#or how hard I'm doing crafting about my feelings because I really can not deal right now

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

I'm soooo sorry you're under the weather and dealing with crappy stuff! I hope things get better for you, physically and mentally 🙏 Get lots of rest if you can, and drink all the fluids!

Headcanon requests, is it? How about the OPLA men (Shanks & Mihawk, but also take your pick, etc) with a multi-tasking reader who delights in various hobbies to keep busy, and occasionally drags them into getting involved? Whether it be container gardening, knitting, baking, sewing, artwork, etc.

Bonus if they're also contending with where exactly reader stores all of her crap when it's not in use, not at all guilty of this myself 🙈🤣

Thank you so, so, so much. It’s been a really bad day and this has honestly helped a lot.

Like I feel this hard. There’s guitar picks and tuning peg winders and little notebooks full of story notes and recipes and origami scattered all over my house.

Just gonna do Shanks and Mihawk this time, because they very much are my main comfort characters right now.

The fact that one of my comfort characters is so murdery probably does not say good things for my mental health but whatever

Hobbies

OPLA! Shanks and Mihawk x Reader

Cloyingly fluffy, here is a spoon with which to gag yourself, just in case c>===

Shanks

He is absolutely so game for all of this.

Such a child about it, if you’re trying to do anything new he’s just so excited about it and needs to know everything.

Completely in your business, asking ten thousand questions, along with the inevitable starry-eyed, “Can I help?”

And you’d have to be heartless to turn down those puppy-dog eyes.

It might not turn out to be his thing, and he might get in the way more than he actually helps, but he’s going to enjoy the experience with you regardless, and his enthusiasm is just so precious that it makes it more fun for you as well.

The exception here is knitting. Knitting can get fucked. He tried, holding one needle in his hand and the other between his teeth, and somehow ended up nearly giving himself a tracheotomy.

But if you knit, sew, or crochet something for him, he’s going to unironically wear it everywhere and brag about it to anyone who will listen.

Baking, though, turns out he has something of a knack for it. And now his go-to solution if you’re sad or upset about something is to bake you cookies, because “How can anyone be sad when there are cookies?” And, well, he’s not entirely wrong.

The captain’s cabin is just completely cluttered with arts and crafts supplies, with so many signs and knickknacks of your many and varied hobbies, and he sincerely loves it because there’s just so much of you everywhere he looks. He’s always felt at home on the sea, but this just makes it feel even more like home.

Mihawk

Not quite as perceptive to participating. He might if you ask him, but some things might take convincing.

He’s an utter perfectionist about everything, so if you do convince him to try anything, he’s probably going to fixate on it until he’s a certified expert and compete with you over who’s better at it.

More refined and traditional artistic endeavors definitely appeal to him more—you could probably convince him to try painting or drawing pretty easily, but things like sewing or crocheting are going to be a little more of a stretch.

Gardening in general is honestly fine as well, container or otherwise.  The more you can grow on the island or around the castle, the less he has to concern himself with leaving to deal with other people. And it is fairly convenient to have fresh herbs growing right in the kitchen.

Fairly adept at cooking already—he’s spent most of his life in solitude, so cooking for himself was something of a necessity. Baking isn’t exactly his forte, but he will partake if you ask him to.

He acts like the clutter of your supplies irritates him, but really only so he can give you a room or two of the castle dedicated solely to your hobbies. No point looking a gift horse in the mouth, and you know he’s just being surly to protect his pride.

You know because even if he isn’t interested in it himself, he does enjoy watching you work, sitting off to the side with a book and a glass of wine, glancing up every so often to see your progress.

#opla #one piece #mihawk #shanks #dracule mihawk #red-haired shanks #shanks opla #mihawk opla #opla headcanons #one piece headcanons #shanks x reader #mihawk x reader #fluff

[strangecloud]

I mean no hate or disrespect when I say that Fallout 4 has what is probably the worst story I've seen in a videogame.

I want to preface this with the fact that I enjoy Fallout 4. That game is mad fun. Shooting feels good, exploring is nice, the crafting is very well done. It's a high quality release as far as I'm concerned and I deeply enjoy it. And I don't even mean that it's the worst quality story I've ever seen, but it is a very awkward fit for the game it's in.

The most interesting thing about it is that it's a reversal from Fallout 3. Instead of searching for your dad, you're searching for your son. And there's so much that doesn't really work and is executed poorly on that front.

Remember how Todd made a big deal about how you could name your character something like "Fuckface" and your pet robot would actually refer to you by name? That always seemed weird to me. Not just that it only really works for this one robot, but also that it happens with your player character. I always thought it would work way better if you could name your kid instead, and have that also happen on a slightly larger scale. It's a step in solving one of the main problems in Fallout 4, which is that your family isn't very interesting or fun to care about.

You get to customize both Nate and Nora, and it just feels like a waste to have one of them killed off. If you could meet them and either work alongside or fight against them would have given the relationship so much more dynamism and also reward you for getting invested in your character's family, instead of all of them just being plot devices to deliver a bad twist about your son not being a baby and also the villain.

And you know, in isolation maybe those things don't seem like a problem. The cool thing about games is that you can largely ignore their plots and just engage with them on a mechanical level, but there's so much badgering that the story does to the player in Fallout 4. I've seen worse stories but Fallout 4's is the only one that will not leave me the fuck alone and keeps asking my opinions on things and people and places and factions that I simply don't care about.

When I say it's the worst story it's because it's hard to enjoy and even harder to ignore. It makes me not want to play the game, which no story in any game has ever done before. Which is a shame, because the game is absolutely worth playing but I can't be doing with this writing man.

#fallout #fallout 4 #bethesda #video games

[ao3commentoftheday]

i find myself lately frustrated with my writing; it feels like nothing i am producing is right....im not liking any of it, and its frustrating and sad because i used to really like it but dont know where stuff went wrong. im trying to take a break but its hard because trying to fill the times where im usually writing with something else makes me feel empty :/

I'm sorry you're going through all of this, anon. This feels like a lot to deal with.

In a situation like this, it can be helpful to look at each piece of the puzzle and see which one you're able to deal with right now and which ones you'll need to come back to later when you're up to it.

You're frustrated because it feels like nothing you're creating is right. The key here is figuring out what's wrong with it. Is it a story that you're not interested in anymore? Is there a plot point that you wrote out that you don't like anymore but it feels like a lot of work to go back and revise the story to take it out? Are characters feeling "off" in some way? Does it feel like it's missing something and you can't figure out what? Depending on your answers, the way to resolve this might be putting the story aside. But it might also be abandoning the story altogether or gutting it fairly significantly in order to keep the parts that you do like in order to get rid of the stuff that you don't.

You used to like it and you don't know where it went wrong. It might be that plot point issue I mentioned above, or it could be another factor. How are you feeling about the fandom in general? About your life external to fandom? Unhappiness in other areas of our lives can cause frustration in the places where we used to find happiness. Are you feeling sadness, frustration, and discontent about other things you used to enjoy? Do you have stresses in your life that might be affecting you? This one might require you to talk to someone about what's going on.

You're trying to take a break but it's hard. Fandom is a wonderful community full of joy and giving. But it's also a community where we can sometimes pressure ourselves too much. Sometimes taking a break can feel like you'll lose your audience - like they'll forget you when you're gone. Sometimes taking a break can make you feel guilty because all you can think about are the people who are waiting on the next story or the next chapter. When you're tired and frustrated and sad, you need to stop thinking about others and start focusing on yourself. There's no shame in needing a rest. Everyone does sometimes. And as for losing your audience, a lot of them will still be there when you return and the ones who left might be replaced by new people who will just be discovering your art.

You feel empty when you're not writing, so you can't think of another way to fill your time. What parts of writing fill you up? What about it gives you energy or inspiration or happiness? Is it the moments where you're imagining? The moments when you're crafting sentences? Is it the moments when you're talking to a friend about the next plot point or cackling over how people will react to your cliffhanger? Is it seeing kudos and comments come into your inbox? Seeing your fic get talked about on tumblr? Depending on what parts of writing satisfy a need inside of you, the way you fill that time will differ. If you need the creative outlet, doing something else creative like painting or baking or gardening etc. might help. If it's the parts surrounding friendships, then spending time doing things with people you care about might help. If it's about the attention you get from your fellow fans, look into some kind of performance outlet - either in person or via social media. Figure out what you need first and it'll be that much easier to get it.

You might only have to look at one of these items. You might need to consider them all. Either way, you can't really solve the problem until you figure out what it actually is.

It's been a long time since you sent this in, anon, and i'm so sorry for the delay. I hope you're in a better mental place now and that you're found your way to whatever your next joyful moment might be.

#asks and answers #long post

[will-o-the-witch]

Epistemology and Why It Matters for Witchcraft

Epistemology, as one of my professors articulated, is "the study of truth." It's the theory of knowledge, investigating what we consider to be fact/truth and how we decide what constitutes reality. The scope goes way beyond just spiritual/religious belief, but that's what I'll primarily be discussing here.

That's really vague and esoteric, so to give a more concrete example: think about Hell. To many folks, Hell is entirely fictional, just a theory used to scare people into submission. Others believe the existence of Hell is a cold hard fact. To them, taking steps to avoid going to Hell is a very real and legitimate thing to be concerned about, because that's a part of how they perceive reality. Both "sides" have equal conviction, because both consider their belief to be the truth. Epistemology asks why that is. How do we get two equally-strong, opposite beliefs?What makes people consider something opinion vs. fact? What makes people change their mind? How do we decide these ways of measuring "truth" are accurate? How do we decide what's accurate? This keeps going indefinitely. Don't give yourself an existential crisis over it.

A lot of arguments debates pop up in spiritual/religious communities when people butt heads with opposing beliefs, both considered fact by someone. Someone believes that intent is the only thing that matters when practicing witchcraft just as much as I believe that's bullshit. Both of us have our reasons why, also based on things we consider fact. We might even have the same beliefs backing our opinion, just arranged differently. Neither of us have any way to prove our belief is "true."

This is important to keep in mind for many things.

Interacting with the community in general. Is that person an idiot or are they just coming at it from a different perspective? Are you bothered because they're actually being rude, or because it's in conflict with your own beliefs?

Analyzing resources. What beliefs and assumptions does the author hold beyond the specific thing they're conveying here? How is it influencing their take? Is it congruent with how I believe the world works?

Analyzing yourself. What do I believe?How did I form these beliefs, what's behind them? Do I feel like I need to update anything? I'm allowed to decide I was "wrong" about something before. Are my actions in line with these beliefs, or holdovers from an old way of thinking?

Assessing the results of your craft. How do I measure when something was effective? How much faith and skepticism and I comfortable putting into the process? Am I coming to this from a perspective I consider balanced and rational?

It's honestly helpful for way more than just spiritual practices, but it's especially important when dealing with things as esoteric as, well, esotericism, mysticism, the occult, and spiritual practices. It may not be healthy to constantly question yourself and everything you know, but an occasional, compassionate check-in can really elevate a person's work. That's my belief, anyway! What's yours?

#witchcraft #occultism #unreality #tw just in case #epistemology

[goldiipond]

ray tpn is autistic and i'm gonna tell you why now

ray is one of the most heavily autistic-coded characters i can think of, and i've been wanting to write up a post going over as many of his autistic mannerisms as i can because there is a lot. this will probably be long because i am also autistic and i am especially autistic about ray, so please enjoy while i psychoanalyze this anime boy with way more scrutiny than anyone would consider healthy <3

body language

perhaps one of the strongest arguments for ray's autism can be made by looking at his body language. ray tries to keep a stoic, neutral expression and voice the majority of the time (though he's often quite. bad at that too) but he is always extremely expressive through his movements and gestures, the most noticeable of which being the use of his hands. pretty much every character uses hand gestures, but ray is ridiculously excessive. it'd take frankly way too long to compile every instance of this (or even half) throughout the manga, so here's a small collection of gestures from s1 of the anime to give an idea:

note that this is not even close to all of them and that he's exactly like this in the manga as well, though the animation and its use of snappy, exaggerated movements does help to make these much more noticeable.

moving away from his hands there's also just a lot of really expressive full-body language as well, such as this friendly chokehold:

this dramatic shrug:

and this even more dramatic flop:

just to name a few. basically, ray has a thing for grand unnecessary movements and no one is surprised.

poor emotional regulation and masking

as i mentioned before, ray tries really really hard to bottle up his emotions and keep a sort of stoic persona during his time at gracefield. he's also really really bad at doing this. not terrible, as he was able to keep up a believable enough front that none of the other kids saw anything odd about his behavior for 6 years, but that's also because he deals with so much more stress once the events of the escape arc actually get going. there is a stark difference between his quiet and detached demeanor while emma and norman are still in the dark about the house, and him nearly having a meltdown every time something strays from his meticulously crafted plans while they actually begin making their preparations to escape over the course of the arc.

just a few examples of this include him nearly having a breakdown when emma insists on taking everyone:

or one of my favorite anime exclusive moments where he strains his voice while yelling at isabella to the point he breaks into a coughing fit:

and it's not just big flashy meltdowns, but little bursts of anger as well. shoutout to this moment in particular where he launches this bucket with enough force to tear up a bit of the damn ground:

this emotional instability can be seen after the escape as well, the most glaring example being how he interacts with yuugo:

their dynamic in general really does a good job of showing ray’s mental state after the escape, because pre-goldy pond yuugo is An Asshole. and ray is so, so easy to piss off and quite frankly tired from bottling up his emotions for so long that every interaction with said asshole is a massive struggle to keep himself from physically attacking him.

as for the topic of masking, that’s what ray’s attempts to hide his emotions feel like to me. ray is constantly in danger of losing isabella’s trust, whether that be by revealing he may be a little more attached to the other kids than he lets on or by showing too much emotion that the other kids start to wonder what the hell’s going on. ray has to constantly hide and cover up his emotions with more palatable ones for others out of fear of looking out of place or being seriously hurt, and well if that doesn’t just describe autistic masking to a tee i don’t know what does.

maybe one of the things that gets me the most about that is that he's essentially been masking for about half of his life, and doing that for any extended period of time is extremely draining. ray has been drained to the point that he will have full meltdowns when put under any sort of stress and when you take into account the fact that he already has pretty severe anger issues as a result of his trauma, it's really no wonder he has such a short fuse.

lack of a filter when speaking

ray is a very blunt person. he speaks matter-of-factly and he wastes no time in getting straight to his point, sometimes with only a single sentence:

the way he talks is also pretty significant, as he generally has a more monotone way of speaking. he really only yells when he gets really worked up which like i said, happens a lot, but there’s almost no inbetween for him. pre-escape, he tries to show as little emotion in his voice as possible outside of his outbursts.

as for post-escape ray, he does seem to show much more emotion in the way he speaks. its a bit harder to judge, as nothing past the escape arc was ever adapted into the anime (s2 isnt real it cant hurt you) but his facial expressions become much more varied and it’s easy to say his vocal inflections likely do as well. however, what we can say for sure is that he remains just as blunt as ever:

no matter how comfortable he becomes with expressing himself, this aspect of his speech never seems to change.

while we’re on the topic of his speaking mannerisms please also direct your attention to these panels:

these need no explanation.

sensory issues. so many sensory issues

briefly moving back to the subject of ray’s hands, i couldn’t help but notice during my countless s1 rewatches that they are almost never just resting at his sides. if he's not using his hands for unnecessary gestures they are either shoved into his pockets, or he's crossing his arms. it's very likely his arms default to these positions because they offer a sort of sense of security, the former keeping his hands covered and the latter keeping him more closed off, almost like he's constantly hugging himself. basically, ray is a 'likes to feel covered and secure' autistic and if he was buried in weighted blankets he'd probably love it.

also tying into the ‘likes to feel covered’ aspect of ray’s autism is this scarf he acquires sometime during the volume 12 timeskip:

it’s a well known autistic thing to get attached to articles of clothing and wear them as much as possible, and boy does ray get attached to this scarf. i can count 2 post-timeskip scenes off the top of my head that have him not wearing this scarf, and the image on the right takes place a full 2 years after the left one in canon. he has no explicitly stated emotional attachment to this scarf and we don’t even know how he got it, just that he almost never takes it off. it could easily be seen as a comfort item, maybe he just likes the way the fabric feels or the extra coverage it offers him. there is post-canon content that depicts him without it, but the fact that he wore it almost nonstop for at least 2 years straight is still pretty significant.

another sensory thing i feel is worth mentioning is that ray seems to have a very specific tolerance threshold for physical contact. he seems fine initiating touch himself, and touches from emma and norman are generally alright, likely because they are the only people he has openly allowed himself to be close with his entire life. sudden touches from others however, are a different story. the one that immediately comes to mind is this interaction with don:

don in particular is someone ray becomes pretty close to, and i would say that besides the obvious growth with emma and norman, don is likely the person we see the most development with with in terms of their relationship. him having this reaction to a hug from someone he’s so close to seems indicative of some issues with unexpected contact.

and finally one of my absolute favorite things the anime added, which is ray experiencing what looks a lot like sensory overload:

this takes place right after the argument with isabella, which ended with him being knocked to the floor and locked up in a room by himself, so its needless to say that he’s pretty shaken up. he gets so overwhelmed that all he can do is yell and desperately reach for any sort of stimulation to keep him grounded, curling in on himself and aggressively ruffling up his hair. i genuinely cannot think of an allistic explanation for this scene.

and basically, he is just so autistic

all in all, theres some pretty damn solid evidence for ray being autistic and whether it was intentional or not, the sheer amount of autism-coding present in ray’s writing is almost impossible to ignore. i love some good projection but i don’t even need to do that much, hes just doing this all on his own. in conclusion:

#skye's ramblings #WELL. IT TOOK ABT AN ENTIRE DAY BUT HERE IT IS. READ MY ESSAY BOY #thank god for tublrs extended image limit am i right. had to switch to my laptop a third of the way through so it would let me add more <3 #and small shoutout to @fullscoreshenanigans for telling me how to make the gifs HGFGKJD #anywyay i had fun w this ray is so dear to me didyou know i love ray. ray #i am going to do something wild (putting a non-art post in the main tags) so hi tpn fandom i talk a lot. here's autism #the promised neverland #tpn #yakusoku no neverland #tpn ray

[squeaksinc]

2023 creative year in review! 💦💦

The most stand-out thing to mention was this was arguably my most active and productive cosplay year...maybe ever? its incredibly uncommon that I can handmake 9 costumes in a year, but on top of that, 7 of the 9 were also custom designs, which is pretty wild.

costume-wise, i learned a stupid amount of skills and really pushed what i was comfortable with. IMO the best from the year are the collector, knives, pupet, and nekomancer at least just from a craftsmanship perspective. I try not to brag or be an ass, but I am genuinely very proud of those. they posed fun creative challenges that kept me engaged, and I'm happy with how they turned out!

the other side of the coin is although last year was my most dormant cosplay year, other crafts were super active....and the reverse happened this year _(:3」∠)_ i didnt really draw much at all other than making cosplay designs, and other physical media didnt get much time to shine either. I made some plushies, but they were lackluster, and I think I made maybe one unfinished figure lol. but I did try BJD making and loved it!! I made 4 this year and have plans to do more haha.

thats the upbeat overview, the readmore is going to be a more negative perspective so proceed with caution haha.

More than anything I wish i had more time to do art and build up Stitch in The Ditch/more OC work, but honestly this year was also objectively insane in the non-creative front. like i hit the worst patch of chronic pain i've ever had/found out my abdominals have been ripping themselves apart and bleeding for the past 10 years lol/had to go to the hospital like THREE!!!! goddamn times and now i'm dealing with the news i'm going to need abdominal surgery, got a teaching promotion/award, got my physics masters, utterly INSANE family happenings, had gastroparesis for 2 months and couldnt eat more than 200 cal a day in that time which caused all my blood levels to crash and i'm still reeling from it, and of course, have just been Cashually working goddamn 60-80 hours a week in an experimental physics lab in the background during all of this which is driving me to the point of madness- suffice to say i hit my limit like months ago lmao.

like looking back i know i should be happy and proud i did so much but i cant help but feel disappointed and wishing i had done better quality stuff. honestly, i know i goof about how hard work is, but its really really getting to me. i've always been happy with my ability to juggle so many things and preserve my ability to have a cool job, make cool things, and independently take care of myself, but work is month-by-month morphing into more of a monster thats just been suffocating everything else out. I really dont know what next year will look like, as i've been wearing thinner and thinner i'm noticing a trend where I just dont have the energy that I used to to do anything outside of my job.

I bring this up because on paper I should be happy with what I made, but I still feel like im in a stand-still. I made a lot of costumes, but tbh they were low quality/lackluster. like the number went up, but the quality didnt and I couldnt do much of any other art things. I couldve, and shoulve, been able to make much better work this year than I did, but it didnt happen as a combo of being snuffed out by my job physically and mentally.

in 2023 I got a head start/built up momentum from the beginning of the year that carried me through when things got insane in spring/summer/currently, but I'm already starting 2024 from a low point. yall. im so tired. im so goddamn tired. like its funny to goof about how much I do but its catching up fast and i think this is going to be the year when I just cant keep up anymore. Its hard to talk about since the "being crushed to death by your job" topic isnt one people want to engage with, and unless you're experiencing it first hand its hard to understand what living like that really means.

for 2024, i know theres no way I will be able to match this same number of costumes, but my goal is no matter what I want to start making things that are more solid on a construction level. fewer projects, more polish. also doing more non-cosplay stuff like world building and dolls would also be awesome. will that happen??? lord only knows. honestly usually these predictions/goals go haywire but this is also more of a response to external things outside of my control so ???? ??????? we'll see lads

[slashingdisneypasta]

I know nothing about the DmD trio other than from your blog... But you already know how in love with the Tinman I am XD I had to send an ask for my random few thoughts.

- please- indulge me for a moment. You know that ship dynamic of the gentle giant and the overprotective short stack? That's what I've been imagining with Tinny. Him getting an S/O who is smaller than him (though that wouldn't be hard, I guess XD), but I will absolutely throw hands on his behalf. If he could without hurting them, he could pick them up and set them aside before dealing with the danger himself. Because he'll fight for them too ^^ (Also made me think; If Scarcrow got a Tinman's second in command!S/O and Lion has a Scarecrows assistant!S/O, what if Tinny got a Lions best warriors!S/O? Assuming he has his own army. Or someone associated with Lion?)

- TINMAN FEELING SO GUILTY WHEN HE ACCIDENTALLY CUTS YOU AND APOLOGIZING SO PROFUSELY, EXPECTING YOU TO YELL AT HIM LIKE DOROTHY, ONLY FOR YOU TO ASSURE HIM THAT YOU KNEW HE DIDNT MEAN IT 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

- In general; Tinny knowing what it's like to be loved through you ^^ and just- realizing he's no longer in an abusive relationship the longer you two are together 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 you don't yell and insult him, you don't order anything from him, and you never expect him to commit terrible crimes for you. You just want your lovely tin man <3

- Imagine taking in interest in his crafting hobby and sitting with him, or even asking him to teach you! Even if you just want to enjoy his company and have no desire for metal bending, Tinny will be so so so happy and elated to have you here with him ^^

- KISSING TIN!!!!! Holding his cold, metal face delicately while rubbing a thumb along his cheek, maybe brushing against his sharp overbite, your guys' eyes filled with love for each other before you lean in and carefully press your lips against his needle like teeth and lips??? SIGN ME UP! 📃📃📃📃📃

- TIN BEING TOUCH STARVED TIN BEING TOUCH STARCED TIN BEING TOUCH STARVED-

(.... Uh... *cough* I'm not sure if Tinny still has the ~equipment~ or the ~desire~, but you can try to grind on a smooth part of him, or convince him to get extensions. I'm certain he'll want to make happy in bed as well 😏 ok bye-)

- hm... Ngl I'm already wondering what a Yan!DmD!Tinny would be like... I have no self control 😅 of course you know his character more than me, but I like the idea that if he truly went full yandere mode, completely love struck with someone more hopelessly than with Dorothy, he would be more persistent in gaining their affections. It feels like with Dorothy that he'll try something with her, she'll hurt him, and he'll give her some space before trying again. And was slowly realizing that she didn't love him, before Glinda stepped in. But he still hasn't given up. Can you imagine how amplified that'd be if he were yandere?? Maybe even fully deluded that you'll love him instead of just listening to what others tell him? 🤔 what do you think? If you want to comment.

All I've got for now XD as you can see, in my mind, we're already married, live in a cottage in the woods, and are raising three robot children that we built togetger XD (omg this is another example of us falling in love with partner characters(?) You have Scarecrow, and I have Tin... It sounds like we might share Lion though XD) I hope these make you smile! ^^

THIS MADE ME COMBUST.

C OM B U S T.

I- HMMMMMM *BUZZING FROM EXCITEMENT* WHERE DO I EVEN START-

Okay first of all OMG YES!! It is another Norman/Wayne / Psycho/Greasy / Granny/Big Bad kinda situation!! 🤣🤣🤣 I love this, I love that we do this XD YESS Lion is like Wheezy, we both love him and need to appreciate him more XD

And second of all- YES! TIN MAN IS GONNA GET A FIC WHERE HIS S/O IS CLOSE TO THE LION! THAT WAS THE PLAN FROM THE START! XD I love sympatry.

Okay okay okay now onto your actual points- I must take a deep breath first XD

... hoo, okay. Let go.

Gentle Giant/Over Protective Short Stack: Yessss 🥺🥺🥺 Oh boy, does he need it. He needs someone who will CROSS the throne room the millisecond that Dorothy crosses the line and curse at her like a sailor like how DARE you!?- And that second part?? Tin picking his crazy small S/O up (Very carefully, with those fingers of his) and placing them somewhere to the side (Maybe into the arms of one of his tin soldiers- yes, he has entire army fully at his command. They're tin/biology hybrids frankensteined together by Scare) before Dealing with the situation himself. I can see it so clearly it is making my heart ache. Tin scooping you up, saying 'thank you, spring blossom (he'd use all sortsa cringy cute names like that genuinely XD ), but please, please let me handle this for you. The last thing we want is for you to be hurt', and carefully passing you off to another soldier he trusts. He carefully pushes some of your hair behind your ear, then turns back to the threat; straightens up to his f u l l building-like height, and takes care of shit. And the whole time, he wouldn't let even one piece of whoever he's Taking Care Of to hit you (The man is THOROUGH).

Tin Accidentally Hurting S/O:

He was on his knees, again. You told him a million times he doesn't need to do that, but the sweet, dramatic man just cant help himself. And honestly? You don't mind it, actually- You can kiss him and fluster him a lot easier this way. But this time?? This time he was on his knees profusely apologising. And you couldn't take it!! There was no need!! He just accidentally sliced you across the cheek with one of his fingers- he didn't mean to, and you both know it! You hear Dorothy give a snigger from her throne nearby, baring witness to this. You also see the Scarecrow drops his head backwards and sigh heavily at the display- but you don't care about Tin's so-called friends. You care about Tin. You take Tin's big metal head in your hands. " -so sorry. I don't know what came over me, I can do better. I would never, ever fetter your perfect skin on purpose- " "I know, I know." Instead of insisting he don't be silly and he cant help it sometimes!!, which is what you want to do!, you focus on calming him. Because everyone is watching, and he's probably mortified. You just want him to be okay. "Please Tin, its fine. Everyone knows you wouldn't hurt me on purpose." There's a hint of panic in his voice when he speaks next, a little quieter; following your lead and acting as if its just you two, here. Just him, and you. Safe. "Someone might think they could care for you better then me." "Doesn't matter." You whisper. "I know, they couldn't."

Having a Healthy Relationship with Tin: My heart <3 Yes! I can see him struggling with that- even before Dorothy went bad he was willing to give her anything. But imagine any time he offers you something, you're like 'oh that sounds nice! good idea Tin! lets do it together ^^' and leading him off before he can protest. And he s l o w l y starts to feel so so comfortable with you <3<3

"Moon flower, could I get you a drink?" "Oh yeah, I'd love one! Thank you! ^^ Lets go, and we'll get you some oil as well, love." *connecting arms and towing him towards the kitchens* *Eyes wide* "Oh- but I'm fin- " "I can hear you squeaking. Lets go!~ " *gentle voice* "You don't need to worry about me, my love." "No, I don't need to, but I don't mind." *pats his arm gently*

Crafting Together: WAHHHHHHHH, JUST IMAGINING SITTING THERE NEXT TO HIM WATCHING IN UTTER ADORATION AND AWE AND HE DOESNT EVEN NOTICE, JUST ENJOYS TELLING YOU ABOUT HIS THING, UNTIL LATER LION MENTIONS HE SAW YOU HIM AND 'YOUR LADY FRIEND LOOKED BESOTTED, OLD FRIEND'

Kissing, Affection & Sex: Yes yes yes kissing Tin <3<3<3 Oh my goodness. Cupping his large face and stroking his cheeks, leaving feather-light kisses all over his smooth metal cheeks and underbite, gently scraping your nails down his chest or any other smooth part of him and he SHUDDERS (I don't know how physical feeling works for him, especially since Scare was able to pop open his chest and enhance his heart without Tin feeling a thing but when Amy sliced it open it hurt him, but I don't care. It works. It is all in working order because I say so XD), curling your fingers between tangled springs and wires and hearing him gasp, kissing the side of his pointy nose, absentmindedly and gently sliding your finger along the dull side of each of his fingers, etc. Him stroking the dull side of his pointer fingers under your chin when he wants you to look up so he can see your pretty face, him being afraid to touch you or kiss you himself but asking you to touch/kiss him, him raising his hips or his leg (Or wherever you've deemed it safe to rub yourself) in an effort to make it feel better for you- aghhhhh XD I'm not okay XD

And- EXTENSIONS?? Omg yes he would absolutely do that for his S/O XD You wouldn't even have to ask man!! He'd anticipate it, once you two actually got together!! XDD But like, the thing thats getting me here?? SCARECROW IS THE ONE WHO'LL HAVE TO MAKE THOSE ADJUSTMENTS XDD

"I'm sorry, uh, old friend, let me just... let me see if I fully understand. You want to...? " "I want to make some necessary improvements to my body for the sake of my human love's pleasure. At night." "... uhuh. And that means?" "I would like to be fitted with the tool's a human man has, or something better, for- " *impatient with Tin's awkward pussy footing* "Are you asking me to attach a Dick to you, Tin Woodman!???" "... Yes. Will you do it?" "... Fine... For Science."

Yandere Tin Woodman!!!!!: Oooooookay. I'm struggling to gather my thoughts here XD To an extent, I think Woody is actually already kindof Yandere XD I mean, before Dorothy even shows her 'true colours' herself, he's doing some not-so-above-board things for her. Like forcing his people (The Winky's) to walk for days non stop to the Emerald palace to be her army. And then, when she seems displeased, letting Scarecrow do what he wants with them (He's shocked when he finds out WHAT Scare did with them, which was Frankenstein them of course (which killed a good portion of them before he got the procedure Right), but he was miraculously easy to convince that it was a good idea when Scare and Glinda said Dorothy would like it). As well as letting Scarecrow adjust Tin's own heart with magic For Dorothy. So... yeah, to an extent, Tin is already obsessed with getting her to like him. But if he was All The Way Yandere like you're thinking... oh boy.

There would be no getting away. Remember how he's got a whole army at his disposal?? And d u n g e o n s??? 👀 Yeah. He'd be like 'I know you don't love me yet, and it is painful my sunlit dandelion, but you will eventually. You'll fall for me, eventually'.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK!! Aghhhh, you're really enabling me here XD

#i was about to do a horror villain thing when i saw this!... thats been thrown out the window now- XD

[johaerys-writes]

15 questions for 15 friends

I was tagged by my dear @elveny, thank you so much!! 💙

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?: No! Well, yes, after a character in Greek mythology, but not after a parent or grandparent or anything like that.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: Yesterday. I was reading the Iliad again for an anon ask and was going through the part where Achilles kills Hector and oooh that scene got hands 🥲 I cry a lot though, I'm a crier, and a lot of the time it's about patrochilles so it's par for the course really lol

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?: Nope.

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?: I'm fairly active generally but I don't play sports at all because I don't like them. I tried several sports while in school before accepting that I simply don't like team sports and I'm not good at them, but I had much more fun with solo sports. I swam for several years somewhat competitively, and I also did track for a while. 

DO YOU USE SARCASM?: I think so? But usually only with people I'm very comfortable with, because I can never know what would go down well or not with a person I don’t know. 

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?: That’s hard to answer because I feel like it depends on the situation. Most of the time, it's body language and their general vibe. Meeting new people can be nerve wracking so I try to "read" them and act accordingly, if that makes sense? I don't want to step on any toes or say the wrong thing so figuring out what the other person's mood or interests might be usually helps. But that often means I miss out on other things on first encounter, like... their eyes or smile or something?? Lol idk man, socialising while on the spectrum is hard 🥲

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?: Brown.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?: I think I'll pick scary movies because I do like horror and dark stuff and I don't care if the ending is happy or not as long the story is interesting. 

ANY TALENTS?: it took me so long to think of something for this and I honestly don't know? I'm assuming by 'talents' we mean something you're born with, not something you've worked hard at like some kind of craft, right? In that case, I think I have pretty good visual memory, especially when it comes to books and articles and such, or the written word in general. Oh and I'm weirdly good at orientation, I can usually find my way no matter where I am. Which isn't such a huge deal now in the era of google maps, but back when there was no gps it was a pretty useful skill to have haha. 

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?: Greece.

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?: Writing, reading, gaming, crocheting, drawing, going to museums! I'm constantly on the look out for new exhibitions and stuff, it's my favourite thing in the world to do. 

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?: A darling and dastardly cat, aka my extension when I'm at home. 

HOW TALL ARE YOU?: 1,68m

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?: Oh god I freaking hated school, absolutely hated it LOL I can't think of one thing I liked in it. I guess I only enjoyed the very last year of high school when I was preparing for the Panhellenic exams because like... it felt like there was finally some kind of purpose or reason to be there at all, even though there was a lot of pressure. I loved Ancient Greek, Latin, History and Philosophy. 

DREAM JOB?: I don't have one, I don’t dream of labour 🙃 I don't think there's any sort of job anyone could do in this capitalist hellscape we're all currently living in that would be enjoyable enough to make up for, well... living in a capitalist hellscape lol. If I could, I'd just go back to uni, probably. That was my happy place and I miss it. And I'd also write a bunch and read a bunch and take up all sorts of creative hobbies, and probably travel more. 

Tagging forth to a bit more than 15 friends lol sorry (and I know I'm forgetting ppl): @baejax-the-great @thiefylilelf @vimlos @mogwaei @gloriesunsung @aymayzing @cordelia---rose @knicknocknick @aristi-achaion @peachandfig @heypax @darlingpoppet @tevivinter @mary-aries @tragediegh @pikapeppa @figsandphiltatos always with love and without any pressure 💕

#tag meme

[jollyinha]

50 (+3) Facts About My Rook Listener (aka Félix)!

Because I love him in a hiperfocus kind of way 😭💙 If you want to see how he looks like, go to my yuurivoice tag, and you will find all my listeners! Although I probably should make an updated version, he has gotten a 2.0 version ever since... Also, tagging @itsargyle since they suggested taking other YV fans! I'm... Too shy to tag anyone else tho lmao

Anyway, here goes my big infodump on my favorite sunshine boy:

1 - Hey, I'm Félix Torres... Or not, because that's my middle name, and my actual name is Victor. But I'm not that fond of Victor, so I go by Félix!

2 - Victor was my mom's grandpa's name, and Félix is a tribute to my dad, whose name was Feliciano.

3 - Thanks to the acute accent, the correct pronunciation of Félix would be "feh-liks", not "fee-liks". Oh, and the "c" in Victor is mute. It's Vitor. But sometimes even I forget that it isn't supposed to be spelled like the gringos do, haha!

4 - My mom is Brazilian and my dad was Colombian. I was born in Brazil (Aracaju in Sergipe, to be more specific), but have been living in the USA for most of my life now. I used to spend the holidays in Colombia as a kid, but haven't been there ever since dad passed away... I really should pay it a visit again soon, though. It's a real nice country.

5 - I speak native Portuguese, fluent English and intermediary Spanish. I've been studying ASL (as of right now I just know basic stuff like "hi", "how are you?", how to introduce myself... But hey, at least I know the whole alphabet off the top of my head!) and French too, but it has been hard to find some free time... And when I do have it, I always end up drawing, crafting, cooking... Duolingo's owl wants to eat my ass.

6 - Speaking of which, these are my favorite hobbies! Drawing and painting are main passions in life, though. I've been in love with art as far as I can remember. I was in a few-years-long hiatus when it came to painting, only came back to it recently, but have been drawing non-stop ever since I was a little boy!

7 - When it comes to crafting, I enjoy many aspects of it... I've been really into papercraft these days. Origami, paper dolls, collages... But I also really like jewelry making and fabric painting (even if I find it so damn hard, haha!). I just love personalizing things in general. Sometimes, I see a piece of furniture, have an idea and just have to put my personal touch.

8 - I also know how to sew, but I can't say that I'm a big fan. I've tried crochet once, per example, and almost fell asleep on the couch. It's just a bit boring to me... But I'll gladly sew back a button or fix a hole if you ask nicely!

9 - And, last but not least, I love cooking! Not as much as I love to eat, but anyway. I picked up cooking as a way to deal with my pyrophobia and to bond with my uncle (he owns a restaurant!), and really took a liking to it... And modesty aside, I'm damn good at it!

10 - Speaking of which... I'm a bit of a bottomless pit when it comes to food! I'll eat (mostly) anything, am willing to try (mostly) everything and am hungry 24/7. Please, feed me.

11 - My favorite food is kind of specific, but: I love Thanksgiving pies. And breakfast foods. But anything that's chicken or has corn is also very damn good.

12 - I don't really like fruits. Most of them feel either bland (apples taste like NOTHING!) or straight up gross. I hate, HATE peach. Mango, guaba and pineapple too. Disgusting. I'm team vegetables all the way. Lemon and watermelon are the only ones that get a pass.

13 - My favorite ice cream favorite is chocomint!

14 - When it comes to drinks... I like coffee, as long as it has milk and unholy amounts of sugar (hate bitter coffee, as contradictory as it is). And while I'm not too big on alcoholic drinks, I like champagne.

15 - I also like biking, but, much like studying ASL and French, I don't have enough free time nowadays to really get into it again... But I try to bike every weekend I can!

16 - As a kid, I was in singing classes! I really enjoyed it and was pretty decent at it, but nowadays I do it just for fun. Love singing and listening to music around the house while doing other things.

17 - I have eight tattoos on total: Flower sleeves on both arms (featuring a clock among the flowers on the left arm and a bird on the right), music player symbols on the left side of my chest, "keep going" on the right side, an anchor on my upper back, a sun and a crescent moon on my lower back, a sea monster's tentacles going through my right hip and a paper plane on my left ankle!

18 - I also have a bunch of moles. On my face, on my back and on my chest. I used to be embarrassed by them, but nowadays, not nearly as much.

19 - I have been dyeing my hair blonde ever since college. I'm actually a brunette! I like being a blondie, but I'm considering going back to my roots... My hair is screaming for help. [He goes back to being a brunette and lets his hair grow after the events of Escape]

20 - Oh yeah, speaking of college... I have a Law degree. And am working on this field. Ya-hoo... Unfortunately, I needed a more lucrative career to support my family. But my long-term life goal is to be able to quit and live from art! And I like to believe I'm almost there.

21 - I pierced my ears in college too! I usually only wear my lucky sun earrings, but if I'm feeling fancy, I can go with a larger one.

22 - I considered becoming an English major for a while, but didn't happen either.

23 - I have a weird love for plaid jackets (of any color, but especially blue ones) and grungy bracelets. If you wanna give me anything that's wearable, going with either of these is the safest bet! Can't ever have enough of these!

24 - My favorite animals are octopuses (I had an obsession with sea monsters as a kid and this love never really died) and peacocks (they're just awesome)!

25 - My lucky number is sixteen, because my birthday is on February 16th, and because if you put "Félix Victor" together, there's a sixteen in Roman numerals right in the middle: XVI!

26 - Also, I'm 30 as of 2024, and... It's terrifying, to be honest. Buuut I'll find comfort on the fact that I look like I'm 20, hehe.

27 - This one will be hard to explain, but... I really like the sun. From summer to sunflowers to sun imageries... I like the sun. And all because of my dad. It's a long history, but yeah.

28 - I have a younger sister, her name is Alice! She's in college right now, she's History major! And... She's my pride and joy.

29 - And I also have five younger cousins: Ariel, Rafael, Leon, Joyce and Mercedes! I love them all, they're like my siblings. [Joyce is actually my Sunflower listener!]

30 - I... Have a... Weird relationship with my mom. It has been getting worse these last few years... Ah, nevermind, I shouldn't have brought this up.

31 - I had three relationships in my life... Well, three and a half, if you count that high school fling, but I digress: My first boyfriend lasted, like, half a year of my freshman year in college. It was nice, we just realized quickly that neither of us were serious. And my second boyfriend... Ergh. Tristan. We began dating in my junior year, and had a pretty messy break-up right after my graduation...

32 - ...But, nearly a whole decade after that, he sent me a DM on Instagram asking me how I was, and I mistakenly thought he became a decent human being. Hell, he was the one who got me my current job. He works in the Marketing department and was kind enough to tell me that Legal was hiring. I thought that we could at least be friends again, but... He's still a pain in the ass, at the end of the day. And still wants me back. ERGH...

33 - ...But, actually, I should thank him for that. Ironically, by trying to get back with me, he got me my third and current boyfriend... And... I won't talk too much about our relationship, but... This is the happiest I've ever been with someone. I mean it.

34 - Ok, how do I say this? I... Have been told that I... Have a pretty high libido. Or, if you want to be meaner, I'm a horny bastard. I... Will not elaborate if that's true or not. [It Is Literally Canonical]

35 - But even if I WAS a horny bastard, I'm a romantic at heart, believe it or not! I like being swept off my feet! I like flowers! I like cheesy pick-up lines! I like cuddles, god, I really like cuddles... Anyway.

36 - I'm a petite lil' guy. I'm 1m69cm tall... Or 5'8ft.

37 - I have ADHD. I was diagnosed when I was 20. I've been taking meds to help with my lack of focus, and it really has been helping.

38 - I also have insomnia. It isn't as bad as it was a few years ago, but it still sucks.

39 - My favorite song of all time is "Don't Stop (Color on the Walls)" by Foster The People!

40 - My favorite movie of all time... It's a tie between Footloose and Burlesque.

41 - My favorite animated movie of all time is Ponyo!

42 - My MBTI is ENFP, my Enneagram is 2w3, and I'm an Aquarius!

43 - In my opinion, my biggest strengths as a person are that I'm pretty charming, I can get along with nearly any kind of person (given enough time), and that I'm notoriously hard to piss off. As long as you're not messing with my loved ones, it takes A LOT to make me actually angry.

44 - And my weaknesses... Well, I let people get away with stepping all over me pretty frequently... And I'm very restless. And I don't mean only physically, I mean like... Mentally. I feel like I'm a shark: If I stop moving, I'll die, y’know? Oh, I've been told that I can be pretty shameless and a bit nosy... And, welp. I... Can't really deny that.

45 - I hate the cold. I hate winter. I hate snow. Fuck you, northern hemisphere.

46 - I really like sitting on the floor, ever since I was a little boy. It just... Grounds me. No pun intended.

47 - My favorite color is blue, but yellow and orange are also lovely... And I've been getting real fond of red these days. Hehe (Can't believe that it took me this long to say my favorite color, we're on fact 47th...).

48 - I'm a dog person! I never got to have one, though...

49 - I, not-so-secretly, really like cute things. I may or may not have a big octopus plushie on my bed. And may or may not love Pompompurin and Gudetama.

50 - I'm overall pretty confident on my looks... Except for my smile and my laugh. My ex-boyfriend (Tristan) once said that my smile is wide enough to be scary, and my mom said that my laugh is too loud, and I've been restraining myself from truly smiling and laughing out loud in public ever since. But I tend to let go when near people I trust.

51 (bonus!) - I have a very sensitive neck... Now, if I see it as a good thing or a bad thing... Depends on what your intentions are... If you know what I mean.

52 (bonus!)² - I'm also pretty great at typing. My words per minute game is insane, modesty aside.

53 (bonus!)³ - I... Can be a little bit jealous when I'm dating someone. I was never a pain in the ass about it, I mostly just sulk in silence, but... Yeah. It's my toxic trait.

#yuurivoice #yuurivoice listener #yuurivoice auron #auron yuurivouce #yuurivoice rook #felix (rookie)

[fakestype]

Godfather is Seiya Hidaka tinfoil hat theory

Every I know is sleeping or working so I need to be unhinged I'm so sorry those are copy pasting from discord and my crazy antics about Gatekeeper and my tinfoil hat theories.

There's this thing with Priest and Gatekeeper that the two of them are both extremes of Godfather who was the middleground and was their God

And both see this part in one another and have a hard time dealing with that.

For Priest, he sees Gatekeeper as the part of Godfather he saw as a God who was so powerful and could do anything, have an impeccable routine while I picture Priest, described as very emotional, as basically a Mayoi amped to the 1000 as in like. Self hatred and hiding in one's shadows. Never being himself. He can't see himself as useful in anything but imitating someone else's excellence without ever reaching it. Gatekeeper is excellence in what he does and he sees this, but without the warmth and passion.

Gatekeeper sees Priest and sees the abhorrent part of Godfather, the disease he sees in everyone, without the backbone to make anything of it. He says it that it is like kind of pitifully common to him.

However, Gatekeeper is not in tune with emotions and how he feels about them when faced with people, there's something about Priest's passion that perhaps touch him but he cannot look up to it because it does not fit his excellence requirement.

They both see their God in each others without Him being there, and there is only grief.

Gatekeeper has grieved from what I see, while Priest has not, he can't, he's inconsolable.

We may not know a lot about Priest but pull out the legendary chart again

So there's Priest who's an orphan and is like I cannot do anything but mimick greatness I cannot be in the light and be the God and is just super emotional altogether

but then when God dies he literally takes place of said God

Then there's the God, the Ultimate Prodigy Super Idol

But then I'm like… man like some things just make me AAAAAA like there's something about Godfather looking at foster kids and being "Yes good" or himself just crafting his own biological kids to basically be like foster kids

Having no parents at all and be neglected in every direction Subaru is def a parallel to Apostle I can't just. Some places I feel like I'm lacking a thread I need to read more Enstars istg.

Because the entire Eichi Godfather Subaru Apostle parallel is to me like the light baby version of the crunchier dark af other parallel I'm trying to make

Because you got this thing with Negi/Hitsugi being rejected by Priest, their biological father, and then Gatekeeper helping them out and they are grateful to him. Like why would. Gatekeeper do that. WHy would he bring Negi back.

Is it just emotional. Is it for something else.

Is Negi going to be the next Apostle Priest want to bring back "trying to fulfill Godfather’s goal and to bring “Apostle” back into the light, without being fully aware that he is actually destroying it instead"

I am thinking before sending messages but I can also put in my thought like I have missing pieces that keep being shown as the story goes and I'm like AAAAAAAAAAAAAA because we do not know Godfather's last wish, not really like he wants a super idol that will transcend everything and I think it's kind of a torture porn situation where you ascend beyond humanity by being the embodiment of the art without any human quality which is like holy fuck ok which is to me why SS and just everything tries to break the people who tries to be idols or are idols to bring them to that potential and I can hahaha see why Gatekeeper a sadist who was probably a serial killer I believe before he was found by Godfather or some shit like that he's Patrick Bateman let's be honest Went

Maybe he did. Maybe he's just really sadist and not serial killer actually but like. HOnestly given Enstars. I'm here for the serial killer backstory before being an assassin. It'd be sooooo fucking extra of Enstars. because Gatekeeper was first and foremost like Nagisa said he was utterly terrifying, he was the limbs of Godfather and as I quote Nagisa he was here to destroy every obstacle in the shadow and Godfather is here like he sacrificed idols for to elevate the ones he loved most. And Nagisa goes on how brutal it was. Atop of everyone's reaction to Gatekeeper especially Hiiro. Ok 100% Gatekeeper killed again and again and again for Godfather. Now did he do it before. I feel like Godfather wouldn't hire him if he did not do it before. Like see him, saw it was only murder in this man's eyes, and be like "You're hired." He's too unhinged to not pick an actual serial killer. Like if you keep a rando sadist chances are he will leave evidence when killing for you you don't want that. So back at the chart I see parallels upon parallels of Godfather, Priest and Apostle and I'm like where are the Gatekeeper I blinked and I go "… is it Ibara?" Because we got what I feel is like Godfather era: the R-rated story The Godfather aftermath era whatever the fuck happened with his children: the PG-16 story Reimei era: the PG-13 story Yumenosaki: the PG story

And there's always a God figure someone who worships and want that for themselves while just not being able to achieve it, someone cold and calculated to elevate it, and that impostor syndrome and doppleganger idk what to call it twin ass stuff Which is kinda crazy because you can see the influence of Godfather in the current units we have, like what was nurtured through the generations came out as parallel units to it Eden: from Godfather's child to attempt at "grooming" one kid to be that human-less idol… but because it is Eden, Adam (Nagisa and Ibara who had the qualities to be inhuman) failed because of Eve (Hiyori and Jun who just were good friends) Ryuseitai: That hero syndrome of saving the world of idols 2wink: That fuckin impostor weird ass shit of I'm me I'm you who are we we're suicidal UNDEAD: the legacy that never dies fine: it's the cryptid ass beings holding the paradise in the search of their god (the super idol they want) Trickstar: Honestly so far I just think Trickstar is like, the innocence of it all, because the basis of that idolation is a search for innocence, and Trickstar is it, Trickstar winning in ! is how a jaded system found back its innocence and joy of life MaM: it's Madara going "what the fuck is going on AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" I'm thinking way too hard about this. I feel like if I do that for every other unit remaining it will be a flimsier parallel but I do think it's there

basically where are the Gatekeepers between R-rated and PG what the fuck are they doing I feel like a plotwist one day will be that Madara's parents are somewhere in that chart they're mentioned too often and fucked up as hell I'm going insane but I love that asshole

There's also the like… is Madara the parallel? Is the only other guy who wants to be the bloodied limbs of someone else but also who is it… Leo? Like because Leo is a genius who's about to "not be human" because he's a genius so it's always those figures who are prodigies who are elevated during the search of the real celestial god or am I going too far with that

Then there's like Double Face… which I think Godfather def wanted to do with… somebody… I kinda wanna say Apostle, but idk if Madara made Double Face in the way he knew Godfather wanted it to be. Because idk if Godfather would do illegal shit with Akehoshi who died not wanting to compromise his morals.

And then we talk about the illegitimate and adoption line but NEVER THE OFFICIAL ONE LIKE WHERE IS IT THERE'S TOJO AND THE NKANAME AND HIMERU BUT LIKE… DETAILS????

if anything we know more about the Tojo mothers the dad is a total mystery, did the dad have siblings who was his mom

also conspiracy theory Godfather felt betrayed Akehoshi got a family and a wife, which pushed him away from being a brilliant inhuman idol and more of a human so he orchestrated his death, hoped he'd take his help while in custody to be indebted to him and have him under his control because he loved him so much but he did not take it and died and thus Godfather is unconsolable because he killed the one he loved.

ngl if they say that Godfather#2 is Seiya i'm gonna die (taking that out of my ass but funny thought)

Seiya being so close to Ibara and seeing Ibara as the future of the generation when he's. You know. Evil mastermind. Tales of Antique mentioning their interests align. Seiya being WEIRD AF WITH SUBARU. Akehoshi and Seiya's past. Tales of Antiques AGAIN mentioning how Akehoshi's death deeply affected it so he took an "Idol Robot" persona to protect himself WHICH FITS THE WAY HIMERU DOES KANAME NOW THAT I READ OBBLIGATO WHICH WOULD FIT ABOUT THE REAL SEIYA DYING AND PRIEST TAKING HIS PLACE ALSO THIS DESIGN FOR A FACE IS JUST EVIL IT'S SHARP ALL OVER.I KNOW DESIGN

IT'S VOICED BY MOTHERFUCKING SHINICHIRO MIKI AND THERE'S BASICALLY NOTHING DONE WITH THAT LEVEL OF TALENT AND SEIYA UNLIKE ANY OTHER RELATIVE OF THE CHARACTERS HAS A PORTRAIT, A VOICE, HE HAS A PRESENCE WHEN HE BASICALLY DOES NOTHING BUT SAY "HEY GUYS IM HOKUTO'S DAD" WHY WOULD HE HAVE ALL THIS OF THIS QUALITY WITH NOTHING DONE WITH YET―THATS BECAUSE HE'S GODFATHER GDI.

"Do your best to follow in my footsteps and become model prisoners of idol jail ♪"

I'm going insane. Maths (homework) turned me insane.

forgot to add Hokuto not seeing Seiya during his childhood the neglect is here it fits Seiya being a Super Idol. Now "why does no one identify Seiya as Godfather then uh genius" WELL WHY DOESN'T ANYONE KNOW ABOUT THE YUMENOSAKI WAR UH HIDE THE EVIDENCE ITS THAT EASY. Me: I won't invest so much into Enstars lore and theory I'll just chill with my bois I need to tellmyself it is impossible

This started out with me looking up initially for parallels Apostle - Godfather and I was like who's Godfather for Subaru… sure Eichi is at the helm of the system but he does NOT see Subaru like THAT (it's Wataru for him) then I was like … Hokuto? and I was like Hokuto Subaru is PG version… wait

#ensemble stars #seiya hidaka #gatekeeper (enstars) #priest (enstars) #subaru akehoshi #I'm dying Im putting this on general tags #.fakestype ( headcanon ) #long post tw

[ettawritesnstudies]

You look like a really happy and supportive person, do you have any tips about dealing with resentment esp. against other writers? It's something I'm noticing a lot in the community and other spaces I participate. Everybody treats it like it's righteous anger but it feels toxic. The moment they see someone thriving, the person gets hate mail and someone finds an excuse to bring them down. I guess people have reason to be hurt because everything feels hard and unfair right now. I'm also from a fucked-up third world country, I'm queer, my life feels stuck where it was before the pandemic, I can't get a job and I worry what it'll be like for me 10 years from now. But I kept saying to myself it wasn't so bad because it's really worse for so many people where I live and I tried to be upbeat... But then I saw a writer I know irl get published and I noticed I was feeling and thinking the same way those people I disliked act online. Angry at them for getting published when I don't have the skill or the luck for it. What do we do when that happens? Sorry if this is a pessimistic ask

Hey anon,

First of all, I'm really really sorry you're going through that, it sounds like a bad situation and I hope you can find some peace and stability soon. If it means anything, I'll be praying for you. <3 <3 <3

It's really hard to keep a positive outlook on things when other things in your life aren't working out. As you said, everything feels hard and unfair right now and you can't be blamed for feeling pessimistic and bitter about the way things are going for you. It's easy for me to act cheery because I'm blessed to be in a good situation with a good support network, and I'm aware that's something a lot of people don't have. You're incredibly strong for dealing with this and I'm proud of you for both surviving and trying not to let this bitterness affect the way you interact with the writing community. That's a testament to your good character and you're someone I'd like to have as a friend.

I think the biggest thing that's helped me not get bitter about other people's success is the "Holy shit, two cakes!" mindset.

I think this was made by @stuffman originally if "know your meme" tells true.

Life is a dessert table. Some people don't even like cake - some people are bringing brownies, cookies, tortes, pastries, jello puddings, fruit baskets, or whatever else suits their fancy. Chocolate cake ain't the same as lemon no matter which way you slice it.

Other writers aren't competition - everyone has their own voice and themes and stories to bring to the table. At the end of the day, I'm not trying to win over romance and grimdark true crime readers, and even within my own genre, if people like reading similar stories then they'll probably enjoy mine. A while ago I looked for comp titles to runaways and found a bunch of books that lit up all the same keywords with "sisters", "changelings," "seelie and unseelie courts", but they were nothing like the story I was trying to tell. I loved them all the same. Your words are important and meaningful and I hope this discouragement doesn't keep you from practicing your craft.

As far as publishing luck and money and time and skill goes: yeah the industry kind of sucks right now, there's no changing that. It might suck that you're not published yet, but hold onto that "yet". It's important. Hope keeps you striving, even if progress is stagnating at the moment. It's served me well through so many semesters slogging through engineering school when I didn't put a word to paper in months.

Helping other people can a tactical decision. I'm not published yet, nowhere near it. I started this tumblr (and the rest of my platform) for the sake of marketing and networking. One could argue I chat with the likes of @ashen-crest, @abalonetea, and @author-a-holmes for purely selfish reasons - if I help them out, hopefully they'll help me when the time comes. Maybe that's how it starts sometimes, but over time those connections become friendships so easily when people just want to tell stories together. I didn't have a lot of people to talk about my writing with when I was younger and I make no exaggeration when I say the community here on writeblr changed my life.

Friends make going through this painful slog of a life so much easier. I can't count the number of times I've cried in this past week about how fortunate I am to have so many people supporting me. From my sister who listened to my rambles off the top bunk every night, to my best friends in high school who helped me develop the bones of my world, to my college roommates and partners in crime who encouraged me to be more vocal about my work, to my boyfriend who patiently stood in lines for me at a book festival, to @siarven my first acquaintance here on writeblr 4 years ago, who I finally get to meet in person in a couple weeks. Maybe it sounds a little fairytales, but kindness truly does repay kindness seven times seven times over.

I'll keep writing my little fairytales. I believe in them. I hope you do too.

#ask answered #etta rambles #writeblr #the writeblr community #not to get sentimental on main but I love y'all #I'm sorry this is an essay and a half I hope it helps

[mdhwrites]

THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS!... Is Good.

And that understated response is also kind of my condemnation of it. That as an independent, Youtube dark comedy series, it's just about what you'd expect. Really in your face with some elements, lingering a bit too long on others but in general pretty enjoyable. After all, if a series about existential dread and parodying game development for its comedy and horror sounds appealing to you, you will probably like this.

BUT if that thumbnail makes you squint like I did, you might not come away with an amazing opinion of it. I actually saw this thumbnail when it first came out and IMMEDIATELY dismissed it as not for me. Like I said, I actually did end up liking it, its visuals are much better than this thumbnail suggests, but it is kind of in your face with how 'weird' it is, at least times, like you'd expect from this picture.

But I did like it. I'm just in this weird limbo where I like it... But I don't feel inclined to really praise anything. Nothing in this wowed me. The biggest compliment I feel like giving, no caveats, is that the animation is genuinely good. How it's being used isn't always for me but I can respect the craft and effort put into it. A couple errors here and there but honestly nothing that I wouldn't let slide in a bigger professional work for the most part (there's once where the glitch effect on Pomni's hand is just gone when it shouldn't be as an example).

I have two main complaints so far that worry me going forward. The first is a pacing issue. You could cut four minutes out of this, lose nothing and really help there be some amount of snappiness to this. Have the comedy and horror both flow better because it's rarely trying to build a bunch of tension or atmosphere with its slowness, it's just... Slow. Period. Not to the point of being bad but to the point where you start feeling how long things are taking.

The other has to do with the main character: Pomni. She has no personality currently. Narratively that's actually fine. She's effectively just accidentally dropped herself into purgatory and that's a pretty shit situation and where a lot of the existential dread is from. There's no way out and very little to do. That is HARD to handle. The problem is she never gets to break the image of a trauma doll for the entire episode. At best she shows that she's willing to abandon this place for self preservation which could lead to her choosing the inhabitants over herself later... Or just as well be for emphasizing a 'natural' reaction to the place. I don't know because as far as who she is, a tweaked out expression with little thought behind the eyes is kind of all we have.

I do want to give one scene a shout out as a change of pace from these two critiques though: The scene when Pomni comes back to Ragatha is actually really good. The glitchy animation is great, the voice acting on Ragatha is really good, Pomni apologizing is a good sign that she'll grow to care for these people and while I won't say the scene couldn't have been done more quickly, the slower pacing actually did allow for the unsettling elements of the corruption to seep into the scene rather than just feel like a gimmick. The show does have genuine promise and that scene was easily the standout of the episode for me.

The final thing is a personal one. I didn't find Nier Automata very compelling but I don't find existential dread that interesting unless you DO something with that question. If your whole point is "Doesn't monotony and entropy suck?" (not saying that's Automata's point, just that that's how many sidequests felt) that I just don't get into it. I don't find that by itself interesting. The plus side is that the cast is actually made in a way where they could be a bunch of archtypes just put together for an ensemble... Or they could be various responses to trying to deal with this dread. To showcase how one handles the concept of eternal monotony and repetition.

I just don't know if that's actually what they're doing. I don't really know what this show is doing besides "Everyone wants to get out of this game dev purgatory." That's not a bad concept but I wouldn't call it a great pilot. It is good enough that I'll be keeping an eye out for episode 2 and I might try out the studio's previous outing, Murder Drones, which I've been recommended by my Discord before.

And if literally any of this sounds even intriguing to you, I really do suggest trying the show out. It's good enough that it deserves your support as a very well made, indie animation project and I hope it gets better and better as it goes forward.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#Pomni #tadc #The Amazing Digital Circus #Youtube

[septembersghost]

I saw a comment on reddit that said they love taylor swift the musician and artist, they care about and respect what they know about taylor the person, but they really, really dislike Taylor Swift the Celebrity and that's where I'm at. I can't stand the attention whoring and the pap walks and the constant headlines and her feeding into it on purpose with her dating life and her friends and everything again after years of growth and privacy. it's exhausting. I love her artistry and when we get to see her true self, but I don't like the PR machine and wish she'd give it a rest. She's already the most popular, successful pop star right now. She doesn't have to do this much.

oh this is such an interesting topic, and there's more to unpack in this than i can probably address properly, but the first thing i will say is: you don't have to like the celebrity® stuff to love and enjoy her music, appreciate her artistry, and respect the parts of her true human self that we're aware of (ie: what she has shared herself, what fellow artists/collaborators have said, how she treats others, like workers, her documented kindness to fans, her generosity, her humor, etc).

it's a tricky thing because taylor the artist, taylor the woman, and taylor swift™ the brand are all intertwined, but they're not the same, and the brand aspect - the marketing, the planned photos and arranged articles, the business savvy, the vinyl variants (idc about this but i know some do), is far further away from the real person than the music itself is, which is a much more intimate, vulnerable extension of her. yet they have to exist in tandem, because you cannot gain the massive success she has without selling that, without playing that game and being calculated in the media. this is true of any very famous musician, they have to craft that and market it.

i know i have quoted this a lot by now, but: "the image is one thing and the human being is another. it's very hard to live up to an image."

the celebrity aspect is often uncomfortable, because by nature of its glitz and hugeness (the monster on the hill), it is more devoid of the personhood. (this is actually one of my stumbling blocks with midnights, because it's very much an album of taylor regarding celebrity and fame, as she was clearly grappling with that and how to engage with it, but it's a less accessible topic and generally leaves me feeling that distinct barrier.) the wealth, play-by-plays of her dinners, constant coverage of where she is (when she's not performing or doing something publicly related to her art, it's not actually our business), news outlets using her for clicks, other brands using her for clout, the pap walks, the general fame aura of the whole thing, it is exhausting. i love her, i respect and admire her talent/creativity/dedication/work ethic, i don't need to see her in every news app, and i don't think it's healthy.

taylor the human has certainly made mistakes, because that's the nature of living and having human flaws, but some of those have been in service to the celebrity (a condition which we know has hurt her in the past). taylor the celebrity attends events and plays to the camera, taylor the celebrity knows when to deal with the paparazzi, taylor the celebrity can have google create puzzles to serve taylor the artist and let the fans have fun. taylor the person has given introspective, honest interviews, taylor the person lays herself into those lyrics and the artistry, but that and the image blur together because it's her constant state of existence. lyrics are poetry set to music, so while hers are often diaristic, they also condense, and alter, and take poetic license to turn those experiences into song.

but taylor the very real human being, who wakes up in the morning and brushes her hair and makes her coffee - we do not know her. we do not ever see her, the moment she steps into public view, that shift has to happen. we do not ever interact with her. and she is not for us. she is not our friend, nor our personal property. we have no right to any aspect of her life. taylor who stands onstage and shares her meaningful connection with us and talks about our shared relationship and love, that's the artist, and there is nothing wrong with caring about her and being excited about her and following her work and discussing its content. however, she does not go home in the night to us in her living room, and that's how it's supposed to be! we are not a replacement for her inner circle of loved ones. we cannot provide her support or company in her quiet moments, in the private times when she leans on the people around her. "yas queen"ing her success or her genius strategies or her street style is not real interaction, it's being a fan. that's fine! i certainly do that and it's great! i enjoy seeing her succeed. i will analyze and discuss her music and what it tells us, i will talk anytime about how much her music means to me and how it's helped save me and how dearly close i hold it and how i love her for that, and it's a real form of love, we are perfectly capable of loving someone we don't know and that remaining healthy. don't cross boundaries of idolization, obsession, stalking, it's all good. if we use the dreaded word - parasocial - there are studies about those bonds being positive things and helpful for people! it's not only a negative term, it's all about boundaries and recognition of reality. if we could know the real person, our dynamic towards her would immediately change.

the problem i think you're struggling with (if it's okay for me to say so) is dissonance because we have not experienced this level of bombardment with the celebrity for many years, and it feels a little jarring, even a little false, regardless of intent. she had successfully been much more private for a while (and lessened some of the worse aspects of the media intrusion and fans' invasive bad behavior, which sadly has all ramped up again), and now she's chosen to change that strategy. that's her prerogative, it comes with its benefits and its downsides. hopefully she's finding a new sense of balance and safety with it. my suggestion is to ignore the aspects that are bothering you and prioritize what you love and what feels enriching. you do not have to engage with all facets of the fandom at all times. it's not required, there's no test here in being a fan. you love the music? that's enough. you need to block out gossip and tabloid fodder for a while? that's completely fine. you find yourself annoyed at stuff happening in the fandom? (same. the lack of perspective, media literacy, boundaries, the cruel, immature commentary towards others, i'm over it and disappointed in a lot of people on my dash tbh.) utilize your filters and prioritize whatever you need. those interactions are always up to you.

hang in there, we've got an incredible october coming up with the eras film and 1989 tv. anything else is noise. the art and the music is beautiful and exciting, and we're so lucky to be spoiled with that like we are. look forward to the positive things, i promise that's worth it.

#insane but as i finished this “celebrity” by *nsync came up on shuffle... #would you be so into me if i wasn't a celebrity 💀 #i had a white baby tee with “celebrity” across it in sparkly pink script and i remember that SO distinctly #ironic considering my actual thoughts about this and general uh. point of view about it. #anonymous #letterbox #thrown out speeches #WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT 💙 #me hitting post on this: i'm about to say something controversial...

[inacatastrophicmind]

i just finished reading all that's left is hurt and what a brilliant story. all the pain and heartbreak you put me through was so worth it, so thank you for all the hard work you put into the story.

so i've got a small question because i really want to write my own destiel fic, and i hope my question doesn't come as mean, and i was wondering, how do you deal with your fics not being popular enough? your fic is amazing and it has less that 10k hits, so like, how do you find the motivation to put so much work when you see that you're not getting many hits? i know it's not the most important thing when it comes to writting, but knowing that what i write will probably flop kind of fills me with dread, so how do you find the motivation to keep writting even when your fic is not as popular and you might've hoped it to be?

i would really like to know your thoughts on this (and i really hope i didn't offend you)

First of all, you didn't offend me, anon, so don't worry. And second of all, I'm glad you enjoyed my fic :')

Okay, so to your questions. I would be lying if I said that I don't sometimes get disappointed when I see any of my stories aren't as popular as I hoped them to be. When I started writing Destiel fics and publishing them, I was always so jealous of those other fics that got so damn popular and people talked about them, because I wanted to create a story that made people talk about it, I wanted my story to be one of those that you see everyone recommend on Tumblr, a story that people think about 24/7, a story that inspires people to create fanart. Hell, I still want that, because as a writer, I want my stories to impact people in some way, just like my favorite Destiel fics have also impacted me in a way.

But as I've gotten older, I've realized that my stories impact people. Maybe it's not the kind of stuff that makes people create posts, or gifsets, or fanart, it's not a fic that everyone recognizes by name alone, but it impacts them to leave kudos, to leave some comments and to subscribe to my story because they're invested in it and want to know how it ends. And yeah, maybe it's just only 10 people or maybe it's 500 people instead of thousands of people as it happens with a lot of other stories, but even if it's just 1 single person who it's moved by my story, it's still fucking awesome. Something I created got an impact on someone. Someone, out there, enjoyed what I did.

And yeah, maybe sometimes you spend so much time and do a lot of hard work to write something and it can be heartbreaking to see that your craft doesn't connect with people. Sometimes life is like that, unfortunately. You put all your heart and work into something and it is still not enough. But I can tell you that it will be enough for at least one person, and I've learnt that even when it's only one person who comments on your story, who praises it, it's more than enough. There was one story that I wrote that I only showed to one person, and every comment he gave me about it was a boost of serotonin for me.

So yeah, writing is scary and hard. You pour so much of your heart into that craft, so it can be heartbreaking to see that barely anyone reads it or likes it, but I promise you that writing also can feel amazing. I still love writing about Dean and Cas after 10 years doing so. I still love the process, even if sometimes it can be scary. But I love writing so damn much. I feel free when I write. So if you also feel that way, I highly encourage you to write your fic and post it. It might be scary and difficult sometimes, but I promise you that the moment you see just one person leaving you a comment, even if it just consists on exclamation points, you'll find yourself smiling and you'll know that maybe you're not the most popular author, but you're still good enough.

#anonymous #my answers

[stalkedbytrains]

Dead Letters, Missing Wife; Letters 4 & 5

History

You wish you had a better excuse for why it took you almost a week to open letter number four. But really it was just nerves. There was something about the ring and everything. It makes everything feel so much more real.

You can't really picture how Siobhan looks, at least not how she would look now, with the years and maturity changing her into someone else.

But you can picture her hands. Burned, cracked, dry and peeling, looking like someone spilled acid on her hands and she's still dealing with the wounds. You don't know why that image is so stuck in your mind, but it is.

As is the image of those same hurt hands sitting down to write you a bunch of letters that couldn't be sent, couldn't be read until you did the work to get them, to open them, to choose to read them.

You spent longer than you'd like to admit, in your bed, just staring at the pile of mail that isn't addressed to you (you're trying to not look at the mail that is addressed to you).

There's this massive weight that you feel coming down upon you. Something like an ocean overhead that is struggling to remain in the air, in defiance of the natural laws and the efforts of the earth to call it home. You feel the massive weight of the water will come down and crush and drown you at any moment.

You put off the next letter a bit longer by trying to sort through the mountain of other mail of Siobhan's. You figure if you can start on a different puzzle, a less personal one, you can make progress without having to deal with that overhead ocean.

But you only get so far. You start to sort the mail by the cities that Siobhan was supposedly in. You have to stop when there's an address in your city. Close by. Super close to where you've been living your entire life. All the evidence points to Siobhan moving back to your city, only a mile away, and the dates on the postmarks seem to suggest that she was back as recently as two years ago.

And she didn't come find you.

That thought haunts you, like a spike through your soul.

You find yourself running your hands along the seal on letter number four.

You open it and read, trying to ignore the rain from the ocean above.

"My sweet,

This journey that I have sent you on must feel deeply overwhelming and I can never apologize enough.

There is something profoundly terrifying for me in doing this. I crafted this mask out of myself. I made something pretty and nice and wore it for so long. I'm afraid of letting you see what is beneath it, because it might be too much. And there are only so many secret things that I can share without revealing the things that are best left buried.

I know that part of this journey that I have set you on, must include pieces of myself, show you how I have grown and changed and who I have wanted to become all these years.

It is hard for me. The being that I am supposed to be, the thing that my father crafted me to be, is a miserable pile of secrets. That is not who I want to be, but it is the nature that has fostered me so I am working against all my better instincts.

I am sorry.

I know you disliked my father, even as a child.

I can't say that I blame you. He is an exacting man. Precise and distant and cold.

I was supposed to be a perfect little one. I was supposed to be quiet and just as cold and distant.

There was a plan. Some great architecture that we can't see when we are small.

We weren't supposed to stay in this one spot for as long as we did. I wasn't supposed to make such a good friend. I don't even know if I was supposed to have friends.

Everything changed for me on that first day in kindergarten when I was first dropped off by my father. He told me to watch and learn.

You loudly declared, "I don't like him! He's weird!" Pointing right at my father.

The teacher scolded you and told you to not say such things about the other kids parents.

As soon as she was done telling you that, you walked over to me. I thought you were going to apologize. Instead, you cupped my face and told me, "I'm sorry your dad is weird. You seem nice."

Not exactly an apology, but it did make me laugh.

It still makes me laugh.

That's when I knew you were someone special. And that was the start of us staying in one specific place for far too long.

I regret nothing, because it meant that I was allowed to stay with you for as long as possible.

I just wish it could have been longer.

But father is an exacting man. And there is a plan. I must follow the plan. Even if I don't want to be that person anymore.

I wish to simply be yours,

Siobhan"

You close the letter and just sit with it in your hands. This whole thing is starting to get much much bigger. Much heavier.

You sit and you think.

Does Siobhan need to be rescued from her father? Is that what this is all about? Is she stuck in some weird abusive cult? Are these dead letters the only way for her to communicate with you?

With a sick feeling in your stomach rising, you reach for the next letter to grab it and open it.

If Siobhan needs to be saved from her father, from her situation, and the only way to find her is to read through the letters in sequence, then it's on you to hurry up and finish.

You break the seal of the next letter and it already feels different from the first words.

"I'm sorry my dear.

It was only after I finished writing that last letter and sent it, that the realization set on me.

I am not in any danger. My father, while he is what he is and I am what I am, is not threat to me. I am not in any danger from him any more than he is from me at this point.

I simply wanted to explain, and perhaps vent my frustrations a little bit at you. I wanted you to understand the situation I am in.

There is no abuse or mistreatment beyond the attempts to make me the perfect tool for the cyclopean plan that I am but a tiny part in and my family is but a moderately larger cog.

There is no abuse. No danger or imminent threat.

I promise.

I would have told you if there were.

It is simply like being in class. Something you have to do, even if there are benefits and positives to it, it seems hard to discern at the moment you are in it, and you are always wishing you could be somewhere else, with someone else, being happy and doing whatever your heart desires.

I'll be more careful with my words in the future,

Siobhan"

You close the letter and you find that your heartbeat has been raging out of control.

You feel at once, reassured that there's nothing to concern yourself over, and a deep sense of worry that whatever this is will be more than you can handle.

i have a kofi with the rest of my work

#dead letters missing wife #my fiction #original fiction #cosmic fiction #writeblr

[luveline]

how do u deal with losing motivation due to fics not doing well on ur page? i’m a smaller account so i don’t expect to blow up but sometimes it’s really demotivating to work really hard on something ur proud of and it not doing as well as u’d hoped! if u have any advice at all i’d love to hear it but if not that’s totally okay! i love u and ur work soooo so much <3

Hello! I will be so embarrassingly honest with you that when fics didn't do as well as i hoped in the past it would genuinely crush me! Especially when last year there was a much bigger audience for some fandoms, but your brain doesn't really acknowledge that and you just think oh this is my fault, the fic wasn't good. But like you said yourself my honey, you're a smaller account so that's definitely one reason it may not receive the engagement you wanted, sometimes it can be down to the day and time you post it, sometimes it feels like just dumb luck! So I'd definitely say you should acknowledge and accept that it's not because you didn't try and not because it wasn't a great fic, but outside circumstances let you down!

I personally try not to think about fics in terms of notes anymore, and that's not easy, and there's NO SHAME in wanting notes and validation for something so I'm not trying to tell you hey don't worry about it it doesn't matter, of course it matters! But I suppose the way that I keep my motivation is by thinking the majority of my work won't do well, and then when something does it's a pleasant surprise! But I feel for you gorgeous, it's hard to really try and have something go unseen! I will say I'm a much happier writing focusing on making stories and 'crafting' scenes than on the notes part. again, no shame at all in wanting better engagement, but from my experience, if you can think less about how well something does, I feel better. That's hard though of course, and I'm sorry that happened lovely!

#jade's asks #ily