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roukabi · 1 year

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if you're still into hadestown id love to hear more details of act II in your broadway x nytw au :)

OHHH ANON DEAREST....... YOU’VE ACTIVATED MY INFODUMP CARD!

ok ok first of all i am so sorry for my incessant videnoirposting, rest assured i am still very very into hadestown and I Will become normal again! and i have a backlog of ht-related art to finish lol.

Second.... BOY OH BOY DO I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY NYTW x BWAY AU!

(for the uninitiated: for the longest time i've had this nytw x broadway au, called the “Old Song” au, in which nytw orpheus becomes a very sad ghost and haunts the present (broadway) orpheus. Meanwhile, nytw Eurydice and bway Eurydice find each other in Hadestown and try to help each other 'survive'. I’d recommend reading the first part, otherwise the rest of this post won’t make much sense. I'll drop the link in a rb.)

(And I'm putting this under a readmore, because this is gonna get long.)

Now there are a few things I forgot to mention in that post, one of them being what this whole AU is actually about. Greek tragedy says that, despite what we (the audience) desire and what we understand, the characters will still fail. And that's alright. Life goes on, sometimes for the better. It's awful, but it's not the end.

In this AU, we're past having the characters try and fail. And y’know, it wasn't the end for them, either! Their failures mattered then, and they will now! Orpheus and Eurydice's futures will still go on whether they want them to or not!

But... because they are worlds apart, with (seemingly) no other way of reuniting and having the happy ending they desired... does that leave any hope for either of them?

This leads me to another theme of Hadestown, and the one I'm focusing on in this AU: despite everything, there will always be hope. It might take a while to see it, but it's always gonna be there. And how this AU is gonna work out is that we'll see this hope manifest in some characters (bway Orpheus, nytw Eurydice), how the lack of hope manifests in others (nytw Orpheus, bway Eurydice), and how all of that is subject to change as the characters grow. Somehow, though, they'll all have to cling onto that hope - that struggling dream of a better future - if they want to finally build a better life.

enough cringe talk about themes let's get some found family in this house

Soo.... Act II! I'm gonna start a bit ahead, where the first post left off: the Orphei are traversing the underground, and nytw Eurydice is giving bway Eurydice refuge.

Anyway, where we last left off, the Orphei have made it to the underworld! bway Orpheus kind of broke the Wall, which nytw Orph (nicknamed Ghost in this AU to make things easier, and to let nytw Orph distance himself from his past life) takes as good sign. If he can get past the wall like that by singin' a little tune, then the rest of the journey will be a cinch!

...It was not, in fact, a cinch.

Everything in Hadestown is Really loud, Really bright, and Really unfriendly to trespassers. Bway Orpheus gets overwhelmed very quickly and nytw Orph gets frustrated - he knows this place already, and also knows that strolling in during daytime hours is a one-way ticket to death (see Hermes's advice in Wait for Me).

They end up hiding in some abandoned worker cabin for the rest of the day, a rather unproductive start to their journey.

It's not helping matters that the Orphei had quite the argument back during Chant - nytw Orpheus got after bway Orpheus for not helping Eurydice, and it got to the point where he deliberately tried to break bway Orpheus's optimism so that he'd "wake up" and "finally try to be useful"... yes he was projecting, no it was not fun, yes it is still eating at him, and Yes, their relationship is... pretty strained right now. As if bway Orpheus's self-esteem wasn't already garbage.

This isn't the case for the Eurydices though! They're chilling in the house nytw Eurydice borrowed from Persephone + are escaping work quotas. The bad news is that they're content with sharing a name, which is kind of frustrating to try and write. Oh well!

Anyway, bway Eurydice finds it nice to have someone who actually understands her. Not that Orpheus wasn't understanding, he really, really, was, but he just didn't see the world the way she did. And nytw Eurydice can talk to someone who hasn't lost their head to the mines + machines! So yeah they hit it off real fast.

Eventually, though, bway Eurydice asks how the other managed to get stuck in Hadestown for so long. Nytw Eurydice stiffens. Frowns a bit. She stares at the floor for a beat or two before telling her that she doesn't know. Forgot.

She does know. She knows that it could probably happen to bway Eurydice, too, given all their similarities. But she's not going to be the one to break this new girl's spirit.

It's a vow that nytw Eurydice makes around the same time nytw Orpheus does, too. bway Orpheus isn't sleeping, and whether it's the noise outside the cabin walls, or the sneering voices in his head, nytw Orph doesn't really want to know.

That poor kid. He'd been nothing but kind to nytw Orpheus, trying to make his (after)life more bearable, a little more colorful - and nytw Orpheus had the gall to tear him down. He wouldn't have dared to hurt him if he were his old self.

It's just that bway Orpheus doesn't know how the world really is. Hadestown was cruel, and its brainwashed people wouldn't stop at hunting him down. Hades wouldn't let Eurydice go - not without an impossible price to pay. Nytw Orpheus didn't want to crush his successor's hopes by telling him all that.

And yet, he kind of... did.

Damn it.

He’s got to be better toward that boy. For both their sakes.

The nytw duo realizes that, despite what happened to them before, they can’t let it interfere with the future of the bway duo. There’s still a chance for things to turn out, and after all, they aren’t the ones with something to lose.

However, not everyone in this story has this mindset. There’s still one more thing I really forgot to mention in the last post...

Because of her appearance in both NYTW and Broadway Hadestown, Jessie Shelton’s fate, Clotho, is here to add even more conflict! What about her sisters? uhhhhhhhh don’t worry about it lol they’re fine. She’s with the bway Lachesis and Atropos, but this is likely to change.

Clotho’s not pleased with the trajectory of this story. It was her job to keep it from changing, and now her #1 enemies are coming around to throw wrenches in her plans? Well. If she’s going to clean up the messes they’re making, she might as well have fun with it.

Clotho ends up terrorizing all four heroes, but really the bway duo, and mostly bway Orpheus because in the end, it's his actions that will determine the outcome of the story. The nytw duo is Very Much Not Happy with Clotho’s existence and they get very protective of their counterparts whenever she shows up.

bway Orph tries really hard to guard nytw Orph from her, knowing their history and all. It doesn’t really work, but he tries!

(Clotho does, at one point, threaten to kill bway Orph if the Orphei continue their journey. Remember this.)

The Eurydices learn more about each other the more questions bway Eurydice asks - Do you think your Orpheus is looking for you? Is he down here? Will everyone forget about me, too? Different words, all asking the same thing: Is there a chance for me to get out of here?

bway Eurydice tries not to show it, but she’s scared. She has no idea what she’s gotten herself into, and she’s desperate for a ray of hope.

Nytw Eurydice tries her best to reassure her, but sometimes she just can’t answer.

bway Eurydice does ask if the other workers could break free of Hadestown’s brainwashing. Nytw Eurydice thinks it’s possible.

Meanwhile, the Orphei have taken to sleeping during the day and moving at night - to keep from getting caught. bway Orpheus isn’t handling this well, nor is he handling the constant overstimulation, the paranoia of being an ‘outlaw’, all the pain and horrors inflicted on Hadestown’s people, Clotho being Clotho, etc., and one night he just... breaks down. He never thought the world could be this cruel.

Luckily for him, though, a certain someone who understands exactly what he’s going through sits down with him. Lets him vent. Gives him a hug.

Nytw Orpheus finally apologizes to the boy for his distance, and convinces him that not everything is awful; they have each other, and the very reason Nytw Orpheus is down with him is that he cares about bway Orph and wants to protect him.

It’s here that bway Orpheus starts to smile again.

From that night on, things are a little better. Sure, all the terrible things mentioned 4 bullet points ago still exist, but now the Orphei are joking between one another, collaborating on songs, and climbing the petrified trees scattering Hadestown’s landscape.

And for the Eurydices, life-after-death is getting... almost bearable?! Nytw Eurydice made the other a notebook of all her surface memories, just in case, and it’s not like either of them stopped singing. They’ll go out and check if one of their Orphei is out there. Sometimes they’ll just talk for hours about whatever the Memory of the Day is.

For the first time in decades, there's a sound so sweet and clear against the echoes of steel on stone: laughter is heard in the realm of Hades.

A month or two pass, and neither party has found the other. It’s around this time when the bway duo wonders about their companion’s past.

It’s a topic that sickens the nytw duo, but they figure it’s time to talk about what happened. Time to show where all these mental - and in some cases, physical - scars came from.

After nytw Orpheus turned, Eurydice was almost immediately offered sanctuary by Persephone, who took pity on her. Eurydice took it, as long as she didn’t have to see Hades ever again.

She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t upset with Orpheus. She was actually pretty bitter about him for months, before she came to terms with how powerless they both were in that situation.

However, time wore on, and the mini-revolution Eurydice + Orpheus created fell further into obscurity. Less workers remembered what happened that fateful night. And then, to Eurydice’s dread, not even the gods knew who she was anymore. Afraid of losing herself, Eurydice hid by herself most of the time, alone with her memories in the old goddess’s house. At least without Hades knowing her, she couldn’t be tracked.

For Orpheus... well, he definitely didn’t receive a hero’s welcome upon returning to the surface. Wholly blamed for the loss of his wife, Orpheus, too, hid himself from the public. His relationship with Hermes soured as he pressured the poet to move on. It wasn’t just a shift in the people, either - in the rare times when Orpheus played music, his songs were so sorrowful that nature herself turned gray, and wept. Believing the change in Orpheus to be a curse, the townspeople banished him. Not that Orpheus had any time to grieve - he had brought upon himself the fury of the Maenads, whose courtship he refused. They slaughtered him by the river and threw his bones into the current. (Hermes found them, but never told Eurydice.) Orpheus woke up as a ghost, stuck on the surface with his guitar. No longer could he be seen, heard, or touched by mortals. Not that they’d want to find him, anyway, Orpheus thinks.

All four members of this Songbird Quartet are in tears by the time the tales are told.

It’s also worth mentioning that both nytw Orpheus and Eurydice conveniently left out the part where Orpheus turns.

It’s also also worth mentioning that nytw Orpheus takes off his red jacket for the first time since death, letting bway Orph see the extent of the Maenad’s brutality.

The strangest thing happened to the nytw duo, though: things started getting much better for them once the bway duo came into their lives. Orpheus is finding his hope again and Eurydice has found meaning in her afterlife. Through the tragedy, something good did happen.

(... uh, little side note: I really hope y’all are catching on that the relationships between Orphei and Eurydices... are platonic in a brother/sister sense. I mean, I can’t stop you from shipping them, i guess, but romance isn’t what I’m aiming for... that’s all.)

A n y w a y , what ho! After months of searching, bway Orpheus gets the biggest smile on his face upon seeing his beloved Eurydice creeping through metal stacks surrounding Hades’s mansion (it’s work hours). The Orphei agree to split up for a bit: bway Orpheus reunites with Eurydice, while nytw Orph makes a quick last look for his own lover.

He travels a little far, and then farther, getting increasingly desperate. Where is she? Was he never meant to find her? Is she on the other side of Hadestown? Where is she now?

Panic and heartache spark in his chest and he starts to call her name into the expanse.

“...Orpheus?”

The voice is from behind. Orpheus won’t dare turn around. Not again.

She knows this. She knows his posture, too, and the shape of his hands - which are shaking. She comes up to his side and takes one before facing him. Tears are already spilling over his cheeks.

“It’s you.”

Tears threaten to spill on Eurydice’s cheeks, too.

“It’s me.”

yayyyy they’re together again! it’s really sappy and they keep apologizing to each other for everything. It’s a little sad when Eurydice puts a hand on Orpheus’s scarred face but that’s neither here nor there.

But woe! the happy reunion is cut short when a loud, booming voice shakes the songbirds’ cores:

“Young man!”

Eeeheeeheheeehee

the nytw duo, realizing that their sibling is now in Huge Danger, rush to Hades’s mansion. There stand a stricken bway Orpheus, a dreading bway Eurydice, Persephone, Hades, Hermes, workers... and the Fates.

There’s a moment of “woah everyone’s here” as the Songbird Quartet recognizes one another.

Hades and Persephone don’t recognize nytw Orph, which is great for some reasons and terrible for others.

Hades tells bway Orph that Eurydice can’t go back - she signed the deal, and sold her soul. Orpheus, horrified, looks at her, and Hades... and nytw Orph, who was too afraid to tell him.

Nytw Eurydice, on the other hand, stares down Clotho with a ‘what the fuck do you want’ look. Clotho just smiles.

Hey, so, remember when I told you that Clotho threatened to kill bway Orpheus if they kept looking for Eurydice? Well.........

Hades calls upon the workers to drive bway Orpheus out. Unfortunately, though, Clotho has also given them the order to kill. Her word isn’t questioned: If Fate wishes it, then it shall be so, after all.

Clotho + her sisters nab bway Eurydice. Two workers restrain nytw Orpheus, who, while not knowing what exactly will happen to bway Orph, can deduct from Clotho’s threat that it won’t be good, and begs Hades to spare the boy. Nytw Eurydice, still wearing worker clothes and remaining undetected, sneaks out of the fuss and creeps behind the mansion (if we are thinking of the stage setup, where everyone is kind of in a circle, the nytw duo are on the opposite side from where the Fates + bway Eurydice are).

Workers circle bway Orpheus, and he gives nytw Orpheus one last terrified look before the first strike lands.

Now, we all know nytw Orpheus as a guy who’d have no problem throwing hands during Papers. Except this Orpheus has been ruined by his past, and freezes up when he sees the mob attack bway Orpheus. There are screams in his ears that aren’t there, the smell of metal, blood and wine, and a thousand terrible scenes in his head. It’s too much for him to watch.

...But the very reason nytw Orpheus is down here is because he cares about his newfound brother and wants to protect him. It was the one thing he promised to do.

So god damn, what was he doing?

Something snaps in him and he tries once again to wrestle his arms away from the workers holding him back. They don’t budge - nytw Orpheus’s strength is his words, not his muscles.

But then a low thud sounds against nytw Orpheus’s ears, and the hold goes loose.

“Go!” cries nytw Eurydice, wielding a shovel and slamming its head against the other worker’s. “I’ll get Eurydice!”

nytw Orpheus gives a quick nod of thanks to his lover before rushing up to bway Orpheus, grabbing a pickaxe on the way.

Bway Orpheus has tried to flee the pack, but they keep catching him and throwing him down. He’s exhausted, he’s injured, and they aren’t letting up. One of the workers - the largest one in the mob - raises a pick. Orpheus can’t get himself off the ground.

Then there’s a flash of red, a scream, a metallic smell.

bway Orpheus dares to open his eyes and sees that the mob has stopped, paralyzed with shock. The worker who held the pick now clutched his arm instead, pressing against a long, gruesome tear in the skin.

And standing in front of him, a pickaxe in his hands and a wild, cold glare that’s stark against his bloodied face - is Orpheus’s brother.

A couple steps behind the mob are the Eurydices, and one of them still has her shovel. Nytw Orpheus shouts at the workers, telling them to back off (in a much ruder way). The workers, seeing the outcome of fighting these three, retreat.

Nytw Orpheus, chest heaving, drops the pickaxe and carefully steps over bway Orpheus so that he is behind the latter. He gently scoops the boy into his arms. He’s blacked out, but he’s still got a pulse, thank the gods.

Now, while nytw Eurydice did do what she said she would (free Eurydice), that doesn’t mean she got rid of the fates. And of course, Clotho appears.

Nytw Eurydice somehow keeps enough composure to not beat the shit out of her with a rusty shovel. She gives Clotho enough time for her to say that while, yes, the initial murder plan was foiled by our heroic rulebreakers, the damage has already been done. bway Orpheus has been told that his lover sold herself to Hades, and on top of that, the people who could’ve been his friends on the surface nearly killed him in Hadestown. It’s not like this was a sudden effect - Orpheus’s worldview started crumbling the minute he entered Hadestown. This was just the last step. Now with that sweet, sweet doubt in his head, things should go back to normal.

bway Eurydice is quite shaken by this - it’s her story, too. So nytw Eurydice swings her shovel a bit to get her to fuck off. Clotho does. (I like to think that the Fates can appear + disappear in a plume of dark smoke. Just a lil thing that’d look cool in animation.)

The three of them kinda. stare at each other for a bit.

They take bway Orph to nytw Eurydice’s house to patch him up and rest. Nytw Orpheus washes the blood from his face, and there’s a distant look in his eyes as he recovers from what he did. bway Eurydice, who’s a smidge intimidated by him, says she thought he was pretty cool back there. It gets nytw Orpheus to laugh just the slightest bit, and thus, a friendship is born.

Nytw Eurydice and Orpheus take some time to catch each other up on what happened to them while bway Eurydice looks after her Orpheus.

He wakes up after some hours, a little worried, but with Eurydice there he settles down. She jogs his memory of what happened.

He starts venting to her, apologizing profusely for putting everyone in this mess and placing all their hopes on a song he couldn’t finish. Nothing Eurydice says can comfort him.

Unfortunately, Clotho was right: bway Orpheus is shattered. He goes on about how he is at fault, not just for Eurydice’s imprisonment in Hadestown, but for forcing nytw Orpheus to re-live his trauma to save him, and putting nytw Eurydice back on Hades’s hitlist. He’s hopeless, he says. This whole journey is hopeless. And because he’s the one to blame, he’s better off leaving.

He tries to leave Hadestown, despite the other three trying to get him to stop, but there’s another force keeping him from going too far: the workers. They’ve been listening to his plight, and they feel their old humanity come back to them at his sorrowful song (If It’s True).

Orpheus looks at his family, then looks back at the workers. Perhaps he did do something good for these people. Perhaps there’s still a chance for them.

Hermes comes up to the quartet, bearing news (it’s kind of his thing): Hades has also heard what the workers are starting to whisper about - a possible revolt against Hadestown’s cold-hearted structure - and demands for the four of them to come to his mansion. It’s judgment time.

Nytw Orpheus, who is bitter toward Hermes, demands to know why he didn’t help bway Orpheus since he was a god. Hermes, unfazed, asks why he couldn’t prevent the mob from attacking bway Orpheus, if he’d already lived Orpheus’s life. This quiets nytw Orpheus’s anger.

At the mansion, Hades tries to intimidate bway Orpheus before he actually passes judgment, though a very aggressive nytw Orpheus protects the other. Not today, Hades!

Persephone gives the Eurydices a bit of advice - maybe a mix of the London and NYTW Seph verses for Chant II - as she, too, heard the poet’s song.

The Fates are also there, watching. Plotting, probably.

Finally, Hades gives bway Orpheus his task: Sing a pretty song, and perhaps Hades will make use of him and spare his family. If he fails, it’s to the Great Beyond for all of them.

bway Orph is shaking like an autumn leaf. He’s not done with his song. It never worked the way he wanted it to. He’d tried to get nytw Orpheus to help him with it, but he’d refused, saying that if the song were really special, it would’ve come straight from bway Orpheus’s heart.

From the heart. Okay. That’s what Orpheus will do.

And to make a long story short, it works. beautifully. Orpheus sings his song of love and it swells as everyone else joins in. It’s like the heart of Hadestown is glowing.

At the end, Hades remembers his love for Persephone. He remembers his humanity. The old gods dance as if they were young lovers again.

And Orpheus just about blacks out again from cathartic relief. (Side note: I like to think that nytw Orph says something along the lines of “Easy there, rockstar!” I know the term won’t come around until the 60s but I think it’s really cute :))

Well, things seem to be going alright now! Hades isn’t as Bent on Harming the Four, Persephone’s smiling again, the workers are getting hopeful, and our four songbirds are together now.

... Except, a look of unease haunts the nytw duo’s faces. They know what comes next after this. So does Clotho. The song wasn’t the real test, as we all know.

bway Orph asks if they can go, Hades says no, blah blah blah we've been here before.

Hermes tells the four (well, mainly the bway duo) of the task ahead. They are, of course, dumbfounded and frightened by what it entails. They look back at their older siblings, wordlessly asking, “did you know?”

Nytw Orpheus and Eurydice look away.

The bway duo demands them to tell the full truth of how they were separated. So they do. They tell their doomed successors that nytw Orpheus failed to bring them both out, and that the chances of it happening again are high. It’s completely up to the new duo, and the nytw duo didn’t want to talk of it out of fear of crushing their hopes.

The bway duo is... not pleased. They’re not just crushed, they’re betrayed. How could the nytw duo lie to them for so long, lead them down this path just to pull the rug out from under them?

Nytw Orpheus reaches out to bway Orpheus, but the latter backs away, and leaves them. Bway Eurydice just shakes her head. She leaves them, too.

That night, when the four are preparing for the journey out, bway Eurydice finds her lover cupping his carnation in his palms. They talk quietly about the trek ahead, and Eurydice tells Orpheus that, even though their predecessors failed, that doesn’t mean they will, too. For what it’s worth, said predecessors didn’t have dead companions to travel with. And if the nytw duo were able to change (for the better) because of the bway duo’s actions, then maybe their ending could, too. “If they could do it, so can we.”

Orpheus smiles, but his doubts still gnaw at him. What if their actions changed the outcome for the worse? He just wanted everyone to be safe and happy, but what if this night’s events shouldn’t have happened the way they did? Especially with Clotho’s plan unraveling faster than ever, did they really make all the right decisions? Could he put faith in himself, or was everything that the townspeople said up top, about the harshness of the world and all, really true?

Speaking of Clotho, she appears once more to nytw Eurydice. Eurydice snaps at her for putting everyone on the road to ruin, but Clotho merely states that she’s not the only one trying to get what she wants. Like it or not, everyone had a part to play. “This story of ours was your doing, too,” she says. “Now you finish it. I’m just helping it move along.”

As Clotho departs, Eurydice finds that statement... oddly comforting. If bway Orpheus just holds onto the hope he’d always had with him, then maybe... just maybe...

It’s a long night, and it’s a little odd with two somewhat estranged couples sharing a house. Eventually, they all decide to try and make amends in the tiny living room. Apologizing, conversing softly about their fears and hopes, curling up together on the surprisingly large worn couch. bway Orpheus lets his brother hug him.

“I’m scared.”

“I know,” nytw Orpheus whispers. “And I have so much faith in you nonetheless.”

They sleep together on the couch that night. Lovers, brothers, and sisters say “I love you”. Hell, friends do, too, why not. There’s an air of peace in the stony caverns of Hadestown, and it’s enough to bring the four to a restful sleep.

They’ll need it for the journey ahead.

And, then, that morning, they set out, and...

OHHH, GEE! Look at how long this got! Gee whizz, look at the time, too! I think it’s time to stop. We’ll leave the thrilling conclusion for another time!

Thanks a billion for the ask, anon, and thanks a lot to you, reader, if you actually got this far! I don’t write much, but when I do, I get really into it...

There’s some stuff in Act I of this AU I still haven’t talked about - mostly silly fluff between the brothers, fluff between the sisters, some angst between the brothers, orphydice fluff, and nytw Orph’s strained relationship with the new Hermes, but again, that’s for another time.

#OOOOAGHGH maybe notn didn't give me carpal tunnel but writing this sure did!#this was so much fun tho. i got so excited when i read the ask bc that's a Thing I'm Really Passionate About!#I've been refining it for years! no i don't like letting old ideas go lol #hadestown #hadestown au #hadestown broadway #hadestown nytw #orpheus #eurydice #orpheus hadestown #eurydice hadestown #nytw x broadway crossover #old song au #rook roars!#long post #rook's mailbox #also sorry if i misinterpreted all the characters. i promise bway orph is still sweet n loveable it's just that (class) war is hell #caps tw

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writers-ex · 1 year

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hi you're back!! idk what happened, i don't wanna know as well but i'm sending you a huuug 💗 and hopefully you saw my ask about how to deal with nosy anons and found it helpful for you 💗

in celebration of me getting closer to finishing my backlogs (and claiming that I get all of it done today whew): a request! the one with the song stuff hihihi although i'll let you choose between two because i have lss from a lot of songs these days 🤧

A. Fluff!

song: I Feel Good by BINI

lyrics: *those in bold aren't sung in English*

"I feel good everytime that I'm with you, my eyes won't stray from you oh, oh, don't ever wanna part, even if I'll have to wait for you forever. Oh wait! turns out I can't wait anymore, I'm so eager for your love, and all emotions start to get real oh boy I love how you make me feel. It feels unbelievable, Cupid shot me, whenever you're there everything feels lighter yeah yeah"

idk but this song (and mv phew - it's a feast for my eyes lmao) is so colorful and fun it makes me feel like i'm also in love 😅

B. Angst :(

songs: Maharani (Great Queen)by Alamat and Hanggang Sa Huli (Until the End) by SB19

lyrics:

Maharani - "he doesn't understand what he's wasting, while I'm over here just waiting, like your numerous other suitors by the sides, I promise I'm not going crazy, you're my only Great Queen - will you give me a chance, if ever I might attain your love? Queen, let me be your King, I swear to god I'll never get tired of you, Great Queen"

Hanggang Sa Huli - "if our paths cross, then we're meant to be. Had I said everything then, would things be different now? With every breath, I pray that I could be with you. And if this is our last moment together, I want you to know that I love you, I love you, I love you"

okii I'm leaving it in your hands, hope you feel the vibe of the songs and get those creative juices flowing ang and and have fun with whichever prompt you wanna do!! don't forget to eat well todayyy 💗

- 😚

ok the girls in the MV are so cute and this at home arts and crafts vibe is so cute uwu so i thought of doing domestic things with lia bc yes like its a rainy day and you're both stuck at home so what better thing to do than use the paint set you bought a while ago and paint your jeans together to match each other while lia attempts to bake some cupcakes to watch a movie together however you panic and almost spill paint on the couch when you hear her cry out, running to the kitchen yuo see her sucking her finger that she managed to burn taking out the cupcake pan from the oven without gloves T_T so you kiss and wrap her boo-boo and start scolding her when she cheers and points out the window to show that the rain has stopped and a rainbow graces your window making you look at your shy girlfriend smiling before pulling each other into a soft kiss whispering how much you loved each other

the angst- its a bit dark for even my standards the mv actually made me think of arriving too late to stop yeji from leaving the office after your heated argument about a project you were both working on, she storms out furious and heads home but turns around to hear you calling out to her and…fails to notice the car turning the corner and hitting her, screaming you rush over to her bleeding body her face frozen in shock as the color drains from her face as she stares into your eyes, you plead and beg for her to hang on but its too late she can't hear your apologizes and i love yous as her body goes limp leaving you at the crossroad while the ambulance drives over too late T^T damn now im sad

#😚😚😚😚anon #😚 anon

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zaxal · 1 year

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🤯✨🤲💞

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

all of them no but genuinely, like, slice-of-life, coffee shop-like aus, curtains fic, etc -- i am not good at making everyday things interesting. it's probably why i end up writing a lot of angst; if i'm deep in a character's feelings, i don't have to reveal how shallow my perception of the Real World is. a lot of my longfic suffers between like, actual Events Occurring. the pace drags; the energy vanishes. i try to take a quiet moment and it just... rarely works. but the stories need those so i keep plugging away hoping i'll be a real boy eventually!

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

weh. ok um. i think i write complicated characters and complicated relationships really well. i don't mean like the Problematic Ones-complicated, but even when i was mainly writing shassie or shelnard. i took what canon gave me and expanded my personal understandings of those characters (admittedly with help from some dear friends c: ily) that made actually writing them give more depth to relationships that have the potential to be p shallow.

even when i'm deep in an au, i know where the strings are to pull to keep a character true to themselves, which makes the changes in their personalities/experiences hit harder because you can see the shape of the canon character shining through.

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

ye, here's a preview of chapter 2 of My Lady of the Letters

In the late 18th century, buried in the depths of a Budapesti newspaper, there appeared a personal advertisement which, roughly translated, read:

“Foreign woman seeks diverting company with whom to discuss pleasures both grand and mundane. Good humor a must; knowledge of the arts preferred. Men seeking eventual matrimony should look elsewhere.”

For the first time since Crowley’s temporary relocation to a miserable, wintry Hungary, a sharp laugh broke through the frigid sneer that had taken up near-permanent residence on her face. She forgot for a moment about the snow that came up to her knees and the small, ultimately-pointless task Hell had given her, tracing her thumb under that last sentence. It spoke of jaded experience and bitter annoyance, each letter chosen carefully and paid for to drive off meddlesome men who looked to make a wife out of any woman who hadn’t yet turned them down.

It tickled at the back of her mind over the next few days. Crowley didn’t make a habit out of making casual human acquaintances, but why not this once? She was easygoing for a demon, and she knew more about art than any human alive. She certainly wasn’t going to bother the poor girl about marriage. Why not make the months she’d spend in Budapest a little more interesting?

Crowley wrote a letter, and when she sent it off, she knew that all other responses would be lost in the post.

💞 Who's your comfort character?

oh, aziraphale. i just think he's neat :3

tho if you go back through my fandom backlog, you can def pick out that there's one in each fandom bc they're the ones i'm meanest to skdfjksdd lassie, leonard hofstadter, michael bluth (i just typed michael butch someone end my entire life), chris argent, quentin coldwater, tomas ortega; if i whump them and/or bully them, it is bc i am spiritually holding them like a teddybear.

thank you!!!

#ask answers #inouken

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musicarenagh · 4 months

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Behind the Beats: Unveiling the Stories of Underdog's 'Trans Global Amnesia' Ok, let’s discuss about Underdog's latest album, “Trans Global Amnesia”. These guys from Boston are flying us on a journey through their music. Picture this: So you start with the song ‘You Told Me’ which is full of sheer energy and rocking tunes. It’s got those stabs and the punk vibe – it gets at you right from the start. They fire on you with “Helsinki Airport Blues” – the catchy vocals, sharp guitar solos – it would be impossible not to tap your feet. "Summer Song" mellows things out a little bit with the melodic riffs and jazzy percussion that just sound great. Now, the fun begins – with "New World Raga." The incorporate of Eastern elements and gets good. It is like a rock went around the world. "Rocket Baby" returns that feel-good rock ‘n’ roll and “Louie & Marie” slows down the genre but that funky beat is still there to stay. In a chat with Scott, he spills the beans on why they're called Underdog (hint: Love for the underdogs and a dog named Suzy. They describe what influences their music – everyday things and also random happenings that trigger the imagination. Scott also relates to life outside the studio – art, vintage cars and his love of travel. They do not candycoat the many hurdles that are associated with the music business. Airplay and exposure? Yeah, it’s a really hard one to crack with so much competition and the artists hustling. In the future, Underdog is completely wrapped up in their latest work, "Wonderland," and they can’t wait to take on a live stage show that should be set somewhere around Boston. Collaborations? Perhaps in the future, but at this point that just need to record their backlog of songs. Scott sends a big thank you to all his followers. But without you guys, they are only making the sounds. Listen to Trans Global Amnesia below https://open.spotify.com/album/2bLEnXrbvbHHfKylIOdbsm?si=S64jON6lT-a3MaY5OqJoIA Follow Underdog on Facebook Twitter Spotify Soundcloud Bandcamp Youtube Instagram What is your stage name Underdog is the band name. We don’t have individual stage names, we use our own names, Scott and Bryn. Like any group of close friends we have nicknames, but those are generally just kicked around between us and other close friends. Mine is “Dog”, Bryn’s is “A Major Rock Dude”, hence the AMRD in the studio name and his music publishing company. These go way back to the early 80s, when we first met. Is there a story behind your stage name? At the time we started getting together, I was sitting in as a rehearsal guitarist for my wife’s band The Underachievers, who were getting ready to do a reunion show after 30 years, and a couple of the members who now live in Vancouver were only coming into town a few days before the show, so I was helping them out with practices. I thought it would be cool to somehow incorporate the “Under”part into our name, and “Dog” being my nickname, Underdog obviously presented itself. I figured it was nice and short, easy to remember, and as they say, everyone loves an underdog. Also, we had just gotten Suzie, a Black Lab mix puppy from a local shelter, and as black dogs are often overlooked or the last to be adopted, I felt like she was also an underdog. Suzie is the band mascot, and our avatar image on social media and other sites. The fact that we are also a bit on the older side, and not the most likely of “pop stars”, having to hold down days jobs, and doing all the recording on our own at home, seemed to echo the idea nicely. It feels like we’ve got a lot going against us, without much going for us. Beyond that, I also remember seeing a German documentary around the same time about dogs that were being raised by prisoners called “Underdogs”, which added another relay ref meaning. Obviously there’s the old Underdog cartoon, which I loved growing up, but really was not on my mind when I came up with the name. Still with names like Sweet Polly Purebred for a heroine, and Simon Bar Sinister as a villain, you can’t go wrong.

[caption id="attachment_53849" align="alignnone" width="1449"] Scott[/caption] Where do you find inspiration? From anywhere really, but usually from either what’s going on in our lives, or things that are happening around us, stuff we see or read can also inspire songs. It’s a pretty wide variety of things, but usually I try to find some way of making it personal, so that I actually have an access point into the song, but at the same time making it accessible to anyone who’s listening to it. What was the role of music in the early years of your life? I started playing piano around the the age of five, and studied with my Aunt Dolly for a number of years. When I was around nine years old I switched over to trumpet, which I continued with into college. I first picked up the guitar in my early teens, and there was a steady migration towards that over the years. I really started more as a bass player in my first couple of bands and moved over to guitar and singing from there. Bryn also started music at a fairly young age, both drums and guitar, and has continued to develop his guitar skills over the time I have known him. When we first met he was playing drums, but was interested is starting a band where he was playing guitar and singing his own songs, which is how the Hackmasters came about in the mid-80s. Are you from a musical or artistic family? Not really, although both my parents played piano, and later on my mom studied flute and and my dad recorder. I have an older brother and sister that don’t play anything, but my younger brother, Stuart, was also a guitar player. He had a folk music career around Boston for a number of years, but sadly he passed away in early 2020 from a long term illness. Although my parents always encouraged art and music, they always said that they were tough fields to make a living in, so of course I went to college first for music and then later on for art. Hahaha! Bryn’s older sister was an accomplished artist, who lived in Venice, Italy. She did a lot of drawing and printmaking, I believe, but sadly she also passed away a number of years ago. I remember Bryn brought her to visit my painting studio in Dorchester in the late 90s or early 00s and we had a nice time talking about our work. I don’t think either of his parents played music or made art, that I know of. Who inspired you to be a part of the music industry? I suppose for me the simple answer is the Beatles, I grew up with them in the 60s and it sure looked like a good time. But there are plenty of other artists that have helped to keep the dream alive over the years. I guess music has always been a part of my life, so it seems like a very natural, and comfortable place for me to be. How did you learn to sing/write/to play? Although I took lessons for piano and trumpet, I’m basically a self taught guitarist. I did take some music theory classes in high school and at college, but that was all focused on Classical music and four part hamony, so the songs that I’ve written over the years just pretty much come from within. My singing is not my strength, but I was able to face that shortcoming a bit easier in the 90s when a less polished vocal style became more acceptable in mainstream music. Bryn has studied both drums and guitar, and still is a student of Sam Davis, a very talented musician in the Boston area, that has a career that goes way back. So he is definitely the more accomplished guitarist, and therefore takes most of the leads. He also has a much wider variety of influences, that all blend together to make his own unique style. What was the first concert that you ever went to and who did you see perform? Wow, not sure I can even remember exactly, but most likely it was a show at the Rat in Boston, so probably some local bands. I do remember getting in there underage to see the Runaways around 1977, but it was not the first show I went to. How could you describe your music? It’s hard for me to have a perspective on it, as it’s our stuff.

But I would say garage, punk, hard rock, without being metal, although there are touches of that occasionally. I would not call it pop, especially by today’s standards, but I think it’s fairly melodic, and hopefully the tunes are catchy to the listener’s ear. It’s definitely guitar driven, with the vocals being just another instrument in the band, rather than the focus. We like using the term Supersonic because it sort of defies any sort of specific categorization. I’m sure a lot of people find it unpleasant and abrasive. Describe your creative process. Sometimes it starts with a single line, or thought that becomes the foundation of the song. I usually come up with the music first and flush out the lyrics afterwards, but occasionally the words spill out first. When that happens it’s usually a very quick thing, and the melody line is right there in my head at the moment. I’ve had ideas come to me in dreams or right on the edge of sleep too, and I try to keep paper and pen nearby to be able to get it down before it’s lost. I keep a pocket recorder handy also, so I can capture words or ideas quickly as they come up, especially if I’m practicing guitar and something magical happens, it’s nice to be able to capture it in its pure essence. What is your main inspiration? My bride, Priscilla and my dog, Suzie for the most part. Songs like “Suzie My Dear” and “Everything I Can” off the our first album, “Ether Dome,” were inspired by both of them, as are many of the songs I’ve written. But sometimes it’s a random thing I’ve come across. Both “Munchausen By Proxy” and “Mallus Maleficarum” are good examples of that sort of thing happening. What musician do you admire most and why? Too many to list here, but one is Louise Post. She has really shown me that an independent artist can have a presence, especially if they are willing to persevere. In the last year or so she has released three vastly different records, that are also a complete departure from her work with Veruca Salt. Paul McCartney is also someone who I think embodies what an artist is. As much as I love the Beatles, and some of his solo work is amazing, the fact that he was into the avant-garde music and art scene ahead of the others, and has a successful painting career, as well, says a lot about him being a well rounded artist. I’ve always felt that if you are involved in the arts in any way you probably do more than one of them well. It’s just the nature of creative beings. Did your style evolve since the beginning of your career? Absolutely. I think that’s the case for any creative person. The alternative is just stagnation, which would probably lead to boredom and then finding something else to do. Not to say that there aren’t artists out there who have made a living off of doing the same thing over and over again, but I don’t think I would find that very rewarding. I know that anytime I encounter new music, or a different style that attracts me to it, I can see traces of it in the new songs I write. Sometimes consciously and other times completely unconsciously. [caption id="attachment_53847" align="alignnone" width="1412"] Bryn[/caption] Who do you see as your main competitor? Everyone and no one, hahaha! Seriously though, there are so many artists out there vying for exposure, and your ear, that it can be overwhelming, and hard to feel like you’re making any sort of impression or impact. I remember thinking in the 90s when my band fin-de-siècle was first coming onto the Boston music scene how much different it was from the 80s when I was in World of Distortion. There was more of a sense of comaradrie among the bands rather than a competitive vibe. I think that has carried on till now. There are so many talented bands here in Boston, but I feel like we are off doing our own thing, so there isn’t a Beatles vs. Stones things going on either. What are your interests outside of music? Spending time with my girl and my dog. I also enjoy oil painting, photography and love movies and reading a good book.

I’ve always loved vintage cars from the 50s, 60s and early 70s too. Traveling is another thing I really enjoy, but it’s an expensive hobby for sure. Trying to find some time for meditation in recent years has also been very helpful and relaxing. I know that Bryn shares an interest in cars and travel, and he loves animals too. A lot of what he does revolves around music, including playing drums in a friend’s band that does children’s music. I’ve been to some of their shows, and when a mosh pit of 5-10 year olds gets going it’s not much different from a lot of clubs I’ve been in. The lines between child and adult entertainment really start to blur at moment like that. If it wasn't a music career, what would you be doing? Hopefully some sort of artistic pursuit. I work as a graphic designer, but would love to be in my painting studio as a full time thing, or finding some way of traveling more, perhaps as a photographer. What is the biggest problem you have encountered in the journey of music? Trying to get airplay and high level exposure. Again, I think this is just a by product of there being so many artists out there now trying to get their voices heard. The fact that anyone can promote themselves has multiplied the amount of people out there doing it. If you could change one thing in the music industry, what would it be? Creating more opportunities for up and coming acts. As someone once said,” The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side." I don’t think much has changed much since then, and probably even gotten worse in some ways. Why did you choose this as the title of this project? A friend of mine had a sister that woke up in a hotel room in Maine on a business trip and had no idea where she was, or why she was there. When she was checked out at a local hospital they told her she had “Transient Global Amnesia”, which like any good game of telephone morphed into Trans Global Amnesia by the time I heard about it. I thought it sounded too cool to pass up, and even told my friend I was going to use it for an album title. https://open.spotify.com/artist/41SglN4t6hoMy0ndyhHmRl?si=8BbVRmXeQ1SP2l0H2y9-sA What are your plans for the coming months? Working on our next album, “Wonderland” is a top priority at the moment. Also looking to get some live shows booked, but the club scene in Boston isn’t thriving the way it used to, so those opportunities are harder to come by these days. Do you have any artistic collaboration plans? Not at the moment, We get a lot of offers from people who want to collaborate, but I feel that usually it’s a singer looking for an established group to work with, or wanting to dose sort of re-mix, which is not our thing really.. We have so many songs backlogged at the moment that we are really trying to focus on getting them all recorded, especially with new ones coming along all the time. What message would you like to give to your fans? A very big thank you for their continued support over the years, and let them know that them being there for us means the world to us. Realistically, without them we are nothing. Thanks for taking the time to talk with us Mister Styx, and we hope to speak with you again in the future Take care Scott

#Interviews #TransGlobalAmnesia #TransGlobalAmnesiabyUnderdog #TransGlobalAmnesiafromUnderdog #TransGlobalAmnesiaUnderdog #Underdog #UnderdogdropsTransGlobalAmnesia #UnderdogoutwithTransGlobalAmnesia #UnderdogreleasesTransGlobalAmnesia #UnderdogTransGlobalAmnesia #UnderdogwithTransGlobalAmnesia

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simmer-roo · 1 year

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25 Get to Know me Questions!

Name: Esme Sparrow

1. When did you last cry? The night before my wedding when Julian and I got in an argument… but it’s ok.

2. Do you have kids? No but I can’t wait!🥹

3. Your eye colour? Brown🤎

4. Scary movies or happy endings? Are you kidding, happily ever after please!

5. What songs are on the soundtrack to your life? Pretty much anything by Andrew Belle!

6. Any pets? Pedro, my cat and Hammy the hamster (unoriginal name, ik)

7. How old are you? 24

8. Do you play any sports? Too busy with my nose in a book

9. How tall are you? 5’7

10. When is your birthday? February 20th!

11. What is your zodiac sign? Pisces ♓️

12. Do you have a job? If so what is it? Freelance painter! My dream job🥰

13. Where do you live? In Newcrest, in my dream home☺️

14. Who do you live with? Hubby Julian (we just got married! I’m writing this while on our honeymoon!), kitty Pedro, and Hammy the hamster.

15. What is your favourite drink? A nice refreshing Ridgeport🍹

16. Do you have a best friend? Lindsay and Leah!

17. When did you first feel like an adult? Honestly I still don’t feel like one most of the time! I feel like an imposter lol

18. What is one thing you want to do before you die? Open an art gallery for others to come enjoy my art and maybe I’d even consider selling some pieces!

19. Do you like books? If so what’s your favourite one? How many times can someone reread the Court of Thorns and Roses series? The limit does not exist.

20. What are your hobbies? I really love to paint (good thing that’s my job😉), but I also love baking and reading! Oh and playing with my cat!!

21. What is your personal style? I’d like to call it… elevated causal

22. what is your favourite type of weather? Hey siri, play sunny and 75 by Joe Nichols

23. Do you have a favourite emoji? 🫶🏻

24. Do you use simstagram? if so what’s your @? @lifewithesme

25. what is the last text you sent (and who did you text)? I sent Lindsay a text to let her know our flight landed in Tartosa! “just landed in Tartosa! Honeymoon, here I come! See you in a few days, miss you already! Say hi to your hubby and baby scout for me😘”

Hey y’all! This is just an introduction to one of the sims from my new gameplay I’ve been working on. I have a huge backlog of screenies to edit and post for her and her husband who you’ll all get to meet in my next post! I’m so obsessed with their lives lol. Can’t wait to share more!!

Also: DISCLAIMER!!!!!

This sim was originally created by the wonderful @ellcrze. You can download her from ellcrze’s patreon here.

#my sims #introducing the beautiful Esme #growing together

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septaofficial · 1 year

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I emerge from the wildlands for you to answer these video game asks

1,2,3,5,7,8,11,13,15,18,20, 21, 22, 24, 29, 31

wow lmao that's about half the questions on there!!

OK lemme see...

1. last game I finished: prolly the mass effect trilogy? lol I don't complete games that often

2. games I'm currently playing: Fire Emblem Engage

3. 1-3 games I played in the last 12 months I really enjoyed: oh jeez my memory's not good enough for this. ummmm ME: Legendary edition, Sid Meier's Pirates, and Catherine Full Body

5. Games coming out I'm looking forward to: Pikmin 4, that's about it

7. a series I've lost interest in: I do not play enough video games to really have an answer for this lol

8. a series I haven't played but I'm interested in trying: Dragon Age

11. player insert protag or pre-made: both tbh, they serve different purposes and I enjoy each

13. first video game song that comes to mind: idk the name of it, but it's from early into the first sonic adventure game

15. do you have a backlog: no, I don't track things like that lol too many games

18. a game location I really like: hhmmm... think I'll go with the destructible Lego city in Lego Star Wars lol

20. a boss I think is really cool: Kyle Katarn from Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy is a really good one! also the arena champion in Jade Empire, very good story there!

21. a boss that was disappointing: Kai Lang from ME3, every single time

22. a game ending that really stuck with me: Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy dark side ending, and also The Company of Myself, an old flash game I first played over a decade ago lol

24. a game with a cool art style: I love the paper style of the first 2 Paper Mario games! and the art in Bastion is great!!

29. do you have one or multiple games going at a time: one lol I do not have the capacity for more than one game at a time

31. a game I'd recommend to someone who's never played video games before: in a vacuum, probably like Risk of Rain 2 lol it's a fun game to play with friends

#ask game 021023 #<- check that tag for the list of questions lol it's from a while ago #thanks for the ask friendo!!!!!#I'd love to play a game with you sometime soon!!!#hmu if you're available!!!

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wangxianficrecs · 3 years

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Hi Mojo! I have a question for you + your followers- I have a HUGE backlog of Untamed (mostly Wangxian) fanart /illustration stuff that has never seen the light of day. Some of it is inspired by fic, some of it not as much. What do I do with it /where do I put it? I’d love for other people to get to enjoy what I’ve made but also? I’m kind of nervous. Do people actually look for art on AO3??? Tumblr is a hot mess for image posting? Would love some input.

2/2 - ok left out an important detail on the last ask- quantity. I am dealing with ~75ish finished illustrations plus sketches; all digital. Not sure if that makes a difference

Hmmm, this is an interesting question. I'm not an artist, and have never tried posting any art other than things already associated with fic. Personally, I don't search for art on AO3 -- I stumble across it usually because it's linked from a fic I'm reading.

I think tumblr's great for art? That's from a consumer perspective, though. I think it's much better than twitter, because you can use tags to search through someone's catalog, going as far back into the past as you want. So my first impulse is to tell you to post it here, and use those first 5 tags carefully, since they're the ones that show up in people's feeds.

Any art you have that's inspired by fic, I'd suggest you contact the author of the fic! They'll be thrilled, they can embed your art in their story and/or include a link to either ao3 or tumblr or wherever you post it.

Tumblr's tag #wangxian has 15k followers. The tag #the untamed has 20k followers. #MDZS has 12k followers. #mo dao zu shi, 18k followers. I mostly see fanart that has these tags. Tag with the individuals involved, too, like if it's #wei wuxian, etc.

If it were me, I'd set them up in a queue, and just dribble out a couple or few each day, so as to not glut the tag, but I don't have strong feelings about this.

(*Also, if you don't do an art-specific blog, I'd be sure to have a consistent tag, like "my art" or even more specific "my Untamed fanart" so that people can search through your blog for only your original stuff, rather than wading through reblogs. Your personal tag doesn't need to be one of the first 5.*)

Do I have artists or art collectors who have further (or different) input?

#thatotherginger #the untamed #mo dao su zhi #fanart #fan art #artists on tumblr #best way to post #this is not my wheelhouse

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mopeytropey · 4 years

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a beer buds series: chapter 5

newest update available below the cut and on AO3 here :) those of you anticipating more of gay disaster!Lexa should be pleased ...

Timeline: takes place between chapters 4 and 5 of 'apu' after Clarke attempts to host a dinner party only to have Lexa arrive as her only guest

Beer: Sunday Paper IMPERIAL STOUT WITH COFFEE

The smoothness of this beer belies it’s 9.9% ABV. Fresh roasted coffee nose leads into a smooth and rich roasted dark chocolate and coffee flavor with hints of dried black cherries.

ABV 9.9%

Sunday Paper Imperial Stout: Exhibit A (Framingham, MA)

Lexa has settled into the worn comfort of Lincoln’s sofa for all of six minutes before a large, curious ball of grey fur is sitting beside her. The cat blinks up at her with its owlish eyes the color of rust, and Lexa smiles while rubbing behind its ears.

“I still can’t believe you’ve named your cat after my father.”

“Come on! Tell me she doesn’t look exactly like Gus!” Lincoln shouts from the nearby kitchen.

The cat begins to purr at Lexa’s doting touch, and she thinks it enhances the resemblance even further. A docile temperament hidden beneath the imposing stature of her father. Uniform grey coloring gives way to a wide swath of darker fur beneath the cat’s chin, cascading down its chest like an unkempt beard. Lexa smiles again. Gus the cat has a bulky frame but is gentle and affectionate. She thinks the comparison is entirely apt.

“She’s bigger than when I was here last,” Lexa observes as Lincoln enters the room carrying two glasses of dark beer with heavy foam.

“She eats like a horse,” he laughs, setting a drink in front of Lexa before collapsing onto the other end of his couch. “Plus, I’m fairly certain Octavia is spoiling her with extra treats. Cheers, buddy.”

Gus abandons her immediately for the comfort of Lincoln’s lap while Lexa retrieves her glass.

She reaches down the short expanse of sofa cushions to clink her glass against Lincoln’s. “How drunk am I going to be after this one?”

“Imperial stout. 9.9%,” Lincoln smiles. “But, I’ve got lasagna and garlic bread in the oven to compensate.”

“So I’ll be hungover and doubling my running route tomorrow. Thanks a lot.”

“What are friends for?” Lincoln beams. “Hey! We should do 1A down to the island and back—weather is supposed to be super mild tomorrow and I’m done with my meetings by 4:00.”

The route past Clarke’s house.

The new information of Clarke’s residence is like a hot coal buried deep in Lexa’s stomach. The architecture. The pungent smell of the marshes. Seeing Clarke backdropped by her own surroundings had completed so much of the picture Lexa has been composing for months. Everything about the house, and Clarke in it, made sense—from the colors of her open kitchen to the art hung on the walls to the spiral staircase that Clarke practically forbade Lexa to ascend.

She swallows, wondering if the blush she feels on her cheeks will show in the low light of Lincoln’s living room. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

“So, how was it on Tuesday? Sorry we bailed.”

Not for the first time, Lexa wonders if Lincoln has somehow infiltrated her inner thoughts based on the timeliness of his ask. The inquiry does nothing to lessen her blush, but Lexa hides further embarrassment behind a large sip of stout.

“You mean showing up for a dinner party to find you’re the only guest in attendance? Not awkward at all, that’s for sure.”

Gus seems to vacillate between the two of them for a moment, finally curling against Lexa’s leg and pushing her paws into Lexa’s thigh when she sinks her hand into thick, soft fur. The sound of Gus’s purring is amplified by Lincoln’s quiet apartment, and Lexa begins to relax with its perpetual hum.

“Yeah, but it’s Clarke,” Lincoln laughs. “I’m sure you guys had fun without us anyway.”

Lexa can’t decide if he’s really so oblivious or playing dumb for her sake, but she looks at him like he’s sprouted a second, immaculately shaved head anyway. She is tempted to recount every movement, and look, and smile, and gesture that she was forced to endure in Clarke’s company that made her feel, in fact, incredibly awkward. And, unsure. Anxious. Elated. Questioning every decision she’d ever made in her life to that point.

But, sure: fun is more succinct.

“We had a nice time.” Lexa smiles into her beer, remembering. “I think I talked a lot.”

“I’m sorry—what?” Lincoln further mocks her by cupping a hand around his ear as if to hear her more clearly.

“You’re such an ass. Why do I even hang out with you?”

“I’ve been grandfathered in,” Lincoln shrugs.

“When we were out on the boat, Clarke shared some things with me—personal things—and it felt like it was time to reciprocate.”

“Her dad?” Lincoln asks in a far more cautious tone. Lexa nods, taking another sip of the dense, dark beer. “The way the girls talk about him, he sounds incredible. A great guy to have lost so soon. O says the Griffins practically raised her. She really loved Jake.”

“I think Clarke’s connection with him was quite strong.”

Lincoln slowly nods through a heavy sigh. “So, how much of the backlog did you offer up in return? How far back into the Brooklyn archives did chatty Lexa venture?”

He’s broken the mood, and Lexa gives him a grateful smile. “Quite a bit, actually. I was also sort of high at the time.” Lincoln almost chokes on a sip of beer as Lexa shrugs. “But, I’m glad I told her. It felt good to talk about it.”

“Yeah.” Lincoln’s dark eyes have taken on a distant quality, and Lexa suspects he may be thinking of Octavia. Perhaps he’s thinking of all the parts of his dark history that he’s been able to share with someone as strong and resilient and unwavering as her. For someone as reticent as Lincoln, it must feel like infinite relief to give that part of himself to someone else. “We beat some shit odds, didn’t we?” he finally says.

Lexa exhales a humorless laugh. “Understatement.”

It had been a childhood of survival for them both. Anya too. But then they found each other, and it started to feel less harrowing, less isolating and alone. Even when they lost track of one another—transported from one family to another, in different boroughs, different schools—Anya taught them to rely on a network of trusted contacts. Information from other kids in the system became the string that kept them tied together.

And then, during that frightening summer when Lexa was thirteen and Anya disappeared, lost to another state—shipped halfway across the country—Lexa wouldn’t let them rest until she and Lincoln found her. It would be another eight months before Anya landed back on New York City asphalt and Lexa could breathe steadily again.

A timer sounding off in the kitchen breaks the atmosphere again, and Lincoln sets his beer down to briskly stand from the couch. “I’m gonna check on the lasagna. You good on beer?”

Lexa eyes him, incredulous. “I’ll be drinking this same beer in an hour. Quit trying to get me drunk.” Her phone buzzes while Lincoln exits, his laughter trailing after him.

Clarke’s name on her phone screen has Lexa shifting around on the couch, setting down her beer and resting her elbows on her knees. That now familiar coil of excitement swirls in her stomach as she opens the message.

Clarke Griffin (6:07PM): new artist featured at the coffee shop has some amazing photography of NY

Clarke Griffin (6:07PM): red hook, I think?

Lexa gives in to the tug at her lips, the way Clarke’s innocuous observation blooms warmth in her chest because of its casual consideration.

Clarke had been thinking of her.

She more often tries to suppress the way her mind wants to calculate just how much Clarke thinks of her. But tonight, she allows it. Even a momentary concession has Lexa biting at her lips to keep her smile from spreading.

(6:08PM): Clarke, please tell me you are not drinking coffee at six pm.

Clarke Griffin (6:08PM): Ok. Lexa, I am not drinking coffee at 6pm.

Lexa is readying her next reply, gently chastising Clarke for her irresponsible caffeine intake for what is likely the hundredth time, when Lincoln’s voice announces his return to the room.

“What’s Costia up to tonight?”

A lurch in her chest has Lexa nearly dropping her phone onto the floor. Mention of Costia while staring at an innocent message from Clarke is like a head-on collision in her brain. She blinks, closing her phone all together and setting it carefully on the table beside her beer.

It shouldn’t feel like an irritant, like vinegar in an open wound, but Lincoln asking after Costia grates the skin at the back of her neck.

Lexa works to remain calm, grinds her jaw, and goes for vague nonchalance. “Boston. Working late.”

“Damn, that sucks. Again?” Lincoln returns to the sofa and stretches his arm along the back cushions. Gus had since wandered off during Lexa’s less-than-scandalous text exchange about photography, but she returns to nuzzle at Lincoln’s calves.

“Par for the course,” Lexa exhales, willing herself to ease the raised hackles she feels along her spine.

Lincoln’s tone is sympathetic. “It’s been happening a lot lately, huh?”

After another sip of beer, Lexa turns into the couch, folding one leg beneath the other. “I’ve lost track, honestly.”

“We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to, but I have a lot of questions.”

Lexa runs her fingers through her hair and stares at the drink held in her right hand. She doesn’t like to think about all the ins and outs and what-ifs of her current relationship, let alone voice her wandering thoughts aloud. But, Lincoln is a good friend—more than that, he is an integral part of her found family. She finishes the last quarter of her pint in two or three gulps.

“I’m probably going to require more beer.”

Lincoln smiles kindly, patting her kneecap before taking the empty glass and standing once again. “More of the same? Or do you want to try something else?”

Lexa stops herself from asking for an entire bottle of whiskey. “What else do you have?”

“Come have a look,” Lincoln offers.

She follows him into a petite kitchen, further dwarfed by Lincoln’s immense stature.

“It smells amazing in here.”

“Should be ready in the next half hour or so,” Lincoln tells her as he swings open the fridge door. There is a low shelf stocked entirely with various cans of beer. “Pick your poison.”

Lexa squats onto her haunches to examine a few of the labels, in the end deciding on an IPA she remembers seeing on the taps at Dockside.

“That’s a good one. Octavia is obsessed with it,” Lincoln tells her as he opens his cabinets for a fresh glass and snaps the tab on the beer can for her. He hands over the new glass of beer before rinsing the can and tossing it into a squat recycling bin beside his trash can.

Lexa rests the small of her back against the edge of his kitchen counters and enjoys her first sip while Gus winds around her ankles and flicks her bushy tail.

“Octavia has good taste.”

“Tell me something I didn’t already know,” Lincoln smirks.

Lexa shakes her head in mock astonishment. “Legitimately. Such an ass.”

His smile transforms to something more genuine as Lincoln props his weight against the counter opposite. “She’s a complete workaholic—never stops thinking about the job, reading up on new techniques, emerging brewers, hop varietals. All of it. The success of that bar is her life. She lives and breathes it, and it shows.”

“But she—” Lexa adjusts the fit of her plaid button down, swallows her uncertainties with another sip of beer, and forces herself to engage in a conversation she has long since ignored. “You two still spend a lot of time together?”

“I think the fact that our mutual interests and careers virtually overlap sort of helps. But, yeah, I think regardless of that, we would still make time for each other.”

Lexa can only nod in response, returning to her beer in lieu of anything profound to say in turn.

“Are you guys able to spend any time together at this point? Costia’s schedule seems heinous.”

“We are. Here and there,” Lexa shrugs. “We went to see an exhibit at the MFA last weekend, which was nice.” Lexa frowns at the floor. “None of this is her fault. She tries.”

“There’s not always someone at fault when things stop working,” Lincoln says, not unkindly.

It doesn’t stop Lexa from grinding her jaw on instinct.

“I moved here for her. If we were to—I don’t even know what I would do if that happened.”

“Lex, you told me months ago that you were moving here to sort things out—not just with Costia, but with yourself, too.”

Lexa nods again and answers softly. “I know.”

“Let me ask you this: if Costia’s schedule were different, if she were able to do what she loved in school while also making more time for you and her, would it make you want to hang out any less with, you know, other people?”

Not so oblivious then.

He doesn’t have to say her name explicitly—the knowing look they share speaks volumes. Lexa looks away and licks her lips, stalling a response as her pulse quickens.

“I don’t know if—”

Her half-formed response is interrupted by Lincoln’s phone ringing on the counter beside him. He grins as he picks up the call.

“Speak of the devil. Hey, Clarke.”

Lexa sips her beer helplessly, shifting her weight from one foot to the other as her mind races. He’s answered the call on speaker, and Lexa braces for the distinct rasp of Clarke’s voice.

“Hey, it’s me,” Octavia answers, her voice sharp and distinct in it’s own way, and Lexa relaxes by a fraction.

“Oh! Hey, it’s you. Why are you calling from Clarke’s phone?”

“I can’t fucking find mine. Have you seen it at yours?”

“Uh, no,” Lincoln answers, nevertheless casting his eyes around the kitchen surfaces for any sign of it. “I can look around for it though.”

“We’re actually parked outside—”

“Hi, Lincoln!”

Clarke’s voice pipes through at a distance—as if Octavia hasn’t put the call on speaker but Clarke wanted to be included anyway. Lexa tenses in an instant.

“—on our way to Abby’s for dinner. Do you mind if I run up for a sec?”

“No, of course not. Come on up.”

“Are you sure? I’m not trying to interrupt your bro date with Lexa.”

“Hi, Lexa!”

“Clarke, is it possible for you to have any chill for longer than ninety seconds?” Octavia snaps.

A short and hushed squabble ensues over the next several seconds, likely within the confines of Clarke’s car. Lincoln shares a smile with Lexa across the small expanse of his kitchen as her stomach jumps with nervous energy.

“I’ll be up in a second,” Octavia grumbles.

She’s at the front door a moment later, and Lexa lingers by the kitchen doorway while Lincoln greets her with a brief kiss.

“Hey, Lexa.”

“Hi.” Lexa offers a half wave.

“I’ll be out of here so quickly, I swear.”

“Don’t worry about it. Do you want help looking?”

“Nah, I’m good. Clarke wants to talk to you anyway.”

This jolts Lexa to a standstill where she had begun to move slowly towards the sofa with Gus at her heels.

“Oh, she—I uh,” Lexa swallows down a fresh set of nerves that Octavia doesn’t seem to notice.

“Babe, can you check the back deck while I look in your bedroom? I was out there this morning for a little while, and I might have left it on one of the chairs.”

“Sure,” Lincoln answers, his arm still slung around Octavia’s waist as he leans down to kiss the top of her head.

They’re both gone from the room in another instant, leaving Lexa standing awkwardly between the front door and the couch where Gus has perched herself atop the back cushions. Lexa hesitates for long seconds, adjusting the rolled sleeves of her shirt while gnawing her lip as the decision to stay or go to Clarke flits irritatingly against her conscience.

Gus observes her solemnly, and she swears it’s the same look her own father pinned on her during that summer she turned sixteen and formed an unwavering desperation to impress Nathalie Rivera, who Lexa did not, irrefutably, have a crush on. Even going so far as to bribe Lincoln into teaching her the Spanish he’d picked up from his new foster mom. Lexa’s determination to get her attention could not be deterred, but she was not romantically interested in any way, Anya’s accusational taunts be damned.

“Don’t give me that look,” Lexa tells the cat as she rests her beer on Lincoln’s coffee table, slips into her shoes, and heads for the door.

She practically sprints (without logical cause) down the flight of interior stairs to the main door, which opens onto a front walk, at the end of which sits Clarke’s silver car. Lexa manages to calm her breathing enough by the time she reaches the driver’s side of the car that she’s not visibly out-of-breath, but her lungs feel constricted nonetheless.

“Hey!” Clarke beams as she slips from the driver’s seat when she notices Lexa approaching.

“Hi.”

Lexa forces her mouth closed to keep from audibly stuttering. Clarke is often dressed at Dockside in an expansive wardrobe that feels like a personal attack on Lexa’s wellbeing. But, something about seeing Clarke in jeans and a warm sweater, looking casually elegant for a dinner with her mother, has Lexa stumbling over basic conversation skills like she hasn’t in years.

“You’re, um, you guys have—” she clears her throat, completely ineffectually, and Clarke very poorly hides her amusement.

“We’re on our way to my mom’s. Raven just got this major promotion so we’re celebrating by letting her cook us dinner.”

Lexa places her hands into her front pockets and smiles at Clarke as if her whole body doesn’t feel like a brittle, shaken leaf.

“You maintain very bizarre friendships.”

“That’s an interesting take coming from one of my best friends.”

“I didn’t know what I was getting into,” Lexa smirks. “Clearly.”

Clarke looks away with a laugh and leans against the side of her car to cross her arms along her stomach. The gold of her necklace pendant glints in the streetlamp above them. She nods towards the house at Lexa’s back when her laughter has subsided.

“Sorry we crashed.” Clarke’s face scrunches prettily with guilt, and Lexa makes the wise decision to avert her eyes with a shrug.

“It’s totally fine. Unavoidable emergency, right?”

“Or, they just devised a pathetic excuse to makeout for a few minutes.”

“Right,” Lexa laughs. She cranes her neck to look back at the house. “Maybe I shouldn’t have left them alone.”

“At this rate, they could be grabbing a quickie.”

It’s now Lexa who is twisting her mouth at Clarke’s overt sexual reference, hiding embarrassment behind disgust. “Clarke, ew.”

It only serves to make Clarke laugh again, and Lexa is forced to look away a second time.

“So what’s up? Did you need something? Or, did you just really miss me?”

“What?” Lexa must look horror-stricken because Clarke is sputtering more laughter. “No, I’m just—Octavia said you wanted to see me.”

Smooth. Very smooth.

“I didn’t—” Clarke starts to protest, looking a little unnerved herself before rolling her eyes. “She’s an ass.”

The familiar insult makes Lexa laugh, and Clarke smiles in kind. “She’s well matched then.”

“Lincoln? An ass?” Clarke looks scandalized. “No!”

Lexa shakes her head with a long sigh. “You have no idea.”

A charged moment between them stretches taut, as it so often does, and Lexa is reminded of all the other moments that have preceded it.

Tuesday night spent salvaging a failed dinner party.

A blissful day on the water in Clarke’s boat.

Coffee along the harbor.

Aimless walks about town. Lingering goodbyes.

And, countless other instances in which Lexa must fight this same impulse. She’s not at liberty to admit to such wants, let alone act on them, but the thought of kissing Clarke persists behind a veneer of practiced composure.

Sometimes Lexa thinks that if Clarke were to lean in, make the decision for them both, she would let her.

Clarke is too good a person to make such advances; even hoping for such an outcome is wildly unfair, and Lexa hates herself a little bit for it.

She wears a regretful smile that she presumes Clarke has come to recognize—the way it is reflected back to her as Lexa sighs. “So, I guess I’m going to head back up. Lincoln has promised me twice my weight in carbs.”

“Ooh!” Clarke’s eyes light up as they so often do at the mention of food. “What’s on the menu?”

“Lasagna.” The answer comes from over Lexa’s shoulder, and she turns to see Octavia ambling down the front walk with a small plate and a mouthful of pasta. “And, it’s so, fucking good.”

“Aren’t you two on your way to dinner?”

Octavia shrugs, “Appetizer.”

“I hope you know you’re sharing that with me,” Clarke tells her as Octavia rounds the car and opens the passenger door.

“You’ll have to pry the fork from my cold, dead fingers.”

Clarke scoffs, opening her own door. “As if cutlery has ever stopped me from stealing food off your plate.”

“I’ll see you guys later,” Lexa smiles, taking one or two backwards steps towards the house.

“Later, dude,” Octavia answers before closing herself into the car.

Clarke smiles warmly, her eyes softening even as Lexa creates more distance between them. “Bye.”

Lexa can feel the warmth of Clarke’s gaze at the base of her stomach, swirling lazily. “Bye.”

She ascends Lincoln’s stairs briskly, determined to figure out her emotional baggage sooner rather than later and finally get her life together.

:::

#a beer bud series #apu #a pleasant undoing #brewkru!#clexa fic

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