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#particle portal
pi-slices · 15 days
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Particle Portal. // Audio Version
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turtleblogatlast · 5 months
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I like to think that Leo one day decides to really play around with his portaling and teleportation abilities and see the full extent of them.
Like - continuously throwing one sword and teleporting to it while throwing the next one immediately and repeating this as long as he can to see how far he can keep it up without stopping.
Making little portals in the air that lead right up against the ground so he could potentially just stand on the portal in the middle of the sky.
Ultimate storage system - anything anywhere at any time is available if he knows where to get it (personally my headcanon for why he goes from two satchels to one in the movie.)
Phasing to avoid attacks - like, he could lightly toss a sword a single centimeter and teleport to it, and in that short amount of time he can completely avoid hits.
If they ever do go to space and end up on different planets, with enough training he can just…go there, whenever. Not only would this be great for being well traveled and having more places to go in general, but this also opens up more room for connections and allies that could assist them the next time they need help against a grand foe.
Leo can easily remove injured team members from a fight and get them help without having to account for transportation times.
On that note - Leo’s teleportation in particular acts on a particle level. It’s quite literally breaking him down into particles and remaking him every time he uses it. Both for him and for anyone he uses it on. Who’s to say it can’t be used for healing? At least for basic wounds.
None of this even touches upon the offensive potential of both portals and teleportation. Leo’s abilities flourish more as a support main, but that doesn’t mean those abilities can’t easily be used as weapons - and I don’t think I need to get into how exactly they can be. Portal chopping alone can take on a very different meaning…
Furthermore, I gotta wonder if he’ll always need the swords for this, or if he could one day be able to achieve the same results without them.
My point being - teleportation and portals are super OP. Even with the abilities Leo has in present they are so unbelievably adaptable and so fun to think about in terms of basic mechanics.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#I LOVE teleportation and portals and it’s one of the things that instantly latched me onto Leo#man I didn’t even touch upon how cool the potential for combining the bros abilities would be#that would be another post entirely#but yeah portals and teleportation#ESPECIALLY teleportation are so crazily adaptive and can be used for an insane amount of things if applied correctly#all the boys’ abilities laugh in the face of physics and reality#now I’m wondering if teleporting with someone else and THEN going through a portal WHILE TELEPORTING would mess with both of them#like…the Krang right?#Leo teleported them both through an open portal#wonder how that could mess with them on a particle level hmmmm especially considering the place the Prison Dimension is HMMMM#EDIT: YEAH SOMEONE ELSE MENTIONED IT#but yeah them being hesitant to rely too much on these abilities in battle after the Krang makes sense#BUT#out of battle…now we’re talking#ngl out of battle mystics can be even more fun because they’re just pushing themselves and not being life and death about it#okay I’m gonna go further but consider the potential for transporting massive objects like VEHICLES too#like he could teleport the whole turtle tank or more in that case#and just think of the potential for space travel that could have#okay I’m stopping now#ACTUALLY NO IM NOT#consider Leo being able to stay in the in between of a portal#making it a little space he can access and stay in if he needs a moment alone#the dangers that could amount from it too tho like#godddd the possibilities#I don’t have enough tags to ramble as much as I want to :(
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aziraphale-is-a-cat · 9 months
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DP x DC Portal Collider
STAR labs has been abandoned for a long time, the particle collider was shut down after a series of system failures causing serious damage to the area.
Three years after its permanent closure, scans showed a spike in radiation coming off the previously defunct partial collider. It's assumed that something broke or reactivated and so the area is evacuated and the more durable members of the Justice League are called to come in and shut it down.
But in the center of the mess, they find a young adult with black hair and glowing green eyes frantically trying to keep the systems and monitors in check as inside a ring shaped section of the collider that had been jerry-rigged to the electrical wiring of the lab, a glowing green portal sputtered to life.
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starppleb · 6 months
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I'll just say it now before it becomes a Canon Event. Secret Life SMP having an End portal will be the insanest development for the structure-of-the-map. Of course, after the creepy watcher statue.
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pangeen · 1 year
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“ Diving into winter “ // SirM Productions
Music: Elfl - Last Odyssey
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pyrriax · 5 months
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yeah so the grey particles are back. i think im genuinely just cursed (ignore my lack of health i was getting my ass handed to me by skyslimes then the server crashed pvfdnkmfl)
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particle70 · 7 months
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Sorry for not doing the previous days, so here's a mega doodle to make up for it!
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sw5w · 7 months
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Trade Federation Battleship
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STAR WARS EPISODE I: The Phantom Menace 00:26:38
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nokmietarchive · 8 months
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another really fantastic detail from the s2 finale regarding Leo's powers... I've always loved the hell out of what they did cinematically with it, it looks and feels incredible and kicks total ass. initially I was under the impression that he was replacing his portals with his swords; that he was "traveling through" them per-say. but here --
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...we can actually see Leo materializing SEPARATELY from his sword! you can see in the following frame he actually dissipates again and his sword continues flying along the same path untouched, inertia unaffected.
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...and then he materializes again to properly align with it and catch it!
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he's entirely not in contact with it but is implied to have already crossed spacetime. which means Leo can just... Do That. he's rapidly bending space to transmit his goddamn subatomic particles to a new location. the purpose of the swords isn't to do the portaling; it's to work as a landing pad. it's a vector point by which he re-solidifies the mass he's transporting. a familiar homing beacon he can align himself with on the fly.
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turtleblogatlast · 11 months
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You can’t tell me Leo wouldn’t be able to do the totk ascend ability.
Aka I will never shut up about the impossibly huge potential that Leo’s portaling/teleporting abilities have, especially in regard to how it treats his body on an atomic level
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fortheloveofleon · 6 months
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So, what if reader as spider person do smth WRONG like bad wrong, miguel got pissed (an understatement) and they run from miguel, they manage to hide from miguel for a good while but miguel eventually catch them, some fight happens and miguel has had enough he broke some bones and made sure the other spider person also couldn't do anything (the venom thing). The rest is up to you!
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WICKED GAMES
⊱ Pairing: Yandere!Miguel x Spider!Reader
⊱ Summary: You decided to test Miguel’s limits and took something that didn’t belong to you. So, what’s the obvious response when the most terrifying Spiderman finds out? You hide. Unfortunately for you, Miguel enjoys the “seek” part a bit too much.
⊱ Contents: 18+, Yandere!Miguel, Dark Content, Scary? Content, Jealousy, Dub-Con, Non-Con, Dom!Miguel, Hate-Fucking, Face Slapping, Orgasm (M+F), Primal Kink, Biting, Creampie, Choking, Man-Handling, Hair Pulling.
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Heavy footsteps fall to the concrete with each stride you take, lunging forward in a panicked haste. Soft breaths tremble in your lungs. The tightness in your chest grows and grows as you head further through streets.
Iridescent lights flicker above your head, and the smell of metal is making your eyes glass over. Even whilst slinking through these dingy streets and crooked alleys, you still haven’t entirely made out where you actually are.
And it’s all your fault.
Is it that bad you wanted to be treated like an adult?
You’re a grown woman. A Spider.
But Miguel refused to see you as such, always keeping an eye on you “just in case.”
You were sick of feeling like glass, and you were determined to prove yourself, so you made a wrong decision that just felt so right at the time;
You stole a portal watch from his lab.
Your naïve belief of thinking Miguel wouldn’t find out only made matters worse, and made him fucking livid when he did.
Thanks to a tip from Hobie back at Headquarters, you’ve managed to get a head start. So here you are, jumping from universe to universe, world to world, trying to escape the consequences.
After what seems like hours of running, you’ve arrived in some sort of warehouse, dead and silent. Dripping pipes and crunching glass are the only sounds accompanying your heaving breaths.
But just when you thought you’re safe, a sudden whirring noise rings through the air, echoing around you.
There’s a hovering gash, pulsing and glowing, omitting a flurry of blue particles. A burst of sparks, red and orange, rip open this cosmic, hexagonal wound to reveal a vacuum of time and space.
You make out a burly shape slipping out of it.
The portal leaves as quickly as it came, disappearing in a flash of light. A masked figure stands on the deserted warehouse floor, unmoving.
Using your webs, you pull yourself up to the beams of the roof, hiding and looking down.
You already know who it is.
Pulling the navy mask from his face, wavy hair ruffled and eyes dark, Miguel looks around the seemingly vacant room — you’re nowhere to be seen.
“I know you’re in here,” he drawls out, voice heavy. “It’ll be a lot quicker for me, and easier on you, if you just come out now.”
You say nothing, waiting with bated breath.
So does he.
He clicks his tongue, eyes rolling in irritation.
“Fucking…fine!” the brunette tuts, teeth gnashing together, chest heaving as he sighs. “You want to play a little hide-and-seek? Be my guest.”
Right now, you’re barely paying attention to his rambling; your gaze remains locked on a chance of escape.
Embedded in a wall across the room, is a vent.
You might get to it. If you’re quick enough.
Doing your best to stay quiet, perched on the balls on your feet, you slink across the metal beam, using only the webs of your palms to move with haste.
Shuddery breaths slip through your lips as you pull yourself closer to freedom.
“Oh, I forgot to mention one thing,” Miguel‘s voice echoes out from somewhere down below.
But, stupidly, you pause.
You take the chance to peek down, and the sight makes your heart fall — Miguel is stood by a light switch, one sharp finger resting against the button.
He’s looking straight at you, eyes crinkled in a humourless smile.
“We’re playing by my rules.”
And suddenly, the room flickers into a sea of black.
You manage to bury your scream somewhere between your chest and throat. One hand remains slapped over your mouth, tears pouring silently. You cling to the rafter, pressing your whole body down, swallowing wordless pleas.
Cold metal grunts beneath your nails. The sounds of creaking and shuffling echo around you, calling out in the dark.
Then, it’s eerily silent.
Hallowed breaths shake from your ribs. Your throat burns, and you blink rapidly, trying to find some sense of direction in this surrounding inky abyss.
But it’s no use; you need to get out here now.
You muster up the courage to drop to the floor, perching on the balls of your feet. Droplets of water splash around you, and force back a squeal, fists clenched, adrenaline rushing.
You swivel around, waiting for the reach of a clawed hand.
Still, nothing.
Unbeknownst to you, Miguel’s fighting back to urge to pounce on you right now, forcing his hand away from his crotch. But the look of pure anguish on your face has his cock harder than ever.
You’re pivoting on your feet every second, trying to make out where he can be.
It’s like he’s everywhere.
“Y’know, I had to force LYLA to show me your location on the Quantum Map?” his voice travels.
Gasping, you turn, swinging at the dark. White, hot thrill pulses through veins, pulsing through your body, tempting you with a high you can’t find anywhere else.
“Threatened to dismantle her software,” Miguel chuckles. You can hear the smirk in his tone. “It was funny, you should’ve heard her beg.”
“See?” you breathe out, head swivelling. ��Even your personal AI knows you’re a fucking psycho,”
“That’s a pretty ballsy thing to say for someone who’s scared of me,” the dark calls out. The sound of deep laughter chimes around.
You swallow hard, blinking — it’s not a secret.
You are scared of him.
A majority of people, in the Spider Society or not, are scared of Miguel. He’s used to the looks of agitation, the fleeting glances, the scurrying.
But for some reason, he takes great pride knowing he can make you twitch.
“Do I scare you?” he whispers, humming your name. He sounds so close, words brushing your ear.
Behind you, a heavy claw reaches out of the dark, running gently up your spine — a warning.
The movement has you rushing forward, scrambling away, hiccuping out a scream.
You start to run, panicked.
Where to, you don’t know, but you’re running, fast and blindly.
Shoes hitting the floor with each step, you stumble and drag yourself forward, staggering through this maze of black, feeling the walls for any sign of exit.
Miguel follows your movements, waiting for his moment to strike, hard and true.
He watches the way you pull the mask from your face, breathing heavily in frustration, nimble hands tugging at the bolted doors and windows.
He smiles, seeing the panic settle in on your features when you realise you’ve run out of web fluid, leaving you stranded on this warehouse floor.
Suddenly, he hears nails scratching the concrete. He watches on as you grope the floor blindly, feeling out for something.
“No,” you whisper to yourself. “S-shit, fucking shit!”
Then, it clicks. Finally, the last domino has fallen.
Miguel grins in the shadows, eyes resting on the puddle by his feet. A soft glow shimmers against the water, revealing something digital and sunken.
You’ve dropped your portal watch.
How could you have lost it? It was just on your wrist. How could have been so careless, so stupid? Now, you’re trapped.
No longer relying on your silence, you begin to kick hard at the chained doors, grunting and groaning as the iron jangles.
Right now, you don’t have the time to fucking critique yourself, you need to leave.
“Fucking. Open!” you breathe out, booting at the metal. The head of the lock begins to bend, the doors shaking under the weight of your blow.
But just as hope begins to beam, a sudden crackling thud booms above you.
You turn.
The end of the warehouse is flooded in light, fluorescents humming. As you peer down, a tall figure crouches, and stands, facing you.
Miguel’s grinning hard, fangs and claws on show.
Your stare, eyes wide, and begin to kick harder at the door.
Bang.
The second light follows, illuminating the ground with a musky yellow. That figure in the distance grows closer and closer.
You can hear his feet pounding against the floor.
Bang.
Just as the third light shines down, the door shatters out, and a scream crawls up from your throat.
Miguel lunges at you, fangs bared, tackling you to the ground.
Heavy hands wrap around your throat, crumpling your shrieks to mere cries as the pair of you topple.
You’re cursing, kicking, flailing as much as you could, pummelling at his chest, arms, anything you can reach.
The larger man has settled himself between your legs, pinning you to the floor.
“C’mon, tú zorra, keep hitting me,” he grunts, goading you with a grin. “Fucking see what happens.”
In the tussle, you manage to punch him hard in his ribs, releasing an audible crack.
Miguel sucks in a breath, cold through the teeth as his brows . His jaw is set, tense and square. Rich brown eyes growing ever darker.
Before you can even think, a fist locked in the tresses of your hair, yanking hard. Pain burns at your scalp as Miguel tugs your head to the side, exposing the flesh of your neck.
A flash of teeth, a shining wink of a blood-tinged fang. Then he bites down.
Hard.
The world blurs for a quick second.
You feel flesh tear, and the smell of hot, wet metal fills the air. Miguel is almost growling against you. Canines shift beneath your skin.
Something, warm and sticky, is dripping down your neck. The room feels so clammy all of a sudden.
Vision softening, everything is a wave of colours and sounds. You can barely slur out your confusion as Miguel’s hands run along the shape of you, ghosting your clothed cunt.
“Y’wanna act like a bitch, huh?” Miguel hisses — you feel fabric tearing, pulling against your skin. Goosebumps decorate your body as you lay half naked on the ground.
“Looks like I’ve gotta remind who fucking owns you.”
Two fingers push against your mouth, and you’re too weak to fight against them. Saliva escapes from the corners of your lips and covers your chin as Miguel’s digits press against your tongue.
He tastes like blood and salt.
Your eyes flutter shut as you moan around his fingers, blinking out tears.
“You pathetic little slut,” Miguel’s huffing out a laugh, grasping your face, thrusting his middle and forefinger back and forth, grinning as you choke.
Miguel feels your fingers careening against the stiff muscle of his forearm creeping along his shoulders to find home in his hair, ready to pull again.
He jolts, moving quick to pin them against the floor with one heavy hand— despite the Rapture flowing through your bloodstream right now, he wasn’t dumb to let you even attempt to get a hold on him.
He tears his fingers from your mouth, slamming his lips to yours, tongue pushing past your teeth.
You couldn’t even find the strength to fight back right now — all you can feel is him. His body on you, hands groping, his mouth melding against yours.
Miguel finds your futile efforts quite cute. But your struggling isn’t helping you at all, and it’s only turning him on.
He’s grinning against your skin, pressing soft kisses against your jaw, down your neck. The sudden switch has you tense, wary, like a deer in headlights.
“Turn over.” The sentence wasn’t a request, but a demand.
One that he wasn’t patient enough to wait for.
Within a second, he’s got you flipped over, face pressed against the cold flood, arms pinned behind your back. Your bare ass sticks up in the air, and Miguel strikes the skin hard.
Choked pleas fall from your lips, but that doesn’t stop him. One, two, three more times you feel the roughness of his palms against your ass.
Your skin is singing in pain, every nerve set aflame at each swat.
“Ngh, God! I’m sorry! ” you squeal out, “I’m sorry!”
Miguel’s jaw is set once more, eyes steely as he stares straight at your glistening cunt.
“Oh, you’re sorry?” he breathes out, each word dripping in ridicule. A rough finger presses against the hot wetness building between your legs, sticky and sweet.
“No, you’re not. Not yet.”
A loud cry escapes you as Miguel plunges his cock, swollen and hard, deep in the sweltering heat of your cunt. Sharp pain throbs within you for a brief second, pulsing between your leg.
Fangs bared, Miguel groans at your grip. “Fucking hell.”
Tears drip down your face, darkening the concrete as each drop falls with every surge of his hips, the fat of your behind smashing against his abdomen.
“Oh, my G-God,” you stutter out sacrilege, nails biting in your palms. “Fuck, Miguel.”
As much as you want to hate this, hate him, you can’t control how your body feels. Your hips appear to have a mind of their own, pushing back in his grip. The tip of his cock kisses your cervix with each move, walls hugging his length with a tightness he’s never felt before.
There’s a sweltering mix of pain and pleasure, sweetness and salt, swirling inside of you as he’s hitting every goddam spot. Right now, you’re in limbo, on edge, just waiting for that one moment to push you into bliss.
And Miguel knows it. He can feel it. Smell it. Taste it, practically.
Yet, he’s seething.
How dare you enjoy yourself after making go to all this trouble? How do you have the fucking gall to find joy in this?
Heavy grunts escaping through his gritted teeth as his stray hand releases abandon your clasped wrists, only to grip at the back of your neck and push your face further into the ground.
“Dumb. Little. Slut,” he spits, emphasising on each word with a further thrust of his cock, drilling faster, harder, in the hot, wet mess of your cunt. “‘Course y’fuckin’ enjoying this. Never known a girl more hungry f’dick than you.”
You could only hiccup out small pleas as the taller man berates you with scorching insults, accompanied with a mocking laugh that melts into a moan.
Miguel wants to last longer - truly, he does. Nothing is more a sight for sore eyes than the pleading, whimpering mess you are.
But the sounds you’re making and the feeling of your walls tightening in on him, pulls him closer and closer to release quick than he intends.
He can’t help himself.
“Take it, hah, you…fuck…mi corazón.”
You whimper, eyes slinking shut as you breathe out a choked, “A-anything for you.”
With those last three brazen words, Miguel gives one final thrust, leaning over you to bite down on the curve of your neck as he comes — you’re both seeing stars.
It feels like you’re melting, from the inside out.
You can barely comprehend anything but these ebbing waves of sweet pleasure humming from between your twitching legs as you come, your plumped lips caught between your teeth so hard, you can taste blood.
Miguel’s rolling his hips in time with yours, panting, whimpering in your ear as he rides out this high for as long as he can, whispering sweet nothings and broken promises against your body.
You can feel this white mess sticking to your thighs, smeared against your abdomen, dripping with small plinks onto the cold concrete.
Miguel presses open-mouthed kisses down your back, running his tongue over the indents his fangs left in your skin.
“Don’t think I’m done with you yet.” A hand returns to the nape of your neck, clutching at your hair.
A familiar wave of dread washes over you.
“Just wait till we get back to the lab.”
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tarjapearce · 9 months
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Miguel x reader x punkmiguel?????
PRETTY PLEASE 🥺🥺🥺
Hope this makes it justice 😳 (No proofread at all I warn you.)
art by @bumbleboots_art in Ig
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The Multiverse was still a baby concept for you. All you knew was that in other universes there were exact copies of you, doing any sort of things. A doctor that would surely make your parents proud, a stripper, that would surely cause the opposite effect. It was like Barbie and her own Multiverse.
Miguel had just quirked an eyebrow when you used the metaphor. But in your universe, you were another Spiderwoman, and you had been recruited by none other than Miguel O'Hara. HQ soon turned into a second home for you.
Annoying as you were sometimes, your input had provided him a different perspective, that bit by bit, had made you earn a spot in his personal circle. You adapted well, quick learner and practical.
---
Smoke filled in the place. The pressure levels from the particle accelerator had gone a bit too over the top, a miscalculation from both you and Miguel.
The explosion in the lab had created a rift, a small portal, enough for an unsettling scene stand before you, Miguel, Jessica and Hobie.
Another Miguel had gone through the rift, tearing through the fabric of space and time. But this wasn't your usual grumpy faced, sarcastic ass and perpetually tired with a chronic savior complex Miguel. No. He was just as tall as your groaning in pain boss, same facial structure. Yet he wasn't.
This portal Miguel had his hair ruffled, yet stylish, contrary to the neatly, well combed hair do you were already used by now. This Miguel had piercings in his face. His brow, and lips and ears to be more specific. He wore a leathery black jacket, the "NO FUTURE" caption drawn into it. Scruffy jeans with a studded belt and heavy boots. His fangs were out, he wore them proudly you had noticed.
Your Miguel, the one that was always grumbling about something, just stared back at him with a frown yet wide eyes. It was as if this Miguel had hung around too much Hobie, which just stared at him with a lazy approval smile.
A punk Miguel. They were face to face, seizing eachother with scrutinizing gazes. A typical 'opposite twins'. What archetype would each one be? Your Miguel would surely be the responsible and well behaved twin that would rarely to never break the rules. Describing the other would be to only make it out even more obvious.
The punk Miguel smirked at him.
"Puta madre, Qué viejo me veo." (Holy shit, I look old af)
Miguel frowned immediately as you giggled.
"¿Where am I?" The alternate version of your boss/almost lover spoke as he took in whatever his eyes could Guitar hanging upside-down his back. Just like Hobie's, hand tucked in his jacket.
"Miguel?"
"Hm?"
"Sí?"
The both turned to face you once more, speaking at unison.
"We need to send him back, as soon as we can."
"Should we give him a temporary pass?"
"No."
"Puedo oírte desde acá , jefazo." (I can hear you from here, Big boss)
Miguel scowled and faced him.
"Cállate." (Shut up)
"¿O qué?" (Or what?)
This Miguel smirked playfully.
"Alright, Alright. Let's calm down." You got in between them, nearly sandwiched between the mass of muscles and clothes to then create a bit of space between them.
"Let's play nice. We gotta figure a way to get him back home."
Punk Miguel wrapped an arm around your neck and spoke
"Gotta listen to her, old man. Don't wanna hang out in a place where you see yourself as the face of oppression. " Hobie saluted him from afar.
Ouch.
"Call me Miggy, Princesa."
Miguel's eye twitched at your stupified state and his words. You smiled at him, excitement sparkling in your eyes.
Trouble. Everything smelled like trouble. Jessica just rolled her eyes.
----
Reluctantly he ended up giving Miggy a temporary pass. Technically he still was Spiderman. His suit had you like a fangirl, marveling over the littlest details. Just like Hobie but darker and meaner.
Miguel would give you tasks, sometimes absurd ones, just to keep you away from himself. Literally.
"What's so funny?" You giggled as you went through the tasks
"Oh, nothing." The not so subtle jealousy from him was endearing to you.
The rest were as fascinated as you were. Miggy and Hobie surely clicked. They would ramble on for hours about their situations and how things were going in their universes. Never in his wildest dreams Hobie would admit that this Miguel was nice to be around.
---
Of course Miggy would scurry within missions whenever something caught his interest. He was more than capable in the battle field, still it was like having an unhinged different version of him. Still to this day it was bizarre to see himself acting like that. Like a total stranger.
Miguel couldn't help but wonder if he had gone through the same in his universe. He had overhead a bit of conversation with Hobie and just mentioned losing someone really important during duty. A requirement that seemed the only demand to join the Spider Club. As Miggy called it.
----
"¿Nunca te relajas?" (You never catch a break?)
"No."
"¿No is everything you say?" He smirked
"No. Yes."
"Con razón hasta canas tengo." (No wonder why I have white hairs.)
"¿Puedes callarte?" (Can you shut up?)
"The only good thing of being you is that we have this princesita here." He gestured over you as you sat down on a further chair.
"Guys, play nice." You mumbled as you entered the room. Miggy smiled your way, hands hoarding you briefly and twirled your body before letting you go.
"There is no we in there."
Miggy shrugged as he eyed you
"Sharing is caring, amigo."
"I'm not your friend. Nor share."
"Déjala elegir entonces. ¿O el pensamiento libre también es una amenaza para ti? " (Let her choose then. Or free thinking is also a threat for you? )
You couldn't help to shrink further and further at his words. Your cheeks were impossibly red, your stomach fluttered. Despite the fight, the both complimented eachother so well, like black and white. What one lacked, the other compensated and viceversa.
You gulped as both Miguels set their deep red eyes on you. Expecting. A shiver ran down your spine. The alarm of an anomaly flared up, you had never ran to duty so fast.
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ckret2 · 2 months
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Chapter 39 of human Bill Cipher is SURE he's about to escape being the Mystery Shack's prisoner:
Ford's confronted with the possibility that maybe, just maybe, he's a little bit too obsessed with Bill.
And meanwhile, Bill has found a way to reach his loyal cultists... if he can find somebody willing to help him make contact.
He thinks Ford is the perfect target.
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Maybe, just maybe, the obsession goes both ways.
(warning for an incident of self-harm via burning, and depersonalization and/or dysphoria (depending on how you interpret it) re: Bill feeling even worse about his body than usual.)
####
Soos, Stan, and Ford had stayed up half the night trying to generate enough NowUSeeitNowUDontium to prevent it from vanishing the moment one of them lost (or gained) focus. They'd eventually given up and stayed the night in Northwest Manor. Soos had texted Melody around midnight, and she'd immediately replied (which alarmed Ford, but Soos assured him she was used to those hours) and agreed, with some trepidation, to spend the night by herself in the shack so that the kids wouldn't be alone all night with Bill. She'd texted a half hour later to report that the bathroom was a disaster, but the kids had reassured her it was just some werewolf thing, so, not a big deal.
Ford had thought getting to spend a night without Bill under the same roof would be a relief. Instead, he found his sleep was even worse. He kept worrying about what Bill might get up to so far away and out of sight, where Ford couldn't do anything to stop him. Surely, by nighttime, Bill had to have noticed that the only humans he'd seen all day were the kids? Would he consider Melody any kind of threat, no veteran to combating Gravity Falls' weirdness?
It figured that the dream demon would find a way to disrupt Ford's sleep when he wasn't even there.
####
Ford had given up on sleep around two in the morning and gone wandering until he stumbled across a den with walls covered in bookcases, massive windows overlooking the forest below, and a pair of richly upholstered armchairs turned to gaze out the windows. He drifted between the chairs to one of the windows. It was the kind of personal library he'd dreamed of accepting esteemed guests in, back when he'd fantasized about one day being rich and famous. He suspected the Northwests had never read a book in this room.
Ford had been staring out at the still night and the dark pines for several minutes when he heard the creak of a door and soft footsteps behind him. He whirled around, raising a weapon. "Back, you spectral fiend!"
"Whoa! Easy, Sixer!" Stan held up a hand defensively. "It's just me!" He lowered his hand. "Why are you holding up a dinner plate?"
"Er—sorry." Ford sheepishly tucked the silver dish under his arm again. "I'm sure I saw a ghost earlier. I thought it prudent to arm myself."
Stan muttered, "This place sure is creepy enough for it."
"Mm. It's built on more than its fair share of bones." Ford returned to gazing out the window, hands clasped behind his back. "I'm sorry today was a failure. When I'm staring right at an experiment on which the fate of the entire universe depends, it's hard not to think about it."
"Eh, I wasn't doing too hot either," Stan admitted, joining Ford at the window. "There's only so many times you can hear Soos whisper 'Think about the miniature particle accelerator' in your ears on a loop before you zone out and start thinking about fishing season."
Ford huffed. "Maybe we should have switched places."
"Yeah, probably. I retired from thinking about science after I got your dumb portal running, and once you get your head stuck on something you can't stop thinking about it."
Ford laughed wryly. "Unfortunately accurate."
There was a moment of silence; and then Stan said cautiously, "Speaking of you getting your head stuck on something..."
Ford didn't like that tone. "Hm?"
"I was, uh... doing some light reading..." He held up Ford's journal.
A jolt of anger and fear shot through Ford. "Give me—" He snatched the journal back.
It wasn't until it was in his hands that he registered the absurdity of his own action; for the past year, he'd given Stan free access to Journal 5. He'd used it to document their travels and discoveries as a reference for them both; he'd even asked Stan to contribute a couple of entries. Based on a prior precedent of seven months, Stan had every right to look at Journal 5. Revoking that access now was... Well, it didn't look good.
Stan didn't immediately say anything. Ford supposed his own actions said enough. He tucked the journal under his arm with the silver dish.
Stan cleared his throat. "I think we're a little past the 'superhero nemesis' thing."
"It's not a problem," Ford said tersely.
"Not a prob—? Ford, you're letting him consume your life."
"He's consumed all our lives. The kids haven't been able to invite anyone over, Melody all but runs to her car after work, you ended up in a showdown with fae nobility—"
"It was just the tooth fairy!"
"Do you know how important a fairy has to be to claim dominion over all teeth?"
"Forget about the fairy!" Stan waved off the whole fairy topic with one hand. "Look, I'm not the one who's dedicated half a journal to talking about him!"
"You don't keep a journal, Stanley—"
"That's not the point!"
"—I'm just saying, if you did keep a journal, I think he'd have come up on more than a few pages—"
"But like this?" Stan gestured toward Ford's journal. "This is turning into an obsession. And not one of your normal obsessions."
The back of Ford's neck heated up. He wanted to argue that he had to obsess over Bill if he hoped to find a way to kill him—but Stan already knew that Ford had passed off that project to Fiddleford weeks ago. "How can I be 'obsessed' with somebody I barely even see? I'm avoiding Bill like my life depends on it! I talk to him less than Mrs. Ramirez does!"
"And you're using avoiding him as an excuse to obsess over him even more in private!" Stan gestured again, angrily, at Ford's journal. (Ford defensively tucked it further under his arm.) "You're acting like a stalker, Sixer. Not that I care about him, but, I'm starting to worry about your head."
"A st—?! I'm a scientist, he's a scientific curiosity! I'm documenting him! I document plenty of things!"
"Not like this, you don't."
"There's a lot to document!"
"Including spending a whole page trying to figure out—how to draw his—?!" Stan gestured furiously toward his boxers.
Ford pointed at him severely. "You were just as curious as I was to find out how a giant eyeball and a sentient triangle make that work, don't pretend you weren't."
Stan grimaced. "Okay, fine, I'll give you that one. But writing a full entry about his posture?"
"He's not only an alien being in a human body but a two-dimensional creature in a three-dimensional body, how he moves and gestures could tell us about how an utterly unfamiliar species perceived space! Nearly all his gestures adhere to an invisible coronal plane, that betrays worlds of information about his original anatomy. Do you know that elbow thing he does when he walks—"
"Ford. You're using your great-niece to get drawings of his childhood bedroom."
Ford raised a finger. "That's—" Ford lowered his finger. Ford sat in a nearby armchair, put his chin in his hands, and stared into space. "What am I doing."
Stan patted his shoulder.
Ford slid his journal and the dish out from under his arm and settled them in his lap. He stared at the cover, then thumbed through the pages. It was obvious when they'd returned to Gravity Falls; the drawings of Atlanteans, were-rats, shorelines, and boats immediately gave way to page after page of staring slit-pupiled eyes.
"It's just... Bill is an ancient being, many times older than our universe, and the last surviving specimen of his own bizarre species. As both an anomaly and a source of esoteric knowledge, he's an invaluable subject of study. He's going to die soon, and he should die, but... between now and then, I don't want to pass up the last ever opportunity to study him."
Stan sank down into the chair opposite Ford. "You're listening to yourself, right?" He didn't sound angry anymore, just worried. "This is a guy who tried to kill us. He isn't a 'specimen' you can add to your collection of weird stuff, you know that, right?"
"I know, I know." That was exactly why it was so important—why it seemed so important—to capture Bill in words and pictures before it was too late. (It was funny, Ford thought, how Stan's very first conversation with Bill had been a murder, and yet he was the one who talked about Bill like he was just some guy; while Ford had spent so many years obsessively trying to find out who Bill was that he'd almost forgotten he was a person instead of a terrible idea.)
"When execution day comes and you think you haven't dug up enough of his history, what'll you do? Give him a stay of execution until he's dictated his memoirs to you?"
"No," Ford said immediately. "No, of course not. I'm just taking advantage of the opportunity to learn what I can, while I can. It's no different from your 'shopping trip' at the mall—"
"Hey!" Stan pointed a finger at Ford. "Watch it! That was strictly business! It's not like I'm attached to the guy—"
"I didn't mean anything by it! I just meant—as long as we're stuck with Bill, make him useful, and—and to heck with him after that. Right?" Like Stan had said about the scratch cards: why throw away free money just because of the source? "He'd do the same to us."
Stan hesitated. "And you're sure that when the time comes, you'll be ready to pull the trigger?"
"I know I will. It won't be the first time. I'm just glad that this time I'll be able to aim at his own head."
"Hm." Stan didn't look convinced.
Ford sighed. "But, if I think I'll waver—I'll hand you the gun."
"Is that a promise?"
"Yes, yes, of course. I promise."
But he knew he didn't need to.
####
Soos drove the tired gang home just past dawn, early enough for him to open the Mystery Shack on schedule.
"Soon as we get home, I'm going back to sleep," Stan muttered crankily. Ford—eyes shut, leaning against the window—nodded in agreement. Stan yawned, "And there'd better not be any nasty surprises at the shack."
####
Bill sat sleeping in his attic window seat, knees to his chest, leaning against the window, ear pressed to the glass.
Outside, Stan wailed, "My car!"
Bill's eyes snapped open. He smiled.
He ran to the kids' room, knocked on the door—"Hey, the bigger Pines are back!"—and bolted for the stairs.
####
Soos got the door open at the exact same time Bill stumbled off the stairs and collided with the living room doorframe. Bill grabbed the doorframe just long enough to steady himself, and then bounded over to the door, shoved Soos and Ford aside, and leaned out onto the porch. "HIYA, STAN!"
Stan whipped around to face Bill. "YOU!" He gestured furiously at the wizard graffiti on his car. "WHAT did you DO to my CAR!"
"Do you like it?"
Stan let out an inarticulate scream of rage.
"Oh, you love it!"
"You massacred it! I've had this car forty-five years! I've done things in this car I can't say! And it's never, never been so—so—violated!"
Grinning ear to ear, Bill said, "What do you think of the girl wizard?"
"The what?!" Stan circled the car. He screamed again.
"Uh-huh?"
"Why does she have a beard!"
"Go on," Bill said gleefully, "tell me what you think! I want the full review!"
"This," Stan said, "is the most ugly, hideous, terrible—"
Bill glanced back at a sound on the stairs. "Oh, hey Mabel! Get over here!" He gestured proudly as Mabel joined him in the doorway. "And here's the artistic mastermind herself!"
Stan choked on his words. "—b... beautiful, stunning, museum-worthy work of art I've ever seen."
Mabel beamed. "It's not finished yet, we ran out of some colors! I was going to add a dragon on the hood!"
Stan's face went white. "No no, it's... perfect the way it is. Don't—don't change a thing."
"Really? You're sure? I don't mind!"
"Really." Looking slightly nauseous, Stan said, "I love it just like this, pumpkin."
Mabel squealed and ran outside to give him a big hug.
Bill was fighting back silent laughter so hard he almost fell down.
####
"...And I still haven't found any sign of the Nightwigglers," Dipper said, sighing dejectedly and dropping his journal on the counter next to the cash register. "So, I dunno, maybe I should give up on this one and move on."
Wendy was sitting back with her feet kicked up on the counter, but she straightened a bit to look at Dipper's journal. She skimmed the news article he'd paperclipped to one page. "Oh, I heard about this," she said. "The cops talked to me about the first burglary. I was in the thrift shop that day."
"Oh, yeah?" Dipper pointed at the picture next to the article. "Did you see anything like this?"
Wendy's eyes widened. "No—but I think one of my brothers did."
"Wait, really?"
"Yeah, he was talking about it a couple nights ago. He said it was like an armless white thing wearing pants that went up to its face. We all thought he got spooked by a deer butt or something and made up the whole story. Then dad said we should drop it and told us we should stay in at night."
"That's when they come out! At night!" Dipper laughed excitedly. "Do you think your dad knows something?"
"Pfff, not if he can help it." Wendy pulled her feet off the counter and checked the clock. "I could show you the start of the trail my brother was on. It's like ten minutes by bike and the next big tour bus isn't getting here for half an hour, wanna sneak out?"
"Are you serious?! Of course!"
"Just promise you won't tell Gus if we find something. We've been making fun of him for days and I don't want to  admit he was right." Wendy laughed. "Let me grab somebody to cover."
"I'll get my bike!" Dipper was already headed out the door. "I've been looking for a lead for days! I dug through half the dumpsters in town searching for their nests..." The door swung shut behind him.
Wendy ducked into the living room. "Hey Goldie."
"Yello?" He was sitting cross legged on the couch watching TV.
"I've gotta do something with Dipper, do you mind covering for a little bit? Just twenty, thirty minutes."
His gaze flickered to the TV, then back to Wendy's face. "Sure! Anything for you, cool girl."
Wendy had a brief, eerie sense of déjà vu. She shook it off. "I'm not interrupting anything good, am I?" She nodded at the TV.
"Naaah, it's one of those terrible specials about pyramid conspiracies." He shook a cider can, "I'm taking a sip every time they mention Fishmasons or 'ancient dinosaur-worshiping civilization.'"
"Dude. You'll be wasted before the first commercial break."
"Really, you're saving me from myself." He set the can on the TV and followed Wendy into the gift shop. (As he did, Bill checked to see if he had anything on under his hoodie. No? The Pines didn't want him to be seen in public in his hoodie; they thought it would make him "too obvious." He rolled up the sleeves to hide some of the brick pattern and surreptitiously tucked the hood and the bow tie drawstrings into the collar.)
As she headed out the door, Wendy repeated, "Just twenty minutes! Thirty tops. I'll get back before the next tour bus, promise."
"No problem!" He waved her off.
"I owe you one!"
Bill made a note of that.
He looked around the gift shop—any readily-obvious mischief he could get up to? He grabbed an 8-ball cane and took it to the counter. And then he took the stool behind the register, propped his chin in his hand, gazed toward the living room, and resumed watching TV through the wall and backwards. He didn't miss hearing the conspiracy talk—he was sure it was actively making him stupider—but credit where credit was due; they made those CGI pyramid models really hot.
A cutaway of one pyramid showed its internal tunnels and chambers. Bill bit his lower lip. Oh yeah. That's what he came here for.
Several minutes went by. The door opened and a lone tourist crept in, a middle-aged woman with a sun-damaged tan. Bill straightened up and switched his eye patch over to hide his bleeding eye. "Heya! Next tour's in..." He checked the clock, how long until the next bus? "About fifteen minutes."
The woman nodded and quietly started circling the gift shop.
Bill glanced toward the living room, decided he'd better not start damaging his other eye too, mentally cursed the tourist, and pulled out one of Wendy's magazines to read. "Let me know if you need anything."
The tourist spent several minutes making a slow circuit of the room, and then crept up to the cash register. Bill looked up with a smile, didn't see any souvenirs in her hands, and asked, "Can I help you?"
Hesitantly, the woman said, "The sun sets a deep blood red."
Bill's eye flew wide open, his heart leaped into his throat, and his breath hitched. His gaze roved over her exposed skin until he spied a tattoo on her right arm: four triangles stacked atop each other, starting with an equilateral and each getting shorter and more obtuse as they descended, until they'd reduced completely and a single horizontal line underlined all four triangles. This wasn't quite the happiest he'd ever been to see the symbol of a devastatingly self-destructive high-control cult, but it was close. "Oh! Oh, this is—" He rubbed his temples, squeezing his eye shut. "I know this. I rhymed 'red' with 'pyramid.' Why do I give everyone a different code. 'But rises gold over the pyramid'—something like that, right?" Bill gave the woman a pleading look. "I'm close enough that you can tell I know what you're talking about!"
A look of relief washed over her face. "You know him." Voice low, she asked, "Is it safe to talk?"
Knew him? He was him. But he couldn't claim that without proving it—what would convince her?—telling her something that only he knew?—great, but what? Her face was vaguely familiar—he thought he might've given her a visionary dream once—but he had so many little worshipers and they were so unimportant, most of them blurred together.
So all he could do was say, "It's not safe. Everyone here is an enemy."
She nodded sharply. "Where can we meet?"
Bill paused. "We can't. I'm... trapped."
Her brows creased with worry. "They're keeping you prisoner?"
"Afraid so."
"I could get the police—"
"Everyone," Bill repeated, "is an enemy."
She paused, processing that. Bill's gaze flickered to the clock. Wendy said twenty minutes, thirty tops. She'd been gone twenty-two minutes. "Someone's coming any minute."
"Right." The cultist grabbed Wendy's magazine, tore a corner off a page, and grabbed a pen.
"How did you find me?" Bill asked. Of all the tourist traps in all the tiny towns in all the world, how had she come in hereand walked right up to him? 
"We were told a devotee was here," she said. "Someone sent the address and phone number to the Bahamian art studio."
Bill's mind spun. How? Who the heck would know to do that? The only person who knew he was here who'd come anywhere close to any of Bill's other worshipers was...
Ford? No. Did he?
The cultist shoved the paper in his hand and turned to leave.
Bill grabbed her arm. "Stay out of Gravity Falls," he commanded. "But stay close. Don't go back to Death Valley." Between the sun damage and the tattoo, she had to be one of his Death Valley girls. She looked like their usual prey: disaffected middle class white woman, probably had a dead end job and a mediocre husband and a useless degree from a liberal arts college. Maybe being able to guess where she came from would impress her.
It did. She stopped and turned back and looked at him in amazement—and then looked at him, staring hard at his eye. "You're... hosting him, aren't you?" Her voice fell to a whisper. "No. Are you...?"
"You got me." He smiled wryly—behold him, electric god bound in flesh, how low he's fallen, but at least he still has his good humor, doesn't he? "I always said you had great intuition." (It was a safe bet. He usually told the ladies that they had great intuition. Most of them ate that up, and the ones that didn't were often a little too savvy to sucker.)
It worked. She inhaled sharply. "You are," she breathed. "I knew you'd be a woman. Oh, Mary's a fool." She said this like she'd just won some years-old argument Bill had missed.
Mary, as in Mary-whom-Bill-had-put-in-charge-of-the-Death-Valley-compound Mary? Ha. She was getting on in years; maybe Bill could start a schism, that sounded fun. He opened his mouth to say something about Mary having great leadership but waning clarity of vision—
—when the cultist leaned across the counter, grabbed his collar, and pulled him into a kiss.
Okay. All right. She was one of those cultists. Got it. Got it got it got it. Wow. Definitely a "mediocre husband" convert, those were easy to seduce away with a little warmth and affection—nothing obvious, but get them infatuated with the idea of an unattainable incorporeal ideal lover and they'd chase him to the ends of the earth. Maybe a lesbian in denial that Bill had decided to push further into denial, if her assumption about Bill's gender was anything to go by. He tried to remember what he'd told this one.
He leaned into the kiss.
He'd done this before—in dreams, in puppets—he didn't prefer humans, but he could handle them well enough and earthlings had such pretty eyes. And this body he was stuck in made such insistent demands; a surge of human hormones washed over his brain so powerfully it made him dizzy. She broke the kiss to murmur, "Cipher, my lord—" and he took the opportunity to kiss her eyelid and lie, "I knew if anyone could find me, it would be you." He wished he remembered her name. She tugged his face back down to her lips. She was so eager. Cipher, my lord. Oh, it felt good to be revered again—
The door opened. "Um?"
If Bill had had one ounce of his power, he would have killed Wendy on the spot.
Instead, he seized his cultist's hands, ripped them off his hoodie, and shoved her away. "Whoa, lady! What do you think this is, a kissing booth?!" He laughed angrily. "We don't offer that kind of service here! Either get out, or—or buy a souvenir already!" He pointed at Wendy. "From her. Not from me."
Shocked, the cultist turned toward where Bill was pointing; and then turned back, understanding in her eyes.
Wendy raised her hands defensively, grimacing. "Yeah, no, I'm not serving you either. Just... get outta here."
The cultist met Bill's gaze for just a moment, then walked quickly out the door without a word.
Bill shouted after her, "And do not come back!" and quietly mourned as, for the second time in as many weeks, he had to watch helplessly as he sent away his only hope of getting any action/rescue.
"I am so, so sorry," Wendy said. "I leave for like ten minutes and you get one of the nightmare customers."
How Bill loved nightmares. "Twenty-five minutes, but who's counting."
"Psh, shut up." Wendy reclaimed her post behind the counter. "I think she's been here before, she looks kinda familiar. You okay?"
Bill hoped nobody else in town would recognize her. "I think I'll live after some mouthwash. Terrible breath." He wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "Hey, remember when you said you owe me one? You really owe me."
####
All his cultist had written for him was a phone number. Bill slid his stolen journal from its window hiding spot and copied the number down in two-tone dots and dashes. Plaintext transcriptions were usually tricky, given the vast difference between the language Bill wrote in and the languages humans used—but numbers, at least, were easy. Everyone had numbers.
And then he stared at the scrap of paper, reading the numbers over and over, until he was sure he'd memorized them, just in case he ever lost the journal.
And then he ate the paper.
And then he stacked the two cushions of his makeshift bed on top of each other, planted his face in them, and screamed.
Cipher, my lord. It had felt so, so, so good to be revered again.
His organs twisted with touch-hunger and loneliness.
####
Out in the Bahamas, along the southwest edge of the Bermuda Triangle, were two nut job hermits from Miami. Bill had convinced them that the only way they could purge their sins and purify their souls was by sculpting and selling golden avatars of God into which they could pour their guilt, and they had to keep doing it until they no longer felt guilty (and they would never not feel guilty; they needed so much therapy that Bill had ensured they'd never get). And then he'd convinced them that God's true face was an Eye of Providence in a top hat and bow tie.
Over the years he'd lost a little control over those two—in their desperation to be free of sin, they'd also started sculpting avatars to as many gods as they could find and selling them en masse to afford more art supplies—but hey, as long as his face was still mixed in with the rest, fine. Honestly, he was surprised those nuts weren't dead yet.
Somebody in this house had sent his location to them. And in a moment of what Bill imagined was stunning mental clarity, they had passed on that information to the single least dysfunctional pocket of Bill's top cult in the continental United States. Maybe when Bill was back at full power, he'd drop by the hermits' dreams to tell them they'd finally achieved absolution and could rest. Their decades of out-of-control scrupulosity would probably prevent them from believing him, but hey, he could say he'd tried. He washed his hands of all responsibility over them and their mental illnesses that he'd knowingly deliberately exacerbated for his own benefit. Not his problem.
But the question he came back to, over and over, was who had talked to them.
Bill needed to reach his Death Valley cultist. He needed a phone. Every phone in this house was well-guarded. No one would let him touch one... except, perhaps, whoever had sent the SOS on his behalf.
The only person who made sense was Stanford. Bill didn't think he'd ever told Ford about the nutty sculptors; but in the eighties he had given him the mailing addresses of some niche art dealers who would sell tapestries and statues of an obscure one-eyed god to collectors who could appreciate what they were looking at. Maybe Ford had gotten back in contact with them? Maybe he'd told them where Bill was, and they'd passed the information to the Bahamas?
Maybe Ford's feelings weren't quite so cold toward Bill as he'd been pretending.
Bill liked that idea a lot.
Maybe Bill's birthday gift had swung Ford back around to the side of reason—reminded him just how good he'd had it under a muse and mentor willing to teach him anything his nerdy little heart desired. Or maybe he'd always wanted to come back, and had just needed Bill to say it first.
He probably only pretended he hated Bill because they were surrounded by enemies—everyone in the house thought Ford was looking for a way to destroy Bill, what would happen if they knew the truth?
But the truth was there. Bill could almost seize it in his hands. All those moments where they almost talked like they were friends again, before Ford had to stop himself and leave. That one beautiful little word: jealous. And of course, there was the whole thing with the glass pyramid and the "Mysteries" that Ford had passed on—
—to Mabel.
There was another possibility.
As much as Bill would love if it was Ford, Mabel was the only person in the house who acted like she actually wanted Bill alive. Whatever "Mysteries" Ford was teaching her had something to do with Bill, the pyramid made that obvious. Maybe his lessons included the contact information of everyone else Ford knew who knew Bill? Maybe she'd taken it upon herself to call for help?
It was thin. And it was still dependent upon Ford harboring a secret loyalty to Bill that he was passing on to his great-niece. But that was where things stood: Ford was the only person in the house who definitely knew how to reach Bill's followers, but Mabel was the only person in the house who definitely might want to.
And he had to make completely sure of which one of them it was before he asked for a favor.
####
Ford had missed dinner again.
Fiddleford had sent Ford home with a pile of math. All the calculations he'd done to get the miniature particle accelerator to produce Dontium. By his reckoning, that there jar should've filled with Dontium faster than greased lightning; he just plumb can't understand why it trickled in like cold molasses. (His words.) He'd asked Ford to check his work, see if he'd missed something.
Ford was more than happy to help. It was a much-needed intellectual challenge that didn't involve Bill's underhanded birthday gift. Something that would let him feel like he was making progress. And it was comfortingly familiar. He and Fiddleford had spent weeks checking and re-checking each other's math in the lead up to the portal test, before they knew what a horror they were building.
As soon as Ford had gotten home, he'd put Fiddleford's papers in his underground study before going back to bed. Bill had already admitted he could glimpse the future, although Ford wasn't sure how far; and Ford was growing convinced that Bill's ability to perceive "higher dimensions" let him see through walls like they weren't there. He'd begun keeping Journal 5 and other sensitive materials down in his study at all times, hoping that the distance and layers of dirt and rock would keep Bill from peering in.
And when he'd dragged himself out of bed around noon—an embarrassingly late hour to get up, but he had been awake most of the night—he'd grabbed a quick breakfast/lunch, brewed a pot of coffee to take with him, and gone below to get to work.
He'd only worked seven or eight hours with a couple of reluctant breaks in the middle before his head began pounding too hard for him to ignore. He'd been neglecting his exercise regimen the past few weeks, and his back and neck were letting him know. In his thirties, he'd been able to work fourteen hours days and still want to keep going—and that was even before he'd handed his body over to Bill so he could keep working around the clock. He wasn't as young as he used to be.
He dragged himself upstairs after sunset, when the last ambient light from the sky still faintly glowed through the windows. He could make something quick and simple for dinner, go to bed early, and get up early to continue working. He pushed through the door to the dark living room—
"Hello!"
"Gah!" Ford jumped. "You. What are you doing here?"
Bill was leaning next to the door, a dim silhouette with his elbow on the wall and cheek in his hand. Even in the dark, Ford was sure he could see Bill's wicked grin at his reaction. "I happen to live here."
Ford let out an irritated huff. "Whatever you're up to, I don't have time to deal with it. Find someone else to bother." He pushed past Bill and headed toward the kitchen.
It would have been too much to expect Bill not to follow him, wouldn't it? "Aw, c'mon, don't be like that! Would it kill you to act like you're happy to see me?"
"Probably."
Bill's laugh made Ford's shoulders raise up around his ears. Maybe that was the source of his neck pain.
Bill shadowed him into the kitchen and leaned on the table, watching while Ford rummaged through the fridge. "But seriously, Sixer—who are you trying to impress by giving me the cold shoulder? I'm the only one here. You could afford to treat me like a person for two minutes." When Ford slammed the fridge door, Bill smacked it with the tip of an 8-ball cane. "Hey, have my food privileges been revoked? Give me a turn."
How long had Bill had a weapon? Ford snatched the cane from him, but opened the fridge and left it. "I don't consider you a person. I consider you an incalculably destructive force of pure, brutal chaos." He cracked three eggs in a skillet and opened a cabinet for one of the stove knobs they kept stored where Bill couldn't reach them.
"Flattering!" Bill started pulling out his usual nauseating array of condiments: today was sauerkraut, maraschino cherries, mustard, ranch dressing, and barbecue sauce. (Why did he eat like that? Did his species usually subsist on a mostly liquid diet? Was it the flavors—?) "Hey, make me mac 'n' cheese, wouldja?"
"No."
"Fine. Leave the burner on when you're done, I'll make it myself."
"You're not allowed to use the stove."
"Then how about I sit here drinking mustard while you enjoy a hot meal." Bill waved three eggs at Ford. "At least make me eggs too. Zero extra effort on your part. I'll even crack them for you if you want."
Ford gave Bill a dark look; but he supposed, as one of the people who had agreed that Bill wasn't allowed to cook, he was in no position to complain about Bill begging him to cook on his behalf. He snatched the eggs out of Bill's hand. "How do you want them."
"I haven't eaten enough chicken eggs to have a preference. Whatever you'll complain least about doing."
Poorly scrambled eggs it was. Ford shut the fridge and returned to the stove.
Bill sat on the table and crossed his legs in lotus position while he waited. "But really, what do you get out of pretending you can't stand me! We both know it's an act."
Ford gave him a tired, sour look. "Even for you, you sound delusional."
"I know you don't really hate me."
"I could write an entire dissertation and earn another Ph.D. on the topic of how much I hate you."
Ford hated how excited Bill looked by that. "Would you?"
"No! Why would I waste that much time thinking about you?"
"It seems to me like you're already doing that."
The hair on the back of Ford's neck prickled. Surely Bill just meant Ford's research into how to kill him; but his mind flashed to the miniature grimoire he'd spent all his time poring over—the blueprints of Bill's childhood home—the face he'd absent-mindedly drawn in his journal in the middle of the night and quickly scribbled out. Could Bill still see through that face? Had Ford remembered to blind Bill's eye on the blueprints? What about the eyes drawn in his human faces? Did Bill know about Ford's other studies? What did it matter—nothing Ford was doing was wrong. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Bill's smile slowly widened. "Sure you don't. You might hate me to my face, but behind my back you're as obsessed with me as ever. You might as well lean into it."
You're using avoiding him as an excuse to obsess over him even more in private. "I am not..." Wasn't he? You're acting like a stalker, Sixer.
"Oh, Fordsy, come on." Bill uncrossed his legs, slid off the table, and was across the room faster than Ford had expected. Ford instinctively took a step back and bumped into the oven; Bill reached past him to lean a hand against the edge of the stove, inches from touching him. "You're not hiding it half as well as you think you are. Did you think I wouldn't notice?" He smirked up at Ford, exposed eye wide and eager, utterly fascinated with him. "And bringing Mabel in on it? I'll have to admit, that surprised me. Can't say I disapprove, though."
Ford couldn't tell if the heat on the back of his neck was from Bill's accusations or the stove. "I beg your pardon?" What was he talking about—their conversation in Portland? The blueprints of Bill's home? (Using his great-niece to spy on Bill, lord, what was Ford doing?)
"Quit messing around! The Mysteries, Stanford. You think I don't know I'm the star of that show?" He poked the center of Ford's chest, "There's no way you joined a cult, you're not enough of a team player! What'd you do? Invent your own cult of one? Mixed a little of what I taught you, a little of whatever you learned out in the multiverse? I know you were asking around about me." Bill chuckled. "You want to keep your little rituals private, fine—I think it's cute, really—just tell me one thing I've been dying to know: how much have you told the kid?"
Ford stared at Bill.
Then he laughed in his face. "You really bought that?"
Bill's smile immediately vanished. "What?"
Ford shoved Bill's hands away. "There are no 'Mysteries.' It was a joke."
Bill stepped back, staring at Ford, brows furrowed. "A...? No," he said. "She's got that glass pyramid—"
"She wanted it because it was pretty," Ford said. "I gave her one since I was throwing them all out."
"That's the stupidest story I've ever heard. Then why would she have brought up the Mysteries!"
"Because," Ford said, "I told her, if you asked about the pyramid, she should make up something to confuse you."
Bill's mouth was open, but no words came out. His face had rapidly turned red. Several emotions flashed across his face in quick succession, from shock to confusion to humiliation to a rage so deep it almost looked like disgust. For a moment, from how Bill's fingers were curling like claws, Ford was sure Bill was about to attack him.
But then he clenched his jaw, backed off, leaned on the table, jammed his fists down against the tabletop, and glared at the floor.
Ford turned back to the stove, grinning to himself. Some of the eggs had burned slightly. Those were Bill's now. "What's the matter? Did you forget that humans can lie?"
Bill didn't reply.
"I'm surprised you didn't expect it. I seem to remember we got you with an impressive whopper last year—"
"Shut up."
"Now you don't want to talk?"
"Now you do?"
Good point; he didn't. If he'd finally rendered Bill speechless, he should enjoy it while he could.
He'd have to thank Mabel later for inventing the Mysteries. Sometimes that girl could be genius.
Ford turned off the burner, put the stove knob away, and dumped the eggs onto two plates. He didn't even bother to keep track of which plate had the burned eggs.
He shot a quick, exasperated look at Bill—he'd sat on top of the table again—and dropped a plate next to him. "Here." He grabbed a bag of bread and looked around for the toaster.
Behind him, voice trembling but low and dangerous, Bill said, "Don't look at me like that."
Ford glanced back warily. "Like what?"
Bill violently shoved off the table. There was an awful squeal of sliding furniture. Before Ford could react, Bill was in his face, grabbing him by his turtleneck, dragging him in, forcing him to look up at Bill.
Ford's peripheral vision was filled with gold. They were so close their noses nearly touched.
"Like you don't remember who I am!" Bill stared down with wide-eyed seething rage. "Your muse!" His voice cracked, "Your god!"
Ford stared up at Bill, speechless.
Then he looked down.
Bill was standing on a chair to make himself taller than Ford.
Ford ripped Bill's hands off his sweater. "You were never, ever my god."
Bill stumbled off the chair, catching himself hard on the edge of the table to keep from falling completely. "That's not true!" He heaved himself back onto his feet with a wince. "You worshiped me—"
"I admired you!" Ford jabbed a finger at Bill's chest. "I respected you! I—I even idolized you, but I never worshiped you!"
Bill jabbed a finger back, "You're splitting hairs! You practically turned your study into a temple to me—tapestries, rugs, statues—"
"Because you said it would help me reach you!"
"And it did! That's what shrines are for, genius!"
"It wasn't a shrine! Not to me."
"You're kidding me! All the money you dropped on that gold-plated statue and you expect me to believe that wasn't an act of worship—"
"Do not. Remind me. How much. That stupid statue cost."
"If you didn't build a shrine for worship then what in the world did you build it for!"
"Friendship!" Ford took a shaky breath in. "I thought... I honestly thought you—you—were my best friend." The air in the room trembled with heat. They were standing too close to each other. Ford refused to be the one to back up.
"I was," Bill said. "I still could be if you'd stop being a moron."
Ford laughed in disbelief. "Which is it, were you my god or my friend?!"
"They're not mutually exclusive—!"
"You can't keep your story straight for THIRTY SECONDS!"
"Don't you call me a LIAR, after EVERYTHING I taught you—!"
"In all the years I've known you I don't think you've told me the truth ONCE—!"
Stan flipped on the lights.
They froze and stared at him. They had their hands around each other's throats. Bill had a foot planted on Ford's stomach like he was trying to get a foothold to climb him. They were both covered in egg.
Stan said, "Could you do this in the morning?"
Ford said, "Sure."
Bill said, "He started it."
"I st—?! You started all of this thirty years ago—"
"Guys," Stan said tiredly.
With some effort, Ford unpeeled his hands from Bill's neck.
To his surprise, Bill voluntarily let go as well. Ford snatched up what was left of his plate of eggs, took the loaf of bread—he had lighters, he could toast it downstairs—and left the kitchen, turning the light off as he went.
Stan was waiting out in the entryway. "Heading to bed?"
"No." Ford shoveled a forkful of eggs in his mouth. "Going to be up late." He was too angry to sleep. He could eat, take a painkiller for his headache, and keep working.
"More research?"
"No. Calculations."
Stan's shoulders slumped; but all he said was, "Suit yourself. Don't stay up too late."
Ford glanced back once into the kitchen. Bill wasn't moving. He sat slumped in a chair, elbows on his knees. He'd pulled on his hood. Its eye stared at Ford.
Ford wasn't about to pity Bill over a performative display of angst. He'd fallen for that already.
He returned to his study and mathematics.
####
Bill stared at his plate of eggs. He mechanically pushed them around on the plate until they formed a perfect equilateral triangle. He scooped out an empty white eye in the middle.
He stood, snatched up the plate, and smashed it on the floor.
They thought he was stupid. They thought he couldn't use a stove if it didn't have knobs, as if he was a child! The humans made it easy for themselves to think of him as a child when they treated him like one, "baby-proof the doors" and "no sharp objects" and "don't talk to strangers." He could show them.
He grabbed the stem where one of the knobs had been removed, and twisted. He heard the hiss of gas under the burner. Everyone was asleep. He could fill the house with gas. It would only take a little push to make a spark and set the entire shack ablaze. In the dark room, he could see the first glimpse of future flames flickering yellow-orange in the periphery of his foresight. No one would survive. Who's your god now, smart guy? He'd rise like a phoenix from his own corpse and he'd tear this town apart.
Where was Mabel?
Was she home tonight?
Bill turned off the gas.
He pushed up his sleeve and pressed the fleshy part of his forearm onto the still-hot burner. The pain burned away his jumbled anger so he could think clearly.
Who cared how the nutty sculptors had gotten Bill's address? He was making good progress on lucid dreaming; maybe he'd astral projected across the country to call for help and forgotten it when he woke up. He'd probably saved himself without even remembering it. It didn't matter. The important thing was that they'd received the message; and now, Bill had friends on the outside. Friends who were on his side.
If he could ever contact them again.
Bill would find a way. He didn't need Ford's help. "Never worshiped you." Ha.
He needed fresh air. Even if it wasn't safe to escape yet, he needed to breathe. He carried himself backward through doorway into the gift shop, pulled aside the curtain hiding the ladder to the roof—
The trap door was shut. He stared up in despair.
He shot a glare toward the vending machine, and angrily crossed back into the living room.
The air was so stuffy inside the shack. "Never worshiped you." Liar. If it wasn't worship then what was it?
Bill took himself upstairs. Hunger gnawed at his stomach. He lay on his makeshift bed curled up around himself, arms wrapped tight across his stomach, his burn pressed hard against a layer of knit yarn, thighs pulled up against his arms. It was a wholly alien position. It felt unnatural and bizarre. This body had curled like this of its own volition. It seemed like the only thing that briefly smothered the ache of emptiness and the hormonal inferno screaming loneliness through every vein. The loneliness wasn't his. He wasn't lonely. This body was. 
Cipher, my lord.
He hated this body.
He ached to be revered again.
####
It was two in the morning. Ford sat at his desk, pages and pages of math scattered before him, glasses off, hand rubbing his eyes.
He didn't want to be checking a mountain of math like a human calculator. He wanted to be studying strange magic and researching new anomalies. He wanted to be digging through Bill's grimoire.
He wanted to be awed again.
####
(I've been waiting to write/draw Bill screaming his grief over not being worshiped since literally April. I hope y'all enjoyed! This is one of my favorite chapters so far, I'd love to hear what y'all think!!)
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binary-bird · 8 months
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the spot(ify) playlist track list and details under the cut!
(best listened in order, so you can gradually hear him get Worse, like in the film)
hideous - mehro
Head On (Hold On To Your Heart) - Man Man
Same Man I Was Before - Oingo Boingo
The Whole World and You - Tally Hall
Touch-Tone Telephone - Lemon Demon
Dirty Imbecile - The Happy Fits
You're Nobody Till Somebody Wants You Dead - Saint Motel
Sticking It to Myself - Jonathan Coulton
Brand New Day - Neil Patrick Harris
Revenge, And a Little More - Unlike Pluto
I'm Gonna Win - Rob Cantor
Who's Laughing Now - Goldfinger
Laplace's Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!) - Will Wood
Reconstructing Science (Portal 2) - Pascal Michael Stiefel
Goliath - Woodkid
special mentions/tracks that didn't make the list:
Exile Vilify - The National (it's not on spotify anymore ): )
Particle Man - They Might Be Giants (a bit too silly, but it has the vibes)
Shostakovich's Waltz No. 2 (it sounds like his theme! and I'd ramble about the implications of that if anyone asks LOL)
here's a close-up too as a bonus
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(the lineart for the objects are different because he took them from different dimensions.)
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gravitasmalfunction · 3 months
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Is it xianxia? An incomplete checklist:
Multiple realms and the heavenly realm, where we lay our scene, is in charge. Obviously
The male heir apparent/2IC of the heavenly realm is Not Allowed to Have Fun or the World Will Literally End
Sky whale!
This plant/animal/object Cultivated for Thousands of Years and All It Got was this Really Hot Human-Shaped Body
Some sort of pond or vortex portal the Mortal realm that the heavenly realm uses as immortal garbage disposal
Heavenly Emperor is evil? I am packing my little bag. I cannot thrive here
Our Common Enemy the Evil Clan
River of Oblivion (boat hire available)
Secret Heir/Sole Survivor of Mysterious Clan Long Presumed Extinct
They're Not Really Dead Unless They've Disintegrated into Particles In Your Arms After a Tearful Confession of Love and Regret
...or are they?
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fanonical · 8 months
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