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fallen-goldfishcracker · 3 months

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I've been thinking obsessively about my gladiator!Hunter au for the past 24 hours straight- so take some random plot drabbles!

Hunter is sixteen/seventeen ish at the start of the story, although he doesn't know his exact birthdate or age. He has been a professional gladiator for at least a year, training at a ludus gladiatorius (a gladiator training school- currently unnamed) in a province countryside near Rome/

He was abandoned by his mother at the age of seven or eight, and was picked up a few years later by a group of slavers, and sold to very small gladiator trainer/manager- called a lanista- to compete as essentially canon fodder in small provinces.

He survived somehow, and began getting more skill and kinda-sorta-almost fame, and around the age of 13 was sold to the ludas gladiatorius just outside of Rome.

What type of gladiator was he? I'm glad you asked! but this answer is gonna get a little long, so I'm putting it under the partition.

There were several types of gladiators, all of which had different fighting styles and armament, and were suited to different opponents. At the moment, I am unsure which type of gladiator he was. His combat style in canon is very light and agile, and he is semi-lightly armored; I want to represent that in this au with giving him those same traits and abilities.

-the lightest and most agile gladiators were the Retiarius; these guys:

They wore next to no armor besides a manica (arm guard) on one arm and a galerus (shoulder-guard) on the other. They fought with a trident, weighted net, and dagger, and were largely looked down upon, even more than already sub-human gladiators, especially if they belonged to the specific subset of retiarius, called: retiarius tunicatus, who were especially "shameful" and "effeminate" because they wore (can you believe it??) clothes. For shame.

Their main paring in the arena was the more heavily armored: secutor

However, I'm not sure if I like the look for my boy, Hunter- and the fighting style doesn't super call to me, so I'm not sure.

The second option is a rarer type of gladiator called a veles, or velites (skirmishers, in English). Because they are so rare, information on them is a little lean, and most mentions of them are from the Total War Wiki, soooo. I'm going to do my best with what I know.

They fought with a small, round shield and a six ft long spear (hasta in Latin), and were lightly armored. They were also given a sword as a backup, should the spear fail or be lost. They were a latter addition to the gladiator games, based off of a subset of the Roman infantry of the same name. In contests, they would be paired against other velietes.

Like I said, there's not a lot of information on them, which is definitely a con, as it makes design a lot more difficult. But-

Look! Wolf Boy! That is definitely a plus.

As I mentioned, the velietes are based off of an actual subclass of soldier in the Republic, pictured above on the left. We can see the spear, sword, and shield, and he also has a tunic and the wolf cap thing which slays. The right one is a warhammer figurine, but listen, supplies are thin. I can assume, using my very limited historical knowledge, that, as gladiators were, essentially performers of the likes of the despicable actors, they would dress as some sort of caricature of the actual soldiers, with the same weapons, and I propose keeping the wolf beanie as it slaps, but the tunic probably would have been ditched for something more revealing, like on the right.

(gosh that was long why didn't a make this a separate post good heavens why)

Whichever type of gladiator Hunter was, over the course of one or two years he would have sparred 5-7 times in an arena, as well as several times at private functions/ banquets depending on his popularity (spoiler: he is pretty popular). He's also the youngest (scout to be made-) professional gladiator, which is very appealing for a lot of people. Everyone likes an underdog, right?

When not sparring, he endures a harsh training regiment at his ludas gladitorius (still unnamed) under his lanista- who I think should be a character from the show but I do not know who at the moment. Although popular and well-liked, he's a very high flight risk, so his freedom is extremely limited. He basically lives and works and exists at the school, except for when he is rented out for contents and arenas 3-4 times a year.

Sometime during the story he gets spotted at a contest by Belos, (that's right lads you knew he was going to show up. You knew it). Belos is a affluent, high-ranking general in the Roman Army, and attends the contest, and becomes very interested in Hunter.

A few months later, Belos celebrates the ten year anniversary of his brother's death with a gladitoral munera, three days of gladitoral combat and feasts, and rents out gladiators from Hunter's ludas gladitorius, mainly because Hunter looks very similar to his dead brother,(wink wink) and Belos is the emperor(ha) of healthy coping. At the end of the munera, Belos buys Hunter from the lanista to become his personal guard, and boom- we have the Golden Guard dynamic from the show!

Small baby headcanon's that don't really relate:

Hunter is a pretty good pickpocket, from those few years on the streets, but if he got caught he was royally screwed because he can't lie for the life of him.

His favorite color used to be red, but since his time as a gladiator he doesn't know his favorite color anymore. During his time under Belos, it becomes yellow.

When he was younger, he tried to run away twice, and because of that was branded on his arm or neck (maybe with the letters FVG, for fugitive??). With Belos's permission, he cut off/hacks it off after he's bought.

His favorite foods are those little honey cakes sometimes served at the banquets the night before gladiatorial contents. The first time he was important enough to go to a public banquet, he ate so much food he got himself sick, and now at banquets he doesn't eat much, to give himself a better chance the next day, but he does have a honey cake if they are provided.

He thought gladiators were super cool until he became one. Think like, a little kid's obsession with superheroes.

He's still sort of scrawny, especially for a gladiator, who were fed a lot of bulky food to give them some fat to cushion blows in the arena, but he has a good amount of muscle, and after he leaves the arena (and maybe after Belos???) he starts filling out more.

Lastly, at sixteen years old, he still hasn't lost all his baby teeth! (even with how many times he's been socked in the jaw)

I'm hoping to work in more characters later, right now I am frankly obssesed with gladiator!hunter and gladiator!hunter only, but I do have some ideas for Hexsquad + the CATT's, so hopefully I'll be able to expand on that.

Anndddd that's that babbbby take the my disorganized rambles for 24 hours of hyperfixation. And yes, I am writing this because if there's one thing I'm good for it's hyperspecific au's of my loveliest boy.

#the owl house #toh hunter #hunter the golden guard #hunter the owl house #toh #hunter toh #the owl house fic #the owl house au #gladiator au #gladiator!hunter

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cactusblossom · 11 months

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Thank you @charmingmushroom for tagging me in this! I'm honestly excited to get to my answers because I loved yours so much! To anyone I tag, please don't feel pressure to complete this, especially if you have already been tagged, or honestly just don't want to! 💜 I tag @ohthesefaces, @kissalopa, @theworstsimblr, @simsdada, @igglemouse, @faeriefrolic, @lunelfy, @dragonplumbobs All of my answers are under the cut!

What’s your favorite sims death? This is a hard one for me, honestly, because I usually play with aging off because I don't want to deal with my Sims dying. Much like @charmingmushroom said about cowplants being a classic, I gotta say, I love that and death by meteor. I'm so glad that finally came back into the Sims 4 with the normal-sized telescope!

Alpha CC or Maxis Match? It depends on the version of Sims I'm playing! If it's Sims 4, I love the big, round, clay-looking CC. If it's Sims 3, I want the sharper, thinner, structured style of CC. I would say that Sims 2 is kind of in the middle of both styles. So honestly, I just try to match the aesthetics of the world and game around my Sims.

Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? Not at all! I try to match their lifestyle and character choices.

Do you use move objects? Oh yeah. I honestly couldn't play without it.

Favorite mod? More columns in CAS. It took me way too long to get on this train, but the more berry palettes I collected, the more out of control my hair and eyebrow swatches got. And as a tie for second, I absolutely could not play without brntwaffles' SweetFx or softerhaze's Sunblind in my game.

First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? So… I'm one of the people that got Sims 4 a few months after its launch. At the time, I was playing on a 2011 MacBook Pro, not made for gaming, and I was desperately playing The Sims 3 in Windowed Mode and restarting every 30 minutes to avoid crashing. If you guys know anything about Sims 3 and Macs, they were not made to go together. It was a whole thing. I've gotten the packs as they come out in order, which the exception of kits and Journey to Batuu. (I have that now, but I waited for a 1/2 off sale.) So my first was Outdoor Retreat, which is still one of my faves!

Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? I used to always pronounce it like aLIVE mode, but since Sims Youtube blew up, I now say LIVing mode out of habit of what I hear.

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? At this time, Mentha from my Not So Berry (But Berry) challenge. This happened in the first version of her that I wasn't documenting before I lost my saves because of some of the updates, but after she made her freeze-ray, she walked up behind a coworker who was sitting and had no idea she was there, pointed the ray and whispered, "Dag-dag". Literally the highlight of my gameplay. She is WILD. I hope she does more things like this in this iteration of her!

Have you made a simself? I have! And I update her regularly. She's always a Witch or a Spellcaster, too! I'm planning to take some pictures of her and my wife's (@ohthesefaces) simselves for Pride this month! 💜 They're some of my favorite private gameplay that I have!

What sim traits did you give yourself? I also have a Simself in Sims 3, so I've got a few different traits. Sims 3: Neurotic, Light Sleeper, Loves the Cold, Avant Garde, Green Thumb Sims 4: Art Lover, Perfectionist, Squeamish It's a lot harder in Sims 4 with only three trait slots to start with.

What is your favorite EA hair color? cheese hair. Classic, iconic, weird. I love it!

Favorite EA hair? Honestly, this is tough for me because some of my favorite hairs are not EA. Shoutout to ClumsyAlien and Miiko who make CC I can't play without! But I have to say some of the updated Afro-textured hairs. Since I had Sims 4 when it first came out, not only were the options for Afro-textured hair basically non-existent, but they were carelessly made. Over the years, since they've gone in and redone some of those earlier textures and worked with creators to make new ones, I've really appreciated having those in my game. Guys, it wasn't always like this. lmao

Favorite life stage? I hate to be that guy since Sims 4 is basically a Young Adult simulator, but like, Young Adult. I'm closing in on the Adult life stage of my own life, and it's scary.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? When I first had Sims 4, and because I played on Mac and was trying to limit my CC (aka, play CC free), I was strictly a builder. I didn't play as much as I built, but now that I have a PC and the space for my 50GB of CC (yes, that's right), I play too! And honestly, I don't even have lag. A lot of it is recolors, and I have limited actual mods, so my game runs beautifully still! I have really been into renovating EA lots lately, though.

Are you a CC creator? no. I wish, though. It's something I feel like I could get into, I just haven't put in all the extra effort to learn how to do it.

Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? I don't think I do--no disrespect to anyone who thinks otherwise! I just feel very new, still, and on the outside. Thank you again to @charmingmushroom for tagging me in something like this! It's so much fun and gives me warm fuzzies! 💜

What’s your favorite game? This is a huge category for me because I play a lot of other things besides The Sims! I'll just list some of my current favorites in no particular order that are part of my rotation right now. The Sims (obviously, and if we're talking strictly gameplay, it's Sims 2 all day, baby), No Man's Sky, Assassin's Creed: Odyssey, Stardew Valley, Skyrim, Red Dead Redemption 2, and Sims Medieval.

Do you have any Sims merch? I do, actually. I have a print from the game that I still haven't found the right frame for that my wife, @ohthesefaces, got for me for my birthday one year!

Do you have a YouTube for sims? No! I don't think I would be entertaining enough, tbh. And my god, how horrible would it be to hear my own voice??

How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? Since my CC explosion in the Sims 4, I've really gotten into Berry Sims! I can't believe I didn't know about it before when I played the Sims 3, but I wasn't on the Simblr side of Tumblr.

What’s your Origin ID? Pass on this, as I share it with my household.

Who’s your favorite CC creator? I have WAY too many, but there are definitely some I couldn't live without. I mentioned the lighting and overall color correction mods I play with earlier, but for some of the CC, I 100% always need tainoodles Sorbet Remix, anything and everything by miiko, anything and everything by clumsyalien, anything and everything by teekalu, anything and everything by treefish, and honestly, so many more that I can't think of right now. But those come to my head right away!

How long have you had a simblr? Only since August of 2022, but I've been on Tumblr since 2010. My other Tumblr is just art aesthetic though.

How do you edit your pictures? I don't have or use reshade/gshade, so all of my editing is done manually with the strong arms done by SweetFx and Sunblind. But I'm currently obsessed with Kaleeko's Clean & Clear, and early-grape's Glowe Kit.

What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? I'll do one from each. EP: Get To Work. I love the active careers, ESPECIALLY the Scientist Career. Plus, aliens, helloooo. GP: Though I'm an Occult simmer, I have to say StrangerVille is by far my favorite. I love the storyline and having the tasks to do! Like most things with Sims 4, I only wish there were more. SP: Paranormal, hands down. With Tiny Living as a close second. They really nailed it with both of these Stuff packs and they were only $10?! As insane as them giving away Desert Luxe for free, honestly. Kit: Pastel Pop, 100%. That pack was made for me and I use everything from it way too often.

What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? Give me Faeries and/or give me Futuristic. But whatever they give me, please just give me gameplay.

#sims questions #text post

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phoenixduelist · 6 months

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BASICS !

Name / Alias: Jasmine

Pronouns: she/her

Type of muses: canon | OCs | both | other (specify)

GENERALITIES !

Triggers people MUST tag: None.

Interest tracker / checker: I have it and it's mandatory | I have it, it's not mandatory but I'm more likely to follow back / interact with the people who fill it | I have one and I prefer it if people fill it in | I have it but it's to people whether to fill it or not | I don't have one | other: I don't have one but probably should have because the Véghváryverse has gotten out of hand

Rule passwords: I have one and it's mandatory | I have one and it's optional | I don't have one | I send passwords | don't sent passwords | when should I send a password?? If I send it while the other person hasn't followed back I feel like I'm being pushy & almost demanding a follow back. If I don't send it and follow them, then they will think I didn't read the rules.

3-5 ESSENTIAL RULES PEOPLE HAVE TO RESPECT

My blogs are +18 only. I know you feel ready and don't know why is this thing so common; I felt the same way. You will get it when you're older.

Don't use Amber Heard as a faceclaim if you would like to write with me. I don't tolerate Johnny Depp slander either.

Like my characters, my writing style is also intense. Grand storylines, deep emotions, detailed fight scenes, serious conflicts. As @erthlyheavn once called the 'genre' (and I'm still extremely honored): Jasminean tragedy.

3-5 IMPORTANT PET PEEVES TO KEEP IN MIND

Tiny ass icons (less than 100x100) with a distorting psd slapped onto it with a fancy border. I CAN'T SEE SHIT. Let alone make out the character's expression. This isn't a dealbreaker though, I just don't understand the appeal of something so microscopic supposing to convey emotions.

Extreme formatting to the point I have difficulty reading it, despite my eyesight is great.

Haven't really happened, but expecting Rozy (or any of my muses) to be immediately down to have sex with yours. She might feel attraction at first sight, especially if the first meeting is a swordfight, but she's a trauma ridden gray asexual. It will take some time.

That being said, treating OC X Canon ships like it's the fucking 8th deadly sin.

2-5 THINGS THAT WILL LEAD TO INSTANT (SOFT) BLOCKING

Porn bots duh.

Blogs without displayed +18 age (I am fine with personal blogs if they are +18)

Terfs, racism, homophobia, Amber Heard supporters etc

Anon hate, unless I'm feeling snappy enough to answer.

2-5 THINGS THAT LEAD ME TO UNFOLLOW / SOFT HARDBLOCK A MUTUAL / SOMEONE I INTERACT WITH

We all know and put in the no racists etc list in our rules but I haven't seen many 'don't interact if you're anti sex work'. So if I see anyone speaking poorly of sex work in general, sex workers of any kind from full time workers to selling feet pics on Onlyfans; saying they deserve whatever treatment because of their line of work, daddy issues/uneducated/unintelligent jokes, use of slurs: get the fuck out of my sight and be very glad I'm not your neighbor. My blogs are all safe spaces for every kind of sex workers.

Portraying pedophilia/rape/sexual abuse in a positive light. It's not the same as having those in your character's backstory, nor if your character has a warped mindset on it due to what they been through. I am able to tell when the mun themselves write it as a kink instead a character's trauma response.

Being soooooo 'anti callout' that they refuse to heed the 20+ page google docs of evidence and still interact with known abusers in the rpc. And I'm not talking about 'they called my friend stupid and have a similar theme as them' petty shit. I'm talking about grooming, pedophilia, slandering, manipulating, doxxing, harassing, stalking. If you let that fly because their writing is good, they make you graphics or for whatever the sorry attempt of an excuse; what the fuck.

Giving me unwarranted, unwanted, condescending criticism about my writing. This doesn't mean I don't accept criticism, far from it. I also ask for feedback from time to time. I don't care how this will sound: I know I'm a good writer. I researched everything, poured history, psychology, years of development, depth, nuances, despite her strengths/talents she is balanced on the power scale (especially with the latest addition of the necessary recovery after pulling her sword fuckery), just very difficult to deal with. You do not get to dismiss that nor try pull me down because you will only end up pissing me off for eternity. Just say 'Our writing styles don't match' and unfollow. No harm done with that. But giving me an incorrect lecture when I didn't even ask for it is one of the very few things that will get you blocked without a word, because I'm still courteous enough to not leave an essay how you had no right & break down why you're wrong in your inbox before the block. Don't make me tone down my writing style and insult me for it because you don't want to/incapable of matching it.

2-5 REASON YOU DON'T TO FOLLOW (BACK) SOMEONE

Writing style and/or preferred topics the other person wants to discover don't or barely overlap with mine.

Shittalking Ocs in the rules like 'canon gave us enough developed characters'. Are we seriously gatekeeping...creativity???

Overly...detailed or harsh isn't a good word for it; but if the rules are like blocking without a word in case of liking too many posts, reblogging a meme instead of the source, sending too many messages etc. Which is fine how you want to curate your space, but I have way too many problems to worry about irl and I don't want to feel like I'm on a minefield where one wrong move is game over forever when I'm supposed to have fun. I'm way too stressed for this.

Even if everything is fine but I don't feel that spark. When I follow, it means I'm very much interested, intrigued in your character, your portrayal and want to throw my psychotic captain & the disaster crew at your muse(s). But there are some cases when I simply can't feel that. And I don't want to disappoint anyone by giving replies without soul in them.

tagged by: fucking stolen what did you expect, this is a pirate focused blog

#Context: I had and still having aftershocks of a brutal epilepsy mixed panic attack; pumped full of meds and during this I'm brutally honest #Don't worry; you get the sweet Jasmine back instead of the bitchy one after a 14 hour sleep #🩸ooc 🗡 | out of tragedy #the Hardblock reasons section became a collection of burning hot takes-

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prismatic-bell · 2 years

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Huh.

And now in a single day I gained 20 real people followers and I'm at 10,013 now.

Sure, why not.

Anyway I do this every so often and I think I last did it at 7000 people so it's well past time, hi, I'm Nina, glad you're here, let's lay down some ground rules and expectations.

1) I have ADHD. I will do my absolute level best to tag things for triggers if you ask me to. I will not promise I will not forget. If that makes this space unsafe for you and you need to leave, I understand, apologize, and hope you enjoy your Tumbling elsewhere.

2) You will occasionally find adult content on this blog. I don't require that you be over 18 to follow me--it would make me an incredible hypocrite, on top of which I think modern age guidelines are kind of stupid and arbitrary and don't allow for the concept of individual experience. Which, to be clear since this website thinks we piss on the poor: no, I am not saying 'yay pedophilia'. I am saying some 15-year-olds are babysitters and some 15-year-olds need babysitters, and that when I was 15 I was required to read Macbeth in school but the following year had to ask my mom to rent a Quentin Tarantino movie for me because the violence netted it an R rating, and if you don't think that's stupid and arbitrary then I don't know what to tell you. HOWEVER. With all of that said, if you are a teenager on this blog, I expect you to have the maturity to curate your own experience. This is your warning that I swear, that I do discuss and reblog sexual topics, that my current major fandom involves a lot of sex and violence, and that I don't shy away from dark and serious topics when they cross my dash. If any of that makes you uncomfortable to the point that it makes your Tumblr experience a negative one, I will not be hurt if you unfollow me. If you're uncomfortable with intergenerational interaction or friendships and the idea of hanging with someone in xir early 30s doesn't sit well with you, I still will not be hurt if you unfollow me. Come back in a few years when you're older, I'll probably still be here. We can complain about how the site isn't broken the way it used to be. If you decide to make your age my problem, however, you will be blocked.

3) No, I will not trigger-warning the word "queer" for you. It is my identity. I am a queer genderqueer person. You can blacklist it yourself. Tumblr has that option now. If you're so triggered by the idea of typing it into a blacklist field, then you need to get off the internet and into therapy. If you want to scream about how it's always been a slur and how terrible I am for using it, I want to remind you that the term "Queer Studies" to refer to the academic discussion and teaching of LGBTQIA+ history was coined the same year I was born and I will, without question, barrage you with pictures and books from the 1980s and 1990s of the word being heavily reclaimed and then tell you to go pick up a goddamn book and learn something about our history. If you try to do the whole "you can use queer but you should never refer to other people as queer" worm-around derail, you will get blocked. Period. I don't have time for rhetoric that began in TERF camps. 4) Hate will be posted publicly and shamed.

5) I block all blogs that look like bots. 6) I will not tolerate bigotry on my blog. If you try to get funny on one of my posts, I will yell at you privately if I'm feeling charitable and publicly if I'm not. I will not apologize for this. 7) My pronouns are xe/xir. They're older than me and probably older than you. Calling them fake/neopronouns (derogatory)/not legitimate/whatever will get you blocked. I will respect your pronouns, I require that you respect mine. 8) In that vein I have never gotten into the habit of backreading someone's blog before reblogging from them when something crosses my dash. If I misgender you, I apologize and ask that you realize it is not malicious, it is lack of knowledge. Tell me what I should be using and I'll be happy to make the correction.

Thank you, welcome to the madhouse, enjoy.

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olivieblake · 3 years

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Happy Halloween Olivie! I feel like it's been forever because I've been so inactive both on tumblr and fanfiction wise, but hope you're doing well!

It's been a crazy couple of years for me actually - among other things also because I was in a situationship (I think that's what it's called) with a younger guy who was supposed to move away eventually and who ended up doing so recently- surprise surprise lol. So idk if this counts as me confessing a crush, but for someone who has crushed on boys easily for years and yet somehow been very very (almost too) careful about actually getting into a relationship, this was much harder on me than I expected. I went into it with the 'I don't care how this ends, it makes me happy rn' mentality that's just NOT me at all so idek what I was expecting tbh, but I realised more and more how easy it was to be with him, how I'd fallen for him without even realising it, how comfortable I was being myself around him, how he felt like a friend I'd known all my life AND someone I wanted to get to know everything about - basically all the stupid cliches I'd heard about that didn't seem that stupid anymore

His leaving was a sword hanging over my head for the last 1.5 years, and in a way I'm glad it finally happened because I know I wasn't thinking straight or considering other more liable long-term options because of him. But this also felt like the worst heartbreak I've had so far because it felt so out of my control- had his circumstances or my career been different, it may really have been something - but I don't blame him at all.

So I'd like to ask if you (or anyone you know of) have a similar story about feeling like someone really could've (to quote Taylor Swift) been The One if not for circumstances, and how looking back on it after a while makes you feel.

I have been wondering this for a bit now but have the ask character limit/formatting limitations gone away?? that’s great news okay now let’s go into your story. it has VERY MUCH been ages since I’ve seen you and I’m so happy you’re here!! okay let’s do this

let me start with: I totally crush easily. I always have a crush. several crushes. pet crushes. I used to wonder how it was possibly to love one person forever until I realized you can still have crushes and it’s fine because it’s not the same thing; part of the fun of a crush is the cerebral part, where it only exists in your head and is perfect, which is also what most situationships are because some element of intimacy (the commitment part) is missing. but anyway yes okay so you had a crush and lol, I know, we all tell ourselves we don’t care how it ends but of course we do, all of this tracks... yeah, I can see totally this as something that hangs over you. I completely understand. I’m a daydreamer myself. there are lots of people in my life that I think I could have been happy with, even if it’s not the happy I ultimately chose. and because things are left open-ended or without the conclusion that satisfies you, it’s easy to imagine they’re more perfect than they actually were, or to imagine what they would have been if you hadn’t already known it couldn’t really happen.

I really thought I was going to end up with this one guy I knew in college. I still don’t understand what happened with him? he was so, so smart; I don’t remember exactly how we got to be friends—a class, probably—but then gradually he started taking me as his date to things. like, fancy things? galas he got invited to by the university, a secret society he was part of, big networking things—I’m kind of a great date for schmoozing, he was totally beloved by all the VIPs, and we always had fun together. I remember one night he showed up at my sorority house with flowers and it was totally that scene from Legally Blonde where all my sorority sisters were screaming about the boy who showed up in a tux to take me to this event. when we spent time alone together I was like wow, we’re planning a future together, aren’t we? like, this is what it would be like if we were together. but he had a lot of personal issues; a very private but very serious substance abuse problem, difficulties with intimacy. overall it was not a good situationship for me, even if I was perfectly content while I was inside it. I think about him all the time; he’s like the daisy to my gatsby. the last time I saw him he was dropping me off on my doorstep—he kissed me goodnight, told me I looked beautiful, and that was it. now he’s just gone, and like, it’s not just that he’s gone, but the whole future I imagined with him is gone. the galas and parties and feeling like part of a power couple is the opposite of the marriage I eventually chose, and yeah. sometimes I imagine there’s an alternate version of myself living that life, though it kind of satisfies me to think that version of me probably isn’t happier. she just didn’t know yet who she really was or what she really wanted. she didn’t know what kind of love would actually make her feel safe

after him there were a couple of others. someone in law school while I was dating mr blake, someone I worked with after I had gotten married. just crushes, people with chemistry who I knew would have chosen me if I’d asked. I’m an imaginative person, so yeah, sometimes I think about the fact that I could have made other choices and gone down other paths. I really think that letting yourself travel down that AU of your life is worth it; you just have to be honest about how it actually looks. and in this case it’s probably too fresh for you to feel anything but sad, but that’s okay. some sadnesses are important, they teach us something about what we really want. everyone in your life touches it and changes you, and I think it’s perfectly fine to honor that

#galloween slumber party #gumwouldbperfection

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lovefortvmoviekillersandpsychos · 5 years

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Good At Being Bad Part 1

Barry Allen (Ezra Miller) X OC

So you're a tough guy

Like it really rough guy

Just can't get enough guy

Chest always so puffed guy

I'm that bad type

Make your mama sad type

Make your girlfriend mad tight

Might seduce your dad type

I'm the bad guy, duh

I'm only good at being bad, bad

I like when you get mad

I guess I'm pretty glad that you're alone

You said she's scared of me?

I mean, I don't see what she sees

But maybe it's 'cause I'm wearing your cologne

////~~~~~~~\\\\

Crime is in full abundance everywhere. I learned that quickly after my escape from a horrible place full of people dressed in white. Staying alone was easy. I had heard of what happened to my Pappa after I was no longer by his side but couldn't bring myself to go back to him. Not yet. He seemed to be at his violent high and I did not think it would be the safest option to grow up in. Central City was my safest bet because of Superman. In Central City, I was able to do more than survive off of scrapes. A nice wealthy family who had lost a child close to my age, prior to my move to the city, took me in. They put me through private school which I graduated within three years. Pappa didn't raise me to be an uneducated princess. He raised me to be a genius. So, I interned at various law firms and fashion businesses around the city. Knowing the law seemed like the best bet because to break the law, you should know what you're breaking...right?

A year and a half ago, I ran into trouble though. Not with the law, but with some petty criminal. There I was saved by a masked man with a jawline I'd recognize anywhere. I knew that jawline from numerous run-ins I'd had at the local pizza parlor with a guy a little older than me. The petty criminal was knocked unconscious and he turned to me. I watched him carefully. His eyes widened in recognition but he cleared his throat and made his voice sound deeper than what I knew his actual voice was.

"Are you okay ma'am?"

I gave a short laugh,

"All thanks to you no doubt."

Awkwardness settled as he looked like he wanted to say something else. I smiled as I took a step towards the masked man.

"You know....you have a jawline for days?"

Stunned at my comment, he stumbled for words and I cusped his cheek in my hand and leaned in to whisper,

"I'll see you around, pizza boy."

Not even an hour later, I walked into the local pizza parlor to see him about to leave with 2 boxes of fresh pizza. I winked at him as he passed me with a guarded but curious expression. When I was leaving with my order, I found him sitting outside with his pizzas still in hand and a very nervous ora around him. I smiled a gentle smile and approached him.

"Hello, we've never formerly introduced ourselves. I'm Y/N L/N."

"Oh yeah. You're right. That's actually rude of me. We've seen each other here like almost every day of the week for the past 2 months and... Hi, I'm Barry, Barry Allen."

Balancing his pizzas onto one hand, he reached out to shake my hand. The moment our hands touched my heart beat faster and heat rose in my ears, cheeks, and chest. Breathlessly, Barry smiled at me with shyness in his eyes. I'm not sure why, but for the first time in my life I felt like a normal girl. I wasn't planning or calculating. I wasn't putting on a mask of indifference or fake kindness.

We started a very iffy relationship that was very strong at times and hurtful in other moments. He wouldn't admitted who he was even though him protecting me from theft was what made us come together in the first place. I fought to keep my darker habits from getting me into trouble when I got tired of being treated helpless. Yes, while Barry respects me, he wants to be my knight. All the good he was doing, all his adventurous escapades had me green with envy. I missed the thrill of a little danger...causing it more than that. But I kept myself in line. Especially knowing that Barry may be the one to take me down...though that's happened a few times before. Today is the day I decided to leave though, Barry and I ha e been having too many arguments. About him being late to dates, about him forgetting dates, about him not liking my circle of acquaintances,about him not trying to get to know people I talk to. I'm tired of it. When it's good, it's all good. But as soon as there is one thing to cause an argument, it turns into a full blown fight with yelling and tears and with me going to my apartment. Of course Barry would show up almost as soon as I'd get home, with flowers and apologies.

I've been in this city for almost 6 years. Pappa...I missed him. I missed home, in all it's filth and crime, it is home.

"Don't leave Jasmine. You like it here. I don't get it. You like it here and you're leaving?"

Sighing I turned to my boyfriend,

"It's just what I need to do Barry. Gotham is my home and I haven't been there in years. You've liked plenty of places but you still moved around."

"Yeah because I can't find the perfect place you know. But I stay in the same city. Gotham though...it's full of lunatics and psychos with guns and explosives and killers and danger and-"

"I know Barry. I was born there."

"Do you have to go tonight though? One more date night and I won't put up a fuss when you leave in the morning. I bought like 10 pizzas. Two are your favorites from the New York style pizza place. I got your favorite snack and drinks and alcohol too."

A smile crept on my face before I could try to maintain my serious posture,

"Barry..."

He looked at me with puppy eyes and I rolled mine before relenting and dropping my bag down. In a flash, Barry has me in his arms and was spinning us around. Wrapping my arms around him, I enjoyed the moment. I couldn't have had a better first boyfriend. Sweet, nice, spontaneous gifts, and fun date nights. Leaning towards his ear I whispered,

"Let's watch the latest KPOP music videos before finding a movie."

In another instant moment, Barry kissed me deeply, making my heart beat harder than previously. Then he was at his computer in his favorite reclining chair typing away on his multi-desktop computer. Grabbing a box of pizza, I slid onto Barry's lap and let the pizza rest on mine as I grabbed a slice to feed Barry as he typed rapidly. He took the slice in his mouth before I grabbed myself a slice as well. Deep inside though, I want a thrill of danger. I want to explore how dangerous I can be since the experiments. But here with Barry, there is peace and I'm sure there is love. But I need to be bad again, I'm just not sure how good I am at it yet.

#barry allen #barry x reader #justice league

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amaterasu-luna · 5 years

Text

Tea Time - Byleth x Reader

I strolled down the dirt path that lead to where the Professor sat. An elegant tea set made of porcelain with gray hue was centered at the table. A basket of cookies to the left and a two tier sweets array to the right. He noticed my presence and took my hand. "(Y/N), I'm glad you could join me." Being the gentleman he was, he pulled out a chair for me to be seated.

"Thank you." A grin already curled on my lips as he sat down. I could feel a blush coming in as well.

"I chose (tea/flavor), I hope you'll like it. It's among one of my favorites." He poured me a cup of tea and the fragrance was just mesmerizing. I couldn't wait to taste it.

"You're so thoughtful, Professor." I gave him a warm smile as I picked up the cup diligently, giving it a view before sipping. "Mm..it tastes wonderful.."

"I'm glad you think so. Can I offer you some sweets as well?" He motioned to the array of options before me.

"I'll have this." I picked out a (baked/good) and gave it a bite. It was still warm with the freshness still prevalent. The remainder of the treat was placed on a small plate to the side.

"So tell me, (Y/N). How are you liking the academy so far?" He gazed at me intently, waiting for a response from me.

"It's fantastic here. I'm able to become a stronger person to help those in need. Especially thanks to you, Professor."

"Thanks to me?" He gave a small smile. He never showed emotions. His smile was so innocent and inviting. It was much different than in the classroom."I'm glad you believe I am impactful as you think in your progress."

"But of course! I'm glad you were there guiding me. I honestly can't envision having anyone else be my teach but you."

"That makes me happy to know that I was able to aid you in your training. I love watching my students grow." He gave a slight nod and sipped his tea. "How do you feel about your current state with classes?"

"Everything is okay. It's a bit slower now luckily since I've been on top of everything."

"Oh so that means you're okay with the material in that case?"

"Well...yes and no. Yes studying is helping with educating me more about [the] (weapon), but it's not the same as a hands-on experience."

"I see..Well I can offer you some private lessons for more training. One on one or even in a group. Whichever makes you feel more comfortable."

My face lit up like a lightbulb. Lessons to help me improve myself. I remember having doubts of him because he only specialized in swords, but he takes the time to educate himself with different disciplines to teach his students. "I would love for any help from you, Professor. I think I'll do a (single/group) session."

"Excellent. I'll try to arrange something for you starting next month the latest."

"Thank you so much.." He really was going to do this for me. He truly is a sweetheart beneath that emotionless exterior. "Say, Professor?"

"Hm?" He took another sip, his eyes meeting mine.

"How are you doing?"

"How am I..?" He repeated the question, he looked at his tea, faced with his reflection. "I'm alright, I suppose. Just busy working and training my own skills."

"Are you sure? You seem so tired these days since you never stop working.." Even I looked down at my tea. He wasn't being honest with me and it hurt a bit. This was probably his attempt in telling me not to worry about him so much.

"It's alright, (Y/N). It's my job. I appreciate the concern, but really, everything is alright." I wanted to believe him, but it didn't sit right with me.

"Alright then.." All I could do was sigh but he kept insisting everything was alright.

"Hey..such a sad expression doesn't suit you, (Y/N). Please look at me." I did just that, my eyes gazed into his with slight disappointment. "Thank you for caring for my well-being. That's kind of you. One of the things I love about you. The way you care for everyone."

"O-Oh really…?" My face turned bright red and he gave me a slight chuckle, joking that my flustered state suited me better.

"Pink suits you really well." He joked.

"D-does not!"

Tea time continued on with more bantering and small talk. The time seemed to fly when I was with the Professor. Having this one on one time with him gave me the opportunity to observe him. Fair skin, sapphire eyes, layered navy hair with bangs that hide his face at times. His grayish-black tunic with pink accents hugged his body is complemented with a cloak matching his tunic. He looked rather young. Close to my age..It had me thinking that one day, I'm going to have to leave the Monastery and I may never see him again..No I can't think about that day. I have to focus on the now.

"(Y/N)?"

"Oh! I'm sorry...yes?" There I go again, lost in my own bubble.

"I forgotten Seteth requested me to come up." He stood up and began to clean up the table. "My apologies for cutting this session so short."

"It's alright, please don't apologize." I stood up and assisted him since it was too much. "I enjoyed our time together."

"As did I." He had finished cleaning up and looked at me. "(Y/N)?"

"Yes, Professor?" I watched him come closer to me and wrapped his arms around me. One being on my shoulder and the other being around my waist. He kissed my forehead and held me close for a good amount of time.

"My appreciation for you, (Y/N)." He pulled away and picked up the items from the table. "Take it easy for me. Good day." He was off just like that. I felt the area he kissed and blushed deeply. He kissed me..this was a shock. My heart was beating a mile a minute as it fluttered. The next time something like that happens, I want that to be the day I tell him how I feel…

#byleth #fire emblem #reader #fanfiction #dorothea #black eagles #x reader #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem byleth #fire emblem x reader

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zaethiopica · 3 years

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Hi! I love your fanfics about fox like seriously they're amazing ♥️♥️♥️ I have a question tho, how does discord work? I've seen quite a few people mentioning it & I'd be down for joining but I don't write fanfic or make fanart so idk if that's ok. I'm not really sure how much participation is expected either. I'd love to be able to talk about fan stuff with other people but I don't want to get it wrong >.< Thank you! (◠‿◠)♥️

Aah, thank you!! I'm glad you like them!! As for discord, you can kind of think of it as a big group chat, but theres sections for different topics and stuff and you might not necessarily know everyone (maybe that's more of a forum, but i never used those much so I don't know). A lot of the specifics vary from server to server, depending on the rules/people/content. You definitely don't need to be a creator to join the vast majority of servers, although there are some specifically for artists/authors/etc. Some servers might want a certain level of participation, but pretty much every one i've been a part of doesn't care how much you actually interact (I tend to either lurk or not shut up, with no in between). You can create your own discord servers or join a pre-existing one. Some do have limitations on who can join, and there's some servers that are essentially "private" in that they might only be a group of friends who don't hand out the server link to anyone else. The majority of fandom servers, though, are essentially "public", in that there's a link posted somewhere that anyone can click on to join (although again, there might be some restrictions based on things like age that will usually be included in whatever post the link is in). There's also the options to do voice calls/share your screen in kind of a mini stream, but it's been a while since I've done that. Tbh there's probably other features that I couldn't tell you off of the top of my head, but technical details aren't really my forte and I've been on there long enough that I don't think twice about a lot of things. I've overall had a pretty good experience with discord and made some really good friends over the years, but it can take a while to find the right groups. Ik this isn't a particularly smooth explanation, but that's everything I could think of!

#i've admittedly also had some really bad experiences on discord but it really is more about the people/server than anything #if you don't 'qualify' for a server dont join it even if you want to and just respect the rules the mods put in place #im mostly thinking of age restrictions here because that's the most common limit on servers but yeah

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Rio & Indie

Rio: 🎂🎁🎊 Rio: Your Birthday present is here! Rio: And no, it isn't just me with a 🎀 Indie: 💖💖💖💖💖 Rio: Withhold your blatant disappointment on that score and get your glad rags on, baby girl! Rio: I got it sorted for you at XS, whoever you show up with tonight, gonna look the other way when it comes to ID Indie: wicked idea and im mad grateful but and watched you dont get vexed but im gonna have to dash on that Indie: private party happening, innit Rio: Awh 😞 I really can't convince you??? Rio: Who got in there before me and with a better offer Rio: AND HOW Rio: I must know! Indie: nah can't bail on this Indie: rudeboy would never handle it Rio: I know the feeling Rio: so gutted 💔 Rio: won't be right, when'd my baby get so grown? Indie: ive kept him hanging long til the date cos hes got years on me Indie: girl i always been grown Indie: this just a formality like Rio: umm how many years we talking here Indie: idk what am i the feds Indie: jam its chill Rio: yeah bitch it won't be chill when the actual show up Rio: the jailbait nickname ain't meant to be more than that Rio: he's like what, my age, then??? Indie: allow it Indie: you gotta have trust Rio: on no info Rio: i weren't born yesterday Rio: or 15 years ago even Rio: where'd you meet then? name? anything? Indie: you don't need to use me to prove your perv radar still works after the recent blip Rio: alright, fair Rio: but how sneaky you're being says it all so Rio: don't do anything stupid, yeah? Indie: cos i dont want you all in my birthday business Indie: I'm not a kid I can handle my own Rio: Clearly not, if you're meeting up with some random creep Rio: I'm not trying to be all up on you if that's not what you want but I can still see you have a good time with or without Rio: and at the very least, make sure you're safe, standard Indie: weird flex when you want someone to roll with or to score for you Indie: not a kid then innit Indie: and you aren't my ma so stop being extra Rio: Don't be a dick Rio: as if I've ever used you Indie: you and your fam striking at me first Rio: what? Indie: give me air im just shook for my celebrations Rio: don't go Rio: come to the club Rio: i won't even be there Indie: nah i gotta Indie: it'll be off the hook when i get there like Rio: cool Rio: keep me posted, yeah? Indie: when i dont get owned i'll send you an i told you so Indie: 😂 Rio: Cheeky bitch Rio: Just tryna look at for you, smalls Indie: but i didn't ask so you can't tell Indie: dems the rules Rio: I don't have to play by the rules, honey Rio: 🤷 Indie: ✌ Rio: [Later] Rio: Give me one good reason I shouldn't come over there right now and beat his ass back into last century where he came from Indie: me Indie: if you wanna beef with me come through Rio: THIS IS ILLEGAL INDIE Rio: even if it weren't, it's so fucking sketchy Rio: if he's happy to go out WITH A CHILD, who knows what else sick shit he's happy to do Rio: you need to leave now Indie: you a fed now? didnt realise we had a new jakes in the ends Indie: he thinks im 18 so you need to chill and let me get paid Rio: Yeah, sure he does Rio: You don't look it so I'm about as fooled by him as he is you Rio: This is serious Rio: If you want money, I'll give you it, fuck this shit Indie: it's no big thing Indie: we aren't gonna mash its just dinner and drinks Indie: stay out of my way on this Rio: are you mad Rio: who am i suddenly that you think that's even an option Indie: who am i that you think i need to sos you Rio: you never ask for help Rio: but you don't need to for it to be there or be warranted Rio: i'm serious, you don't wanna get in shit for this Rio: you'll be lucky if you've not been clocked by staff and they've got the garda on the way Rio: if they think you're doing more than you are, you're fucked Rio: just leave, please Indie: i'll go cos ive slipped with this posh nosh and am marvin still not cos everythings on top Rio: you swear Rio: 'cos you know I'll come through Indie: im out Indie: stay where you're at Rio: alright Rio: fucking hell girl Indie: don't let it kill your vibe Rio: i'm not bothered about that Rio: what was yours going out like that, like? Indie: 🤑🤑 Rio: of all the ways though, babe Rio: i'd put it behind the bar, like, you woulda been sorted, not that crap at gifts Indie: i dont want yours Rio: why not Rio: it isn't an IOU Indie: cos im trying to earn my own Rio: Then we work out a way that doesn't involve underage sex work Indie: shut up Rio: Come on then babe, sort it out Indie: don't babe or ma me Rio: You acting it, you gonna get it 👶🍼 Indie: in this case never better than too late Indie: leave me out of your guilty parenting Rio: Never Indie: have a word with just yourself then Indie: im out of here too Rio: Catch you later tomorrow Indie: dont know where im be Indie: text me first Rio: will do

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sagurus · 6 years

Note

(ss anon) ahhhh no worry!! i probably wouldn't steal much from p5 other than the premise of the game anyhow since i don't think the actual plot of the two characters i'm thinking of fit saguru and kaito enough. in that case i'll keep it in mind! as for saguru+ai, i admit that i lean the opposite way: i think the idea of her having a second chance at a childhood is nice in concept, but i feel like it would come with a lot of consequences that i don't think i'd want her to suffer [1/?]

(ss anon) for one, it makes her twelve years older in actuality than anyone else that "looks" her age, and obviously she can't really tell anyone about it, and also she'll probably have no way to prove that she's telling the truth even if she does want to, which really means that she's going to be living a lie for the rest of her life? like, anyone other than shinichi+some others will never know, no matter how close she gets to them, and she'll always be afraid to talk about it [2/?]

(ss anon) so idk, it's hard for me to say i want her to stay as ai, because even if the detective boys believe her, that's still only 3 other people, y'know? she's going to meet countless people over the course of her life, and even if she grows close to them she can't say anything, or worse, people she really care about might call her crazy and a liar and abandon her if she tells. it's really depressing when i think about it that way :( [3/?]

(ss anon) on a more personal note, the idea of shiho coming to terms with her past is really inspiring to me too... i think that the idea that she can move on and live a happy life as shiho is more poignant than the alternative, because it suggests that she can come to terms with the injustice she's suffered but still live on, start over, and be happy anyways. and that's really meaningful to me, y'know? plus it'd be an echo of her decision not to take the witness protection program haha [4/?]

(ss anon) so that's what i think about ai vs shiho! i'm willing to do either, though, provided i can just think of a good idea involving them... if you don't have a strong preference either way, whichever one makes more sense to me w/ any idea i think up is probably what i'll do! i was... tossing around ideas of shiho going into forensics and meeting saguru there tbh but i'm still up in the air on that... it could maybe be fun though!! or an ace attorney-esque thing maybe??? [5/?]

(ss anon) in any case, i've got a few options on that front. thank you re: akako and aoko by the way!! they're really sweet and i like them a lot... by the way, i like saguru a lot more now too! he does sort of fall into my biases anyways. i feel like canonically he doesn't get much depth :c also i wish aoyama would talk more about how he studied in britain! (speaking of shiho+saguru, that would be fun to delve into~) that's all for now, haha... hope you have a great day!!! [6/6]

I really enjoy hearing your thoughts and your perceptions of characters!!! And I definitely hear you on the Shiho vs Ai front!! You bring up some really important points tbh. I must stress again that I really enjoy both versions of her regardless, so I won’t be disappointed in any way if you choose one over the other. I love the thought of Shiho and Saguru meeting through work things. I also just now had a thought of “what if Shiho had gone to schooling in Britain when she was younger instead of America and they had met?” I’ve also had thoughts before of playing with them as siblings / cousins but i have whole layers of backstory related to that that I don’t know how to explain right now (however, if you were to run with that sort of concept I would sure be excited to see what thoughts you have related to that) but REGARDLESS. Shiho+saguru interaction is super fun and there is not nearly enough of it in fandom. I also don’t know a whole lot about ace attorney but am curious about where you think that might be going!!! Every time i hear things about ace attorney i love them. so.

Along the lines of headcanons re: shiho vs Ai tho, I think for me I definitely have a bias toward the fact that it’s just such a unique and intriguing position to explore, to be someone aged down and re-grow up around one’s peers. I totally see the merit in coming terms to one’s past and returning to her old self in that way while forging herself a new life. I still have some appeal toward her staying as Ai, but I totally see where you’re coming from too!!

And i am so GLAD you feel like you like saguru a lot more now. He’s my good sweet son and I love seeing people appreciate him. I’d really love to understand more about his schooling in britain myself. I can never decide between him having been homeschooled by private tutors or having gone to fancy british public schools. EXTRA (tm) as it is, I’ve considered the possibility that he’s technically graduated in Britain, so his schooling in Japan is almost more for socialization purposes and reinforcing his understanding of how things work over there, since he’s spent so much more time in Britain. Explains why he gets away with just vanishing as Gosho tends to make him do without suffering too much academically.

anyway i digress i tend to just Talk About Saguru needlessly. Good luck on your work! Please don’t feel any pressure, I am genuinely very easy to please and I have no doubt that whatever you wind up creating for me will be very fun.

#a small essay???#none of my thoughts are very coherent #you are SUPER fun to talk to thank u so much for messaging me all these!!!!!#Anonymous

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existentialstatesofmind · 7 years

Conversation

Opening Up

Clare: thought having a job equaled freedom because you got paid and back home, at least, it meant you were more likely to be able to buy a car or insurance if your parents gave you one. Not that she knew how to drive yet. “Yeah, my parents won’t let me make work commitments. School always has to come first. So it all sounds pretty good to me. Except for the kids who don’t get a choice. That might not be so good. If they’re forced to grow up too quickly and miss out on playing with their friends after school. Having more responsibility probably doesn’t hurt the older kids though. I never felt like I had enough. It’s like they don’t trust me not to take on too much.” Clare didn’t have any problem keeping up with extracurriculars. Hadn’t she proven herself to them yet? She nodded in agreement. There would still be plenty of classes for her take next year, she would just be bored more often and they’d mostly be with the seniors. Clare didn’t know what she’d do during her actual senior year. It came right back to what they’d been talking about. “I probably will get lost at school. Unless you draw me a really good map.” She chuckled. “I’m more worried about in the city. Navigating the public transport will be an adventure in itself. It’s a very good thing you’re going to be there.” Clare carefully listened taking mental notes as Kota described what their daily schedule would be like. She probably wouldn’t take the midterm since the semester was already in progress. “Really? You don’t think they’re familiar with reporters? At all?” Clare tried to wrap her mind around this new information. “Okay, I wouldn’t have much time to help get it going if I did. That’s very interesting. I kind of wish we picked our student president that way instead of it being a regular popularity contest. Though it would take away the fun of campaigning…” It was also a longshot that you’d get the best person for the job every time. “Guess Yamamishi will be a fountain of information.” She said enthusiastically. “Oh my god.” Clare laughed. “I hope you’re right about it working that way. Thanks for the warning.” ” She really didn’t like that kind of attention. Directed at either one of them. Feeling like she had to compete with other girls in order to spend time with her own boyfriend or worse to keep him would drive her crazy. Clare knew Kota wouldn’t purposely put her in that situation. “Her Roman Holiday and Funny Face characters are the most like me.” She said honestly. “Who knows. She may have kept them in a container. We had a big plastic doll house so there was no hiding that.” Clare wondered if she should’ve pointed it out. She didn’t want to embarrass him by making it into a big deal. However, she was glad this was Kota’s first ever (romantic) exchange of ‘I love you’s’. She couldn’t stop smiling. “No, I know. You just said what you were feeling. I wasn’t planning to say those three words either. We’ve only been dating a few months. But I meant it. There’s a difference between loving someone and being IN love anyway. Definitely too soon…” She changed the subject and was glad when Kota stopped covering up his face. Clare shrugged when he said they could go. She thought it might be better for Jill to get some rest. She bit her lip at the mention of that particular song. It was one of two of Melanie Martinez’s songs that she related to all too well. Her smile returned when Kota started singing the least negative part of the song. She felt safe and secure in his arms, listening to his voice so it probably would’ve been okay if he’d sung the chorus. Clare nodded and stood up. “Sweet dreams.” She whispered to Jill as she passed by the young girl on her way out of the room. She stopped when she reached Makayla’s shrine. “Bye Makayla, I’ll talk to you soon. Keep you in the loop about how the school trip to Japan is going.” Clare glanced at the picture of Makayla and Kota. It was so awful, Makayla was gone way too soon. She would be missing out on everything. She turned to her boyfriend and squeezed his shoulder comfortingly. “I’ll meet you at the car.” Clare whispered in case Kota wanted to say goodbye privately. She quickly walked out of the house.

Kota: looked at Clare when she mentioned kids not having a choice. "It does suck when they don't have a choice, but for the most part they do." he assured. "I have read manga where there were girls who had to work because their family members were in debt or they inherited debt after losing their parents." he added though he wasn't sure how often that actually happened in Japan. Kota chuckled at Clare when she mentioned him drawing a map for her. "I don't need to. I can take you to all your classes and Natsumi already said she'd take you to home ec while I go to PE. Just never take her to pick up Emi they will actually try to enroll her since she's only a few inches taller than Emi." he explained though he knew she'd get used to everything while they were there. Hearing Clare mention the city caused him to chuckle. "It's ok, I'll be with you or someone will that won't let you get lost." he promised and listened when she mentioned reporters. "They are familiar with reporters, but adult reporters not kids our age so wearing your press pass will just stir up a lot of commotion. Teachers pry us to ask questions about things we're unfamiliar with, I missed an entire day of school because a teacher was curious about how I came up with the idea of Murder Bunny, how Murder Bunny became iconic since it's bigger in Japan, and a bunch of other questions. I didn't get in trouble, but I missed club activities and had to do both the school work I missed that day and homework by the following school day or I would fall behind, then the next day I was in charge of a school meeting because that teacher felt it would benefit that entire school so it was basically me on stage with a microphone answering questions from the entire student body like I was at an interview and even Yamamishi couldn't get me out of that situation, no one was able to join me on stage. Unless you want to go through everything I went through I'd ditch the idea of wearing a press pass." he said looking at her, he wouldn't want her to go through the same ordeal he had to. When Clare spoke about the roman dolls and assured him about not having anything to worry about with the exchange of those three words, he smiled. He watched as she said bye to Makayla and Jill, though he knew he was going to do the same since he often visits. Luckily for him, he caught up with Clare before she was in the car and joined her. "Where do you want to go? I guess you could say I have a client here to pick up a few dresses whenever I'm free which would allow you to see the company and I could give you a small tour. I could also take you to TU, we can sit in on a class and you could get a head start on everyone else or we could do whatever you want." he shrugged giving her some options.

#ou

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