#may i present...this fucking thing

[theatre-heathen]

im back on my RWRB photoshop bullshit

#may i present...this fucking thing #i will be a menace until rwrb drops #red white and royal blue annotations #rwrb #rwrb alex #firstprince #henry fox mountchristen windsor #alex claremont diaz #casey mcquiston #red white and royal blue #i love him on purpose #booksbooksbooks #rwrb movie #prince henry rwrb

[sollucets]

rowan's eclipse anniversary celebration

week ten: the thumb thing

#the eclipse the series #the eclipse #akkayan #first kanaphan #khaotung thanawat #rowan gifs #eclipse1year #tusersilence #tuserhidden #khaotunq #tostrangers #userjustafriend #<3? #this was supposed to be 'blending' as some of you may know #however. #i tried and tried and just could not fucking manage that #so instead i present a collection of one of my favorite akkaye things #the thumb <3

[blueskittlesart]

deeply refreshing to see someone critical of Swift who also like, genuinely likes her. Like i'm neutral to positive on her, but the online discourse has been absolutely rancid. flipping between "Taylor Swift has never done anything wrong ever and she's a fucking genius" and "Taylor Swift is the worst lyricist of all time and also a bad person" is exhausting, so thank you for like. nuance or something lmao

not to make it serious for a sec but i genuinely think that being able to like things that are bad is really important. like I think that it's an important skill to be able to look at something and see what you personally enjoy about it and then take a step back and acknowledge that objectively it's flawed. and to also be able to acknowledge that liking something isn't necessarily an identity or a moral stance. and i think that fandom space in general could really benefit from more people taking the time to learn how to do that. it's okay to like things that are bad

#people ask me sometimes why ill occasionally talk about something i like and then go 'but it's bad' and the answer is usually because it is #i love teen wolf. i love genshin impact. i love detective conan. and i fucking LOVE taylor swift. that doesnt mean theyre good #it just means i like them. and recognizing their flaws actually helps me better identify what i like about them! #it's like. in my mind bad > good is the x axis and i like it > i dont like it is the y axis yk. they're not mutually exclusive #tldr it's not that serious. we can all relax a little #irt taylor swift i do also think she has done some real harm to her fans in enabling them to deflect all criticism of her as misogyny #and i don't think it's fully the fault of these people who are parroting that response bc so much of her marketing has deliberately #reinforced this idea that to be a swiftie is to be a part of a sisterhood and that any attack on taylor is an attack on all of those women #who are in that in-group. when that's obviously not the case. but she's marketed herself as. for lack of a better term. 'girl music' #to the point where it makes her fans feel as though any criticism of the music or the woman responsible for it is an attack on their #personal experience of womanhood/girlhood/sisterhood/etc. and that's how you get all of thess bad-faith accusations of misogyny #i don't necessarily think this was her deliberate goal with her marketing tho because like. on first glance such a strong sense of communit #among fans sounds like a great thing. the friendship bracelets i got at the eras tour movie are really genuinely special to me. #but it does present a problem when your fans are unable to separate how they feel about the community and experience your music has fostere #from how they feel about you as a person. especially when you are a billionaire who absolutely CANNOT be above criticism in this economy #anyway. tldr i love taylor's music and i don't think swiftie hivemind is as deliberately malicious as it may seem #but it's obviously necessary to be able to take a step back and look objectively at what you're participating in. #anyway stream ttpd or don't idc <3 #taylor swift

[bonnieisaway]

gun to my fucking head u tell me "believe that seven in the past and seven as he is now are two seperate people and entities are not the same person and the past seven would have never been as kind or caring as the current seven became" i'll read you my will and testament right fucking there i do not care what anybody says to me that's the same bitch . that's the same motherfucker. have you ever looked in the mirror and asked yourself who you'd be if that didn't happen to you. if the tramua didn't hold you down everyday. if you lived a better life. that's what happened to seven. the same motherfucker who got a new start. that man was never some heartless killer , the man who was some "stone cold, heartless, steel-faced killer" who didn't care isn't hiding inside him because he does not exist. you can look. you will not find him. the director himself right the fuck now could say that to me and i wouldn't fucking believe him

there is EMPATHY in every action he takes in his past. the show does not make sense in any regard - in the way we pick it apart and comb over it like we always do - if he was just some heartless guy who lives on in the depths of seven who does not care. that boy would never only fight on missions. that boy would never refuse to draw his sword on redtooth until he had no other option. that boy would not consistently, and wordlessly spare bystanders who he understands are harmless and are stricken by their own emotions. and that boy would never, never go against every killer in the world to save a girl who he knew had been set out as a trap for him.

that's not a different seven that is seven in a worse scenario. he's not "unlocking his old personality" or "reverting to who he used to be" or "becoming a cold killer again" - he is once again put in the same scenario that poses danger to his life. seven is not moving backwards, nor unlocking something hidden in him - and i don't mean his memories, yes, he is gaining some back, but i mean the fundamental personality and "person" he was believed to be back then - history is repeating itself and his life is being shaped by the same inherent tragedy it once was. yes, he had one moment to laugh in season four. that does not mean he doesn't want to anymore, or can't, or won't, it means he will when he fucking can despite despite despite.

i'm so i'm going insane to a point i cannot put it into words but i dont i don't LIKE the thought process of "becoming who he used to be." or the concept that he was ever anyone else . that is unfalteringly, and indisputably seven. there's no other seven. his life was built around a world that was not fit for a fifteen year old with no visible or prominent family to be in, let alone one where at the age of fifteen he killed people to survive. there was ALWAYS a love in that man's heart but there was an inherent wall he learned to build around it. a wall that when he woke up on chicken island he did not feel the need to build. i feel like i cannot put this into words well enough

#scissor seven #killer seven #wu liuqi #seven #it feels the same as saying the thirteen in season 1 and the thirteen in season 4 are two different people #because she gradually learned to let seven in and to care for him #these two go through an incredibly fucking similar arc from their past to their present #and it does not make either of them a “different” person - it makes them someone who learned to love despite despite despite #seven's amnesia is the only thing that sets him apart from thirteen #and even then this was something he WAS learning with the girl in white #seven's amnesia pushed him much much further down that path of learning to love and smile than thirteen may ever get #and it's unclear if seven will ever be that carefree again #but that does not make him another person #and it does not make her another person #i feel like im never gonna be able to put this into words to a point where im satisfied #tl;dr im losing my fucking mind #thirteen

[mayasaura]

I don't have the book at hand to quote, but what struck me when I was reading it was John going desperately from how he had to make them his hands and fingers!! to keep them!! he IMMEDIATELY segues into how he's so sad he had to feed the revenant beasts his fingers to keep them away :( it was so awful that they made him do that :( like he makes them possessions then having objectified them he justifies having to destroy his Things to keep himself safe. which I think is where he and Harrow are going to diverge. (noting that they've already taken very different tactics as far as the order of what gets kept safe)

It's the very next line! This quote picks up exactly where the last one left off:

That's definitely a legit way to read this passage, though it's not the way I prefer to. I mean. Hypocrisy found in God, fork found in kitchen. Come on. But yeah, that's an undeniably fucked up trajectory.

More seriously, I see John's chapters of Nona the Ninth as a confession, rather than as a justification. It's not meant to be coherent or consistant, just emotionally honest. He's expressing how he felt in the moments he made his decisions and asking to be understood, but he's not asking to be affirmed, or forgiven. "Just as there can be no forgiveness for me," and all.

The way in which his story does make sense—the way he's choosing to frame it—is fascinating for what it shows about John and what he's so deeply afraid of, in his heart of hearts. He loved them, and he sacrificed them, and then he sacrificed them again, but at least they didn't leave him.

And yet even in his confession there are still levels on which he seems to sincerely not understand what he's done wrong—mostly surrounding the autonomy and personhood of other people. Like you said, he objectifies people. He loves them as extensions of himself, because that is the only thing he understands as being real. He has no peers, as he is God. His closest friends are his fists and gestures, the fingers on his hand. As necessary to him as a limb, and losing them cripples him, but he doesn't understand them as people in their own right at all. And that lack of respect and understanding leads to him treating them horrifically.

It's kind of sad, in a way. Not to jump tracks completely, but the way John loves reminds me of this quote from episode 55 of Welcome to Night Vale:

It's presented in the context of a romantic couple, but it works more broadly. lt seems like the only way John knows how to love is by subsuming what he loves into himself, becoming one. Leaving him once again alone.

What's interesting is that he appears to know this about himself. Right in this quote, he directly compares himself to the Resurrection Beasts. Revenants that crack open worlds to eat their souls for sustenance, then pack the dead shells onto their exteriors to become part of themselves. As he sees it, the difference is that the Resurrection Beasts will eventually be satisfied. He won't be.

As for the parallels between John and Harrow, I don't think we need to look for where they're going to diverge. I think we can point to where they already have. And it's a fair comparison, to a time before John was God.

Look at John's reaction to his cult schisming, here:

He loves his friends, but he doesn't trust them. Deep down, he believes their love is conditional. If he fucks up, if he's caught slipping, if he admits he's wrong, he'll lose them. He's terrified of anyone finding out he's flawed, of the ugly parts of him being known, because he's certain anyone who sees that part of him will leave. He's gone ten thousand years like that, compounding lies to make them stay.

Harrow has a similarly harsh expectation of herself, but she's already taken her leap of faith, and let the mask drop. She's told the people she loves exactly who and what she is, with the full expectation they would punish or abandon her for it. With the full expectation Gideon would kill her for it, in the pool scene. And Gideon embraced her. She confronted Ortus with her failings in the River, and Ortus comforted her, and still chose to stay and risk his life to save her.

The people who loved John would have done the same for him. Did do the same for him. They stayed through his breakdown, they stayed by his side until it killed them, but John could never let his guard down enough to trust that they would have done it just for him. He couldn't submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.

This is all, of course, working with the basic premise that the way John treats people is horrific, and he did have all the opportunites in the world to stop. He could have taken that plunge any time in the ten thousand and thirty-something years he's been alive, if he'd been strong enough to accept the consequences or believed in the rewards. It was all so fucking avoidable, but here we are. My favorite kind of tragedy.

#er. I realize I may have a different perspective on the whole god thing than many in the fandom and I don't mean offense! #it's just that gods are understood as being.... beings of pride I guess? they're disadvantaged by hubris #there are good reasons to worship them but their power obscures their ability to understand the true nature of reality #if siddhartha guatama had stayed a prince he would have been a great king but he would never have been the buddha y'know? #same principal #I think the main point of disagreement I have could be summed up as #I see John's account being presented as an explaination #not as an excuse #the locked tomb #emperor john gaius #ntn spoilers #nona the ninth #alexa play the saga of you confused destroyer of world lmao #hm. come to think of it john did have equivalents to the pool scene and the battle with the Sleeper and they fucking sucked #that's for another post

[vashti-lives]

*squints* a kid I know is turning 7 on Wednesday is this too young for a series of unfortunate events?

#he’s just old enough buying presents is getting a little hard because more options for things he could like #and I don’t know him terribly well #but I do know he was born with a cleft palate and he had a major speech impediment #and I think it makes making friends difficult #he’s not having a birthday party he’s having a ‘sleepover’ in his living room with his parents #i didn’t want to be like oh god that’s so fucking sad #to his dad #but like !!!!! it’s so sad #and Idaho is increasingly hostile to uh #most forms of life! #anyway I suspect he may find lemony snicket’s outlook familiar #and perhaps comforting #but maybe I’ll wait for Christmas? idk

[tibli]

i think people have a tendency to overlook just how emotionally-driven dirk is as a character. probably because he has a tendency to try and mask it with the whole 'oh im doing this because i have everything planned out and this is the most logical course of action' shtick.

i know heart as an aspect is more in reference to a person's soul than it is to their emotions, but goddamnit dirk thinks with his heart okay!!! he may try to act like the logical one but he is RULED by his emotions!!!!

#homestuck #dirk strider #he gets so deeply attached to people #and he feels things so strongly but has convinced himself that hes some kind of emotionless robot #thats false bitch!!!!! his outward emotional expression does NOT reflect his internal feelings!!!!!! #thats why i adore his relationship with roxy because she is very much a 'heart-on-her-sleeve' person #and i think that is a quality he envies bc it allows her to get close to people instead of alienating them #dirk may not express much through body language #but he is SO expressive with the actions he takes and thats really important!!!!! #your friends love you dirk!!!!! stop shitting on yourself!!!!!! #sorry im just thinking about like. how he was treated post-homestuck #i just dont feel like meat dirk is like. accurate to his character idk #like yes he does tend to like. try to pull strings in the bg bc he thinks thats whats best for people #but he also like. comes of as a fucking creep in the epilogues in a way that just wasnt present in hs proper #idk how to explain it but it just feels like his character got fucking ASSASSINATED in the epilogues. j*ne too for the love of god

[orbmanson7]

Not sure why I drew this, just take it

#may i present to you 4 (four) trans autistic gay scientists #newt geiszler #hermann gottlieb #dan cain #herbert west #pacific rim #reanimator #re animator #idk ship names so im not bothering to tag that #needles #orb cant draw #doodles #dan is so stupidly tall compared to everyone here wth #like in canon i mean but also geez #might redo this digitally so i can add some much needed color and fix some anatomy issues #hmm #ive never drawn anything pacific rim ever in my entire life and THIS is the first thing i manage to draw of it #in fucking 2023 of all times #christ

[corrodedcoughin]

my sillay goofy thought for you is….. picture this; corroded coffin performing their song, stacy’s mom (or sOME STUPID VARIATION OF IT BUT I ALSO BELIEVE THEY HAVE AT LEAST ONE SONG ABOUT HOT MILFS - and maybe the variation is… about having a thing for someone u totallyyyyy shouldn’t have. like who could THAT be?) anyways. is this anything🧍‍♂️

Picking this up and twirling it around like the end of a beautiful romcom AAAAAAHHHH

I ADORE this!! I feel like they’d go in for a 2 for 1 part of their set list. An milf interlude, a milf-terlude if you will…

Scotty doesn’t know and Stacey’s mom played back to back with so much ferocity that at the end there is a shout to the crowd for inhalers and a request for a musical interlude of Jeff giving a quite beautiful guitar solo from the last unicorn soundtrack. They have to calm the masses (6 people in the crowd actively not watching, 4 people that ARE and 5 people at the bar who are not facing them and engaged in their own conversations)

There is no coherence to a corroded coffin set list but you can’t say they don’t create a ✨ musical experience like no other ✨

(Yes Steve is one of the 4 that is watching and promptly unbuttoned his top button of his polo shirt after the milf-terlude that had intense eye contact with a one, Eddie munson)

#ruubbbbbyyyyyy #I’ve not written a Steddie thought in MONTHS #you are activating my neurons #and thinking abt Eddie singing ‘dusty doesn’t know DONT TELL DUSTY’ obnoxiously in his van and at rehearsal #but too scared to do it at the actual gig #they continue to have intense eye contact that neither of them mention for a ridiculous amount of time #until they fight over the free lollipop the diner gives out with the table cheque #both lay claim. both lick it in an attempt to get ownership. both realise they may as well kiss #so they do #IDK!!! #but it’s a Christmas miracle and Wayne is so happy that he gives Steve his Christmas present early #it’s a mug ‘you are part of the fmaily now son 😭’ #then turns to Eddie ‘don’t you fuck this up for me 🫵’ #stranger things #eddie munson #steddie #steve harrington #I am so sorry this is such a lame and late reply I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A NICE DAY I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU MWAH MWAH

[ifyougoillfollow]

Do you have any pretending to date erasermic fics?? It’s my favorite trope!

No, but I wrote one! ;D

Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead & Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Shirakumo Oboro & Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Kayama Nemuri | Midnight & Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic Characters: Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Shirakumo Oboro, Kayama Nemuri | Midnight, Sensouji | Mister Blaster Additional Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Bad Flirting, Banter, Friendship/Love, Falling In Love, Pining, Misunderstandings, Bullying, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Happy Ending, Shirakumo Oboro Lives, not the point of the fic but the boy's still kickin, Wingman Shirakumo Oboro, Wingman Kayama Nemuri | Midnight, they try lol, Protective Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic is a Little Shit, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead is So Done, save him, Rooftop Gang Shenanigans, Stay Silly :3 Summary: "Shouta's gonna kill you," says Oboro. He looks like he just heard someone fart at a funeral. "Oh yeah, I'm mega dead," Hizashi agrees easily. Deep down he's always known he'd meet his end without much fuss. When it's time, it's time, ya dig? _ Or: Yamada Hizashi's Guide to Successfully Fake-Dating Your Homie

#erasermic #yamada hizashi #present mic #aizawa shouta #i wrote a thing #ask box #teen erasermic #rooftop gang #i was gonna post this on valentine's day but then The Leaks happened and that was that #i do admit i may have lost my cool for a sec #and will probably continue to do so bc i have Opinions regarding canon erasermic #HOWEVER #i prommy i do love both these idiots despite my obvious (and unapologetic) mic bias #to make up for All That(TM) here's 3K words (so far) of mic being an idiot #+ aizawa deserving monetary compensation for putting up with his dumbass #+ nem and oboro deserving fucking nobel peace prizes for putting up w both of them #enjoy <3 #also anon i am so sorry for taking a literal half year to answer this but it is what it is #hope writing a whole fic in your honor makes up for it #also also #if any of y'all out there got some more fake dating erasermic recs both me and (presumably) anon would appreciate 'em 🙏 #peace and love on planet earth

[bisupergirl]

me wanting kara to get another solo that firmly places her on earth with a civilian supporting cast VS me not wanting to see her referred to as "kara danvers" ever again FIGHT

#at this point i would accept ''kara kent'' with open arms #kara zor el #that's literally the only good thing abt the recent lack of sg content. it been at least a year since someone's called her ''kara danvers'' #what pains me is that her silver age origin is basically canon again (as per sg: wot and worlds finest 2022) #but i know in my heart that her precrisis lore and characterization isn't going to be present beyond that #i fear she may never be called linda again....... *fucking dies*

[obliviousriki]

Evening on Bionis’ Shoulder.

#xenoblade #xcde #i love gran dell #its so so so nice and its' got a big tower and it's got machina #the one thing i dont like about xc3 that i've seen so far has been what they did to the machina #that is a human man #with gray face paint #but gran dell also has wheat fields #the thing that xcfc really nails is the apocalyptic feel #like these people have escaped a horrifying creature and are really just making do with what they have and staying behind their walls #the land may be beautiful but they are trapped and defenseless until the companions show up #and then their armus start attacking them??? that fucked me up #the things that are providing you food and keeping you alive are suddenly trying to kill you #probably going to ramble about what i didn't like in the next post but the feel of apocalypse was very present and very well done

[moe-broey]

I FINALLY GOT MY ANGEL FANGS PIERCING YIPPEEEEEEEE

#I MAY OR MAY NOT SHOW IT TBH like i know i've shown my face before but. i don't feel presentable rn HAHAHA #BUT TRUST IT IS SUPER FUCKING COOL THIS IS SO FYCKING HUGE I'M SOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #pain wasn't too bad too! painful yeah but. mostly pinchy. and honestly i've had worse pain w braces #getting oral/lip piercings is the funniest thing you can do after having braces. #feel like pure shit i just want her back (metal in my mouth).

[waywardsalt]

so. i've had an idea for a warrior cats fanfiction story, and have spent the last few years hammering out characters, the clans, how they work, the story... a whole lot of stuff. i've tried writing it before, and right now i don't have a current draft of early chapters, but I did recently write out a scene from much later in the story, and i'm pretty happy with it, soooo... here! a warrior cats fic scene i wrote in like an hour a week ago

By the time she led ShadeClan to the Gathering site, Emberstar felt her anxieties lessen. Her foreleg ached from the effort of the journey, but she kept her head high. Beside her, Acornfall glanced back at their clan, then nodded over to Emberstar. He led the clan down into the Gathering hollow, and Emberstar padded over to the slope up to the leader’s perch. PineClan and CliffClan cats were already quietly milling about in the hollow, and up on the overhang she could see Lakestar and Wolfstar waiting. There was no MoorClan scent among the gathered cats.

              Emberstar made her way up the slope she’d seen Gorsestar and Froststar before her traverse. It was a thin path, slowly becoming steeper and steeper as she slunk closer to the overhang, finally reaching the steep, gravelly slope that led up to the leaders’ perch. Down at the base of the cliff, she could see Acornfall joining the other deputies with a polite nod of his head, and Troutfoot was carefully weaving her way through the crowd to meet with the other healers. Emberstar twitched her whiskers when Lakestar and Wolfstar noticed her. She crouched and tensed her back legs and leapt up the slope.

              It wasn’t enough to reach the top, but she reached out with her forepaw and sunk her claws into the loose gravel and dug her back paws into the ground to keep from slithering back down. She slowly inched forward, moving a kittenstep at a time, but she kept her eyes fixed on the other leaders, more determined than ashamed of herself. Emberstar forced herself up the slope, but her heart skipped a beat when the gravel under her paw proved too loose to get a good enough grip- so close to the top, too. What a shame she had no other forepaw to lash out and find a grip with.

              Emberstar felt herself begin to slide back down the slope, but a pair of jaws grasped her by the scruff and hoisted her up onto the overhang. She clawed at the grass and stumbled a step when let go and turned to meet Wolfstar’s amused gaze. “Careful there, three-paw,” the CliffClan leader gruffly purred. “It’s bad luck to fall at your first Gathering as leader.” She brushed past Emberstar to sit back down next to Lakestar.

              With a huff, Emberstar followed her with a shake of her pelt. “I appreciate your help, but I would have been fine on my own. I suppose I owe you now?”

              Wolfstar’s whiskers twitched. “Are you saying ShadeClan is now in CliffClan’s debt?”

              The young leaders stared at each other, then broke out into amused purrs. Lakestar rolled her eyes and wrapped her tail around her paws. “So, you are ShadeClan’s leader now, Emberstar? Or is it still Emberblaze?”

              “It is Emberstar now. I visited the Moon Cavern for my lives only a few sunrises ago.”

              “May StarClan light your path as leader, then.” Lakestar stiffly dipped her head. Despite the brusque words, there was genuine respect in her pale eyes.

              Wolfstar’s own eyes were still bright with humor. “You’ll be great, I know it. What happened to Froststar, then?”

              Emberstar narrowed her eyes and turned her gaze to the gathered cats. “I’ll explain that once the Gathering begins. MoorClan is late tonight.” She surveyed the crowd of cats, peering straight down at the huddled healers. Sitting with her back to her PineClan clanmates, Flarelight was sitting close to Troutfrost. After a moment, she gazed up at the overhang, and her eyes met Emberstar’s. Her eyes grew wide and she stared at her littermate for a long moment until another healer got her attention. Then, as if she’d seen nothing, Flarelight flicked her tail and joined the conversation. Her twitching tail-tip was the only hint that she was distracted. Emberstar blinked. She’d become leader so recently that not even the other healers knew, much less the other clans’ warriors. In the crowd of CliffClan cats, she spotted Sunscorch, sitting with his fur brushing Moonwhisper’s, his eyes wide and his body stiff while he stared at his sister up on the overhang.

              Poor Sunscorch, so softhearted under those honed claws and strong limbs- he was likely to take the news of Froststar’s death the hardest. Emberstar held his gaze, blinked slowly, and turned her head to the sky. The moon was nearly overhead, and still MoorClan was absent.

              “You ought to start the Gathering now,” Wolfstar growled to Lakestar. “It’s newleaf, after all, and if MoorClan’s late then they’re late.”

              “We should wait,” Emberstar sharply mewed. “This is my first Gathering as leader, so it would be disrespectful to me as well as MoorClan if we begin without them. It may anger StarClan as well,” she finished in a murmur, flicking her tail-tip up at the sky. Wolfstar just bushed out her stormy gray fur and huffed.

              Lakestar gazed up at the sky. Emberstar looked over at her. For so long, as an apprentice, as a warrior, as the deputy, she’d never dared to be so close to the cold PineClan leader. But now, she was barely a tail-length from the sleek silver tabby, and they sat as equals in standing. Lakestar was likely at less than nine lives and Emberstar was without a right foreleg, but they were equals nonetheless.

              She was knocked from her thoughts by Wolfstar headbutting her. The larger cat nearly shoved her off-balance. “Glad to see that we’re both finally up here. I was waiting to see when you’d catch up, three-paw.”

              Emberstar licked Wolfstar’s ear. “You know I must take things slower than you.”

              “Who’d you pick as deputy?” Wolfstar leaned over the edge to inspect the group of deputies. “Hm- Acornfall?”

              “He’s a good warrior. Older than me by four seasons, so I trust his advice and his skill.”

              “I thought you would have picked Lavenderflash. Or maybe Darknose, you two always seemed close.”

              Emberstar gazed down at Lavenderflash, spotting the pure-black molly quickly- she was almost certain there was obvious fondness in her eyes as she looked at her former apprentice. “Lavenderflash is… young and still training her first apprentice. She is a good, loyal warrior, but not fit to be deputy or eventual leader in my mind. And Darknose…” The tom was sitting at the edge of the crowd, alone. “He is a possibility, but he still mourns his brother even all these moons later, so I don’t know if he would be the best choice.”

              Wolfstar made a sniff of approval, then her gaze snapped to the far hill. A yowl rang out, and the three leaders pricked their ears and the cats in the hollow turned to see MoorClan finally arrive, led by Applestar. Emberstar sat stiffly until she spotted Glowflame in the crowd, side-by-side with Orangeclaw. He joined the cats in the hollow with his clan while Applestar broke off to climb up to the overhang, and he seemed to murmur something to Orangeclaw before she angled her ears up at Emberstar. Glowflame looked up and spotted her, and his jaw dropped open. Emberstar couldn’t help but let out a purr of affection for her brother as he gaped in amazement at her.

              Applestar greeted the other leaders when he finally joined them, nodding briefly at Emberstar, and hurriedly sat down next to Lakestar, his mottled fur standing up along his spine. The leaders gave the cats in the hollow a few moments to settle down. In that time, Emberstar saw her littermates make their ways through the crowd towards each other. By the time Lakestar threw back her head and yowled to signify the beginning of the Gathering, Flarelight, Sunscorch, and Glowflame sat huddled together with their eyes trained on their sister. Emberstar met their gazes for just a heartbeat and felt the final icicles of her anxiety melt away.

She then turned her head to watch Lakestar as she began to announce her clan’s news for the moon, and reminded herself of what she had to announce when it was her turn. She was ShadeClan’s leader, now. StarClan had approved of her. Emberstar lifted her chin and, with a deep breath, finally settled into her place at the head of her clan.

#woe warrior cats fanfiction be upon ye #my writing #fanfiction #warrior cats #hmmm... #waywardsalt's warrior cats #yeahhhh #anyways a few things abt this related specifically to whats in here #emberstar and wolfstar are not in any kind of relationship theyre just longtime friends n rivals tho at some point wolfstar had a crush #emberstar is meant to be aro/ace and otherwise has no interest in taking a mate at all but she loves her clanmates #glowflame and orangeclaw are mates and sunscorch and moonwhisper are mates idk if flarelight will be in a relationship #the map for this fic (clan territories and camp layouts and moon cavern/gathering spot) is based on a minecraft world i have its v helpful #i have a full alliances list for the living cats at the very beginning of the story but it lacks cats outside the clan bc uhhhh i dont #think there are too many that are present that early and also loners arent usually a big thing its mostly cats passing through #emberstar is mostly dark ginger and black flarelight is mostly just dark ginger sunscorch is gold/yellow and glowflame is yellow and white #all four of them have ice blue eyes and black ear tips i am getting funky with cat designs i do not care. they have teh most unique designs #calling med cats healers bc of. reasons you may know why. and she cats are mollies bc like. why not #emberstar is a tripod cat she is missing a foreleg and she is the primary primary protag she is the most frequent pov #so i have thought a lot abt how she would need to be trained and assessed differently and what she cannot do and how she does warrior dutie #ember flare sun and glow all grew up together but separated into the different clans for Reasons ember stayed in shadeclan bc she was deput #it was also for those Reasons but dw abt it. sunscorch is gay glowflame is bi flarelight is a lesbian #gorsestar and froststar (the previous shadeclan leaders emberstar thinks of) were both mollies and were mates. frost mentored emberstar #its a little bit of nepotism but ember was frost's like. third deputy so its whatever. i picked acornfall as deputy as a placeholder #and bc i couldnt fucking remember anyone else except nobodies in shadeclan but now that i think about it he's actually a good choice #aaaand emberstar is my oldest warrior cats rp character shes been with me a long time- second oldest is sunscorch #emberstar began as emberheart and sunscorch was an edgy murder rogue named sun i roleplayed them in a specific mc server

[welcometohale]

Local suspected autistic failing class about analyzing hidden meanings behind the facades of humans, is somehow shocked by this.

#no but really what the fuck #suspected autism aside #I genuinely can’t tell if I’m being lied to #my sister gaslights the fuck out of me and it works every goddamn time #‘so this painting may look like a pretty landscape but it’s actually a commentary on racism in Canada’ #HUH #I hate this class #I’m doing a presentation on markiplier tho #good thing we support hyperfixations here #hale vents

[lucyvaleheart]

.

#i need to stop doing this. but i just. i..... #.....I'll probably fall asleep minutes after i post this #so if you message me about it and i don't reply that's why #but i just #............fuck I'm trying so hard #it doesn't seem to matter #no matter how much i get done or accomplish it's never enough I'm always ten steps behind where i need to be to even reach net zero #not even the point of making progress. the point where i can so much as rest #I'm so tired. im so tired. nothing i think of works nothing i try is ever the right thing #i know from the outside looking in i may not seem like a burden i may even seem like an uplifting person to be around #but I'm a burden. #i am. I'm not self deprecating. it's a fact. it's just a fact. #as i am now i am a resource sink and i need too much help and i can't really be independent #and yet i don't really have a choice #so at present whoever i live with (currently my husband) gets stuck taking care of me because i just fall short in so many ways #.....i can't do anything right #nothing i do seems to matter. i can't.... i can't do anything #fuck #I'm just repeating myself I'm almost certain but #...............why can't i have a decent idea for once #all this confidence and i just keep fucking up anyway #worked so hard on being confident in myself that i don't match up to my own expectations now #i #.............fuck #everything hurts so badly #I'm so tired #....I'm so tired #....................if anyone happens to live in Minnesota and wants to just. come shoot me dead hit me up #im too much of a coward to do it myself