#never thought i'd be examining it this closely tbh

[shirogane-oushirou]

8,6,7,5,3, and 9 for whichever f/o you're feeling right now! (for the spicy asks)

i forgot i had that ask game in my queue. screaming crying sobbing. i don't know why this is making me nervous, i'm CONSTANTLY in nsft post tags blabbering on about how i want to give my otter man a brain-melting orgasm to cure him of his Conditions... ;;;

answering these for ren bc he's the one i'm most... in tune with? i COULD answer some spicy asks about some of the others (mars is a good runner-up), but i've never put as much thought into this side of a relationship as i have with ren. SO!!!

whether i ramble on with details nobody needs to know or i just give a-few-words-long answers is up to fate. 🙏🏻 (edit post-writing: ......you wanna guess which option fate went with? 😩 i'm so sorry in advance kjNKJN)

3: Is the sex between you and your f/o usually sensual? Passionate? Animalistic?

more sensual and passionate, if i have to pick among those options.

r!ren's much more passionate from the start, since he isn't forcing himself to play a role and can just be open with his affections. he's the kind of guy to quickly go from a light kiss while we watch something to Full Throttle if he's given the OK kjndfkjn.

doc!ren starts out playful and sensual, and he has more control wrt things like light affection staying light, but as things heat up the mask starts to slip and the passion comes out in him as well.

but, with both rens, we're also very silly. like, he's intentionally being a goof the entire time (see: that one post about an f/o saying "shoot your goo!" when you're about to cum), and if his hands get shaky while he's trying to put on a condom, that isn't gonna ruin the mood... if anything i'd be like, "oh no, he's failing to put the condom on... oooh he's struggling so hard... 💕" and then offer to help with my own shaky hands kjsndkjn. like this is us when something silly happens or we have trouble with something stupid:

5: Do you and your f/o prefer having sex in the dark or with the lights open?

lights on! he wants to be able to see everything... not only in the "i love your body" sense (which is also true), but in the "i want to see every facial reaction so i can figure out what works for you and what doesn't" sense.... whether he's doc!ren or r!ren, he has a mind for study, close examination, and analysis.

and -i- want to see his every reaction bc he's handsome and cute and veeery expressive :3 i wanna see him Fucking Lose It in full hd quality.

6: What was the most embarrassing thing to happen between you and your f/o before, during, and/or after sex?

i can't think of anything in particular that's truly embarrassing tbh. i think there are also things that both of us could feel embarrassed about individually that the other would find endearing, but i don't really count that... :/

idk, it just isn't something i've put much thought into in spite of the fact that something would inevitably happen at some point!

7: Any favourite positions?

nothing too creative! we both enjoy missionary, cowgirl, pretzel dip, and reverse spooning, and he in particular loves giving and receiving oral so face sitting + kneeling at the edge of the bed... really anything that's face-to-face and as close as possible.

and if i'm not up for anything on my end, i'm usually more than happy for us to sit or lie next to each other while i help get him off (often a good chance for some fun power play, teasing, etc) or give him JOI if i'm not up for anything physical at all (ALSO a good chance for power play and teasing lol). he understands that we have VASTLY different "batteries", so even if i'm just sitting next to him while he takes care of things himself, to him that just means we're sitting close and spending time together, yippee~!!

8: Any favourite places (ex. bedroom, kitchen, on a desk, against the wall  etc)?

honestly, if it were up to him, i think he'd be up for just about anywhere, and in my wildest dreams i'd also be up for more creative use of space... but because of my pain and health issues, the best places are the bed and sofa ;;; kissing elsewhere for a bit would be okay, but once things really start to get going we need to get somewhere soft and cushioned lmao.

9: Any kinks and/or fetishes?

OKAYYYY. the Big Question. so. i imagine us, when we start discussing the possibility of sex, sharing our most searched "tags" as a starting point to see what we have in common, figure out if one of us is squicked by one of the other's kinks and need to avoid it, etc. the most relevant kinks are:

femdom (no shit lol, we VERY quickly figure out we're a perfectly matched sub top and dom bottom/service dom)

light bondage (nothing too intense, just a "hands tied to the bedposts, blindfold over the eyes" every now and again kind of deal)

edging (gotta make my boy sooooo desperate~)

body worship (self explanatory)

scent (i can't decide if ren's like... a scent guy or a MY PERSON'S SCENT guy... but he loves to bury his head in my hair and neck, especially if we're doing our ro's-battery-is-empty sessions and he just wants to lean into me.)

sound (to complement his scent Thing i guess ksjdkjn voices are a huge things for me, and i think moaning is super cute, and uh. welp...!! he's good at it!!)

i'm not gonna lie, i think it'd be hot as fuck to fuck doc!ren in gloves and his labcoat KJNJLJNKSJM i have a thing for hands and labcoats so the double whammy would knock me out cold.

aaand i simply enjoy seeing my lovely boyfriend blissed the fuck out ^^ my cocktail of being ace, what i can feel, how often i feel it, etc. is a little fucked, but even when everything is at its lowest possible levels, i'd still get some indescribable Thing out of helping push ren to his limits, watching him completely lose it, and enjoying as he comes down from the high. it'd make me feel good to see him feel good, even if the source of that good feeling is different for both of us. 💕

#so wild to just. talk about this shit openly. haven't done that since college KJNKJFN. #📌 [ my posts. ] #[ nsft. ] #[ nsft ds. ] #🍄 [ lying on the blade of an emotion. ] #🦦 [ can't escape it. ] #✨ [ oc lore. ] #[ need to draw. ] #[ asks. ] #🧃 [ who is in control. ] #anonymous #🐸 [ look ahead. ]

[callimara]

Doesn't really count as "anime" persay but it's the closest I could get for a place to talk about this.

Yandere simulator, OH BOY XD

Out of all the problems from the game, one stuck out to me.

In the game , ayani aishi, the mc, is a blank slate, shes a "normal" person.

When you go to the principals office, which is more or less optional depending on some things you can get from inside, the principal will be shocked, startled and in realisation that she is not her mother from the 80s who originally killed a girl and was never caught. If you walk closer to him, he will exclaim pulling out a tazer, " ill tolerate you in my school but not in my office, your up to no good, I just know it, leave at once", and if you ge to close, he will taze you, even from the front door with a knife in your hand, how the hell does a tazer have that kind of reach idk but still, also the student council and it's leader is extremely untrusting of ayano and the leader, megami through a video call to a empty room, calls ayana a thing and says she knows what she is and her father is aware, the father is the schools owner btw. And the council , hmmms, whenever ayano runs past them or even goes faster than a regular walk.

But my problem is.

Isn't it the principals choice to let students enrolle, nevermind a prestigious one like in game, and wouldn't he of noticed and banished her.

2nd, both the student council and principal are projecting her mother onto her daughter were at the start of the game and depending on the ruite you take has and will not do anything immoral or kill anoyone.

It's just simply so extreamly rude.

And maybe they think the mother definitely had a hand in the murder in the 80s, they have no proof, all be it, minor proof, the mother, ryoba aishi, was never caught and lives happily with her senpai. So they aren't just accusing ayano of deeds she's never done, they are accusing her of a act that they can't be certain ryioba actually did , and I don't think ayano even knows her mother killed a girl, ryioba wouldnt really have a reason to tell her, and really why send your daughter to the same school they thinks of you as literally Satan himself, doesn't the parent and maybe child need to have a audience with the principal before deciding in anything? With how quick he recognized her , I would assume I would never let another aishi in the school again, and the principal recognizes her as ryiobas daughter, but he said," gasp, it . It's YOU, no wait, that would be impossible, you must be her daughter", you must be? How are you unsure of this? Shouldnt you know from the entitlement process and babk statements and idk, speeking with ryioba her self in first meetings? And what if she isn't actually HER daughter, she coould be someone who looks similar,

Why is this school incompetent, like straight up.

They are being purposelt rude to a student who has done literally NOTHING. Like I'd quite that school immediately or prove all of them asses wrong by not doing as they expect

I don't think much thought was put into Yansim tbh. I see it as a small, simple product that outgrew its scope and now the dev is making things up as he goes along. The issue is that instead of focusing on the foundation and making sure it's solid, he keeps expanding outward on a poorly constructed one. So it's not really surprising if the cracks start to show on closer examination.

#ask callimara

[kyogre-blue]

Hmmm....I'll try to pen down my train of thought, lmk if it doesn't make sense:

I guess I just don't see how Ei could have made that pointed 'those who have lost their lives are those who insisted in pursuing their ambitions' if she didn't know that people HAVE lost their lives like that (it's Oddly Specific, when the Traveler has been INCREDIBLY vague when telling her how the vision hunt Actually Affected People) and the only examples we know of are 1. Tomo 2. Teppei and maybeee some of the "not so fortunate" Delusion bearers in the resistance (can't really tell if that was Kokomi's tactful way of saying "they died" or the weird "This Is War But Nobody Dies!" Filter)

The resistance which, canonically, includes people who lost their visions and still chose to fight, and if that doesn't sound like the textbook definition of what Ei is describing... (plus the Traveler immediately goes 'Teppei' as a repsonse, so you are indeed meant to think about the resistance here)

Then Ei, on the heels of that convo, brings up that she knows what the Fatui are up to—which, given that if you choose to tell her that "the Fatui have deceived the Raiden Shogun" she IMMEDIATELY goes "pfft you small-minded mortal fool, I know more than you about the actions they take" with no confusion or follow-up questions, I thought that meant she did know about the Delusions—that, following her explanation, she doesn't purge them because they're only distributing to those who would grab for that power in order to pursue their ambitions.

I think it's the change in tense that bugs me—switching between "nobody will lose their life" and "those who have died" instead of an easy, flat "nobody has died" strikes me as odd. It makes me think that this is Ei saying "Okay, so people have died, but as soon as they stop this silly fighting and roll over quietly they won't die anymore" (victim blaming, ahoy!)

.........laying it out like that makes me realise that this can all be explained by 1. genshin writers not knowing that in a conversation there's never an unnanounced switch to an unrelated topic, because otherwise a topic only gets brought up if it's related to the current one even if only tangentially. And 2. Genshin writers forgetting to write from the character's limited perspective instead of their own, which is very likely given they have a horrible track record keeping track of what characters should or shouldn't know (see the Traveler, life-sucking delusions, character stories, what books are public knowledge, the knights of favonius somehow not recognising dvalin despite having lisa AND albedo AND a close working relationship with the church, AND Dvalin being able to speak for himself)

Well, it was a cool house of cards I had built up from an in-universe perspective, I'd like to think...

tbh I'm not terribly interested in interrogating the details here because 1) it's badly written no matter what, 2) I genuinely do not care.

Inazuma never really managed to get me emotionally engaged for a variety of reasons, but it completely lost my interest once we hit Act 3. I didn't care about Teppei, I can't stand Yae, Kazuha's big moment was a joke, Signora was a mess of disappointment, and the entire shogun business was incredibly limp-wristed at best.

One thing I will say is to caution against getting too caught up in examining the small details of the dialogue. It's tempting to do so, but that's a quick way to get stuck on a headcanon that is not actually real.

The EN translation of Genshin is not awful but it's not great either. The details might just be wrong. They got Kusanali's gender wrong initially, remember that? They translated the first half dozen references to "the Heavenly Principles" in a half dozen different ways before they gave in and started just directly calling them that. They translated a reference to the Abyss Order's homeland (Khaenri'ah) as the sibling's homeland.

Not to mention that Genshin's writing is not particularly clear in general. People were thinking that Zhongli created Azhdaha's body when he only gave him sight. And remember Albedo's entire convoluted dialogue in the second Dragonspine event? The one we still don't really know what it meant?

It's fun to speculate, but just keep this in mind.

#playing genshin

[fictionadventurer]

Hello! So I remember a while back you recommended Regina Doman's Fairy Tale novels, which made me decide to pick up the first three. I've loved them and I'm thinking about picking up the last three, but I have a bit of a concern. I've seen some reviews for Rapunzel Let Down that imply there's a descriptive sex scene in it? Which would surprise me, but I'm very cautious about anything that has even sensual scenes, so I wanted to ask you whether that's true or not. Thank you for your time.

The original Grimm's version of "Rapunzel" involves the prince impregnating Rapunzel with twins, and Rapunzel Let Down builds off of that version to craft a story about the broken relationships between men and women--how they can hurt each other, how they can find healing, and how to contrast objectifying lust with true sacrificial love. To serve that end, this book does have two sex scenes. I wouldn't necessarily call them descriptive, and the point of them is to serve the wider themes of the book, not to titillate the reader. I personally find them, for the most part, less descriptive than the kissing scenes in a lot of sex-scene-free YA books and "clean" romances--but the scenes are there. There's a reason that Doman classifies this as an adult book. Even beyond the sex scenes, she explores some very difficult topics and serious sins much more directly than she does in the other books in the series. The book's never voyeuristic, but it's not flinching away from reality, and it assumes a greater level of maturity in the reader.

I think the scenes are something that someone who expects "clean Christian homeschooler" fiction might be uncomfortable with (I think I skimmed over them the last time I read), but looking at them more closely now, they're very tame by modern literary standards. It really depends on the reader and the level of imagination they apply to the scene.

They're I'll go into a bit more (possibly spoilery) level of detail about the sex scenes below the cut (trying not to get *too* descriptive, in case you'd be uncomfortable) so you could decide if this is something you can live with in a book. (If you don't want to read any description and just want to skip, the scenes are in Chapters 11 and 16--pages 92-95 and 136-137 in my copy.)

The first scene scene is the more descriptive of the two. It starts in Chapter 11--in my copy, pages 92-95. (That includes the entire romantic scene surrounding the sexual encounter.) It starts with Hermes kissing Raphaela repeatedly, but with little description. There are mentions of touching stomach skin and undoing clothes, and mentions of the "passion" and "arousal". The act itself is described in very vague terms, focusing on "passion" and "love" rather than any concrete details. Afterward, they lay together, and there are a few adjectives that give concrete details of what it feels like. It's about as close to fade-to-black as you can get without actually cutting away from the scene, but there are a few details.

The second scene is in Chapter 16--pages 136-137 in my book. Hermes helps Raphaela into a bathtub with innocent intentions (she's sick and needs help). He then gets aroused, slides in next to her, (both partially clothed), and begins kissing her. He then goes further and realizes that she's not enjoying it. It doesn't get much more descriptive than that in the actual scene, but this is the scene that the rest of the plot revolves around. Hermes get arrested for statutory rape, and their legal teams repeatedly ask them about the moment as they gather evidence for the trial. However, they're looking for legal evidence, so the descriptions stay on that level--they're certainly not asking for the steamy erotic-novel details.

#answered asks #regina doman #the fairy tale novels #rapunzel let down #i hope this helps #never thought i'd be examining it this closely tbh #i think the key thing is that these aren't embarrassing #i tried to read a 'clean' romance a while back #and there was a mere kissing scene that i stopped reading because it was going into detail that i was uncomfortable with #because it's clearly trying to appeal to the reader #rapunzel let down has the actual sex scenes but they're less uncomfortable because you know they're there for the reason #they exist for the good of the work not the arousal of the reader

[wri0thesley]

omg wait no hold on I just requested overhaul but then I remembered your overhaul thirst post about him pulling a "curing hysteria~" as an excuse and thought I'd request something along that vibe (no oun intended). I think that'd fall under orgasm control, overstim? (hope this is okay!)

hysteria antidote - overhaul x fem!reader (4k)

seeing nothing but the same four walls every day of your life is playing havoc with your brain. overhaul thinks perhaps you're suffering from hysteria. he has the perfect cure for that.

cw: not sfw/minors dni. dark content!!! dubious/non-consent. captive reader. talk of death, blood, etc. medical kink, gloves, fingering, overstimulation, orgasm control. misogyny. mentions of pregnancy/breeding. afab reader, fem pronouns.

[a/n: idk the internet said the 28th of may was his birthday so consider this both a birthday fic and a fic to celebrate 6k followers, sorry that i am gross and horrible but tbh im having a great time <3]

You really don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to be going out of your mind.

Since the Boss was taken ill, and Kai – Overhaul, you remind yourself, though he’s always just a little less sharp with you when you trip over the new name than he is with anyone else – took over leadership of the Shie Hassaikai, you’ve been pretty much stuck indoors.

Considering that you’re pretty sure he only has fond feelings towards maybe three people in the entire world, including you, you guess you ought to feel special about it – but all it actually does is make you feel like a trapped bird, caged and restless. It doesn’t help that all of the other members of the organisation have started being weird around you; people who you’ve known most of your adult life, people who you’ve worked beside and killed beside and done other horrible things beside (for the good of the organisation, of course)--

But now, they look at you like you might break at any moment. They treat you like an invalid. Their brows crease when they see you out and about, quietly murmuring; “Shouldn’t you still be in your room?”, avoiding touching you at all costs. There’s a kind of fear in their eyes, that they’re going to be told off for even speaking to you, that they’re afraid of being caught close to you.

And you know exactly who’s to blame for that.

You’d tried to speak to him about it, once; you’d thought that perhaps he might be amenable to your desire to do something to help the Shie Hassaikai. He’s always wanted to restore them to their former glory, after all! But after you’d let out your little impassioned tirade, his eyebrows had creased over the bird-mask.

“You don’t sound well,” he’d said to you. “Go back to your room. I’ll talk to you about it later.”

You had missed, at the time, that he hadn’t said ‘we’ll talk about it later’. He’d just said ‘I’ll’. When he had come, that is how it had been; the reassurance that he was keeping you safe. That he didn’t want you to be tainted. That he was keeping you well.

Your quirklessness has never been an issue before, but it certainly hasn’t been a boon. Still, for Kai--

“It’s disgusting,” he’d said, agitated by the discussion. You’d stared at his hands, thinking about the destructive power he himself wielded. “Quirks are a curse, and you not having one is just proof you’re not infected.” He’d looked up, golden eyes piercing directly into yours. “I’m going to keep you perfect.”

Overhaul is not a doctor, for all of his talk about illness and disease and plague. You think he could have used his quirk for something meaningful, once; but you also know that his burning curiousity, his disgust of anyone who deems tainted, his utter lack of morality . . . those are all things that would not have been welcomed in the medical profession. So instead, he deals in needles and pills and altering drugs in the underground labyrinth of the compound.

Sterile rooms, with examination tables and scalpels and impersonal, silver-grey equipment. Pill boxes that rattle when he passes them to you and tells you to take three of those a day, one of those, that one has to be taken to with food--

The idea that you won’t take them doesn’t enter his head, and though he has never . . . overhauled someone in front of you, you have walked past other members of the organisation mopping and disinfecting blood and gristle from sterile flooring.

It is better to go along with him, so you take the supplements and the pills and submit to the way he grabs your chin in gloved hands on the doctor’s chair, tipping your face up to shine a light into your eyes and watch your pupils dilate. But inside, you are screaming.

You’re not made to be locked in one room, occasionally allowed out to pace the hallways of the upstairs – never the underground ones, not any more – with restless footsteps and your muscles fizzing with desire to taste fresh air. You’re not made to stare at the same walls and breathe the purified air and think about how empty the compound is, now that Overhaul is in charge of everything--

(Too many knick-knacks attract dust. Pollen allergies act up, if there are too many plants, and he hates hearing people sneeze. Furniture should be easily movable and barren, to assist in the twice-daily cleanings of every room that people walk through.)

But it’s getting too much for you. Suffocating. You feel like you’re choking on air all of the time; you take the pills, because the thought of what he could do to you is terrifying, but sometimes you wonder if perhaps it would be better if you didn’t.

You’d woken up that morning to the sound of rain hitting the high windows in your bedroom, and you had longed to go outside in your thin nightwear and spread your arms and taste the air, smell the rain, feel it hit your body in fat droplets. Your entire being had ached. You’d tried to distract yourself, with what little there was in the barren prison cell that you called a bedroom – but when the door opened at four thirty exactly, and Kai had stood there with his face as impassive as ever, you had not been able to stop yourself.

Hand fastening around his upper arm (you shouldn’t touch him, you know you shouldn’t, but the same four walls are getting to you), you’d begged him;

“I want to go outside.”

If anyone else had touched him like that, they would already be splattered against the walls and floor. But all you get is a furrow of his eyebrows, careful fingers (gloved, of course; the latex against your skin always makes you shudder) pinching at your hand to get you to let go of him.

“No,” he says. “You’ll catch a cold.”

“I don’t care,” you’re petulant, you know, frustration bubbling up in every cell of your body. “If I stay in here for one more day, I will tear myself into pieces.”

“You’re being over-dramatic.”

“Kai—”

“Don’t call me that.” His rebuttal is sharp. “You know I’m doing this for your own good.”

Your face twists into something ugly. Overhaul hates it when you do that; hates the way your brow wrinkles, your mouth moves, your normally lovely face (one of very few he can bear to look at unmasked and not feel as though he is going to get sick from merely breathing the same air of you) marred.

“You’re not,” you hiss at him. “You’re doing this because you’re fucked up! Because you’ve got some weird fucking ideas about what’s clean and what’s unclean, because you’re on a power trip, because you don’t care about other people--” Your voice is pitching and modulating, all of the things that you usually try and keep balled up inside of you spilling out that the floodgates of how unhappy you are is open.

You’re breathing heavy as Overhaul, clearly irked by what you’re saying, tugs at the wrist of one of his surgical gloves. If he’s going to kill you, good – at least it will be better than this, you think, your breath coming in short sharp pants after the outburst.

He lets go. His hands fall to his sides. His golden gaze on you is very level.

“You’re hysterical,” he tells you. An exasperated laugh falls from your mouth.

“Yeah?” You ask him. “Of course I am. Do you know the last time I breathed fresh air?”

“Seven months, two weeks, three days.” He says it without blinking. Your shoulders tense. Has it really been that long? “You haven’t been ill once in that time. The world out there is filthy.”

“It’s normal to get sick,” you try and tell him, but Overhaul is moving forward; past the doorway, and into your room. The door clicks shut behind him, the sound of a lock ominous. You don’t think you’ve ever been alone with Kai in your bedroom.

In the medical examination rooms, sure. In his office. In common areas, back when he was just the boss’ troubled protege and not the boss himself--

His eyebrows twitch in disgust as he notices the dust on your bookshelves. You’d stopped letting any of the cleaners in here a month ago; you’d refused to clean in the mean time, taking whatever small victory against your captor that you could.

“You’ll give yourself respiratory issues,” he says.

“Good,” your voice is cold, but you realise you’ve backed away from him. For all of your attempts to stand up to him, you’re terrified. Everyone knows what he can do. “Better dead than here--”

Gloved fingers around your wrist, so tight you can practically feel them bruising.

“You don’t mean that,” he says. His voice has gotten softer, cajoling. You’re trembling in his grip. “I told you. You’re hysterical.”

“I know exactly what I’m saying,” you say, but your words feel like you’re spitting them out around a mouthful of gravel. “I—I’m calm--”

Your knees knock against your bed, but Overhaul is still clinging to you; still too close. Your heart is beating so fast that you can hear it pounding in your ears.

“You’re not. You’re hysterical.” He repeats it, calmly. The hand not on your wrist reaches up and cups your face, a gloved thumb stroking across your cheek as if you’re the most delicate thing he’s ever touched. The scent of the latex is overwhelming. “But that’s alright. It’s not your fault.” He clicks his tongue behind the mask. “It’s mine. All of this checking for the physical sickness, and I didn’t think about checking your head.”

You fall onto the bed as his knees knock against yours, your back hitting the wall. It’s just a plain, single bed; rumpled sheets, because you’d fought against any attempt for someone to come in and collect your laundry, too. Overhaul looks silly in your room, you think dimly; like a huge black crow in the nest of a small, frightened wren.

“If you fight,” he tells you, “I’ll disassemble you. I’d rather not. I don’t want to taint you by using my quirk. But . . .” He’s sinking to his knees in front of you, those same methodical hands pushing up the skirt of your dress. “If I did, I’d get a blank mind to work with. I won’t hesitate. But I’d still rather simply fix you without having to break you into pieces first.”

You know him too well to think that he’s bluffing.

After all of the vitriol you’ve spat at him, he’s unwilling to kill you. Would it be worse, to be mindless and brainless under Kai’s quirk? You’ve heard some of his failed experiments before; babbling, drooling, broken things. He’s killed them sometimes just to put them out of their misery.

What if he did that, and your mind remained perfectly capable – just utterly unable to communicate with your body? A prisoner in your own skin. Worse than even now. You swallow back the lump of fear.

“H-how are you going to do that?” You ask him.

You start at how cold the gloved fingers are on your bare thighs, as Overhaul pushes them apart. Cold fear prickles down your spine. You’re too scared to fight back, but everything he’s doing is making you want to run.

“Did you know,” Overhaul says, those same hands sliding higher, to tug at the waistband of your underwear. “In the past, there were rumours that doctors would cure hysteria by genital massage and stimulation?”

His words are very clinical, but there’s a thickness to his voice behind the mask that fills you with revulsion.

“It might be nonsense, of course,” he says. Your underwear is being tugged down, pulled around your thighs, your knees, your ankle. “They theorised that the best cure was regular intercourse, male semen, pregnancy and childbirth--”

“Kai—” Your voice is a soft whine, fear-filled. This time, he doesn’t snap at you for calling him by the name he’s left behind. He simply says;

“Spread your legs.”

You don’t want to. But you want to risk what he’s threatening you with even less, so you tearfully open them as wide as you can go. He shifts forward, and the tip of the beaked mask digs into your inner thigh as he studies you like you’re nothing more than a diagram, not a living, breathing person--

“Next time I’ll have lubricant ready,” he says, under his breath, and your heart seizes up at the implication that whatever he’s going to do to you, there’ll be a next time.

You start at the sensation of gloved fingers gently parting the lips of your sex, Overhaul’s golden eyes drinking in the sight of you spread open and bare. You’re shaking, but for some reason the way he’s looking at you – the utter concentration in his eyes – makes a curl of heat flare deep inside of you.

“Don’t,” you breathe, trying not to squirm. “Please--”

“I don’t want to have to,” he says. His tone remains calm, unbothered. “I’m doing it for your own good, you know that. Just helping you along.” One finger slides through the slit; the sensation of the gloves against your most intimate, heated parts makes the muscles in your thighs clench. It’s . . . not exactly unpleasant, but neither it is pleasant. “Do you think I’m getting any pleasure out of this?”

He doesn’t like getting his hands dirty. You know this; everyone knows this. If this particular thought was so unpleasant to him, you don’t doubt he’d have found somebody else to do it (the thought of one of the other members of the Shie Hassaikai doing this to you fills you with even more revulsion than the idea of Overhaul himself). But you can’t say that out loud. Not after what he’s threatened. So you press your lips together and shake your head, gasp dying in your throat as one of Overhaul’s latex-covered fingers prods gently around your opening.

“You’re getting wet,” he tells you, as if you can’t feel the shameful slick beginning to leak from you. “That will make this easier. Good.”

You hate that the praise makes another jolt of arousal go through you. You don’t want to like the feeling of his gloves, rubbing at your heated cunt; the sensation of a fingertip circling around your entrance, brushing the bud of your clit and making you want to clamp your thighs around his hand.

He sinks the tip of one finger inside of you and you jerk, your hips out of your control as you try and sink away from the intrusion. Overhaul clicks his tongue again in annoyance at you. The hand holding the lips of your cunt open moves, to land on your hip and pin you between the bed and the wall so you can’t squirm again.

“I’ll sedate you next time, if I have to,” he says. “I’m not getting anything out of this. I’d prefer not to have to do it at all--”

He’s lying. You know he is. But you can’t call him out for it, so you press your trembling lips together and try to stop tears spilling out from your lash line as the finger inside of you sinks further and further inside, past his first knuckle, right down to the base.

He crooks it inside of you and your hands curl into the bedsheets, nails digging into your palms through cotton. His touch is curious, exploratory; has he ever actually done this to anybody before? He slides over a rough patch inside of you with the latex-tipped finger and a moan escapes your mouth against your will, your head falling back against the wall. Narrowed golden eyes look up at you as he repeats the motion; taking in the gloss of your lips, the widening of your eyes, the way your shoulders are shaking up and down.

You can feel yourself pumping more slick out; helping the glide of his finger inside of you, as he begins to carefully thrust it in and out of you. His touch is made all the more impersonal by the mask obscuring everything but his eyes and eyebrows; you can’t even hear him breathing.

Your cunt is fluttering around him, pleasure swarming you in breathless waves as he withdraws his finger entirely. He lifts the glove to his eyeline, looking only vaguely interested in how the white latex glimmers with your arousal.

“I’m going to use two now,” he tells you – and that is all the warning you get before two fingers beside one another are opening you up, scissoring your tight channel apart with an ache that you feel up to your hips. You bite back the whimper, but you’re unable to stop the choked breaths that are falling from you as he fucks you with them in steady, constant thrusts.

A covered thumb brushes your clit; swollen, now. Sensitive. Standing to attention. Your hips attempt to jerk in his hold once more, a strangled noise that’s neither pleasured nor pain falling from your throat. You’ve touched yourself, of course you have – even recently, just to try and assuage some of the boredom that fills your exactly-the-same days – but Overhaul’s fingers and thumbs and touch on you are so entirely different from that.

He continues his assault over your clit, those same eyes watching you with that same detached, clinical disposition that he’s had most of the time. There’s a cast to them that suggests there’s something more, but whatever emotion – if, indeed, he’s still capable of that – he’s feeling about having you at his mercy in this way has been pushed to the back of his mind as his thumb rolls and pinches at the bud.

Your body goes all-over heat, Overhaul’s fingers still pumping in and out of you, the slick noises of your shaming wetness echoing around the prison of the four walls you’ve spent seven months in. You’re teetering on the edge of something, hot and needy and wanting – and as Overhaul’s thumb sweeps over your poor aching clit again, you tilt your hips forward for as much stimulation as you can--

And he pulls his fingers out of you.

The heat fades into nothingness as you let out a noise of disappointment. Overhaul’s head tilts to one side, considering.

“What do you want?” He asks you. “Say it.”

No. You don’t ‘want’. He’s wrong. You keep your mouth pressed tight now that the damning noise has fallen out of it; you have managed to not let the tears trembling in your eyes spill forth. Your gaze meets his, defiant and tired and afraid all at once.

“Alright,” he sighs. “If you’re going to carry on being difficult.”

He does it again; his fingers plunging into you, scissoring you apart, rubbing against your folds with a practised agility now that he’s done it for the first time. He has always been a fast learner; always been observant. His thumb is back on your clit with ceaseless assault, and all over again you feel heat begin to build up; tension that crawls into every crevice of your being and worms its way deep inside you despite how badly you don’t want this.

The hand holding your hip loosens somewhat, allowing you to messily thrust your hips into Overhaul’s stimulation. You’re torn; you shouldn’t want to hump against the gloved fingers stimulating you, you should be wriggling and squirming away. But it feels so good; even with the skin-tight covering of rubbery latex, Overhaul’s fingers seem to find every one of your weak points and exploit them.

There it is again, building up on you; a ball of tension in your stomach being gradually wound tighter and tighter, threatening to snap at any moment. Your hips flex against his hand, your fingers clenching and unclenching on the bedsheet--

He denies you the peak of your orgasm for the second time.

And a third.

And a fourth.

“Kai--!” You’re too far gone to even think, after the pleasure has been pulled from you so cruelly, over and over again. The tears spill over your cheeks., rolling down in fat, shaming droplets. Overhaul’s eyes narrow.

“No,” he says, vehement – more emotion in his voice than you’ve heard all day. “You know what to call me.”

You know what he wants you to call him. You know that he wants to leave his old name behind, start again, be someone who can drag the Shie Hassaikai out of the shadows and into light and power once again – and he thinks that the name will help. You gurgle out a sobbing, strangled noise;

“O-Overhaul, please--”

Three fingers are plunged as deep inside of you as they can go, crooked to rub against your sweet spot; as Overhaul murmurs, detached but soft;

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

They thrust into you, his thumb rubbing your clit with firm, certain strokes – and this time, as the orgasm rushes up on you all at once, he doesn’t stop. He fucks you with his fingers through it, his thumb not ceasing the circling. Pleasure washes over you, finally, in great waves and crests. You feel yourself gush on his fingers, soaking him in your wetness (his eyebrows furrow again, at how close your fluid comes to spilling over his bared wrist; but you are too relieved to think about anything other than finally getting what you need).

Your hips flex, gasps falling from your mouth with every thrust of them – and you expect Overhaul to pull his fingers out of you. To stop touching you. Perhaps to strip off his gloves and put on a new pair – you know he always carries spares – and sneer at you as he walks out of the room.

But Overhaul’s fingers do not move from inside of you. The fierce rhythm of his fucking and petting and rubbing does not stop, even as the final aftershocks of your orgasm clench loosely about him and his constant stimulation becomes more of an annoyance than anything else on heated, sensitive skin.

You squirm, trying to push your thighs together to get him to stop touching you – but the hand not fucking you forces your thighs to stay parted with the curl of fingers into supple flesh, leaving you helpless to do anything but let him carry on touching you. Carry on fucking you.

A short, sharp shock of an orgasm rips through you as he swirls his thumb over your clit just so, and you realise that you’re drooling down yourself as well as panting; helpless and sloppy, utterly unable to do anything except lie there and take it until Overhaul decides he’s had enough of touching you.

You come, what? Twice more? Thrice? Until the pulsing of your channel is painful, your skin feeling red raw, your whimpers into the ceiling dry and broken. Only then does he pull his fingers out of you with a lewd pop.

A gush of your fluid that his fingers were stoppering soaks your bedsheets, and you watch, dazed, as Overhaul stands up. He looks down at you for just one moment, that stretches unbearably long in the heat-and-sex soaked atmosphere of the room.

He strips his gloves off of his hands, eyebrows twitching in disgust as he leaves the crumpled latex on your bedside table. He’s sliding on another pair as he speaks;

“Feel better?”

No. No, you don’t. You feel worse. You feel disgusted and violated and aching, your body over-stimulated and exhausted, sweat and drool and bodily fluids clinging to your skin. But if you tell Overhaul that--

“Yes,” you say, voice very soft and small and weak. You cannot see his mouth, but you see the way his eyes flash happily, the overall sensation of him smiling.

Why does Overhaul’s smile make you so scared, when Kai’s smile used to just make you feel warm?

“We’ll need to do it a few more times,” he tells you, as your blood runs to ice in your veins. “Such maladies aren’t cured in a day, after all. But . . .” He turns, rearranging himself carefully, his mask readjusted. You can’t see him as he speaks the next words. “I’d like to try some of the other suggested remedies, too.”

You think of his earlier words.

‘They theorised that the best cure was regular intercourse, male semen, pregnancy and childbirth.’

You’re never going to escape, are you? You’re going to be trapped in this compound until the day you die, and Overhaul is going to think that he’s keeping you safe--

“Take a shower,” he says to you, as he opens the door. It is not a suggestion. “And stop not letting the maids come in here to clean. I’m not having you get sick.”

You think he might be the sick one.

#overhaul x reader #yandere overhaul #overhaul smut #overhaul x you #chisaki kai x reader #bnha smut #bnha x reader #dark content for ts #5555 event fic #not sfw text #writing #afab reader #fem pronouns #misogyny for ts #bnha posting #medical kink for ts #non consent for ts #dub con for ts #non con for ts

[ac-liveblogs]

Tbh the chasm quest had some nice feels, but like, how can anyone look at the current state of khaenriah and decide not to do something. I feel like it'd be better if more emphasis was placed on how trying to help them would only put them through More suffering, rather than "theyre no longer humans" (as if that matters) and "don't think of them as people" (because the gods decided they werent and apparently that means something?) Its probs just so we can continue daily genocide imo.

Literally, as I was watching Dain explain why we shouldn't try to help them, I was squinting at the screen like "okay, is this a legitimate aspect of Dainsleif's character I should take note of, or is this just a justification for why they didn't bother changing any of the quests or dialogues around hilichurl extermination?"

And it kinda sucks that I don't know what the answer is, but I am heavily trending towards option 2) because I really legitimately doubt Genshin has the guts to write someone with a character flaw as big as "would rather let their own people die than ever try to save them" when they can barely make characters that dislike you.

I mean, don't get me wrong. The idea that Dainsleif, like... has convinced himself that he is either beyond saving or doesn't deserve it and then projects that onto his entire race, or legitimately believes it would be kinder to let them die this way, is fascinating and I would love it to be the case, but only if it's a) what's actually happening and b) something we examine in greater depth.

As someone that commits genocide on the regular in FGO, I do appreciate the game's stance that even if someone is doomed, we should still try to help them if the possibility arises, even if it's futile in the end (and even if you know it's futile - you can spare these people a painful death now all you want, they're still going to die.) It's that kind of thing that means you never really forget the value of a life, and that your main characters are still ultimately good people stuck in a difficult position and doing the best they can.

Genshin just kinda... writing off an entire race, actively sabotaging attempts to help them For Their Own Good and then just kinda... moving on? Leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I like how after establishing the Royal Guards' primary goal is protecting the dying hilichurls you can challenge them all for items for a questline, that's cool. I'm watching very closely to see where this all goes - I'd like Dain's line of thought to be re-examined and ultimately proven wrong, but after Inazuma........ aha yeah I do have concerns.

Overall I think the Chasm is a really good step forward for Genshin - it's a lot more involved than previous new areas in terms of actual active questlines involving real people, and though I didn't like most of the writing I do think it's something to be positive about - especially after the snoozefest in Ekanomiya 1 and Ekanomiya 2. Also, once you get to the lower layers it's absolutely GORGEOUS??? holy hell

#replies #ac plays genshin impact #dain i WANT to love you but i can only do that if you actually have the traits this quest implies you do #on god i do not want to do an archon quest in sumeru i want to follow we will be reunited instead

[fuwushiguro]

If I had better writing skills I'd probably write a ficlet of this idea myself, it's highkey tailored for me but! Twice with a fat f!s/o who's quirk is healing related and has HUGE housewife energy. Like, it doesn't matter whether it's a tiny apartment that can barely fit two people or a temporary home with the rest of the LOV, with her cooking and attitude, it's home. Always excuses it with things like "I'm just trying to be useful, not like I'm any kind of eye candy strutting around anyway."

Hi gorgeous! If you’re interested in writing, don’t let something like lack off skill stop you! The more you do something the better you get so don’t be afraid to give it a whirl! You know I’m always down to write some Twice content (das my baby after all), but I try not to write specific character traits to readers so anyone can slot themselves into the role of y/n, I hope that’s all good! I’ll give this lil ficlet my very best shot!

Twice x f!Reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: swearing, this is SFW tbh

Words: .9k

“Come on babe, we’re gonna be late! Get your ass out here we gotta go!” Your lover called to you.

You’d locked yourself in the bathroom, you’d been in there examining your makeup for just shy of half an hour. You didn’t want to go, you didn’t want to see your sister. You loved her dearly but you avoided her at all costs, seeing her brought back too many bad memories. She was the favourite. Of course your parents never expressed this, but it was fairly obvious. She was the pretty one, the smart one, the athletic one, the talented one. Each time you tried to follow in her footsteps and get on her level, she’d already be twelve steps ahead of you.

Your internal rivalry had dissipated in adulthood. You grew into yourself and became slightly more confident. But the thought of seeing her again, hearing her many accomplishments, it scared you.

But one thing you had that she didn’t? Jin.

What if he sees her and doesn’t want to be with me anymore? What if he leaves you because he wants the upgraded sister?

You shook the thoughts away, you had to stop thinking like this or you’d work yourself up before you even got there. Jin was waiting for you, he was knocking on the door and you couldn’t help but feel the rising panic in your body. You did all that you could to keep him happy and content with you despite your lack of confidence. You felt so lucky he’d even asked you on a date, and now you were living together. You didn’t want to give him any reason to leave you, so you became the perfect housewife. You learnt to cook and bake. You cleaned the apartment until it was pristine everyday. And you fulfilled his every explicit whim. You couldn’t lose him. He was the best thing that ever happened to you, so you’d do whatever he wanted to keep him close.

“Baby, is everything okay?” He asked you, caringly. The softness of his voice forced a tear to roll down your cheek, and you couldn’t prevent your following sniffles.

“F-fine!” You fibbed through hiccupping breaths.

“You don’t sound very fine, can you let me in? Quit wasting time idiot we’re gonna be late!” He battled with himself, you could hear him grunting in annoyance at the betrayal of his secondary voice. You couldn’t help the inevitable breakdown when you’d heard the harsh reality of that alter ego of his. You knew he didn���t mean it; it was out of Jin’s control. But you knew he was right. Your silly inner child was tormenting you and stopping you from behaving rationally.

But when Jin heard you he began pounding his fists against the door, begging you to let him in. He couldn’t stand to hear you upset; it was even worse to see it. So, you didn’t want to let him in. You wanted to wait until you calmed yourself down to let him see you. But the pounding didn’t relent. He was pleading with you to let him see you, but you wouldn’t.

“LET ME IN BABY! FINE, STAY IN THERE YOU BITCH! AAAAA I didn’t mean it, baby open the door!” He wrestled with himself, you hated to hear him like this. He was getting so worked up, but you knew he’d be just as upset as you if you couldn’t get a hold of yourself before you opened the door. “PLEASE, I’M GONNA TEAR APART!” He cried.

Just like that, you opened the door and rushed to his side. He was crouched on the floor with his back against the wall, panting heavily with his head in his hands. You pulled him into your arms, and thankfully your quirk always seemed to calm him down. That was one of the many reasons he loved you. He loved how sweet and caring you were, and how safe he always felt in your arms. The healing quirk you possessed is something that set you apart from your sister. She may have had everything you wanted when you were growing up, but you were the one who actually cared about and for other people.

“I’m so sorry Jin, I just had a weird moment I guess…” You sighed.

“I’m okay, it’s okay. No it’s not. Ugh, do you wanna talk about it?” He asked you, genuinely concerned.

“I just… I’m worried you’ll like my sister more than me. Everyone else does. I’m just a spare part in my family. She was good at everything… And she’s the pretty one… I don’t want to lose you.” You confessed, the tears threatening to spill over once again. It took every ounce of your willpower to stop that from happening. You didn’t want to worry Jin anymore, you had to be strong for him right now.

“I don’t care about your sister. I don’t know her, and I don’t want to know her like I know you. You’re my girl. SHE SOUNDS LIKE AN ASS. Heh… You’re my gorgeous girlfriend, nothing in the world will change that.” He told you.

The words made your lip quiver. He really loved you. You were so lucky to have such an amazing and considerate boyfriend. You loved him so much, more than you could possibly ever express. You wanted to keep him all to yourself, family reunion be damned.

“Let’s not go tonight.” You suggested, wondering what your lovers response would be.

“Sounds perfect to me.”

© 2021 fuwushiguro

(Anon I hope this was okay! Thanks so much for your request <3)

I finally made a tag list!! If you wanna be tagged in my work, feel free to fill out this form, thank you hehe 💞

#twice mha #league of villains #BNHA twice #mha #BNHA #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #twice x reader #twice fluff #twice x reader fluff #Jin #Jin Bubaigawara #Jin Bubaigawara fluff #Jin Bubaigawara x reader #bnha twice x reader #mha twice x reader #my hero academia twice x reader #bnha jin bubaigawara x reader #mha jin bubaigawara x reader #bnha fan fic #mha fan fic #league of villains fluff #mha fluff #BNHA fluff #league of villains x y/n #league of villains x reader #boku no hero academia fan fic #Venus Mail ✨

[into-the-afterlife]

This is about your why I ship female v with Johnny post, I was going to just reply to it but it was getting quite lengthy so I moved here lol

I 100% agree, especially about the voice acting issue. Another point that I'd raise is how enthusiastic he is about male V getting with Panam as opposed to his blatant pettiness and jealousy towards female Vs LI (especially River ofc, the "spinning a new song anyway" scene when you're heading to River to cook with him is unexplainable in platonic terms as far as I'm concerned lmao) - I think that's a not so subtle detail that makes their dynamics shift in my eyes. But I may be biased as I ship them like crazy and would never play with a male V to begin with, ops. Also, I've seen your post on reddit and noticed how someone kindly pointed out how "canonically" V isn't Johnny's type - as if you wouldn't had noticed by yourself ;) - and I just want to say I'm baffled by the way people seem to automatically list everything they're being spoon-fed as gospel truth without any critical thinking getting involved. Johnny is but a human being, we can't just rule out the possibility that he isn't lying, consciously or not. Which he is, imho, cause it just makes no sense for V not to be his "type" tbh. Idk, maybe it's wishful thinking cause I love the idea of them falling in love with each other, the bittersweet tragedy that comes from it... 💖

Firstly: thanks so much for such an involved ask! It’s always so lovely to see that people like my writing :D

Secondly: ooooooh I hadn’t even thought about how Johnny reacts to the love interests but it’s so true! Particularly River lmao, it’s definitely at least partially motivated by River being a cop, but I also suspect that he sees River as a direct rival. Like, he’s dismissive of Judy, but warms up to her eventually. River, though? It’s nopenopenopenopeity to nopetown from the start, and I strongly suspect it’s because River/V is an M/F relationship, a direct comparison to what Johnny could have with V. (This fanfic explores that really well, btw: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28362381/chapters/69490191 ).

Thirdly: It’s nice to see there are others who appreciate both Reddit and Tumblr’s charms. I mean, I do get where that user is coming from. Closely examining the canon and knowing all its ins and outs is a perfectly valid way of approaching fandom, and I definitely enjoy aspects of that kind of approach. But as I say at the start of that post, I want to come at this from a ‘What if?’ perspective, and if that’s not that user’s cup of tea, it’s not their cup of tea.  

Fourthly, and lastly: I’m really on the fence about whether Johnny is lying about V not being his type, tbh. On the one hand, I absolutely agree with you about it not making sense. Both Rogue and Alt are active, intelligent, decisive, skilled and daring women - all traits that V shares. And Johnny is established as unreliable.

 On the other...I do think in canon it makes sense for Johnny and V to stay platonic. If they went from enemies to lovers in-game, they wouldn’t have gotten the kind of deep, believable characterisation of their relationship that we know and love. It would have been too much to stuff into the timespan of the plot. I also like seeing representations of friendships between men and women that stay as friendships.

But God, do I agree with you about their bittersweet tragedy. I’m going to talk about this more in upcoming posts, but V/Johnny are a special kind of M/F ship. And that’s the joy of fandom, isn’t it? To take what’s great about canon and go ‘Yes, and...’

#asks #johnny/v #v/johnny #silverv #female v #johnny silverhand #johnny x v #v x johnny #fanfic rec #fanfic #cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunkgame #cyberpunk v #my writing

[ace-adore]

I've known for a few years that I'm ace and I never questioned it much further tbh. I just thought "Hey at least I can like guys romantically, right? That has to count for something". But at some point I had to admit that I'd rather spend my life with a girl than a boy because my stupid mind and body just freezes up whenever boys are too close which is ridiculous because "they" were just kids themselves back then and children can't sexually abuse other children, right? So there is no reason for my damn body and mind to react that way and I shouldn't be shaking even thinking about letting a guy anywhere near me. As I said: Stupid.

So I guessed that I'm probably biromantic because even though I'd prefer girls simply because they don't scare me a relationship with a boy would be the "hetero-normal" and stupid as it might sound, some part of me just craves normality.

But the thing is that I don't really "want want" a romantic relationship either, which scares me even more. I was able to handle the whole ace thing just fine without any trouble whatsoever, but I feel like THIS, not even wanting a romantic relationship, is too much. Most people struggle to understand even the ace part and either make really crude remarks or just silently accept it in either a "You are weird but alright if that's how you feel (:" or a "You are weird...like a Zoo animal xD" kinda way.

How do you go around telling someone that you don't really feel romantic attraction as well as no sexual attraction? That you just want to spend your life with a best friend who you love with your whole heart but in a Platonic way.

And is that even what's happening? Is it okay to feel that way? This whole thing has made me feel confused, nervous, helpless and as if I did something wrong, and I don't like to feel this way. I just want to stop feeling like there's something not quite right with me, as if something was broken that's supposed to be intact.

How can I fix this?

Also, I'm terribly sorry for putting that on you and I understand if you can't/won't answer. I guess I just never talked about this shit and your blog seemed save, I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry.

Hello anon :)

First off, I'm proud of you! This sounds like something that has been weighing on you a lot, huh? Even if it doesn't feel like it, writing it all out like this helps. You're making progress.

Second of all... I think part of why so many aces and aros find themselves feeling like they're lacking boils down to how we define our orientation. A lack of attraction. An absence of attraction. It's easy to internalize as a missing piece inside of ourselves. People ask us why we're like this and it's such a frustrating thing. I could no easier explain why don't I like certain foods, or certain colors.

You crave normalcy. For people to understand. Do you analyze all the facets of your attraction in the hopes that being able to explain it in a neat and tidy way will make them understand you? Or maybe you find yourself searching for something normal to grasp onto. This is all my conjecture of course... but in my experience I've found that aces and aros examine themselves more intensely than any allo I've ever met.

Trying to figure it all out is human. But you might be frustrating yourself and making yourself feel worse when it doesn't make sense to you no matter how much you try. Here's my advice. Pay attention to what you do know you want (spending your life with a platonic partner) and just... let go of the rest. You don't need the rest. Don't fixate on the rest. Don't let the things you think you should want get in the way of accomplishing what you really want.

You're gonna be alright anon.

#asks #asexual #asexuality #aro #aromantic #long ask #i probably could've been more brief with that #but here we are #questioning

[moderngirlmp3]

THEY'RE A PART OF YOU TOO !!! exactly

oh my god yEAH. and not to be overdramatic, but with the right books it can really feel like a tiny sliver of your soul and then. you give it to them and they read it and examine and judge it and yeah <3

BESTIE BESTIE BESTIE. !!!!! "just so you can have the feeling of rebellion and spontaneity and freedom" that's such a mood my god. playlists that you might never use but at least you had fun my beloved- and. shut up shut up shut uppp stopping in the night and just sitting and vibing with your friends???? immaculate.

valid, and neither can i so. aLTHOUGH. YOUR POETRY WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING AND HOW DARE YOU SAY YOU CANNOT ART!!!

poetry truly does break your soul in the most painful and quiet ways and hhhh. pretty words that will make you feel more than you have ever felt. incredible. magical.

oranges!!! love them. for no apparent reason, art of oranges absolutely slaps lmao.

FSHDLFKJ A MEEDBOARD. YES, 100% YES. vibes vibes vibes. that sounds so nice, i love that aesthetic. so much.

least favorite is probably lunch? idk it just feels weirdly placed and like. man i gotta interrupt my reading to go get up and make myself a sandwhich ?? fhsdkljf i might just be lazy. favorite, breakfast because i can eat something sweet/sugary if i want, and most of the times i can eat by myself and read/watch something + listen to music.

aesthetic? hmm. maybe antisocial kid with anxiety, who hasn't figured out how to dress better than a 12 yo boy? and then once you get to know me more it's more like. chaotic and queer nerd, still with anxiety though!! idk,, i don't really fit into typical aesthetics very well? my meedboard would probably have starry skies and headphones, sheet ghosts, and landscape photos? i have- no idea where i would most want to live. i had a plan with my friend to move to canada, so maybe there? i've only been a few times but yep :) and i would ideally like to be close to my family, but probably not live in the same house as them. i'd live with my close friends because the thought of growing apart physically and emotionally is. not very pleasant lmao.

what would you say your aesthetic is? you get to be a fictional character of your choice for a day; who do you choose? what book do you really want to read rn? opinion on popsockets?? - 🌵

no no i completely agree you're giving them a piece of your soul and saying here please take it and take good care of it !!

lmao i. completely forgot about that poetry thing. yeah. thank you that is very sweet.

"the most painful and quiet ways" EXACTLY. like you'll read something and then read it again and just slowly go "oh." followed by an ache and an ow. and it's sort of undefinable but you just kinda hurt? in a really really good way.

SO TRUE. oranges <3

thank you thank you i appreciate my meedboard a whole lot

NO LITERALLY LUNCH IS SO WEIRD. I DONT UNDERSTAND IT. so true. it is literally just an interruption and having random (unhealthy) snacks throughout the day is just so much better. oooh breakfast is cool !!!

DUDE your aesthetic... if i saw you in public i would probably get a) gender envy and b) an intense desire to be best friends with you. ahhhh your meedboard is so fucking cool i love it so much. omg canada that's cool !! SO TRUE. living with close friends <3333

dude i have no idea what my aesthetic is. probably "disaster child with anxiety and probably other stuff but aNYWAY and wants to look gay but is too tired to commit to it". i have no idea. oooh i get to BE a fictional character? dude... i'm gonna go with being flynn from jatp so i can experience being a) the most iconic person ever b) best friends with julie molina c) in a homoerotic rivalry thing with carrie wilson.

oh i really want to read,,, uhhhh,,,, fuck. i was JUST thinking about this. uh. FUCK. oh. i wanna read the wolf and the woodsman!! i've been meaning to for wayyyy too long lmao.

popsockets are so cool!! amazing fidget thing tbh and also useful af!! but seriously why are they so fucking expensive like. why. for what. no. not worth it.

is it easier for you to read books or watch things? what do you procrastinate doing, and what do you use to procrastinate? if you could be a fictional character for a day, which one and why? if you were a ghost what would you do?

#plu answers #a-mere-chaotic-queer #🌵anon

[bamyan]

Hiii thank you so much for replying! Yeah tbh at the beginning that's what I thought too, I thought it's okay to have less but meaningful conversations instead of chatting. But i don't think my mutuals think like me . The one i was closest to, has become soooo distant and I feel like I'm trying too hard to talk to her these days . Maybe i should just accept that this is the end of that friendship and move on 😔 But i feel so bad bcuz this happens all the time. All my mutuals get distant at some point, and it hurts bcuz i always make time for connections? I value online friendships but when people get busy , it's so easy to ghost people on here ☹️ and i know that's how social media should be!! You should always put your real life first and all but ahhhhhhhh idk i just don't apply that in my life ☹️ i guess it's best not to get so close to anyone , and I can avoid getting abandoned 😔 sorry I'm ranting ! And thank you soooooooo much for your thoughtful response!! Really appreciate it so much 💜💜💜

It's never useful to distance yourself from others just because you're afraid of getting hurt, all you're doing then is making sure that you hurt yourself before someone else can. And I say that as a capricorn who does the same thing lol! I'm sorry about the distance in your friendship, sometimes it's good to examine the amount of effort you're putting into a relationship vs. the amount of effort the other person in putting in and then determine if you're being appreciated enough in it! But your friend could also be dealing with a lot of their own problems, too (we never really know what someone else is dealing with) so I'd recommend making sure they're okay once before taking that step back from the friendship and if they ever want to reach out again, they'll know you're still there.

I think one way that you can make online friendships more substantial is to be friends with someone over multiple platforms and in different ways so instead of relying on dms on tumblr, you can be friends on instagram (I have oomfs who aren't on tumblr anymore but we follow each other on instagram and I love seeing how they're doing!) or twitter. I think discord's also great for online friendships because you can watch movies or youtube clips together and can even talk/see each other which gives another layer to an online friendship (it's how my irl friends and I would meet up for all of 2020 lol).

#and don't worry about ranting 💕 #answered

[mystic-sky]

I'm in the mood for angst lol. If you don't mind, I'd like to request Zen, Jumin, Jaehee, Saeran, and V dealing with MC's death. I'm thinking probably sudden death, like an accident or a medical condition she wasn't aware she had, etc., but tbh I'm gonna leave all that up to you. ^-^

WARNING SENSITIVE CONTENT: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

I got a little emotional myself so i had to put that there

it got a lil dark for me with V’s

I’ve never done angst before? I don’t think I have. But I’ll give it a shot, enjoy :)

Zen

He wasn’t there when he heard that had you collapsed. His heart dropped when he received a call from Jumin, his least favorite person, about the news.

“I’m a little busy right now. What the hell do you want, trust fund kid?” He muttered into the phone.

“This is serious, Zen. You need to come to the hospital on main street. It’s MC, she.. she isn’t okay..” Jumin trailed off.

“What? What happened?” Zen said.

“Mr. Han, she’s not breathing.”

“It says that she has a DNR on file.”

“I have to call you back. You need to come here, fast.” Jumin said.

The line went dead and Zen stood there.

“I have to go.” He said to his supervisor.

“But we still have one more scene to cover-

“This is urgent. My girlfriend’s in the hospital.” He says, grabbing his jacket. He bolted to the nearest train station, hopping over the turnstile.

He got there 15 minutes too late, baffling all the medical professionals with questions after a heartfelt crying session.

(Let’s pretend MC has that unspecified disease that Kaori had from Your Lie in April, if you’ve ever seen that anime before, yeah?)

He felt like shit, everyone was there except for him.

“I don’t understand. What do you mean she had a DNR?”

“You don’t think…that MC knew she was sick..” Jaehee inquired.

“Nonsense! She would’ve told me! I know everything there is to know about her!” Zen spat.

“The doctor’s said she was on all sorts of medications…that she was only prolonging the inevitable…” Jumin said, loosening his tie.

You both didn’t live together, how would was he supposed to know that?

Zen peered back through the hospital door window, before walking in the room once again.

You were laying their peacefully.

You looked weary and pale now, compared to how he saw you this morning.

“I didn’t even know.. Why didn’t you tell me? You didn’t want me to worry? Well, look at me now..I’m a mess.” He said, looking down at you.

He lent down to kiss your still warm forehead.

He stayed with you for hours, until he was forced to leave.

Funeral was too much

You didn’t have family so it was kind of just the RFA

Jumin

He was on a business trip when he heard the news

He had actually been begging to bring you along but you insisted that he went alone.

“MC, I’ll pay for your plane ticket and everything. You don’t have to worry about a thing.” He said, snuggling into you. Little did he know this would be the last time he’d be sleeping with you since his flight was in the morning. 

“Jumin, I can’t just get up and come with you whenever you go on a business trip. Besides, it’s only for two days. You’ll be fine.” You insisted.

“But I’ll miss you too much.” He said, leaving kisses on the back of your neck. 

“I’ll be here when you come back.”

Less than 48 hours later, you had died in a car crash.

He had landed in and been in Dubai for only 4 hours and of course he booked it back in minutes to see you.

“I just…I just saw her this morning…” Jumin said, biting back tears. “There’s no way she could actually be gone.”

When he got to the hospital he was more angry than grieving.

“What do you mean there was nothing you could have done to save her?!” He’s giving the doctors a hard time.

“She had died on impact, Mr. Han. Her car… it stopped moving in the middle of a main street. And then the truck just came and rammed into her. The weight of it came down, nearly scraping the whole upper half of the vehicle, along with her in it.” Said the medical examiner.

The funeral was the hardest for him

closed casket 

He found himself sitting in front of it after the viewing when everyone left.

“You told me I’d be fine. I don’t feel fine at all right now MC.” 

“You should’ve just let me bring you with me. I know how difficult I can be sometimes but I just want..I wanted to protect you.”

He’s a mess

I’m a mess

Jaehee

This one was some sort of freak accident.

She was there

You both went to the mall and there was this huge gas tank explosion that went off in one of the lower levels

There were reports of people who could smell gas but the staff didn’t move quick enough and a number of people died 

including you

“Jaehee, I think we should save the shopping for another day. Besides, I’m getting a weird vibe and it smells like gas on the whole first floor.” You told her while you both were inside one of the stores.

“I agree. I’ll pay for this and then we can leave.” She smiled.

Every second counts, you both could’ve made it out of there if she put down the dress she wanted.

“We were both holding hands, walking towards the exit. And then suddenly there was this really loud sound..and lots of shaking. The upper floors didn’t hold up and started collapsing. That’s when she pushed me out the way.. and.. and..” Jaehee choked out in her hospital bed. 

Zen was there to console her.

jaehee x zen

ill go home

lots of hugs for Jaehee

she’s too precious for this

Saeran

You had always been a bit on the wild side, something he wasn’t too fond of.

You recommended going hiking one weekend.

As usual, if he thought it would make you happy, he’d go along with it.

“Saeran, how about we go hiking in the mountains this weekend? I’ll even pack up a picnic basket with snacks and stuff.” You said cheerily.

“You wanna have a picnic in the mountains? Can’t we just go to the park like a normal couple?” He said, not really up for it in the beginning.

“That’s the first time you called us a couple!” You cooed, literally jumping onto him on the couch.

“If you don’t get off me I’ll take it back!” He spat.

“You don’t mean that! I love you so much Saeran.” You said, showering him with kisses.

He’s a blushing mess right now.

The weekend comes and you guys go out on your hiking trip. After a sunset picnic dinner you guys head back down.

“Are you sure we can walk on this bridge, Saeran?” You said, checking it’s sturdiness. 

“It’s the quickest way down.” He insists. “See, the city lights are that way. We could go back the way we came but that’d take another hour.” He said.

“O-Okay..”

He walks ahead of you and you trail slowly behind him. 

Believe it or not he slipped first, having one of his feet break through one of the wooden logs.

“Shit, my leg!” He cries out.

“Saeran!” You say. “Don’t worry I’m coming to help you!’ 

You run towards him, having several of the wooden logs break. The whole bridge collapses now, sending both of you towards the bottom of the pit.

Saeran survives the fall, having being cradled by a tree on the way down, whereas you suffer a different fate.

Your body hits the grounds, breaking your bones, etc.

It takes a while for Saeran to come to, before he climbs down from the tree with aching limbs.

He finds you there, no signs of being alive. He realizes that your gone and lets out an agonizing scream.

“God why?! She did nothing wrong! I’ve sinned far more than she ever could have!”

He spends the rest of his life thinking it should’ve been him.

Might never love again

V (Jihyun)

You two had gotten into a fight about god knows what

Being the stubborn person you are, you storm out of the house, leaving him to think about the issue

You turned off your phone, not wanting to be bothered

Of course, maybe 15 mins later he goes out looking for you

He hates it when you both fight, mostly because it took him so long to start loving someone again. You mended his broken heart and he couldn’t bare the fact that you were upset with him.

You were walking in the dead of night, nothing could be seen but the street lights and parked cars on the curb.

“I don’t like it when we fight either. Maybe I should go back home.” You say to yourself, deciding to turn back and go home. You knew he’d be willing to talk it out. That’s just how he is.

You’re walking back home now, thinking about what to say to him. You wanted him to know you were sorry, that you didn’t mean to yell at him. You were just angry.

Then, you heard a bottle roll behind you.

“Is someone there?” You say, whipping your head behind you. There was nothing. Nothing but cars on the curb. Or so you thought.

You were speed walking now.

You turned you phone back on and called Jihyun, who immediately answered the phone.

“MC! I was so worried about you! I kept calling you but it kept going to voicemail. Where are you?! Are you oka-

“I think I’m being followed. I’m scared Jihyun.” 

“Where are you?! Go towards the main street with lots of people, okay? Find a store or a gas station!”

“I’m walking home. The main street is back in the other direction- where I heard the sounds.”

“I’m coming down the street right now! Keep walking. And don’t look back, they might attack you if they know you suspect them!” He says.

“Okay.”

You kept walking but the person behind only walked faster, grabbing you.

“Now, what’s a pretty young thing like you doing out here at this time of night?” 

“Let go of me!” Swung your fists, dropping the phone.

“MC?! Hello, MC?!” He was yelling into the phone now. He jetted down the street, searching for you.

“Don’t give me a hard time now-AHH!” Said the attacker as you stepped on his foot.

You bolted down an alleyway, only to be caught at a dead end.

“Stay away! Dammit I said stay away!” You screamed.

Jihyun was running down the street he thought you were on.

“She should be here. This is the only way you can walk to get back towards the apartment.” He could barely breathe. He’d been panicking since he lost contact with you.

It wasn’t until he found your phone, with the call still going, that he assumed the worst.

“She must be this way then.” He said, peering into the dark alleyway.

He ran down the dark path, finding a man fondling your limp body.

“Get your hands off of her!” Jihyun snapped at this point, throwing a nearby brick at the man’s skull, immediately knocking him out.

There was blood everywhere, now a mixture of the man’s and yours.

He dropped to his knees, beside your body, cradling you.

“MC, wake up.” He didn’t sound like himself but he didn’t care.

You didn’t move.

He lent down towards you nose and mouth, and there was nothing.

His tears spilled onto your lifeless body and the longer he held you the more his hands became soiled with blood. 

He was too late and he knew that.

#mysme #mystic messenger #v route #jihyun kim #jumin han #mysme zen #jaehee kang