#not trans but putting these tags as well for trans peeps | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

feather-dancer · 3 years

Text

Now Ghosts he left behind Chapter 3 has been out nearly a couple of weeks suppose now is an acceptable amount of time to go on about ~*themes*~ that have been cropping up in the fic so far that aren’t at all plot relevant but are still important things I want to do justice to: LGBT+ rep and mental health particularly centred around anxiety. Understandably the following will contain spoilers I can’t avoid it, sorry!

~~~

Mental health

It probably doesn’t come as too big a surprise on the latter front, after all in the second chapter of the Strickler fic I tagged for unhealthy coping mechanisms which are loosely based on my own which also happened to have a reference at the end of the second chapter in Ghost!AU showing how far he’d come since then. Now I’ve read some excellent fics on the PTSD front, a few on dysphoria regarding the change from human to half troll but in regards to anxiety many seem to fall into the trap of thinking somebody is a bit more skittish or that it just gives you a more nervous nature. As somebody who has generalised anxiety myself, I really wish it was that simple.

In this fic’s case the anxiety is being heavily tangled in the dysphoria of the change where he’s left alone to process everything while being hit with reminders of what he no longer is thus putting more fuel on the pyre as a result. In a stressful situation (Sometimes not even then!) it can get stuck in a loop of self-created belief such as here Merlin kept him away deliberately though we know this isn’t the case and will warp reality/memories to fit like how he misremembers that Merlin also said his visions are imperfect if there’s nothing to snap you out of it then those spirals often lead to panic attacks or worse a full breakdown. Here his brain is trying to make sense of the impossible, jumping to the most logical conclusion it can come up with and through bad luck has this very wrong thought process that he’s a threat to everyone else. Having been on one or two of these they really do suck! Quite often dissociation goes hand in hand whether you’re aware of it happening or not and thus far he’s had a couple bouts that he’s dubbing blackouts currently. There is also the classic ‘background’ noise variant where for no real reason your fight / flight reflex is jammed on when it feels like it though Jim as shown by the CBD techniques at the start of chapter 3 is doing his best to keep a handle on those spiking too far and Claire mentions he taught her a few to help out to show that his friends know and he is able to talk about it without feeling the need to hide in plain sight every waking moment. If you’re forced to stealth you get frighteningly good about hiding full blown panic attacks and it’s not a healthy situation to be in.

On Toby’s end he mentions a specific situation where anxiety was likely involved before Jim was diagnosed. In it when confronted with a situation option a was bad, option b was worse and there was no good outcomes because his brain got stuck on those. He also mentions being moral support helping get Jim into a position that he would be able to go home but refused to leave him alone until he was sure he was okay. It’s worth pointing out he figured the reason everything kicked off was the ‘problem’ of coming out to Barbara and her not reacting well (Which was an understandable conclusion!) and only later realised anxiety was what made the entire thing even worse and he unintentionally did the right thing to help. Barbara also mentions Jim being on medication for it, the original ones to mysteriously stop working which are implied to be while Toby was pretending to be Jim then moved onto another treatment which was brought up via Strickler’s concern about going cold turkey. As much as anxiety freaking sucks I felt it was important to show that nothing in relation to it is treated as abnormal, it is simply life with having your brain being a bit on the funky side and that sometimes makes you think illogically. It’s not your fault when it happens.

~~~

LGBT+

When I began writing this fic one thing I wanted from the get go is that characters who are LGBT+ are not forced into a scenario created by the plot to out them to the reader/someone else nor signposted in a cheap way to score points because even when you’re with friends who know you’re not saying it every two seconds and even more so when in a stressful circumstance where your son/best friend is currently missing. With this thought in mind, Jim has always been written as Trans but prior to Chapter 3 I simply had no way to bring it up because right now he’s too busy freaking out about being a half troll to notice if anything is different and on this same coin, Claire is Bi while Toby is Pan with a bonus order of trying to figure himself out. There’s others too! Sadly much like confirming Jim is also Bi I’ve not had a way to naturally bring it up as yet if I will at all but they are being written with it in mind.

Jim was a trickier one to bring up because he’s not about to vouch for himself so it was a much easier route to instead hint drop and hope one if not all of them clicked with a reader who he is without any of them being done in a way that could come across as dickish. Barbara got the first two with mentioning Jim should know better about using a given name in regards to Not!Enrique and a second one in regards to another form of medication he’s taking but because she didn’t know if Strickler knew (Incidentally he does) thus she deliberately phrased it vaguely and was ready for the possibility of upset without outing her son because she’s a good parent!! Toby is who gets the rest through a roundabout way mentioning how bad his pre-medicated anxiety could be when he came out as mentioned in the previous section and a second time where he says he didn’t care what he looked like because Jim is always Jim to him. The final important note was how he specifically said that he would not second party exactly what happened because it’s Jim’s choice if he tells her or not. We love and support good friends in this house.

Then there was the inclusion of the river troll Trisantona who is marked as non-binary by calling themselves the child of and the kids think absolutely nothing of it and are more annoyed with their attitude than anything else. Personally I see many trolls and changelings particularly very eh about gender and wanted a little implication they are far from the first troll they’ve encountered who doesn’t fit a human binary so it doesn’t even register as unusual.

In Claire’s case she had two hints, the first bring a straight joke because it might be low hanging fruit but it’s hilarious I can’t help it while the second was her commentary on Toby’s reactions to name drops because she couldn’t resist teasing him. Small but both very deliberate.

Toby in the meanwhile has been having hint drops since chapter 2 which has only continued in how he keeps comparing reactions Claire is causing to what Jim does to him then you get him openly telling Claire about how it feels like his heart is a bunch of apartments and can the world stop having so many good-looking people in it. That ties in with the two mentions of doing research for a word he hasn’t quite got yet but he’s mostly been sidetracked by everything going on right now.

Homophobia, biphobia and particularly transphobia is rife and only increasing in this country where it feels like every week it’s only getting worse. While in the grand scheme of things it’s probably inconsequential it is important to be the change you want to see in the world. Mine? Even in this mess of an angst fic I want to showcase LGBT+ peeps who are treated as they should be with love and support by friends, family and strangers alike. Being Trans, Bi or whichever label that particular character uses it is simply part of who they are and not a character trait slapped on afterwards for easy points plus if I see one more fic where a Trans character gets outted to others without their consent because the author figured that’s the only way you can do it I’ll go feral.

In a completely unrelated note Douxie is non-binary Panromatic Ace in everything I write and anybody who doesn’t like that can suck it.

#writing #Ghost!AU

6 notes · View notes

ilovemygaydad · 4 years

Text

title: the first day of fall

pairings: remceit (remy/deceit for the post dwit peeps)

summary: dee is suffering, but his four-year-old son is going to make him feel better

warnings: sympathetic deceit, period pains, periods, discussion of transitioning, past trans male pregnancy, things that could be read as dysphoria, a tiny bit of swearing, and possibly something else

a/n: the prompt (which i barely followed sorry fhaofwa) is from @hiddendreamer67‘s october prompt list! october 30th’s word was “fall.” it’s another kid!fic. i’ve gotten obsessed with kiddo!sides i guess whomp

check my bio for commission info

all other october fics are under the tag “#october 2019 fics” or on ao3

check out my ao3

buy me a coffee

When Dee has woken up at the break of dawn to use the bathroom and came back with a stupid pad shoved in his underwear, he was pretty pissed at himself for continuing to put off transitioning just in case he and Remy wanted another child. He knew that once his period was over, everything would be fine, but… god, was he not having it right now.

He went back to sleep, though, and woke up a few hours later with a sharp pain in his abdomen that meant hell. There was a good college try to sit up, but nausea struck and forced him to fall back into his pillows. And Rem had already gotten up, leaving him all alone in their bed. Dee grumbled miserably at that.

It only took a few minutes before Remy walked back in and saw the state of his husband. He grimaced and said, “Gurl, I was gonna tell you it’s the first day of fall, but you look like hell ran you over.”

“Oh joy. I’m missing Patton’s favorite day, and I’ve got period problems. This could not get any worse,” Dee hissed as he rolled onto his front. “That kid is going to kill me.”

Remy’s eye roll was practically audible. “Oh my god, babes, Pat wouldn’t hurt a damn fly. Look, I’m gonna go grab you your supplies and tell Patty that daddy’s not gonna make it today. You just lay there and look… well, you ain’t pretty right now…”

“Get the fuck out, Rem.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Dee groaned. Ever since he’d come out, going on T had been impossible. Not two weeks after his coming out, he’d found out that he was pregnant with Patton, which threw a wrench in his plans. Still, he had been reluctant to hormonally transition even after the birth because he had always wanted to have more than one kid. Physically, he could go as far as he wanted (which he had—top surgery was easy enough), but T wasn’t an option right now. That meant periods and missing the first day of fall.

Rolling over onto his back, Dee closed his eyes and sighed. Remy would be back soon, and he’d be able to sleep off some of the pain. He only wished soon would come, well, sooner.

And then a wet, slimy mass was dumped on his head with an accompanied shout of, “Patty, baby, no!”

It was only a second later, and Dee blinked up to see Remy stuffing a pile of fallen leaves into the trash and Patton grinning from next to the bed. The four-year-old was practically vibrating from excitement, and it was really hard to be mad with that cute, squishy face staring at him through large glasses.

“Dad said you weren’ gonna be able t’ get up today, and I didn’t wan’ you to miss fall, so I brought the leaves to you!” Patton all but screeched, clambering onto his father’s stomach to get closer. “I love you!!!”

“I love you as well, Patty, but maybe don’t dump leaves on people? They’re very difficult to get out of a bed.” Dee manhandled his son into cuddling his side to make sure the kid knew he wasn’t mad at him.

“Okie dokie!”

“Happy fall, Patton.”

“Happy fall!!!”

#sanders sides fic #remceit #ts deceit #sympathetic deceit #m writes remceit #m writes things #october 2019 fics

11 notes · View notes

god--baby · 6 years

Text

get in pt 9 (sfw)

henry bowers x reader patrick hockstetter x oc

parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight

previously on: vic has a weed guy, a rumor goes around about the reader and sophia, sophia and Patrick have a fight

summary: vic has a crush, patrick apologizes, the gang (minus sophia) gets high

word count: 3028

tag list: @bettertohaveneverlovedatall @heckstetter @itaddict @violetdawn-k @surahbow @gizmo-the-gay @agespenst @itwasmathilda @passionfortrashin @kylorans @daeshaunex2 @neck-peep @thicctor-victor @piscesxtozier @mightycabbage @kamckee

The next day, Sophia avoided the group like the plague. She didn’t mind talking to you and Vic between classes, but when it was all of you — when Patrick was involved — it was too much.

She was pissed.

“How could he do that?” she asked. “How could he put his hands on you and think I’d be okay with it?”

“I don’t know, Soph,” you said for what felt like the hundredth time. You’d been talking it over a lot.

“After all I’ve done for him. I’ve been so nasty — I’ve fucking called him daddy, for God’s sake, and this is how he repays me?”

“Maybe he wants the two of you to fuck,” said Vic, leaning up against the lockers between you and Sophia.

“If that’s what he wants, he could express it with words instead of coming onto someone without me being there. Not that it’d happen, I don’t feel that way about you,” she said, turning to you. “But if he wants something, he can talk to me about it. He’s so bad at communicating like, everything.”

“I know,” you said. “Henry never talks about what he wants until we’re in the middle of going at it. Even then, half the time, I have to find out on my own.”

“Exactly! Jesus.”

“You sure you should be taking the Lord’s name in vain, sweetheart?” asked Vic dryly. He thought it was incredibly funny that Sophia could have her faith and Patrick at the same time.

“Jesus understands, I’m sure. His dad made my boyfriend — they should both know how fucked I am.”

“Or how fucked you’ve been,” he said.

“Yeah.”

She closed her locker and leaned her forehead up against it, clutching her books to her chest.

“I’ve done so much for him,” she groaned, closing her eyes.

“I know, Soph,” you said. “I know. He obviously doesn’t get that.”

“He honestly thought we were fucking?”

“Yeah. At least, I think so.”

“Jesus,” she said. “What do I have to do? Anyone have any ideas?”

“Well,” you said, thinking. Then: “Nope. Nothing.”

“Ignore him,” said Vic. “I know him better than either of you. If you ignore him, it’ll drive him crazier than he already is.”

You both looked at him.

“That —” you said — “that is strangely helpful.”

“I guess I’m already on the right path,” Sophia said.

Vic shrugged. “Don’t say I never did anything for you.”

“You never do anything for either of us,” you said.

He narrowed his eyes at you.

In between classes, you caught Henry in the hall.

“I’m gonna eat lunch with Sophia for a couple days, okay?” you said. “She’s staying away from Patrick until he realizes what he’s missing.”

“She better not stay away for too long, or he’ll forget about her,” he said. “Besides, are you sure you should do that? It’ll only make the rumor look right.”

You sighed. “I know. But she needs a friend right now.”

“Okay, baby. You’ll still ride home with us, right?”

“Right.”

At lunch, you got a table in the corner of the cafeteria with Sophia. True to form, just about everyone who saw you stared. You sighed, picking at your lunch.

“Honestly,” Sophia said. “It’s like they have nothing better to do.”

“There’s nothing better than being in high school and not being the one talked about,” you pointed out.

“Yeah, but where does that put us?”

“You know where. Hear any other rumors?”

“Oh, you mean besides the one where we’re cheating on our boyfriends with each other?” she said, leaning in.

You grinned, her mood catching on with you. “Besides that one.”

“Well, someone got what happened right. Apparently, I’m a big lesbian slut.”

“That makes no sense. To be a lesbian —”

“Patrick would have to be a girl, I know. It’s stupid, but at least that rumor doesn’t involve you.”

“Yeah.” You sighed. “Can we finish eating fast?” you asked. “I wanna smoke.”

“God, I do, too.”

You laughed. “Really?”

“Really. If it makes the muscles in my neck ease up, I want to smoke.”

“Okay.”

You both ate as fast as you could, then left the cafeteria, going out the back door of the school.

You lit up a cigarette and passed it to her. She took a drag, blowing out the smoke in the dainty way she had. The other smokers hiding from adults gave you sidelong looks. You searched through them, thinking you saw a familiar head of long, dark hair. Sure enough, there was Josh, the guy who gave you weed at the party.

“Hey, man,” you said.

He looked up, eyes lighting on you.

“Hey,” he said. Then, he looked at Sophia, a question in his eyes.

“It’s not what it looks like,” said Sophia.

“What does it look like?” he asked, pretending for your sake.

“Like we’re cheating with each other,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“Oh, I know you’re not,” he said. “Anyone who’d try and cheat on either of those boys would have to be seriously crazy. And anyone with any amount of sense would know that Gretta is just passing that rumor around because she’s jealous.”

“Oh, yeah?” you said, taking the cigarette back from Sophia and taking a drag, letting the smoke float out of your mouth as you spoke. “Of who?”

“Sophia, obviously,” he said, gesturing to her. “She invited you, right?”

“Right,” she said.

“But not Patrick?”

“Nobody but me.”

“Right. She wanted to separate you for a night, then you showed up with him anyway. She only spread this bullshit about you two because she wants Patrick to herself.”

“I don’t know if she understands what she’d be getting into with him,” Sophia sighed.

“Not many people could keep up with him,” he said, turning as someone new walked around the corner.

It was Vic, looking surprised to see you and Sophia there.

“Oh, hey, guys,” he said, scratching the back of his neck.

“Hey, Vic,” you said. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” he said far too quickly.

“Uh huh,” said Sophia.

“I came to see Josh,” he said. Then, he turned to Josh. “You got it?”

“Yeah,” said Josh.

He stood, digging in his back pocket, pulling something out and handing it to Vic. Vic handed him a small bundle of cash in return.

“Thanks, man,” said Vic.

You looked at Sophia, eyebrows up. She mimicked your expression, obviously just as interested.

“No problem, babe,” said Josh.

Then, he leaned in and kissed Vic’s cheek.

And Vic? Vic blushed.

He walked away and both you and Sophia turned on Josh.

“What,” said Sophia, “the fuck was that?”

“What was what?” asked Josh, tongue flicking out to wet his lips.

“You got a thing for Vic?”

“I got a thing for pretty boys,” he said, shrugging. “You should ask him. Right now, he’s just a customer. We’ll see.”

“You don’t kiss customers,” said Sophia.

“Maybe you wouldn’t,” he said.

“I don’t think many people would,” you said.

“I’m not many people,” said Josh, putting out his cigarette.

Then, he walked away, waving at you. You both waved to him and turned to each other.

“Is Vic gay?” she asked.

“I don’t think so. Maybe a little bit?”

“Maybe,” she said.

When the bell rang to send you to your next class, both of you raced to your lockers, where Vic was already digging around, looking for a notebook.

“So,” you said.

“Shut it,” he said.

“No. What’s going on with Josh?” Sophia asked.

“I have money and he has weed.”

“That’s not what we’re asking,” you said.

He sighed. “He’s nice, okay? That’s it.”

You put a hand on his shoulder, pulling him so he looked at you.

“You know we have nothing against you being with a guy, right?”

He rolled his eyes.

“Of course not. I’m just not ready for the gang to know,” he said.

“Well, we won’t tell them, obviously,” you said.

“Of course not,” said Sophia.

“Good. If either of you do, I’ll kick your asses.”

Sophia shrugged. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Besides,” said Vic. “It’s not even a thing. We haven’t even really kissed, yet. It’s nothing.”

“Do you want to kiss him?” you asked.

“Of course, I do. What, do you think I’m blind? Just look at the guy.”

You put your hands up.

“I’m not ragging on you,” you said.

“I know,” he sighed. “I’ll get him soon.”

After school, you went out to the Trans Am, waiting on everyone else to show up. When they did, the mood was subdued. It just wasn’t the same without Sophia.

“I got weed,” said Vic. “And rolling paper.”

“Thank god,” said Henry. “Belch?”

“Yeah?”

“Your mama still working the afternoon shift today?”

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

You went to Belch’s house and got settled in a loose circle in the back yard, laying on the grass and on each other. Your hand was in Vic’s hair and your head on Henry’s stomach.

You all talked about nothing until you just couldn’t anymore.

“So, when’s Sophia gonna come around?” Patrick asked about thirty minutes into the first joint.

There was plenty — you were pretty sure Vic had enough for three. Whether he’d be sober enough to actually roll the next two remained to be seen.

“As soon as you say sorry, asshole,” you said.

“What do I have to be sorry about?” he asked.

Henry reached over and hit him square in the chest.

“You know what,” he said. He wasn’t as mad as he would be if he was sober.

“Oh, that? That little thing?”

“Yeah, that little thing where you basically came onto me,” you snapped. “Why the fuck wouldn’t she be mad about that?”

“I wasn’t coming onto you.”

“What — then what the fuck do you call that thumby… rubby thing you did?”

“Being persuasive.”

“What the fuck were you trying to persuade me to do?”

He didn’t answer, he just laughed.

“Seriously, Patrick,” said Belch, “you got a good thing goin’ with this girl. Don’t throw it away.”

Patrick sighed, all put-upon.

“If you’re so smart, Belch,” he said, “why don’t you tell me how to make sure it doesn’t get thrown away.”

Belch thought about it, but his brain was obviously working too slow to come up with something fast enough to satisfy Patrick.

“Anyone have any bright ideas?” he asked. “Please. I’m all ears.”

“Eat her out until she screams,” said Vic, rubbing his head up into your hand.

“Eh.”

“How about this, asshole,” you said, sitting up on your elbows so you could look at him, “how about you treat her like a person and not just a hole to fuck?”

Patrick snorted.

“Why would I do a thing like that?” he asked.

“Because she’s a good girl, and she really likes you,” you said.

“She is a good girl. And a freak,” he said. “Not the most common combination.”

“You know you’re never gonna find a girl like her again,” Belch pointed out.

“Sure, I will.”

“In Derry?” you laughed. “Please.”

Patrick flicked his lighter open and closed again.

“Do I really have to say I’m sorry?” he asked. “I’m not.”

“You should be.”

“I’m not.”

You sighed and held your hand out for the joint. Someone passed it to you and you took a drag. Henry grunted and you passed it off to him.

“At least say sorry for the fight you had,” you said. “Try to be genuine.”

“The only thing I’m genuine about is missing her pussy,” he said.

You rolled your eyes.

“Well, you’re gonna have to do better than that,” you said.

“What, do I have to get her fucking flowers or something?”

You grinned. There was a bit of viciousness in it.

“That might help.”

He sighed.

“I really do miss her pussy, guys. I can’t keep jerking off like this,” he said.

Everyone groaned, but no one said anything to stop him.

“I mean it. Her pussy — fuck, it’s perfect.”

“Have you told her that? Girls like that shit,” said Vic.

“Of course I haven’t told her,” said Patrick. “Should I?”

“Do it,” said Belch. “Use my phone. Call her right now.”

Patrick got to his feet and went into the house.

“You think this is a good idea?” you asked. “We’re all — fuck, we’re all so high.”

“No time like now,” said Vic.

“Oh, yeah, Vic?” you asked. “No time like now, huh?”

“Shut it.”

“What? What are we missing?” asked Henry.

He didn’t like secrets.

“I’m interested in someone,” said Vic. He was obviously uncomfortable.

“Sorry,” you whispered. He looked at you with his eyes narrowed, but you could tell it was okay.

“Oh yeah?” asked Henry. “Who is she?”

“Uh,” said Vic.

“Who is he?” Belch said, trying it out.

“Uh.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” you said. “I’m sorry for bringing it up.”

“No, it’s okay. I just. I don’t know if anything’s gonna come from it,” he said.

“Well, who is it?” asked Henry.

His hand met yours in Vic’s hair, and you smiled. Henry was so affectionate when he was fucked up.

“You know the guy who got us high at the party?” asked Vic.

“Uh, yeah. What was his name, again?”

“Josh,” you supplied.

“Mm. Josh. That the guy?”

“Yeah,” said Vic, sighing. “That’s him.”

“Didn’t know he was your type,” said Henry.

“Yeah, I guess he is,” said Vic.

“Well, what’s stopping you?” asked Belch.

Patrick came back to the circle, sighing.

“What’s up, Pat?” asked Vic, obviously glad to be out of the spotlight.

“Didn’t work. I told her how perfect her pussy is, and it didn’t work.”

“What else did you say?” you asked.

“Not much else.”

You sighed and rolled your eyes.

“You were supposed to say sorry,” you said.

“Uh huh.”

“You’re useless, Hockstetter,” said Henry.

“Fuck you, I’m fine. Anyway, what are we talking about?”

“Nothing,” said Vic.

“Bullshit. What are we talking about?”

“Vic’s got a boyfriend,” said Belch, stretching.

“No, I don’t,” said Vic. “I’m just interested in him.”

“Oh?” asked Patrick. “Who is he?”

“This guy I met at that party. Oh, and he says there’s gonna be another party soon, and we’re all invited.”

“What’s his name?” asked Patrick while you asked, “whose party?”

“His name’s Josh. And he said the football guys are throwing it, said he could bring whoever he wanted as long as he brought weed, too. It’s on Friday.”

“And he wanted to bring you,” you said, smiling. “See, he likes you.”

“He hasn’t said that.”

“Dude, he kissed your cheek. He told me he has a thing for pretty guys. What more do you want?”

“He said that?” Vic sat up and looked at you, blushing.

“Yeah.”

“Vic’s got a boyfriend,” sang Patrick, reaching for the joint.

“Do not.”

“You will,” said Patrick. “C’mon. Don’t be a pussy. Make the first move.”

Vic took a deep breath.

“Do I have to?” he asked.

“I think you should,” you said.

Henry grunted in agreement.

“If he turns you down, he’s an idiot,” said Belch.

“Yeah, yeah,” said Vic, taking the last drag off the joint and sitting up. “I’m gonna roll another. Anyone want some?”

Everyone made an agreeable noise.

You turned to Patrick.

“You better make it up to Sophia before the party,” you said. “She won’t like it if you go alone.”

“Yeah,” he grumbled. “I’ll think of something.”

The next day, when Patrick got in the car, he had a bouquet of roses with him. They were a deep red, and you knew Sophia would love them.

When you got to school, you hunted down Sophia and lured her back to the Trans Am. The entire way, she grumbled about her perfect pussy and how useless he was. How stupid to think that a single phone call could make it up to her.

You got her back to the boys, and Patrick held out the flowers for her.

She crossed her arms.

“What’s this?” she asked.

“This is me saying I’m sorry, baby girl.”

“What are you sorry for?”

You held back a laugh. She really wasn’t going to let him off easy.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry for thinking you were really fucking someone else. And for coming onto —”

“Okay. So, say I believe you,” she said. “Say I believe you’re sorry. Why would you call me like that yesterday? Perfect pussy! Please.”

He snorted. “We were all pretty high, baby girl.”

“Whose idea was that? Do you know how embarrassing that was? My mom was in the next room!”

Everyone looked at everyone else. No one could remember whose idea it was. Vic shrugged, and Sophia sighed.

Then, she stepped forward and took the flowers.

“If you ever, and I mean ever, do that to me again, I won’t stop Henry from kicking your ass,” she said. “Hell, I’ll do it myself.”

“Do you forgive me?” he asked.

She took a deep breath. “No. Not yet. But I’ll be damned if I don’t miss you like hell. Let’s just — let’s just be better, okay?”

“Okay, baby girl.”

He pulled her into his arms and gave her a hard kiss, his hands on her ass, pulling her skirt up.

Everyone else looked away, like it was a car crash they were turning away from.

Josh walked by with a couple of other guys. You leaned over and elbowed Vic. He looked up, then blushed.

Josh waved and smiled.

Vic did the same.

You laughed.

“You’re useless. When are you gonna make your move?”

“I dunno. Soon.”

“Okay. I’ll lay off.”

“You better, or I just won’t do anything.”

“What are you guys talking about?” asked Sophia, turning away from Patrick. He kept kissing at her neck, obviously pleased with himself.

“Josh,” you said.

She glanced at Belch and Henry, and you gave her a little nod, saying they knew.

“Oh. When are you gonna get that?” she asked.

Vic snorted. “When I want to. Everyone else butt out.”

“Okay,” said Henry. “Just get it done, and soon.”

“I will.”

You, Sophia, and Vic walked away, heading towards the lockers.

It turned out to be a good day.

#henry x reader #henry bowers x reader #patrick hockstetter x oc #it 2017 imagine #it 2017 fic #mine

97 notes · View notes

artificialqueens · 6 years

Text

Daddy’s Boy Chapter 6 {baidore} - imafuckinglibra

I have nothing to say except Danny goes to class with Roy and they get very cute, I project some dysphoria on him and then Roy bottoms…Sorry not sorry. And it’s super long that I am sorry about but, any trans guys out there, can we appreciate how fucking amazing the Bono is? Anyway, enjoy bitches k bye.

The next week all the music majors who were competing in the upcoming talent show got the week off to prepare, Danny having already completed his song and most of his prep work decided to spend the first 2 days in Roy’s apartment getting high and cuddling with the dogs.

‪Tuesday night‬ he helped Roy make all the little pumpkin shaped waffles, the shape proudly picked out by Danny in celebration of Halloween. Seeing as Jason’s class managed to keep their end of the bargain and all got B’s, except one student who got a C, he had to keep up his end and reward them with the sweet treats. Danny made Roy keep his promise after he almost went back on his word because of the C even convincing him that giving everyone except that one student a waffle was just plain evil.

Roy always preferred being alone and enjoyed his solitude even growing up but he couldn’t deny since having Danny around he had been the happiest he ever felt. They’d become similar to a married couple in the short time they’d been together, Danny even once or twice dropping off lunch for Roy between classes or just popping in to say hi when he got bored.

After discovering everyone on campus already knew of their relationship neither of them hid their feelings for one another anymore and enjoyed the stress about getting caught being lifted from their shoulders. Roy had gotten a small slap on the wrist but was informed seeing as Danny wasn’t in any of his courses and thus their relationship couldn’t affect his grades or give him any unfair advantages, the university didn’t care what they did. How the university would respond to his drag? That was still an unanswered source of worry for Roy.

“This is fucking stupid.” Bianca groaned as she and Danny walked up the stairs to her classroom the next day.

Roy had kept his promise to both his classes, being surprised his final years actually managed to improve their grades 17%. Although he hated the idea of dressing as Bianca more often to school he had to admit bribing his students with her worked and if he ever wanted to improve their grades again he’d definitely have to pull her out once more.

Danny decided that Roy going to school as Bianca was a once in a life time opportunity he couldn’t miss and wouldn’t stop nagging his boyfriend till he let him tag along, promising to stay out of his way and keep himself distracted during lectures or being his personal assistant for the day. Danny even promised a little bonus for when they got home if Roy stuck it out as Bianca all day, which Danny was eagerly awaiting seeing as Roy shooed him away that morning when he tried to touch him claiming he couldn’t tuck with a boner.

They walked hand in hand each carrying the tupperwear containers into Bianca’s big empty classroom, Bianca greatful that they got there early enough when the campus was still empty. Danny excitedly hopped onto the desk, snaking his hands through Bianca’s arms as she stood with her hands on her hips looking at the PowerPoint for the day’s first lesson and pulled her in for a much needed kiss.

She moaned slightly into the kiss as it calmed her anxiety for the day ahead and placed her hands softly on his waist, noticing how the boy had gotten more comfortable around her over the last month. He no longer pulled away when she was touching his body, he would sometimes even swim around without his packer when they were at the weekly drag lunch and he never kept his shirt on around them anymore.

He still had bad days where he couldn’t bring himself to look at his body in the mirror but as soon as she picked up on it and went up to reassure him that she had him, he’d ease up. She loved seeing Danny grow to embracing himself more because well, she loved Danny.

He let go of her hips as they leaned more into the kiss and threw his arms around her neck careful not to disturb her perfectly placed blonde hair, moaning into her mouth and pressing his hips slightly against hers.

“If you pop my tuck I’ll kill you.” She threatened trying to disguise her smile at Danny’s now stained red lips before moving in for another kiss, he wrapped his legs around her padded round ass showing her he didn’t care when they heard footsteps and someone chattering behind them.

“Daddy’s gotta go to work.” Bianca smiled placing a peck on Danny’s pouty lips one last time softly trying to break from his grip but unable to unwrap his legs.

She did manage to turn around somewhat though to look at her students and smile at them as they walked in grinning or giggling at her. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the look she wore or because Danny was clinging to her like a monkey waving happily at people as they walked past them.

Most of them were dressed in the usual cliched costumes - a few slutty ones, characters from whatever horror movie had been released that year and a variety of other half ass attempts at a costume. Jerick however was in full Jinkx drag as Madeline from Death Becomes Her.

He walked in spotting the two and going to give Bianca a hug, giving her props for actually dressing in day drag when Danny held his long legs up blocking him from getting too close.

“Down boy.“ Bianca ordered slapping at his legs and giving Jerick an apology.

“Seems I won’t be needing this for once.” She joked holding up the airhorn and handing it to Danny behind her.

“As some of you may have noticed, I’m a new teacher here.” She gave them a small bow and motioned to the long, elegant red dress she wore.

“Yes, I am more strict than Mr Haylock so shut the fuck up and listen.” The class laughing as Danny nodded in agreement trying to keep his face as serious as possible to mimic her usual stern way. “I’m Bianca Del Rio, you can call me Jiggly. This is my muscles.” She pointed to Danny behind her as he flexed his arm and threw a hand around his bicep. Bianca just glowering at him before slapping his arms around her shoulders loose to go give them their papers back beginning her first lesson. Halfway through the day during one of her lessons Danny started getting sleepy with nothing left to do except stare at his boyfriend or girlfriend, as he opted to call her that day. He layed down on his arms, the soft furry material of his leopard jacket and watching her effortlessly moving around explaining something about textiles on the board making his eyes heavy.

Bianca noticed the boy was asleep when his snoring made her students snicker and a few point. She excused them for the day asking them to leave as quietly as possible so they won’t disturb Danny, clearly lost deep in slumber.

Bianca went through her drawers making as little sound as she could looking for her airhorn. She saw Jason and the others’ class coming in, Jason throwing his head back in laughter showing their friends Danny asleep on the desk and she quickly held a finger to her lips, all of them understanding her quiet gesture and scurrying to their seats without making a peep.

Bianca held the siren next to Danny’s ear while the class covered theirs a few still trying to contain their laughing. The horn went off making Danny jump out of the leather swivel chair, falling over as the students roared with laughter.

He looked up confused and saw Bianca sitting on the desk with her tongue in her cheek trying not to laugh with the others but quickly breaking face and flashing her big tooth grin holding her hand out to pull him up. His eyes flicked between her cackling and the extended arm still confused about why he was on the floor but knowing he couldn’t resist a chance to get some form of revenge.

He grabbed the tan hand, smirking at her and pulling her roughly off the desk. She fell on top of him with a loud scream Danny had never heard before. She was slapping his chest and cursing at him for pulling the stunt, some of the students taking photos of their usually uptight teacher on the floor with her younger lover acting like children. Danny jumped up holding out his hand this time to help her up but she slapped it away and got up herself grumbling something to herself.

She announced to the class that they all managed somehow to get B’s and ordered Danny to go fetch some paper plates and utensils from the cafeteria so she could hand out their sweet rewards. He returned 15 minutes later, Bianca frowning with an exasperated sigh before dropping her head into her palms shaking her head when he skipped back into class. She yanked the plates from his hands as he sat down next to her.

“How high are you right now?” She asked squinting at him.

“Almost as high as that hair of yours, baby.” He poined to her updo and turned back to face his giggling peers.

“Well since I now need to babysit this asshole and we already missed a good chunk of our time available.” Bianca sighed looking at the big clock on the wall. “How about some waffles?”

The students cheered all taking a plate and little plastic fork from her while Danny followed putting a waffle already covered in syrup on each. There were still a few left so Danny helped himself happily munching away as Bianca stared with a hint of lust in her eyes every time his puffy lips parted to take another bite. She grabbed hold of his wrist and stole a piece off the fork while maintaining eye contact with him forgetting they weren’t alone.

“She does that a lot. It’s mean.” Danny announced shaking the confusion of what just happened off.

"What’s he like at home?” Someone yelled making Bianca quickly glare up at them.

“Hm…” Danny took another bite, chewing thoroughly and thinking it through. “Really comfy to cuddle, super sweet…gives really great head.“ Danny smiled, looking at Bianca’s open mouth with eyes wide in horror that he actually said that out loud.

"Do you guys live together?”

“Nope.“ Danny answered Bianca just shaking her head asking her students if any of them had snuck liquor in by any chance.

"Liar.” Jason yelled out, him and Dustin nudging each other knowingly. “Danny hasn’t been home since last Thursday.“

"Will you shut the fuck up?” Bianca growled in their direction making Jason’s smile drop and Kim sitting next to them turn pale.

“Who wants to see the cutest picture of him ever?“ Danny yelled enthusiastically jumping off the desk, Bianca staring mortified at him shaking her head frantically to try and stop him as he turned on the projector while swiping through his phone.

Bianca picked something up and went to go sit down next to a terrified Kim, putting a letter opener in his hand and holding it to her throat. “For the love of God end my suffering.” She dramatically begged.

Danny stuck his tongue out and put his phone under the projector, the entire class awing as some girls started calling out how sweet it was and commenting on how in love they looked.

Bianca looked up to see a photo of them in bed, both with their glasses on. Roy was grading something wearing Danny’s old shirt with Sammy asleep on his chest as Danny rested his head in Roy’s shoulder smiling contently.

Danny continued swiping through the folder showing more photos of them together. The first one they took at the dog park, another one of them eating sandwiches in the park, one of them with Danny leaning against Roy’s shoulder backstage at the club after he dedragged, one with Roy in half drag with a hat on his head and his arms tightly around Danny’s neck, one of Danny sitting on Willam’s kitchen counter, arms wrapped around Roy as the older man kissed his cheek with a slight smile visible in his dimples.

"That was the day of our first kiss…” Bianca finally spoke unaware of what else to say to the smiling Danny just nodding at her.

He kept swiping through the folder, it finally hitting Bianca just how many photos Danny has taken of them together before the pictures turned into just Roy in every day life. He felt his heart ache seeing physical evidence of how much they truly loved each other, the boy grinning uncontrolably at each one commenting on what Roy was doing in them and why he loved him in each one.

“I’m not even at the best one yet, wait.” Danny giggled blushing slightly and biting his thumb. “Here it is.” He finally stopped, covering his mouth as his entire face lit up.

It was a photo of him and Roy in there usual sleeping position, the light from the window hitting Roy’s beautiful unconscious face as his arms were holding tightly onto the younger man. Danny was nuzzled up to him with his lips against Roy’s stubbly jaw looking up at him with more love in his eyes than Roy ever thought possible. Bianca’s eyes switching between staring at the lit up screen and Danny’s giddiness zoning out the class as if they were the only two people in the world.

“Wait, I have one better.” Danny suddenly said pulling his phone away, swiping at a lighting fast pace till he showed the picture of Roy from the back. His naked firm ass and toned back decorated in both fresh and faded scratch marks and bruises, fully on display as he made them breakfast holding Dede in one hand singing with the dog.

“Okay that’s enough!” Bianca shrieked and jumped out of her seat, quickly sprinting down the steps to grab Danny and throw him over her shoulder attempting to walk him out of class. The class laughed and cooed at them as Danny kicked his legs and slapped her ass till she turned around and let go. She put him down on the desk, cupping his cheeks and pulling him in for a tender kiss.

“If y'all tell anyone about this I’m flunking all of you!” She threatened when she heard someone wolf whistling but Danny quickly pulled her back against his lips smiling all the while.

After the class ended and Bianca had a quick lunch break she ordered Shane to take Danny home, after getting high with Jay and showing everyone their relationship she couldn’t risk having him there anymore.

Jason stopped Danny on the way out saying the birthday present that he had ordered a few weeks before had finaly arrived at their apartment and suddenly Danny no longer cared about missing the rest of the classes. He knew exactly what it was and couldn’t wait to open it, he especially couldn’t wait using it on Roy as revenge for not letting him touch him that morning.

After taking a few selfies with his new packer on, liking the thick bulge it gave him in his small briefs he sent the best of the bunch to Roy. He liked teasing Roy knowing the older man couldn’t resist him, he also enjoyed this new found confidence he had since being with him.

He never treated him like he was any different than any cis guy unlike his exes had or tended to do, which was a new and refreshing experience for him. He checked his phone to see if Roy had opened the picture yet and was dissapointed that he hadn’t, assuming he was probably busy with a class but snorting at the thought of Roy in drag in front of the class again.

“Guess I’ll take a nap then.” He spoke out loud to himself looking around the apartment, feeling suddenly very alone. He was always either with his friends or Roy and even when he was alone at Roy’s apartment he was with the dogs.

He woke up an hour later, first checking his phone to see if he had gotten any replies but was quickly disappointed to see that still hadn’t gotten a response from Roy, pouting he decided it was time for the big guns.

He took his shirt off and flipped onto his stomach lifting his ass just enough so it could be fully on display in his red underwear, his beautiful hazel eyes staring directly into the camera. He knew he’d get punished for this later but he couldn’t resist, the urge to tease Roy too great. A few minutes later he saw his phone light up.

[dannynoriega]: thebiancadelrio liked your post

Danny’s face lit up and he pulled his jeans on and dug through his pile of clothes he’s stolen from Roy’s over the last month that they’ve been together, slipping on his long black tank top and grabbing his keys feeling victorious for getting a reaction for Roy finally when he knew his boyfriend was already upset with him for earlier’s show.

He skipped to the campus hoping to surprise her but stopping by Shane’s class first to ask about the show. He went to the bathroom to check himself out now no longer in his Kurt costume and making sure he looked good enough to make Roy, or Bianca in this case, regret not letting him have his way with her before school. He walked over to the urinals and looked down at the bulge in his baggy blue jeans, his joy quickly turning to fear when he remembered the packer he had in wasn’t an stp.

Danny - ‪14:43‬

i need you. Bathroom in your building please

Danny - ‪14:44‬

i really really need you roy!! Please hurry!!

Danny - ‪14:49‬

ROY PLEASE ITS AN EMERGENCY

Danny - ‪15:02‬

roy im really scared please come here!!!!

Bianca unlocked her phone after letting her last class for the day out, her heart falling out of her body when she saw the 10+ texts she had missed. She dropped everything and ran down the stairs pushing any students still in the hall out of the way. She got to the bathroom noticing only one stall was occupied.

“Shit…“ She whispered, recognizing Danny’s old converse poking out underneath it. It felt like someone had ripped her heart straight out of her chest, her panic growing by the minute as different scenarios ran though her mind.

"Dan?” She knocked on the stall door carefully, unsure of what was going on but knowing it can’t be good based on Danny’s frantic texts.

She heard the little click from the lock, the red little indicator turning white to show ‘unoccupied’ and felt her chest grow even heavier than it was a minute ago. Danny opened the door, not making eye contact with her but just gripping his phone tightly in his hand and walking into Bianca’s familiar protective embrace, pressing his face into her padded bosom feeling the sequins against his cheek.

“Sorry.” Danny whispered, his voice barely audible and shaky. They heard someone coming in but before they could see who it was Bianca told them to beat it in the most aggressive voice Danny had ever heard him use, even flinching a bit at the sudden harshness. He didn’s speak once as Bianca lead him to his classroom just gripping his hands tightly.

“I’m so sorry, baby…” Bianca finally broke the silence when they got into her car. “I…I should’ve been there when you needed me. Would you rather go back to your place?” Her voice was soft and sounding as if she was trying to hide her own emotions.

Danny felt bad for causing his love to worry so much, he looked up at Bianca loving placing his hand on the older man’s face, running his finger along the painted jaw.

“I want to go to our home, please.”

Bianca kissed his hand, taking it in his own as they drove home. Danny explaining that he wasn’t wearing an stp and that even now, 5 years later bathrooms were his biggest fear.

Whenever he went into one he felt his anxiety skyrocket even though he passed and once someone even complimented his stp not realizing it was a prostetic when they were standing at the urinals. Despite all that he was still shell shocked every time he went up to one.

“Some guys burst into the stall I was using once, tore my pants off and laughed at me. I always think that’s going to happen again.“ He whispered, feeling Bianca’s grip grow tighter as they both were trying to remain calm. He knew Bianca was overly protective and even possessive, just the mention of anyone touching him made her blood boil.

"I forgot I wasn’t wearing my usual packer. I was wearing this new one, the Bono, to…” He suddenly lifted his head, remembering why he wanted to go surprise his love in the first place.

“What?” Bianca turned to Danny who was now frantically searching through his backpack, his mood suddenly having done a 180.

“Baby? You okay?” Bianca asked unsure of what Danny was looking for or what just happened.

Danny gave a relieved sigh, turning to Bianca and nodding with his usual goofy smile. “I wil be now.’

When they got back to the apartment Roy fell on the couch after removing Bianca overcome with guilt and putting his head in his hands apologizing profusely to Danny.

"I’m never letting you out of my sight again, Dan I have…” Danny interupted him, coming to sit on his lap.

He grabbed Roy’s neck, pulling him in for a deep and much needed kiss silencing his worried boyfriend. He moaned into Roy as he felt their tongues grazing over each other.

“Dan, I’m trying to do a thing here.” Roy pulled back but Danny payed no attention, using the opportunity and already at work taking off Roy’s shirt and rolling his hips down onto his growing erection.

“Please?” Danny asked, looking into Roy’s eyes and running his fingers over the toned pecs under him.

Roy was unsure of what was going on but he knew that tone in the boy’s voice - he was desperate and needed as much of Roy as soon as possible. Roy stood up, picking Danny up in the process and carrying him to the bedroom an act that had become so routine and oddly comforting for both. Feeling secure in each others arms.

Danny was taking his time, contrasting his eager and hurried movements that lead them here. He wanted to savour ever minute of his time with Roy. He kissed down his sternum leaving a trail of small bites before taking a caramel nipple in his mouth as he felt Roy’s breathing get heavier.

He liked being in control, seeing the tables turned and making Roy experience the same pleasure he had made him feel so many times before. He slipped his hand into his open jeans, gently stroking the head of Roy’s cock, seeing his eyes fill with lust as he crept back up to his face and resumed kissing him keeping his grip tight on his member.

Roy’s hands were in Danny’s thick black hair, hungrily moaning into their kiss pulling him as deeply in as possible, not wanting to let go for even a second scared he’ll lose him if he did.

“Remember how you said I had to ask nicely?” Danny cooed biting Roy’s bottom lip and looking at him with a devilish grin.

“Danny?” Roy groaned, throwing his head back remembering the conversation they had a few weeks earlier. “Really?”

“Pretty please?” Danny asked, going down between Roy’s legs and flicking his tongue over Roy’s head, pulling back the skin around it as he stroked it torturously slow.

“Fuck you.“ Roy sighed unable to say no to Danny any longer as he continued teasingly licking Roy’s head but never giving Roy what he wanted despite Roy’s hips even pushing up desperate to feel Danny’s lips around his cock.

"Yay!” Danny yelled jumping back up letting go of Roy earning him an upset groan. “Now you go get ready while I go get the surprise.” Danny instructed running to the living room.

“The things I do for this fucker.” Roy thought out loud as he went to go lay down on the bed again coming out of the bathroom, this time laying down on his stomach. He wasn’t sure what to expect but he didn’t care, he wanted to make it up to Danny for not being there when he needed him.

He was pulled back from his thoughts just as they started spiraling when he felt Danny coming to lay down on top of him, kissing his shoulders as he grinded his hips and some kind of hard silicone packer against Roy’s ass.

“Dan?” Roy asked turning his head to see Danny grinning wildly at him. He tried pushing Danny off but the boy just pinned him back down, continuing his grinding as Roy felt his own erection growing again.

“I don’t want you to look…what if you think it’s weird.” Danny admitted as he slightly slid off Roy, going down to pull his boxers off and kissing the firm cheeks.

“I like looking at you.’” Roy tried arguing as Danny pulled on his hips, lifting him up so he’d be on all fours.

“Please? Just this once?” Danny asked massaging Roy’s tan cheeks before pulling them apart silencing Roy by licking at his entrance immediately making Roy drop his head and let out a long, deep moan.

He let Danny work his skillful tongue feeling his saliva making his asshole slick and moist also making his hard on become painfully erect.

“Okay, maybe you’re not horrible at that.” He groaned putting his hand under himself to stroke his cock unable to resist it any longer, hearing Danny chuckle slightly as he continued eating him out. He quickly replaced his tongue with a finger, massaging the smooth hole in circles making sure Roy was properly lubed up with his drool before entering him. He felt Roy clench at the sudden penetration but ran his fingers along Roy’s back and cheeks, making him relax before he continued entering more fingers trying to ease him into the feeling of being stretched.

“Can I at least look at you now?” Roy asked softly his breathing becoming strained as his body moved back into Danny’s long fingers on it’s own. He didn’t care at this point if it was him or Danny but someone needed to get fucked right now.

“Fine…” Danny whispered after a while some anxiety in his voice, removing his fingers and letting Roy flip over. He felt a rush going through him at the prospect of finally getting to flip the script and top his love, but at the same time he didn’t want the expereince to be ruined by Roy’s reaction to his new toy.

He remembered a previous boyfriend telling him his dick didn’t feel real, and wasn’t up to par with his cis exes making Danny start feeling insecure about his decision. Before he could change his mind Roy grabbed the back of his head, pullling him down for a deep kiss and pulling back slightly he smirked, licking his lips at the erect toy poking out of Danny’s briefs.

A soft hum could suddenly be heard when Danny fiddled with something in his underwear and almost in unison with the humming beginning he moaned into Roy’s mouth, biting his lip as he let go of the kiss to go sit on his knees between Roy’s legs.

Roy’s eyes stayed fixed on the packer between them when Danny put his hands on the toned hips, caressing the v line Roy had and admiring his gorgeous tan body before he slipped the head of his cock in.

"Fuck.” Danny and Roy moaned in unison as he pushed in slighlty more, Danny biting his lip and Roy gripping the headboard behind them as Danny letting him get used to the unfamilliar sensation careful not to rush or hurt him.

Danny smiled proudly at himself looking down at his prosthetic entering his boyfriend, sure it was a bit extra price wise but this was definitely the best purchase he’s ever made.

“It okay, baby?” Danny asked concerned for a second trailing his finger up Roy’s shaft feeling the thick vein pulse against his touch. “Mine”

“Yours.” Roy mused.

Danny reveled at his prosthetic, the texture and look was unreal, the slow vibrations against his growth pushing up against him the more he pushed up agaisnt Roy making it feel like a true extention of himself.

Danny didn’t know what was better, seeing his usually dominant boyfriend in front of him, letting him fuck him as his beautiful tan body was spread in front of him or the fact that his dysphoria was suddenly gone, either way he was in heaven, and by the looks of it so was Roy.

He saw Roy lifting hips in an attempt to take in more of Danny and he took it as a sign to get moving.

He grabbed onto Roy’s hips, stilling his movements. He pulled almost all the way out before slamming back into Roy making him growl as he hungrily looked up into the hazel eyes, his vision getting blurry as Danny repeated this a few times between slow, smooth thrusts. Alternating his movements to give Roy the most pleasure possible.

Roy had never seen Danny like this, the usually shy boy was now aggressive and intentional in his movements, not that Roy minded, it was the first time in his life he could say he was the one getting his brains fucked out.

Danny suddenly pulled all the way out making Roy growl at the sudden loss of Danny’s cock. He sat up on his elbows looking up at Danny trying to figure out why he had pulled out.

“That’s not fucking fair, man.” He whined channeling Danny as best he could making them both giggle slightly.

“Ass up, babe.” Danny instructed making a come hither motion with his finger. Roy understanding immediately and switching back to their original position. “Bring that ass here.” Danny singsonged unable to contain a smile at Roy’s ass wiggling in front of his face.

He already needed a break to catch his breathe, the vibrator pushing into him and pounding into Roy becoming too much for him. He hungrily dived back in between Roy’s cheeks lapping at his now stretched out asshole tasting the faint coconut of the lube and feeling it coat his tongue.

“Good boy.” Roy praised, Danny’s tongue pushing into him and stroking himself faster than before feeling the familiar warmth in his abdomen growing.

Danny squirted a fair amount of the lube next to them on his cock before messaging some around Roy’s hole now coated in his saliva again hearing him whimper under his breath when he touched his now slightly sore asshole, enjoying the older man being so submissive.

“Fuck…Daddy, you really have the best fucking ass.” Danny praised scratching the tender flesh of his tan ass.

He pushed Roy’s head down into the soft sheets pinning him down by his shoulders, his nails digging into the toned muscles pulling him towards himself as he slammed hard into Roy again wasting no time and making the older man release a deep guttural grown.

Danny’s legs started trembling as the felt the vibrating bulb driving him dangerously close to his own release, but he knew he wanted Roy to finish first, pleasing him being his only concern.

He took hold of Roy’s cock pinned beneath them, grasping it firmly and giving rapid, hard strokes making Roy’s groaning deepen and his breathing become broken encouraging him to fuck Roy as hard as possible.

“Shit.” Danny hissed, his voice slowly growing more high pitched as sweat dripped off his forehead holding himself back as much as he could manage. Edging his orgasm back so much it was becoming torturous.

He felt the bed shaking as he slammed his hips harder into Roy until he let go of his cock and leaned forward so he could now fully enter him, pressing the vibrations harder into himself feeling it straight to his core, testing his restraint further as he hammered himself into Roy.

He pressed his lips to Roy’s back, kissing the sweaty flesh grabbing onto it every now and then leaving red and purple marks behind before biting down hard into the flesh to hide or at the very least muffle his cries, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. Roy knowing exactly what they mean and raising his hand, stretching it behind it him so he could grab hold of Danny’s thigh.

“Cum for daddy, baby.” Roy ordered, his voice gravely and barely a whisper too overcome with his own orgasm pushing closer.

“Fu…fuck…thank y…” Danny cried out in a high pitched voice, his breathing too irregular to form a proper sentence as he slammed into Roy one more time, pushing the vibrator as close to his growth as possible before collapsing on top of Roy, their sweaty bodies sticking together.

“Good boy.” Roy praised using the time it took Danny to come down from his orgasm as a chance to catch his breath.

“Your turn.“ Danny growled, sliding off Roy slightly so he could kiss him.

Roy moaning as Danny slipped his tongue into his mouth, slamming harder into him, hitting his prostate aggressively.

Danny lifted himself off Roy, his arms trembling underneath him as he tried finishing Roy off as fast as possible, the raspy voice trying to form incoherent sentences filled with curses every time he pounded harder into him, Danny’s second orgasm was building quicker too and at this point they were both too lost in ecstasy to care if the neighbors heard.

“Baby, I’m….shit.” Roy warned seconds too late,he felt his world spinning and hid his face in the sheets, feeling the fabric clinging to his temples as sweat leaked off him. Their bodies collapsing onto each other as Roy came with a loud, primitive grunt, squirting his hot cum onto the sheets feeling it leak against his stomach.

They stayed there silent except for their panting and the soft hum that Roy was still unsure of what it was until he heard Danny’s moaning getting louder, needier again and feeling him try to roll his hips.

“Get up.” Roy instructed, Danny slowly pulling out of him confused about what was going on. He stood on the side of the bed unsure what Roy was doing when Roy jumped off too, getting on his knees and pulling out the long silicone dick. He saw the vibrations were coming from a blue round bulb at the base of the silicone.

“So this is why you were so eager?” Roy smirked, looking up at Danny’s blushing face before quickly pushing his legs apart and buring his face between his thighs. Danny felt his legs tremble and almost give way the minute Roy’s warm mouth was around his sensitive growth but the older man quickly had his hands gripping his ass, holding him in place.

His expert mouth making quick work as Danny gripped his head tightly, pushing Roy’s head deeper against himself when another orgasm overtook him, making his legs give in underneath him, unable to keep him upright anymore.

Roy smiled proudly at his good work, picking Danny up and placing him onto the bed, giving his ass a few good spanks, leaving them raw and red enjoying the sound of the flesh being harshly smacked followed by Danny’s whining.

“What was that for?” Danny whined feeling his ass sting.

“Payback for fucking me so rough, shit. My poor ass.“ Roy chuckled, smacking his ass one more time for good measure. Falling onto the bed too, both of them exhausted and laughing about what a day it’s been.

71 notes · View notes

goblinsdotcom · 7 years

Text

music tag !

i was tagged by @bigbodylittlesoul ✨

basically i have to put my music and shuffle and list the first 10 songs that play (in case anyone was wondering the playlist that i used for this tag is called swagalicious)

1. That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed) - Panic! At The Disco

2. The Squip Song - Be More Chill

3. Polarize - twenty one pilots

4. Memories - Panic! At The Disco

5. Anybody Have A Map? - Dear Evan Hansen

6. Migraine - twenty one pilots

7. The Things We Used To Share - Thomas Sanders

8. House of Memories - Panic! At The Disco

9. Dead Girl Walking - Heathers: The Musical

10. Sugar, We're Goin Down - Fall Out Boy

i'm supposed to tag 20 peeps so i'm tagging all the pals from the autumn dnp net as well as the trans dnp net and sosie @soulpunkz !

#leo says things #music tag #I'll tag everyone in a reblog of this post dw #👌👌#if i tagged u don't feel pressured to do it if u don't want to bye #it's totally up to u #I meant to say btw I not bye #rip #I'm too lazy to fix it lol

10 notes · View notes

kilmameri · 7 years

Text

Tags

This is a relic from my Tag Garden days. I don’t keep this up anymore, or just sometimes. Enjoy:

I just realized that most of you don't use desktop so just know that I am Very Extra. (The links don’s Actually go to the tag on mobile so look at what the page says after “posts with” and u see the tag i meant. Then scroll and look at the posts’ tags for the tag I meant. This ofc if u Really want to see what I had tagged but oh well. Also if anyone knows how to do Working Links for mobile tumblr then I’m all ears

My :D-scale for funny posts:

:D - Funny :DD - Hilarious :DDD - Absolutely hilarious, have cried because of this :DDDD - I’ve seen this at least three times and I still cry real fucking tears when i remember it exists

General tags

Quality content - O stands for original - I see these posts and I just know I will never be able to put them in a category so this is a “I gave up on the first sight” -tag. Quality stuff tbqh Good ideas - Inventions Cool - things I found cool Info - Info posts

My few interests

Wings - Me - gore -

Cultural things

Europe stuff - USA stuff - Finnish culture crap - Scots - Sámi people -

Maps - Ideal people - Humans doing dumb funny or nice stuffs

Humanities

History - Languages - Sociology - Politics - Like info things and general stuff not centered in one system Religions -

Science stuff

Biology - Linguistics - Medicine Psycology Physics - Scientists - Weird ass people of science who are all my idols

Tutorials, masterposts, life hacks and other references

General advice -

Studying/school - IBDP Housekeeping - Motivation - Cooking - Health - Periods - Abortion - Makeup Bored - Work - Sad

Arts

Comics Sculpting Moodboards -

Social justice and stuff -

Gender equality - Racism - Transmisogyny - Ableism - Disabilities - Abuse - Poverty -

LGB - Separated for the sake of tagging Trans - Ace and aro stuff -

Fantasy worlds

Dragons Vampires Werewolves -

Animals

Fish - Birds - Cats -

People -

John Mulaney - the comedian Gordon Ramsay - the chef Barak Obama - the ex-president Cecil Baldwin - from wtnv Jenna Coleman - from doctor who

Music -

Orchestra - Guitar - Strings -

Memes

I am a x looking for y -

Vines

Dick: out - Disloyal man - Tagyourself sheet - Alignment chart - Perfection - Ditty - Bae come over - Pie charts - Bingo sheets - My Immortal - Posts and pictures Russian spy -

Finland - I live here

Finnish - In Finnish - Music - Culture - Politics - Memes - History-

Weather -

Other

Good looking peeps - Games - For later - Stand up comedy - Collections of tumblr posts - Dungeons and Dragons - Dancing - Perspective - Kids - Puns Jokes Accent - Classic - Halloween - Satisfying -

#tags

5 notes · View notes

zaaziedee · 5 years

Text

Long ass rant cuz I don’t know how to put a read more on Mobile

I fucking hate guilt trip posts I fucking hate them

No matter the message, it all boils down to “if you don’t reblog this you’re a terrible person” and every time it makes me so uncomfortable. Like thanks I feel like a terrible person now because I chose not to share some words on a screen. That would have been on my blog that is for me. That has less than 100 followers.

I don’t even fucking reblog things I do like. I’d love to reblog fan art and memes but I have the need to tag everything and I don’t have energy for that. I want to reblog art and put compliments for every single one. But it’s too much for me. I reblog boost posts sometimes and even then I don’t feel like it really ever reached anybody or helped the poster/cause.

9/10 times I agree with the guilt tripping post as well, or even posts that state the obvious. I shouldn’t have to reblog, all trans folk are valid. I am trans! I know trans peeps are valid it was pretty obvious to me! I know terfs are the worst! For obvious reasons!!! I also do not like The “reblog if you agree” posts. If you like it and it reaffirms your stances, cool beans. It just gives me guilt tripping vibes that if I DONT reblog it that MUST mean I don’t agree which is almost never the case. I hate it!

It’s even worse when it’s a post that has a threat or insult attached to it (usually not op but still) like, “if you don’t reblog this you’re scum” or any kind of varient. Hmm wonder why that might make me feel like shit. Maybe other people on the internet have thicker skin but I read those kind of things like they had been spoken directly to my face, so yeah I’m not gonna reblog something that tries to attack me or anyone not daring to follow an order on a ducking social media website.

Can you just imagine? Some random stranger in real life coming up to you and saying “hey fat people are important and valid” and before you even have a chance to respond, a different stranger that over hears that scrambles over and gets into your personal space and very threateningly says, “ well do you agree? Or are you fatphobic scum who should die in a fire?” Like one 1) it’s weird that someone came up to me to state being fat is okay, but yeah I’m 100% in, I try to be as body positive as I can, I am a fat person myself and I accept that in me and others. But 2) then some other person yells at me? Demanding an answer? And that the correct choice for this person I’ve never met is to get a megaphone and shout both things that stranger 1 and stranger 2 said? And the selfish, bad behavior is to run away and ignore both statements?

In real life most people would run away. Most people would be taken aback at the least! Because that’s weird! I don’t understand why thats acceptable on the internet when it would not be (I hope) in real life! It gets into some people’s heads! I try to ignore it and I eventually will forget about it, but it doesn’t stop the fact it made me feel bad. Even if it was only for a minute. It’s not okay. And I know it makes others feel bad. I know others have worse anxiety than I do. So kudos to those that go back to the original source and just reblog the op post that doesn’t have explicit guilt tripping. I know the ops aren’t trying to guilt trip me, and it’s just my brain thinking too much about it.

If you ever catch me in real life and know me, I’ll talk day and night about various issues in the real world, but please don’t expect me to reblog it when I see it cross my dash board.

#rant #personal #i mean if anyone does see this you can reblog im chill with whatever #mostly a self vent sesh tbh

0 notes

familiaanteomnia · 5 years

Note

for the lgbt+ ask game, please answer the odd numbers as the mun. (although, i think i know your answers for some of those questions.)

*Warning: This is going to be potentionally triggering, etc with talk of unsupporting family and stuff.*

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns?: Trans Male, he/him or Lurching Thing *tm* Take it this implies orientation too so- gay, asexual. (But I appreciate that girls can kick my ass, and are pretty) Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?: I don’t like go anywhere, and interact with people. At most my family basically often, daily. This one obnoxoxious boy in public who was all ‘oh yeah that’s a girl obviously’. Do have plenty of confusing people and them being like ‘so that’s uh- you person there’. Or getting gendered correctly. Supposedly I pass more than I give myself credit for.

Which like before I even had fully accepted myself confused a doctor once. Waiting around and it was like ‘hey uh- could you please move, kid’. I mean even when I was presenting as my birth gender once had kids mistake me for a college age guy so -shrug-.

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?: Terrible, still is with family and coming out’s never finished. 1st time, family. I’ll share that cause it’s the real crux of things. Worst than the horror scenarios I’d pictured.

I hadn’t slept much in weeks, hands trembling with an urge to self harm because I’d given it up around then. Out of town, visiting family. Shit storm. A phone call outside in a meltdown, false hope because it sounds like I might be tolerated. Two day stomach flu. Car ride to meet halfway for lunch before going home days later with my mother. Rock hitting the window shield, cracking it making me wish it broke.

Growing dread. Immense guilt that I can’t even look at the driver of the car. My mother wouldn’t even look at me, babbling to try being even seen as her child in the slightest. Dead silence. Going home. The start of yelling, fighting, being a mistake. Cut off from all internet access. Even when things died down I’d do something wrong and it would be twisted against me. I’ve been yelled at in public for it. Talked behind my back, while present. Crap situations in a doctors office, etc. Thankfully they were more chill.

Like I’m more out than I was but it’s still like ‘hush hush’. Partly because I always bail out of telling people off. Because I just wanted my family, I just want the people I care for to even slightly respect me. To actually talk to me, not about me behind my back/to each other while I’m sitting there instead of directly saying “How are you” or small talk. I love them- I’ve hurt myself emotionally, sacrificed so much but they can’t even try to see me as even just a person.

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?: I mean I get no questions/don’t interact with people much but I hate the ‘top, or bottom’ crap specially from females in gross excess. Like when somebody hcs a character trans but then it’s just that, s*x and ‘top or bottom’Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?: m/alec, m.agnus chase/alex f.ierro, klaus/dave, and like I have so many more. Not all of them have ship names, or are coming to mind right now though.Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?: Yes. I also have other body image issues. It makes me hate taking or being in pictures. Makes me hate leaving the house. Being around people. It’s literally like those scales where it’s like ‘get help if you’re at level 10 and it super impacts your life’. And I’m on like 15 constantly. I have literal clothes where it’s like ‘after top sugery’ ‘when I’m skinnier-’ and then it’s ‘which of the two shirts’ ‘these jeans, oh but they’re kind of no thanks’. Always wearing boots when I have cute sneakers,etc.

I don’t wear eyeliner like I used to. Yet I like bought some a while back like ‘oh these colors are pretty’ it’s just sat. Don’t use chapstick sometimes despite owning it, chapped lips at times. Constantly end up screwing my eyes shut while changing, random breakdowns like ‘I have the wrong shape nails’. Safe to say as a result it’s like really messed up. Supposedly I’m an attractive person energy wise,etc but yet I’m like ‘uhhh ew I look terrible’ and compliments feel fake especially if the person has never seen me. -shrug-What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?: Honestly? Like those who sometimes are just like ‘hey I get it’. Or appreciate dumb poetry I share,etc. The people who sometimes are like ‘hey I’ve got your back’. Or accept me as a person, labels aside. Those who I came across that have spoken about their situations with my childhood church/spoken out. Published books. Made a whole album of it. One of them who was like the og in a way messaged me once like ‘hey it’ll be okay’. So I’d say the good people, good parts- who actually fight for each other,etc. Instead of playing gate keeper,etc.Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?: Nope, it’s like a few hours and I’m always broke/no way I’d be like ‘hey family member spend some gas, cash take me to pride’. Plus I know nobody irl so I’d be alone big time. Also my local one seems big on the ‘partying, drinking’ events etc. Plus you have to like pay? Then like parade wise I can’t bind for that immense amount of time there, during (in the hot sun), and back. Or walk/march cause uh my legs be dumb sometimes/asthma. I want to go to an event or parade sometime, someday though. Though I’m like ‘okay but I’d like to flags? Perhaps socialize? Kiss a cute boy?’ so *frustrated noises*. Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?: Not really cause I guess my middle school nonsense (not even dating but trying to be ‘normal’) doesn’t count. But like also that’s fine. I attract toxic people. So like I’d rather wait try patiently waiting for somebody good to come my way. Who can accept all of me and will know it’ll be rough but I’ll also be like ‘hey let’s go get doughnuts late at night and go to a park, snuggle under a tree’. Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?: Not really, not yet. Have had some memorable encounters. Been scared shitless once that I was about to get assaulted in a public library. But then again that might be the people’s attitude around here which is mostly ‘hush hush’ fake niceness,etc. Bound to happen though. Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?: Don’t really have any? I mean the whole tag more or less, of some of the religious lgbt+ peeps who know the church I was raised in. I watch quite a few trans youtubers though, not all of them are exactly wildly known. Other than that -shrug-.

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?: Never- honestly doesn’t appeal much to me either like history sure. Something people can do- hell yeah. Personally drinking wouldn’t be healthy for me *not of age currently anyways*. And drag shows usually are at such events- crowds, people. Just not sure I’d last even 20 seconds to have fun or anything. Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?: Not sure, bio kids are a solid no for reasons. But otherwise- I like babysitting, kids adore me for some odd reason. So like say I date or fall for somebody who has a kid or is on good terms with family/loves babysitting. I’d be totally happy babysitting or hanging around with said person and their child. Things like adopting though? Good option yet I’d not think it over too much till it’s a conversation/have a person and its stable. (Plus like trauma,etc is a thing that makes it loaded as well)What do you think of gender roles in relationships?: If it’s their thing- sure. But the gross gender roles? I’ll scowl at. Like honestly especially if it’s straight people,etc like ‘well whose the tougher one’ etc. Or praising abuse like ‘the guy can’t hang out with other girls uwu, I have access to his phone all the time- we’re joined at the hip all the time’. For anybody. Like people need breathing room? And are an individual even if in a couple. What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?: Uhhh ‘it gets better’ isn’t always comforting cause sometimes it does take years. To work through things. Work things out. That sometimes it takes conversation, time and immediate rejection isn’t always how it’ll be. But you should also put yourself first, not be like ‘oh I can’t work on getting hormones because I want my family to adjust, etc’. Idk.

#herfragilewarrior #♥ i can’t breathe. 》 mun post #(Look at me- like last year I'd have joked around and been like 'ha ha what- we don't talk about this stuff')#(Anyways it was cool to answer them despite how heavy it kind of got)#(I'm not even like that emotional or mad at like my family anymore they're missing out on seeing me happier and happy that's their loss)#(I'll live it up and they'll not be a part of that)

0 notes

beir · 7 years

Text

Replying under the read more to an anon's feelings regarding the previous ask (see tags for content warnings):

anonymous asked:

that last anon ask you answered just made me have a breakdown. I'm ftm and have a phobia of getting pregnant and that is the most disturbing headcanon for me. It makes me feel so disgusted by my own body. just wanted to let you know not all ftm peeps feel like that anon

Ah, I'm so sorry that happened, anon! I definitely understanding that dysphoria is experienced differently for every trans person. I know that just like the anon who embraces that aspect of their body, your feelings towards your own are valid too. I'm sorry if my last reply suggested otherwise!

I've put both this ask and the previous under read mores in hope that it makes the issue less visible for you for the time being.

I have to warn you though, while I don't plan on directly posting art of this particular subject to my tumblr, I'm usually open to discussion/writings and it may come up as a topic again. If you haven't considered this before, the Xkit browser extension has a blacklist function to hide posts with specific words or tags. I do try to tag my posts well, and you can see all of the tags I use on my tags page.

I hope things are going better for you, anon! Or if they’re not, I hope that they will.

#beir talks #/#//#///#anonymous #trans tony #mpreg cw #pregnancy cw

7 notes · View notes

jellyfishfics · 7 years

Text

Some News on the Landscaper AU

I’m putting this under a cut because it’s quite lengthy, but I think this is a very important topic that needs to be addressed, so I hope that if you like the Landscaper AU, or just support fics and writers in general, you’ll give this post a read.

I found out last night that someone on ao3 took many aspects of my yoi Landscaper AU fic to spin their own fic off of it. The very beginning of their fic has the same setting as mine: Viktor retiring and moving into a mansion to live in the luxury he can afford as the top skating champion of the world. Even the phone call with Chris is there, and there are so many parts of the fic that are blatant rip offs and cheap imitations of what I wrote, I couldn’t get far because I just felt so awful. I had friends who read the fic on my behalf, and what they told me was appalling.

I’m very heartbroken that this was the fic and project, out of everything I’ve written, that was stolen from. My initial thought was: why me? Why such an obscure author with flimsy, paper-thin confidence, why steal from me of all people? But I wouldn’t wish this fate on anyone else, so it’s up to me to address this and explain why this ao3 user’s actions were so damaging, and I hope no one ever attempts doing something like this again.

I debated speaking out about this or just letting it slide, but I don’t think I can let this go. I want to let everyone know that under no circumstance is this ever ok, and for me personally, that’s for two reasons: I’ve been offended both as a writer, and as a person who identifies as trans.

As a writer: I want everyone to know that I take my writing very seriously. I’ve been writing for a long time; eight years old being as far back as I can remember writing my first story. I’ve been working on my craft for a long time, entering contests, sending work to journals in hopes of being published, and devoting my minor in university to creative writing. I’m constantly seeking to improve, which is why I took up fanfiction in the first place; my first fic was written as an objective goal--write a story that’s the same length as a novel. I had no idea that fanfiction would be so much fun, that it would lead me to so many important friends, and that the immediate reader-writer communication could be so beneficial. So I care about my fanfiction just as much as any of my original work.

Every piece of my writing is an extension and expression of myself, and fics in particular are how I explore a lot of my own feelings and identity in a safe space where I don’t need to worry about judgement from peers, professors, or family. The Landscaper AU was especially important to me because I decided to have Viktor identify as nonbinary trans just like me, as well as live in the same area of my home, which I’m away from right now because of school. So please understand this rip-off fic is actually the worst insult to me ever.

Listen, I get it. A very small part of me knows you probably meant no harm to me. You like my fic, you’ve made that very clear with your bookmark of it, and the comment you left (after writing your imitation fic no less). You liked my words and idea so much, you wanted to use them for your own story. Alright. But, I have to express how horrifying it is to find that the words I put so much time and effort into writing, drawing from my own experiences and feelings, twisted around and made into your playthings. It’s simply not fair. And I’m afraid I can’t stand for this.

As a trans person: Now I want everyone to understand that as much as I’m open and proud about being nonbinary trans, I’m also very insecure about the way I present myself, and I get dysphoria easily. So this fic series was my first attempt at representation for myself and others like me. And it had me so so so very anxious!!! Any of my friends can attest to this, there were so many times I wanted to give up the series all together before I wrote a word of it! That’s why art for the series existed before I even drafted the first fic, my friends were trying to motivate me. And it worked, I was able to get the first fic out. But I was still very insecure, I wasn’t sure how well nonbinary trans Viktor would be received! So to everyone who sent me positive comments, additions to me post, and tags, thank you so much!!! Every single one of those words meant the world and more to me.

This past week, I was having a rough patch in school, and my anxiety was through the roof, so despite all the support I was given for this fic and the series, my paranoia was getting the better of me, which is why you saw me so indecisive and wanting to delete the fic. I apologize if I alarmed anyone, and thank you for sending me encouragement through it.

I really wanted to use this fic and series to give some validation for my gender, and do it for a character who I love and proportionally gets less trans headcanons and fics than the rest of the main yoi cast! And out of the eight fics for trans Viktor (including mine and the imposter), the majority are about the struggles of being trans. Which is very important, and something I know too well unfortunately, but you know? Damn me if I wanted a light-hearted, fun fic where there isn’t anything inherently wrong with being trans and nonconforming, and there’s a trans character being treated with nothing but love and respect in a natural way. I just wanted to give myself and other nb trans peeps some positivity, and show that we’re just as deserving of a quirky love and comedic romance as any other gender.

I’m not going to sugarcoat this; this rip-off fic is literally my worst nightmare in writing. It’s quite literally the most transphobic piece of writing I’ve ever had the displeasure to look at. Now I believe all gender is fluid, and that people can go through different identities in their life; I know I have. But what this ao3 user did was the most invalidating and fetishizing piece of work I’ve ever forced my eyes to see. I never want to read the line “her original sexuality” ever again in my life. The ending was super heteronormative, super binary, reducing a trans identity to the idea of “it’s just a phase, and once you find ‘the One,’ you’ll go back to normal.” I’ve honestly never wanted to throw up at a piece of writing until now. This offends my whole being, just as a trans person, and then this ao3 used took my words to fuel this horrible fic.

In response to some blunt comments this fic received, the ao3 user said they didn’t do any research. I…really wish that they would have. Maybe then this fic wouldn’t have been so horrible. Oh yeah, and not stealing from me would be a good improvement too.

My point is, trans people are disrespected, harassed, and thought of as a joke enough in mainstream media, so I really don’t need a fic like this, given a tag that’s supposed to represent us, and then you throw that representation out of the fic completely because you didn’t know how to write it and wanted to create your own disgusting, heteronormative ending. I’m very, very, upset about this, and I’ll be honest that there is no way I’ll forgive this.

Now, this was a very disheartening discovery. I almost wanted to stop writing the Landscaper AU altogether. But, a friend of mine told me something important, and I’ll quote her now:

“Could you imagine if fic writers like you with firsthand experience of being trans didn’t write about being trans in various contexts? This is such potential for presenting Viktor, comfortable with his identity, totally working it, and having his friends and peers respect that and him being nonbinary, rich, and successful. Finally there’s a great representation of a nonbinary trans character that is so casual within its context.”

This reminded me of what I set out to do when I started planning this fic series. I want to see content of trans people just being confident, happy, and loved. So I won’t give up. I’m going to approach the Landscaper AU and other trans positive fic ideas I have the same way I approached my first fic; I’ll make posting a fic weekly my new objective writing goal. This way, I have a steady schedule to build my writing stamina and productivity back up.

I’m still in school, and as it’s my last semester of university, I’m very stressed out, so I might not be able to stick to this schedule, but I’ll do my very best to do so! I hope you’ll all support me, and send me more encouragement in any from you can; whether it’s kudos, comments, messages, tags, asks, additions to my fic posts, or tweets. I appreciate every single one of these.

I’ll see everyone in part 2 of the Landscaper AU!

#yuri!!! on ice #yuri on ice #yoi #landscaper au #fanfic stuff #fanfic and writing #den rants #den rambles #trans stuff #this is just all my bitterness and sadness in one post #but i hope whoever reads it understands me a little more and supports me #i'm not gonna tag anything else #personal

104 notes · View notes