to start.”

“Yeah, lemme get the cables.”  

M;Baku pulls his car in next to hers and pops the hood so start the process.  A couple of turns and she finally has power again.

Looking relieved, she yells out the window, “You are a godsend!  Thank you thank you!”

M’Baku unhooks the cables and comes over to her window, “It was nothing, we can't have you stranded on your first day.”

“I will have to repay you!”

“No, don’t worry about that.”

“Please!  I got you, I won’t take no for an answer.  I’ll think of something.  But for now, I will see you tomorrow”

She pulls off and Akoje is slow clapping.

“What in Hanuman’s name are you doing?”

Akoje stops and laughs, “My my, I should be asking you the same thing!  What was that?!”

M’Baku is confused, “You told me she needed help, so I came to do that.”

Akoje nods, “Mhm, and she is going to come back to do you, trust me.”

“Ayye!  What kind of language is that.  You know that’s not going to happen.  You shoot your shot, ok?”

“Oh I plan to trust, but I actually don't know.  I’m smart but no psychic, but a rocket scientist isn’t needed to judge that she wants that ass man.”

“I'm not stupid.  She isn't the first to come on to me, if she even was, I never entertain that, you know.”

“Yeah except she isn’t ugly or crazy acting.  I’m just telling you to watch your back. As far as handling all that ass, I know she could use your help getting real loooow, and DEEP into those exercises.”  Akoje says with throaty bass in his voice.

M’Baku brushed off Akoje’s talk.  M’Baku is as wild about you as you are about him, so no instagram model is going to take his heart that easily.

Later that day, after going through his appointments, he starts to head home, exhausted and sweaty to the nth degree.  A call comes through on his dash, Mama.

M’Baku clears his throat before picking up.  When his mother calls, he never knows if it is to say hello, how are you, or to cut him down to a nub for not calling or coming around more often and not appreciating her.

“Hello, Mama, what’s up?”  M’Baku says in a cheery voice.

“What’s up?  Is that how you greet you mother?  Try that again.” she says sourly.

M’Baku rolls his eyes, “How are you doing today, mama?”

“Oh, I am doing great, Kuku!”  Renewed with a bubbly personality.  “What are you doing now, my son?”

“I am headed back to the house, probably relaxing for the evening.”

“Ohhh, you work so hard all the time.  You deserve it.  But don’t act like you are 80 years old, you have it so much better than me or your father did at your age.”

M’Baku’s mother was pretty good at building up to a compliment and adding a criticism at the exit door.

“Yes, I know mama.   Did you need something?” he says exasperatedly.

“Oh, I thought you’d never ask.  Well, I could use some help with this new shelf your father bought but will not read the instructions for.  So now it is some abstract art piece in the middle of my floor.”

“Ok, I can do that.  Maybe I’ll come by this weekend to do it?”

He hears her kiss her teeth, “Eh, you super busy this week or something?  Does the girl have you running around for her, waiting at her hands and feet?”

M’Baku shakes his head, accelerating, “No, mama, she is out of town this week for work.”

“OH!!” she exclaims.  “Then you should take me out!  It’s been so long since you and I had mother-son time alone.  How about that?”

M’Baku thought about this for a beat.  It had been a while, not because he didn't like to see his mother but it’s so busy working and taking care of your own problems before adding on someone else's.  They used to get into some heated discussion over this, especially since being with you, but she seems to have adjusted for the most part.

“Ok, that sounds good then.  I’ll call you when I have the time.”

“Ok, Kuku.  Muah, I love you!”

“Love you too, mama.”

Making it back inside, he is greeted yet again with the mess left from the day before.  Yet again, he is too tired to even deal.  Whipping his shirt off, he adds it to the pile of mess and makes his way upstairs to shower.  As the water ran down his head to his body, he thought about his day.  He will have to cancel with Cheryl because of his mom, so for once, thank Hanuman for her calling.  Getting his washcloth lathered, he worked on his chest and torso.  And that girl, Kenie.  Something seemed different about her than others he had seen.  Neck and face done, he works his sensitive areas and crevices.  Clearly she flirted, but that wasn’t it.  She was really interesting for some reason.  He turns the cold water up some to rinse off, shaking his head as the water cascaded down.  

Then the thought that he hadn’t heard from you all day came into his mind, so he hops out of the shower and makes his way to towel off and goes to the bedroom.  Picking his phone off the charge, he looks at his messages.  Nothing, not a single text or missed call from you.  It’s only 6 pm so your day might not be quite over yet, but you send a text to her just asking what’s up.  Walking away he gets a text almost immediately from you.  

Yeah, fine but we need to talk. 

*Part 4*

Other Works:

King Kil’mawalls

N’Jadaka’s Helpful Hands

T’akia

Commencement Day

The Ragtag

@sweetpeachjones  @hairhattedghooligan @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @universalbri

#m'baku #m'baku x reader #mbaku x reader #mbaku #wakanda #black panther #marvel #fanfic #mbaku fanfic #m'baku fanfic #black panther fanfic

[nicesideburns]

imma post this here ab my 2 cents abt the animu 

srry my text is for ants on this blog heres a link where its more readable

Devilman Crybaby [SPOILERS]

OKAY I JUST WOKE UP AND PROBABLY FORGOT MOST OF THE STUFF BUT LETS DO THIS SHIT So, I personally enjoyed Devilman Crybaby FULLY as I've been one of the many devilman friends that have been dying for material that stay loyal to the material. And surely Crybaby DID deliver. Although some aspects have been translated to a more 'modern' approach opposed to the 80s. I know just about EVERYONE is like where's the SIDEBURNS and as someone who loves sideburns...sorry that trait kind of burned out way back then. So, I can understand what they were doing with the designs because its Modern times. Especially in anime, there's more different hairstyles that are IN right now that hasn't been the classy 80s look. So, it was bound to change in that aspect. My advice, if you can, indulge on the original material crybaby is based off of. Although some warnings because people have been rightfully mad about the portrayal of the women in the source material (which I will try to cover) as it's heavily present back then as well. Go Nagai has been Known about this issue with his series, so it's sad to say that this was also to be expected. Anyway, I'm getting side tracked just a bit. But the source material and modern Adaption are the same yet different. Also to keep in mind that Devilman was NEVER meant to be happy in the end. Just in case people are upset about the ending Crybaby IS, as I've stated before, the modern take of Devilman and because of that factors to the original story itself has been changed up. In my opinion, it's not a huge issue as I've read all of Devilman and even the OVAs, I believed they touched up on each arcs well. Even translating them into episodes despite making some adjustments to it. Personally, as each episode developed I could easily remember that certain arc of the series and be like God this takes me back. They're different, yet they play parallel with the original source material. I also REALLY can't complain about the pacing because Devilman itself did go that fast (with some bits of moments). In fact, it was one of the key things I was worried about with them dragging certain aspects too long and making things worse. Now let's see one of the things I wanted to touch. The explicit horniness of said subject matter? Primarily how 100000x hornier the demons, typically Sirene, get to gain their Raw Energy to fight. Which I thought was very Weird, since it wasn't like that in the original. Mainly it was, if I'm remembering correctly, left with Akira becoming Devilman. It's kind of a like a more Upped the scales puberty hitting him like a bus because his personality DOES change and he DOES get 10000x hornier. I guess they tried to convey that through the normal teenager looking up porn, masturbating, and engaging sexual activities. Not saying it was right to convey it like that or necessarily wrong because in the original Akira HAS made rather crude remarks toward Miki and even groped her. So it's like I guess this is better. I GUESS. But having it contribute to come demons, like Sirene, felt really I don't know off? In my taste. Especially Sirene because she was Amon's lover before Akira took him away and she wanted him back. I felt they just, as CJ puts it, that horny single desperate housewife opposed to the deadly yet beautiful being demons looked up to. IDK I guess what I'm saying is that it felt weird not acknowledging Akira as Not Amon but instead Amon and engaging with him before attempting to kill him. Even though in the past she KNEW Amon was taken from her and even acted out to take Miki from Akira to (imo) 'prove a point' of having a loved one taking from you. Literally her whole arc is focus on murdering Akira to bring Amon back because thats her lover. Not just...I'm horny n miss that sweet demon dick. When it really was, why did a human TAKE the one powerful thing I've loved type of deal. But I still love her... Another thing I wasn't too happy about was the whole Ryo thing. I guess they didn't want to explore to much on him because it was just 10 episodes and little time to cram everything. But Ryo (like prior to like ep 8 n beyond I think), has done some personal exploration on himself and patching things together on himself. I literally wasn't happy myself when they changed the aspect of him being adopted by some doctor in the original material, but instead some dude he found in Peru. It kind of killed his development and mystery in a sense because in the crybaby verse he's famous and well loved by all. When in the original it was different in terms of that (I can't really explain because my memory is hazy), but he does start off as NORMAL like Akira. (TOUCHING ORIG SPOILERS) Had a dad he believed to be his dad and raised based on research until he noticed his father was being strange. That's why he sought Akira because of the outcome of his father and the research he was doing, so he wanted to dig deeper. But of course, way later in the story as we near the apocalypse, Ryo began to patch things on his own to the relation to his father and the way he talked to him. Not heavily specific but I remember the one famous scene old fans remember when his father attempted to murder Ryo and Ryo remembered it as him going 'mad' from the demon. Yet upon later reflection we come to figure out while what happened to the father is TRUE, the father himself grew to knew that something was wrong with Ryo. That Ryo never was his son and was something Else. Hence, the keypoint of us and Ryo realizing that the father was right and Ryo is something else. It was a shame that had to be cut back and adjusted heavily with Peru to explore that aspect. They did touch on this a bit in crybaby with how Akira struggled being Devilman and facing his own demons, Ryo spent his time reflecting and researching to find out what he was. This wasn't explored as much as I would fancy, but again, 10 episodes. But this has been touched on in the manga where a portion of the time it was Akira's dilemma then to Ryo's. It's probably because they wanted to build onto Akira's character as well as the supporting characters to highlight their importance to one another, especially with Akira. Which I can say I was satisfied with because I appreciated being attached to said characters. I can say for sure I enjoyed their approach with the track team and the focus on familial relationships. I would also like to briefly touch on that rapper guy, Koda or something. I didn't like his approach being the token gay man to later join the demons. It felt tasteless in my eyes to make him like that. But I did enjoy his struggles being a devilman and the loss he underwent to see that, like Akira, still have their human heart and experience grief much like Akira. It was a really nice touch. Also, we gotta talk about the big elephant in the room: Ryokira. Crybaby didn't really focus too much on how close the two was in my opinion and only briefly touched it in the beginning half before shifting more on Akira and his relationships with the others. WHICH IS A SHAME... But people are complaining about how they didn't focus on the gay enough and blahblah fujoshi stuff. But it's limited time. But the two have been shown to be Very close to each other and even points where Akira, himself, would stand up for Ryo even if Ryo clearly did something wrong. Which caused tension between him and Miki because he held Ryo at a high standard than anything which can be shown in old material stuff. The same can be said with Ryo because he legit does like Akira in that aspect (coughgay) but its shown in other portion of the Devilman saga and whatnot. but Ryo is KNOWN to actually LOVE Akira to the point he found Miki distasteful (yeah one of Go Nagais token problems) around him and Akira. Espcially with the final episode, with the whole Mad At Myself scene because it highlights his regret killing the one being he truly loved. It was a damn shame their relationship wasn't explored much to gain that depression strings unless, like me and others, are familiar to the original material and very well known about this beforehand. But it was pretty Vague in crybaby imo. ANYWAY I think I've got some of the key points because I'm worn out and tired.There's probably more I'd like to explore and briefly point out especially with how ass and tiddy it is. But to keep it short and simple it's literally has been like that with Go Nagai's materials sadly and one of his many problems. But I can't touch on it much due to me being sick and my foggy memory but im sure there are others that can expand on this. I've overall personally enjoyed Crybaby as it didn't disappoint and I really did enjoy the new approach on some materials and execution. It's not Perfect perfect but at least it doesn't exaggerate too much with the material like the OVAs have done. The OST was good as hell too. Overall Abel score I'd give it...an 8/10 that's what I'm feeling

#ur shit doc is speakin #long ass post abt my take on c////r////y///bb

[thekintsugikids]

ok so i KNOW this is dumb but i need to rant.

so i watched the new riverdale (which is probably more than enough of a reason for any of you to not read this and trust me—i understand). and ho. ly. shit. i have genuinely NEVER been so mad at a tv show in my whole fucking life.

i’ll admit here and now that i still watch riverdale, because i am unwaveringly stubborn and i’m seeing this shit show through to the end. so things that seem, from a surface level, pretty genuine, anger me more than they should because i know the context of this bullshit. which means that, if you’re reading this, you’ll have to hear all of that shit so i can fully explain my anger.

so the episode is like. almost entirely based around the high school’s guidance counselor (who everyone is conveniently going to for therapy, even a character who goes to another school, but i can’t even be mad at riverdale for using a shitty mcguffin like that. it should be expected) where all the kids talk about their fucked up lives. that’s cool, i can accept that. riverdale does some dumb shit, but if they’d just done a psychological deep dive into their characters after all the trauma they’ve been through over the course of two and a half years? sure. I’ll bite. but this is riverdale, a show that somehow seems to be written by teenage interns who have never written a script in their life and 40-somethings who have never met real teens in their lives, so that’s not what we got. no, what we did get was this shitty school counselor listening to the characters unload genuine emotional trauma about their parents, and hear the counselor basically say, “they’re just trying to protect you.”

now allow me to explain why that is absolute fucking bullshit.

Betty’s mom forced herself into her daughter’s counseling session, because Alice ran to the high school guidance counselor to ask how she should deal with her daughter being sexually actively—which already, big fucking yikes. after a couple of minutes of back and forth about how Betty is being denied by her dream college because she’s having sex and irresponsibly disregarding her future in doing so (which again, huge red flag but let’s put that on the back burner for like two seconds). the counselor decides that they should do a joint session to work some shit out. ok. fine. whatever. moving on.

Betty says her mom lying to her whole life impacted her negatively. which yeah, that actually makes sense. in less than two years her mother went undercover with the fbi and joined a cult, without telling her own child that she at least didn’t believe in what the cult preached, gave away all the money she had saved for college to said cult, and was working with her half brother who Betty believed was dead (this is riverdale it’s a lot to unpack and i don’t blame you if you stop here bc ive been watching this show since 2017 and im still confused when i read that). she also had Betty’s sister committed to the sisters of quiet mercy, which is basically a disciplinary school for literally anything and everything under the sun (pregnant teenagers, mentally ill children, and conversion therapy are a few things we’ve seen it used for), and didn’t tell Betty that her sister was there, or that she was pregnant. her parents let her believe that her sister was a drug addict in rehab, because that was better than anyone knowing their daughter was pregnant, and then ofc that Alice reads her diary because she refuses to let her daughter have any semblance of privacy. keep in mind, this whole episode started with Alice opening Betty’s mail, seeing that she didn’t get accepted to Yale, and telling her that she searched her room to see “what could be distracting her from her future” (and then gets mad at her for having birth control). her mother says, “I just wanted to protect you.” okay, fine. whatever, that’s total bullshit, but fine.

but then!!! she has a breakdown about how she wants Betty to be better and she’s scared of her growing up and she just wants her to be safe which. ok. ok. ok. shut up. she’s said this EVERY. SEASON. OF THE SHOW. how many times can she say the exact same thing and never learn from it? but Betty isn’t having that shit, she’s been dealing w this shit for so long and she’s done, right? she’s growing up, and her mom would have to be incredibly naive to think that she could just stop that, especially when they are living w her bf’s family. like yeah, they live together. they share a room. they’re teenagers, they’re gonna have sex. who. fucking. cares. her mom then tells Betty that it’s because she’s her favorite child, which........Yikes. and the scene ends.

the weird thing is like.....we’re meant to sympathize with Alice??? after everything she has done—much of which i didn’t touch on—because.............Betty’s her favorite child?????? that’s???????? SUPPOSED TO JUSTIFY THE THINGS SHE DOES?????????? no no no NO what the fuck is THAT manipulative bullshit?? what the fuck. i can’t even think of anything else to say about that, what the actual fuck.

but the real kicker ooooooooh bitch. it’s the end of the episode, with Jughead. many other things happen between the Betty’s session and Jughead’s, but they don’t necessarily fit into what I’m trying to say so I won’t be talking about it. but holy shit the things she said to Jughead? for context, Jughead’s father is an abusive piece of shit. he has gotten violent with his own son, threatened him, abandoned him for his gang when the rest of their family moved out of state to get away from him (Jughead’s dad), and he is an alcoholic who did things like getting drunk at Jughead’s 15th birthday party, and that’s just the cliff notes version. basically he’s a grade-a abusive asshole, which is a field i am well-versed in.

FP, Jughead’s father, says that his father was an abusive drunk, so obvs the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. one of the the biggest issues with this show, though, is that they refuse to acknowledge that FP himself is abusive. like, even writers of the show have said that he is not abusive, even saying that viewers were ignorant to believe that he is (and as someone with an abusive father, first of all, fuck you). and Jughead is on a mission this entire season to prove that his grandfather was some great writer or whatever and his work was stolen from him.

now, how exactly does any of that relate to the discussion at hand?, you might be asking. well he’s at riverdale high to get his transcripts or whatever bc he’s at a new school and they’re all assholes (no, im not going into further explanation of that because there is way too much to unpack). so he’s w the guidance counselor, they talk about it and she has the fucking gall to say, “but think about how your father must feel about all of this???” which, okay, i see where she might be coming from. FP was abused by his dad. but Jughead is also abused by FP, so why the fuck should he worry about whether or not he’s hurting his father? FP irreparably damaged Jughead—I promise you all that being homeless, being hit and threatened by your father, being abandoned by your entire family? that’s not shit you can repair. you don’t just fix that shit. that stays with you.

the counselor tells Jughead that he should be proud of the man his father worked to become (like he isn’t still horrible to Jughead????? for example, forcing him to go to a school that he does not want to go to because it makes their family look better??? ok), she says FP is just supporting his son. and the real kicker—she says, “and you repay him by going on this quest to prove that the man that caused him immeasurable pain is some kind of wronged hero? how do you think that makes him feel?” (that is the quote verbatim, by the way. that is what she says so Jughead)

like FP has earned something from Jughead. like Jughead is in the wrong for not wanting his name to be seen as a joke. no, this is how you repay him for everything he did for you. FP abused his son. it’s literally that fucking simple. and Jughead didn’t even want to talk to this lady, she forced him into the conversation while he waited for fucking transcripts so he could apply to colleges. and we, the audience, are supposed to be on the counselor’s side. we’re supposed to say “yeah Jughead, look at everything your dad has done for you! he loves you!!”

Jughead even says it himself. “My poor dad. I’m so selfish.” like his dad deserves his respect. like he earned Jughead’s respect. like FP deserves a single goddamn thing from his son.

keep in mind, this is a show that’s biggest demographic is people under 20 and they are basically telling their audience that their parent’s abuse is just because they’re “protective” or because they’re “trying to help them.” guess what, that’s not fucking true. if your parent, or ANYONE, is abusing you, it is because they are fucked up. it is not because they love you, it’s not because they “want what’s best for you.” and how dare anyone, let alone fucking Riverdale, try to tell me that it is. no, as someone with an abusive father, i fucking promise you, this shit is not out of love. abuse is not love. and fuck Riverdale for trying to tell me that it is.

#i put the whole thing in a read more link bc it includes personal shit that i dont want a bunch of ppl to just like. see. #and it focuses HEAVILY on the topic of abuse so pls do not read it if that makes you uncomfortable #also its v long #like. very. very long. #so if literally no one reads it thats fine #it probably doesnt make a whole lot of sense but i just kind of needed to unload my thoughts because i am so genuinely upset #k anyway bye #also please #don't reblog #for the love of god please dont or i will delete the whole goddamn thing

[youraplaya]

Breathe

Something that I’ve realized after 2 years of self-reflection is whats underneath all my faux confidence in myself. It was really just a comfortable spot of indecision that masked my insecurities and self doubts. I never realized how extremely fearful I am of vulnerability. I’m afraid of what people will think of me when I no longer control my narrative. I’ve gotten really good at determining what other people see in me and feeding into that narrative. It’s not necessarily who I am all the time either. Its who I assume I should be in the most basic sense. A long time ago people decided who I was ...stereotyped, classified, and judged me before they even met me. My closet friends decided who I was in their eyes without bothering to ask what I thought. And i went with it. The narrative was close enough and it shinned a bright light on me. It gave me an avenue to succeed in, but it made me complacent. I became vulnerable and eventually insecure with how I applied myself - I think my family suffers severely from the fear of vulnerability and failures. I started striving for just above average and I was good at it. This narrative of me allowed me to work hard, but not for myself. I wasn’t completing projects for me I was doing them, because they were expected of. Which works out fine for a while, but this narrative began effecting me as a human being. Because feelings always find their own way to express themselves. I was so unhappy with myself. Entities of my life that were most important to me, reflected nothing of me. I realized that non of my friends were anything like me. I always valued uniqueness in others and had no problem befriending those who were. But now I find myself surrounded by people who i accept are so different from me, but who don't accept my differences. And from fear of rejection I found a way to get comfortable with who people wanted me to be. I allowed people to to create my prison and I redecorated and made myself at home.  And when my narrative began to fail me, it really shook me to my core. I found things i desired to be unattainable bc of this prison I called home. I realized how unhappy i was with all those entities in my life. This narrative had found a way to infiltrate the most important parts of my being. It shifted from a social facade to a coping mechanism for any sign of failure and vulnerability. Love/rejection has caused me more pain than I chose to acknowledge. I’ve always been a lot more emotional than I let on. My passion for life scares me. I love soo easily and so hard that it’s easy to be hurt. It hurts so much because I am aware of how much I can extend for others. How much I truly love other people. I also am aware of how little people share a passion like that as well. I don't want to attach myself to someone who can not love the way i am willing too. My mom doesn't understand, but my need to distance myself from relationship is because i deem them worthless. Not the concept of them but the ideal people have of them. They have all been empty to me. And I refuse for my relationship w that much weight to half full or half empty. I refuse to let something the dictate my being be so empty. All of mt relationships have been like that - except with my youngest  brother and my mom - and even then they have made big strides since I went away to college. I’ve worked on being open with them and thats why i deem them my best friends because they know me for who i want to be. People don't understand how suffocating being someone else can be. Pretending to be someone so similar to who you are but with no depth to your actual being is fatal. I know so many peers who are stuck in this grave others have built for them. It suffocates you. But the only difference in my pain is I was told the air was so supposed to be this thin and that i should be appreciative of my “air” quality because it is much better than others. But what does the air quality matter if im still dying from it. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and people rolled their eyes as I squandered. I was so disregared. Everyone again assumed something so uncharacteristic of who I really was. Everyone assumed I was being unappreciative of the privileges or was overthinking. People ignored my actual pain because of accomplishments that I achieved for others. It confused me so much because the identity other has of me was a beautiful expensive glass vase with nothing in it. And when I tried to explain that there were flowers too. People told me that I should just be happy with th vase. I told so many people that i was struggling and all i asked for was for someone to listen. I got a counselor, looked for help from friends, coaches, parents. But people lie. People say it all the time, but what they don't add to it is that people lie, but only to themselves. the worst most painful lies stem from people lying to themselves. Saying to someone “You can come to me with anything” but by anything they mean “you can come to me with issues that I want to hear about”.  That is a lie. You don't actually care about what I’m saying. If you sound like anything from a Tyler Perry movie or a damn CW/Showtime original they're all ears. But when you present someone a problem a bit more complex that requires a bit of self reflection of your own and a solution that doesn't come easy, people tend to not care. Strangers I understand, but people I thought loved me? well that hurt more.  I never was sentimental albeit as emotional as i am. I never was one to jump the gun on titles as platonic as the friendship may be. But as low as the bar was set for my loved ones, they never failed to disappoint me. I felt as if most arguments or drama that ensued with my friends were with the perceived me and not who I actually am. I don't mind me called out negatively for who I am. Self-reflection is KEY. But I’ve been called out on character that is not true. It’s the worst version of me that doesn’t exist. This person that people have created around me is illogical and conniving. But that can't be more unlike me. Mean words mean nothing if you don't feel truth behind them. I’ve done mean messy things, sure. But there is always reasoning behind the things I do. Well-thought out. and if i do them they're completely, they're not directed toward anyone. its simply selfish desires of my true self that never got the opportunity to make decisions for her own. The side of me that's just trying to see the light. It slips out and people deem her unworthy, but thats not even my bad side. Thats my selfish side, mores the unfiltered side that doesn't really give a **** about the stupid shit rules that other ppl have randomly made up. The funny thing is no one has ever seen my mean side. I’m never mean or mad at anyone. So for someone to say I was acting in meanness..is wrong. because if I wanted to hurt their feelings, the conversation of my behavior wouldn't be had. We would no longer be friends. My temper is not short , but it matches the deeply passionate side that i fear because of too much emotion. 

I use sex and my sexuality to free myself of all vulnerable restraints. It means something else that what society wants me to understand it as. Sex means nothing to me. Because it means less to me doesn't mean i have no restraints or logic behind it. it holds the same regards to me as kissing/making out with a guy. Same rules apply; don't kiss ugly guys, don't kiss guys of the same friend group, choose your kissers carefully, etc, etc. That type of vulnerability is a language not as stunted to communicate. Everyone seems to be on the same page and can speak it very clearly. If a guy wants to have sex and I too want to have sex, it very straight forward. The only rejection comes with the double standard that women bear. but aside from that everyone understands the rules and each party gets pleasure from them. It’s the perfect agreement. Its very logically. You like this you continue. Its all about face value there's no depth. Everyone is happy in the end. Theres still respect if thing fall out. And if you show too emotion your the one who is in the wrong. Its very clear. Very little room error. And im sure sex is better when your in a relationship but a relationship is not built on sex. sex is still sex. But emotional intimacy is where the pain comes from.  Emotional intimacy has no rules there no understanding. People will lie to your face. It can be one sided. You can put this amount of energy into it and the other half put nothing into it. No matter how careful you are you can still wrong. You can be solid for years and still be wrong. There no rules. Theres no grounds of trust that don't require you to have the opportunity to not be enough. There no logic to feelings. You can do everything and still very wrong. Emotional Intimacy thats where pain comes from .And that is what I keep at arms distance.

[multiple-nerdery]

all asks

1. Are looks important in a relationship? i mean, if i like someone i’m going to like how they look. that’s how it works. cuteness is a function of if people are nice to me to me.2. Are relationships ever worth it? i mean, i should hope so, seeing as how i want to be in them much more than i ever have the chance too. no one loves me. but like yeah i’ve had fulfilling one3. Are you a virgin? no? no. i mean. i guesthey woulds not4. Are you in a relationship? no. i mean i’d like to be but i have a terminal fear of asking people out an the terror that the person would say no. 5. Are you in love? besides love for my friends, i mean ya but i’m not sure how (if) that’s going to do anything6. Are you single this year? so far, yes7. Can you commit to one person? i mean, i managed it for more than 2 years. my guess is that two people could not like me at the same time bc im unlovable8. Describe your crush they’re nice they’re nice to me i wish that they would talk to me more so we can just at least be friends but (edit: they talked to me)9. Describe your perfect mate cute, pays positive attention to me once or so10. Do you believe in love at first sight? nah. love takes time and love takes work11. Do you ever want to get married? if i ever find someone who would like to and i’d like to maybe but no12. Do you forgive betrayal? apparently i forgave christina v easily so yes13. Do you get jealous easily? yayayayayayayayayayaya14. Do you have a crush on anyone? i mean, i think i admitted that above so like yes15. Do you have any piercings? nah but i want at least ears probably something else16. Do you have any tattoos? nah but also i want one17. Do you like kissing in public? if i like the person enough i will forget that we’re in public probably but generally i don’t want to kiss in public and i’d rather most other people not kiss as loudly and grossly in public too20. Do you shower every day? of frieakin course21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? i’d hope so but i don’t know or think so. maybe one person but the person i’m thinking of is not the person i have a crush on22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? i wish23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? i managed it once, and haven’t had a second relationship that long but i doubt i’d ever cheat24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? oh god hopefully no25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? i have a crush so... maybe? honestly i just want kisses and cuddles from the situation right now heck not even commitment just affection26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? yeah. then he left27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? i guess? but also. then he left.28. Have you ever been cheated on? if I do, shealyn has some exsplaining to do (i’m sure she didn’t though)29. Have you ever cheated on someone? i have never, although one time i was being close with my friend and my girlfriend thought it wasn’t okay but that was platonic she just wasn’t comfortable.30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? nah fam31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? i’ve cried for multpile reasons32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? i have... always had this experience33. Have you ever had sex with a man? no34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? i mean technically no but like... actually i think even have never even kind of had anything close to a sexual experience with anyone who wasn’t non-binary. or, rather, at least for a long while35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? somehow, only one out of eight36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? all my romantic emotions stem from platonic ones.37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? shealyn. YEAH that’s right I know a majority of my friends hated her and you know what, I still don’t bear her any ill will38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? everyone ever.39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? most of them40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? i’ve tried41. Have you had sex so far this year? zero this year42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? depends on how the person i’m kissing responds to the kissing. if they’re okay with it and i want to it takes not a lot of time but like... that’s happened very few times43. How long was your longest relationship? 2+ years44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 345. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? none46. How many times did you have sex last year? 2? depends on the definition47. How old are you? i’m 18 my dude48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? makes sense why would anyone like me49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? no tengo unx novix50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents,  would you accept? apologize for what he did nothing wrong.51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? all my friends52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? ????????????53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? someone would be mad if he found out i like the person i like54. Is there someone you will never forget? lots of people55. Share a relationship story. one time i got my ex a slurpee at 11:30 because she wanted it and i am a hopeless romantic56. State 8 facts about your body it’s quite tall, it can run far, it can speak fast, some people like how it looks, some people don’t like how it looks, it can’t dance, it isvery white for a slightly hispanic, it can cook if i want it too57. Things you want to say to an ex 1: thanks for still being my friend, 2: thanks for forgiving me, 3: stop flirting with a frshman god58. What are five ways to win your heart? be cute, give me positive attention, those are the only ones59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) nonononononononono60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? 1 year 2 months 4 years exactly.61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? their existence62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? be nice to me63. What is your definition of “having sex”? you... you do the frick,,, then the frack (fuck idk)64. What is your definition of cheating? doing romantic things outside the bounds of your relationships65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? 5 hour miraculous ladybug marathon66. What is your favourite roleplay? i roleplay as a successful adult. you roleplay as a successful adult. we lift ourselves and each other up. there’s no sex involved necessarily.67. What is your idea of the perfect date? five hour miraculous ladybug marathon68. What is your sexual orientation? asexual but like... i’m very sex positive apparently69. What turns you off? meanness70. What turns you on? niceness71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? success72. What words do you like to hear during sex? i mean. “that feels good” is nice to hear. there are some other ones but those are inapropros73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? hugs74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? they have to have skin75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? no clue i can’t rank or remember76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? no.77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? shouldn’t be too big, the big part about it is emotional experience. pedophilia is gross78. What’s your dirtiest secret? one time... im gay79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? always, everyone’s better than me80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? last calendar year. They... well they reacted alright81. Who are five people you find attractive? two people from a FIRST chairman’s video, thomas sanders, several of my friends82. Who is the last person you hugged? ma.83. Who was your first kiss with? my first relationship.84. Why did your last relationship fail? we weren’t compatible and she was dealing with some stuff™85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? maybe someone who i knew who i talked to mostly from the internet but like i’d like to meet them

#danke #Anonymous

[wishfulthinking29]

1-85

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

No, emotional and spiritual connection is most important in a relationship.

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

Yes. 100% yes. But only with the right people.

3. Are you a virgin?

No

4. Are you in a relationship?

Not for long. Not for long at all. Tomorrow is the day. So I hope anyhow.

5. Are you in love?

Hopesessly and very deeply, yes

6. Are you single this year?

I will be.

7. Can you commit to one person?

The right person yes. I only want one person for the rest of my life.

8. Describe your crush

God she's the closest thing to perfection there is. She's sweet, funny, caring, loving, and so beautiful. She's got so much inner beauty which only makes her outer beauty shine so much more.

9. Describe your perfect mate

She is. Everything she is, is everything I will ever need or want.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I loved her from the very first time I saw her. And I never never stopped since that day. So yeah.

11. Do you ever want to get married?

Only if it's to her.

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

I have forgiven it. It's not an easy thing to do.

13. Do you get jealous easily?

Yeah but usually only if I feel like I have a reason to be jealous

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

Not just a crush. I'm in love with someone.

15. Do you have any piercings?

Yeah I do. Only my ears though

16. Do you have any tattoos?

Not yet

17. Do you like kissing in public?

I'm iffy about it. I think some things should be kept private but if it's an appropriate situation to kiss in then yes

20. Do you shower every day?

Yes always, unless I'm just so depressed I can't get out of bed

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

I know someone does.

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

I hope so.

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

I have and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I lasted 3 years in a relationship and didn't ever think about cheating once. I didn't need to think about it because I had all I ever needed.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

In the heart, yes. But ceremony and all? I'm not sure. I want to save up and have a beautiful wedding and enough for a honeymoon. That may take some time.

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

Yeah. With her. Only with her.

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes..

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

Not that I can remember. Lots of sappy love messages though, and letters!

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Yeah

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

... yeah. Two wrongs don't make a right. That's an important lesson to take to heart.

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

No I haven't. I don't necessarily like my body but it's mine and changing it wouldn't help my self image any. I have to learn to love me for me. I'm working on it.

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Man have I lol

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

In a way? I wasn't really in love though. I just thought I was at the time.

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

Gross dont remind me

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

Yes

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

The only people I've ever kissed were older than me

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yeah

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Yeah

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Yeah. It was a mistake. I didn't really like him, only the idea of him. What he was in the beginning. But he's not that person.

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yeah

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

No but I want to

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

Yeah

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

It depends.

43. How long was your longest relationship?

3 years.

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

Only 2

45. How many people did you kiss in 2011?

Lmao none! I was 11/12. I didn't have my first kiss until I was 16. The best kiss of my life.

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

Can't count it

47. How old are you?

21

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

That's complicated. It wouldn't be fair for me to say anything. But my heart would be absolutely crushed. I can't even explain it..

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

Literally nothing lol

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

I did accept. Not that she had much to apologize for. Only it wasn't knocking on my door. It was knocking on my Facebook messenger lol

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

God yes. I'd go to the moon and back for her.

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

Yeah. Because he's done nothing but abuse me and hurt me. And I'm done with it.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

Dating? Yeah. Not mad, but.. just wants me to get out. And talking to? No. They understand why I'm talking to who I am.

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

Yes..

55. Share a relationship story.

Okay, imagine this. It's the night before your 2nd anniversary. It's a long distance relationship and you're together for a few days. You go outside. It's dark. You hear noises. What do you find? Baby racoons! Soooo we spent the morning of our anniversary taking them to the nearest animal sanctuary. It was such an adventure and so fun.

56. State 8 facts about your body

Firstly, and most importantly, it tells a story. It was my canvas for a while. Maybe a gruesome way to put that, but fuck, it's true. I took my hatred and my depression and my anxiety out on myself. I hated myself back then. I'm not thin either, I have stretch marks everywhere. I don't usually shave bc I'm lazy. I have a big scar on my back from when I had surgery both times. Uhhh, three more. My hair is soft but really thin bc I wash it too much. My cuticles always are dry and red bc I pick at them bc of my anxiety. I'm also not tan at all bc I don't go outside much anymore

57. Things you want to say to an ex

I've already said them to her. She knows how I feel..

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

You can't bc she has it. The only way to win my heart is to be her.

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

Look at my profile picture on here! I don't take a lot of pictures of myself anymore.

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

11 years

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

Whether they can look me in the eyes or not. I think that says a lot about a person.

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

I don't particularly wanna answer that lmao

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

I think it's sex even if you're just touching someone's private areas.

64. What is your definition of cheating?

Having sex, I guess. Sending pictures too.

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

Making out. Heavy petting. Neck kisses.

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

I don't really have one tbh

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

Anywhere as long as it's with her. But honestly? I love picnics a ton

68. What is your sexual orientation?

God Im so gay.. like so so so so gay

69. What turns you off?

Men lol

70. What turns you on?

Her

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

I don't wanna go there... lol

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

I love to hear moaning. And like, cum for me baby. Ugh. So hot.

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Surprise me. Like completely catch me off guard

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

Pretty eyes

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

Love me through everything I've put her through.. but, really though, write me letters. Like a "when you're mad" letter, and "when you're sad" letter, and so on.

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I gave her one of those mason jars full of reason why I love her.

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

As long as both parties are over 18, it's really not a big deal. You do you. It's all about maturity levels and how well your personalities vibe.

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

Nope

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

I haven't felt jealous in a while. I don't care what he does.

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Like an hour ago?

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

Only her

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

My grandma

83. Who was your first kiss with?

Her..

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

Because I was stupid as fuck

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

I did.. best thing that's ever happened to me. Best decision ever.

[shewantsthev]

1-200

Wow this is a lot but okay200: My crush’s name is: Bernie Sanders
199: I was born in: 1999? Is this what this is asking 
198: I am really: gay
197: My cellphone company is: AT&T
196: My eye color is: green 
195: My shoe size is: 7.5 
194: My ring size is: I forgot. Something small
193: My height is: 5'3"
192: I am allergic to: bullshit and republicans. Other than that, nothing 
191: My 1st car was: a 2000 chevy cavalier. It was red and I loved it except it was a piece of shit 
190: My 1st job was: OfficeMax 
189: Last book you read: Why Does The World Exist? By some guy
188: My bed is: soft and filled with dogs and orange and great
187: My pet: I have prim, my soul mate and axel, a sweet dummy. I also have fish named Rex and Rocko and a snake named Jasper
186: My best friend: is amazing and great and I miss her
185: My favorite shampoo is: my recent favorite is the tea tree shampoo but I colored my hair recently and had to witch to shampoo safe for that 
184: Xbox or ps3: Xbox but I don't play either enough to really care
183: Piggy banks are: pretty nice. This reminds me of the time my house got robbed and the police took my piggy bank for prints and promised they would give it back but never did 
182: In my pockets: my wallet and chopstick 
181: On my calendar: a lot. This is a busy month. But Colorado soon :)
180: Marriage is: I wouldn't know 
179: Spongebob can: okay spongebob is the shit
178: My mom: isn't perfect but is great 
177: The last three songs I bought were? I don't know about individual songs but the other day I got tired of the radio and bought a bunch of CDs for my car
176: Last YouTube video watched: I don't know exactly but I've been watching a lot of John Oliver videos 
175: How many cousins do you have? Too may to count 
174: Do you have any siblings? I have 3ish stepsiblings 
173: Are your parents divorced? Yes since I was 4
172: Are you taller than your mom? I wish 
171: Do you play an instrument? I kinda sorta used to but no
170: What did you do yesterday? I don't remember? I think I worked?[ I Believe In ]
169: Love at first sight: maybe a little 
168: Luck: sometimes 
167: Fate: no 
166: Yourself: nope
165: Aliens: hell yeah
164: Heaven: no 
163: Hell: no 
162: God: I actually very strongly don't believe in god 
161: Horoscopes: no 
160: Soul mates: maybe 
159: Ghosts: not entirely sure but probably not 
158: Gay Marriage: fuck yeah 
157: War: depends on the situation 
156: Orbs: what
155: Magic: why[ This or That ]
154: Hugs or Kisses: both? Depends on my mood 
153: Drunk or High: high 
152: Phone or Online: online 
151: Red heads or Black haired: black hair 
150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes
149: Hot or cold: cold
148: Summer or winter: winter
147: Autumn or Spring: spring!!
146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla 
145: Night or Day: night
144: Oranges or Apples: apples
143: Curly or Straight hair: straight 
142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk chocolate 
140: Mac or PC: Pc
139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops
138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor:
 Stop attach a persons value to their economic status/ wealth :) 137: Coke or Pepsi: neither 
136: Hillary or Obama: Obama 😍
135: Burried or cremated: I want my body donated for organs and/or science. Although I like having just a spot so maybe just a tombstone 
134: Singing or Dancing: singing 
133: Coach or Chanel: ew
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who
131: Small town or Big city: big city for sure
130: Wal-Mart or Target: target 
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: I don't even care 
128: Manicure or Pedicure: pedicure?
127: East Coast or West Coast: west coast
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday
125: Chocolate or Flowers: bothhh
124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney
123: Yankees or Red Sox: I don't sport[ Here’s What I Think About ]
122: War: depends on the situation 
121: George Bush: no 
120: Gay Marriage: always
119: The presidential election: it was awful, vile, and disgusting. The results were bullshit because fuck the electoral college but also it made me lose faith in humanity 
118: Abortion: it's always the persons choice what to do with their body
117: MySpace: never had one
116: Reality TV: it's stupid 
115: Parents: they exist
114: Back stabbers: I think we can all agree they're trash
113: Ebay: I'm indifferent 
112: Facebook: its gotten annoying lately but it's a necessary evil
111: Work: I like getting paid 
110: My Neighbors: they're okay for neighbors. I feel bad that our dog barks at them all the time. 
109: Gas Prices: they're high but whatever 
108: Designer Clothes: you do you im too broke 
107: College: it's gonna put me in debt forever but I'm excited 
106: Sports: I don't understand the interest but whatever 
105: My family: they're okay
104: The future: we are all gonna die [ Last time I ]
103: Hugged someone: tidy my teacher hugged me because she was happy to see me 
102: Last time you ate: I had pizza like 5 hours ago
101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: I saw a friend two days ago I haven't seen in a while
100: Cried in front of someone: I don't remember exactly 
99: Went to a movie theater: it's been too long 
98: Took a vacation: since a year ago
97: Swam in a pool: about a year ago. Well, swim isn't necessarily the word because guess who can't do that. I just chill in the water 
96: Changed a diaper: gosh it's been some time. A year or more?
95: Got my nails done: a lot of years ago
94: Went to a wedding: a year ago was my moms wedding 
93: Broke a bone: never 
92: Got a peircing: my nose about 2 years ago 
91: Broke the law: technically I am now 
90: Texted: now[ MISC ]
89: Who makes you laugh the most: I don't laugh much
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my dogs
87: The last movie I saw: some horror movie with my mom 
86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: leaving this town
85: The thing im not looking forward to: so much 
84: People call me: I don't really have a nickname
83: The most difficult thing to do is: go through major depression 
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: I've had 2
81: My zodiac sign is: Taurus
80: The first person i talked to today was: my mom 
79: First time you had a crush: technically my first was a ginger in kindergarten but my first real one was in middle school 
78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: prim 😂
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yesterday! I remember that part but not who it was or what it was
76: Right now I am talking to: a group chat and 2 other people 
75: What are you going to do when you grow up: not entirely sure yet but I want to be a trauma surgeon 
74: I have/will get a job: yes? I'm not sure what this is asking 
73: Tomorrow: I have school and class in the evening 
72: Today: I was at school 
71: Next Summer: hopefully I'll be doing something fun 
70: Next Weekend: next weekend is surprisingly kinda free 
69: I have these pets: I answered this 
68: The worst sound in the world: someone saying goodbye 
67: The person that makes me cry the most is: myself 
66: People that make you happy: my friends I don't know 
65: Last time I cried: earlier today 
64: My friends are: great 
63: My computer is: falling apart. I need a new one but still broke 
62: My School: is actually garbage and I can't wait to leave 
61: My Car: is much nicer that my old one 
60: I lose all respect for people who: physically, sexually, or emotionally abuse people, are racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc. support Trump, actually there's a lot I don't respect many people 
59: The movie I cried at was: okay I used to always cry at the notebook it was horrible 
58: Your hair color is: red now 
57: TV shows you watch: lately shameless but all time fav is greys anatomy. Also watch a lot of criminal minds 
56: Favorite web site: google.com 
55: Your dream vacation: Traveling all over the world. I want to be in the south of France again 
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when my heart broke 
53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium well 
52: My room is: pretty chill. Representative of me 
51: My favorite celebrity is: Demi Lovato 
50: Where would you like to be: anywhere but here 
49: Do you want children: maybe possibly
48: Ever been in love: yup
47: Who’s your best friend: gabby 
46: More guy friends or girl friends: girls I guess
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: drugs 
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: nobody 
43: Do you have a 5 year plan: haha I barley have a 5 minute plan 
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: sort of. Just traveling 
41: Have you pre-named your children: yes
40: Last person I got mad at: Ryan 
39: I would like to move to: California 
38: I wish I was a professional: everything [ My Favorites ]
37: Candy: Reese's 
36: Vehicle: camaro 
35: President: Obama 
34: State visited: New York 
33: Cellphone provider: I don't care 
32: Athlete: really don't care 
31: Actor: probably Leonardo DiCaprio 
30: Actress: Not sure. Drew Barrymore maybe? Maybe Sandra bullock 
29: Singer: Demi Lovato 
28: Band: Nirvana 
27: Clothing store: everything here and there 
26: Grocery store: HyVee
25: TV show: Greys Anatomy
24: Movie: 21 Days 
23: Website: Tumblr
22: Animal: Penguin?
21: Theme park: don't know 
20: Holiday: Fourth of July, not for the patriotism but the blowing stuff up 
19: Sport to watch: basketball
18: Sport to play: basketball
17: Magazine: not sure 
16: Book: Impulse by Ellen Hopkins 
15: Day of the week: Saturday 
14: Beach: beach in saint marie de la mer
13: Concert attended: Demi Lovato 
12: Thing to cook: pasta
11: Food: Italian 
10: Restaurant: Olive Garden or IHOP 
9: Radio station: 96.5 the buzz 
8: Yankee candle scent: I like ocean scents 
7: Perfume: stuff I got in France 
6: Flower: who even knows 
5: Color: orange 
4: Talk show host: Ellen 
3: Comedian: not really sure 
2: Dog breed: Doberman 
1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yes

[viralhottopics]

7 strategies for raising confident girls during Trump’s presidency

Image: ambar del moral / mashable 

For girls, women and their allies who believe in gender equality, the presidency of Donald J. Trump marks a terrifying moment in modern American history.

With President Obama’s departure, the White House loses a man who wrote emphatically about being a feminist and focused on policies that provided equal opportunity to all girls and women.

SEE ALSO: 7 skills to teach your daughter by age 13

Trump, on the other hand, insists he respects and champions women, but has made a sport out of rating their physical appearance and was recorded making comments that indicate he’s sexually assaulted women. He also gleefully threatened to imprison Hillary Clinton, the first woman to run for president on behalf of a major political party.

“I still think its a great time to be a girl or woman in our country, although it is a more complex time.”

Just as it seemed safe to believe that every young girl growing up in America had a much better shot at fulfilling her potential, no matter her identity or background, a seismic political and cultural shift has undermined that possibility. While despair may be an adult’s first impulse, experts say there are several ways to help girls develop lifelong confidence that will sustain them in the coming years.

“I still think its a great time to be a girl or woman in our country, although it is a more complex time,” says Jess Weiner, a self-esteem expert and brand strategist who worked with the White House Council on Women and Girls over the past six years.

To help navigate those complexities, here are seven strategies that anyone can use to help a girl thrive.

1. Talk about power.

While adults might think girls can’t fully grasp the implications of Trump’s campaign and presidency, Weiner says they do. In a workshop she conducted last October with Dove, she heard from girls who knew Trump had rated women’s bodies, and they were grappling with what that message meant for them.

The participants, most of whom were girls of color, also realized they were the “bull’s eye of the moment” by virtue of being an immigrant, Muslim, Mexican, or belonging to another group that Trump has targeted. Staying silent about such messages doesn’t protect a young girl from harm, but instead suggests that others approve of that behavior.

Calling all parents, teachers, mentors: Let’s talk about what happens to our children when a bully takes office. https://t.co/cyiJF09xqT

Jess Weiner (@JessWeiner) December 8, 2016

“Make no mistake, we cant shy away from this conversation, even if it feels uncomfortable and difficult,” Weiner says. “Dont gaslight our kids. Dont pretend it’s not happening.”

This doesn’t necessarily require discussing politics or Trump directly, but Weiner says adults should be talking to girls about power, like someone using a bully pulpit to shame others and the role of the media in holding the powerful accountable. Such conversations can give girls the confidence they need to express their fears and opinions.

2. Encourage them to share real feelings.

Girls are too often asked or expected to silence their authentic feelings to make others around them more comfortable.

Andrea Bastiani Archibald, chief girl and parent expert for the Girl Scouts, says it’s essential for adults to engage girls to help them speak openly about their emotions, whether that means disagreeing with your opinion, being mad or sad, or communicating anger over a perceived injustice.

President Obama has often shown acceptance with this kind of complexity when he talks about his teenage daughters Sasha and Malia. In his last press conference on Wednesday, he discussed their reaction to the presidential election, describing their disappointment, their potential for resilience and their commitment to making the country a better place.

Over the next few years, girls are likely to hear that they’re overreacting to cultural and political developments, which is why trusted adults should make it abundantly clear that their feelings matter.

3. Help girls identify their values.

In the wake of the election, anecdotal reports collected by the Southern Poverty Law Center revealed that boys and men used the slur from Trump’s 2005 hot mic comments to threaten women.

That’s one extreme example of the kind of gendered harassment girls may face, in addition to comments about their physical appearance or sexuality. Adults can prepare girls to deal with verbal abuse by helping them identify and focus on their values. If they cherish relationships with friends and family over a stranger’s opinion, for example, that contrast can help them find perspective when faced with harassment.

#YesWeCan make more girls comfortable with leadership and redefine what it means to be a G.I.R.L. https://t.co/QWPqelIFsV http://pic.twitter.com/3O8AOk4aux

Girl Scouts (@girlscouts) January 4, 2017

This approach, Weiner says, gives them a tool to address feelings of embarrassment, humiliation and anger, and helps them know which of the many voices in their lives to trust and respect. Similarly, if they can articulate their own self-worth and personal ethics, they’ll be better prepared to set physical boundaries, call out degrading language and behavior, and know when to involve a trusted adult.

4. Show them how to be respectful and inclusive.

Prior to the election, Bastiani Archibald says adults may have taken social progress for granted. Now is the time for them to not only act as role models in their own households, but to also ensure that girls they know and love are in inclusive and respectful environments.

That means checking in with school educators, sports teams and extracurricular clubs, to ask about how all young people are made to feel accepted before someone feels or is actively excluded.

Diversity, inclusion, and unity are what America stands for. Here’s how you and your girl can do your part. https://t.co/ZJqlHLBBuV http://pic.twitter.com/dKwmxUyqWp

Girl Scouts (@girlscouts) November 11, 2016

Discussing the positive aspects of difference and diversity with girls is particularly important, Bastiani Archibald says, because bullying related to one’s background and identity can be subtle and relational, rather than blatant. If, for example, a girl who wears a hijab is routinely ostracized at lunch but no one will explain why, that’s a moment where girls need to demonstrate both empathy and a more sophisticated understanding of how discrimination can work.

Bastiani Archibald believes if school environments can become or remain supportive of all students, it will “buffer” young people from greater cultural and political shifts away from inclusivity.

5. Focus on solutions

One way for girls to develop their power and confidence in the next few years is to focus on being part of the solution, Weiner says. This can be very personal, such as a girl deciding that she doesn’t want to talk negatively about other girls online. She can also decide to get involved with neighborhood or community efforts to make a positive difference. Both types of solution-oriented behavior can lead to feelings of self-empowerment.

SEE ALSO: 6 ways to push your online activism into the real world in the Trump era

If a young girl wants to make personal changes or participate in activism, but doesn’t know where to start, talking about the values you’ve already helped her identify is a good first step. From there she can prioritize the issues she cares most about and find simple ways of contributing to the greater good.

6. Embrace role models.

From Harry Potter’s Hermione Granger and Frozen’s Elsa to Michelle Obama and Serena Williams, girls today have plenty of fictional and real-life role models to guide them through difficult times.

Still, Bastiani Archibald says adults should actively look for and talk about brave, courageous role models in history and pop culture. In particular, adults should focus on how those figures overcame adversity through determination and persistence.

If you’re looking for lesser-known or unsung heroes, the National Women’s History Museum and A Mighty Girl both regularly share inspiring stories about women who’ve acted with conviction.

And if a girl uses social media and feels overwhelmed by negativity, Weiner suggests talking to her about pruning and curating the accounts she follows. The idea, she says, is for social media to become more like a “vision board” that inspires and motivates. It can also be an effective way of connecting them to role models who offer positive messages.

7. Encourage girls to stand up for themselves and others.

“When we talk about building self-esteem, its done by doing estimable acts,” says Weiner.

It’s easy, however, for girls to feel powerless against the school bully or a president who targets vulnerable people in words and policy. What they need is a “scripted language” to help them stand up for their principles. If, for instance, they hear a classmate tell another classmate to “go back to their country,” the script can start with a single statement: “I heard that.”

“Im not telling girls they have to be super heroines,” Weiner says. “But the acknowledgment is power. Its making [harassment] real and seen and not normalizing it.”

“When we talk about building self-esteem, its done by doing estimable acts.”

Bastiani Archibald encourages adults to help girls practice a similar script in different scenarios. If they hear something objectionable, they can begin by asking, “What did you say? Why did you say that?” If they are feeling bolder, she says, girls can disagree or explain why they find certain language offensive.

This approach may not be the right solution in every instance, especially if safety is a concern, but it will empower girls to feel like they can take a stand for themselves and others.

Weiner believes it’s particularly important now for bystanders to assume some role in defending people who are marginalized or attacked for their identities.

“We have to be accomplices, not allies,” she says, quoting the activist and author Luvvie Ajayi. “Girls and women have powerful potential to do that.”

The early days of Trump’s election and presidency indicate they’ll live up to that potential, but girls who don’t see their values reflected by this administration will need every ounce of courage and confidence they can get.

BONUS: First Lady Michelle Obama expresses outrage at Trump’s treatment of women

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