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#not a real sticker yet but if anyone's interested i can make it real :]
jinaxxo · 1 month
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you are the only exception
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agent-cakeshroom · 2 months
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Trolls Universe TMNT
There's at least 4 of you out there interested in my thoughts on tmnt being in the Trolls universe. SO HERE IS THOUGHTS
To start with, their species! I figured it would be similar to trolls with there being different subspecies of turtle-people(no idea on name yet). Maybe not all the turtles that exist, but some popular ones. We gotta have the obvious: Alligator Snapping Turtle, Softshell Turtle, Red-eared Slider, and Ornate Box Turtle. I'm debating on whether the turtles all live together, or in smaller groups based on their real life habitats.
Generally, they'd be about a head taller than your average troll. However, turtles like the Alligator Snapping Turtle are twice the size of a normal turtle. When designing any of them, I try to keep in mind they have sharper edges. More square vs Trolls who are more round. They only have three fingers, much like in the TMNT cartoons, although if we include Sea Turtles maybe they'd have webbed fingers?? They all have TAILS!
They're born from eggs of course, but it's more of a community thing than with Trolls. The eggs are kept safe in a pond dug specifically to house the eggs, and there's a rotation of turtles on protection duty. Parents will come and bond with their egg by simply holding them in the water, talking to them, and just being close.
Now onto TMNT specific thoughts! I wanna keep the species to the ones from ROTTMNT since they make sense. Raph is an Alligator Snapping turtle. His skin is tougher than his brothers', his shell is thicker with large spikes, and all of his teeth are sharp. His tail is nearly as long as a troll is tall, and he can control it about as much as a cat. With his size and sharp edges, Raph is incredibly careful and gentle around others. To the point his brothers are entirely unafraid and will climb all over him like a jungle gym. Mostly Mikey. Speaking of, Mikey is an Ornate Box Turtle with yellow spots across his skin, maybe like large freckles? And yellow stripes on his carapace. He's definitely the roundest of the bunch, but still more square than a troll. He's about the size of an average troll, being the runt. Leo is a red-eared slider of course, but unlike the ROTTMNT design the red stripes run under his eyes almost like eyeliner and then down back towards where ears would be. And he has two light yellow stripes on each arm from shoulder to wrist, as well as one on each side of his face from under his chin to his collar bone. Donnie, as a soft shell, is more lanky than his 'twin' but has similar stripes down his arms. However, rather than light yellow they're a dark brown, and he has a faint yellow spot on the outer corner of each eye.
The brothers aren't going to wear masks, but they'll all have an article of clothing with their colors instead. Raph has a large bandana neckerchief/scarf that he likes to hide his face in when he's embarrassed, along with dark red wraps on his wrists and ankles. Mikey wears a bright orange short sleeve cropped hoodie, and he has brightly colored stickers across the front of his plastron. He's also got burnt orange leg warmers, and a few brightly colored bracelets. Donnie has a sort of battle shell, still bright purple, but with a lot less features. He also has his goggles, a tool belt, and dark purple leather gloves. Leo I'm unsure about, so if anyone has some ideas lemme know lol. Been sat here for 20 minutes trying to parse out his design. I'm trying to avoid giving them pants because the shells, almost rethinking Mikey's top too, but I keep wanting to give Leo stirrup socks of some kind.
Ok, I'm getting sleepy so I'll stop here. Feel free to share thoughts, suggestions, criticisms, etc.
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turbobyakuren · 5 months
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@cerastes this is putting me on the spot here because there’s so many i love so i’ll rank them by combining the two factors together (there are gunplas that i love solely because they look good and others i love solely for the build experience ndfsqfdsq)
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3. HG Qubeley Revive. Unorthodox, weird, strange. Comes with so many runners and overall surprisingly amazing build experience and AMAZING shelf presence. I loved it so much that i kept it on my desk for weeks before putting it with the others. It Qubeley’s design is simply amazing and i love how the build reflects the uniqueness of it. I love that they went the extra miles to make the details color separated and not stickers (the only stickers iirc are the ones on the bottom of the shoulder pads). I bought it before i watched Zeta Gundam because it was the last one of the store and after i finished Zeta Gundam i threw myself into it and it is an amazing experience. I would recommend it to anyone who wants a change of pace because i just lOVE unique designs in gunplas
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2. HG Darilbalde. I would easily put every Witch From Mercury line kits there because they are fucking INSANE, all of them. Aerial is insane, Michaelis is a real beauty, demi barding is quite literally incredible and while i love Calibarn and Schwarzette’s designs, i have yet to build them so i cannot tell you fully. And while i’m not too big on Zowort’s design, it is the most buttery-smooth gunpla i ever built (and i would recommend it to anyone who wants to get into gunpla with a kit that is not difficult to build). Darilbalde gets the top spot of the list because it’s really THE gunpla ever. It has great build experience with interesting engineering and easy-to-apply decals, iIt has sick colors, you can do SO MUCH with its gimmicks (especially the flying hands and shields), it comes with a melee weapon THAT SPLITS IN HALF and has overall amazing shelf presence. I thnik it’s a must-have and easily one of the most iconic mobile suits out there. He is at the center of my WFM display (which isn’t intentional) and ihe very much deserves being there.
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1. RG Nu Gundam. I had a beef with RG because i literally got the worst possible RG. This reconciled me with it. RG inner frames have gotten crazy ever since Tallgeese, but this takes the cake. This takes SO MUCH the cake. Fun fact, after i finished building it, i kept playing with the articulations and made him do poses for a little while because it was THAT good. Absolutely unhinged. Building experience was great, design is absolutely GORGEOUS and the sheer size of it compared to most gunpla + the finn funnels gives it amazing shelf presence. The only downside is that i haven’t figured out a way to make the fin funnels fly. i’d love to know how to do it without resorting to buying a specific kit. Anyways, I love this guy so much.
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TURN A GUNDAM. Turn A Gundam.
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dawnthefluffyduck · 2 months
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First project is done :D
Actually, even though I'm in two studios this semester, I'm likely only going to post class projects for my digital one, since the other is a figure drawing class, and I can't exactly post drawings of other real people (we will do a self portrait, so I *might* share that one if it doesn't turn out as inaccurate as the last one did).
Project notes under the cut as always (and bonus, I got some cut out! Picture below)
I can't lie, this isn't exactly how I wanted it to turn out. I actually started to hand draw in more complex shading, but when I opened the file this morning, everything I had done over the weekend was completely gone (weird computer issue, not because I forgot to save it). I ended up having to add in some reallly simple shadows at the last minute (just because some of these really needed some modicum of depth in order to work), and barely got this done in time. But, it's done, and it's turned in :)
This project was meant to familiarize us with using Adobe Illustrator; we were told to make a sheet of 6-10 stickers that represented a place we can't actually go to. I actually did a very similar project last spring; that time, we were told to depict a place that we wanted to go to, so a real place. This one was was a bit more abstract, and I'm in my baby-ex-christian era, so I really wanted to do heaven and hell for this. It felt like tasteful blasphemy, and it felt nice doing this for a prompt that implied that these places weren't real. Made me happy :D my professor loved the idea, so I took it and ran with it haha.
The class loved it; mine was the first one they wanted to discuss during critique after the only volunteer went, and it felt really nice. I put a ton of time into this so I'm happy to see it pay off even if it's not exactly how I wanted it to turn out.
I'll probably play around with it more? I won't be doing the complex shading I initially had planned because that was not a fun experience to have to redo. Some color and shape adjustments are needed for me to be fully happy with it though, so that'll probably be a "my personal free time" thing.
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I went to war with the Cricut in the art building, but managed to get one set to cut well :D my classmates took some of the ones I cute out, which made me really happy. I'll be making some more to give to friends so I'll probably post more about my paper cutter woes on my alt within the next week haha
If anyone is interested in having some, lmk and I'll see if I can figure out how to mail them? I can't say for sure if I'll be doing that just yet, but if some people are interested I'll look into it!
Anyway, I'm still proud of these, and I think that even with the hiccups included, this still turned out light-years better than the last time I did this project (or, a veeery similar one). Will definitely be decreasing the detail scale on the next project though :')
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deerinstinct · 14 days
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Ok so my insane posts two nights ago were about this. THE BIG ALKAKUREI FINALE EVENT. As you can hear here it made me feel dizzy. I’m so so excited because the premise of having them swap leaders means soooooo much potential for interactions I’m so thrilled. If the name is a reference to the movie that makes it so transgender to be honest I’m sure Matrix is a word that existed before The Matrix though. The expressions here are so good I feel crazy. The leader-swap is SUCH a good premise. The outfits… aaah… so good.
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The matching Amagi 5☆ of my dreams… I knew they’d be the 5☆, but I didn’t expect them to match!!!!! (>_<。) I feel crazy. Something about the art direction for all of these cards is also just very very good.
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Ai-chan is one of the 5☆ which I was hoping for i’m sooo excited. I wonder what exactly she means, by “why did you have to change like that?” After all, they are narrative foils and have so much substance in the main story, especially with how Aira essentially served as his saviour in a sense; reminded him what truly matters. She is like if Rinne were untainted, if he had been saved before it was too late, if his love for idols remained pure. It could be something silly though, but for videos like these the quotes don’t match the CGS, & the CG IS SO SILLY. She wants Hiro-kun back so badly. I understand why she would be against the unit leader swap literally calling herself an anti but I am excited to see what will come from it.
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For Mayoi & Rinne too, with their seemingly matching CGS & discussion of the Amagi village. Which, since HiMERU is on a bus, it would be exciting if they go to their hometown, but I am afraid of how they will handle it if that is the case—their track record has been… not good. Not egregious, but bad. So I am nervous, since people say this. I hope there will be no micro aggressions from the cast for 0 reason, sad as it is to have to say. It is realistic ignorance, but it doesn’t hold value at all, and there are real people with ainu blood who play the game. To anyone, really, it is uncomfortable to experience. The story itself is already rather anti-indigenous in it’s messages of them being backwards & something to escape from. But… I won’t be a pessimist because of it. They could be normal. In fact, it could even be sweet...
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There is so much potential for growth… it’s so brilliant. I’m excited, I am keeping my hopes up for this event. Despite the value of !! Era being lesser at times for preexisting units, & the fact they could have done better for the new units it brought to the table in the last 4 years, I’ve found everything so interesting nonetheless… the main story, the side pieces to go with it, obbligato, it is good. Speaking of obbligato; as I had said on twitter, “I’m actually really glad there seems to be no Kaname action because I would much rather it have been in a different big event or Crazy:B specific event to give him the focus he deserves & make it hurt more since there’s already so many characters to give focus to in alkakurei.” Some may not agree with this, but I love Kaname, and I am crazy. So I want it to be done right, for this reason, even if others would take any sliver they can get. I simply do not agree.
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I am still very happy with HiMERU’s 5☆. In love with it. Unfortunately he looks very cute, like a beautiful woman of some sort, with a cute tiny little blue sticker on his laptop that looks just like Kanamy…?! One may say Kohaku gave it to him. But he has eyed cute things in the past, in a store. His expression in the bloomed is very beautiful… it looks very authentic, not like the role of HiMERU he plays, but something more real from the depths of his soul. The Tojou within him, something unnamed yet real.
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I really love this Tatsumi card because he’s like we’ll resolve everything like we always do while looking so very frazzled. Distressed. I love when handsome young men are distressed. Things are happening to him, and he still sits so politely, so lady-like. It is wonderful. Tatsumimi.
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen Kohaku smile so wide. It’s so Mamaful, isn’t it? And who he is talking to is most definitely Hiiro, someone he had no connection to other than through his friends. It’s exciting.
AND THEN THE MV DROPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING THIS & I SQUEALED. NIKI & TATSUMI DUET. AMAGI HUG IN REALTIME. Aichan exuding her adorableness onstage like no other. The kohaku aichan highfive. The part with the lanterns and the shutting off of the artificial lighting, their stage illuminated with the love of their fans, the sweat dripping down their faces, the emotions in the songs! It’s amazing. It really killed me. I was not disappointed for a second. Mayoi, HiMERU, everyone else, were very cute. Aaahuuhhh…
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Hello! This is my intro post for this Blog! 🎄🕎
This post will cover the fandoms I’m in and what I post on here.
•DNI ❌•
Zoophiles, MAPs, Proshippers, Xenophobes, Racists and Homophobes/Transphobes
• INTERACT PLZ 🫶•
Fandoms of these types of media;
YTTD — I LOVE YTTD. ONE OF MY FIRST DEATH GAME HYPER-FIXATIONS. (KeiSara and KaiSara shippers, especially, DNI.) WOULD LOVE TO DIVE DEEPER INTO THIS GAME, BUT SPOILERS SO.
Amphibia — I love this show SO much! The dynamics between Sasha, Anne and Marcy are immaculate and play off of the frogs, toads and newts so well; you have to watch this show if you haven’t yet. This goes for the whole list BTW. ^^
Owl House — I love this show, but I feel less of a connection than Amphibia because I watched Amphibia first ;-; THE BEST thing about this show is the characters. Amity, Raine, Hunter, Luz and Gus are the best characters IMO.
Deltarune — OMIGOSH PLZ TALK TO ME DELTARUNE FANS. TELL ME ALL OF YOUR THEORIES AND HC’s. If you cannot tell, I love Toby Fox games. Especially this one. I am Noelle (real) /j. Love all of the characters in this game. Not one I don’t like. (Maybe King -7-)
LOVE UNDERTALE. Don’t think I have to say that since they’re probably connected, (sorry Toby i just don’t trust you when you say that they aren’t ;u;) I will post about Undertale when we get news relating to the game!
Walten Files — Woah, if you’re reading this part this probably means you at least know what this is. Yeah that analog horror videos on YouTube. Also TW if you watch this… Uhh, used to be really into this one, but my interest has faded. I will be all over TWF4 whenever it comes out, but until now I’ll be posting about it scarcely. (SOPHIE AND JENNY KINNIES I SEE YOU OUT THERE.)
Disventure Camp — YES, THIS IS BETTER THAN TDAS, TDPI AND TDA. And yes, that was my opinion ofc. Anyway, more about Disventure Camp… ALLY, TESS AND HUNTER ARE ALL IN A POLY-RELATIONSHIP. Again, my opinion, but it makes so much sense! I’ll ofc respect your opinions. Also Aiden and James all the way.
Also I will interact with some Total Drama content, but not heavily. (Dave, Cameron and Sky IRLS DNI.)
Danganrompa Another — SORA AND YOUROKO IS MY COMFORT SHIP. Respect to Weeby Newz (YT) for getting me into this amazing fangan. So much better than the Source material. I recommend this fan-game for everyone but HUGE TW for the first game and a even bigger one for the sequel. We all meme on Mitch here. (Anyone glorifying Mitch Higa without being ironic DNI)
Danganrompa Edens Garden — OOH THE PROLOGUE LOOKED SO GOOD. If you’re looking for a alternative from the problematic air around the Main Danganrompa games, look no further than this game. ME AND JETT DAWSON ARE LITERALLY DATING. but … if I can’t have him cause he’s not real … he can date Mark. BUT I WONT BE HAPPY ABOUT IT. /j (I’m also a MarkDawson shipper so <: )
Inanimate Insanity — POSSIBLY MY OLDEST AND FIRST HYPER-FIXATION?? Bright lights forever! Anyway,,, Plot and Pacing: 2nd Season. Quality: 3rd Season. Sorry not sorry, the First season is problematic and unfunny. Anyway Cabby can marry me. (/hj) This animated YouTube series is so good!
I also do like other Object Shows! BFDI and ONEhfj are some I love. the ones I will post about will probably II and TPOT
Dead End: Paranormal Park — I NEED THE BOOKS AHHH. Love this show for the amazing Rep alone. THAT ALSO GOES FOR THE OWL HOUSE AS WELL. The story is great. It’s somehow Realistic and Supernatural at the same time!!?!
Omori — I like this game! The story is intriguing and heartbreaking </3 My Omori phase is passing away, sadly.
More Info About me:
If you’ve scrolled this far, you prolly wanna know more.
I’m Gay (MLM) and use They/it/he pronouns ofc!
I’m into Graphic design and MIGHT be getting a vinyl sticker printer soon!!!
I draw on paper and IBIS Paint X. I do have a drawing tablet, however it’s difficult to set up, it doesn’t help that I have a pitiful dell computer that’s on the edge of deaths door ;^; xd
anyway, like just ask to talk! Always open to that. <3
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readingoals · 2 years
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Queenathon II Discussion Qs
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The second way you can join the Queenathon is discussion prompts! Each one is named after a song by Queen. You can respond to as many or as few of them as you like and I encourage you to respond in whatever way you want – simple text posts, photos, graphics, or even videos if you like. Have fun with it! These are ideal for people who don’t think they can complete a book during the 14 days but still want to participate, or anyone who just likes talking about books and reading habits. Below the cut is a more detailed list of the prompts.
Day 1: Coming Soon
It’s the start of the readathon so share what you’re hoping to achieve! A certain number of books or pages read? A single bingo or a full bingo board? Answering prompts and joining in conversations? Or maybe something like just reading a little each day after work?
Day 2: Liar
Has anyone ever recommended you a book you ended up hating? Or have you been so sure someone would love a book and then they didn’t? Has that influenced how you respond to recs or who you rec books to?
Day 3: I’m In Love With My Car
Thoughts on reading while traveling or commuting. Do you read on public transport or in the passenger seat of a car? Or does the very thought make you sick? What about listening to audiobooks while you drive?
Day 4: If You Can’t Beat Them Join Them
Have you ever picked up a book purely because people online (booklr/booktok/etc) were hyping it? If so, did you end up enjoying it? And if not, is there a particular reason you’re not inclined to? 
Day 5: Man On The Prowl 
Where’s you’re favourite place to buy books? Is there a nice bookstore near you that you like to pop into? Maybe a secondhand bookshop thats overcrowded and fun to rummage in? Or maybe theres an online store you like best? This is your chance to show them some love! 
Day 6: Life Is Real (Song For Lennon)
Thoughts on non-fiction? Is it something you read a lot of? Or something you don’t have much interest in? Or maybe something you’d like to read more of?
Day 7: Don’t Stop Me Now
This is the halfway point of the readathon! We’re a week in, so how are you going? Have you been enjoying the books you’ve chosen? Have you completed any of your goals? Celebrate your progress! 
Day 8: Procession
Tell us your thoughts on series! Do you read a lot or prefer stand-alone books? Do you prefer a series with only 2 or 3 books or something that goes on a bit longer? Will you start a series as soon as the first book catches your eye or do you hold off until at least a few have been released? 
Day 9: In The Lap Of The Gods....Revisited
How do you feel about re-reading books you’ve already read? Do you enjoy revisiting an old favourite? Or is there too many new books to even think about reading something twice? Has re-reading something changed your opinion of it? Are there any books you’ve re-read multiple times?
Day 10: Long Away 
Tell us about any books you’re looking forward to reading soon! Is there something yet to be published that you’re excited about? Or something you already own that you’re going to pick up next? 
Day 11: I Was Born To Love You
Are there any authors you consider “must-buys” or “must-reads”? Or maybe a particular book that you keep buying new editions of? 
Day 12: Dreamers Ball
If tomorrow a magician appeared and said he could conjure you the perfect place to read what would it look like? A sprawling Beauty and the Beast library? A cosy little nook with just the essentials for reading? This is your dream library or reading space, so don’t hold back, tell us what you wish for! 
Day 13: The Millionaire Waltz
Show us your latest book haul! Have you bought a few books in the last month? Or borrowed a stack from the library? Or have you bought yourself some sort of bookish items - literary funko pop vinyls or a book related puzzle or some cute fanart stickers?
Day 14: Was It All Worth It
Now that we’ve reached the end of the readathon tell us how you went! Did you complete any of the goals you set on day one? Give us a wrap up of what you read and how you went with your bingo board!
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the-wild-candy · 1 year
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Hello from another side of the world. First of all, thank you so freaking much for this detailed reading. The length makes me wonder if I perfectly reflected the energy in the reading I did for you so if you need another reading I’ll be able to help out! Also it’s worded and decorated so prettily my heart is just wow and I would like to learn this from you if I ever do paid readings in the future.
Next, I saw the Star again. I have this card in a couple of Pick A Card readings with my future spouse. It also came out in a reading I did about me and my FS. Last Saturday I also received a sticker of The Star from a convention attendee. It’s like… Fate. Healing. Hope. All these coming together. This is literally my favourite card in this reading because… I know I need healing and I’m working towards it. My therapist asked me if I’m in a relationship with anyone and I said no. She nodded and said that maybe cuz I’m also not in the right state for a romantic relationship yet. However, deep in me I really crave for somebody to pamper me unconditionally (I know the limits and will pamper them back with whatever I have). I suddenly feel so lonely and sad thinking that my entire life is me trying to gain approval from other people (except a few) and it’s just… Tiring… This is why The Star consoles me so much.
“Man of culture” and “no bullshit zone”. Bro there’s a place that I pass by almost everyday when I’m commuting to work that has the sign “This is a no bullshit zone” ahahahhaahahaha. Also man of culture. My Capricorn ass likes that a whole lot. As a Saturn dominant with a lot of Cap and 6 planets in my 10H, I dare say my life mainly revolves around work a lot and it comforts me when I’m stressed. Cus like… I can channel my energy to focus on work instead of personal problems. Which means, I’m gonna be interested or meeting someone at work and that will be changing my life, which is what Three of Coins can symbolize as well.
I’m also known to have burst of weird and bubbly energy and basically, people around me are okay with it. I’m not sure if anyone likes it but at least, no complaints for now. If there IS someone out there who likes this side of me then it’s literally the best and I just want to enjoy and explore the relationship with him. The intimacy part is also sweet cuz I would like to y’know, hold hands, lean on them and hug.
Fall for each other fast is also something I’ve heard before in past readings and this lol. Attraction is a difficult thing for me and everytime I’m attracted to someone, that someone is usually unavailable. I have a particular taste in men I think, successful, responsible and charming. The entire relationship is real just makes me wanna tear up because of how insecure I am. It’s like my next relationship I’ll have will be with my future spouse and it’s just… Beautiful.
Once again, thank you so much for this lovely and beautiful reading exchange. I appreciate it a lot.
This is such a lengthy feedback oml- thank you so much. I am so glad you liked the reading! You are one of the most talented readers I've met here. Literally, your interpretations are so accurate istg. Thank you so much for the feedback. God bless you. Stay hydrated and take care 🤍
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Wednesday, 4 October 2023:
Giddy Skelter Tim Kinsella and Jenny Pulse (Kill Rock Stars) (released 8 September 2023)
Earlier this year I rediscovered the label Kill Rock Stars when I bought Brian Dunne's Loser On The Ropes. This led to me getting on their mailing list and every Friday since May of this year I get a list of what Kill Rock Stars is releasing. I read about the albums, I even listen to various songs they provide links to and you know, I'm starting to think I could be interested in darn near anything.
Tim Kinsella and Jenny Pulse are both based in Chicago. Kinsella has been in any number of bands: Joan of Arc, Cap'n Jazz as well as recording under his own name while Pulse has recorded as Spa Moans. Together the couple has recorded under the charming moniker Good Fuck (sometimes known as Goof Duck) and released any number of albums (discogs claims they've released two while bandcamp offers up 14). This is their first album together performing under their own names.
Giddy Skelter is filled with tape loops, synths, computers, ambient noises and Pulse's dreamy voice (Kinsella sings lead a couple of times). I couldn't say what attracted me to it, but I'm glad that I take the time to listen to some of the nonsense these smaller labels put out.
Above is the album cover and the back of the album. I've no clue what the hell they are doing. I've seen any number of photos from this shoot yet at no time does anyone ever provide a photo showing what the devil Kinsella and Pulse hung up. And I think that the process is the point as opposed to the finished product. Which is the antithesis of Giddy Skelter because from my understanding the couple takes a song and molds it over time and it ends up completely different from what it started out to be, making the finished product the point instead of the process. Personally I think the back cover is the cooler of the two. For that matter, they could have just used the famous photo of Jagger with his face now melted by whatever form of photoshop they used. (And wouldn't you know it, this couple also paints under the name of Jenny Pulse and Ray Borchers. More talented people engaging in more than one medium.)
Below are the front and back of the insert that is enclosed with the album.
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Pressed on yellow vinyl that looks more orange to me in the photos (and in real life), you will see the standard two shots of the yellow vinyl below. This is limited to 500 copies.
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This is a close up of the hype sticker that adorns the album cover.
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Both sides of the record label can be seen below.
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destinyimage · 1 year
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Christian Witchcraft is Infiltrating the Church!
We are created in the image of God and we have an eternal spirit within us.
Often, ministries are not offering people the very supernatural life they were created for.
At 17 years old, I was hungover, and sitting on the beige cushioned pew of the Presbyterian church my parents attended. My eyes glazed over as I rested my head on my dad’s shoulder. I listened to the sermon, which was a deep theological study of some book in the Bible I had never heard of. As we stood up and half-heartedly sang, “Ancient of Days,” I counted down the minutes we could leave and head to the Golden Dolphin for the incredible Sunday lunch special and corn bread basket.
Unfortunately, this is a similar church experience for many Christians in America. They leave church and watch videos online of wrinkle-free, lip-filled, Louis Vuitton toting women sharing with great passion and excitement how they “manifested” their dream date with their dream guy. The gregarious content creator shares her “secrets” to the good life, the supernatural life, and all the young onlooker has to do is “think positively”! The bait seems pure and innocent enough. I mean, wouldn’t God want me to be a more positive person? There can’t be anything wrong with wanting to have vision, goals, and “decreeing” that I will be blessed, this will be the year I get my dream car, my dream spouse, my dream kitchen, my dream vacation, my dream…life.
I was 21 years old when I read the book, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. The title peeked my interest, and anyone who knows anything about psychology understands that we all want to know secrets. As I read each chapter rather quickly, it all made perfect sense to me. I was somewhat shocked that the BIG “secret” was basically gratitude and positive thinking.
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These “clues to manifesting your dream life” seemed simple enough. But alas, here I was, praying to the universe to manifest a white feather on a Monday afternoon. Then walking down 21st Street, right there on the pavement, there it was. A perfectly white feather. My faith in manifesting was building, and being the evangelist (by God-given nature) that I am, I began to buy the book for everyone I knew.
After some time, I began to positively thank in advance the “universe” for my $1,300 red-bottomed Christian Louboutin heels, my Louis Vuitton luggage, and dream vacations around the world. Distracted by all these glittering things, I had yet to realize that I was increasingly anxious, feeling more depressed, and had lingering thoughts and daydreams about walking into busy New York City traffic streets and ending my life. Totally normal! Deep sarcasm intended, yet this is how much of the next generation is thinking and being discipled through social media.
There is no warning label on New Age books, and the Church has been too silent on the issue. After attending church for nearly twenty-one faithful years, how had I never heard that there was indeed a very real and tangible spiritual realm surrounding us. That God has miracle-working power, that demons are real, and that the best life is not the one the world is promoting. I didn’t realize that the spiritual principles and laws that were created by God, were being demonically used against me to make myself a small god.
Witchcraft With a Jesus Sticker
Ok, I’ll repeat that for my charismatic friends, because there is a temptation that can also arise in churches to dabble in a little bit of witchcraft with a Jesus sticker on the package. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, don’t click out of this article! Don’t get mad, please!
Yet, we need to go there. The idols are coming down.
Read this carefully: We were not created to be gods, and the moment we begin decreeing, declaring, and using our faith to make our will be done, and not God’s will, we are opening ourselves up to the demonic.
I hate to write this so plainly, but it is that simple. It is so important to pray the Word of God and decree His promises. However, if we are not careful, this can easily get twisted into something very different. I particularly appreciate how Dr. David Yonggi Cho teaches on this topic in his book Fourth Dimension. We need to pray and ask God for His vision. We need a rhema word, we need faith for what God is doing. Then, that is when we pray, decree, believe, and have faith in God doing that very thing. It must be God’s plan first, not a carnal Christian version of our own plans.
I have recently been studying Romans 8 in-depth. It really hit me in verse 28 that says, “God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Sometimes you hear a verse so often that it kind of loses its “weight,” and you can read it passively without paying attention. Well as I read this verse, it hit me—all things work together for good when its according to His purposes, not our own. For years, I wrestled with why it felt like God was working things out for good in everyone’s life but mine. Here is a secret revealed, the golden ticket—we need to lay down our purposes for His, that’s when it all works together for good.
Discernment Filter
I never expected it to be this way, but the overturning of Roe v. Wade was another discernment filter for the days ahead. Years ago, I would play the “politically correct church game” in an effort to not be contrary or offensive. However, there is too much at stake, and too much murky water to be messing around with what sounds nice, but is destroying people’s lives.
On my social media account, I made a bold statement:
“Thank You, Jesus, for opening our eyes. Thank You for helping us see. If your pastor did not speak up about Roe v. Wade being overturned, you now have permission to leave that church.”
The reality is, there are too many people who are staying in dry places and wondering why they are constantly struggling. They are living in places to prioritize their comfort and routine over moving and finding others to burn with. The days are short, it is much better to find your people, to get equipped and be spiritually set on fire while you may need to live in a smaller home and sell your possessions. Do whatever it takes.
Obviously not everyone is called to relocate, leave their church, or change their jobs or ministries. Don’t hear what I am not saying. However, it is definitely the season to pray, fast, and get into the secret place with everything laid out before the Lord and say, “Here, God, I give You my heart, my possessions, my will, my future. What are You doing? How do I partner with You?” Then I encourage you to step out in faith and say, “Yes!” to God!
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boldlyvoid · 3 years
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Wheels Up
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Characters: Spencer Reid, Reader (Y/N), Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Savannah Hayes, Emily Prentiss, Elle Greenaway, Tara Lewis, Jennifer Jareau, Matt Simmons, Luke Alvez
Summary: JJ goes on maternity leave, Spencer falls in love with her replacement that he's supposed to be mentoring, Emily Prentiss and Elle Greenaway work a case together that brings Simmons and Alvez in for help...
Warnings: Genius!Reader, mutual pining, idiots in love, drinking, star gazing, lots of fluff, mentions of past assault, grooming, drug addiction, spencer's trauma, Abductions, Rape, Murder (typical canon violence)
word count: 9.4K
a/n: this is for @starry-eyed-spence and @simmonsmilf CM fanfiction week, Day One: Favorite Character... only I couldn't pick just one.
To say Spencer fell in love at the least opportune time was a bit of an understatement. Everyone he’s ever come close to admitting his love to has either left him or died. Now he’s stuck with loving someone in secret, keeping it to himself and hoping that one day she’ll love him back.
He fell in love with a co-worker once again… which wasn’t the worst thing, office romances happen and it’s quite frankly all Rossi’s fault that they even had to worry about fraternization policies. The part that makes liking Y/N so difficult is that he’s supposed to be her mentor, he’s 5 years older than her, and if he was to ever make a move she would feel inclined to reciprocate in order to keep her job because that’s the unfortunate truth behind office relationships with significant differences in positions.
And worst of all… she doesn’t like him that way at all. She’s called him the brother she always needed, a best friend, the best mentor ever. She wasn’t interested in him in the slightest.
“And why would she be?” He’s said this to everyone who knew about his crush on her. “I’m old and boring and she’s so cool?”
But he didn’t get it. He didn’t understand that every time she asked him to hang back to help her file something, or when they would buddy up in hotel rooms to discuss cases all night and end up down some star trek rabbit hole instead, every time he talked to her she was falling in love with him right back.
It once again all circles back to Rossi, if it wasn’t for him, Spencer wouldn’t even know her. She wouldn’t have ever been introduced to the unit, he wouldn’t be attached to her at the hip and he probably wouldn’t be as happy as he is with her in his life. Even if she wasn’t his girlfriend.
He’ll never forget the day Rossi asked him to meet her, to help her settle in…
“Spencer, can I talk to you for a minute?” Rossi called him into his office.
He sighed, putting his book down and walking up the stairs to his office. He closed the door behind himself and smiled awkwardly, “what’s up?”
“Sit,” he gestures to the chairs in front of his desk, where Spencer pulls one out and proceeds to sit down, anxiously. “As you know, both Kate and JJ will be out of the field in the next few months to have their babies and we need to bring someone in to fill the void until they return, so I reached out to the academy to see if they have any up and coming Dr. Reid like agents that they could loan us.”
“Why?” Spencer laughs at the choice of words.
“Well, honestly, why get new 2 agents when we could have two Reid’s? JJ will be back after a month or 2, it’s better to have more brains than brawn.”
“So they found someone and you want me to be their chaperone?” Spencer clues in. “Who are they?”
“Y/N Y/L/N, she’s a wonderful agent, but she’s pretty quiet, I don’t know much about her personally.” Rossi prefaces. “She’s a genius, high IQ like yours and just a plethora of knowledge inside that mind of hers. You’ll like her.”
“Alright,” he nods. “When do they start?”
“When JJ’s water breaks, but I’d like you to meet them and maybe even have them shadow you for a day?” Rossi asks, “I’ve actually arranged for you both to get dinner at a friend's restaurant?”
“Is this an arranged date or purely business? Don’t send me in there blind,” he worries. “I need at least a week's prep before I go on a date again.”
“It’s not a date, kid,” Rossi laughs. “She's just a lot like you were when I met you, and I know from watching you all these years that it’s not easy to do it alone, so can you just walk them through it?”
“Of course.”
That first dinner Rossi set up for them was more exquisite than either of them prepared for.
They spent the whole night discussing dissertations and their independent journeys through becoming a genius. He understood perfectly why Rossi and the Academy would think she was a lot like him, she was a genius, but she was awkward. It took a while for her to break out of her shell and open up, but by the end of the night, he already knew they were going to be friends.
“So,” she smirks, “would you mind telling me honestly how hard this job is?”
“Why?”
She sighs, “I’ve heard a lot about Thee Doctor Reid and how you were the youngest hired to the BAU and all the shit you’ve been through.”
“What are the rumours these days?” He awkwardly smiles back, rolling his eyes slightly.
“That you were brain dead in a cemetery from an overdose and yet you’re so smart you came back from the dead to kill the unsub and escape…” she looks more and more disappointed in the rumour as she tells it.
His tongue hits the roof of his mouth as he opens it to speak, making a tsk noise as he shakes his head. “Well, I did OD but it was the unsubs main personality that resuscitated me.”
“Holy shit,” she whispers.
He nods, “what about you? I’m sure you have a reputation based on a rumour?”
She presses her lips together the way he always did, just as awkward. She sighs, huffing the air out of her nose and looking fed up. “I was groomed and assaulted by an older boy who then told kids I had a stalkerish crush on him so if I was to ever tell anyone what happened, then no one would believe me.”
“I’m so sorry,” Spencer knows the words don’t make up for what happened. “I’m guessing that’s why you wanted to get into profiling?”
She nods, “I got away with some PTSD and trust issues, most girls go through much worse… they deserve someone who gets it to look into their cases.”
Spencer nods. “That’s how I felt after my kidnapping too. It took a while for me to look at crime scene photos and not think about how they felt, and wonder why I lived when so many die?”
“I’ve never been a religious person,” she prefaces. “But I do believe we are here for a reason. Whether you choseto be here after your last life or this is some learning opportunity, or God is actually real? And you’re supposed to do good.”
“In narcotics anonymous, they reference god a lot, it’s helpful for the addicts, but I never get into it,” he opens up with her more than he’s ever opened up with any friend. “If my Devine purpose is to suffer in order to relate to those I’m supposed to help that’s a load of bullshit… honestly, I can get pretty angry thinking about why I’ve gone through what I’ve gone through doing this job, but it’s not as bad as what happened to me growing up, and it leads me to believe that I probably wouldn’t have had an easy time no matter how I live.”
She nods, “I know, I get that.”
“Sorry,” he snaps out of it. “I didn’t mean to trauma dump on you.”
“It’s exactly what I asked for actually,” she reminds him with a soft smile. “If you can still come to work every day, after all that, you must be incredibly strong— and if I’m anything like you the way people say I am, I guess I can do it too.”
He had no idea she would end up being his best friend.
She shadowed him just once in the office, picked up everything right off the bat and immediately made a name for herself in the unit. Derek tried multiple names on her before one stuck, and they knew it stuck when even Hotch called her Baby Genius.
She brought a different knowledge base to the team, similar to Spencers but visibly younger. She fit in with the crowds of kids they had to interview, she understood why kids reacted the way they did to trauma and abuse, and she was still a kid at heart. It was the reason Spencer fell for her.
She allowed him to feel free again. They went out together outside of work, going to events he always wanted to go to with a partner but never had a chance. She loved all the same things as him, and she takes him to places he’d never imagine enjoying before her.
Like laser tag… that was an afternoon he’ll never forget with her.
When JJ went into labour, that’s when Y/N started full time and Hotch hired Tara Lewis in the same week. The team barely had time to adjust to being undermanned before they were restocked.
Joining Spencer every morning for every case, she waited out front of her apartment for him to pick her up most mornings, sticking to his side throughout the long days and nights until he drove her home again. Even at work, they were partnered up for everything: heading to the M.E. together, bouncing facts back and forth at the precinct, playing good cop bad cop with perverts, and her personal favourite… Making the geoprofile.
And Spencer liked doing that part with her as well. Because it typically meant they were completely alone in a room, spreading out a map and leaning in close to each other as they placed every sticker and marker. Brushing hands, bumping shoulders, longing glances as they made connections… he also just liked to watch her hands move.
She was delicate and careful and precise… and he was falling in love with everything about her as the days went by.
Everyone on the team had noticed. It was really hard not to when they’ve all known Spencer for almost 11 years now. He was so different with her in his life, he was happy and giddy and dressing even better than before. His hair was perfect and he was glued to Y/N’s side. Or she was glued to his.
Even though they were mentally similar, physically they were polar opposites. Y/N wore all black and was a lot more outgoing than they expected. Rossi thought she’d be quiet… But she was constantly talking. To Spencer, to other officers, to witnesses, she never stopped talking and starting conversations, and thank god she did because she’s cracked 4 cases that way.
The biggest surprise the team learned about her happened on a case in Florida, a shooting in a local park in broad daylight with lots of witnesses meant the whole team was on the boardwalk asking questions. She went out to do her thing, talking to the local skaters, asking them if they knew anything but they didn’t want to cooperate.
They were too cool for the feds.
“Can I see your board?” She asks, “if I do some tricks will you answer some questions for me and Doctor Reid?”
“Knock yourself out,” one of the boys laughs as he hands her his board.
She hands Spencer her gun and shoots him a wink before taking off to do a few tricks. The whole team watches in awe then as Y/N showed off. Cruising along the halfpipe effortlessly like she was a professional.
“Okay Tony Hawk,” Morgan teases her, “where did that come from?”
“Skateboarding is easy, it’s just physics,” she shrugs. “I can figure skate too…”
“What do you want to know?” The boy takes his board back. “We always see some sketchy guys around here.”
Morgan pats Y/N on the back with a smile, applauding her ability to get anyone to open up before leaving her to take the statement.
“Agent?” One of the girls pulls her aside just before they are about to leave, “how did you do that kickflip? I’ve been trying to learn and the boys won't help me.”
“Sure thing,” she takes the girl's board and demonstrates a kickflip first.
“So, you see as I start the kickflip I bend my knees?” She shows her another kickflip all while explaining it. “Much like the with an ollie, I’m building pressure so I can apply it to the tail, making the board pop. The one thing that makes this trick different from the ollie is that instead of sliding my foot up, I just flick my toe out to the right of the board, by doing this, the board flips in a 360-degree motion.
She demonstrates again and it’s another flawless kickflip, and a huge smile on her face as Spencer watches her.
“How fast the board spins depends on how much force I put into it when I flick it out. As soon as the board flips in a full 360, your feet should connect and drive the board back to the ground.”
She hands the board back to the girl, “your turn.”
She takes a deep breath and shakes her nerves out before taking off on her board, looping around and carefully bending her knees, she follows every step and it’s a flawless kickflip.
“Flawless!!” Y/N claps. “Those boys better watch out, you’re a natural.”
“Thank you,” she wraps her arms around Y/N and gives her a hug, “it’s taken me so long to be able to do that, you’re so cool.”
“You’re welcome,” she smiles. “Good luck out there.”
She waves as she takes off on her board, leaving Y/N with a smile as she turns to Spencer. “I miss being that age and thinking everything is so cool.”
“You are really cool,” he agrees. Smiling softly as a blush fills his cheeks. “You’re always surprising me. Is there anything you can’t do?”
She laughs, “yeah the one thing I want to do the most.”
“Which is?”
She sighs, “maybe I’ll tell you someday.”
He’s sitting beside Penelope and Savannah, watching Derek and Y/N get drinks for what’s left of the group as the night drags on.
“When are you going to tell her?” Savannah asks.
“What?” Spencer pretends he doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
“You have a crush on the new girl…” she pokes his cheek as he blushes and gives it away. “Tell her, what’s the worst that can happen?”
“She could feel forced to say yes because I’m a supervisory special agent and she isn’t and she wants to keep her job so she feels like she needs to,” Spencer worries. “I want her to like me back because she fell for me and I want her to initiate it because then I’ll know it’s not just a power dynamic issue.”
“Have you tried asking her, genius?” Penelope teases. “Because if you asked her then you’d know she has a crush on you and she’s afraid you’ll turn her down because you’re an SSA and she isn’t.”
“When did you hear that?”
Penelope pretends to lock up her lips and throw away the key, making Savannah laugh loud enough to get Derek's attention at the bar. When he and Y/N return, that’s when the questions start.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing,” Spencer gets up and leaves the booth, walking out towards the smokers' exit at the back of the bar, getting a moment of semi-fresh air to think about what Penelope said.
“Spence?” She calls to him from the door, “are you okay? Can I come out here?”
“Yeah,” he nods. “Sorry, I needed some air, it’s nothing.”
“Do you need a hug? I read it helps the most when people are stressed out,” she plays it off with a shrug.
“So you do have a crush on me?”
“She told you?” Her face lights with fury, “what the fuck, Penelope?”
“She didn’t mean to,” he tries to cover it up. “It was only brought up because I have feelings for you as well.”
Her eyes widen, her brows raise and her mouth slowly opens as she freezes.
“Y/N?”
She blinks a few times and shakes her head, “impossible. There’s no way.”
He laughs, “I’ll take that hug now?”
She lunges for him and wraps her arms around him so tight. Breathing him in, her hands wander his back as she takes in every second if it and he does the same. He can’t believe she’s that close to him, her hair smells nice and she’s so soft in his arms.
It’s quiet outside, they can hear the music behind the door, the people in the ally talking and the crickets in the night. It’s just them outside, holding each other in the smoking section with smiles on their faces, amazed that it’s finally happening.
“Can we keep this between us?” She whispers into his ear. “Just for a bit? I don’t want to go through all the paperwork and have to separate in the field if it doesn’t work out?”
“Wait,” Spencer pulls back. “Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?”
She nods, “well yeah isn’t that what happens when two people have a mutual crush? They date?”
“Okay,” he smiles, staring at her lips and then flicking his gaze back to hers with a blush. “I have more than a crush on you, I really, really like you.”
“Prove it,” she teases, “let's go on a real date soon?”
“You know what, let’s get out of here. I have something I want to show you,” he takes her hand and waits for her to nod.
“Take my lead okay? You don’t feel good and you’re going to wait outside while I say goodbye,” she has a plan right away
“After you,” he holds the door open for her and lets her inside first.
“I’m taking Spencer home, he’s not doing well,” she’s a much better actress than Spencer expected, patting his back and watching him leave the bar before her like she asked him to do. “He’s really anxious?”
Penelope looks worried, “oh no, I fucked up. I told him you like him.”
She just shrugs, “if he didn’t know that already then I guess he’s not as smart as he pretends to be.”
“See,” Derek looks at Savannah. “I told you everyone else also thinks he’s faking being that smart.”
“Shut up,” she shoves him and turns her attention back to Y/N. “Go make him feel better, he’ll like your company.”
“I’ll see you guys at work on Monday,” she waves them goodbye, surprised they bought it as she rushes her way back outside to Spencer.
He’s already in his car, engine running and waiting for her with a smile. “Come on,” he hurries her inside and is taking off down the road before she even has her seatbelt on yet.
“What’s the rush, Spence? It’s only 1 in the morning I’m sure tones of places are open still?” She teases.
“You’re going to like this, I used to go here all the time when I started with the bureau,” he explains, leaving the main road to take a back root, and eventually they’re driving on gravel.
“If you’re taking me here to murder me this is a dumb way to do it because they all know I left with you,” she teases. “At least when you go to get rid of me, do yourself a favour and dig 6 one-foot holes instead of one 6 foot hole…”
He laughs, “would you really give your murderer tips?”
She nods, “my goal would be to piss him off so much he either lets me go or murders me quickly. I don’t want to go through all the pain.”
“It’s not fun, that’s for sure,” he shrugs it off but she knows it hits too hard.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, reaching her hand out for his to hold by the gear shift. “I think you’re like the strongest guy in the world, you know that, right?”
“Why?” He asks as if that's a preposterous thing to say.
“I think if I got kidnapped and tortured at 24 I wouldn’t still be working in the FBI,” she admits. “I barely made it through the academy, I know this job is intense but I don’t think I could handle being in that situation.”
“If it’s up to me,” Spencer squeezes her hand tighter and brings it to his lips for a kiss. “You’ll never experience anything like that.”
He’s so good at making her feel safe that she almost believes he has the power to do that. He would do anything and everything to move fate for her safety.
He turns down another back road then, around the edge of a lake and towards a clearing. He follows old tire tracks and parks by the dock. “I found this spot one night on a random drive to clear my head.”
“I thought you hated driving?” She quizzes him.
He shrugs, “I like to drive at night when no one else is on the road because then I don’t really have to worry about anyone else. I hate driving because I can’t always anticipate other drivers' movements. If I could read minds, then I’d drive more.”
“Valid,” she nods, “now why is this such a special spot that you needed to show me right away?”
“Well, I have a telescope and it’s been in my trunk for the last 13 years so that every time I come here, I can look up at the moon…”
“You brought me here to look at the moon with you?” She swoons, “that’s so cute.”
“You think?” He looks like his heart is doing the same swelling as hers.
She gets out of the car before she can lean over and kiss him the way she wants to. In his trunk, he does have a telescope, and a blanket, which they set out on the dock and sit upon.
The sound of the lake, the loons in the distance, frogs and crickets and music travelling from somewhere down the lake. The moon was big, the stars were amazing, and this was the closest she has ever seen them. It's amazing, and of course, it was Spencer showing her everything.
He was everything to her.
And it didn’t take long for him to become everything to her either.
Joining the BAU was a dream to many at the academy, but Y/N never thought that she would get the job, overjoyed that she did. They were a family unit; they got the job done, they protected each other, and it was a wonderful environment to be a part of. She obviously liked Spencer the most out of everyone. He took her in, he made her feel comfortable and safe and she opened up more with him than she has with anyone she’s labelled a “best friend” in the past.
She liked everything about him. The way he talked with his hands, how his sweater, vest, shirt and tie always match, his gun looks a little out of place on his belt, like it’s too big for him, but it’s cute. His hair’s been getting longer too, sometimes he wears glasses and sometimes if she’s lucky, he doesn’t shave every day.
She can’t take her eyes off him when he’s busy and won't notice, just to then move her focus away when he stared at her. She only wishes she could see the way he stares at her in awe, because if it’s anything like how she looks at him, he must love her.
She keeps her hand in his, trading the telescope back and forth in turns, her face was close to his every time they switched and she kept getting bolder with each exchange. Letting Spencer look, she kept her face close to his, kissing his cheek softly as soon as he was busy peering up at the moon.
He turned to her with a gasp, “what was that for?”
“You’re cute,” she shrugs. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while.”
“How long?” He teases, leaning in closer and kissing her nose to make her laugh.
“Since you dropped me off at my house after that first dinner…”
“So this is me,” she nods out the window, “thank you for the ride, I appreciate not having to be in an Uber all by myself.”
“Anytime you need a ride, you can give me a call?” He asks. “Seeing as we’ll be going to the same place anyway.”
She nods with a smile, “I’d love that, do you live close to here?”
“Just up the street,” he nods. “So we could carpool?”
“I can drive some days if you want?” She asks, “I know you mostly take the subway, and I know that because I’ve seen you reading on there before.”
He can’t help but smile, “so you never thought to say hello?”
“No,” she shakes her head, “you looked peaceful, and I’m sure you don’t get many moments like that in your line of work.”
He sighed, knowing she was right. “If it ever gets to be too much for you, please never feel like you have to pretend to be okay? None of us expect you to be stone cold, none of us are either. The job gets to us, just tell me if it gets to be too much?”
She looks from his lips back to his eyes and over again, “thanks, Spencer.”
He does the same to her, “anytime. Should I walk you to your door?”
She shakes her head, “that’s okay you’ve done enough for me tonight.”
“Fair enough,” he laughs. “Have a good night Y/N.”
“You too, Spencer,” she smiles before she exits his car, smiling at him from her porch before he drives away.
“So it’s been mutual this whole time?” He shakes his head at the absurdity. “I’ve been so lonely for so long and then I found you and you make me feel like I don’t need to be alone anymore.”
“You complete me too,” she makes one more comment before connecting their lips.
It’s like the world stops then. It’s silent and serene and everything she thought kissing Spencer Reid would be.
She pulls back with a smirk, “oh no.”
“What?” He worries.
“I’m going to want to kiss you all the time now…”
“Good,” he mumbles the words against her lips before reconnecting them.
At work on Monday, it’s very hard for them to look at each other without remembering that they’ve kissed. Spencer’s practically glowing with admiration for her that he gives it all away. He’s overly happy, offering to do things for others, standing way too close to her and bringing her coffee all morning.
“Okay, pretty boy,” Derek takes him by the scruff of the neck and redirects him into his office. “What’s going on with you today, I know you’re not this happy for JJ’s return?”
“What do you mean?”
“Did you get laid or something?”
Spencer laughs, “no, you know I don’t get laid. You actually remind me of that fact quite often.”
“You’re so happy I’m worried you’ve moved to crack,” he says it. “Okay, you were acting weird on Friday, you missed brunch on Sunday and now you’re waaay too happy.”
“I’m not on drugs again,” Spencer assures him. “I’m just letting myself enjoy my time with Y/N, if she falls in love with me in the meantime that would also be nice.”
“Oh, so you’re doing this to get laid,” Derek teases him again. “That’s good, I’m sorry if I triggered you by asking, but I had to make sure you’re okay.”
“No, no,” he places his hands on Derek's shoulders, “thank you for caring.”
“Always—“
“Guys!” They hear Hotch yelling from the bullpen, cutting the tender moment short, saving Spencer from spilling the truth.
Rushing back, he sits beside Y/N at the briefing room table. “We have a bad one,” Emily Prentiss of all people walks in the door, followed by Elle Greenaway.
“We’ll have time to mingle in a minute, right now there is a woman who needs our help,” he announces.
Spencer quickly reads over the case files, recognizing Elles handwritten notes, she was a private investigator now. “With Penelope’s help, I’ve been able to set up alerts in College chatrooms in the area so that I can help to missing and assaulted women right away.”
“She’s alerted when someone reports a missing woman and she has advertisements for people to reach out to her for help,” Penelope explained.
“I’ve been working on these cases for the last 9 years,” Elle announces. “This morning Aasia Desai called me saying her sister Bahni never showed up for lunch and it’s not like her, we know she went clubbing last night and so far Penelope’s tracked her down an ally and then she’s gone.”
“Her parents are British diplomats so Interpol has asked me to join, luckily I was just in Ontario so it was a short trip over,” Emily adds. “JJ will be here in half an hour for her first day back, and we will celebrate when we can, but I see we have some new faces here?”
“Special Agent Y/N Y/L/N,” she waves, still glued to Spencer’s side. “I’ve heard a lot about you both from Doctor Reid.”
“Doctor Tara Lewis,” she stands and shakes Emily’s hand, and then Elles.
“So it says here that the first missing case was in 2006 just after you left the BAU?” Spencer changes the subject before anyone can pry into why he would be telling her about the women who worked there before her.
“I did,” Elle nods. “I was too late for her, by the time her parents realized she was missing and called me in the case was cold. I started this as a way to get ahead of it.”
“How long has she been missing?” Tara asks.
“She was last seen at 1:07 this morning,” Elle confirms. “We have 25 hours, maybe, to beat the odds.”
“Reid,” Hotch cuts in, “I would like you and Elle to go check out the street she was last seen on, find any private cameras or anyone who might have seen something.”
He turns to Y/N who just shrugs in silence; “it’s fine.”
“Tara and Derek, I’d like you to interview Aasia when she and JJ get here, Garcia can you do a deep dive into Bahni’s spending and academic records?”
“Sure thing,” she starts clicking away on her computer immediately.
“And Y/N,” Elle looks at her. “I need you to go over the footage of the man who followed her to the alley and get familiar with his face. We’re using you as the face of the investigation to hopefully draw the unsub out.”
“How would she be able to do that alone?” Spencer gets defensive, a way he used to with JJ when she was the media liaison.
“If she goes on the news and makes Bahni seem like a person while describing the unsub as someone who can help solve the case, it will draw him out,” Emily explains for Hotch, who is glaring at Spencer for second-guessing the plan already.
“And she’s college-age,” Elle adds. “If that’s who he’s been going after all this time he will want to come in and talk IF he can talk to her.”
She places her hand on his leg under the table, “it’s a good plan.”
“It is,” Hotch agrees.
“What do you not have a saying to replace wheels up when they stay in town?” Elle teases him.
“Wheels away?” Emily joins her, “that works?”
“just get to work,” Hotch tries not to smirk at them.
Spencer stands up to leave with Elle, “can I just talk to Spencer before he leaves?” She carefully asks Hotch.
“Make it quick,” he agrees reluctantly and lets her follow him down to his desk.
Spencer rests his hands on the back of his desk chair, holding it tightly in an attempt to calm himself down.
“I’m going to be fine,” she assures him. “I don’t think the guy on the tape took her, we’d see him leave if he did.”
“Unless he lives in the alley,” Spencer combats. “Can you ask Penelope to do a background check on all the cars coming in and out of the campus and that street between midnight at 2 am?”
She nods, placing her hand on his gently. “Good luck out there, okay?”
He nods, “it’s been 2 days they’re going to know by the end of the week.”
She laughs, “so be it.”
He says fuck it right then and there, wrapping her up in a hug and kissing the top of her head as the team watches in the briefing room. “I’ll see you later.”
“Yes you will,” she smacks his side as he lets her go. “If you’re going to make a scene at least give me a real kiss.”
“Hmm,” he teases. “No cause then I’d have to sign some paperwork and I’ve got to go…” he starts to back away.
“Coward,” she teases.
He just shrugs, meeting Elle by the door and heading towards the elevators in silence.
She doesn’t ask, not even when they get to the garage or inside the SUV. They’re driving down the road for maybe 2 minutes when Elle finally brings it up. “So—”
“What do you want to know?”
“It's that easy now? What happened to you?” She teases. “You’re so different from the baby Spence I left.”
“Well you missed my drug problem, my dad being a possible child molester, getting shot in the knee, getting shot in the neck, my girlfriend dying, and now my mom might have Alzheimer's so you know… I had to grow up a bit,” he lays it all out for her to ask any question she wants.
“Why don’t you ever call me? I would have been there for you through anything,” she reminds him.
“I know that,” he reaches over for her hand, “thank you. But I was a big fan of suffering in silence… and now I have Y/N and she makes me feel normal?”
“That’s good, you deserve some fraction of normal in your life and she’s really cute,” Elle smiles back at him before returning her focus to the road. “How old is she?”
“27,” he smiles. “She’s the best.”
“You love her,” Elle notices it.
He presses his lips together to fend off a smile as he nods, “I think I do.”
“Tell her, you deserve to hear that someone loves you back.”
She’s anxiously tapping her foot as she waits for the elevator to arrive with the suspect, Rossi standing just behind her. Only 15 minutes after being on the news, the man that was in the security footage contacted them. Making his way over for a voluntary interview.
He looks Y/N up and down with a smile, “I heard you were looking for me.”
“I sure was,” she plays along with it, smiling and making him think she’s interested as well. “I knew you’d get the message, we just need all the help we can get right now.”
“Of course,” he has his ego stroked so well that they can roll with it.
“Would you mind coming with me and Agent Rossi to talk about everything you saw?” She batts her lashes at him, really selling it.
“Sure,” he follows them down the hall.
Rossi opens the door and lets them in first, letting her get him settled and a glass of water. “So you can tell me everything from that night?”
“Sure,” he nods, explaining his taxi job, his run for the night and his alibi.
“So why did you step back into the doorway?” She asks as she sits in front of him. Straight-faced as she catches him off guard.
“Excuse me?”
“You stepped out of the way to let her pass and then followed her, she made no motion to say she wanted your services, so I’m just wondering why you would follow her before she disappeared?”
“Huh,” he suddenly feels played and his personality switches. “I thought this was just a chat?”
“I’m simply asking you questions? If you don’t have answers that makes you suspicious. An innocent person would have given me an answer,” she fights back.
“She’s right, you got very defensive very fast,” Rossi finally speaks up.
He shakes his head with a huff. “I was going to ask if she needed a ride, she looked pretty messed up. And then some guy came over and wrapped his arm around her and they walked off. They seemed to know one another. I thought she was safe in his hands.”
Only his tone doesn’t match the words. He sounds jealous— It’s not like she would have been a large tab, he wasn’t jealous because he lost a customer. No, he’s jealous like someone stepped in and prevented him from snatching an easy victim.
“Fair enough,” she pretends to believe him. “Thank you for your cooperation.”
“I can go now?” He changes right back to confused.
She nods, “I’ll escort you down if you’d like?”
“Thanks,” he stands and follows her to the door where Rossi stops her.
“Are you sure?”
She nods, “I’ll be back up shortly.”
She catches up with him by the elevators, “did you have to drive far to get here?” She makes small talk.
“Not really,” he shakes it off. “I like your necklace.”
She touches her necklace and her face drops, “thanks.”
“Necklaces are my favourite.”
“You don’t wear any?” She notices in the form of a question.
He shakes his head as the elevator opens at the ground level. “I think they’re nice gifts.”
She nods along, pretending that didn’t set off every ret alert and alarm in her mind, “well here you are. Thanks again for all the help.”
“No problem,” he goes to leave, turning to stop and block the doors from closing. “If you want, later tonight I can show you everything I saw at the alley?”
“Yeah, sure,” she agrees with no plan to go.
“8 pm? At Cafe Linda?”
“See you then,” she agrees and he steps back letting the door close and then she loses her cool.
Feverishly smashing the floor 6 button, and begging to make it back up to Hotch to tell him everything. But she also just wants to cry but she holds it in as she makes it to their floor matching past Rossi and right into the briefing room.
“He may not be our unsub but that man is a creep,” she announces. “He not only complimented my necklace but he asked me to come to the alley tonight so he can walk me through what he saw.”
“You’re not going,” Hotch announces.
“I didn’t plan to,” she snaps. “I think we need to look into him because he’s either giving little girls necklaces to keep them quiet or he’s taking necklaces after he kills women.”
“Kathy’s parents said she was in a necklace when she went missing,” Emily adds. “His connection to this case and being at NYU right before she went missing gives us enough probable cause for a search warrant.”
Hotch sighs, “fine. I’ll call a judge, you and Y/N can go and search his place.”
“So shouldn’t we arrest him before he leaves the building?” Morgan asks.
“He’s still in the garage, I’ve let the security know to stop him and arrest him at the gate,” Garcia adds, listening in and planning in advance.
“Thank you,” Hotch smiles at her, “you’re always reading my mind.”
Garcia smiles back at him, “always, sir.”
“Okay, let’s go,” she looks at Emily and waiting for her to turn to leave the room.
“Let’s,” she motions for Y/N to take the lead and follows.
The drive to his house is so weird… she doesn’t quite know how to talk to Emily, knowing only slightly about her and her knowing nothing about Y/N.
“So how long have you and Spencer been dating?” Her first question just gets right to the point.
She laughs awkwardly, “3 days…”
“Oh…”
She hums as she nods along, looking out the window and avoiding Emily’s eye contact. “It’s new, we’re both pretty infatuated with each other but we’re taking it slower than most people because I’m afraid to let my feelings change how I do the job.”
“Makes sense,” Emily replies. Her voice is so sweet, she has an aura of calm that follows her and lets Y/N feel safe. She gets why Spencer said she was his best friend on the team before her.
“The necklace comment… why did it make you so wary of this guy?”
“When I was in middle school a guy gave me a necklace while he was grooming me,” she whispers. Looking out the window and pretending it doesn’t bother her now. “It’s fine, I don’t have it anymore, but I knew this guy had that same vibe.”
Emily put her hand out, letting Y/N interlock their fingers and hold it. “I know I just met you, but you’re family now. I’m here if you’re ever suddenly not fine with it anymore…”
“Thanks,” she smiles. “Let’s get this fucker.”
By the time the warrant went through, Spencer and Elle had joined them to search the first suspect's house while Emily left to help the rest of the team with suspect two. Tracking all the license plates in the area like Spencer suggested lead them to a Chinese food delivery driver in the area.
That didn’t stop Y/N from destroying her suspect's house. They tore the house apart, searching every nook and cranny for any answer that would make sense. She was tempted to lift the floorboards up, call in SCSI to run ground-penetrating radar and search the fucking walls if they had to.
But then she found it.
A small metal box in the laundry room contained some tools and when she lifted up the fake bottom, she found 5 necklaces.
“Elle!!” She yelled through the house.
They both came running down the hall to her, “is this Kathy’s necklace?”
“Oh my god,” she whispered with a nod.
“I want to kill this guy,” she mumbles under her breath as she places the necklaces back in the box and closes it up.
“Spencer doesn’t need another girl he has a crush on to murder someone and get kicked out of the bureau,” Elle teases.
“What?” Y/N asks.
“Way to go,” Spencer nudges her.
Y/N stands up with the box and slides it into a large evidence bag before taping it up. “I guess he has a type then.”
“I don’t,” Spencer tries to cover up. “I mean, if I do then it’s people who are nice to me…”
She smiles at him, unable to even pretend to be jealous or mad. “It’s hard to be mean to you when you’re so cute.”
“Ew,” Elle announces her disgust as she leaves the room.
“Let’s get out of here before I end up kissing you in a murderer's laundry room,” Spencer teases, taking her hand and leading her out of the house as the rest of the forensics team takes over the bagging of evidence.
“Guys,” Elle rushes back to them with her phone pressed to her ear. “We have a bigger problem than we thought with Bahni.”
They rush into the SUV, putting the team on the speaker to hear the most unthinkable. “So I did what Y/N suggested and searched every single driver coming in and off-campus and the last street she was seen on,” Penelope explains back. “And I came across a man who was delivering Chinese food under the name Tom Larson… and it’s ironic his name is tom because he has a plethora of peeping offences and general creepiness alongside a metric shit-ton of abuse from his dad and dead mother.”
“Okay?” Elle follows.
“Tom Larson lives near Bahni,” Emily explains, “I was just at his house where I found him and his father had been murdered.”
“So we have not 1 but 3 creeps in this case, and none of them are who took Bahni?” Spencer rubs his eyes. “Please tell me we know who was in Tom’s car last night.”
“That’s where it gets tricky,” Penelope says with the doles tones of keys clicking behind her words. “We were just contacted by the fugitive Taskforce because they believe one of the murderers they’ve been tracking took Bahni… but he has ties to a much larger scale global sex trafficking ring.”
Elle flies through the streets with their lights on, pulling back into headquarters and right up to the security check. “So who is this guy?”
“Once you get back up here, Agent Simmons and Alvez will explain everything,” Hotch confirms. “I’m taking Derek to see Cruze, we need to tell him what’s going on.”
“Sounds good,” Elle hangs up and throws the SUV in park.
Y/N hesitates, staying put and taking a few breaths as Spencer watches. Elle’s left the car and is already on her way to the elevator. “What’s wrong?”
“Can I just have a hug real quick?”
“Yeah,” he wraps his arms around her and holds her close. “Are you okay?”
She nods against him, “yeah it’s just good to have at least 8 hugs a day.”
“Hug me whenever you need to,” he whispers against her hair, kissing the side of her head before she pulls back.
“Kisses are helpful too?”
He smiles, leaning in and pressing his lips to hers, mumbling against them, “how many?”
She hums, “10?”
He pecks her lips 10 times and counts each one, making her giggle, it takes so much effort to hold her smile back to keep kissing him but she feels much better.
“Thank you,” she beams and she can swear Spencer's eyes sparkle as he smiles back.
She pulls him into another hug, “I hate that we have to go catch a killer right now.”
“Come on then, as soon as we get him we can go on another date somewhere?”
She shakes her head, “after this case I think we should take a nap together… I’m exhausted and I don’t want to let you go.”
Spencer shakes his head in amazement, “you really like me?”
“Yeah, maybe I do,” she teases him. “You should get used to it because it’s only going to get more intense and I will smother you with love.”
He just shrugs, “it’s about time—“
They’re startled with a knock on the window, “we get it you’re in love, can we go now?”
“Sorry!” Y/N calls back with a giggle, pulling him in for one last kiss before getting out. Spencer follows with a deep blush that everyone will see when they get back upstairs, but it looks cute on him.
Luke Alvez has been trying to catch one criminal for the last 2 years. Simon Garrett has been a pain in the ass for the FBI, the CIA and DEA. He first showed up on their radar when his DNA was found on 14 women’s remains, all of who had been missing for at least 5 years.
His DNA was then traced to his son in the foster system, who’s been off the radar for the last 10 years. Everette Garrett.
“Now he’s interesting because I’ve been investigating his sex trafficking ring between Canada and the United States,” Matt adds. “All 14 women his father's DNA was found on were thought to be in his ring, which means when they get too old he hands them to his father to take care of.”
Y/N shakes her head as she listens, “so if you’ve been looking for them for this long what makes you think we can find them in time to save Bahni?”
“We’ve been tracking him for a while, we knew that he had a new girl on his radar and when we heard it was Bahni Desai we knew it was time to get you guys,” Matt explains.
“So far we know that she has to be taken to this warehouse in Alexandria before she goes any further, we’re going to intercept them before they make it to the warehouse and then use their car to gain access to take the whole thing down,” Luke rolls out a map of the facility then.
“We need to have the place surrounded for any runners, SWAT is getting prepped, we’re going tonight at 3 am,” Matt adds. “Morgan, Hotch, Prentiss, Alvez and Myself will be running a team at each of the 5 exits. Once inside, each team's swat unit will deploy gas to carefully knock everyone out, from there we need someone to cuff everyone at least until we know who is a victim and who is working there.”
“We’re taking everyone alive?” Spencer makes sure he hears them right.
“We need to know what the step after this warehouse is if we want to rescue more victims,” Luke’s voice is gentle yet stern as he explains. “I’ve seen this man take too many women from good homes and ruin their lives, I’m not letting him slip out of my fingers.”
“We’ve had this planned for months, we just needed to wait for the next confirmed drop-off.”
“Who’s driving?” Y/N asks, having a feeling it was her and Spencer.
“He’s Reids age,” Hotch announces from the door as he walks in with Cruze, “so we’ll replace Everette with Reid and Bahni with Y/L/N.”
“Rossi and Elle will be there to apprehend Everette, we’re setting up a fake traffic spot to irritate him and inhibit him from running. You two will be in a duplicate car arriving at the warehouse at the arranged time,” Emily confirms. “We just have to prep SWAT and then we can leave.”
“Alright, let’s get ready.”
Pretending to be kidnapped in the back of a car driven by her boyfriend was possibly the weirdest way to spend a Tuesday morning. Driving the exact make and model as their unsub, her heartbeat was loud enough to cover the sound of the engine and distract her from the long drive. She was overly anxious, and rightly so, it was her first sting.
And she was doing it all without coffee. Tired but full of adrenaline, she wanted to close her eyes and drift off but she knew she needed to be ready to apprehend the men at the gate with Spencer.
She feels the large bump, indicating they just went over a speed bump and she knows what that means. The car slows and she can hear the muffled talking before swat steps in, soon enough Spencer is cracking the trunk open and reaching in for her.
“Are you okay?” He helps her to her feet and makes sure her bulletproof vest is on right before handing her, her gun and watching her clip it on.
“Yeah, what happened?”
“The guards are down, Swat moved in as soon as we arrived, now we have to stand here and wait for them to clear the building,” Spencer explains as they walk to the front of her car.
She draws her gun and keeps it pointed low, guarded as they watch the front entrance for anyone to escape. “Do you know if Bahni is okay?” She whispers towards him.
He nods, “they radioed in that they got her, she’s being airlifted to the hospital with JJ right now.”
She nods with a deep breath, “okay good.”
“It’s going to be fine, we have enough SWAT here to take the government,” he tries to joke, getting a laugh from one of the officers… very strange to see someone laugh while holding an assault rifle.
One of the swat side steps towards Spencer, “I’m hearing on the line that they’ve cleared every room. They’re cuffing everyone, you’re free to enter.”
“Thanks,” Spencer replies.
The high-pitched screech rubber gripping asphalt in an attempt to stop draws their attention backwards. Elle and Rossi jumping out with their guns drawn, ready to join even though the exciting part is long over.
“No runners?” Elle asks, holstering her weapon. “Aw man, I was excited.”
“Not a one,” Y/N adds, watching the front entrance for the rest of the team to start funnelling out with the unsubs.
Luke exits first with a big smile on his face, Simon Garrett cuffed and barely stumbling out the door in front of him. He finally got him.
“well done,” Elle congratulates him. “Let me help you get him in SWAT van.”
“I think she has a thing for Luke,” Rossi leans into Y/N to gossip. “she wouldn’t stop asking about him on the drive…”
“Ooo,” Y/N teases, getting more and more tired as her adrenaline drops. Her eyes are heavy and Rossi can tell.
“Why don’t I bring you and the good doctor home, I don’t think they need all of us for the wrap-up,” Rossi pats her back. “You’ve had a long night, kid.”
“Thank you,” she smiles, holstering her gun and turning with him towards the SUV. “I’m so exhausted.”
“Well you’ve been on the job for almost 24 hours now, you’ve officially made it through your first overnight sting op,” Rossi congratulates her like he’s her grandpa.
She turns back when she doesn’t hear Spencer following her, “Spence? Are you coming?”
“Um,” he has something to ask as he follows then but he doesn’t say it. “Yeah, sorry.”
“It’s okay, come sit with me in the back?” She asks, sliding in beside him and resting her head on his shoulder as soon as their seatbelts are on.
“Did you still want to have a nap together?” He whispers, feeling her nod against his shoulder before she pulls back.
“Come here,” she tugs him in against her chest, snuggling in as best as she could in their sitting position. Holding him close and feeling him drift off in her arms. She has no problem following suit.
When she wakes, Rossi is parked outside of her apartment, “here you go, Y/N.”
She hums as she comes to, shaking Spencer awake too, “Spence, come on, let’s get to bed.”
“He’s going with you?”
She nods, “don’t tell Penelope. She’ll have a field day, I just want a nap.”
“You better get more than a nap,” Rossi orders. “You guys need to actually rest before you come back to work on Wednesday.”
“Thanks, Dad,” she teases him. “We will.”
“Bye Dave,” Spencer whispers as he gets out of the car. “Thank you for the ride.”
“Anytime kid,” Rossi waves them off, waiting for them to enter the building before driving away.
“Finally,” she sighs, dragging Spencer down the hall and towards her apartment. “I’m so fucking tired.”
“me too,” he barely says.
He follows her inside like a lost puppy, taking off his vest and shirt, slipping out of his pants until he’s in an undershirt, boxers and his mismatched socks. She’s amazed by how comfortable he is with her, but she has known him for 3 months, it’s enough time to fall in love with someone… right?
She’s loved him since she started working with him. When she realized he valued her opinions, he looked at her as a person and he genuinely loved her company. She felt a real connection with him, not just childish infatuation. He was everything to her.
She slides into bed beside him and snuggles in, wrapping an arm around his middle and resting her head on his chest.
“I guess I really can do everything,” she smirks.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
She pokes his chest and giggles away the awkwardness, “the thing I wanted to do most, the thing that I couldn’t do… that was to fall in love with you, but I did it anyway.”
“Well, then I guess I can do everything too.”
She pulls away to look at him, “I love you, Spencer. I don’t know if it’s too soon, but I’ve loved you for a while.”
He pulls her in for a kiss, shocking her as he breathes her in and holds her there. “I love you, more Y/N.”
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burnedbyshoto · 3 years
Text
indulge me
Tumblr media
indulge me: an arrangement
— Being a secret little girl in the modern world is rough, but it becomes much more chaotic when a classmate of yours offers to be your new daddy dom.
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pairing: todoroki shouto x fem!reader
warnings: 18+, smut, nsfw, ddlg dynamic, college!au, modern!au, daddy!shouto, little girl!reader, I am not well versed in this dynamic please do not use this as an educational source, dom!shouto, sub!reader, biting, marking, mating press, nipple play (both), spanking, oral, gagging, choking, praise, degradation, little space
word count: 13,547
a/n: this is a commission for @bakusbiatch​ thank you for your endless amount fo patience as it took me 100x longer than ever to write this
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If there was something you knew now that you completely did not understand at the age of eighteen was the entire dynamics of sex. To be fair, after an adolescence of watching porn, reading erotica, and even gossiping between friends, it was, without doubt, that you were entirely clueless about real, healthy dynamics.
First off, the first time you had sex was super uncomfortable. 
There was no break or even space for pleasure to build in because you had been so tense, so awkward that you remained rigid and still the entire three minutes the guy fucked into you. You remember his sweat-soaked body collapsing on top of you, his eyes seeing galaxies in the stuffy, now smelly room as he breathed out a ‘Woah.’
You had smiled at him stiffly, letting his softening dick flop out of your dry vagina and curled in on yourself as he snuggled into you, praising the world and everything around it for this moment. It was without saying that you left his cum stained sheets and ran back home.
Sex sucked.
But that was when you were seventeen and made the terrible decision on fucking your friend with whom you had scary sexual tension. You avoided sex to your best ability after that, not so much as caring to allow anyone to touch you because that was disappointing. Why would you go through that when your fingers sufficed much better? Why go through that awkward tension when you didn’t have any moments of awkwardness when reading smut?!
Audios were better.
Words were best.
But, as one does, you fell in love against your will to a boy just a few months older than you. His smile was soft, and his words were kind, but oh, did his touch drive you hot and mad. You weren’t exactly sure how long you had lasted, how much perseverance you had kept when the two of you would fall onto his (thank fucking god) clean sheets, his strong hands and fingers keeping your hips close to his as you kissed him as if you couldn’t live without his touch.
“Are you… are you ready?” he had asked, his shirt thrown into the abyss of his room and the button of your jeans undone, revealing the simple set of panties you had on. “I don’t want to—”
“I’m ready,” you interrupt him, your body practically burning from the inside out with the desperate need and lust for him to fuck you. “I’m ready.”
He stills, his tongue peeking past his lips before a slow, chilling grin spreads against his mouth.
“Okay,” he nods, “can I ask you to do something, though?”
You, in your desperation to get his dick out of his sweats and buried deep into your throbbing cunt, nod.
“I have a daddy kink… I really, really like the daddy little girl dynamics,” he breathes, palms pressing to your knees and dragging down your inner thighs in a teasing, near authoritative way. “Can we… are you interested in trying it?”
Now, although you had largely avoided sex, toys and fingers weren’t nearly enough to replace the overwhelming need to be touched, fucked, and worshipped by another human being. You had fucked plenty of people who had always claimed to have kinks and fetishes. Most of the men you had in bed who said they had a daddy kink only liked being addressed as daddy; that was it. There was no true dynamic, just a play on the power the title brought them.
So, in the naive, childish way you were, you agreed.
You listened to his every command in bed, thrilled and keened under his praise for his princess, for his little girl, and you ate it up, thanking and praising your daddy. The sex ended with you cumming so hard you went blind for a moment, so dizzy from your high. As the both of you drifted off to sleep, you had no clue when you woke up in the morning he would present you with a little girl starter package made by him for you specifically. It was then that you realized that dynamics were an actual thing, and as he presented you a checklist of kinks, toys, and rules he laid out, you realized that nothing you had ever experienced — real or fictional — could have prepared you for this.
The two of you went through the list and rules together, your eyes widening and face blazing with embarrassment as he described his expectations and needs with this dynamic. You nodded, so completely lost in this entire thing that you agreed with most everything he offered and wanted.
The one rule you did have didn’t necessarily surprise him.
The dynamic was to remain a secret, you asserted, unable to budge on this thought. You could be his little girl, but it was to stay in private, never in public. And he tilted his head in thought but ultimately agreed with a smile. He thought you’d one day stop being in the closet over this kink, and you thought the opposite.
And time moves forward; it’s rigid and unforgiving. Two years into a relationship, a year and a half into the dynamic, you and your daddy break up, and you, against all odds, are left scrambling for a daddy you never realized you needed.
What was a girl to do?
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Your head is angled downward, and the hood that sits on your head is not concealing your face as well as you would have liked. It was without saying that you were a woman of pride. You took great care of what you did, how people viewed you, and how you presented yourself to the world. Most days, you always exited your small apartment as an excellent student who was always wearing properly done makeup and stylish outfits. 
Your style screamed confident woman (not little girl, you absolutely refused to wear anything cutesy in public), and you walked with your chin raised and eyes on the horizon.
To see that you were in sweats, an oversized hoodie, no makeup on, and perusing the store's area made for young girls and toddlers, was a shock. You had made sure to come nearly thirty minutes before closing; no one would be here to accidentally see you, no one could see you in your embarrassing shame-picking for your dynamic. All because your newest daddy couldn’t afford to buy you new things since your old ones had your ex’s name or brand all over it.
This was for the best; you reminded yourself as you haphazardly threw the items within the basket, face flaming as you ignored the temptation to simply stand in the aisle and flip through the sticker book and coloring book you recently tossed into the cart. You were fine; you already had your plan of action on what to say when purchasing these items.
‘My sister is pregnant again, and she already has a kid,’ you mentally rehearsed, imagining an excited smile on your face because you are excited for this imaginary pregnant sister of yours. ‘It’s a present for the baby and the brat.’
Solid.
Perfect.
Beautiful.
Making sure to quickly take note of what was inside the basket, you spun on your heel and marched your way through the empty store to the deserted register.
You kept your head down as you placed the basket on the conveyor belt, easy peasy, you would be fine!
“Found everything you were looking for?” a voice asks, piercing through your mental rehearsal just in case you got questions. 
You blink, head raising up, exposing your face to the person behind the register.
It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal.
Checking things out at the register wasn’t supposed to be all that embarrassing. I mean, what could top having to buy pads and tampons from a creepy, greasy old man during your very first period ever?! But you had to admit seeing a familiar face behind the register as he began to scan the items in your cart kinda made it a big deal.
Todoroki Shouto read his name tag, and ‘TODOROKI SHOUTO?!’ screamed your heart. 
Oh, how to describe Todoroki Shouto, well you didn’t even know where to begin.
Shouto was one thousand percent a supermodel that has yet to be recruited. He could probably be a top star athlete, good enough to go overseas if he wanted. He was a genius. Someone who was somehow friends with everyone he came across even though he was a man of few words. 
He stood tall behind the register, the tight black high collared shirt sitting beneath a light blue opened dress shirt. His distinctive red and white slightly wavy hair — all-natural, you believe — pushed back in a way that you would bet to hell and back that he had run his fingers through it. For the past three years in university, you had more than a few classes with this stunning man. You two shared the same major, and he often sat at the back of the classroom, but you were nearly hyperaware of everything he did because his voice was liquid honey and sex and everything that was —
“You can let go of the basket,” Shouto cut through your thoughts, and you gasped loudly, suddenly realizing that you had zoned out thinking about him.
Your hand lets go of the basket, and you slap your sweater-covered hands over your mouth; horror strikes through you like a blazing sword. You weren’t wearing makeup, you were in trash clothes, and you were in front of a man you had lusting feelings over!
NO!
“Sorry!” you squeak, your heart and bile rising up your throat at alarming rates as Shouto merely smiles at you in understanding. “This is all stuff for my sister!”
Shouto blinks, his head tilting to the side as he scans a sippy cup.
“Your sister’s quite young,” he remarks easily, trying not to make you feel stupider—probably.
Tell the lie, y/n, you chide yourself as you shift your weight.
“Ah, well, not actually my sister,” you explain, fingers scratching against your scalp. “My sister is pregnant r-right now, and she already has a little one, so I thought that this would be a good… present?”
Nailed it.
Shouto’s eyebrows quirk, a small smile spreading across his face as he scans the plush doll. 
“That’s very kind of you; you must have a good relationship with your sister.”
“O-Oh yeah, we’re very close.”
“And would you say that this is something appropriate to give to a pregnant family member and their child?”
You froze and looked down at the items you had hastily thrown into the basket.
It was a pacifier, sippy cup, baby blanket, choker, coloring books, stuffed animal, candy, and stickers.
You choked, feeling heat exploding in your cheeks all over again; absolutely not. This was not something to give to a pregnant woman.
“My sister is pregnant,” Shouto explains, definitely sensing your poorly concealed stress, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m the youngest of my siblings, so I don’t really know what to buy her.”
“Absolutely the fuck not.”
Shouto blinked, and before you could start screaming apologies over your rudeness, he began laughing loudly. Your face continued to burn in your utter humiliation and shame, but Shouto only found amusement in this all as he began to place your items away in a bag. 
“What are your recommendations then?” Shouto finally asked, his lips pulled back into an easy, teasing grin. “And that’ll be forty-eight seventy-three.”
You shoved your card into the chip scanner immediately, your gaze everywhere but on him.
“I think you should get whatever your sister wants or still needs,” you quickly say, eyes now focusing on the Approved message on the machine. “Every person is different.”
“I suppose,” Shouto agrees, his arms crossing against his chest, and you have to resist the temptation to ogle at the way his muscles become sinfully pronounced. “Well, I won’t hold you up. See you in lecture tomorrow, y/l/n.”
“Bye!” you squawk, grabbing your bag and racing out.
His eyes burn into your back the entire rush out of the store, but you find that you can’t seem to worry about that. You’re much more elated and somehow horrified at the realization that he knew exactly who you were.
Step zero of who knows how many to get Todoroki Shouto to fall in love with you, complete!
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“So, about the upcoming paper assignment, I’m sure you’re all eager to get started on,” your professor’s voice boomed throughout the lecture hall, his arms folding across his chest as he leans against the podium with an easy grin. “I decided that I would be nice and allow for some partnering up!”
Your eyes widened as excited murmurs exploded through the classroom. 
Partners for a ten-page paper? You were going to thank god almighty. 
But, at the same time, you frowned. This was a class where you didn’t exactly know anyone. It was a course outside of your own major, and with your usual friends not in this class, you knew that you were going to have to go out of your way to find a partner. You withered a bit in your chair, not entirely on board with that train of thought.
“There are an uneven amount of you guys in the class, though,” your professor continued, still sporting that easy grin on his face. “And I decided that instead of having too many groups of three, and because I was so nice to allow partner work, I decided to make the partners. Look at the pinned paper at the door for your partner or partners for the group of three! No, I will not allow trades, and no, I will not allow complaining! Be grateful!”
Hopeful and exasperated murmurs sounded through the room as the professor dismissed the class and frantic movement followed after. Even as old as they were, everyone was desperate and eager to see who a random generator assigned them to. Packing up swiftly, you threw your bag over your shoulder and began walking towards the list. 
You wonder who you were gonna get.
“Y/l/n,” a voice spoke softly, lowly by your ear.
You whipped around — one part startled, a second part curious — and came to see Todoroki Shouto standing slightly behind you. His gaze was at the wall for a moment, dropping only when you were looking up at him. He smiles slowly, and you feel your chest tighten.
Oh boy.
“Todoroki,” you smile, attempting to relax completely in front of him. “Any hopes as to who’s your partner?”
“Well, as long as it isn’t Sero, I think it’ll be okay,” Shouto’s eyes crinkle with his deepened smile. “Last time I did a paper with him, we did it completely high—” you choke, eyes widening at the thought of trying to be eloquent enough to write a paper while high. “—It was terrible.”
“Oh, I bet,” you laugh, arms crossing across your chest as the two of you begin inching forward within the crowd, others leaving with proud laughs, curious frowns, or aggravated groans. “But at least it sounds like it was turned in?”
“It was,” Shouto nods, his teeth flashing as he finally tears his gaze from you. “Oh, would you look at that?”
You hum, eyes squinting as you try to read the list through the many heads before you.
Y/l/n, Todoroki S.
“Would you look at that.”
“Seems like we’re partners,” you laugh, relief and horror flooding your body.
“I’m glad it’s you.”
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So, it was decided that with the two weeks given to write the paper and taking Shouto’s job into account, this paper was to be written as soon as possible. The suggestion of working on it together in the same room and not just through google doc was brought up and agreed upon. So with consensus on that, the matter of where it was going to happen was brought up.
“We can do it at my place,” Shouto offered with a shrug, “my house is pretty big.”
“I don’t have a car,” you interject, a frown on your face — you wanted to see his house. “My apartment is five minutes from campus. Is that alright?”
A smile.
“That’s perfect.”
And so, on a Friday afternoon, you found yourself already apologizing profusely as you walked up the staircase that smelled just a tiny bit of cheese. You warned him about the mess of your apartment. About how not to judge you on any and all messes you might have made on your way out! That you would have cleaned up had you known this was happening!
“I’m sure it’ll be okay,” Shouto spoke, attempting to ease your anxiety as you push your key in the doorknob and turn it. “I really don’t mind a messy place.”
“Ha, well, this is it,” you say, your face feeling disgustingly warm as you breach the entrance to your small one bedroom one bathroom place. “Leave your shoes right there, and we can head in!”
Toeing off your own shoes, you scrambled into the apartment, eyes wide as you attempted to make sure that nothing was crazily messy or out of place. There wasn’t any dirty laundry or undergarments anywhere? No, good!
Shouto locks the door behind himself, a chuckle at the back of his throat vibrating in his chest as he watches you skirt about. He looks down at the shoes you were wearing, white sneakers, and smirks at how small they look compared to his. He never really thought he was that tall or big, to be honest. It was a decent size for someone from his family, but it amused him greatly to see his things pushed against yours.
He looked back up, eyes landing on your flustered face as you stood by a table in the kitchen area.
“Ready?” he asked, hands shoving into his pockets.
“I believe so!”
And for some reason, probably the very same reason that had him entranced by you, Shouto laughs and steps foot into your apartment.
The paper itself isn’t that hard.
It’s an argumentative piece mostly on a Green Act proposal that was currently being debated within the government body. A paper that was fifty percent argument was something you were elated to have, but the other fifty percent was using sources and articles to further back your point. It was now two hours into the paper writing, takeout filling the empty spaces between the table as Shouto’s laughter and your ranting filled the open air. It was nice; he was nice to hang out with.
“I’m just saying we are nearing a universal climate disaster, and I do not want to be wondering when I will die because some fat old men with huge wallets want to continue getting richer!” you yelled, your chest heaving with your lack of proper air. “It’s dumb!”
“I bet if you grabbed ahold of their favorite toupees, they’d fold and agree,” Shouto teases, his grin covered by the mug he’s currently drinking tea from. “I’ll bail you out of prison.”
“I wouldn’t go to prison for that,” you argue, arms folding across your chest as you shake your head in solemn understanding. “They’d murder me and make it look like an accident.”
“Dark.”
“You know it.”
“I’ll avenge you.”
“You better, or else I’ll blame you for my murder.”
Shouto’s jaw dropped, ready to retaliate with something else, but he was interrupted by a loud call from your phone. You frowned, head tilting as you pulled your phone out from your jean pocket and stared at the screen.
Incoming call from: dd.
“I have to take this,” you say apologetically, standing up as you answered the call. You waited until you were in your bedroom before placing the phone to your head, your heart hammering with the unknown. “Hello?”
.
Shouto heard the click of your bedroom door, and he sighed, leaning back into his chair. His eyes looked up at the ceiling, momentarily bored now that he wasn’t with you. He wondered who ‘dd’ was and if you were alright. He hoped it wasn’t anything serious.
Grabbing his water cup, Shouto frowned, seeing that it was empty. He looked over at the sink where you had initially filled up the water cups. You wouldn’t mind if he filled it up on his own, right? Shouto pushed back his chair and stood, the cup resting in his fingers as he walked over towards the sink with a light hum.
He filled the cup slowly, not wanting to make too much noise. But as he stared at the drying dishes on your dish holder, he frowned at the sight of the pink sippy cup you had bought from the store last week. It was cleaned, obviously used, and he tilted his head.
Weird.
The cupboard was open, and Shouto couldn’t help but look into the dark wood and startled once again when he took in the neatly folded bib and the nearly innocuous pacifier sitting on top of it. Untouched, undisturbed, but used — definitely used.
Frowning, he took a slow, long drink of his water as he stared out towards the small living room you had. There, sitting on the wood coffee table, was the coloring book you had also purchased. That wasn’t adding up… if they were for your sister’s kids, why were they here? It didn’t exactly seem like the place to be holding them. 
Shouto thought, trying to figure out just why you had all these things for… well, children.
Was testing products on your own a thing people did?
Well, yes, he supposed so, but these were already licensed products. The coloring book, well, he guesses that was a pretty normal thing! Drawing and coloring were everyday stress relieves — his mother often used that to help herself. But a pacifier, a bip, and a sippy cup? The only thing he could rationalize with that was—
“You’re being fucking ridiculous, daddy!” your voice harshly whispered (maybe ridiculed and mocked) from your room, just loud enough that Shouto heard, and his eyes widened.
Oh.
Ohh fuck.
.
.
.
“You know what, this isn’t working,” you scoff, fingers pinching the bridge of your nose as you roll your eyes to the heavens above. “This was a good trial run, but I’m going to have to end this. This is not what I was looking for.”
“Come on, brat, you know you don’t mean that—”
You hung up, your fingers curled in a fist as you growled lowly at the screen. You wasted no time in blocking the number. What a fucking terrible daddy he was. Didn’t buy you anything, didn’t support you, or help you. There was no dynamic in this relationship. It was just a power-hungry dom with a streak for being called daddy.
A fucking poser at best.
Rolling your eyes, you tossed your phone onto your bed and walked out of your room back to the main area of your place. You looked at Shouto, who was sitting in his chair, his face bored, maybe a bit tired, and his face was concentrated on his phone — he was idly scrolling through it.
“Sorry that took so long,” you apologize, slinking back onto your chair, hands rubbing your face. “I tried to be fast about that.”
Shouto peered past the top of his phone, a comforting smile on his face, “Don’t worry about it; it wasn’t like we were intensely working on the paper anyways.”
You smile, slightly embarrassed. 
“That’s true, um—”
“I think it’s time—”
The both of you spoke over each other clumsily, awkwardly — both of you obviously thinking of something that wasn’t quite in front of you. Your smile feels less forced now, “we’re done for the day?”
Shouto shifts in his chair, his head dropping slightly in agreement, “I think that would be best. We did a lot today, though.”
“We did!” you agree with a laugh, standing up and grabbing the items off the table, assisting Shouto with getting ready to leave. “We’ll meet back up in two days?”
Shouto nods, “that sounds like a plan.”
You help him pack up, insisting that you could clean up the kitchen without his help. It takes a few minutes, but finally, you have him walking out of your place, a light wave on your hand before he exits onto the staircase. You close the door with a sigh.
Jesus Christ.
.
.
Shouto stands in the stairway, his eyes concentrated on his phone where he has a single question typed into his browser.
ddlg dynamics ↳ Let’s talk DDLG, also known as Daddy Dom Little Girl. It’s a submissive/dominant relationship where the dom is known as a “Daddy,” and the submissive is known as a “Little Girl.”
...Interesting.
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Now, you were a pretty paranoid person; you could admit that. 
You didn’t like being paranoid, but you were. Most days, you always triple-checked you weren’t being followed, quadruple-checked you had your school assignments turned in and your things in your bag. With your sex life and part of your social life being introduced to the ddlg dynamic, your paranoia grew even more.
Most people weren’t understanding — they weren’t. They assumed this dynamic was simply calling your dom daddy in bed and getting called princess in return! They always believed that, allowed for that. It was socially acceptable to call your dom daddy in bed, but god fucking forbid any other part of the dynamic come into play.
You remember reading comments in articles about grown women sitting in frilly skirts and diapers as part of her dynamic and watching grown adults tear her apart — skin and bones. That was the reaction you feared, you hated.
There was a reason why you enjoyed sitting in your frilly skirts, in your white and baby pink clothes. You loved having your dom come home, tired and stressed, and ask you, his little girl, to sit on his lap while he distressed. You enjoyed the sippy cups that helped to melt your anxiety, and you enjoyed doing chores under your doms watchful eye.
The praises, the rewards were always so uplifting, and the sex was always on an intensity that made you tremble with explosive satisfaction. If your dom wanted you in diapers, you would negotiate appropriately, and you sure as hell didn’t need a fucking stranger’s opinion on whether or not that was ‘normal.’
But no amount of confidence you had in your dynamic had ever eased the bottomless paranoia and anxiety. 
Hence why after Shouto had left your apartment and you realized in horror that you had left out some damning evidence to your dynamic. The coloring book on your coffee table and the sippy cup that was obviously used were on full display. You wondered for a few hours, nearly spirling with anxiety if he had noticed — if that was why he was partially stiff as he left for the day. You had only managed to calm down when he had sent you a text later that night that he had enjoyed being over and was looking forward to working together the next day.
The praise was needed, seeping warm into your bones as you rolled over in your bed and knocked out.
You thought that you were in the clear. That that was as far as things were going to go, but your paranoia came back the next day in full force as you sat in a group with Shouto.
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“Do you want a sticker?”
That was the beginning of it all.
You had accepted the sticker without a second thought. Your typical barriers down because the lack of a dom in your life was throwing you for a bit. God, you were pathetic. You had smiled brightly, eagerly nodding as you thrust your hands out towards Shouto, waiting to receive a sticker. 
“Good job,” he had said with an endearing smile, “you deserve it.”
It was only then that the weight of what happened settled on your bones, and you froze.
Fuck.
Smiling stiffly, you pressed the sparkly pink star to your shirt and returned back to your assignment, unable to speak up again for some time.
You had hoped that it was going to end there, but it seemed that nothing about your life was going in your favor right now. 
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“Do you have a bedtime?” Shouto idly asked one late night when he was over, and you could not stop yawning to save your life. “I think everyone should go to bed at 10 p.m. on a school night, don’t you agree?”
You had choked on your saliva before disagreeing vehemently. 
“I don’t sleep until… like, um, three in the morning?” you make up, teeth tearing into your lip as you avoided eye contact.
“Such a bad girl,” Shouto murmured, much too low for you to pick up.
“What?!”
“That’s bad for your health,” he recovered with a smile.
“Oh… yeah, I suppose so.”
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“Y/l/n is a sub; she’s a brat about that,” Shouto said to the group you both were assigned to in yet another class the two of you shared.
You had been idly drinking from your coffee cup and was utterly zoned out when he said that. So when you had picked up his words, you nearly choked at the sentence, your eyes watering and your throat burning with your drink and humiliation as the entire table turned to look at you.
“Oh shit, are you okay?!” Mina asked, eyes wide.
“I’m a what?!” you splutter instead, eyes focused on Shouto and your cheeks beginning to burn with unsaid fear.
“You’re a substitute babysitter for your sister,” Shouto remarked, his head tilted as he feigned innocence. “You were telling me about that the other day, remember? Sero is trying to get into the babysitting gig too.”
You wanted to believe him, you wanted so desperately to believe that Shouto was just somehow landing a missile into every paranoid corner of your life without meaning to, but this was getting out of control. This was too on the head, too obvious to not say that he somehow saw your little things and pieced together the dynamic you’ve come to love and thrive in. But you couldn’t fess up; you wouldn’t give yourself to the wolves of embarrassment and shame over something you knew wasn’t wrong.
“Oh,” you say stiffly, smiling over at Sero, “I’m on an app that is used a lot by small families; I can text you the name?”
“I’d appreciate that!” Sero laughs, blissfully unaware of the rising tension between you and Shouto. “I didn’t think that high school girls had some type of business turf thing; they’re scary and aggressive!”
“It’s a serious job for high schoolers,” Mina waved him off, “this is the only thing most of them can do!”
The conversation between Sero and Mina began to drift off as you were staring at Shouto, unable to break the eye contact the both of you found yourselves connected by. You didn’t want to pull away, too bitter and anxious to. You were currently two weeks without a daddy dom in your life, and you knew that you should be able to have a better grasp on your life than this — you knew you couldn’t lean on this dynamic at every point in your life. But you were sad to admit that you were struggling to keep your head afloat. You felt like you were almost drowning, struggling to keep your composure as you needed a play or a simple scene.
But the confidence in Shouto’s eyes that were hidden behind the sheer curiosity and wonder was making your skin itch, making you want to grab him by the collar and bring him in close and demand to know exactly what he was thinking. 
He would not embarrass you.
He would not.
“Can I talk to you, Todoroki?” you asked, practically demanded of Shouto as the group of you began to stand at the table, readying to leave. 
If you noticed Mina’s and Sero’s eyebrows shoot up towards the ceiling, you didn’t say anything as Shouto paused in putting things into his backpack. His head tilted, but he nodded his head, “yeah, about what?”
“Don’t worry about it,” you smile stiffly, tossing your own backpack over your shoulder as you turn on your heel and immediately begin walking. Uncaring if he was following you or not. “Bye, Mina, Sero.”
There’s silence behind you before the heady sound of a chair scraping against the floor is heard and the long, quick strides of Shouto following after you. You exit the cafe you had been in, eyes squinting when the harsh rays of sun fall on your face, but you don’t hesitate or pause even once.
There’s no one outside right now; it’s just you and Shouto. 
You feel him at your shoulder, and you keep your gaze straight ahead, unwilling to look at him just yet. 
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing,” you finally whisper, your voice low and angry. You nearly spat them out at him, utterly humiliated and horrified that you were probably outing yourself should he just be that dense and annoyingly able to pick at your anxiety. “Stop it.”
“I don’t—” Shouto began, eyes wide and screaming of innocence that could make you cry.
“I know you saw my things, and I know you pieced it together,” you cut him off, your lips pursed tight. You suddenly stop in your tracks, tears burning at the back of your eyes as you turn to face Shouto. “So if you have a problem with that, I suggest that you kindly fuck off!”
Shouto stands next to you, hair hastily swept backward, hand on the strap of his bag, and his face telling you that you had miscalculated something. You prayed it wasn’t about how he knew about you being a little.
“I don’t have a problem with that,” Shouto admits, his hand raising to rub the back of his neck. “I don’t think you’re weird or strange or bad for being into the ddlg dynamic. I’m actually… I take part in it too. I was trying to subtly tell you that I was into it as well, and well, I heard that you and your last dom broke it off… I wanted to tell you that I was interested in becoming your new dom.”
You blink.
“Eh?!”
“I’m interested in forming an agreement with you?” Shouto tilts his head; there’s a sense of seriousness to his face, his eyes innocent. “I need a little, and if you’re looking for a dom…”
He lets the silence fill the rest of his sentence, and your mouth gapes open as blood rushes to your face at the straightforward request.
“I… I barely know you!” you splutter, your heart in your ears as you can barely comprehend what was going on. 
Two weeks ago, Todoroki Shouto was practically a stranger. You knew him about as well as a person knew the barista at their favorite coffee shop. Friendly, but not close. Definitely not close enough for you to say that you would allow for him to see you in your little space, for him to give you a list of rewards and punishments — for possible sex?!
“Most caregiver contracts like this are done between people who know even less,” Shouto shrugs, his arms folded across his chest. “You don’t have to say yes now or even agree, but I like you a lot. I want to pursue a relationship with you, and I assumed that this would be a good starting ground especially if you need it.”
Your tongue sweeps across your lips, unable to come up with a single rationale thing to say. 
“I don’t need an answer right now; indulge me, though,” Shouto smiles softly, his gaze dropping for a moment. “Take as much time as you need. We can do a single scene to test it out, and if it doesn’t work out, no hard feelings. Let me know when you’re interested in it, though.”
You can’t say anything; you can only numbly nod as Shouto smiles at you once again.
“Let me know.”
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Todoroki S.: ↳ If you need a list, I’ll send mine over whenever you want. I have my rules, rewards, punishments, and kinks all supplied in it. [received Today 23:44]
Todoroki S.: ↳ If you need a list, I’ll send mine over whenever you want. I have my rules, rewards, punishments, and kinks all supplied in it. [seen 7 Days Ago 23:44]
You: ↳ Send your points, we can see if we’re compatible. [seen now]
Todoroki S.: ↳ I enjoyed the scene we did today; I hope you did too. I’m interested in making this a real thing if you are too. [received Today 20:44]
You: ↳ I did, too, actually, lol. Um, thank you, first of all! We can work on the contract now. [received Today 20:48]
Todoroki S.: ↳ Okay. I’ve already made the first draft of one; if you’d like to look it over, let me know what you think, and we can edit some things around. [seen now]
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It has been two months since the contract was signed.
Two months.
Two months of Shouto practically living in your apartment with you, a once stranger seeing you at your most vulnerable. He was a steady hand on your back as you slipped into your desired little space, a constant warmth at your side as you went about your day at home. 
It had been weird at first; your anxiety still wouldn’t let up, nearly convincing you many times that this was all but a prank. That Shouto would pull away from you when you least expected it and would expose you to the world. There had been many times where he would hold you on his lap, his arms warm around your back, your favorite stuffed animal sitting on your lap as he promised you that you were wrong.
“Daddy is here to protect you, sunshine,” Shouto murmured in your ear, his warm lips pressing to the small behind your ear. “Daddy would never do that to my baby girl. That wouldn’t make me happy.”
“I-It wouldn’t?” you sniffled, your nose face nuzzling further into his neck as your sobs had finally stopped. 
“No, not at all, sunshine,” Shouto smiled against the crown of your head. You felt his lips press a soft kiss there, his warm hands stroking up and down your back. “Do you remember what makes Daddy happy?”
You blink, your wet eyelashes heavy and sticking together as you peer at his jaw as if it could possibly tell you.
“I can’t… I can’t remember, sorry, Daddy,” you sniffle again, suddenly terrified that he would be upset with you. You were such a terrible baby girl.
“What makes Daddy happy is seeing his baby girl smiling, happy, protected, and safe,” Shouto easily relays, pulling you away from his shoulder, his calloused fingers rubbing the tear streaks that still stain down your face. “I promise that I will never do anything to cause you harm, sunshine. I only want you to be happy; you being happy makes me happy like nothing before.”
There’s no stopping the way your bottom lip trembles with the pleasant weight of his words, the way it warms you from your belly and curls to your toes.
“Pinky promise?” you whimper, somehow out of breath.
Shouto looks at your curved pinky that is extended out for him to hold, to seal the other half of a promise he has no intentions of ever breaking.
Smiling softly, Shouto wraps his pinky with yours and twists it gently, locking the promise.
“Pinky promise,” he affirms, placing a kiss to your knuckles.
.
.
He was so good to you.
So sweet, gentle, patient, and kind.
He tended to spend the night Mondays through Fridays, giving you the weekend to be on your own. He only ever slept in your bed with your given consent (which was every single time), and there was just something about wearing the silver chained choker on your neck that he bought for you. Dainty and cute, nothing too crazy to draw overwhelming attention.
It had a tiny cherry blossom that was engraved with Shouto on the back.
It was a constant and calming reminder of what you had during the day.
The arrangement was going better than you had assumed it was going to be.
Shouto made for an excellent daddy, but there was one grievance you had. With two months of extreme kinship, so many nights of being curled into his side, getting near-daily cuddles for following his orders perfectly, and a few spanks because you were careless even after he warned you — you had assumed that the sexual part of the dynamic would come out. 
You had okayed for him to be able to fuck you, regardless of whether or not you were in little space! You reached your little space more often than not around him because he was so well, but now you were bordering desperation. You wanted your daddy to please you more, to give you the reward you wanted most: his cock.
“I’m home, bunny,” Shouto called out, his voice hinting exhaustion but mostly satisfaction at being home again.
Per your rules and regulations, greeting Shouto with a cheerful ‘welcome home, daddy!’ when he arrived home was a must. It was a clear indicator that not only were you home but that you wished to indulge in the dynamic for the rest of the day.
But you sat at the coffee table wearing an unapproved, not chosen outfit for home.
You were wearing an off-the-shoulder white cotton shirt that was big and soft, pink lace shorts that barely covered your ass but was hemmed with lace and pretty frill. You had thigh highs on as well that were the same pink as your shorts. There was a pacifier in your mouth, your gaze focused on the Disney coloring book in front of you as you colored in Sleeping Beauty. 
You turned your head, eyes looking at your daddy with a vague look of disinterest before turning back to your coloring.
“I said ‘I’m home,’ bunny,” Shouto restated, giving you the benefit of the doubt of whether or not you heard him. Typically you were excited to have him home, going to his side immediately and asking a million questions as to what he had been doing and why he was home so late. 
“Hmph,” was your response as you placed a sticker onto the coloring page.
Shouto’s eyebrows furrowed; he toed off his shoes and began walking towards you, assessing what was happening. 
“Is my bunny mad that I was a bit later than I had promised?” he asked, sitting on the couch behind you, his fingers brushing across your clothes as if he was trying to remember if he had selected this outfit. But the sudden touch that you were craving in a way like no other made your head spin just so, and you resisted the motion of caving.
You wanted to be a brat! Your daddy should be taking care of all your needs! He promised he would be taking care of you better than you took care of yourself! He should know when you wanted his cock!
“Hmph!” you hrmph again, and you lean out of his touch even though you craved it. 
Although you couldn’t see him, you could feel the slow, calculating blink Shouto took at this action. There’s a moment of silence before the couch sounds under his shifting weight. You freeze at the feeling of his warm palm on your spine, a whisper of danger. It feels partially like a threat, a reminder of impending consequences.
“What did daddy say about bunny using her words?” Shouto asks, his voice stern, low, commanding. 
It should scare you, but the threat in his voice makes your heart stammer and your cunt wet. So, instead of doing what’s right, you stand up, ignoring him yet again as you stick your nose up to the ceiling and try to walk away. 
Well, you try to, that is.
Before you can go too far, Shouto’s fingers are wrapped around your wrist, keeping you in place.
 “You know I don’t like it when you don’t speak, right?” Shouto asks, his eyes digging into your cheek as you refuse to look at him. Yet another rule he has in place. You had to look at him when he spoke to you or when you spoke to him. It was to help make sure that you behaved properly in public — to make you the best baby girl ever. “Use your words and look at me, princess.”
The word princess rolled off his tongue, and you bit down on your tongue to keep the breathy moan from expelling from your lips. He typically only used princess when you were on the verge of genuinely displeasing him, when he was warning you one last time before a punishment was given. Your daddy was two months without jacking off, exhausted from work, and now dealing with you, his bratty baby girl. There was no way this wasn’t going to end with him forcing you to suck him off or to use you as an onahole (something you had said was okay unless you used your safeword, of course).
You shook in his hold, teeth biting your lip as you stared at the wall, refusing to heed his command.
“I’ll give you to the count of three to look at me and address me,” Shouto says, his thumb stroking the innard of your wrist. “One.”
There was no way you would cave.
“Two.”
The silence between the two of you was heavy.
“One.”
Excitement shot through you at the thought of him finally fucking you into your mattress.
“No dessert tonight,” is what Shouto said instead, and you froze.
You whipped your head towards Shouto, fury, and humiliation painting your face as your jaw drops, the pacifier falling onto the floor.
“No!”
“No?” Shouto repeats, his eyes narrowed, unhappy with the challenge. “Do you want me to take away your video games too?”
“No!” you shriek, hands clawing at your face because this was not going the way it was going. “I want my dessert and my video games!”
“Too bad, princess,” Shouto states sternly, unaffected by your growing tantrum. “You lost them both for tonight.”
“No! Give them back! I haven’t done anything wrong, daddy!” you scream, throwing your arms in your hysterics as Shouto stands up to his full height, looming over you without a single issue. Tears prick at the back of your eyes because you’ve messed up somehow; your daddy doesn’t want you — doesn’t love you the way you love him.
“You’ve been misbehaving this entire time I’ve come back home,” Shouto retorts, his other hand grabbing your wrist and managing to place them both close to his chest, limiting your thrashing actions. “Don’t think I didn’t notice the new outfit.”
“I don’t want those punishments, daddy! I don’t want t-them,” you wheeze, your eyes locked on your hands that are bound so tightly in his hands, and you whimper loudly. “You’re hurting me, daddy!”
“And you’re trying to hurt me,” Shouto calmly points out. “I can’t have you doing that, so I’ll hold onto you until you calm down enough. I’m doing this because I care for my little brat.”
“You don’t care! You don’t c-care!” you sob finally, unable to keep the hot tears from your eyes. “Daddy doesn’t care about me!”
The effect is evident and instant.
Shouto’s grip on your wrist lessens altogether, and your pounding fists finally connect with his chest as you collapse against him.
“Daddy doesn’t c-care…”
“That’s not true,” Shouto breathes easily, his fingers brushing against your sides before his arms wrap around you. “I care so much for you, baby. What’s wrong? Tell me what I can do to make things better.”
A loud sniffle emits from you, and you fist your hands in his shirt, your head shaking. 
“It’s been two months, and daddy won’t let me have his cummies,” you whisper, terrified that he would reject you. “Am I not good enough? Attractive enough that daddy wants to reward me with his dick?”
There’s a shift in the air.
“My little doll wants her daddy’s cock, is that what?” Shouto murmured against the top of your head. “My precious, innocent baby girl wants something filthy like that.”
“Mmn,” was all you could manage, your face burning at the implications, the suggestion in his voice. 
“And instead of using her words, as we practice, she decided to act like a little brat to get her way,” Shouto’s voice is low, raspy, and deep. Its tenor is just right that it makes the room instantly hotter, your body brimming with excited energy. “I think… my beautiful doll has broken too many rules for me to just give her a good reward. She deserves to be my little doll as punishment for now. I thought she was grown enough to ask for things she wanted.”
You gasp as Shouto’s warm, calloused hands drop down to the minimally exposed flesh between your booty shorts and your thigh highs. It sends an entire wave of goosebumps down your skin, and you shudder as they rise upwards, slipping under your shirt and resting on the soft skin of your stomach. 
“Your punishment will be what daddy wants it to be, doll,” Shouto states, his fingernails brushing over your clothed nipples, and you mewl at the touch. “You’ve given up your right to speak right now, and because daddy can’t trust you to not be a brat, you will suck daddy’s dick until I see it fit. You will stand on your knees like the beautiful doll daddy knows you can be. Silent, obedient, and so beautiful.”
The words are a goldmine you’ve wanted to hear this entire time, but you’re upset — rightfully upset — that it took your daddy so long to figure it out! He needed you to spell it out for him to act on it!
“I don’t like sucking dicks!” you complain, trying to wiggle out of his grasp. “That’s yucky!”
Shouto raised an eyebrow at that, his eyes flashing dangerously as he absorbed the implications of your actions. He knew he was going to earn this just as much as you were.
“Excuse me?” Shouto says calmly, a single eyebrow arched. “Do you want to repeat that?”
“You heard m-me,” you stammer, trying to remain steady under his steady stare. “If daddy couldn’t catch that, maybe I should be the one giving out the punishments.”
A hot, predatory smirk pulls across his face as his grip on your wrist tightens, and he yanks you just slightly closer towards him.
“Oh really?” he chuckles so coldly you shiver. “So you think you’re in charge here?”
You nod slowly, your pupils wide and blown. Your eyes were transfixed on his mouth, his pretty plump lips practically calling your name. 
His tongue swipes across his front teeth, and you watch him in awe, horror, and damning horny anticipation as he sits back on the couch and takes you down with him. You struggle for a bit, terrified as you feel unbalanced, ready to tumble to the floor. But your stomach is pressed heavily against his knees, pleasurable discomfort spreading through your body as you recognize this easy, beautiful spanking position. 
“I’m going to give you ten spanks,” Shouto announces, his hand rubbing smooth circles over your soft shorts. “You will count every one of them and thank me for each one. If you mess up, if you misbehave, you will get more until you do as I demand.”
You struggle against his hold, thrashing and twisting as his fingers push the shorts higher up your ass, exposing your flesh to him. But as he did so, you remember that you’re not wearing panties, and Shouto sees that too.
“Mm, you’re not wearing panties,” Shouto says, his voice trying to keep the undying want and lust from bleeding through his tone. “My precious doll is that desperate she couldn’t fully dress herself?”
“I can d-dress— aahhh!!!!”
Your interjection was interrupted by the sharp, well-practiced spank that Shouto delivered to your round ass. You arched against his lap, your skin tingling and feeling pathetically good. 
“I said you were my doll right now, and dolls don’t speak unless given permission to,” Shouto clipped, his hand circling your now tender flesh. “You didn’t count, so let's try again.”
SLAP.
“Oh my god!” you shriek at the contact, your head spinning at the craved touch. It wasn’t like his typical spanks, the ones that came down not to hurt but to remind you, to correct you to be better. These stung with power, reminding you that you were getting what you craved, and you felt your toes curl and your cunt beginning to seep with the knowledge.
Fuck, you wanted this.
THWACK.
“Again.”
THWACK.
“Daddy can spank your pretty little ass all day, doll. Do as you’re told if you want daddy’s cock.”
SPANK.
“O-One, thank you, daddy!”
WHACK!
You threw your head back at the sensation, your eyes crossing and your hips bucking backward as you shriek with pleasure. You don’t count, your head swimming with unfound energy, and Shouto tsks.
“You’re so terrible at following directions, aren’t you?” Shouto asks, his mouth hovering by your ear, and you nearly melt when his teeth tug at your cartilage at the same time he serves another heated spank to your perky ass. “Such a dirty brat, getting off on her punishments. But let me tell you, if you don’t start following what I instruct of you, I’ll fuck your mouth and leave you without any cummies.”
You gasp loudly, sobbing as he delivers yet another solid spank for your undoubtedly bruising ass. And so, with a pathetic, desperate nod, you agree.
You count to ten, thanking him each time with a beautiful sob that makes the bulge in his pants obvious to you. Your lips are swollen, bruised, and sheen with saliva from holding back your louder sobs. Your ass seems to be imprinted with the shape of his hand against your skin, and you tumble off his lap at the final thank you.
There’s slick gathered on your shorts, soaking through the pretty pink fabric turning it dark. 
“I forget that my beautiful baby girl is a masochist,” Shouto sighs as he stands up in front of you. You gasp on the floor, your head swimming with the building heat between your legs, and you hear an all too familiar, always exciting, sound of a belt being undone followed quickly by a zipper and rustling fabric.
“God, you’re so wonderful, doll,” Shouto sighs as he pulls out his hardening cock to where you’re already on your knees with wide, curious, hopeful eyes. “Already on your knees, ready to choke on daddy’s cock even though this is a punishment.”
You can barely register his words, your eyes focused and fascinated — scared almost — of the cock Shouto has. It’s fucking huge, and it’s thick, slightly curved upward with a pretty flushed tip and bulging veins. You were sure if you could even manage to take more than a few inches in!
“I think I remember something about how you don’t like deep throating,” Shouto hums contemplatively. You freeze, your heart stopping for just a moment at what he’s implying. “Well, it’s a good thing this is a punishment.”
His fingers press into your mouth, making you choke, and with your lips spread wide, mouth open for taking, Shouto guides his cock into your parted lips with a dangerous moan. 
There's an immediate ache in your jaw, the size, and girth of his cock overwhelming you without so much doubt. You gag immediately at the weight of it pressing on your tongue, filling your mouth. Heat hammers in your cunt, and you heave against him.
Shouto sighs as if he was in heaven, his hands grabbing the back of your head and slamming your head as far down his cock. So far that your nose brushed against the skin of his stomach, before pressing against it completely. 
Shouto moans louder than your panicked gags and chokes, his hips swirling and twisting as he looks down at you with lovesick eyes. “You’re so good at this,” Shouto praises, his fingers wiping away the tears that prick at your eyes. “So good.  Daddy’s so pleased with you, taking my cock so well. So beautiful even when you cry on my dick.”
Your throat spasms around his cock, your lungs burning severely from the lack of oxygen. Not a single part of your body able to relax as you desperately sought to breathe. It hurt, but it felt so good. Saliva began to pool from the corner of your mouth, dripping down your chin and drooling on your clothed breasts.
Shouto took notice and hummed contently.
“Daddy’s going to count to the number ten,” he informed you, rolling his hips further into your mouth, shoving his cock even further down your throat than you thought possible. “If you can keep your pretty nose pressed to daddy’s stomach the entire time, daddy promises you he will give you the best orgasm you’ve ever received.”
You made a squeaking noise around his cock, your fingers that were buried into his shirt gripping tighter as he suddenly lets go of your head.
“One.”
Resisting the urge to pull off him completely was a near-losing battle.
“Two.”
Your body shook with intensity, the scorching need to properly breathe slamming down on you.
“Three… four…”
Shouto’s hands began to pet your head, soothing the worried lines on your face, brushing away your tears.
“Five… six… fuck, you’re so gorgeous, baby girl.”
You whimper around his cock, and Shouto moans liquid gold in return. He smiles deviously, fingers brushing down your throat.
“Seven… eight…” you choke loudly when his fingers press against your throat, tightening your already spasming throat around his cock, furthering the burning sensation all throughout your body. “Nine…”
You look at him with pleading eyes, wordlessly begging for mercy, for something as he pauses for more than a second between nine and ten. His hips lazily jerk into your mouth, his free hand combing his hair back, messily styling it as he smirks. Your saliva was dripping uncontrollably now, pooling at the back of your throat, on your tongue, past your lips. Shouto sighs, his eyes bright with power, with the knowledge that you were so obedient.
“Ten.”
Immediately, you collapse from his cock. Saliva and pre-cum connecting your coughing mouth to his hard dick still. Your lungs ache, and your breathing is frantic as you try to regain a sense of composure. Your tears meaning nothing so long as the inferno between your thighs is tamed. 
“You did so well, baby girl,” Shouto praises, and despite the pain in your lungs, you puff up at the praise. “You did exactly what daddy asked for you, so daddy believes you deserve a reward. Do you agree?”
Unable to speak, your belly tight and warm, and your throat aching slightly, you nod eagerly.
“Use your words, angel,” Shouto coos; he steps out of his pants before squatting before you, his fingers grazing your chin. “Daddy loves it when he hears you speaking.”
“I would love a r-reward, daddy,” you whimper softly. 
Your eyes swim with want, with inexplicable needs and desires. Shouto softens when he notices you nosing into his palms; he brushes a strand of hair out of your face.
“Look at how politely you asked that,” Shouto praises, kissing you softly on the corner of your mouth. “Daddy’s so proud of you, sweetheart.”
You keen some more, your wet eyelashes batting in your excitement and undying love for him.
“Now, daddy wants you to go to your room and take off all the clothes you want. Once you’re ready, I want you to call me in, and then daddy will take excellent care of you, okay?” Shouto commands you, his lips pressing softly onto your cheeks, eyelids, and finally softly onto your lips.
You gasp loudly at the touch, your eyes wide but looking incredibly drunk at the touch.
“Okay!” you giggle, pressing forward and taking his lips into another kiss.
He hums before assisting you to your feet, and you breathlessly laugh as you turn around and skip away towards your room. 
Your room is neat, as is required of Shouto. Your bed is neatly organized; there’s nothing on the floor or on your chair. Everything is put away correctly and cleanly. Grinning, you take off your shirt followed by your bra, shimming off your shorts, you toss away your clothes into your hamper, leaving only your socks on.
Hopping onto your bed, you grab a stuffed animal before turning to face the door and sing.
“Daddy, I’m ready!!!”
You squeal after saying that, excitedly staring at the closed door, eagerly anticipating the way Shouto would walk in. Your eyelashes flutter when you see the doorknob twist and in comes Shouto, who, unlike you, is completely naked.
Now you knew he was fit, even with your mind beginning to sink into your little space, you knew that Shouto was a handsome, fine man. He was built, muscular, and toned. He was tall, his head nearly hitting the top of the door if it wasn’t for the fact he was leaning against the doorframe. There is a slight smile on his face that screams of his pride, his joy of seeing you like this. And his eyes rake like hot coals against your body.
You shudder.
“Aren’t you cute,” Shouto murmurs, pride evident in his tone. He walks towards you, tongue slipping between his lips as he reaches the foot of the bed. “Such a beautiful princess, but now… what does princess need?”
“I need my daddy to take care of me,” you whisper, eyes hooded and mouth turning dry as he begins leaning onto the bed. “I want my daddy.”
“Such a dirty girl,” Shouto says with a chuckle as you begin to lean back onto your bed, your legs spreading for him. “Such a dirty, gorgeous girl.”
Your breathing stutters as the bed moves under his weight, and you’re practically panting as you watch his body slowly crawl over yours. Shouto looks down at you, his eyes deceivingly bright even with the shadows, and your eyes flutter as he leans down. 
You’re expecting a kiss, craving the feeling of his smooth, plump lips on yours. But you gasp in shock, betrayal, and in lust when his lips press against your earlobe. He trails his kisses everywhere, kissing every inch, every centimeter of your face, but never once your lips.
“Daddy, stop teasing!!” you whine loudly, feet kicking on the mattress and hands burying into his hair.
“I’m not teasing you,” Shouto objects, but the grin on his face says otherwise. “Why do you think I’m teasing you? What do you want?” 
“I want daddy’s kisses! Give me your kisses!” you cry with a pout.
With a burst of cheerful laughter that warms your heart and makes your belly flip, Shouto presses downward, capturing your lips with his. The contact is blissful, everything and more that you need. You eagerly kiss him back, making noises that are both sinful and so blessedly innocent as your arms wrap around his neck.
Shouto kisses you back with matching intensity, one elbow resting by your head, the other resting on your hip as he allows your tongue to press into his mouth. He lets you greedily take what you want, his thumb on your hip drawing nonsensical pictures. But as you shudder against him, completely overwhelmed by this all. Shouto probes his tongue into your mouth, gliding his wet, hot muscle against the roof of your mouth and the back of your teeth until your panting, unable to do anything but absorb him.
“So pretty, so cute when you’re like this. A beautiful doll for her daddy,” Shouto whispers into your mouth, and you can only moan in response. 
“I need daddy,” you speak, your glazed eyes unable to even look at Shouto. “I need daddy so bad.”
“Where does my princess need me?” Shouto speaks, his lips trailing down your slick chin and neck. “Right here?” he asks, sinking his teeth onto your neck and sucking softly.
“A-Aahhh~,” you shudder, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as he continues to place hickey after hickey on your neck, your collarbones, and the spot right behind your ear that makes you melt. “Yes, I need you everywhere… I need daddy’s mouth and cummies in me.”
“Your boobs are so cute, baby girl,” Shouto whispers, and you nearly jump out of your skin when you notice that he’s nosing against your breasts. “So pretty, better than anything I could have hoped for.”
You whine loudly, your body arching off the bed as his hot tongue dips out and licks a pebbled nipple. You pant as he licks again, your fingers burying into his hair.
“Such beautiful nipples, you make your daddy so happy,” Shouto praises, and you gasp loudly as his mouth envelopes your nipple. Your cunt throbs with intriguing want, your socked feet traveling up the line of his leg as his teeth graze and move your nipple in his mouth. “You make me the proudest daddy ever.”
His fingers card down your stomach, trailing and lingering around your cunt, and yet never once touching it. It’s tactical, teasing, and mind spinning. Your clit spasms with needed attention, angry with the teasing, desperate for contact — for attention. You make a noise, something not quite human, unable to pull yourself from your growing fuzzy head as Shouto moves from one nipple to the next.
Shouto chuckles, his eyes of blue and grey flashing up at you dangerously, knowingly.
“Don’t tease me, daddy,” you whisper, hips circling, thrusting into the air where you wish his fingers were.
“Okay,” he promises, and as if he could read your thoughts, his teeth gently bit down on your untouched yet demanding nipple. Your head slams against the mattress, your chest once again feeling alive as if you had been electrocuted. He sucks your nipple, teeth tugging on the sensitive flesh, warm tongue, and spit sinking into your nerves. His fingers taking care of your lonesome nipple, keeping it company with gentle, purposeful rolls as he has you sobbing his name. And when you thought the teasing couldn’t get worse, his fingers finally land where you want it most.
On your clit.
“You’re perfect, angel; I love you so much.”
It happens then, like a warm blanket being placed over you — comforting, warm, making the pain in your body hum with only pleasure, and your body trembles with peaking need.
“I wanna… I wanna do more,” you coo, eyes heavy and feigning intoxication as you look up at your daddy. “I wanna please my daddy!”
Your daddy blinks at you, head tilting before a knowing look flashes across his eyes, and he smiles softly, fingers abandoning their spots to press gently against your cheeks. You don’t even mind, so excited and happy that he’s holding you.
“What do you want, sunshine?”
“Can I please suck daddy’s nipples?” you ask with a hopeful face, “He made me feel so good, and I — I wanna make my daddy feel good too!”
“You wanna suck daddy’s nipples? Okay.”
You giggle loudly as the world spins, and you gasp when you’re suddenly sitting straight up, your wet cunt pressing against his hip bone. You laugh lightly, a bell-like giggle, and your hands press to his chest. “That was so fun!”
“Was it—?”
Your daddy can’t finish his sentence because you caught sight of his dusty brown nipples and launched forward, capturing the soft tissue in your mouth. 
It tastes like your daddy, the salt and unique taste he has. And your tongue lashes at it, your cheeks hollowing as you suck at it some more. It hardens in your mouth, a sensation that has you breaking away from him with a beautiful gasp.
“Am I doing a good job?!” you ask, looking at the pretty pink flush on your daddy’s face as he heaves slightly, flustered and a bit out of breath. “My nipples do that when you do a job, daddy!”
“You’re doing so well,” your daddy informs you, and you laugh excitedly. “Do you want… do you want daddy’s cock now?” 
“Daddy’s cock?” you question, heat rushing to your face at the naughty word. “W-What does that mean?”
“Daddy’s cock is how I can make you feel good,” daddy explains, his fingers trailing up and down your thighs, playing with the hem of your socks. 
You giggle as he snaps at it playfully.
“You’ve been doing such a good job, sunshine, and daddy’s cock hurts and wants to be in you.”
“In me?”
“Mmhm, and when it’s in you, you can get daddy’s cummies,” daddy smiles softly. “You want daddy’s cummies, remember?”
You think about it, unsure if you had wanted it, but then you remember that you had said it.
“Will daddy’s cummies help me? My stomach feels funny, a-and I feel wet.”
Daddy nods fast, his body shifting so that he’s in a sitting position and your wet chest presses against him. It’s a sensation you’re unfamiliar with, and you make an embarrassing squeaking noise at the feeling.
“I promise it’ll make you feel better, sunshine.”
You think about it some more, your arms wrapping around his neck as you think. But soon enough, you find yourself giggling and nodding, “I trust my daddy!”
“I’m so glad you do. Daddy’s so glad his baby girl trusts him.”
And the next thing you know, you’re back on your back, and your daddy looms over you, spreading your legs wide apart. You look down at gasp at the sight of daddy’s cock.
“It’s so big!” you shriek, “Where is that going, daddy?!”
“This is going right… there,” daddy emphasizes, pressing two fingers into a part of your body that has you speechless. It’s an intrusion you’re almost unfamiliar with, and yet it makes your head spin and your body hot with need and action from him. “I promise it’ll feel so good; I’ll make you feel so good.”
“O-Okay,” you whimper, watching your daddy pull something against the length of his cock before pressing the swollen head to the entrance that made you feel funny in a good way. “I’m ready, daddy.”
“I’m so glad,” your daddy smiles, and with a gentle kiss to your temple, he presses his cock into you.
“DADDY!” you shriek as his cock pressed into you, filling you out and stretching you out completely. The sensation is overwhelming, piercing pleasure slamming through your body as your arms and legs wrap around him in a vice-like grip. 
Daddy’s arms wrap around your waist, pulling you in close as his hips begin rutting in and out of you. The sensation, the rhythm, is constant and is intoxicating. The creak of the mattress and the loud, grateful cries of your mouth into the crook of his neck fills the room. And then he shifts you just a bit, his hips able to thrust further, more profound, into you, and a wanton, nearly voluptuous noise escapes your mouth. 
“Kiss me, daddy!” you cry, head thrusting back into the mattress, pleasure saturating so deep in your brain you can’t think anymore. “Kiss me, please! Kiss me, kiss me, kissmekissmekiss—”
His mouth is over yours, hot pants and wrecked breathing is passed between open parted lips. Your tongue pushes against his teeth, unable to find his tongue as your hips swirl and thrust up into his thrust cock. Every thrust sends daddy’s cock deeper into your pulling, demanding cunt, stretching you out, sending you further out in an unimaginable way. Your walls spasm uncontrollably, clenching and tightening without a single input. 
But soon, daddy’s shifting up onto his knees, and you can only wildly cry out for him when his arms shift from keeping you close to pressing behind your knees and shoving your knees into the mattress by your shoulders. The most primal, deranged moan rips from your mouth as the stretch sends his cock to a place in your cunt you never could imagine existing. You shake like a child against him, fingers scraping at his back, tearing his skin as your heels dig into his back. The head of his cock buries and brushes against your cervix, making you cry and see colors you’ve never seen before in your life. Your praises for your daddy are endless, and his powerful pounding sends the headboard of your bed crashing against the wall harder and harder.
“How are you feeling, bunny?” Daddy grunts, his face contorted with pleasure and the need to look at you. “Do you feel my cock in you? Can you feel daddy’s cock hitting your cervix?”
“D-Daddy, I-I — ohhh my god!” you sob, your hips pathetically rutting up and down against his cock, stupidly furthering how deep his cock can go, your cervix melting with pleasure, making you oh so dizzy. You can only blabber. “Daddy’s cock is so big, it’s so good! It’s making my stomach feel so funny! I’m so scared!”
“Don’t be scared,” your daddy pleads against your neck, though his speed and strength doesn’t lessen. “Your stomach feeling funny is a good thing; it’s supposed to happen! I promise you, this is how it's supposed to happen. Okay?”
“Okay, daddy, okay, okay, okay,” your voice lessened to a senseless babble. Your sentences blurring together, and your cheek pressed into the mattress, and drool pooled from your lips. 
His pace is completely irreplicable now; every maddening powerful thrust of his hips sends the headboard into the wall. The wet slapping echoing throughout the room when he pierces into you almost drowned out both of your senseless cries. 
It almost scared you, the sensation foreign, but his gentle reminder that this was normal, that you would be okay, kept you from spiraling. Slick erupts in your cunt, an overwhelming heat that throbs right in your core, coating your thighs and your stomach, and with every slam of his hips, it grows only more. 
Intensifying. 
Exhilarating. 
The temperature of your body sizzles off you in immense heat. His lips press against yours, a maddening escape of lust and need exchanging between your parted lips. Your saliva is everywhere, covering both of your faces — connecting them even when you part. But that didn’t stop him; it only fueled him to kiss you entirely, wordlessly praising you, engulfing you with his mouth, daring you with his tongue.
You were barely keeping up with his snapping hips, your mouth begging for more when he suckled on your tongue.
“It’s feeling so funny!” you suddenly cry as your daddy’s fingers pinch and rub against something between your legs that sends electric waves throughout every nerve in your body. “I feel like Imma pee, daddy! I can’t stop it! I can’t stop!”
“It’s okay, let it happen,” your daddy grunts into your ear, and with that, the calming steady of his voice, you let the heat, the tightness in your stomach you feel like is piss, slam through you. 
A tingling, white noise power sensation slams through your entire body. You arch into your daddy, your scream dying on your tongue as your body thumps with a full-body heartbeat. It sends your toes curling, your fingernails scarring his back, and a pathetic, pleasure-derived sob released into your daddy’s sweaty neck. 
His thrusting keeps up for a bit, letting your clenching and relaxing cunt finish him until his thrusts border sloppy, and with a final thrust that has your fingers trembling, he stops, collapsing onto you.
You don’t know what happens next, only that for one moment too long, it’s silent with only heaving breathing and incredibly warm body heat. Your eyes close, and you’re out before you even know it.
.
.
.
You open your eyes to a dark room.
Shouto is next to you, his eyebrows furrowed slightly as he holds a wet, warm cloth to your body, gently cleaning you up.
“Holy shit,” you murmur, your voice scratchy and nearly blown. “Did I drop and pass out after cumming?”
Shouto jumped at your voice, looking up at your face with a tired but satisfied grin, “You did.”
You laugh softly, not quite humorlessly, not entirely because you were amused. You sit up, groaning at how your lower body screams in pain; well, it seemed that your drop really did hide any pain.
“That was fun,” you grin, eyes closing as Shouto presses the cloth to your neck, cleaning the sweat and saliva there. “Glad I decided to speak up on that — ow!”
You pouted as Shouto retreated his pinching fingers from your ribcage.
“You didn’t speak up; you acted out and then spoke up,” Shouto chuckled, sighing as he leaned backward, allowing for you to stretch your tired limbs.
“I still managed to say my truth,” you grin, taking the wet cloth from his hands and focusing on his body. Shouto sat there, still and silent, as you gingerly cleaned… everything off him.
“Well, if we’re saying our truths, can I ask something?” Shouto murmurs, so unlike his typical confident demur. You pause for a moment before nodding, continuing to clean the broken skin on his body. “Would you like to be my girlfriend? I-I know this is cheesy and all, but I feel like I want you outside of our arrangement, outside of the dynamic.”
You can’t help but laugh, making Shouto look panicked, even if for a bit.
“I thought I was the only one.”
.
.
.
“Sero, psst, Sero!” Mina whispers loudly, hitting her friend in the back of the head with an eraser.
“Shit, what?” Sero hisses, a slight annoyance in his face from being hit.
“Look!”
Sero follows Mina’s pointed finger over where you and Shouto sat, in the middle of your own world despite it being smack in the middle of the lecture. He scanned your bodies more intensely and froze at the sight of purple and red bruises on both your necks.
“Is that—?!”
“YES!!!”
“HOLY SHIT! WE CALLED IT!”
“Sero!” boomed the voice of Aizawa, their scariest professor ever. “Is there something you would like to share with the class?”
Sero freezes, an awkward smile blooming on his face as he shrugs, “I’m just noticing some hickies today, that’s all!”
There could have been no casualties in this admittance; after all, Aizawa didn’t give two shits about hickies on university students. But the loud, panicked “shit!” coming from you was undoubtedly damning. 
Shouto snickered, his fingers tugging at the collar of your shirt as his fingers brushed against the collection of bruises, “I think they look nice.”
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wickedpact · 4 years
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dear tumblr user crim wickedpact pls write the essay/dissertation about nicky being shakespeare's fair youth (if you have time, ofc!!)
Not To Imply Nicky Was Shakespeare’s Fair Youth But Ive Read The Fair Youth Sonnets & Nicky Was Definitely Shakespeare’s Fair Youth, an essay by me, tumblr user crim wickedpact
background knowledge: our man shakespeare wrote some 120 sonnets about a young man referred to as the Fair Youth during the mid 1590s; there has been some debate among shakespeare enthusiasts whether shakespeare’s interest in the Fair Youth was platonic or romantic (but like. they were definitely romantic). no one knows for sure who the Fair Youth was, but it was definitely nicky and my first and most important piece of evidence regarding this hypothesis is the ‘lmao babe do you remember that guy who had a crush on me?’/ ‘i try not to remember the guy who had a crush on you’ look joe and nicky exchange when Merrick brings up shakespeare during the movie. especially since gina confirmed in a tweet that joe and nicky canonly did know shakespeare
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my second piece of evidence is that it just Works (except for a couple small facts like.. the Fair Youth was prolly closer to his 20s than his 30s. and the fact that shakespeare implies that the Fair Youth slept with his mistress at one point. but he doesnt know what hes talking about shhh we IGNORE)
long post under cut
A. The Description Matches
when describing the Fair Youth (who I’ll call the FY from now on), shakespeare says he has a ‘gold complexion’ and ‘beautiful eyes’ and compares him to a ‘summer’s day’. He says the FY has “A woman’s gentle heart" and “An eye more bright than [women’s are], (...) Gilding the object whereupon [they] gazeth”
As much as shakespeare’s perceptions of sexuality and gender are very........  late 1500′s (whoo boy sonnet #20 is a wild ride) ...... the description does match, and also:
  B. The Fair Youth Refused to Get Married
it’s never really said why one way or another (shakespeare assumes it’s because the FY is selfish) but the FY didn’t/wouldn’t take on a wife and have a kid, and this was something that was a real sticker for our man Willy S. because, as he says in his sonnets a million times: beauty doesn’t last forever, but having a child not only passes down the FY’s beauty, but also blesses the woman the FY would have a child with (im not saying shakespeare wanted to bear the FY’s children, but he definitely did)
Whose fresh repair if now thou not renewest, Thou dost beguile the world, unbless some mother. For where is she so fair whose uneared womb Disdains the tillage of thy husbandry?
(ie. If you don’t renew yourself/ have children, you deprive the world and deprive a woman from having your child, since what woman out there is so beautiful that she wouldn’t want to bear your child?)
Like.
1.) if nicky is the FY then so many of these poems center around the idea of nicky growing old sometime soon and that must have been pretty funny to Nicky and
2.)  the fact that shakespeare would have been So Desperate for nicky to find a wife must have been the opposite of funny to joe. considering the ease of his and nicky’s relationship and the fact that being gay in late 1500s england was probably not a walk in the park, it is very likely shakespeare wouldn’t have known they were in a committed relationship-- or at least not known how close they actually were. Thus:
  C. The Rival (aka. Joe)
shakespeare mentions having a poetic rival in regards to the FY in several sonnets. In sonnet #21 he talks about how he’s not like Those Other Writers who use grand metaphors to talk about their muses
So is it not with me as with that Muse, Stirred by a painted beauty to his verse, Who heaven itself for ornament doth use And every fair with his fair doth rehearse, Making a couplement of proud compare With sun and moon, with earth and sea's rich gems, With April's first-born flowers, and all things rare,
(ie. I’m not like other poets who, when inspired by a ‘painted beauty’ use heaven and every other beautiful thing on the planet to make a grand comparison to their muse: he specifically lists the sun and moon as examples as well as other beautiful things)
He then goes on to say
And then believe me, my love is as fair As any mother's child, though not so bright As those gold candles fixed in heaven's air:
(ie. my love [the FY] is as beautiful as any other beautiful person, though I wouldn’t compare them to the stars/heavens (which is what he means by the 'gold candles’. those are stars.))
So shakespeare insults poets who compare their subjects to the sun, moon, and stars (amongst other things) and in the comics, Joe does literally exactly that
That man is the stars in my sky, and the sun that lights my days. That man is the moon when I'm lost in darkness, and warmth when I shiver in cold.
shakespeare also goes on to say in the same sonnet “Let them say more that like of hearsay well / I will not praise that purpose not to sell” which is to say ‘let people who like that kind of language use it, I wont because I don’t want anyone else to have the subject of my affections (the FY)’.
(which is a bit of a contradiction regarding his feelings abt the FY getting married, but these sonnets are full of contradictions. shakespeare was a confused dude; man spent the first 100 or so sonnets convinced the FY loved him back only for him to start wondering if the FY ever loved him near the end)
(not to mention Marriage For Love wasnt really.. much of a thing in Ye Olden Times but thats a different conversation. so shakespeare prolly didnt associate marriage with love/competition? anyways)
Shakesy-boo goes on to complain about this rival several times. In #79, he says
Yet what of thee thy poet doth invent He robs thee of, and pays it thee again. He lends thee virtue, and he stole that word From thy behaviour; beauty doth he give, And found it in thy cheek: he can afford No praise to thee, but what in thee doth live.
(ie. everything ‘your poet’ (as the FY apparently favored this unnamed rival) says about you, he takes it from you in the first place. he talks about your virtue, but learned the word from watching your behavior. he calls you beautiful but only discovered beauty by looking at your face. every compliment he gives you he took from you in the first place)
[and, as a smaller example, he also bemoans the fact that people want to paint the FY in #67, saying, “Why should false painting imitate his cheek, / And steal dead seeming of his living hue?”. and yknow. Joe’s an artist.]
And then another example in #86
Was it the proud full sail of [the rival’s] great verse, Bound for the prize of all too precious you, That did my ripe thoughts in my brain inhearse, Making their tomb the womb wherein they grew?
Was it his spirit, by spirits taught to write Above a mortal pitch, that struck me dead?
(ie. he’s talking about how he’s having difficulty writing abt the FY and is rhetorically asking if ‘the proud sail’ of the rival’s verses was the reason his ‘ripe thoughts’ were killed in their ‘womb’. He then asks (again rhetorically) if it was the rival’s ‘spirit’ (or creativity, maybe) ‘’’‘by spirits taught to write’’’’ that killed his own drive to write. none of the analyses I’ve read really explain what shakespeare means by ‘spirits taught to write’, other than maybe being a joke or reference to something we dont know, but... ‘taught by dead people to write in a way mortal people can’t’ very much sounds like a description of an immortal poet, eh?)
Which brings me to,
  D. Willy Boy Thinks There Are 500 Year Old Writings About the Fair Youth
shakespeare talks about people having written about the FY ‘500 years ago’ from the late 1500s in #59 which......................... would have been around 1100 AD. :thinking face:
Oh that record could with a backward look, Even of five hundred courses of the sun, Show me your image in some antique book, Since mind at first in character was done, That I might see what the old world could say To this composed wonder of your frame;
(ie. Oh if I could look back 500 years and see how you were described in some old books so I could see/reference what people used to write about you)
Which again brings me to,
  E. I’m Not Saying shakespeare Stole From Joe, But:
1.) In #22, shakespeare says this,
For all that beauty that doth cover thee, Is but the seemly raiment of my heart, Which in thy breast doth live, as thine in me: 
(ie, your beauty is due to the ‘clothes’ my heart gives you-- probably means something like ‘you’re beautiful because i love you’. goes on to say his heart lives in the FY’s chest, and the FY’s heart lives in shakespeare’s chest)
so: shakespeare tells the FY he has shakespeare’s heart. in comparison, Joe calls nicky ‘my heart’ in the comics...... :thinking face x2:
2.) In #109, shakespeare tells the FY ‘thou art my all’,
For nothing this wide universe I call, Save thou, my rose, in it thou art my all.
which rings similar to Joe’s ‘he’s all and he’s more’ as well as (from the comics) ‘he is my everything’
and just saying. joe looks pretty #done the mention of shakespeare.
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  F. The last One
Despite shakespeare writing 30+ poems about the FY eventually growing old, the very last poem he writes about/for the FY says,
O thou, my lovely boy, who in thy power Dost hold Time's fickle glass, his sickle hour; Who hast by waning grown, and therein showest Thy lovers withering, as thy sweet self growest. 
(ie. you [the FY] have power over the ‘mirror’ (fickle glass) of time as well as time’s ‘harvesting’ ability (sickle hour) and as you grow older, you remain beautiful while your lovers [shakespeare] wither and grow old)
The transition from ‘get married and have a baby before you get old!!!!’ in #1-20 to talking about the FY’s presence in 500 y/o books in #59 to admitting the FY isn’t growing old in #126 kinda seems to imply shakespeare learning of/about nicky’s immortality at some point, and this last poem is him accepting it.
TLDR: not only does it make perfect sense if nicky was the Fair Youth from the FY sonnets, but it also makes perfect sense if joe was the Rival from the FY sonnets. its canon nothing will convince me otherwise
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the-broken-truth · 3 years
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I really engoy your writing and may i ask if you could make a re8 hc how would the Lord's be with a stone top S/O( same sex somebody who gives but doesn't receive alot of times) (I wrote this ask but forgot to write something in)
Broken Truth: A Stone-Top, huh? Never heard of that before. So - it's a person who gives in a relationship but doesn't receive. This shall be interesting. Let the words weave together!
[Alcina Dimitrescu]
Alcina woke up to yet another bottle of rare vintage wine waiting for her in her study when she decided to do the numbers of the month's intake and exports.
Well, she would have done that if it wasn't already done for her and placed in neat stacks in folders with date stickers on the flap.
Not to mention, her study was spotless - how can someone get bloodstains out of the carpet? Alcina thought it was impossible.
There was only one person who could have done this and she was going to talk some sense into her.
[Y/N] [L/N] was the lover of Alcina Dimitrescu and the 'Mama' of the Dimitrescu Daughters.
She was the only human who respected them for what they were and helped them with whatever they needed.
She would cook for them when they asked about dishes from her past in the human world.
She would find things that would interest them and get that thing for Alcina or her daughters.
When she found out that Alcina loved vintage wines - she made connections with the Vineyard of France and they began sending crates containing ten bottles of wine to Castle Dimitrescu every month - [Y/N] would give Alcina 2 bottles a week and whatever she didn't drink was placed in the wine room that [Y/N] made from one of the old rooms Alcina never used.
What Alcina and the daughters didn't like was that [Y/N] would do everything for everyone but refused to let anyone do something for her.
She gave so much but didn't receive anything.
She would say: "You can have it, you would use it much better than could." Then she would walk off before anyone could tell her anything.
Alcina loved her mortal and she wanted to give her the world.
First, she had to figure out a way to get her to accept the world.
[Donna Beneviento]
Donna opened the box and gave a sad smile at its contents - new doll parts made of different types of wood & rolls of different kinds of fabrics; wool, cotton, silks, and everything else under the sun and moon.
This was everything the doll maker could ask for when it came to making her doll but she was upset at the fact her lover gave them to her.
She wasn't ungrateful but she knew that she couldn't do anything for her lover - what can you do for a woman who would give you everything but won't accept anything?
Donna looked into the den at watched as her romantic partner - [Y/N] [L/N] - sat there with her eyes focused on the book in her hands. Donna loved her with everything she was, and she wasn't the only one; Angie and all the dolls loved her as if she was part of the Beneviento Family.
[Y/N] accepted everything about Donna: from the scar on her face to the High Priestess she called her Mother. [Y/N] give Donna, Angie, and the Dolls her time, skill, and love to make them feel like a real family but they were secretly upset that they couldn't do the same for her.
She would give but never take.
She would provide but never allow herself to be taken care of for a moment.
Donna wanted to return the love [Y/N] gave to her somehow but how was she going to do that if it wouldn't be accepted?
Maybe she could use her pollen to find out why her girlfriend is the ultimate provider then she can learn how to provide for her.
[Salvatore Moreau]
"Beloved, I brought you something to drink." The 3rd Lord said as he watched the man who loved him more than anything hammer away at the wall of the new house he was building for Moreau.
"That's alright, My Darling. I'm alright. You can have it, I don't want you to get hot for being out of your water for too long." The man said as he continued to hammer away at the wall.
Salvatore looked at the drink in his hand with disappointment.
Why won't his love let him take care of him just as he takes care of him?
It had been a year since Salvatore met [Y/N] - a beefcake of a man with a heart made out of teddy bear fluffy. [Y/N] gave Sal real love, something that no one - not even the mother he idealized - would give him.
When Sal had his freak-outs - [Y/N] was right there to hold him and whisper sweet nothings in her ear until he calmed down but he would still hold him.
When Sal threw up in front of him - [Y/N] did some research at Sal's old clinic on plants that help soothe an upset stomach and made an herbal elixir that helped him relax his stomach and stopped him from throwing up. He has the drink it every month, it has a funny taste but it's worth it.
When he laid eyes on the place Sal calls him - [Y/N] used his power (Superstrength) to clear the reservoir of debris and cleared the lake of anything that wasn't water, plants, or fish; Salvatore was really happy about being able to swim around with crashing or bumping into anything.
Once the lake was clear, [Y/N] began construction of the new dock and new house for Salvatore to live in.
He would do all this for Sal but refused any kindness from Sal if it wasn't his loving words.
Sal wanted to do something for the man who gave him everything...but how is that possible when he won't accept anything?
[Karl Heisenberg]
"Babe! You need any help with that?" The 4th Lord asked the man across the room from him - working on some new kind of machine that Karl never saw before.
"No, Love. Thanks." The man answered as he dropped the wrench and picked a screwdriver.
"[Y/N], you've been working that for 3 days without rest; take a rest, Babe," Karl said as he removed his glasses.
"I'm good, love. Thanks for being considered. You should rest - the army is going to need its leader."
Karl hated when his boyfriend was like this - he would overwork himself for the sake of Karl's Army but would be pissed off if the actual Army Leader tried to work more than 6 hours a day on his own project.
That wasn't far to [Y/N] but he wouldn't listen to Karl when the 4th Lord tried to take care of him.
He was hardheaded in that regard.
Karl wanted to do something as a thank you to [Y/N] for helping him make his army better but the mortal wouldn't accept anything.
Hell, he even made Karl's Hammer ore badass.
Oh, did he forget the mention the metal horse that Karl rides whenever he wants that never gets tired or breaks? How the hell did the human know to make something like that?!
Karl had to do something for his boyfriend and he was going to make him accept it somehow.
That man had done too much for Karl for him not to get something I return somehow.
[End]
Broken Truth: I hope I did that right. Never heard of a Stone-Top before.
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details from the trailer i don’t see anyone talking about
1. people are talking about Ryan’s Bowie look because it’s essentially thrown at you, and Bowie is an iconic musician but there’s a different flashback scene where he’s wearing a Lion t-shirt, which was a glam metal band from the mid-80s
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this pretty much cements the theory that book four will take place in the 80s for me—especially considering a lot of the songs on the spotify playlist that’s been going around are also from glam rock artists around this period
2. i don’t think the scenes where Ryan has a tie around his head take place on the train though this could just be an animation error (his hand isn’t glowing)
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my guess would be that this takes place directly before the dispute at the train station, probably their first show.  maybe min-gi was bothered or upset ryan’s energy or attitude at  the show. 
3.that being said they are shown in their civilian clothes on the train. 
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here they are. with kez. in their normal clothes and the gravity boot things. ryan has his guitar but min-gi doesn’t have his stylophone (which he is holding in the scene where Ryan has the tie on his head)
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4. the clip is edited to make it look like the astronauts are cheering at Ryan’s performance.  but the performance probably doesn’t take place on the train. this, of course, means that the astronauts are cheering at something else. 
further proof? the boys have already changed into their jumpsuits by the time they arrive at the astronaut car.
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5. several times throughout the trailer we see min-gi holding one of these astronaut helmets.  his hair is messed up, so maybe he was wearing it to get into the astronaut-concert-thing. 
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or maybe it’s from one of the astronauts in the astronaut car.  either way it seems to be a really significant symbol to min-gi’s growth as a character.  something important is going to happen in the astronaut car. 
6. the trailer leads us to believe that ryan and min-gi wake up on the train in their jumpsuits and immediately meet kez.  they clearly don’t, given that they are seen without their jumpsuits and with kez in the museum car (see point 3). other moments from the trailer where they can be seen on the train in their civilian clothes?
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this is the same scene.  i don’t even want to know what’s happening here because it seems... extremely depressing.  it’s probably on the gangway between cars, given the color of the sky.  my guess is it probably takes place after the museum car—though the coloring and dramatic nature make it seem very late in the season. 
7. a go-home portal door also seems to manifest on the gangway—seemingly for ryan, given how the trailer is edited—and it’s undercut with the line “i won’t leave you.” but personally i think this was edited purposefully this way for dramatic effect.  it’s interesting how much of this trailer takes place on the gangway, though.
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8. going back to the astronaut car. this is the car where ryan does the puppy dog eyes. falls and is saved my min-gi.  and something happens to the helmet i was talking about earlier. something also maybe happens to kez, which is unclear?
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9. which brings us to. why are they presenting the iceberg car as the beginning? we’ve established that they are on the train in their civilian clothes with kez at some point, yet the iceberg car is presented as them meeting kez.  i mean maybe they could change back into their normal clothes at some point... but that doesn’t make much sense. 
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dide they get their memory wiped? eternal sunshine of the spotless mind is one of the songs in the playlist.  but why wouldn’t kez recognize them? 
10. last of all. this is a question for y’all.  what do the stickers on the back of ryan’s guitar case mean? i was researching all morning but i couldn’t find anything. if you know anything, please let me know.
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i have more smaller details i noticed that i might add later (the inverse canadian flag just seems to be a coloring error, for example, as the real flag is shown on ryan’s map) but for now that’s what i leave you with
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matthewbeilschmidts · 3 years
Text
It’s been a long while since I’ve posted but I’m so glad that I am :’)
This is for Day 1: of @prucanweek - Ordinary
Apologies for spelling errors, it’s a little short but I hope you enjoy 😭💞
-
Matthew doesn’t mind that he’s living an ordinary life. Really.
He grows up near the coast, two parents, a fraternal twin brother, and their gangly hairless cat, Tony (picked curtesy of Alfred). Their parents take them everywhere they can during their childhood, the beach, museums, sports game. They focus on their interests, figuring out what the two like and dislike, as they encourage them both to be themselves and do what they love no matter what. Alfred debates between whether he likes wrestling or football more, while Matthew settles into hockey. In between family get togethers, community festivals, and endless sports training, they somehow have time for homework. (The two share answers a lot.)
He and Alfred each have their own rooms when they enter their teen years, a space to decorate and fill with their own mementos and awards. The sports continue, but later their parents find themselves a little bit busier than before. They do though, give them as much time as they can during the school year, never wanting them to go without someone by their side.
Matthew fades into the background a little bit as they get older, while Alfred puts himself front and center. Matthew watches once with a hand over his eyes as Alfred auditions for the school musical, and surprisingly he read and sings the lines well. “It’s always the rowdy ones!” their theater teachers says after he’s finished performing, a mix of anticipation from planning on putting Alfred on stage and dread at the thought of having to manage him.
Matthew silently supports him, after all he has his own things to do.
He’s the co-caption of the hockey team, the coach giving him the position to give him a little more of a voice, and his teammates verbally agree, considering on the ice Matthew has a lot more to show than he does in person. He accepts, albeit hesitantly.
By the time graduation comes by, Matthew can barely believe how the time has passed. His team even wins a championship under his watch. Some of his fellow classmates look so ready to go out and experience the world, and it’s scary to him because weren’t they all going at the same pace?
His parents talk him through picking his college of choice, and he decides to go. He needs to do what everyone does and experience the world.
And if he decides he wants to come home, that’s okay because at least he tries.
-
He’s in his first art class during his third year at university. The time has been going well, he’s got pretty decent grades and has managed to join a few clubs. But he’s not done yet. Extra curriculars, can’t finish without them. He prioritizes his general education first, and even slips himself into a few major classes early on, but humanities is on record now and has to be completed no matter what one’s studying.
He can get through one semester, he hopes.
Next to him, a student is snickering and the professor doesn’t look amused.
“Gilbert.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“If you’re done, I can introduce myself now.”
The professor goes in with complete, in-depth introductory slides with her name and credentials, and a briefing of all they will overcome this semester.
He’s never been an artist, at least not one that picks up a pencil and creates a realistic masterpiece with nothing but that and a pad of paper. Maybe some poetry contests in high school, if that counts. The written word has its own impact, its own set of colors to breathe out for the world to see.
There’s another snicker, interrupting his internal monologue.
He doesn’t say anything, because he doesn’t know the student, and it’s not his place to control others. But, if it starts to hinder the class, maybe he’ll tell him something. He’s paying to be there, too.
The man catches him staring.
“Yes?” he asks Matthew without being spoken to in the first place.
“Oh,” Matthew flushes at being caught, not that he was trying to hide it anyway. “Well, she didn’t say anything funny?”
The guys waves a hand, making a “psssh” noise as he does.
“I’m just laughing because of how formal this all is. She won’t be this dignified later in the semester that’s for sure. She’ll be ripping her hair out.”
Matthew glances back, he doesn’t want to say anyone looks mean but, he would believe it if she was.
“You look scared,” the guy laughs, which is rude because isn’t he the one that just put the thought in Matthew’s mind? “She’s not too mean just a sticker to the rules. Will get real pissy if something doesn’t go right.”
“And you still set her off knowing that?”
The man laughs again, but this time around he’s actually trying to contain it behind the thin art easel. He’s not very hidden.
“She’s my cousin’s wife.”
Ah, that makes sense then? Messing with family is normal, but also he shouldn’t be bothering her at work.
“It’s no wonder you seemed casual.”
“She taught both of the lower division figure drawing classes, too. This is my third semester in her class. She’s the only one teaching this specific class I didn’t have too much of a choice.”
“Art major?”
“Yep! And you?”
“Psychology major. I have to get in some cultural classes.”
“Ever taken art?”
“Actually no, not even in high school. I got through that stuff by working backstage in the theater department.”
“Well not to worry my friend, because you picked the best one.”
“Is it easy to pass?”
“Nope. Well, maybe if she likes your work,” Matthew deflates at the blunt response, “but don’t worry because I’m here to be your guide.”
Matthew perks up, but it takes him a moment. This guy’s gonna help him?
“Are you any good?”
“Am I good?” He looks perplexed Matthew would even ask. Matthew has to cover his own amusement. “I may not look it but charcoal and I go way back. I’ll show you my work later as proof.”
“Deal.”
“Gilbert, since you’re adamant on talking, you can be the first to introduce yourself.”
Even if his name wasn’t said, Matthew feels just as guilty. Caught, for talking on the first day of all things.
“Gilbert Beilshcmidt. Fourth year. I’m an art major and my favorite breakfast food is pancakes.”
Matthew looks surprised that he was paying attention, even to the last addition of their introduction. Matthew’s not sure he would have known considering he was distracted.
-
And so their friendship starts.
-
Gilbert sits next to him again. And again.
Where ever Matthew sits in the art room, Gilbert follows not too long after.
Some days they take the sitting desks, some they stand and lean against the stools.
And despite not even talking much, Gilbert treats him like a friend.
-
“Do you have any plans this afternoon?”
“Nope, this was my last class.”
“Do you want to get some coffee and work on our sketch books.”
“Yeah, let’s go.”
-
Matthew finds himself meeting Gilbert in his downtime. Every Thursday after drawing for three hours becomes the day they meet. At first, all they do is draw, little more.
Gilbert is animated in all moments, but he has short spurts where he focuses exceptionally on his work. Matthew is no art critic, but he thinks Gilbert expresses himself quite well on paper. Graphite, charcoal, and pastels, all the utensils glide easily without a single stroke missing its mark.
Watercolor though, could use some work, which actually happens to be Matthew’s favorite. Even if the intention is to guide the colors with a brush, it’s okay for them to take a life of their own spreading across the thick paper.
They share snacks, art supplies, and their time.
Gilbert proves himself very useful as he promised. Matthew though never planning to be the next Van Gogh, has to pass this class. And it would be nice to pass it with flying colors, but some concepts are harder to grasp than others.
It’s obvious to tell he’s a beginner, while Gilbert excels. Matthew finds out he only now needs the intro class since it’s the first semester it became a requirement.
Gilbert helps him find the shapes he’s comfortable with, explains the processing for hatching and how it relates to shading. And while he’s no expert, he sees a subtle improvement over the next few weeks that makes some pride swell within himself.
-
“Do you want to come with me and my friends to this cool bar for dinner on Friday?” Gilbert asks about a month into the semester.
It’s the first time Gilbert and him will have spent time off campus.
“Yeah, I’d love to.”
-
Gilbert’s friends are just as animated as he, it’s almost hard to keep up. Overwhelming as they are, they’re extremely welcoming. Matthew eases into the atmosphere, joining in when he can but mostly pleased to be out and doing something different.
He’s made friends during his time, but like him they’re a little more reserved and pick quieter places on the town.
It’s fun. And he wants to go out again.
Matthew invites Gilbert and his friends to watch his next hockey game.
After their shock in finding out he plays such a violent sport, they’re all agreeing and planning to find the best seats in the arena.
-
“Are you serious. Are you hiding muscles under that red sweater?”
Gilbert pokes at him, it tickles when he gets closer to his biceps, but he knows he’s only teasing.
“You think I’m playing but I’m serious! You should have been there, well you were there. On the stands, I mean. We all screamed after you sent that player flying against the wall.”
Gilbert recreates the motions, but only slams himself into the wall and whines after he bounces back. He then plays it off like it doesn’t hurt. Gilbert’s not a very good actor.
People tell him it’s so much different watching him on the ice, but it’s still him. He’s always wondered how much different, he feels like himself. He just knows he goes into the zone when he’s in his gear. He just wants to win. And he will.
“It’s like night day,” Gilbert continues. “You were ready to kill a man down there.”
“You’re not the first to say that. I guess maybe, I could be a little more out there in real life, huh?”
Gilbert stops walking.
“Nope.”
“Nope?”
“You’re perfectly fine the way you are. I like the way you are, so don’t go change. I don’t want to be at risk of dying during art class.”
And as silly as it sounds, he’s pleased. He likes Gilbert a whole lot, too. Just the way he is.
-
“Do you want to have dinner with me?” Matthew takes the initiative.
“Dinner?”
“Yeah, just you and me. I want to take you out.”
“Like you did to that guy on the court,” Gilbert laughs nervously.
“On a date. Gilbert, would you like go out with me?”
He says yes.
Later that evening when he’s heading home, Gilbert starts running through the courtyard cheering that “I have a date with the cutest guy I’ve ever met!”
Matthew’s window is open, he’s face is bright red and he slams head first into his pillow. He needs to plan the best first date ever.
-
Three months into dating, he’s finally heading home again for a school break. He wants to take Gilbert with him, who is waiting for the next major holiday to go back home. But isn’t it too soon? They haven’t been dating that long, after all.
But Gilbert surprises him, and jokingly says he wants to go with him because he’ll miss him too much while he’s gone. And then, Matthew asks if he seriously wants to go.
“I do.”
So they ride the 3 hours train down to Matthew’s childhood home. He’s a little bit nervous, because he’s had dates to school dances, and brought friends over, but this is entirely different. This is someone he wants to take a serious step with, even if the time hasn’t been that long. They’ll never get anywhere if they don’t, so they’ll both take the leap and pray it works out.
“Mom, dad, Alfred, this is Gilbert.”
It’s the most timid Matthew’s ever seen him.
“Nice to meet ya, I’m Matthew’s boyfriend.”
After he shakes all their hands, he takes his hand back to link pinkies with Matthew.
There’s not an once of regret in his mind as the long weekend passes.
-
Gilbert graduates the next year, and the year after it’s his turn. They’re going to move in with each other. Gilbert really has no irresistible urge to go back to his home town, satisfied with just visiting a few times a year. And Matthew thinks he would like to go back closer, just to figure out his next move. So, they go together.
It’s only a one bedroom, but is more than enough space for them both. Gilbert finds work as a docent while Matthew works for a second degree in education.
He still plays hockey for a local league, Gilbert becoming their number one fan. They find their own rhythm, a pace that works for them both, where they can settle down or speed up when they agree with each other. Dewey mornings, warm summers, chilly evenings they spend them altogether.
They decide move up North closer to Gilbert’s hometown. Matthew’s more nervous meeting his grandparents than he was introducing Gilbert to his own family, but Gilbert assures him again and again they’re just a stuffy old family who actually really care about each other a lot more than they let off.
Gilbert’s grandfather towers over him, despite being a hair above 6 feet. He’s silent, eyes boring into Matthew as he introduces himself. And to end all of Matthew’s worries, the elder man pulls Matthew into a hug and tells him he’s glad him and Gilbert are home. Gilbert, just as perplexed as he, stares, but he melts into a pleased laugh.
Yeah, this is his and Gilbert’s home now.
-
They stay, for a long while, contemplate moving a few times, but they’re satisfied for now.
Gilbert and him always make time for each other, continue their own respective interests with complete support of the other. They’re never afraid to complain, because they always work through it rather then let it simmer.
Gilbert’s vivacious spirit keep them going, and Matthew’s heart keeps them grounded.
His life at first seem a little bit ordinary, but how can he complain when the pieces of the puzzle fit themselves in and stayed locked in tight.
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