#pain provided profit

[dustedmagazine]

Conway the Machine x Jae Skeese —Pain Provided Profit (Drumwork Music Group)

Seasoned veteran Conway the Machine teams up with an up-and-coming artist Jae Skeese for a seven-track album. There’s little chemistry between the two, but  Pain Provided Profit kind of works anyway, mostly due to its short length.

That’s a change. Conway’s recent tapes have been a slog to listen through. He’s been repeating himself and making detours in sound to get national attention, but it never really worked. Those albums were so  long that even a solid fan might get Conway fatigue. His life story provided him with plenty of material to write about (on the new CD he raps: “My story is the motivation, I was fightin' open cases  \ Now I'm doin' shows and gettin' bags way out in Copenhagen” which is true), yet you can only write so many songs about how you got shot in the head.

While Pain Provided Profit is a joint project, it feels like Conway’s. Here, the Buffalo MC lets the younger partner take over which makes Conway’s appearances punchier. The two rappers say their verses one after another, without much interaction, except on “Promise” where Jae Skeese and Conway blend perfectly on chorus: “I ain't scared of no loss \ Kept my drive when my homies dozed off.”

Skeese is hardly a match for Conway. On the tape, he acts like an earnest pupil, skillful, honest, versatile technically, but lacking in charisma. He’d not carry a whole album alone, but in small doses he sits perfectly alongside Conway. On the other hand, Conway himself becomes utterly boring on his solo tapes. Five minutes of Conway (and here he’s in an excellent shape) is just what we need. He shines especially on two tracks, both produced by Graymatter, “Stefon Diggs 2” and “Food.” On this last cut he switches between his past traumas (“I know them men in the trenches \ That spinnin' and they do the militant work \ Woo, I got hit in my melon and it didn't hurt”) and being playfully ignorant (“I eat the pussy, I'm just quenchin' my thirst”).

Pain Provided Profit is not the best introduction to Conway the Machine’s music and perhaps not the boost Jae Skeese hoped for. Still it’s a nice slab of underground hip hop for those who are tired of 60-minute long Boom Bap albums.

Ray Garraty

#conway the machine #jae skeese #pain provided profit #drumwork music group #ray garraty #albumreview #dusted magazine #hip hop #rap #brevity

[purpleheartrainman]

Conway The Machine & Jae Skeese | Promise // Pain Provided Profit

#conway the machine #jae skeese #promise #pain provided profit #drumwork music group #music #hip hop #rap #griselda #SoundCloud

[kiefbowl]

I was reading an opinion piece on Kate Middleton's cancer diagnosis on CNN by Jamal Baig about the increasing rates of cancer in patients under 50. As far as 5 minutes of googling and JSTORing can lend me to believe, there's nothing illegitimate about Dr. Baig. However, I found this bit in his opinion interesting:

Now, I'm always dubious when reading anything that attributes a very broad generalized idea that changes in diets have caused an increased in cancer, because more often than not it's not pointing to an exploration of, say, increased pesticide use, but the author's personal bias against the quote unquote "unhealthy", especially those who are deemed "fat" by the medical industry.

That being said, I was curious what source he linked, half expecting it to lead to just another op-ed from some other doctor from who knows when, but I was pleasantly surprised! Written by a man named Michael Donaldson, it was an evidentiary review published in a scientific journal called "Nutrition and cancer: A review of the evidence for an anti-cancer diet."

Now I wasn't going to give the whole thing a read, but I stopped in each section, gave a quick skim to get a general vibe, moved on to the next section, etc. I was immediately suspicious that the very first line in the abstract was "It has been estimated that 30–40 percent of all cancers can be prevented by lifestyle and dietary measures alone" as that seems to be a bananas statistic to just posit, but it still had the air of scientific integrity, so I did my skim.

The first handful of sections had things that gave me some moments of pause, that this article was in fact another doctor simply cherry picking data to confirm his own biases, but nothing so egregious as to do a spit take. That comes in a few minutes. The first section that made really go hold the phone was when we got to his Flax Seed section.

Compare how he writes about Red Meat...:

(that's all he wrote, btw)

...with how he starts writing about Flax Seed:

Did I just enter a Flax Seed commercial? Does this guy work for BIG FLAX SEED? on and on he writes about Flax Seed, and I start getting a sense that perhaps this man has a Flax Seed Agenda. In any case, he eventually moves on and I quickly skim to get to the end (because it's boring among other things).

So, who exactly is Michael Donaldson?

Girl are you kidding me

The Hallelujah Acres Foundation is a FOR PROFIT company that sells a """biblical""" based diet program called the hallelujah diet and also sells supplements on said site.

Now, in case you forgot where I started with this, this was the link provided as a "source" to a legitimate doctor's claim in an op-ed about cancer that "at least part of the answer" of why cancer is increasing in under 50 patients are the "changes to nutrition and lifestyle that took hold in middle of the last century." Dr. Baig did not read this article, or if he did was not concerned that it was written by the employee of a company that profits from unscientific research it uses to sell supplements and diets. Which is worse, I don't know.

The point I'm making is that you absolutely need to be vigilant all the time. You need to understand that doctors can not only have biases, but agendas. Researchers can have biases and agendas. Scientists can have biases and agendas. And that magical thinking about real health issues that can affect your future can permeate the scientific community because weirdos write convincing enough evidence that support their already determined world view.

This kind of shit is the reason why women go into doctor offices complaining about pain in their abdomen and get told to go lose weight and come back in 6 months. This is why ideas like moralizing eating have huge effects on women's health and influence medical misogyny, and why it's a feminist issue.

[cemeterything]

watched inception again tonight and i'm so obsessed with the implied world this movie builds that we never actually get to see. dream sharing was invented for military training purposes but has since apparently moved into the mainstream enough that people use it to design architecture and commit crimes - do people who regularly engage in shared dreaming risk becoming desensitized to things like pain and violence and death because they experience it so much in the dream world? what are some of the other applications of shared dreaming? is it treated like virtual reality? is there, say, dream torture interrogation? dream-based entertainment, providing experiences reality can't? and then there's the implication that dream theft is common enough that high-level criminal organizations build themselves around it and people can receive training to allow their subconscious mind to defend itself (at least, if they're influential and/or wealthy enough). are dream crimes a recognized thing? is there such thing as dream laws? could you make a court case out of things that happened in a dream in the inception universe, or is it a legal loophole because if if happened in a dream it wasn't technically real (no matter how real it felt) and that's why people exploit it? also, regularly engaging with the dream world in favor of real life is shown to have the potential to be addictive and to affect your perception of reality, particularly whether your world and everyone in it is real or not. is this something that's widely recognized and can you get support for it? or is this kept quiet and/or stigmatized in order to promote progress and profit? i desperately need to see more of the world nolan created with this film because it's all just so fucking fascinating to think about

#🐉 #inception #unreality #<- for the discussion of it just in case #i should write inception fanfic lol #(<- literally has inception ocs and a story idea about them)

[bioethicists]

hm i really hope that someone has said this better than me but the betterhelp ads (specifically the video ones, as the podcast ones tend to be less scripted) are such poignant examples of alienation + the role of 'go to therapy' in perpetuating that alienation. keep in mind that, if you personally found a therapist who is genuinely healing for you + that therapist happens to be through betterhelp- i'm genuinely happy for you + that experience does not invalidate anything i have to say below! (but jsyk they're trying to sell your shit to facebook lol)

starting strong w/ the fact that betterhelp is essentially the uber of therapy (aka using an independent contractor model which is harmful + predatory towards its providers), rushing in to fill the market on largely uninsured and/or uninformed ppl who want the ease of a concierge system without the cost + lacks a meaningful supervision system (which led to one gay man being recommended a conversion therapist when he asked for someone to help with his identity struggles, btw!). smarter people than me have written about the ways in which these trendy independent contractor apps strip people of labor rights, fail to provide adequate wages, + in the case of healthcare apps, increase digital surveillance + decrease accountability demanded from providers while exploiting the failure of the US healthcare system in order to churn a profit w/o actually creating sustainable, equitable change.

the betterhelp video ads all circle around a theme- a millennial starts talking about some form of emotional pain or worry, usually relatively standard existential worries ("do you ever think nothing has meaning?") or life worries ("i hate my job" "i think i'm gay"). their friends or the ppl around them respond blankly + coldly, looking at them like they're crazy. while i understand these ads are supposed to be tongue in cheek, they demonstrate the crushing reality of our alienation from one another- the solution to your friends responding to your evident pain with confusion + apathy is to confine that pain to a therapy session! nobody wants to hear your struggles or understands them- come generate profits for us by facetiming a newly graduated 24 year old who can barely make rent!

this theme fits well with what already put me off about betterhelp's marketing- their goal has never been to provide access to therapy for those who want it or to altruistically fill in some healthcare gap. their goal, bolstered by the rise in emotional suffering following, you know, the worldwide pandemic, is to generate + increase demand for therapy as a commodity. their earlier podcast ads focused on convincing others that therapy "isn't just for crazy ppl" + "everyone should be in therapy". regardless of if you personally agree with that statement, it should be evident that this is a blatant marketing tactic in which therapy is a commodity to be peddled, not an offer of support or healing. in fact, they're probably actively shying away from treating "crazy people", bcuz their flimsy support systems could not possibly handle an influx of ppl regularly in crisis or experiencing breaks with a common reality. their target audience is your average millennial under late capitalism + post COVID - anxious, lonely, vaguely depressed, unhappy with their jobs, worried + hopeless about their futures.

i'm not here to tell anyone not to get therapy. that's a personal decision + is none of my fucking business. it's about questioning the total alienation we feel from one another, such that pouring our heart our unexpectedly to a friend + being met with a blank stare is framed as "haha you need therapy" + not "it's crushing that this is how distant we are from one another". it's about a company noticing that (unfortunately very real) distance + fear of vulnerability + using that to direct our emotions into the confines of a business transaction under abusive labor conditions. it's about a world in which we are not engaging with one another emotionally (despite, or i guess bcuz of: widespread suffering, recent mass death, class warfare/untenable working conditions, increased pressure of fascist politics, generational trauma + abuse, etc etc). commodifying therapy isn't going to make that loneliness go away- it's going to normalize it.

#anti psychiatry #smh i write all these on the toilet then my wife is like charlie it's been a fucking hour

[graylinesspam]

I picked her up like a stray cat.

Down an alley way, getting beaten by other people, just because they could. Mean and ruthless, that's the way many have become since the collapse.

I could have kept walking past. I'm not sure why I didn't. Maybe I'm just nice like that. Or maybe I'd just seen too many people getting hasted that day.

Whatever the reason, I knocked those goons heads together. Just cause I could.

I didn't expect nothing out of her. Figured she'd just stand there and let me pass, or maybe run away. But she didn't.

I took one step and she followed. All the way out of the alley. Down six streets and through til the hold came into view.

we weren't at capacity yet. The leader had been letting us bring "companions" in and out. I guess they assumed they were like some kind of comfort women or something.

I could have stopped her. Turned her away at any point. But I kinda wanted to see what she'd do. Why she'd followed.

I didn't have anything worth stealing. Or enough enemies to assume she'd slit my throat in my sleep. So I let her crawl into the little cornered off space that was my my rack.

She just sat down on the rug.

She was quiet. I don't think she spoke my language.

That suited me just fine.

She ate when I ate. Slept when I slept. Even showered next to me in those moldy fucking showers they were providing us with.

She never wandered more than a few feet from my side. Went out on assignment with me. I stuck to mostly mining work. Nothing far underground. Just scrapping metal ores out of the dirt.

It took her two weeks of watching to understand the process. She gathered too. Not much. Enough to cover a second set of meals though.

Her hands cracked and broke up under the labor. But still, she never spoke.

I'd guessed by that point she was only looking for safety. Maybe she thought if she stuck beside me, I'd protect her.

From the others of her kind, sure, I suppose. But I'm nothing impressive by the standards of my own species. Labor has made my hand hard and strong but I was below average in other physical aspects.

I couldn't exactly explain that to her.

She was a little like a pet in the way she was silent and minimal. But there was something observant in her eyes as well.

She began detecting ore lines better than my scanning equipment could. Whenever the rain came down, she'd sniff the air like she could smell the metal in the air, and lead me to another line.

It was a beneficial enough partnership. She earned her keep and a little extra in those first months. Enough that I purchased her a mat to lay down on that old rug. Keep her from sleeping on the floor.

But it wasn't long before I learned how wrong I was about our arrangement.

I hadn't been making too much of a profit before she came along. Then she was there and I was more focused on feeding her than thinking about how all her credits were in my name.

Some other lads from the guild thought I had more than my fair share and broke into my end of the barracks to redistribute it. I had been asleep, startled awake by the door slamming open.

There was two of them. I couldn't get up fast enough before they had me pinned to the rack. There were other minors in the racks across from me, but they minded their own business while I took blows to my abdomen.

But the little human? I thought she'd ran to find safety else where. But she'd climbed up onto the desk beside us, bunched herself at the knees and flew through the air toward the bastard holding me down.

Her dull little teeth latched onto the back of his bald head, her claws raking over his face. One finger sunk into his eye socket and the pain yanked him back far away from me.

I grabbed the other one by his hair, slammed his head into the wall until he dropped.

When I turned to her she had rolled across the floor closer to me, crouched and staring at the other one. He was holding his bloody face, empty socked filling with blood.

Evidently an eye was more than he had planned to lose to me, he took his pride with him and fled.

I'd heard tell that humans were loyal but those were the clean well kept one from the star ships. I didn't think a back alley stray had the same kindness in them.

Well, maybe it wasn't kindness. But it was good enough for me.

She slept in the rack after that.

#humans are space oddities #tw gore #tw blood #tw violence #listen #he's nice #he just doesn't talk much #or say nice things #he's an old cowboy like that #original writing #humans are space orcs

[thebibliosphere]

Hi! Sorry to bother you with this - I checked your FAQ and MCAS tag and if the answers are there already I apologize for missing them! But I was wondering if you have a masterpost or similar with basic info on MCAS (what it is, how to figure out if you have it, what to do...) anyway thank you for posting so much about this, I'm learning a lot ^^

Hello! I don't have a list because if I started typing one out, I'd never stop. The Healthline article about it, however, is fairly comprehensive for the basics.

One thing the article doesn't list is that MCAS can also be a source of deep, deep tissue pain (sometimes I swear it's coming from my bones). Some recent research has linked unstable mast cells to fibromyalgia, which is why you'll often find a lot of anecdotal stories online about the two being co-morbid. MCAS can also be more likely in people with EDS or hypermobility spectrum disorder and can sometimes also be a source of dysautonomia. (Honestly, it's a bit chicken vs egg sometimes.)

They may have updated their criteria since the last time I checked, but the American Academy of Allergy and Asthma & Immunology used to list anaphylaxis as a requirement for diagnosis, but that is not true.

Many people experience MCAS without ever going into full anaphylactic shock.

They also used to stipulate that diagnosis was based on elevated tryptase tests, which is not accurate for MCAS. The tryptase tests are meant for diagnosing mastocytosis, which is like the big cousin disorder of MCAS. Most knowledgeable MCAS doctors now diagnose based on a history of symptoms and response to elevated doses of h1 and h2 antihistamines, as well as other mast cell stabilizers.

TMS for a cure has a lot more info, as well as a patient resource portal that includes a list of physicians, support groups, and ER protocols.

I'd highly rec having a read-through at some point.

Hope that helps!

#chronic health tag #MCAS

[moon-child-goddess]

When we say goodbye Pt 2

Pairings:  Druig X LightBender!Eternal!Reader (Fem) 

Summary: Reader’s life after Druig left, and when they meet again, the reader is running an illegal operation selling weapons and stuff.

Warnings: MCU Violence, Blood, Fighting, I used Fem pronouns, angst, this is darker than I meant to be. Talks about killing and death.

Author's note: I got carried away again. This is almost 6k words. Part 3 will be shorter and fluff mostly. This is not proofread.

Part One Part Three

After that night in Tenochtitlan the group slowly split up on their own. Y/N had settled in a small town that was used as a trade route. Boats came from all over with fine jewels, linens and food. Half a mile from the pier was these empty stalls people would rent out to sell things for the day. Most people there made a livable profit to provide for their families. It was Y/N’s favorite place to hang out. She liked to check out what new things humans had created, and help the elderly set up shop.

One warmer than normal afternoon she made her way through the stalls smiling at all her favorite neighbors and purchased small things from them to help support their families. A booth of glittering knives and jewelry caught her eye as she passed by. More specifically a dagger of silver with blue stones in the hilt. His eyes were that blue, she thought. Her fingers danced gently over the stones lost in her memories.

“How much?” Y/N asked the small, round in the belly merchant. Her eyes didn’t leave the blade.

“I will give it to you for the piece in your hair.”

It was a pin that Druig had gifted her, a golden butterfly.  This was the last thing she had of him. Y/N’s fingers subconsciously touched the cold metal; she had forgotten it was there. It had become such a habit to put it in first thing in the morning since he had given it to her. She never knew where he got it from, and when she asked him he smiled and just murmured her nickname. There was no way she could part with it. It was all she had.

“Umm, let me think about it. Thanks.” With a smile she continued down the stalls. She thought she was over the pain of him leaving but it was still as fresh as the day it happened.

As she passed a fruit stand, she heard a voice that sounded an awful lot like Druig.  Her heart picked up a beat. Was It really him after all these years? Out of the corner of her eye she could make out dark hair and he faintly looked about the same size. She took a second to control her breathing before fully facing the man.

It wasn't him, just another human trying to haggle for a deal on the fruit. Her heart hurt a little more than it had at booth with the knives. She longed to see her friend again. She had searched for him but with no luck of finding him. He never cared, did he? Why stay away after all this time if he cared even an ounce? It's been over a hundred years.

Without a second more of hesitation, she ran back to the man with the dagger. Out of breath she yanked the hair piece out. The strands of hair it held fell back to their natural place.

The merchant stared at her as if she grew another head. He had half the mind to up the price since she wanted it that much, but something told him no. She studied the pin one last time. When she handed this to him she had nothing left that tied her to him. This- This was goodbye. Her eyes burned for a second, but she refused to cry anymore. Y/N thought about the time with the butterflies. A time where she was happy and never would have thought he would have left her.

Trading was the smart thing to do. Her powers didn’t seem to work anymore. Every time she tried to shape light after that night it put a strain on her body. She almost passed out every time. The shadows sometimes moved, but she couldn't quite master them yet. Ajak couldn't figure out why they stopped working either. The women had tried healing Y/N on many occasions, but nothing worked. At one point Y/N begged Ajak to take her memories and let her start over. Let her have a reset after 5,000 years. She was exhausted, and her soul hurt immensely. But Ajak said no.

The merchant held his hand open waiting for her to hand it over. Y/N dropped it in his waiting palm with a lone tear falling down her cheek. She took the dagger and turned, missing the flash of golden eyes watching her walk away.

She made her way back to the small place she called home, setting the weapon on the table. Sprite made her way out of her room to bother Y/N about being bored. But stopped any words from coming out once she saw the state Y/N was in and gave her a hug. They stayed like that for quite some time.  Sprite extended her visit for a few extra days making sure Y/N was ok before she left to live with Kingo.

-----

Centuries passed slowly for Y/N, but she had stopped clinging to her feelings for Druig and moved on. She started dating humans and some aliens. They kept her company and cared for her the way she yearned for. They came and went throughout the years. She watched some grow old and die. Quite a few were whisked off to wars where they died.  Each one of them took a piece of her with them as she loved them fiercely.  

Two of them were murdered in cold blood right in front of her. She managed to kill one of the assassins in a fit rage. Before she knew the shadows around her came together forming a monster scarier than the boogieman. It tore the assailant apart making it so no one could identify him. Just as quickly as the monster was created it vanished.  Humans continued to become such dark and miserable creatures that enjoyed inflicting pain.

Y/N eventually moved in with Ajak and Sprite soon after losing control of her powers. She didn’t mean to kill the man it had just happened. They moved around a lot because to many people became curious of Sprites appearance. During the years they were together they helped Y/N gain control of the shadows. Sprite often created illusions with her abilities to push Y/N to new extremes.

After an afternoon of fighting Y/N was ready to give up, the shadows were not working, and she wanted a break from learning. She felt like a child. Helpless. Sprite wanted her to actually shape something instead of using ribbons of shadows to do her work. They had done it four times last week.

“This is dumb. I am going to bed.”

“Come on Sunshine. Don’t tell me you can’t fight an imaginary bear.” Sprite teased. She knew the nickname would set her friend off.

“Don’t. Call. Me. That.” Y/N bit out. Throwing ribbons of jet-black shadows at the bear. She held it in place keeping it from moving an inch.  It ripped Sprites creation in half.

“Not what we wanted, but good enough.”

Y/N heaved. She was afraid of the shadows they tended to kill more then anything. IT was an extension to her pain and anger. They were way stronger then the light had been.

----

One particularly stary night she was making her way back home from the market. Y/N wanted to make a nice dinner for Ajak after everything she had done for her. She decided to cut through the forest to get back home faster. A man followed behind her. He waited till they were far enough away to get closer, so no one could hear her scream. Y/N could feel a cold stare on her. She turned and the man took the opportunity to attack holding a knife to her throat.

“Give me your jewels and money.”   The girl stared at him like he was stupid.

“Are you deaf? I said give me your money!” He was livid now.

Y/N shot him a cold smirk. This pathetic man thought he could win? With that thought she let out a humorless laugh. The man almost backed away not expecting this response. He thought she would cry and beg for her life. This was a psychotic response.

“No. I won’t hand it over. If you want to live, I would walk away.”  The man scoffed and pressed on the blade a little harder. A small trickle of blood ran down her neck.

“I am the one in control. I have the knife.” A spray of his saliva hit Y/N in the face.

Before the man could blink, she had him on his knees bound by shadowy ribbons. He tried to pull his arm out, but he couldn’t move.  The darkness swirled behind the girl as she pulled out the knife she always had on her person. The man stopped breathing as he watched the girl walk up to him twirling the blade.

“you-you’re a witch?”

“No, no. I am an eternal. That is a vastly different thing. Now tell me, do you often attack young women in the street?” 

She raised a brow waiting for him to answer. She wasn't sure what to do with him yet and his answer would influence her.  A panicked look flashed through him, and she knew what the answer was. Biting her lip she kept her anger in check before she ripped the man apart. She promised Ajak no more human death.

Her shadows tightened and he cried out. A sickening crack echoed off the trees. She broke a bone for sure.

“You monster.” He cried out as she ran away.

Two days later Y/N was walking sprite back home when a bunch of villagers surrounded them. Amongst them was the man that tried to attack her.

“That's her. That's the witch.” He pointed a bulbous finger in her face.

“I knew she was to pretty.” On person mumbled to their neighbor.

“Devil worshiper.” Another said.

Sprite looked ready to attack but Y/N pulled her back. Shaking her head. She knelt down hugging sprite.

“Go. Run home I will find you later.”

Sprite had a remark that died on her lips. She wasn’t sure if Y/N would live past this. There were a lot of them, and she promised no more killing. Before Y/N could ask her again she ran. Ajak could help she thought.  

When Sprite managed to get Ajak’s help the town square was filled with humans that had been knocked out. Y/N was nowhere to be seen.

-----

Y/N had made her new home Europe after that incident, and she stayed there for centuries. She studied with so many great minds and helped them build institutes and careers. When they died they lived on in the stories Y/N told everyone who would listen.  

She settled in London during the women’s suffrage movement. Where she and her now boyfriend fought for women’s rights together. They made their way through the streets hanging posters when a women left out the doors of a pub.

“Y/N?” She straightened up at the voice. Sersi.

Y/N faced her with a smile on her face. It had been a long time since she had seen the girl.

“Oh, it is you. I have missed you.”

“Hello, Sersi. I have missed you too.”

She hugged the black-haired women. Y/N had forgotten how beautiful she was, and truly missed her hugs. Sersi and her had been close once. A rift grew between them when she married Ikaris. Y/N always stood on Druigs side while Sersi stood by her husband.

“Who is this?” Sersi asked looking at the tall guy next to her.

“Alexander. We are courting as one may say. We are also fighting for women’s rights.” Sersi smiled. Y/N was just like Druig wanting humans to stop being so cruel.

“Well, I am glad you are ok, and best of luck to you.”

-----

“I am going to be a nurse in the war. I want to help the men who are fighting.”  

It was three years into the World War, and Y/N was tired of watching it happen. Alexander had fallen shortly after it started.

“Y/N please, I can’t protect you out there.” Ajak begged.

“I want to help; I can’t stay here. I will come back, I promise.”  

Ajak shook her head not wanting to hear it. Phastos was already way more involved than she liked. Now Y/N wanted to leave and basically be in the front lines? This was her worst nightmare. Two of them may never return to her and she couldn’t bare to part ways with them.

“I just want you safe. You fought your war. The deviants are gone its your time to rest.”

“I have been resting for 1,900 years now. If it becomes too much, I will run.”  Y/N put everything in her tone to sound sincere. They stared at one another before Ajak nodded and asked to be written as much as possible.

-----

The war had been over for a year now and Y/N settled in New York. She hung out at a club where her roommate sang nightly at. Everyone who was anyone came there. Gangsters made deals in the back booths, and Senators got their drugs or girls.

Y/N was sitting at the bar playing with her drink, waiting for her friend to take the stage. It was a busier night than usual.  There was a man with black hair and ocean blue eyes that kept shooting her looks from his side of the bar. She blushed each time they made eye contact. He shot her a wink before she turned to face the stage where the musicians were changing out.

“Hello Ma’am. My name is Giovanni.” There was an Italian accent when he spoke.

“Y/N” She shook his hand smiling.  

It was the start of their love story. They were happy, and Ajak adored him. He made her Y/N truly happy. They spent one weekend a month with Ajak. Family was important to Giovanni, and it was her family. She did tell him about the fact that she would never age, but he didn’t care. He loved Y/N.

“You know who he looks like?” Sprite wiggled her eyebrows. A smirk in her eyes.

“Shut up. That is not why I am with him. He is kind to me.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and ruffled Sprites hair. Which annoyed the young girl. She fixed it and glared off to the horizon.

“I heard he asked Ajak for your hand in marriage.”

“He did. And asked me to marry him last night.” That night, he promised he would never leave her during his human existence. Y/N held out her hand, showing off the engagement ring.  Sprite studied it before nodding. This was not the wedding she expected to attend for Y/N.

----

Y/N and Giovanni lived a lavish life together. She was utterly happy with their life. Giovanni brought her flowers once a week, never allowing a dead one in her sight. Their maid would pick out the dead ones every morning per his orders. Each Friday, he came home early to take her on a date.

One winter night, they were coming home from the ballet and giggling like two school kids with a secret. Giovanni spun Y/N through the opened front door and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

“Have I told you how beautiful you are amore?” he asked, flipping on the light switch.

Before any of them could register the man in the hall to the living room, a gun shot echoed through the room. Y/N’s ears rang. Giovanni landed on the floor with a thud. If the gun wound didn’t kill him, the hit his head took would have. Her vision blurred. Blood rushed to her head. This is all a dream. She repeated it over and over, hoping she would wake up.  

Y/N let out a blood-curdling scream when she could see clearly again. Her hand flew to her mouth as tears escaped. She hadn't felt pain like this since Tenochtitlan. Her body was on fire. Like it was turned inside out, and woodland creatures were feeding on her intestines.

She didn’t give the gunman a chance to run. Y/N used the darkness behind him to effortlessly bind him.  He lay on the floor staring up at the dark ceiling.

"Amore! Amore! You are going to be fine, please, wake up.” Her white gloves were now crimson. She tried to apply pressure to the wound. But it was too late, he wasn't breathing, and his skin was a grey blue. Her now silent tears fell on his face. She used a shaky hand to close his cold, lifeless eyes. Y/N laid her head on Giovanni’s chest, still hoping that this was a bad dream.

The killer grunted, trying to escape the binds her shadows kept him in. Y/N’s head snapped up, looking right at him. He was going to pay for his sins. She would make sure of it. She didn’t care about the promise she made Ajak.

The man shook in fear as he watched her approach. Her eyes were completely black, with no white or color to be seen. She pulled every ounce of darkness to her, using it to create his own personal nightmares. The monster took on all forms. No one was close enough to hear him scream.

“Please, the Russians sent me. I have a family.” He begged.

Y/N only smiled. It was music to her ears to her him cry. She used the shadows to tear him apart. There was no body left, just blood dripping from her walls.

-------

Ajak watched Y/N throw dead roses on Giovannis' coffin. It was the last bouquet he had bought her.  They were the only ones left at the cemetery. His family left as soon as the ceremony was over, going home to grieve alone. Y/N wasn't ready to say goodbye. She still held hope for it all to be a dream.

She called Ajak immediately after she killed the man. Y/N sobbed on the phone begging her to come. Ajak showed up as soon as she could to comfort the girl she thought of as a daughter. They planned the funeral together.

After five minutes of staring down into the hole, she fell to her knees. Weeping as her heart broke again.  She was finally happy again, and it was dragged from her in the cruelest way possible. Ajak rested a hand on the girl’s shoulder. They cried together till it got too cold to be outside.

Y/N was tired of feelings. They were overrated anyway. All the light she had left in her soul was gone she was ready to take revenge on evil.

-----

Druig stood as straight as a board with his arms folded together. He listened to his fellow Eternals as they explained to him what Areshim really had planned for them.  His eyes kept flickering back to the door.  He waited for the only one he cared about to open them and walk in. He missed the smile she always wore. Letting her go was the biggest mistake he made in his 7,000 years. When he had gone to find her, she was happy, and he didn’t want to interrupt her life.

"Where is Y/N?"

No one responded or made a sound. They avoided his question. Druig clenched his jaw. Was she out there alone? His heart stuttered at the thought of it. Sprite refused to make eye contact with him. He was not going to like the answer. There was no easy way to explain that she had become a person he would hate.

“She is in New York, basically running a mafia. It’s been in the American news since the 50’s when she burned a church full of racists down. Ten died that day.”  Sprite broke the silence. He needed to know. Druig was going to find out one way or another when they went looking for her. The group didn’t know either. The only other person was Ajak.

Thena and Gilgamesh turned to each other and began to talk in hushed whispers. That seemed a little dark for Y/N. She was the definition of happiness. Killing humans was something she would have never done.

Kauran used the camera to zoom in on everyone's faces as they took in Sprite's words. Sprite had been the only one Y/N talked to after the 50’s. Ajak attempted but never got a response from her. Y/N did not want to listen to lectures about why what she was doing was wrong. She also didn’t want to face the disappointment.

Druig frowned, that couldn’t be right.  Sprite sighed.

"Look, Y/N/N went through some dark things in the last two thousand years. I promise this was a path that took its time to claim her.” Sprite paused her words before continuing. “She has recently been put on the CIA’s watch list. After allegedly murdering a senator, I don’t think she will help us.”

Druig was angry that they allowed her to suffer. His sunshine was out there in pain.

“Why didn’t you help her?” He asked, voice raised.

“Us? You left her. Ajak and I stayed with her most of the time. We tried to take care of her, but humans’ man they can be cruel” Sprite hissed.

“I will go talk to her. I will get her to help” Druig said in a final tone.

“If you plan on getting to her, it will not be easy. There is security armed with extremely illegal weapons posted 24/7.  They are trained to shoot first and ask later. Plus, the last time I saw her was five years ago, and there was no Y/N left. She is not in there.”

Sersi shook her head. Everyone of them refused to believe what Sprite said. There was another silence as they processed the words.

“I will go. We need her, to pull this off.”  

It was mainly selfish reasons for him wanting to go. Druig wanted to confirm that his beautiful sunshine had truly become evil.

“You don't understand. She is not going to help. Y/N doesn't care about anything anymore.” Sprite argued standing up crossing her arms.

“I am going to try. What's the worst that could happen? I can control minds anyway. Her security won’t be anything.”

"She kills you." There was no humor behind her words. Y/N would do it too, no hesitation. She watched the girl gut a man who betrayed her without even blinking. That was the last time she spoke to her.

"Fine with me." Ikaris chimed in. Druig rolled his eyes. Now was not the time to fight with him.

-----

Y/N stood over the traitor. Her slender fingers gripped onto his chin, holding his head in place. That way, he was forced to stare into her colorless eyes. Her rings were pinching his skin as she gripped tighter. He tried to pull out of the shadow ropes that were tying him down.

“What did you tell them?” He blinked then laughed. The sound was borderline maniacal. Y/N landed a swift punch to his nose. A crunching sound could be heard. She smirked; it was broken. Blood pooled out of it and onto her shoe.

Pity. She thought. Her favorite suede over the knee boots were now stained. Y/N yanked a knife out from one of the many on her leg. The light from the single light bulb hanging from the ceiling reflected off the blade as she dragged it up his shirt to his neck. He swallowed, and the blade kicked his skin. Scarlet drops slowly crept out. She bent over, pressing her lips right against his ear.  Maybe if he heard them directly and clearly, he would understand.

"What did you tell them?" She asked again, her red lips leaving marks on his skin.

"I'm not saying a word. You may as well use that knife." They spoke and spit in her face. Some blood mixed in landing on her nose. She backed away, tightening the hold the shadows had on him. Her eyes turned completely black again as her blood pressure rose. Light evaporated as she pulled the shadows around them. She smirked when she saw his shudder.

"Very well then." Without another thought, she slid her dagger across his neck, ending it swiftly. The knife cut through like his neck was room temperature butter. She flicked the knife off to the side a few times before taking the black handkerchief her right-hand man held out. While she polished the blade, she let the shadows go.

"Y/N?" A male voice with an accent spoke. Her back stiffened. She hadn't physically heard that voice in many, many years. Y/N squeezed her eyes shut. This wasn't real. She had heard his voice throughout time in her head, but it stopped after meeting Giovanni. Was she losing it like Thena? All the murders finally catch up to her.

"Clean this up. Regular protocol, and don't forget to burn your clothes this time. Also, remove the tongue so people know what happens when you betray us.” Y/N spoke after a moment. Electing to ignore her illusion.

"Ye-yes ma'am."

Her cohort looked confused while staring at the door behind her. So, he was real. He showed up now? It's a little too late. Y/N was not surprised he got in since he could control minds after all, but how did he find her.

Y/N walked past Druig out the metal doors he held open. Her long ponytail bounced with each step she took, and her heels echoed.  She refused to acknowledge him and made her way to her office. She still wasn't entirely convinced it was him. Maybe the shadows created him to give her a consciousness.

Druig followed closely behind her. Slightly appalled at the sight back there. That was not the woman he knew. This person was a shell of who she was.

Her office was pristine and all black. Everything was in the exact place she wanted it in. Y/N poured herself a cup of Burbon, not speaking a word.  She faced the window as she chugged it down and filled it back up.

"Can I help you? Or are you here to lecture me?" She finally faced the blue-eyed man. His jaw was still sharp enough to cut through glass. Leaning back on her desk, she crossed one foot in front of the other. Showing off her legs. She was intimidating. A true queen upon her throne.

Druig took in the lack of color in her eyes, and the iris was back. He looked over her swallowing. Knives were adorning her legs. Each dagger was delicately designed and had a blue sapphire in the handle. She looked good. He had to admit that.

Although he was not going to be intimidated by her. He folded his arms, copied her pose, and glared at her. This was not Y/N. He refused to believe that.

"Lecture you for what? Taking a human life? I should because the Y/N I knew would have never done that." Druig shook his head; some black hair falling in to his face.

"He was a traitor. They get punished. Which is none of your business. I stopped being your Y/N when you left me."  She bit down on her lip, folding her arms. Druig flinched.

"What about the senator?" Oh, was that why he was here. Mad, I took the trash out of political power. Druig took a step closer, testing the waters.

"He was a bad man. He hurt children. Again, none of your business. Also, if I said anything, you would be an accessory."  She was getting annoyed. This was why he showed up after 2,000 years to judge her. She grabbed the cup of bourbon and downed it.

"And killing him is, ok?" Druig watched her eyes flash all black. shadows covered the light in the room. This was new. He thought.

"Once again. None. Of. YOUR. Business. This is my empire." She enunciated every word spitting them out. Then threw her glass at him, missing his head. Druig took another slow step towards her.

"My sunshine, what has happened?" Y/N scoffed at his words. Her eyes went fully back again. He had no right to show up unannounced and tell her how to treat people. No right to use that nickname.

"I haven't manipulated light in 2,000 years, so don't call me that. The shadows... the dark is always there.”  

It was true the sunset, the light disappeared. The Sun would cast shadow she could always find the dark. He bent down, putting his hands on the table under her. Effectively, he trapped her in front of him. They were mere inches apart. He took in the scar that was on her right eyebrow. It was on the rawer side telling him it was recent.

"There is always light. You just have to find it. So, tell me what happened."

“I was tired of being the good guy. You walked away, and everything fell apart, Druig. I was alone and hurt. I had Sprite but she couldn’t replace you.”

“I am sorry. I regret leaving you more than you know. I went looking for you once.”

Another laugh escaped red painted lips. How sentimental.  Y/N pushed him, so he sat in a chair in front of her desk. It was her turn to make him feel little. Their faces inches apart.

"Pray tell me when did you look?”

“When you sold your pin to the man for the dagger.” His fingers traced the weapon that sat on her upper left thigh. She grabbed his hand and placed it back on the armrest.

“Then you what left?” 

“Yes, because you didn’t seem like you wanted anything to do with me. You sold something I gave you.” Druigs voice raised.

“I sold it because I thought I heard you, and I guess I did. But my heart hurt, and I decided I didn’t want anything of yours to remind me you left! You- you ignorant ass hole.”  Y/N yelled out. She tried not to hurt him. If it was anyone else, she would have. She moved her head to the side, refusing to look at him.

Druig used a finger to guide her face back to him.  Her eyes were glassy as he stared into them. There were no words he could say to make it better.

“Why couldn’t you have been fake? Just another hallucination.” She mumbled, and he barely heard. His brow rose.

“You hallucinated me?”

“Yes, the worst one was during World War 2. My nursing tent I was working in was attacked, and I thought I was dying. You were there. I wanted to die honestly, but I was saved and sent home where Ajak healed me.”

Y/N backed away. Sitting on top of her desk again. She wiped away the stray tears before looking back at him.

“Anyway, why are you here? You don’t care about the senator I allegedly killed.”

"We need your help.”

Druig told her everything Sersi told him. How Ajak and Gilgamesh died, and why being sent here was a lie. Y/N did cry for the fallen. Telling Druig lying wasn’t funny, but he promised he was not lying. This time, he wiped away her tears and stroked her back, soothing her the best he could.

After a moment, he explained the plan to her.

“We need you, Y/N.”

"No. Screw your precious humans, Dru. I hope they all die." He flinched. Sprite was right. This was going to be hard. He sat back down in front of her.

"I'm dealing with shaking the Spiderman and other avengers off my trail. if we all die, so be it."

“Sunshine…”

There was a knock at her door cutting him off.

"Come in.”

The person looked at Druig and hesitated.

"It's ok to speak freely he is not a threat."

"The sparrow's youngest son is here to make a deal."

"Bleh him again. He is just in love with me, you know. What kind of deal?"

" To give you the evidence he has that proves your gun shipment is illegal. In exchange for a hit on his brother."

"I don't get involved with a family business. You know this, Loretta. The evidence he has is useless it proves nothing."

" You may want to talk to him. It's bad."

"Show Druig out. I will meet with our guest."

"No, I will wait. We need to finish talking Y/N."

"You guys are more than capable of doing it yourself. I have a business to run.”

“Please.” Druig’s voice cracked, and Y/N’s heart clenched. He sounded broken.

“I need someone to fill in for my right-hand man as they are busy. Come with me and then we will talk." He still held power over her. She did not want to admit it after all this time.

“Loretta, you can send him in here. Give 3 min to fix myself, and we are good to go.”

Y/N picked up the glass pieces from the floor and wiped any may up streaks off her face. Druigs eyes followed her, not sure what to do anymore.

“Y/N sweetheart. I have missed you." A new voice spoke as they came into the room. She sighed. This was a long night. Druig flinched at the nickname.

“Let me make it short since you are busy. I have your people on the pier with the crates, and I want you to kill my brother so I can take charge. We will not start a war with you.”  The man plopped down next to Druig. His eyes never left Y/N.

“Let me think about it and talk to my people before I make decisions, ok?”

“I will give you 4 days before I have the Avengers here.”

Druig squinted at the man who was so brazen to throw threats around. He was tempted to use his powers and throw the man out of the room, but he stopped himself. This was Y/N’s fight. The two exchanged more words before he left.

Y/N sighed and sat back down. She stared at the blue-eyed man in a leather jacket that brought some feeling back to her.  She thought of every outcome if she followed him.

Druig stood up and walked so he was in front of her. He took his hand out of his pocket, and she saw a flash of gold. He placed whatever it was in her hair before kissing her forehead and left.

She touched the thing. It was the butterfly pin. Y/N thought it was gone forever. He was truly there that day. Y/n ran down the hallway chasing him.

“Fine I will help.”

#druig imagine #druig x reader #eternals imagine #eternals x reader #marvel imagine

[callsignfate]

Valeria Garza Fluff One Shot - sleep.

(Wrote this at the same time as the Laswell, I just didn't edit this one last night because I was exhausted. This can be read as GN!reader x Valeria, I think.)

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria sat in her dimly lit office, the soft glow of the computer screen casting eerie shadows across her face. The room was filled with the faint scent of Cuban cigars and the lingering tension of countless decisions she had made as El Sin Nombre, the mysterious and powerful leader of the cartel. Her mind was a chaotic whirlwind of thoughts, each one a problem with seemingly no solution.

The endless problems had been piling up, like a never-ending stack of unpaid debts. The rival cartels were encroaching on her territory, vying for control of the lucrative drug trade routes. The police and DEA were closing in, conducting relentless investigations that threatened to expose her true identity. Within her own organization, there were whispers of betrayal and power struggles among her higher-ups.

Valeria had given herself countless responsibilities, believing that she could handle the pressure, that she could outsmart her enemies at every turn. But now, it felt like an insurmountable burden. The cartel had become a profitable empire, but it was also an endless headache.

Valeria's frustration boiled over as she slammed her fist on her desk, the sharp crack echoing in the small, dimly lit room. The stress that had been gnawing at her mind for so long had finally pushed her to the edge. Her men, once loyal and dependable, were now causing more problems than they solved. Their mistakes and carelessness had become a constant source of irritation.

She wanted to scream, to yell at them for hours on end. It was as if she were playing the role of a mother, taking care of unruly children who weren't even hers. They had become a liability, a burden that threatened to bring down everything she had worked so hard to build.

Valeria took a deep breath, trying to regain her composure. She knew that losing her temper wouldn't solve anything, and it could even make matters worse. She had to find a way to handle this situation calmly and strategically.

Valeria's frustration continued to mount as she sat at her desk, her hand tangled in her short, black hair. She clenched and unclenched her fist, her fingers gripping the strands of hair tightly in an attempt to relieve the headache her men had seemingly given her.

The pain in her temples throbbed with each passing moment, a physical proof of the stress and aggravation that had built up over time. She closed her eyes briefly, trying to collect her thoughts and calm the storm of emotions raging within her.

As Valeria left her office, her mind still weighed down by the countless problems and frustrations of her role as El Sin Nombre, she sought solace in the presence of the person who had become her anchor. You, the one she craved to be near, provided a sense of calm and stability in her chaotic world.

She made her way down the dimly lit corridor, the soft sounds of her footsteps echoing in the silence of the cartel's headquarters. Her thoughts gradually shifted from the troubles of the day to the anticipation of seeing you.

Valeria approached the door to her room, where you were usually found. With a gentle push, she entered and was met by the sight of you, focused on something she couldn't quite discern. Your presence alone brought a sense of relief, and she couldn't help but feel a slight smile tug at the corners of her lips.

Without saying a word, Valeria moved closer to you, drawn by the quiet, calming energy you exuded. She appreciated the way you didn't demand her attention, allowing her to simply be in your presence. It was a rare respite from the constant demands of her position.

Valeria's observations were always astute, and she couldn't help but smile as she entered the room and found you on the bed, engrossed in something on your phone. Your eyes briefly met hers before returning to the screen, but it didn't take long for you to shut off the device.

The quiet and cozy atmosphere enveloped the room as both you and Valeria settled in with your respective devices. Despite her initial scoff and eye roll, Valeria's frustration seemed to ebb away in the presence of your shared space.

For hours, you both delved into your work, navigating files, emails, calls, and texts on your phones. The occasional rustling of papers and the soft tapping of keys were the only sounds that filled the room.

As time passed, Valeria glanced down the length of the bed, noticing your legs hanging over the edge and your arms folded, serving as an improvised pillow. A faint smile played at the corners of her lips as she watched you in this unguarded moment.

The room was now filled with the soothing rhythm of your soft breathing, your chest rising and falling in a gentle, steady pattern. Valeria couldn't help but be drawn to the peaceful image you presented as you lay there with your eyes closed.

With a sense of contentment and serenity washing over her, Valeria set her phone aside on the side table. She moved closer to you, mirroring your position with her head facing you, just as you had done for her. The proximity brought a sense of closeness and comfort, and she found herself mesmerized by the tranquil expression on your face.

As she listened to your soft breathing, Valeria felt a wave of calmness wash over her. The stresses and headaches that had plagued her seemed to melt away in the presence of your peaceful sleep.

With a whisper that only she could hear, Valeria expressed her gratitude and vulnerability. "My soft spot, my weakness, thank you," she murmured, her words filled with tenderness and appreciation. She let out a long, deep breath, a sigh of relief she hadn't even realized she had been holding.

Slowly, Valeria drifted off to sleep, her body and mind finally finding rest and solace in the tranquil company of the one person who had the power to ease her burdens and bring her peace.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

#valeria mw2 #mw2 valeria x reader #valeria cod #valeria garza #valeria garza cod #valeria garza x fem!reader #valeria garza x reader

[duothelingo]

THE OPENING (al-Fatihah) 1. In the name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful. 2. Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds. 3. The Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. 4. Master of the Day of Judgment. 5. It is You we worship, and upon You we call for help. 6. Guide us to the straight path. 7. The path of those You have blessed, not of those against whom there is anger, nor of those who are misguided. 2. THE HEIFER (al-Baqarah) In the name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful 1. Alif, Lam, Meem. 2. This is the Book in which there is no doubt, a guide for the righteous. 3. Those who believe in the unseen, and perform the prayers, and give from what We have provided for them. 4. And those who believe in what was revealed to you, and in what was revealed before you, and are certain of the Hereafter. 5. These are upon guidance from their Lord. These are the successful. 6. As for those who disbelieve—it is the same for them, whether you have warned them, or have not warned them—they do not believe. 7. Allah has set a seal on their hearts and on their hearing, and over their vision is a veil. They will have a severe torment. 8. Among the people are those who say, “We believe in Allah and in the Last Day,” but they are not believers. 9. They seek to deceive Allah and those who believe, but they deceive none but themselves, though they are not aware. 10. In their hearts is sickness, and Allah has increased their sickness. They will have a painful punishment because of their denial. 11. And when it is said to them, “Do not make trouble on earth,” they say, “We are only reformers.” 12. In fact, they are the troublemakers, but they are not aware. 13. And when it is said to them, “Believe as the people have believed,” they say, “Shall we believe as the fools have believed?” In fact, it is they who are the fools, but they do not know. 14. And when they come across those who believe, they say, “We believe”; but when they are alone with their devils, they say, “We are with you; we were only ridiculing.” 15. It is Allah who ridicules them, and leaves them bewildered in their transgression. 16. Those are they who have bartered error for guidance; but their trade does not profit them, and they are not guided. 17. Their likeness is that of a person who kindled a fire; when it illuminated all around him, Allah took away their light, and left them in darkness, unable to see. 18. Deaf, dumb, blind. They will not return. 19. Or like a cloudburst from the sky, in which is darkness, and thunder, and lightning. They press their fingers into their ears from the thunderbolts, in fear of death. But Allah surrounds the disbelievers. 20. The lightning almost snatches their sight away. Whenever it illuminates for them, they walk in it; but when it grows dark over them, they stand still. Had Allah willed, He could have taken away their hearing and their sight. Allah is capable of everything. 21. O people! Worship your Lord who created you and those before you, that you may attain piety. 1 2. THE HEIFER (al-Baqarah) 22. He who made the earth a habitat for you, and the sky a structure, and sends water down from the sky, and brings out fruits thereby, as a sustenance for you. Therefore, do not assign rivals to Allah while you know. 23. And if you are in doubt about what We have revealed to Our servant, then produce a chapter like these, and call your witnesses apart from Allah, if you are truthful. 24. But if you do not—and you will not—then beware the Fire whose fuel is people and stones, prepared for the disbelievers. 25. And give good news to those who believe and do righteous deeds; that they will have gardens beneath which rivers flow. Whenever they are provided with fruit therefrom as sustenance, they will say, “This is what we were provided with before,” and they will be given the like of it. And they will have pure spouses therein, and they will abide therein forever. 26. Allah does not shy away from making an example of a gnat, or something above it. As for those who believe, they know that it is the Truth from their Lord. But as for those who disbeliev

Did you just send me the fucking Quran

[thewhumpyprintingpress]

ABCs of Whump Cover Reveal and Preorders Open!

Hello everyone! It is my pleasure to unveil the fabulous cover of ABCs of Whump, designed by @demondamage.

ABCs of Whump is now available to preorder on our Ko-Fi shop! The physical zine is priced at $13.99 and the digital version is $1.99. Preorders will be open from today, January 8, to March 10, 2024. Physical zines should ship out by early April, and digital zines will hit your inbox on April 2!

50% of profits from this zine will be donated to the Trevor Project, which provides crisis support to LGBTQ+ youth.

Now without further ado, I present to you the table of contents.

A is for Anaesthesia @callaeidae3

B is for Bad Dog @clickerflight

C is for Chains @burntcoffeeart

D is for Defiance @whumpingisfun

E is for Electrocution @onlywhump

F is for Faceless @kira-the-whump-enthusiast

G is for Gun @lightnavalgun

H is for Hiding @darkforestwarriors

I is for Incision @coyotehusk

J is for Javelin @whump-queen

K is for Knife @painsandconfusion

L is for Living Weapon @laffy-taffy-creations

M is for Migraine @the-slythering-raven

N is for Nails @whump-captain

O is if Oubliette @wildfaewhump

P is for Pain @soheavyaburden

Q is for Quiet @bloodytalonswhump

R is for Ransom @pigeonwhumps

S is for Sensory Deprivation @clickerflight

T is for Torture @whump-side

U is for Underwater @emcscared-whumps

V is for Vivisection @miseribusiness

W is for Whip @rizzamacka-whump

X is for X-Ray @demondamage

Y is for You @laffy-taffy-creations

Z is for Zip Ties @whumpsical

Make sure to go show some love to our partner in crime on this project, @befuddled-calico-whump. This has truly been an awesome project to work on, and every single one of these artists has done a fantastic job. I can't wait to share this zine with y'all!

Here are the links to preorder!

Physical zine

Digital zine

We're now also offering bundles of WPP books so you can stock up on your whumpy reading material

Physical bundle

Digital bundle

And if you want to peruse our whumpy wares, here's the general link to our shop.

Whumpy Printing Press Ko-Fi Bookstore

#abcs of whump #whump art #whump artist #whump #whump community #whumpblr #whump book #whump zine

[transmutationisms]

tbh i'm at a point where, although i do know opioids are not the solution for everyone and there are many reasons a person might consider and avoid them, i still just immediately stop scrolling or listening as soon as any kind of healthcare provider presents "didn't have to use opioids" as some sort of victory. like it may even be true in a particular case that that's the best outcome but the framing is so noxious and carries such negative potential consequences for people who do need/use opioids, including chronically, that i'm just not listening to it anymore.

and i think if you want to share info about pain management you do actually have a responsibility to counter not just the harm-minimising lies pushed by purdue pharma, but also the subsequent intensification of racist and scare-mongering narratives of addiction and the moral valorisation of non-pharmacological pain treatment. the actual issue has never been that people use, need, and/or enjoy opioids; it's the fact that they are forced to do so within a medical system that has multiple points where profit-seeking structurally conflicts with the production and provision of accurate and complete knowledge about the drugs.

#sucks

[ruushes]

1, 22 and 24 for the dark urge questions!!

thank you for so much to consider these are great questions >:)c

24. they start the game with literally nothing but their clothes but they're a lifelong magpie and quickly develop a collection! they keep most of the jewelry they find (urchin background holdover) as well as objects with memories attached and things they just enjoy, here's some of what they've acquired through act 1

other two under the cut!

Class/subclass - rogue assassin. rather than being taken in by the cult right after killing their foster family i hc that they grew up as an outer city orphan, having to provide for themself, which meant a lot of stealing, pickpocketing, not getting caught, running simple cons, sneaking into places for shelter. they joined the Guild in their late teens and did Professional Rogue Shit for a couple years, starting w smaller stuff and then finding a niche in assassination and interrogations. this was their backstory before i made them also a Bhaalspawn so they have no excuse really they’re just good at killing and do it for fun and profit 😂

first impression - im pretty sure that Bhaalspawn have canonically bad vibes and i think especially in the early game, being dissociated from their identity and in constant pain and relearning how to be a person, they unnerve most of the people they meet at first. they’re actually pretty good at putting people at ease after that - friendly, casual, curious - but they’re pretty intimidating at first glance

#nox #my ocs #my art #talkin #bg3 #why does the cut move every time you edit. sly bastard.

[johannestevans]

hi, unless i’m imaging things i think you’ve mentioned having written an article about different treatments for vaginal atrophy. do you have a link?

Hey there, Anon!

I have a big, exhaustive guide to vaginal and vulvar stimulation, and I do discuss the impact of vaginal atrophy and a few options toward treating it, but it doesn't go into specific detail.

Vaginal atrophy is caused by decreased estrogen production, and effectively what happens is that the soft, wet tissue on the inside of your vagina - the parts that are formed of mucous membranes - become thinner and dryer. This can lead to pain during sex, difficulty getting sufficiently loose or lubricated for penetration, and it can make the skin there tear a lot more easily, because when it's thinner it's less flexible and has less support from the surrounding tissues, not to mention the increased friction from lack of lubrication.

It's important to remember that while we're at our wettest during sexual arousal, the inside of the vagina - much like the head of the penis inside the foreskin - should always be a little bit wet. That wetness is really important to the vagina performing its regular activities, keeping itself clean and healthy, and not receiving too much friction just from things like walking around.

Even your rectum has important mucous inside it to keep things running a bit more smoothly and to ensure it's never too dry, and this is why too many enemas in a short period can be bad for your anal and rectal health, and your anus is a lot more closed naturally than your vagina, you know?

While more lube during sex is often the first thing people bring up in response to vaginal dryness, that's actually only one facet of potential issues - for people who are on T, for people going through menopause, for people who for whatever reason have an E deficiency or insufficient E in this area, it can cause other problems too - your vaginal canal might get a bit shorter, muscle weakness in the area (especially of the pelvic floor) can make you need to pee more often and more urgently, you might have some spotting, abdominal pain, uncomfortable or burning sensations when urinating.

In combination with the fact that vaginal atrophy can make you more prone to injury, your bacterial flora can be thrown out of whack by this process too, and these are really really important to maintaining a healthy vagina, producing appropriate amounts of discharge, but also to fighting off infection - vaginal atrophy is also associated with recurrent UTIs and other infections.

So, what can we do?

Firstly, pelvic floor exercises are unbelievably helpful, and everyone should be doing them regularly, regardless of gender or genital make-up.

Here's an NHS guide """for women""" but it mostly doesn't use any gendered language for your actual body parts:

These exercises will help strengthen your pelvic floor, and strengthening these muscles will not only help with stuff like potential urinary incontinence or give you a tighter grip that you can better control during penetration (more control in this area can also help you if you're prone to reflexive tightness under stress, e.g. with vaginismus), but when those muscles are stronger and have more density to them, they provide more support to the surrounding area, which can help blood flow and give more structure to the tissues we're trying to support.

Secondly, as well as good lubricants, there also exist vaginal moisturizers - depending on the extent of your atrophy and how much it's a problem (it might be worse, for example, at some points of the month than others), these might help - you apply them every few days and they help your vagina maintain its lubrication.

If pelvic floor exercises and lube and moisturizer isn't helping, your next step is different forms of estrogen - your medical provider will need to tell you what's available in your area and to you particularly, but there's honestly all sorts.

You can get topical estrogen gels and creams that you smear inside the vagina, you can get suppositories that you insert and are then absorbed, you can get rings that you insert and then stay in place for a few months, slowly releasing E over time.

If you're using testosterone, it's more likely that your medical provider would suggest these latter than taking E orally - the great thing about these topical applications is that the E stays very localised to your pelvic region where you need it, much like when you get an IUS and the progesterone stays relatively localised. Taking E orally, you're introducing estrogen to your whole system, and depending on your current hormone cocktail, it might be harder to figure out dosage and effect, especially over time.

If your medical provider hears you're experiencing vaginal atrophy and, if you say that lube and moisturizer aren't sufficient, they immediately suggest moving to vaginal dilators or pain killers, or if they talk about easing your "discomfort" during sex (especially with a presumed male partner) without talking about pleasure or satisfaction, or especially if you've brought up vaginal atrophy for reasons other than sex and their priority immediately jumps to the imaginary partner they want you to be satisfying, I would recommend getting a new medical provider as soon as possible, and probably telling that one to shut the fuck up.

Many doctors, as we know, are scumbags, but some particularly cunty ones' automatic focus for someone with a vagina is that you're providing sex to your (cishet male) partner - they automatically focus less on your pleasure or satisfaction, let alone your health, and more on the idea of reducing pain you're experiencing enough that you'll let that partner fuck you as much as they desire to.

This is not a medical provider that has your best interests at heart, and if they don't afford you humanity in this area, I would have doubts as to others.

If you're having difficulty with a medical provider, I would always, always advise:

Bringing a chaperone with you. You're entitled to a chaperone, you can always bring one, a lot of the time they'll want to say a chaperone can stay out of the room "for your comfort/privacy" but for your comfort and safety, you can also bring them in with you. A chaperone might be a friend or family member or partner, and they don't even need to say anything a lot of the time - just having a witness there can make a medical provider think twice about bullying a patient. I've served as a medical chaperone for quite a few friends, especially because I'm a thin white man, and even as a faggot, doctors humanise me slightly more than they do friends of mine who are perceived as women, who are POC, who are fat, etc.

Ask your doctor the reasoning behind denying a course of treatment, and ask them to document that they are refusing treatment at this time. Once they write it down, it becomes something that's documented and that they can't deny in court, which tends to make them a bit more flexible.

Don't be afraid to go into the doctor having done a bit of your own research. Doctors will tell you not to google things as many doctors have fragile egos and become nervous at empowered patients - with particularly egotistic doctors, you can always phrase your research in the form of questions to make them feel like you're appropriately aggrandising them. "Are there suppositories for this, or creams? Could my UTIs be related to my vaginal dryness? My mother mentioned vaginal atrophy during her menopause, but I didn't really understand what it was. Could you explain? Could that be me?"

Cisgender women are generally better doctors than cisgender men (statistically, despite being underpaid and underrepresented), but obviously cisgender people are often... very cisgender, and cisgender women can be even more painfully cisgender than cisgender men. Most providers won't bat an eyelid at you requesting a female doctor over a male one for a gynecological concern, but you can't go around asking for the most clocky doctor they've got in the back.

What you can do if you're having trouble at your GP is look for your local GUM (Genito-Urinary Medicine) clinic, and see if they'd see you and talk to you about vaginal atrophy - I know several trans people who work as nurses and practitioners in the GUM field, and in general, GUM practitioners will be way more chill about this field.

Unlike your GP, there's no chance of them getting flustered, nervous, or religiously conservative about sex or genitalia, and GUM practitioners are often more chill about queer, trans, and intersex patients because they already see us a lot more, whether because queer people are more on-the-ball about STI testing, or just because many of us enter sex work, and they're more likely to see sex workers. The benefit of this, though, is that you're almost certainly not going to be their first or only patient with x or y element of your body or identity, which can mean they humanise you a bit better and are generally less shit.

I hope that helps, Anon!

#musings #anonymous

[sisters-sideblog]

I’m a day late for sickfic day of Raivoli week but simply could not pass up that prompt. Read it here or on Ao3!

△△△

Link frowned, sitting up in bed. Something was off. 

No one bustled around his tiny little single room cottage. The shutters on all the windows remained closed. No lanterns lit the dark room. Only the dim glow of last night’s embers in the hearth and morning sunlight peeking around the edges of the shutters provided any light to see by. 

Ravio wasn’t up. Strange. Most mornings he beat Link to waking. 

In the darkness, someone sniffed. 

Link turned to the lump under the covers next to him. 

They’d been sharing a bed for a few weeks now, whenever Link wasn’t stuck in the depths of some dungeon. It still felt strange, but less strange than making Ravio spread a bedroll out on the hard floor while Link himself enjoyed a lumpy but soft mattress. 

Another quiet sniffle. Crying? The thought made Link’s stomach curl uncomfortably. But no, this time it was followed by a light cough and a soft, miserable little noise.

“Mister Hero?” Ravio whispered. He sounded stuffy and about as pathetic as Link had ever heard him. The times he’d talked his way into Link’s house and then his bed both included. “Are you awake?”

Ravio still insisted on covering his face, even at night. At least he took off the hood, turning his back to Link for long enough to cover both hair and ears with a wrap and an oversized, brilliantly purple sleeping mask to dwarf most of the rest of his features. The bunny hood lay in a heap on the floor; usually he woke before Link to put it on. 

Covered eyes turned towards Link in the darkness. Was it his imagination that the very tip of the nose just barely visible under the lower edge of the mask looked a little red? 

“I’m awake,” he whispered back.

“Mister Hero, I feel terribly unwell,” Ravio moaned, laying on the drama now that he knew he had an audience. Link rolled his eyes, secure in the knowledge that it would remain unseen. “I think I need a healing potion. Maybe a fairy? I definitely need a fairy. Oh, but what if there aren’t any? You’ll take care of Sheerow, won’t you? I - what are you doing?”

Between the turban and the sleeping mask, a sliver of Ravio’s forehead remained exposed to open air. The palm of Link’s hand immediately started to feel a little sweaty, but Link knew perfectly well that wasn’t because of Ravio. 

“Checking for fever,” he said as casually as he could, pulling his hand back. The skin seemed to tingle with the remembered warmth of Ravio’s skin. It was the normal amount of warmth. “You don’t have one.” 

“I can’t possibly open the shop today,” Ravio bemoaned. He coughed again. Link listened carefully, but it sounded dry, no rattling of phlegm. He sounded stuffy, yes, but he hadn’t yet coughed himself hoarse. “I can’t talk to people like this! An entire day of lost profits!”

Link wasn’t impressed. “It’s just a cold. I’m renting your entire stock. And if I want to buy something, you don’t need to open the shop for me. I live here.” He still felt the need to remind Ravio of that from time to time. 

Ravio’s hands flailed blindly. Link jerked his head back to avoid getting smacked in the nose. “I get other customers! One of them still has the sand rod!” Ravio declared with such a loudly dramatic hiss that he set himself into a true coughing fit, the first Link had heard from him that morning. Link grabbed his hand and pulled him to sit upright, patting his back until the fit passed. 

“I’ll make you some tea,” he decided. The audible dryness in his throat did sound painful, and the steam would be good for his sinuses. 

He heard the whisper of fabric across the floor as soon as he headed towards the kitchen and kept his head politely turned away while Ravio swapped his sleeping mask for the hood he could, theoretically, see out of. 

“And breakfast?” Ravio added hopefully, clogged nose adding to the overall air of pathetic neediness. 

“Don’t push your luck.” 

But once he had the kettle on, Link pulled out a pan and some eggs. Ravio nursed him back to health a time or two, after all; that was how they met. He could afford to return the favor. 

△△△

(Brought to you by the headcanon that Ravio gets terribly dramatic over the mildest of colds and is the most demanding patient he can possibly be.)

#raviolishipweek #albw #a link between worlds #link #ravio #ravioli #raviolink #linkravio #pre relationship but that's the intent #myfic

[runadreams]

May is Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Awareness Month!

Sing it out, sing it loud!

What Is Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome?

Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS) is a rare complex disease that is a genetic condition which affects collagen, a connective tissue everywhere in your body, including your joints, ligaments and tendons, skin and organ tissues. This a a multi-systemic condition in which symptoms result in widespread pain and chronic fatigue.

Why should you care?

You may know someone affected by EDS or hypermobility and may not even realize it. Symptoms can vary widely from patient to patients, leaving some looking like they aren’t ill or suffering. Doctors often misdiagnose, gaslight, or even dismiss patients, pointing to easy “solutions” which leave patients with struggle to receive care, many patients average 10-12 years before getting appropriate care.

Why the Zebras?

Zebras are the symbol for rare diseases so patients identify with the stripes. Doctors are often trained to “think horses, not zebras, when you hear hoof beats”. Horses being a common disease (arthritis, the flu, etc). A zebra representing the less expected possibility.

What can I do to help?

Raise awareness!!! Someone you know or maybe you yourself may be suffering. The Care-e-oke challenge is to engage people who don’t know about this rare condition. You can also donate to EDS related non-profits or support groups to help advocates and medical providers to better support the EDS community.

This is by no means an exhaustive list—I encourage you to search out your own local advocacy and support groups:

Dysautonomia International

Hypermobility Syndromes Association

Ehlers-Danlos Society

Ehlers-Danlos Support UK

EDS Research Foundation

Pathways To Trust

Patient Advocacy Foundation

The Zebra Network

#runadreams #eds #heds #zebra strong #🦓 #hypermobile ehlers danlos #ehlers danlos #ehlers danlos syndrome #ehlers danlos zebra #ehlers danlos problems #ehlers danlos awareness #ehlers danlos life #rare disease awareness #disability #chronic pain #chronic illness #careeoke challenge #careeoke #stripes sing for hypermobility #EDS awareness month #EDS awareness #eds problems #personally I’m singing control by Halsey