Ordinary Beast, Nicole Sealey
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— Even the Gods, Nicole Sealey
[text ID: Even the eyes of gods must adjust to light. Even gods have gods.]
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Give me tonight to be inconsolable.
so the death drive does not declare
itself, so the moonlight does not convince
sunrise. I was born before sunrise—
when morning masquerades as night,
the temperature of blood, quivering
like a mouth in mourning. How do we
author our gentle birth, the height
we were—were we gods rolling stars across
a sundog sky, the same as scarabs?
We fit somewhere between god
and mineral, angel and animal,
believing a thing as sacred as the sun rises
and falls like an ordinary beast.
Deer sniff lifeless fawns before leaving,
elephants encircle the skulls and tusks
of their dead—none wanting to leave
the bones behind, none knowing
their leave will lessen the loss. But birds
pluck their own feathers, dogs
lick themselves to wound. Allow me this
luxury. Give me tonight to cut
and salt the open. Give me a shovel
to uproot the mandrake and listen
for its scream. Give me a hard face that toils
so closely with stone, it is itself
stone. I promise to enter the flesh again.
I promise to circle to ascend.
I promise to be happy tomorrow.
Imagine Sisyphus Happy by Nicole Sealey
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~ Nicole Sealey, "Object Permenance"
[text id: There's a name for the animal // love makes of us -- named, I think, / like rain, for the sound it makes" /end id]
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Medical History
Nicole Sealey
I’ve been pregnant. I’ve had sex with a man
who’s had sex with men. I can’t sleep.
My mother has, my mother’s mother had,
asthma. My father had a stroke. My father’s
mother has high blood pressure.
Both grandfathers died from diabetes.
I drink. I don’t smoke. Xanax for flying.
Propranolol for anxiety. My eyes are bad.
I’m spooked by the wind. Cousin Lily died
from an aneurysm. Aunt Hilda, a heart attack.
Uncle Ken, wise as he was, was hit
by a car as if to disprove whatever theory
toward which I write. And, I understand,
the stars in the sky are already dead.
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Dawn Lundy Martin in “Vagrant & Vulnerable,” featured in the September/October 2017 issue of Poets & Writers Magazine.
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after “a violence”
you hear the high-pitched yowls of strays
fighting for scraps tossed from a kitchen window.
they sound like children you might have had.
had you wanted children. had you a maternal bone,
you would wrench it from your belly and fling it
from your fire escape. as if it were the stubborn
shard now lodged in your wrist. no, you would hide it.
yes, you would hide it inside a barren nesting doll
you’ve had since you were a child. its smile
reminds you of your father, who does not smile.
nor does he believe you are his. “you look just like
your mother,” he says, “who looks just like a fire
of suspicious origin.” a body, i’ve read, can sustain
its own sick burning, its own hell, for hours.
it’s the mind. it’s the mind that cannot.
nicole sealey
[listen here]
i. the bug collector haley heynderickx/ ii. time comes in roses bess atwell/ iii. garden of eden billie marten/ iv. glow alice phoebe lou/ v. poppies flipturn/ vi. my lady’s on fire ty segall/ vii. zombie! orla gartland/ viii. where the bodies are buried liz lawrence/ ix. elephant in the room kynsy/ x. sucker madeline kenney/ xi. you shadow sharon van etten/ xii. shattering the hourglass deep sea diver/ xiii. untitled god song haley heynderickx/
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Ordinary Beast, Nicole Sealey
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Even the gods misuse the unfolding blue. Even the gods misread the windflower’s nod toward sunlight as consent to consume. Still, you envy the horse that draws their chariot. Bone of their bone. The wilting mash of air alone keeps you from scaling Olympus with gifts of dead or dying things dangling from your mouth—your breath, like the sea, inching away. It is rumored gods grow where the blood of a hanged man drips. You insist on being this man. The gods abuse your grace. Still, you’d rather live among the clear, cloudless white, enjoying what is left of their ambrosia. Who should be happy this time? Who brings cake to whom? Pray the gods do not misquote your covetous pulse for chaos, the black from which they were conceived. Even the eyes of gods must adjust to light. Even gods have gods.
— Even the Gods, Nicole Sealey
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Medical History by Nicole Sealey
I’ve been pregnant. I’ve had sex with a man
who’s had sex with men. I can’t sleep.
My mother has, my mother’s mother had,
asthma. My father had a stroke. My father’s
mother has high blood pressure.
Both grandfathers died from diabetes.
I drink. I don’t smoke. Xanax for flying.
Propranolol for anxiety. My eyes are bad.
I’m spooked by wind. Cousin Lilly died
from an aneurysm. Aunt Hilda, a heart attack.
Uncle Ken, wise as he was, was hit
by a car as if to disprove whatever theory
toward which I write. And, I understand,
the stars in the sky are already dead.
3 notes
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