#my ovaries are WEAK

[meltedheartz]

yesyes, i know my first few blogs were about izuku. i'll always love izuku. that's my mans. BUT PAUL ATREIDES IS SOOOO...

he'd totally love ftm!reader. you're such a determined little thing, scarred and rugged and all rough. you're hotheaded, easily irritable but still somewhat reasonable.

gods, paul would believe you're a fucking angel. you're really anything but, and you try to make that clear. but paul's a dummy!!! he doesn't care!! why would he? you're just soo perfect, he adores you.

course, when he gets his hands on you, reasons with the people and that shit emperor, he doesn't ever let go of you. :((

paul is always showering you with affection, learning how to cook just so he can be the one to please you :(((

he's a total fuckin' attention whore around you, all smiles and asking if he did any good when he does something specifically for you.

you, you, you.

as always, you tell him he did surprisingly well. over-achieving as usual, nothing new. and gods, he thanks you and asks for a reward for doing so well for you!!

it varies from all kinds of things.. eating you out from the front and back, fingerin' you, dry humping, all sorts of things...

paul is a total FREAK around you and he's a-okay with that ><

#heartz.png #heartz.png files #HE'S A WEIRDO #A TOTAL FREAK IN THE SHEETS #he's def a girl dad #idk i just get that feeling???? #don't ask #my ovaries are WEAK #specifically for curly haired men #AGHHHHH #trans male reader #ftm reader #paul atreides x you #paul atreides x male reader #paul atreides x black reader #yes reader is black #i don't wanna HEAR IT #paul atreides smut

[miles-alexander-teller]

#miles teller #war dogs #david packouz #istg im gonna scream #my ovaries #his flushed cheeks make me weak

[murdockbuckley]

it's that time of month where i cry about penguins (and cats) for a week

this tiktok is the reason for my tears this month

#god cursed me with ovaries and a uterus #and apparently means penguins are my weakness once a month

[fuck-i-burnt-the-tea]

𝑯𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝑭𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 - 𝑱𝒐𝒉𝒏𝒏𝒚 𝑫𝒆𝒑𝒑 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

Scenario: He hate fucks you after an argument

Warnings: rough sex, p in v sex, creampie, choking, degrading, make up sex, a bit of arguing in the beginning, reader is referred to as 'you' and is mentioned to be wearing a skirt, little bit of angst and fluff towards the end!

A/N: My ovaries are trembling, you're welcome. No context for the argument, you're also welcome ☺‼️ Since this is something rougher, I did include aftercare because it's so so SO important after sexual activities

"If you don't want me, I'll just find someone who does!" You yelled, getting close to him. You two were arguing in the living room, you don't even remember about what, but now Johnny was threatening to break up with you.

His chest grew tight at this. His eyes were locked on yours, a jealous twinkle reflected in them. "He won't be me though" He spoke like it was a threat, narrowing his eyes at you.

You decided to keep taunting him, "Jealous?" You asked with a smirk on your face.

He hated that you knew his weaknesses, hated that you knew you were his biggest weakness. "Shut up."

"Make me." You challenged, keeping that stupid smirk on your face

Something in him just broke, wanting to put you in your place. Within seconds it seemed, he had grabbed you by the waist, pushing you down onto the couch. Gently enough that he didn't hurt you, but rough enough for you to know he wasn't playing. "Don't play that game with me, princess." He warned, his voice deeper, but there was a clear edge of anger and jealousy to it.

"What game? If you let me go, I'm free to sleep with whoever I want." You were bluffing, but he didn't need to know that.

He gritted his teeth, this was getting under his skin now. "You wouldn't." He said, his voice was deep with a slight bit of rasp to it. It was clear he intended to keep you all for himself.

"Would I?" You continued to challenge him, hoping to break him, let his primal urges take over

"Better fucking not" He replied, letting his eyes linger over your body, before letting his hand move up your thigh, under your skirt, his hand stopping just short of your aching heat

You couldn't help but feel your pussy flutter around nothing at his touch. You were in such a vulnerable position, being under him with your legs slightly spread, it made your breathing turn heavy. "And what are you gonna do about it, pretty boy?" You teased, looking up at him with an innocent look on your face, even though nothing about this situation was innocent

"Gonna fuck that thought out of your pretty little head until you understand that I'm the only one who can have you," He warned, yanking your panties off. Two fingers rubbing against your wet cunt before pushing inside, making you gasp and arch your back at the intrusion, the pain quickly turning into pleasure as he worked his fingers against your g-spot. "The only one who could fucking touch you like this, could make you feel this good."

It didn't take long before his pants and boxers were discarded, and he pulled his fingers out of you. Your shirt pushed up by him as he unclipped your bra, setting your tits free. He rubbed the mushroom tip of his hard, leaking cock against your wet folds, before pushing it inside you while rubbing your clit. He barely gave you a chance to get used to his size before he was fucking into you roughly, your tits bouncing with each harsh slam of his hips.

You couldn't help the sounds that escaped your lips, moans and desperate pleas of "Don't stop, fuck, please, feels so good"

Everytime the tip of his cock brushed against that sweet spot inside you, you could swear you were seeing stars, but then he wrapped his dominate hand around your throat, his other hand on your waist, and gave it a small squeeze. God, it made your brain feel so fuzzy, like you were seconds away from falling off the edge.

"Would any other guy fuck you this good? Fuck you like the dumb slut you are? Fucking like that, huh?" He spoke, his words low.

He was so pussy drunk on you, on the way your cunt squeezed his cock, dirty nonsense just kept spilling from his mouth. "This what you wanted? Wanted me to fucking ravage you, make it so you can't walk tomorrow?" He said through pants and low groans, the sound of his hips slapping against you filling the room. He was so close, so fucking close.

He took his hand off your waist, still keeping the one on your throat there, and moving his thumb over your clit, desperately rubbing the sensitive bud, "Need you to cum with me, baby, cum while I fill you up" He wasn't asking, he was commanding.

The pleasure off all his actions were quickly building up, the fuzzy feeling in your head from his hand around your throat, his thumb rubbing your sensitive clit, and the rough thrusts of his cock inside you, it was all too much, the coil of pleasure in your stomach threatening to snap. "I'm so close... Johnny, 'm gonna cum" You cried, the pleasure overwhelming you

"Cum for me, princess" He demanded, and that's all it took for blinding pleasure to wash over you as you screamed his name, you could've swore your vision blacked out for a second. It took a few more sloppy thrusts before he pushed himself in deeply one last time, his sperm painting your walls.

You both were panting heavily, as he removed his hand from around your throat, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, then to your lips. "Was that okay, baby? Does it hurt anywhere?" He asked as he pulled his softening cock out of you.

You shook your head in reply, looking up at him. He just needed that little conformation that you weren't hurting before he cleaned you up. "Okay, I'm gonna get a warm washcloth to clean you up, stay here." He said with a smile before quickly leaving, coming back a minute later.

As he was cleaning you up, you spoke softly, "I'm sorry for what I said, I don't want anyone else, I just wanted to get a reaction out of you."

He smiled and kissed your forehead "I know, baby. I'm sorry too, I don't want to break up" He whispered, before planting another kiss against your lips. "I love you, more than anything."

As always, likes, follows, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated! Thank you for reading and supporting my work 🫶

☆ like what you've read? masterlist

#johnny depp x reader #johnny depp imagine #johnny depp love #johnny depp smut #smut

[band--psycho]

Harvey Specter x Reader- Comforting Cuddles

For the lovely anon who requested this a few days ago!

I hope you all enjoy this! 💛

Warnings-Periods, period pain, pain medication

Today was one of those days where I just wanted to stay snuggled up in bed; with a hot water placed on my stomach and an infinite amount of chocolate by my side whilst I binged watched an entire tv show. 

But that couldn’t happen.

I had a job to do.

And no matter how much pain I was in, no matter how much I just wanted to stay in bed, I couldn’t. 

~~~~

“Good morning,” Harvey beamed, gently kissing on the top of her head as he placed a coffee on my desk along with my favourite bagel. 

He knew what today was. 

It was the first day of my period; and he knew that, he also knew that the first day of my cycle was always the worst.

“Morning,” a weak smile formed on my lips as I leaned into Harvey; letting the warmth of his body somewhat soothe me. 

“You don’t have to be here,” he whispered; stroking my back soothingly, knowing how much pain I was in. 

“I have to work, Harv,” I sighed, trying to ignore the dull ache in my lower belly. In all honesty, I was hoping work would somewhat take my mind off of the pain.  

“Just take it easy,” I could see the worry in his eyes, so I just nodded my head, a silent promise that I would try. 

But being a female lawyer meant working twice as hard and dealing with the sexist remarks clients made. Even now, in this day and age, powerful men didn’t like being told what to do by a woman. 

So taking it easy, unfortunately was not in my repertoire for today, as much as I wanted it to be.  

~~~~~

Pain meds had done practically nothing to ease the pain my ovaries were giving to me, all they were doing was making me tired. 

And it was only midday, there was still so much more I needed to do today. 

“Your schedule is now clear for the rest of the afternoon,” Donna stated as she entered my office. 

“What?” I asked, completely and utterly bamboozled by what she had said. 

I knew my schedule certainly wasn’t clear for the rest of the afternoon. 

“I can see how much pain you’re in,” a sympathetic smile grew on her face, “go home, get some rest,”

“Donna, I appreciate it, but if Harvey-”

“He didn’t,” she interrupted me; and there was no hint of a lie in her voice or her eyes, nor did I think Donna would lie to me. 

“Donna you are a lifesaver,” I breathed, feeling a wave of relief wash over me. 

Tomorrow will be different, better. I just needed to get through today. 

And that was certainly going to be a lot easier now that I could just go home, get changed into my pjs and go to bed. 

~~~~~

As soon as I got home; I changed into the coziest pajamas I owned; made myself a hot water bottle and snuggled up in my bed. 

I was just dozing off to sleep when I heard my front door open; quickly followed by my bedroom door. 

I knew it was Harvey. He was the only person besides me who had a key to my flat. 

“How you feeling sweetheart?” He asked; pulling his trousers up slightly at his thigh so that he could lean down by the side of the bed I was lying on. 

He placed his hand on my cheek, his thumb began to rub small circles onto my cheek. I was exhausted and his touch was so gentle and soothing, I could’ve fallen asleep that very minute. 

“Like shit,” I mumbled; leaning into his touch. 

He leaned forward slightly, placing a delicate kiss on my lips before pulling away from me; the loss of his touch made my eyes snap open in confusion. 

A small smirk tugged at Harvey’s lips, obviously finding humor in my confusion, as he shrugged off his suit jacket; undid his tie and his white buttoned shirt. He then quickly undid his belt and pulled his suit trousers down; before grabbing his joggers that were draped over a chair from this morning. 

Before finally joining me in bed; where he made quick work of wrapping his arms around me, pulling me into his warm embrace. 

“Don’t you have work?” I didn’t want him to leave; but I also didn’t want him getting in trouble with work or losing or angering big clients because of me. 

“My only job for the rest of the day is looking after you,” he whispered; his lips placing a light kiss just under my ear. 

“Harvey-”

“Shhh, sweetheart, just relax,” he soothed; placing  another kiss under my ear. 

I could have argued with him; but I didn’t want to. I wanted him here. 

So for once; I was going to listen to Harvey, and just relax, with him by my side.

Tagging:

@xacatalepsyx @little-diable @rebelwrites @wild-rose-35 @withmyteeth @yn-ymn-yln @munsinner @maximoff-xmen @vintagecarsandrecordplayers @giraffescooler @stylesann @camilyb @book-dragon03 @bookworm1767 @wretchedmo @mayans-mc @dana-is-snax @happilysparklyunknown @samanthaofanarchy @mrsamerica @navs-bhat @tinystudentmiracle @that-one-enthusiast @malfoys-demigod

#harvey specter x reader #harvey specter #harvey specter imagines #harvey specter imagine #harvey specter suits #suits harvey specter #suits imagines #suits x reader #suits imagine

[padfootdaredmetoo]

Stop the World I Wanna Get Off With You

Tangerine X Reader

Please forgive me! I really wanted to see this in theaters and I had no idea what it was about other than thinking the brief trailer was cool. So when I realized that Aaron Taylor Johnson was in it... looking like that... I kid you not I thought I was going to lose not just my panties but also my ovaries. After watching it yesterday I had this idea in my head all day. So I apologize for not following my request order - and hopefully, you enjoy!

You’d worked with Tangerine and Lemon on and off for years. Always fighting narrowly missing each other's bullets. This time you found yourself striking up an alliance to get off this doomed train.

Working alongside Tangerine rather than against him gave you lots of opportunities to come to terms with what it was about him that made your heart race. 

Warning: Sex in a tiny train bathroom. Rough sex - filthy dialogue, Good aftercare. No big spoilers.

Song inspo - Stop The World I Wanna Get Off With You - Arctic Monkeys

Tangerine Master Post

The more undone he became the more you found your attention drifting to his strong forearms, or resisting yourself from brushing the dried blood from his collar bones. Every time you were separated he’d come back with another button lost making it very difficult to do your job. Frustration bloomed as the night dragged on. He never showcased it, but it was obvious to you he was taking extra care to keep you out of harm's way. which only made your internal feelings worse.  

Once it was all over and Lemon was fulfilling his dream of conducting, you excused yourself to go to the washroom. You moved a few cars down not wanting to be suffocated by everyone. You took a moment to lean against the sink and catch your breath. LadyBug was correct when he said that this would take a lot of time to process. You were pulled from your thoughts by a soft rhythmic knock at the door. 

“Occupied.” You mumbled thinking it ridiculous that this was the bathroom, out of the entire bloody train, that someone wanted. 

“Come on love, it's the secret knock. Only me, open up.” Tangerine rambled. You let out a groan no way you were sharing a closet-sized space with him, for any amount of time. The thought already had you weak in the knees. You opened the door and felt yourself be pressed up against the wall as his large frame slid inside. He quickly shut and locked the door before settling his gaze on you. 

“What’s this then?” You mumbled, already feeling a flush creeping up your neck. 

“You know,” He said wiggling his eyebrows. When you didn't respond he gave you a more serious look. “You looked right at me.” He stated feeling as if this settled everything. 

“What?” You tried to keep your breathing under control as he moved closer to you. 

“When you said you were going to the loo, you looked at me. Universal signal love. So how do you want to do this then.” His cocky gaze was focused on your slightly parted lips. You were almost entirely certain at no point did you look at him when announcing you were going to the bathroom. 

You wanted to argue, well, that’s a lie. You'd wanted this desperately.

Instead, you leaned up attempting to close the distance between the two of you. His hand grabbed your jaw and suddenly he turned you both around in a spinning maneuver that you bent over the sink once more. 

His hands found the back of your thighs and you shivered as he slowly moved up past the hem of your skirt. 

“Would have had this fucking job done in half the time if it wasn't for this stupid fucking skirt.” You didn't have anything left in you to form words as his hand landed a firm smack on your ass cheek. He let out a loud groan. “Been wanting to do that for fucking ages.” 

“Just like you’ve wanted me right here for ages.” His fingers trailed their way inside your swollen wet folds causing a hearty moan to leave your mouth. 

“Don’t need to waste time here do I?” It was arrogant, but his eyes brought the tender reality of what he was saying to your attention. 

“No - I want -” You gasped as his rough fingers ran over your clit. Your legs were shaking and you knew that you were in no shape for rowdy hate sex in a cramped bathroom. He seemed to know this too as he gently lifted you to rest against the sink. Your eyes were closed as you focused on the sensation of his mustache tickling your neck. After a quick moment, his head was back up and his hand was pinching your jaw again. Keeping your head tilted up to him. You were lost as to why he wasn't kissing you until you felt him push into your hot center. You tried to keep composure, tried to be normal, but feeling him stretch you open you felt your walls crumble down. He groaned as he watched your face contort in pleasure, tears forming at the corners of your eyes. 

“Look at me” he demand softly, you opened your wet eyes to meet his as you felt him bottom out inside you. 

“Fuck” You gasped at the sensation of being so full. Feeling him pulse inside you, getting off on your pleasure, it was almost enough to make you cum right there. He started to move inside you, and your body surrendered to him. It was a slow pace, and when your eyes focused you could see him looking you over making sure you could handle it. 

Decided you could take a little more, he picked you up turning you both around till your back met the wall. His hands gripped your ass cheeks painfully as he set a deeper more violent pace. His body was flush against you, and you felt the softness of your heaving chest meet his hard muscles. It was too much for you to handle and your body started to seize up awkwardly with nothing to brace against. He quickly shifted you bringing your leg over his shoulder, forcing an even wilder reaction from you. 

“There’s a good girl. Knew you had some fight left over just for me” he praised you while ripping you in half, fighting your body into position as it spasmed. “That’s it, let go love. Won’t let you fall” 

That was all it took for your body to snap. Your pleasure ripped through you sending you into almost painful contractions. He weathered them perfectly keeping himself as deep inside you as possible. You were still at an impossible high as he upped the pace trying to find his own release within your hot walls. The angle and intensity was enough for you to feel another wave of hot pressure begin to build. 

“You going to cum again - fuckin hell.” He found it in himself to fuck you even harder. “That little cunt wants to help squeeze me off, doesn't it, love.” 

“Yes fuck - fuck -” Your body choked on your words as it twisted itself into knots. 

“Hold yourself there for me” he barked into your neck placing a painful bite into your soft skin. Keeping yourself on the edge was becoming more and more impossible. You felt his pace get sloppy and his groans sunk into your skin. “Let go, love, FU-ck that’s it. Help me off - fuck” your body tightened around him and you felt him spill deep inside you. 

“Jesus - I’m taking you home with me - fuck” Shallow deep thrusts kept you entangled in your orgasm trapped against the wall for what felt like an eternity. 

You went limp and he took your weight easily. Placing you down on the toilet keeping you upright. Once he was sure you were able to keep yourself up he turned away to get himself sorted. You started cleaning yourself up assuming he’d leave. 

You looked up only to find him wrestling with one of the top cupboards, eventually pulling out a large red case. He helped you sit on the small bench near the door, and started cleaning and bandaging up your cuts. 

“Should have started with this.” he criticized himself softly while wrapping a gash on your thigh. 

“I’m not complaining.” You said finally pressing a kiss to his lips. 

“Don’t start with that now, love. Don’t think you could handle another round.” He brushed your hair behind your ear. Once satisfied your wounds were taken care of he picked you up and carried you to a seat. You expected him to go, but again he only kept you tucked against his chest, firm arms keeping you comfortable. 

“Missions over.” You reminded him. 

“Not off the fucking train yet, love,” he mumbled into your hair. Suddenly your mind wandered to the various situations you had run into the two of them and wondered if he’d always missed on purpose. You always walked away from your entanglements with minimal damage…. What if that was intentional? You let sleep take you and hoped that he’d be around when you woke up. 

_____

She was out cold and I couldn't bring myself to let her go with nothing but that tiny skirt covering her cunt. 

Lemon’s eyes met mine from a few seats over. He gave me a look telling me off for what had obviously happened. I flipped him off with a look of warning. 

Been after that ass for years, and now she was asleep in my arms, I wasn't letting her go for anything. There was a tense moment of eye contact filled with secret threats only brothers would be able to understand. 

Eventually, he got up and walked over. His fingers brushed against her shirt collar and a Paxton sticker was looking back up at him. 

Paxton was sweet, the kindest, and needed protecting sometimes. An honest assessment really, but he was very sure that he’d never come across a train in the yard that compared to you. You didn't need protection, Paxton was a diesel, but he figured what Lemon was trying to say was that I'd looked good keeping her out of harm's way. Paxton was one of the best, it wouldn't make sense to let her go. But there were lots of obligations waiting for me on the other side, if anything it was stupid to think she'd have anything less waiting for her.

___________________

After three long nights of entanglement with Tangerine, you woke up alone. Business was calling and while he didn't express it you knew by the way he'd kissed you all night and kept you pinned to his side. Sadness crept into your bones when your fingers discovered a gold chain around your neck.

Gone for now, but sure to be back for more.

You got out of Japan and knew it didn't matter where you landed, he’d find you the first chance he got.

----

How can someone be this hot??

#tangerine #tangerine x reader #tangerine smut #bullet train #bullet train imagine #aaron taylor johnson #bullet train movie

[0lshadyl0]

Any HCs or scenarios on Yandere Hancock boa ?? I think she an interesting character 🥰

Of course, my dear, she is a fascinating character, in fact, she is my favorite female character after Nico Robin, I am weak to black haired women with cool powers and sad past.

Yandere Boa Hancock headcanons

• Brave of you to assume that she is not a yandere in the canon, that is, she has all the points to follow for her character to be a yandere, especially a delusional yandere

• sad past with traumatic events, no friends, position of power, no one contradicts her, she gets lost in her own fantasies, lives in her own reality and obsesses over a person beyond what is sanely possible, yeah she checks all the marks 

• But, she would only become obsessed with her romantic interest if he has a very specific personality (for example, Luffy)

• Ok, let's say that the key for her to fix her eyes on you is that you have heroic tendencies, that is, she likes people with a good heart, willing to do what others would consider crazy in order to help others. the others (such as hitting a Tenryūbito, better yet, killing one)  

• or just a very kind person with a great charisma, very positive mind but who doesn't take shit from anyone

• if things happened naturally, I'm pretty sure Hancock would be obsessed with a woman, Luffy is an exception to the rule (call it the power of the script thanks to being the protagonist of the series)

• Let's remember that the first men in her life that she met were the Tenryūbito and they are the worst experiences that a young woman like Boa could have, emotionally, physically and sexually (I'm 200% sure that she was raped by a good number of them, that's why despite being in love with Luffy she never sees herself having children with him… probably she can't even get pregnant due to irreparable damage to her sexual organ or simply they removed the ovaries so that she could not get pregnant by the Tenryūbito since she was a slave and the slaves are not worthy of having a child with a being as noble as a Tenryūbito is)

• Anyway, when she fixes her eyes on you, in her head she already begins to live in a world apart

• You've probably seen each other a maximum of five times and most of it in battles, possibly you saved her from some dangerous situation but not paying much attention to her, but in her head, you two are already engaged

• Yes, she is the type of women who, from a very young age, dreamed of getting married and having a large family full of love, a dream that has been transformed into only having a partner to love and be loved by because of the Tenryūbito and all their shit

• She is a relatively easy yandere to deal with, since the word of her s/o is divine law for her, she will never question you, nor will she go against you, she will not hesitate to put herself in danger or give her life for you, she literally will kill for you

• But, keep in mind, she is very jealous and in an unjustified way, nobody can look at you because she is already asking questions and imagining scenarios where you abandon her.

• Because, despite all that she says about being the most beautiful woman in the world, she actually has low self-esteem due to her past as a slave, she doesn't feel that she is worthy of you, because she is dirty

• But if you tell her that you are not interested in that person or deny knowing about the existence of the person who made her jealous, she will believe you without a shadow of a doubt.

• You can tell her that the sky is green and for her, yes, ultimately the sky is green and she will turn anyone who says otherwise into stone

• She is a stalker, she will follow you everywhere and will always be watching you, of course, at a respectful (Hinata-Naruto style) distance if the two of you get into a relationship, she will stick to you like gum, she is unbelievably clingy and has no idea of the meaning of personal space

• She is one of the few yanderes who have no sexual intentions, because she is traumatized with sex (she has never known about vanilla sex or consent) and considers it torture, she loves you too much to do you any kind of harm

• Oh, but if she were to get over her traumas and discover that sex can be enjoyed and is a way to stay connected to the one she loves, man, get ready for a long ride

#shady answer #one piece #yandere one piece #yandere posts #one piece headcanons #yandere x reader #yandere hancock #yandere boa hancock #yandere boa hancock x reader #one piece imagine #one piece boa hancock #boa hancock

[iloveyouphillipmorris]

UPDATED POST, PLEASE CONSIDER AIDING A DISABLED TRANS MAN

i previously made this post explaining the situation before i understood if fully.

i had to quit my job as once i became disabled, my bosses began to treat me even worse and demanding labour from me i had explained i could not do. they were cruel and callous.

i have been diagnosed with a very severe case of sciatica, creating a complete weakness in my legs that is often accompanied by a sharp burning pain all over. i cannot move the right side of my body too much or it will give out.

i am mentally suffering due to this. i have been described by my family and friends as hardly making any sense n my they have all communicated that i sound deeply unwell as if my patterns of thought are not communicating with each-other and hence are not effectively speaking.

i am entirely without work and am struggling to draw for comissions or anything like that. this is is a DIRE emergency situation that i need help with immediately. presently i am suffering thru the pain of severe sciatica which has begun attacking my ovaries and pelvic region, fibromyalgia, and rhumatoid arthritis.

PLEASE SHARE THIS IS YOU CAN AND HELP IF YOU CAN, IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME.

#plz help me #dcu #house md #mash 1970 #i'm sorry i'm posting this in tags i'm active in #john cassavetes

[rocknrollbabe14]

Sad Eyes (Doctor!Joe x Nurse!Reader) Part One

Rating: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. 

Warnings: cursing, mention of medical procedures and illnesses, one-bed trope, a lot of unprotected sex (be smart folks), oral sex (female receiving), creampie, ex-lovers--if I forgot anything let me know. 

**I have been working on this for a long time. I started with the present day and will be working my way back through their past, switching between the past and present-day as you'll soon learn their past (and present-day) is and will become very complicated!**

***Also special thanks to @josephs-quinns for making my header! I love you!***

Also inspired by the song I linked above.

It was hard to focus on checking the charts at the end of your shift, one of the vital steps of preparing for the next shift to come on. You kept hearing chattering about how Dr. Joseph Quinn, your ex-fiancé had been asked to speak in Boston for the John Hopkins award ceremony about his continued research of curing type 1 diabetes in children and even being nominated for the Lasker Award, which granted, was a huge deal. Especially for your hospital. 

In a surprising twist of fate, you all had ended up in the same facility, working together. Once again. At the end of the day, you all made a great team but it was hard to be in the same room with him. You were one of the charge nurses. Lately, you had been working the night shift since you were so short, and waking Dr. Quinn up was like waking the devil up some nights. All your co-workers dreaded calling, leaving the unwanted task to you. You didn’t mind—any chance to get under his skin was fun for you.

And you’d only call if it was warranted. For instance, the child was not getting better regardless of your interventions. The ones you could do without the doctor’s orders. You knew what he liked, what he preferred for his patients. If the child continued to decline, you’d call. He’d come in, sulking as usual. He wouldn’t greet you. It pissed you off, but as long as the patient was taken care of, there wasn’t much you could say. Before leaving, he’d give you orders in a monotone before either leaving as fast as he came or sticking around to see if the child improved, charting his interventions.

He was a good doctor—a great doctor when it came to interacting with children, talking to them in a soft voice, and explaining things on their level. He’d make them laugh, and make small talk about their favorite toys. You hated to watch him interact with children because it made you want to forget how he wronged you. It made your ovaries hurt, reminding you at one point that could have been in your future. It pained you slightly, making you look away before continuing your work. 

“Hey Y/N.”, a fellow nurse, Rachel got your attention.

“Please tell me a child is not crashing.”, you groaned, barely looking up from your paperwork.

“No—Dr. Quinn is asking to speak to you.”

You sighed, rubbing your face. “Where is he?”

“Doctor’s dictation.”

You nodded, getting up from your chair. He was here unusually early this morning. However, he was a morning person. He’d go for runs before work, coming home to take a quick shower. You remembered it well. Some mornings, he’d wake you up before his shower and it would end in sex. There was something about him being all sweaty and warm, his cologne from the night before mixed with the musk of his natural pheromones. 

You knocked on the door easily.

“Come in.”

You opened it easily, closing your eyes and preparing for the tongue-lashing. “What did I do this—?”

“Nothing.”, he responded easily, getting up and closing the door back. “I have a proposition for you.”

“And what’s that?”, you crossed your arms, trying to refrain from rolling your eyes.

He smiled that charming smile, the one that he knew made you weak in the knees. “Well, I’m up for the Lasker Award. And I’ve been asked to speak at John Hopkins about my ongoing research regarding curing type one diabetes in children.”

“The whole hospital knows that.”, you groaned, grabbing the door knob.

You were clearly not in the mood to put up with this tom-foolery. 

“But I need a plus one.”, he eyed you, putting his hand over yours. 

You glared at him. “And you don’t have someone you could call? A charming, handsome doctor with money?”

“It would be a good team-building experience for us.”

“Did you finally get reprimanded for your behavior?”

You moved your hand from the doorknob, crossing your arms, and deciding to finally hear him out. 

He laughed easily, brushing through his curls. “I just know there’s been a lot of tension between us. And I want to try and make it better.”

Was he serious? Where was the Joseph that had been here for weeks? You felt the slight tension in the air, pondering this idea.

“The hospital’s going to pay for everything. This won’t go against your paid time off.”

“Separate hotel rooms?”

He nodded. Were you really about to give in and do this? Part of you began to think you’re psycho and the other half was debating the free food, free room, and a small break from the mundane work of being a nurse. But you truly loved working with kids even if the doctor you had to deal with was your ex and an ass at times.

“Fine. When are we leaving?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

He nodded. “Go home and pack. Our flight boards at nine in the morning. Also, pack some dresses. One for the awards. Some for dinner.”

You nodded, giving him a confused look. “Okay.”

“Be at the airport at eight?”

“Yeah, see you then. Goodnight—well good morning, Dr. Quinn.”

“Joe.”

“Dr. Quinn.”, you looked back at him as you opened the door, closing it gently behind you. 

All the nurses were waiting for you to start huddle. Trying to gain your footing was hard, especially after being riddled with the suggestions Joe had. You weren’t used to him being nice anymore. Lately, he had been an asshole. Especially when he had been on a date a month ago, you had to call and interrupt because one of the children was crashing and fast. He came right in, suit and all. You explained everything that had happened, keeping good notes and keeping up with the child’s vitals.

He decided to intubate on the floor, sending the child straight to the ICU. You helped with the intubation, giving him the medicine and supplies he needed. You both worked together like a well-oiled machine contrary to popular belief. He did at least tell you that you had made the right call even if you knew that already. He said his date was out in the car as if he was trying to make you jealous. It may have worked slightly, but you didn’t let him know that. 

After giving a report to the dayshift charge nurse, you went home. You stripped out of your uniform before getting a quick shower and washing your hair. Wrapping yourself in a towel, you began to pack for this trip. Part of you was still in disbelief you had agreed to do this. This was going to be a long few days and you weren’t quite sure how you were going to survive.

Another pediatrician agreed to pick up Joe’s load of patients, another nurse covering your shifts. You knew there was going to be talk about you both going together, but right now you didn’t care. That wasn’t your biggest issue at hand. The next morning you caught a cab to the airport, still trying to wake up. A text popped up on your phone.

-On your way to the airport?

How did Joe have your phone number? Granted, you hadn’t changed it since you all had dated. But then you remembered you had to call him from your personal cell phone while the phone lines were down one night. 

-Yeah, should be there in 10-15.

It was just a second before another message popped up.

-Brill. See you soon. X

You rolled your eyes lightly as you continued to make small talk with the cab driver. It wasn’t long before you arrived at the airport, unloading your suitcase before making your way into the airport. You checked which gate you were leaving from again on your phone. Dropping your checked bag off was the easy part. Moving through the crowd of people wasn’t the first thing you wanted to do in the morning but here you were. You checked the gate number on your phone again, making sure you were in the right spot. 

Butterflies began to rise in your stomach, and the nerves beginning to set in. You scanned the airport for any signs of Joe but didn’t see him. You felt someone tap your shoulder, causing you to jump and turn around.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s fine.”, you brushed your shirt easily.

“I brought coffee. Your favorite, iced mocha latte.”

“Thanks, but you didn’t have to.”

“I know,”, he began easily, setting his bag near yours. “I thought it was a kind gesture.”

You knew you were giving him a weird look. Since when did he make “kind” gestures for you? It was something you weren’t used to. Not anymore. That ship sailed when he decided to leave and chose his career over his fiancee. 

“Thanks.”

It was tense and quiet between you both as you stood there, waiting for the announcement that your group was able to board. You sipped your iced coffee in silence, the awkwardness taking over. It felt like an eternity before they finally called your group number, Joe allowing you to go first. You closed your eyes, moving with the cord of people. This was going to be a long plane ride. Yours and Joe’s seats were together, him letting you choose whether you wanted the aisle or the window.

You chose the window, instantly stowing your purse below your seat. Joe was up, still working on putting his carry-on and yours in the overhead compartment. Trying to divert your attention was hard. Joe was tall but he was stretching, his shirt riding up. You swallowed hard, looking away just as you gained a glimpse of his stomach and happy trail. Memories instantly rushed through your head—waking up with him in the morning, your head on his chest. He’d wake up and ask you how you were before you both shared a lazy kiss before he’d pull you on top of him, whispering for you to fuck him before work. 

“Got them.”, Joe breathed a sigh of relief, bringing you out of your daydream. 

“Great.”, you smiled widely, the awkwardness apparent. 

You focused on the other passengers boarding the plane, focusing in and out on the small talk you were sharing with Joe. Once everyone was boarded, the pilot began to read off the usual flight instructions as he prepared for take off. It had been a while since you had flown on a plane. The last time for Christmas to see your parents for a few days after, considering doctors and nurses never had a holiday. Joe could tell you were tense as the plane soared down the runway. 

“Feeling okay?”

As if he really cared about your feelings or fears.

“Fine.”

“You’re knuckles are turning white.”, he eyed them on the armrest. 

“I’m fine.”, you repeated with a slight nip in your voice.

He threw his hands up easily, resolving and backing off. “Okay.”

Once the plane got in the air and the turbulence settled, you felt some relief. There was silence between you and Joe for a bit and you hoped if maybe you closed your eyes, he’d leave you alone. Somehow, you ended up falling asleep. All you remember was waking up to the announcement that the plane would begin preparing to land soon at Baltimore-Washington International Airport. 

“Get a good nap?”, Joe asked with a smirk, peering over glasses and up from his papers. 

“Um, yeah. I was exhausted.”, you mumbled, sitting up and hoping you hadn’t snored or drooled all over the place.

“Didn’t you sleep?”, his voice was half condescending. 

“Night shift sucks.”

He nodded. “So does getting woken up in the middle of the night.”

You glared easily, narrowing your eyes. “At least you get paid well.”

“Mhm,”, he agreed. “I just love being woken up by your voice at two a.m.”

You felt your heart drop down into your stomach, opening your mouth to give a sarcastic response but you were interrupted by the pilot announcing you all would be preparing for landing, the plane descending quickly. That was the worst part for you after all the ear infections and trouble you had with your ears as a child. Joe didn’t speak to you, just watching you plug your ears. Landing was miserable for you. You counted down the minutes until it would be over.

After what felt like an eternity, you landed successfully. Joe grabbed your all’s bags from the overhead compartment, letting you go in front of him. What a gentleman, was chivalry dead? The airport was busy, full of hustle and bustle. 

“Want to grab something to eat or something before we grab our bags and head to the hotel?”

It had taken six hours to complete the flight from Portland to Baltimore. 

“Fine.”, you agreed.

You seemed to be distant, not talking much while you all sat at the bar called Martini. He ordered his usual—a filthy martini while you opted for your usual, a pina colada. He watched as you took a bite of your sandwich before chasing it down with a sip from your drink. Your eyes shot over to him, causing him to look away. He could remember the mornings you’d make him breakfast on the days you were off, sitting beside him at the bar in the kitchen. 

It was a kind gesture that always made his mornings better. He’d take a sip of coffee before you both leaned in for a kiss.

“Want another drink, Joe?”, you asked, springing him out of his daydream.

The waiter eyed you both attentively, waiting for a response. You both agreed to another cocktail before agreeing this would be the last one. You wanted to get to the hotel and get settled in before his dinner plans came about. This would give you the chance to freshen up, maybe grab a shower and a quick nap. The waiter brought the ticket, you snatching it up before Joe could.

“What are you doing?”

“Seeing how much my part is.”, you slurred lightly before opening your wallet and digging for your cash.

“Don’t worry about it. I got it.”, he wrestled to grab the ticket from your hand. 

“No, you’re not paying for my stuff. Just because I’m a nurse doesn’t mean I’m poor.”

He eyed you, his brown eyes open in surprise. “I never said you’re poor. I’m just trying to do something nice for you.”

“Why? Because you talk to me like shit on the phone?”

You gasped as the sentence left your mouth, never intending to say it. You were thinking it, but the alcohol had decided that you would open your mouth and insert your foot. Drunk words were sober thoughts or some shit like that.

Joe eyed you, his brain trying to process everything. 

“I mean—I know I’m kinda a jerk on the phone sometimes.”

“Joe.”

“No, you’re absolutely right. I’m an asshole.”, he chuckled bluntly before throwing back the rest of his drink. 

You sighed, beginning to feel guilty for even saying it. If you could take your spiteful words back, you would have. Looking down at your phone, you began to feel awkward. Maybe you should have stayed in Portland, never coming with him in the first place. You knew better—you knew how this was going to play out. There were still deep-seated feelings of betrayal and hurt between you both. No small trip was going to fix that. 

“I didn’t mean it.”, you said easily, fiddling with your fingers. 

Joe chuckled to himself before looking up at you. “Those were real words. Your real feelings about how you feel that I treat you.”

You groaned. “I’m a little tipsy.”

“But tipsy enough to tell me basically you feel like I treat you like shit.”

“You do.”

“Do not.”

“Do so.”, you eyed him.

“How?”

“Can we please just drop it?”, you groaned, grabbing your purse. 

“Fine.”, Joe resolved, clearly looking defeated.

You all got up, Joe looking on his phone to get an Uber. Grabbing your luggage, it was finally time to go to the hotel. You bit your lip, trying to focus on the fact that soon you’d be in your own hotel room and you could decompress. You could be alone in your thoughts, maybe get yourself together. There was hardly any conversation between you both as waited for the Uber.

“What kind of vehicle is it?”, you asked, looking away from him.

“Um, black Toyota Camry.”

“I think this is it.”, you muttered as you grabbed your suitcase. 

You and Joe opened the back doors simultaneously.

“Quinn?”, the driver asked.

“Yes, that’s me.”, Joe said easily, fixing his glasses.

He was super casual today, wearing glasses and a baseball cap. He looked good in his t-shirt and button-up, jeans, and tennis shoes. You’d never known he was a doctor by just looking at him. You closed your eyes, buckling up and mentally cursing yourself for thinking about how good he actually looked. There was no way you were going to be wrapped back up in this trap again. Not with him. You couldn’t do this. You could barely be civil at work.

You looked out the window, trying to avoid him at all costs.

“So traveling for work or pleasure? A couple getaway?”

“Um—”

“No. We’re traveling for work.”, you interrupted.

Joe shot you a look as the driver seemed to sense the tension between you both. There was some small talk as you all took the twenty-minute drive to the hotel you were staying at. You couldn’t wait until this car ride was over so you could have some distance and space. You needed a hot bath and maybe some wine. The wine sounded really good. 

You all pulled up to the entrance of the hotel, the driver announcing you had arrived. Joe grabbed both of your suitcases, unloading them as the driver waved goodbye and drove away. 

“I can take my stuff.”

He handed it to you without putting up any fight or argument. You walked ahead of him, anxious to get to your room. Joe couldn’t help but look at you, your jeans fitting tighter than your scrubs did. He swallowed hard, trying to distract himself and look anywhere else but your body. He could remember you coming home after work while he was on call. You in the scrubs that hugged your body just right, he’d instantly beg to fuck you. He’d feel up on you while you hung your coat up and put your purse away. 

“We have reservations.”, you spoke, bringing Joe back to reality.

“Name please.”

“Joseph Quinn.”, Joe spoke up, standing behind you.

“Okay. A room with a king-size bed.”, the receptionist eyed the computer, clicking through a few things with her mouse.

“I’m sorry? There’s supposed to be two rooms.”, you spoke up. 

The clerk stopped, looking up at you. “I’m sorry. We are all booked up. That’s what your reservation was for.”

You looked back at Joe, feeling as if he had lied to you. You weren’t surprised by this behavior. It wasn’t the first time he had misled you. 

“I thought you said it was two rooms.”

“It was. The hospital must have made a mistake—maybe they thought I was the only one going. Are you sure there are no other rooms available?”, he pushed his glasses up on his nose.

“I’m sorry sir. This is the only room we have available.”

“But there was supposed to be one for me and one for my nurse.”

You rolled your eyes at him before turning back to the clerk. “Does this have a sofa sleeper?”

Your grip tightened on the handle of your suitcase. In the back of your mind, you knew there was an ulterior motive. He was trying to be sneaky—he knew this entire time that there was only one bed in the room. Closing your eyes, you could feel the anger rise in your chest. You were so over this damn trip already. What the hell were you thinking when you agreed to go with him?

“Yes, mam.”

“Fine.”, you agreed, looking at Joe before crossing your arms. “Just—let’s take it. I’m tired.”

“Are you sure?”, Joe turned to look at you.

“Yes. Where else are we gonna go? The hospital paid for it. Let’s just take it.”

“Okay, fine.”, Joe turned back to the receptionist, before taking the keys from her. “Thank you, darling.”

“Of course.”

Joe grabbed his suitcase at the same time you grabbed yours. Feeling infuriated, you walked ahead of him to the elevator. Pressing the button for the elevator, you let out a loud sigh. Joe noticed but chose to ignore it. He knew you were pissed off at him. Even though, none of this was his fault. The elevator dinged, arriving at the lobby. Stepping inside, you were the only two in the elevator. It was complete silence until you arrived at the sixth floor. 

Exiting the elevator, you pulled out your key to unlock the door. Joe could tell in your body language you were angry with him. He had seen it one too many times while you both were together. You threw the door open a little aggressively. He followed behind you, carefully closing the door behind you both. Now, you were locked in a room with him. For how many hours? 

“I’ll take the couch. You can have the bed.”, Joe said easily. 

“Fine.”, you responded. 

Joe eyed you, watching you open your suitcase and take out your clothes and toiletry bag before going straight into the bathroom and closing the door behind you. He sat down on the couch, feeling defeated. Somehow, he had still managed to fuck up and you all weren’t together. He leaned back against the couch as he heard you start the water. He closed his eyes, trying not think about you in the shower. How could you be so close yet so far away?

Squeezing his eyes tighter, he tried to shove the thoughts of water running down your body out of his mind. He groaned as he felt his cock twitch just at the thought of you naked. He couldn’t do this—not here, not now. 

“Fuck.”, he hissed, palming the bulge in his jeans—anything to get it to disappear.

Trying to focus his attention elsewhere, he grabbed his papers from his briefcase while looking down at the copy of his speech. It was handwritten, several lines crossed out and rewritten. He had worked on it endless nights—perfecting it. Most nights, he had barely drifted off before you were calling him to come back to work. Continuing to hear the water run, he looked down and began to read his speech from the beginning aloud. 

He managed to run through it three times before he finally heard the water shut off. The sound of you sliding the shower curtain across the metal rod reached his ear. He bit his lip, waiting for you to throw open the door. It was quiet for a few minutes before he heard you open the door, smelling the scent of your body wash and perfume waft out of the bathroom behind you. He was fighting the urge to turn and look at you. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”, you asked easily. 

“Tell you what?”

Joe was surprised you were even speaking to him. 

“There was only one room.”

During your shower, you had tried to talk yourself down before confronting him. You didn’t want to lose your cool on him. You had to work with him every day. 

“I didn’t know.”, Joe said honestly as he looked up at you, his eyes over his glasses. 

“I’ve heard this lie before.”, you laughed sarcastically. “Like when you said you had no idea you were going to have to relocate to Portland to be an attending in one of the most prestigious programs, becoming the head of pediatrics.” 

You folded your clothes from the day, your lace gown brushing above your thighs. You didn’t make eye contact with him.

“I—”

“Please just save it, Joe.”

Joe’s mouth dropped open, face crinkling in confusion. “Y/N.”

“No—you act like it’s such an inconvenience. Like your life is so hard. It must be so hard—such a burden to be a doctor. You have to worry about giving a speech about your ongoing research to cure type one diabetes in children. Oh—and be nominated for the Lasker Award. I’m so sorry your life is so hard, doctor.”, you spat bitterly. 

Joe scoffed before laughing bitterly in return. “This is a huge deal for me—for my career. This could change children’s lives. It could change medicine as we know it. I’ve worked hard—so fucking hard to be here and you’re not going to downplay it and take this away from me. I refuse for it to happen.”

You turned to see the fire in his brown eyes, narrowing your own. You had struck a nerve in him. You felt the anger rising in your chest. He could and would never accept accountability for his actions. Why couldn’t he just admit he was wrong? His pride always got in the way.

“Right. I forgot. You always choose your fucking career. It’s the most important thing in your life, isn’t it? More important than the people you love.”, you placed your hands on your hips. 

Joe groaned, rolling his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration and closing his eyes. This reminded him so much of fights you all would have at night once he got home from being on call. It was exhausting, he hated fighting with you. Your whole relationship was far from perfect, but he felt like you all were worth fighting for. 

“Does it keep you warm at night?”

“Y/N.”, Joe said in a low tone, begging you to stop while you were ahead.

“Do you enjoy going to bed alone?”

“Y/N.”, he repeated, coming closer.

“Do you have a good fucking time jerking yourself off? That’s all you’re ever going to have. Especially if you continue to choose your career over the woman you supposedly loved.”

“For fucks sake!”, Joe snapped before grabbing your waist, pushing you against the wall. 

You tried to protest, asking him what the hell he thought he was doing before his lips crashed into yours, you instantly melting into his kiss. You hated yourself for it, the old familiar feeling returning. It felt so wrong, but felt so right. Your tensed muscles relaxed as one hand found your waist, the other cupping your cheek. His hands were strong, large as your mind remembered they knew your body. He had memorized every curve, every freckle, every imperfection. But it was all perfect to him. 

He pulled away, breaking the kiss as you looked up at him. Your eyes were locked into each other’s, neither one breaking contact. 

Your face was crinkled in confusion. “Joe, what the—?”

He cut you off, his lips crashing back into yours. You didn’t fight it, part of you didn’t want to. It felt just like old times, the familiarity returning. It was like coming home after being gone for months. You had missed it whether you wanted to admit it or not. You had missed him. It felt like you both were miles away from each other even if you worked together on a daily basis. He pressed you closer against the wall, bringing his body closer to yours, eliciting a small moan from you. He chuckled lightly into the kiss.

Joe’s hands moved from your waist, trailing lightly down to the hem of your short-laced gown. You felt his fingers brush the midline of your thigh before he caressed your thigh, pulling the gown up in the same motion. He moved his hands until the gown was near your breasts. He wanted to squeeze them so bad—he was going to, if you’d let him. You broke the kiss momentarily, long enough for him to pull the gown up and over your head, leaving you only in your laced thong panties. 

“Fuck—a thong?”, Joe eyed you, brown eyes gleaming in the low light. 

“Yeah.”, your breath hitched easily. 

“So sexy—I know you wear them at work.”

Your eyes narrowed. “And how so?”

Joe chuckled again, feeling you pull at the hem of his t-shirt. He allowed you to pull it up and over his head, careful not to knock his glasses off his nose. You admired his chest, tossing his shirt to the side before running your hands over his chest. He inhaled sharply, closing his eyes before you brushed your hands down to his abdomen. He had to have been working out, running or maybe the gym.

“Because,”, his breathing caught. “You wear tighter scrub pants and I can always see the line of the thong trailing up your perky, tight ass.”

“You look at my ass?”

He chuckled again before shrugging. “Yeah, I love to see you walk away. What can I say?”

You rolled your eyes, reaching for the button on his jeans. “You men are pigs.”

“No—I just admire the view. If you’re gonna wake me up in the middle of the night, I should get something out of it.”

You undid the button on his jeans, feeling them go slack. “Nice to know.”

“Look,”, Joe groaned as he felt you unzip the zipper, finding the rest of his happy trail. “Do you know how many times I have to bite my tongue because other residents, other attendings are talking about how they wanna get in your pants?”

You paused, meeting his eyes. “They say that?”

He nodded. “Yeah. And I have to bite my tongue so damn hard.”

His jeans fell to the floor, he held your arms as he stepped out of them. Using his foot, he scooted them to the corner with his t-shirt. His baseball cap was on the table as you entered the room, the first thing he had removed. You couldn’t help but swallow hard as your eyes wandered down to his boxers. He was so hard and just for you. Fingers fumbling and shaking lightly, you pulled the waistband of his boxers down, beginning to expose him. 

He inhaled sharp as you slid them down his thighs, following them. His hands moved to your shoulders, supporting you as you became face level with his cock. He groaned softly as his hands moved to your hair, tugging it lightly. Just enough to make you moan a little. For a moment, you debated taking him in your mouth but that’d have to wait. 

“If they only knew how much attitude and sass you had.”, Joe swallowed hard.

You found the strength to raise your body back up, glaring at him. “You bring it out of me.”

He chuckled before moving his hands under your ass cheeks, picking you up in one swift motion. You squealed easily as he carried you to the pure white king-sized bed. It wouldn’t be for long. He continued to kiss you as he eased you down on the bed, climbing on top of you. His cock dug into your thigh as if it were begging to enter you already. Were you really going to let your ex-fiancé fuck you? Inhibition was out the door, the voice of reason fading. 

“You’ve been so bitchy at work lately.”, his brown eyes resolved, him towering over you in bed.

He kissed you before you could respond, his hands roaming over your body before stopping at your breasts, giving them a squeeze and causing you to moan in his mouth.

“I have—to be a bitch. You’re such—a dick—especially at night when I have to call you.”, you barely got out between kisses as he took your nipple, twisting it and working it between his fingers. 

This was the moment he had been waiting for. 

“You’re always the one who calls.”, he chuckled. “Do you like hearing my voice that much?”

Your eyes closed, your moan filling the hotel room. “No—the other girls are scared—to call you. Always—ask me to do it.”

“Oh,”, he said raising his eyebrows in surprise. “Well maybe I’m so irritable because I always have to take care of myself…and then I wake up alone.”

His head dipped, becoming flush with your chest. He took your other breast in his mouth, beginning to suck and nibble at your nipple causing you to dig your nails into his back. He groaned, mouth full of your breast. Truth was, he loved feeling your nails dig into his skin. It made him feel like you needed him—craved him. It was animalistic, your instincts taking over. You wanted—needed  him to fuck you. 

“Maybe—if you weren’t such an asshole—”, you hissed as he bit your nipple, the pain quickly turning into pleasure. “And chose your career over the people—you love, you’d have someone to wake up to and—fuck!”

He smirked, biting and sucking your nipple to get you off track or at least make it hard to finish your sentence. 

“Take care of you.”, you whimpered, feeling his teeth ease up. 

He leaned up, his weight lifting off of you. His broad, thick fingers found the side of your thong while you watched him with eager eyes. You cleared your throat easily, feeling the hoarseness beginning to sink in already. Your eyes wandered briefly down to his cock, his precum already oozing at the head. 

“Just gonna move my panties to the side and fuck me?”

“Is that what you want? Wanna sass me?”, his brown eyes fixed on your vulnerable state. 

You didn’t respond before speaking again. “Do you realize how much of a dick you truly are when I wake you up? It’s like you’re disappointed to hear my voice?”

“I have to come in and see you. I think I have a right to be irritable.”

He slid your thong down your thighs, legs, and ankles before cupping in his hands and bringing them to his face. 

“What are you doing?”, you asked, face crinkled in confusion. 

He put them to his nose, inhaling the scent of you, your cunt. “Fuck. Makes me wanna taste you.”

“Um—”, you tried to sit up slightly. 

“Relax, lay back. Your scent arouses me.”

You laid back gently into the bed, just like he asked. Your hair was sprawled out behind you, and you felt yourself sink into the plush king-sized bed. After he was done getting your scent, he laid your panties to the side just in the event that he needed a reminder. You looked up at him, rubbing up his broad shoulders. He wasted no time in positioning himself, lining his cock right up with your throbbing, wet cunt.

Locking eyes, he asked you silently if you were ready for this. You gave him a light nod before he lined himself up again with you, brushing your cunt with his cock. He was teasing you, this was the calm before the storm. Your thoughts were interrupted as he shoved himself deep inside of you, splitting you open. 

You gasped, gripping his arms while sinking your nails in his skin. “FUCK—you know I only—call if the child isn’t improving. And—we can’t manage it.”, you moaned the last of your sentence causing a smile to spread across his lips. 

“Mhmm, you always have everything ready for me like a good little nurse.”, his palm brushed hair out of your face and back behind your ear. 

You glared at him softly. “I just—don’t wanna hear your shit.”

He laughed while pushing deeper inside of you, his rhythm steady. A soft sigh escaped your lips, eyes fluttering shut. Your mind was overstimulated. If breathing didn’t come naturally, you would have forgotten to do that. 

“I’m trying to compliment you.”, he groaned as he narrowed his eyes, glasses attempting to fog.

Your eyes opened, hands moving to his face. You brushed through his sideburns, hooking your fingers on the frame of his glasses. You slid them off his face gently and carefully, moving them to the pillow away from you both to prevent them from getting bent and twisted. 

“Anything—to get in my pants, right?”

“Didn’t take a lot of effort.”, he grunted, rutting inside of you. 

“Fuck—you.”, you moaned, turning your head while feeling him place aggressive, hungry kisses on your neck. 

“Oh, we already are, love.”

You didn’t respond, the sounds of sex filling the hotel room. You could hear how wet he was making you, the sound of you both intertwined together. It was the perfect storm—the rush of knowing better, knowing you shouldn’t be doing this, and the fact that he was balls deep inside of you. 

“Deeper—harder, please.”, you whined pitifully.

You shut your eyes quickly, realizing how pathetic you sounded. It made you cringe at how much power he had over you. Even after all he had done, all he had put you through. 

“Anything for you.”, he brushed your face, causing your eyes to shoot open. 

His rhythm changed, the effort he put in changed. He was determined to make you orgasm, he needed to feel you clench around his cock. He needed to feel your juices wash over his cock. The thought alone almost made him whine. You all stared deep into each other eye’s as he continued to thrust deep inside you, balls smacking against your ass. Joe might have been a dick at times, but he was good at two things—being a doctor and sex.

Joe pulled your right leg over his shoulder, allowing himself more leverage as he continued to fuck himself into you.

“Fuck—Joe.”

“What, love?”

There was love. 

“Feels good.”

“Does it?”, Joe breathed, placing a small kiss on your leg. 

Were you really going to feed his ego right now? It was going to be big enough when he won his award. You had a feeling he would win. And you knew that no one would shut up about it. Not at the hospital. Not 

“Fuck—yeah, Joe. I’m getting close…..”

Your answer was long and drawn out in a moan. You could feel your release barreling towards you like a train. No matter how badly you wanted to ride this out or savor this feeling, your body wasn’t going to let that happen. The hot, aching feeling of your orgasm was rising in your stomach, causing it to twist and knot as Joe grunted with each thrust. You let out a few small, abrupt moans signaling you were ready to cum all over his cock.

The sounds you made were like music to his ears, the sweetest symphony that he had missed. 

“Cum for me, please cum for me—all over my cock.”

“Fuck—Joe….”, you bucked your hips slightly.

“What is it, love?”

“I’m gonna fucking—cum. Like right now.”

“Oh fuck, love. Cum please.”

Your toes curled, one the surefire signs you were cumming. “Fuck….”, you hissed before digging and running your nails down his back. “Cumming now, Joe.”

“That’s right, love. That’s so fucking sexy.”

He felt the walls of your cunt tighten around his cock, drowning him in your juices. You whined,  the tension that had built up finally breaking loose. He slowed his thrusts, allowing you to ride out your orgasm only intensifying it in the process. You cried out, going slack against him as he continued to fuck himself into you. 

He bent down and planted a soft kiss on your lips. “Amazing, love.”

Your body began to feel relaxed as you began to come down from your high, the sensitivity of him being inside you causing you to writhe. 

“I’m gonna cum.”, he warned as he looked into your hazy eyes.

“Cum, Joe. Cum deep inside of me.”, you begged.

You knew it was the lust talking. If you had been thinking rationally, you would have thought about the fact you were no longer on birth control. You would have realized the possibility of becoming pregnant. But right now, you didn't care.

“Oh—love, here it comes.”, he warned. 

He went stiff, hips stuttering as you felt his cock pump his seed deep inside you. The warm cum filled your cunt as he allowed himself to ride the high of his orgasm. Your eyes rolled back as he held himself steady, fingertips sinking into your ass. He was gonna keep himself buried deep inside of you, making sure he was finished cumming. Your chest was heaving, knees trembling. The adrenaline high was still there. 

Without warning, he easily pulled out, eliciting a whimper from you at the loss of contact. 

“How—was—that?”, he breathed as he fell beside you.

“Good—really good.”

“Just good?”, he seemed offended slightly.

“I don’t want to boost your ego too much.”, you smirked at him.

He rolled his eyes before pulling you over close to him, beginning to slowly kiss your neck. In between kisses he was sucking on your neck, desperate to leave his mark on you. Your leg wrapped around his, giving into him. Your arms wrapped around his neck, gripping his shoulders. He wasn’t done with you yet.

“What are—you doing?”, you sighed between kisses.

“I’m not gonna stop until you tell me this was amazing, earth-shattering sex.”, he chuckled.

You sighed into him, feeling his cock becoming hard again. It was digging into your thigh as he sucked on your neck. He was needy, desperate to be inside you again. He hungered for you, only you. 

“Joe….”

“Yes, love?”, he spoke against you, teeth sunk in the soft delicate skin of your neck.

“Fuck.”

As his teeth let go, you felt a stinging sensation in your neck. He had done it, you knew he had.

“Mhm, now you’re mine.”, he chuckled, admiring his work by rubbing over the hickey and causing it to throb. 

He was being cheeky and if the truth was being told, you loved it. You loved when he playfully teased you. You could handle this Dr. Quinn a lot better than the one at work who was uptight, grumpy, and a dick. 

“I have an idea.”, he spoke suddenly, beginning to kiss your neck again.

You twisted your arm to be able to cup his chin, running your hand through his hair. “Hm?”

It was clear that he was still pussy drunk, you were cock drunk. 

“Why don’t you let me take you from behind?”

Your stomach twisted at his words, moaning slightly into his touch. “And why should I?”

“Mhm, you’ve been a bad girl. Need to be punished—and reminded who is your boss.”, he gave your breast a squeeze causing you to moan. 

He leaned up, shifting in the bed. “So why don’t you be a good little girl and get face down, ass up?”

His brown eyes had a fire in them as they stared deeply into yours. Your stomach was knotting up at the thought of him doing you from behind. You leaned up, lips crashing into his. His hand brushed over your cheek, catching a handful of your hair. Every kiss with him was like magic, finally finding something you had lost. 

“I’m—not gonna be so—soft.”, he moaned easily through kisses. 

“Okay—fair.”

You broke the kiss unexpectedly, causing him to wear a confused expression in return. You smirked easily as you shifted in bed, giving him a cheeky smile before grabbing the pillow at the head of the bed and cuddling it before wiggling around. You nestled down into the bed, sighing as you did just as he asked—face down, ass up. 

“Fuck, you’re so sexy. I swear.”, he groaned as his thick hands found your hips, sinking his fingertips in them causing your breathing to hitch and a small moan to escape.

“Tsk—tsk. So hard to work together when I have such a naughty, hard to please nurse.”

If he wasn’t going to fuck your brains out, you would have fought with him then and there. You felt his hands slide down from your hips down to your ass before squeezing it. You moaned out, gripping your pillow tight and preparing yourself for the onslaught of sex he was about to give you. He chuckled devilishly, knowing he had you right where he wanted you. 

“I’m already so hard for you.”, he breathed as he leaned down to place a kiss on the small of your back. 

“Yeah?”, you turned your head, gripping the pillow. 

“Mhm, yeah. Can’t wait to be deep inside you and remind you who’s your boss.”

“What are you waiting—for then?”, you breathed. 

“Someone’s ready for my cock to be buried deep into their cunt, hm?”, he teased, feeling his breath on your back. 

“Yes.”

He chuckled easily while rubbing your hips, positioning himself to enter you. His cock brushed against your puffy, aching entrance. Yes? Were you really giving in to him? He was surprised that you admitted it so easily. He had been so used to you giving him a hard time, fighting against him. 

“Fuck—still so wet.”, he inhaled sharply.

“Just came—can’t help it.”, you breathed.

“No—it’s a great thing.”, he reassured you.

You didn’t get a chance to respond before you felt him slip deep inside you, causing you to moan and grip the pillow so tight your knuckles turned white. This time, he didn’t give you a chance to adjust. Your eyes were wide, and it felt like he was splitting you wide open. You knew it was the fact that he was getting more leverage, able to go deeper inside you.

“Feeling okay, love?”

His question was almost half concerned, half taunting. 

“Fi—ne.”

He chuckled, beginning to move inside you. He groaned as his rhythm picked up, sinking his fingers in the plush of your ass. 

“Shouldn’t you—be perfecting your speech?”

“You want me to?”

You felt him slide himself all the way out of you, shocking you. You whimpered pathetically at the loss of contact. 

“Joe…”, the plead in your voice was pathetic. 

“What? I mean—you’re right. I should be perfecting my speech.”

“I didn’t—mean it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Sorry—I’m sorry.”

“You’re what?”, Joe grabbed your hips.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, love. I couldn’t hear you.”, his voice taunted. 

You closed your eyes, knowing damn well he could hear you. 

“I said—I’m sorry.”, you finally spoke up. 

“One more time—sorry my doctor ears must not be able to hear very well.”

“I said—I’m sorry.”, you clenched your teeth, rolling your eyes and showing off that sass he talked so much about.

“Ah, okay. I guess I could accept your apology, nurse Y/N.”, he chuckled with arrogance and ease.

You rolled your eyes, a smile spreading across your face as he teased your entrance again. You felt your chest rise, a sharp inhale. He loved watching you fall apart under his touch. But little did you know, he would be there to pick up the pieces. Even it was just for the night. You couldn’t imagine how dumb this decision was—to sleep with your ex fiancé and have sex with him not once—but multiple times. 

“You do?”

“Mhm, I do.”, he smirked as he slipped himself back inside of you causing you to moan loudly enough to fill the entire hotel room. “And that sound makes it so worth it.”

“I hate—you.”, you glared back at him.

“Do you? You have a bad way of showing it.”, his finger sank into your hips as he picked up his rhythm.

“Fu—ck!”

He chuckled, watching you come undone. His hands moved up and down your body in perfect rhythm while he fucked you out. It was as if all the tension and frustration from before was finally coming to a head. You were making up for lost time, for all those times you both were pissed at one another. 

You heard his grunts as he rutted himself into you. “Like that?”

“Love—it.”, you moaned honestly. 

Your sexual desire was overtaking you. It had been a long time since you’d been fucked. Months—almost a year. A lot of the sex you had was trying to forget him. Like near holidays or his birthday. You weren’t proud to admit it, but it was the truth. And no one you seem to fucked could compare to him. They weren’t him. It was that simple. The news of other doctors liking you was no surprise, but you had no interest in them. 

“God, you’re so fuckin’ tight.”, he groaned.

In the back of your mind, you knew there was no way he had abstained from sexual activity. You were sure there were countless women he had fucked since you. Your brain immediately tried to send the thought away. 

“Joe….”, your mouth was becoming dry.

There was no doubt he was an attentive lover during sex, always asking if you were okay and praising you—making you feel good.

“Yes? Ready to cum?”, his hands found your ass, squeezing the globes of your ass in his thick, broad hands eliciting a moan from you.

“Ye—ah.”

“Hm,”, he hummed in satisfaction. “Cum for me. Cum all over my fucking cock.”

The closer you came to a release, the dirtier his talk became. He was an educated man inside of the hospital, using proper medical terminology. But here in the bedroom, he was sexually charged with desire and lust. 

“Fuck, Joe.”, you hissed through a moan as his speed picked up lightly, the sound of his balls smacking against your ass filling the room. 

As badly as you hated to admit it, he knew your body better than anyone. He knew exactly what he needed to do to get you across the finish line. 

“What, love? Ready to cum for me?”

You nodded breathlessly, gripping the pillow for dear life as if it would provide you any tangible support. 

“Answer my question.”, he grunted as he rubbed your ass.

You knew what would follow. 

Your brain and mouth weren’t doing a very good job coordinating, failing you at this very moment. Joe rarely saw you at a loss for words, but here you were. 

“Are you gonna answer me, love?”

“Try—ing.”, you squeaked. 

“Not hard enough.”, he teased back.

That was the last thing you heard before he drew his hand back, feeling it make contact with your ass and causing you to jump slightly, jarring his cock inside of you.

“Easy, love.”, he chuckled. “Don’t wanna hurt this pretty cunt of yours. Would love to go again tonight.”

“What was that—for?”, you choked out.

“Just reminding you of who’s your boss, here.”

You groaned while rolling your eyes, settling back down into the bed and making it a point to wiggle your ass at him. It was dangling a piece of meat on a string to a starving animal. But it also felt so good with his cock inside of you, him never losing his hard-on or accidentally slipping out of you. 

“You love to hold it over me—don’t you?”

“What’s that?”

“The fact I answer to you.”

“Maybe, you’re the only one who puts up a fight with me. Never meek like you used to be. Kinda turns me on if I’m being honest—hearing your sassy little mouth in the middle of the night.”

You felt your stomach do a flip. He was referring to when you first became licensed as a registered nurse. You preferred not look back at those days, only looking forward.

“Do you want me to cum or not?”, you hissed.

“Oh fuck, do I? It’s all I’ve wanted.”

He went back to that rhythm, the one he knew would make you cum within minutes. He wasn’t going to be mischievous anymore—not this time. 

“Tell me more.”, you breathed.

“About what?”

“Me…what turns you on about me.”, you breathed.

“Um, well…”, he began. “For starters, it’s super sexy when you already know what I want when I get there—you’ve already got things ready for me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah—makes me want to take you to an on call room and fuck you…after we stabilize the kid, of course.”

“Of course.”, you hummed in agreement.

“Just didn’t think you’d be up for it. So, I always go back home and jerk off in bed under my silk sheets.”

Your breathing hitched. “You never asked.”

He moaned lightly before resolving to a sigh. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Pain had long melted into pleasure, your stomach knotting up. It always seemed like the second time you released was easier, and faster than the first. But Joe knew what he was doing, especially when it came to you. 

“Tell—me—more.”, you pleaded through a moan, the sound of sex filling the room.

“Okay,”, he swallowed, hands roaming your body. “I find it really sexy when I watch you interact with kids—like the one who was scared to go to surgery for his appendix last week. You gave him one of the little blue teddy bears and reassured him. He hugged you, I imagined what you would have been like as a mother. If we had stayed together.”

Your heart dropped into your stomach at his admission. “You did?”

“Yeah, made me want kids again.”, he groaned as he hit the spot that made you forget your name.

Your thoughts went out the window, brain now focused on your sexual release. You dropped the subject entirely, moaning as you gripped the pillow tighter. 

“Joe…..”

“Yes?”

“Gonna cum—like right now—can’t wait.”, you moaned out as you closed your eyes.

“Mhmm, cum for me. Want me to fill your cunt full again?”, he groaned as he became flush with your body, placing a lazy kiss on your shoulder.

“Fu—ck. Oh my God.”, you hissed.

You felt your cunt tighten around his cock, juices washing over his cock. He was barely moving inside of you now, giving you a chance to ride out your orgasm. His slight movements inside of you intensified your orgasm, your eyes rolling back in your head. This was the earth-shattering sex he was talking about, the one you had missed. Even when you had slept with someone else, it wasn’t as good. No one compared to him and they never would. 

“That’s it, love. Feels so good on my cock.”

Your legs began to shake, feeling the aftershock of your orgasm coursing through your body. 

“God, I missed your cunt.”

“That all you missed?”, you moaned into your pillow lightly, brushing your hair out of your face.

“No.”, he kissed your shoulder again, pausing his movement.

“Whatever.”, you smirked easily. “Are you gonna cum or not?”

“I want to.”, he chuckled. “But you never answered my question.”

“Which one?”, you sighed, beginning to come down off your high as you snuggled into your pillow.

“If you want me to cum inside of you or pull out.”

“Just cum in me. You already have.”

“Okay. Are you sure?”, he breathed as he began tp pick his rhythm back up, gripping your hips and pulling you back to him slightly causing you to squeal lightly.

“Mhmm, don’t ask again—I might change my mind.”

You snuggled into your pillow, eyes beginning to become hazy. It felt like you were floating, but you weren’t complaining. His hands wandered to your ass, squeezing it and making you moan even if he had already taken care of you. 

“I love to see you all fucked out.”

“Yeah?”, you hummed, chills cascading down your body at his choice of words.

“Mhm, it was always my favorite thing.”

“Thought you said you wanted to go again.”

“We don’t have to right after this.”

You nodded easily, letting him have his way with you. You wanted him to cum—you wanted to feel his hot, sticky release. It was even better when it was running down your thighs. 

“Fuck—I’m gonna cum.”, he hissed.

“Cum, Joe. Fill me full, please.”, you begged, helping him cross the finish line this time. 

That was all he needed to hear. You felt his hips stutter as he sank his fingertips into your hips, a loud groan escaping him as he warned you of his release just seconds before you felt his cock pumping his seed deep inside of you. The warmness flooded through your cunt, causing a smile to spread across your face. He was trying to catch his breath, holding himself steady as he made sure that none was wasted. Not that he was trying to get you pregnant, he wasn’t. But for right now, the thought wasn’t such a bad idea. It made him feel like he had a purpose for staying in you so long. 

A sigh escaped you, finally feeling relaxed that you both had a release. Half of you was debating asking him to stay inside you and cuddling you. It wasn’t such a bad idea, plus you needed a little aftercare, right? 

“Ready for me to pull out?”, he asked, bringing you out of your fantasy.

“Yeah, just please be easy.”

“Oh I will, love.”

With that, you braced yourself by tightening your grip on your pillow. He eased himself out of you, leaving his seed buried deep inside. You whimpered at the loss of contact, causing him to rub your shoulder easily and give it another gentle kiss. He laid in bed beside of you, pulling you towards him. He pulled the sheet up and over you.

“Want to cuddle and go to sleep?”

“Oh, we can’t cuddle.”, you were beginning to come to your senses and out of your cock drunken state.

“Why not?”

“Because.”, you sat up easily, feeling some of his release run down your thigh. “We just can’t.”

“Relax, it’s just aftercare. You always liked when I cuddled you after sex.”

“When we were together.”, you corrected, grabbing an extra plush pillow from behind you and placing it inbetween you both. 

“Oh come on, Y/N.”, he groaned. “Not the pillow divider.”

You glared at him. “Yes, the pillow divider.”

“I just came inside of you.”, he breathed, running through his curls. “Is cuddling really the worst thing we could do?”

“Joe.”

“Come on, I just want to show you I’m not always a dick.”

“No. Now, let’s just go to sleep, please.”, you rolled your eyes, pulling the sheet over you and turning away from him before grabbing the lamp. 

You heard him sigh from the other side of the bed. You instantly felt regret swelling up in your chest. There have been a lot of mistakes you made in life, but this was a huge one.

“You’re just sexually frustrated.”, he spoke up, turning over in bed.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”, he began, resting his hand on the pillow divider. You felt his warm breath hit your neck, knowing he was only inches from you.

All that was separating you was a plush pillow. 

“I’m not sexually frustrated.” 

“Really?”, he teased, his hand moving from the pillow and finding your waist causing you to swallow hard. 

You hated him. You hated him so much.

“Really.”, you choked out.

“How long had it been before tonight?”

“None of your business.”, you rolled your eyes. 

“Well, judging by how tight you were—it’s been a while. You’re busy, right? A night shift pediatric nurse. Working long hours and a lot of overtime. You’ve not been able to move on from me, have you?”

“Fuck you.”

“You already did, love.”, he smirked as he chuckled. 

Man, was he testing your patience. You didn’t respond to his snide comment, thinking maybe if you ignored him, he’d give up and leave you alone.

“You know what always made you relax?”

“What?”, you groaned.

He smirked as he tossed the pillow to the side, breaking the barrier between you both. Your eyes went wide as you flipped over to face him. 

“Joe, what the fuck?”

“I’m jogging your memory.”, he smirked as he pulled the sheet up, dipping his head underneath. “Can you lay flat?”

“What do you think you’re doing?”, you asked as you subconsciously carried out his request.

“What does it look like I’m gonna do?”

“No, no—no way you’re doing what I think you’re gonna do.”

“Just relax.”

You felt his fingers grip your thighs, spreading them apart. He began placing innocent kisses on your thigh and you knew what he was planning.

“You’re not going to eat me out, are you?”

You felt his tongue take a swipe up your thigh, licking the release that had ran down your thighs while shifting in bed. “Looks like I am, unless you don’t want me to.”

Goosebumps appeared all over your skin at the sensation of his tongue, imagining what it could do—what it was about to do. It was like he was waiting for you to protest or tell him to stop. But you weren’t going to, no matter what your head was telling you—no matter that it was telling you how wrong this was. Your breathing hitched as you felt him begin to place gentle kisses on your thighs. 

“Want me to at least pull the sheet down?”, you sighed, hands traveling to find his curls.

“Up to you.”, he breathed through kisses that were inching their way up your thighs to your cunt.

You groaned at his decision to leave it up to you as he placed your ankles on his shoulders. He parted your thighs further, dipping his head between your legs. You braced yourself because you knew what was coming, what was going to follow. 

“Can you breathe?”, you rolled your eyes, fluttering them shut.

“Of course I can breathe. Now, just relax, and let me remind you how I can relieve your stress.”

“You just came inside of me, though. Is that okay?”

“Yes, now relax.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”, he repeated as you felt his breath on your cunt before his tongue took a long swipe up your wet fold. 

He was immediately met with the familiar taste of you mixed with him. It drove him crazy, he loved it—he loved knowing he had come inside of you. It was just one more way he marked you. You moaned lightly as you ran your hands through his curls. 

“See? You’re already loving it.”, he breathed against you.

Whether or not you would ever admit it out loud, you had imagined Joe going down on you before. Even after you both started working together again. It was a thought you had some nights as you laid in bed, your own hand between your thighs as you took care of yourself. It was pathetic, but you needed something. You had imagined Joe having his head buried between your legs, dragging his tongue up and down your slick folds. Now, it was becoming a reality.

It was worse when he had shaved his beard at first, leaving his baby face showing. It reminded you of when he was only a resident. He knew you hated it when he shaved his beard completely off. Unless he had forgotten. You wondered if part of him had done it out of spite. But then not long after, he was letting his beard come back and that made your fantasies even worse, spiraling them out of control. You loved the feeling of his stubble between your legs. You wore his beard burn like a badge of honor.

Without warning, his tongue took another swipe between your wet slit. Your back arched instantly at the sensation, letting out a moan to let him know you were enjoying this. Instinctively, you parted your legs as far apart as they’d go, allowing him full access to you. You eyed him, resting your head on the pillows at the head of the bed. He wanted you to be as comfortable as possible while he fucked you with his tongue. 

“Like my tongue, love?”

“Shut up, Joe.”

His tongue entered you without warning causing you to jolt, almost jumping out of your skin. It was unexpected, but you knew this was punishment for your sass. You gripped his curls, giving them a tug and causing him to groan against your cunt. But it felt good and that was the bad part. 

“Fuck—we taste so good.”

You just knew he had a smug grin. 

“We?”

His tongue swirled in and out of your cunt, teasing you. “Mhmmm.”

“Such a naughty little nurse”, he cooed as he moved his mouth back to your folds, flicking his tongue over your folds. 

Your eyes rolled back in your head easily. Joseph took his hands, moving your legs up to his shoulders, allowing him more leverage. It was hot. So very hot. Your hands continued to grip his curls with each flick and swipe of his tongue, you not being able to hold back your feral moans.

“Fuck Joe—dammit.”

“What? Feeling good, love?”

“No.”, you stammered.

You were never a good liar.

“I’ll just have to try harder then.”

You rolled your eyes this time from frustration. In your head, you were so focused on cumming that your brain wasn’t registering the sensation on your thighs from his beard. The stubble burning, rubbing against your thighs. A hiss escaped your lips before moaning, a sign you were in fact, enjoying his tongue buried deep in your cunt. 

Holding your breath, you waited for a smart remark. But it never came, he was too focused on making you orgasm all over his tongue, dying to taste your sweet release. He had been deprived of it for so long. 

After he was finished tasting the mix of both your releases, he popped his head out from under the sheet to look at you, admire the work he had done. Your chest was heaving, eyes fluttered shut. You had moved your hands from his curls to the sheets, still clearly reeling from your orgasm. Joe wore a smirk on his face, looking up at you. Even in the minimal light, you could see the glisten of your juices on his chin as he licked his lips. 

“See? Told you I could jog your memory.”

You didn’t respond at first, still trying to come down from your high.

“Felt good, didn’t it?”

“Yeah.”, you finally breathed.

Joe fell beside you in bed, taking a deep breath before releasing a sigh. “Gonna build your pillow wall again?”

You glared at him. 

“Just asking. I mean, are you gonna let me cuddle you and give you some aftercare or not?”

“No. Just stay on your side of the bed and I’ll stay on mine. Can we do that?”, you asked as you grabbed the sheet and comforter and pulled them up and over you.

“Not even a goodnight kiss?”, he pouted playfully. “So you could at least taste how good we are?”

You rolled your eyes. “Couples give goodnight kisses. Not exes who decided to fuck. Now, go to sleep.”

You finally found the strength to turn over in bed, away from him. 

“Fine. Suit yourself.”, he sighed as he turned the opposite way, snuggling down into his pillow.

You weren’t sure how it happened when you blinked your eyes open hours later. For the first time in a long time, you had managed to sleep through the night. Coming to your senses while yawning, you felt two strong arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you towards them. There was also the sensation of something poking you in the ass. Your eyes widened as you shot up in a panic while wrapping the sheet around you to cover your breasts, coming to the realization of what had happened last night. 

“Oh shit.”

Joe was slowly waking up, unlike you. “Is everything okay?”, he rubbed his eyes, sitting up with you.

“We had sex. Last night.”

Joe’s lips curved into a smirk. “Multiple times.”

You glared at him. 

“I’m just stating facts, love. It was good—for the both of us.”

You rolled your eyes. “And you were cuddling me this morning. Didn’t I say specifically not to cuddle me?”

Joe shrugged easily, his sexy voice still apparent. “I can’t help what I did after you woke me up this morning around three.”

“What did we do around three?”

“Oh.”, he smirked. “We had sex again. You initiated it, rubbing your ass against my cock and begging me saying, ‘Please fuck me, Joe’, remember?”

“No, I definitely don’t.”, you laughed nervously. 

There was a moment of silence between you both but this allowed your brain to begin remembering exactly what he was referring to, realizing you had indeed initiated sex with him again. 

“Is it coming back to you, love?”

“Joe, please just stop. We can’t do this.”, you jumped out of bed, giving him a chance to admire your naked body, already making him hard again. 

He groaned as he palmed the bulge under the sheets, trying to make his hard-on go away but he was filling miserably. 

“Why not? It was great sex—amazing sex. We both liked it, both enjoyed it. It was relaxing for the both of us.”

“Because we work together.”, you sighed. 

“So? Never stopped us before.”

You turned to look at him, a soft glare in your eyes. It was hard to be mad at him. But you had managed to be mad at him before—for a long time. 

“Isn’t tonight the night you find out if you won or not?”

Joe nodded before sighing. “Yeah.”

“Are you nervous?”

Joe watched you as you got up, letting the sheet fall. You could feel his eyes on you, admiring your naked body. What would it hurt now? He had seen everything you had through the night. Plus, you all had been engaged before. It wasn’t like a huge secret. 

“Kinda.”, he breathed, running a hand through his curls. “This is a big deal.”

“So you’ve said.”

“Can we not do this right now?”

“Do what?”

“Argue. I need you to be on my side—be on my team, please. Can you do that?”, he asked as he grabbed your arm easily in an attempt to get your attention.

You stared at him, looking into his pleading brown eyes. “It would have been easier had I been your fiancé still.”

He sighed, rubbing his face. His beard needed a little trimming but you didn’t prefer him to be clean shaven. “I know.”

You could have said no when he asked you to accompany him. But something inside of you didn’t want to refuse. Somewhere, you had feelings rooted. Even if you didn’t want to admit it.

“How about we go sightseeing or something? Grab some breakfast?”, you suggested, clearing your throat as you slid a t-shirt on and some jeans. 

The weather in Baltimore was much different than the weather in Portland. It was near fall and you were thankful you had packed a thick winter coat. Joe had packed a peacoat, never straying far from his Londoner roots. His parents continued to live in London and mysteriously, you didn’t learn a lot about them even while you all were in a relationship—even being engaged. He left his mom and dad out of things. You had went to London with him on a few occasions. 

“Okay.”, he breathed as he got out of bed and you bit your lip, trying to ignore his physique. 

He wasn’t ashamed of his body, not even bothering wrapping the comforter around him. He was standing in the room with his bare ass showing. You felt your breath catch in your throat, trying to direct your attention elsewhere as he slid his jeans and boxers back on. 

“Hey,”, he began easily. “Wanna run by the pharmacy while we’re out?”

“And get what? A little late for condoms.”, you smirked as you fixed your hair in the mirror.

You’d need a good hot shower before the gala. Part of you was nervous, never doing these kinds of things with Joe before. You didn’t know if you would fit in with the affluent hospital crowd. These were doctors who had done a lot of research and written in medical journals. Where did you belong in this mess?

“Plan B.”, he breathed easily as he threw his baseball cap on.

“Oh.”, you widened your eyes, slightly surprised he’d bring that up. 

He had a point though, you weren’t on birth control and you all didn’t use any condoms. Things just happened so fast. Part of it still hurt, however, because there had been many discussions while you all were still together about your future children. 

He watched you for a response. 

“Yeah, that’s great.”

He nodded before grabbing his wallet and stuffing it in the pocket of his jacket. “I’ll pay for it.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“No, I insist, love.”

You both paused, looking into each other’s eyes. 

“Joe, you don’t have to do this shit for me.”

“I know. I just—it just takes two to tango, you know.”

You nodded. “Right.”

He grabbed the doorknob of the hotel room door, opening it and revealing the hallway. “We could always buy condoms if you plan on more sex. Maybe celebratory sex tonight?”, he smirked.

You rolled your eyes, trying to shift from the hurt back to playfulness. “We’ll see. You actually have to win first.”

You all wasted no time in exploring the city, quick to find a small diner for breakfast. It was quiet, off the beaten path. Joe chose to read the newspaper while drinking coffee. They had tea, but unless it was close to what they had back home, he wasn’t a big fan. You ordered an omelet with a side of hash browns and fruit, taking a sip of your orange juice. 

“Who knew Baltimore had such a high crime rate?”, Joe asked, sipping his coffee. 

“Not surprising.”, you stirred in your hash browns, smothering them in ketchup before taking a bite.

“I’d say their ERs are swarmed every night—gunshot wounds, mugging, car accidents.”

“Yeah, for sure.”

Joe opted for eggs, bacon, and a waffle. There was a lot of silence between you both as you both quietly ate your breakfast. You were chalking a lot of Joe’s silence up to being nervous about his speech and potentially winning the Lasker award. You did a lot of people-watching while you both were in the diner, anything to distract your attention from him. You didn’t want him to know he had as much power as he had over you. 

You all finished breakfast, going around the city. Joe liked to sight see in new places. Even while you both were together, you all took a lot of trips. Joe also took a lot of pictures, pulling his iPhone out and snapping pictures while you all toured the city. The last stop was the pharmacy, Joe bedside you. You went to the family planning aisle, immediately finding the Plan B pill.

“Why do they lock this shit up?”, you groaned as you grabbed it from the shelf, noticing its near fifty-dollar price tag.

“I assume women steal it. If you’re stealing Plan B, you probably shouldn’t be having sex.”, Joe shrugged easily as you immediately began your walk to the cash register, him trailing close behind. 

You rolled your eyes. “Some people make mistakes, you know.”

“Is this all for you?”, the woman at the register asked. 

You could read on the woman’s face that she knew you all had sex. It felt like the entire world knew at this point. 

“Yeah, how much is it?”, you asked. 

“52.95 with tax and all.”

You went to dig through your purse bit before you even had a chance to finish looking, Joe had already pulled out his debit card and paid for it. You glared at him, watching him shoot a cheeky smile at you before he grabbed the bag and receipt, shoving the receipt in the bag. Exiting the pharmacy, Joe held onto your bag. It wasn’t surprising as seeing this was the man who didn’t care to go buy your pads or tampons when you were having your period. 

It was always comfortable with him, never feeling shamed for being a woman and having womanly functions. 

“Want me to carry that?”, you asked as you all walked down the street.

Joe had lit up a cigarette, a habit he wished he could break—and he had tried. “No, I’ve got it.”

“You know smoking is bad for you.”, you teased. “Coming from a nurse.”

He smirked before releasing a light chuckle, taking a draw from his cigarette. “We all have to cope in some way, don’t we?”

You shrugged. “I guess so.”

Arriving back at the hotel, you fell on the bed that you all had made a mess of. It was an instant reminder of the events that had transpired between you both. You were already exhausted and you still had to attend the gala with Joseph. 

“I’m gonna shower first if that’s alright. Unless you want to join me.”, Joe cocked his eyebrows seductively. 

Part of you wanted to take him up on his offer, eager to feel him again. But you knew that would just prove his point further. 

“I’m sure you don’t want to smell like my girly body wash and perfume.”, you smirked back at him.

He smirked, undoing his jeans in front of you. He stepped out of them easily, folding them before laying them on the back of the chair near the desk. You felt your heart skip a beat, swallowing hard. Joe noticed but you didn’t want to believe he had.

“It would be worth it to stick my cock in your cunt.”

His words sent chills cascading down your body, your breathing instantly hitching. 

“Can’t use condoms in the shower.”

“Ah, we’ve got your Plan B pill. What’s one more time before you take it? You still have roughly fifty hours.”

You sat up, mouth dropping open before you began laughing. “Aren’t you a doctor? The sooner you take it, the better.”

“True.”, he agreed. “We could take our chances.”

“Do you know how dumb you sound right now? Like a lovesick teenage boy who is horny.”

He laughed lightly while he stripped his shirts, leaving him only in his boxers. “I mean after the amazing sex we had last night, it’s hard not to be. If you want to say no, you can. It’s your choice. There’s some bottled water in the fridge to take your pill with. I’m really just kidding.”

You bit your lip, your common sense leaving you. “I’ll shower with you.”

“Sorry, love. What was that?”

“I said—I’ll shower with you.”

“Yeah?”, he smirked. “Need another dose? It’s just what the doctor ordered, isn’t it?”

“Oh my God. You’re unbearable.”, you laughed, elbowing him. “Shut up before I change my mind.”

You all had subconsciously got closer, looking into one another’s eyes. Locking eye contact just seconds before your lips crashed into one another, him backing you up against the wall. You moaned into his mouth easily as he reached for your jeans, once again undoing them. It was almost a repeat from the night before. It hadn’t taken him long to memorize how to get your clothes off in a hurry. Within a minute, you were down to your bra and panties. 

“Don’t you feel like a dirty girl?”, he hummed, sticking his fingers down your panties. 

“Yeah, I do.”, you admitted with a sigh. 

“We’re gonna get all cleaned up. Promise.”, he breathed against your skin, kissing your neck. 

“Mhm, can’t wait.”, you took in a sharp inhale as he pulled your jeans and panties down to the floor. 

He tugged at the hem of your shirt, pulling it up and over your head, leaving you only wearing a bra. He wasted no time in wrapping his arms around your back, carefully undoing your bra and allowing it to fall to the floor. It was clear this wasn’t his first time undoing a bra from the front. He was skilled in undressing and for a brief moment you wondered how many other women he had done this to, but the thought was quickly interrupted by him kissing you, sending you into oblivion. 

“Ready—for—the shower?”, he breathed between kisses.

All you could do was nod in response. 

He picked you up again causing you to squeal in his mouth, shushing it with a kiss. His fingers squeezed your ass causing you to moan into the kiss. He had missed feeling your body, it was a work of art in his eyes. He had already managed to turn the water on, warming it up for you both. He had left the bathroom door open, the steam rolling out. He easily shut the door with his foot, setting you down on the floor and allowing you to gain your balance before pulling away. 

As he opened the shower door, you were biting your lip and admiring his physique. How had your mind been changed from just this morning—seeming to regret the decision you had made to sleep with him. He motioned for you to enter the shower first, reaching his hand out for you. You grabbed it, allowing him to pull you towards him. He placed several kisses on your neck causing shivers to cascade down your spine, allowing you to sigh into him.

“You get in first.”, he breathed.

“Okay.”

He helped you inside the shower, following close behind. So close you could feel his cock pressing against your ass. Your eyes fluttered shut, biting your lip while imagining what it would feel like for him to be inside of you again. Was it smart to not use condoms? No, but the feeling of him without one was something you couldn’t put into words. Maybe it was just you being cock drunk, but you couldn’t help it. You’d never tell him but he was an amazing lover, always trying to please you.

The hot water rushing over your skin brought you of your thoughts as Joe grabbed your waist from behind, bringing you flush against him. He began kissing your neck, hands roaming over your breasts before giving them a gentle squeeze.

“Fuck—you’re so sexy.”, he breathed, water dripping off his curls and onto your shoulders while running down your body.

“You cuss a lot around me.”, you smirked easily, leaning back against him.

“Can’t help it—need inside of you.”

“You’ll get to be soon.”, you sighed, allowing him to kiss all over your neck. 

“I know and I can’t wait.”, he hummed, hands finding your breasts before giving your nipples a pinch causing you to moan loudly. 

You hummed in agreement, letting his hands roam your body. They were thick and broad, feeling you up. He wasn’t gross like most guys were when they were touching your body. He made it all about you, giving you small compliments about how sexy and beautiful your were, how much he wanted you, and things that just made you feel good. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

The room was thick with steam that poured from the shower. Your pulse quipped and your mouth was dry. You could feel his cock digging into you.

“Remember when we’d have shower sex when I came off a nineteen hour shift?”

Your breathing hitched. “Fuck—yeah, I do.”

“It was such good sex—then we passed out in bed.”, he chuckled. 

“Mhm.”, you hummed, chills covering your body. 

You remembered it well. Those days felt like so long ago even if they weren’t. Ever since Joe had left for Seattle, time seemed to pass slowly. It was hard to live without him at first—even calling out of work for a few days to mentally and emotionally try to get a grip on life. The sun didn’t rise and set in him, you knew that. But he had been a huge part of your life. It was hard to know he was gone. 

After he left, you learned to live without him—even feeling like you hated him some days. You hated him for making you love him. You hated him for leaving. You hated him for making you wake up alone. You hated him for choosing his career over you. You hated him for making you have to learn to live without him. But yet, here you were—having shower sex with him. 

Without warning, he spun you around in one quick motion making you face him in the shower, water dripping off your faces. Joe moved his hand to the back of your neck, tilting your head up to give you a warm kiss. You thought about the power those hands held. He was a doctor, skilled with his hands. You lost your words when it came to him, he still had that power over you. He knew what you wanted and he wasn’t going to make you wait long. 

He picked up your thighs, bringing them to circle around his waist as he pushed you against the wall of the shower for support. Your all’s shower was long forgotten, for the time being, something better in place of it. Joe wasted no time in slipping inside of you, his thick cock filling you and splitting you open in ways you couldn’t describe. A small moan escaped your lips, Joe releasing a grunt from the back of his throat. He was working soft strokes into you. If he was holding you, you were sure your legs would have given out by now.

“Can we both admit we missed this?”, he grunted before you both shared a soft kiss.

You scoffed playfully as he rutted himself further into you. “As if.”

“I know you missed me when I left for Portland.”

“What—does it matter?”, you moaned back. 

“Because—I missed you too. If I’m being honest. There—wasn’t a day I didn’t think about you.”, he grunted.

“Don’t—lie. Please don’t lie, Joe.”, you begged, swallowing hard.

“I’m not lying. I debated calling you every day. I—typed texts I never had the courage to send.”

“Can we please—not talk about this right now while—you’re inside of me?”, you hiccuped. 

“Fine—I won’t,”, he began as he continued to steadily fuck you. “Maybe after I win?”

There it was—his cockiness was back and in full force. It was hard to ignore, making you want to roll your eyes. But there wasn’t much else you could focus on other than him fucking himself into you. You felt your heart melt a little more. 

You let out a whine and nodded your head. “If  you win.”

Joe smirked as he sank his fingertips into your thighs, knowing he was going to leave marks. But you loved it—secretly, you loved anything he did. You felt your lower half tense, Joe continuing to help you towards your orgasm. You could feel every inch, vein, and tweak of his cock—all helping to add to your sensations and sensitivity. Joe put his lops back to yours, your moans going straight down his throat. He wanted you so badly, he wanted to swallow every little sound or hiccup you made. 

“Joe….”, you moaned into his mouth.

“Hm?”

“Gonna—cum—now.”, you moaned, the sound muffled as it filled his throat.

He didn’t beg or coerce you to cum, a slight surprise to you. But it wasn’t stopping the fact you were going to cum. Without further warning, you came. You juices spilled all over his cock, causing him to moan in response. Joe didn’t immediately follow, in fact his cock felt even harder than before.

“Fuck your cunt is gripping me so tight.”, he grunted, breaking the kiss.

Your body was still shaking, reeling from your orgasm and Joe seized the opportunity to start fucking you faster. His hands pulled you off his cock only to slam you back down on it, moving your body like it was nothing. Your body couldn’t stop shaking, your stomach twisting and aching but you knew you had more to give him. Your hands gripped his neck tighter, trying to hold onto his fast-moving body. He was fucking you so fast and so hard that you didn’t even have time to catch your breath. No need to when he would just take it again anyway.

You felt his cock twitch and you both knew he would cum soon and you couldn’t wait for him to fill you full. Even if you knew the risks associated with it. All that filled your ears were moans worthy of the big screen and whines coming from you. Joe’s moans and grunts added to the music you both were creating. The steam from the bathroom wasn’t helping you think straight. You were beginning to feel dizzy and disoriented. All you knew at the moment was that you needed Joe’s cum immediately. 

“Please—Joe….”, your pleading was cut short with abrupt thrust. “Please give me your cum, please cum deep inside of me.”

“You want it? It’s all yours—all fuckin’ yours.”, Joe coos. 

Within a second, you felt his warm cum deep inside of your cunt. His hips stuttered as he let out a long groan, almost matching the pace he was using to spill inside of you. You couldn’t help it, you followed him and came again—a loud whimper coming out. It was euphoric—more than either of you could have ever hoped or dreamed for. 

“Really want to stop this? Go back to work like none of this happened?”, he breathed, chest heaving up and down.

“We don’t have time to talk about this right now, we have to get ready.”, you breathed, trying to compose yourself. 

“Fine. But I’m gonna convince you before this trip is over.”, he smirked as he slipped out of you, some of his cum spilling out and mixing with the water. 

“We’ll see.”, you smirked back as you both began to quickly shower. 

________________________________________________________________________________

As you stood in your bra and panties, you looked in the mirror while making sure every part of your hair was perfect. You were wearing it up, a few loose curls out but it made it look more elegant—something you didn’t do often. The dress you had brought, ultimately didn’t make you happy for this event. Joe offered to get you a new dress, even remembering your size as he called a local formal shop. Even through many protests, Joe didn’t listen to you. You didn’t want him doing this for you, it was something you weren’t used to.

A knock came to the hotel room door. 

“I’ll get it.”, Joe said easily. 

You tried not to pay any attention to the conversation he had with whoever was delivering the dress. You put some finishing touches on your makeup, taking your mascara brush over your eyelashes one more time before spraying some make up setting spray. You heard the door close gently before hearing Joe’s footsteps grow closer. 

“Here’s your dress—even if I do like seeing you in your bra and panties.”, he laughed lightly.

You didn’t immediately turn around to view him. “Thanks.”

“What’s wrong?”, he sighed. “You should be happy.”

You scoffed lightly before turning around. “You bought me a dress. Quit doing nice things for me, please. You’re making it harder to hate you.”

“Maybe that’s my intention—though I don’t think you hate me at all.”

You rolled your eyes. “Just show me the dress.”

He smirked as he unzipped the garment bag, revealing a black dress with crystals decorating the slender straps with mesh insets at the waist and a sultry side slit. 

“Joe, it’s—”

“Don’t say it’s too much. Just please wear it—I insist.”

You glared at him. “I was going to say beautiful.”

“Oh.”, he chuckled softly. “Can we get you in it?”

"Yeah, we only have two hours to finish getting ready and to get to the venue.”, you looked back at him. 

“Alright, turn around and I’ll get you into clothes instead of getting you out of clothes.”

You rolled your eyes before following his request. He took the dress out of the garment bag, instantly admiring how beautiful it was—just like you. He knew you were going to look amazing in it. 

“Okay just step into this for me.”

You did before he slid it up your body, admiring how it fit perfectly around your curves as he fixed the straps on your shoulders, the crystals flickering in the light. He zipped the dress up, it finally taking full form on your body. Looking in the mirror, you could tell on his face that he loved the way it looked on you. You noticed him look you up and down in the mirror.

“God it fits you like a glove.”, Joe breathed.

“It does.”, you agreed. “Now, I need to put on my heels. Shit, and my earrings.”

You left him standing in front of the mirror as you walked over to grab the dangle earrings, putting them in your ears. Turning away from the mirror, you noticed him putting the finishing touches on his suit. He looked good—so good. You slid your heels on before grabbing your clutch, quickly slipping your morning-after pill inside. You’d take it after the awards. You knew it could cause severe nausea, cramping, and maybe even bleeding. 

“Ready to go?”, you asked easily.

You could tell Joe was becoming nervous. 

“Yeah.”, he began. “You look beautiful.”

He was deflecting, something he had learned to do very well while growing up. There were a lot of secrets you didn’t know about your ex-fiancé. 

“Thank you. You don’t look so bad yourself.”, you joked softly. 

He smiled, forgetting his problems for tonight. “Let’s go.”

“Lead the way.”

To your surprise, a limo showed up to chauffeur you and Joe to the gala. You all sat in silence on the ride there, being offered champagne to kill the nerves. You sipped yours slowly as did Joe, the silence lying between you both. 

“Nervous?”, you asked easily.

“No.”, Joe lied, taking a sip of his champagne as he cleared his throat. 

“You’re a bad liar.”

“I’m not lying.”, he defended. “I was maybe nervous when I took my USMLE to be a doctor….I’m not nervous now.”

He didn’t make eye contact with you as the ride continued, you nodding lightly even though you didn’t believe him even in the slightest. You all continued to sip your champagne until it was gone and you all arrived at the gala. The driver got out, opening the door for you both as you thanked him. 

“Can we at least act like we like each other?”, he whispered.

“Are you going to admit I’m just one of your nurses?”

He rolled his eyes again. “You’re more than just one of my nurses—you’re my best nurse.”

“Whatever.”

“It’s true—you know what I like—how I like it. I’ve been hard on you lately. It’s not fair to you.”

“Joe please—can we not do this before your speech and stuff?”

“What are we telling people? I can call you my date and then if they ask your profession, tell them we met working together—which isn’t a lie.”

“Sure—tell them the truth.”, you agreed. 

“Fine, we will. It’s not like I’m ashamed of you.”, Joe responded. 

You both continued inside, classical music instantly filling your ears. The lights were down low, the noise of people chatting and glassware clinking joining the music. You swallowed hard and the nerves began to sit in and you weren’t even the one up for an award and delivering a speech. Joe nudged you easily in hopes you would link your arm with his and at least make it look like you enjoyed one another’s company. Glancing up at him, he stared ahead and didn’t bother glancing down at you. 

“Dr. Joseph Quinn.”, a voice spoke, causing you both to turn around.

A hand was held out, Joe clearing his throat and taking it.

“Dr. Thomas Snider.”

“And who’s this beautiful woman on your arm?”, his eyes glanced over to you. 

You and Joe eyed one another before Joe responded. 

“Y/F/N Y/L/N.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/N. Can I call you that?”, he outstretched his hand.

“Yes, nice to meet you, Tom.”, you took his hand. 

“Why don’t we all have a drink? It’s a big occasion—I heard you’re up for a Lasker award.”

Joe looked at you as he fixed his suit as if he was asking your permission. You nodded lightly as you both followed Tom over to the bar area. You sat beside Joe, laying your clutch on the table as you were careful to sit down in the chair in your dress. A waiter was quick to come over to the table and ask for your drink order. Tom asked what you all would have—Joe wanted a martini while you opted for a Cosmo. You listened to Joe and Tom’s conversation lightly while waiting for your drink. Maybe in an hour or two you could sneak off to the bathroom and slip your morning-after pill. You needed to take that. It had been almost over twenty-four hours at this point, nearing day two.

The sooner the better—that’s what their slogan was on the website and all healthcare professionals knew that to be true. It was either take the pill or leave it up to fate. But you didn’t exactly want to get pregnant with your ex-fiancé’s baby. That wasn’t on your bingo card and this was your best bet. It had a ninety-five percent effectiveness rate after twenty-four hours—eighty-five percent after forty-eight hours. But that was better than not taking it at all and hoping for the best. This wasn’t something you could hope for the best for—that often ended tragically as evidenced by your life. 

“So how did you all meet?”

The question from Tom brought you back to reality.

“Um, we actually work together.”, Joe smirked over at you. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”, you agreed, looking back at Joe. 

“What do you practice?”, he asked.

“I’m sorry?”

“Like are you pediatrics, ortho, cardio?”

“I’m a nurse.”, you said bluntly. 

“Ah, the doctor and nurse trope. Nice Joe.”, he elbowed Joe playfully, causing Joe to smirk lightly as he took a sip of his drink. 

You glared at them both lightly, fire beginning to burn in your eyes. 

“She’s a peds nurse. My best one.”, Joe smirked at you, laughter resolving as he noticed you didn’t think his joke was as funny as he did. 

You felt your heart soaring in your chest, causing you to almost immediately perk up. But you quickly reminded yourself that he was just putting on a front. It was what he was best at doing. He was a smooth operator and only told people what they wanted to hear. 

“I’m happy for you, Joe. Hold on to her or someone might snatch her away.”

Their cordial laughter ripped through your thoughts and you cleared your throat lightly. Your drink was almost gone but it wasn’t helping you. 

“I’m gonna grab another drink.”, you responded lightly. 

“Okay.”, Joe spoke up easily. 

You gave him a half smile as you got up, abandoning the conversation. Wasting no time, you marched up the bar counter and ordered another Cosmo. You put your wallet on the bar, beginning to think about the Plan B pill that was inside of it. You couldn’t help but think about that as each second clicked off the clock, your timer was running out. You shook your head as the bartender slid your Cosmo to you, distracting you from your thoughts. 

“Hello,”, you heard someone tap the microphone in an attempt to gain the audience’s attention. 

You turned around in your bar seat. 

“Thank you all for attending our annual award ceremony. Doctors and other medical professionals alike across the United States are nominated for the Lasker Award for their continued groundbreaking research in this field. We will be beginning in the auditorium shortly if you all want to go ahead and take your seats. Again, thank you all for coming.”

Chatter began to pick back up amongst the crowd. You swiped your drink from the bar, thanking the bartender before making your way back over to the table only to find Joe sitting there alone. He was checking his cell phone before he noticed you had made your way back over. 

“Hey.”, he spoke softly.

“Hey. Your friend leave?”

He scoffed lightly before it turned into laughter. “Not exactly my friend. Just an old acquaintance.” 

“He’s blunt.”

Joe nodded, already knowing he wouldn’t be your cup of tea. You weren’t used to that even if you were a nurse. The medical field brought along a lot of emotions. Joe remembered vividly being a resident and not being taken seriously. He always had to ask permission from his fellow and you never dared question an attending. Even though he had pushed the bill before when it came to the outcome for his patient. At first, he wasn’t respected for it—he was chastised for it. He had come to America for a fresh start. Meeting you was never in the cards and neither was leaving you. But he couldn’t think about that right now. 

“Yeah.”, Joe began, sipping his drink. “Always has been. Don’t let it get under your skin.”

“That’s a little impossible.”

Joe laughed lightly. “I know.”

“Are you nervous?”, you attempted to change the subject.

“Kind of.”

“You’re gonna do fine. You always do. You have charm and charisma working out of your ears. It’s what a lot of women love about you.”

Joe’s brown eyes panned up to meet yours. “Funny. I can’t find any women who love that endearing quality.”

He was trying to make jokes, a soft smirk across his lips. 

Rolling your eyes, you responded. “You just haven’t met the right one.”

“I did. And I fucked it up.”

You looked at him, confused. It was like time was in slow motion and you couldn’t wrap your head around what he had said. Was your brain tricking you?

“Dr. Quinn.”, a woman who was dressed very elegantly interrupted your all’s conversation. “They’re ready for you.”

He gave you a soft smile as he raised up from his chair, brushing his slacks. You eyed him, opening your mouth to speak but no words would come out. You wished you could have forced words of encouragement but what would you say back to something like that? He looked back at you as he walked away, following the woman who came to get him. You hurried and downed your Cosmo, leaving the empty glass and almost running towards the auditorium—except you had heels on and you couldn’t “run”. 

#eddie x reader #joseph quinn imagine #joseph quinn #joseph quinn x y/n #eddie imagines #eddie munson imagine #joseph quinn x reader #eddie munson hc #eddie munson

[lucespeaks]

Nika being so good with kids my ovaries exploded actually

no literally like ms.mühl you know this is my weakness???

#anons💓 #nika muhl #mother of my children

[ohtobeleah]

Hey there lovely people. I hope this Easter break has brought you nothing but rejuvenation. I hope all your family members are doing well too!

I thought I'd just stop by and give a quick update on what's been going on. I haven't been very active on here as of late and a few weeks ago, decided I needed a break.

My mental health hasn't been the greatest recently. I decided to take some time away from Tumblr as the anons I was receiving were too nasty, too cruel and overall too much for me to handle on a daily basis.

I'd recently had to make some really difficult choices to step away from friendships that were no longer viable, despite best efforts being made to salvage what remained.

While grieving the loss of one friendship, I was informed that an ex-client and dear friend of mine, took her own life. This really set me back and I have very much struggled to come to terms with her death. In our sessions she would often vocalise how beneficial and imperative our sessions were to her mental health plan. When I quit and moved to another facility, I wasn’t sure if she would find another trainer that could help her the same way.

She never did: her mother reached out to me to express that there was nothing more I could have done for her daughter, but she wanted me to know.

Not only has my mental health been very unstable, so has my physical health. Last Monday I had yet another ovarian cyst rupture. I am right back where I started in looking for treatment, management and more information about what is going on. The public holidays have set my test/scan results back a few days but I am on the waiting list to see a specialist about the possibility of having my ovaries removed if this will be something I have to endure each month.

My body feels weak, I’m constantly fatigued, my appetite is barely there. With migraines, nausea and constant pelvic pain, it's hard to brave work right now with a smile and a positive attitude.

Bailey has also been dealing with some back pain/inflammation around his L5 and S1 vertebrae. So between the two of us, we are probably two halves of one whole healthy human.

I’m hoping to start using this hellscape some more, although I'm still a little apprehensive. But I thought before I do, those who support me and those who have reached out to check in would appreciate a little update. I hope it brings some understanding as to where I’m sitting right now.

I miss you all, please take care of yourselves. 💕

#tw: suicide #tw: mentions of suicide #tw: mental health

[cinnamonest]

I'm now into the 5th season of hxh. As soon as I finish this series I will actually make a proper post but in the meantime I want to shout into the void how I feel about some of these bastards. Yes I was too lazy to turn off subtitles before taking hulu screenshots. I've been cutting into my sleep hours to watch this since the past week since I keep having to work overtime so this might be incoherent and delirious idk. I'm not entirely sure I'm awake right now. This might be a dream. Anyway

Hisoka was the only character I was familiar with by name prior to watching and like. I always assumed the pervert schtick was like a one-time line/single scene that people just took and ran with it. I was incorrect

I know full well this man would most likely kill me but like. I think I'd be okay with it. I think it would be a good way to go and I would probably accept it. I'd thank him even. I'd ask him to step on me while he does it. Or maybe I'm right at the threshold where I'm so pathetic I'm genuinely not worth killing which I think I'd also be okay with as long as I can still get knocked to the ground and have him step on my neck. Please sir

Also a large portion of me watching this, up until this past week, has been while I'm at home bc I've been home a lot recently and I often have a parallel play thing going on with my mother where in the evenings I'll watch something or play games while she browses facebook or reads her Bible/Christian books and she'll like pay half-attention and make comments every few minutes on anything I watch. In true parent fashion she's managed to be there for like every scene of random naked shots or weird moaning and says nothing, but once just looked up, made a face of deep discomfort and went back to highlighting her Bible. I think about this a lot. I'm sorry mom

I'm very weak to comic relief men actually and I have a triple weakness to token perv characters and furthermore my ovaries were created as such that men who are incredibly intelligent while also being astoundingly dumb are my kryptonite so my boy, be he as he may, dare I admit, does things to me. I think if you pulled the typical tease line where you say something about having a problem and needing a doctor to inspect you or just flash him he might die on the spot and that is very endearing to me. One could torment this man with the slightest of skin or sensuality it would be very easy. I appreciate you leorio

I want to protect Killua but like does he need it really. Like the "oh poor baby I want to hold him and squeeze him and never let anything harm him" urge is there because of my blatant maternal complexes but at the same time I know full well he does not need protecting and would realistically be the one protecting anyone else but like the urge is still there. I don't care. I WILL find something to protect him from and I WILL do it

Also very tsun. I can sense it. I know I'm dumb and weak and I would get snarky comments about it but that's okay. I would let the middle school aged boy bully me. I'd be okay with that

I think Illumi looks kind of like an insect. However he also terrifies me a little bit but I don't think that would particularly bother him. I think I could tell him both that he terrifies me and that he looks like a bug and he would have an entirely neutral response. Would probably just ask what kind of bug but may be disappointed if I name a non-cool bug. I'd probably say a grasshopper. I don't know how he would feel about that

I think what would be infuriating to me most is it is difficult to get much of a reaction out of this dude. Like you can be a total nightmare to have as a captive and the most you'll get is a :/ response. In attitude at least, like he'd probably still snap my wrist if deemed appropriate but would do it with just a mildly exasperated face/voice. I would try so hard to get a strong reaction and would never get it and that infuriates me. What right do you have to infuriate me like this bug man. Stop staring at me with them big ol eyes

I think if this man were to be living a normal life and not running with criminals he would wear socks with sandals on a daily basis. Like those thick white halfway up the calves socks and tan buckled sandals worn exclusively by boomer middle aged dads. And it's not the only trait he would share with middle aged men either I think he would care deeply about the quality of his lawn and mispronounce foreign things in a way that is borderline creative for how wrong it is. I think he just is a middle aged boomer dad trapped in a younger man's body. Release this man into a Home Depot and he will immediately adapt to his natural habitat

I am terrified of this man because due to who I am as a person I immediately evaluate all male specimens on what I think sex with them would be like, and cannot imagine a scenario involving this man where I come out of it without actual internal damage. Like you know how people joke about "rearranging your guts/insides" well this would be that but like actually genuinely. I think intercourse with this tank of a man would automatically necessitate medical attention. However do not mistake my horror for hesitancy because organ rupture is a price I will willingly pay for the experience of a realistic simulation of what I imagine it feels like to be a sick gazelle that falls behind the rest of the herd only to start hearing suspenseful nature documentary music

I cannot look at this man without my blood pressure immediately rising. I have never been simultaneously so strongly attracted to yet have such a strong desire to strangle someone. I think the worst part of this is that he would somewhat let me attempt to strangle him but would find it endearing and would start going on an analysis of my personhood and I will be real with you all that would peak my fury and I would become violent. And blah blah "understanding myself" hey man can you maybe not mass murder and go on your journey of self discovery by doing drugs or taking a road trip or something like a normal person in their quarter life crisis. Is that so hard.

As my fingers type these words I can feel my heart rate increasing and I am filled with immense fury and arousal at the same time. Why are you attractive? What is wrong with me? I hate it and I hate myself for it. I have to unironically take a break from typing to take a deep breath. I have to move on because I'm getting heart palpitations

Shalnark seems underappreciated. I love him so much but he also terrifies me in a way none of the others do. Like sure being blatantly cruel or loud or huge like some of the others is one thing but he's too cheery. It scares me on a visceral level. Sir why are you smiling like that. I do not trust it. Or rather realistically I know I WOULD trust it if I met this man as a stranger because I'm very gullible and that would not end well for me. This boy would probably be like one of the absolute worst people to end up stuck with once you get into it but that is very well hidden from the surface and I do not like that. I know I'm naive as all hell and I would fall for the same tricks over and over and I just know that would be used against me

On the bright side though this does mean he would actually fit the classic, original yandere trope since originally yanderes are supposed to be super sweet and cheery externally, so there's that

My skrungly. My tiny son. Y'all do not understand my predicament because I have a NEED to squish his face in my hands, I have an unbearable urge to pat his head and ruffle his hair, it is a literal physical intrinsic need like food and water and I need this but like at what cost. Is the price one I am willing to pay. The answer is probably yes actually. What are a few broken fingers for a moment of pure bliss. Likewise even if by a mere 2 centimeters I am taller than this man and that brings me great satisfaction. I hold great power in my hands. I would be sure to bring this matter up on a daily basis at great risk to my well-being

Baby boy you are the warmth of my soul and the love of my life and the brightest star in my night sky which is really saying something because you have about as much positive energy as a funeral. Regardless. Baby boy. Baby

I want Kurapika to know I love him. If Kurapika has 100000000 fans I'm one of them. I'm Kurapika has 10 fans I'm one of them. If Kurapika has 0 fans I am dead. If I were a shounen anime protagonist that just got the shit beaten out of me and I'm crumpled on the ground on the verge of unconsciousness and/or death I would have flashbacks and imagery of Kurapika go through my head and then I'd get a sudden burst of willpower and energy to miraculously get back up and kill the villain in a single blow. If I'm having a bad day and a singular thought of Kurapika passes through my mind it becomes a good day. Knowing Kurapika is a spiritual experience for me. I have a small orgasm every time my eyes are graced with Kurapika's visage. I think about Kurapika at minimum 127 times daily and if I fail to do this I will die instantly. I would protect Kurapika with my life. And by God I would gladly volunteer myself for clan rebuilding. Sir if you ever want to spread your bloodline I am right here. I will leap at the chance to spend the rest of my life as your personal incubator. I feel like he'd be paranoid and overprotective and lock me in the same house forever but you know what? I'm fine with that. Walking through our house at night will be like a semi-obscure 2000s Japanese horror rpg because every step you take there's a set of big red eyes staring at you but instead of weird Japanese demons its just pouty tiny kurtas. I am in physical pain because the most screen time he's had in ages is a phone call. Where is my boy. What have they done with my boy. If he does not return soon I will become violent

#i need to compile my mom's commentary because oh my God #she doesn't understand anything going on but comments all the time and it cracks me up #shes very opinionated on the characters #but can never remember their names #every few minutes of watching in silence from across the room i hear her just #'oh him again. i do not like him. i've had enough of him' #and just resumes her Bible study

[squishysoftmonsters]

If he's not a thicc scaly lizard with a forked tongue and knobby pistons ready to stretch me like the milky way and balls that slap my booty while he raws me doggy style..I don't want him.

If he's not furry with a long snout and big teeth..with a dong that can lift me like the exorcist,he's not my type..

If he lacks roots,vines that can feast on my boobies and any wall tickling weeds..that's not a man.

If he does'nt stand on four towering legs with big split hoofs and can't put me in his palm to make me weak with just his tongue..He's unclaimable.

No wiggly,thick and slippery tentacles to probe,pump and make every hole squish while sucking my nip nips raw..Nahh....

If he does'nt have 10 different sized otherworldly dongs to make my eyes glaze and pant like a thirsty animal while swelling my ovaries and belly with intergalactic eggs,he can walk away.

If he does'nt have two heads,a muscular man body and 2 sets of Big John Wangs that have me open 24 hours..No.

If the guy is not shadowy,shaggy and has six sets of eyes with 4 logs competing for my holes..Why am I dating him??

If I'm not getting slapped by or sitting on an ice cold lump while trying to watch TV or do regular house stuff..or waking up to see thru pubes on my bed..NEXT

If he's not screeching like an eagle that mounts me like a lion,forcing me on all fours with a thumper size that feels like it's moving my organs around..NOPE

IF YOUR MAN IS NONE OF THE ABOVE,DUMP HIM. 💚

#monster fucker #monster lover #monster fudger #hornyposting #squishylovers #smut meme #monster fuqqer

[frozenmoonshine]

Ok, so, I just randomly decided to make a list of Top 10 hottest (male) TR charcters... No idea why, it just popped in my head, lmao.

I wrote this 97% for the lolz, so don't take it too seriously.

So, here it is:

Top 10 Hottest Guys of Tokyo Revengers

10. MITSUYA - It's common knowledge that he's the Husband Material ™️ of the series! He was introduced as this responsible, mature, reliable guy with a somewhat eccentric hobby, and you may be into the cool, calm, collected, talented, kind ones, who're good with kids and house chores, but you can't convince me that your ovaries didn't do a happy little backflip with his glow-up in the last arc! You just know he's a little devil behind that whole boy-next-door act. 😏

9. SHIN - Ok, throughout the most part of the story, he was just Mikey's dead brother, who Mikey himself led us to believe was weak, generally lame, and a hopeless loser with women. Then we got the flashback chapters in the last arc, and what did we see? Capable, hardworking, caring, loving, selfless, persistant man, strong both in a fight and in holding his ground. Hell, he cared for vegetative Mikey for four years, pretty much all alone, sacrificing his own dreams and life in the process. Also, black turtlenecks and bomber jackets. That's all I'm gonna say.

8. HANMA - Who doesn't love a bit of occasional insanity?! The ultimate troll, both in the verse and in the fandom, tricked us all good! That's just how bored he was. Annoying, completely random and unpredictable, grinning madman who's only there to watch the world burn, by setting it ablaze with his own hotness! I mean, tall, tattoed, well dressed, cocky, handsome bastard, with sleepy eyes, anyone?! I hate the fact that he's giving an inexplicably strong 'boyfriend vibe'! But, I just wanna call him 'Shuuji'... 🤭

7. HAKKAI - This cutie is criminally underrated and slept on! I know Wakui did him dirty by not giving him a more complex personality than just a Mitsuya simp, but look at him! Tall, handsome, strong, blue eyes, lip scar, piercing. No wonder he ended up with a modeling career! And on top of the stunning looks, he's just a pure, shy baby! 🥺 Makes you wanna tease and corrupt the hell out of him! 🤭 Besides, his implied clinginess and loyalty suggest he's a keeper, and if that isn't hot, I don't know what is!

6. MIKEY - The definition and the school example of that old proverb - the strongest poisons are kept in the tiniest flasks. Yes, having incredible fighting prowess is hot, being a capable leader is hot, having endless authority is hot, being "emo" is hot, being painfully cute is hot... We don't care that he's pocket sized (and mentally unstable), with his endless charisma, our favorite gang leader very well deserved his place on this list!

5. WAKA - Simply, he's sexy and he knows it. And we know it. You know it. Your grandma knows it. Everyone knows it. Teen or adult, law abiding citizen or a crime lord, the White Leopard could make anyone anywhere fall for him at the snap of his fingers! ...if he only cared enough to do so, tho.

4. KOKO - Intelligent, smart, sassy, sarcastic, and plain insolent = perfection. This cheeky, well-read, super stylish, handsome motherfucker had us fawning over his strong, passion-driven personality, hidden under the cool façade. What's not to love about a blindly devoted guy?! It doesn't matter if it's the devotion to a cause or a person he deems important (#lucky Inui siblings). But fair be fair, that habit of sticking his tongue out should be X rated...

3. BAJI - If his fiery, man-among-the-men personality, undying loyalty, and endless kindness aren't enough to make you burn like a car, just take a look at that perfectly chiseled face, cocky smirk, and glorious raven locks! Still not convinced? Well, you're either blind, dead, or not into guys at all! We should actually be grateful that his adult version was only ever shown at the very last chapter, cause anything more than that would have been beyond too hot to handle!

2. KAZUTORA - There's just something indescribably magnetic about the whole "redeemed sinner" trope, and that alone would have been enough to get him a spot on this list! But since he also happens to have the handsomest face in the show, a beauty mark under the eye, the cutest smile, a piercing, a tattoo, and a fair amount of badassery and strength, it all sums up to the total of our dear banana tiger being the runner-up!

1. HARUCHIYO - Does this one really need any explanation? Pathological loyalty is beyond hot, wearing a mask is hot, scars are super hot (as already established), suits are hot, piercings are hot, long lashes are hot, pale blond/albino is hot, green eyes are hot, skillfully wielding a sword is hot, smarts are hot, being a little bit deranged is hot... the list could really go on for days, there's literally nothing about him that doesn't make him hot. "...Being a homicidal maniac and a drug addict?" No, he's excused for all red flags on the account of pretty privilege!

#tokyo revengers #sanzu haruchiyo #hanemiya kazutora #baji keisuke #kokonoi hajime #imaushi wakasa #sano manjiro #hanma shuuji #sano shinichiro #mitsuya takashi #tokrev headcanons #tokrev x reader #mikey #baji #haruchiyo #black dragon tokyo revengers #mitsuya #tokrev koko #tr hanma #kazutora #tokyo revengers manga #tokyo revengers headcanons #shiba hakkai

[daddyy333]

modern!mom!Robin x pregnant!reader

if you’d like you can reblog my original work, but please don’t post it without credit. if you take inspiration from my ideas please tag me, I’d like to see how someone else would write it

word count: 15.7k

warnings: ivf, reader is pregnant, reader has morning sickness, reader loses her appetite sometimes, reader passes out, bed rest, labor, birth, breastfeeding, ?

summary: you bring Robin and yours first child into the world

When Robin saw you holding and playing with Steve and Nancy’s baby for the first time, her heart swelled and her ovaries were on fire and she could physically feel the eggs shooting out of her ovaries. She knew biologically that obviously couldn’t work but she wanted nothing more than to have 100 of your babies right then and there.

It shocked her. She’d never felt that before in her life. She’d never really wanted kids before, and she wasn’t upset about the fact that her sexuality prevented her from having any. But now, god did she wish one of you could produce sperm.

Holy shit did her panties get wet when her mind drifted to the thought of you being pregnant. Your egg or hers, that baby would still be hers and just the hypothetical thought of knowing that you wanted to put yourself through that for her made her weak in the knees.

You’d look so beautiful, a little baby bump on you. God, she was dying to see it. But you two had never talked about kids before. Never once had either of you mentioned the idea of trying to have a baby one day, and that was because you both thought that if the other wanted one they’d say something and you’d talk about it.

But every time Robin tried, it was like her throat closed up and she couldn’t breathe. She was so nervous to ask about something like this, this wasn’t like buying a new couch or something, this was having a baby you were gonna be responsible for for the next 18 years.

You two had also watched Nancy go through that whole pregnancy and even visited for a bit when she was in labor, and you certainly didn’t look thrilled. Neither was she, but she didn’t want to have to put you through that if for some reason she couldn’t do it. It looked really painful and uncomfortable, sure the pictures were cute and the bump looked adorable on Nancy and would be 10x cuter on her own wife but she wasn’t sure if it was worth the pain it came with.

But, she’d started secretly and sort of accidentally saved up for the cost of everything for the last 5 months while she was trying to bring this up to you. Thankfully, you had set your life up right before meeting Robin and you were a CEO of *insert company of job here i don’t know high paying jobs ok I’m poor😭😭* and made enough to support you and Robin completely on your own but Robin would never do that to you.

You helped her get a job that definitely paid a little too much for the position but it was benefiting the two of you so you didn’t care. It was perfect for Robin and it gave you a little extra cushion in case something happened to the house or one of the cars.

You had a decent amount of savings racked up already, and these last 5 months Robin had racked up around 4,000 for the cost of getting pregnant through whatever medical procedure you two chose. Yea, that job definitely paid way too much. But Robin was hoping that by showing you how much she managed to save in a few months, that this was possible.

It took a few more days, but she finally worked up the courage to do it. She saw you talking to the neighbors 1 year old who had waddled over to you whilst his mom was getting stuff out of the car. You were getting the mail, when you heard a little babble and looked down.

“Hey, little guy…where’s your mommy, huh?” You asked, looking around and quickly realizing that the neighbor was doing something and was obviously busy. “You know, it’s dangerous to be wandering off like that. Could really scare your mom, and you don’t wanna do that, right?” You said and bent down to his level, smoothing his hair back.

He cooed and you smiled waving at him. A few minutes later his mom looked around and then called his name, obviously panicking. “Hey, hey….sorry, he wandered over here and I noticed you were busy so I just kept an eye on him for a moment” you said, hoping she wouldn’t be upset.

She hugged you and said “thank you, so much. Gosh, ever since he learned how to walk he’s been so curious. I really am gonna lose him one day, I’m gonna have to put him inside first next time” “of course, of course. If you ever need, my wife and I can probably watch him for you. She loves kids, and he seems like a sweet little man” you said and she smiled.

“Thank you for the offer, I might have to take you up on it one day” she said and you both chuckled. You talked a little more and then went back inside and Robin was curled up in a ball on the couch watching T.V.

You thought she was just being Robin, but in reality she was dying inside. She wanted to have a baby with you so freaking badly, she needed it.

She got up and walked over to you in the kitchen, on the opposite side of the little island and said “babe…” “what’s up, beautiful?” You asked and she took a deep breath. She cleared her throat and said “h-how would…what-…I- d-…”

“Robin…what’s wrong? What’s going on, are you okay?” You asked, cupping her cheek and trying to initiate eye contact incase for some reason she was having an anxiety attack or maybe seizure or a stroke or something. You always thought the worst when it came to Robin.

“I’m fine…I just…I really- okay, uhm, I-I really want a baby. Like so freaking bad. I don’t know why, but ever since I saw you with Steve and Nancy’s baby I’ve been going crazy and can’t stop thinking about having a baby with you. I-I don’t care who carries the baby, o-or babies if- i-if that’s what happens cause that can happen. But also it’d be really really really hot and adorable and just…god, you with a baby bump I mean- I-I’m speechless you know, you would look so beautiful with our little baby in there. But I could do it for you if you don’t want to. Nancy was in a lot of pain you know, and that doesn’t exactly look like a whole lot of fun and also she looked like she was in a lot of pain before she started pushing, I can’t even imagine how much it would hurt to push an entire 8 pound baby out. But for you, oh for you I’ll have 100 babies if it makes you happy. I’d be just as happy to carry our baby and grow it and go through all the pain and feel it kick and scream and cry and tear myself in half to push it out for you. And- and I know it can be expensive, but if we save up for a few months together and take some of our savings out we can be like…6 months pregnant by this time next year. Or- or not. We don’t have to, if that’s not what you want. I know babies are a lot of work, I just- I had to get it off my chest, you know…um,” Robin said, you could tell she was nervous as shit, you wanted to giggle at the memory of her being just as rambly on your wedding day.

You stood there in shock for a few moments, sure you’d thought about having kids but you weren’t entirely sure if you wanted them. You were kinda scared to be pregnant if you were being honest, and that was one of the perks of being married to a woman, you’d never have to worry about it.

It was all just so…stressful. The thought of carrying a child, a human inside of you and your body stretching that much to accommodate it, sounds creepy and painful. You hated surgery, and definitely didn’t want a c-section, you didn’t want to be within 100 feet of a scalpel. An epidural is literally terrifying, you were pretty sure Nancy said that when she finally got it she literally couldn’t feel anything, and you really didn’t want to lose feeling in any part of your body and be stuck in a bed for who knows how long. You were a little like Robin in that sense, when you were panicking or really really stressed about something you wanted to move and pace around.

It was all just so much to think about, being pregnant and having a baby is a big deal. But…the way Robins face lit up when she talked about you being pregnant and mentioned you having a little bump. She obviously really wanted this, and it definitely made you want to give her a baby. All the “what if’s” were killing you, but you might just do it but only because it’s her. You’d do anything for her.

When you finally came back from your little la la land of thinking, Robin wasn’t in front of you anymore. You heard small sobs in the bedroom, and panicked. You ran to the bedroom, carefully opening the door so you didn’t startle her and she had crumbled to the floor, knees to her chest as she cried.

“Baby, baby hey, come on, it’s okay. Don’t cry, please sweetheart. Robin, you have to calm down” you said and held her face in your hands, wiping her tears away. She shook her head and said “no- no I- I fucked e-everything up…a-and now you pr-probably hate me-”

“I don’t hate you, Robin. I could never hate you if I tried. Please, sweetheart, I just want you to calm down so we can talk” you said and she let out a shaky breath. She whimpered and you pulled her onto your lap, hugging her tight and trying to calm her down.

“I didn’t mean to scare you…I just…having a baby and being pregnant is really big, you know? It’s scary and also really expensive. I’d do anything for you, Robin. I know this is very important for you, and I’m sure you’ve put a lot of thought into it and you’re ready for it…so I think that yes, w-we can try to have a baby. I’ll carry it, I don’t want you going through that kind of pain. Plus, you have a lot going through that little head all the time and you still work hard to regulate your emotions and the things you say and those pregnancy hormones would really mess up your whole system up there, and I don’t want you to have to buy new maternity clothes that trigger your sensory issues and you’d probably be way more uncomfortable being pregnant than I would and would probably have a heart attack during the labor and I don’t know I just- I don’t think you’ll be happy if you were pregnant. I’d rather do it, I could probably handle it better” you said, trying to say the right things that wouldn’t make her more upset.

“That’s not fair to you….” she mumbled into your neck, sniffling softly. You sighed and said “maybe…but I don’t want to put you through 9 months of hell when I could do it instead. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, and I know being pregnant would change your body and the way you live in ways you might not be able to handle bub” “But…but what about you…” she asked and you sighed.

It took a week to convince her to let you be the one to have the baby, and then you guys really started saving up for it. You saved up enough to do two rounds, which took a year and a half. Then, you made appointments and everything went into motion.

You and Robin would both be going through the process of retrieving and fertilizing both of your eggs, that way you had plenty and you could keep them if you decide to have more babies in the future. However, you were going to be carrying Robins egg fertilized by whatever donor you chose and if you two decide to have more kids, no matter who carries it, it’ll be your egg. You had already chosen the donor so the eggs were fertilized and implanted and it was time to wait.

You didn’t want to test before the official blood test you would have at the doctor's office, you knew it would only stress you out more. You could tell Robin was getting antsy, she really wanted to know. But for your benefit, she’d wait a century if she had to.

The first attempt failed, and god did it hurt. You and Robin both knew very well that it didn’t always take the very first time, I mean hell this is the first time your body had ever come in contact with a fertilized egg. You just really wished that it would’ve taken the first time, you were really worried you would struggle too much and wouldn’t be able to get pregnant and make your dreams come true.

The second one failed and you wanted to give up, and you almost did. Maybe you weren’t meant to have kids, maybe this was god telling you not to have kids. It felt stupid, but you couldn’t help how you felt. Why couldn’t your body just accept these stupid eggs? It shouldn’t be this hard and this painful.

You gave it another try and the third one took, and you were so so so happy. That time you had to go alone to the doctor because Robin accidentally agreed to go on a work trip for her job and didn’t realize your test was on one of the days she would be gone.

She didn’t want you to tell her over the phone, if it was negative, she wanted to find out in person. By the time she got home, you were still only 5 weeks pregnant, but you knew you couldn’t lie and say it failed again as a part of some sort of surprise, you guys had been waiting for this for way too long.

You set up a camera in the living room facing the front door so you could get her reaction on video to watch till the end of time, and quickly ran back to the bedroom. You were nervous and excited, you couldn’t wait to tell her.

“Babe? I’m home!….Babe!” She said and you came out of the bedroom, the ultrasound picture in your back pocket. You ran over and hugged her, she picked you up and spun you around a little and you giggled, kissing her a few times.

“Are you okay? How did everything go?” She asked, you knew what she was talking about. You bit your lip and pulled the ultrasound picture out and she furrowed her eyebrows. You chuckled and pointed to a little blob on the picture as you said “that….is our baby,”

You both immediately teared up at the words “our baby”. “Oh my god…stop, stop please- are you serious? You’re pregnant?” She asked, tears already spilling down her cheeks. You nodded and said “yea…we did it babe”

“Oh my god” Robin said and hugged you, sobbing into your chest. You whimpered as she buried her head into your neck, placing a gentle kiss to her hair and holding her as she cried. She bent down and kissed your belly, she knew that the baby couldn’t hear or see or even think yet but she was just so happy.

You placed a hand on her head, wiping your tears as she said “hi, baby…mom loves you so much already, you don’t even know” “yea she freaking does” you said and she wrapped her arms around your waist so tight, she was just so happy and excited to finally be having a baby with you.

She talked to the baby every day, and it made you feel so loved. She was attached to you at the hip now, and even though your stomach was still the same as before and you literally weren’t even having symptoms yet, knowing that there was a baby in there made her go crazy.

She was so proud of you, and if you thought she worshiped the ground you walked on before she really did now. You and that baby were her main priority now, she never went more than 3 hours without trying to call you at work to check on you.

You started having morning sickness at 7 weeks, at first it was okay but by your first appointment at 10 weeks you couldn’t keep a meal down. Robin felt so bad, it even made her cry sometimes. She felt like somehow it was her fault, like she shouldn’t have mentioned having a family or you being the pregnant one because now you hated eating and was starting to lose weight because of it.

They gave you medication to help with the morning sickness and vitamins to help support your body and your health during the pregnancy and you got to hear the heartbeat, which made Robin cry like a baby. She filmed the heartbeat playing and even took a few pictures with your belly in the frame, still trying to really process that you’ve got a precious little angel in there.

You smiled as you got your blood work done, seeing her outside waiting for you with a grin on her face, the volume up just high enough that you could tell she was rewatching the recording of Baby Buckley’s heartbeat. (You decided to start calling them that since when you got married you hyphenated your last name with Robins and it also sounded really good. “Baby Buckley”…literally melted your heart every time you said it)

You couldn’t believe she was this happy just to be with you and experience this with you and have this baby with you. You loved that about her. Nothing about your relationship was awkward or questionable, her love for you was so real and so genuine it was overwhelming sometimes.

You started showing a little about a week later, there was a sudden bloat that wouldn't go away which you realized was your bump starting to grow. You didn’t really say anything to Robin, but she noticed anyway.

“Babe…babe, come here!” She said as you were trying to leave for work. You hummed and turned around, waiting for her to say something. She walked over and lifted your shirt up, gasping slightly. It wasn’t that big, and you would only be able to tell you were pregnant if you already knew, but Robin was already crying about it.

“Y/n, look!” She said, placing her hand over your belly, sniffling. You chuckled and said “I know, bub. I noticed it this morning” “why didn’t you say anything?!” She said with a playfully annoyed tone in her voice.

She kissed your tiny bump as you said “it’s not much of a difference, I didn’t even think you’d notice” “that’s our baby, y/n/n. Of course I noticed. Oh, hi baby buckley!” she said and kissed your belly again, murmuring about how much she loves the baby.

You tried to leave for work but she grabbed the Polaroid and had to take a picture, and yes you were late for work, but you just loved seeing Robin so happy. You were so thankful to have her with you through all of this, you honestly don’t know what you’d do without her.

It felt like you grew overnight, because by the time you were 4 months, just barely into the second trimester, you were buying new clothes because your bump had gotten too big. Robin was obsessed with it though, constantly having a hand on your bump and talking to the baby about any and everything.

You barely had to tell the group about the baby, it was pretty obvious by how much more Robin was clinging to you and the fact that you were using the bathroom quite a lot due to morning sickness and the baby sitting right over your freaking bladder. They were super excited though, Steve’s son was way out of that baby stage and was more toddler than baby and they certainly missed when he was all small and bundled up in his swaddle like a little football.

You did have to explain the process, especially to the younger kids. Steve, Nancy, and Eddie sorta had an idea of how it happened, but the younger ones thought sex was the only way to make a baby. They were shocked to find out it was possible for you to be carrying a baby that was biologically Robins, it kinda freaked Eddie out.

As you got bigger, Robin was going crazier. You looked so beautiful, running a hand over your belly absentmindedly as you murmured things to the baby here and there. Not to mention, your boobs had swelled up some already and Robin was drooling anytime you wore a remotely low cut shirt.

She swore to god you were glowing but most days you felt like crap cause the morning sickness still hadn’t gone away and everything was achy and you felt like just a blob of swollen everything. She was so so so excited to meet them, it felt like time had flown so fast yet not fast enough.

Then, you felt kicks. You had just gotten to work and you were already moving a lot this morning, a lot more than usual but you weren’t in too much pain so it was okay. You were in the elevator, having to go all the way to one of the top floors to talk to a coworker.

You felt an odd swoosh or something in your belly and furrowed your eyebrows, placing a hand on your belly. A few moments later you felt it again and then felt what you thought was butterflies. You were so confused, you’d never felt this before.

You kept feeling it that whole time, and when you got back to your office you were starting to get worried. It’s been half an hour, and these flutters and swooshes hadn’t stopped for more than five minutes at a time. You sighed and called Nancy, chewing on your lip nervously.

You explained the situation to her, and she screamed with happiness. Your eyes widened and you said “what- what is it? Nancy, seriously I’m getting worried. What if somethings wrong with the baby?” “No, no oh my god no it’s kicking! Your baby is kicking!” She said and you gasped, looking down at your bump.

“What? No, I’m barely 5 months! The doctor said I wouldn’t feel them till 6 most likely” you said and Nancy scoffed over the phone. She sighed and said “that’s total bullshit, I felt them at 4. Everyone’s different, and almost all of the moms at daycare felt them early on too. 6 months my ass”

“Oh…fuck, time is flying” you said, tears filling your eyes as you felt those soft little kicks again. Nancy chuckled and said “I know, I know. You get pregnant and you can never blink or you’ll be at your kids high school graduation”

You talked a bit more, cried a little and then got back to work. They started kicking again after you ate lunch. It made you chuckle, it felt so weird yet incredible to know your little one was growing and getting bigger and stronger.

You then began to cry again, because Robin didn’t get to feel the first kicks. She’s been waiting for them since before you even got pregnant, it was gonna break her heart. You let out a shaky breath, rubbing your bump as the baby kicked some more.

When you got home, you burst into tears as soon as you saw Robin. She immediately ran to you, hugging you and trying to calm you down. You whimpered and cried into her neck, mumbling about what had happened but she couldn’t understand.

“Babygirl, you have to calm down and tell me what happened or I can’t help” she said, rubbing your back. You rested your head on her chest, sobs still racking your body as you took deep breaths with her. You didn’t wanna tell her, but you knew she wasn’t gonna let you not tell her what had caused you to cry this hard.

“I-I uhm…oh god, I c-can’t” you said and she kissed your head and continued to soothe you, she’d stand her all day if she had to. You felt so bad, like somehow this is your fault. You felt a kick and nearly fell to the ground, you couldn’t stop your crying and that only made it worse.

“Babe, babe…hey okay come on let’s sit, come on…you gotta breathe y/n, please. Deep breaths, come on. I can only help you if you calm down and talk to me” she said, wiping your tears away as you sat on her lap, sobs still racking your body.

“I…I- fuck…you’re gonna h-hate me” you said and she shook her head. She smoothed your hair back and said “no, no I could never hate you…no matter what, baby, I’ll always love you. You could never do anything to make me hate you”

You let out a shaky breath, resting your head in the crook of your neck. She took off your blazer and your shoes, letting you relax a little. “I-I- I felt th-the baby kick for the first t-time today…” you finally said and she gasped, sitting up straighter.

“What?! Baby, that’s so good! That’s amazing, why are you so sad?” She asked and you whimpered. A sob slipped out before you said “b- be-because you didn’t get t-to feel the first k- kic-kicks”

“Baby, hey it’s okay…of course I would’ve loved to feel their first kicks but I understand that they were gonna start kicking whenever they wanted. I was never guaranteed to feel those first kicks, I know that. I’m not gonna hate you, it’s not even your fault. And I don’t hate the baby either, I’ll probably get to feel thousands of other kicks before our little baby Buckley gets here” Robin said and you whimpered.

You kept crying most of the night, you just felt so bad that she missed it. Eventually she realized there was no soothing you completely so she just laid with you, poking your belly to make the baby kick. She was never gonna get used to that.

You later found out it was a girl and you were so happy, you wanted a little mini Robin more than anything. You had so many weird cravings, but Robin almost never made you feel bad for them. Even the especially gross ones.

Orange’s and ranch nearly made her barf. But you looked so happy she couldn’t bring herself to say anything. You also couldn’t stop eating ramen, holy shit you’d do anything for ramen most days. You craved McDonalds a lot, especially the fries. You’d even woken her up at 2 in the morning for it one time.

You woke up starving, and whilst looking for food you noticed the McDonald’s wrapper in the trash from a few days ago and instantly you were 10x hungrier. The baby seemed to be too, she was kicking quite a bit.

You were near the end of your 6th month of pregnancy, which meant the baby was getting even bigger and you were starving 24/7. It’s like everything you ate was only for the baby.

“Babe…Robin…” you said and she gasped, trying to sit up. She cleared her throat and said “wha- what’s wrong? Are you okay, is she okay?” “Yea, yea we’re fine, baby, sorry…uhm…I’m just- I-I’m really hungry and I was wondering if you could take me to McDonald’s” you said and she chuckled.

She rolled over and kissed your bump, caressing it softly. “Yea, babe I can take you to McDonald’s” she said, her voice all raspy and sleepy which made you wish you still had the energy to have sex with her.

She washed her face a little and slipped some shoes on and you were out the door, her hand on your belly as she drove you to McDonalds. She bought you nuggets, fries, and a milkshake even though you said you didn’t need all of it. She had to make sure her girls were fed.

She also had to see the smile on your face as you took your first few bites of the fries, closing your eyes and smiling. You both chuckled and you placed a hand on your bump as you said “she’s kicking like crazy, oh my god” “really?” She asked and you nodded. She placed a hand on your stomach and smiled, the baby kicking up a storm underneath her hand.

“Oh my goodness sweetgirl…calm down before you hurt mommy” she said and you chuckled, taking a sip of your milkshake. You loved when Robin talked to the baby. It made you fall in love with her so much more, you didn’t know how much your heart could handle

You felt like you never stopped growing, constantly needing new clothes. Now that you were pretty much in the third trimester you were really starting to feel the pain. In your hips, your back, your feet, even your stomach sometimes just from how much it had grown in such a short period of time. The baby kicked so much, you were sure that she was the reason your lower belly was so sore all the time.

Robin obviously noticed, and constantly gave you messages. She didn’t realize it would hurt this bad, she knew it was painful but it broke her heart to see you tear up sometimes when you came home from work because of how bad it was.

She was the best partner you could’ve had. She took care of you, really took care of you. She ran you baths most nights to relax your tense and sore body, rubbing your feet when you needed and rubbing your back almost every night before bed. She was constantly massaging lotion into your belly to make the baby relax and eventually make you relax as well and fall asleep. That was her favorite way to fall asleep with you.

It was getting a lot harder to work the farther you got into the pregnancy, especially during the last few weeks before maternity leave. By then, you were 30 weeks and felt like death. Even though you were getting paid maternity leave you knew babies were expensive and decided to go on maternity leave at 35 weeks instead of now or any earlier so you’d have enough money to take care of your new family of 3 for a few months.

What you didn’t mention to Robin was that you’d been feeling so weak lately, and your appetite was surprisingly disappearing which made you dizzy and you were being super overworked all the time. You were in a lot of pain too, the baby was moving a lot and jabbing and kicking at your ribs sometimes, even knocking the wind out of you occasionally.

You felt so stressed all of a sudden like you needed more on your plate, you felt like you weren’t prepared at all for this baby and like you were gonna get fired at any moment and everything would crash and burn and this baby would die because you couldn’t keep it together.

You knew that these thoughts were way out of line and just things made up in your head, but at the same time it felt so real. It even kept you up at night sometimes. What if you did all the work, paid all these fees and got to the end and she was stillborn. God, it would kill you. It would literally kill you.

Last night you literally didn’t sleep at all, not one bit. You were trying for 3 hours before you got up and started watching T.V and then cleaned the kitchen and then reorganized the spice cabinet by alphabetical order and finally it was 5am and you could start getting ready for work.

You showered and Robin rubbed lotion all over you, especially in the places you couldn’t reach, kissing you softly and smiling at you. She obviously didn’t realize you weren’t with her almost the whole night, she usually did but she must’ve been in a deep sleep last night.

You left for work, skipping breakfast, and found out the elevators weren’t working. You took the stairs which literally knocked the wind out of you and you had to stop twice, one because you were practically wheezing and then the baby was kicking so much and you didn’t want to move.

You were light headed by the time you got to your office, your stomach rumbling. You didn’t wanna eat just to throw it back up, everything just made you nauseous lately. Maybe this was punishment or something for not doing better, having the stupid first trimester nausea and morning sickness all over again.

You felt so exhausted by noon, barely able to stay awake. It was time for lunch which you usually tried to skip but you had to eat something today. You made it down 4 flights of stairs before you passed out and fell, down a few steps and to the ground, barely able to breathe.

You were only slightly conscious, your eyes were so heavy you couldn’t open them and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. You tried to call out for help but you couldn't. You felt so weak. Eventually, you couldn’t fight back anymore and you were completely unconscious, barely breathing and praying to god the baby would be okay.

Luckily someone found you less than 10 minutes later and got an ambulance for you. By then your lips were turning purple and you were really pale and you practically looked dead. You still had a pulse, thank fucking god, but paramedics couldn’t immediately tell if the baby was okay.

They gave you CPR and oxygen the entire way to the hospital, and you sort of woke up a few times but you didn’t remember it. Based on the ultrasound, everything looked okay so far and the baby had a heartbeat and was even kicking.

The coworker that found you called Robin and instantly her heart dropped. She’d never started crying so fast in her life. She almost forgot to put shoes on because of how fast she was trying to get out the door.

She nearly got caught speeding by police and almost crashed twice but she made a 17 minute drive in 9 minutes. She ran to the front desk asking for your name and they said you hadn’t arrived yet. That was a huge mistake.

Robin immediately broke into sobs, resting her head on the desk as all the emotions came flowing out. The nurse was trying to calm her down and comfort her but she was on the verge of an anxiety attack and she couldn’t regulate her emotions no matter how hard she tried.

The commotion at the E.R entrance caught her attention and she instantly recognized that shirt. You hated that shirt. Hated it. Said it was the ugliest thing in the store, but also was one of the few things in your size at the store so it was either that or go to work naked.

She ran to you, not letting any nurses stop her. “Baby…baby- y/n, hey, hey come on, wake up! Wake up! Y/n…” she panicked, cupping your cheek and placing a hand on your bump. You were so pale, so fucking pale. Your lips were purple and your body wasn’t as warm as it should’ve been.

“No- no hey s-she’s not dead right? S-She can’t be- I- oh my god-” Robin said and the paramedic said “Miss, I understand you're scared but you have to let us do our job. We’re gonna try our best to help your wife, please step aside”

A nurse came over and slowly guided her to the waiting room, calming her down a bit before she let her be. Robin grabbed her phone from her pocket with a shaky hand, calming Steve’s number. “Hey, Rob…what’s up?” He asked and all he got was a shaky breath and a whimper. He immediately panicked, Robin had only called him crying 3 times before.

The first time was when you had your first big fight, Robin forgot a date and it made you really mad because you had already felt like she was pulling away and just used you as an experiment. She was so scared that day, she really didn’t want to lose you.

The second time was the night before you got married. She nearly had an anxiety attack, worrying that you didn’t really want this and eventually you'll realize your mistake and leave her. Steve threatened to call you so many times but Robin didn’t want to mess the plans up.

The most recent time was the day you told her you were pregnant. That was less of a sad cry and more of a happy cry, but she didn’t call crying just because.

So now, you can imagine why he’d be nervous. She let out a small sob and said “S-Steve…” His heart broke, she sounded so scared and so hurt. He instantly responded, softly letting her know he was there.

“Hey, hey what’s wrong? Are you okay? Is y/n and the baby okay?” He asked and she bit her lip. She cleared her throat and said “can y-you…come to th-the hospital ple-ease?” “Yea, yea of course I can…I’m on my way I’ll see you soon” he said and she hung up, closing her eyes as she tried to calm herself down.

She couldn’t stop panicking. Knowing you might be hurt, or the baby might be hurt, was killing her. Steve got there as quickly as he could, not breaking as many traffic laws as she did but he got there faster than he should’ve.

Once he saw her he ran towards her, bending down and meeting her eyes as she looked at the ground. “What happened? Did something happen to y/n?” He asked. It broke her.

She instantly looked away, beginning to cry again. He pulled her up and hugged her, rubbing her back as she sobbed into his chest. He sat down and let her curl up in his lap and cry, he knew that whatever happened was being taken care of by doctors so getting her to tell him why she was in the waiting room of a hospital wasn’t his main concern at the moment.

She was so scared, so fucking scared. What caused this? Was she not taking care of you well enough? Did she do something to cause this?

“She…s-she passed out a-at work…fell d-down the stairs a-a little and…a-and passed o-out” she said and whimpered, she just wanted to know if you were okay or not. Steve smoothed her hair back as he said “hey, hey it’s gonna be okay. She’s strong, so so strong. You remember when Nancy passed out when her water broke, she was just fine”

“This- th- t-this is different. Y/n…s-she’s weak…her body- i-it gave out on her. N-Nancy was just- she was i-in shock…y/n might be sick- s-she could be dying. I can’t- I-I can’t lose them, Steve…” Robin said, her mind beginning to go numb, which also helped her stop crying.

“Y/n is going to be just fine. She’s in good hands, these doctors know what they’re doing” he said and Robin shook her head, sniffling. She bit her lip and said “I should’ve n-never said anything…I-I knew this was a-a bad idea. O-Of course she was gonna get h-hurt. I am an…a-awful wife”

“Hey, hey no you’re not. Neither of you could’ve predicted that something this scary was going to happen. This happens to many pregnant women all over the world, there’s no way they don’t know how to help her. You’re an incredible wife, Robin. Y/n is so lucky to have you, she can’t possibly know how lucky she is” he said and Robin shook her head, picking at her nails.

It took an hour for them to call for the family of Y/n Buckley, and Robin immediately got off of Steve and got to the doctor so fast her feet were on fire. Steve jolted slightly, he had fallen asleep a few minutes ago and definitely wasn’t expecting that.

“Is she oka- i-is the baby okay? What’s wrong with her? Is she gonna be okay? How did this happen-” she said before Steve came up behind her and just slowly put his hand over her mouth. She turned around, eyebrows furrowed and eyes full of worry. “Let the doctor talk, Rob” he said and moved his hand back down.

“Your wife is okay. She passed out from what we presume to be exhaustion, as well as lack of food and she was dehydrated. It seems as though the pregnancy has taken a sudden toll on her body, causing her medications to keep her from throwing up and keep her appetite up to not work as well. She hasn't really eaten in a while, we could tell so we want to keep her 48 hours and see her eat 3 meals a day, or at least 2. She is going to have to go on bed rest for most likely the remainder of the pregnancy, the fall caused some bruising on her lower back and her right side, and her body needs to gain it’s strength back to prepare for labor and birth. She needs to stay in bed as much as possible, and limit her time out of bed to 60 minutes a day. It’s important she rests, she needs it to help her have a safe and healthy labor and delivery” the doctor said and she bit her lip, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

“S-She’s gonna be…o-okay?” She whimpered, the doctor asking if she wanted to come see you. She nodded so fast her head nearly rolled off her neck. You were sleeping when she got to you, which initially scared the shit out of her before she realized you just needed rest.

Steve got her settled, made sure she wasn’t squeezing your hand too tight and left to get food. You looked much better than before. Color had come back to your skin and lips, and they had been giving you I.Vs and you had 2 protein shakes while you were awake. Robin was still scared out of her mind.

She doesn’t understand how she didn’t notice you were so exhausted and drained. She should’ve known. A good wife would’ve noticed and taken care of you. Obviously she wasn’t worth your love. She should’ve prevented this, she can’t even notice when you're on the verge of passing out, how will she be able to take care of you.

You slept for god only knows how long, murmuring things in your sleep occasionally and shifting positions a couple times. Usually you’d wake up a lot to pee or because of some kind of pain or the baby was kicking too much to let you sleep, but she was glad you were getting the rest you needed.

When you did wake up, she started crying again. “Babe? Oh, oh hi baby” she said and cupped your cheeks as your gorgeous y/e/c eyes opened slowly. You whimpered and looked around slowly, realizing you were in a hospital.

“Shit…” you mumbled and Robin sighed shakily. She bit her lip and said “why didn’t you say anything?…do you not want to talk to me about these things o-or, or did I make you feel like y-you couldn’t? I- I-I don’t understand, I tried so hard to make sure you were taken c-care of-”

“it’s not you…” you said weakly, sighing softly. She took a deep breath and said “then what is it?” “I didn’t…I didn’t know it was t-this bad I thought I was just having a sh-shitty couple of weeks” you said and she brought your hand to her mouth, pressing a few kisses to it.

She opened your palm and pressed it to her face, holding it there and feeling the warmth of it, reminding her that you were okay. “Rob…” you said and she sighed shakily.

“It’s…its stupid, I-I know but…I almost thought t-that I wouldn’t feel this again, y-you know? Feel your hand on my face…h-hear your voice again. You were- y-you were pale as shit and your lips were turning purple I-….I mean you were dead!” She said and your eyes widened.

“That isn’t entirely true, miss…your wife was severely oxygen deprived, which is what caused the pale skin and purple lips. Her body tried to shut down to save itself, but we fixed her up and she’ll be okay. We previously discussed with your wife that you’ll be on bed rest for the remainder of your pregnancy to make sure you and the baby stay healthy, only 60 minutes out of bed is allowed. I can confirm that if you take the new medications we give you, and follow our instructions about bed rest and eating that you and your daughter will be just fine” the doctor said and you nodded, rubbing your bump.

Once they got your vitals and stuff they left you and Robin alone. She hadn’t let go of your hand the whole time. She refused, she wasn’t going to let you go ever again. You were never ever leaving her sight again, you wouldn’t be in the same room alone for a long ass time.

“I didn’t mean to scare you…” you said to break the silence. Robin had been really quiet, just caressing your hand softly, tears running down her cheeks. She looked up at you and said “I…I know. I just…I’m still processing everything. m’ really scared something else is gonna happen to one of you”

“I’m sorry…” you said, getting sleepy again and trying to stay awake. She shook her head and said “no, no don’t be sorry. Y-You didn’t do anything. It’ll be fine, I’m sure. I’m just scared, that’s all” You hummed and she used her fingers to push your eyelids down, making you smile a little.

She let go of your hand for a moment to tuck you in, kissing your head and going back to her spot to get some sleep as well. “Robin?” You asked about a half hour later, unable to sleep. She hummed and sat up, rubbing her eyes as she said “yes, sweetheart? What’s wrong, is everything alright?”

“Just uhm…why don’t you come sleep in the bed with me? I promise I’m not that injured” you said and she smiled a little. She crawled into bed with you and cupped your cheek, kissing your head and giving you no other option but to bury your head in her chest so she could hold you.

The next few weeks were a bit better, you were eating more and you felt so much more well rested and relaxed. You were finally managing to get some sleep, that pregnancy pillow Robin got you literally saving your life at this point. At first, one of you guys’ friends would come take care of you but Robin got early parental leave and was able to stay home from 32 weeks on.

She was constantly by your side, cuddling with you and feeling the baby move all the time. She was so eager to get out, but you still had 2 more months left with her hyper ass kicking up a storm in there. You loved her, you really did but man she could kick.

You felt better and healthier, and you were much happier too. Obviously you were still experiencing some pain, you were 8 months pregnant for fuck sake but Robin made it easier to manage. It was all gonna be worth it for this little girl.

Eventually you had to get a birthing ball to have at home, because you felt so much pressure and pain in your hips you just needed something to relieve the pain, even just a little. Robin was really sweet and would always rub your back or massage and squeeze your hips for you when she could tell you were in pain.

She even rubbed your feet for you, even though you didn’t want her to have to touch your feet she insisted. She didn’t care how gross you thought it was, she knew you needed the relief.

You were sure the baby knew who Robin was, she’d move a ton when she heard Robin's voice or when Robin grabbed your bump and said “hiii babygirl” with gentle kisses to your belly. You swore you were feeling her nuzzle her head into Robin's hands when she rubbed your bump at night, it was always the same motion and while it could’ve been her ass you would like to pick the cuter option and say it’s her head. Robin thought you were slightly delusional and this was some symptom of pregnancy brain but it was adorable watching how excited you got about it.

By the time you started the 9th month you were ready for this kid to be out. She was kicking and jabbing you so much, and your ribs were so sore cause she’d finally turned head down and started attacking your ribs. Robin saw a thing about holding your belly up to help with the pain or something online and she finally tried it and holy shit did it feel good. You finally felt some relief on your hips, and Robin would always stay for as long as you needed.

Some days were really hard, and you were in a lot of pain but Robin stayed up with you and did whatever she could to make it easier. You cried a lot thinking about how much you loved her and appreciated her, and it freaked Robin out a little how you could never seem to stop talking about her and how much she does for you. You loved her too much, you couldn’t help it.

You started nesting as well, which didn’t help at all. Even though you were still supposed be on bed rest you were constantly sneaking out of bed and cleaning the shit out of the apartment. Places you’d never even thought to clean before. One time Robin caught you standing on the kitchen counters to dust on top of the cabinets and literally lost her shit.

You only agreed to get down if Robin promised to clean it for you and she did, which led to a lot of sneezing but she would walk on glass before she let you do something dangerous like that at 36 weeks pregnant.

“You’re gonna give me a heart attack, you know that?” Robin said, you were now in bed with her arms wrapped around you so tight you were almost having a hard time breathing. “I just- I- you know I can’t explain it I just have to clean everything and make sure everything is okay for the baby. It’s not babyproofed enough there’s so much she could hurt herself on” you said, placing a hand over hers, which was obviously carressing your bump.

“You’re nesting,” Robin said and blushed a little, all these little things that came with the pregnancy made it feel so much more real, she’ll never be able to comprehend that this is actually happening, you’re actually having her baby.

“I am not nesting. That’s so…suburban stay at home white mom” you said and she chuckled. She kissed your head and said “you’re preparing your nest, mama bird” “don’t say that” you said and crossed your arms like you were mad, but she knew you weren’t.

“I read that it’s a sign labor is coming soon. Then again, it’s a little early for that, but a girl can dream” Robin said and you chuckled. She sighed and said “I just can’t wait to meet her. You’re gonna be such a good mom”

“You think so?” You asked, rubbing your lower bump. Robin chuckled and said “of course I do. In fact, I know you will. You’re amazing, y/n/n, this baby girl is so lucky to have you. She’s got the most beautiful, most patient, most loving, most kind, most caring mommy in the whole freaking planet”

“She’s got a pretty kick-ass mom too” you said and Robin blushed hiding in the crook of your neck. You sighed and said “I want her out already…I just want to kiss her little face and squeeze her little chubby cheeks and hold her tiny little body and cuddle her and hug her and just love her. How am I supposed to wait another month?” “I don’t know, babe. We’ll struggle together that’s for sure” she said and you chuckled, feeling a kick.

Picking a name for her was a bit of a struggle, you wanted to try and find something not super overused but not crazy and hard to spell or pronounce. You went through tons of names, trying to imagine her face based on the scans and trying to think of a name that would fit her.

You tried every name in the world, and finally two days before your due date you figured out her name. Jadyn Buckley. You liked it because it was pretty gender neutral and wasn’t too girly which you didn’t want. Robin liked how it sounded and since it was your favorite name that she suggested she loved it even more.

You were so glad you finally chose a name, Robin celebrated by running to your favorite bakery and grabbing a small cake. You thought it was weird to celebrate choosing your baby’s name, but then it turned into celebrating your last few days of being just the two of you.

For 8 years it’s just been the two of you. Pretty soon, there’ll be three of you and that’s something Robin never thought she’d be able to say. She felt so lucky to just have you, now she was about to have a baby with you and that’s just so special to her. She’ll never get over being able to say “my girls are waiting for me” or being able to think “I miss my girls”, and the baby isn’t even here yet.

She just knows she’s gonna be perfect. She does the cutest things during ultrasounds, yawning and turning over and using her hands to move around and stretch. Robin knows she’s the most adorable baby ever, she doesn’t have to see her to know that.

You hope she has Robin’s eyes. That’s all you care about. She could look any kind of way, she’d still be your gorgeous baby girl that you love no matter what, but you really hope she has Robin's eyes. Robin's eyes are your favorite thing in the whole world. They’re absolutely beautiful, and being able to see that little piece of Robin in Jadyn would just melt your heart.

You both knew it would be pretty rare for you to have her on your due date, not a lot of babies come on the due date. So you weren’t heartbroken when you went to bed still pregnant that night, but after being a week overdue you were losing your mind.

You couldn’t stop crying, you felt like a complete and total failure and you were kind of a mess. Your hormones were worse than they had ever been before, you were really really sensitive nowadays. Not to mention the pain you were in was excruciating and you had reached your breaking point.

You hadn’t slept in 27 hours now, you’d woken up at 3am yesterday and as much as you tried you couldn’t take any naps during the day and you’d been too uncomfortable to sleep tonight. You were making brownies now, you found brownie mix in the pantry and you were gonna lose your shit if you didn’t do something soon so making brownies it is.

“Babe? What the hell- get back in bed” Robin said and you groaned. You sighed and said “Robin just- please, go away. This goddamn kid has been kicking all night and I’m so sick of being in bed all the time I’m going insane I can’t fucking do anything without being in pain and I just- I need to do something, okay? I’m so sick of just crying in bed all the time, I feel like a piece of shit all I fucking do is complain and whine about how much everything hurts and it’s stupid but it’s all I have left to talk about. I haven’t left the house in 3 weeks and I’ve been wearing the same outfit for 4 days and I just- I can’t do this anymore! I’m going fucking crazy Robin I just want to feel like a human being again! Just let me make some fucking brownies!”

You sighed, put the spoon down, and placed your hands on the counter and let your head drop between your shoulders as you started crying. Robin knew you didn’t mean to be so aggressive and tell her to go away like that. She knew you were frustrated, she’d been trying to help in whatever way she could but she knew you were gonna snap eventually.

“Come here…come here, sweetheart,” she said and wrapped her arms around you, letting you bury your head into her chest as you cried. You wrapped your arms around her weakly as she rubbed your back, kissing your head softly.

“I’m s- sorry…I-I shouldn’t have s-snapped like th-that” you said and Robin shushed you, smoothing your hair back. She took a deep breath and said “don’t apologize baby. I know it’s getting overwhelming and I know that you’re struggling a ton right now and I’m so fucking proud of you for doing this. I know you wanna give up and just die or whatever, but you're so close to the end honey. I know it doesn’t feel or seem like it, but I’m sure that by this time next week you’ll be standing here with our baby in your arms wishing you were still pregnant because despite what you think I know you’ll miss your bump and you’ll miss having her in there all safe and sound. Sometimes you gotta get your stress and frustration out and I’m the only other person who’s home, so I get it. Don’t worry about it, I promise. I know you love me” she said and you smiled a little, sighing softly.

You hummed and pulled away wiping your tears as you said “I probably look and sound bat shit crazy right now” “only a little” Robin said and you both laughed as you continued scraping the last of the batter into the baking dish.

Robin moved behind you and started massaging your hips and lower back, making you gasp and groan softly. She smiled as you moved her hand to the left a little, wincing as she did. You leaned back and Robin pushed harder, making you whimper.

Eventually you took a short break so you could put the brownies in the oven and then Robin brought the birthing ball so she could continue doing god's work on your sore back. You leaned against one of the seats that went with the island in the kitchen and she massaged your back and hips whilst you waited for the brownies to finish.

By now, you’d tried everything to induce your labor. Even the things that were just myths, you had to keep trying because you really hated surgeries and needles. Sure you could handle a shot or an I.V but you didn’t want an epidural or a c-section. Those are terrifying, you’d honestly rather be pregnant forever than have to do either of those options.

So naturally, when your doctor set a date for you to be induced you were stressed out. Inducing could mean needles, and all kinds of other stuff and you really didn’t want that. But being 41 weeks and 4 days pregnant makes you desperate for anything that’ll get your damn baby out.

You still felt like a failure, like this was god telling you you were incompetent or something. Why couldn’t your body do what it was meant to do? Was it something you did? Are you just not meant to be a mom?

All those thoughts came to an end when you finally felt your first real contraction. You’d been feeling some really light and short ones on and off the last day or so but thought they were Braxton hicks. Now, you were on your way Steve’s house because they still offered for you to come over whenever everyone else did and since your body wasn’t showing any signs of getting this baby out any time soon you figured why not leave the house one last time because the next time you leave you’ll hopefully be coming home with 3 people instead of 2.

“Ow- oh shit…” you said and placed a hand on your stomach, squeezing Robin's hand as she had already been holding it the whole ride so far. She looked over quickly and said “wha- baby, what’s wrong?” “I- Mmh, it- my stomach…” you said and her eyes widened.

She pulled into Steve’s house and turned off the car as fast as she could, getting out and opening your door to help you better. It had passed pretty quickly, and you felt okay now you were just surprised by the pain. “Hey, hey are you okay? Is it the baby- are you-” she almost began to ramble before you stopped her.

“I’m fine,” you panted, circling your bump with your hand as you took a few deep breaths. “I-I think I just…had a contraction?” You said and Robins eyes widened. Her jaw dropped a little and she said “w-wh- contraction? Should we go to a hospital?”

“No, no…remember there’s the contractions before real labor. That’s probably what these are. Unless they’re 5 minutes apart or my water breaks we should be okay to do as we please, but I don’t want to be out too long” you said, caressing her face, already recovered and breathing just fine.

She nodded and you smiled a little, turning so you could get out of the car. She helped you out of the car, and you got inside and everyone was all over your bump, begging her to come out already. You were okay with them touching your bump, plus you’d gotten used to it by now.

You laid down one of the couches for most of the time you were there, cuddled up with Robin as the contractions came and went. They were nearly 15 minutes apart, and as long as you breathed through them and didn’t freak out you were fine. It only felt so bad the first time because you weren’t expecting it, but these barely hurt enough to truly mess with you. You could even talk through most of them, which helped Robin keep calm a little.

Even though they were manageable, you couldn’t sleep through them at all and eventually Robin couldn’t stay up any longer so you were either up for hours at a time or you woke up every 15 minutes because they were just strong enough to keep you awake.

By the next morning, they were a little stronger but still pretty far apart so you felt okay. But it killed your appetite completely, usually when you were in more serious kinds of pain you just couldn’t bring yourself to eat which really scared Robin but you drank some milkshakes and protein shakes for her.

You were really hoping the baby would be here or at least actually be on the way by tonight but no, she was still taking her sweet time. Robin fell asleep again, she was really exhausted and you couldn’t blame her, if you could sleep right now you totally would.

Now they were stronger and more intense, wrapping around your back and spreading down your thighs a little. You didn’t want to wake Robin up but you just wanted her to comfort you and hold you. Not to mention, it was really hard to stay in this position the whole time and keep quiet.

Eventually you snuck out of the room, little sobs racking your body as you made your way to the couch, holding onto it as another wave of pain hit you. You whimpered, gasping as you tried to breathe through the pain. You groaned, taking a few deep yet shaky breaths, whimpering softly as you tried to focus on something other than the pain.

You knew it only got worse from here and since your water hasn't broken yet you were getting kind of scared, how much worse could it get? You walked around the house, managing the pain and breathing through it like you were supposed to when suddenly, you felt a gush of water come out of you and you instantly froze.

You gasped, backing up a little looking down. Sure enough, there was a puddle of fluid where you had just been standing. You whimpered, grabbing a towel from the dirty laundry pile and cleaning up the mess. You took off your pants and underwear and put those in the dirty laundry pile too, going to the room to put new clothes on.

You were trying to dry your legs but you were still leaking and it was making you frustrated. You called your O.B really quickly and told her what happened and said to come in to the hospital as soon as possible.

“Baby,” Robin groaned, feeling for you in the bed. She whined when she couldn’t feel you, rubbing her eyes and sitting up. It was 1:30 in the morning, why weren’t you in bed? “I’m in the bathroom,” you said loud enough so she could hear you. You took a deep breath and just put some underwear and shorts on, waddling into the bedroom. “Why’d you let me fall asleep?” She asked and you sighed.

You rubbed your bump as you said “cause you need it, Robin…e-especially since my water just broke and we’re not gonna be getting a whole lot of sleep for the next few months…” “WHAT?!” Robin said and jumped out of bed, running to the nursery to grab the hospital bag, rambling so fast you literally couldn’t understand what she was saying.

Well, at least you were done leaking amniotic fluid and wouldn’t have to change again. You sighed and went to the bathroom, brushing your hair and teeth as Robin said something about the car and she’ll be right back

You grabbed yours and Robin's bags from the closet and set them on the couch because you were probably gonna bust your ass trying to see the stairs that you had to use to leave the apartment building under your bump, get through a contraction if need be, and carry both of these bags at the same time.

You heard Robin come back into the building, she nearly knocked the door off the hinges as she came back in, losing her shit and running to you as she found you squeezing the shit out of the couch with your face scrunched up in pain. “Fuck, sweetheart- what can I do?” She asked and you groaned softly.

You shook your head and took a few deep breaths, letting it pass. You finally opened your eyes and Robin was nearly crying, her hair was a mess and she looked so tired. She caressed your cheek and said “are you okay? Is the baby okay? How bad is it? Do you feel okay? Do you need to push?”

“Babe….I’m f-fine, everybody is fine, okay? It’s not the worst thing I’ve ever felt, at least not yet. I’m probably not gonna be pushing any time soon, don’t worry. Look, I’m gonna time the next one and then we’ll go to the hospital, alright?” You said and leaned back and laid on the back of the couch, rubbing your bump.

Robin sighed relievingly, sitting next to you. She rested her head on your lap, kissing your belly and caressing it softly. You groaned and said “I can't even see your face, my stomach is too big” “it won’t be pretty soon” she said, voice cracking as tears pricked her eyes.

You tried to reach over your bump and run your hands through her hair or something but you couldn’t reach. You huffed and grabbed her hand instead, trying to make her not cry. “We have plenty of time to have more kids, babe. Don’t worry” you said and she sighed shakily.

Sure enough, the next one came about 5 minutes later, you could practically hear Robin's thoughts going crazy but she was keeping her cool, just letting you squeeze her hand and do what you had to do. “Mmmh…Robin,” you moaned softly, a sudden new intensity of the pain coming on.

“What is it, sweetheart, what can I do?” She asked, carefully placing a hand on your bump, rubbing in gentle circles. You whimpered, nearly starting to cry. Once it passed, Robin held you for a few minutes, rubbing your belly and letting you relax.

She brought the other bags down to the car and then helped you to the elevator, letting you bury your head in her chest and take deep breaths, preparing for the next one. Any time you were in a more severe pain during the pregnancy you’d cling to Robin like this, and it always made her so happy that she got to be the person you need when you're in pain.

You had another contraction in the elevator so Robin scooped you up, trying not to move you too much as she got down the stairs at the front of the building and brought you to the car. She used to go to the gym for her mental health and to help her have something to do when her mind was going a little crazy and when you guys started talking about having kids and things like that she started getting into weight lifting just so she could do things like that. She never wanted you to be insecure about the weight you’d gained by growing a human being so she did what she had to do.

By the time she got you to the car it had just passed so you got in the car as quickly as possible to help you relax again. Robin made sure everything was in the car and then started the drive to the hospital. She noticed once she pulled in how shaky you were, which made her nervous.

She came around to your side of the car and grabbed your hand, kissing it softly. “Bubba, why are you so shaky, huh? Is there anything I can do to help?” She asked and you sighed. You’d had about 4 more contractions before you got to the hospital and the pain was already getting at you. You shook your head and said “no I just…I mean I’m exhausted, and- a-and the pain is worse than before and I’m also really freaking nervous,”

You chuckled and she smiled sadly. You sniffled, wiping a tear away. “It’s gonna be okay, honey. Everything's gonna be just fine, I promise. Nothing is gonna happen to you, and once we get inside we can talk to the doctor about an epidural and see how you-” she said before you stopped her.

“No- no, I don’t want all the crazy shit going into my body. Especially into my back of all places, what if there’s a fire and I can’t move my legs huh? I’d have contractions for a week straight before I got that stupid epidural” you said and she sighed.

She ran a hand over your bump and said “babe, I know you’re scared but you might not be able to handle it and so many women have successful labor and delivery stories even with the epidural….I’m sorry okay, I just- I hate this, and I hate you being in a pain and I really wish I could stop it, that’s all”

You then started crying, and Robin's eyes widened. How did she fuck up? Was she making you frustrated? She felt so stupid. “Honey, hey, hey don’t cry I’m sorry. Y/n, hey what’s making you cry?” She asked and you let out a sob.

You sniffled and said “I…I’m just being annoying w-when all you wanna do is h- h-help me, I’m being a fucking…just c-childish over a st-stupid needle and some drugs that’ll make this go w-way easier for me” “no, no honey. Baby, you’re scared, and that’s okay. It’s okay to be scared I just…I just wanted to ask you one last time that’s all. You’re not being annoying, I know why you’re scared and I get it, but I also know that I’ll sit with you for as long as I have to to help you get through this and I’ll do whatever it takes to help you bring our baby girl into this world, okay?” She said and you nodded.

She helped you out of the car and brought just your bag up for now since she knew it’d be a while before this baby got here and you didn’t need everything right this minute. She demanded they bring you a wheelchair so they did. Robin was being a little scary with the way she was talking to these nurses and doctors, but she wasn’t going to let you get mistreated in any way.

You got a room and Robin helped you change into a gown before nurses got all kinds of monitors on you and checked your vitals and the baby’s vitals and blah blah blah. You would’ve fallen asleep through it if you weren’t in all kinds of pain.

It was nearly 3am by the time you got settled, barely 3 centimeters dilated and hours of contractions to come. You were laying on your side now, Robin cuddled up with you per your request, both of you just listening to the baby’s heartbeat monitor. “Can't believe she’s really coming now…feels like I’ve been pregnant forever” you said and she chuckled.

She smiled and said “well at least you didn’t have to be induced,” You hummed, playing with her shirt as you took a deep breath, a bigger smile gracing your face as you felt her move a little. You looked up at Robin and said “hope she has your eyes. I love your eyes. They always look at me with so much love…and they’re so beautiful. It’s okay if she doesn’t…be really adorable if she did though”

“You just can’t get enough of me, you need two of me?” she said and you giggled. You kissed her softly and said “yea…just wanna meet her,” “I know, babe…me too” Robin said and cupped your cheek, caressing it softly.

You were mostly okay the first few hours but by the time you got to 5 centimeters you were struggling. Contractions were 4 minutes apart now and they were really strong, and your back and hips were hurting even more. God, and you were so drained and exhausted. You hadn’t slept in 2 days, you were in so much pain and you had already been in labor for 10 hours without a whole lot of progress.

You were starting to break, and you were contemplating getting the epidural. The pain was getting to be too much, and all you walked was a goddamn nap. You finally told Robin after debating it in your head for an hour, and she simply caressed your cheek and asked if you wanted her to ask for you.

Unfortunately, they ran some tests and determined it would be too dangerous for you to get the epidural and could cause complications. You broke into sobs, you really needed some kind of relief. Robin felt so shitty, she should’ve just sucked it up and been the one to carry the baby so this wouldn’t be happening to you.

She kissed your head and brought you closer, hugging you tight. “I-I can’t…Robin, I can’t do it a-anymore…it hurts” you whimpered, crying into her chest. She rubbed your back softly as she said “I’m so sorry, baby….I’m so fucking sorry”

You did everything you could after that, you walked around the hospital and around your room, you used the birthing ball, you tried every position in the world, you even tried getting in the stupid shower but none of it was helping as much as you wished. The baby kept trying to move and kick which was only causing you more pain.

Eventually you came back to the bed, tears streaming down your cheeks as another contraction tore through you. You yelled out slightly, twisting the bedsheets in your fists as you tried not to scream. You really couldn’t handle the pain, you nearly felt like you were gonna pass out.

“Baby, come on sit back and breathe” Robin sat behind you and you whimpered, groaning as it got worse. You tried to breathe through it but the more you tried to breathe the more you cried and you were having a hard time calming down. “Sweetheart,” Robin said quietly, tears forming in her eyes as you moaned through the pain.

As soon as the contraction ended you started feeling nauseous, and ended up throwing up everything in you. Robin was really starting to get worried, this couldn’t be good. You felt so dizzy after, you nearly passed out but you were using everything you had left in you to stay conscious.

You got more I.V’s and some nurses came in to help massage your back and find the perfect position to help with your pain, and help Robin understand what she can do to help. Sitting on the ground on your knees and leaning your upper body on the birthing ball really helped, and it gave Robin easy access to help support your bump a little and massage your back and hips.

23 god awful hours after your water broke you finally got the go ahead to push, and you quite honestly don’t know how you did it. It got so bad that any time you closed your eyes you would hear Robin scream your name in a panic because she thought you passed out. You were so shaky the whole goddamn time, you were so nervous and so overworked you really needed a damn break.

It took 20 minutes to get her out, and when you did you’d never felt so much relief in your life. Pushing that baby out was the most painful thing you’d ever done in your life, now sobbing into Robins arm as all kinds of pain ripped through you from between your legs, in your back, and the contractions that were supposed to help you push out the placenta.

You wanted to die when they asked you to deliver the placenta, your body was so drained and so tired you wanted to be done with the contractions and the pushing and all this bullshit. “Good job, momma! You barely even tore at all, just need to do a couple little stitches, you did such a good job” the doctor said and you whimpered.

Suddenly it hit you, holy shit you just had a baby. “Mmh- m-my baby- where’s my baby?” You asked frantically, you couldn’t hear her loud screams as she took her firsts breaths anymore and you were scared. “She’s okay, momma bear don’t you worry. We’re just checking on her and making sure she’s healthy that’s all” the pediatric nurse said and you let out a big sigh of relief, still trying to breathe right.

You groaned and said “I h-hate you” Robin’s eyes widened and her heart dropped a little, did you really mean that? “I’m fucking…g-getting stitches on my v-vagina right now…and I can’t breathe, a-and I’m panicking cause I- I can’t hear our baby c-crying even though I know s-she’s okay…and I’m so t-tired. I just want…I w-wanna sleep. But I’m never g-gonna sleep again. All because I-I love you too much s-so I stupidly agreed t-to have a beautiful little b-baby girl with you. So I h-hate you cause you m-made me love you and m-made me do stupid things b-because I love you” you said and she chuckled softly, there you were.

She kissed your head and gasped as they brought the baby over, a nurse helping you pull down your gown to do skin to skin. You thought she’d still had all that gunk on her but they had wiped it off mostly. They gently placed her on your chest, she was just still crying and whimpering and fussing a little but as soon as they placed her on your chest she was cooing and trying to muzzle into your neck.

You gasped, instantly beginning to cry again. You placed your hand on her little back, patting it on instinct and the other on her little head. God, she was tiny but she sure as hell felt huge coming out.

You swore she was gonna come out 20 pounds, there’s no way this tiny little ball of perfection was the thing you had given birth to.

Robin began to cry softly too, stroking your hair and watching you bond with the baby. “S-She’s perfect, y/n. I’m s-so proud of you, baby. I-I’m so goddamn proud. You did a-amazing, look what you made” Robin said softly and you both chuckled. You kissed her little head and smiled, you couldn’t believe you were actually holding your baby girl right now.

Robin had never felt so much love and appreciation for you in her life. You really had been so strong during all of this, even when you were breaking down in her arms wanting to quit and cut her out of you yourself, you kept going for her. Man, was it worth it.

“She knows her momma,” a nurse said softly as she kept cooing, grabbing onto your finger while she was all tucked underneath your chin. Robin wiped a tear off your face and said “can I please get a picture of this?”

You rolled your eyes and said okay, of course you wanted a picture of your first moments with your sweetgirl but you felt and probably looked like shit. You didn’t even care about the pain that you were still very much feeling anymore, you were just focused on the baby now.

“I’m so proud of you too, bubba, for coming out healthy…at least so far, and hopefully forever. You did an amazing job at kicking my ass these last 10 freaking months, I’m so proud of you” you said and everyone laughed. Robin took a few pictures of you and then you let Robin hold her, god you couldn’t stop smiling.

You’d go through all the pain again 1,000 times over just to see Robin's face right now all over again. She was so fucking happy, caressing Jadyn’s cheek and holding her little tiny body in one freaking arm. You grabbed the Polaroid camera and took a picture, and then took a few on your phone.

“She’s beautiful, babe. You did such a good job. Didn’t she, bubba? Didn’t mommy do an amazing job making this cute little face and pushing out this little body and these tiny little hands, and these tiny little feets?” Robin said, it melted your heart to see her talking to the baby already, she was such a natural with her.

Jadyn reached up to try and grab her face, cooing up a storm. Robin smiled and let her do what she wanted, grabbing Robin’s chin lightly and then her lip, patting her cheek a few times. You chuckled and said “sweetgirl, what are you doing to mom?”

“She’s just exploring, that’s all. She’s brand new, babe- oh…hey, she has my eyes” Robin said as she finally opened her eyes wide enough to tell. You smiled and said “really?” “Yea, look,” Robin bent down slightly so you could see and you smiled even more, booping her nose.

A few minutes later they took Jadyn for testing and cleaned you up, putting the massive freaking diaper looking thing on you and helping you get your achy legs out of the stirrups. Holy hell were you sore, you can’t believe it hurt so freaking bad when all it was was that 7 pound 2 ounce little baby. She wasn’t even big, you don’t think you would’ve been able to do it if she was a bigger baby.

You were barely awake now, your eyes unable to open and you only able to see a blur of Robin as you were finally settled, everything was over now and you were only feeling the after pains which weren’t nearly as bad as the contractions. “Babe, come on get some sleep” Robin said and you shook your head.

“The baby…” you whimpered and she sighed. She tucked your hair behind your ear and said “she’s okay…she’s getting her tests done, making sure she really is a perfect and amazing little girl. She’ll be gone for a while, why don’t you sleep?” “I just….” You said and closed your eyes, your grip loosened on her hand and your whole body visibly relaxing.

She smiled and kissed your head, watching you sleep for a while. She really was so fucking proud of you. You’d been up for literally almost 2 and a half days, had been going through all kinds of unbearable pain for 2 days straight on top of all the pain you’d been feeling for 10 exhausting months to have a baby all because she said she wanted one.

She didn’t say she needed one, she didn’t force you to, she didn’t say you had to have her baby. She simply said she wanted one and you barely thought twice before you said yes, and you’d do it as many times as Robin wanted. She was so grateful for you, and to have a partner as loving, supportive, and caring as you are.

Not to mention, you had never ever looked so beautiful in her eyes. You would beg to disagree, dark ass eye bags making you practically look like you have black eyes and greasy hair and flushed cheeks and red rimmed eyes not having you feeling like a supermodel.

She felt so bad when you were only able to get a little over an hour of sleep, because the baby was fussing and the nurses chopped it up to her being hungry and came back so you could breastfeed her. Robin wished she could’ve done it for you, but you were so happy to hold her again, you didn’t care how tired you were.

Robin smiled as she watched you and Jadyn, it seemed like you already knew what to do as the nurse helped you get her to latch for the first time, it only took two tries before she was suckling away for milk. You’d been sort of pumping the last couple days, your boobs so sore and swollen you needed some relief so your milk had pretty much come in already.

You caressed her tiny cheek and as her big, curious eyes stared up at you. “Hi, beautiful…mommy’s precious girl” you whispered, smiling softly. Robin kissed your head and took some pictures, obviously at an angle that didn’t show your boob too much and had it mostly covered by her head.

“So proud of you, baby. Doing so good for mommy” you said and she cooed, wiggling around a little. You let her squeeze your finger, she cooed softly as she started really getting milk. “Poor girl, you must be hungry. Gotta fill this belly up, huh?” You said and poked her tiny tummy as soft as humanly possible.

Robin kissed your head and said “you are so incredible, y/n. Thank you…for everything. Especially our little bundle of perfection. You’re seriously so strong, babe, I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to do this” “one of the perks of me doing it first, I’ll probably know how to make things easiest for you if we getting around to having you carry our 2nd baby” you said and she sighed happily, resting her head on top of yours.

“My precious girls…” she whispered softly, wiping away a bit of milk that had leaked from Jadyn’s mouth. You smiled and said “she must be really hungry,” “hey, if I could suck on your boobs right now I’d never stop either” she said and you gasped, looking up at her.

She chuckled and you blushed slightly, looking down at Jadyn again. “Little ears, Robin…god,” you said and Robin laughed a little, running a finger over the little head of hair she had.

“I can’t believe she’s really here. She’s actually real, you know? I mean- I- I know I’ve felt her move and I’ve felt her hands and her head and her feet against my stomach for over half my pregnancy but…I don’t know a part of me always wondered how I could actually just create a human out of a tiny little egg and tiny little sperm and just some empty pouch I have inside me. But now she’s here, and she’s- I mean she’s like…real. She has a brain, and lungs and her own little organs and her own little heart, and all that stuff. I made her. I…I literally made her” you said and Robin chuckled softly.

Robin caressed her cheek and said “I know baby…it is pretty crazy. You did one hell of a job, our baby girl is perfect” You smiled, looking up to kiss her. Jadyn started getting sleepy and pretty much stopped suckling so you gently unlatched her and you let Robin burp her.

“Oh, hi bubba” she said as she gently lifted her out of your arms so you could put your bra back on. She put the burp cloth over her shoulder and rested her in the same spot, patting her back softly. You smiled and grabbed your phone taking a video.

Robin hadn’t realized you were recording, she was too busy kissing Jadyns head and trying to keep her smile from reaching her ears. Jadyn cooed and grabbed Robin's shirt, making her tear up a little. “Hey, hey why are you crying?” You said, forgetting you were still recording.

“Cause I…c-cause we have a baby together” she said and Jadyn cooed. You smiled and said “overwhelming, huh?” Robin nodded and kissed her head again, whimpering softly.

Once she was done Robin laid her little body across her arm and chest so she could watch her, and eventually she fell asleep in her arms. Robin sat next to you and you took a picture of them, little Jadyn all snuggled into Robin as she slept peacefully.

Robin placed her in the hospital bassinet a few minutes later so she could get proper rest and sat next to you again. She cupped your cheek and said “I love you so, so so much. I’m so lucky to call you my wife. What you did was…amazing, sweetheart. I can't tell you enough, I can’t express how proud I am of you”

“I love you too…and I know you are, baby. I’d do it a million times over just to make you happy again” you said and she kissed you softly. You smiled through it and pulled away a few moments later, smiling up at her. You blushed and she opened her arms for you to cuddle into, and you got some more sleep before Jadyn inevitably woke up again.

You didn’t tell the group that she had arrived until you got home two days later, the doctors were just taking precautions and had you stay 48 hours due to your pregnancy and labor and birth being so hard on your body. You were overwhelmingly sore, especially down there but your whole body as well, from being so tense and all that pregnancy pain hadn’t gone away just yet. You couldn’t get enough sleep to recover from it all because of the new baby, even though she was actually a pretty good and quiet baby, taking care of her was still a lot of work.

Plus, Jadyn was brand new and you wanted time for you and Robin to bond with her by yourself so they wouldn’t be allowed to come over for 2 weeks, but you sent them pictures every day and FaceTimed them when you could.

Robin was overjoyed to have everyone meet Jadyn, she was so happy to be a mom and she just kept showing her off like her most prized possession. Max was in shock when you said you’d been in labor for 2 and a half days, she immediately declared she was never having kids.

You couldn’t help the smile on your face as you watched Robin show her off to Steve. You loved her and Steve’s sibling like relationship, and she was so freaking excited to show Steve what you had done for her. “And y/n did such a good job getting her out…didn’t she? Didn’t mommy do so well?” she said, kissing Jadyn’s cheek.

Robin had so much energy, even though you both were getting the same amount of sleep she was bouncing off the walls while you were ready for another nap.

Nancy came over and you compared birth stories parts of your pregnancies, and she even brought over some of James’s old stuff and most of it was gender neutral anyways but neither of you would have cared if it was blue. Unsurprisingly, Jadyn eventually wanted to nurse after a while so you went to the nursery to feed her whilst you heard Robin going on and on about how perfect Jadyn was and how incredible you were doing.

God, you fucking loved her.

There was somebody who commented on my post about this story and if you comment I automatically assume you are like super excited about it so, @averagestudent03 here you go

Taglist: @amberputh

As of now l'm writing for

Eddie Munson

Joseph Quinn

Jamie Bower

Steve Harrington

Robin Buckley

Eddissy

Maya Hawke

So just comment the taglist you want to be added to and l'll add you :)

#stranger things #robin buckley #robin buckley fanfiction #robin buckley x y/n #robin buckley oneshot #robin buckley x reader #mom!robin buckley #modern!robin buckley #robin buckley x pregnant!reader #mom!robin buckley x pregnant!reader

[a-d-nox]

web of wyrd: the sacral chakra

the numbers we are focusing on today are based on the orange bubbled numbers in the web then the sum of the two equal your emotional number - ex: as you see above and in previous charts, my energetic number is 9 and my physical number 8. so to get the emotional number i have to sum the two: 9 + 8 → 17. recall that numbers must be summed a second time if they total 23 (i.e. 2 + 3 → 5) and above.

but what does this number mean?

the next chakra set we are examining is the sacral chakra (svadhisthana); it signifies our creativity, sexuality, desires, and emotional stability. bodily it governs our uterus, ovaries, kidneys, small intestines, prostate gland, lumbar, bladder, and circulatory system.

so let's talk about some examples:

8 - strength

a physical 8s... the thing about 8s in the health card is that there tends to be both strength and weakness associated. they could experience weakness in any of the body parts mentioned above. they will remain weak in those areas if they do not trust that they can feel better - they also have to feel comfortable enough with vulnerability to get help from a health care professional. they have the ability to nurture others and help them, but they have to learn to care for themselves first and foremost. physical svadhisthana 8s should go to visit their gynecologist annually at the very minimum. they should consider a juice cleanse, increasing exercise to better their blood flow, get a massage, etc. they need to take care of both the external and internal because while they might be healthy looking externally, they may be neglecting something internally. strength's belt of flowers sort of blocks the sacral chakra, but we shouldn't forget the belt is made with flowers; all they have to do is nurture this chakra and it will blossom.

energetic 8 svadhisthana people are often very emotionally stable. in situations when others panic, they tend to be more relaxed and disconcerted - the giantess in the strength card is gently closing the mouth of the lion, her face is relaxed and she seems to be looking into the creature's eyes (brave and resolved). these people tend to do things that no one else would think of doing in the creative realm because they always aim to be unpredictable when facing a challenge - they are like the underdogs of the realm. they recognize the fears of others (and even themselves), and they do it anyway especially when it is something they want or it is something they must accomplish first before they can get closer to what they desire.

emotionally 8 svadhisthana people might struggle... often these people lack self-confidence - they might not feel comfortable in sexual situations, they often need a very supportive partner to coax them into feeling comfortable. they might also lack-confidence in the creative realm - while they can be an incredible writer, painter, dancer, actor-actress, etc., they could feel uncomfortable with the spotlight or showing others what they can do. they could also not trust their desires and repress them - they are people pleasers at heart; they wish to appease those around them. they are the type that will disregard their dreams to do what their parents/friends/partners want them to do. all this boils down to one thing - they have to learn how to be emotionally vulnerable with others and learn to be courageous when stating what they want from those around them. life is full of challenges - they have to trust that they are capable of standing up for themselves: they are good enough, they are beautiful, they are worthy, and they can accomplish their dreams.

9 - the hermit

physical svadhisthana 9s tend to have health issues with these part of their bodies... some have fertility issues, kidney disease, prostate issues, bladder issues, and/or blood diseases / genetic mutations. they often prefer solitude and aren't very physically inclined to having sexual escapades... they are very much the type to go hiking and camping alone - they enjoy the great outdoors when it comes to exercise (uncle hdt, is that you?). just by getting out in nature and going for a walk they can vastly improve their blood flow and stay healthier.

energetic 9 svadhisthana people work best alone; they likely have a lot of hobbies they do alone - reading, writing, crochet, knitting, etc. their creative abilities are something they learn in solitude; they tend to be self taught, and they likely are not a fan of taught creativity - they don't believe that creative thinking is something that is learned, but rather it is explored over time. when they are alone, they often find themselves exploring the creative realm. they often desire being in solitude from the world around them - they likely feel reenergized after a solo sojourn.

emotionally 9 svadhisthana people often dread being alone or isolated from others. they often feel as though they may never find their person in this lifetime. though it sounds contradictory, 9 people often desire independence and to be alone when working on creative projects, towards their desires, and even when working on their emotional stability (they are the least likely individuals to go to a talk therapist by choice, though many struggle with depression / depressive thoughts). being alone does often work wonders for their creativity though - a lot of these energy placements write because they can imagine a whole universe in their mind. though isolation feels good to them, they do need to communicate to their partner about doing so, so they don't push them away unnecessarily.

17 - the star

physical svadhisthana 17s tend to appear sickly to others at some point in their life, and it often has to do with the area the chakra governs. but they aren't quitters, more often than not, they will push to find a solution/cure for what slows them down, so that they can get back out there. their struggles might inspire them to go into a medical career after they themselves are cured.

energetic 17 svadhisthana people tend to go through a lot of tough things in their life - pain, trauma, illness, etc. yet they have this power to outshine the darkness. they have this energy that makes them seem radiant to everyone around them - this is especially true in the creative realm (everyone can find themselves easily drawn to a 17 svadhisthana person) - it is their hope and faith that tends to inspire others. they can make it through anything, and they help to inspire and motivate others to believe the same of themselves.

emotionally 17 svadhisthana... this is another individual who might find themselves slipping into a depression or depressive episodes throughout their life - they need to recall the popular quote "without darkness, we wouldn't be able to see the stars". they are star emotional people! though everything seems dark, hopeless, and horrible that's not a fact that is a perception - even small glimmers of goodness exist in everything around them; they just have to look for them. have some faith and everything will be just fine. these people are dreamers - no doubt about it - so dream! imagine! inspire! let the big emotions you have guide you to create something that might just help people in a similar situation to you.

like what you read? leave a tip and state what post it is for! please use my "suggest a post topic." button if you want to see a specific pac/pile next. if you'd like my input on how i read a specific card or what i like to ask my deck, feel free to use the ask button for that as well.

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