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aknosde · 3 years

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i’ve asked this before to other people but im curious about your answer; if the god’s blood is golden and human’s is red shouldn’t demigods have a combination of those colors?

*take this as seriously as u want lol*

Y’know, when you first sent this months ago I wrote out a really in-depth response where I went into biology and the like, and then I came back to work on it and it disappeared. That haunts me to this day because I just let this sit, but I finally have energy to go ham on this again so here we go.

I think to look at this you really have to look at the gods. Many, many people have written posts about parentage and genetics, and if I find my favorite I’ll link it here, but the two schools of thought that most people work under are A) that gods have no DNA or B) that gods become people when they do the do. Both of which would have interesting impacts, but primarily I dismiss A because that would mean all children are essentially clones of their parents, which we know is not the case. (however if you did subscribe to that, it would mean that all campers that aren’t the same gender as their mortal parent would be trans which is really cool)

So, B) gods become people with DNA. So, the nitty gritty, do gods change their appearance when they “”become“” human? We know they can from actual mythology. I suspect that they have preferences, and those are what demigods/mortals can see, so Zeus dresses and looks like a snotty white businessman on purpose for some reason. Okay neat. God sees some mortal they want to get with, god makes themself a “”human“” body and screws around with genetics until it’s what they want. And these genetics get passed down to their offspring. Evidence being that Percy is told he looks like a photocopy of Poseidon (i don’t subscribe to Poseidon or Percy being white, btw, but evidence still applies)

But they’re still godly, still divine. And this is where we reach another barrier, because what is inside of them? When Percy fights Ares, he bleeds gold. But Ares wasn’t on Earth or in mock human form with the purpose of making babies, he was there to beat the shit out of a twelve year old. There’s no answer. Unless I turn this boat around and talk about where the greek gods get their power because that would impact their health. Percy is more powerful in water and Clarisse receives the blessing of Ares while fighting a war, so let’s take that and say that Gods receive power from whatever they are the god of, and the health of those things. Another example being Poseidon all worn out while the oceans are so messed up in TLO. A god in their element has some more juice.

And this is why, in a really roundabout way, I think that the red vs. gold blood would fluctuate. Overall, I would say that demigod blood is red 97% of the time, non mixed. Given that gods would have some mortal blood in their “”mortal“” bodies and the mortal blood of mortal parents. Gold blood would come into play during serious bleeding (like if we don’t treat this you’ll die bleeding) and if/when demigods are in their element and powerful. For instance, children of the big three might have more gold blood, or have gold blood more often (not that anyone can tell if they aren’t actively bleeding). Versus Annabeth, who does not have any powers or magical energy bestowed on her, probably only has gold blood when she’s bleeding out. The large amount of red blood and it’s frequency would explain why demigods who don’t know of their parentage yet would not be able to see anything wrong, and the Mist could cover the small amount of gold that a mortal might see if a demigod were ever to get inured and bleeding gold.

#fátima tag #this is so old it's from your previous blog #riordanverse #i took this too far and it isn't as eloquent as my first attempt #im taking a higher biology this coming year so maybe i'll have a better answer after that

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jaeyunluvs · 4 years

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jj’s girl - jj maybank

Requested by @loveableniall : Hey I have a imagine request for JJ. The reader meaning y/n is best friends with the group. However she is delivering stuff to figure 8 and runs into some kooks. The kooks beat her up. But thank goodness the group (aka her best buds) come to her rescue,and in the end JJ ends up confessing his feelings for her. (Hope all that made sense haha. Can’t wait to read!) ☺️

Requested by @emmileeb1 : i was wondering if you could do something where the reader is a girl and gets beat up pretty bad by any of the kooks like topper or rafe or smth and jj is there to find her?

A/N: Soo, I decided to combine those two requests, since they’re similar. Thank you both so so much for requesting, I hope you’ll like it! <3

disclaimer: i don’t own the characters, english is not my first language so im sorry if i have mistakes and please let me know!! I’m all open to any feedback or conversation!

warnings: angst there’ll be fluff, mentions of hurting, beating up, swearing and crappy writing asdhash

i was listening rudy’s “Jams for JJ” playlist while writing this so go check it out :) you can listen it from here

gif credits to netflix i guess lol

It was 8.30 in the morning and you woke up because of a text. You groaned but as you noticed it was from JJ, you smiled. But when you realize you’re smiling you immediately stopped. No pogue on pogue macking Y/N he doesn’t even like you You thought to yourself.

JJ: wake up sleepy princess we’re coming to get you in 30

Y/N: okay dumbass thanks for the reminder

You quickly took a shower, packed some food into your bag, just like Kie does, since you guys were the ones who were getting food supplies to the gang. You looked at the time, it was 9.1, still no notification from anyone. You knew you were the last person to get into the boat, but you still got worried.

As you patiently waited outside, petting your dog, you heard a similar voice shouting your name.

“Y/N, the best Pogue on the Earth, mademoiselle” JJ bowed his head and offered his hand. HMS Pogue and the gang were getting closer to you.

“Hi JJ!” You accept his offer, took him by the hand, hugged him and get into the boat. As soon as you greeted everyone, you sat down by JJ. He smiled at your actions.

“So, what took you guys so long?” You asked everyone while John B calmly, driving the boat.

“Pope’s dad asked us to deliver some stuff and we couldn’t say no. We have plenty of time and if we split the stuff, we thought it would end fast.” JJ explained to you.

“Yeah it’s not gonna take long, besides it’ll be some kind of exercise” Kie smiled at you, then stealing glances at Pope. Ah these lovers.

“That’s cool, I’d love to help” you said genuinely. JJ smiled at how genuine you were, sitting closer to you. You and JJ started to talk about normal stuff. He asked you how was your job at the Surf Shop, you asked him how he was feeling. You knew about his dad and you were so worried about JJ. Despite all of your worries, JJ reassured you that he’s completely fine and if something happens he’ll directly come to you. You just grinned and mumbled an “whatever you say JJ”

When you were enjoying JJ’s company by your side, you saw Pope and Kie cuddling and enjoying each other presence. JJ whispered,

“Isn’t it obvious they like each other?” He giggled.

“Yeah and it melts my heart” You giggled back looking at him. You both wished you guys could be like that. After all the peaceful moments, John B made an announcement.

“You four lovebirds, stop making me feel like a fifth wheel, I’ll have Sarah soon so you can cry, but anyways so here’s Figure 8, it’s our stop for today. Let’s go.” John B gave everyone supplies and a place to go. Before you leave, JJ came beside you.

“You sure you wanna go alone? We can go together?” He asked worried because he hated Kooks, especially Rafe and Topper. They hate each other and if they do something to you JJ would almost kill them.

“Yeah don’t worry, and besides I’m going to Mrs. Brown, her place is the closest from here.” You cupped and kissed his cheek, smiled. Then you left before he could say something. JJ just stayed there, trying to process what’s going on.

“Just date already, duh” John B said behind JJ.

“What are you talking about?” JJ said quickly turning his back to John B.

“Isn’t it obvious that you guys like each other? Like seriously if i was someone outside, I would literally think you guys were a couple.” John B said minding his own business and encouraging his best friend.

“You should confess her, there’s no way she would say ‘Oh JJ I don’t feel the same’ ” John B said with the impression of your voice.

JJ just stared at him for a second, got the things he need to deliver and left before they could talk.

“Listen to my advice JJ!” John B shouted behind his back.

“Whatever you say Johnny Boy” JJ muttered himself. On the way, he thought if you liked him back. JJ she kissed you But that doesn’t mean she likes me arghh JJ thought to himself.

Thankfully, any Kooks were there in JJ’s sight. He peacefully delivered the stuff Mr. Heyward gave and a bonus, he got 40 dollar tip. He thought about buying you a flower with this money because he wanted you to be happy.

You on the other hand while walking to Mrs. Brown’s house, you were peacefully walking and admiring the nature. You were thinking about JJ mostly. He’s so cute, Y/N STOP, he doesn’t like you back, what if your friendship would ruin because you kissed him? You panicked but your thoughts were interrupted when you heard a few guys and girls screaming your name.

“Wait isn’t that Y/N, JJ’s girl?” Rafe smirked.

“It looks like it” Topper with his devilish grin.

They slowly walked closer to you.

“Topper, Rafe stop, please just let me go.” You pleaded horror filling in your eyes.

“Don’t worry princess, we don’t live in a fairytale, so your prince JJ is not gonna save you.” Rafe mocked JJ, with the word “princess”.

And without a minute, they started to punch you from everywhere, some girls also joined. They continued to punch you, hurt you, but you didn’t understand why they would do such thing when you literally did nothing to them.

On the HMS Pogue, everyone was there, waiting for you. The gang was getting worried because Mrs. Brown’s house was the closest of them all. JJ was getting worried the most.

“I need to go find her.” JJ said worried, while couldn’t help but thinking the worst case scenario.

“I’ll come with you.” Kie said ensure of herself. You were like a sister to her.

“Of course we’re coming too.” John B said, speaking for both Pope and himself.

JJ smiled at their friends - family not leaving his back.

When they were walking they heard people shouting “HIT HER HIT HER!” constantly. They wondered whats going on so they went there.

When the gang saw a familiar person getting beating up, they ran faster. And then they realized you were the person who was getting beaten up.

JJ realized this first and literally the second he realized he punched Rafe fastest as possible. He started to punch her. Slowly then the gang joined you. Kie got the girls, John B got Topper, Pope went to Kelce and JJ went to Rafe. You were already fainted but they kept fighting. When Rafe got beaten up really bad, and JJ was choking him, the gang stopped him because he was almost killed him.

After Rafe got hurt really bad, the kooks left the place. They shouted “FUCK YOU ASSHOLES DON’T MESS WITH THE POGUES AGAIN!” and ran to you.

You were laying down the ground not moving at all. JJ picked you up bridal style and ran to HMS Pogue to take care of you with medical supplies.

You were so hurt, your face covered with blood. However, JJ was the same. He was so furious. He could have protected you in the first place. In the boat, you were still not opening your eyes, laying in the arms of JJ. The gang was pretty sad about you. JJ was almost crying and the gang could do nothing but hug him.

After a few minutes of emotional moments, you started to open your eyes and see four people bruised, puffy eyed hugging on you.

“Guys?” you mumbled. JJ looked at you in shock, hugged you so fast and started sobbing.

“Y/N, you scared the shit out of me. You’re alive. You’re really alive.” He said like thousand times. You just smiled at how worried he was. He looked extremely cute.

Kie noticed a special moment between you two. She nudged John B and Pope so they could understand.

“We’ll deliver this package to Mrs. Brown” Pope said. But you and JJ were too busy admiring each other to care. There was a short period of awkward silence but JJ decided to break the silence and let his feelings go. He remembered what John B told him before.

“Y/N?” He asked while you were still leaning on his lap bridal style.

“Yeah?” You looked up to him.

“I have something to tell you, and I hope you won’t get mad at me.” JJ said gulping.

You stood up to show him that you’re listening carefully.

“Argh okay, so umm” He couldn’t speak “I like you Y/N, so much and you were getting beaten up by Rafe, just made me almost kill him. I don’t know what you’re doing to me but you do.” You just stared at him, at a loss for words. JJ noticed your shock, and started to panic.

“I know you didn’t feel the s-” He was interrupted by your blooded lips, kissing his passionately.

The kiss was long, it was full of admiration and it was a way to show JJ you liked him back.

When you pulled away, you couldn’t help but laugh. “Does this explain a lot Mr. Protector?” you asked. JJ smiled at your goofiness and kissed you again. This kiss wasn’t long as the last one but it was good as it was because they’re JJ’s lips come on!!

“So are you my boyfriend now?” You asked looking at him smiling.

“Yeah, you’re my girl. No one can hurt you, I’m here now” JJ said holding you close.

“YES FINALLY!” Pope shouted from the harbour.

“GO GO GO!” Kie shouted.

“You were talking about me giving the d, JJ right? Now it’s your turn bro”

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moonlightjeno · 4 years

Text

swashbuckle and islands

a/n : this boy will be the death of me i love him so much. excuse my horrible grammar. my fav gif, and has nothing to do with the story lol but enjoyyy

genre : angst + fluff

pairing : readerxjeno & readerxmark

word count : 2.6k

okay,

okie, be ready for this mess

and excuse any non spaced words my space bar isn’t working properly

cool so your from an island

which imma call Skye bc i can

now your mum is originally from Skye, and had like second cousins of a cousin or whatever to throne but she married you father who was from the mainland

which is a big no no but at the time she didn’t care bc she was so in love

skip forward a couple of years and the father is a complete ass

doesn’t work or really do much except order your mum around

anyone who has a wonderful father or really good parents im sorry don’t attack me this is for the story

so, mum has had you and your older brother, whom your brother continues to admire your father bc he really just wants love and is hella lost in this mess of a world

Moving on

you used to have a really good relationship with your father until he changed.

cheated on your mother, and would blame it on you mum

in response you really just tried to help you mum get through this mess

big big mess

your brother, at the beginning helped and tried to calm your father

boy kinda gave up, hela understandable

and left to the mainland to study medicine

wooot go him

but you were devastated because you were now alone

now bc your brother has left your father has really worsened and blocks your freedom more and more

The point where you were literally only allowed to like go to school, work in the fields and be a servant

sksksk

now remember how your mum was like the second cousin or smth to the royal crown?

Twas was importanttt

that managed to get you a study abroad year in london,

queue your best friend mark entering

this boy showed you what freedom was and felt like for the first time since your father went off rails

iss been like a good 13 years and you're like 16 ??

I digress

mark literally made you feel more yourself because of his natural outgoing and easy behavior

It really was pretty amazing

And then the hiding and going out late at night was over

It was back to no friends, working at the field

sad life tbh

I must note, that because mark lived in canada bc why tf not

y’all couldn’t really communicate

this is set when pirates where a thing, think of pirates of the caribbean

I love those movies

okie, progress two years

of you thanks to you mum’s second cousin related human lol

you became friends with the cousins friends daughter

y’all really had known each other since they were smol

but hadn’t really been friends, bc the girl was pretty quite and a beaut

even her own father treated her better than she treated her own daughter

smh, ik this is a cliche live with it

but overall she was a really good person and kinda managed to sneak you around the island when you weren't on “duty” for your father

though its not that you didn’t like working in the fields bc you loved helping out with the animals and occasionally give food to those who were less fortunate than you and really couldn’t afford it

being a trooper, that you are you often told your friend idk wanna give her a name so y’all could come up with one if it were up to me it would be lilith about what you would see around the island and how the country was pretty not doing a okay

she would listen and talk about her own problems and how she wished she could travel and paint everything

Bonding over traveling yep yeo

one day, you were supposed to work in the fields as you tend to have to do to the cows, and sheep and horses, while picking up the apples? from the trees ??

Idk i don’t farm

either wayyyy

you had finished your tasks early, and had struggled, and i mean stRuGgLed to get away from your father

he was in one of his moods today, shouting at everyone and refusing to admit he needed help

it was a constant reminder of every bad thing every failure that could happen in your life every thing you didn’t want for yourself or your mum who had slowly been getting sick and y’all had some money that could have helped her but your father thought that she deserved the illness

and i quote he said “everything happens for a reason child, if your mother had treated me and had been a good person this wouldn’t have happened to her, but alas some people deserve what they get”

skskskks

he continued to say how “i on the other hand, have been a good man all my life, have always helped others so i don’t get sick”

this man i swear to god this has actually happened help

being very much done with your father who you really wished would just disappear and leave you and your mom who no longer lived with you but now lived with lilith to be

you had thought of running away for a very long time, though never knew how to get off the island it seemed impossible

sure you knew how to fight, somewhat by watching the guards and the little training mark you had taught your two years ago.

missing mark hours but it wouldn’t compare to the guards of the royals who would never aid you

and even if they had, you had never learned how to sail which was ironic as the island you lived in wasn’t very large. Your only method of transportation has been your legs and your families faithful horse lethian ?? who really was your favorite out of all the animals

running away from the trapped life had always felt like a dream, one that you had lived for for the small year in london with mark

you thought about running away again, the idea of sneaking into a trading boat slowly forming in your mind

you could take her your mum and lilith and travel the world go to london again and paris and canada and re-unite with the friend you missed the most

a smile had formed on your previous grim face, the dream something you held onto until your eyes opened and smoke covered the sky

a ringing began in your ears and you tried to stop it, your hands covering your ears in an attempt to stop the noise but the ringing only got stronger

the sky was black, shots were heard were the village people yelled in panic

you looked out towards the sea and could see the outline of a ship

a very large ship

oh shit

a pirate ship

the flag blew proudly in the boat and from where you stood the bone white skull that contrasted against the black around it was made visible everytime the wind blew

you gasped, everything anyone had told you about pirates were that they weren’t to be trusted

they were ruthless and would do nothing to stop from getting what they wanted

the stories you'd heard all came to the same conclusion you see the flag you run in the other direction

you pace quickened and in small time you were running towards the blazing village now up in smokes fire and fog covering the bakery, and fields

the school that had taught you the basics of reading and writing until girls weren’t allowed to attend was a blaze royal guards their black and purple uniforms waved their hands around and pointed their too heavy too unbalanced swords not being of much use

mom

she should be safe

safe with lilith you thought, looking back towards were the small castle stood its bold flag still flying proudly in the grey and black sky

safe , shes safe you keep telling yourself a constant buzz that you repeated over and over to yourself in order to continue moving towards the castle walls

you only lasted a solid five minutes before the guards were holding the civilians back

you sighed angry these idiots being more preoccupied with holding back the citizens who were trying to get to safety behind the castle walls than actually dealing with the threat at hand

who hired them really??

being the stubborn human you are you decided to head towards the back entrance as yuo saw a flash of blonde hair headin towards the back gate of the castle

oh no was your immediate thought their gonna get to lilith and mum

all the guards had been directed out of castle except a few that had stayed inside to keep the royal fam safe the infirmary had been left unguarded

you looked around trying to look for a familiar face, a familiar guard who youd seen at a practice lilith had dragged you too she had said it was too “admire suitors” you had shaken your head and laughed

you had no interest in tying yourself to a man that would treat you like something to throw around but you let her revel in her fantasies

no familiar face was found so you turned and ran towards the blonde head you had seen walk towards the back entrance grabbing a sword from one of the dead guards

your cursed the clothes women were given making it impossible to run in impossible to fight in

the blonde boy turned around at your approach, he was young you noticed

probably your age, his grin was deviant and his eyes were mocking as she approached

“please” you tried “don’t hurt hurt anyone else”

the boy looked at you with a puzzled look at laughed, slashing away at the thorns and vines that encircled the back door to the castle as he found the lock and tried to break it open

you got closer, looking at the broken glass bottles that littered the floor and torches that lit up the fogged street

the boy was too busy with the look to realize the girl that had come behind him and hit him in the back of the head with the swords dull pommel the boy let put a yelp before collapsing at your feet

your small victory lasted a small time and before you noticed the boy you had tied with the thorns and vines from the door, which continued to be locked

your mum and lilith as far as you knew safe

began to stir and as his eyes opened another boy appeared at the end of the alley

his hair seemed to be part of the night sky, falling over his dark eyes.

“mark!” the black haired boy cried, his hand at his scimitar pointed directed towards you his other hand had managed to slip a dagger out of god knows where and sliced mark’s binds

mark the name sent a shock through you and you took a closer look at the young boy whose eyes were now wide open no anger shown

but instead amusement and the joyous spark you had once known

he looked so different

the black haired boy still had a sword at your throat and you swallowed briefly

“mark?” you gasped feeling the tip of the sword against your neck a small movement and it would nick your skin, blood would swell

‘Mark’ looked at you again and laughed,

the black haired boy looked confused “let her go jeno”

jeno was like ‘excuse me ? she knocked you unconscious no i'm not doing that’ he didn't say it but mark understood and laughed again this time it was more mischievous a feral grin adorned his features

“let her go, she’s coming with us” jeno and you were both like huh? has this boy gone mad?

probably letss be realll

“umm no im not” you snapped at the boy you once knew, you glared at jeno who had regrettably removed his sword away from your neck but had placed the dagger threateningly close to your back ashe forced you to move along

you didn’t get an answer from mark who still seemed very entertained by the whole situation

he had changed so much since you’d last seen him *sigh*

you three walked back towards the village and you hadn’t realized how the screams of pain and fear were no longer heard

more than a few guards littered the floors and you tried not to gasp as jeno forcefully continued to move you towards the sea its waters black

the walk to the pirate boat seemed to last ages, the sun had begun to set in the sky casting dark purple and red shadows above the black water that didn’t reflect any light. It broke your heart to see the usually clear water be black, the animals that lived in the waters probably struggling to survive.

when you finally arrived, the panic began to settle in again. you didn’t know if your mum and lilith were safe, you didn’t know what would happen and the boy you knew two years ago had changed so much that you could no longer read what he was thinking

the ship loomed in front of you, you hear the small buzz of chatter from the ship and laughter

why was there laughter in such a horrible place ??

“Come on” mark said, already walking getting onto the ship, not looking back at the mess they had left behind

You no longer felt the sharp prick of a dagger or sword at your back, but instead it had been replaced by a strong hand guiding you towards the ship

the contact startled you, and you straightened and continued to walk forward the ship only a few feet away, you still held onto the rock that you had hit mark with, your sword taken away by jeno

you forced your feet to stop moving, because one more step and you’d be on the pirate’s boat, and ducked, and made a weak attempt at attacking the black haired boy behind you hitting him with the small rock you had on the leg

you begin to move away from the boat. The victory lasted a solid second before jeno had his arms around you, pinning your hands behind your back. No longer smiling, or understanding in his dark eyes. you glared at him and then at mark who had finally turned around, a sort of sadness passed over his features before he spoke

“you can’t run away y/n” he said calmly. “remember in london? when you dream about running away, leaving this island and exploring the world? away from your father?”

his words shocked you, but you didn’t want to leave your mum she had no one else

“i can’t just leave mark !! my mum, she’s still there and i can’t just leave her with father” a look of recognition and understanding flitted through jeno’s face and reflected in mark

“i know, i know but if you stay here and go back” the boy shook his head, the dark of the night making his blonde hair a dull light in the fog,

you knew, that in many ways he was right. if you did go back the villagers had seen you with the pirates, being taken by them as the village had burned down and you weren't scared. the worst scenario would be that if you did go back they would imprison you, ask you for information

hurt mum, hurt lilith even is she was part of the royals

you felt the tears well up in your eyes, and refused to let them fall

“we aren’t all that bad” peeped jeno’s voice who had softened again, until you looked at him and his gaze hardened

you forced yourself a small smile, and placed your foot on the board of the boat

“Let’s go swashbucklers” you said,

after all, the stories you’d heard had come from your father, and all his stories were a lie.

a/n : i hope y’all enjoyed that. ik there wasn't much jeno lol but i’m planning on king this a series if you want? send me an ask, if you do! either way,

peace out luvs,

stay safe

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runearcana · 4 years

Text

Because there are so many parallels between my life and Terezis life, when I recall Homestuck, look at fan creations, ect, I find myself there. Somehow that chapter of my life makes sense. but its also frustrating. Sometimes I feel like Andrew Hussie scried on me and it scares the shit out of me. Also, it adds to the difficulty of moving forward by dwelling on that chapter of my life and I cant see a future for myself.

It definitely helps me sort out my emotions, though. It also helps me see from other perspectives.

Terezi is a troll that many people seem to like. It boggles my mind because I dont think I am likable. I feel happy and flattered people like that version of me, but my real life self is ignored/neglected/unseen by others.. pretty typical.. but.. just strange to me.

How do I describe the differences between us, though?

Terezi embraces her insanity and feels at home speaking her mind and her friends like her for it. Shes probably seen as smart, I guess? People typed her as ENTP afterall.. [Karkat is the ENTP, not me. >.>] She stands up to and insults/mocks Karkat when hes an asshat. I dont know that I could do that, although I really wish I could.

I embrace my insanity, but I rarely if ever speak my mind and even though Im mischievious and fun-loving.. Im quiet and have seen myself more as a background character in their lives. I dont think Im smart. I dont know how to let loose around them. [by them, I mean Karkat, Kanaya, Rose, and some of the others.] I could be myself around Dave and Gamzee though. The thing is, too, Dave and Gamzee [and Kanaya] are my age, but the others are older. I went to the same schools with Dave, Gamzee, and Kanaya. [Aradia too, but she wasnt part of the core group.]

Despite my membership in the group never being vocally disputed, I never really felt like a real member of the group.

I keep wondering why things turned out this way. Why did they show mercy to me, when they didnt to some of the others they kicked out..?

I ultimately walked away. Dave was passive-aggressively gate-keeping all my old pals from me [or maybe they requested he did this], and it was heartache to be around Karkat anyway so I just left.

Theyre all terrible communicators if you ask me, if Dave always had to speak for them. -.-

Theyre happier without me in their lives, though, so thats something. I still care about all of them, although Dave is seriously on my shit-list right now. I dont know how to think about him without feeling angry and indignant. Im trying to sympathize with him so hard, but heres the thing.. Dave feels so much self-pity for himself already that its ridiculous. Hes the biggest fucking buzzkill alive. Hes like my mom and thinks because bad stuff happened to him that the world should revolve around him and he doesnt have to change his obnoxious, unlikable behaviors. Every one else is the problem, it couldnt possibly be him, hes an innocent angel who doesnt have a selfish bone in his body, apparently. LOL.

Although.. maybe people in the group saw me as more of a buzzkill than him because I was *emo*.. I didnt throw temper tantrums though and demand that I get my way and make my problem their problem. The one time I disrespected Dave was after he had let his crush on me become imprinted into my mind, that his feelings were MY responsibility. He was so out of control that KARKAT, someone I really thought was smart and admirable accused me of leading him on.

How am I supposed to deal with that? How are Daves unrequited feelings for me MY FAULT?!

And Karkat said I was manipulative to everyone too. [lol.. another parallel I forgot to add to the other post.]

I dont see myself as manipulative, or at least not more manipulative than anyone else. v.v its pretty upsetting to know thats what he thinks of me.

the thing is, I know how to read most people really well.. there are definite advantages to that.. but everyone is manipulative and selfish in some way. Dave throws temper tantrums, I focus on win-wins.

You know, honestly.. I think if I were to let myself pity or sympathize with Dave, Id be back in that boat of being miserable. I associate him with a friend with unrequited feelings for me, and by itself itd be fine, but even Karkat was blaming me, saying his heartache was my fault.

so i got into the habit of pretty much ruthlessly reminding him im not interested. because i tried telling him plenty of times.

i can be flirtatious. i can send mixed messages. i dont mean to. but its not like im intentionally leading him on and sending mixed messages. the thing is.. i want him to stay my friend. [it was ultimately clinginess, but in a way Dave didnt prefer.] i guess thats why im flirtatious with him. maybe its unnecessary. I wish karkat could have seen that in me, and encouraged me and given me the benefit of the doubt. he could have reassured me that Dave would remain friends with me and I would have 100% listened to him.

the whole situation would have been immediately resolved right then and there. i would have seen how my crush on karkat parallels Daves crush on me, and wed all be best buds forever.

but i wasnt valuable to them ultimately.

i guess i sent the wrong message and destroyed my own reputation in their eyes forever.

it is what it is, as karkat likes to say.

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tartagliaxx · 3 years

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why hello there 🌙 anon!!! sorry for my belated welcoming but it's nice to meet you :D

i've been playing stardew valley a lot lately, like way more than i should be lol modding the game is more fun than i expected and i just love all the characters (maybe except morris but we don't talk abt him)

and i popped onto twitter and the banners coming in 1.7 are so confusing. ppl are saying it's just gonna be new inazuma characters (ayaka/yoimiya), others are saying there are gonna be a rerun of ganyu or albedo (if not in 1.7 then 1.8/2.0), and there are so many leaks of so many new characters??? ayaka's brother is gonna be pretty, i just know it. i think zhongli's(?) artist is working on him, and i just know he's not gonna disappoint. and there's also a fox boy as well :))) he's so cute, i want them so badly

the only bad thing is that they're both probs gonna be 5*, and as far as we both can tell, my luck with characters have been uh, not the best, but hopefully this time i'll lose 50/50 and get my guaranteed pulls. or maybe i'll just save my primos instead? i earned like 2k just from exploring and doing all the events, the 1.6 update is amazing lol, i still cannot manage to steer the boat though, my mind just can't comprehend that when i look in another direction, the boat doesn't turn as well so my directions are always messed up

on a side note, my mocks are until the end of june??? for what and why??? the schedule is so screwed up, we could finish everything in like 2 weeks but it's from the end of may to the end of june. but since my cold seemed to finally leave (probs my fault considering i sleep at like 8am in the morning and wake up like an hour later), i finally have time to complete your work and also focus on my mocks :DD

btw, there's a hidden achievement for using a friend's boat, idk if you knew that. and if you're wondering, i used tiny font bc normal font makes this ask appear way too long lol, but i just looked back and realised how much information i just spouted, whoops ehe

— r. anon

i was just wondering what ur up to! hi!! i have been hearing abt that game a lot but idk how it works lol. if you’re having fun though then that means its good?

honestly, twt is like where i draw the line. not only do i not understand how it works but i also see so much unlikeable things in there that i just dont bother. i know some of the leaks but i dont pay too much mind abt it bc its a lil too confusing for my dummy brain. i’ll just sit still and look pretty while i genuinely feel shocked abt future content. no oscar nominations for me 🤧 /j on another note, 1.6 has been a blast so far. its more story oriented which i like v much not to mention, freemogems 🤩

ive given up trying to understand your mocks bc if u cant understand it then how could i? all im saying is,, good luck w that and i hope you dont stress too much abt it!

im happy that you’re feeling better but at the same time, everything else can wait. dont forget to take some rest and just chill from time to time bc its for ur own good as well. ur doing so well, my dearest!

i havent co-oped w anyone yet but thanks for informing! i’ll deffo get that primos for myself! 😌 anw its nice to hear from you again mwah!

#˗ˋˏ°• letters from cat island •°ˎˊ˗#˗ˋˏ°• from my darling : r •°ˎˊ˗

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