#nowadays i feel like people see you dislike a female character and it’s like

[vacantgodling]

we have got to allow nuanced readings of female characters is2g

#meaning: she can be complex and well written and i can still not like her #nowadays i feel like people see you dislike a female character and it’s like #an affront to their existence when it’s like #my guy opinions exist and she can be well written and i can still hate her #or dislike her #whatever #i mean #there are many male characters that are well written and consistent and i don’t like them either so? #like it’s not feminism to say if you think a woman has done something wrong or you aren’t int in them that you’re a piece of shit #that’s actually insane tbh #ren hot cakes #i’m gonna delete this later probably i’m just ANNOYED lol

[novemberthecatadmirer]

Confessions on My Personal Headcanon of Eol

Have been thinking about things for a long while.

Here are my personal reasons for making headcanons involving non-evil-still-toxic Eol that actually had consensual relationship with Aredhel:

I fucking hate the “nobody foreigner indigenous savage abducted our helpless innocent noble woman” narrative. I am foreigner & woman so somehow I get twice offended out there.

I don’t like “overpowered enchantment that can control people but never get mentioned before and after, and existed only to conveniently explain why this woman will get married with him and have child. She must be under wicked evil magic.” Luthien did weird enchantments but at least those were cool and basically power of love.

@diversetolkien’s analysis on racial coding was too great & powerful I will never forget

Of course LaCE is dead and should stay dead for everyone’s sanity. However the “elves cannot have children without consent & Eru’s blessings (human can, unfortunately)” makes doing my headcanons on why there are not so many elves around and how orcs were made (from tortured abducted children of multiple origins, mostly human) a lot more easier.

I do not like the narrative that a female character gets punished by the world for having personal desires and leaving family for such desires in the “if you leave the protection of men you will be raped by some evil man and have your life ruined forever” way. I am fine even if Aredhel was killed by Orcs or some random dark creatures (punishment for underestimating the danger, tragical but acceptable), but punishing a woman’s desire for independence with a random man out of nowhere... Well, such a traditional approach. Tolkien can have that. I can dislike that out of personal reasons. Like, all the male writers out there can use rape as a nice angsty divice over female characters, but I still do not like reading that overused trope.

The “Aredhel getting abducted and brainwashed and raped and abused by Eol” is a little bit… Overdone. No offence, there are so many absolutely great fictions based on that. Just... I do not like that take being the only way people interpret the canon text.

I get personally frustrated when I keep seeing the stereotypical type of abuse depicted in media all the damned time. There should be more representations of the less extreme but still very damaging subtypes. (Arguably those types are more common and often overlooked in nowadays society?)

Let me introduce you to “couples who love each other but have so many damned mental troubles and surprise surprise love is not a cure for mental illness so they end up hating & feeling guilty for each other and falling into this very bad codependent downward spiral. Oh and their kid SUFFERS.” 

I love my personal headcanon that “enchantment” is a metaphor for “mad, dumb, intense romantic attraction.” The power of helpless crush & obsession, pure and powerful, that will absolutely make you throw your identities & believes, social backgrounds, and personal duties behind and jump into a lava pit together.

It would be more interesting the other ways.

To me Aredhel does feel like the type who see some stranger in strange forest with strange background from a foreign culture and decided “okay I totally want to fuck that one.”

Eol did have reasons to dislike Noldor. He lived unfortunately close to the “Chaotic Evil Elven Realm where Curufin and Celegorm were.”

Eol did crime and became a kinslayer. He did evil, no argument for that. The thing is, before that he did choose death over being trapped in a colonizer’s kingdom (from his point of view.) He chose freedom even freedom meant death. I can see why he could actually share similar values with Aredhel in that particular aspect.

Eol being a typical abusive abductor & rapist makes fix-it stories a lot more easier. If he was pure evil you can just have someone slay the evil then save the innocent princess and unfortunately conceived child. Or you make Aredhel never meet him, problem solved. However, sometimes we don’t like convenient set-up that avoids all moral dilemmas do we?

I like Maeglin and I want to do evil to him because I am evil and I want to make his troubles A LOT MORE complex and helpless and miserable. And absolutely no one in Gondolin could understand his situation because they chose to believe the “evil foreigner” theory to ease their consciences. How can I make it easier for Sauron to mess up his mind.

I like Tolkien’s “dark elves were corrupted traumatized by Morgoth and released back to the world to do evil like he later did to Hurin & Turin” idea.

The “your father tried his best to love & protect you but even his best was not enough also his idea of ‘best’ was fucked-up. Much of what he did to you was abusive and you hate your father for making your life miserable. However you also know his action was caused by something far worse done to him by someone else, and if the same thing happen to you you will end up the same as well. As the result you cannot really hate him. You can hate the one who did the fucked up stuff to your father, but Morgoth does not care about your hatred and is probably laughing somewhere in his evil lair. Your father’s love was toxic and poison everyone he loved, and you hate him, and you still think he deserved to never be turned this way and had a happy life and never met your mother.” <--I personally like this.

And the “everyone think your father was evil and expect you to hate him and you cannot explain to them because your father did do evil. Also you absolutely hate your father for trying to murder you and murdering your mother and you feel you are honor-bound to want him die for murdering your mother so you go to watch him being pushed down a cliff. Somehow you feel worse and wondering if you should die as well because you did let your father die.” <-- I am sadistic and think this is delicious.

I love the “there is love in this family and it seems like they really could be happy but the world is fucked up Morgothed so they end up hurting & killing each other when their love gets turned toxic” trope.

Again, always more interesting the other ways.

Be kind to me! I think I just have different perspective based on personal experiences so I enjoy reinterpreting things differently out of personal interest. I understand why the evil-Eol & abused-Aredhel trope is extremely popular in fanon now, because it opens ways to hurt/comfort, found family, discussions of issues that worth to be discussed (and traditionally avoided), etc. Which are valuable, necessary, and absolutely respectful approaches. I just like things otherwise because of personal preferences. 

I tend to be so afraid that someone will think I am evil for not headcanoning Eol as evil (well I also have opinions on petty-dwarves but that would be for another post another day.)

#tolkien #the silmarillion #silm #silmarillion #silm meta #silmarillion meta #silmarillion headcanon #silm headcanons #eol #aredhel #maeglin

[kalinara]

I'm so baffled by the way this whole thing has blown way out of proportion. People sending hateful messages to each other AND to the actors?? Totally unnecessary! It makes no damn sense.

Not to be an anti on main, but I genuinely believe that shipping changed somewhere along the way, into something that's a little disturbing.

I'm of course not going to say the old days were perfect. Racism, sexism and homophobia have always been issues and fandom has always been notoriously resistant to dealing with such things. And it's not like Shipwars are new. I remember the Ray Wars in Due South and fans older than me can tell fascinating stories of fanzine wars between Han/Leia and Luke/Leia fans before the Internet was even a thing for most of us.

But I still feel like a change happened somewhere along the way. There's this bizarre sense of entitlement now. There's this idea that a ship HAS to happen or it doesn't count somehow, and that we as fans can harangue the creators and MAKE it happen. (Voltron being the most extreme reaction I can think of).

And I mean, I get wanting representation, but it seems to go beyond that. Look at any 911 discussion thread about Buddie. Despite the fact that the show has multiple important queer pairings, they don't count because it's not the pairing the fans want.

I think this also plays into why we have so many puritan shippers. I don't agree that someone's ships reflect their real world morality. But I do get where a lot of younger fans are coming from, when so much of fandom seems to involve going "no, see, it will happen on screen and it will be AWESOME!". Not every show is Game of Thrones, after all. And nowadays, I do think a shipper probably does need to specify "no, I don't really want Thor and Loki to fuck in the movies directly aimed for kids", because of the rabid behavior of OTHER shippers. It's not fair, but we seem to have created this mess.

We used to joke about a "fannish hivemind" but nowadays, that seems less and less funny. I love shippy meta as much as the next person, but there's a difference between making an essay detailing all the moments that could be used to support a ship and making an essay detailing all the reasons why these moments ABSOLUTELY MUST MEAN MY SHIP WILL HAPPEN AND HOW COULD ANYONE POSSIBLY THINK OTHERWISE. And that attitude seems more and more prevalent nowadays.

We need to get a grip. We need to keep in mind that the creators of the show may not see it the way we do. We need to keep in mind that someone else makes the decisions about the story, and we might like or dislike it. We might want to consider, for example, that an actor who was once on Saturday Night Live, who repeatedly referred to a female co-star at that time as a "platonic soulmate" might actually not be setting up a romance between these two very tightly paralleled characters. That doesn't mean the characters WON'T get together, of course. I'm no mind-reader or oracle. But I point that out because nothing is a guarantee.

But seriously, there's nothing funnier than someone going on and on about their literary credentials when they write their long passionate analysis, because no one stops to wonder, do the creators share those literary credentials? What if all of these patterns really are accidents? Or they mean something else entirely?

And leave the actors alone, for heavens sake. They're just the face of the character. They've got nothing to do with any of this! If THEY want to engage, they're more than able to do that. Hell, the internet is anonymous, maybe they're here right now. But let that be their call. You wouldn't want someone coming up to you saying "I love imagining you and your co-worker having sex!" would you?

#fandom woes

[lemonhemlock]

IMHO the shipping wars will continue as usual, no matter what happens on screen next season. Why? Because some people just can't accept that other people genuinely like a different ship and lash out using the usual arguments - accusations of self-inserting into the female character, liking incest, misogyny, etc. - things which are bound to get reactions from the opposite side and keep the conflict going. If anything, things have gotten a little bit worse since you "left", at least with Helaemond vs others, like most of the new Helaegon shippers have turned out to be just antis who've joined their Alysmond friends into constantly bashing them. It's also a bit funny considering that, in the beginning, most of the first Helaegons were also Helaemonds, but since then, the ship has been taken over by antis, which made it unpalatable, at least for me. I think though that you did receive some complaints about this new wave of Helaegon shippers just before you closed off your inbox for anons, if I remember correctly. Other than that, I guess there have been some Daemyra vs Alysmond conflicts, at least on Twitter from what I've seen, which involved the former piling on the latter simply because they disliked some theory or interpretation on the text. This is obviously unhinged behavior, but I still support the Daemyras doing this considering that Alysmonds and other green antis have done the exact thing, or worse actually, to fellow greens like Helaemonds so it's a bit hypocritical for them to complain when team black stans give them a taste of their own medicine. Sorry, this got a bit too long lmao, I guess you can take it as an update of how things stand when in comes to the shipping wars.

Hey there, anon, thanks for this very comprehensive recap on the state of the fandom. That's, um, a lot. 😅 I don't know what to say about the helaegon v helaemond thing - for me that is just beyond, bc I also remember people used to ship both with absolutely no issue a couple of months back. I, for one, also ship both + helaegond, so I really don't have any desire to engage with any of that, wow. 🤖

And that is the same advice I would give to anyone else - just stop bothering with the antis and do your own thing. As a general observation, I think that people get sucked into bickering way too often instead of just talking about the things they enjoy & making content for that. I get that, on some level, everyone feels the need to defend themselves when they encounter hate and nasty attitudes, so some level of that is perfectly understandable, but I don't think it's really worth it to let it take up the majority of your fandom experience. As someone who's literally been through hell & back these past months, I can promise you, it's not that serious. ☠️

There is something happening in fandoms of all kinds with the breakdown in communication and just general social norms and manners, where, upon encountering even a slightly different take from their own, people will start losing their shit and engaging in petty fights. They're just some ships, lol. None of these people are real! You can imagine scenarios in which even crackships can make sense. Fans are forming parasocial relationships with fictional characters nowadays - I've lost count of how many "MY Aemond would never do that" I used to see. Girl, what? I mean, it's fine as a joke, but then again you see them getting really belligerent with others, so you really have to question how much of it is truly horsing around and how much is just unhealthy investment and compensation for something else.

#and not just aemond lol people get really defensive with a whole host of characters like it's their own family members you're talking about #ask #anon #shipping wars #i don't really remember getting asks abt helaegon v helaemond before i closed off anon #but then again my brain is mush atm #anyway it's the dumbest fucking ship war i've ever heard of

[just-ornstein]

N and/or T for the ask game? c:

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice): Since I already answered this one for Deltarune I'll be answering this one for my second primary interest, The Sims 2! :) 1. I wish Simmers cared less about what other people think on what they do in their Sandbox game at times. The most interesting stories and gameplays were those of Simmers who just fully played their game the way they wanted to. For example, Alpha CC often gets kinda looked down upon in the Sims 2 fandom nowadays and while the more realistic look definitely isn't my cup of tea I love how much time these Simmers put into their Sims and general enjoyment. Heck my favourite Sims Streamer plays with Alpha CC haha! Or heck, if you want to pair Buzz Grunt with Brandi Broke, please do that, have fun! Who cares how random some of it is.

2. I honestly would love to see more stuff related to Veronaville, Belladonna Cove and Desiderata Valley. The fandom really loves Pleasantview and Strangetown and while I definitely love those towns I feel like the other ones can be quite interesting as well sometimes and do deserve some love.

3. Would love to see more fanart, especially of the spin-off games, who get so little attention but are quite interesting. While it's quite easy to find when you know where to look, there are so many characters that would look so nice in art! :'D

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything): Answering this one for The Sims 2 and Deltarune hehe! I'm always bad with coming up with these from the top of my head so I may be forgetting a few but here are some that immediately pop in my mind:

For The Sims 2: - Tybalt Capp, Hal Capp, Orion Tricou, Annie Howell, Nervous Subject and Tank Grunt are all gay. Nothing can change this for me haha. I refuse to ever pair them with a Sim of the opposite gender. - Daniel Pleasant and Mary-Sue Pleasant both made mistakes in their relationship and will likely never manage to work out romantically. The best option for them is to get a divorce and once they've had the time to work on themselves I can see them becoming very close friends again, but that's also where it stays. - All of the Tricou Sims were Vampires and Jon Smith isn't a good person despite what his personality may tell you. - Veronaville is doomed to follow a similar fate to what they were based on, meaning many people will die. The only difference is that they may be able to write the ending to their tale. - Sims biology works very different, hence pretty much anyone would be able to have a biological kid, regardless of gender. This means two female Sims or two male Sims can also have biological kids. I mean heck, the game gives me this option, why not run with it? Sims 2 biology is way too much fun not to see what kids will look like! xD - Romeo Monty, Hermia Capp, Puck Summerdream, Hal Capp and Unborn Baby Broke (who is named Skippy in my game) are trans. I also really like the headcanon of trans Jenny Smith.

For Deltarune: - Jevil, Spamton, Berdly, Noelle, Rouxls, Diamond King and Swatch are all trans. (Of course Kris, Seam, Mettaton and Mew Mew are in canon, but I'm just mentioning headcanons here). - Darkners are NOT one or two days old. I really dislike the headcanon that they became sentient the moment their fountains were open. I feel like they are all AT LEAST as old as their Light World objects are, if not older. As of right now I headcanon while some Darkners came with their objects, some existed long before them and once an object came into the world with their properties they became connected to it. Upon being connected to an object their strengths and capabilities increase. The Fountains are moreso a bridge if anything that makes it possible for Lightners to properly interact with them or see them. - Spamton and Jevil were in a sense written to be each other's counterpart. A balance so to say. Hence while their first instinct is to dislike each other, they grow especially close and inseparable over time. - Kris is selectively mute and has a form of autism. They are capable of speaking at times, but when they can't they use sign language which most people around them know by now. Ralsei, Berdly and Noelle also have a form of Autism. - Both Spamton and Jevil have a form of Tourettes and ADHD. - The reason Rouxls enjoyed long dungeon walks is because of the fact he got to speak to most of the people King Spades inprisoned. This includes the Diamond King, with who he became especially close. - Rouxls was once married to King Spades. When King Spades turned out the way he did he stripped Rouxls off his title, but a part of him couldn't bear to part entirely with him, hence he got turned into the Duke of Puzzles. - Jevil is the direct cause of Seam's injuries, which happened during a performance and were the final blow that made King Spades decide to have Seam imprison him. - Seam is likely one, if not the most powerful entity we'll ever encounter in the Dark World. - The Weather People from Chapter 3 are siblings, twins to be more specific and I will die on this hill unless proven wrong lmao. Which knowing my luck will probably happen. :'D - Noelle was the one that caused so much destruction to the first half of Chapter 2. It's why Queen knew she was powerful and wanted to protect her from it, she's witnessed it first hand! - Spamton is not and has never been an Addison which is why he always struggled to fully fit in with them or sell properly. He looks an awful lot like them, but he still isn't an Addison. His hair also was never fully white. - Noelle is a lesbian, Susie is bi, Kris is pan, Berdly is bi, Ralsei is pan, Spamton is pan (which with Sweepstakes seems to be confirmed as canon?), Jevil is pan, Rouxls is gay, Queen is bi, Tasque is a lesbian. Aaand I can go on like this for a while haha. - After the events of the game Spamton sort of becomes Kris's adoptive uncle and Jevil Noelle's adoptive uncle. - Kris and Berdly become a couple somewhere in college. - More of a theory as of right now, but I headcanon there are multiple Knights, with there only being one TRUE Knight. - Another that's moreso a theory as of right now. But I think Ralsei is aware of the Player, knows outside knowledge and actively despises us. This is why he wants those moments alone with Kris so he can speak with them, one on one without having someone spying on them. I also don't think Ralsei is evil, but he will end up doing questionable things that will end up hurting his friends without him realizing it. - I refuse to believe Kris and Berdly dislike each other, especially after Sweepstakes. I feel like the two have a rival-like relationship and love to tease each other. But at the end of the day when all is said and done they regularly love playing games with each other and probably have the weirdest Minecrap server out of everyone haha. I mean heck, when you give the gift to Berdly Kris runs over to him of their own accord to hand it over haha. - I like to think Berdly is pretty good at painting and drawing!

Sooooo, that's all for now lmao! If I remember any that I might have missed, I'll post them somewhere over time! xD

#lizzy speaks #asks #sprout-tower #God this ended up becoming way longer than initially expected lmao #ask games #ask memes #deltarune #the sims 2

[teaveetamer]

I don't whether you've watched the PowerPuff Girls (the late 90s version, not the 2016 reboot) but there was an episode that focused on a female villain who used her gender and the inequalities they were facing to manipulate the girls into letting her go after she committed a crime. It worked at first but then after getting lectured by their teacher and the mayor's assistant the girls realized that using gender as an excuse to let the villain go after committing a crime is just as unfair. (cont)

(cont) The episode is divisive nowadays, but the point is I kinda see a similar thing going on with the Ladlestans in that they are using Ladle's gender and sexuality as an excuse to downplay and justify her actions like imperialism, racism, and genocide and if you dare criticize her actions or dislike her, then you're either a sexist/misogynist and lgbt phobic, or you're a traitor for not siding with her.

Oh gosh, that does sound vaguely familiar

Honestly that's a big trend in all of fandom at this point, not just the FE fandom. Cuz people figured out that if you dress something up in enough vaguely progressive sounding language people will be too scared to call you on your shit for fear of looking like a bigot. Plus, it lets you feel all warm and snuggly and pretend like you did activism even though, and I cannot stress this enough, yelling at random strangers on the internet for their preference in fictional characters is not activism.

[sleepywisteriah]

Hello hello! Welcome to my blog!

Here you’ll find a bunch of random FFXIV screenshots I personally love, and anything else that’s also FFXIV related (SFW only).

This is also a personal blog so expect the odd off topic post here and there (this one included). 😅

I play as a Miqo’te called Urrorah Star (Pronounced as aurora) over on the Primal Data Centre despite being British, I enjoy it more because it’s more active than the European servers. I do have other characters dotted around but I rarely ever use them.

(Just wanna add in that I do have a one year old and can be further delayed with some things but these specific delays are improving!)

I mainly play on PS4 so I can be a little slow with things, typing especially, so I do apologise for any delays.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About Urrorah

Urrorah has no memory of her past, all she remembers is waking up in hospital chambers early hours one morning, she noticed two figures in her chamber; a male and female miqo’te, both of which had claimed to her that they were her biological parents.

Once Urrorah had been sent home, this so callled ‘family’ of hers never treated her as such, she’s lost count of how many times they mistreated her. One night she decided enough was enough, packed her things and left, abandoning her village in hopes for a new start.

Upon arriving in Gridania she was welcomed by so many new people, she’d never experienced such kindness either. The scions had given her a place to call home. She had finally found her real family.

Urrorah was also lucky enough to find someone in particular who she holds very dear to her, but I t’s no secret that she’s completely smitten for one miqo’te in particular, Y’shtola. Ever since meeting each other, to the things Y’shtola’s done to protect their fellow scions, Urrorah will be in her debt for the rest of her life.

During the final events of ShadowBringers, Urrorah was injured during the fight with Emet Selch, resulting in her being left half blind due to all the light leaving her body, she had passed out not long after the whole ordeal.

Once she had awoken in her chamber, she was unable to see anything out of her right eye, not even the smallest traces of aether, even after countless healing magiks, for a fair while all she could feel was an excruciating burning sensation all around her right eye, it doesn’t bother her much nowadays but it’s still healing. Urrorah has since had trouble relaxing when strolling through the markets due to her half blindness.

Likes:

Being around Y’shtola and G’raha

Joking around with the twins

Sharing her adventurous tale with the youth

Being around all the scions

Meeting new faces

Hot chocolate

Cookies

Salmon (she’s likely to get super clingy if this is given to her often)

Head pats

Ear scritches

Dislikes:

Any surprise interaction to do with her right side (unless you want her to toss you over her shoulder, it’s only acceptable if she’s aware of your presence)

spicy food (especially after that one curry at Radz-at-Han)

Abandonment

Dishonesty

People grabbing her tail without permission

People yanking on her tail

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So yeah, that about sums that up! I ain’t no writing expert but you get the general idea. 😂 I am also open to any constructive criticism just please BE GENTLE!

I’m also on the lookout for moots to play/discuss FFXIV with! 😊

My socials! All completely optional!

TikTok: SleepyBisquit

Instagram: SleepyBisquit

Twitch: Sleepy_Bisquit (I do not own a mic for my ps4, but I plan on getting one in the future.)

Discord: sleepybisquit

*Edits: Overhauled everything to make it less lengthy, also added her likes/dislikes.

#intro post #looking for friends #lgbtqia #ffxiv exodus

[fmp2emilycywinski]

Logan

I haven’t watched this movie before but apparently, it's about a man named Logan who is retired but makes sure to escort a young girl named Laura who is a mutant. They run into many mutants on the way who ran from an evil corporation that has been experimenting with them.

This movie sounds very interesting. I'm researching this movie due to its mutant parts of the movie plus the young girl that accompanies Logan. This movie seems very cool and reminds me a lot of “The Last Of Us” because of the main characters where Joel is escorting Ellie to the fireflies. This Logan movie and “The Last Of Us” series are quite similar in a way.

This movie seems very cool but I love the idea of a young girl that is ready to protect herself. There is something really interesting about a young girl trying to survive. I think that nowadays people would make a movie about older women kicking butt and protecting themselves. It's very girl boss which is fin but comes off in a woke way since all of the news movies, including Disney are doing this which doesn't feel genuine. It only feels like they are doing it just to make other people happy which is a small amount.

Anyway, when it's a female child, it feels different somehow. It's more upsetting to see a child that should have had a normal childhood go through something that only adults should go through. Is more emotional.

I think the reason why most people don't like movies with older women being a badass is. Isn't used because she is a woman but because the writers write these movies as if we already like the character. As if we are supposed to like her. But truthfully, because of this, the character becomes an empty shell. The person we never get to understand or see what go through every day in their life. We don't sympathize with any of these characters which causes us to dislike them when they achieve something, because we just simply don't care. If we don't know you, we don't care about what you achieve.

So that's why we like child kickass characters more, because, from the get-go, we already sympathize because they are an innocent child.

However, since my idea is Little Red Riding Hood, should I make the character a child or an adult? Well, I did go on a conversation explaining why children are superior in this situation. However, I did explain how I know how to fix the problem with adult female characters so I could challenge myself to give this adult character a good background story and make her likeable enough to actually be liked by the audience.

I will think more on it.

#research

[ordinaryschmuck]

Why I (Want to) Love Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure

Salutations random people on the internet who most likely won’t read this. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

When I heard Disney was making an animated series based on Tangled, acting as a continuation from the original movie, my initial thought was, "Why?"

Sure, Disney is infamous for its unnecessary sequels of the story after happily ever after, with the many, many, many failures that follow suit. Even then, though, most of these continuations were movies that kind of have the potential to tell more of a story. But what more could be said about Tangled? Sorry to spoil a movie that's over ten years old at this point, but by the end of it: Rapunzel lost her golden hair, was reunited with her parents, fell in love, and lived happily ever after. Her losing the golden hair is the most essential part of that list because how can you do a series based on a Disney princess when her most iconic feature is gone? Then I found out that the series forced a way for her hair to come back, and my new initial thought became, "Oh man. This is gonna suck, isn't it?"

Despite the hesitation, I decided to give it a chance anyway. After all, I've been pleasantly surprised before. Things like My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, The Mitchells vs. the Machines, and even The Owl House (yes, really), were shows (and a movie) that I didn't think would be that special. Only to find myself enjoying nearly every minute. So after watching Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure, I can certainly say I was surprised...but it was entirely for the wrong reasons.

And to explain how requires spoilers. So if you haven't checked the series out yet, I highly suggest you do it to form your own opinion. Just keep in mind that it's a bit of a mess, but it can be an enjoyable mess...sometimes...let me explain.

WHAT I LIKED

The Animation/Art Style: The series swapping from 3D to 2D might have been the most brilliant decision anyone could have ever made with this series. Usually, when an animated movie gets turned into a show, the most noticeable downgrade is always the animation. Whether it’s not as detailed or not as fluid, it's always subjective that the movie is better animated than the series. But by switching up the styles, the contrast becomes objective instead. 2D and 3D animation each have their pros and cons, so deciding which one is better is nothing more than a matter of opinion. So by changing the style, Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure avoids getting complaints of being a downgrade from the original movie. It also helps that the art style of the series is really unique.

The best way to describe how the show looks is that it's like a coloring book brought to life. At times, everything looks like it was drawn and colored in with crayons, which sounds like an insult, but in actuality, it's one of the best features of the series. As much as I love most animated shows nowadays, I will admit, they all look a little too similar at times. Then here comes Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure, which tries to incorporate a whole new style that successfully sets it apart from most shows.

As for the animation itself, it's really well-made! It's remarkably expressive when required, while the movements are really fluid during the correct scenes. Sure the fighting can be a little floaty during some action set pieces (yes, those exist here), but the dialogue and comedic moments are really where the series shines with its animation. I may have problems with the series as a whole, but I give credit where credit is due for the perfectly executed effort that I see in every episode in terms of animation.

Rapunzel and Eugene’s relationship: This was not something I was expecting to enjoy from the series. In the movie, Rapunzel and Eugene were fine. They were the typical Disney couple that worked off of each other enough that it was always entertaining, even if it was unbelievable that they fell deeply in love with each other after, like, two days. They weren't bad, but they weren't anything to go crazy over.

But the writers for the series said, "You know what, let's make these two adorable in nearly every scene they're in." And they are!

Even though I don't believe in their relationship in the movie, I fully believe it here. Both characters have a large amount of faith in one another on top of having endless love for their partner. Like how Eugene knew Rapunzel would be fine when taking out an airship or how Rapunzel couldn't bring herself to say a bad thing about Eugene when making Cassandra a sparring dummy of him. It's legitimately pleasant to watch, to the point where I put Rapunzel and Eugene in my top ten list of favorite fictional couples. They're that good to me, and it's one of the reasons why I don't jump on the bandwagon of shipping the two main female characters together. I'm all for LGBTQA+ representation, but give Cassandra her own girlfriend. Rapunzel's taken, and most of my enjoyment of this show comes from her and her man. So, you know, keep things as they are.

Cassandra (Seasons One and Two): Seeing how I've already mentioned her, let's talk about Cassandra, shall we? Because when making a series based on a movie that had only four prominent characters, with two of them being comedic animal sidekicks, you're going to need to introduce more members to the main cast to write more potential stories. And Cassandra, in Seasons One and Two (I'll get to Season Three), is a worthy addition. She acts as a strict straight man (I know the irony) who interacts well with Rapunzel and clashes perfectly with Eugene on occasion. She was passably entertaining in Season One and developed amazingly in Season Two. Her growing frustrations with Rapunzel's actions lead to a slow build-up that made her betrayal heartbreaking but somewhat understandable. And as for the results in that betrayal...yeah, I'll get into that later. For now, I'll just say that Cassandra was a pleasant addition to the main cast, especially when she was a part of the main trio, and she's yet another good surprise that the writers supplied for the series.

The Songs: The songs are...not going to be for everyone. Most of them are passable yet kind of generic, while others sound like they belong on Disney Junior (Looking at you, "Bigger Than That"). But when Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure makes a hit, MAN, it is a home run. Numbers like "Ready As I'll Ever Be" and "Nothing Left to Lose" are sung phenomenally, orchestrated well, and are songs I can listen to on repeat multiple times. And "Waiting in the Wings" is not only something I consider to be the best song in the series, but it's also something I'd place as high up on Disney's best due to how f**king incredible it is. "Waiting in the Wings" is a powerful ballad that manages to be both tragic yet inspiring on top of how well it sums up Cassandra as a character. The writers may not always be on top of their game when it comes to music, but songs like these prove that they know how to earn that Disney name.

And that’s all I have for the likes...Oh boy. That’s not a good thing is it?

WHAT I DISLIKED

It Peaked at Season One: It did. It really did.

Season One felt like the writers had a grip on what type of show they wanted: A slice-of-life series with Rapunzel dealing with the issues of her kingdom with a meager threat of these black rocks growing in the background. It was all cute and well-balanced for the most part, but that all disappears in Season Two. Because now it's sort of about this adventure, but because Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure set itself as a slice-of-life series, there need to be these small-scale stories that intertwine the grand narrative being told. The issue is that the story comes to a grinding halt one too many times as fans are forced to sit through these filler episodes that, while not all of them are bad, still feel like a distraction. And by Season Three, the series does feel more focused while having some slice-of-life episodes added to the ongoing story instead of distracting us from it. But the writing isn't as strong, there are several plot holes in the narrative (how did Rapunzel's sunstone get into her dress?), and there is way too much time going back and forth on Cassandra's morality. They claim that she's a villain while arguing that there might still be some good in her, and they continue this train of thought for nine episodes when it really could have been settled in two. For me, it's a bad sign for a series when the first season is the best one. Because if it's all downhill from there, what's the point of even watching?

It Tries to be Epic: This might have been the worst decision the writers could have made.

Now, here's the thing: I don't mind grand epic tales of adventure and battles against demons. If anything, I'm all for them...when it's appropriate and fits with the tone of the series.

Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure suffers a similar problem Frozen II has, in which the writers felt like a big, life-threatening adventure was the perfect continuation of a meager, personal story about the relationships of characters. It isn't. If anything, it's completely missing the mark about what the original story was about. And sure, sometimes writers can succeed in telling personal stories through grand adventures. Just look at The Owl House and parts of Amphibia. But with those shows, it's established within the first few episodes that action and peril will be a series staple. With Tangled, while there was some action and peril, it's all very subdued compared to how high the stakes got raised in later episodes in the show. Especially in the series finale.

And, I mean, c'mon. You're making Rapunzel an action hero?

Judy Hopps? Yes.

Moana? Maybe.

Raya? Most definitely.

But Rapunzel? The character who’s all about optimism and seeing the best of others. That's the character you're going to morph into a hero that fights against an evil demon laid dormant for years? Did you even watch the original movie? Yeah, sorry, but I just don't buy it.

If you want to tell an epic story that gets the blood pumping for fans addicted to adventure, go for it! See where the wind takes you. But make sure to set that tone as early as possible while also making sure that it fits with the characters. If not, the end result is a series that feels like it's trying to be something it’s not.

Eugene is Kind of an Idiot at Times: It should be noted that Movie-Eugene and Series-Eugene are practically two different characters. In the film, Eugene was more or less the straight man, as he often questions the wackiness in the world around him and keeping Rapunzel grounded in reality. For the series, most of that personality got transferred to Cassandra. Thus making Eugene's new role in the series act as the egotistical imbecile. Sure, he had those moments in the film, but not as frequently, and it really pains me when the writers really lean hard into a minor aspect of his personality. Sometimes there are moments when Eugene acts like his original self. But it's all small scenes that are spread apart with entire episodes where he has half a brain cell. I'm sure some people didn't mind this change to the character, but as someone who adores the movie version of Eugene, I can't help but feel disappointed.

The Villains are the Worst: Now, I don't mean the one-off villains that show up, cause some chaos for a bit, and disappear at the end of the episode. Those are characters with fun personalities, occasionally cool designs, and do their job as villains of the week. It doesn't matter if their motivations are laughably simple, as their purpose is to be enjoyable characters above anything else. So I actually enjoy those villains...it's the ones that act as season-long antagonists that really grind my gears.

The purpose behind these types of foes is to build up how evil they are throughout the season. The issue is that the writers try to give these characters, or at least two of them, a point. To be fair, this can work. Just look at Killmonger from Black Panther and sometimes Karli Morgenthau from The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. You understand and probably even sympathize with the logic and reasoning these characters have. It's just that their actions couldn't be farther from what you would do. The problem with Varian and Cassandra is that they have the motivation, but it's not written suitably for the story.

Cassandra is a whole can of worms I'll get to in a minute, but Varian is someone I can easily discuss for a brief time. Because while I can comprehend his pain for having his father frozen in yellow rock, I don't think turning evil is the best decision to go with that character. Because A. Everything is his fault. He blames Rapunzel for not helping him, but even if she didn't have a crisis to deal with, there was nothing she could have done to stop it. His frustrations are not only unjustified, but given the fact that this wouldn't have happened if he listened to his father in the first place, it feels like him becoming evil is too drastic of a turn. And B. Varian worked much better as a supporting character rather than a primary antagonist. He was just this hopeful, if not a clumsy scientist who wanted to prove himself, who causes minor catastrophes due to not thinking ahead. Turning a character like Varian into a villain is a bit of a misstep because if the guy acts hilariously incompetent as a good guy, it makes little sense to have him be intelligent and ten steps ahead of Rapunzel when being evil. If he were to become more serious and careful when helping the rest of the main cast, I'd consider that character progression done properly. But becoming a villain is just an overreaction.

However, none of that compares with my issues with the main antagonist of the series: Zhan Tiri. This goes back to my problems with the series making itself too epic. Because if Zhan Tiri existed in any other show, I probably wouldn't have any problem with her. She's built up well throughout all three seasons and is kind of threatening at times. But she doesn't belong in a series based on a movie that dealt with a small, personal issue where it wasn't even the character who killed the villain in the end. It was her love interest and animal sidekick. Even if Zhan Tiri works well as a character, the fact that it doesn't feel like she belongs in the show makes her too distracting to enjoy. And that's why these villains suck. If not poorly written, they don't belong in a series that should focus on small-scale issues. And if you can functionally write an antagonist that appears for only one episode but flounder with ones that show up in several, well, that's just embarrassing.

Cassandra (Season 3): OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH BOY, do I have some words to express with this character. Like with Movie-Eugene and Series-Eugene, Cassandra from Seasons One and Two is frustratingly different from the psychotic IDIOT from Season Three. Basically, just take the issues I have with Varian, multiply them by ten, add them with some bafflingly stupid decisions, and you still wouldn't get how much Season Three-Cassandra frustrates me!

First off, her motivation...what the f**k were the writers thinking? The big reason why Cassandra betrays Rapunzel and motivates all of her misdeeds was that Cassandra's mother was Mother Gothal...EXPLAIN THAT LOGIC TO ME?! Because Cassandra should know what type of woman Mother Gothal was. She should know what Mother Gothal did to Rapunzel in the first eighteen years of her life. So how is Cassandra being abandoned by Gothal the central motivator to cut ties with Rapunzel, who is probably an even bigger victim in this scenario!? Seriously, Rapunzel was cut off from the rest of the world and treated as an unknowing prisoner because she was beneficial to Gothal. Cassandra was adopted into a household with mutual love and got to actually live her life. In no way does it make sense for her to be angry at Rapunzel.

Nor does it make sense that the writers try to play it off as a good thing in the song "Crossing the Line!" Sure, it sounds nice, but thematically, it gives across the opposite feelings that the audience should have. Because if Cassandra cutting ties with Rapunzel is meant to be tragic and awful, why is the music suggesting it's the best possible thing that's ever happened for the character? If you like the song, fine, but even you have to admit that it's thematic nonsense.

But, sure. Cassandra's evil now, and she considers it a good thing. Whatever. I'll take it as long as it leads to good stories...but here's the thing: In the penultimate episode before the three-part series finale, Cassandra asks a question. A question I would have never expected her to ask, despite everything that has happened in the last season. A question that was so baffling, I had to legitimately pause the episode to process the fact that she asked something so stupid. Because Cassandra, the character who is intelligent and grounded in reality, asked, "Am I the bad guy?"

I was honestly shocked to find out she was shocked! How, in the flying, everlasting, cock-a-doodle-doodling F**K does a person like her not pick up that maybe, just maybe, she isn't the hero in this story!? Call me crazy, but endangering the lives of people you once called friends and family, dressing in black, AND HAVING A GIANT EVIL-LOOKING TOWER MADE OUT OF F**KING SPIKES aren't qualities I would give to a hero!

If Cassandra was like Thanos, a character so wrapped up in his ego that he can't even notice how evil he is, I would understand. But she doesn't have an ego. Anger, yes. But for the most part, her personality is based on having logic and reasoning. So turning her into a villain and having her unaware that she's a villain is an act of lunacy that I am incapable of understanding. I don't know who's idea this was, but whoever is to blame...you've got issues.

>Sighs<...This series isn't good, is it?

IN CONCLUSION

I like the animation and some of the characters...but that's not enough. Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure is a mess of a show that tries to do too much for a story that should have so little. Meaning that it's a D+ for me. I want to enjoy it and give it a higher grade, especially with how much I hear people praise this series. And if you do enjoy it, all the power to you. Your opinions are valid, even if I highly disagree with them. Because for me, this is a show that I won't get myself tangled up in again in the future.

#tangled: the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #rapunzel x eugene #tangled cassandra #tangled varian #zhan tiri #what i thought about

[13eyond13]

Sorry to make you confuse.I mean Tsugumi Ohba as an author success at his peak works such as Death Note and Bakuman but,after that he created platinum end and,I'm sure you know how it was. Seeing his new work fall like that just scarred me to step into this career.

Oh I see, okay. Well I understand why that's something that would frighten you, and from what I have seen the life of a mangaka for Shonen Jump type stuff is actually pretty gruelling and thankless work a lot of the time. Many of them seem to work every single day of their lives with zero breaks, and sleep maybe 4 hours a night or so, and it really does seem like even if you're one of the wildly successful ones you're basically always trying to meet a looming deadline and worrying that your series will stop being as popular and get cancelled or whatever. It isn't the type of life I personally would want, as I am a big fan of striking a healthy balance between work and rest and play, even if I often do really admire their creativity and discipline and enjoy the stories that they put out.

But anyway, I don't think sitting around worrying about this stuff will be very productive for your creativity if you're sincerely passionate about writing and drawing for a living that way. The best way to get better and feel more confident is to actually do the work of practicing your craft and striving not to be too ignorant and lazy and influenced by harmful stereotypes about other people you don't already know or understand or identify with/as yourself, probably. I think respecting your audience is a major part of not having a fall from grace as a content creator like that. Audiences are pretty smart and sophisticated about their media nowadays, and they have a ton of stuff out there to choose from for being entertained and informed. So it's not like the audience or the critics are really being unfairly cruel to Ohba by thinking that Platinum End isn't as good as Death Note, or even Bakuman, and it's fine to dislike or ignore a piece of work because you find the content within it boring or upsetting or offensive or cliche or badly done. I'm sure Ohba is doing just fine financially and so on due to having such a hugely successful classic hit like DN on his hands, so he is not really in a position of being a poor misunderstood underdog who just needs some sympathetic understanding right now or anything like that. And he does wield a ton of potential influence over others as a famous creator being given such a widely read platform to publish what he makes, so I sometimes get very angry when I think about something like an impressionable young person reading his work and taking all the negative things about women in it to heart, which is why I always feel like I have to bring it up. Having read other series from other male mangaka likely from the same generation as Ohba it is clear to me that many of them are not nearly as hateful or lazy in how they depict the same kinds of characters in their works, so this seems like an Ohba problem for the most part to me. And even if a large portion of his audience aren't particularly progressive with their politics and views, and even if they agree with the harmful stereotypes and enjoy the sleazy shock value like the stuff found in PE, I really don't think that stories full of that many hollow depictions of people and so little original food for thought will end up appealing to audiences very universally or end up withstanding the test of time. So I personally think that unless Ohba wants to step up his game and put some real legwork into becoming a little more informed and empathetic and less ignorant and constantly relying on gross shock value and cheap sleaze that he will be rightly given less praise for his new work, or even permanently lose some of his admirers who liked the work he did previously. Something like Death Note is still obviously not perfect in things like how it unfairly depicts the female characters at times, but it certainly has a lot more interesting originality and substance to it worth enjoying and sharing with others like we are doing in the fandom right now than Platinum End does. And I think that's why it's still so well-regarded even today.

I would focus more on just being the best writer you can be for now, and on making sure that if you don't really understand a group of people yourself yet and feel like you might be writing them in an ignorant way that you should try your best to educate yourself about what it's actually like to be them first. Genuinely listen to and talk to the people in those groups in a nonjudgmental and open-minded way about their experiences and struggles and fears and hopes and dreams before you try to depict them in your work. Reading and watching a wide variety of things made by a wide variety of people and traveling to new places can always help you become better informed as well. And I think that's something that many successful writers make a point of doing consistently anyway, so it will only serve to help you always be improving in your craft.

#ask #anon #writing #p

[yourdesertsunflower]

Analysis/Opinion, Boruto Episode 178

Cause when they do something right that is worth watching I got to give them credit. 

Okay, okay, okay.  What the hell did just happen? Boruto almost made me tear up? Yes, almost.  I know I’m late (way too late, and I haven’t seen this weeks episode to be honest) but I needed to speak about this episode because, causing me to almost tear up is somthing that both OG Naruto and Naruto Shippuden only did in other occasion which, uncoincidentally, involving the same two characters. But well, we get more into it later but before starting with the analysis, which will be done in chronological order, I will just warn you: SPOILERS! Now yes, let’s get into it. 

At the beginning of the chapter I already knew this was going to be good. Like, really good. The first shot showing Shikadai tying up his hairs lacks of subtlety yet is a very good symbol and a clear indicator of what will come up next. Nara’s pineapple hair is quite a staple for the clan, it show us the tradition passed down from generation to generation. It’s, also, something that connects, both in a visual but also symbolical level, all three grandfather, father and son. Having Shikadai tie up his hair at the beginning of the chapter just was a sneak peak of all to come, how in some moment Shikamaru will have to do the same as his father and entrust everything of Shikadai knowing that he’ll be able to make things right. Really short and sweet. 

The “breakfast scene”, that’s how I called it. Well, this is the only moment we actively was Temari which is sad because I’m craving for moments with her and actually thought this was a good opportunity to do so. Yet, I respect the decision that Studio Pierrot made to focus primarily on Shikamaru and secondarily on Ino, though I would have loved to see a little bit more of the later but I’ll talk about that later. 

I think the gesture of Temari talking to Shikadai before hand about everything is very telling of Temari as a character and her relationship with Shikamaru. It does not only show a deep bond between the couple, created through a deep comprehension of and care for each other which is nice. Both Temari and Shikamaru know about loss and it’s really nice that they know what each other need during the times of grieving. She doing the dishes, talking to Shikadai or giving him the space during that day feels fitting as Shikamaru is known to be someone who needs to process things on his own. However, Temari always is there, and through little acts she shows it (even I liked the strict parenting that it was displayed here, is more of what I’ll imagine Temari doing). But, yes there is no need of flashy displays she just does it everyday which, is beautiful.

I got no particular dislike of Shikadai not remembering the date. He is almost a teenager born and raised in a period of peace and it shows. Probably he had other things in his head but, boy, you are supposedly a quick thinker! If you saw not only your father unusually late at home but both your parents are dressed all in black. I really don’t think that connecting the dots was so difficult. Still, it was passable since it gave the excuse for Temari to talk (which though sad, it’s true). 

Shikamaru in this scene is anticipating what will happen through the chapter. This is an important date not only to them but the whole of the villages but, also the change between the sequences to the monument of those who died in the line of duty, the Will of Fire also sujested the grate importance that it has to him even though he doesn’t like to admit it that openly. There is something that kept ruminating in his mind since that day; something that makes that day even more than a commemoration day towards his father.

Okay now, having finished with that opening scene, let’s get into the second scene. Before entering into the more detailed thing let’s get through this first. I know people were pissed about Hinata not being part of the group while being present at the commemoration ceremony. I find this to be understandable in terms that Hinata is no longer a active jonin, and that all the once that were up in the stage were people who thought at the Fourth Great Ninja War for Konoha and still are active ninja. Does this justifies it? No, but it gives us some sort of explanation. I personally was way more focused on having Hinata bringing Neji’s portrait. I found this enduring and a really nice gesture that just makes me want to have seen more of their relationship and development in Naruto Shippuden. In the same manner though I was pissed of that Choji wasn’t that present I understand the necessity to fill a story in a 22 minute timelapse so, even though I think Choji could be easily added better within the chapter, I understand the decision to not involve him that much. In the same manner it would have been nice to see Yoshino and Choza within the people of Konoha, a real missed opportunity.

Shikamaru looking above to the sky is a lovely gesture that carries a lot through it. I often talk about how beautifully written is Shikamaru’s arc through Naruto. He is the pivotal character that I would put a focus if a coming of age story is what you are looking for. And this character arc left us with one solid idea in my opinion, sometimes what you always wanted won’t be what is given or what is needed from you. Growing up is about taking responsibilities about following the path you consider to be right and not the easiest. However in this little moment we can see a really human Shikamaru that, is not only looking up into the sky towards his lost father but his lost dreams. There is almost a melancholic tint to all this scene, because we all have times in which we wish we could be kids again and really don’t care. It’s really humanising and it is done with such a subtlety that it surprised me.

Ao coming back is still something I don’t end up getting used to, even with two rewatches of the episode. But I got to say it, even though I find it quite convenient, he fufills the role that is needed from him in this chapter being the only person that can answer the question that’ll bring peace to Ino and Shikamaru so, even though a little bit crappy in its execution I really don’t mind he survived.

Shikamaru and Ino and their talk was really fresh and something I never knew I needed. As I always said, I love Team 10 and their dynamic. There is an undying love, support and care for each team member to the others that is so wholesmome and sweet. And in this scene they were able to replicate this perfectly. The friendship between Ino and Shikamaru was always a beautiful element within the narrative because they are, in my opinion, a really good representation of a female-male friendship. And no, this doesn’t mean that you can’t ship them (I mean you do you) but it means that I think that it was a really nice scene between two friends, one a woman and the other a man, that care about each other like family and that I am sure would do anything for each other and I think that is beautiful. Friendships between men and women should be normalised on screen and I think that Ino and Shikamaru, beyond the Ino-Shika-Cho as a whole, are a really true example of what a healthy friendship can be. They joke around with each other but also don’t shy of being vulnerable and supportive.

Here enters the well known “Survivor Syndrome”, also called Survivor Guilt, something that all three main characters within the chapter have, meaning, Shikamaru, Ao and Ino. This is a mental condition that occurs when a person believes they have done something wrong by surviving a traumatic or tragic event when others did not, often feeling self-guilt. Obviously all characters show it in different degrees; for someone like Ao that guilt is turned into the inspiration to move foward with his rehabilitation in order to live for those who died but in the case of Shikamaru and Ino it is explored completely diffeng through one element, key for this chapter.

The Recurrent Question, is basically a lovely way to introduce us to syche of this two characters and better understand the weight this two characters carry beyond the leadership of their clans. Their parents died at a fairly young age and their kids were inexperienced as it regards a war of this magnitude beyond being basically teenagers. Taking all this into account, beyond Shikamaru’s characterisation which goes alonb with it, it really isn’t weird the question they have. It fairly logical, give the situation they found themselves in years ago but also nowadays as parents to the next generation. It is really a ver humanising question as it reminds us that, before being incredibly talented ninjas they are people. This is something they need to understand for personal reasons: both as son and daughter but also as parents. Compeleting that piece of the puzzle is what something will give them a much needed peace and, also the key to move foward as it’ll be gaining a better understanding of, not only their parents, but themselves

The Next Generations, is a theme that was always reinforced through all the series but specially in Team 10. This is not only given the importance the Will of Fire had for the characters that conform it but also in the genesis of the team itself. The formation of the Ino-Shika-Cho is a strategic one that is built and reinforced through tradition. Hence the strong bonds between the different he generations of these clans because, by the passing of the torch they are entrusting there lives and legacy to the following in line. They importance of trust and time become apparent as they show us the new generation of the Ino-Shika-Cho as Shikamaru says that one day they’ll entrust everything to them, unknowingly, providing him with the answer to they question he asks. But, why he doesn’t notice this? Because he had to hear it himself, showing the respect and admiration they had as shinobi. As Ino said they were heroes, real shinobi till the very end, but is that really so? I don’t think so.

Then we go to the sequence in which Ao leaves a flower to greet farewell to Inoichi and Shikaku which I think is a really nice yet simple moment. He also had the weight of never having said goodbye to them and through this gesture he is finally coming together and giving himself a much needed peace; he finally forgave himself for being the sole survivor of that division and of the destruction.

“You look just like your father”  Well that hit me on a personal level. All people since I can remember always told me I look exactly like my mother. And, as many people that also where told so may know is not something you particularly like to hear when you are a child. You want to your own individual unbound of you parents and their lives but, when you grow and loss that special someone, well it hits differently. I can imagine what those words would mean for Shikamaru, probably some needed words that we all saw coming. It’s the idea that, somehow, he is able to keep with his father’s legacy which transcends the looks. It’s nice and sweet.

And here the question comes. Since Ao was introduced it was obvious he’ll fufill this role; answer the question. It was so brave for Shikamaru to ask it, knowing the answer may not be what he may wanted. The fact he says he “sometimes” thinks about this, shows us that the question tormented him for quite some while, fifteen years. It’s really sad if you think about the uncertainty that covered this vital part of his life that would go on to affect everything, his role as an advisor, as a Shinobi and as a father. But the answer was definitely something way needed for this two, and deserved. Seeing Ino and Shikamaru (well Shikamaru almost) cry made me almost tear up. And that’s what I said previously, Inoichi and Shikamaru as so many pointed out weren’t shinobi in their last breaths but fathers. And great ones, that entrusted without doubt and absolute trust everything to Ino and Shikamaru. It was a really beautiful moment that really felt gained and I couldn’t help but smile, though it always been obvious to me, I still was nice to hear it.

I would have loved to see more of Ino and her point of view through the chapter. I think we followed Shikamaru all through it, and don’t get me wrong I am a sucker for any Shikamaru-centric episode, but it would have been lovely to see the other side of the coin, the complete story and view. So yes, my main complain with this chapter as a whole would be that.

And we get to the ending. First of all we see Shikamaru watching the clouds as he used to do when he was a child, for me a clear indicator that a big weight had been taken away from him. It’s a lovely remainder that we can still dream and recall the child we once were.

Temari sending Shikadai to find Shikamaru is really fitting and a good gesture of Temari to be honest. I think she knew he’ll need Shikadai, as I said before this two know each other so much, so I doubt this was arbitrary.

Shikamaru and Shikdai are really such great father-son duo, I really like their interactions and how Shikamaru is able to reflect himself in Shikadai, hoping that one day his son can learn something from him as he did with his father and knowing he’ll be able to entrust everything when the time comes. And, who I am lying saying that the time will come? Some people say that this was a the anime anticipating Shikamaru’s death but, to be honest, that’s something I already knew since nothing of his dream come true. He never had two children and the first was a boy, he married a stunning and troublesome woman he truly loves, he is the Hokage’s advisor and one of the most important figures in the Shinobi world. Besides, Asuma’s and Shikau’s death I think showed Shikamaru that there is a way more fitting way for a shinobi, but even more importantly for a human, to die than peacefully which will be protecting what he loves. Yes, that moment will probably break my heart but, if done correctly, it’ll be a perfect end for this character.

The only thing I got left to say, because I won’t analyse the last scene cause (being honest) I was completely taken by surprise is, what happened to Temari? I got to say, that wasn’t really nice of Shikamaru and neither of Shikadai. Shikadai was looking for Shikamaru in order to go home to Temari, who was waiting for them. I just gonna set this clear - now Studio Pierrot owes us a Nara Family Moment/ShikaTema for doing dirty at last second lmao.

Well this is my opinion/analysis of this episode of Boruto. I hope I didn’t bore you that much when reading my opinion and that you enjoyed the episode as much as I did. Have a nice day! ❤️

#boruto #episode 178 #shikamaru nara #ino yamanaka #shikaku nara #inoichi yamanaka #fourth shinobi world war #naruto #naruto shippuden #shikadai nara #inojin yamanaka #boruto next generations #temari #anime

[lothloriien]

Hi again, you said I could ask you questions about how to respectfully portray the muslim characters in my comic but my brain is dumb and as soon as I got permission to ask it forgot all my questions. So do you or your followers have any suggestions of things I should and shouldn't do? (Sorry, and thank you for helping)

oh hello again! sure thing, i got some basic pointers. im going to give you pointers for creating a character who is outwardly religious and inwardly religious as well. this is not to say that people who look religious always are, or that everyone who is religious also looks religious, but the fact is that any muslim portrayed as religious is usually oppressed or a terrorist, which is why it’s important to show religious muslims as good character

- don’t have a muslim with a story arc of them rejecting their “religious traditions” and “becoming free” and “walking away from oppression.” it’s an extremely islamophobic trope, and i can’t believe i actually have to say it, but it’s disrespectful to a religion to only portray characters who hate it. i understand that there are people who reject the religious traditions (almost all of which are actually cultural, and the rest of which are generally just taught wrong) and generally do feel as though they need to leave the religion. it happens with every religion. however when those are the only characters ever portrayed in the media, it needs to stop

- the trope of the oppressed hijabi finding love with a white guy and breaking the rules of her religion to date him because it’s ~true love~ needs to die. immediately. generally dating isn’t a thing done in our religion, not just culturally. for the most part, when you want to get married, you meet someone (usually through your friends/family, nowadays online is more popular too), you guys “court” like in a jane austen novel, then get married. it’s not difficult, and for the most part people don’t see it as a big deal

- generally i would stay away from a romance arc at all. dating is generally not done, and while yes people will do it, it’s an iffy topic. generally people try to remedy this by giving the muslim an arranged marriage love interest (see: rick riordan). this is even worse. they don’t need a love interest

- they’re usually not as close with the opposite gender. yes, again, some people are, but for example you have a hijabi character, she’s not going to take her hijab off in front of a guy because she “considers him family” (again, see: rick riordan). also most muslim women (religious ones) won’t touch a male that they aren’t related to (and vice versa, a religious guy won’t touch an unrelated girl) unless in an emergency. this is not a weird thing. i had a friend in my islamic school (he left for high school, havent spoken to him in a while), and in situations where there would normally be physical contact, we just avoided it. i was freaking out before a performance, he gave me a pep talk and we air fived. it’s completely normal and not a big deal

- in cases of a medical emergency: if a hijabi needs immediate medical attention and she doesn’t have a hijab on, the priority is her health and safety. if the doctor is a guy, so be it. nobody is gonna say “oh, 911? we have someone having a heart attack, but make sure your entire staff is female,” you just take whoever is coming. in situations where someone is able to get a hijab on her, they might try to do that, but again, it’s more likely that they’ll bring one to the hospital instead of putting it on her while she’s having a stroke. there is absolutely no sin involved here, so don’t have them freak out like omg im going to hell i dont have a hijab on. maybe they’ll feel exposed or embarrassed, but that would be about it

- if you have a hijabi character living in western society, she will probably complain about the lack of hijab-friendly clothes. she will probably look at any article of clothing that catches her eye and try to “halalify” it (”hmmm i could wear a cardigan with this and then wear that pink hijab” “if i can find sleeves to wear with that dress then i could make it work” “i’d probably need to pin the neck, it’s too wide for my hijab to cover”). she will also probably have her hair showing occasionally when it’s windy or she’s wearing a slippery material. she will also probably curse and try to cover it up when someone mentions it

- we’re normal people. we have the same interest, likes, dislikes as anyone else. just make sure you’re not writing a character who hates their religion, since that’s all too common

if you have any other specific questions, don’t hesitate to ask! im happy to answer :)

[darklightsworld]

Hello, I remember you saying some time ago you didn't like how female characters are portrayed in (current) anime because of how annoying and, maybe, misogynistic their archetypes are. Could you maybe elaborate on this point? I feel similar but can't articulate well and always end up feeling like I'm the one being misogynistic whenever this type of subject comes up in conversation x.x Sorry if this comes up as too personal.

Sorry about the late reply, I have been busy with a conference. Also sorry, because my answer is a bit long and all over the place ^^;

This is a difficult question, especially because nowadays people like to think in black and white, and everything is so extreme, like if they don’t like something, then it must be wrong and eliminated, not to mention the policing of every content based to this – which kills diversity and dismisses personal (and gendered) preferences. What I think is really a personal preference and not exactly a general critique of female characters in anime, especially because there are many factors to consider (genre, age and gender or the target audience, cultural background, etc.), and there’s also the audience with its multiple readings.

Personally I dislike most female character types manga and anime has to give, because I’m not really a person for overly feminine and girly things. The Japanese ideal is very cutesy and it’s the standard in both media for men, women and also real life. Not just looks, there is also the behavior side of things, the cutesy, childish, girly ideal, the passivity, helplessness, pretending to be stupid, etc, and I outright hate it when female characters are treated as stupid, clumsy messes. The question is, though, is this ideal really conservative and an embodiment of the toxic patriarchal system? Actually not necessarily. They definitely originate from the oppressive system, but over the decades girls made these ideals their own, and turned them into a weapon to get what they want. Even in real life, fashion is very feminine for me, always with frills, ribbons, flitters, tons of dresses and skirts, and it’s difficult to find plain clothes without any decoration, not to mention all the cuteness in goods and stuff, but as for the behavior of girls and women, the cutesy ideal seems more like a role to be played at a certain age or for certain purposes, like getting things they want and eventually the man. A woman, who didn’t like this ideal herself defined it as “they had to play the wounded deer”. Actually women, who use this role too much and even among women, are usually hated – this is the infamous burikko.

But no matter how they were in their younger years, married women don’t use this role anymore, and they seamlessly slip into a different identity, one that rules the family and the finances with iron fist (I’m stereotyping) – nothing cutesy, helpless or stupid about that. The Japanese themselves are aware of this cutesy role, both men and women, it’s their version of cunning flirtatiousness, it’s just a very different type of flirtatiousness than in the West. For example, there is currently even a tv show enacting certain situations where this cutesy behavior is used to get the man, and the hosts rate how effective the cutesy behavior was. But while I understand intellectually that these are not necessarily misogynistic stereotypes, I have some kind of a visceral hatred for them. The above tv show makes me outright nauseous. It’s a personal preference, and I don’t think I have to like these character types. But I also don’t think they should be erased from Japanese media, and it would be a mistake trying to push my very independent Western values onto such a different culture, so I rather avoid these characters – which is not easy.

So, what does this mean for anime and manga? Both are largely determined by genres (manga more than anime), genres work with clean-cut character types, tropes, traditions and reader expectation, so there is a reason why female (and male) characters are the way they are in different genres. Male-oriented works will obviously have female characters that appeal to men even if the work doesn’t have in your face fanservice shots (though let’s face it, if it’s anime, most of them do). I don’t like these female character types, I don’t think I have to like them, they are clearly not geared toward me, but I also don’t think they shouldn’t be there in a clearly male-oriented media. Sure, there can be discussions about removing overly exploitive situations, harassment and rape or things like that, but I’m not really against letting men have their fun – because I expect to have that same freedom in media geared toward women. There are occasionally unisex anime, but usually they still serve one or the other demographic in a way, and I don’t think it’s possible to create truly unisex anime that everybody will be satisfied with – fanservice for women will always bother men, and fanservice for men will always bother women.

Shōjo manga is a more difficult question, because somewhere in the 70s romance started to focus on imperfect heroines who still got the best guy, because he loved them regardless of their imperfections (“I love you the way you are”), and since then the genre is full of the stupid, clumsy, indecisive, housewife material archetype without any dreams beyond getting the boy (or very old-school women job dreams), which does not appeal to me either, so I usually avoid most romance shōjo manga, especially the high school variant, and even most josei manga, because I don’t care for the adult version of the same with marriage as the end goal *shrug* Actually it’s not even about these things only, like, I disliked Arte too (though not shōjo manga), despite it trying (and failing) to pose as a feminist social commentary, just because the mc way annoying. Fortunately there are a lot of other types of shōjo manga as well, even with more appealing female characters or the best, without female characters (plus the whole BL scene), so it’s not all that bad, at least in manga, not so much in anime. Interestingly, I’m much more compatible with shōjo manga by fujoshi artists. If I like a shōjo manga, usually the artist ends up coming out as a fujoshi after a while by posting BL fanart on her twitter or drawing outright BL manga – it’s been a pattern XD

Anime is more difficult, but I also admit, that my tastes might be extreme. In Japan there are many female fans who love the cute female characters of male-oriented media. Many women like Love Live, for example, because the girls are, I quote, “so cuuuuuute” – while I am fighting nausea… Yeah, Japan is imbued with cute. It’s especially difficult, because I’m usually not willing to watch a series even if there are such female characters in supporting roles or as a second protagonist with male characters I would love to see (Cop Craft was a recent-ish example). And while I avoid female only casts on principle, sometimes there are surprises. For example, the Yashahime anime has terrible writing, but I don’t hate the three main female characters (even if occasionally the anime has some iffy things to say about femininity).

I also mentioned multiple readings. It is important to note that the audience does not necessarily interpret everything the same, especially if there are cultural differences. One of the most famous examples for this is Sailor Moon, which was the incarnation of girl power and emancipation in the West in the 90s, but it has the same “dumb heroine gets the dream guy” trope, and the same conservative message of getting married and giving birth to children as any average shōjo manga, and the same “so cuuuuute” packaging. It really depends on the audience what they get away with.

All in all there are preferences, genre conventions, cultural differences, so the whole thing is quite difficult. But I don’t think you need to be worried about not liking or being uncomfortable with certain character types. And it would be a stretch to consider tastes like mine, for example, misogynistic. Sure, even in real life I make a wide berth around overly girly or feminine women (among others), but it can’t be helped, you can’t like and be friends with everyone, and I guess they wouldn’t like me or wanting to be my friend either. And that’s fine, and I don’t think it’s misogynistic for me to reject certain types of femininity for myself and to interact with, as long as I don’t want to erase or invalidate them, or deem them as inferior – and I don't. Of course, this is the attitude I expect towards myself as well. Live and let live 🖖

#magnoliawaltz

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #383

“the big bully try to stick his finger in my chest  /  try to tell me, tell me he’s the best  /  i don’t really give a good goddamn ‘cuz i got my lunchbox & i’m armed real well”

Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? Well yeah. Most of my friends are online, and while I've seen pictures of most at least once or twice, some I still haven't. The last time you threw up, what caused it? It was a side effect of a mood stabilizer I started. Any foods from other countries you would like to try but haven’t yet? I'm sure there's something, idk. Do you think the world would be more peaceful without any religion? Yes. Have you ever had a stalker? No. Does it hurt your feelings when people talk shit about things you love? It makes me self-conscious way more than anything. I start to obsess over whether or not the person things poorly or weirdly of me for liking what I like. I just feel judged for liking it, but that's my problem. Do you like it when people give you nicknames? I do, actually. It feels kinda affectionate to me. Do you often find yourself checking out people’s butts? Haha I'm not gonna say it's never happened, but it's not something I make a habit out of for sure. What fandoms are you in? MEERKAT MANOR IS BACK BAYBEEEE, Markiplier, Silent Hill, Shadow of the Colossus, World of Warcraft, Spyro, Wings of Fire, and lots more, honestly. I'm into a lot of stuff, and I don't love in moderation, haha. Are there any fandoms you used to be in, but left? Yeah, like Supernatural, Good Mythical Morning, or Warriors, but it wasn't out of "I don't like it anymore" or anything, I just drifted away. Anything the fans in your fandoms do that pisses you off? World of Warcraft if particular has one of the most toxic fucking fanbases. There are so many goddamn elitists and people who whine about "boohoo WoW is dying" and "omg this game has been trash since Wrath" and yada yada yada and it's annoying as hell. They always find some shit to complain about. Then Silent Hill... ugh. I think people just hop onto the "the series sux after 1-4" bandwagon to fit in with a certain crowd, but that's not the main thing that annoys me; rather, it's the fact the former main admin of the SH wiki made a fucking joke out of us there. He was clearly having personal issues and made a HUGE and utterly ridiculous deal of Silent Hill 4 having heavy symbolism to the main character being obsessed with the bullshit idea of him being circumcised, and it led to a maaaassive thread of us members trying to talk some damn sense into him as he abused his power. He was finally banned by the Wikia staff, but not in time for some gaming websites to publish "news" stories about it because it was just that ludicrous. Now, YEARS later, we still get trolls coming onto the site to try and revive the drama by inserting absolute rubbish into pages or making new ones. Nowadays I'm the main administrator there, and it's fucking embarrassing sometimes. I'm supposed to keep the wiki under control and respected, you know? Ugh, I'll stop. I could rant for a very long time about this. Do you prefer ruffly or regular potato chips? Ruffly. Do you write down your own recipes, or just commit them to memory? I don’t cook. What color do you want to dye your hair? My top three are pastel pink, lilac, and a light creamsicle orange. I REALLY want to dye it SOMETHING. :( How do you like your chicken? Of course breaded (like nuggets, tenders) is my favorite, but I also enjoy is broiled and seasoned well. There's other ways, but because I don't cook, I, uh... don't know how a lot are made lmao. Do you enjoy cheese fries? UUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH YES. Do you eat refried beans? I absolutely hate beans, so no. What is a food you enjoy, but don’t have very often? A whole lot because a lot of it is from restaurants and we don't eat out all that much. As well, my diet is very narrow just because of how picky I am. Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? Why? I mean, what are we comparing them for? I think Audrey is fucking gorgeous, though. Marilyn is also beautiful. Favorite fictional world? Uh, I dunno. Do you use lint rollers often? No. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I want to. Has your power ever gone out for more than a day? I think so. Other than a dislike button, what’s something you wish Facebook had? Hm, I dunno. What time do your parents normally get home from work? Mom can't work right now, but I think Dad gets off around 5PM. Are you afraid to ask people out on dates? Yep. Do you think it’s better to look for love or let it find you? Both can work, but I definitely prefer to let it find me. I feel that *in general* that usually has better results. Have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment? No. I'm a very committed person romantically. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? No. Have you ever had a rash from poison ivy? I don't believe so, no. Do you have any chairs in your bedroom? No. Did you watch Elmo as a child? Some, yeah. Do you know anyone who doesn’t eat meat? I don't think so, off the top of my head. When you throw up, do you cry? No, but I'm a whiner and will also shake from fear because I have such a phobia of vomiting. Doing it totally turns me into a baby. Who was the last person to carry you? I couldn't tell you the last person to full-on carry me, but back when I tore a ligament in my foot, my mom kinda had me lifted when she would help me walk. Is it easy for you to accept loss? Absolutely not. I handle it very, very poorly. Have you done anything sneaky lately? No. Have you ever had a rolling back pack? Yes. Who knows you better than anyone else? My mom, probably. Would you ever want to go to Brazil? Sure, if the opportunity came up. Are there any medical conditions that run in your family? A lot, mostly heart problems. What band has the best guitar solos? Metallica imo. Who is the biggest jerk you've ever met? She was somehow my former best friend. Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I've never been in that situation, thankfully. What's a charity you would never donate to? I'm really not familiar enough with charities and their practices to know which ones are sketch or not. Have you ever grown your own herbs? No. Do you have any exes you'd consider dating again? Yes. What were some of your favorite classes you took in high school? Art and German. Mythology was fun, too. Do you know anyone with a profession in law? Yeah, I have a cousin that's a lawyer. Have you ever Googled yourself? Yeah, outta curiosity. What's the shortest amount of time you've had between relationships? Like, two days. Part of the reason I left Girt was because I liked Sara. As a child, what comfort foods did your parents make for you when you were sick with a cold or flu? Chicken noodle soup. What's a movie series where the sequel was better than the original? Ha, for some reason Inspector Gadget came to mind. I guess from mentioning my childhood. I was FUCKING OBSESSED with that movie as a kid. The first one's fine, but I love the second one. Does your car have heated seats? Mom's doesn't. What is the strangest pizza topping you've ever eaten? Nothing strange, really. Describe your hometown. What’s it like there? Small and dangerous. Lots of run-down areas. A gang nearly broke into our house once, if that helps you get the picture. What was the last video game you beat? I replayed Silent Hill 2 forever ago. What did you learn from your last failed relationship? It really just taught me that you need to take care of your own mental health before you can effectively handle another's properly and strike a healthy balance. What country does your favorite band hail from? Britain. What’s something on your to-do list that never actually gets done? Finish decorating my room. -_- Have you ever been really passionate about something but then lost interest? If so, what was it? Good Mythical Morning, I suppose. I used to be OB-SESSED. I still adore Rhett and Link as people, they are fucking wonderful human beings and excellent entertainers, I just drifted away from their content. I don't really know why. Do you sleep with the TV or the radio on? No. What’s the worst thing about being male/female (whichever you are)? Menstrual cycles, I'd say. It affects your mood so much, and as someone who's bipolar, it can be very confusing. I like to know why I'm feeling a certain way. What movie has the best special effects? /shrug How many work hours per week is too much for you? I wouldn't know, I've never really worked long enough to figure this out. Can you remember your first day of school? I think I have the faintest memory of it. I know I was very scared to leave my mom (I had absolutely awful separation anxiety from her) and I MIGHT have cried, but I don't really recall with certainty. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No thanks. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Most, no, because the level of cringe is LITERALLY unbearable for me. Do you have a safe? Mom does somewhere. What’s the scariest thing to happen to you so far? The breakup. That night was just fucking terrifying. I was so certain my life was over, like the situation was so, so impossible in my head. What was your last dream about? (or your daydream if you don’t remember) My memory's faint, but I just remember I had a nightmare where a LOT of my bones were totally snapped in half. When was the last time you saw a relative? Excluding my immediate family, I last saw my now-departed grandmother and my uncle a while back at a hotel as they were passing through. Have you ever been in a TV audience? No. Are you in any way close to reaching a personal goal? Not really... Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Do you like making collages? Not really. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? No. What would you love to learn to do? Digital art, like drawing on a tablet. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Lemurs. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot, 100%. Are you more shy in real life or on the internet? I am WAY more shy irl.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''lunchbox'' by marilyn manson

[josie-effortposts]

The Woman Who Fell to Earth

I stopped watching Doctor Who in 2013 after the 50th anniversary special. Up to then I was deeply obsessed by its reams of stories, hidden subspaces and detailed production histories. It wasn’t just entertainment, it was a case study in a massive shared universe, and a direct function of the times and places it had been written. 

It’s never been very controversial to anyone I know to dislike Moffat’s run of the show, and as it drew to a close everything that followed seemed pretty well-telegraphed: Chris Chibnall would become the head of the show, it wouldn’t be very good, reactionaries would blame bad writing on a female Doctor while plenty of others would just lost interest, the ratings would drop and the whole show would become less culturally relevant. It was a Cassandra truth.

But that said, I still wanted to try it. I watched a bit of the Twelfth Doctor and had mixed feelings, and when I watched the first episode of the Thirteenth I found myself taking notes on it. So, without a lot of structure, here are my thoughts.

1. New Who treats first episodes as very important, the first moments that we see new Doctors and their statements to the world. Call it a modern tradition - where “Robot” and “Time and the Rani” play the change for comedy before jumping into the week’s adventures, “The Christmas Invasion” and “The Eleventh Hour” are primarily statements of continuity. By Twelve’s first outing the villains themselves become metaphors for change, and now Thirteen delivers a brief speech about deciding to become different while paying respect to the past.

2. Speaking of that speech, I feel like there must have been an earlier draft that connected the plot to these metaphors a lot better. The villain of the story keeps pieces of his past triumphs with him at all times, but these trophies are body parts taken from the dead, and they disgust the Doctor. At least Twelve’s flesh robots were stumbling towards eternity.

The villain as a whole is just what you’d expect from a low-grade Doctor Who monster, I guess. He’s supposed to be on a hunt, which sounds really cool, but this consists entirely of him walking places and murdering random bystanders by touch. He’s not keeping the masquerade up or succeeding in his goals by doing this, and the rest of the story implies that he’s at least shrewd about getting what he wants. The Doctor’s complaints against him center on him being a cheat who can’t do the hunt fair and square and on his desecrating corpses, but she never seems very angry at him over murdering people. 

The idea of the Doctor stopping a proper hunt actually sounds interesting to me, especially as someone who sat through all of DWAD’s The Most Dangerous Game. There’s a lot of suspense in dealing with an intelligent, directed killer with a small number of targets, be it in Predator or Day of the Jackal, and a villain that stalks, hides or sets up ambushes could be easier on the budget. Or you could keep the villain the same but add a second member of his species to the setting and have them in competition, conflict on conflict. (That sounds like it’d make a good module for TIMELORD, actually...)

3. The Doctor feels simplified. I don’t mean the new personality of this incarnation, although I think the slight amnesia-until-climax is a bit forced. There’s just stuff that comes off wrong. For instance, things are outlawed in “every civilized galaxy” and the villains traveled from “five thousand galaxies away”. Despite ostensibly going anywhere and anywhen, the show’s always respected some species of distance, in that going far enough away or leaving the universe itself is a pretty big deal (especially since so much of it sticks to Earth). This line could’ve been any distance and nothing else would’ve changed, but it kills the idea of space - how can galaxies be civilized? It feels like the setting is shrinking - the word just sounds big and spacey, and this is the part where the Doctor says that something’s out of place, so big, spacey words go there.

This probably sounds nitpicky, but it feels lazy. Where Davies and Moffat both repeatedly made the Doctor or companions into the Most Important People in History, Chibnall seems to take it as read that the Doctor can just do stuff as the plot demands it. The climax involves her making a jump over a dangerous drop to the gasps of all assembled, but her first appearance is after an even longer fall where she breaks through the ceiling of a train car and isn’t even scratched. She "reformats” a phone into some kind of tracking gadget with six seconds of thumb typing and builds a new sonic screwdriver out of random scrap, which then solves basically every issue in the story. And, naturally, she can pinpoint things from a billion light-years away.

My favorite Moffat story is probably “The Eleventh Hour” because it presents the Doctor with a genuine challenge at his most vulnerable. If he had his regular tools handy then it would’ve been a much more straightforward Doctor Who story, but there’s no time to stop and build a new sonic screwdriver, because people are going to die by the time he’s finished. I wish more modern stories had that.

4. I can’t tell how I should feel about the side characters here. Not the companions, although it feels like Chibnall looked at RTD’s companions and thought “why not bring the entire family along?” There’s just this odd tension in characterization between comedy and drama for them, and without a very detailed soundtrack it’s hard to tell what emotions the script’s trying to go for.

One of the hunter’s victims has spent years trying to find his missing sister after another hunter abducting her. Instead of any resolution coming to that story he just gets murdered without ever knowing what happened to her and then the Doctor commandeers his workshop. (It’s even made clear that these human trophies are all still alive, just “in stasis”, so there’s no reason to think they couldn’t save her and presumably several others.) Meanwhile one of the main characters suffers a short fall and dies, taking up most of the final act with a funeral despite us hardly knowing her.

Other victims are worse. A man throws pieces of his salad at the monster for no discernible reason - he doesn’t even seem drunk, and then he dies as the hunter crushes that salad underfoot. A security officer gives a heartfelt goodbye to his family and tells them what a lucky granddad he is, then walks offscreen to be murdered. Neither of these scenes had to happen, and both together don’t even fill a minute of the runtime, so what was the motivation? The first is at least charmingly odd, but both of them feel like bizarre, extremely cheap set-pieces.

The soon-to-be-trophy himself listens to positive affirmations in a crane, then shouts them as he’s being chased. “I’m important! I matter!” The implication would seem to be that this is goofy behavior, and yet the things he shouts are in some ways the themes of the show. Is this self-critical deconstruction, unabashed humanism poorly delivered, a running gag?

5. The other half of a new Doctor, classic or modern, is this shedding of old things. Not always in terms of showrunners, but sometimes in attitudes or fans. The change from Six to Seven was motivated by a desire to change the tone of the show, for instance. Nowadays this is reflected a lot by the fandom - every Doctor has newcomers who jump back out because they don’t want their hero to be replaced, but the jump to Eleven confronted a lot of younger fans with this for the first time. Then Twelve culled some fans who couldn’t stand the Doctor being old and unkissable, and now Thirteen’s wiped out her own contingent of grognards who think the Doctor being a woman is a radical idea invented in the last three years.

That said, I’m not a fan yet. Some Doctors I don’t like as much for aspects of their characters, particularly Five, but Thirteen just doesn’t feel Doctorly. (To be clear, neither did Twelve.) I grew to enjoy Matt Smith’s performance where I thought I wouldn’t, and I’ve found a lot to like in every Doctor, but for some reason both of them still feel like actors playing the role to me, where Unbound Doctors and Mark Kalita have captured whatever the core is.

6. I feel like I’m getting old. So much of the beauty of Doctor Who just feels transparent now. After Moffat the maximalist decades of worldbuilding can never convincingly pretend to add up to a coherent universe and they can’t escape into the freedom of canon-indeterminacy any more than they already have. Even Big Finish, which I used to adore, feels strangled by a mandate to realize and box-set every possible combination of whatever actors they can summon from the show, no matter how many tedious hours they have to fill with cardboard characters and back-of-the-napkin monsters.

There’s no excitement in the adventure for me, because I know the route and the destination. And I don’t know if that’s Doctor Who being formulaic or disenchantment from seeing the patterns too much, or some personal lack of spark and imagination. I feel like there must be some drive I don’t have, one that would re-energize my own perspective in the face of concrete understanding, that would see it as a good thing that I understand another layer of what I enjoyed so much without sacrificing that enjoyment. But if it’s there, I just don’t see it.

But hey. While there’s life, there’s...

#doctor who #the woman who fell to earth #s11e1

[chogiwrites]

300 Yuan To Love || Lay

Summary: The road to hell is paved with good intentions and, in this case, some rice cakes along the way. Or: Yixing makes a dumb bet but even when he wins, he loses.

Lenght: 5.4k

Genre: Humour/Fluff/mild Angst

Like with all shitty things in life, at least from a masculine standpoint, it begins with the desire to take a cute girl out on a date.

It’s hot and humid in Hangzhou, as is typical for the summer cycle in this part of China, and Zhang Yixing bikes up to Wang Xun’s cake stand with his balls tucked neatly in his wicker basket. This was his grandma’s doing, really. She knew Yixing needed a job and whilst she was wandering the neighborhood one afternoon, she ran into him.

Had it been anybody else, had it even been written in the Constitution of the People’s Republic of China, then Yixing would’ve immediately said no. But, it just so happens that Yixing is weak for his granny. So, when she returned from her walk, staggering with a fabric trolley full of leeks and other proteins, with a shiny look in her eyes, Zhang Yixing was honor-bound to accept.

Glutinous rice cakes are Zhang Yixing’s worst nightmare, and he starts work the next day

Just the smell is enough to give him a thick sense of nausea. Wang Xun knows this, and Yixing is about ninety-nine-point-nine percent sure that he’s banking off of that. So, what’s it about it all, that has Yixing bike towards there, on a road so quintessential that you could practically hear the 80’s pop music behind him?

Well, he needs a new haircut, that’s what. That, and he wants the opportunity to take his best friend, you, out someplace nice. It’s the latter mostly. Especially the latter.

You both entered Uni not too long ago but only one entered the prestigious option. Spoiler alert, it wasn’t Yixing. It doesn’t bother him much though, because he never intends to be a fancy businessman anyway. He applied to a local college to learn dance, and music theory, which he’s passionate about. On top of that, even though it sees him lose more money than it ever does see him gain it— Yixing enjoys posting his amateur attempts at rapping over on Weibo, which garners some positive feedback.

Meanwhile, there’s you. You’ve been friends with him since the first grade but you’re about as different from him as a banana to a pineapple. You set out to enter business, much like the rest of your family, and Yixing often catches you nowadays during your coffee not-dates in pressed blouses and pencil skirts. Your fierce makeup gives you an air of exclusivity, which makes Yixing’s breezy noncommittal to looking posh, nearly garish.

His idea of having a sense of style is often eclectic and vintage, in conflicting patterns and textures. He got into krumping, and this saw him, in turn, get into wearing blaze red tracksuits and little braids in his hair. It also saw him bleach his hair to the point of no return, which you made fun of him for relentlessly.

The consequence of having such an outlandish appearance—though at this point, he has his hair an ugly, faded red— came one day, full force, during one of your bi-weekly coffee not-dates.

You two were in the midst of a serious conversation when some yuppie mistook your frown as being caused by Yixing’s presence. So, he did what any overbearing yuppie does. He tried to forcibly remove Yixing from the situation with the same technique you use to swat away a pigeon that wants your Kentucky Fried Chicken.

It was embarrassing for all three of you and this is where it does bother Yixing, who’s become notorious for being blissfully unaware of any and everything. For one, he doesn’t see you as often as he wants to, and secondly, a part of him worries he’s slowly sinking beneath you.

Sure, this was a lifelong thing. You’d always come from the better and wealthier family whilst Yixing grew up with his grandparents in a relatively small, rickety house. But you don’t feel these things when you’re ten and frog hunting in the mud, you don’t feel these things when you hold your best friend’s dirty hand at the bus stop to ‘see what it’s like’ on your way to the arcade.

Admittedly, Yixing isn’t super certain as to why he feels the way he feels. He’ll figure this out by the end of the day but he doesn’t know that yet. His pretty face earns him a lot of kind-hearted Jiejies who’re happy to pay for his lunches out of pity. Usually, he’ll open up his phone and add a reminder in his notes to pay them back when he can, and this tends to be the end of his guilt. But, he doesn’t ponder on it too long either.

It’s not exactly in Yixing’s nature to delve too deeply into his own psyche, it’s that naive streak of his. He’s simple-minded and he knows that he is. It keeps him happy and he has that mindset from what he likes, all the way down to what he dislikes.

So, when he finally parks by the stall, over-grown bangs tied in a silly looking bun and testicles in tow, he resolves to approach this in the same way Zhang Yixing approaches all areas of his life:

He’ll just have to do his very best.

“Yixing!” Wang Xun says cheerfully, greeting Yixing with a tight hug after he locks his bike up to an iron fence. “Wow! So handsome!” He beams, pinching at those devastatingly high cheekbones as Yixing’s face quickly goes flush.

“Thank you, Gege.” He replies with a small, polite bow. Yixing’s humble and appreciative demeanor is broken as soon as he glances over at the thick, fragrant slabs of cake, just waiting to be touched, fondled and sold. His skin takes on a greenish hue.

Catching this, Xun thinks now would be a good time to have a little bit of fun with his new employee.

See, this job is often a dull one and last night, his wife, bless her memory, accidentally made double the usual quantity. Even on the busiest day, there’s always at least a bit of leftovers. This usually isn’t much of an issue because there’s a homeless shelter nearby. The only problem? They were quickly becoming tired of being constantly fed leftover rice cakes. Wang Xun hates waste, so he has a plan.

Diddling his fingers, he begins, “I heard from your granny that you want to earn some extra money. I know this doesn’t pay so well, but… How would you like to place a wager?”

Yixing turns to him with a look that is simultaneously hopeful and apprehensive. Wang Xun thinks that, oh yes, this will be fun. Very fun indeed. Unfortunately thouh, the road to hell is paved with good intentions and, in this case, some rice cakes along the way.

For you, whom summer often means being able to forget your studies and instead, focus on your friends and family, this one is already shaping up to be a massive disappointment. Some of your friends went back to their hometowns, whilst others went abroad. The most important contestant though, Zhang Yixing, your closest friend, your secret beloved, had gotten a job.

Your shoulders fell right down to your ankles when you got the news over the phone a night ago. But he sounded so excited that you couldn’t bare to complain. After all, you weren’t his girlfriend. Did Yixing even have a girlfriend? You don’t think you’ve ever heard him talk about any girls, even though he always has at least one woman around him. Maybe he was gay?

You sighed, lying on your back with your phone across your chest.

You only become concerned for Yixing and his mental state, when you find out what his job is, and the strange bet that succeeds it. You receive that text at ten am sharp.

«(Y/N)! Me and Xun-Ge (Do you remember him? He says hi! ^^) Made a bet for three hundred yuan to see who can sell the most rice cakes. The catch is that if we aren’t exact in our measurements, we must eat the surplus. I hope you’ll come and support me!!»

You reply instantly, wondering if all of this is some sick prank but that’s not in his character. Of course you remember Wang Xun, he runs that cake stand near the city square. You like his wife’s cakes but with that you also know…

«Yixing… You hate rice cakes???»

«I know, this means I’ll be even more motivated to win! Please come and support me!»

And this is how you end up on a plastic pull-out chair, watching your best friend torture himself for three hundred yuan, under the hot sun. “Are you ready, Yixing?” Wang Xun asks him and his grin is devilish. You can tell he completely expects Yixing to tank the whole competition.

“I was born ready, Gege! May the best man win!” Yixing grins and throws a little glance over his shoulder, hoping that you think he’s cool.

In that silly ‘Zhang Yixing’ way, he does look pretty cool, especially when he lifts the hem of his neon t-shirt to wipe the sweat from his browbone. The sad thing is that you would put money down the fact that Yixing will lose the three hundred yuan.

Truthfully, he can win this competition on sex appeal alone, if only he was aware of his own pull to begin with. Yixing isn’t though. He never was. He has the habit of presenting himself as a perfect image of self-control. You reckon the only correlation he’s made thus far is that the less clothes he wears, the more the female sex tends to smile around him. It’s a bit silly because Yixing, even now, will still walk around you in nothing but his boxers, as if he doesn’t look like he belongs in a Calvin Klein ad.

Needless to say, you, who has known him since a young age, rarely get to see him eschew from that respectability— sans his semi-nudist tendencies, that is.

Well, that’s until he begins losing the bet. Make no mistake though, Yixing tanks the bet before it can even begin.

“Ahhh, just 0.75? Why not make it a full KG?” Yixing whines at the customer, an older woman with a cold and mysterious look to her. “You don’t need to worry about your diet, Jiejie, you’re beautiful just the way you are. Eat the full kilo, your heart will thank you.”

Wang Xun chortles in the background as No-Name Jiejie rips him a new one. Somewhat offended yourself, you instinctively cross your arms across your soft middle and bite your lip. The next customer is another female, this one about high school aged. She orders a meager 0.25 KG and you try not to look at her with too much jealousy.

As she leaves, she turns to say: “Gege, you’re very handsome, but you shouldn’t make comments about a woman’s body like this. I think it’d be better if you found her and apologized for wounding her pride. Have a nice day~”

She waves before turning on her heels and Yixing looks at you in desperation, not understanding where his sales tactics are failing him. Your response is to cock a brow.

Even before his embarrassing comments, which you can only attribute as being brought on by a semester spent in South Korea, where he held a part time job as the person advertising Gangnam PS on the train, you were already slowly becoming annoyed with him. Why did you even bother to come out here in the first place?

It was unbearably hot and all you’re doing is watching the sweat stain on his back grow and grow while your thighs become welted from the plastic straps on the chair. Your leg skin is ruddy and bumped from shaving the night before and even though you like rice cakes, that and the smell of humid, mowed grass is threatens to make you sick.

Plus, it’s not as if you enjoy watching Yixing lose a dumb bet he should’ve already known he’d never win. By the time the sun is at it’s peak, around one-ish, you confront him behind the pagoda, where he gags in his fist.

“Yixing, I want to go home.” You say with your arms crossed, leaning against a ridged wall as you stare down at the dirt between you two. Yixing instantly looks up— churning stomach be damned. His eyes are wide and his face is a sweaty mess, but despite that, the disappointment is evident.

“You can’t go!” His voice comes out more frantically than it perhaps should. Your teeth dig into your bottom lip, trying not to seem too upset with him. Rather, you wish to simply look like you’re not feeling well. The snap to your tone betrays you though. It always does.

“This is ridiculous. It’s too hot outside and you’re making a goddamn fool out of yourself. What was the point of even having me here?” Yixing’s lips press into a thin line.

“We haven’t hung out in a while so—”

“So you think having me watch you make yourself sick is fun?” Normally, you would dislike the mean edge in your laugh, whenever you got the least bit annoyed with him. It might be the oppressive heat making your adrenaline run higher. Or, maybe, just maybe, Yixing’s lack of negative aspect gets on your nerves a lot more than you’d like to admit. Maybe, a deep, dark part of you wants to see Yixing get annoyed with you too, show you a face more offended than just one of mild hurt.

He doesn’t respond immediately. Instead, Yixing shoves his palms down his back pockets and rocks on his heels. Exhaling through his nose, Yixing opens his mouth to speak but closes up, pouting in a way which makes his lips look even pinker than they already are. It’s aggro, plain and simple.

“Aiyo! All this for an extra three hundred yuan you won’t win anyway?” You scoff, “If you need it so badly, ask me. I’ll lend it to you.”

Finally, his facade cracks and you’re not sure you like what you see. “Three hundred yuan may not mean much to you but it means a lot to others! Not everybody is wealthy like you!” His voice raises an octave, tone turning nasally and thick.

“You’re right. It means jack shit to me.” To prove your point, you reach into your daisy-shaped purse and pull out a few crumpled notes. “That’s why you should just relieve me of my burden and take the fucking yuan.”

Yixing, with his face as red as a chili pepper, gently pushes your hand back towards you. “You’re not treating me like a man.” He says.

Stomping your foot against the grass, you cry out: “Because you aren’t a man, Zhang Yixing!”

With that comes a steady, harsh silence. Yixing looks at you with an expression which you can’t decipher, as it’s not one you’ve ever seen on him. Once the guilt hits, and it hits fast, you let out a choked, “I’m going home. I’ll text you later.”

Just like that, you leave him there, before you lose control of your emotions in an entirely new way. After all, if Yixing never wanted to kiss you before, he certainly isn’t going to want to kiss you now, after what you just said to him.

Throwing your leg across the body of your bike, you push yourself until your knees hurt and Yixing is but a speck in the distance.

Things don’t get any better for Yixing after you leave, if anything, they become even worse, which is saying something. The idea of winning this bet begins to seem more and more fantastical, especially with the strange feeling holding onto his heart.

Whether it’s due to your hurtful words, or an impending heart attack, remains uncertain but one thing is for sure. Yixing has brain cells, and those brain cells are rapidly depleting.

“Ahh!” He screams, in Xiang, out at the neighboring lake and all the people paddle-boating. They stop and look at him like he’s an insane chipmunk. “It’s such a beautiful day!”

Yixing waves his fists around before cramming more baked shame down his gullet. Whilst singing an obscure folk song, he nearly falls over the stony ledge whilst doing a jaunty little dance.

Wang Xun, who has greatly overestimated his own mathematical prowess, as well as his abilities as a businessman, is the one who stops Yixing from meeting his soggy demise.

He places two sobering hands on Yixing’s shoulders. “We still have more cakes to sell.” When he speaks, passerbys can see his soul leave from his lips. Much like Yixing, Wang Xun has consumed so much goddamn cake that he fears he’ll wake up a rice cake. He reconsiders his line of work, but its much too late for that quitter mentality. He and Yixing are in it to the death.

Yixing, gaunt-cheeked, turns around with a rattle. “Gege… I want to give up.” He utters miserably. Xun considers calling the bet off himself but, the sun is setting, twilight is nearly upon them. He’s already lost so much money that unless he returns home victorious, there was a big chance he wouldn’t see the next day as a married man.

He laughs so hard the button holding his jeans together pops and hits Yixing right in the big toe.

“Yeah… Yeah, that’s not happening.”

Once you get home, the first thing you do is kick off your sweaty sandals before lying belly-first across your bed. Your eyes prickle as you shake your head to yourself. This is so stupid, you’re not really about to cry over Yixing again, are you?

Your fingers twist in your bed sheets as a few tears manage to squeeze their way out of your eyes. It seems like you are.

Flipping over so that your nose is in the air, you try to blink away the wetness. Throwing your arm across your face, your thoughts go to how stupid Yixing is. How stupid you are. Anybody with half a functional brain cell could see that you have a crush on him, one which spanned nearly the entirety of your friendship.

In elementary school, it was strange, because you never felt this way about anybody, not even the handsome actors you saw on TV. The only thing you had a full grasp on was that you liked this strange, chubby boy, who was also your close friend— a lot.

He had a sweet penchant for taking care of cats, none of which he could remember to name and whenever you were sad, he would lift his shirt and jiggled his belly.

His grandma also made delicious, albeit very spicy food, and they spoke in a dialect of Chinese which you couldn’t understand but found amusing to listen to. Afterwards, Yixing would let you rest your ear against his soft middle to hear the way his food digested, and all those gurgles and pops.

Your first experience with unrequited love must have been that. When you began wanting to nudge your head, so that your lips could press tender, butterfly kisses between his fleshy, brown rib cage. Instinctively, you knew not to.

High school was bearable, but only because for the majority of it, you were more popular than Yixing.

It was during the second to last year were his height shot and he became taller than most of the other boys. Suddenly, girls started to look at him with the same eyes as you. Suddenly, girls began to notice how handsome he was, how kind he was. It leaves you as you are now, supine on your mattress, unsure where to go from this point on.

With your pride majorly wounded, you stand up and waddle your way across the hall. Rarely are you ever desperate enough to ask your older sister, Mei, for advice. You knock on her door.

“What do you want?” She snaps, sliding off her headset. You take this as the okay to sit on her bed and divulge, and she eyes you with suspicion every step. “It’s just,” You sigh, smacking your lips as your legs cross beneath you. “Do you remember Yixing?”

Her face falls instantly. “Oh no. No. No. Not him again!” She grabs a small My Melody plush from her desk and chucks it towards your head. “Get out. I’m not listening to any of this Yixing shit. If I wanted a Korean drama, I’d go look on Tencent.”

You grabbed the toy and threw it back at her, whining, “I’m serious!!”

Mei kicks your knee with her manicured, cream toes. “Listen!” She cries in exasperation, throwing out her hands. “How many times will you bitch about this? If Zhang Yixing liked you back, he would’ve made a move by now. It’s as simple as that!” Conceding yourself to the understanding that, yes, Yixing doesn’t see you the way you see him, you look down at the small floral decals over her nailbed and begin to pick with a puffed cheek. “I understand that, Jiejie… But I may have said something mean to him.”

Seeing the sad look on your face makes Mei relent. “Then apologize to him, dummy.” She sighs as you lay across your side, clutching her foot to you as you try to hold back tears. She pushes herself closer, replacing her foot with a hand in yours, using the spare to push some wet strands from your face.

“Look,” She rolls her eyes, though she’s taken on a gentler tone. “Zhang Yixing sees you as a friend. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have stuck by your side for all of these years. If you said something mean to him, just tell him you weren’t feeling well and that you’re sorry. He seems like a nice guy, I’m sure he’ll forgive you easily. But before that, I think you need to forgive him for not being able to return your feelings, (Y/N). You’re always getting into these petty arguments, it seems to me like you’ve become bitter over your unrequited feelings. You need to make peace with the fact that you’re his friend and nothing but, or else the day will come where Zhang Yixing will no longer feel like accepting your apologies.” You nod, but why does it hurt so much to let go of this love, even if it’s hopeless?

Eventually, after you calm yourself down and rinse off your face, you begin to feel more and more uncomfortable with the way you’ve treated him. It grows and it grows until you can’t take it anymore. You set off to try and find him and, hopefully, make things right again.

“I lost, didn’t I?” Yixing breathes, sitting on the stone steps as Wang Xun begins to pack up for the day. With an apologetic smile, the older man replies, “Yes, but barely.”

“Ahhh,” He sighs, looking up at the stars. Today has been a real nightmare. It seems like nothing he set out has accomplish. He’s offended people for no reason, rocks live in his stomach and worst of all, you’ve become upset with him. Yixing swallows thickly.

“(Y/N)’s become rather feisty since I’ve last seen her.” Xun points out. “She has.” There’s a silence before Yixing adds, “Gege, I don’t know if there’s room for me in her life anymore. The more I think of it, the more I feel I don’t belong by her side. We used to laugh and smile together but nowadays, whenever I call her out, she’s tense. We never used to fight this much, I think she thinks I’m beneath her, and is only trying to spare my emotions.”

Wang Xun takes a seat next to him, stretching out his legs before glancing up at the sky as well. “All this because of what she said?” Yixing doesn’t respond, which is confirmation enough.

“Women— No, not just women, people will often say things they don’t mean when they feel as though they’ve been hurt.” He says, “I think the same is true for her. She’ll apologize soon enough, so don’t take her words to heart.” Pause. “And if she doesn’t? There are so many more women out there for you to pine after. Eventually, you’ll find the one who doesn’t break your heart.”

Neither of them speak after this, not until something, or rather somebody, catches Yixing’s eye. It’s the Jiejie from earlier. Excusing himself, Yixing jogs up to her.

She stops the moment she sees him and scowls. “What do you want?” She snaps, her dog running off into the bushes. Her expression is so fierce, it reminds him a bit of yours.

Though he freezes up, he pushes past it and she jumps back when he bows so deeply, there’s a crack to his spine.

“I wanted to say that I’m really sorry if I offended you earlier today,” Yixing blushes, “You see, I had a bet with that man over there.” He points over to Wang Xun, who’s in the process of cleaning his ear out with his pinkie. “And I’m afraid in my attempt to earn a bit of extra pocket money, I’ve said and done some things I normally wouldn’t say or do. I hope you can forgive me.”

The woman stood there stunned and Yixing is afraid that might not be enough. She thinks of his apology for a second before shaking it off. “I see,” She nods pensively. “I take it, this was all for your girlfriend’s sake?” Yixing stands up straight, blinking a few times for clarity.

“What girlfriend?”

“The girl that sat behind you, she wasn’t your girlfriend?” Yixing shakes his head. “Christ…” She mumbles, instantly grateful that she’s already lived through the ‘stupid love’ phase. She sighs.

“I forgive you. We all have lapses in our judgment and as long as you understand that, and think before you speak next time, I don’t see a reason to hold it against you.”

“Thank you, Jiejie!” Yixing says with a big, happy grin, bowing deeply once more. His heart clears itself a tiny bit.

Unfortunately for his cardiovascular health, at this moment, you bike up next to him and Yixing’s heart is back to feeling like it’s about to burst. Shit.

“Sorry, am I interrupting something?” You ask, much to the woman’s amusement. “No. Me and your ‘friend’ over here were just touching base. I need to go home anyway.” She says, tugging the leash so that her puppy comes running back at her ankles.

As she turns around, she makes sure to tack on a “Good luck!” It’s for both of your sakes.

You park your bike up by the tree trunk, feeling the awkwardness finally hit. It’s already nightfall and the air has cooled off significantly, but you’re so ashamed that your cheeks are blazing and hot.

“Did you apologize to her for earlier?” You ask despite its redundancy. Yixing nods and you can see it from the illumination caused by the lampposts. “I did.”

“That’s good!” You hum, trying to keep your voice steady as you fish a green, rectangular bottle out of your purse. “I got you a probiotic drink to help you with… y’know. Here. Catch.”

It lands in his hands and Yixing beams brighter than the stars. “Why are you smiling at me like that?” You furrow your eyebrows. “Because you came back.”

Saying it outloud only has Yixing smile wider and it eats up at his eyes in the most charming of ways. You feel your heart throb.

Clearing your throat, you stutter out. “Right! About that…” You will yourself not to mask your true emotions with the air of nonchalance but you meet his eyes and, fuck, you might as well do that or just start crying.

“I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I didn’t mean any of it. It was wrong and I regret ever treating you this way.” You expect Yixing to hold a more serious stance, but he laughs, opening his arms.

“Aw, it’s alright. Come here and give me a hug.”

Slowly, you take steps towards him before burrowing into his chest, hands fisting against his shirt as tears begin to prickle in your eyes. Yixing smells too sweet and sweaty but past that, you can feel the warmth of his skin. His body is solid yet comforting and you want to be in his arms all day and all night.

“Why are you crying?” Yixing asks, feeling the moisture through his shirt. and you laugh dryly. He sways you side to side before pulling at your face. “If you cry, I might start crying too.”

Yixing’s fingers release from your skin and instead, move to hold you. “So, no crying, alright?” The touch makes you breathless.

“Yixing, I…” The words slip past your lips before you can stop them. He tilts his head, smiling softly in anticipation. Should you confess to him? You already know you have to let this go. Will it make your shoulders lighter if he knows how you feel? You shake your head at yourself.

No. Yixing is too delicate of a person to treat you the same knowing you’ve fallen for him. Seeing your knees buckle, Yixing leads you to the bench. Swallowing your heart, you resolve for the next best truth.

“Yixing, I’ve missed you a lot.” “Oh! I’ve missed you too.” Yixing responds with an annoying ease, uncapping the pribiotic before taking a sip. He grimaces at the bitter taste, making you giggle at his cute reaction. As you laugh, Yixing’s heart does a somersault and suddenly, there’s not enough air in the world. It’s an emotion that only you cause in him. Not even the prettiest girls give him this type of feeling and it puts him on edge, but in the most tender way.

“Why did you accept this bet anyway?” You ask, gazing at the lake, which is now devoid of people. Steady and dark, with the reflection of the moon.

Yixing considers it. “I think I did it to feel better about myself.” He leans back and caps the bottle, fingers almost touching yours as he holds the bottle between his knees.

He stares up at the silver moon.

You turn to look at him in surprise, gazing at his profile. Yixing catches you in his peripheral and nods with a sheepish smile. “Yeah.”

He swallows and then adds, “My hair needs fixing and…” He considers closely the next thing he’s about to say, but throughout the past several hours, this is the only conclusion he can draw. The more he says the words in his head, the righter they feel. “And I wanted to take you out on a date.”

Your eyes widen and Yixing grabs your hand, too afraid that you’ll run from him again. “But I lost the bet, so there’s that.” He mumbles.

With the air squeezed from your lungs, you whisper, “We don’t need money to—”

“I know we don’t, but I wanted it anyway. It was selfish and vain of me, I know. But, I thought… Maybe if I had more money, you’d be more inclined to see me as a man… As somebody you can actually date.”

Taking the leap of faith, you lace your fingers through his. Yixing squeezes tight and you close your eyes, reveling in the warmth of his hand. Years. It’s been years since he’s done this.

You’ve waited so long, since that day at the bus stop, to feel his hand on yours again and for it not be just to see what it feels like. Finally, you feel like you can breathe. It fits as perfectly against yours as it did back then.

“I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I do think of you as a man. I’m sorry that I’m bitter and dramatic. I’ve taken these emotions out on you without realizing it, all because I’m bothered that you don’t see me the way I’ve seen you throughout all these years. I hope you can forgive me, I’ve been a bad friend.”

“When you speak with such a voice,” Yixing laughs, “It’s impossible for me not to. I’m scared of what you could do to me.”

There’s a silence and you bring his knuckles up to your lips. Yixing’s eyes flutter shut with a lazy grin.

There’s never been such a perfect moment in his life.

“I like you just the way you are.” You whisper, the feeling is just about the same for you too. “Thank you.”

“And I’ll wait patiently for you to take me on the date you feel we deserve.” “Thank you.”

He repeats as you two lean against each other and enjoy the serenity of an empty park. If this is what all these years have been working towards, then it must all be worth it in the end. It may not be a crescendo of epic proportions, a searing, tear-filled kiss in the rain, a loud, emotional ‘I love you’ shouted in the middle of a crowded airport, but this is perfect.

Zhang Yixing can turn the mundane into something extraordinary, this is what’s most beautiful about him to you. For a moment, it’s all quiet and that’s just fine.

Until he gets sick all over a bundle of Lotus roots, that is.

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