#lol I just realized he didn’t wear sunglasses that’s what kinda felt off about it 🤣 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lyricalimerence · 4 years

Text

You Never Asked - JJ Maybank

summary: in which jj was the only person who knew but then you two drift because of kie invading the group, effectively leaving you out of the loop, until your grandfather dies. you pick yourself up, and jj makes a stupid comment without knowing.

word count: 1341

warnings: cancer mentions, death mentions, a joke about cancer, coarse language, angst i suppose. this is very badly written, i'm sorry lol

a/n: so the topic of this is very real to me, something i've been mulling over for like a week. i was replaying the end of this toxic friendship i had. i realized the first person i told about my grandfather's diagnosis didn't know he was gone and it kind of stung a little bit. this is a little exaggerated for "entertainment" purposes but i just,,, this is more of my own mental punching bag in a way. somewhere to kind of decompress my emotions towards my delayed emotions. i know it's a mess. it's kinda incoherent and very unedited and rushed i'm just gonna be honest 😌

flashbacks look like this

it almost ached, the pangs in your heart and the fatigue plaguing your mind. your body feels weighed down, you could barely move without needing to take a break. the sky seems dimmer even without your sunglasses, the ocean seems rougher without a clear cause for the current you created in your mind. you twiddle your thumbs, watching as the pad of your right thumb traced over the jagged, bitten-down edge of your left thumbnail.

you were waiting. it seemed like that was all you were doing those days. waiting for jj to realize you were still there, waiting for the pogues to realize kiara couldn't replace you, waiting for your grandpa to get better, waiting for the day you found out he was getting worse, even though you knew he was already gone. he had been for months now. all you could was wait, and it was driving you crazy. your mind running circles are itself, barely recognizing what you used to, only focusing on the new, obstructive thoughts.

you remembered it so clearly. that day on the hammocks.

you had pulled jj out to your backyard where a hammock was held up by two trees overlooking the ocean. your house was always the spot until you were kicked to the curb. jj’s rough, calloused hand was placed in yours as you two sat in the hammock, your ankles pressed together, fighting for who's got to cross over the other’s instead of under.

it had been a miracle you had gotten him away. kiara has recently joined the group of pogues. you felt replaced, like you weren't good enough anymore. not to mention, you had been carrying a burden on your chest for weeks. was kiara carrera so captivating and perfect that no one noticed your eating patterns stuttered, your talkativeness dwindled, and your under eyes became more gaunt and purple stained each day?

you still had sarah and the kooks—in a way. they were your friend group, not your best friend. not the ones you needed. “what’s up, y/n? y’know, kie’s dad is getting us beer in a sec, so can this be quick?”

of course kie had some better alternative that you. you were technically a kook, but kie’s family was better off, you were pretty, but she was prettier, you played the ukelele and would sing tunes for the guys on your dock at night, but kie was better at it. you were never enough anymore. “right, um,” you breath quickened, not bothering to make eye contact with jj, because you knew he’d be waving or winking at kie who was watching from inside your house. your house that wasn’t as big or kempt as hers. “my grandpa is sick.”

jj’s head turned, you could see in your periphery as you kept your eyes trained ahead of you, tracing the edge of the horizon. “everyone gets sick, y/n, why're you making such a big deal—”

“cancer. he’s sick with cancer.” you all but spat, your grandfather was always so good to jj. whenever he would visit, jj would run over, eager to spend time with the benevolent man. why was he acting like such a dick? he must've known he was acting like an asshole because his face drained of color. or maybe you had captured his attention with someone he cared about, since, clearly, that person wasn't you. “esophageal cancer, in his throat, so he can't eat. they can't do surgery to remove the tumor because it's in line with his heart.”

the blond boy next to you took a few seconds, focusing on inhaling and exhaling, watching his chest rise and fall to just make sure it still was. you knew the feeling, it has been all too real for you the past week. how could you notice the slightest change in his demeanor, but he hadn't recognized your ongoing agony?

“your grandpa will tough it out, he always does. he's a strong guy.” you glanced at him, moving your eyes but not your head. you weren't sure if you'd be able to take in his complete expression without breaking down. you muttered something under your breath, only for him to respond. “stage what?”

“four. stage four. he’ll be gone by next summer.”

and he was. your grandfather, light of your life with your absentee parents died in april. april first to be exact. at 12:01 in the morning. you were in the room with him, sarah and rafe sat outside the room waiting for you to exit. they heard your scream rip through the thin hospital walls. it had to have been an april fools joke, right?

but it wasn't, and the one person you needed to hug at that moment, hadn't spoken to you since september. your jj has completely replaced you with kiara. you tried to hate her, place the blame on someone besides yourself, but she was just perfect. who could deny her of whatever she wanted?

maybe you were just selfish. you brought up your grandfather as a way to try to bring jj back to you, evoke some remnants of emotion he had in regards to your wellbeing. you didn't care if those feelings matched the intensity or emotion yours were, as long as something was there, but that didn't happen. and that was almost as painful.

it was july, almost an exact year since your cancerous confession. you had almost forgotten about jj. sometimes you’d see him around and he’d act like things between you two were normal—it pissed you off more than anything. but it hadn't occurred to you that jj had gone on living his life, thinking that his favorite adult in the world was alive. an uncomfortable fallacy you held with you for months.

sarah, rafe, topper, and kelce had managed to get you to go to the boneyard for a kegger, convincing you it would be good. it would finally get you back into routine. so you did. you messed with your makeup in the mirror until your lips were darkened with red, your eyelids shimmered with pink, and your skin was smoothed through the magic of concealer. sarah took a curling iron to your hair, looping strands around the wand until your soft locks of hair bounced around your shoulders in beachy waves. you were wearing a sundress—you couldn tell your heart still felt like it was being punched with each sharp intake of breath and every step you take.

until you got there, and sarah had her elbow interlocked with yours as you walked up to the keg, the guys in front of you. having no intention to actually drink, you moved to step around jj who was manning the keg at the time. “c’mon, y/n, not beer for you?”

you had to will yourself to look him in the eyes, but once you did you realized his emotions were pure. he was happy. he didn't need you, he was happy without you. blissful ignorance is a bitch. “no thanks.”

something clicked at your harsh tone, “has the whole family lost their shotgunning touch? sore throat?”

“what the fuck, man?” kelce was the first to move, ready to punch the pogue, topper and rafe close behind.

jj turned, ready to snap at you to call off your dogs, but your eyes had glossed over, and you lip was starting to bleed from how hard you had bitten down, trying to halt it from quivering. “y/n, what’s going on?”

“he died, asshole.” sarah muttered, pulling you passed the advent of the fight about to break out. before you two could completely get away, jj grabbed your other elbow.

“when?”

your body went rigid, it had been even longer since he had touched you. at all. “april.”

“why didn't you tell me?” his eyes softened, the edges drooping as his smile lines faded away. your heart twisted, he thought he deserved to know.

you knew it was a different reason, but he didn't deserve to know. “you never asked.”

tags - click here if you'd like to be added

@insanitysparkles @anonymous0writer @prejudic3 @ilovejjmaybank @apoguecalledjj @outerbanksbro @xxxxxxxxxxxxxooooooooooooo @calumbroutledge @rudys-pankow @queenofthebees003 @bxllasanosa @write-from-the-heart @popcsheyward @kaitieskidmore1 @abigailpankow @thelocalpogue @fandomsinapile @starkeymarkey @lovingxjj @beatement-l @jayjaymaebank @drew-starkey @mahleeyuh

#obx #outer banks #jj maybank #outer banks fic #outer banks imagine #rudy pankow #jj #obx fanfiction #jj maybank x you #obx jj maybank #jj maybank fic #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x reader #outer banks fanfiction #angst #fanfiction

89 notes · View notes

capaldifiction · 4 years

Text

Our Chaotic Life (Part 2) - Lewis Capaldi x Reader

Well I told myself this series would be individuals scenes per part and I’d keep them relatively short. Yeah I already broke that on part 2. If you’ve read my other stuff you’ve probably noticed I tend to write long fics so hopefully this was just expected lol Hope you all enjoy part 2!

Paring: Lewis Capaldi x Comedian Reader

Word Count: 2,938

Description: Based on the request: “Lewis and the reader are kinda like a power couple of sorts? Idk it sounds cheesy but maybe she’s like a comedian or something and they are kinda infamous for their TikToks and Instagram Lives and stuff of that sort? Maybe it’s just a compilation of them just being effin adorable?“

In this part Lewis and Y/N go on a date.

Warnings: Some swearing (this is just going to be on every fic tbh)

PART 1

Y/N looks herself over in the mirror for what felt like the hundredth time in the last hour. Everything she put on she hated.

After meeting at the venue, her and Lewis had their first ‘date’ that night after their gigs. The audience had liked both their sets, and they’d gone out for drinks to celebrate. Since then they’d managed to find time for two more dates during the day.

What she wasn’t prepared for was how much she liked him increasing after each date. What had started as a joke, seemed like it was turning into something else. But they’d only had drinks and two lunch dates so far. When he’d called to ask her on another, and she suggested meeting up later for dinner instead, she hadn’t fully thought that through.

Staring at her open wardrobe in front of her, she sighed. The drinks were just that, drinks after a gig. She wore what she’d been wearing all day. And the lunch dates she’d figured were casual, they were just meeting up for lunch and it wasn’t that serious yet. Still just joking about marriage.

But something about getting dinner together, after three dates she genuinely enjoyed, felt like she had to put more effort into how she looked. But how much effort? He didn’t seem the type to dress up too much, but what if he did and she under-dressed? Or she went for it and he showed up in a t-shirt and jeans?

Swearing at the clothes in front of her she finally grabbed something off the hanger and convinced herself it was good enough. As she ran her brush through her hair, she practiced a few lines for her next set in the mirror in attempt to calm herself down.

So far everything with Lewis had been light. Everything was joking around and having a good time, getting to know one another while slagging each other off. Somewhere in there she realized how much she was actually enjoying being around him. And part of her wanted it to be deeper.

Her door bell rings, pulling her from her thoughts as she grabs her things and heads toward the door. Swinging it open reveals Lewis standing on her doorstep with flowers in hand.

“I, thought maybe you'd like flowers?” he asks hesitantly offering them toward her. “If not I’ll chuck them in the bush and we can pretend this part never happened.”

“How uncharacteristically sweet of you,” she teases but accepts them from him. “Come on in, I’ll find something to put them in.”

Following her into her apartment, he looks around the room as she rummages through a drawer in the kitchen. “Nice place,” he comments as he looks at pictures hanging on the wall.

“Thanks,” she shouts back, finally finding something suitable and filling it with water. “Where’d you want to go to eat?”

“Uh, I heard about an Italian place nearby maybe?” he offers as he goes to stand in the entryway of her kitchen.

“Works for me,” she answers, finally setting the vase of flowers on her window sill.

As she turns back toward him, Lewis clears his throat, “You look, really nice by the way.”

Stepping closer to him, she reaches up to lightly squeeze one of his blushing cheeks, “You look pretty handsome yourself, I thought you only owned hoodies.”

“Thought I’d make an effort to look a bit nicer for you tonight,” he teases back as they head out the door toward his car.

The dinner went well, though the wine might have helped calm her down a bit. Being around him was comfortable. He had that ease about him. At some point during the dinner she’d suggested seeing a movie, and that’s how they ended up at some action movie she wasn’t sure either of them were really all that into.

Admittedly she spent more time during the movie overthinking about what him holding her hand meant, than actually paying attention to the plot line.

Heading out to the parking lot they joked about the movie lightheartedly before growing silent as they reached his car. Neither seemingly ready to head back home.

“There’s this place not too far we could go hang out,” she suggests.

“Sure that works for me,” he nods and they get into the car, “So where is this place?”

“Ok this is going to sound sketchy, but just trust me,” she clarifies as she puts the location on the GPS in his phone. “It’s just a field past some wooded areas I used to go hang out at as a teenager.”

“Is that where you’re going to harvest my organs?” he asked with a raised eyebrow as he glances at the GPS.

“If that was the plan I’d not have gone on this many dates with you Lewis, too many witnesses and too much work,” she jokes.

“That wasn’t a no,” he responds as he follows the directions to the location.

“You’re supposed to be my betrothed, and you don’t trust me?” She says in a mock sad voice.

Somehow between the movie theater parking lot and their destination, she found her hand resting on his leg. Neither seemingly wanting to move it, she contented herself with rubbing small circles on his thigh as he drove and they chatted about nothing in particular.

She’d found a pair of discarded sunglasses and put them on at some point, ignoring the fact it was far too dark to see efficiently with them.

“We make sacrifices for the sake of good sunglasses,” he joked nodding approvingly at her choice. “Fuck the sun, look class all the time.”

As they finally reached the place, she shifted the sunglasses up to her forehead and directed him to parked in the center of the field, “Want to get out and stargaze?”

He shrugs, “Sure, I’ll get some music playing.”

Y/N gets out of the car, leaving the sunglasses on the dash, and walks to the front of his car and crawls up on the hood. Behind her Lewis rolls the windows down, and gets out closing the door before reaching through the window to select a radio station and turn the car off.

“Oh, none of your music to play?” she questions as he crawls up on the hood next to her.

“Unfortunately, I don't have my own radio station or record at this point darling,” he responds lightly flicking her forehead.

“Yet,” she comments, laying back to look at the sky.

“Oh?” he comments, laying back beside her. “You believe in me huh?”

“I don’t marry losers Lewis,” she says with a wink toward him, a smile spreading across his face. “Seriously though, you’ve got a great voice, you keep pushing and you’ll make it.”

“Glad you think so,” he replies before they go silent.

After a few minutes of looking up at the stars in the sky, they start telling each other various stories from their childhoods and teen years. At some point she’d found herself flush up against his body, with his arm around her as her head rested on his shoulder.

“How’d you get into comedy?” he asked as he pushed some loose hair from her face.

“When you’re a sarcastic smart-ass you either need to learn to suppress it or harness it,” she says with a grin. “I chose the later.”

“This sounds like a ‘with great power comes great responsibility’ moment,” he chuckles.

“Nah fuck that, it’s a super villain story,” she adds. “But nah.. that’s true, but I just found I liked making people laugh. I can’t say I just discovered a talent and wanted to run with it. I just enjoyed the laughs and smiles on faces. When I was young I just liked the attention, the older I got, I liked being able to just say something that could bring someone’s spirits up. And comedy seemed like something that used what I’m good at, to bring some happiness to peoples lives even if it was just for a half hour set. Sometimes we all just need a moment to forget about all the shit going on in our lives and just laugh. Not much of an origin story, class clown realized she liked making people happy.”

“I think that was the most sincere thing I’ve heard you say since I’ve met you,” he murmurs, holding her closer to his body. “I feel the same way. I love music, and it’s the only thing I could see myself doing because it’s how I enjoy spending my time. But my favorite part is when people tell me after a show how much something I wrote helped them, or just made them happy. People just coming out to listen to me. There’s something fantastic in doing what you love and getting to make a few people happy along the way.”

They sit in silence for a few minutes before Y/N lifts their joined hands to motion vaguely at the sky, “Just noticed Orion is right there.”

“You ever do this sort of thing before?” he asks as he tears his gaze from the sky to look toward her.

“Are you asking if I’ve ever looked at the stars before or if I’ve brought someone else here before?” she says in a teasing tone. “Jealousy I detect?”

“Maybe,” he chuckles. “I suppose both to answer your question.”

“I’ve always come out here alone,” she admits looking toward his face. “At night to just relax, and during the day sometimes to write. It’s removed enough from everything to just be alone to the world, but close enough that as a teen I could be back before anyone noticed I was gone.”

“Who’d have imagined, you’d be a cheeky one like that.”

“I’m certain I’m not alone on it.”

“In sneaking out to look at the stars yes, in sneaking out being places you shouldn’t be at 2 AM, no.”

“Look at this bad boy we have here,” she laughs.

“The absolute worst,” he replies, propping himself up on his elbow to look at her better. “I.. I’ve been really enjoying our time together.”

“Me too,” she says softly, her eyes locked onto his before flickering down his lips and back up.

Leaning down, he captures her lips in a kiss as she releases his hand to tangle her fingers in his long hair. Pulling him closer, within seconds he’s over top of her as their lips move urgently.

Pelvis to pelvis, with both her hands in his hair, and both his on either side of her head, they finally break apart to take a breath, a laugh passing between the two of them.

Her eyes flicker away from his for a moment, “Shooting star,” she whispers quietly, her arms wrapping around his shoulders.

His head turns to look up at the sky, the light from the stars reflecting off the blue of his eyes as she finds herself unable to look away from him. “You make a wish?” he asks as he looks back down to her.

“Maybe I did,” she says softly before pulling him back down by his shoulders so his forehead is pressed to hers, his hair making a curtain around their faces. “What about you?”

“I’m pretty happy with the present moment,” he admits before pressing his lips to hers once again.

“You going to get out to give me a proper goodbye?” she teases standing in front of the driver side door after their drive back to her place.

“Of course,” he answers, getting out to pull her into an embrace. She settles into him immediately before turning her face up toward his to receive a soft kiss.

“I could get used to this,” she murmurs against the fabric of his shirt, a happy laugh coming from him.

“Well you’re going to have to if you stick to your word,” he teases.

“How far’s your drive?” she asks as her arms squeeze him tighter, not wanting to let go just yet.

“Well,” he mutters, sounding unsure about answering. “It’s about an hour.”

“An hour!?” she exclaims, pulling back from him to look at the sheepish look on his face. “You’re shittin’ me right?”

“It’s alright, not that bad,” he shrugs.

“Why didn’t you tell me before? I wouldn’t have suggested the movie or the field, you could have gone home hours ago. It’s like…” she lets go of him to pull her phone out and look at the time. “Lewis it’s 1 AM.”

“We’d just been having lunch dates so it wasn’t a big deal,” he says. “Had plenty of time to get back. You wanted dinner tonight so I was fine with doing the drive late.”

“But we could have come back hours ago so you wouldn’t be this late,” she argues.

“I didn't want to go then,” he answers simply. “I wanted to watch the movie with you, I wanted to go out to the field. I don’t mind getting back late.”

“Lewis that’s stupid, you should have said something,” she huffs before looking toward her house. “Alright turn your car off and get your ass inside, you’re staying here tonight.”

“I- wait what?” he asks astonished. “Staying with you?”

“I’m not letting you drive an hour back home this late, I have a spare bedroom you can you take,” she answers heading toward the door.

“Oh, ok,” he replies still sounding surprised. Getting into his car quickly, he shuts it off then slams the door shut to head into her apartment.

After he makes it through the door, she locks it behind him and beckons him in toward the spare room. Flipping the light on she rummages through the closet to pull out a towel for him. “I don’t think I have anything that’ll be your size, but if you want to shower and at least wash your shirt or something the washer is in the closet in the hall.”

“I usually just sleep in my pants, rest of my clothes should be fine for tomorrow,” he replies, running his hand through his hair awkwardly.

“Bathroom is at the end of the hall on the left, my room on the right. You know where the kitchen is,” she rattles off as she heads back toward the door of the room. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Quickly shutting the bedroom door behind her, she rushes to her bedroom to get changed, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. She knew if she’d stayed a second longer in there she’d have just had him get in her bed. And she wasn’t sure if they were there yet. Maybe they were. Maybe they weren’t. Being rejected wasn’t how she wanted to end what had been a good night.

After getting changed, she cracked her door open in case he needed her, and flipped her lights off before crawling into bed.

It was odd she realized. It wasn’t like this was the only time she’d ever brought a man here. But it was definitely the first that she’d made one spend the night in her spare bedroom. Though she’d known most of them longer than she’d known Lewis. Yet… could she say she had the same butterflies he had her feeling? Probably not.

Frustrated, she hugged her pillow to her chest and closed her eyes in an attempt to sleep.

After a few minutes, she hears the door to spare bedroom open, and footsteps coming down the hall. He reached the bathroom, obviously trying to be quiet, but knocked something over in the process as she hears a curse come from the room.

Laughing under her breath she opens her eyes to stare at the blank ceiling above her. After what felt like an eternity, which in reality was probably only five minutes, the bathroom door swings back open, spilling the light into the entrance of her bedroom.

“Lewis?” she calls out before she can stop herself, mentally cursing as she sees him hesitantly lean into the room.

“Everything ok?” he asks.

“No, get in here,” she hisses, sitting up to look at him.

“Wait what?” he hesitates, most of his body still behind the door.

She sighs and runs her hands over her face, “I want you to come sleep in my bed with me Lewis, if that’s not something you want, you can just go back to the other bedroom and we’ll pretend this didn’t happen.”

“I, uh, I don’t mind,” he answers letting go of the door. “But I’m already in my pants, if that’s a problem.”

“Nah, just don’t try anything, I’m tired,” she jokes as she slides back under the sheets.

Stepping into the room, he closes the door behind him before heading over to the other side of the bed and sliding in next to her.

Almost immediately she leans into his chest, and he wraps his arms around her. Laying her head against him she sighs happily as he chuckles.

“Just wanted a little cuddle huh?” he asks as he settles in.

“Mhm,” she hums back. “I’m not sick of you yet.”

“Are we… serious?” he asks gently as he rests his head on hers.

“I’d say betrothed is serious,” she jokes.

“Yeah I know, but that’s been a joke,” he insists. “I just… want to know if this is serious for you.”

“Is it serious for you?”

“Yes.”

“And it’s serious for me, you’re mine then,” she mumbles, feeling the sleep already starting to take over as she enjoys his warmth.

“I guess so,” he says lifting his head to press a kiss to her forehead. “Sweet dreams hun.”

-----

PART 1

Masterlist

Request List

#lewis capaldi #lewis capaldi x reader #lewiscapaldi #lewis capaldi imagines #divinely uninspired to a hellish extent #our chaotic life #fanfiction #celebrity imagines #someone you loved

58 notes · View notes

lokiandbuckyaremine · 4 years

Text

The Guy Next Door

Prompt: do you think you could do something where the readers famous too (singer preferably) and she used to date tom holland but he cheated on her (i’m sorry i love tom though lol)and now like a few years later she has to do a project with the marvel cast and he’s there but she like catches chris evans eye or something and they hit it off? so like there’s an age gap and stuff ~ Requested by anonymous

Pairings: Tom Holland x Reader, Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, slight angst, but fluff with your fav blonde guy ;)

“Get out Tom! You don’t live here anymore!” The scene was replaying over and over in your head as you sat on your bed with a guitar in hand. Tears were streaming down your face as the words to your new song poured out of your mouth. Why were you crying? Tom left you 3 years ago.....why was the pain still there?

You had met Tom Holland three years ago while you were both acting in a musical together, knowing that he was a great performer and dancer. The way he smiled and made you feel inside instantly had you falling in love with him. That was until he got involved with Hollywood and cheated on you with his co-actress, Zendaya. He pleaded and pleaded with you to stay, claiming that it was only “on-set” feelings for her. It didn’t matter....between what the critics were saying as well as what you saw for yourself, you knew that he loved her more than he did you. As much as it hurt for you to accept this, you had your music to keep you grounded.

A knock on your apartment door extracted you from your daydreaming. You rarely got visitors, despite being a famous musician. Silence and solitude was what you were going for when you moved into an apartment complex, hidden from a part of the world. Walking to the door with a shaky hand, you open to reveal a very tall and handsome man in front of you. His hair was tucked under a navy blue cap, and he wore a small beard on his strong jawline. His soft lips curved up into a smile as he tilted his hat at you. “Hi! I guess I’m your new neighbor. Just wanted to stop by and introduce myself.”

You smiled back at him shyly. “Well welcome to the hood. You don’t have any ferrets do you?” The man chuckled and looked at you oddly. “Uh, no. Can’t say I do. Why?” You giggled back and leaned up against the doorway. “Cause the last guy did, they got loose, and the entire place smelled like dirty animals. Guess you can stay here then.” You winked at the man, and this seemed to make him relax. “Well good. Name is Chris by the way.” He stuck out his strong hand for you to shake. “Y/N. Pleasure to meet you.”

Chris nodded in response, and peeked inside your apartment. His eyes landed on the guitar that laid across the couch. “You play?” You glanced back to where he was looking and nodded. “Yea, I write, play, and sing. Kind of my passion. Hope you don’t mind. May keep you up some nights.” He batted his beautiful blue eyes at you and smirked. “Not one bit. I happen to love music myself.” A bit of silence fell between the both of you until he thought of something and snapped his finger. “Oh my goodness! You’re y/f/n y/l/n! The girl from LA that became the youngest musician to have a #1 hit on the charts.”

You could feel your cheeks getting hot, and you nodded softly. “Yea, ha! Guess my secret is out.” Chris shoved his hands in his jeans and rocked back and forth on his feet. “This is so cool! And I would’ve never guessed you were 24. You’re so mature and womanly for your age.” Realizing what just came out of his mouth, he smacked his forehead. “Sorry. That didn’t come out right. I meant you’re very pretty and well-kept for your age.”

You giggled and could feel how red your face was getting. “I think I’m becoming a new shade of red. Thanks to you.” The tension between you two was building and you couldn’t help but get that tingly feeling in your stomach. You haven’t felt that since, well, Tom was around. It felt good and right, although you couldn’t help but feel like Chris was older than you and might not want to take a chance.

“You wear the shade very nicely.” He leaned in towards you, giving you a full view of his face. You nearly fell backwards when you realized who it was. “OH MY GOD! You’re Chris Evans! I should’ve known by your dorkiness!” The two of you fell into a pool of laughter and he removed his cap, letting his short blonde hair fall out. “You caught me. Yea I’m going to be living here for a while. Got a new Avengers piece that’s going to start filming soon.”

Thinking that it was rude of you to keep him outside, you decided to invite him to come in. “Why don’t you come in for some coffee? My treat.” Chris began taking off his jacket and smirked. “I thought you’d never ask”.

-------------------------------------

Months passed, and almost everyday you and Chris would spend hours in one another’s apartment either talking, cooking, or doing something stupid. You both were becoming very close friends and it helped you fill that empty void that Tom had left you in. Chris was everything dreamed of, maybe even more. You knew that you both wanted more than friends but you couldn’t help and think he was refraining due to the age gap between the both of you. You brushed the thought away from you and just soaked up every moment you had with him. Friends was fine....for now.

June rolled around, which meant that you wouldn’t be seeing Chris for a very long time. This was the beginning of the filming for the Marvel movie, and he would be straight out. You missed his presence in your apartment, and begged this time would pass so you could see him again. On the bright side, your agent managed to get you an acting spot in a new movie coming out. He didn’t give you any details except the time you needed to be on set and where it was.

When the time came, you grew nervous because this was the first big role you had in a while. Yes you were a musician, but you loved to act as well. When you got to the set, you saw a whole bunch of campers lined up around the outside of the lot. A man with sunglasses began to approach you. “Miss y/l/n?” You nodded and stopped in front of him. “Nice to meet you. I will be your guard as well as your assistant. Follow me please.” You followed the stocky man across the lot and looked around. Coming to realization, you got excited quick because you were on the set of that new Marvel movie. That means that Chris would be here, or at least you hoped so. Your agent was a cheeky bastard....

The guard stopped in front of a camper and motioned towards it. “This will be your camper as well as dressing room. Anytime you need breaks, rest, or to catch up on your script, this will be your place to do so. If you need me for anything, I left my number on the counter. If I am not around to guide you or assist you, on either side of you is Mr. Pratt and Mr. Holland. Shall I help you with you bags?” You gulped when your agent said ‘Mr. Holland’. Did he mean Tom? Was he here?

You smiled softly at him. “No thank you. I just need to be alone for a sec.” He nodded and straightened his jacket. “As you wish, y/n. I will be roaming around if you need me for anything.” He walked away, leaving you in a panicking state. You glanced to the right of your camper and saw in big letters “TOM HOLLAND” painted across the door. Just as you were about to dodge away, you heard his camper door open and shut. “Y/N? Is that you? It’s good to see you” Slowly turning to him, you pushed your lips together in a tight smile. “Wish I could say the same to you.”

He walked down the steps and came over to give you a hug. You pushed him away. “Don’t touch me, Tom! We are not friends, not even acquaintances.” He laughed nervously and gave you a confused look. “I can’t give you a hug now. Why is that so wrong?” You glared at him and started to point at him. “Because that gesture suggests that you and I are close or have some connection. You fucking cheated on me, Tom! You could say a thousand fuckin sorries and plead on your hands and knees, but what you did to me was wrong. If you didn’t love me, why didn’t you just say so in the beginning and save me from this hell?”

Tom was taken back by your aggression, but deep down he knew you were right. “I didn’t expect to fall for her, y/n. I haven’t spoken to you in years, give me a chance.” You mouth dropped and you slammed down on the rail. “Are you fucking serious right now?! I didn’t expect my boyfriend and the man I fell in love with, or boy I should say, to cheat on me! But here we are!” The two of you continued to argue, until you heard a “Hey!” being shouted from behind you.

You turned around and nearly broke out in tears when you saw who it was. “Chris!! Man am I glad to see you!” You ran to him and he grabbed in a big bear hug, your favorite. “Hey Vanilla Spice (His cute nickname for you), what are you doing here?!” Tom rolled his eyes and he was witnessing this interaction between the both of you. “Uh, Chris. WE were kinda in the middle of something.” Chris tightened his fist. “Tom, I heard the entire thing. I’m sure the entire lot did. Dude, you lost and now you need to accept the fact that you fucked up”. Your eyes switched between the two guys and you smiled, knowing Chris was defending you. “Look, you can drop the Captain America act off set. Stop trying to be the hero and think you know what’s going on.” Tom began to walk towards Chris, and not in a good way. Chris followed and pointed at Tom’s chest. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but you were in love with y/n, got an acting job as Spiderboy with Marvel Studios, had a few scenes with Zendaya, developed a crush, slept with her making the tabloids very happy, broke y/n’s heart, and now are too pussy to admit it. Did I leave any details out?”

You covered your mouth trying to hide the laughter with how Chris just literally did the most sexy thing and defended you like his life depended on it. This left Tom speechless, and he crossed in arms in defeat. “Look, you have no idea how bad I feel about it. I never meant to hurt her.” Chris furrowed his brow and Tom and clenched his jaw. “Then maybe you should of thought of that as you were fucking Zendaya in you trailer.” Hearing this, you freaked. “It happened in THIS CAMPER??!! I’m gonna kill you Tom!” You started to lunge at him, but Chris caught your torso with his strong hands. “Hey, y/n. It’s not worth it. Let’s get you away from him.”

Putting his arm around you, Chris walked you across the lot to his camper and let you welcome yourself in. Once you were both inside, he enveloped you in another hug and pressed a soft kiss on the top of your head. “Gosh, I missed your scent.” You giggled and squeezed him tighter. “I missed you too, Cap.” Pulling away, you both stared at one another for a few seconds before pulling apart. That tension was still there and it was killing you. You sat down on his couch and began to fiddle with the corner of a pillow. “Why was I so stupid to even think he was the one for me? Am I that blind to love?”

Chris shushed you and brought you a bottle of water. “You’re not stupid, darlin. You just don’t know that what you’re looking for has been in front of you the entire time”. Realizing what he said, you glanced up at him with teary eyes. “What? I thought, wait what?” He chuckled and joined you on the couch. “Look, I’ve had the biggest crush on you ever since you first invited me into your apartment. I didn’t want to proceed with it because I didn’t know how you would feel about the age gap. But seeing the way Tom treating you, made me want you so badly and show you how a man should really respect and treat you.”

The tension was breaking and you never felt so relaxed and happy in your entire life. “Chris, I’ve liked you too. A lot. And it’s been driving me crazy thinking that you and I would never be more than friends. I didn’t know how you felt about the gap either, but I can’t go another day thinking that our relationship is not going to change. Ever since you came into my life and moved in next door, the emptiness and shadow that I was left in is gone. I’m willing to give this a chance if you are too.” Looking up at your best friend, he grinned the biggest you’ve ever seen him do. Chris took your hand in his and pressed a sweet kiss to each knuckle. “It would be my pleasure to call you mine, and spend the rest of my days with you, Vanilla Spice.”

Tears broke from your eyes and you threw your arms around his neck. “I love you so much, Chris. Please don’t ever leave me.” He grabbed your face gently and leaned in for a tender kiss before touching his nose with yours. “I love you more, y/n. And not a chance I will ever leave you.” The kiss resumed and you both got lost into one another’s arms and affection.

What can you say......he was just the guy next door. ;)

A/N: OK!!!! I HAD SO SO SO much fun writing this and really hope you guys like. I love Tom Holland and i hated making him so mean but it fit perfectly with what I wanted. Please LIKE, COMMENT, and REBLOG!!!!! (REQUESTS OPEN TOO)

Tag List (Open): @jobean12-blog @littlenerdgirl16 @jokesonjess @jewels2876 @mashtons-dirtbag @hernameiswhatt @ballyhoobarnes @lauxeyson @thiddlestoff @thatbitchsaidhi @marvelous-heroimagines @iamwarrenspeace @violentlybarnes @moondancewrites @toddneilanderperry @mizz-kraziii @lovelybones81 @thinemineours @godohammers @buckywhoops @thatfangirl16 @thummbelina @notyourtypicalrose

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #tom holland #chris evans fluff #captain america #marvel #request

82 notes · View notes

simplylove101 · 4 years

Text

Random Tangent About Ships & Cheating SLs

So, I was talking with my friend Lauren (@backtothestart02) yesterday about how when it comes to watching our shows and seeing certain ships of ours having cheating sls & how that affects how we feel towards them. This convo kinda came about cuz of the recent development we’ve heard about on Riverdale where Betty & Archie are gonna be cheating on their respective significant others with each other in the next episode... Which, okay, at this point I don’t even watch the show anymore since it sounds like it’s pretty much on crack these days (at least more than usual lol) so this isn’t your typical rant about “OMG HOW DARE YOU MESS WITH MY OTP LIKE THAT” in regards to that sl (re: yes, Bughead was my ship when I watched it but my investment in the show has been pretty much non-existent for way over a year now so that’s not my goal with this rant fyi lol) It’s just more the frustration of the excitement I’ve seen from people being all “YAY CHEATING” Cuz, yeah ok, it’s a silly TV show. Obviously. I get that lmao It’s just the reactions I’ve been seeing that are funny cuz there’s people who talk about toxic relationships and normally how cheating is a dealbreaker but in this one specific case we’re all suddenly cool with it... Okay lmao but yeah, if the ship has to happen because a character died or cheating is involved... doesn’t that already cheapen that new relationship too (and their character development along with it? lol)

Anyway, I actually just really wanted to use this as a chance to rant about my ships that made me deal with cheating sls and why those are basically the worse “obstacles” a show can throw at ships. At least that is, if you want people to root for them long term. lol Cheating obviously happens in real life, but then that’s usually the end of a relationship. Which is why I don’t think it’s surprising that when it comes to fiction, I find the element of cheating to be something that kinda taints my otps for me if it occurs in the story.

I can think of a couple of cases where I was able to accept it cuz the show mostly did right by them after the situation by showing the growth and how that would never been an issue again. But the cases where the cheating happens and it just feels like this thing that makes it so you can’t enjoy any of the things that came before it with that couple? That sucks. It feels cheap and like, really bad writing.

I think my thoughts on this subject stems all the way back to my very first TV ship: Jackie & Hyde from That 70′s Show. Anyone who really watched that show remembers that 2 episode arc of where Hyde thought Jackie cheated on him with Kelso (she hadn’t ofc but he did see her comforting him in a way that would be suspicious considering Kelso had wanted her back) so he cheated on her with a random nurse as payback. I remember watching the next episode heartbroken at the scene where Hyde has to tell her what he did after he realizes that he pulled that move for no reason at all and Jackie ultimately breaks up with him on the spot. Which I applauded her for. Because the girl had gotten cheated on by Kelso so much that she vowed that she wouldn’t let that happen to her again. Her relationship with Steven was supposed to be different, and up until that point, had been. It was a step back for all the development they had spent with them all season, but with how raw Hyde was during that scene and the scene where he tells Jackie that he loves her (evidenced by the fact that he actually isn’t wearing his usual sunglasses in either of those scenes), it can be said that it was clearly just a momentary regression. Do I think they could have handled it better towards getting them back together? Yeah. But then it was a sitcom so you gotta keep that in mind too. lol Otherwise, they mostly did right by them once they were back together until things got shaky again. But then this rant isn’t about how they deserved the endgame they were supposed to get and were robbed of. LOL But yeah, this is one of the rare cases they weren’t completely tainted for me.

youtube

(For those of you that have never seen this ep....)

Another case of a ship where cheating happened, but in this case did have my ship pretty much tainted for me at the time was Joan & Adam on Joan of Arcadia. This is more a lowkey scenario cuz nobody who sees this will know them basically but I loved them dearly and I watched that show (pun not intended at all lol) religiously when it was on so when that sl came very much out of nowhere I was (I’d say) rightfully upset about it. There was no reason to have Adam cheat on Joan. It was just plain character assassination of a fan favorite, and for what? Drama??? I still have no idea. All I know it was a far cry from the boy who charmed his way into Joan’s heart in S1 who wasn’t even thinking about sex when they got together (Heck, *she* was the one who thought they were supposed to have sex in S1 at one point and again, that wasn’t even on his radar at the time lol). Enter later S2, he makes her feel pressured about them doing it a bit and then later he cheats on her with this random girl that we saw a couple times talking to him because of this... Um?? That’s just bad writing cuz it’s OOC. lol What’s worse is that Joan found out about this in the 19th episode of the season so when the show got cancelled, there had been barely any development after that. There was some since there was like 3 episodes or so after that, which meant there was just enough time to get them to a sorta neutral place with each other since they had the same friend group but otherwise, not much closure for shippers. Which was frustrating. You can’t just take that sharp of a turn in the story that late in a season with an unguaranteed next season with your main couple, especially if the cheating is coming out of left field. You just can’t, not if you want me to root for them at least. So.... yeah. That was bad. lol Definitely an example of why sometimes cheating does not need to be a storyline on a show.

youtube

(For context...)

I was trying to think if there were any ships before this one that i would want to mention, and there might have been, but I can’t think of them at the moment. Which means next on the list is Zoe & Wade on Hart of Dixie. They’re still a big otp for me, which does show I was able to move past their cheating sl but again, they did get tainted a bit too. In some ways, their sl gave me some deja vu with Jackie & Hyde. At least in the way that the guy chooses to sleep with someone in a very rash way, and you just know this is gonna lead to an automatic breakup the second the girl finds out. There was no denying Zoe was gonna break up with him. It was heartbreaking to watch her come to the realization that he had cheated on her. And it was frustrating because it felt like they only got to be a proper couple for like maybe 4 episodes and then they pulled that move. It was like, you’ve been setting me up to root for this couple and... now what? They had undeniable chemistry so I guess the writers always counted on that for when they would ultimately bring them back together and they were right. I was able to root for them again, and it helped there had been some time that had passed (a whole season of them not being together!) and I was missing them a lot. But that said, it still felt like a misstep. Because when you wanna write a breakup, we should just throw in a cheating sl then? There were plenty of other ways to break up Zade, but they went in that direction. It just felt very lame, lazy and pure character regression in a way that didn’t make sense with the story they were telling imo. They were able to show that Wade had matured later on so it worked out, but this is one that made me upset so thank goodness they made up for it. lol

youtube

(I dare you not to tear up lol)

Okay, the last ships I’m gonna mention briefly are both on The Bold Type.

Everyone in that fandom has expressed their frustration with how they handled the Kadena sl where Kat cheated and then they tried to have a open relationship to let her explore a bit or whatever in S2. I actually get where it wasn’t that bad cuz Adena told her she could see the other girls. Enter the next season, Kadena have sex when Kat is still in a relationship technically (I don’t care if she got the approval to see if there were still feelings there or not from Tia, that didn’t mean sleep with the ex. That meant talk) This is one of those cases where for me, cheating is never the ideal way to bring a ship back into the story. I know it happens but this didn’t make Kat or Adena look that great as characters for me. I know shit happens, just saying from a preference. Not gonna get deep into the awkwardness of S4 between these two, beyond saying that after S1, it does seem like the writers don’t fully know how to write them now still. They were a fan favorite ship for the show, and I think despite the bad writing for them sometimes in these later seasons, still are, but they really gotta start being more consistent with them if they want them to be rootworthy again. And please write Adena in character my goodness. The way they wrote her in 4x07 was just not it.

Which brings me to Janestripe,

They seriously dedicated a whole first half of a season dragging out the reveal that Ryan did more than kiss the lady he cheated on Jane with. I know beforehand the majority of the fandom hated Ryan already and thought Jane should have been with Ben instead, which honestly... ok, whatever. I still say Jane was having doubts about Ben so she was already starting to check out of that relationship a bit before Ryan declared his feelings for her at the end of S2. That said, once again, cheating isn’t ideal so I liked that Jane turned him down until she broke things off with Ben. I think people forget that the person in the middle of a triangle is making a choice and just cuz it’s not the choice you the viewer wanted doesn’t necessarily mean that it has to be the wrong one. Frankly, Ben was kinda dry for me. Idk. Anyway, I appreciated that they were trying to tell a story of growth for Ryan... Until they weren’t. lol They really could have kept it as a kiss but they started planting those little signs that it wasn’t between Ryan looking guilty during convos and then him telling the story again about what happened & it sounding like bullshit. We all knew but they made us wait 9 eps for Jane to figure out. Which was frustrating. I get what message they were trying to send in the end and I respected that but they couldn’t do it faster?? They were sending a lot of signs they were making them endgame by showing how serious they were getting but now? I don’t see them ever interacting again, unless they did find a reason to bring Ryan back but Idk. I just don’t get painting them in that kinda light if you were just planning to tear them down before the season was even over, you know? They could have just ended them in S3 and I would have got it. But they dragged it out into a whole another season and why??? lol

youtube

I’m trying to figure out what more I wanna say about this topic. lol Beyond just thinking that I can’t stand cheating sls. I can barely stand any kinda love triangle sls as it is. Why must these tropes exist?? All they do is cause drama in fandoms. Which is prob why I don’t do them in the first place. lol

Anyway, I’m done now. lol

#shipper rant #don't mind me idek if any of this was coherent #i just had to get it out lol

2 notes · View notes

having-a-freddie-time · 5 years

Text

Save me

summary: Y/N is trying her hardest to get out of an abusive relationship without telling anyone. However, she can’t always hide the bruises, especially from her best friend since childhood, Ben Hardy. Once he finds out, he tries his best to help her out without her getting hurt.

a/n: whadduupppppp. ik i said i was gonna try and post yesterday but plans changed and i ended up hanging out with my best friend lol. this part is gonna be a little angsty, but it’s mostly a filler chapter ig??

warnings: implied physical/verbal abuse (no descriptions), yelling, cussing, alcohol, drinking, drugs (just implied use)

word count: 2,104 (she’s thiccc. i got carried away SKSKS)

▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪

You sighed deeply as you watched Ben’s car disappear into the night. Turning away from the window, you looked around in your empty flat. You stood in the middle of your living room, swaying your arms around. It was a bit weird not having someone over, granted that someone was chucking a beer bottle at your head. However, kinda felt strange, but felt relaxing as well.

With a shrug of your shoulders, you plopped on the couch and turned your TV on. A re-run of M*A*S*H was playing, a show you grew up watching with your mother. You sighed happily at the memories and with a quick snap of a finger, you were suddenly upset. You hadn’t talked to either your parents or twin brother. You haven’t spoken to your TWIN brother in months. Your actual other half, the person you loved more than anything, your built in best friend. Sure, Ben was your very best friend but twins always have a different connection.

Suddenly you found your eyes pricking with salty tears. How could you have let some drunken idiot control your life? You were so much smarter than that. For God’s sake, you graduated with the highest honors. You couldnt believe you found yourself in this situation.

You shook yourself out of your thoughts and slung yourself off the couch and into the kitchen, while phone in hand. Swiftly unlocking your phone, you went to your contacts. Your finger hovered over ‘twin bubba

“Son of a bitch, where are you Y/N?” Trevor slurred his words and walked into the kitchen. He snarled at you and took a step closer, causing you to back up into the counter.

“Make yourself presentable, we’re having guests over.”

“The hell we are! This is MY-”

You winced loudly as your cheek stung. You held your face, tears threatening to spill. At this point, you couldn’t argue anymore. You lost the courage you had earlier and couldn’t speak.

“Hurry the hell up, you look like shit.”

You pushed past him and ran upstairs. As soon as you spotted the familiar door, you hurried in and locked the door. Another night, another fucking party.

You only washed your hair and brushed your teeth. You didn’t want to bother with makeup, knowing it’d smudge throughout the night. You blew dried your hair and slid into your outfit. The outfit of which contained a simpled black and white striped v-neck, black holy jeans, a maroon cardigan and some random slip on shoes. You thought maybe if you’d 'behave’, you’d have less marks to cover up.

▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪

You sat on the couch, holding hands with Trevor, and a drink in your free hand. Trevor made you act like you actually loved him when his friends were around. You hated it so much and just wanted to leave it all, but something inside you just wouldn’t budge.

You diverted your attention towards some man walking into your home, wearing a black hoodie, some rugged jeans and some old worn out Van’s. In his hand he held a baggie full of weed and a white substance. Oh God.

Trevor waved him over, causing the unknown man to pull his hood down. Trevor let go of your hand and stood up, walking over to Mr. Unknown, handing him a wad of cash. You immediately shot up, speed walking towards the two men.

“Trevor, what in the hell are you doing?” You hissed under your breath. Trevor turned to you, his eyes going dark. “Get the hell away, go sit down.” He waved you off, clearly pissed off.

Soon enough, Trevor came back, holding a brown paper sack. He dumped it out on the table, causing everyone to cheer. Some of his friends pulled out lighters, papers, and some random credit card. You knew exactly what was about to happen which made your stomach do a million somersaults.

Trevor quickly rolled out a joint, lighting it up before you could even blink. He took a huge puff and started passing it around. When it made it your way, you politely declined and passed to someone else.

“Why didn’t you hit it?”

“Because I don’t want to, Trevor.”

Trevor’s nostrils flared, indicating that he was starting to get angry and embarrassed.

At 3 in the morning, the party had dispersed and it was only you and Trevor. You were cleaning up the living room when Trevor came in there, a beer bottle in one hand, and a clenched fist in the other.

“I can’t believe you fucking did that shit in front of my friends.”

“Did what? I did nothing.”

“You embarrassed me, dumb bitch!”

“My fucking bad I didn’t want to fucking get high and drink!”

“You’re so fucking embarrassing! Oh and that little stunt you pulled when my dealer came…”

Trevor took a huge step towards you, hand raised. You felt a stinging pain on your face, causing you to fall yo the ground. You wept and winced, holding your face tightly. Not even a moment later, you felt something break against your back. A beer bottle.

“You’re fucking lucky I’m leaving to go to another party. I’m not fucking bringing your dumbass.”

And with that he left, slamming the door behind him.

▪▪▪▪▪▪▪▪

You finished cleaning the house and fell asleep on the couch. You woke up the next morning to your phone ringing. Squinting, you read the contact and answered with a groggy “Hello”.

“Hey love, Gwil is in town and wants us to meet up with him for brunch. You up for it?”

The thought of getting out of the house resulted in you to groan. It would be nice to get some actual food in your system instead of microwavable macaroni and cheese. However, the thought of getting up made you contemplate.

“Maybe another time Ben.”

“Please Y/N, Gwil is really excited to see us!”

You sighed and threw your head back onto the couch pillow, rubbing your eyes.

“Fine, what time?”

“I’ll pick you up at 10. Seen you soon!”

You said your goodbyes and hung up. Looking at the time, your eyes widened. Crap, it’s already 9:30.

You shot up from the couch, racing to your bedroom. Slipping out of the outfit from last night, you looked around for something to wear.

“Maybe this shirt?” You mumbled to yourself, looking at some random red shirt with a cute little floral pocket on the chest. Looking around, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. A horrified look on your face as you saw a bruise on your eye. You slowly turned around and noticed a huge gash in hot back from last night’s events.

You couldnt go out like this. You look le you had just gotten your shit rocked, which you did. You grabbed a light blue jumper, some black leggings, and ran into the bathroom. You tried to cover up the bruise on your eye but it was no use.

Soon there was a knock at your door, causing you to jump up nine feet in the air. You tossed your hair into a low messy bun, pulling some pieces of baby hairs to style it and grabbed a pair of large sunglasses.

You frantically grabbed your phone, purse and keys. Turning off all the lights, you opened the door with a smile.

“Hello, Ben.” You greeted him as you stepped outside, locking the door and turning towards him. He pulled in for a tight with a huge grin on his face. You almost yelped as he patted your back, right where Trevor threw a beer bottle at.

Ben noticed and pulled away, brows furrowed. “Nothing, just sore from sleeping on the couch last night.” Ben shrugged and but still looked at you suspiciously as you walked towards his car.

After about a 30 minute drive, Ben pulled into this cute little cafe. You hopped out of the car and went around to walk with Ben. As y'all entered the little establishment, you were greeted by Gwil with a very tight “I’ve missed you” hug. His gripped was so tight, your back stung and resulted in you biting your lips harshly before you could yelp.

You hugged him back gently, patting his back. “Miss you too, Gwil.” You giggled and pulled away to look at him. He smiled brightly and planted peck on your cheek, a little greeting thing he did with his friends.

“Missed you tons, love!” Gwil smiled and made his way to Ben, embracing him in another one of his “I’ve missed you” hugs. Once finished, Gwil guided the two of you to a table he had reserved in a more private area of the cafe.

The three of you took a seat and began chatting. Gwil proudly announced he was engaged, which resulted in cheers from you and Ben. You three caught up quickly, which made your heart happy.

Without your realization, you had totally forgotten you were still wearing sunglasses in a building. Gwil noticed and gazed at you.

“Is it too sunny for you in here?” He joked. You were shocked when he had made you realize you still had sunnies on. You bit your lip and shrugged.

“I forgotten that I still had them on.” You giggled quietly and removed them. Boy were you very forgetful today, because you still had a bruise forming on your eye.

Ben looked over at you, his faces falling at the sight. His eyes widened and he nudged your shoulder.

“What in the hell is wrong with your eye?”

“What- Oh my gosh, I totally forgot.”

You instantly covered your eye, playing it off as if you needed to rub it. Gwil looked up from his menu, shocked.

“Y/N, got a bit of a bruise there on your eye.”

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about me. Just clumsy.”

Luckily Gwil bought it and shrugged it off, turning his attention back to his menu. Ben, however, didn’t buy it for one bit.

“Bathroom. Now.”

Ben got up, a fake smile toying at his lips. He excused himself and walked off towards the men’s room. You looked down at your phone, acting as if someone was calling you.

“I hate to leave you alone, but work is calling.” You smiled sheepishly and got up from your seat. Gwil didn’t bother thinking about what had happened, he just continued scanning the menu.

You slipped your phone into the waistband of your leggings and knocked on the bathroom door. Ben opened it and pulled you in.

“Pull your jumper and leggings off. Now.”

“Ben what? Are you bonkers?”

“I’ve seen you in a bikini. Off, now.”

You groaned and slowly peeled off the articles of clothing. Thankfully, you were a sports bra and boy shorts underwear today, so nothing to intimate for Ben to see. You set the clothes on the counter, along with the sunglasses.

Ben gently touched your shoulder, spinning you around slowly. He heart dropped into the Earth’s mantle when he saw the gash on your back. He looked closely, seeing little shards of glass poking from your skin.

“Y/N…”

Tears sprung from your eyes as he whispered your name, so sadly. You spun around and looked at him, your face already red from crying.

“Apparently I had embarrassed him in front of his friends because I didnt want to drink or get fucking high.” You said through a choked sob.

“Oh, love. Why didn’t you call me?”

“I was so scared, Ben. I tried to 'behave’ so he wouldn’t hurt me so bad.”

“You shouldn’t have behave for your boyfriend, he’s not your dad.”

“I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Come one.” Ben grabbed your clothes, gently helping you put them back on. Once they were on, he held onto you as you both stepped out of the bathroom, not caring about what people saw.

“Hey mate, mind if we take this brunch else where? Like my house or something?” Ben asked Gwil with soft ans sad eyes. Gwil caught on and stood up. Luckily he hadn’t ordered yet so it wouldn’t have been such a big deal.

“Of course, I’ll run by the market and grab snacks and stuff for a movie day. Sound good, Y/N?”

You just nodded slowly and leaned in towards Ben. He held you closely and guided you out the door, not before slipping your shades on.

You heard clicking noises, awful familiar to cameras, but you shrugged it off.

No big deal.

•••••••••••••••••••••••

tag list: @benhardyisdaddy @monochromedeacon @queenbbarnes @haileylansley @onexlittlespark

#having a freddie time #ben hardy x reader #ben x reader #ben hardy #bohemian rhapsody #borhap boys #angst #save me #bran writes

100 notes · View notes

ptony2009-blog · 4 years

Text

H2holbro22's Xanga Blog 1.1 7431748 H2holbro22's Xanga Site h2holbro22 [email protected] H2holbro22 H2holbro22 [email protected] H2holbro22 Thu, 29 Sep 2005 23:06:56 -04:00 Hey everyone! How is it goin? My day started off really bad because my favorite necklace fell off this morning and I didn't realize it... until I got on the bus of course. Luckily, I stepped on it when I got off the bus and now I'm wearing it lol. I can't just get another necklace like that becuz I got it as a gift from my friend when he went to another country. Today in ecology, we went outside and collected grasshoppers for a lab and we found 2 grasshoppers on top of each other lmao. Anyways, I'm just throwing my hackysack up in the air cuz I'm bored as hell and it's a school night. Btw, I think I'm getting some kind of "signs" becuz everytime i look at the clock, it's either 3:33, 5:55, or 12:34. It's really freaking me out. But regardless, at 12:00 tonight, it will be Monday, September 13th, 2005 and the new Trapt cd will come out!!! Yeah I'm definitly gonna get that tomorrow. I'm also gonna go over to Sarah's house and get sick with her lol! She's feeling sick so chances are, I will get sick too, but I don't care. I actually like being sick in a way... you get more attention, you get lots of soup, you can stay home from school, parents do whatever you say! Ugh but then there is that damn cough syrup Robitussin stuff that tastes like kerosene mixed with antifreeze . Oh yeah, I saw the worst thing when I was driving with my dad a few days ago. A squirrel got ran over by a car, but it was squirming around before it died and blood was going everywhere. It was pretty sad. So does anyone have the newest Good Charlotte cd? I've been listening to that lately and it's pretty good. I like a bunch of the songs and I even put "Predictable" in my stereo thing. Yeah enough of the randomness....

So on Friday, Sarah came over to my house and we went out to eat at O'Charley's and then we went to Pet Supplies Plus. The parrot was saying "hello" to us... at one point, I tried to make the parrot say "bitch" but it didnt work lol. After that, we hung out at my house and kinda watched Freddy Got Fingered.. wow thats a hilarious movie. Then on Saturday, I went to see The Exorcism of Emily Rose with Sarah and a few of the parts made me jump lol. Even though I knew something was gonna jump out. It wasn't that bad of a movie.. it was based on a true story too! After that, I went to visit my uncle in the hospital... he got ran over by a truck and now he is in a coma... I couldn't even look at him, it was pretty bad... but eventually we left the hospital and got home. Then I went over to Sarah's and we watched the OSU vs. Texas game. On Sunday, me and Joe played hackysack and Kart for a while. After that, me and Sarah saw The Cave and it wasn't really that great, so I wouldn't recommend seein it. It was boring at a lot of parts... it reminded me of one of the many repeated movies that they show on the Sci-Fi channel. But it was still fun because I got to be with Sarah! I can always have fun around Sarah, even if were just sitting on a concrete sidewalk doing nothing.

This part right here is for you Sarah, since it might seem like I never really take the time to say stuff... but even though I don't usually express my feelings through Xanga, yeah lol. SARAH YOU'RE AN AMAZING GIRLFRIEND AND I LOVE YOU!!! I don't know why it feels like I've known you for years, but I think its cuz I can talk to you about anything and everything... so you've become really close to me in such a short period of time.. 1 month and 8 days to be exact. You mean soo much to me, and I don't wanna lose you. I know I won't though because I totally trust you. You always know how to cheer me up, whether its in person, on the phone, through a text, or whatever else. Don't ever worry about losing me because the only way that would happen is if I died, or if you were to cheat on me or something like that (which you wouldn't lol). So I'm more likely to die than anything. But above anything, I love you soo much baby and don't EVER forget that!!!

Now for some pictures... I got a picture of my AWESOME drawings of a shoe and sunglasses and a picture of me attempting to BLIND my cat lol. Enjoy

Cya later everyone and please leave me some comments!

]]> 2005-09-12 22:17:49 2005-09-13 02:17:49 open Publish post 346791751 1 2005-09-12 22:22:00 2005-09-13 02:22:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 681123026 kinda watched the movie lol. ok well im going to get in the bed now. i love u so much baby! im gonna call u. XOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOOXOXOXOXO]]> 1 2005-09-12 22:24:00 2005-09-13 02:24:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 681128468 yay for shoes and crosseyed cats. i told you it would go crosseyed and it did. muahah. lol.

nice sandals today : )

]]> 1 2005-09-12 22:26:00 2005-09-13 02:26:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 681136291 chris!!! I never comment you anymore.. whats up with tha? lol. ill see ya around. lylab

muahz <3

]]> 1 2005-09-15 20:56:00 2005-09-16 00:56:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 686096226 ur drawings are sweet, wheres the shaver?]]> 1 2005-09-23 17:03:00 2005-09-23 21:03:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 699587982 1 2005-09-28 21:21:00 2005-09-29 01:21:00 lil_HunnyBunny [email protected] http://lil-hunnybunny.xanga.com/ 0 19957830 0 709456753 hey this hope. you dont know me but im heather's bestest best friend. i just wanted to say that you draw so fricken awsome!!!!!comment me back. cya

Hope

]]> 1 2005-10-21 20:37:00 2005-10-22 00:37:00 lil_HunnyBunny [email protected] http://lil-hunnybunny.xanga.com/ 0 19957830 0 751231697 Hey wats up random props

Peace <33Ashley

]]> 1 2006-07-30 21:46:00 2006-07-31 01:46:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 1154666342 Peace <33Ashley]]> 1 2006-08-10 12:42:00 2006-08-10 16:42:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 1165135698 H2holbro22 Thu, 08 Sep 2005 22:33:57 -04:00 Picture break!! Basically, Monica straightened my hair because we wanted to see what it would look like and it turned out looking pretty awesome. So heres just a few pics.. oh yea and my cat lol...

Not half bad. Yea leave some comments!

]]> 2005-09-08 22:33:57 2005-09-09 02:33:57 open Publish post 344126208 1 2005-09-09 15:13:00 2005-09-09 19:13:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 674699405 1 2005-09-09 20:36:00 2005-09-10 00:36:00 n1ckd33s [email protected] http://n1ckd33s.xanga.com/ 0 11164525 0 675254761 ok, enough of my "gay hairstylist specialist" attitudeIt rocks though, wear it like that more often, 'chicks 'ill dig it']]> 1 2005-09-09 23:08:00 2005-09-10 03:08:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 675505483 1 2005-09-10 10:02:00 2005-09-10 14:02:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 675994007 hey! thanks for the comment. actually i dont go to central anymore. im at north for career center for the semester. its kinda good though, i get to get away from everyone. but yeah, ill be back at central next semester which is pretty good <3 im so fucking happy we won last night! omg, it was just AWESOME you missed out on a PERFECT game, i dont know. we deserved to win so im happy about that, but illl talk to you later babe! IM me sometime -RUK ME HARDx3-]]> 1 2005-09-10 13:32:00 2005-09-10 17:32:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 676344488 1 2005-09-10 16:56:00 2005-09-10 20:56:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 676696691 I see you like Soccer and Chipotle me to..]]> 1 2005-10-25 22:37:00 2005-10-26 02:37:00 PyRoKiTtY14 [email protected] http://pyrokitty14.xanga.com/ 0 3592951 0 759118122 H2holbro22 Wed, 07 Sep 2005 23:35:28 -04:00 Hey peeps! Here i decided to fill out a survey that i got from my my baby, so just check it out. There are a few interesting answers here lol:

( ) Smoked a joint.( ) Crashed a car.( ) Stolen a car.(x) Been in love.( ) Had a threesome.(x) Been dumped.( ) Shoplifted.( ) Been fired.(x) Been in a fist fight.(x) Snuck out of the house.(x) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.( ) Been arrested.( ) Made out with a stranger.(x) Gone on a blind date.(x) Lied to a friend.( ) Had a crush on a teacher.( ) Been to Europe.(x) Skipped school.( ) Seen someone die.( ) Been to Canada.( ) Been to Mexico.(x) Been on a plane.( ) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.( ) Thrown up in a bar.( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire.(x) Eaten Sushi.(X) Been snowboarding(x) Met someone from the internet in person( ) Been moshing at a concert.( ) Been in an abusive relationship.(x) Taken painkillers.(x) Love someone or miss someone right now.(x) Laid and watched cloud shapes go by.(x) Made a snow angel.( ) Had a tea party.(x) Flown a kite.(x) Built a sand castle.(x) Gone puddle jumping.(x) Played dress up.(x) Jumped into a pile of leaves.(x) Gone sledding.(x) Cheated while playing a game.(x) Been lonely.(x) Fallen asleep at work/school( ) Used a fake ID.(x) Watched the sun set.( ) Felt an earthquake.(x) Touched a snake.( ) Slept beneath the stars.(x) Been tickled.( ) Been robbed.(x) Been misunderstood.(x) Pet a reindeer/goat.(x) Won a contest.( ) Run a red light.( ) Been suspended from school.(x) Been in a car accident.(x) Had braces.(x) Felt like an outcast.( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night.(x) Had deja vu.( ) Danced in the moonlight.( ) Hated the way you look.(x) Witnessed a crime.( ) Pole danced.( ) Been obsessed with post-it notes.(x) Walked barefoot through the mud.(x) Been lost.( ) Been to the opposite side of the world.( ) Swam in the ocean.( ) Felt like dying.( )Cried yourself to sleep

(x) Played cops and robbers.(x)Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers.(x)Sung karaoke(x) Paid for a meal with only coins.(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't.(x) Made prank phone calls.(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue.( ) Danced in the rain.(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus.(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe.( ) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about.(x) Blown bubbles.( ) Had a bonfire on the beach.( ) Crashed a party.(x) Gone rollerskating.(x) Had a wish come true.(x) Worn pearls.( ) Jumped off a bridge.( ) Screamed the word penis in public.( ) Ate dog/cat food.( ) Told a complete stranger you loved them.( ) Kissed a mirror.(x) Sang in the shower.( ) Owned a little black dress.(x) Had a dream that you married someone.(x) Glued your hand to something.( ) Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole.( ) Kissed a fish.(x) Worn the opposite sex's clothes.( ) Been a cheerleader.(x) Sat on a roof top.(x) Screamed at the top of your lungs.( ) Done a one-handed cartwheel.(x) Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours.(x) Stayed up all night.(x) Didn't take a shower for a week( ) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree.(x) Climbed a tree.(x) Had a tree house.( ) Are scared to watch scary movies.( ) Believe in ghost.( ) Have more than 30 pairs of shoes.( ) Worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say.( ) Gone streaking.(x) Played ding-dong-ditch.(x) Played chicken.(x) Been pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on.(x) Been told you're hot by a complete stranger.( ) Broken a bone.(x) Been easily amused.(x) Caught a fish then ate it.(x) Caught a butterfly.(x) Laughed so hard you cried.( ) Cried so hard you laughed.(x) Mooned/flashed someone.(x) Had someone moon/flash you.(x) Cheated on a test(x) Forgotten someone's name.(x) Slept naked.( ) French braided someone's hair.( ) Grown a beard.( ) Belong to the KKK.( ) In love with an older person(x) Tired of this survey

Well leave some comments, cuz I know there are kool people that always do . Cya later guys!

]]> 2005-09-07 23:35:28 2005-09-08 03:35:28 open Publish post 343536649 hey honey.....when did u wittness a crime??

I LOVE YOU!!!!

]]> 1 2005-09-08 16:56:00 2005-09-08 20:56:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 673159705 H2holbro22 Tue, 06 Sep 2005 20:02:59 -04:00 Hi. How's it going? I'm gonna write in this while I'm waiting for dinner lol... I had to survive the day by eating a banana, a granola bar, and a Twix. So when i got home, i ate like everything (an entire bag of goldfish crackers, a sandwich, and a hot pocket). I just didnt feel too great today so i hardly ate. I'm getting really sick of hearing Yellowcard lol... that damn violin is getting annoying.

Alright well me and Sarah's 1 month was 2 days ago, how kool is that? We went to Mi Mexico II and hung out. Then yesterday we saw the Dukes of Hazzard and then went back to my house and watched Blue Streak (i love that movie) and then we walked over to Joe's house lol. After me and Sarah hung out, i went to Mejiers with Joe to buy his bro a b-day present. We chose a card out that said "a happy birthday to my favorite granddaughter" or sumthin lol. And we got him Reese Sticks cuz he used to be obsessed with those lol. Btw i got a dvd called Freddy Got Fingered lol. That movie is hilarious cuz Tom Green is in it haha.

Well its time for me to eat dinner! Damn I'm freakin hungry. I have a few more things to say before i go...

I get my drivers license in 4 days!!

Watch out for camels when you're driving around in the dark!

Leave me a lot of comments, thx guys! Cya later!!

]]> 2005-09-06 20:05:19 2005-09-07 00:05:19 open Publish post 342704024 1 2005-09-06 20:09:00 2005-09-07 00:09:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 670027136 1 2005-09-06 20:36:00 2005-09-07 00:36:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 670105393 <3

random comment

hows school?

]]> 1 2005-09-06 21:03:00 2005-09-07 01:03:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 670184335 you know when you get your liscense you're so driving me home sometimes. mhmm. because you love me that much. yes, admit that you do! haha. mmk. that's all i got. <3]]> 1 2005-09-06 21:45:00 2005-09-07 01:45:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 670318186 umm....HELL NO HE AINT DRIVIN U HOME!!!! My fucking boyfriend thank u very much!!! He will be driving ME home.....

im sorry to break it to u baby, but that movie SUX BALLZ!!

but i still fucking love you so much more than u will ever know!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

tell humphry i said wuts up!! lol

]]> 1 2005-09-07 20:20:00 2005-09-08 00:20:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 671902716 H2holbro22 Wed, 31 Aug 2005 22:25:14 -04:00 Hey everyone! First of all, I'm trying to figure out why i have all of these options at the top of this page... i can like change the colors and highlight my writing and stuff lol. Anyways, school has finally started and it's actually going pretty good. Most of my classes are pretty great. The only class that I don't like is algebra 2. It's pretty boring and were doing a lot of graphing calculator stuff. And my spanish name is based off of a very tasty food... NACHO! Yeah lol, lets see here.. I have a government project due on Friday too, and it's gay foreign policies. I dont really know what that is either. Wow this is gonna be a long year lol. Especially with my drawing class... I'm either gonna slack off the whole semester and complain about how my drawings are worse than everyone else's OR ill start to be really good at drawing and impress people with my pictures. It should all be fun tho!

Ok enough school lol! I've been listening to The Used a little and I also got the new Fall Out Boy cd a few days ago. I listen to the old Fall Out Boy cd as much as the new one... in fact, I think the old one is better than the new one! Cuz it has Grand Theft Autumn and Dead On Arrival and a whole bunch of other kickass songs. You should get the cd if you don't already have it.

I had my last in-car today and the damn instructor was 30 minutes late! She picked me up from school and she blamed me for being on the student pick-up side of the school. What a fuckin retard... she wanted to pick me up on the bus side of the school. Oh well, I'm tired so I'll stop here. Leave me some comments, cya!

]]> 2005-08-31 22:25:14 2005-09-01 02:25:14 open Publish post 338808565 i talked to you today while you were waiting for your in-car. but yeah, it was cool finally getting to talk to you for once since i only see you a couple times during the day. mhmm. i liked your shirt. just thought i would let you know. haha. i'm really random. it's like 12:30am. i should be sleeping, but i can't because i fell asleep when i came home from school. plus, i've still got some spanish homework to finish up.

haha your spanish name is nacho?! some kid in our class chose that & our teacher was like, if he picks that name, you have to promise not to laugh every time i say it. lol. it's dumb but yeah. my spanish name is catalina. how, hot? lol. but yeah.

i love you cristoffer! yes, that's how i want to spell your name so DEAL!

mmk. byee! <3

]]> 1 2005-09-01 00:33:00 2005-09-01 04:33:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 659836765 1 2005-09-01 14:46:00 2005-09-01 18:46:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 660412506 ]]> 1 2005-09-03 13:06:00 2005-09-03 17:06:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 663746757 1 2005-09-04 17:18:00 2005-09-04 21:18:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 665878093 I know I few people at Central. Who do you know at North?]]> 1 2005-09-05 11:23:00 2005-09-05 15:23:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 667148961 I know all of them... except the Amanda girl. From central I know Sara Frye, Jenny Yan, I knew Luke, and some others that went to my Middle School and stuff.]]> 1 2005-09-05 12:10:00 2005-09-05 16:10:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 667241044 1 2005-09-05 12:42:00 2005-09-05 16:42:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 667306392 1 2005-09-05 17:47:00 2005-09-05 21:47:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 667892819 uhh.. lauren stopped taking spanish. heh.

Donde esta mi pantalones?

Dos gatos in sus zapatos.

]]> 1 2005-09-06 19:18:00 2005-09-06 23:18:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 669885645 H2holbro22 Tue, 23 Aug 2005 23:11:33 -04:00 Hey everyone. Here's just a quick update to tell all of you my schedule becuz I'm getting tired of typing it out to everyone lol. So check it out and comment me if you have a class with me or something. Alright!SEMESTER 1

1- Spanish 3

2-US Government 2

3- Contemporary Lit.

4- Lunch

5-Algebra 2

6- Drawing 1

7- Ecology

8- Study Hall

SEMESTER 2

1- Spanish 3

2- Contemporary Lit.

3-Contemporary Lit. (again?)

4- Lunch

5- Algebra 2

6- Health

7- Ecology

8- US Government 1

Yeah my schedule is pretty screwed up. But anyways, comment me if you have a class with me... or better yet, lunch! Becuz most of my friends are in a different lunch period than me and it SUCKS! Cya later!

]]> 2005-08-23 22:39:06 2005-08-24 02:39:06 open Publish post 333393266 1 2005-08-23 23:05:00 2005-08-24 03:05:00 CrazzyRaz2007 [email protected] http://crazzyraz2007.xanga.com/ 0 18657764 0 644916663 nope.. lauren has 5th period lunch..

and easy classes.

]]> 1 2005-08-23 23:15:00 2005-08-24 03:15:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 644940129 ah! ill be at north for the first semester. and the second semester we have ONE thing together -FIRST PERIOD!-

and the class we do got together, we cant speak ENGLISH!! lmao.

]]> 1 2005-08-24 02:06:00 2005-08-24 06:06:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 645171399 Hey... random props, random comment. I was going thru the central blogring and came across your page. ((I'll be a freshman next year)).

Ha, love your taste in music, btw.

<333 Sydney

]]> 1 2005-08-24 13:19:00 2005-08-24 17:19:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 645614832 Even though things have been said and done w/e.Here for anyone out there who thinks I like chris just so you all know I dont.I DID think of him as my best friend and that was all.you can have feelings and love someone as nothing but a 100% awesome friend without it meaning anything but that...a friendship.Now that its no longer there those of you that wanted it like that can be happy.As for you chris thanks for standing by me in the times when you did.You were a great friend!]]> 1 2005-08-29 13:34:00 2005-08-29 17:34:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 654705009 1 2005-08-29 16:42:00 2005-08-29 20:42:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 654964300 H2holbro22 Tue, 16 Aug 2005 00:36:41 -04:00 Hola everyone. It's update time! Well I'll give a summary of my past few days. Sarah came back from New York on Sunday so we went to the fair for a while. It felt so good to see her again! We didn't go on any rides becuz they were kinda lame lol, but we walked around inside this building that had like everything in it. It was pretty neat becuz they had lots of random "products" on display. This one lady even offered to make rub Sarah's feet lol . And I got myself a pimped out plastic sheriff badge! Oh yeah!! Yeah the fair was fun tho. Then today was pretty boring during the day, but later on during the night, I went to Sarah's house for like 2 hours then we went to BW3's for a while. There were like 10 people there that I didn't know, but I still had fun. One kid even ate 12 hot wings in less than 5 minutes and he won a T-shirt lol. I ordered 8 boneless wings and I ate 1 really hot wing.. my lips still burn after 2 hours lol. And best of all, NBC 4 was there and supposedly were gonna be on TV later. I think they were there becuz of the smoking bans in restaurants. I was only TV one time before that lol... I did a commercial for the Bowling Palace when I was in 3rd grade and they gave me a damn mini chocolate bowling pin for all of that! I hope their business goes into bankruptcy! After BW3's we went to Kroger so all of the Kroger people could check their schedules and mess around in the finger condom/KY jelly/laxitive isle lol. Yeahh..

Anyways, I guess school is right around the corner and I gotta get school supplies! I even convinced my mom that I'm gonna need an iPod b4 school starts lol, so I might get one tomorrow with this $160 voucher I have. I will have to find a way to cram all of my songs onto that thing lol. Ok well I'm to sleep or something right now cuz I'm really bored. Leave some comments! Cya later!

]]> 2005-08-16 00:36:41 2005-08-16 04:36:41 open Publish post 327918781 oh wow its chris!

golly gee its getting late...

wow im so bored.. umm. hi!

]]> 1 2005-08-16 04:04:00 2005-08-16 08:04:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 629800976 1 2005-08-16 16:22:00 2005-08-16 20:22:00 n1ckd33s [email protected] http://n1ckd33s.xanga.com/ 0 11164525 0 630590370 1 2005-08-17 15:46:00 2005-08-17 19:46:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 632558383 1 2005-08-18 17:43:00 2005-08-18 21:43:00 TraiIsMyName [email protected] http://traiismyname.xanga.com/ 0 15300814 0 634768991 1 2005-08-19 22:35:00 2005-08-20 02:35:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 637191636 1 2005-08-23 02:53:00 2005-08-23 06:53:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 643253581 H2holbro22 Thu, 11 Aug 2005 15:52:31 -04:00 Hey everyone! So it's been about 6 days since I last updated.. i think. Right now I'm just eating bagel bites, listening to music, and writing in this lol. This week is going so damn slow. Sarah has been in New York for a week already... and she gets back on Sunday. It sucks to wait for so long...I CANT WAIT ANY LONGER! I wanna see her so badly... but were gonna go to the fair on Sunday, which is the last day. It will be awesome, but I hope it doesn't rain or something. I could've swore the fair was open until around the 20th.

Alright so basically I gotta get my temps renewed and then I can get my driver's license next month! After I take my tests of course. And I'm filling out an application for Pet Supplies Plus, yeahhh! I think it would be fun to work there.. i don't know why, but I really need a job. In fact, I went bowling yesterday and I didn't have enough cash so I had to count out a bunch of quarters to pay lol. It was pretty funny. Oh yeah, and I'm back in my workout routine so I'm not as bored anymore!

Ok.. STORY TIME!! Once upon a time, there were 3 kids... their names were Chris, Joe, and David. They got bored one day and decided to ride their bikes to Academy Park. They rode around on the dirt ramps for a while and then David had to go becuz he had work. Chris and Joe found a path shortly after that and followed it. While they were on the path, they spotted some hillybilly people swimming in the river . Their dog was with them and once the dog saw Chris and Joe, it got out of the water and jumped all over Chris with its muddy paws. Luckily, Chris and Joe escaped and continued on the path. Eventually, they ended up in a neighborhood and kept on going farther and farther until they reached Stygler Rd. They kept going until they saw a building that said "Huntington Banks". Then they realized that they were at the Huntington building in Easton! It took 2 hours for them to get that far so they decided to ride back home in amazement. On their ride home, they saw a girl who looked like Chubakah, so they really hurried home. They reached their own neighborhood in about 2 hours, but they were exhausted as hell so they went home. THE END!!

Ok well I made my xanga look a little kooler and I added about 5 songs to the stereo thing so CHECK THEM OUT!!! And I gotta go now so be sure to leave me some comments lol! Thx guys, cya later!

]]> 2005-08-11 15:52:31 2005-08-11 19:52:31 open Publish post 324806342 1 2005-08-12 11:56:00 2005-08-12 15:56:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 622476004 1 2005-08-12 11:58:00 2005-08-12 15:58:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 622479418 1 2005-08-13 19:31:00 2005-08-13 23:31:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 625068237 1 2005-08-13 21:06:00 2005-08-14 01:06:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 625210246 wow bout 3 of those entrys r from ur gf.. nice..lol hey man.. that story was off da chain lol well man im out.. call sumtime so we can fuckin hang out.. wanna play sum halo? yeah lets play sum halo.. WELL CMON .. OMG GGGGRRRR ARRGGG..lol my phone.. that was hillarious.. JASON HURRY THE FUCK UP WIT THAT SHIT..lmao good times bro.. aight after makin a huge fool of my self.. im gonna go.. later bro

David

]]> 1 2005-08-14 01:32:00 2005-08-14 05:32:00 WNHSgangsta22 [email protected] http://wnhsgangsta22.xanga.com/ 0 8985485 0 625709980 1 2005-08-15 03:08:00 2005-08-15 07:08:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 627652557 H2holbro22 Sat, 13 Aug 2005 15:14:47 -04:00 Hey guys! I'm updating this again, wow go me! Alright so basically the past two days have been pretty great. It all started yesterday night when I went to BW3's with David, Christina, and her friend Sarah. We just chilled there and had food... obviously lol. Then we rented Freddy Got Fingered and The Exorcist and went to Christina's house. Well, I liked Sarah ever since I first saw her and everything...she is really nice too! So then we all watched the movie lol. Freddy Got Fingered is one of the funniest movies ever omg, you guys gotta see it! Well we got half way thru the movie before we had to leave So then we all gave our goodbyes, then David drove me back to my house. After that, we all joined a chat room cuz Sarah was sleeping over at Christina's house and we all wanted to talk. At 3:00, David snuck out and we were planning on riding my sister's electric scooter around the block just for fun lol. But it wouldnt start so we went pegging around the block a few times.

Ok well anyways, we planned to go to the pool around noon the next day, so I had to wake up at 10:00... I don't know how I pulled it off lol. Well since I havent been swimming in forever, I forgot about how small my swimming trunks would be... wow, they went up about half a foot above my kneecap lol. So I gotta buy new swimming trunks lmao... and we didnt go to the pool so we all went over to Christina's house again, ordered pizza and I got to see Sarah! And this time, I knew Sarah liked me back so I felt so much more comfortable around her. Ok we watched the rest of Freddy Got Fingered, then some of The Exorcist (omg that movie sucked), we watched like 1/10 of The Notebook, then some of Mean Girls. Stupid chick flicks lol! But it wasnt that bad at all. After Christina's house, I went to Hometown Buffet with David's family and ate lots of food. Then me, David, Sarah, Christina, Brice, Hilary, and Kris went to BW3's after that. I couldn't eat anything there tho lol cuz i was already full. Here I'll just list the random events that happened here becuz it would take me forever to explain all of them lol.... Brice stuck celery up his nose, sneezed it out, and ate it! We were bothered by a drunk nurse in the parking lot! We drove around the plaza while Kris hung on the back of the van while riding on a skateboard! Those are the main weird things that happened lol. Then after that, David dropped Hilary off and then he was gonna drop me off after that. By that time, I liked Sarah so much that I asked her out before I went inside. And now we are going out... and I'm really really happy! She is going on a trip to New York 2morrow at 4:00 so were trying to go see a movie before she leaves... wow a whole week without seeing her will be hard to deal with lol. Ok well I'm gonna go cuz I wanna be able to wake up early 2morrow. Ill cya around ppl and please leave some comments guys!

]]> 2005-08-05 03:10:27 2005-08-05 07:10:27 open Publish post 320217501 im happy for you.

rawr.

]]> 1 2005-08-05 09:12:00 2005-08-05 13:12:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 608008544 <3]]> 1 2005-08-05 09:15:00 2005-08-05 13:15:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 608011249 1 2005-08-05 21:52:00 2005-08-06 01:52:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 609300599 1 2005-08-06 03:13:00 2005-08-06 07:13:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 609835131 well ttyl,~Trai "The MasterPiece" Brown~]]> 1 2005-08-06 03:51:00 2005-08-06 07:51:00 TraiIsMyName [email protected] http://traiismyname.xanga.com/ 0 15300814 0 609858648 1 2005-08-07 22:54:00 2005-08-08 02:54:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 612900203 1 2005-08-12 12:01:00 2005-08-12 16:01:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 622484831 H2holbro22 Mon, 01 Aug 2005 01:23:25 -04:00 Hey guys! I know it takes me forever to update this thing, but you gotta understand that sometimes its boring to update lol. Well not much has changed here... yesterday was fun as hell tho. First of all, David's family was out of town so me and Joe stayed overnight there. Without parents... you can do ANYTHING! So thats what we did. We got some TP and tried to get one of our friends, but are plans got spoiled thanks to the fuckin dogs lol. Ok but David was driving us down Sunbury Rd and he is barely going over the speed limit when he passes a cop car lol... then we look in the rearview mirror and we see the cops lights start flashing! Luckily the left and right lanes were separated by concrete things. So we turned into a street and parked and then everything was fine. Basically we just messed around outside all night. In the morning around 10, we went to Krogers and got some waffles and whipped cream... has anyone had blueberry waffles w/ whipped cream? It's pretty good.

Friday sucked ass lol cuz my dad was moving and I had to help him move everything into a U-Haul truck and then take it to the new apartment. It wasn't hard at all, but I did it from 10:00 to 3:00 without eating anything. AND it was so damn boring. It was kinda funny though cuz my dad told me to watch my step while I was putting the coach in the truck and he hit his head on the top of the truck like 5 seconds later lol. And today, I fell asleep during the day!! And right when I fell asleep... my dad came over and woke me up and said "I need you to help me move some more things" blahh blah blah.. thats the worst way to wake up lol.

Yeah I made another mix cd with lots of kool songs including this techno remix to Yeah which is SO AWESOME!!! It has so much bass that you gotta hold on to the handles on the car just to sit still. If I ever find out how to upload music, then I'll put it on my xanga but I dont know how. PLEASE tell me if you know how. Speaking of music, I've been listening to the old Fall Out Boy cd and it's really awesome so everyone should listen to it! I'm gonna get the new one soon.. yeah. Ok that should be enough for now! LeAvE sOmE cOmMeNtS plzzzz!!

]]> 2005-08-01 01:23:25 2005-08-01 05:23:25 open Publish post 317185331 You didn't do it you dork!! I'm sad now! oh well ill be over it in like a sec....well im getting ready to go to practice so ill have to talk to you later

rachael mae

]]> 1 2005-08-01 09:24:00 2005-08-01 13:24:00 bananas_r_yummy [email protected] http://bananas-r-yummy.xanga.com/ 0 14989642 0 599453618 1 2005-08-02 03:03:00 2005-08-02 07:03:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 601413433 HEY CHRiS! i HAVEN'T TALKED TO YOU iN FOREVER!!!!! WE NEED TO HANG OUT AGAiN! WELL COMMENT BACK iF YOU WANT!!!

<33 KATiE

]]> 1 2005-08-02 20:57:00 2005-08-03 00:57:00 kAtE0143 [email protected] http://kate0143.xanga.com/ 0 6045670 0 602853986 1 2005-08-04 21:33:00 2005-08-05 01:33:00 BestSisters22 [email protected] http://bestsisters22.xanga.com/ 0 15489530 0 607218648 1 2005-08-06 23:26:00 2005-08-07 03:26:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 611171248 H2holbro22 Fri, 22 Jul 2005 04:09:43 -04:00 YEAHHHH!! I fixed the damn comment thing so you can all send me comments again. I found out that the poll thing was causing the problem... I'll get it back eventually but not right now. Wow me and David just snuck out of the house and right when I walked out the door, we saw and heard the sirens of a cop car from behind 2 houses! It's bad enough that wre not allowed outside, but the cop car was speeding thru our neighborhood for some reason lol. Let's see... I'll talk a little about how things are goin now... well I started driving school 2 weeks ago and it's really boring. I have to go 2 days per week, 4 hours each day. Next week is my last week! Driver's ed isnt really that bad cuz I met some new peeps that I can talk to whenever. I went to Cedar Point again for 1 day too, this time it was for my dad's company picnic. Remember how Cedar Point was awesome for me last time? This time it was living hell lol. Hold on, lemme get my list of all the bad things... ok

1) I had 2 hours of sleep... thats my own fault i guess lol.

2) I had a headache that lasted from the night before thru the whole day.

3) It decided to rain nonstop the WHOLE time we were there.

4) The lines were packed to the edges so we didnt get to go on any rides at all.

5) The free food was disgusting.

6) We spent more time driving there and back than we spent in the park itself, so its basically a waste of time.

Lol thats mainly all. Wow I'm really lazy lol. That's why I wanna drive SOOO bad. And to kill some time and earn some money, I'm actually trying to get a job at Pet Supplies Plus!!!!!! Yes now doesnt that sound like a great place to work?? You get to move dog food and other things all day and its the only place hiring that is half decent lol. Well it's definitly 4 in the morning right now so I'm gonna get to bed. Me and Josh stayed up last night chilling so I'm really tired. Btw before I go, I have something for everyone who likes Trapt... theyre coming out with a new cd in September and they released 1 main song... its awesome and its called Stand Up. I tryed to find it EVERYWHERE, but the only place I can find it is http://www.trapt.com/ . You can listen to the song over and over if you stay on there. Yeah well with that, I'm out! I'm gonna take a new pic once I get my dad's camera too so that will be kool. Cya later everyone!!!

]]> 2005-07-22 04:09:43 2005-07-22 08:09:43 open Publish post 310298168 1 2005-07-23 20:25:00 2005-07-24 00:25:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 583261575 1 2005-07-24 00:13:00 2005-07-24 04:13:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 583635164 haha. ill c ya around. bye chris i heart u like a brother!!!!]]> 1 2005-07-24 00:45:00 2005-07-24 04:45:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 583692433 hi chris.

sounds like a drag.

woo!

]]> 1 2005-07-25 10:18:00 2005-07-25 14:18:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 585795457 dude if you want a new awesome song check out WALKING DEAD by DJ Z TRIP and CHESTER BENNINGTON

Its my favorite song right now

and yeah my internet did fuck up for awhile, that sucked a ton of balls

]]> 1 2005-07-26 14:56:00 2005-07-26 18:56:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 588376996 1 2005-07-28 19:05:00 2005-07-28 23:05:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 593053176 hey chirs whats up nuttin here well just thought id leave you one ttyl

love you like friend

rachael mae

]]> 1 2005-08-01 00:49:00 2005-08-01 04:49:00 bananas_r_yummy [email protected] http://bananas-r-yummy.xanga.com/ 0 14989642 0 599124121 H2holbro22 Tue, 19 Jul 2005 14:52:50 -04:00 2005-07-19 14:52:50 2005-07-19 18:52:50 open Publish post 308366547 hey man heres a comment]]> 1 2005-07-22 03:23:00 2005-07-22 07:23:00 WNHSgangsta22 [email protected] http://wnhsgangsta22.xanga.com/ 0 8985485 0 580548276 H2holbro22 Mon, 11 Jul 2005 15:10:06 -04:00 Hey people! It's 2:22 right now and just woke up lol. Yeah I have a reason for going to bed so late last night. Ok listen up... I have a story to tell everyone lol. But remember... all of this is not to be told to anyone cuz it might cycle back to the victim. Ok well last night I'm just sitting on the computer listening to music and talking on AIM. Then David IMs me and tells me to meet him outside because Brian just got TPed. So I set everything up in the house to look like I'm asleep, grab the Cheezits, and then I sneak out. I walked down to Brian's house to see Brian and Joe in Joe's car. They told us that they found out who TPed him because they saw them drive away and yell something that obviously gave themselves away. Even though you need to be 18 to drive outside at 2:00, we got in Joe's car and decided to help Brian get revenge. We drove towards Kroger (I can't forget to mention the Rumpke truck that almost backed up into us. So we drove by him... Joe waved to him while I flicked him off lol). Once we were at Kroger, David and Brian ran inside and bought 48 rolls of TP. Ha you dont wanna know the excuse we had for buying all of that TP. Anyways, Joe drove to one of the kids houses (a kid that helped TP Brian) and we started throwing TP all over the trees and bushes. Me and David TPed the backyard while Joe and Brian TPed the front yard. Eventually, they came into the backyard and Brian was like, "Dude this isn't the right house... there isn't a basketball hoop in the front!" So were like damn...so we grabbed as much TP as possible from house and moved to the RIGHT house. That's where we seriously trashed the house up lol. We had a lot of spare TP so I even put some in their weeds. When we were done, it was like 3:15 and we weren't satisfied... so we got back in the car and drove to Meijer, and bought 48 more rolls of TP! By the way, the same kid who we TPed, called Brian's cell and asked him who the hell TPed his house. The kid got home right after we TPed him luckily lol... but Brian denied it anyways. Then we went to another kid's house and got ready to TP him. But thats when we noticed that the gas tank was empty...so we drove away and barely made it to a gas station. Since no1 else was on the road at that time, Joe turns the wrong way and starts driving on the complete wrong side of the road... it was hilarious. But then we go back to the kids house with a 1/4 tank of gas. This kid's house had so many trees so it was perfect to TP. So we TPed his house pretty bad and left. It was about 4 by this time so we decided to go back home before it got any later. Joe dropped everyone off at their houses, but I went to Joe's house for a sec so I could help him get out of trouble if his parent's were awake. Yeah and we also woke Ryan up so we could say Hi to him. After that, I left and ran home to my house and snuck back inside... my damn cat was meowing up a storm while I was opening the door tho. Basically, we got revenge x2 on them lol. But we also made some more targets that we are going after soon lol... so WATCH OUT!! nah j/k we usually only get people who go after us first. Well guys, I gotta go to an orthodontist appointment... I think I get to stop wearing my retainer! lol hopefully, but then after that I am starting my driving courses. So leave me some comments or something guys! Cya around!]]> 2005-07-11 15:10:06 2005-07-11 19:10:06 open Publish post 302630331 1 2005-07-11 20:09:00 2005-07-12 00:09:00 X_Her_LipXgloss_Poison_X [email protected] http://x-her-lipxgloss-poison-x.xanga.com/ 0 17113205 0 560685777 H2holbro22 Sun, 10 Jul 2005 00:19:53 -04:00 Hola! I know I never write in my xanga... sorry about that. And btw, there's no way in hell that I'm gonna write an entry as long as that last one ever again lol. Unless I go somewhere else and have a lot to say... but anyways, how is everyone doing? I haven't been doing much lately. I wish I could drive but I gotta wait until October to get my license. Fortunatly, I am starting my driving courses on Monday, so I can get that out of the way. I want to get a Tiburon too... its about $25k though so I may as well give it up lol. I also want to get a job and I cant get one because I can't drive there Oh well I guess I have a few more months to be lazy and do whatever else I want lol. I might even get to go to Cedar Point again on Friday because of my dad's company picnic.Usually they go to Wyandot Lake or King's Island, but Cedar Point is much better.

I really don't feel like writing, but I'll end this off with a fact... if you think you aren't afraid of anything, then try driving in the car with Joe! He made some awesome illegal turns and used a turning lane to pass up a car! Me and Joe can both be wreckless once I get my driver's license lol... I seem to forget about the speed limit from time to time. It's funny tho. Ok well I'm gonna go drink some more limeade lol. That stuff is really good and its better than lemonade. Cya later guys and girls!

BTW... THE GUYS CANT BE THE BEST PART ABOUT SUMMER!!! I cant believe the poll is getting taken over like that. Oh well, keep on voting and we will see what happens...

]]> 2005-07-10 00:20:26 2005-07-10 04:20:26 open Publish post 301539685 1 2005-07-10 00:29:00 2005-07-10 04:29:00 X_Her_LipXgloss_Poison_X [email protected] http://x-her-lipxgloss-poison-x.xanga.com/ 0 17113205 0 557453187 1 2005-07-10 18:03:00 2005-07-10 22:03:00 X_Her_LipXgloss_Poison_X [email protected] http://x-her-lipxgloss-poison-x.xanga.com/ 0 17113205 0 558446010

1 note · View note

domesticangel · 5 years

Text

i honestly feel like i should keep some kind of dream journal bc ive had so many weird ones the past couple nights so I'm gonna talk about them but I'm gonna put them under a cut bc it'll probably get kinda long daflhsjfdsadf

the first one was the most unnerving so tw for like...medical stuff and skin deformalities/necrosis/really bad bruising or something??? idk how to describe it, it wasn't terribly graphic (i very rarely have vivid nightmares or bad dreams) but like i say it was definitely unnerving so? ten cuidado

soooo the first one was really short and simple but kinda scary. so in the dream i was just sitting on the couch at my moms house in my pjs and for some reason started idly touching my boob. then i felt a lump like, underneath my right boob; it was super small and hard like a bb pellet in my skin is the best way i can describe it. so ofc i panicked and ran to the downstairs bathroom (my moms bathroom) and looked in the mirror and pulled my shirt up, and the lump was directly under my boob as opposed to inside it (like i had to pull my boob up to even see it) and surrounded by a like....baseball sized patch of dark brown/black discolored skin. like the lump itself just looked like a very large, very pale mole and the skin around it was dark and almost dry or scaly. so ofc I'm freaking out and i realize theres some more discoloration closer to my side, and i turn my body, and like all down my entire right side and onto my back is this almost bruise like, black brown purple discoloration. none of it had hurt beforehand, but its like as soon as i saw it, all the discolored parts of my skin began pulsing with this like really painful tenderness. so like right as I'm about to scream and yell for my mom, i bolt awake. and you can bet ur ass i immediately sat up in bed and pawed all over my boobies for any lumps and luckily didn't find any lol

the next one was overall really vague with some very small parts that i remember in a lot of detail. for the most part, i was on kind of a medium sized ship with a bunch of other girls. in the dream i knew them at least as acquaintances but i can't remember who any of them were now, though i most likely know them irl. i think some of them were my gdes classmates, but i don't think thats who they actually were in the dream if that makes sense; i think my brain was just using their faces you know what i mean? so anyway we’re out on this boat and its really hot and humid and the sky is DARK gray like a bad storm is coming, almost green-gray like before a twister. i remember in the dream we were supposed to be on the open ocean but it looked a lot like my grandparent’s land out in the sticks as if it had just been majorly flooded. so anyway the waves are really high, and most of them are breaking ONTO the ship, like flooding the deck. and we’re all kind of screaming, but almost in a like, we’re having fun way? like the way you scream when you’re just playing in the ocean and a big wave is about to break on you but its like fun and exciting. and i just remember thinking to myself, i feel like i should be panicking, but I'm not...and thinking stuff like, well isn't it kind of funny to be swimming ON a boat thats in the middle of the open water? like being on a flooded ship before a storm was this fun, novel thing instead of like, cause for actual panic. it was really weird. i remember feeling really close to all the girls and glad i was with them even though i don't know who they were.

the one i had last night was really fun. so in the dream me, my brother, and my brothers gf were hanging out at my gram and pa’s house (same ones who's land was flooded in the previous dream tho thats not relevant to this one) and they're my grandparents on my dads side so like my entire dads side of the family was there. and we’re all just kind of hanging out when all of a sudden this like.....team of people busts in the door not unlike a police raid? except the team was made up of like, people in black suits and sunglasses and like.....thespians dressed in various stage costumes. like, the urgency of a police raid, but conducted by and made up of....the men in black and theater performers? idk man. and we are like, not as shocked by this as we should be, but still a little caught off guard. and one of them stands up on the coffee table in the middle of us and announces that they're going to make us play a game wherein we will be assigned roles and we have to play the part, and if we play it poorly they'll like....do something bad to us. they either never specified what the bad thing was or i just don't remember; as far as i can remember whenever someone failed to play their role well they were like whisked away out of sight by one of the thespians and we didn't know what happened to them. like my cousin was over it before it even started and was like I'm not doing this dumb shit so they just hauled him off to a different room and he was gone for the rest of the dream idk. so anyway, we’re being assigned our roles, and I'm told i have to play a waitress. and I'm like damn ok thats easy, ive worked with a lot of waitresses so i know how they act. so basically I'm getting really into it; i go into my gram’s kitchen and find like a tea set so i can serve everyone tea, and i even find one of those circular pizza pans to act as like those big round trays servers carry food and drinks out on. like I'm getting PROPS I'm SO serious about this. so basically the living room is in chaos; everyone is playing a different role while being “coached” and shouted at by the people in suits and costumes, like i remember my pa got assigned the role of a fur trapper so he was wearing a coonskin cap and trying to sell furs to one of the men in suits, and my dad had to be like an australian fishing expert and my brother had to be a dog breeder and I'm kinda just flitting around the room politely interrupting to ask if they'd like some tea or needed a refill, and they'd be like oh yes thank you then go back to shouting, and like none of them ever noticed or interacted with me bc i just fell into my role so naturally and just skirted the edges of the room serving people tea and stuff. i remember i was having a lot of fun. it was so weird

#txt #my dreams usually get really weird and vivid when I'm experiencing a big change or anxiety or both #so like #these are right in line with school starting back up lol

4 notes · View notes

cannedapricot · 6 years

Text

Christmas Shopping with! Yoon Jisung

another installment of the chirstmas collab with @alliwannado-w1 and @jihoonslattee ft. toy store worker! yoon jisung!!

jisung works at a toy store in a mall on the second floor

and he loves it

he loves seeing children’s faces glowing in happiness after entering the store

he loves helping children find the perfect toy

jiSUNG’S JUST FULL OF LOVE FOR WHAT HE DOES

when children start throwing tantrums, jisung’s the first person to rush over

the child stops crying after 5 seconds because thE FACES JISUNG MAKES TO CHEER THEM UP ARE LEDGENDARY

co-worker! sungwoon swears that jisung would marry his job if he could

everyone who’s ever visited this specific mall knows of yoon jisung

i mean, he’s the resident sunshine who glows so brightly whenever he smiles that everyone in the mall stops to wear sunglasses

he’s also the reason why every kid ever wants to go to that one toy shop lol

the boss wanted to make jisung the mascot at one point but jisung was like,

“oh no!! i’m probably going to scare people away from the shop haha!”

and that’s how sungwoon was forced into being the mascot because he was “smol and fluffy”

jisung never lets sungwoon live because of it

“oh look!!! sungwoon’s on our poster again!!11!111″

“...TEAR IT DOWN”

chirstmas is jisung’s favorite holiday

part of it was because of the snow and quality family time

but mostly it was because mORE SMILEY KIDS WOULD WALK INTO THE SHOP

CHEEKS RED WITH COLD

AND EYES GLEAMING WITH EXCITEMENT

the shop has this thing where the staff can wrap your presents for you

and everyone h a t e s being put on gift wrapping duty

because its??? so??? boring???

they’d much rather do something else

aka find a corner where the boss can’t see you and go on your phone smh

so when the boss calls a meeting and announces that the gift wrapping duty is back!!!

all he gets are groans in response

except from jisung though

he puts his arm straight up and with sparkling eyes, he says

“I VOLUNTEER”

“uh ok i guess jisung’s on gift duty for the fourth year in a row”

but daniel and jaehwan are also selected for different shifts

jisung nearly has a heart attack when he hears that jaehwan’s also on gift duty

beCAUSE THAT BOY CAN’T WRAP GIFTS FOR SHIT

so jisung spends his lunch break teaching jaehwan how to wrap a gift properly and prettily :’)

jaehwan tries to learn because he doesn’t want to deal with screaming kids if he wraps their gift shittily

it doesn’t turn out as perfect as jisung’s but it’ll have to do :’’’)

jisung’s also the only person who happily wears the santa hat uniform addition

jiSUNG’S WILL HAPPILY DO ANYTHING FOR THIS SHOP

HE LOVES THE SHOP WITH HIS WHOLE HEART SIDVBIS

even if the pay isn’t as high as other jobs, jisung’s content :’)

he’s such an angel i love him

you worked at a local kindergarten!

you’ve only been working for a couple of months but the kids there absolutely adore you!!

you’d step in the classroom and everyone would rush over to hug you

the kindergarten once had a popularity vote among the teachers and you ranked first even though you were new :””)

everyone wanted to be in your class

and the other teachers are lowkey offended

it was a tradition every year to bring the kids on a trip to the mall for them to write small wish lists to send to santa :’’’’’)

the kids were thrilled obviously

“sCHOOL TRIP TIME WHEEEEEEEE”

it took a while for them to calm down

but they eventually did

you’ve never been to the mall in this area,,, so you’re kinda scared that you’re gonna get lost or lose one of the kids etc

you tried getting out of it

“hey uh cough cough minhyun? cough”

“yeah?”

“sneeze i think i’m down with a cold”

“oh no!!!111!!1!1 would you like to take a few days off???”

“yes-”

“is what you think i’d say right? too bad we’re already low on staff as it is we don’t need another ‘sick’ one”

THERE GOES THAT PLAN OUT THE WINDOW

you knew that there was no point in arguing anymore :’)

on the day you were a nervous wreck

you had planned to go around the mall yesterday but that didn’t happen

thanks to your close friend suddenly dropping by

yoU WERE SWEATING AND YOUR EYES WERE DARTING EVERYWHERE

EVEN THE KIDS THOUGHT SOMETHING WAS OFF

“miss y/n? are you okay?”

“o-OH YEAH I’M FINE TOMMY”

WIPES SWEAT

after herding the kids into the bus, you tried to make a run for it

but minhyun catches you with his signature “where do you think you’re going” smile on his face

then proceeds to fling you onto the bus

upon reaching the mall, the kids immediately screamed to go visit the toy store

having no choice but to do so, you bring your little group of kids towards the toy shop on the second floor

while looking at the map you have on your phone lmao

you let out a sigh in relief when you reach the store without anything happening

you tell the kids not to wander off by their own and stick close together

entering the shop, you catch a certain worker’s eye 👀👀

i mean you would catch my eye as well

it’s not everyday someone walks into a shop with 10 kids around them

but of course the shop expected your kindergarten to visit this time of year

and that particular worker slides up to your party while in the lego section

“hi! i’m jisung! is there anything you’re looking for?”

you were about to respond but the kids responded before you could

“wHERE ARE THE BARBIES???”

“BRING ME A STUFFED BEAR PLEASE”

p a ni c s

“i’m so sorry- n O EMILY STOP CLINGING ON THE WORKER’S LEG”

jisung lets out a hearty laugh,

“don’t worry! i’m used to it”

anD BOY WAS HIS LAUGH ATTRACTIVE

is it getting hot in here or is it just jisung? 👀👀

jisung squats down to the little girl’s height and talks to her in the s o f t e s t tone

and you think that’s he’s possibly the cutest man you’ve ever m e t

“miss y/n!!!! stop staring at him!!”

buoVOUVODUV???????

jisung’s draws his attention from the little girl to look at you

yOU GLOW BRIGHT RED

“I WASN’T- UH- I WAS LOOKING AT THAT STUFFED RABBIT BEHIND YOU YEAH”

AND JISUNG CHUCKLES AT YOUR OBVIOUSLY FLUSTERED FACE

deciding not to make you glow any more red, he says,

“hey, i’ll help you deal with the kids today yeah?”

“OHMYGOSH THANK YOU SO MUCH”

BECAUSE

FINALLY

SOMEONE WHO KNOWS THE MALL WELL

“i’ll go tell my boss!”

he doesn’t

he tells sungwoon to cover for him

“heY YOU TOLD ME TO POSTPONE MY DATE TO WORK HOW COME YOU GET TO-”

covERS SUNGWOON’S MOUTH

“it’s not a da t e”

sungwoon rolls his eyes

“sure ok”

and so jisung joins your party!!

y’all look like a cute family with 10 kids :’)

throughout the day, jisung’s interaction with the kids and his funny personality made you feel like melting

was it possible for a man to be this adorable??

you didn’t know but,,

jisung was also melting for you too :’)))

so when minhyun calls you and says that it’s time to leave

jisung doesn’t want to let you go

neither did you tbh

so as you herd the kids into the bus once again, jisung pulls you back for a moment

“hey,,,, uh,,,, have you done your christmas shopping yet?”

“not yet!! i’m planning to do so this sunday”

“oh!! great!! um,,, i was wondering if you wanted to do it together? sunday’s my day off too,,,”

hE WAS AVOIDING EYE CONTACT AS HE ASKED YOU AND YOU WERE SQUEALING INSIDE

“yES! I MEAN-- sure!”

and then jisung looks at you with the whole galaxy in his eyes

his cheeks were flushed but you had no idea whether it was because of the weather or because he was flustered

“REALLY???”

you reply with a smile and a nod of your head

he then digs through his pockets for a pen

and asks you to write your number on his hand

the pen was in the shape of a giraffe

minhyun screams for you as soon as you finished writing the last digit

“i’ll text you!!”

jisung yells as you run towards the bus, waving at him with a huge smile

he does

and you two don’t stop texting until sunday

“y/n! over here!!”

you rush over to the waiting jisung

“i’m sorry did you have to wait for a long time?”

he smiles and claims that he just got here

and you two head into the mall

as soon as you two step in, you guys were surrounded by couples who were also christmas shopping

and it felt awkward for the first time since you’ve known jisung

clEARS THROAT

“so,,, y/n, where do you want to go first?”

you randomly point at a stationary store

and you two exit a few minutes later

with a bunch of bags in hand

“i knEW WE SHOULDN’T HAVE GONE INTO THAT STORE”

hOLD IN YOUR TEARS Y/N, YOUR WALLET WILL BE O K

jisung laughs

“THIS ISN’T SOMETHING TO LAUGH OVER”

“sorRY”

HUFFS

and you two continue your raid of the mall

exiting a new shop with more bags each time :”)

at one point y’all entered a furniture shop and accidentally walked into the beds section

the worker there mistakes you for a couple and smirks at you two 👀👀

yOU TWO SUDDENLY REALIZE WHAT THE SMIRK MEANT

AND HURRIED OUT OF THE STORE

y’all also entered the toy store jisung works at

and jisung’s co-workers are all staring at you two

especially sungwoon and jaehwan who followed you two around the shop talking loudly about how jisung was boyfriend material

“DID YOU KNOW JISUNG IS GREAT AT COOKING RAMEN???”

“OH REALLY???”

“YEAH WHOEVER MARRIES HIM WOULD BE LUCKY”

JISUNG WAS SWEATIN G

WHY ARE HIS FRIENDS SO EMBARRASSING

“y/N LETS LEAVE THE SHOP”

“what- i haven’t finished-”

PUSHES YOU OUT

but doesn’t forget to buy you a gift from the shop

after wandering around the mall more, you two end up in front of the giant christmas tree

the lights casted shadows around

and you turn to face jisung, finding him looking up at the tree with those stars in his eyes

then he turns to face you with that huge smile of his

and bOY HIS FACE ILLUMINATED BY THE LIGHT WHILE HE SMILES HNNNNG

then he suddenly pulls out a rabbit soft toy

“merry christmas y/n! here’s your present!!”

this was the same rabbit you had claimed to be staring at while you were actually staring at jisung

“you were staring at this the other day right?”

yOU BURST INTO LAUGHTER

jisung thought you were laughing at his gift :(

“IM NOT LAUGHING AT THE GIFT, I’M JUST LAUGHING BECAUSE,,”

“because??”

“I WASN’T ACTUALLY STARING AT THE RABBIT, I WAS STARING AT YOU,,,,, THANK YOU ANYWAYS THOUGH”

and yOU SNATCH THE RABBIT FROM HIS HANDS

TO HIDE YOUR REDDENING FACE

jisung’s face lights up at this

“y/n?”

“yes?”

“what do you think about today being our first day?”

“??first day??”

“yeah, as a couple”

STATIONARY SHOPS MAKE ME GO BROKE OSFDGBOSB

also this was lowkey kinda shit,,,,, jisung’s actually a ray of sunshine in human form and i love him so much anyone who says he’s ugly can come fight me

#im serious about yoon jisung being the light of life #i love him so much #wanna one #yoon jisung #produce 101 #christmas shopping with! yoon jisung #broduce 101 #wanna one scenarios #kpop #kpop scenarios #mmo #mmo yoon jisung #yoon jisung scenarios #wanna one imagines #wanna one aus #yoon jisung imagines #yoon jisung au

119 notes · View notes

flowerconcept-blog · 7 years

Text

gang!hakyeon

perhaps the scariest gang leader in seoul…...not because he’s particularly physically intimidating (that’s taekwoon and wonshik’s job) …. but because he knows EVERYTHING about EVERYONE and knows exactly how to use it to his advantage

not that he couldn’t completely obliterate someone physically….. he practices martial arts and his years of dancing as a teenager have made him very, very, very strong under his lean exterior

once a new member of the gang challenged him (before he realized it was cha hakyeon he was challenging) and hakyeon had him pinned to the floor within 30 seconds and no one has questioned his physical prowess since

has such a commanding presence that even though he isn’t as tall as some of the other gang higher ups you immediately know he’s the #1

despite being so infamous he’s very good at flying under the radar…….he’s never the one getting his hands dirty after all, that’s not what the leader does. instead he makes everyone else do the dirty work and sits back in his expensive apartment sipping wine

always wearing luxury suits…..has a silk robe and pyjama set that he wears to sleep…. even taekwoon who lives with him has never seen him looking anything less than flawless

has this pair of gucci sunglasses that he wears whenever he’s at the gang hq

seeing him walking around town you totally would assume he was a ceo or something, but no….he’s the most notorious criminal in the city………

has probably like. walked into the police office and filed a missing person’s report for someone he had killed…..and the police were like “wow what a kind charismatic handsome young man!!!”

basically he’s really really REALLY good at his job. and he’s proud of it…. like as a child hakyeon never thought he would end up being a gang leader but he doesn’t hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it

and the absurd amount of money is a bonus

anyways you don’t know any of this, but you do know cha hakyeon, because he pays you lol…… you’re work part time at a maid/cleaner service to cover your student bills and you clean hakyeon’s apartment

not that you’ve ever seen him….you have his number and he gives very specific instructions for when to come so you aren’t there when anyone is home. which sometimes is at weird times at night but as long as you’re getting paid you aren’t asking questions

and like…...you clean a lot of nice apartments but cha hakyeon’s is the nicest by FAR…..with a beautiful view of seoul and huge tvs in almost every room

plus it’s the least amount of work, because the two men living there are surprisingly neat

but despite all that ,,,,,, the place feels cold ,,,,,,, like there are almost no family photos up on the walls, especially in the master bedroom…… there are expensive paintings up on the walls and high tech kitchen equipment but there are no trinkets or anything to suggest …. well, that someone lives there

and honestly it kinda freaks you out! because the minimalism of the apartment is like…. a lil too much to deal with and you can just feel that something is up with your employer

there’s a room that you aren’t supposed to go into and it’s always locked and you wouldn’t be all that surprised if it was like. a room of dead bodies or something

little do you know you aren’t that…..far off………… but you go on with your normal calm life cleaning cha hakyeon’s apartment, never expecting that one day you would literally see ur life flash before your eyes

hakyeon had let you know that the house would be empty in the early afternoon so you show up with your cleaning gear and as you’re cleaning the kitchen you hear the front door open

this is unusual but you figure hakyeon or his roommate got home earlier than they anticipated so you just continue your work until you hear this weird noise turn around and there is this MASSIVE masked guy with a GUN in the living room (which is connected to the kitchen)

of course you freeze ……..because what the fuck..but when he spots you you know ur fucked and u try to get the hell out of there but the front door is too far……. and when you hear a gunshot you’re about 99% sure you are dead

but then u realize you felt…..nothing….. so you open your eyes and this handsome guy in an expensive suit is standing in the doorway of the locked room holding a gun

and the masked guy is DEAD

naturally you SCREAM “what the FUCK” and the handsome guy looks @ you with this steely eyed look and ur like o h h my god i’m dying today this is it

but then the cold look fades away and he coughs awkwardly as if he didn’t just MURDER someone but then he’s like “i’m hakyeon, nice to officially meet you…..i’m sorry about this mess”

you have no idea what the hell to do and are still pretty shellshocked and he can…. sort of tell ……. so casually he takes the throw off the couch and tosses it over the DEAD BODY and then approaches you carefully, taking you by the shoulders and maneuvering you to sit down

“would you like anything? water? i’m sure this is pretty alarming”

suddenly your systems all reboot and ur like “UM I WANT TO KNOW WHO THAT GUY IS AND WHY HE HAD A GUN and also who are you and why do YOU have a gun oh and yeah what the HELL is going on”

another awkward cough………….but hakyeon isn’t the type to hurt innocent civilians and his (cute) cleaner was never supposed to get roped into this…. so he figures……….. he’ll tell you as much of the truth as he’s able to and hopefully you won’t turn him into the police

he slowly explains that the man was a hitman who an “enemy” of his had hired to take him out, but he hadn’t expected him to come to the apartment otherwise he wouldn’t have let you come over…..

and he conveniently doesn’t really tell you what he does but you can sorta piece it together and ur kinda sitting there because……..

Holy Fuck

but at the same time, you trust hakyeon? something deep down in u makes u feel like he wouldn’t hurt anyone he didn’t have to. you can tell he’s dangerous but the fact that he told you the partial truth instead of murdering you sort of . intrigues you?

finally u just go “i don’t…...have to clean that[gestures at the body] though right?”

and hakyeon laughs for the first time since you’ve met and it’s a really nice laugh and he really is super handsome with a super nice voice and suddenly you feel yourself blushing

you hope he doesn’t notice ,,,,,, but hakyeon notices everything ,,,,,

as he escorts you out with a promise of doubling your recent paycheck, he smiles down at you and asks if you’d like to go out for dinner with him that weekend

ur like uhhh…...yes?!?!?!?!

that dinner ends up being at a place WAY too nice for the cheap dress you got for the occasion and you murmur that you’re underdressed to hakyeon and he’s like “you look more beautiful than anyone else in the room…..but also if you want we can go to mcdonalds”

u end up eating a big mac by the river and hakyeon doesn’t get fast food with just anyone….. he knows as soon as he gets ketchup on his chin and you laugh at him (but wipe it off afterwards) that he’s found someone special

for almost a month the two of you go on little dates like this without ever saying it’s a date, but each time you get closer to kissing until FINALLY you’re the one that breaks and kisses him goodnight…. hakyeon’s like ;^) because he’s totally been teasing you the whole time and wanted to make you kiss him first hehe

after that u guys are “””officially””” dating but he explains to you that his line of work isn’t….great and he doesn’t want you being in danger so it’s not official official you know?

he hires a new cleaner because he feels weird about having you be his worker and you’re like “you’re not going to seduce them too are you? because i doubt they would be cool with you killing someone in front of them”

and hakyeon’s like of course not~~~ i only have eyes for you~~~ as soon as i realized you used my favorite dish soap i was hooked~~~

he not so secretly pays off some of your student loans and ur like ummm wtf take it back i’m not your sugar baby ,,,,,, and he’s like i never really paid you enough for not ratting me out to the police consider this your blackmail money

when he finally tells you what his actual occupation is ur sorta like, yeah i figured

really unnecessarily flirty in public and especially annoying so when his gang members are around ,,,,, like ken so much as breathes your way and hakyeon is like I Am Your Boss. which half pisses you off because he knows you wouldn’t cheat but half makes you very attracted to him

you make him put up pictures in his room which he wouldn’t do for anyone else but he wants to have pictures of the two of you around for when he can’t see you

you’re pretty much the only one who can beat hakyeon in a fight of any sort because as much as he pretends he isn’t and teases you for liking him so much…. he’s very whipped for you …..

because ever since he got into crime he figured no one would ever love him the way you love him… but you see past the illegal stuff and really care about the person he is and he would do anything to make you happy and safe

#vixx scenarios #vixx imagines #n scenarios #hakyeon scenarios #vixx #hakyeon #💌#he attacc.....he protecc........#long post #for anon!!!!

94 notes · View notes

i-have-been-changed-for-good · 5 years

Text

Scott’s Flirtations

Monday - Scott comes in extra late today and I’m out of stuff to print. I decide to just make my coffee. I pour my coffee into my Contigo and then go to put the paper cup in the recycling. The back door sounds. Scott comes in and we greet each other. I walk back to the coffee machine. As Scott passes he says, “I could smell you as soon as I walked in. It’s nice though.“ I laugh. I sprayed my vanilla mist not long before he got here. I go up the hall to the sink and fridge and hear Scott coming up. He goes to the fridge and says, “What’s up?” He then dumps out a plastic cup and throws it out and grabs two new cups. He then puts the first cup he grabbed back as I ask, “Why do you need so many cups?” “No, I just need one. I don’t like taking the one on top so I grabbed the one under it.” I laugh and ask why. He says “Cuz idk who touched it. It’s weird, I know.” It’s kinda funny cuz while Scott never takes the top, I never take the bottom of anything lol. He walks away and a few seconds later I do too. I look at his butt and take in his thin frame.

I pop out when Scott makes his tea and I ask if he’s cold today. He says he is but it’s warm in his office. I don’t know if it’s the way he says this, but we both start laughing even though it’s not even funny.

Today or tomorrow was supposed to be my hire date, but I still haven’t heard anything. I don’t even know my new salary, but I found a condo I like and need my new salary to get pre-approved for a mortgage. I email the head of HR and while I wait for a response, my anxiety rises. I’m trying to focus on my work, but it’s not helping. I rack my brain. What always makes me feel better? The answer comes swiftly. Being around Scott. The water jug is pretty much empty, so I go to fill up what I can in my water bottle and then take the empty jug out. When I look at Scott through his window, he’s already looking at me with a warm, affectionate expression. I smile back at him, take a full jug, and head back inside. I go back to my desk feeling a lot calmer and more at peace. I wish I could take a photo of the way he was looking at me so that I would never forget.

I don’t talk to Scott again for the rest of the day. I spend most of the rest of the day in tears when I find out my new salary. It’s more than I’m making, but not by much. I won’t be able to afford the condo. I wonder if I’ll be able to afford moving at all.

Tuesday - I wake up in the morning, and I remember the dreams that I had. Two about Scott. One was we were about to do sexual stuff, and Scott was worried about the size of his penis. Once we started doing stuff, he got more comfortable. It was a weird dream, for sure. The second dream was nice. We were just laying together in my bed and talking, though I don’t remember what we talked about.

I’m throwing my coffee cup away in the morning when Scott comes in. “Hey, Scott. Good morning.” “Hey, Dana. Good morning. How are you? “I’m alright. How are you?” “I’m okay so far.” I grab my coffee and head up the hall for my creamer. Scott’s office door is closed since the heater is on in there, so he’s standing at his desk but leaning back to look up the hall. I know he’s checking to see if I’m still up this way, but I don’t know how to take that. I go back to my desk but realize I forgot to grab my smoothie cup to go rinse it. I go back up the hall to the sink, trying to be quick about it. When I turn to go back to my desk, Scott comes out of his office to come up the hall. I smile at him but he only gives me a neutral smile as we look at each other. I cast my eyes down just before he passes. Today is a hard day for me and everything that happens is going to be passed through a negative filter, though I don’t realize it at the time.

Today makes 4 years since my suicide attempt. It’s always a weird day for me to process and get through. I thought this year, with my hire date being on the day of or day before, that I’d be feeling better, but that has quickly changed. I’m upset about my new salary and so far, I haven’t heard any new news on me being hired.

By some miracle, no one saw me crying yesterday, but the office is pretty active today so I’m not taking any chances. I sit at my desk with my sunglasses on, only taking them off for brief periods until I feel another crying spell coming on. I rinse my Contigo close to lunch. My sunglasses are up even though I had been crying not that long ago. Scott turns to look at me as I get closer and I quickly push my glasses down. Then I wish I hadn’t. He may think he did or said something wrong when this actually has nothing to do with him. I’m debating on whether or not I want to go in during my lunch, but I didn’t really get to talk to Scott yesterday, so I decide I’ll go in and hope he doesn’t ask too many questions, which of course is the opposite of what Scott does. I knock and ask if I can come in. He responds with, “Of course.” As soon as he sees me he asks, “Why the sunglasses?” I sit down and say, “I’m starting a new trend.” “Of wearing sunglasses indoors?” “Yeah.” He smiles at me and I can tell his mind is working to figure out why I’ve got these glasses on. I realize that it’s not because I’ve been crying, since I’ve cried at work plenty of times. It has more to do with this day and how I feel about it. He asks me if I’m copying him since he wears the tinted reading glasses and they kinda look like sunglasses. We ask each other how our day is going, and Scott asks me once again why I’m wearing the sunglasses. I don’t know what I tell him this time around, I think maybe that they just look cool. I change the topic and tell him I had the starfruit, which was not good. It was kind of bitter. I recommend he not try one if he ever feels compelled to. Tbh I may have let it get too ripe, but I don’t know for sure. He asks me how condo shopping went and I told him there was one I liked but that I can’t afford it on my new salary. Scott starts asking me questions about that and I’m glad I have the sunglasses on because my eyes get watery. I’m sure he can hear it in my voice too. I tell Scott I’ll be at $18 an hour and he says that isn’t too bad, but he doesn’t understand. I try to explain to him that I have a lot of debt that I’ve been trying to pay off, plus my student loans, plus trying to save for a place, plus not knowing if I’m going to get the health insurance exemption. I say how if I end up owing the government money I’m going to just have to tell them to take me to jail because I don’t have anything to give them. I don’t say it seriously, more sarcastically with a bit of a dramatic effect. Scott laughs and says, “Shut up. They won’t take you to jail. If they do I’ll post your bail.” I’m still feeling down and Scott says maybe I can negotiate my salary, but to just not be an asshole about it. I ask him why I would be an asshole about it and he says he doesn’t know what I’d say to them. He’s really not making me feel better. We continue with our conversation and toward the end of it, when I’m still clearly upset about the entire situation, he says, “Cheer up. Could be worse.” “Oh, thanks. I feel much better now.” “Well what would make you feel better? What do you want me to do for you? There’s nothing I can do to make you feel better. Well….” I look at him. That “Well…” was added on purpose. So I ask, “’Well’, what?” “Well there is something, but we won’t go there right now.” We both laugh and it’s funny for the moment, but then the moment’s gone and it’s not funny anymore. I don’t know how to take what he said. I felt like it was a jab at me still wanting him, which is still a daily thorn in my side since he’s married and I can’t be with him. We talk for another minute and then it’s 12:45. When I leave I turn to close the door and see Scott is watching me. I go back to my desk actually feeling worse than I did before I went in to talk to Scott. Did he mean what he said in a different way than I’m interpreting it? If so, he’s going to have to be a bit more clear and straightforward about it.

Scott starts his tea just as I’m about to come out to go to the filing cabinet. I could wait till he’s done, but I decide to continue on anyway. I don’t look at him when I come out, and when I head back to my desk, I see him watching me, but then I adjust my sunglasses so that I don’t see him anymore. I hear someone walk by to go outside a few minutes later and I assume it’s Scott. I go around to one of the cubicles behind me since I have papers back there I need to file. I go and grab some and when I get to the hall, I almost bump into Scott. He asks, “Is that your almond creamer in the fridge?” “Yeah.” “We use the same brand.” “You can use mine if you need to.” “You can use mine. There’s only a little left in both our bottles.” “Okay. Thanks, Scott.”

A little later in the day we pass each other in the warehouse. Scott is walking his slowest walk, so on my way back I end up not far behind him. Someone honks the horn on a lift and I turn to see if they’re coming down this aisle, but they’re not. I turn back to face in front of me and see that Scott turned around as well. And he stopped walking. I say to him, “You walk slow.” I usually get annoyed when people walk slow but with Scott I don’t mind at all. I never have, actually. He responds, “Maybe I do it on purpose. I’m not in no hurry.” We don’t say anything else. I don’t really feel like talking, to be honest. I get to the door first so I hold it for him. He’s looking down at either my legs or shoes. He thanks me and starts to look up, but I turn and walk back to my desk. At the end of the day I go to the paper bin, but Tom is in the hallway and looking at me, so I feel weird going into Scott’s office. Scott gets a phone call anyway. I want to talk to him though. I want to tell him that it’s not him, that today is just hard. I want to tell him how I’m lucky to even be alive. I want to tell him how every January since then I’ve somehow ended up in the hospital. I want to tell him how I feel stupid for letting a date affect me so much. I find another piece of paper to recycle and go back to the bin. I hear Scott hang up the phone so I open his door and stand in the doorway. It’s 4:44 but I don’t care. I ask how the rest of his day has been. He says he’s been busy. I say, “That’s good.” “I guess so. How about you?” “It’s okay.” Scott turns in his chair to face me as he says, “Has your day gotten any better, or not really, is it still the same?” He asks the three questions at once, like a run-on sentence, and I realize in this moment how Scott is only human too. I always think of him as so well put-together because he always makes himself come across that way, and because of that I often forget that he has his own little world inside of him and how he’s most likely not always as put-together as he seems. And he’s very good at hiding his emotions. How do I know what was going on inside him during my lunch? He’s affected by things in his life whether he shows it or not. I realize in this moment he’s trying to make up for not being that supportive earlier. When I answer him, I tell him the simplest possible answer of the truth. “The same, I guess. The 29th is always a hard day for me.” There’s a pause, and I expect him to ask me something like if I lost someone, but instead he asks, “Did something bad happen to you?” “Yeah.” I say yeah because it’s just what comes out and it’s the easiest answer. I need easy right now. A lot of bad things have happened to me, but my suicide attempt is more so something I did than something that happened to me. Scott says, “That sucks.” Ah, he’s back to his typical self. He surprises me one minute and then doesn’t surprise me the next, but I like this about him. I look at him and can tell he’s thinking about something. I can always tell. I start talking about the warmth in his office and the heater. I yawn and say I should’ve made another coffee. Scott says something about the creamers but I don’t hear what he said. I ask if he’s the one who pushed my creamer down into the door and he says yeah, so I thank him. I tell him I have a full creamer at home that I’ll bring in when mine is empty. He says “We can pour ours into just one bottle like I said since we both only have a little left.” Crap, okay, that’s what I didn’t hear him say. I say that’s fine and he asks if I care and I say “No, I don’t care” at the same time he says, “Cuz I don’t care.” Our “I don’t care”s line up with each other. I feel a little better. Scott wants to share with me. We decide to take turns buying the creamer. Since I already have a bottle, I’ll start us off. We look at each other, then Scott looks at me, then back at his screen, then back at me. I ask “Is it time to go?” just as he says, “It’s time to go.” Our “time to go”s line up with each other.

I’m already in my car when Scott comes outside. He’s got a little smile on his face. We wave and I wonder what he’s thinking about.

Wednesday - I miss Scott in the morning and their door is closed all day cuz they have the heater on. I use the bathroom halfway through my lunch, and I’m almost at Scott’s door when he sees me. He smiles at me through Steve’s window and so I open the door and go in. We greet each other. I notice he has a banana, which I happened to bring today, so I tell him he always brings the same fruit as me. I mean, the odds are pretty likely anyway, since I usually bring several different fruit, and Scott always has either an apple or a banana, but still. He tells me he read my mind. I tell him I don’t mind that and he smiles at me. I ask him, “What am I thinking right now?” but he only responds with, “I don’t know.” I find one lone cat hair on my boot and say how I don’t think I own anything that doesn’t have cat hair on it. Scott asks if my boots go up over my knees, which they clearly do, and I say “yeah.” Then I say, “They’re my hooker boots” just as Scott says “I like them.” We both start cracking up at this. He asks me if I’m feeling better today and that I seem like I’m in a better mood. I say that I am feeling a bit better. It’s so sweet how he always checks up on me. I tell him I did the virtual reality thing earlier and how it was pretty neat. I start talking about my boots again, saying how the little boots I normally wear I got makeup on, and that I have to try and get it off. Scott asks if these boots are for special occasions and I tell him they aren’t, that I got them for Christmas and that is only the second time I’ve worn them. Then he says, “They’re hot.” I smile and say, “Thanks.” If I was looking for a clear answer on what Scott meant yesterday, well, he just gave it to me. We somehow get on the topic of math and then Sudoku, which Scott has never played nor heard of. I pull up an example on my phone and start explaining it to him. A little bit of cleavage is showing, which as I bend over, I notice Scott looking. We get on the topic of horror movies and then Scott tells me he finally finished Breaking Bad. “What?!? You didn’t even tell me you started watching it!” He tells me his favorite character was Gus, who was one of my least favorites. I guess it’s not really surprising that Scott likes Gus, considering Gus’s personality. He asks me who my favorite was and I tell him Mike and Saul. He asks me if I’ve watched Better Call Saul and I tell him I’ve watched only the first 3 seasons since that’s all that’s on Netflix right now, and that while it’s good, Breaking Bad is definitely better. He gets paged for a phone call and I tell him that I’ll answer and say that he’s busy, He tells me to go ahead and I laugh and say how that’s suspicious a woman answering and saying he’s busy at the moment. Scott just looks at me and then answers the phone. When he gets off the phone, we talk about video games for a bit. Scott is surprised that I used to be a big gamer and he tells me how he used to enter Madden tournaments.

After my lunch, I pop out of my cubicle just as the warehouse door opens. I look back over my shoulder and see it’s Scott, so I smile at him. A little later I have to go ask Steve about an order, and Scott looks at me while I talk to Steve. I give him a smile when I’m done. When Scott goes to lunch I’m standing at Joyce’s cubicle, but angled toward Scott’s office. He comes walking out to go outside and I look at him. I have to keep my expression the same, but Scott gives me a little smile and raises his eyebrows up and down.

Later in the afternoon, I have to go talk to Steve about the same order again. Scott takes off his tinted reading glasses, turns in his chair, and watches me. I come in from the warehouse and Scott is right at his trash can. I smile at him. When I sit back down at my desk, Scott comes into my cubicle and asks me for a piece of gum since he ran out. I hand him a piece and our hands touch. His touch lingers on my hand long after he’s walked away.

Thursday - I miss Scott again when he comes in, but I get right up after he passes. Since Steve has the door closed, Scott has to open it, so he sees me. He turns his head and we greet each other.

I’m walking back to my cubicle from Joyce’s when Scott comes out, walking toward me. He asks me for gum and says he’s slacking and that he still hasn’t bought any. I give him a piece.

I’m making my second cup of coffee when I hear someone silently walk past me. I turn and see Scott turn right toward the men’s room. I go and put creamer in my coffee and then go back to my desk, where I spill coffee on my sweater. I go to the women’s room to wipe it off. I come out of the women’s room right before he comes out of the men’s room. We both say “hey”. I look back over my shoulder and Scott grins at me. I stick my tongue out and over my top lip as I smile. When I reach the end of the hall I look at him again before turning into my cubicle. I go out into the warehouse and on my way back, I can tell Scott is facing his doorway. His door is still closed, so I will have to look through Steve’s window as I pass. I give Scott a little smile, but his mouth is in a thin line. I don’t know why he does that sometimes. I think maybe he doesn’t realize it. I go on lunch and am walking toward the front when Scott comes out of one of the small conference rooms right ahead of me. We lock eyes and give each other flirty smiles. “Hey, Scott.” “Hey, Dana.” We pass each other and then he asks if I have gum on me. “No.” “Aw, man.” “Well, I have some at my desk.” “Can I have some? I’ll buy you a pack. I gotta go to the dentist right now. “You don’t have to buy me any gum.” I walk toward him, back toward my desk, and he follows close behind me. I look back at him as we walk together and he tells me one of his fillings fell out. “And you’re still chewing gum?” He says “yeah” and grins at me. I hand him a piece of gum and our hands touch. His hands are so soft. He thanks me and walks away and I head upstairs, then come back down to heat my food. My hand is still tingling in the spot his hand touched mine.

Scott comes back about 2 hours later, and he comes right to my cubicle when he gets inside. He holds out 2 packs of gum and asks me which flavor I want, blueberry or watermelon. I tell him he didn’t have to get me any gum, but he keeps his arm outstretched and I know that Scott wanted to do this. I look at the packs in his hand, aware of his eyes on me. Scott never buys watermelon, but I chew that flavor all the time, and while I do kind of want the blueberry, I know he probably got the watermelon for me, so I choose that one. At the end of the day I go to his doorway and ask how the dentist went. He said they had to give him 7 needles of Novocaine since he’s somewhat immune to it, and that it’s only now started to wear off. He hasn’t even eaten anything since this morning. I tell him how I am confirmed for Monday as a permanent employee and how I got my offer letter finally. “You didn’t reject it?” he jokes. I tell him they’re giving me a little sign-on bonus since I’ve been waiting. I go over to the chair next to his desk. We get back on the Novocaine topic and how he’s immune to it, and I ask if he used to shoot it for fun and if that’s why it doesn’t affect him as much. I’m joking of course, but Scott replies that you can’t get high from Novocaine and that it only numbs you. We talk for a few more minutes and then I say it’s time to go. Scott sighs and says, “I know.” He’s still working. He tells me he’s been going to the gym every day after work and I ask him questions about that. He says it’s on his way home. He tells me he needs new jeans and we talk about jeans for a minute or two. I say, “Bye, Scott. See you tomorrow.” I turn to look at him through Steve’s window and Scott turns away from watching me. Friday - In the morning I turn to Scott as he’s halfway up the hall. We wave and greet each other. Sometime in the late morning I go to the recycling bin. I know Scott walked past to use the men’s room, and I can smell his cologne lingering. The men’s room door opens so I start walking toward the women’s room. We smile at each other and I say in a sultry voice I didn’t know I was capable of, “I thought it smelled sexy over here.” Scott laughs as he walks up the hall. I go in to talk to him during my lunch. As soon as I go in I get hit with the warmth. I tell him it feels good. He says his mouth still hurts from getting all the needles yesterday and that he can’t wait to drink some alcohol. “Gonna drink a lot on Superbowl Sunday?” “Well I meant I was gonna drink tonight.” I laugh and say, “Okay, yeah, that works too.” I ask him how the gym was yesterday and he says it was good. He’s doing a lot of cardio. He did like 3 miles on the elliptical. I tell him that’s impressive. It was absolutely freezing yesterday, like only 8°, and he says he was sweating so much that he drove home with the windows down. He adds on, “I was hot.” My immediate instinct is to say, “You always are” but I hold myself back because I’m still not 100% sure if I’m reading Scott right on everything and I don’t want to overkill on the flirting. I start talking about exercise games while he works. He asks me if my hire date is Monday and I tell him it is and that I can’t wait to have health insurance. He says cuz I’m young I shouldn’t have too many health problems going on. I give him a look and he laughs and corrects himself since I have in fact had many health issues going on. I tell him all together I have 7 doctor appointments to make plus bloodwork to schedule. I still have a cough from my asthma and allergy attacks and Scott tells me I got Steve sick and we playfully argue over this. I shoot a piece of trash into his trash can and make it in, and when I turn to Scott I say how he finally saw me. He turns away, smiles, and says he didn’t. We get on the topic of the snow this morning and Scott says it wasn’t snowing when he came in, but I know it was because I filled up my water bottle this morning and was watching the snow. We playfully argue over this as well and I tell him all that Novocaine has gone to his head. I get up to go throw my cup into the recycling bin and Scott comes out of his office a second later. We both naturally smile at this pleasant surprise. When I reach where the bathrooms are I look back at Scott. He has a neutral face. I somehow finish using the bathroom before he does. Of course in my mind I was hoping he would finish first and then when I come out he would grab me and kiss me. Sigh…. The men’s room door opens and when I reach the top of the hall I look back at him. I go in to talk to him at the end of the day. I tell him it’s warm in his office and he asks me if it’s too warm. I tell him it’s actually nice since it feels like they turned the heat off out where our cubicles are. I have my beanie on and he asks me what it says. It says “Namaste”, so I explain to him it’s meaning in India and it’s use in yoga, which of course comes from India. He asks if my boots are new and I tell him they are but I’ve been wearing them everyday. These are the ones I spilled makeup on but I used stain remover and got it off. It’s snowing outside and these aren’t exactly the best boots for snow. He starts his car up and I tell him that must be nice. He tells me I could get an automatic starter, but I reply that I will when I get a new car like 10 years from now. I say how his car is older than mine but looks so much nicer, and how I’ve had the driver side mirror taped on with electrical tape for 3 years now. We talk some more on this topic and then I tell him how I’m almost done all of the training videos and how I failed almost every test on the first try. It’s time to go so we tell each other to have a nice weekend. I look at him as I close the door and as I pass Steve’s window. Our eyes lock and we don’t break the eye contact until I pass out of view.

I’m brushing the snow off my car with a broom when Scott comes out. As soon as he sees me he starts laughing and I ask him why he’s laughing. He just tells me, “I don’t know.” I start laughing too, though I don’t even know why. We say bye and when I get in my car, Scott leaves. I miss him already.

0 notes