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youvebeenlivingfictional · 3 years

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I’ll Be Home for Christmas

Pairing: Marcus Pike x Reader Rating: T Warnings: Cursing; Fluff Notes: I woke up in a cozy mood, so... I wrote this this morning ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ That being said, there are probably typos, sorry about that. Not beta-read. But, husband and dad Marcus! Summary: Apparently thieves couldn’t wait until after Christmas to raise some hell and drag your husband back to the office.

You vaguely remembered it - the ring of Marcus’ cell from his bedside table, the rustle of the covers being pushed aside, the kiss he pressed to your forehead and the mumbled promise to be back as soon as possible. You didn’t really register it for a while, and by the time you had, you were alone in bed, your chest panging with disappointment and unease. Glancing at the clock, you saw that it was nearly eight. The kids would be coming down the hall soon, excited to get you up and to see what Santa brought them, and asking you where Daddy was. Daddy was at work. Apparently thieves couldn’t wait until after Christmas to raise some hell and drag your husband back to the office.

Your two daughters, Laura and Evelyn, ran into the room a few minutes later, squealing and jumping on the bed. You grinned, sitting up and gathering them into your arms. “Where’s dad?” Your eldest, Laura asked as she looked around. “He had work, sweet pea,” You said gently, “But he’ll be back soon-- You and Evie go brush your teeth, okay? I’ll make some cocoa.” The girls scrambled off of the bed as Evelyn squealed, “Race you to the bathroom!” “Careful, girls!” You called after them, laughing. At the ages of 6 and 4, they’d be running at full steam all day. You sighed, pushing yourself out of bed and picking up your robe. You weren’t sure exactly what time Marcus had left; you weren’t sure how long he’d be. You hesitated before you picked up your phone, dialing his number and raising your phone to your ear as you headed into the kitchen. “Hello?” “Hey,” You greeted, tucking your phone between your shoulder and ear as you began to get things together for cocoa. “Hi, honey-- Give me a second,” Marcus said gently. You could hear him excusing himself from a few people. You waited patiently, setting the pot on the stove. “Are the girls up?” He asked. “Only just.” “Damnit,” He sighed, “I’m sorry.” “What’s going on, anyway?” “It’s a break in the Gardner case - a Rembrandt.” Your eyes widened a bit. That was a big one - the Gardner Museum Heist was one of the biggest art heists in recent history. “Shit,” You said quietly. “I know. I… I won’t be home any time soon,” Marcus’ voice was muffled; you could practically picture him scrubbing his hand over his face. And while that news was its own disappointment, you were more filled with worry than upset. “Be careful,” You pleaded quietly. “I will be, honey, don’t worry about me.” That was a stupid thing for him to say, but he was stressed, and it was Christmas, so you decided to wait until tomorrow to admonish him. You glanced down the hall. “I’m gonna make some cocoa for the girls and… And we’ll start opening some stuff-- But I’ll save a few so you can open them with us when you get home,” You promised. You heard him sigh heavily. You knew he felt guilty for not being there. “It’s okay, baby,” You soothed gently, heading into the living room to hide a few gifts, “There’ll be other Christmases, and the girls will understand. Just… Come home in one piece.” “Will there be cocoa?” “There will always be cocoa,” You smiled at his teasing, “I love you.” “I love you, too, honey.” “Oh, and Marcus?” “Yeah?” “If you’re looking for any last-minute gifts, that Rembrandt would look great over the mantle.”

The girls rushed Marcus when he got home that evening. He dropped his bag at the door and crouched down to catch hold of them. You smiled, watching as he pecked their cheeks and gathered them close. He was quiet as they talked over one another, telling him everything that Santa brought them. You stepped into the living room, pulling the other gifts from their hiding places and placing them under the tree. “Oh, girls!” You called out, “It looks like Santa stopped by again!” There were squeals, and Laura and Evie barreled down the hall with the same speed they’d rushed Marcus. You chuckled. “Alright, hang on, wait for dad,” You told them. They hovered around the tree, buzzing with excitement at the sight of the additional presents. You headed down the hall, watching Marcus shrug out of his coat. “You alright?” You asked softly. He nodded, but you could see the tiredness in his face. “C’mere,” He murmured, pulling you close. You smiled, leaning up into him and wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders. He pressed his face into your hair, taking a deep breath. “I missed you,” He sighed, “I missed all of you, all day.” “You’re home now,” You rubbed your hand between his shoulder blades. He pulled away, cupping your cheek and leaning in for a kiss. You leaned into his chest, giving his plush lower lip a gentle suck. “Moooooom!” You heard from the other room. You sighed, leaning away. “You should go unwrap some presents with the girls before they combust.” “You, too,” Marcus urged, sliding your hands to your hips and giving them a squeeze. “Mm, can’t. I’ve got some cocoa to make, mister,” You winked.

“They asleep?” You asked, looking up as Marcus drifted into the living room. You’d cleaned up the wrapping paper from the leftover gifts, and cleared away the mugs of cocoa and plates from dessert before turning on some Christmas music. Having been absent for most of the day, Marcus had insisted on helping the girls get ready for bed to give you a break. “Out like a light,” He nodded, lowering himself onto the couch beside you. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and you leaned into him, resting your hand on his knee. “I’m sorry about this morning,” He said quietly. “I understand,” You reassured him, looking up at him, “And you got to come home and open some gifts with us. It was still a good day.” Marcus rubbed his hand over your shoulder gently, shaking his head. “How the hell did I get so lucky?” He asked. You rolled your eyes, smiling a little. “The way I see it, we’re both lucky. We’re together, we’re safe… We’ve got two amazing children that run us ragged 365 days a year…” Marcus chuckled. “Speaking of being run ragged, you have had a long day,” He said, getting up off of the couch and holding his hands out to you, “Come on, Mrs. Pike.” You grinned as he called you that. You took hold of his hands, letting him pull you up and giggling as he pulled you into his chest and curled an arm around your waist. He began swaying the two of you back and forth gently, humming to the music playing. You rested your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes.

“Merry Christmas, Mrs. Pike,” He murmured.

“Merry Christmas, Marcus.”

#I'll Be Home for Christmas #Marcus Pike #Marcus Pike x Reader #Marcus Pike x You #Marcus Pike/Reader #Marcus Pike/You

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blackacre13 · 3 years

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Loubbie Linking hands during sex and kissing with their last dying breath plzzz

HAND HOLDING: 13. Linking hands together during sex

A tipsy Debbie stumbled into their apartment, giggling as she pulled Lou in behind her pressing the blonde’s hands against her waist.

Lou smiled down at her, briefly kissing her with gentle lips as she tugged the brunette’s waist, sliding her hands up and down, teasing at Debbie’s chest and hips.

“Kiss me,” Debbie whispered, moving her arms around Lou’s neck to pull her ever closer.

“I think I just did, sweetheart,” Lou smirked, kissing her gently again, keeping it soft.

“No,” Debbie breathed, fingers playing with Lou’s blonde strands. “Really kiss me.”

Lou’s breath hitched as she leaned in closer, her lips hesitating in front of Debbie’s, seeking permission, testing the waters, as she removed a lock of hair from Debbie’s forehead, her hands digging into Debbie’s hips as Debbie grabbed the back of her neck, the two leaning into each other, lips locking softly once more and then suddenly, gasping for each other. Hungry and eager, teeth pulling at lips, tongues finding each other.

“Lou,” Debbie panted, pulling back for a moment.

“Mm?” Lou breathed, her forehead pressing against Debbie’s.

“Make love to me.”

KISSES: 50. Kisses with their last dying breath

“I never thought...” Debbie breathed out slowly.

“I know,” Lou smiled sadly. “It’s not your fault.”

“Of course it is,” Debbie spoke bitterly. “It shouldn’t have ended like this.”

“It’s always been a risk,” Lou laughed, but it was more than strained, followed by a wheeze. “This is what happens to criminals, love.”

“Not like this,” Debbie muttered. “I wanted more.”

“Honey, you ran the biggest jewelry heist buyout the world has ever seen. Robbed ten casinos blind. Sold countless art and--”

“More time with you,” Debbie finished, tears starting to roll free.

HAND HOLDING: 13. Linking hands together during sex (cont.)

“Debs,” Lou whispered.

“I want you to feel me,” Debbie breathed, moving Lou’s hands towards the zipper of her pants. “All of me. Please.”

“Debs,” Lou repeated, her heart melting. They had kissed. Made out. Even fucked. But it had never been gentle. Never passionate. Never truly feeling the other one. Listening to their needs. Worshipping their body.

It had been a quick fix. Itching a scratch. Chasing lust. Seeking pleasure. But this was different. It was something that would change them and how they moved around each other.

“Please,” Debbie whispered, her voice sounding like a prayer. Lou licked her lips in anticipation as the brunette took the blonde’s hand and slid it underneath denim and past lace, wetness greeting her fingers that made her moan. “Feel what you do to me, baby.”

“Fuck, Debs,” Lou groaned, sliding her fingers across Debbie’s slit teasingly, savoring how wet and hot Debbie was for her just with a few kisses and some teasing words.

Lou backed Debbie slowly towards their poker table, lifting Debbie’s hips and planting her on the ledge, her other hand teasing at Debbie’s covered thighs, one finger testing the waters and slipping into Debbie, still teasing.

Debbie hissed softly, throwing her head back slightly as Lou started to pump into her ridiculously slow.

“You know,” Debbie whispered, her voice strained. “There are so many nights when I see you in one of those damn vests...your tits just out there...and those ties. I just...want you to slide one off and tie my hands...have your way with me.”

“Fucking hell, honey,” Lou breathed; she licked into Debbie’s mouth, still pumping her finger inside, adding a second one as she pushed Debbie further back onto the table, chips and cards scattering as Debbie’s back hit them. “What else?” Lou asked, releasing Debbie from their kiss as the brunette caught her breath.

“Want you to feel all of me,” Debbie moaned. “How wet you make me. Want those pants off so I can feel you against me. Want to feel how wet you get for me.”

“Bed. Now,” Lou demanded, scooping Debbie up and pulling her flesh against her, Debbie’s legs hooking around Lou’s hips as she bit and sucked at Lou’s neck as the blonde carried her into her bedroom, sitting her gently on the edge of the bed and laying her back before standing up.

Debbie pouted at the blonde as she stood and Lou threw her a wink.

“Just trying to help you with that fantasy,” Lou winked, slipping off her suit jacket and tossing it on the ground. She shimmied forward, showing off her cleavage with a smirk before unbuttoning her vest, the tie still lingering against her naked chest.

The blonde rolled her leather pants down, stepping out of them, pushing down boy shorts quickly behind them before locking eyes with Debbie and swiping a finger through her folds before sucking it into her mouth, not breaking eye contact.

“Lou,” Debbie groaned as Lou hesitated by the bed.

The blonde crawled forward, sliding down Debbie’s jeans and letting them fall, crawling back up to pull at her lacy thong with her teeth, tugging them down her thighs, her hands clawing at Debbie’s breasts underneath the cups of her bra before hastily pushing away the fabric of her bra and shirt in frustration over Debbie’s head.

She forced Debbie’s arms over her head, the brunette confused, until she watched Lou slip the tie from her neck and wrap it expertly in a knot across Debbie’s wrists.

“Need to feel you,” Debbie whispered, wriggling her hips at the woman above her.

“Patience, honey,” Lou murmured, trailing her fingers along Debbie’s outstretched arms, sinking against Debbie, the heat simmering between them as Debbie ground herself up against Lou, Lou grinding back.

“Fuck,” Debbie panted. “I need you...Need you inside me.”

Lou moved herself slightly, sinking onto one of Debbie’s thighs, her wetness spreading against hot skin as Debbie hissed at the contact, Lou herself moaning at the friction.

She started teasingly once more until the brunette started to beg desperately, Lou giving in and thrusting three fingers into her, feeling Debbie quiver against her fingers, panting and moaning Lou’s name as Lou edged her closer and closer.

“Fuck, I’m close, baby. Please. I need. I need--”

“What do you need, love?” Lou asked, not stopping her motions or her grinding as she brought herself closer, the sounds Debbie was making leaving her right on the edge, waiting for her lover.

“I have to touch you,” Debbie spoke softly, surprising Lou. “I need--” she growled in frustration, not knowing how to explain herself, but Lou knew she could read her mind.

“Wait right here,” Lou whispered with a smile, rolling off of Debbie, ignoring the sounds of protest she squeaked. “Worth it, honey. I promise.”

The blonde returned a moment later, leather encasing her hips, a dildo swinging in front of her leaving Debbie licking her lips and moaning at the sight without so much as a touch.

She returned to the bed, leaning over Debbie’s face as the brunette reached out to stroke the length of the shaft, sliding a hand over it slowly, up and down, making the blonde’s hips buck at the sensation as the base of the dildo rubbed her clit slightly. She finished untying the tie, rubbing at Debbie’s wrists.

“Be a good girl for me?” Lou asked, moving Debbie’s arms to her sides.

Debbie nodded vigorously. “Can I touch you?” Debbie whispered.

“Yeah, honey,” Lou smiled. “Exactly why I wanted my hands free for you.”

Debbie’s face scrunched up in confusion as Lou removed her hand from the strap and swung her leg over the bed, waiting over Debbie’s frame.

“Ready?” Lou whispered, the tip of the dildo teasing Debbie’s entrance.

“God, yes,” Debbie groaned, trying to make contact with the strap that was barely touching her.

Lou pushed forward slowly, sinking into the brunette beneath her as Debbie grabbed at her hands, squeezing tight as Lou pulled out slightly before pushing back in, the dildo fully buried inside Debbie as she gasped aloud with a cry.

Lou adjusted their hands, intertwining their fingers, leaving them on her thighs as she continued to push in and out.

Debbie panted, moaning as Lou buried herself inside the brunette, the pressure and friction building up once more as Debbie groaned, Lou’s name and curses stringing together on her tongue louder and deeper.

“Lou?” Debbie panted, squeezing Lou’s fingers tighter.

“Fuck,” Lou groaned as the base hit her clit just right. “Yeah, honey?”

“Don’t let go,” Debbie breathed. “Don’t let go of my hands, please.”

“Never,” Lou breathed.

“I love you, Lou. Fuck I--” Debbie’s head fell back and her hands gripped Lou’s painstakingly tight. “I love you.”

“I love you, Debbie,” Lou groaned as she fell over the edge as well, gripping Debbie back, letting herself fall against Debbie’s chest, the two falling back into the pillows.

“Stay here,” Debbie whispered sleepily, Lou still buried inside her, their hands holding each other like their lives depended on it.

KISSES: 50. Kisses with their last dying breath (cont.)

“All the time in the world would never be enough, Debs.” Lou frowned, tears brimming in her own blue eyes. “You’re my everything.”

“I’m not ready,” Debbie breathed.

“I don’t know how this works,” Lou laughed painfully. “But maybe whoever or whatever is out there doesn’t mind that we’ve stolen more than our fair share of millions. Maybe we just get to be happy. Keep each other.”

“Forever?”

“Forever,” Lou agreed, keeping a promise she had no right or idea how to keep. “Maybe Danny will--”

“Lou?”

“Debs?”

They turned to face each other, fingers finding each other on the pavement.

“Kiss me,” the brunette breathed. “Kiss me until...”

“Of course,” Lou smiled. “Of course.”

Lou strained her muscles, trying to ignore the pain, pushing through the fire and needles in her blood, her bloodied hand finding Debbie’s hair, combing through it, hungry lips finding hungry lips, tears mixing together as lips pushed together with desperate pants and sobs. Whispered ‘I love you’s mixed between.

Their foreheads fell together for a moment, a million thoughts share between their eyes. Brown and blue. A silent laugh between them. A soft peck.

“I love you,” they whispered as one. “I love you.”

“Kiss me again,” Lou begged. “’Til it all fades away,”

Their lips found each other, the tears dissipating, passion taking over until time seemed to stop. The world fading away. Except for Debbie. Except for Lou. Only each other.

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mwolf0epsilon · 3 years

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S(SS)B C A M E R (A) (M) (A) N For the alphabet asks?

A toon ask, and of my favourite lil camera creacher no less? You're in for a treat Anon!

S. How stealthy are they?

As an appreciator and connoisseur of the art of film-making and special effects, this little toon may be the ideal size to be a sneak but he's definitely got too much ambition to stay in the backstage. No, when cameraman is out to commit crime he's making it a big event and he's centre-stage. B. Do they have any allergies? Yep, dust allergies. The kind that make him sneeze so hard his laser goes off. It's rather unpleasant and impractical, especially when he's trying to work out the plans for his next big heist.

C. Can they swim well?

He needs floaties because his head is too heavy and sinks. Cameraman tends to avoid deep bodies of water for this very reason. A. What are/were this character’s best subjects in school? Cameraman is an overachiever. He was top of his class from start to finish and his high education should have been a guarantee into becoming a respectable film director. M. What is their favourite dessert? Coloured film. It's a rare treat for a little camera living rough. E. How are they with children? He's...Not all that great with kids honestly. Panics if he has to watch over any because he's not all that sure what they like. Years of focusing on pandering to a more mature and critical audience has left him disconnected from his inner-child. R. What are their hands like?

Two words: Paw pads. Very squishy and dexterous hands with the added bonus of adorableness. N. What do they usually eat for breakfast? A nice fresh roll of 35 mm film, and a cup of hydroquinone, phenidone, and dimezonee blend.

#bendy and the ink machine #batim #bendy crack up comics #Cameraman #ask meme #ask game

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moossings · 6 months

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for my muppet, @7msc, because you deserve the world

#mm: art heist #f1 fanart #f1 art #versainz #mm: young dumb and in love #carlos sainz #max verstappen #3355 #mv33 #cs55 #mv1 #toro rosso #solo quiero intentar hacerte sonreir un poquito #y que tu dia sea menos gris :))#te quiero mil muppet #muppet 🍓

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smallish-giraffe · 3 years

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top 5 leverage scenes

This is so unfair lmao, that show has five whole seasons of good scenes to pick from. Here’s the ones that I remember most, in no particular order.

1. When Eliot says he’ll give the girl his country star persona’s autograph but she says she was just asking for the time. It makes me crack up because he’s not even in costume for the grift, he’s somehow just so unmemorable that he could be totally famous one minute and completely unrecognizable the next.

This applies to every single time they make him famous, by the way - I’m including the baseball episode, the hockey episode and the fighting ring episode in with this.

2. The scene where Parker and Apollo are talking about birds in the vent during the art heist.

3. All of The Rashomon Job but specifically when Parker does everyone’s voices and when Eliot says “I’m going to take this knife and walk around in the dark for a while. Don’t leave.”

4. “Okay so you’re saying it goes ‘holy ground, mm, the BASEMENT, holy ground.’” And from that same episode (I think?? They meet a lot of Irish mobsters), “We all had dreams once, Liam!”

5. Sophie’s MacBeth monologue in the final episode.

Honorable mention to the scene in the first season where Nate and Sophie are dressed up as arguing tourists who got lost at the Port of LA and wandered into a restricted zone because it’s based on something that actually happened to the film crew. (They mention it in the director’s commentary for that episode.)

#ask meme #Leverage #Anonymous

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sonic255656 · 3 years

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(i went back on desktop and added the cut all good)

ok so i may have been unable to think about anything but him since monday evening

it's not MY fault i discovered @sothequeensays ' au like 2 minutes after it started

the rest was totally me though no regrets

also i since i literally just discovered this yesterday please correct me if I mess up a detail about the au

before i go into things i couldn't get down with a flashcard and a mechanical pencil- If yall can't read my cursive, the two lines are "Name: Lei" and "Pronouns: He/Him"

Now, to start off, things I would've put on there if it wasn't a flashcard and a 0.5 mm lead mechanical pencil.

First, his cloak is crimson, I just couldn't be bothered to dig out colored pencils. This has no connection to the Grimm Troupe, it's just my favorite color and I think it looks cool.

Second, details about the sliver by Voice. Lei is fully mute, but he's still very good at communication without a voicebox. Expressing his emotions through body language comes naturally, and he has a large capacity for empathy.

Third, actual details that I just couldn't fit because it's a notecard.

Story: Lei was one of the earlier vessels to emerge. Definitely not one of the first overall, but still quick, and the first of his clutch. From the moment he left his egg, he felt compelled to stay by his unhatched clutchmates. There was no apparent danger, but he felt obligated to protect nonetheless. Only when the other 4 eggs had hatched did he start to roam, but he didnt get far before the White Lady called. Making sure to help as many of his siblings as he could, he ascended from the Abyss.

Jumping ahead (since this is where things get general and that ended up being long), he only explored his own path with his chance at life after his close (as in, close-by, he can't check at a thousand to one ratio) siblings had their own bearings. Once he did, however, he felt drawn to the nail. He had plenty of practice, as he "borrowed" one from the ground to protect his siblings, and something about the energy of combat just felt so right. Although he still checked on his siblings when he could, he set off to learn the art of the Nail and become a Nailmaster.

Wow, that was probably longer than it should have been. Oh well.

Personality: Lei is a kind, patient Vessel, with a strong protective instinct. He puts his siblings aheas of himself, even as the cost of his well-being. Because of this, Lei sometimes needs someone to look after him for a change, to keep him from overworking himself. He tends to enjoy talking to his siblings, since the connection through the Void lets him convey his thoughts without playing a game of charades. Most often he'll talk about them, asking about their feelings and goals, just to check up on them and see if they're okay.

Extras:

Lei has lots of Big Sibling Energy

Lei is a tall and (relatively) strong Vessel (very good for picking up troublemaking siblings when they carry out a cookie jar heist for the 3rd time this month)

Lei gives self-defense tips to every one of his siblings that will listen

Lei is a very polite boye. he drinks Respect Women Juice with his flintstones gummy vitamins

ok that's it just a few extras because i had many thoughts

i may have listened to too much of the Mega Man Zero OST while thinking of details because i contemplated giving him a combination of the Triple Rod from MMZ1 and the Chain Rod from MMZ2. i ultimately decided against it, halfway because it just seems excessive, and halfway because I didn't want to have to draw it.

also I originally wanted to go with "pure baby boye with way too much skill" but then i went "nah what would combat prowess go well with..." then i recieved a rare nice message from my oldest sister and inspiration struck

#hollow knight #hollowknight #hollow knight vessel #hollow knight oc #qmaw #queen mother au

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perfecttimeseleven · 3 years

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https://open.spotify.com/episode/599XTxnDzzcJibnEaEjPdb?si=e9ce5c51fbdb474e

PERFECT TIMES ELEVEN EP. 7 TRANSCRIPT

ACT TWO SCENE ONE Lights rise on a table and two chairs in an otherwise empty-seeming room. THIEF #1 and THIEF #2 are seated at the table, examining a laptop. They’re both young; even younger than REMINGTON, JAY, and DAISY (think 13 or 14.) They’re unassuming — cute little kids, even — dressed in all black. THIEF #2 (bored) When you said “surprise job for our two-month anniversary”, I thought we’d like, I don’t know, kiss with tongue. THIEF #1 Yeah, but this is just as good. THIEF #2 Do you care about kissing with tongue at all? THIEF #1 Babe, of course I do. I just think -- THIEF #2 It’s just heist after heist all the time. The only thing you don’t seem to care about stealing is my heart. THIEF #1 Babe, it’s what we do. THIEF #2 Besides, it’s a crap job. Robbing a supermarket? A supermarket? That’s the most boring junk I’ve ever heard. THIEF #1 Don’t you trust me? THIEF 2 You’re a bank robber. THIEF 1 You’re a bank robber. THIEF 2 Okay, that’s fair. I just…will this be worth it at all? I know you have trouble grasping the fact that we’re now fricking loaded. We’re not little please-sir orphans snatching heads of lettuce from farmer’s markets anymore. We’ve stepped up our game. What’s so special about this supermarket? THIEF #1 Trust me. This will be an easy, fun night out. What’s not special about it? THIEF #2 Why are we wasting our time? We could be preparing for the Minecraft job. Or kissing with tongue. And…and, and, and…you’re not even taking the proper precautions. I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to get caught robbing a stupid supermarket, of all things. Like imagine it! You get cornered in the...I don’t know, produce aisle or something stupid like that and the headlines are all “two kids got caught stealing from the Shoprite off the highway” — who wants that? (THIEF #1 stands up. 11. Super Supermarket Heist.) THIEF #1 (pointing at the laptop screen) LOOK. ALL RIGHT, WE’VE GOT OUR TARGET HERE. THIS LOCAL SUPERMARKET. YOU KNOW YOUR JOB, YOUR INSTRUCTION — THIEF #2 (standing up) I THINK WE NEED SOME MORE DISCUSSION. THIEF #1 IT’S A QUAINT UNPOPULATED SPOT WE KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT, AND THAT’S NOT A LOT! THIEF #2 WHERE’S THE FUN? WHY NOT GO BIGGER AND PULL OUT ALL THE STOPS THIEF #1 AND PULL THE TRIGGER? THIEF #2 Fine. I guess you have a point. I’ll do it. But you better watch a sweet, romantic movie with me later. THIEF #1 Is it — THIEF #2 Cats 2019. I know you hate it. THIEF #1 Fine. THIEF #1 YEAH, WE’RE GONNA MAKE YOU STOP AND SHOP NOW PUT YOUR HANDS ON TOP OF YOUR HEAD OR YOU’RE DEAD OH YEAH, THAT’S WHAT WE SAID GRAB THE CASH, THEN DASH OUT THE BACK AROUND THE TRASH THIEF #2 WILL THAT WORK? THIEF #1 (exasperated) JESUS CHRIST! THIEF #1/THIEF #2 A SUPER SUPERMARKET HEIST! WE’RE GONNA MAKE YOU STOP AND SHOP NOW PUT YOUR HANDS ON TOP OF YOUR HEAD OR YOU’RE DEAD OH YEAH, THAT’S WHAT WE SAID! SIT TIGHT OR WE’LL FIGHT OH, THIS AIN’T THE NIGHT TO BE STUCK UNSUPERVISED IN A SUPER SUPERMARKET HEIST! THIEF #2 YOU KEEP ON SAYING THIS’LL BE A CAKEWALK. ALL OF THIS “NOTHING MUCH AT STAKE” TALK! HOW CAN YOU KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT? WE NEED TO PREPARE FOR ANY THREAT THIEF #1 I’VE GOT INSIDER INFO FROM MY SOURCE. I TRUST HER. SECURITY TONIGHT WILL BE LACKLUSTER. RIGHT NOW, WE WILL JUST SIT TIGHT. AT EIGHT O’CLOCK, WE’LL SHOP RITE! THIEF #1/THIEF #2 WE’RE GONNA MAKE YOU STOP AND SHOP THIEF #1 AND NOT A SINGLE COP WILL SEE, TRUST ME, THIEF #1/THIEF #2 IT’LL BE EASY! GRAB THE CASH, THEN DASH IN AND OUT IN A FLASH! CATCH THEM BY SURPRISE! A SUPER SUPERMARKET HEIST. WE’RE GONNA MAKE YOU STOP AND SHOP NOW PUT YOUR HANDS ON TOP OF YOUR HEAD OR YOU’RE DEAD OH YEAH, THAT’S WHAT WE SAID! SIT TIGHT OR WE’LL FIGHT OH, THIS AIN’T THE NIGHT TO BE STUCK UNSUPERVISED IN A SUPER SUPERMARKET HEIST! THIEF #2 I just…this is so out of nowhere. We usually plan these together. THIEF #1 I wanted to surprise you. You’ve been so stressed. I didn’t want to add the stress of planning a fun anniversary outing on top of that. THIEF #1 I KNOW

THINGS HAVE BEEN ROUGH — THIEF #2 YOU’RE NOT AN OPEN BOOK. THIEF #1 BUT THAT’S EXACTLY WHY WE CAN’T GIVE UP HOPE AND — THIEF #2 LOOK. WE’VE GONE DOWNHILL. ADMIT IT. IT SURE SHOWS! BANKS WERE OUR TRADE, NOT TRADER JOE’S! THIEF #1 SURE, WE’VE DONE MUCH COOLER JOBS WITHOUT MUCH CONSEQUENCE BUT A SMALL VICTORY WILL BOOST OUR CONFIDENCE! THIEF #2 DOING IT TOGETHER IS WHAT MATTERS MOST TO ME ART MUSEUM OR BANK OR MALL OR…I GUESS GROCERY THIEF #1 Yeah? THIEF #2 Yeah! THIEF #1/THIEF #2 SUPER SUPERMARKET, SUPER SUPERMARKET, SUPER SUPERMARKET, SUPER SUPERMARKET, SUPER SUPERMARKET, SUPER SUPERMARKET, SUPERMARKET HEIST! YEAH, YOU’LL STOP AND SHOP NOW PUT YOUR HANDS ON TOP OF YOUR HEAD OR YOU’RE DEAD OH YEAH, THAT’S WHAT WE SAID! SIT TIGHT OR WE’LL FIGHT OH, THIS AIN’T THE NIGHT TO BE STUCK UNSUPERVISED IN A SUPER SUPERMARKET HEIST! WE’RE GONNA MAKE YOU STOP AND SHOP NOW PUT YOUR HANDS ON TOP OF YOUR HEAD OR YOU’RE DEAD OH YEAH, THAT’S WHAT WE SAID! SIT TIGHT OR WE’LL FIGHT OH, THIS AIN’T THE NIGHT TO BE STUCK UNSUPERVISED IN A SUPERMARKET WE’RE ARMED AND DISGUISED IT’S A SUPERMARKET GROSSLY OVERPRICED IT’S A SUPER SUPERMARKET HEIST! (THIEF #1 and THIEF #2 exit.)

ACT TWO

SCENE TWO

The lights rise on REMINGTON and HP. REMINGTON is sitting next to a Dumpster in the back alley behind a restaurant. HP is squatting beside her, picking at a piece of crumpled paper and tossing its remnants into a small trash can that he hugs with one arm. REMINGTON is wearing floral shorts and a tattered, half-tucked in Domino’s employee shirt. HP is still in his original outfit, although he’s ditched the rainbow scarf and his jacket. Those can be seen laying on the other side of the Dumpster, next to the wall in a pile of other fabrics that seem to comprise a makeshift bed. The two kids have a half-empty and surprisingly fresh-looking Domino’s pizza box in front of them. REMINGTON is snacking on one of the last pieces. REMINGTON Okay. I’ve been doin’ some big brain thinking. Superhero names. HP (turning his head sharply from the paper) Hm? REMINGTON Let’s do a little word association, okay? Test the power, the wow-factor that these names hold. Ready? HP Mmkay. I like to word associate. REMINGTON What comes to mind when you hear the word...Flambé? (HP pauses, looking up contemplatively, before turning his head back to REMINGTON.) HP Shrimp? REMINGTON Nooo, like…I don’t know. (takes a bite of the pizza) Doesn’t it sound fancy? Like ain’t it French or something? (receives no reaction from HP) Okay. Okay. How about...the Remedy? HP (squints a little in confusion) What? Like medicines? Medicines and pills and little maggots in bowls? REMINGTON Like, my name is Remington, but there’s not much you can do with Remy or Remington that isn’t Ratatouille — (sees HP’s blank face, gives up) I’ll think of more names. (takes another bite of her pizza) Mm. Domino’s could beat up Papa John in a fight. (HP finishes tearing up the piece of paper and jumps to his feet.) HP Your break is almost over. You need to get back to work. REMINGTON No. The voices hurt. I’m lazy! HP One fire by the end of the day. That is our rule. REMINGTON (reluctantly dropping his half-finished slice in the pizza box) One spark. HP No, one fire. You’ve passed the spark level. (HP offers REMINGTON his hands, which REMINGTON takes. HP effortlessly pulls REMINGTON to her feet.) HP C’mon! It’s easy! (REMINGTON reluctantly unclasps her bracelet and tosses it aside. 12. Perfect Times Eleven.) HP NOW DEEP DOWN, THERE’S A FIRE GROWING STRONG JUST LET THEM HELP YOU SET IT FREE, REMINGTON LONG! IMMERSE YOURSELF IN VOICES, AIM THEIR ENERGY AT ONE SPOT! CAN YOU FEEL YOUR INSIDES SORTA GETTING HOT? REMINGTON Yeah, but it doesn’t feel healthy... HP ONCE YOUR BRAIN WIDENS, GIVE IN TO PRIMAL DRIVES, YOU’LL GAIN ENERGY FROM ALL YOUR PAST LIVES NOT JUST THE ONES YOU HEAR SINGING! REMINGTON What do you mean? HP WHETHER ANIMAL OR HUMAN, THEY WILL BE BRINGING YOU ENERGY! AND THAT’S THE KEY! IT SWELLS UP IN YOUR BRAIN! LET IT PLUMMET DOWN LIKE RAIN ONTO YOUR GOAL HP/REMINGTON THIS ENERGY IN YOU AND ME, ALL OF IT COMES FROM THE MOMENT WE BECOME ONE WITH THE SOUL AND OUR SOULS HAVE BEEN PERFECT TIMES ELEVEN REMINGTON WHICH MAKES US NOW GODS AMONG MEN HP WE COULD BURN AWAY ALL LIFE AND CREATE THE WORLD AGAIN REMINGTON THAT’S A LITTLE EXTREME, BUT SURE, I SUPPOSE. AT LEAST ONCE I'M TRAINED, WE CAN LEAVE THIS TENT BEHIND A DOMINO’S! HP/REMINGTON PERFECT TIMES ELEVEN, A UNIVERSAL LOTTERY WIN! NATURALLY MORE DISPOSED TO FREE THE ENERGY WITHIN! TIME AND SPACE WILL JUMBLE AND CRUMBLE AT MY HAND I’M A GLITCH IN THE MATRIX WITH REALITY AT MY COMMAND! HP STARTING LITTLE FIRES IS THE EASIEST TO MASTER! AFTERWARDS, YOU’LL LEARN TELEKINESIS FASTER TO SET A FIRE, GIVE YOUR SOUL’S ENERGY A TOSS! SCOOP UP A BIT OF THAT TIME AND SPACEY SAUCE THROW IT OUT OF YOURSELF AND JUST LET IT ALL GO THE HUGE AMOUNT OF ENERGY WILL SET SHIT AGLOW AND AFTER YOU CAN GET FUN LITTLE FIRES TO START, MASTERING THE REST OF IT’S THE EASIER PART HP/REMINGTON ‘CAUSE ENERGY IS THE KEY! IT SWELLS UP IN YOUR BRAIN! LET IT PLUMMET DOWN LIKE RAIN ONTO YOUR GOAL THIS ENERGY IN YOU AND ME, ALL OF IT COMES FROM THE MOMENT WE

BECOME ONE WITH THE SOUL AND OUR SOULS HAVE BEEN PERFECT TIMES ELEVEN, THE LUCK OF THE DRAW REMINGTON IS BEING A REALLY GREAT TEACHER ONE OF YOUR POWERS? ‘CAUSE I AM IN AWE. HP WELL, TEACHING YOU’S AS FUN AS MAKING ANIMALS COMBUST! REMINGTON THANK YOU…THAT’S A COMPLIMENT, I TRUST? HP/REMINGTON PERFECT TIMES ELEVEN, A UNIVERSAL LOTTERY WIN! NATURALLY MORE DISPOSED TO FREE THE ENERGY WITHIN! TIME AND SPACE WILL JUMBLE AND CRUMBLE AT MY HAND I’M A GLITCH IN THE MATRIX WITH REALITY AT MY COMMAND! HP Now, concentrate! Feel it build up inside you until every cell of your body feels like it’s screaming! REMINGTON Ahhhh! This shit hurts! HP And let it go! (REMINGTON propels her hands forward in one strenuous motion. There’s a whooshing noise and the inside of the trash can is now impressively aflame.) HP That’s it! REMINGTON That was my best one so far! HP/REMINGTON WE’RE PERFECT TIMES ELEVEN! A ONCE-IN-A-BLUE-MOON CHANCE, WE'RE EXISTENT AND ALIVE AGAINST ALL CIRCUMSTANCE! HP IT’S GREAT TO BE BETTER THAN HUMAN! REMINGTON EH. IT’S OKAY. IT’S GREAT TO LIVE WITH YOU IN THIS ABANDONED ALLEYWAY! HP/REMINGTON PERFECT TIMES ELEVEN, A UNIVERSAL LOTTERY WIN! NATURALLY MORE DISPOSED TO FREE THE ENERGY WITHIN! TIME AND SPACE WILL JUMBLE AND CRUMBLE AT MY HAND I’M A GLITCH IN THE MATRIX WITH REALITY AT MY COMMAND! (REMINGTON, perhaps spurred by the vigor of the musical number, is ready to go apeshit with the fire. She concentrates on the pizza box.) REMINGTON’S VOICES AHH! (She manages to set the pizza box on fire.) HP Yes! Nice! REMINGTON’S VOICES AHH! (REMINGTON manages to start a fire from somewhere inside the Domino’s — we can see a faint flicker through the window.) HP You’re doing so good! REMINGTON’S VOICES AHH! (REMINGTON sets all of the nearby Dumpster’s contents on fire. Spectacular!) HP Fantastic! (REMINGTON victoriously embraces HP, who attempts to spin her around. REMINGTON then takes HP’s hand. They skip around a little/dance giddily amid the blaze.) HP/REMINGTON PERFECT TIMES ELEVEN, A UNIVERSAL LOTTERY WIN! NATURALLY MORE DISPOSED TO FREE THE ENERGY WITHIN! TIME AND SPACE WILL JUMBLE AND CRUMBLE AT MY HAND I’M A GLITCH IN THE MATRIX WITH THE WORLD AT MY COMMAND! (pausing in a triumphant pose center stage) PERFECT TIMES ELEVEN PERFECT TIMES ELEVEN PERFECT TIMES ELEVEN! (REMINGTON and HP freeze in their triumphant pose. Somewhere behind them, a burning piece of cardboard unceremoniously falls out of the Dumpster. Blackout.)

#transcript #episode 7

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mirrigold · 5 years

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This might just be my favourite from this excellent author

Wicked Games by Aimee Nicole Walker

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This might just be my favourite Aimee Nicole Walker book ever.

When I first started my journalism career, I had a G4 Mac and one of the games on it was Where In The World Is Carmen Santiago.

I loved everything about this book, but the nods to that classic adventure game might just have sealed the deal.

Heist stories are tough to pull off…

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#action adventure #art conservator #art thief #emotionally #ex-SAS #great secondary characters #heist #Humour #MM #steamy

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lovevalley45 · 3 years

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"gore on canvas" thoughts pt. 2

"enough woman want you dead that i have to be specific?"

OH HE'S SAFIYAH'S SISTER?

mary giving ryan a glamover is. so good

also ryan looks GOOD

LUKE

wow we love the waynes and the hamiltons singlehandedly causing climate change

ooh gay

sophie: i hope he's not gonna be drama

ryan: FIX UR GAYDAR

ART HEIST ART HEIST ART HEIST

"with,,, you know,,, products" PLEASE

hiding the batsuit with the fucking tampons pLEASE

LOOK AT THAT STUPID OUTFIT THOUGH JKGJKDG

ryan plz be careful

fskjkgdg he be hustling

mm never trust a fucking crow

acab

all cops are bastards since the cw is too coward to say it and the crows effectively are gotham's cops

oh EVAN was wolf spider

u know what i'm proud of her

how can safiyah erase memories though

u love to see it

"burn it all down girl" hell yeah

YOU CAN'T CHANGE IT FROM THE INSIDE WHEN IT IS A SYSTEMIC ISSUE LIKE I ADMIRE UR EFFORT BUT

"spandex is no match for an oncoming suv" u know what she's right AND once again it don't look as good

oh this can't be good

how bad is it getting

REAL BAD FOLKS

OH OCEAN HAS THE PAINTING

#alli watches shit #batwoman spoilers

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typingtess · 4 years

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NCIS: Los Angeles Season Eleven Rewatch: “Provenance”

The basics: NCIS tracks a famous stolen painting before it can be used as currency by terrorists.

Written by: Jordana Lewis Jaffe wrote or co-wrote wrote or co-wrote "Honor", "Patriot Acts", "Dead Body Politic", "Paper Soldiers", "Unwritten Rule", "Big Brother", "Iron Curtain Rising", "Exposure", "Savior Faire", "Beacon", "Defectors", "Exchange Rate", "Black Market", "Payback", "Battle Scars", "Mountebank", "Vendetta", "Where Everybody Knows Your Name", "Pro Se" "Heist" and "Born to Run"

Directed by: Lily Mariye directed "Liabilities", "The Prince" and "Born to Run" (written by Jordana Lewis Jaffe). Also appeared as Shirley Hidoko, Harley’s mother-in-law at the end of "Superhuman".

Guest stars of note: Moon Bloodgood as Katherine Casillas, Joanna Sotomura as Christina Ng, Cerina Vincent as Lucy Garcia, Luis Carazo as Luis Garcia, Miki Ishikawa as Jean Chu, Nicky Endres as Kim and Mandy Levin as LAPD Detective Claire Taylor. Dawn Noel is back as LAPD Officer Jessica Cole from “One More Chance” in season five while Joe Thornton Jr. returns as Officer Glen Northam from “Hot Water” in season eight.

Our heroes: Enter the art world where Sam makes a friend.

What important things did we learn about:

Callen: Assumed Katherine was an insurance agent and not the insurance company. Sam: Assumed Katherine didn’t like to get her hands dirty and was surprised she did. Kensi: Looks the part of an art buyer. Deeks: Hated by LAPD for his long hair and for not shaving. Eric: Not around. Nell: Thinks today’s case is cool. Hetty: Obsessed with the theft of The Cube, a $40 million painting.

What not so important things did we learn about:

Callen: Riding shotgun with Deeks today. Sam: Not big on art. Kensi: Loves Nell like a sister. Deeks: Doesn’t remove his wife’s lipstick on his cheek, just rubs it in. Eric: May have a horn according to Callen Nell: Not interested in tech neck, text neck or a horn. Hetty: Her obsession with the theft of The Cube is disappointing to Callen.

Who's down with OTP: Deeks thinks Kensi is still a smoke show in her silly, society outfit and Kensi loves him for it.

Who's down with BrOTP: All is well in with the senior agents.

Any pressing need for a young FBI Agent: Katherine provided all the intel/backup the team needed.

Who is running the team this week? Nell. Hetty was interested in the stolen art but that’s where her involvement in the case ended.

Fashion review: Teal tee-shirt for Callen, long-sleeve black tee (no henley) for Sam. Kensi starts and ends the episode in a long-sleeve white button-up blouse with grey squares and two pockets. Later in the episode she wears a black short dress with football player sized shoulder pads and a train. The shoulder pads have gold stripes and feathers. She also wears a pair of bright red booties. A long-sleeve cobalt blue-tee for Deeks. Nell is wearing a red/brown/orange red plaid jumper with a burnt orange short sleeve blouse underneath. The blouse has ruffles at the end of the short sleeves and should be taken to the burn room after the episode for disposal.

Music: None.

Any notable cut scene: None.

Quote: Kim: “I'm Kim.” Kensi: “I'm Keith.” Kim: “Do you like what you see?” Kensi: “ I don't know. Tell me what I'm looking at.” Kim: “This is a series of Blank canvases. Fascinating. According to the artist, the pieces are about what you don't see, what isn't there. What's left unsaid. The pieces pick up where Rauschenberg, Ryman and Martin left off.” Kensi: “ I get it.” Kim: “You get it. The artist said he was inspired by real-life events between 1998 and 1999.” Kensi: “Mm, like the war in Kosovo.” Kim: “No.” Kensi: “Like the Lewinsky scandal.” Kim: “No. His parents' separation. His mom and dad later reconciled and are apparently really happy now and have won all these ballroom dancing competitions. But the trauma of the moment still left a huge impact on his childhood.” Kensi: “Clearly.”

Anything else: In sunny LA, a black and white LAPD police car pulls up to a nice home in a well-off neighborhood. There are some looky-lous outside the residence, where a loud disagreement is happening inside. When LAPD makes their presence known, the residents answer that all is fine. All is not fine with the neighbors, who called in the noise complaint. The officers want to see if everything is fine but the woman at the door isn’t keen on letting them in – the place is a messing and the cleaning lady isn’t due for another day. That really doesn’t work so LAPD is inside.

Inside, there are feathers all over the living room with some broken glass. The furniture is really modern/odd. The couple try to pass off the feathers/broken glass as nothing but LAPD is pretty sure it is something. The couple claim it was a lovers spat – he bought the wrong orange juice and they’re in couple’s therapy. They start fighting again.

LAPD notices a broken picture frame on the ground with the happy couple and an expensive, stolen painting hanging over their fireplace. The painting, an odd series of dark lines and a circle on a white canvas, isn’t there anymore. The husband, Luis, is a little nervous and tries to leave. LAPD stops him.

Callen and Sam arrive together with Nell tableting in front of them. She has the tablet held up high as she walks. With people hunched over reading their phones/tablets so much, some are growing a horn, according to a study. Nell Jones will not be growing a horn. Callen and Sam point out the scientific inaccuracies of the study. Nell does not want tech neck, text neck or a horn. The tablet beeps – they have a case. Sam thinks Callen could grow a horn. Callen believes Eric already has.

Up in Ops, Nell is excited about a “fun” case. Kensi, who loves Nell like a sister, thinks Nell is acting weird. Nell puts up the piece of art from the fighting couple’s home. The painting is called “The Cube”. Worth $40 million, it has been missing for two-years. Hetty was obsessed with the case, Nell tells the team with glee. Callen’s emotions are more disappointment in Hetty’s latest obsession. Nobody knows who painted it but it was a favorite piece owned by Saddam Hussein. It has been fenced on the black-market.

Nell shows the team the photo of Luis and his wife Lucy Garcia with the painting. A newspaper seen in the photo is dated from six-months earlier. The Garcias had the painting recently. Hetty wasn’t interested in the painting itself, more for who was buying it and what where they selling it for. LAPD’s art crime unit has the case – Deeks is not on good terms with them. Callen and Sam are off to speak to the Garcias. Kensi and Deeks are going to the boat shed to meet with Jean Chu, the last owner of The Cube. Before leaving, Sam asks if the painting is really worth $40 million. Nell tells him no – with the notoriety around the theft and appreciation, it is now worth “way more than that.”

Callen and Sam are allowed on the Garcia’s premises by LAPD but are stopped near the door by LAPD Detective Claire Taylor. Callen starts things off well by calling her lieutenant. Det. Taylor reminds Callen and a distracted Sam that LAPD found the photo of the painting, LAPD has its own department to handle art theft. She blows them off after thanking Callen and Sam for being real champs for taking in Deeks. Sam has been watching a woman standing near a fancy car just across the street. Callen is a little ticked that he had to do all the talking while Sam was looking elsewhere.

In the main room of the boat shed, Kensi and Deeks talk to a disinterested Jean Chu. She can’t pull herself away from her phone. Chu is young – 25 according to her driver’s license and a $40 million painting seems to be a bit much for someone that age. Chu doesn’t answer many questions – directing Kensi and Deeks to the police report about the theft. She starts taking selfies in the boat shed. She doesn’t know the Garcias and isn’t looking to help.

Taylor leaves the residence to find Callen and Sam outside. They explain that the painting being fenced on the black-market makes it a threat to national security. The painting could be traded for a truckload of C4 used to kill innocent civilians. Callen thinks the art theft division would look awfully bad if that was to happen. Annoyed, Taylor thinks Callen and Sam deserve Deeks.

Callen gets a text from Kensi about the non-cooperating Jean Chu. The woman from across the street, Katherine Casillas, walks up to Callen and Sam – she told her client Jean Chu not to speak to anyone. Katherine is quite friendly with the LAPD uniformed officers. She isn’t sure NCIS knows what they’ve gotten into. She’s in insurance – she is as concerned about the return of The Cube as NCIS.

As Katherine takes a look around, Callen and Sam talk to the Garcias. The couple plays dumb – they have no idea how the art wound up on the wall. They don’t remember what they did with the painting either or how long they had it. Callen mentions that lying to a federal agent is a crime. Leaving the Garcias, Sam calls Nell – he wants a full rundown on the Garcias finances. He sees Katherine looking through the Garcias bookcases.

Katherine joins Callen and Sam – she searched the house and found nothing, should they meet up at her office or NCIS’s? Sam would like to search the place himself. Katherine explains they don’t know what to look for – she found a bottle of expensive French perfume, a bottle of expensive French wine and flyer about the sale of a Basquiat painting from an art dealer named Bouchier. The Garcias, according to Katherine, are in business with Bouchier – an auction house. There is a junior staffer at Bouchier, Christina Ng – these are the earmarks of her sales prowess.

Callen, Sam and Katherine join Kensi, Deeks and Jean in the boatshed. In two hours, all Kensi and Deeks learned is that it is time for Deeks to close down his MySpace page for Instagram. When Jean sees Katherine, she starts talking. The painting was stolen – and the only thing stolen – in a five-minute home invasion.

Nobody knew Jean had the painting – it was purchased through a strawman and funded through a private account in the Cayman Islands. The painting was delivered to an apartment in Manhattan owned by a shell company. Jean hired an armored delivery service to move The Cube – they were told they were moving family heirlooms. Two weeks after the painting was delivered, it was stolen. The only people who knew the painting was at the house were Katherine and Jean. Nobody was in the house during the two weeks. And Katherine’s insurance company wasn’t telling anyone – they are on the hook for $40 million. The auction house for the painting was Bouchier.

In a lovely LA park, Katherine introduces Callen and Sam to Christina Ng. Ng won’t discuss Bouchier’s clients until Katherine gives her the OK. The Garcias are bad clients – they look and look and look but never buy. Ng gets excited about The Cube being available for sale at some point. She wants to broker the sale if Jean Chu ever wants to sell.

Nell has info on the Garcias. They have been using their import-export business to move fake pharmaceuticals on the black-market. They likely traded some black-market Oxy for the painting and then the painting for some more drugs. Hetty was right – the sale of the painting was worth her obsession.

Kensi and Deeks interrogate the Garcias. When Kensi and Deeks are done with their end of the interrogation, Lucy starts to cry in a very “Tammy Faye” way, according to Deeks. When Kensi tells her the waterworks won’t work, Lucy stops crying immediately and blames her husband for hanging the painting on the wall. His defense – it was a masterpiece. The fighting continues with a confession by Luis of sleeping with his old assistant but not his new one. With the interview going sideways, Kensi wants confirmation that the couple had The Cube. They had the painting but they sold it through a middleman to someone else. They never met the middleman – everything was done with burn phones.

With Callen and Sam in the main room of the boat shed, Kensi states the Gracias are exhausting. Deeks thinks the make-up sex is probably really great. If the painting has been gone for months, the Garcias are a dead end. Katherine, however, may be able to help.

At a café, Katherine is returning her coffee – not hot enough. Callen and Sam join her. She doesn’t know who the middleman could be but has an idea. Callen and Sam are non-starters on her idea and there will be no talking about Deeks. Kensi, however, has the right look if she wears Katherine’s supplied makeup, manicure and clothes.

Kensi’s outfit is so bad, Deeks is speechless. That’s how Kensi knows it is bad. Deeks tells her she’s stunning in a potato sack or dressed as an “opulent Russian swan who mated with a jellyfish.” Kensi gives him a big kiss, smearing her lipstick all over his cheeks.

At an art gallery, Kensi, undercover with Keith, speaks with a staffer named Kim. They are staring at blank canvases and discussing art. With Katherine handling the earwig, Kensi is looking for something a little “off-market”. Kim promises to make some calls.

Katherine and Sam discuss the pageantry of selling art. Same doesn’t think pageantry, more ridiculous. Katherine talks about the positives of children using art to show their creativity and learn about cultures, of vets using art to help them with PTSD. Sam mentions the $40 million behind the art too.

Nell has info on The Cube she shares with Callen and Deeks. The painting is still in LA and may be on the move. Arriving in Deeks’s red truck, Callen and Deeks see a man leaving his home through the back door. The house is empty, the owner is gone.

Kim returns to Kensi/Keith. Kensi wants to know if any of the art is in LA – she’s not interested in New York. Kim is anti-New York. Kim has a phone number for someone who can broker the deal. Nell runs the number – it is Christina Ng’s. Her cellphone puts her at the house just before Callen and Deeks arrived looking for The Cube. Ng is back in the park where she met with Callen, Sam and Katherine. Callen, Sam, Kensi, Deeks and Katherine are on their way.

Ng is meeting with two men, one who pulls a knife on her. Ng is slashed as the men flee. Callen, Sam and Katherine tend to Ng, Kensi and Deeks chase the bad guys. Kensi is able to pull down one who gets hung up in an outdoor yoga class. Deeks jumps on the other, excited to tackle someone for the first time in the week.

Ng doesn’t know where The Cube is – someone stole it again.

Callen and Sam interrogate Ng in the boat shed. The next buyer for The Cube was Oliver Yang – the man Kensi arrested. He is a real estate mogul. The painting should have been in the house where Callen and Deeks searched but it was gone. The last people to have the painting were the Ajams, a Saudi couple trying to fence it to fund a large purchase of explosives. Callen is amazed Ng tolerated it. Nell finds the Ajams – and several other family members – at the Hotel Palermo in Hollywood. The team is on their way.

In a ballroom, Callen, Sam, Kensi and Deeks witness the sale of the painting. They yell federal agents and we all know what happens then. Lots of fighting, some running and tackling. Callen gets a guy cornered in the ballroom’s kitchen. He pulls a knife while Callen has his gun. Annoyed, Callen knocks the guy out with a cooking pot.

Sam has the best arrest – chasing a tiny woman who is running off with The Cube down a flight of stairs. He picks her up over the stairs and carries her like a bag of groceries back into the ballroom.

The Ajams were buying explosives from a group of Columbians using The Cube as payment. They are all in custody as are Christina Ng and the Garcias. A good day for NCIS. Kensi and Deeks didn’t see what all the fuss about the was about the painting – Nell thought it was exciting. Callen and Sam return the painting to Jean Chu with Katherine present. They learn from Chu that Katherine doesn’t work for the insurance company, she is the insurance company. The $40 million was her money. She was working the case because she cared about Chu getting her painting back and because she still liked getting her hands dirty. Sam was not expecting that.

What head canon can be formed from here: When Sam met Katherine.

Episode number: Episode number 245 overall, season 11’s fifth episode.

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